Profoundly

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/48659575.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/M
Fandom: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Relationship: Alexander Colbourne/Charlotte Heywood
Characters: Alexander Colbourne, Charlotte Heywood, Mrs. Wheatley, Francis
Lennox, Augusta Markham, Leonora Colbourne, Tom Parker (Sanditon),
Mary Parker (Sanditon), Georgiana Lambe, Alison Heywood, Declan
Fraser (Sanditon), Lady Susan Worcester, Samuel Colbourne, Lord
Babington (Sanditon), Esther Denham, Edward Denham, Arthur Parker,
Mr Crowe (Sanditon), Eliza Campion, Reverend Hankins (Sanditon),
Beatrice Hankins, Dr Fuchs (Sanditon)
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-07-17 Updated: 2024-02-25 Words: 230,071 Chapters:
41/?
 Profoundly
by Aries614

Summary

I believe there were many more moments between Charlotte and Colbourne during her "few
short months" that she was the governess at Heyrick Park than what we saw in the series. I
also love Mrs. Wheatley to death and just know she saw a lot and had a lot of opinions on the
happenings in the house that summer.

Notes

This is my first fan fic and I'm very nervous. Any similarities to other fan fiction is
unintentional. I admire a lot of the work on this site but haven't read everything.

Of course the characters are not my own but are those of Jane Austen and the writers of the
"Sanditon" show as is some of the dialog.
 The Interview

The Interview

“Mary told me those girls belonged to Alexander Colbourne,” Tom walked into the parlor.
“Small wonder they were so objectionable.”

“Tom!” Mary admonished.

“Well, you cannot deny that the man is a miser and a recluse and owns not one quality I
could call admirable.”

Charlotte had seldom seen Tom give so strong an opinion on a man. “What has this Mr.
Colbourne done to cause you such offense?”

“He’s tried at every turn to obstruct my improvements, Charlotte,” Tom explained. “If he had
his way, Sanditon would still be a fishing village.”

“I never heard you mention him before,” Charlotte found it curious that Tom felt so strongly
about the mysterious Mr. Colbourne.

“That’s because I prefer not to think of him. In truth, he is rarely seen outside of his estate.”

“After the death of his wife some years ago, Mr. Colbourne largely withdrew from society,”
Mary explained.

Arthur leaned forward, speaking with an ominous tone, “They say the precise circumstances
of her death have never been explained.” He grinned mischievously.

“Oh, Arthur,” Mary shook her head at her brother-in-law in amusement.

*****

Charlotte Heywood turned onto the road to Heyrick Park, her eyes roaming the tree lined
path and the fields beyond. A herd of dairy cows spotted the field, grazing on the lush grass.
Ahead of her, the stately manor appeared. She approached the door, wondering what it would
be like to grow up in such a home, on such an estate.

Drawing in a deep breath, she pulled the bell next to the double wooden doors. After a few
minutes, the doors opened, revealing the housekeeper she had met the day before.

“Miss Heywood,” she said. “I was not expecting you to return. Was there something I can
help you with?”

“Yes please. You said yesterday that you were looking for a new governess for Miss
Markham and Miss Colbourne. I came to inquire about the position.”
The housekeeper looked pleasantly surprised, her eyes narrowing as she studied her.
Charlotte thought she saw a hint of amusement as she nodded but couldn’t fathom why.
“Come with me. I’ll see if Mr. Colbourne is available to see you.”

“Thank you, Mrs…?”

“Wheatley,” she nodded as Charlotte followed her into the hall. “You may wait here.”

Mrs. Wheatley disappeared down a hallway, leaving her alone. She stared up at the portrait of
a beautiful young woman hanging above the fireplace. Was this the late Mrs. Colbourne that
Mary and Arthur had spoken of?

“Miss Heywood?” Mrs. Wheatley returned. “You may leave your things here and follow me.
Mr. Colbourne can see you now.”

Charlotte removed her hat and gloves, setting them on the table. She followed the older
woman around the corner into a study. Two walls were lined to the ceiling with books and
two large windows looked out onto the drive. Mr. Colbourne sat behind his desk, busily
writing, his head down. A wiry-haired gray lurcher lay at his feet under the desk.

“Mr. Colbourne, Miss Heywood is here about the governess position,” Mrs. Wheatley
addressed him. “She was the young lady that returned the girls from the parade.”

He glanced up briefly, his eyes taking her in. He was younger than she anticipated and he had
brown eyes and brown hair that was tousled as though he’d repeatedly raked his fingers
through it. Surprisingly, his cheeks were unshaven, something rarely seen in a gentleman of
such means. Still, Mary had said he had left Society many years ago so she supposed a
reclusive man such as himself simply didn’t care.

“Thank you,” he nodded and then called the housekeeper back. “One moment, Mrs.
Wheatley.”

“Seven fifteens,” he said brusquely, not looking at her.

Charlotte frowned, unsure if he was indeed speaking to her. “I beg your pardon?”

“What are seven fifteens?” he repeated expectantly as he folded the note he’d been writing.

“A hundred and five,” she replied confidently.

“Capital of Argentina?”

“Buenos Aires.”

He quickly scrawled across the outside of the note. He’s left-handed, she noted idly. “Do you
play an instrument?”

“Pianoforte. A little,” she admitted. She was most definitely out of practice.
“Mrs. Wheatley, will you see this is delivered today, please?” Mr. Colbourne handed the note
to his housekeeper.

“Sir,” she took the note and turned to leave the room.

He picked up a stack of notes from his desk, flipping through them. “ Pouvez-vous tenir une
conversation en Français ?”

“ Oui monsieur. Je peux parler Français .”

Finally, he looked at her, indicating for her to sit. “Please.” He stood and walked around to
the front of the desk and leaned against the edge, crossing his booted feet at the ankle and his
arms across his chest. The dog raised her head at the movement of her master, wondering
why her sleep was being interrupted. “You have already met my daughter and my niece?”

“Yes sir,” Charlotte’s head was starting to spin at the onslaught of questions.

“And that experience was not sufficient to deter you?” She thought she saw a glimmer of
amusement in his warm brown eyes. He seemed to be challenging her in some way.

“On the contrary.”

“What did you make of them?”

She smiled, remembering her encounter with Leo and Augusta the day before. “Miss
Colbourne has a keen imagination and Miss Markham a sharp wit.”

“By which you mean they are respectively feral and insolent,” a smile flickered quickly
across his face.

“If I had meant that, sir, I would have said so,” Charlotte insisted. She was not going to back
down.

“What those children require is discipline,” he walked back around his desk and sat down.
“Someone who will take them in hand. Leonora is nine years old and, despite what she seems
to think, a girl. Augusta on the other hand is…well you’ve met her. Her attempt to assert her
maturity only proves the fact that she is still a child.”

“I believe independence of spirit is something to be encouraged,” Charlotte said with

conviction.

“Really?” he challenged. “My brother and I had a governess who met independence of spirit
with a leather belt. That’s how I learnt to behave.”

“Then I feel very sorry for you and your brother, sir.”

That seemed to give him pause for a moment, his face thoughtful…and perhaps a little
surprised at her response. “I assume you have a letter of recommendation from your previous
employer?”
She reached for her bag, standing. “No, but I brought some work to show you. I have eleven
younger brothers and sisters. I’ve been helping our father with their education for the past
year.” She pulled the samples of worksheets she’d spent hours creating for her siblings from
her bag and handed them to him.

“Then you are not a governess at all,” he said as he flipped through her papers. “You are here
under false pretenses.”

She ignored his comment, unsure if he was teasing or serious. “I have some classical
learning. Homer, Heraclitus. The English poets of course. A deal of Shakespeare.
Mathematics.”

“What use are poetry and mathematics to Augusta?” he demanded, his eyes flashing.
“Society asks that a woman be accomplished, not learned. Trust me, Miss Heywood, I know
what happens when a woman falls short of society’s expectations.”

There was something about his eyes and tone of his voice that made her believe that
something had happened in his past, something that caused him to still feel resentment, anger
or pain…perhaps all three. It was clear that his experience was strongly coloring his opinion
of what his daughter and niece should be taught by their governess. Charlotte had no interest
in merely teaching young women and girls to become meek wives and mothers who withheld
their opinions, if they even had them, simply because that was what Society expected of
them.

“Then society is wrong, Sir!” she said emphatically. “Why should your girls be deprived of
an education on account of their sex? I would seek to open their minds to the world around
them, not encourage them to be meekly submissive. So if that is what you are looking for, I
apologize for wasting your time.”

She grabbed her portfolio of papers from his desk, turned on her heel and walked out. She
paused in the foyer, stuffing her papers back into her bag before she quickly put her hat and
gloves back on.

Mrs. Wheatley appeared from the hallway. “Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley,” she nodded politely.
“It was a pleasure to meet you.” With that, she walked out the door.

Disappointment quickly replaced the frustration she’d felt as she walked away from the
imposing house. She had hoped that by securing a position as governess that she would be
able to make an argument to her parents that she be allowed to stay in Sanditon rather than
return to Willingden. Without a means of supporting herself, she would have no other option.

She turned at the sound of rapid, light steps on the gravel path behind her to see the gray
lurcher that had been sleeping under Mr. Colbourne’s desk following her. Smiling, she
crouched to greet the dog, scratching her ears. At least you approve of me, sweet girl .

The dog turned and ran back to the house and she continued on her way, pondering what she
would do next now that the governess position had not worked out the way she’d hoped. She
thought back on her conversation with the master of the estate.
He could not have been more than five and thirty years old, possibly younger. He must have
been quite young indeed when he became a father and then a widower. She supposed it must
be quite demanding on his time running such a large estate as well as raising his young
daughter and then suddenly his niece all on his own. She recalled Tom’s words that he was a
recluse and Mary saying that he had withdrawn from Society after the death of his wife.
Perhaps he was ill-equipped to be raising the girls on his own whilst still in mourning for his
wife and was merely doing what he thought Society expected of him.

She felt a little guilty for expressing herself so candidly to him and a surge of compassion for
the girls. Augusta had been so angry when she’d said she felt she was a prisoner for the past
sixteen months and eleven days. Twelve days now . She was not so much younger than
Charlotte herself and yet was dealing with the death of her parents and the upheaval of
coming to live at her uncle’s estate. She knew nothing of her relationship with Mr. Colbourne
but it seemed as if the two must be at odds given her resentful words and his description of
her as insolent. There was a pall hanging over Heyrick Park and it pained her to a surprising
degree.

She wished she could have been able to help in some small way but it seemed it was not
meant to be.

*****

Alexander Colbourne stared after the enigmatic young woman who had just left his study.
The room remained charged with her energy and he felt decidedly unmoored. He could not
recall another moment in his life when someone he had just met had left him feeling so
flustered. For such a young woman, she had no reservations about sharing her opinions on
raising girls to be well educated, not just accomplished. He’d been struck speechless by the
ferocity of her discourse. Her eyes had burned bright with passion and he’d simply sat there
and stared at her in awe.

None of the other applicants in the long stream of governesses had challenged him from the
moment they’d walked into his study. Certainly, he’d been advised on numerous occasions
how poorly his niece and daughter had been raised, how they were wild and undisciplined.
One had adamantly argued that Leonora required a good spanking and been summarily
dismissed before she could take another breath. In all cases, they’d been stern, humorless
women who hadn’t been able to rein in their charges.

In choosing a governess for his daughter and niece, he’d thought he was doing what was best
for them by choosing experienced women who were well accomplished and firm. Women
who would be able to impart not only knowledge of what was expected of young ladies by
Society but who would instill the discipline and manners both girls needed. He drew the line
at physically disciplining his daughter and niece as his own governess had done but otherwise
expected a governess to maintain order while teaching her pupils to be respectable and
accomplished young ladies.

He had been surprised to see such a young woman enter his study when Mrs. Wheatley had
told him Miss Heywood was there to inquire about the governess position. He hadn’t realized
at first she was the same young woman who had brought the girls back from the parade the
day before. He had immediately noted her soft brown eyes and tendrils of brown hair that
framed her face. A face that stirred something in him he hadn’t felt in more than a decade.
He’d quickly pushed those observations aside, mentally chastising himself.

In stark contrast to his prior governesses, Miss Heywood was young, intelligent and
passionate that Augusta and Leonora should have the opportunity to learn about the world
around them, challenging the perceptions of Society that women should be meek, quiet and
only accomplished at womanly pursuits that would make them good wives and mothers. The
type of woman that Lucy had been raised to be.

Was he trying to force Augusta and Leo into the same mold as his late wife?

When he’d met Lucy, he’d been drawn to her beauty and easy way of conversing with
anyone. She’d been charming and engaging and quick to laugh. She came to life when
surrounded by adoring suitors and friends, most at ease in social settings that he found
awkward and taxing. He’d been content to stand back and watch her as she happily flitted
through balls, teas, dinners and parties like a beautiful, delicate butterfly.

While Lucy could play the pianoforte, sing, paint, and do the finest of needle work with great
skill, he’d never been able to engage her in any deep conversation on topics that interested
him. She had no interest in history, literature, philosophy or the sciences. Her French was
barely passable and she knew not a word of Latin. Given the opportunity, she would spend
hours sharing the latest gossip but turn her nose up when he tried to tell her about the current
state of affairs at Heyrick Park. She had little knowledge of the state of the world unless it
had to do with the latest fashions from Paris or rumored pairings and scandals of the Ton.
And she preferred it that way.

Giving pause to consider his niece and daughter, he could not view them in the same image
as his late wife. Augusta was exceedingly well read and could already speak French with
great fluency. She likely did not need a governess to further her learning but did need one to
teach her the manners and ways of being introduced to Society. Her insolent behavior since
she’d arrived at Heyrick Park had only grown worse as time had passed and he saw no sign
that she was ready to enter Society as she so frequently requested.

Leonora was in dire need of someone to take her in hand and not only educate her as befitting
a child of her standing but to steer her towards becoming a young lady as she got older, rather
than the wild child who ran around in a pair of his old breeches, waving sticks and playing
with toy soldiers. Raised without a mother, she was too frequently left to her own devices,
roaming free around the estate, climbing trees and catching frogs instead of learning to
comport herself as a young lady should. So disinclined was she to learn her lessons, she often
disappeared, leaving the various governesses to either wring their hands when they couldn’t
find her or turn in their notice as they declared they could no longer rein her in. As if they’d
ever been able to.

It was clearly evident from the string of failed governesses that something had to change in
his approach to choosing someone for Leonora and Augusta. Shaking himself out of
whatever spell he was under, he jumped up from his desk, grabbed his coat and strode
quickly to the hall. He would have to hurry to catch Miss Heywood before she made it back
to town.
Xander had Hannibal saddled as quickly as possible and mounted, pressing his heels into the
horse’s sides. He directed his horse towards the cliff path, pressing him into a cantor. As he
rode through the field, his thoughts spun. He told himself that he was chasing her down
because she was the only applicant for the governess position. He desperately needed a
governess and there were no other options available. Despite Miss Heywood’s rather strong
opinions and lack of experience, he could grudgingly admit that she was a quick thinker and
her strong will just might be what was needed to put Augusta into her place.

Up ahead, he spotted her walking along the cliff towards town. He guided Hannibal to give
her a wide berth so he could approach her from the front. “Miss Heywood, you did not wait
to hear my decision.”

She blinked up at him, clearly surprised he had ridden after her. “There hardly seemed much
point.”

“The position is yours. Presuming you still want it?”

She nodded, seemingly stunned that he was offering her the position after she had lectured
him in his own study less than half an hour earlier.

“You start on Monday.” He tipped his hat and turned Hannibal, briskly kicking him to ride
back to the house. \

*****

Florence Wheatley had been quite surprised to see Miss Heywood exit the study in haste and
unescorted by Xander. The young lady had taken her hat and gloves, thanked her and quickly
left. But even more surprising was the sight of Xander abruptly leaving his study a few
minutes later, pulling on his coat and calling for his hat. Without a further word, he’d headed
towards the stable.

She had no idea what had happened between him and Miss Heywood that would have caused
both of them to make such hurried departures. From what she had witnessed before she’d left
the room, Xander had been rather dismissive in his questioning of her despite the need for a
governess and lack of any alternative applicants. She didn’t know if it was Miss Heywood’s
young age that made him question her so brusquely or if it was merely frustration from
having to interview yet another governess. But she’d always known him to be respectful and
any of his staff would attest that he was a fair and honorable employer.

It wasn’t that much later when Xander had reappeared, striding into her small private office
as she was reviewing the week’s grocery order. She raised her eyes, scrutinizing him. “I
noticed Miss Heywood left rather quickly. I take that to mean she didn’t meet with your
approval?”

Xander cleared his throat, “On the contrary. Miss Heywood will begin on Monday.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. He seemed to be trying to display a level of nonchalance
he didn’t feel. “Strange that she didn’t seem pleased to have been offered the position when
she left so abruptly. And I noticed you did not see her out. Did something happen, Xander?”
Having known the young master since birth and essentially raising him since childhood after
his mother had passed, she had no compunctions about referring to him by his family
nickname when the two of them were alone.

His cheeks flushed. “Miss Heywood has some…strong opinions that she doesn't mind
sharing. But she at least seems intelligent, well read and willing to take on the girls even after
meeting them.” He twisted the ring on his finger as he did when he was flustered. “She’s no
experience beyond teaching her own brothers and sisters. However, I’ve decided to give her a
trial seeing as there’s been no luck finding any other suitable governesses. We’ll see how she
does once Augusta and Leonora get their hands on her.” He turned toward the door before
pausing and looking back at her. “I’d wager a shilling she doesn’t last the week.”

Interesting , she thought to herself. He sounded almost impressed by the young woman. It
seems something about Miss Heywood has made a crack in his shell, small though it may be .

“I’ll wager a shilling she does,” she gave him a pointed look.
 The Wager & The Water Snails
Chapter Summary

Charlotte starts work as a governess and learns the "house" is taking wagers on how
long she'll last.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The Wager and The Water Snails

On what was to be her first morning as governess, Charlotte was admittedly a little nervous.
It was one thing to teach her younger siblings but a completely different scenario teaching
two girls she barely knew. She had always enjoyed making new acquaintances and was
resolved to getting to know the girls, although she had no doubt that Miss Markham at least
would not make it easy.

As she’d walked from Sanditon that morning, she’d had plenty of time to reflect on her
drastic decision to seek employment. She was even more steadfast that it was the right
choice, despite the objections from Mary and Alison. Her sister’s dramatic declarations that
she was not only ruining her own future but bringing shame upon their entire family because
she was choosing to support herself rather than marry frustrated her. She could not foresee
herself marrying in the future and refused to continue to be a burden on her parents. She had
few options left to her but she would not bend in her determination to control her own future.

Arriving at Heyrick Park, she was once again struck by the beauty of the estate. She would
love to bring the girls outside for lessons, walking the grounds to look at plants and wildlife
and sitting amongst the trees discussing history and poetry. She wondered if they appreciated
the idyllic landscape as much as she did. After receiving no response at the front door when
she rang the bell, she walked around to the servants entrance, entering through the back gate.
She found the housekeeper, Mrs. Wheatley waiting for her.

“Miss Heywood, you’re late. We were expecting you at nine.”

Charlotte blinked, caught off guard. Mr. Colbourne had not indicated a time when he’d
offered her the position. Still, she kept it to herself, not seeing any point in arguing the matter
with Mrs. Wheatley.

“Mr. Colbourne has asked me to tell you, you will receive your monies at the end of the
month. Although few governesses have lasted that long,” she admitted as they began
climbing the stairs to the upper floors. “The household is making wagers as to whether you’ll
last the week. But I’ve a shilling that says you will, so for my sake…”
“Be assured, Mrs. Wheatley, your money is safe,” she grinned.

So they were making wagers against her, were they? Very well. It would only give her more
incentive to prove them wrong.

“Very little daunts me when my mind is made up,” she assured the housekeeper.

Anyone who knew her, knew that Charlotte Heywood was single-minded when faced with a
challenge. It was clearly evident that a challenge awaited her in the form of Mr. Colbourne’s
niece and daughter but she was not going to give up and let the girls down, even if they didn’t
yet know that they needed someone on their side.

*****

Xander spent most of Sunday chastising himself for hiring such a young, inexperienced
governess with strong opinions. What had he been thinking of chasing after her to offer her
the position? Certainly his original view that the girls’ governess should focus on teaching
them how to be accomplished young ladies was correct and he’d merely caved to a moment
of inexplicable weakness and charity when he’d determined Miss Heywood would be able to
sufficiently handle Leonora and Augusta. It was all well and good to encourage independence
of spirit but not until manners and discipline had been achieved first. Given that few
governesses had lasted more than a week or two, focusing on what was important was of the
utmost importance.

He had to admit that he was a bit confused as to why she had even applied to be a governess
to begin with. She was young, intelligent and admittedly very attractive with her large, soft
brown eyes, charming smile and tendrils of auburn hair framing her face. Surely there had
been no shortage of eligible gentlemen asking her to dance at some party or ball in an effort
to win her favor. Would she not prefer to marry than live the life of a governess, a role in
Society that most considered a last resort?

By the time Monday morning rolled around, he felt confident that strongly reiterating his
expectations for the girls’ education would be sufficient in curtailing any of Miss Heywood’s
plans to teach the girls to question the ways of Society before they had been taught to
comport themselves as was expected of them. He still doubted that Miss Heywood would be
successful in reining in her two new charges given the girls’ rather notorious history of
convincing each subsequent governess that resignation was a far preferable option over
remaining employed at Heyrick Park. As she was so young and this would be her first
governess position, he would generously provide her with a letter of recommendation when
the inevitable knock on his door to discuss her position occurred. No doubt she would feel
disappointed but he would try his best to be considerate of her feelings and encourage her to
look for another position with less challenging charges.

Having come to a decision regarding the future of Miss Heywood, he felt confident as he
strode down the hall towards the stairs, having changed after his morning ride. He was
surprised to find Mrs. Wheatley and Miss Heywood by the stairs leading to the upper floor.

“Ah, Miss Heywood, they haven’t scared you away yet?”

Mrs. Wheatley narrowed her eyes at him, evoking an all too familiar warning from his
childhood to behave himself and not alarm the young governess before she’d even taught a
single lesson. She’d probably make an effort to gently chastise him about it later.

“Miss Heywood has only just arrived, Mr. Colbourne.”

“Then I shall introduce you to your charges. Brace yourself!”

He moved purposefully up the stairs, not waiting to see if she followed. The upstairs hallway
was cluttered with items from his childhood - a telescope, old cricket bats, a globe and
numerous books and bits of furniture no longer in use. His daughter darted out of a door,
brandishing a stick like a sword. “Leonora!”

She hurried into the schoolroom ahead of them, scrambling to sit down as they entered the
room. “Girls, you have met Miss Heywood. She is to be your new governess. Allow me to
reacquaint you. My daughter, Leonora and my niece Augusta.”

“Pleased to see you both again,” she greeted them cheerfully.

“I trust you will show Miss Heywood more courtesy than you afforded her predecessor,” he
said firmly, looking pointedly at both girls. “Augusta, what was your last lesson?”

“Embroidery,” his niece practically spat out her response, her disdain at welcoming yet
another governess unmistakable.

Miss Heywood reached for her satchel. “Actually, I thought perhaps we…”

“Your books will have to wait, Miss Heywood,” he said firmly, brooking no argument, “until
you have taught them to act like young ladies.”

“Reading is hardly unladylike,” she protested.

He brushed-off her objection, continuing his introduction. “As you can see, Leonora is in dire
need of a feminine hand while Augusta lacks manners, civility or any of the qualities that
would make her remotely marriageable.” Considering the introduction at an end, he strode to
the door, reaching for the doorknob. “Good luck.”

*****

“Can we really make a home for the water snails?” Leo asked as they piled the hall table with
nets, specimen jars and cushions from their afternoon sojourn searching for molluscs in the
pond.

After Augusta’s scathing remarks on Charlotte’s spinsterhood, she’d decided that a morning
of Leo pricking her finger on her embroidery needle was more than enough of one ladylike
pursuit for the day and an afternoon in the sun studying the local wildlife would be one well
spent. “Of course. Now, if we could find a magnifying glass…”

“I suspect there is one in your father’s study,” Augusta suggested, placing a pile of cushions
on the table.
Immediately, Leo darted around the table, running towards her father’s study.

“Oh! Miss Colbourne!” Charlotte hurried after her but she had already opened the door,
bursting into the room without warning.

“Leonora, it is customary to knock,” Mr. Colbourne admonished from behind his desk.
“What is so urgent?”

She thrust her arm forward, presenting him with a jar full of water and plantlife hanging from
a handle made of twine. “Look!” she said, eager to show her father the snails she’d found.

Charlotte bit back a smile, pleased at how proud Leo was to show her father what she’d been
doing all afternoon. The child had been so engaged that she hardly seemed like the same Leo
from the morning’s lesson. Even Augusta had somewhat tempered her attitude, apparently
content to be outdoors with a book rather than stuck in the schoolroom. That hadn’t stopped
her from making yet another comment about Charlotte’s lack of a husband of course, but
she’d let it pass.

Reaching out, Mr. Colbourne took the offered jar. “Snails?”

“Water snails, Sir,” Charlotte explained quickly. “We collected them from the pond to
examine them more closely. We were in want of a magnifying glass.”

His eyes flickered from his daughter to her. “Really? Well, one snail,” he handed the jar back
before reaching for the glass on his desk. “One magnifying glass, which I shall need back.
Thank you.”

Despite his obvious annoyance at being interrupted, he voice was calm and gentle when
speaking to his daughter. He picked back up his quill and turned his attention back to the
work that had been interrupted.

“We’re being malacologists. Would you like to see our other specimens?” Leo asked
earnestly.

“Tempting as that is,” he said, clearly trying to be patient, “I shall have to decline.”

Leo’s disappointment was palpable as she wrapped her arm around her shoulders to lead her
away. “Come Miss Colbourne, your father’s busy.” She guided Leo to the door, intending to
close it behind her.

“Miss Heywood,” she turned back. “Forgive me, I must have been unclear. I thought I
engaged you to make a young lady of Leonora.” HIs voice now firm as he asked her to
explain herself.

“That is precisely what I’m doing.”

“By trawling ponds for molluscs?”

It was clearly evident that Mr. Colbourne didn’t view malacology as a very ladylike pursuit,
which was hardly surprising given his observations on education during her interview. But
Charlotte was not going to give up on exposing the girls to the world around them. “I’m
widening her knowledge. She has no interest in embroidery, Sir. And you see how engaged
she is. If you could just spare a moment to let her show you…”

“Thank you, Miss Heywood,” he interrupted her. “You are here to further the girl’s education,
not mine.”

“Then I shall leave you to your work, Sir.”

“Planorbis carinatus,” he said as she turned to leave. She looked back, surprised. “Keeled
ramshorn. If you’re going to be malacologists, you might as well use the correct
terminology.”

Surprised, she nodded in acquiescence. The sudden shift from demanding she teach his
daughter and niece only to be accomplished young ladies to grudging acceptance of the study
of water snails, was unanticipated. Perhaps Mr. Colbourne was actually listening to her
arguments for educating the girls after all.

*****

Contrary to most gentlemen of his standing and having been raised with free rein of the
kitchens, Xander held no reservations about wandering into the room at any given time,
seeking sustenance or conversation with his housekeeper and sometime confidant. The rest of
the staff had either known him since he was a child or had become accustomed to his
comings and goings since he’d taken over the estate as a young man. So it was no surprise to
Mrs. Wheatley when he appeared that evening, sitting down across the table from her as she
peeled apples for some dish or other.

He took an apple from the bowl on the large work table, rolling it around and around in his
hands but not speaking. He felt oddly pensive and found it disconcerting.

“Miss Leonora spoke very highly of Miss Heywood this evening,” she watched him carefully
as she paused her peeling and poured him a cup of tea.

Xander met her eye, suspicious of her motive in bringing up the governess. “Yes, she extolled
her virtues to a great extent during dinner.”

In fact, he’d never heard his daughter speak at such great length and with such passion about
a topic before. He and Augusta had been treated to her extremely detailed description of the
keeled ramshorn snail until Augusta had snapped at her, begging her to please stop talking
about molluscs before she forgot herself and ran screaming from the room. Usually one to
prefer a quiet meal eaten in peace with little conversation, Xander had been surprised to find
himself mildly amused and relieved to see Leo so engaged in something other than the
military for the first time in months.

“Perhaps that’s a promising sign,” Mrs. Wheatley said. “Maybe Miss Heywood will finally
get through to the girls.”
 He wasn’t about to share his daughter’s praise of the governess just yet. “It’s been one day
and she didn’t follow my instructions,” he pointed out, setting aside the apple for the cup of
tea. “I wanted the girls taught to be young ladies, not how to pluck snails from the pond.
That’s hardly a ladylike activity.”

She picked up the discarded apple and began peeling it. “The girls worked on embroidery in
the morning.” The peel curled around the knife in one long string. “Miss Augusta
embroidered a somewhat respectable piece declaring Miss Heywood to be a spinster.”

An image of Miss Heywood standing before him formed in his mind, the smallest hint of a
smile on her lips. Something inside him shivered at the thought. ”She’s hardly a spinster,” he
muttered.

He sipped his tea slowly, ignoring the amused twitch of her lips. “And what did Miss
Heywood have to say about that?” He finally asked, curious what the response had been to
his niece’s latest condescending observation.

“She said she wanted to understand Augusta, not punish her.”

Xander snorted derisively. “Understand that she’s insolent and ill-tempered?”

“It seems to me that a little understanding would go a long way in this family.” She raised her
eyes to his. “And if understanding is her approach to teaching the girls, my money is still on
Miss Heywood.”

Chapter End Notes

I'm still trying to figure out how much of the actual show scenes to include so I
apologize if people don't really want to read the scripted content. Maybe I should just
write scenes between Mrs. Wheatley and Xander because those are the most fun.

Thanks for the welcoming and positive comments from all. It means a lot to a newbie
like me.
 Sleepless Nights & Shakespeare
Chapter Notes

So we're fully off scripted materials in this one as there HAD to be more interactions
between Charlotte and Xander in the time she worked for him.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sleepless Nights and Shakespeare

“Xander!”

Startled from sleep, he pushed himself up onto his elbows, his heart jumping. The single
candle in Mrs. Wheatley’s hand provided the only light in the room. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s not in her bed,” she said quickly, her usually calm voice worried. “I can’t find her.”

A flash of light outside illuminated the room, followed a moment later by the low rumbling of
thunder. It was only then he realized it was raining heavily outside. He pushed the blankets
aside and swung his feet to the floor. “What’s she doing out of bed?”

“I do not know. She was asleep when I last checked.”

He reached for the pants he’d discarded the night before, pulling them on under his
nightshirt. “You’ve looked everywhere?” He bent to tug on his boots, bare feet be damned.

“I checked the rooms on this floor but no further. I came to wake you when I couldn’t find
her.” She lit the candle next to his bed so he too would have a light.

Surely she was just in the kitchens looking for something to eat. “We’ll check the rest of the
house. She can’t have gone far.”

Xander hurried to the stairs, Mrs. Wheatley followed close behind, heading towards the
kitchens. He quickly began checking rooms on the ground floor but each was dark and empty.
Turning, he headed back towards the foyer. As he strode towards the darkened drawing room,
his eye was caught by another flash of light, this one coming from the crack between the open
front doors.

No , he thought. She can’t have ventured outside. Not in this weather. What was she
thinking? Pausing to light a lantern from the cloak room, he quickly donned his coat.

Panic began to set in as he raised the lantern against the pouring rain. It was unseasonably
cold, the temperature barely above freezing. Instantly, he was soaked through, the coat doing
little to keep him dry or warm. The stinging rain bit at his face and hands. He moved towards
the tree line, not knowing where to start looking.

Another burst of lighting cracked overhead and hurled light across the grounds. The aged
oak trees left dark slashes of shadow around him, their branches resisting the piercing light.
His shouts were drowned out by the rumble of thunder and pounding rain.

Desperately he surveyed the ground, any hope of finding her in the storm fading more with
each passing minute. He waved the lantern back and forth in front of him seeking any
indication she’d passed this way. His eyes frantically swept from tree to tree, struggling to
see through the rain streaming down his face. Lighting flashed again and he caught
something out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he ran towards it.

Fear gripped his chest in an iron fist as he slid to a stop and fell to his knees. She lay curled
beneath the tree, her skin pale and ice cold. He brushed the hair from her face and called her
name, receiving no response. Hot tears spilled down his cheeks as he begged her to wake up.
Scooping her into his arms, he stumbled back towards the house. Bursting through the doors,
his voice broke as he called for the housekeeper.

Deep in his heart, he already knew it was too late, even as the sound of his newborn
daughter’s cries echoed in his head.

Gasping, Xander jerked awake, his heart pounding in his chest. He struggled against the
blankets tangled around his limbs as waves of nausea threatened. Finally, he managed to sit
up as he struggled for air. He willed his body to calm down, slowly breathing in and out until
his heart beat slowed and the panic eased its ruthless hold on him.

In the beginning, he’d prayed each time the nightmare infiltrated his sleep that it would be
the last time. But at some point he’d come to accept the memories as his penance for the
words he’d flung at Lucy in anger from the pain of her betrayal and for his own failures as a
husband. He bore the last images of her in his head like a brand forever seared into his soul.

He pulled on the prior days’ shirt and pants, knowing from nearly nine years of experience
that sleep would remain elusive for the remainder of the night. Donning his boots, he left his
room and silently made his way downstairs. He would try once again to lose himself in work,
attempting to set aside the nightmare that continued to torment him…until the memories
beckoned once more.

*****

“Mrs. Wheatley,” Cora whispered from the doorway.

She looked up from her desk. “What is it, Cora?” She took note of the breakfast tray still in
the young kitchen maid’s hands. Xander hadn’t appeared in the kitchen for breakfast before
his morning ride or stopped on his way back from the stables so she’d sent the maid to his
study with a tray. “I thought you were taking breakfast to Mr. Colbourne.”

The girl nodded, biting her lip. “Mr. Colbourne is sleeping again, Mrs. Wheatley. I didn’t
know if I should leave the tray or…”
Mrs. Wheatley stood quickly. “Take the tray back to the kitchen and see that the girls'
breakfast dishes have been cleared, please. I’ll see to Mr. Colbourne.” Cora nodded and
turned back towards the kitchens. “And Cora,” she reminded her firmly, “We do not speak of
such things in this house.”

Moving quickly towards the study, she entered the room quietly. Xander was sleeping in a
chair in front of the fireplace, his long legs stretched out with his feet crossed at the ankles.
One elbow rested on the arm of the chair, his head propped up in his hand. His wrinkled shirt
was untucked, the top few buttons undone and his hair in disarray from his habit of
repeatedly running his hands through it when he was agitated. She sighed, her heart aching
for him. He hadn’t intentionally stayed up all night but rather something had woken him from
sleep and he’d sought his work to distract him from dark thoughts.

It had been some time since she’d found him in such a state. The time between his sleepless
nights had been lengthening over the past few years and each time, she’d hoped for his sake
that it was the last. Yet nearly nine years had passed and still the dreams returned. Her own
memories of that night came to her unbidden and she quickly pushed them aside.

The sound of footsteps interrupted her thoughts. Looking up, she found a wide eyed Miss
Heywood standing in the doorway. She held a finger to her lips and moved quickly to her.

“Is Mr. Colbourne ill?”

“Mr. Colbourne sometimes has trouble sleeping,” Mrs. Wheatley shook her head. “He’ll stay
awake most of the night until sleep finally finds him. He’ll be fine once he’s had some rest.”
Miss Heywood’s eyes flickered to the charafe of port she knew was behind the screened shelf
behind his desk. “Mr. Colbourne doesn’t drink,” she said firmly, knowing where her thoughts
must be taking her. Years of working for the previous Mr. Colbourne made her all too aware.

Her words were cut off by movement behind her. Turning, they saw Xander stirring,
grimacing as stiff muscles protested. He pulled his feet up, leaning his elbows on his knees
and rubbing the heels of palms against his eyes. With a grunt, he pushed himself to his feet
and brushed past them on his way out the door.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wheatley,” his voice was rough. “Miss Heywood.”

They exchanged a look as he walked away. “I hope I don’t need to tell you that we don’t
speak of these things here at Heyrick Park or beyond, Miss Heywood.”

“Of course not, Mrs. Wheatley,” she affirmed, her face concerned as she looked down the
hall where Xander had disappeared. “I would never say a word.”

*****

Throughout the morning, Charlotte found herself recalling the image of Mr. Colbourne asleep
in his study and Mrs. Wheatley’s words. She empathized with the man. Her own nights had
often been long and sleepless since she’d learned of Sidney’s death. Her thoughts would swirl
in endless circles of what ifs and memories of shared moments until she abandoned hope of
quieting her mind so sleep would find her. She knew all too well the helpless feeling of
oppressive thoughts.

Her thoughts naturally turned unbidden once again to Sidney and the sudden wave of sadness
washed over her. The waves were becoming less frequent and less intense but they still
caught her off guard at times. And after the sadness came the guilt for mourning a man who
had a widow. And then she would draw the strength from deep inside once again to start her
life anew.

“I have had enough of embroidery,” Augusta declared, slapping the hoop down on the table
and bringing her thoughts back to the school room. “Are you not going to bother teaching
anything else?”

“She’s been teaching me how tadpoles become frogs and caterpillars become butterflies,”
Leo advised from her prone position on the floor where she was using strips of fabric to lay
out battlefields for her soldiers.

“Wonderful,” Augusta sniped. “There will soon be frogs in the dining room and butterflies in
the bedrooms. Uncle will be so pleased.”

Charlotte bit back a grin, her thoughts of Sidney floating away with Leo’s butterflies. She’d
been waiting for Augusta to finally yield. “You haven’t seemed very interested in anything
else so I’ve left you to your own devices. I’m happy to work on something more challenging
if you’d like.”

Augusta puffed out her cheeks and rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she relented, “But no more
embroidery.”

“I know you enjoy reading novels and poetry, but have you read any plays yet?”

“No,” she admitted. “My governess in London hated them and none of the governesses here
have ever stayed long enough to even suggest it.”

“Does your uncle have any plays in his study, do you know?”

Augusta shrugged. “The books in his study are all boring books about farming and
agriculture or husbandry unless he’s left something he’s been reading in there instead of
putting it away. The library is full of books but I’ve never looked to see what plays he might
have.”

“There’s a library?”

“ Of course there’s a library .” It was a wonder Augusta’s eyes didn’t stay rolled to the
heavens, Charlotte mused. “Houses like this always have libraries and my uncle enjoys
reading almost as much as he does riding his horse because neither activity involves speaking
to another human being.”

Her interest now peaked, Charlotte stood up from the table, smoothing her dress. “I’m sure
you must own some Shakespeare at the very least. I’ll go and ask. I need to return the
magnifying glass anyway.”

It was entirely possible she was making a mistake in seeking Mr. Colbourne out now when
she knew he’d had so little sleep the night before. He seemed a contradiction each time she’d
spoken with him and she could not make out his true character. He’d been dismissive and
stern, insisting that the girls’ education could wait until they behaved like young ladies but
she’d seen a brief flash of humor from him when she’d interviewed for her position so he
couldn’t be completely devoid of levity. He’d seemed impatient when Leo had barged into
his study while he was working but had also spoken gently to her, freely giving her his
magnifying glass even when he hadn’t approved of the unlady-like activity. There was every
reason to assume that he wouldn’t be pleased with her interrupting his work but also a chance
he might be receptive to her inquiry.

Descending the stairs, she found the study door open, Mr. Colbourne standing behind his
desk. She gave a tentative knock, prepared to simply return the magnifying glass and depart
if he was in a dark mood.

“Miss Heywood,” he looked up from the book in his hand, surprised to see her. “Is something
wrong?” His face was tired, dark circles under his eyes, but he didn’t seem to be adverse to
her interrupting his work.

“No Sir,” she shook her head, setting his magnifying glass on the desk. “I wanted to return
your magnifying glass.” She hesitated, unsure if she should continue.

He raised his eyebrows in question. “Yes?”

“I was just wondering if you happened to have any plays that Augusta might be able to read?
She’s a bit tired of embroidery so I thought I’d give her something new to try. I know she
enjoys novels and poetry but she said she’s never read a play. She mentioned you have a
library.”

She chewed her bottom lip, anticipating that he would once again try to tell her that reading
books would have to wait until his niece learned some manners. He held her gaze for a
moment before motioning her to move further into the study. Opening the door next to the
window, he extended his arm for her to go through into the next room, a small smile on his
face. Entering the room, Charlotte’s breath caught.

The room was a bit smaller than the study next door but the walls were lined from ceiling to
floor in bookshelves, each one filled with books of all sizes and colors. Even the window seat
and ladder steps were piled high with stacks of novels.

Mr. Colbourne scratched the nape of his neck. “Augusta is good about returning books to
their proper place but I’m afraid that I’m not,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Well you don’t seem to have much room for many more so I can’t blame you,” she said,
spinning slowly around. “I’ve never seen so many books in one place outside of a
bookstore.”

“I enjoy reading,” he said somewhat sheepishly.

“As do I,” she agreed, running her fingers along the edge of the shelves. There were books on
history, philosophy, science, art, poetry, plays and more novels than she could count. “I
believe I could spend a month in this room and still not read them all.”

“You’re welcome to borrow whatever you’d like,” he said quickly.

She didn’t even try to hide her appreciation. “Thank you, Mr. Colbourne, that’s very kind of
you. There must be something in here for Augusta to try.”

“Books are about the only things that make Augusta remotely happy,” he sighed. Pondering
his words, he amended his response. “Perhaps somewhat content is more accurate. I don’t
think Augusta has ever been happy here.” The frustration in his voice was obvious. He shook
his head as though he was clearing the thought from his head. “What kind of play are you
looking for?”

Charlotte scanned the titles on the books nearest her. “I suppose Shakespeare will be a good
place to start.”

“You enjoy reading Shakespeare?”

She shrugged. “Some, but not all. You?”

“Some, but not all,” he echoed.

She couldn’t help but smile. He moved closer to her, his shoulder brushing hers as he
stretched to retrieve a large book from a shelf above her reach. A gentle hum like the buzzing
of bees flitted through her body and was gone before she could comprehend it.

“We’ll avoid the tragedies for now, shall we? There’s no need to make Augusta more morose
than she already is. This one has a few of his comedies in it,” he offered the book to her. “ A
Midsummer Night’s Dream , The Taming of the Shrew and The Tempest .”

She ran a finger down the worn binding. The words came to her suddenly and quietly
departed her lips before she realized she was speaking. “We are such stuff as dreams are
made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.”

He stilled, looking at the book in her hands. His fingers found the signet ring he wore and
began twisting it back and forth. Looking up at her, there seemed to be the briefest flicker of
a plea in his dark eyes as they met hers.

His words were weighted with the burden of sleepless nights. “Bear with my weakness; my,
brain is troubled.”

________________________________________________

You do look, my son, in a moved sort,

 As if you were dismay’d: be cheerful, sir.

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,

As I foretold you, were all spirits and

Are melted into air, into thin air:

And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,

The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,

The solemn temples, the great globe itself,

Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve

And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,

Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff

As dreams are made on, and our little life

Is rounded with a sleep. Sir, I am vex’d;

Bear with my weakness; my, brain is troubled:

Be not disturb’d with my infirmity:

If you be pleased, retire into my cell

And there repose: a turn or two I’ll walk,

To still my beating mind.

William Shakespeare, The Tempest , Act IV, Scene I

Chapter End Notes

I do not claim to know anything at all about the works of William Shakespeare.

After looking into men's Regency era clothing, I've determined that Xander was most
likely wearing pantaloons as they were usually worn with boots. However, I just can't
force myself to use the word "pantaloons" so they will forever be referred to as "pants".
 The Spinet & The Shilling
Chapter Summary

Charlotte attempts to connect with Augusta which leads to a confrontation with Mr.
Colbourne and Mrs. Wheatley collects on their wager.

Chapter Notes

All scripted content is from the writers of "Sanditon".

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The Spinet and The Shilling

Charlotte looked up at Augusta sitting across from her at the school room table. A week after
beginning as governess, she’d made little progress with her elder charge. She knew Augusta
was extremely intelligent and needed very little teaching from her to expand her education.
Yet the young woman before her was obviously in need of someone to be a confidant and
provide her guidance as she entered Society. She was clearly still grieving the loss of her
parents and had no one to share her grief with and offer her comfort in return. Her uncle was
plainly not prepared to step into those roles. She hoped that by continuing to present herself
as a friendly ear, Augusta would eventually feel comfortable enough to open up to her. And
Charlotte was nothing if not persistent.

“Miss Colbourne and I are going to look for food for her snails this afternoon. Will you join
us?”

“The charms of a simple farm girl may work on a child, but they do little to enchant me,”
Augusta scoffed. “Or any potential suitor I should imagine. Hmm, maybe that is why you’re
condemned to such a loveless and lonely life, Miss Heywood. Well, one of the reasons.”

Charlotte suspected Augusta’s condescending remarks about her marital status were more
than just an attempt to get her to resign but that they also reflected her own fears of being
trapped at Heyrick Park with only her uncle and cousin for years to come.

“I have known love, Miss Markham,” Charlotte said softly, her thoughts drifting to Sidney no
matter how much she tried to suppress them.

Augusta rolled her eyes. “Hmm, and let me guess, he ignored your every simpering
advance.”
“No, I was loved in return,” she fought the inevitable wave of sadness that threatened and
looked her in the eye. “But circumstances conspired against us. Then he died,” Augusta took
pause at her unexpected reply. “Miss Markham, our lives may seem worlds apart, but I know
what it means to grieve.”

She very much wished she could convey to Augusta that she understood what the pain and
sorrow she was experiencing felt like. That she was there to listen should Augusta wish
someone to confide in. But Augusta had built formidable walls around herself and lashing out
was the only way she knew how to express herself as she was determined to make everyone
else as miserable as she was.

Augusta met her gaze, her eyes now bright with tears she fought from falling as Charlotte’s
words resonated somewhere within her. “We are nothing alike, Miss Heywood,” she insisted
as though trying to convince herself.

Trying to get the girl to open up, Charlotte reached into her own heart. “Tell me something…
your parents…a happy memory perhaps.”

Augusta seemed taken aback, unused to someone asking her to share a fond memory of
happier times. “I…I used to play for them. Lively tunes to make everyone laugh. They would
sing.” Her voice lacked her usual biting tone as she recalled the memory. “I could play for
you. If you’d like. My aunt Lucy’s spinet in the drawing room. We can unlock it.”

She was surprised but pleased at the change in Augusta’s manner. Perhaps she was finally
making progress. “I should very much like that.”

*****

The drawing room doors and windows were closed, shuttering the large room in darkness.
Another sign that the inhabitants of the house had been closed off from the world. If the room
was kept closed, where did they gather as a family? Were there no evenings of sitting
together before the fire, reading or playing music or games? She tried to picture Mr.
Colbourne enjoying time playing some game with the girls but was unable to conjure the
image.

Moving to the windows, she and Augusta opened the shutters, allowing light to enter for the
first time in who knew how long. Charlotte tried to lift the lid on the spinet. “Why is it kept
locked?”

“You know Leonora,” Augusta drew the key from her pocket. “She will have it destroyed in
an instant.”

Sitting, Charlotte spread her fingers over the keys, trying to acquaint herself with the
instrument. She played a few notes, her finger finding one off-key. “Seems it hasn’t been
played in some time,” she smiled. “It’s a bit out of tune.”

“My ear is not refined enough to say,” Augusta returned her smile. “Perhaps you could play
something.”
She played a bar, hitting the wrong keys. She’d never claimed to be accomplished at music.
“I’m a bit out of practice,” she admitted sheepishly, starting over.

“Louder!” Augusta encouraged as she tried to recall the tune from memory.

Suddenly, a new voice interrupted her. “Stop!” The word was full of pain.

She hadn’t seen Mr. Colbourne appear in the doorway. Startled by the agony in his voice and
his haunted expression, she quickly closed the lid on the spinet. “Forgive me, Sir, I…”

His jaw tightened as he stared at her. She watched as the pain in his eyes was replaced with
anger. “This is locked for a reason. Who gave you permission to play?” He turned to his
niece, with an accusatory look. “Augusta, this has your name written all over it.”

Quickly, it became obvious that Augusta had placed her in a position to tempt the wrath of
her uncle in hopes of eliminating her from the girls’ lives. Charlotte hastily came to her
defense. “No, Sir, it was I. I asked one of the servants for the key. What is the point of a
spinet if not to be played?”

Just then, Leo came barreling into the room wearing her breeches, shirt and tricorn hat while
whooping a battle cry at the top of her lungs as she ran from one end of the room to the other.

“Leonora, what are you wearing?” Mr. Colbourne demanded, clearly unhappy at his
daughter’s unladylike attire.

Leo paused at the door. “Miss Heywood says a woman can dress for whatever suits her
purpose. She said a girl can be whatever she wants to be.” She threw open the door and
disappeared.

Charlotte met Mr. Colbourne’s eyes. “May I have a word with you, Miss Heywood,” he
asked, his words clipped and angry.

She followed him past Augusta, her eyes wide, unbelieving that her governess had just lied
on her behalf, defending her from her uncle’s ire. He strode down the hall to his study,
standing next to the door as she entered and then closing the door behind her.

She drew a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “I have tried, Mr. Colbourne.”

“And like those before you, you have failed!”

His words were an accusation she would not accept responsibility for.

“No Sir! I shall not shoulder that burden alone! You told me I’m not here to educate you, but
there is much you have to learn. Miss Colbourne lacks a mother and also a father. She lost the
former to the grave and the latter to his work. And Miss Markham, were she to let anyone in,
might become a woman of lively intellect, ready to step into Society as you desire. But who
listens to her? Who even speaks in this house of silence? This mausoleum? So this may be
the last lesson I teach in this house, but it is decidedly the most pertinent.”
Even as she spoke her mind, Charlotte was aware of the man before her. He did not interrupt
her accusations to dispute her words. Instead he listened, clearly uncomfortable but not angry
as she would have expected him to be under such an onslaught.

“You wish to leave?” he demanded when she finally stopped speaking, his eyes locked on her
intensely.

His question stunned her. She thought her employment as governess was certainly over. “No,
I assumed…”

“Tomorrow then,” he said firmly. “Same time.”

*****

Xander watched out the window as Miss Heywood walked down the drive, headed back to
town. It wasn’t the first time he’d caught himself watching her leave and despite having no
good reason to do so, he felt compelled to nonetheless.

Once again, as she had the week before, she’d left him feeling unmoored.

When he’d heard the sound of the spinet playing, he had been momentarily confused,
convinced he was imagining it. But as the notes stopped and started, he’d realized someone
was playing the instrument, despite it having been locked since Lucy’s death.

He’d made his way to the drawing room, expecting to find Augusta or Leonora playing but
had been brought up short by the sight of Miss Heywood at the keys. Something about the
sound of the music and the way her dark hair was swept up with soft tendrils framing her face
had brought the memory of Lucy playing for hours to his mind, followed quickly by a torrent
of pain and guilt. He’d had no choice but to beg her to stop.

He’d known instantly that it must have been Augusta’s plan to trick Miss Heywood into
playing in order to get her dismissed. She’d already made it her mission to rid herself of
every other governess he’d hired, there was no reason to assume she’d treat this one any
differently. Yet Miss Heywood had lied, claiming that it had been her idea to play the spinet,
not his niece’s.

Overwhelmed by pain and guilt, confused by her lie and frustrated by Augusta’s trickery,
Leo’s abrupt appearance dressed in boyish attire had pushed him over the edge into an angry
outburst. Convinced that she was yet another in the long time of failed governesses, he’s been
prepared to dismiss her until she’d stood in his study once again and told him exactly what
her opinions were.

Her words had hit him like sharp barbs, digging into him with no regard to the unexpected
pain they caused. Each stinging rebuttal targeted sensitive memories and insecurities that
he’d worked for years to ignore, bringing them all to the surface in a churning boil of regret.

He had spent years working to bring the estate back from the brink of ruin, spending
countless hours pouring over ledgers, bills and receipts trying to understand how he could fix
the mess his father had caused and salvage Heyrick Park. Slowly the estate had become
solvent and then prosperous. His tenants were well taken care of and the farms were thriving.
At first he’d foregone an estate manager simply to save costs but he’d then come to enjoy the
close relationships he’d developed with the families that relied on him. Now, when he could
afford to hire a manager, was he avoiding doing so solely because he enjoyed the work or
was he using it as an excuse to spend less time with his family?

Heyrick had been a mausoleum to him from the moment his mother had died all those years
ago, leaving her two children alone with a bitter man who was angry at the world and held no
compunction against taking it out of his sons. Any happiness that might have existed in
Heyrick Park disappeared that day.

His brother, Samuel, nearly the size of a grown man, stood up to their father, refusing to bow
to him any longer. Desperate to leave the confines of the estate, he’d relished his time at
boarding school, barely tolerating his visits home. Left with his father and the servants,
Xander had retreated to the outdoors, spending his time in the stables or tromping through the
woods, content to be alone if it meant being away from his father. When the weather or
darkness forced him back to the house, he kept to the areas where his father was not, losing
himself in books or seeking the company of Mrs. Wheatley when he was lonely. And so the
house had become one of virtual silence. One boy gone, the other isolating himself away to
avoid drawing the wrath of his father who became increasingly more erratic as his drinking
escalated.

After his father had died and Xander had returned unexpectedly to run the estate, he’d been
so busy with work, he hadn’t even noticed how dreary it was. The number of staff had
dwindled over the years as his father could no longer afford to pay them. As a result, the
faithful Mrs. Wheatley was one of the few people he spoke to outside of the tenants he was
desperately trying to make reparations to.

The arrival of Lucy had only compounded the misery in the house. She had always hated the
estate when she’d visited, feeling isolated and alone while grappling with being away from
her sister and Society for the first time in her life. When her betrayal and pregnancy had left
her no choice but to return, she’d withdrawn into herself. Even playing her beloved spinet
gave her no happiness. Her death shortly after giving birth had sunk the house deeper into
darkness.

Xander had become so accustomed to silence that conversation, laughter and music seemed
foreign and out of place to him. Yet clearly, his daughter and niece craved it. His daughter
was young and lively, outgoing and adventurous. She practically bubbled over when sharing
her lessons with Miss Heywood, an exuberance he’d never seen before in her. He
remembered Augusta had been much the same way at Leonora’s age. She’d been intelligent,
articulate and precocious…nothing like the sullen young woman he knew now. Was the
change in her demeanor something that had occurred in the years since he’d seen her or was
it a result of being trapped in the halls of a house so haunted by years of unhappiness with a
man who was too blind to see how miserable everyone was?

He pinched the bridge of his nose. The mirror that Miss Heywood had once again held up to
him had revealed an uncomfortable truth and issued a challenge that he was not yet sure he
was capable of accepting. He questioned everything about his ability to deviate from the path
he’d been treading for so long yet he felt an unsettling need to prove to her that he could do
just that. What power did this young woman have over him that he cared so much what she
thought of him? He had barely seen or spoken to her in the past week yet her opinion meant
more to him than he could apprehend.

Footsteps behind him told him that his housekeeper once again knew everything before he
could even say a word. He forced himself to shake away the doubts that were circling in his
mind, setting them aside until he had more time to assess them.

“It seems you owe me a shilling, Sir.” Mrs. Wheatley’s voice was smug.

Accepting defeat, he turned and gave her a wry smile as he handed her the shilling that had
resided in his waistcoat pocket all day.

Regardless of all that had occurred between himself and Miss Heywood within the last
quarter hour, he grudgingly admitted that it was money well spent.

*****

Despite the day only being half over, Charlotte gathered her things to leave. Given what had
happened, it would be best to start anew tomorrow.

Her mind was still whirling at the events that had transpired. She had been told by her father
more than once that voicing her strong opinions so openly would get her in trouble if she
wasn’t careful. Still, she refused to allow herself to be dismissed without expressing her
thoughts in defense of her two charges.

But Mr. Colbourne’s reaction had been nothing like what she expected. She expected that
most men in his position would have immediately reacted to her words with nothing less than
a dismissal for her impertinence, her speech clearly inappropriate for a governess to say to
her employer. Instead, he had let her speak and then told her to return the next day. And when
he’d asked her if she wished to resign her position, she’d almost thought there was a flicker
of disappointment that she might say yes in his eyes. Once again, she found herself
confounded by the man, unable to ascertain his true character.

“Why did you lie for me?”

Charlotte turned, taking in the repentant look on Augusta’s face as she appeared from behind
a tree along the drive. Clearly, she had been waiting expectantly for her to leave the house.
“Why did you lie to me?”

“I wanted you gone,” she explained, admitting that all of her efforts had been solely to get
Charlotte to resign or be dismissed.

“To be replaced by another governess? Then another?”

“My parents have been replaced. My home. My whole life.”

Charlotte’s heart ached for the girl. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose her
parents and be sent to live with an uncle and cousin she barely knew in a home that was kept
shuttered from the outside world. Her life as she knew it and the life she’d expected to have
were lost to her in a single moment and she was angry and frightened.

“Then forge a new life…a new path. That is what I am trying to do.”

“I didn’t lie to you,” Augusta insisted, her voice heavy with sadness. “I did use to play for my
parents. We did laugh.”

She extended what little hope and encouragement she could with a promise. “And you shall
again.”

*****

“Mr. Colbourne! Your boots are covered in mud!” Mrs. Wheatley exclaimed as he strode into
the kitchens from outside. He was probably looking for something to eat and drink after his
morning ride.

Xander stopped mid-stride and looked down guiltily at his feet. “My apologies, Mrs.
Wheatley,” he said, immediately walking over to a bench to take off his boots.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wheatley,” Miss Heywood entered the kitchens, her greeting cheerful.

“Good morning, Miss Heywood.” She found herself smiling despite her irritation with
Xander. The new governess had quickly become a bright spark in the house. Leonora was
besotted with the young woman and even Augusta’s sharp tongue had somewhat softened.
After the incident with the governess the day before, she’d even been surprisingly polite to
her uncle at dinner.

Miss Heywood began removing her coat, gloves and hat. “Good morning, Mr. Colbourne.”

Miss Heywood’s greeting of her employer was unsurprisingly more subdued. She had heard
the heated conversation between them the day before. It had come as a great surprise to her
that Xander hadn’t ended her employment after she had taken him to task for not being more
involved with his daughter and niece who both so desperately need his attention.

“Miss Heywood,” Xander grunted in greeting as he pulled off his boot. He stood, gathered
the offending footwear and headed to the boot room in his stocking feet.

Knowing Xander as she did, she poured him a glass of water and set an apple on the
worktable. He returned wearing a clean pair of boots and nodded his thanks as he reached for
the glass.

“By the way, Mrs. Wheatley,” Miss Heywood said suddenly, an innocent smile on her face, “I
was wondering if you collected on that shilling you’d wagered? The one on whether or not
I’d last a week as governess.”

Before she could respond, the distinctive sloshing sound of liquid being coughed
ungraciously back into a glass interrupted her as Xander choked on his water, coughing and
sputtering. He quickly placed the glass down on the table and covered his mouth with his
sleeve as he pounded on his chest with his opposite fist.
 “Are you alright, Sir?” Mrs. Wheatley asked, biting back a smile.

Clever girl .

So Miss Heywood had determined that the bet against her lasting the week had come from
none other than Xander himself. He’d had his chance to dismiss her - and it certainly would
have been within his right given the way she’d stood up to him for his overbearing behavior.
Instead, he’d let her stay on, forfeiting the shilling he’d bet her.

Xander waved a hand, dismissing her concern. “I’m fine,” he gasped, his face red. Clearly
embarrassed by having been caught betting against her…or by choking on his water, he
refused to meet either of their eyes, grabbed the apple from the table and quickly strode out
of the room. The sound of coughs and muttering following him down the hall.

Miss Heywood covered her mouth in silent laughter. “Very astute, Miss Heywood,” Mrs.
Wheatley struggled to keep a straight face.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Wheatley,” she laughed. “I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t resist.”

“No need to apologize to me,” she shook her head. “I had faith in you from the start.”

She’d had a good feeling about the young woman since she’d shown up at the door with
Leonora and Augusta. Her concern for Leonora’s wounded leg and insistence on personally
ensuring they arrived safely at home was a testament to her character. Her return to seek out
the governess job spoke to her initiative and confidence. And if the heated conversations
she’d heard between her and Xander were any indication, she was just as intelligent and
stubborn as he was. It was going to take someone who could stand up to him to let some light
into the dim rooms of Heyrick Park.

Chapter End Notes

We all know that sound of someone coughing their drink back up, right? For some
reason, I could just totally see this scene happening as she calls him out on his lack of
confidence in her.

Also, thanks for all the kind comments. I appreciate people taking time to read and post
such nice things.
 The Revelation
Chapter Notes

Another off-script chapter before we get into season2, episode 3 - AKA "the good stuff".

While the first scene of this was easy to write, I really toyed with the rest and I'm not
entirely happy with it but figured further tweaking wasn't going to necessarily help.
Again, I appreciate everyone's kind words.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The Revelation

A light knock on the door interrupted Xander as he stood gazing out his study window. He
was diligently avoiding the stack of bills on his desk and staring out the window seemed as
good a way as any other in accomplishing the task. He’d long ago determined that bills were
the bane of his existence…along with anything remotely sociable of course.

Looking up, he was surprised to find Miss Heywood at the door. He’d avoided her for the
past week or so, not seeing so much as a glimpse of her as he’d tried to keep to his study as
much as possible when not out riding the estate to meet with his tenants. He’d needed time to
absorb her words from the last time they’d spoken and had been embarrassed about being
caught wagering against her with Mrs. Wheatley, although she hadn’t seemed particularly
offended. She’d actually seemed rather amused…at least enough to catch him out on the
matter.

“Come in, Miss Heywood,” he sat down quickly at this desk, realizing it was ridiculous of
him to think a simple desk between them would somehow protect him from any further
chastisement on her part if she was so inclined. “What can I do for you?”

She approached somewhat tentatively for which he could not particularly blame her given his
own anxieties and their past history of conversations in this room. “I was hoping to take the
girls to the beach this afternoon to practice painting seascapes and discover what sea life we
can find in the rock pools. Of course I wanted to ask your permission beforehand since we
would be leaving the grounds.”

“You paint?”

“Not at all,” she admitted with a sheepish grin, any reticence at speaking with him
evaporating quickly. “We shall learn together.”

Xander bit back a huff of laughter at her unexpected admission. “Are you not meant to be
teaching , Miss Heywood?” he intentionally needled her, adopting his most know-it-all voice.
“I believe that was in the job description when I hired you as governess. In fact, I believe the
word governess itself means ‘ a woman who is employed to teach children’ .”

He couldn’t say exactly why he was instigating another round with her. In fact, if he had
stopped to consider his actions, it would have seemed like quite an ill-advised thing to do.

“We all learn by doing, Sir, at any age,” she countered cheerfully even as her eyes narrowed
slightly as she accepted his challenge. “And painting is something an accomplished young
lady would enjoy. Another skill to add to her repertoire, if you will, along with embroidery,
music, dancing, letter writing and paying visits to other accomplished young ladies of high
esteem.”

He leaned back against one arm of his chair and arched a brow at her. He found this sparring
oddly interesting and much preferable to her previous lectures. He’d be hard-pressed to recall
the last time he’d had such a conversation with anyone.

“As I hope we are able to encounter some other types of molluscs to satisfy Miss Colbourne’s
thirst for knowledge of all types of creatures,” she continued, warming to her subject, “it’s
quite possible that we shall not only be more accomplished upon our return, but also more
educated to the world around us. I do hope that meets with your approval, Sir.”

Xander briefly closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. It seemed she was going to continue
to remind him of how wrong his opinion on that topic was for some time yet. “Point taken,
Miss Heywood. I cede to your superior experience as a governess in comparison to my own.”

Her eyes danced even as he saw her pinch the back of her hand to keep from laughing. “How
very kind of you, Mr. Colbourne. I take it that we have your permission then?”

“Yes, very much so,” he mimed a tip of his imaginary hat to her. “Go. Paint. Gather more
molluscs for my daughter. Far be it from me to hold you back from becoming accomplished
and educated young ladies. Just do not drown please.”

“Thank you, Sir,” she bowed her head in acknowledgement but stopped suddenly at the door
and turned back, snapping her fingers as though she’d just had an inspired revelation.
“Cards!”

An exasperated sigh left his lips. “I beg your pardon?”

“Accomplished young ladies are also excellent at playing cards, Sir. Only appropriate games
of course.”

Leaning his chin on his hand, he put on his most serious expression. “With other
accomplished young ladies of high esteem, I presume?”

She positively beamed at him. “One should not expect anything less, Sir.”

Xander rolled his eyes and waved his hand at her to leave. “Good day, Miss Heywood.”

*****
“This hardly seems worth the effort,” Augusta assessed her painting with a critical eye. “It
looks like a bunch of muddy stripes under varying shades of blue stripes.”

“It’s no matter whether you’re particularly skilled at painting or not,” Charlotte countered.
“It’s the experience and the effort that are important. It’s something new to try as we enjoy a
lovely day out of the house.”

“Yes, a lovely day of getting sand in our shoes, in our hair and in our food as we pretend to
be great artistes whilst my cousin,” she scowled at Leo who was digging in the sand with a
stick, “digs holes like the feral child she is.”

Charlotte laughed, reminded of Mr. Colbourne’s use of the same word to describe his
daughter during their first meeting. If she hadn’t seen that brief moment of humor from him
during her interview, she’d have thought their conversation this morning to be an aberration.
Certainly, his unexpected display of humor had been a revelation indeed.

“Surely you can’t find everything about a picnic on the beach disagreeable,” Charlotte set
aside her own paints and brushes. “We’ve had a lovely lunch after all. You spent some time
reading. And Miss Colbourne has enjoyed finding shells and discovering various new
specimens in the rock pools.”

“And I painted a picture of a sea creature!” Leo added with a grunt as she scooped sand out
of the hole she’d dug, flinging sand around her.

“And a lovely sea creature it is too. We shall hang it in the schoolroom when we get back.”
She sat down on the blanket and pulled off her shoes and stockings. “Now, Miss Colbourne,
let’s go out into the waves a bit so we can wash some of that sand off your legs before we
head back.”

******

Mrs. Wheatley glanced at the small clock beside her and stood. She hoped the girls and their
governess were already on their way back from their picnic as it was nearing tea time.
Perhaps they had already arrived and she just hadn’t seen them yet. However, the foyer was
empty and there was no evidence they’d returned.

“Have the girls returned yet, Mrs. Wheatley?” Xander asked as he walked into the foyer from
his study.

“It doesn’t appear so, Sir. But I’m sure Miss Heywood has them well on their way.”

He frowned. “They should have been back by now.”

Having known Xander for his entire life she was well aware that his natural anxieties began
to rise when anyone was not where they were supposed to be at the expected time. And he
was particularly protective over anyone he felt was his responsibility, even if they were not
aware that he was constantly observing and ensuring all was well. From an early age, his
mouth had been firmly closed while his eyes were wide open.
He had given Miss Heywood permission to take them to the beach and she had no doubt that
she would never intentionally be late in bringing the girls back home. But given their past
history would Xander blame the governess for something so slight as being late and instigate
another battle of wills with her?

The minutes ticked by and Xander continued to stand in the foyer, waiting silently. His face
took on a countenance that gave away nothing of what he was feeling, causing her some
concern. Just as she felt compelled to suggest he go out to look for them, the doors opened
and the three of them entered.

“Miss Heywood…girls…welcome back,” she said quickly, relieved to see them. A second
glance showed her that not only was Leonora soaked from head to toe but Miss Heywood’s
dress was also wet from knee to hem. “What happened?”

They set their baskets and blankets down on the table and began removing their hats and
gloves. “Nothing some dry clothes won’t fix, Mrs. Wheatley,” the governess said cheerfully.
She spied Xander standing by the fireplace, and stilled, her smile fading slightly. It was clear
she was unsure what to think of his manner as he stood there, his eyes dark.

Augusta followed Miss Heywood’s gaze and bit her lip, clearly anticipating a less than
favorable response from her uncle from the unreadable look on his face. Even Leonora’s eyes
flickered between her father and Miss Heywood as she placed her hat on the table without a
word. The air in the room became thick as all four of them tried to discern what his reaction
would be.

“Hand me your coats,” she reached towards Augusta as Miss Heywood bent to help Leonora
with her buttons. “And then run upstairs and change into dry clothes, Miss Leonora. Miss
Heywood, the drawing room fire is lit. If you stand in front of it, I’m sure we can get you dry
in no time.”

She handed off the coats to a maid and quickly ushered Leonora towards the stairs and
Augusta and Miss Heywood into the drawing room, as Xander continued to stand silently
watching. She knew that if he raised his voice to the governess this time, she would be forced
to speak on her behalf.

******

Charlotte stood in front of the fireplace, holding her dress out to help it dry. It only took a few
minutes for Leo to return wearing a clean dress, her wet hair rubbed dry with a towel and
neatly brushed. She and Augusta sat down together on the settee, a sense of anticipation in
the room.

She eyed Mr. Colbourne warily as he entered the room, his face expressionless. Was he angry
at her simply because they’d been a little late? She took a deep breath and turned her back to
the fire, telling herself that no matter what happened, she must remain calm.

“I’m interested, Miss Heywood, in hearing how the two of you,” he waved a hand in their
general direction, “came to be in such a state?”
She was reassured that his voice was calm without a hint of anger. “It was nothing strictly out
of the ordinary when it comes to being at the beach, Mr. Colbourne,” she said as pleasantly as
possible. “Miss Colbourne was wading and was knocked over by an unexpectedly large wave
while bending over to look at something in the water. I pulled her out easily enough. I can
assure you that, while wet, she is quite unharmed.”

“I believe I specifically told you not to drown this morning, Miss Heywood.”

Immediately, she recognized his subtle teasing tone and found herself smiling as she had that
morning. She quickly followed his lead, hoping to set the girls at ease. “As you can see that
Miss Colbourne is in fact happily breathing, Sir, I believe that your instructions were
followed quite precisely.”

The corners of his mouth turned up briefly as he rocked on his heels, hands behind his back.
“I’m sure Leonora was quite overcome with fright,” he said with a very tongue-in-cheek
demeanor.

Now he was making jokes? Was this the same man who had been ready to dismiss her a mere
week ago for playing the spinet?

Mrs. Wheatley raised her brows in surprise, apparently astonished by his unusual display of
good humor.

“I wasn’t frightened, Father,” Leo insisted from her place on the settee, misunderstanding her
father’s use of sarcasm. “Miss Heywood is quite brave so I knew I would be safe no matter
what.”

His brow furrowed slightly, his attention suddenly turned to his daughter. “Why wouldn’t you
have been safe? Are you not telling me something?” All signs of levity left his eyes.

“Of course not, Sir,” Charlotte said quickly, trying to reassure him, “There was no danger.
Miss Colbourne was only a few feet away from me at all times.” She looked to Augusta for
confirmation.

“It’s true Uncle,” Augusta admitted cautiously. “Leo is just being dramatic. There was no
reason for Miss Heywood to be brave as nothing untoward happened.”

“But she is brave,” Leo argued. “She saved me from the horse at the parade so I knew she
wouldn’t let any harm come to me when the wave knocked me over.”

Charlotte bit back a groan. If the story of what had occurred at the parade had not previously
been shared with Mr. Colbourne, now was hardly the time. She assumed the girls had kept
the story of the parade from him in order to minimize their punishment after already going
against his wishes by even attending the parade to begin with. Learning that his daughter had
been inches away from being severely injured or even killed was certain to upset him.

The mood in the room shifted in an instant. “What are you referring to? What horse at the
parade?” Mr. Colbourne’s eyes widened as his gaze jumped back and forth between his
daughter, niece and herself.
Augusta glared at her cousin who suddenly seemed to have become quite reluctant to speak.

“It was really nothing, Mr. Colbourne,” Charlotte insisted quickly. Perhaps she had been too
soon in her assessment of his mood. “Miss Colbourne was following the soldiers and…a
horse was startled and…and she fell and hurt her leg.” She hesitated, aware that if she gave a
more detailed description of what had occurred, he was very likely to get upset at his
daughter and niece.

Clearly sensing that he wasn’t being told the complete story, he placed his hands on his hips
and gave them all a firm look. “I would like a complete understanding of the full incident that
introduced you to my daughter and niece, Miss Heywood.”

Leo jumped up from the settee. “It was my fault, Father. Please don’t dismiss Miss Heywood!
She saved my life and my leg is all better now!”

Augusta paled, Mrs. Wheatley raised her eyes to the ceiling, Mr. Colbourne’s mouth fell open
and Charlotte closed her eyes and sighed. How had they gone from discussing Leo’s dunking
in the sea to this?

“Miss Heywood?” The muscles in his jaw ticked.

She could see his patience was strained to the limit. “Miss Colbourne darted out in front of a
horse and was knocked down. It reared up and I pulled her out of the way. She had a gash on
her leg so I carried her to the Parker’s home which was nearby so she could be treated. I then
brought them back here in their carriage. That is all that happened.”

“We almost got trampled,” Leo added softly. Augusta hissed a warning to her to be quiet.

Mr. Colbourne began pacing, raking his fingers through his hair. Charlotte exchanged looks
with Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley, but neither seemed to know what to expect next. Finally he
stopped and turned towards her.

“You saved Leonora from being trampled. And then you brought her home on your own and
then returned to seek a position as governess. Is that correct?” He looked as though he might
be sick.

Charlotte felt heat rise up her neck and cheeks. “I suppose so…”

He grasped the back of his neck with both hands and strode quickly from the room, clearly
overwhelmed. But by what exactly…anger, shock…she did not know.

“Is Father angry?” Leo looked back and forth between the housekeeper and governess.

Mrs. Wheatley tried to reassure the child. “I don’t believe your father is angry, Miss
Colbourne,” she said quietly. “I believe he simply does not know what to say after learning
about Miss Heywood’s heroics at the parade.”

“It was hardly heroic,” Charlotte protested weakly.

“Father’s not going to get rid of Miss Heywood, is he?” Leo’s eyes began to well with tears.
“I don’t want her to leave.”

Augusta glared at her cousin. “Then you should not have brought up the parade!”

“Miss Markham, please,” Charlotte begged. “Now is not the time.”

“Miss Heywood has done nothing wrong,” Mrs. Wheatley assured Leo. “And your father is a
fair man.” She waved towards the table. “Now, why don’t you sit down and have some tea.
I’m sure everything will be fine.”

“Perhaps I should go speak with him…” Charlotte looked towards the study. She didn’t relish
another argument with him however. He’d been in good humor that morning but it was clear
his mood was no longer so light-hearted.

She sympathized with the man. There was no doubt in her mind that learning his daughter
had been in danger had been quite a shock to him. She knew her own parents would have
been at a complete loss if placed in the same situation. The question remained that when
faced with such news, would he be upset that he’d not been told the complete story of what
had occurred or would he be more inclined to gratitude?

“Give him some time, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley handed her a cup of tea. “It’s not
every day that he learns his governess saved his daughter’s life.”

*****

Xander sat in a chair before the fireplace staring at the unlit logs lying ready for a flame to
ignite them. He heard her footsteps approaching and turned his head towards the door before
she stepped into view. He’d been expecting her sooner or later.

“Please come in, Miss Heywood.”

She entered the room, stopping just inside the doorway, her hands clasped in front of her. A
faint salt stain circling her dress just above the knees from where she’d waded into the ocean
to pull Leonora from beneath the waves caught his eye and a shudder went through him as he
recalled his words earlier that day telling her not to let anyone drown.

She waited for him to speak, once again as tentative as she had been that morning. He sighed.
Were they always to be treading on eggs around one another?

He was well aware they’d all been watching him to see how he’d react to them arriving late,
soaked with sea water. Perhaps they’d expected him to be angry once again with Miss
Heywood and perhaps even finally find reason to dismiss her. A twinge of guilt had rippled
through him when he’d realized they all expected the worst from him; even Mrs. Wheatley
who’d known him since birth.

Had he really become so irrational and quick to jump to anger in their eyes?

There was no doubt he’d been somewhat anxious when he saw they were later than expected
but he had not yet reached the point of concern when they’d walked through the door. He
hadn’t even been upset to learn that Leonora had been doused by a wave. It had happened
countless times to him on his own trips to the beach growing up. It was a part of growing up
by the sea. It had been easy to picture his daughter getting knocked over only to be promptly
plucked from the ocean by her governess. It seemed very much in keeping with what he knew
of Miss Heywood’s strong-willed spirit and he’d been mildly amused at the image it conjured
in his head.

His feeble attempt at resurrecting the easy conversation they’d shared that morning hadn’t
gone unnoticed. She’d readily replied, seemingly relieved that he was at least trying to not be
so taciturn. But the light-hearted tone between them had quickly ended when his daughter
had unwittingly revealed the true circumstances of her first meeting with Miss Heywood only
a few weeks before.

Xander had not been prepared to learn that his daughter had required saving in earnest and
was quite relieved that Miss Heywood hadn’t immediately followed him to his study. He’d
needed the time to come to terms with what he’d just learned. Knowing how close he’d come
to another tragedy in his life had almost brought him to his knees right there in the drawing
room. His stomach had churned at the thought, bile rising in his throat. Had he lost
Leonora…after losing her mother…he did not know if he could survive such a thing
happening.

He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, pushing the dark thoughts away. “Why did you not
say what happened at the parade that day?”

She took a small step forward. “I did not know I needed to say anything. For all I knew, Miss
Colbourne and Miss Markham had relayed the story to you. And it hardly seemed relevant
during our interview.”

“You didn’t find it relevant that you saved Leonora from being trampled?” Her answer
surprised him.

“No, Sir, I did not,” she insisted. “I was here to interview for a position as governess, not to
ask a favor in repayment for doing something anyone should have done for a child in
danger.”

He could not fault her for that. In fact, it only earned her his respect.

He rubbed a hand across his mouth. “And did anyone else place themselves in danger that
day for my daughter?” he asked pointedly.

She blushed. “I can hardly speak for what others may or may not have done.”

As stunned as he’d been by the revelation that his governess had saved his daughter from
being trampled by a horse at that damned military parade, he was not at all surprised by her
absolute humility when it came to admitting what she’d done. As little as he really knew
about her, it somehow seemed completely in character that she had been so selfless as to
place herself in danger for a child she didn’t even know. She was just as strong in action as
she was in words it seemed. The woman before him had proven herself to be quite a force to
be reckoned with.
 “I owe my daughter’s life to your quick actions, Miss Heywood.” His voice was barely more
than a whisper.

“You owe me nothing, Sir,” she raised her chin, her eyes taking on a fierce attitude. “I do not
wish you to feel beholden to me in any way.”

Xander studied her for a long moment, knowing that arguing with her would be pointless.
“We shall have to agree to disagree, Miss Heywood, as we have already been wont to do on
just about everything.”

She tipped her head in unspoken acknowledgement. “It appears so, Mr. Colbourne.”

“Suffice it to say, if we’ve learned anything today, it’s that Leonora is not yet well versed in
sarcasm,” he shook his head, chagrined.

“I shall add that to her list of lessons, Mr. Colbourne.”

Her gentle smile helped to somewhat ease the tension he was feeling. She turned to leave.

“Miss Heywood,” she looked back from the doorway, soft brown eyes meeting his. “Thank
you.”

Chapter End Notes

The original, 18th-century version of "walking on eggshells" was to “tread on eggs,”

which the Oxford English Dictionary defines as “to walk warily, as on delicate ground.”
The only two citations for the whole-egg version in the OED are from the same author,
Roger North, and appear in biographical works he published around 1734. The eggshell
version showed up more than a century later, and has more examples cited. The earliest
citation given is from Wilkie Collins’s suspense novel The Woman in White (1860):
“With that woman for my enemy … I walk, in your English phrase, upon egg-shells!”
 The Horse & The Hunt
Chapter Summary

The one in which poor Xander keeps getting hit over the head with his inadequacies by
an intelligent, beautiful woman. Chin up dude, you get better in S3 and you have great
hair.

Chapter Notes

As always, all credit for the scripted material from the show belongs to the writers of
Sanditon and thank you for the wonderful comments. The level of writing on this site is
amazing and I'm humbled that anyone thinks my little story is good in comparison.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The Horse & The Hunt

“Leo!”

Miss Heywood’s voice carried down the hallway into the kitchens before she appeared in the
doorway.

So the youngest Colbourne had finally disappeared on her latest governess.

Mrs. Wheatley raised her eyes from the newspaper she was reading. “She will be out in the
grounds, Miss Heywood.”

“Well, it shouldn’t take long to find her then,” she said, her tone resigned. “It’s only a
thousand acres.” She quickly left, heading towards the servants entrance.

Shaking her head, Mrs. Wheatley turned the page. She certainly hoped Miss Heywood did a
better job locating young Leonora than the previous governesses had.

The last time the child had disappeared when she was supposed to be in lessons, the newly
hired governess had been in near hysterics by tea time thanks to Augusta matter of factly
advising the woman that her uncle would hold her personally responsible should her cousin
not be immaculately clean and in her seat at the dining table by the time the bell for luncheon
was rung. When Leonora had happily strolled into the school room hours later, covered in
mud, a frog in one hand and a snake in the other, the poor woman had promptly packed her
trunk and left before Xander had even known his daughter had been missing.
Chuckling to herself, Mrs. Wheatley hoped today would be another test that Miss Heywood
would pass with flying colors.

*****

Searching the extensive grounds of Heyrick Park for Leo had not been in Charlotte’s plans
for the day. Yet she’d had no other choice but to hunt for her after encountering a rather ill-
humored Augusta alone in the school room, haughtily declaring en français that the younger
girl had disappeared when she’d inquired as to her whereabouts.

Augusta’s words echoed through her head. She had little doubt that the small glimpse of her
inner thoughts regarding her uncle were her true feelings and it broke her heart a little…for
both grieving young woman and her brooding, detached guardian. She did not know if
Augusta had meant the comment to be kept in confidence or if she hoped Charlotte would
somehow convey her feelings to her uncle on her behalf and it left her with a sense of dread.
For sharing Augusta’s words would surely cause her uncle another round of painful self-
reflection at her prompting. The man was likely quite wary of her at this point.

Determined not to let the morning’s unexpected obstacles overcome her, she searched for Leo
around the pond and the surrounding trees before she headed down the path towards the
stables. The sound of a horse snorting and stomping angrily made her both nervous and gave
her hope that Leo might be hiding amongst the horses. She stopped in her tracks at the sight
of Mr. Colbourne, without coat or waistcoat, trying to calm the black gelding he’d been
riding the day they’d met.

“Easy! Whoa!” He raised his arms to the horse as the animal reared, continuing to snort
angrily. “Hey…hey, hey,” he tried to sooth him but the horse kicked out his leg defiantly.

He turned to reach for a bridle and spotted her standing there. “Careful, keep your distance,”
he warned.

Approaching the horse again, the animal charged past him, knocking him to the side. He
stopped just outside the stable, breathing heavily. Mr. Colbourne hastily jumped to his feet
and moved towards the gelding.

“What’s his name?” she asked as she fell into step next to him.

“Hannibal. He took fright at the sound of gunfire earlier. I cannot seem to calm him.” He held
out his arm to stop her as the horse continued to stomp and toss his head.

As he lowered his head to unclasp the bridle in his hands, Charlotte approached Hannibal
slowly and calmly, just as her father had taught her. She’d always had a way with animals,
including horses. Her father had once proudly proclaimed she could calm any beast she came
in contact with if given the chance.

“Miss Heywood,” Mr. Colbourne’s voice rose urgently as he realized what she was doing.
“Miss Heywood!”
She reached for the horse’s nose. “Shhh, shhh Hannibal,” she shushed him gently. He settled
right away, letting her stroke his velvety head.

Mr. Colbourne stood, mouth agape for a moment before slowly approaching. He raised the
bridle, slipping it over Hannibal’s head with her help. He looked at her, his eyes full of
surprise, respect and something else that made her stomach flip unexpectedly. For a moment,
it was as though he’d never seen her before.

He pressed his forehead to his Hannibal’s, shushing the horse gently, his eyes meeting hers
again. His brow furrowed as if he was trying to work out some problem in his head. Reaching
for the bridle, he indicated she should walk with him. “Come on.”

*****

Xander led Hannibal to his stall, ensuring he had feed and water while desperately trying to
suppress the unexpected feelings roaring through his body. Watching her calmly approach a
distraught Hannibal and have him immediately settle under her gentle hands had stunned him
to his core. Her quiet strength touched off a fluttering in his stomach and sent his heart racing
in a way he’d never felt before.

Logically, his brain told him that his visceral reaction was completely normal. She was a
vibrant, intelligent, beautiful woman. There was no way to dispute that. It wasn’t as if he
hadn’t noticed her appearance before. He was not blind after all. Any man would find her
attractive. Her ease with Hannibal had simply unexpectedly impressed him and appealed to
his personal nature. It was simple human biology, nothing more. It didn’t mean anything.

Of course it didn’t.

He knew he couldn’t ignore MIss Heywood while he tried to decipher the foreign feelings
that had him so unnerved. Years of experience allowed him to push his emotions into a dark
recess in his head to be examined at another time. Drawing a deep breath, he turned to thank
her, only to find her gone.

Startled that she had walked away without a word, he quickly grabbed his waistcoat and coat
from where he’d left them hanging on the end of the stall. Leaving the stables, he found her
walking determinedly down the path. He shoved his arms into his waistcoat and hurried after
her.

“Miss Heywood!” he ran to catch up with her, pulling on his coat at the same time. “Thank
you,” he said as he fell in stride with her. “That was bravely done.”

“I was raised around horses,” she admitted, not slowing her pace.

“Perhaps you can use those same skills in taming my wayward niece and daughter.”

She stopped, turning towards him. “The skills required are not so different. Half the battle is
winning their trust.”
“Indeed,” he conceded, knowing that she was undoubtedly correct. He grudgingly admitted
that when it came to her charges, she already knew how to communicate with them far better
than he did. It dawned on him suddenly that she was supposed to be teaching the girls as they
spoke. “Where are they now anyway?”

A look of awkward embarrassment crossed her face, quite a different attitude than her usual
confidence. “Miss Colbourne has apparently decided to skip lessons this morning,” she
admitted, chagrined. “Mrs. Wheatley said she’d be out on the grounds. I was looking for her
when I came across you with Hannibal. When I heard the noise, I thought she might be in the
stables.”

He suppressed a smile, knowing he shouldn’t be amused by Leonora’s antics. She frequently

ran off when she was supposed to be in lessons and he was actually surprised it had taken this
long before she’d disappeared on Miss Heywood’s watch. He knew what it was like to dread
lessons with his own governess growing up and could hardly blame the child for preferring to
be out of doors, exploring. Many a governess had left as a result of his disappearing daughter
and he knew there was little chance even the stalwart Miss Heywood would be able to find
her.

It would be rather ungentlemanly of him to leave her on her own with little chance of success
and it wasn’t as though he couldn’t set aside any work he had to help. “She does that from
time to time.” He began walking down the path, turning when he realized she wasn’t
following him. “Come on, we’ll find her in no time.”

*****

Charlotte lengthened her stride to keep up with Mr. Colbourne’s longer legs as he led her
through the open grounds of the estate park. She’d been quite startled when he’d volunteered
to join her in looking for his daughter and she was feeling somewhat confused about the man
walking next to her.

She glanced at him as they walked. He seemed much more relaxed than she’d ever seen him,
the stiffness she was accustomed to seeing in his bearing gone as he strode confidently and at
complete ease. His lengthy daily rides now made more sense. Most at home outdoors and in
the presence of his beloved horse, he was clearly in his element. Like her own walks along
the cliffs when she needed time to think, riding Hannibal was his solace.

Seeing him interact so closely with his horse had shown her a very different side of him. His
obvious tenderness and concern for Hannibal was quite the opposite from how he acted with
Leo and Augusta, whom he seemed to actively go out of his way to avoid. It was evident he
felt more comfortable in the presence of animals than people but clearly he also had the
capacity for warmth and kindness if he only learned to express it to his own family. She did
not doubt that he cared for the girls given the way he’d begun to take to heart her own words
but he did not seem willing to express his feelings to them.

Realizing that they had been walking for some time, she broke the silence between them.
“Honestly, Mr. Colbourne, I can look for Leonora myself. I don’t wish to put you in any
trouble.”
“It’s a bit late for that,” he said dryly, not seeming at all upset that he was unexpectedly out
hunting for his errant daughter instead doing his own work. “Besides, I grew up on this land.
I know all the best hiding places. You’ve no hope of finding her on your own.”

She looked up as the distant sound of thunder rumbled. If they didn’t locate Leo soon, they
would all be quite wet.

“You said you were raised with horses?”

His sociable initiation of a conversation surprised her. “Yes, on my parent’s farm. In

Willingden. It’s a small village a couple of hours away.”

“And you have eleven brothers and sisters?”

“Yes, I’m the oldest of twelve. There are seven girls and five boys.”

“You must have had an enjoyable childhood with so many brothers and sisters to play with.”
He sounded almost wistful. She recalled he’d mentioned having a brother and wondered if
they were close.

“I did,” she smiled fondly, thinking of her family farm. “I admit I was a little like Miss
Colbourne growing up. We were always outdoors playing games, climbing trees, fishing and
hunting.”

Now he seemed surprised. “You hunt?”

“I’m a farmer’s daughter from a large family and quite a good shot, Sir,” she laughed at his
shocked look. “I almost always hit my mark.”

“Well now, that doesn’t surprise me, Miss Heywood,” he grinned. “You certainly hit your
marks when aiming at me.”

She felt her face flush but before she could respond fat raindrops began falling around them.
She blinked hard as one splashed on her head. Looking up, the sky was suddenly blocked by
the dark fabric of Mr. Colbourne’s coat being held over her head. She peered up at him,
surprised. Briefly, she thought to refuse but quickly thought better of it as she reached up to
take the coat from him. She was certain he would refuse to accept if she declined his
gentlemanly act. “Thank you, Sir.”

The rain began to fall quite hard. “Over towards those trees, Miss Heywood,” he indicated,
raising his voice above the patter of the drops hitting all around them.

Together they moved quickly towards the cover the trees would afford them. “I suggest you
go back to the house, Miss Heywood,” Mr. Colbourne jogged under a large aged oak.
“There’s no need to stay out here.”

“It’s only a little rain,” she protested.

“It would be a pity for you to be struck by lightning,” he said light-heartedly. “Governesses,
as we know, are not easy to come by.”
Taking refuge under the canopy of leaves, she lowered his coat and shook the water off it as
he peered into the branches overhead. Augusta’s words from that morning came back to her.
Never one to shy away from speaking her mind to him, she spoke before she could change
her mind.

“Mr. Colbourne,” she held out his coat. He walked back to her and took it from her
outstretched hand. “Might I make an observation?”

He smiled. “You’ve already made the observation,” his dry humor once again on display.
“You might as well share it.”

Charlotte knew that she was about to once again bring to light something that he would not
be pleased to hear. She hoped that by now he understood that she only wanted the best for
him and the girls.

“It strikes me as curious that a man might take such care of his horse, while taking pains to
avoid his children.”

He immediately lowered his eyes, clearly uncomfortable. “Augusta is not my child,” he said
quickly.

“She’s all too aware of that. She thinks you consider her presence here an intolerable
burden.”

She’d caught him off guard. “Those were her exact words?” he looked as though she’d struck
him without warning.

“Well, she spoke them in French, but yes.” He lowered his head, considering her words. It
pained her but she pressed on. “There is no man alive I admire as much as my father. And yet
the girls hardly know you.”

A flicker of something indiscernible crossed his face as he considered her words. “Perhaps in
time you’ll come to realize that’s for the best.”

His words startled her.

Did he really believe that his daughter and niece were better off not knowing the man he
was…his true character? What could make a man believe that he was not worth knowing…or
worse yet, not worth loving? Was this why he kept himself so distant from those around him?

He turned away, walking around the broad trunk of the tree. Reaching down, he picked Leo’s
hat up from the ground. “Leonora,” he looked up into the tree, “you are discovered.” He
handed the hat to her, his previous light-hearted demeanor now gone, his eyes shuttered. He
had closed himself off once more. “I shall leave her in your hands. Try not to lose her again.”

*****

Mrs. Wheatley shook her head in exasperation as Xander walked into the kitchens. For some
reason, he was carrying his coat instead of wearing it and his shirt and waistcoat were
clinging to him, soaked from the rain. He usually returned much earlier from his morning
ride and she wondered if he’d come across Miss Heywood or Miss Leonora while he was out
on the grounds as she’d yet to see them return and she’d been concerned when the rain had
started.

She gave him a disapproving look as she held her hands out for his coat. “Did you not think
to put your coat on when the rain started, Mr. Colbourne?”

He peeled off his waistcoat, adding it to her outstretched arms. “I leant it to Miss Heywood
once the rain started,” he explained. “As I’m sure you would have told me to do if given the
opportunity. I do sometimes recall the manners you taught me as a child.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. There was something oddly strained about his tone of voice.
“So you came across Miss Heywood, did you? I trust you helped her find Miss Leonora?”

“Of course,” he sat down and began pulling off his boots. “We found her up in that big tree I
always used to climb as a child.”

“Did they come in through the front door? They can’t be any less wet and muddy than you
are.”

Xander had the grace to look embarrassed. “I left them at the tree,” he admitted, refusing to
meet her eye. “I assume they’ll wait until the rain stops before walking back.”

“Alexander Colbourne! You left your daughter and governess out in the rain under a tree?” A
guilty look passed across his face. She narrowed her eyes, suspicious of his motivation to
escape the company of his daughter and Miss Heywood immediately after locating Leonora
when he’d just spent some length of time looking for her. “Did you have another argument
with Miss Heywood?”

When he slumped on the bench and looked up at her with those eyes of his, she was
reminded of the little boy who’d spent countless hours in this room with her. “If we’re being
accurate, Mrs. Wheatley, our prior conversations can hardly be considered arguments when
Miss Heywood is the one doing all of the talking while I simply sit there and let her tell me
how wrong I am.”

She bit back a smile. At least he was able to admit it to himself , she thought. “And what did
she say you were doing wrong this time?”

Xander sighed and raked his wet hair back off his forehead. “Were you aware that Augusta
believes that I think her presence here to be an intolerable burden?”

Mrs. Wheatley sat down next to him. “Miss Heywood told you this?”

“She said they were Augusta’s exact words, albeit spoken in French.” The expression on his
face was one of guilt and disgust with himself.

“You know as well as I do that Miss Augusta has lashed out since she arrived as an
expression of her grief over the loss of her parents.”
“It’s more than that,” he shook his head. “I haven’t done anything to make her feel welcome.
It’s no wonder she hates it here…just like her aunt did.”

She bit back what she wanted to say about the late Mrs. Colbourne, knowing it would help no
one. “It’s always been your nature to keep to yourself,” she said carefully. “But you need not
hide away from your own niece and daughter. You have so little family, Xander, you’d do
best to remember that. Making some small changes that show the girls that you care about
their happiness as well as their well-being will go a long way. Hiring Miss Heywood was a
good first step but she can’t do it alone. This is your house and they are your responsibility.”

He nodded but didn’t speak. She patted his arm and stood. “You should change into dry
clothes and I’ll have some tea brought to the study for you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.” He moved to leave and then paused for a moment. “Would you
please see if you can locate someone to tune the spinet?”

*****

The brief summer rain had slowed to a sprinkle when Charlotte determined they could
undertake the trek back to the house. She held her dress as high as she could in an attempt to
keep it as dry as possible as they walked through the wet grass. Not for the first time, she
envied Leo her short britches.

“Can we stop at the pond and look for tadpoles, Miss Heywood?” Leo asked eagerly.

“I’m afraid we’re already quite late for lessons this morning, Miss Colbourne,” she grinned at
the girl. “Whyever did you run off anyway? I thought you liked lessons.”

“Augusta said we were learning French today and I hate French. It’s boring.”

“Hmm, I suppose I can understand if it’s not your favorite subject to learn but we must study
a variety of subjects so that we can find the things that do interest us. And someday you may
wish to travel to France to learn all about the plants and animals they have there and then
knowing how to speak French will be quite useful, won’t it?”

“I suppose,” Leo sounded doubtful. “But I’d much rather learn about frogs and snails and
battles.”

“How about we compromise?” Charlotte suggested. “We will work on French this morning
before luncheon and then we’ll work on our history this afternoon. I’ll wager you've never
heard of King Leo!”

*****

Sitting down to dinner that evening, Xander was determined that the meal would be a
pleasant one. He’d spent quite some time during the afternoon reflecting on his conversations
with his governess and housekeeper, both of whom he knew had the girls’ best interests at
heart. This evening, he would be patient and engaged during the meal rather than tuning out
any conversation the girls had as he ate as quickly as he politely could so he might seek the
refuge of his study once more.

Hearing that his niece believed that he thought her a burden had cut him deeply. He’d never
intended for her to think she wasn’t welcome at Heyrick Park. Certainly, he’d never expected
to become her guardian, especially after having little contact with her parents after Lucy’s
death. But he’d accepted his responsibility without enmity and had never resented having her
under his care in any way. He simply did not know how to have a relationship with her. Or
with anyone for that matter.

Even after all these months of having Augusta in the house, he had little idea what to even
attempt to discuss with her given that her attitude was generally less than congenial. Most
evenings the responses from both girls were short and indifferent, if not downright curt.
Although recently, Leo’s replies had been much more enthusiastic thanks to her lessons with
Miss Heywood and he was counting on her boundless exuberance to help him start a
conversation.

“What did Miss Heywood teach you today, Leonora?” Xander asked his usual question as he
placed his napkin in his lap.

“We talked about where our names came from. It was very interesting,” she said around a
mouthful of potatoes.

Ignoring her dubious manners for the moment, Xander looked questioningly at his daughter
and then towards Augusta, hoping she’d expound on the topic as sometimes Leo’s answers
made sense only to Leo. “Names? How does one have a lesson on names?”

Leo’s straightened in her chair, eager to share her knowledge. “Did you know that there was a
king of Sparta named Leonidas? He led three hundred Spartans in the Battle of Thermo…
Thermop,” she frowned, struggling with the word.

“Thermopylae?” he suggested, smiling now that the name lesson made a little more sense. He
was pleasantly surprised by his daughter’s enthusiasm for Greek history as well as Miss
Heywood’s knowledge of the subject. It was a personal favorite of his. Her use of Leo’s name
and love of all things battle oriented to engage her in a history lesson was both creative and
impressive.

“Yes!” Leo nodded fervently. “It was in 480 B.C. during the second Greco-Persian War. And
Augusta’s name came from the Roman emperor, Augustus!”

“I do not think that is why my parents chose my name,” Augusta countered, rolling her eyes.

“Probably not,” Xander chuckled. “And I’m sorry to disappoint you, Leo, but you were
named after my grandmother, Leonora.” He looked back and forth between the girls. “Were
you reading this from a book?” He was well aware of the books Miss Heywood had
borrowed from the library and she hadn’t removed any on Greek history.

“No,” Leo shook her head. “Miss Heywood just knew it already. She’s very smart.”
 Augusta poked at the food on her plate. “She is not that smart,” she muttered, refusing to give
credit to the governess.

“You’re just upset that she knew something you didn’t already know,” Leo shot her cousin a
superior look. She turned her attention back to him. “Did you know that Alexander the Great
was the king of Macedon?”

“I did indeed,” he nodded. “My mother loved reading about history and thought Alexander
was a fine name.” For a moment, he recalled sitting at his mother’s knee listening as she told
him stories of the famous commander.

His daughter’s blue eyes were shining with enthusiasm. He’d never seen her so engaged in a
lesson before. Even the water snails hadn’t brought her this much excitement. Miss
Heywood’s teaching methods, while unique, were certainly keeping Leonora interested and
apparently eager to learn more. He readily admitted that it was far more interesting to hear
her happily discussing The Battle of Thermopylae than it was for either of them to feign
interest in her embroidery lessons.

“And the name Charles means petite which Miss Heywood thought was…what did she say,
Augusta?”

“Appropriate,” Augusta sighed. “You really must learn to listen more closely.”

Xander blinked rapidly. He was admittedly now confused as Leo seemed to be jumping from
one topic to another. Was this still part of their name lesson? The only Charles he knew was
his father, Charles Colbourne, a name neither Leo or Augusta was likely to bring up in a
history lesson as he avoided mentioning the man at all costs.

“Charles? Which Charles are you referring to?”

“For Miss Heywood. Her name is Charlotte which comes from Charles and she said that was
appropriate because it means petite and she’s not very tall. She told us about Princess
Charlotte who died in 1817. She was the daughter of the King. There are a bunch of kings
named Charles though. Did you know Miss Heywood’s name was Charlotte, Father?”

He felt the same fluttering in his chest he’d experienced when he’d watched her that morning
with Hannibal and it nearly took his breath away. Charlotte.

“No, Leo,” he swallowed hard. “I did not.”

Chapter End Notes

Of course there's a real possibility that Xander would have been fully aware of
Charlotte's Christian name but it's never spoken to or around him up to this point in the
show (E3). So I'm going to pretend he didn't in fact know her name although she DID
tell Augusta and Leo her name in E1. She also hasn't said her name to Mrs. Wheatley on
screen at this point.
 The Wildflowers & The Warning
Chapter Summary

An unexpected gift and an unexpected warning give Charlotte pause.

As always, the scripted content and characters from the show are the creation of the
Sanditon writers and do not belong to me.

Chapter Notes

I'm taking liberties a little with the timeline of S2 from here on out to add extra scenes as
the show has episodes 3-6 taking place over about a week's time and I'm stretching it
just a little.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The Wildflowers & The Warning

“You look tired, Sir,” Mrs. Wheatley eyed Xander critically as she delivered the post to his
study. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” he nodded as he looked over the letters in his hand. “I simply did not sleep well
last night.”

She frowned. It had been some weeks since his last sleepless night and she’d hoped that his
recent good humor was an indication that some of the burden he carried on his shoulders had
eased. “The same nightmare again?”

He shook his head, but he would not look at her. “No, it was not bad dreams that kept me
awake. Merely…thoughts I could not stop from swirling in my head.”

Mrs. Wheatley was sure she saw a hint of pink redden his cheeks. A sudden thought entered
her head. I wonder …

“Perhaps a walk would help clear your head. The fresh air might help you feel more awake.”

As he looked out the window, she knew her suggestion would be enough to draw him
outdoors. He’d never been one to pass up the opportunity to spend time out in the grounds
walking amongst the trees instead of sitting behind a desk.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

 *****

Charlotte spread the blanket across the grass beneath the tree. She hoped that bringing the
girls outdoors would relieve some of Leo’s boundless energy and perhaps…just perhaps
bring some cheer to Augusta. Although they’d come to an unspoken agreement and her
condescending remarks had ceased for the most part, Charlotte knew she still wasn’t happy.

They settled on the blanket as Leo ran towards the pond to pick wildflowers. Augusta
retrieved a sketch book from the baskets. Her lesson of the day was to draw the flowers her
cousin collected…a lesson she’d surprisingly not been adamantly against.

Leo returned quickly as flowers grew in abundance around them. “What do we call these
ones?” She extended the pink petaled flowers she had picked towards her.

“Ooo, let me see?” Charlotte wracked her brain, trying to recall the Latin name. “Those
are…”

“ Agrostemma githago . Corncockle,” Augusta replied. “It’s a common weed.”

“What about this?” Leo plucked a blue flower from the bunch in her hand.

“ Aquilegia vulgaris . Columbine,” she said quickly. “As you see Miss Heywood, there is
little you can teach me.”

Charlotte reached into the basket next to her and began pulling out the luncheon Mrs.
Wheatley had packed for them. “Where did you learn that?”

Augusta shrugged. “My mother.”

“What was she like?”

“Pretty. Kind,” Augusta said, her words taking on a mournful tone. “Sad.”

Hoping to draw the girl out, Charlotte prodded her gently. “Why sad?”

“She had a twin,” she explained. “Leonora’s mother. But after Aunt Lucy died, it was as if
my mother lost half of herself. Especially given the circumstances.”

Gone was the condescending tone she so often used when speaking. Charlotte could hear the
sadness and pain in her voice and she suspected that it had been many months since Augusta
had spoken about either of her parents to anyone.

Her thoughts went to the painting of the beautiful young woman with blue eyes above the
mantle and Arthur’s story that her death had never been explained. “What happened? No one
ever seems to speak of her.”

“That is because my uncle cannot bear to hear her name.”

“Father! Look, it’s Father!” Leo came bounding back to the picnic blanket.
Charlotte looked towards the house. Mr. Colbourne was indeed walking across the lawn,
seemingly unaware they were sitting beneath the large tree.

“Mr. Colbourne!” she called out to him.

He stopped, mid stride, his gaze taking in their blanket, cushions and basket. “I won’t disturb
you.”

She knew that Leo would love nothing more than to have her father’s presence at their picnic,
even if it was just for a few minutes. And she suspected that as much as Augusta might
pretend she did not need her uncle’s attention, she also craved it. For too long, the young
woman had been without her parents and an uncle, though not the same as a father, was the
closest she would have to that all too important influence in her life.

Charlotte decided rather quickly that if she was to stand any chance of having Mr. Colbourne
join them, she must engage him on a topic he was most comfortable with. “How is Hannibal,
Sir?”

He turned towards them, his attention now diverted from continuing wherever he’d been
headed. “Recovering, thank you. He sends his regards.”

Her lips twitched in amusement. His humor, though rarely on display, always seemed to bring
him into a new light. With each passing encounter, she was becoming more aware of the
complexities of the man.

“Be sure to send him mine in return.”

He began to walk down the slight hill towards them and she was struck by how striking a
figure he cut. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, baring his strong forearms to the
summer sun. He wore no cravat, the neck of his shirt unbuttoned just above the well fitted
navy waistcoat that showed off his lean figure. He looked little like one would expect the
wealthy master of a large estate to appear and more like a man who was unafraid of getting
his hands dirty.

An image of Sidney flitted through her mind. He had always moved with a smug self-
assurance, confident in who he was and that he could get whatever he wanted with ease. Yet
Alexander Colbourne moved with the ease of a man who was at home in his surroundings…
one who knew every tree, rock and blade of grass and relished every inch of the land around
him. He belonged on this land and it was part of who he was at his very core.

“We’re having a picnic, Father,” Leo said eagerly. “And learning about wild flowers. Say
you’ll join us. Please.” Her last word was a plea for him stay as he came to stand next to the
swing hanging from the tree above them.

“There is no need, Uncle,” Augusta spoke before he could answer. Her words carried their
usual bite, meant to sting him in retaliation for spending so little time with them. “I am
certain that you would rather do almost anything else.”
Charlotte met his eye, hoping with all her might that he would see how much his niece and
daughter simply wanted to spend time with him and that by doing so, he could begin to repair
his relationships with them.

“I could spare a few moments,” he conceded.

He settled himself on the corner of the blanket between her and Augusta. A glance at Leo
showed just how happy she was at having her father join them, her eyes bright and a large
smile on her face.

“There’s plenty of food, Mr. Colbourne,” she offered. “I believe Mrs. Wheatley has made
sure there’s enough to feed at least half a dozen.” She laid out the plates of apples, berries,
grapes, celery, cheese, cold turkey and roast beef, bread, eggs and biscuits. A carafe of
lemonade had been provided to drink.

They let Leo carry the conversation as they ate, her meandering description of the book she’d
been reading, Swiss Family Robinson, entertaining them in her retelling of the plot and
characters. At various points in her story, Charlotte and Mr. Colbourne would ask questions
that redirected Leo when she began to ramble. As she had not yet finished reading the book,
her summary ended and Charlotte encouraged her to return to looking for more wild flowers
for her collection for she could see that she’d been sitting still for too long and was beginning
to fidget.

Left without Leo, Mr. Colbourne turned his attention to his niece. It heartened her to see him
trying so hard. “So, what has Miss Heywood been teaching you this morning, Augusta.”

“Not a great deal. As you arrived, she was asking about Aunt Lucy.” Her eyes looked
pointedly at Charlotte.

Caught off guard by Augusta’s remark, she felt her cheeks flush. Augusta had said that her
uncle could not stand to hear his wife’s name yet here she was, bringing her up in
conversation. It was an obvious ploy to either embarrass her governess or cause her uncle
pain…or both. He glanced at her before shifting his eyes downward, clearly uncomfortable.

“Miss Markham was saying her mother and your late wife were close,” Charlotte explained
quickly.

“Yes,” he admitted quickly. “Inseparable.”

She could sense the pain he still carried within even after all these years.

“Aunt Lucy often used to stay with us,” Augusta taunted her uncle. “Somehow she always
felt happier in London than she did here.”

“You were just a child, Augusta,” he interrupted, his voice firm. Clearly, he would brook no
argument with her on this subject. “Your memories cannot be relied upon.”

“Perhaps she felt as I do. Trapped .” Her jaw was set and her tone was petulant as she gave
voice to her frustration over her current circumstances. Months of being at Heyrick Park with
no one to confide in had left her angry and there was only one person for her to blame.

“We have discussed this. You will be introduced to Society when you are ready.” Mr.
Colbourne’s patience with this particular topic was clearly wearing thin.

“And when will that be, Uncle, since you seem so determined to avoid the company of those
around you?” Augusta demanded. “When I’m thirty?”

It was evident to Charlotte that Augusta’s instigation of her uncle would only lead to his
surprisingly well-controlled temper breaking if they continued on in this manner. “Miss
Markham, I’m sure your uncle only has your best interests at heart.”

Charlotte was grateful when Leo ran up to the blanket, interrupting the heated conversation
before either of them could respond further.

“Look, Father,” she knelt on the blanket as she held out a handful of flowers to him, eager to
regain his attention. “I found knapweed and…”

Mr. Colbourne reached for the offered flowers, the tension in his shoulders visibly releasing.
“Cornflowers. Centaurea .” He twirled the three small blue flowers in his fingers.

“ Centaurea ?” Leo asked. “That is a peculiar name.”

“They are named after Chiron, the centaur,” he explained.

Charlotte found herself smiling at the girl. “In the myth, he used them to heal his wounds
from the poisoned arrows.” She caught Mr. Colbourne’s surprised glance from the corner of
eye.

“Do you really think that would work?” Leo seemed skeptical.

“I don’t know. Should we find some poisoned arrows and put it to the test?”

Leo was horrified at the prospect. “I would sooner not.”

Mr. Colbourne laughed, his face lit up with a grin she’d never seen before. She felt a warmth
in her chest at the sight of him so happily engaging with his daughter. Even Augusta could
not help a small smile from turning up the corners of her mouth.

“Cornflowers are my favorite.”

The common blooms reminded her of her home in Willingden. She’d often been able to find
them amongst the fields and she’d always found them cheerful, their bright blue color
standing out against the greens and browns of the surrounding landscape.

He held out the three flowers to her, his eyes meeting hers in a moment that stilled her heart.
“Then you should have them, Miss Heywood.”

Surprised, she took them from his hand, their fingers brushing ever so slightly. “Thank you,
Sir.”
 *****

The afternoon passed all too quickly for Alexander Colbourne. Little could he have known
how much he would have enjoyed a simple picnic in the company of Leo, Augusta and one
Miss Charlotte Heywood.

He had not intended to join them when he’d come across them beneath the large tree by the
house. He suspected that Mrs. Wheatley had ulterior motives in sending him outside for a
walk to clear his head, having full knowledge of the picnic taking place by the old swing.
He’d meant to simply continue on, knowing that being in Charlotte’s presence would only
raise the feelings he’d been trying to suppress.

If he was being honest with himself, his increasing feelings for her were present well before
the day she’d calmed Hannibal and unleashed a level of attraction he’d never experienced
before. But the seeds had long before been planted. With each moment he’d spent in her
company, they’d grown. From the moment he’d laid eyes on her and she’d subsequently
lectured him on raising Leo and Augusta to be educated as well as accomplished, he’d been
fascinated by her.

It was much more than her natural beauty that compelled him to want to be near her. Her
auburn hair, gentle brown eyes and beautiful face attracted him to her physically but her
spirit, intelligence and gentle heart pulled his soul towards her with an insistent tug that
would not relent no matter how much he tried to pull away. Each day the tug grew stronger
and his will to fight it grew weaker. She’d even infiltrated his sleep, his dreams now
dominated by soft brown eyes and tendrils of auburn hair brushing against smiling cheeks.

His inability to resist her pull on him was no more evident than in his impulsive gesture of
presenting her with the cornflowers. It had been entirely inappropriate for him to give a
member of his staff such an offering but the moment she’d said they were her favorite flower,
he could do no more to stop himself than he could prevent himself from breathing. He’d
awkwardly turned away from her before she could see the effect she had on him. He had little
hope that such a woman would ever return his feelings.

His attention had been thankfully pulled from his governess by his tenacious daughter
insisting that he tell her the story of Chiron the centaur. He’d done his best to recite the story
from memory while Charlotte had quickly filled in any gaps as he went. Much like their
banter the morning of the trip to the beach, their back and forth had been unexpectedly
seamless and easy…a collaboration he never realized he was missing.

As the afternoon waned, they’d reluctantly packed up the baskets, folding the blankets and
gathering the cushions to return to the house. There was an air of disappointment around
them that the day was ending. Even Augusta had seemed loath to have the picnic end,
although she gave no voice to her disappointment.

“This has been the best afternoon I can remember,” Leo said cheerfully as they walked back
up the hill.

“What a tragically dull life you must have led, child,” Augusta scoffed at her cousin’s
enthusiasm.
Leo was having none of Augusta’s contrariness. “You’ve enjoyed yourself too. At one point,
I almost saw you smile.”

“That is quite impossible,” Xander teased his niece. “Augusta is incapable of smiling.”

His comment earned him a wide smile from Charlotte that sent a charge through his body.
The afternoon bell tolled five times as they approached the house. It was later than he’d
realized.

“Oh, I must go. I’ll be late for the faire,” Charlotte said, her tone apologetic.

Disappointment washed over him even as logic told him that it was far past her usual
departure time and they had no reason to keep her any longer. “We’ve kept you too long.” He
set down the baskets he’d been carrying.

“Not at all,” she smiled as she relinquished the blankets she was holding into his arms.
“Goodbye.”

The three of them stood there, watching her leave, her presence already missed. “Until
tomorrow then,” he called to her.

“Until tomorrow!”

*****

Charlotte made her way through the crowd now excitedly gathered around the military
balloon. Tom was in his element, elated that the midsummer faire had been saved from ruin
by the generous offer of Colonel Lennox to use his balloon.

The ride into the air above the beach had been exhilarating. She’d never felt more free as
she’d looked out over the town and surrounding countryside. She’d even been able to see
Heyrick Park in the distance. Even the brief few minutes when the soldiers on the ground had
lost control of the balloon, only to have Arthur save the day by grabbing the loose tether
rope, had not lessened the thrill of the adventure.

“Miss Heywood!”

She turned to see the Colonel following after her and stopped to wait for him.

“Might I have a word, Miss Heywood?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

“From the moment we met, you have spoken to me with candor,” he said as they separated
from the crowd. “I fear I have not repaid the courtesy. It’s against my nature to impugn
another man's character but I must warn you to be on your guard against Mr. Colbourne.”

Charlotte had never been one to accept such words against another on no merit. “Why?”

“Please just take my word.”

She knew she could not. She did not know the Colonel well enough to trust fully any warning
the man gave her without explanation. “With respect, you cannot warn me on such strong
terms without evidence.”

“Some years ago, there was a young lady who meant a very deal to me. She had a fierce,
bright spirit not unlike your own. Her name was Lucy.”

“His wife,” she acknowledged, her stomach dropping with a sense of dread.

“Colbourne stole her from me, Miss Heywood,” he said, his words dripping with distaste,
“and then for reasons I do not comprehend, he destroyed her.”

*****

“A personal tribute from the Colonel himself,” Alison seemed far more excited about the
large bouquet of wildflowers that now graced their shared room in Trafalgar House than she
did. “I am not sure you’ve come down to earth since.”

“I’m still trying to make sense of it,” Charlotte admitted. She could hardly believe the
Colonel had sent her flowers, much less such a large display. She hadn’t encouraged him to
believe that she had any feelings beyond friendship, had she?

She picked up the three small cornflowers from the dressing table. She’d kept them tucked
away safely in her reticule when she’d left Heyrick Park.

“Cornflowers? Where did you find them?” Alison asked.

“At Mr. Colbourne’s estate,” she answered, keeping the true story of how she’d received
them to herself.

Charlotte looked at the small bundle of three cornflowers in her hand. She knew Mr.
Colbourne had not planned to give her the simple blue flowers. She was sure the action had
been impulsive, done without considering any greater meaning or consequences. Yet
something in his eyes when he’d held them out to her had told her that he wanted her to have
them, that the small gesture held an even larger meaning to him, one he could not give voice
to.

Each time their eyes had met, she’d felt more and more drawn to him. His hesitant nature was
slowly reaching out, letting others in one small piece at a time. With every small bit of
himself given, she wanted to know more. She ached to understand this man who had shut
himself away from the world. There had to be something more than the death of his wife that
had caused him to withdraw from the world around him.

Colonel Lennox’s warning echoed in her thoughts. His words seemed so contrary to the man
she’d seen emerging from his self-imposed solitude at Heyrick Park. She could see the small
steps he’d been making to become a better father and uncle. He was listening to her and
making changes to improve himself and his efforts were not unnoticed by those around him.
Leo and Augusta were benefitting every day from his slow transformation.
Yet she knew he was still withholding something…something that burdened him so fully that
it had become entangled deep within him. It was preventing him from revealing his true
character. But was his secret that he had somehow been the cause of his wife’s death? Had he
destroyed her as the Colonel claimed?

In her heart, she could not accept that Alexander Colbourne was capable of causing such
damage to anyone. He was reclusive, stubborn and taciturn at times but he was also
intelligent, held in high regard by his staff and had shown himself to be willing to listen and
change for the benefit of those around him. Such a man did not align with the one that had
been described to her by either Tom or the Colonel.

Alison had slipped into the bed they shared, her back turned towards her. Charlotte gently
placed the cornflowers between the pages of a book, knowing her sister would not disturb
them there. There was no good reason to continue pondering her employer instead of
sleeping. She would not unravel the mystery of Mr. Colbourne’s character tonight.

*****

Charlotte followed the girls downstairs for luncheon but instead of continuing on to the
kitchens she went into the drawing room, heading for the small shelf of books she knew was
kept in the room for anyone who wanted to choose from the selection. Her eyes had caught
on a book of Greek mythology when she’d been in the room with the girls the other day and
she was hoping to find it so she and Leo could read some of the myths together. Crouching
down before the shelf, she ran her finger along the spines as she scanned the embossed titles.

The rather masculine sound of a throat being politely cleared startled her, causing her to
nearly fall over. Standing, she pressed her hand over her pounding heart. “Mr. Colbourne,
you startled me.”

Mr. Colbourne sat at the table in the corner of the room, a book in hand and a cup of tea in
front of him. He looked apologetic. “I am sorry, Miss Heywood. It wasn’t my intention to do
so.”

She drew a deep breath as her pulse slowed. “It’s fine, Mr. Colbourne. No damage done.”

He stood, closing the book he’d been reading. “Were you looking for something?”

“Yes, actually,” she turned back to the shelf. “I thought I saw a book on Greek mythology
here not long ago. Miss Colbourne has been very interested in learning some more of the
stories since the picnic yesterday.” She felt her cheeks warming inexplicably. “She
particularly wanted to read the story of Chiron.”

“She did speak at great length about the story at dinner,” he smiled as he walked closer. “She
frequently talks about your lessons. She’s clearly been very engaged and has enjoyed them a
great deal.”

Charlotte flushed even more. “Thank you, Sir. She’s been a wonderful pupil. I enjoy teaching
her.”
 The dark depths of his eyes caught hers and her heart skipped again.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you that…I regret betting against you, Miss Heywood,” he
sheepishly admitted with a small grin. “I should have never doubted you.”

She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face in response as she recalled the
morning in the kitchens when she’d revealed she knew he’d bet against her. “And I shouldn’t
have teased you about the wager, Mr. Colbourne. I hope you’ve forgiven me.”

He gave her a small bow. “There’s nothing to forgive. I deserved it.” He held out the book
he’d been holding to her and turned to leave. “Page fifty-seven, Miss Heywood,” he called
over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

Charlotte looked down at the book in her hands and laughed. He’d been reading the exact
book she’d been looking for. She opened it to page fifty-seven. Sure enough, it was the story
of Chiron the centaur. She shook her head in amusement as she went back to the beginning of
the book to view the contents. There on the inside of the cover, written in the smudged ink of
a left-handed child was a name. Xander Colbourne .

Chapter End Notes

Just want to say that I skulk anonymously under a different name on Twitter and
Facebook and I love this fandom's enthusiasm and sense of humor. You guys are the
best! Thanks for the lovely comments.
 Dancing, Dresses & Deliberations
Chapter Summary

Xander's feeling things and Charlotte's not sure who to trust.

Chapter Notes

Characters and scripted content belong to the wonderful writers of Sanditon and Jane
Austen.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Dancing, Dresses & Deliberations

“Look father, we’re releasing butterflies!”

Xander was walking back from the greenhouse where he'd been discussing a broken pane of
glass with the gardener when he heard his daughter call out to him from the gardens next to
the house.

He raised his head, quickly locating Leo standing between the hedgerows and rose bushes
that had been a favorite of his mother’s. As expected, she was in the company of Miss
Heywood.

He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, recalling the brief touch of her fingers on his
when he’d impulsively offered her the cornflowers the day before. The recollection of the
look on her face when she’d taken them from his hand both thrilled him and scared him to
death.

For a brief moment, Xander considered making some excuse so he could escape but as soon
as his eyes flickered to Charlotte and the small smile she gave Leo, he could not. He walked
along the gravel paths, caught by Leo’s grin of excitement. She bounced on her heels
impatiently. Crouching down next to his daughter, he pushed down the surge of emotions that
now accompanied every encounter he had with the governess.

“Are you now?” he asked Leo, forcing himself to focus on the jar of blue and brown
butterflies in her hand instead of the woman standing next to them. “And what kind of
butterflies do you have?” He waited to see if Leo knew the answer already.

“They are common blue butterflies.” Her brow furrowed. “Poly…poly…,” she looked to
Charlotte for help.
“ Polyommatus …,” she prompted gently.

“ Icarus ! Just like the story in father’s book. He flew too close to the sun.”

Xander couldn’t help but laugh. “Good job, Leo!”

“We collected them when they were caterpillars and observed them as they entered the
chrysalis stage and then emerged as butterflies,” Charlotte explained, her eyes on Leo. “Miss
Colbourne has been anxiously awaiting them to emerge so she could set them free.”

She seemed somehow more subdued than usual, as though something weighed on her mind.
Had something happened at the faire the day before? Surely, he had not done something to
cause such reticence, had he? Did she think the cornflowers inappropriate?

“Will you help us release them, father?” Leo asked. “We have three jars so we could all
release them at the same time.”

Nudging aside his obtrusive concerns for Leo’s sake, he allowed himself to rock back on his
heels so he was sitting on the ground, extending his legs out in front of him with a grunt. He
was fully committed to releasing butterflies it seemed. “Where is Augusta? Why isn’t she
here helping you?”

“Mrs. Wheatley is giving Miss Markham a lesson on household budgeting.” Charlotte knelt
down next to him, holding a jar out to him. Their fingers brushed as he wrapped his hand
around it and her eyes flickered to his and then quickly away. He bit his bottom lip.

“One! Two! Three!” Leo counted down excitedly.

The butterflies fluttered out of the jars, flitting through the air around them. One landed on
his shoulder, slowly opening and closing its blue wings.

Leo laughed. “It likes you, father!”

Another butterfly landed on his arm. “It appears so.”

“Perhaps she likes the yellow waistcoat your father is wearing,” Charlotte suggested.

“She?” he raised his brow in question.

She shrugged, finally gifting him with a small smile. “I prefer to pretend all butterflies are
girls because they are so lovely. Like beautiful ladies in fancy dresses.”

The all blue wings indicated the butterfly in question was a male, a fact he was fairly certain
she knew. “You know it is the males that are more brightly colored so they attract the
females?”

Charlotte raised a finger to her lips. “You are spoiling my childhood make believe stories
with your scientific facts, Mr. Colbourne.”

He grinned. “My apologies, Miss Heywood. I should never wish to spoil your fantasies.”
“Don’t worry, I have many more,” she laughed. Whatever worry that was on her mind
seemed brushed momentarily aside and he reveled in being able to make her laugh. “I
suppose if humans followed the example of butterflies and birds, all of the fine gentlemen
would be dressed in ruffles and bows to show off for the ladies.”

“Would you like to wear ruffles and bows, Father?” Leo laughed at the idea. “I should like to
see that!”

Xander shook his head, trying to compose his features into something stern and failing
miserably. “I shall have to decline, Leo,” he demured. “I cannot even tolerate a cravat most
days, how would I ever manage bows? I shall leave the finery to the birds and butterflies and
all of the ladies who enjoy such things.”

“It’s probably for the best,” Charlotte grinned at him. “If you gently place your hand next to
the butterfly, Leo, you might be able to get her to step onto your finger.”

He felt Leo’s small hand rest on his shoulder for a moment. “She stepped onto my finger!”
she leaned against his back, giggling.

He chuckled softly at her excitement. “Move slowly, Leo, or you will scare it,” he cautioned,
looking over his shoulder at her. She positively glowed with happiness.

“Isn’t she beautiful, Father?” his daughter asked as the butterfly on her finger slowly opened
and closed its wings.

His gaze drifted back to Charlotte as she watched the butterflies fluttering around them with a
serene smile on her face. His heart clenched tightly in his chest.

“She is.”

Xander gently placed a finger next to the butterfly on his arm until it stepped up onto his
hand with fragile little legs and held it out to her. Their eyes locked and heat spread through
his chest. She raised her finger, pressing it next to his. The butterfly stepped onto her hand,
his finger brushing against hers before he pulled away. He thought he saw her cheeks flush
before she lowered her eyes, breaking the moment between them.

*****

The kitchens were surprisingly quiet when Charlotte arrived to start the day. There was no
sign of Mrs. Wheatley who was usually in the kitchens overseeing the staff as they went
about their morning tasks. Assuming she was busy elsewhere in the house, Charlotte went up
the stairs to the ground floor.

The sound of the spinet playing cheerfully drifted through the halls as she drew closer to the
drawing room. She hurried inside, finding Augusta behind the keys as Leo danced around
her.

“What are you doing? If your uncle hears you…”

“It was he who unlocked it,” Augusta smiled broadly, a sight Charlotte had never before seen.
“He who had it tuned.”

“Oh…well…that is unexpected. But welcome.” Certainly it was the last thing she expected
given his response the last time the instrument had been unlocked. Still, he had made an
effort to spend time with the girls so perhaps this was another indication that he was trying to
be a better father and uncle. “Now we can have dancing lessons.”

“Yes!” Leo exclaimed excitedly.

Charlotte set aside her hat, coat and satchel. “We can begin with the cotillion.”

*****

Music filled the hall as Xander walked towards his study. He smiled to himself, unexpectedly
pleased that Augusta and Leonora were so enthusiastic about the newly tuned spinet. He
should have had the instrument tuned long ago…certainly when Augusta had come to live at
Heyrick Park. He’d known she’d longed to play the instrument but his own guilt and
selfishness had kept it locked.

Charlotte had been right when she’d questioned what use it was to have a spinet yet not play
it. He now readily admitted she’d been right about so many things. The house had been a
mausoleum and he had been ignoring his niece and daughter. Hearing them now, laughing
and playing music, he felt a happiness that he couldn’t recall feeling before. Certainly not
when his father was alive or during his marriage to Lucy when she was in London and he was
here.

“One…two…three…four. Turn! One…two…three…four. Good.”

He stopped outside the drawing room before quickly moving out of sight behind the doorway.
Peering around, he watched as the girls were led through the steps of a dance by Charlotte.
They were all smiling and laughing, enjoying themselves immensely. It warmed his heart to
hear them having such fun and he was under no misconception as to whom the credit
belonged to.

He felt a twinge of guilt watching Augusta as she twirled beneath Charlotte’s stretched arm
as she stood on her toes. His niece snickered at the absurdity of her governess playing the
gentleman with her shorter stature. She’d been asking to be introduced to Society for months
and he’d refused each time, telling her she was not ready. Certainly her taciturn behavior and
immaturity had been the reason he’d given for his refusal but he knew his reluctance to
introduce her was just as much from his own unwillingness to once again be part of Society.

His thoughts turned to the invitation that lay on his desk. Despite declining every invitation
he’d received for the past decade, Lady Denham still insisted on sending one for each event
she hosted to Heyrick Park. For Augusta’s sake, he supposed it was time to accept one.

*****

“One…two…three…four. Turn! One…two…three…four. Good.”

Twirling Augusta, Charlotte was surprised to see her employer standing in the doorway
watching them. “Mr. Colbourne! I was just teaching Miss Markham the cotillion.” A sudden
idea struck her and she eyed him hopefully. “But we need a gentleman.”

She watched as her words registered with him.

“No,” he released a nervous huff of laughter, clearly embarrassed as he quickly dismissed her
idea with a shake of his head. “I won’t be persuaded to dance, I’m afraid. Not under any
circumstances.”

Augusta’s disappointment was palpable.

He walked further into the room. “Augusta, I’ve decided that you and I should attend Lady
Denham’s garden party tomorrow.”

Augusta looked to her in disbelief, stunned by her uncle’s rather unexpected announcement.

“You have complained long enough that you wish to be introduced to Society,” he continued.
“Well, here is your chance.”

Knowing Augusta would be anxious at the idea of attending her first Society event without
knowing anyone else in attendance, Charlotte quickly offered reassurance. “I shall also be
attending.”

Mr. Colbourne’s eyes shifted from his niece to her. “Then, my dread of the occasion has
somewhat lessened.”

His warm brown eyes held hers. She knew without words that he was trying to tell her that it
would be a comfort to him knowing she was there.

Augusta stepped forward, concern etched on her face. “But what am I going to wear, Uncle?”

“There are wardrobes full of your Aunt’s dresses in the East wing. Perhaps you might find
something that fits you there,” he suggested gently before bowing rather formally. “I shall
leave you ladies to your cotillion.”

Charlotte was excited for Augusta, knowing just how much she’d begged her uncle for the
opportunity to do so. His sudden acquiescence meant he was making an effort to break out of
his self-imposed exile for the sake of his niece. She knew it must be difficult for such a
private man to suddenly re-enter Society after so many years. Knowing that he looked to her
for some small amount of reassurance showed her just how far they’d come from the day
she’d walked into his study seeking a position as governess.

*****

“I noticed you hiding outside the drawing room earlier. Have you been taking lessons from
Miss Leonora on listening at doors?”

Xander raised his eyes to find his housekeeper eyeing him with a knowing smirk on her face.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. “I wasn’t hiding,” he said defensively. “I didn’t wish to
disturb them.”

“Yet you entered the room a moment later.”

He shrugged, keeping his eyes locked on the papers before him. “I remembered that I had not
yet told Augusta that we would be attending Lady Denham’s garden party. It seemed an
appropriate time to tell her.”

“You’ve decided to attend the party then?” Her tone indicated she was as surprised by his
decision as he was.

He sighed, setting the papers aside and leaning back in his chair. “It’s time Augusta entered
Society. I cannot keep her away forever, much to my own dismay. I do not relish having to
attend parties and balls as her chaperone. I fear I’m not the best person for such things.”

“You feel she is ready then?”

“She will have to be,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “In truth, she’s far more prepared
than I am. At least Miss Heywood will be there in case Augusta requires her guidance.”

Her gentle smile gave him little reassurance. “I am sure Miss Heywood would not mind
providing you with a little guidance should you require it as well.”

*****

“It’s the thing I remember best about my Aunt,” Augusta slid her hands down across the deep
blue fabric of her aunt’s dress as she stood in front of the mirror in the school room. “Her
beautiful dresses. She was always so elegant. But this…this is my favorite. I remember her
wearing it to a ball in London with my mother and father.”

“And Mr. Colbourne?” Charlotte asked.

“He rarely came to London with her. He has always been solitary. How do I look, Miss
Heywood?”

“Like a lady.” Charlotte gently reassured her as she pulled on the back of the dress.

“I fear it won’t fasten. I’m not as slender as Aunt Lucy was.”

“You’re not wearing the right undergarments. That’s all.”

“Miss Heywood…do you think I’m ready?” She sounded unusually concerned, her typical
confidence waning.

“For what?”

“Society. I know I can be ill-mannered and disagreeable. What if I give a poor account of
myself?”
“You won’t,” Charlotte squeezed her arm as she continued to adjust the dress. “I have every
faith in you.” For all her biting comments and insistence that she be treated as an adult, she
was still a nervous young woman about to attend her first Society event.

“Anyway, it is your job to ready me for Society so if I am not, then the blame lies with you,”
any uncertainty disappearing as she returned to her usual cynical tone. “Although, I’m almost
certain my Uncle will change his mind. I won’t believe it until we’re there.”

Leo stood up from the floor where she’d been setting up battlefields for her soldiers.
Reaching up, she wrapped her arms around her cousin’s waist, pressing her face into the folds
of her dress.

Augusta seemed startled by the sudden act of affection. “What are you doing?”

“This is my mother’s dress. So, in a way, it’s like I’m hugging her, isn’t it?”

Charlotte’s heart ached. “Yes, Leo,” She stroked her blond head as Augusta returned her
embrace. “I suppose it is.”

*****

The smell of fresh baked shortbread wafted through the hall as Charlotte made her way to the
kitchen for her luncheon. “It smells wonderful, Mrs. Wheatley,” she exclaimed as she entered
the room. She came to a sudden stop.

Mr. Colbourne was sitting at the table, his lunch plate pushed aside and a ledger book in front
of him. She knew he typically did not eat luncheon with the girls but she hadn’t expected to
see the master of the estate eating in the kitchen.

“Thank you, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley handed her a plate filled with food.
“Shortbread is Mr. Colbourne’s favorite which explains why he’s lingering here over the
monthly expenses instead of getting out of the way.” Despite her words, her tone was one of
obvious affection for the man sitting at her table.

“But then you wouldn’t get the pleasure of my company, Mrs. Wheatley,” Mr. Colbourne
teased without looking up from the ledger before him. His left hand moved slowly down the
rows in the book. “And if you didn’t want me to linger, you wouldn’t make shortbread
everytime we’re going over the accounts, would you?”

“That seems like an excellent point, Mrs. Wheatley,” Charlotte laughed as she sat down
across from him. He looked at her from beneath that lock of hair that always seemed to want
to tumble across his brow, the hint of a smile on his face.

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Miss Heywood.” Mrs. Wheatley picked up his empty
plate and set down one of warm shortbread in its place.

Mr. Colbourne arched his back, rolling his neck. “That would belie her good sense and
intelligence, Mrs. Wheatley, considering I pay her wages.”
“You must ration your compliments, Mr. Colbourne, or you’ll make me conceited,” Charlotte
picked up her fork and knife.

He released a small huff of laughter. “Did Augusta find a dress for the garden party?”

“She did. She’s very excited.” She met his eye. “Thank you for letting her go. I’m certain
she’ll make you proud.”

“There’s no need for you to thank me, Miss Heywood,” his gaze held hers for a long moment
and a flutter rippled through her. He blinked and, closing the ledger before him, reached for
the plate of shortbread. “Everything seems in perfect order, as always, Mrs. Wheatley.”

“Those are for tea, Mr. Colbourne,” the housekeeper warned him. “Don’t be sneaking more
than one now.”

He popped the piece of shortbread into his mouth, giving her a saucy grin as he stood up
from the table. Mrs. Wheatley shook her head at him, turning her back to take his plate to be
washed. He looked at Charlotte once again, his eyes narrowed mischievously as he reached
for the plate of shortbread, quickly taking another piece. He placed a finger to his lips
conspiratorially before turning and walking out the door.

“I saw that, Mr. Colbourne!” Mrs. Wheatley called after him.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to, Mrs. Wheatley,” his voice carried down the hall.

The banter and obvious affection between Mr. Colbourne and Mrs. Wheatley brought a smile
to Charlotte’s lips. That a man could view a member of his staff with such esteem was surely
a sign of his integrity.

The smile slipped from her face as she recalled Colonel Lennox’s words. How could she
possibly align his warning with the man that she’d just witnessed teasing his housekeeper?
The man who had joined them for a picnic and released butterflies with his daughter? The
man who cared so deeply about his dog and horse? The same man who had shown on more
than one occasion that he heard her admonishments and was trying to become a better father
and uncle as a result.

She could not claim to know the Colonel well at all but she could not deny he’d shown
interest in her work as a governess, offering her advice on more than one occasion. He’d
given her no reason why she shouldn’t believe what he had told her and she’d heard no
accounts from others that he was not trustworthy.

On the other hand, she’d spent more time with Mr. Colbourne since he’d hired her and felt
with each interaction she was slowly coming to know him better. Certainly, their early
encounters had been rife with disagreeing attitudes and opinions but recently, he’d been much
more open, showing more of the man he kept closely bottled inside. Try as she might to deny
it, there had been moments where she’d felt something between them…something that was
growing in strength and depth…and with each look he was silently asking her a question that
she couldn’t yet fathom.
 Yet she could not let whatever there was between them blind her to who he was if there was a
chance the Colonel’s story was true. She could not claim to truly understand his character if
he continued to keep his thoughts to himself. She ached to know him more…to understand
him, but sensed he was unwilling to let anyone see his true nature.

“You appear to have something on your mind, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley interrupted
her thoughts. “Is everything alright?”

She sighed, giving her a bemused smile as she tried to put into words her quandary without
revealing just whom her quandary was about.

“I was told something by an acquaintance about another… acquaintance …that doesn’t seem
to align with what I have seen of that person. I do not know what to believe and I find myself
at a loss. I do not wish to unfairly think poorly of someone based on another’s words if it’s
undeserved but how can I discount what I was told? If their assessment of the person’s
character is accurate, I fear I would do best to heed their warning.”

The kindly housekeeper sat down next to her. “You’ve always struck me as a woman who
knew her mind and trusted her instincts, Miss Heywood. From what I’ve seen of you here,
your instincts have suited you well…and might I add, benefitted all of us. Even if it was
sometimes more difficult for some,” she smiled.

“I fear my instincts aren’t helping me much right now, Mrs. Wheatley,” frustration nagged at
her. “If only I knew the other side of the story, I would be better able to make my own
judgment.”

The woman patted her arm. “I suggest giving it some more time. Perhaps all will become
clear if you are patient and keep your heart and mind open when they are ready to share their
story with you.”

“What if I never learn the other side of the story because they refuse to share it?”

“Some people find it more difficult to confide in others, Miss Heywood,” she stood up. “But
knowing that there is someone there willing to listen when they are ready goes a long way
towards helping them understand that there are people who care about them no matter what
their story is.”

Chapter End Notes

I'm fully aware that as housekeeper, Mrs. Wheatley wouldn't be cooking but I have it in
my head she still enjoys baking for "her boy".

Yes, I totally swiped Lady Lydia's line because it was just too good!
 Archery & The Art of Conversation
Chapter Summary

Xander works on his social skills, Charlotte's caught between a rock and a recluse.

The scripted content, story and characters in the show belong to the writers and creators
of Sanditon.

Chapter Notes

Oof! This one was HARD! (I may be questioning my decision to write fan fiction a little
bit after this one.) There are no added scenes (no sweet little butterflies), just some small
additions to the show scenes with some extra dialog. I did cut a few bits out and it still
ended up quite a bit longer than my usual chapters.

I actually HATE the archery contest scenes. I can't bear to watch them because I just
want to punch Lennox in the face and you can see the train wreck coming and it's awful.

Archery & The Art of Conversation

Charlotte was beginning to regret attending Lady Denham’s garden party and the event had
barely even begun.

“Why must Lady Denham be so spiteful?”

Lady Denham’s insistence on serving an enormous cake in the face of the sugar boycott was
a spiteful rebuke of Georgiana. Charlotte suspected the older woman was merely jealous of
her friend replacing her as the wealthiest woman in all of Sanditon as well as her disdain over
what she viewed as her unearned place in Society.

“She’s trying to put me in my place,” Georgiana replied. “She thinks me a hypocrite.”

“It’s hardly hypocritical to stand up for what is right,” Charlotte protested.

“I am all too aware of the suffering my fortune represents. That is exactly why I cannot stay
silent.”

“Who is that man?” Miss Hankins interrupted.

Charlotte followed her gaze to where Augusta and Mr. Colbourne were just entering the
garden. Augusta looked timid and anxious, her eyes darting around her, taking in all of the
people in their fine clothes. Mr. Colbourne too looked as though he wished to be anywhere
else…preferably someplace without people and most definitely with horses. He dipped his
head in a slight nod of acknowledgement, the corners of his mouth turning up in a small but
relieved smile.

“It is Mr. Colbourne,” she said, somewhat surprised. A part of her had doubted he would
actually attend.

Georgiana gave her a knowing look. “ That is Mr. Colbourne?” Her eyes sparkled with
delight and an unspoken accusation that Charlotte had been keeping a secret from her. She
was certain her friend would be pressing her for information about her employer soon
enough.

She returned her gaze to him.

She had never seen him dressed so well, having become accustomed to his near constant state
of dishevelment around Heyrick Park. Although still unshaven and wearing black while most
of the gentlemen at the party wore lighter, more colorful clothing, he looked handsome in his
fine coat and top hat. His clothing was well tailored and the fabrics of the finest quality,
something she was certain Mrs. Wheatley was responsible for rather than Mr. Colbourne
himself. To the casual observer, he was clearly a gentleman of no small means. For most
women in want of a husband, his appearance and large estate would be enough for them to
say yes to a proposal without another thought. She had never viewed him in such light
before…that of a man who would be considered highly desirable to most women…and it was
eye-opening.

“You never mentioned your employer was so young and handsome, Charlotte,” Georgiana
leaned closer.

Heat flushed her cheeks. “I didn’t think it warranted mentioning.”

“You didn’t think the most available man in all of Sanditon was worth mentioning?” she
scoffed. “Or perhaps you were hoping to keep him to yourself?”

*****

Xander led his niece towards their hostess, anxious to get the formality of the required
greeting behind him so he wouldn’t have to spend another moment in the woman’s company.
He had first met Lady Denham while attending events with his father before his death and her
biting observations and sharp tongue had caused him to form a rather unfavorable opinion of
her from an early age. She had often sparred with his father and he had no doubt she
remembered their interactions as well as he did.

“Mr. Colbourne,” Lady Denham spoke with unbridled surprise at the sight of him. “What an
unexpected pleasure.”
“Lady Denham,” he nodded politely before introducing Augusta. “My niece, Miss Augusta
Markham.”

“Oh, she’s a pretty little thing. I’d keep her away from the soldiers if I was you.”

His stomach churned at the mention of the militia. He hadn’t counted on so many soldiers
being in attendance. “I fully intend to.”

“I hope you’re going to enter the archery competition. Your late father won the silver arrow
three years running.”

Xander drew himself up stiffly, chin in the air. “I’m nothing like my father,” he declared.

Lady Denham raised her eyebrows at his adamant refusal to be associated with the prior Mr.
Colbourne. “Well, that’s a relief. It will save me a fortune in wine,” she said blithely.

It took all he had in him to ignore her glib comment. He quickly ushered Augusta away
before he uttered a poorly chosen retort.

And quite suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Xander blinked against the bright sunshine as he struggled to right himself, caught as he was
in a maelstrom of sudden emotions. If he thought Charlotte beautiful in a simple dress, sitting
on a blanket beneath a tree, he was unprepared for the vision before him. Assuredly, he would
forever associate the color blue with her. The hint of a smile graced her lips when she saw
him and he feared he was lost forever.

He followed Augusta, drawn to her once again. He’d all but given up fighting the way she
tugged at him for he no longer had the willpower or the desire to do so.

“Miss Markham, you look so elegant,” she greeted Augusta.

His niece eyed her governess up and down. “And you look nothing like a governess!”

He quickly grasped at his her words so as to not have to somehow force his own thoughts
into something remotely intelligible. “That’s high praise indeed, coming from Augusta.”

Charlotte’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling amber in the sunlight, and he found himself
grinning in return. It amazed him how much her presence both relieved and flustered him at
the same time. If only he could stand by her side for the entirety of the party, enjoying her
abundant charm, intelligence and humor until it was time to leave.

Suddenly, his ears pricked up at a horribly familiar voice behind him and a cold weight
dropped into the pit of his stomach. Turning his head, he saw him standing there, his red coat
proclaiming him for all to see.

Colonel Francis Lennox. The man who destroyed his life.

*****
Charlotte had not been prepared for the look she saw on Mr. Colbourne’s face when she’d
turned to find him and Augusta walking towards her.

She’d seen men take pause and appraise her appearance before. Depending on the nature of
the appraisal, she’d found the experience to be either genuinely complimentary if the
gentleman was honestly appreciative of her as a person that was more than just her
appearance or quite distasteful if the man in question seemed to be leering as though she was
some sort of prize that could be taken possession of.

But Mr. Colbourne…he looked at her as though he was caught in a storm and she was his
safe harbor.

Augusta reached her, forcing her to direct her attention towards making polite conversation
instead of trying to make sense of the confusing thoughts running through her head. She
smiled and gripped the champagne flute in her hand tighter. When Augusta asked her a
question about the types of games she could expect to see at the party, Charlotte gratefully
seized on the topic, cheerfully delving into instructing her pupil on the rules of croquet while
her uncle stood silently, content to listen.

The sudden shift in Mr. Colbourne’s stance caused her to pause mid-sentence, his head
turning abruptly as though he’d heard something behind him. Glancing past him, she knew
immediately who had caught his attention… Colonel Lennox .

It was evident that he had been caught completely off-guard by the colonel’s presence. His
back stiffened, his face paled and any hint of a smile that might have existed disappeared. If
he’d hoped that the colonel hadn’t seen him, he was sorely disappointed as Colonel Lennox
headed towards them, looking like a predator that had just caught sight of his prey.

“Mr. Colbourne. Miss Heywood.”

His surprise when the colonel addressed her by name was evident and she inwardly winced.
She observed him carefully, trying to comprehend what he was thinking but failing miserably.
For his part, Colonel Lennox seemed delighted at the effect his presence had on the man he
had warned her about.

Mr. Colbourne’s eyes fixed on the colonel. “I wasn’t aware that you and my governess were
acquainted.”

“I would presume Miss Heywood to be a friend.” The colonel’s eyes conveyed an unspoken
challenge.

“Would you indeed?” The two men stared at each other for a long moment before Mr.
Colbourne’s eyes brushed past her, refusing to make contact. “Excuse me.”

He touched Augusta’s elbow, indicating they were leaving and the two of them walked away.

“You chose not to heed my warning, I see.” The colonel’s words carried an air of
chastisement with them.
“Is it not possible he has changed?” She asked hopefully, knowing she would get no
reassurance from him.

“I very much doubt it. But for your sake, I shall try to be civil.”

The day was certainly not going the way she had anticipated.

It was evident that the colonel and Mr. Colbourne had a history that was upsetting to Mr.
Colbourne yet she found it odd that the colonel, who claimed to have been the one wronged,
seemed quite calm about meeting the man whom he said had stolen the woman he loved only
to destroy her. Would his reaction not be more akin to Mr. Colbourne’s if he truly loved the
late Mrs. Colbourne as he claimed?

Charlotte followed Mr. Colbourne to where he stood silently beneath one of the tents, clearly
agitated as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. He noted her presence but refused to
speak. Augusta shot her a pleading look, unsure how to react to whatever turmoil her Uncle
was experiencing.

“Augusta, may I introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Waltham?” Charlotte led the confused young
woman towards the solicitor and his wife, knowing the couple to be pleasant and easy to
converse with. After a few words, she separated from the group and moved back to Mr.
Colbourne.

“Mr. Colbourne…”

“It was a mistake for us to come,” he interrupted her. “I had no idea you and that man were so
intimately acquainted.” He said the words with clear distaste.

“Whatever the history between you…”

“What do you know of our history?” He demanded, an odd hint of panic in his voice.

“Only that there is clearly some animosity,” she said quickly. It would not help matters to
make him aware of the colonel’s accusations against him. “But if Colonel Lennox can have
the grace to set that aside for one afternoon, surely you can do the same…for Miss
Markham’s sake if nothing else.”

Her words brought him up short. Once again, she was struck by his willingness to take pause
and heed her words. “Very well.” The air in his lungs escaped in a rush. “We shall stay a
short while but we shall keep our distance.”

They stood together for a few minutes more, Charlotte pointing out people to him and
making comments about the food, the gardens and the music until she sensed that he had
achieved some level of calm again. Satisfied that he was once again well enough to be left
alone, she excused herself and focused her attention on Augusta, inviting her to join in a
game of croquet. Leading her away, she glanced back at Mr. Colbourne, hoping for his sake
the rest of the afternoon would be uneventful indeed.

*****
Xander stood off to the side as Augusta played croquet with the ladies in attendance,
including Charlotte, her friend Miss Lambe and the Reverend Hankins’ sister. He applauded
her ability to so easily join into an unfamiliar activity with people she didn’t know, a skill
he’d never mastered. Twisting at the ring on his left hand, his thoughts inevitably turned to
his meeting with the man who’d seduced Lucy.

It had taken all of his willpower to stay at the party for Augusta’s sake once he’d realized
Lennox was in attendance. He mentally kicked himself for never even considering that the
militia would be invited. He’d known they were camped outside of town and that they had
hosted a camp dinner. He was frankly surprised Lady Denham thought them worthy of being
invited to her party at all.

He would have recognized Lennox’s voice anywhere, despite only meeting the man once a
decade ago. The anger he’d felt upon hearing his voice and seeing his face had stunned him
but it had been nothing compared to the seething hot fury that had raged inside him when
he’d watched that man greet Charlotte and claim they were friends .

How he’d managed to remove himself and Augusta from Lennox’s presence without
punching the man in the mouth was a mystery. He was vaguely aware of his niece’s
questioning looks but if she’d spoken to him, he hadn’t heard her. It had taken Charlotte’s
calm presence next to him, waiting patiently for his anger to ebb, for him to rein his emotions
back in. And as much as he hated to be in any sort of proximity to the man, he’d agreed to
stay for Augusta’s sake at Charlotte’s encouragement.

Constantly aware of her presence, he saw Charlotte step away from the croquet pitch. It was
obvious that she wasn’t her usual self and he wondered at the cause of her ire. He’d seen her
in the company of Miss Lambe and another young lady not long ago. Perhaps something had
occurred between them. If only he had the ability to sooth her the way she did so easily with
him.

“Miss Heywood,” he made a half-hearted attempt to draw her into conversation. “You seem
perturbed.”

She stepped closer, her voice low. “My sister will not listen to reason. If she finds the truth
inconvenient, she just disregards it.”

“In my experience, a young woman’s opinion, once formed, is very hard to alter.” The words
hardly seemed comforting. He sighed, removing his hat. “It’s been a decade since I found
myself at an occasion such as this. I fear I’ve lost whatever social graces I once owned.
Perhaps you can remind me how to hold a conversation.”

“I thought you’d employed me to teach the girls, Mr. Colbourne,” she gently chided him.
“Not you.”

A huff of laughter escaped him as he recalled the very words he’d spoken to her on her first
day as a governess. It should come as no surprise to him by now that she could recall
everything he’d ever said and use it to tease a smile from him. What he wouldn’t give to be
able to converse so easily with others the way he could with her. The familiar flutter in his
chest returned as her eyes danced with amusement.
“I must admit that you’ve taught me more than I ever could have imagined, Miss Heywood,”
he said graciously. “Except perhaps about malacology. There I must draw the line and insist
that my knowledge still exceeds your own.”

She laughed. “I shall cede to your superior knowledge regarding snails , Mr. Colbourne. But
only just.”

“Charlotte!” Miss Lambe called out. “It is your turn.”

Charlotte excused herself and once again Xander stood on his own. He tried to pay attention
to the game but wasn’t able to focus as his eyes continued to track her movements. A bitter
taste filled his mouth as Lennox approached her once more.

“Mr. Colbourne. May I introduce my wife, Mary Parker?”

Xander turned, finding himself regrettably standing next to Tom Parker. He bowed politely to
the woman with him. “Mrs. Parker.”

“Delighted to meet you, Mr. Colbourne.”

Despite growing up in the same town, he’d had little contact with the Parker family until Tom
Parker had approached him with his plans to develop the town, hoping for his investment in
his schemes. But Xander had little interest in the man’s plans to turn Sanditon into a resort
community, packed full of visitors from the Ton, and destroying the quaint…and peaceful
town he’d always loved.

“Tell me, Mr. Parker, was it your idea to bring the military to Sanditon?”

“I cannot take credit for it,” Mr. Parker admitted. “But I happily agreed to it. In fact I am in
the process of negotiating permanent barracks with Colonel Lennox. Is that not right,
Colonel?”

Lennox turned from where he stood with Charlotte. “Negotiating is rather overstating the
case. I’ve yet to be convinced that permanent barracks are a good idea.”

Xander couldn’t even tolerate seeing her standing next to the man. Out of the corner of his
eye he saw his niece suddenly wobble just before she collapsed on the ground, right in front
of the colonel’s outstretched arms.

“Take your hands off her!” he demanded, hurrying to Augusta’s side.

“He’s trying to help!” Charlotte knelt down next to her. “Augusta!”

“Augusta!”

She stirred, coming around. Relief washed over him. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“It’s rather warm in the sun. I’m sure she just overheated,” Charlotte said calmly. “Can you
sit up, Augusta?”
Augusta nodded, her face red with embarrassment. They helped her to sit as Mrs. Parker held
a parasol over her, providing shade.

“Why don’t I take you inside for a few minutes to cool down?” Charlotte offered.

He looked at her gratefully. He would have been at a loss if she wasn’t there. He helped
Augusta to stand and watched as Charlotte led her away.

Despite Charlotte’s reassurances that Augusta would be fine, he continued to watch anxiously
for their return. His fears were allayed when they reappeared, his niece seemingly returned to
good health without issue. The sight of her walking with Charlotte made him smile despite
himself. It wasn’t all that long ago that Augusta was trying her best to have her governess
dismissed from her position. Now, they looked at home together and his heart was filled with
happiness at the image of the two of them together.

He didn’t see Lennox approaching until it was too late.

“She’s the very image of her Aunt. When she was in my arms, it was as if Lucy had come
back to me.” The man had the gall to pat him on the shoulder and walk away, a pompous look
on his face.

He closed his eyes and counted to ten, breathing slowly in and out. He had lasted this long,
he told himself, he could withstand it a little longer. With any luck he’d never have to see the
man again.

*****

When Charlotte returned to the party with Augusta, they found an agitated Mr. Colbourne
waiting for them.

“Augusta, is everything alright? We can leave if you feel ill.”

He seemed almost hopeful Augusta would agree. She supposed he’d had just about enough of
Society for one afternoon.

“Please, Uncle, I’d like to stay,” she pleaded. “It was my own fault. I should have sat in the
shade and had something cold to drink when I felt myself getting hot.”

Charlotte caught Augusta’s look of desperation. “I believe she’ll be just fine, Mr. Colbourne.
There’s no need to leave so soon. I’m sure if Augusta starts feeling overwhelmed again,
she’ll sit down right away.”

He searched her face as though trying to read the truth of her words before finally nodding in
agreement. “Very well. But please let me know if you aren’t feeling well, Augusta. You do
not need to stay just to prove a point to me.”

“Mr. Colbourne,” Colonel Lennox interrupted them. “Would you consider some sport? Will
you take up the bow against me?” He issued the challenge with a smirk on his face.
“No,” Mr. Colbourne’s jaw tightened as the colonel addressed him. “Thank you.” He turned,
clearly intent on walking away.

“Oh, that’s rather ungracious of you, Mr. Colbourne,” Lady Denham chimed in. “Are you
afraid the colonel might show you up?”

Charlotte bit her lip to keep from leveling a scathing comment at the meddlesome woman.
Why couldn’t she just leave well enough alone?

“You do not have to do this if you don’t wish to,” she said quietly so only he could hear.

His eyes flickered to hers. “And give that man the satisfaction of my refusal?”

“Does his opinion matter so much to you?”

His hands tightened into fists and he looked away, pain etched in his eyes. “You do not
understand.”

Charlotte wanted nothing more in that moment than to take his arm and lead him away…to
take him back to Heyrick Park and walk with him beneath the trees and through the meadows
until the memory of this day blew away on the summer breeze. “Then tell me so I do.”

His eyes snapped back to her and she knew before the words left his lips.

“I cannot.”

*****

Charlotte leaned close to Augusta. “Does your uncle shoot?”

She raised her brows and shrugged. “I haven’t the faintest idea. He’s never mentioned
anything about it in my hearing and I’ve certainly never seen him with a bow in his hand
before.” She frowned. “Lady Denham did mention that his father was quite good at archery
so perhaps he did shoot when he was younger if his father taught him.”

She certainly hoped for his sake that he was a natural with a bow or this contest between him
and the colonel could be quite embarrassing.

Colonel Lennox took his stance in front of the target, drew his bow and shot, the arrow flying
into the center ring.

“Oh, a fine start, Colonel!” Lady Denham complimented him. “Mr. Colbourne, you will be
lucky to match it.”

Mr. Colbourne’s face was locked into an expressionless mask but she did not miss the
hardness of his eyes as he glanced at the older woman. He took aim and unleashed his shot,
the arrow shaft vibrating as it lodged itself well within the center of the target.

“I spoke too soon! This will be a fight to the death.” Lady Denham was clearly delighted that
her contest was turning into an unexpectedly tight battle.
Another round had the two men still tied much to the satisfaction of the crowd gathered
around them, the disappointment of the colonel who thought he’d be able to dispatch his
competition easily and the chagrin of Mr. Colbourne who wanted nothing more than for the
match to be over.

Colonel Lennox stood ready to let loose his final arrow when he suddenly dropped the bow, a
thoughtful expression on his face. “It occurs to me…why should we men have all the fun?”
he said loud enough for those gathered to hear. He turned to her, extending the bow. “I
nominate Miss Heywood to take my final shot.”

Charlotte blinked in surprise. The last thing she’d expected was for the colonel to draw her
into his personal differences with Mr. Colbourne and she didn’t appreciate his attempt.
“Thank you, Colonel. But this contest is between you and Mr. Colbourne.”

“I insist.”

The look on Mr. Colbourne’s face was impossible to read and he made no move to protest the
colonel’s attempt to circumvent the traditional rules and save her from becoming entangled in
their personal conflict.

Left with little choice but to comply with the colonel’s request, she took the bow and took her
place, knocking an arrow against the string.

The colonel reached his arms around either side of her, intent on showing her what to do.
“You must make the tension tight, keep it strong.”

“This is not the first time I’ve used a bow,” she explained, her patience with the colonel’s
antics wearing thin.

Charlotte straightened her left arm and pulled the bowstring back to her right ear. She inhaled
and then exhaled slowly, lining up her shot. Releasing her fingers, the arrow flew straight into
the center of the target.

“Heavens!” Lady Denham exclaimed, shocked at her unexpected proficiency with a bow.

“Well played, Miss Heywood,” Colonel Lennox’s compliment was expressed with a
smugness that left little doubt that his only aim in the contest was to show his opponent up. “I
am lucky to have you on my side.”

“Why should the colonel gain an unfair advantage?” Mr. Colbourne’s voice rang out. “Miss
Heywood, would you do me the same honor?” He held out his bow to her.

Disappointment rippled through her. The colonel’s arrogance did not particularly surprise her
but she had not expected Mr. Colbourne's willingness to lower himself to the colonel’s level,
forcing her into an impossible position. Reluctantly, she took the offered bow, knowing her
frustration was evident on her face.

It was immediately obvious to her as she began to draw the bow that it had been strung much
tighter than Colonel Lennox’s bow. Struggling to pull the string back, she unleashed the
arrow too soon and it skittered along the ground, well short of the target. Despite her
annoyance at being forced into taking part in the contest between the two men, guilt twisted
her stomach. The last thing she’d wanted was for Mr. Colbourne to lose to the colonel at her
hands. The perception would be that she’d intentionally missed the last shot in order to win
the contest for Colonel Lennox when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Lady Denham looked back and forth between Mr. Colbourne and the colonel. “Colonel
Lennox is the winner but I’m not sure this counts.”

Mr. Colbourne hastily began removing the arm guard strapped to his left arm, tugging at the
straps. She could tell he was upset but it wasn’t clear if he was more upset with Colonel
Lennox or with her. Would he understand that it had not been her intention to miss the shot
after making the one before on behalf of the colonel? Did he believe that it was an indication
of her preference for the colonel’s attentions?

“Never mind, Mr. Colbourne,” Lennox came to stand before him, a smirk on his face as he
extended an open hand. “You know what they say. All’s fair in love and war.” He lowered his
voice. “But then I have known both and you have known neither.”

Throwing down the guard, Mr. Colbourne grabbed his coat and hat and grasped Augusta’s
arm, pushing her away from the gathered bystanders towards the lane where the carriages
waited. “We’re leaving.”

Charlotte hurried after them, startled by his abrupt departure. She knew whatever the colonel
had just said to him, it had been the final straw, breaking the tentative grasp he had on
holding his contempt for the man in check. Still she hoped she could explain to him that it
had not been her intention to miss the shot and beg him once again to consider staying for
Augusta’s sake.

“Mr. Colbourne!”

He pushed Augusta towards the carriage and turned towards her, his eyes burning with anger.
“You are not to spend another minute in that man’s company,” he ordered.

She had never seen him this angry. It was evident from his rapid breathing and the wild look
in his eyes that he was barely containing his emotions. She was struck by a memory of a stray
dog that she’d once seen backed against a wall, teeth bared and hackles raised, as a group of
hounds threatened him. There would be no reasoning with him today.

“That is not your decision to make,” she said defiantly. Did he truly believe he had the right
to such demands?

“You are my governess. I forbid it!” He practically spat the words from his mouth.

Anger seared through her, burning in the pit of her stomach. “You might pay my wages but I
am not yours to order about. You do not own me !”

With one last look of angry desperation, he turned his back on her. Climbing into the
carriage, he pounded his fist on the roof and the horses jerked into motion, hurriedly pulling
away. Charlotte watched them leave, her heart pounding in her chest as her emotions
threatened to overwhelm her…so many she could barely put names to what she was feeling.
Anger, frustration, shock, disappointment, sadness…she hardly knew where to start.

Turning, she found Colonel Lennox standing beside her, a smug look on his face. It was
obvious from his arrogant sneer that he was quite pleased with himself and the outcome of
the contest he had instigated with the man he’d warned her about. That his warning had
seemingly been proven accurate only frustrated her all the more.
 On Reflection
Chapter Summary

Heybourne hits a crossroad. Also, don't insult Mrs. Wheatley's favorite boy.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

On Reflection

When the carriage pulled up to the front doors of Heyrick Park, Mrs. Wheatley knew
immediately that something had gone wrong at Lady Denham’s garden party. She watched
silently as an obviously upset Xander barely managed to hand Augusta out of the carriage
before disappearing into his study, slamming the door closed behind him.

She turned her attention to the girl. “Miss Markham, what happened?”

Augusta sighed, her frustration evident. “I hardly know where to begin, Mrs. Wheatley,” she
tugged off her gloves and bonnet.

Mrs. Wheatley drew her into the drawing room so as to be out of earshot of the staff as well
as Xander’s study. “Go ahead now.”

“I think Uncle and I were both quite nervous. He introduced me to Lady Denham, of course,”
Augusta said, sitting down on the settee. “She made some comment about Uncle’s father and
wine which I’m sure was some sort of veiled insult but Uncle seemed to dismiss it easily
enough.”

Mrs. Wheatley rolled her eyes. That woman had always been one to make her disdain for
others well known, even those who had passed years before.

“And then we saw Miss Heywood, who looked quite lovely by the way. Nothing like she
does when she’s here as a governess,” she grudgingly acknowledged. “Uncle and I were both
happy to see a familiar face and she was instructing me on the rules of croquet when all of a
sudden this officer appeared and Uncle changed moods rather abruptly.”

“An officer?” She said sharply, her stomach clenching. “What was his name?”

“I didn’t get his name until later but it was Colonel Lennox. Uncle seemed to know him and
it was evident that he doesn’t approve of the man at all . He seemed most perturbed that the
colonel referred to Miss Heywood as a friend.”
She sucked in her breath with an audible hiss. Seeing that man again, after what he’d done,
must have come as quite the shock to Xander. And to have him claim any sort of
acquaintance with Miss Heywood of all people…She gathered herself, dreading what she
was about to ask. “Did your uncle speak to him?”

Augusta shook her head. “Not at first. He merely stated he’d been unaware that the colonel
knew Miss Heywood and then he excused us and walked away. He was clearly upset over
meeting the colonel. Then Miss Heywood introduced me to Mr. and Mrs. Waltham so I didn’t
hear her conversation with Uncle but she persuaded him to stay at the party rather than leave
immediately and stayed with him for a while until he calmed down.”

It wasn’t at all surprising to hear that Miss Heywood had once again worked her magic on
Xander, convincing him to stay for Augusta’s sake. His regard for her was obvious to
everyone in the household and she had strong suspicions that he harbored much deeper
affections as well.

“Things didn’t really go badly until the colonel challenged Uncle to an archery contest.”

Her eyes snapped back to Augusta. The late Mr. Colbourne had prided himself on winning
that silly contest. “And he accepted?”

“What choice did he have? Lady Denham was most insistent and it would have been rude of
him to refuse,” she explained. “Did you know Uncle could use a bow?”

She frowned. “His late father took a great deal of satisfaction in his sons knowing how to do
two things well…riding and archery.” In fact, he’d insisted that his sons spend hours
practicing both until he felt they were sufficiently proficient. It had instilled a love of riding
in Xander at an early age but she doubted he’d touched a bow since he was a boy. He’d
always considered the skill to be useless and had considered the countless hours spent staring
down a target to be wasted.

“Well, he did quite well for the first two rounds. He and the colonel were neck and neck. But
then the colonel insisted that Miss Heywood take his third shot! She tried to refuse but he
wouldn’t take no for an answer. She shot it right into the center of the target! Uncle then
asked Miss Heywood to do him the same honor but she missed the target completely, causing
Uncle to lose the contest. The colonel then said something to Uncle that made him extremely
upset and he grabbed my arm, pushing me towards the carriage,” Augusta was now clearly
irritated. “Miss Heywood tried to stop him and he forbade her from seeing the colonel again.
She told him that he didn’t own her and we left. I’ve never seen either of them so angry, Mrs.
Wheatley.”

Mrs Wheatley closed her eyes for a moment, imagining how Xander had felt. In his eyes, it
must have seemed as if he was being passed over for Colonel Lennox once again.

“Do you know what?” Augusta continued sullenly. “I suspect that Colonel Lennox is quite
taken with Miss Heywood which will only upset Uncle even more seeing as how he clearly
despises the man. And I’m certain after what happened at the party that there’s no way he
will take me to the ball tomorrow night.”
Her eyes darted to the girl. Things were worse than she imagined. It was one thing for the
colonel and Miss Heywood to be acquaintances or even friends. Yet it would be quite
different if the colonel felt affection for her…or her for him. If Xander truly did harbor
feelings for Miss Heywood and she in turn chose the colonel…it could very well shatter him
beyond all repair. And while she had begun to suspect he had feelings for the governess, she
had not been able to glean how Miss Heywood felt about Xander.

She did know, however, that Miss Heywood expected to be treated with respect. If he wanted
her to stay, Xander had little choice but to apologize and provide Miss Heywood with an
explanation of his behavior before it was too late.

*****

Xander sat behind his desk, staring out the window. He’d watched the light fade slowly until
the room around him darkened. Still, he did not move.

Every moment of the garden party seemed seared into his mind. Augusta, nervous but
excited, looking so grown up in Lucy’s dress. Lady Denham and the way she’d brought up
his father’s drinking and then goaded him into competing in that damned archery contest.
Lennox with his smug looks, daring to speak Lucy’s name in his presence. And of course
there was Charlotte.

He’d felt as though the sun had broken free from a thunderous sky when he saw her. She’d
seemed lit from within, radiant and breathtaking. He had never seen her out in Society and
although it didn’t alter his growing feelings for her, it enhanced them, carving out a new facet
of the woman who had come to mean so much to him. Each interaction with her left him
longing to know her better. And now there was an excellent chance that he may never have
the opportunity after the way he’d treated her.

It had all started well enough, he supposed. He’d managed to hold his tongue when greeting
Lady Denham, which he considered a minor victory in itself. But it had all gone downhill
from there. He’d allowed Colonel Lennox to once again hold sway over his thoughts,
infiltrating his head and casting dark shadows. From the moment he’d appeared and claimed
Charlotte as a friend, he’d felt his control slipping. The very thought that she might enjoy the
colonel’s company…or worse, prefer the colonel’s company to his own…sickened him. He
had desperately wanted to remove her from his presence and somehow convince her not to
trust the man but had no means of doing so without revealing their history. He was left
hoping against hope that her intelligence and instincts would allow her to discern Lennox’s
true character before it was too late.

Even if the truth about Lennox revealed itself to her, she still might never forgive him for his
actions during the archery contest.

Oh, that damned contest!

The last thing he’d wanted to do was get involved in a pointless contest with the colonel. It
was obvious from the start the man was only trying to goad him into competing to try to
make him look a fool. Little did the colonel know that his father had raised his sons to shoot a
bow from a very young age and, even though he hadn’t picked up a bow in more than a
decade, he’d had every confidence in his abilities. His attempt to decline to participate hadn’t
been from any concern he’d lose to the colonel but solely because he doubted his ability to
maintain his temper, especially after the sneering comment the man had made about Lucy
only moments before.

He’d somehow managed to preserve control of himself through the first two rounds of
shooting and all might have turned out well enough if Lennox hadn’t insisted on pulling
Charlotte into the middle of it. And then he’d let his own pride make matters worse by
pressing her to repeat her shot on his behalf. He knew immediately from the look on her face
that she didn’t take kindly to him treating her with the same disregard as the colonel had but
by then it was too late. He’d lowered himself to Lennox’s level and he could not rescind his
request without looking the fool.

Xander refused to dwell on whether or not her second shot had been missed intentionally or
not. What had been intentional were the words Lennox had dared to speak to him afterwards.

“All’s fair in love and war. But then I have known both and you have known neither.”

The thin thread of control he’d still been holding onto had snapped at the colonel’s words.
His anger boiling to the surface, ears roaring and stomach churning. He’d stormed out of the
party like a petulant child, dragging Augusta with him. And then, out of desperation to keep
Charlotte away from the man, he’d deigned to tell her…no ordered her…to never see Lennox
again.

The very thought of the way he’d spoken to her shamed him. She’d had every right to react to
his demand in the manner she had. He’d given her no reason for telling her she was to stay
away from Lennox. And if she knew the truth …

A knock came at the door.

He didn’t bother answering, knowing full well that it was Mrs. Wheatley come to try to force
him to eat something. No one else would dare to bother him after he didn’t willingly appear
at dinner and she would enter whether he responded or not. He’d once ignored her knock
multiple times over the span of a few hours and she’d finally entered unbidden, telling him
she was only doing her duty by checking that he hadn’t indeed died of starvation from
missing a single meal.

She made a disapproving sound when she entered, finding him sitting in the dark. Setting the
tray she carried down, she began lighting candles around the room. “I expect you to eat, Mr.
Colbourne.” Her tone and his experience knew she would brook no argument to the contrary.

When he failed to respond, she sighed, her hands clasped before her. “Miss Markham told me
that Colonel Lennox was at the party.”

Xander pinched the bridge of his nose, his head aching. “He was indeed.”

“She also said that he proclaimed Miss Heywood to be a friend.”

His jaw clenched. “I’m sure Miss Heywood has a great many friends. I’m hardly aware of her
social circle.”

“You ordered her to stay away from him.” It was a statement, not a question. “And she was
quite upset as a result.”

He leaned forward, head in hands. “I’m only trying to protect her from that man.”

“I understand, Xander. But does she? Did you tell her why she should stay away from him?”

His eyes shot to her. “How can I? It would require that I tell her everything . About Leonora,
about Lucy…about what I did to her. She would think me a monster.”

And she would be right.

“The late Mrs. Colbourne made her choices, Xander. You were not at fault,” Mrs. Wheatley
said, her voice gentle. “And you know as well as I do that Miss Heywood will expect the
truth from you. She’s not a woman who takes orders without knowing the reason behind
them.”

He looked at her desperately. “ I cannot .”

“Would you rather risk losing her then?”

*****

As she walked along the drive to Heyrick Park, Charlotte could not recall a day she’d looked
forward to less in her life. She dreaded having to see Mr. Colbourne after what had happened
at Lady Denham’s party, much less speak with him.

Drawing closer to the house, she spied him astride Hannibal at the front of the house,
speaking to Mrs. Wheatley. He dug his heels into the horse, heading towards her. She quickly
ducked behind a tree, waiting for him to ride past, hoping he hadn’t seen her. She wasn’t
quite ready to speak with him just yet. Much to her relief, he rode past without slowing.

When Charlotte reached the main floor of the house, she was greeted by the ominous
battering of spinet keys coming from the drawing room. It was easy to see that Augusta was
not in a happy mood.

“Miss Markham”, she greeted her, trying her best to appear light-hearted. “What cheerful
tune is this?”

Augusta pounded the keys one last time. “No, you’re quite right, I’ll stop. And take pause to
apprehend all the wonderful other diversions ahead, in what I’m sure will be an exquisite
day.” She stood and stormed out of the room.

Startled by the force of Augusta’s emotions, Charlotte turned to Mrs. Wheatley. “Whatever is
the matter?”
“The ball,” the housekeeper explained. “She believes the garden party thwarted any chances
of Mr. Colbourne letting her attend.”

That certainly seemed a reasonable conclusion. Given what had occurred at the garden party,
he was unlikely to wish to be thrust once more into Society anytime soon. “Well, naturally.
For a man of Mr. Colbourne’s disposition, to be surrounded by a happy company, enjoying
lively conversation, I think nothing could be more disagreeable.”

“Mind your tone, please, Miss Heywood. Mr. Colbourne doesn’t deserve to be spoken of with
such contempt.” Mrs. Wheatley was steadfast in her defense of the master of the estate.

Charlotte sighed. She hadn’t meant to offend the housekeeper. “Forgive me,” she apologized.
“But the man I’ve seen…”

“And how long have you known him?” Mrs. Wheatley demanded, her tone unforgiving of
any criticism. “There is more to Alexander Colbourne than you can possibly imagine.”

She watched helplessly as Mrs. Wheatley left the room. A day ago she would have agreed
with the older woman. She would have argued with Tom that Mr. Colbourne wasn’t the man
he’d made him out to be. She would have stood up to any criticism Alison might lay at the
feet of her employer. But today…today she did not know that she could defend him to
anyone after the way he’d spoken to her.

The complete lack of regard and respect he’d shown her had caught her completely by
surprise. In the past, when he was angry or disagreed with her, he’d always listened to her
and taken her thoughts into account. He’d repeatedly shown a willingness to amend his ways,
to try harder with Leo and Augusta. He’d joined them at the picnic. He’d had the spinet
tuned. He’d taken Augusta to the party even though he dreaded the very thought of attending.

How could she reconcile what she’d thought she’d known of his character with his actions at
the party? Had Colonel Lennox been correct all along? Surely there was more to his sudden
change in behavior. She desperately wanted to understand but didn’t see how she could if he
would not reveal his true self to her. Would she be forced to admit that her efforts to help
bring happiness to Leo, Augusta and even Mr. Colbourne himself had failed?

*****

“Augusta said Father left Lady Denham’s in a fury. But she wouldn’t say why.”

Leo was proving difficult to direct towards her studies this morning, causing Charlotte no end
of frustration. Compounded with her own anger and confusion over the pain Mr. Colbourne
had caused her, she was beginning to think that it would be better to end lessons for the day
and send Leo off to play.

“I cannot claim to know your father’s mind, Leo. Now concentrate. My elder son is Richard
the Lionheart. My younger is the king who signed the Magna Carta.”

“Oh far too easy,” Leo scoffed. “You’re Eleanor of Aquitaine. So how many soldiers will you
dance with tonight?”
“You’re tiring me with all these questions.” Charlotte huffed, exasperated.

The heavy tread of boots came from the hall and her heart dropped. She’d been hoping to
avoid him, unsure if they could manage a simple conversation without shouting at each other.
She stood as he entered the room, assuming the formal stance of an employee addressing her
employer. She was in no mood to play the happy conciliator. “Sir.”

“Leonora, will you leave us?” Leo’s eyes darted to her father as she left the room, sensing
that he would not be inclined to listen to any objections. He waited until he could no longer
hear her footsteps. “Miss Heywood. I don’t believe we’ve exchanged a word since…”

“Lady Denham’s,” she supplied.

“Yes. I wanted to say that I regret the way that we parted. I didn’t mean to cause offense.”

Charlotte narrowed her eyes, unwilling to budge in her expectations. “You wish to
apologize?”

His chin raised defiantly. “I cannot.”

His lack of justification for his words only increased her frustration. “Or explain?”

“Explain what?” he demanded.

“Your behavior at the garden party.” He turned his head, refusing to meet her eye. “You have
not one word to say?”

“You have no right to demand one,” His words took on a firm tone. “Just stay away from that
man.” With the repetition of his command, he strode from the room.

Gone was the man with cornflowers in his hand, who smiled at her teasing, heeded her advice
and whose warm amber eyes made her feel seen. Instead she was left confused and alone,
wondering just where her future lay if it wasn’t at Heyrick Park.

*****

Charlotte found Augusta sitting disconsolately on the swing under the big tree. “Mrs.
Wheatley tells me you’re disappointed not to be going to the ball.”

“I never harbored much hope that I would,” she admitted, swaying slowly. “But it is just
another reminder of what I have lost.”

“How do you mean?”

“When I was a child, I used to watch my mother get dressed to go out in the evenings. A
feather in her hair. Her pearl drop earrings. Her white gloves,” her voice wavered as tears
filled her eyes. “Sometimes she’d let me try them on. And I’d dance with my father…
standing on his feet. We’d talk about when I’d be old enough to join them.”
Charlotte’s heart broke for her. “Nothing can replace them. But you will dance at plenty of
balls yet.”

She swiped at the tears on her cheek. “How? I don’t know why you are bothering to ready me
for Society since I have an uncle who is determined to avoid it.”

“He took you to the garden party,” she offered, knowing the words meant little to Augusta.

“The only thing the garden party proved is that my Uncle is incapable of change.”

Charlotte hated to admit it but she was beginning to fear that Augusta was correct in her
assessment of her uncle. He’d made strides certainly but unless he was willing to control his
temper, leave his self-inflicted isolation and rejoin Society for Augusta and Leo’s sake,
unlocking the spinet and joining them for a picnic would accomplish little towards turning
Heyrick Park from a house and into a home.

He was unlikely to take it upon himself to attend the ball with Augusta without
encouragement. Which meant she must go to him once more.

*****

Drawing a deep breath, she knocked on the open study door.

“Miss Heywood.”

He seemed surprised to see her after their earlier encounter but his tone was no longer
defensive or demanding. She entered the room hesitantly, arms crossed. He spoke before she
could press her case for Augusta.

“On reflection, the garden party, how I spoke to you,” he chose his words with great care, as
though he’d been considering what to say for some time. “I cannot regret the intention of my
words, but I regret the way I expressed them.”

She searched his face, trying to read his expression. “Is that an apology?”

“I believe so, yes.”

He looked sincerely apologetic. She felt the last bit of her anger dissipate, but her confusion
and frustration remained.

“Then I accept,” she said. “Even if I still do not understand.”

The alteration to his features was subtle, the hopeful look in his eyes fading as he sat down at
his desk, silently dismissing her as he turned his attention to the book in his hand. He was
once again closing himself off, refusing to provide the explanation she continued to seek
from him. Disappointment washed over her. Her hopes of finally gaining clarity and
reconciling with him were fading with each encounter.

Still, she was determined to proceed with her request whether he wanted to hear it or not. “I
wish to speak to you on Miss Markham’s behalf.”
He raised his eyes, “Oh?”

“Mr. Colbourne, every person contends with their past. But is it fair for yours to constrain
Miss Markham’s life? And Miss Colbourne’s?” She recognized another shift in him as he
listened to her plea. Hope sparked inside her as he considered her words. “There is a ball
tonight which Augusta longs to attend but knows she will not. How am I to ready her for
Society when her guardian keeps her so confined? It renders my position untenable.”

As her final words sunk in, his dark eyes locked on her, his expression unreadable. This was a
side of him she had not seen before. She blinked, doubt creeping in.

“Then it seems you have some thinking ahead of you,” his tone gave little away as to his
thinking. “You will inform me once you’ve made a decision.” He returned to his book,
ending their conversation.

His response startled her. Was he really asking her to decide her future at Heyrick Park so
abruptly? First the garden party and now this?

There seemed little doubt in her mind that they had reached a crossroad. She must decide
whether her days as a governess were over, losing her income and independence and leaving
behind Augusta and Leo or stay and continue to remain at the whim of Mr. Colbourne’s ever
changing moods. Her heart ached at the thought. Was she to never know where she stood with
him?

*****

To Xander, the sound of his study door closing was akin to the final knell tolling the end of
Charlotte’s time at Heyrick Park. He had made yet another mistake. If Charlotte already
viewed her position as untenable, his refusal to explain his demand that she stay away from
Lennox, and his subsequent mandate that she consider her position and give him an answer,
was most likely the final straw.

Instinct drew him from his chair to the window as she walked by, heading back towards
town. She would spend her evening at the Parker’s home, preparing for the ball tonight. She
and her sister would have their hair curled and they would don beautiful gowns, long gloves
and jewels that would surely sparkle in the candlelight of the assembly rooms. They would be
asked to dance every dance, twirling the floor and gracing the luckiest of gentlemen with
their smiles.

Colonel Lennox was bound to be present, ready to ask her for the honor of the first dance,
holding her hand in his with his arm around her. He would attempt to impress her with stories
of his military heroics and charm her with his witty remarks and compliments. He may even
tell her the story of a beautiful young woman named Lucy that he’d once courted…

He was left with few options.

He could accept Charlotte’s decision to leave and likely never see her again. Leo would be
devastated and Augusta would once again direct her anger towards him, and rightly so. Life
at Heyrick Park would return to the way it was before she’d arrived, dark and lifeless…the
 mausoleum it had been since his mother had died so many years ago. He refused to consider
how his own heart would be impacted by her leaving. Any pain her absence caused would
surely be well deserved.

Alternatively, he could ask her to stay. He could escort Augusta to the ball tonight with the
desperate hope that Charlotte would see that he had listened to her and that he was trying to
be a better man. He could tell her just how much they had been changed by her influence and
that they would all be bereft without her. He would wear his finest clothes and spend all night
in the company of the Ton, ignoring the stares and whispered comments about his conduct at
the garden party. He would beg her indulgence and apologize in earnest as many times as she
desired him to do so if that’s what she required to convince her to stay.

Xander straightened his waistcoat, a new sense of determination filling him. Leaving the
sanctuary of his study, he strode purposefully into the drawing room. As expected, Augusta
sat moodily staring out the window, despondent over her assumption that she was not
attending the ball. She turned a wary eye towards him as he approached.

“Augusta, how long will it take for you to prepare for the ball tonight?”

Chapter End Notes

Thanks for the sweet comments about not giving up after the last chapter. It means a lot
to me. The made-up content has proven far easier to write than filling in the gaps in the
scenes from the show.
 Why Him?
Chapter Summary

Xander and Augusta have a moment. Despite his protests that he does not dance, Xander
knows all the steps. Charlotte learns that Lennox is a dirty, rotten scoundrel.

Scripted content and characters are the work of the Sanditon writers and we thank them
all.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Why Him?

The house was aflutter with activity as everyone prepared for the young master and his niece
to attend the midsummer ball. One would have thought royalty was visiting with the
excitement that buzzed through the halls between the girls and the female members of the
staff. The only one who didn’t seem excited was the master of the estate himself. In fact, if
pressed, he seemed very likely to say he’d rather have a tooth extracted by his eight year old
daughter than attend that evening's fete.

Mrs. Wheatley found the master himself in his study staring at the flames in the fireplace in
nervous anticipation, his foot bouncing anxiously. “I’ve had a bath readied, Sir.”

Xander raised his head from where his chin rested in his hand. “Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.”

There seemed to be more causing him concern than just the idea of attending a ball for the
first time in a decade. “Is something wrong, Mr. Colbourne?”

He scrubbed his hands briskly across his face. “What if she says no?”

She looked at him sharply. There was no need to clarify who he was referring to but the
particular question he meant to ask her most definitely did. “And what would she be saying
no to, Sir?”

His breath escaped him in a puff of air. “I told her that she must consider her position here
and let me know her decision.”

“Xander,” she sighed.

“Do not lecture me,” he shook his head. “I regretted the words as soon as I’d said them. And
now I must apologize and ask her to stay.”
“Miss Heywood is a woman who knows her own mind. If she feels she can no longer stay
under the circumstances, then you will be looking for a new governess.” She watched him
closely. “Or are you concerned about losing more than a governess?”

He sank lower into the chair. “I did not mean for any of this to happen.”

“You know more than most that there are things in this life that we cannot control, Xander.
Miss Heywood has been the best thing to come into this house since your mother passed.
She’s given you and the girls a new chance at life. And you deserve to be happy just as Miss
Augusta and Miss Leonora do. But if you’re at all uncertain...”

She did not yet have the words to share her thoughts with him. More than anything she
wanted him to be happy, to feel that he deserved to be happy. And she had no doubt that Miss
Heywood would bring him…them…all the happiness that had been missing in the house for
so long. But Xander was the master of the estate and Miss Heywood was his employee. It
placed them both in a precarious position…one not entered into lightly if their affections
were not those of a deep and true love rather than the hopeful attachment of a man who had
been starved of affection to a beautiful young woman who just happened to stumble into his
life.

He had denied himself his true feelings for so long, keeping them locked away so he would
not be subject to the pain and fear that had hurt him so badly in the past. That he was
allowing himself to feel so strongly for Miss Heywood was a small miracle in itself. Their
feelings for each other would have to be very strong indeed to weather the storm of gossip
and speculation such a marriage would cause…the same gossip and speculation he’d endured
as a result of his first wife’s actions. Would he be able to endure it again with Miss Heywood
at his side?

She knew Miss Heywood to be an intelligent, compassionate woman with a strong mind, will
and spirit. She was more than a match for Xander’s intellect, honor, and integrity, her bright
optimism a perfect counterpoint to his moods and silent contemplations. But did she love
him? Would she wish to marry the very man she’d argued with all summer? The same man
who’d demanded she stay away from the colonel, who’d told her to consider her position
even though he desperately wanted her to stay?

Xander stood, drawing air deep into himself and letting it out slowly. “There are no
certainties in life, Mrs. Wheatley. Isn’t that what you always told me? That we can only make
the best of what we have?”

“I did indeed, Sir.”

“Then I shall try my best.”

*****

“How did you fair with Mr. Colbourne today?” Georgiana asked.

Charlotte exhaled a huff of air, her frustration with the situation surrounding her employer
spilling out. “I fear everyone’s judgment was sound. About him and the imprudence of my
ambition.”

Georgiana squeezed her hand sympathetically. “What will you do if you’re no longer a
governess?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. Her ability to stay in Sanditon and support herself
independently relied on her position as a governess. If she wasn’t able to find another
position, she would have no other choice than to return home. And how could she ever be
satisfied in Willingden now after having experienced an entirely different life here with the
Parkers, Georgiana and all of her other friends?

“You’re not going to return to Willingden and marry that farmer?”

“Ralph? No.” She was adamant that marrying Ralph Starling was not an option, despite their
parents'...and Ralph’s…preference for the match. While she cared about him as much as she
did any other life-long friend, she did not love him.

“I don’t understand why you won’t consider Colonel Lennox,” Georgiana pressed. “He’s
handsome, noble, you enjoy each other’s company.”

Charlotte sighed. She wished her friend and sister would understand that she had no interest
in the colonel’s affections. “Georgiana.”

“You can’t recapture what you had with Sidney. I will never love anyone as I loved Otis. That
doesn’t mean I can’t find different kinds of passion.”

“Charlotte.” They both turned as Alison descended the staircase, resplendent in her white
gown.

“Allison,” Georgiana gushed, “I’ve not seen that gown before.”

“It is my May Day dress from home.”

Charlotte smiled as she took her sister’s arm, pleased she’d changed her mind about attending
despite her disastrous encounter with the captain at the garden party. “What convinced you to
come?”

“His shame, not mine,” she said defiantly. “Why should I hide away?”

“Well then, your liveliest spirits,” Georgiana said pointedly to both sisters, clearly determined
that they should all make the most of the evening. “And Charlotte, since this is our last night
as a happy trio, you must promise to enjoy yourself.”

“Fine, yes,” she sighed, resigned to pleasing her friend despite still being weighed down by
the decision she must make about her future. “I promise.”

“I think this means she will dance with the colonel,” Alison smirked.

“I did not say that.”

Georgiana took her hand firmly. “No, but when you’re wrapped in his strong arms, I shall be
studying you closely. I somehow doubt you’ll maintain your present composure.”

She rolled her eyes with exasperation. “Oh, you’re both impossible.”

*****

“Thank you for taking me tonight, Uncle,” Augusta’s words cut the silence inside the carriage
as it rolled along the cliff road towards town. “I know you do not particularly enjoy such
events.”

Xander pulled his gaze from the window where moonlight reflected on the waves breaking
on the shoreline. “You do not need to thank me, Augusta. If you are to be out in Society, I
must get used to accompanying you.”

She chewed her lip. “Still, I am sorry that it falls on you to be my chaperone. You did not ask
to be in such a position.”

He was glad the carriage was steeped in darkness so she could not see his expression. “No
more than you asked to be in your position,” he said softly. “I know that I haven’t been the
best guardian, Augusta and it is I who should apologize to you for my behavior at the garden
party. I let my emotions get the better of me and I acted poorly as a result. I promise I will try
harder for both you and Leo’s sake.”

She raised a hand to her cheek, he suspected to wipe away a tear. “I know that you did not
wish to compete in the archery contest, Uncle. And it was evident that Colonel Lennox was
trying to provoke you. I do not believe that Miss Heywood missed her shot on purpose so that
you would lose.”

Xander sighed. “I do not blame Miss Heywood for anything, Augusta. Neither the colonel
nor I should have drawn her into the contest. And it is of no matter to me that I lost. There is
no pride to be gained in winning, even if my father thought there was. What would I do with
a silver arrow? You heard Lady Denham, there are at least three of the silly things somewhere
in the house. They are probably in a trunk in the attic. I should find them and have them
melted down into something useful.”

“Perhaps you could make them into real silver arrow heads for Leo,” Augusta suggested, her
amusement at the idea obvious. “I am certain she would cause no damage to the house or
anyone’s health with a real bow and arrow.”

“That would certainly be a sight to behold,” he chuckled softly, appreciating the image she
conjured in his mind of an overjoyed Leo yielding a bow far more than the ones of the
archery contest and the immediate aftermath it replaced. It filled him with an unexpected
warmth to have Augusta smile and laugh with him after so many months of their constant
disagreements.

“She will think she is Chiron the centaur from the story you and Miss Heywood told us at the
picnic.”
The memories of that day beneath the tree were like a sweet balm to the ache he’d felt since
the horrendous way he’d spoken to Charlotte. Her impact on Leo and Augusta had already
been apparent and it was then that he’d first realized the effect she was having on him as
well. Belatedly he realized that his reluctance to allow Augusta out into Society had as much
to do with his desire to avoid the company of the Ton as with Augusta’s recalcitrant attitude
at the time. And he would never have approved of Leo taking part in any such activity as
archery before Charlotte had upended his previously held ideas of what it meant to be an
accomplished young lady. It now seemed quite normal to not find Leo’s desire to take part in
traditional male activities disconcerting. How much Charlotte had changed him without him
even realizing it!

He could no longer imagine a life without her in it. Tonight, he must convince her to stay.

*****

“Miss Heywood.”

Charlotte looked up from her conversation with Alison and Georgiana to find Colonel
Lennox approaching.

He held out his hand to her. “Permit me the honor of the first dance.”

Alison reached for her glass, slipping it from her hand before she could speak. “She would be
delighted.”

Charlotte suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at her sister’s meddling. Since it was her last
night in Sanditon, she would try to humor her and Georgiana in their matchmaking. She
certainly was not one to be rude and she did love to dance after all. What harm could come
from dancing with the man, despite what Mr. Colbourne might think?

“Doesn’t seem so long ago since the first time we danced together.”

Charlotte moved through the steps of the traditional dance, the music cheerful. “To think how
much has happened since that night.”

“Isn’t it remarkable how the path of one’s life can be so altered in just a few short weeks?”

How true his words were. She could have little imagined the path her life would take this
summer. And now she must decide her future. The thought dampened her spirit. It seemed
she could not keep Mr. Colbourne from inching into her thoughts.

He seemed to read her thoughts. “It’s most agreeable to enjoy your company without fear of
interruption by your employer.”

“Quite,” she agreed. “Although I cannot say with certainty how long he shall remain my
employer.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Does that suggest you’ve been giving some thought to your future, Miss
Heywood?”
Charlotte spotted a dispirited Alison sitting alone across the room. “Excuse me, Colonel. My
sister needs me.”

She spent some time in the company of Alison and Georgiana, dancing and laughing. She had
not spent as much time with them as she should have over the past weeks. Georgiana seemed
quite taken with Lockhart, much to Mary’s chagrin and Alison was much improved as the
night went on, her anger with the dubious Captain Carter finally dissipated after she’d told
him in no uncertain terms just what she thought of him. Only the pressing weight of her
looming decision prevented her from fully enjoying herself.

“Charlotte.”

Turning in the direction of Alison’s gaze, her heart skipped at the sight of Mr. Colbourne
standing in the doorway. Surprise mingled with relief. He had taken her words to heart once
more. His dark eyes met hers, the hint of a self-conscious smile on his lips. She left Alison,
moving to greet Augusta who was heading towards her with her face lit up from happiness at
attending her first ball.

“I don’t know what kind of spell you’ve put on him,” she grasped her hands.

Charlotte smiled tentatively, reluctant to take credit for his change of heart. “I’m sure it
wasn’t just my words.”

“And I’m sure it was. You must never leave us!” She turned to her uncle as he joined them.
“The next dance is about to begin.”

He ducked his head with a huff of embarrassed laughter. “You know I do not dance.”

“It is a ball, Mr. Colbourne. Why else are you here?” An awkward tension still lingered
between them from their earlier conversation. Yet there seemed to be something more in his
eyes when he looked at her. An apology perhaps? Or…a promise? Surely not…Her pulse
jumped.

“I’m asking myself that same question.”

Before she could respond, the music began again, heralding the next dance. Augusta sent her
uncle a pleading look. “Uncle, will you really not even try to dance? I have not been
introduced to anyone else.”

He shot her a helpless look, pleading silently for some form of intercession, although she
knew he was aware that as an unmarried gentleman, etiquette dictated that he was expected to
dance. She shrugged sympathetically. “I’m afraid you have no choice, Mr. Colbourne.”

His head fell momentarily in defeat before he straightened reluctantly and extended his hand
to his niece, a look of resignation on his face. Charlotte couldn’t help but smile as Augusta
gleefully led him away. She glanced around looking for her own partner as her card was
nearly full.

*****
Xander lined up next to his niece on the dance floor. At least he recognized the music, years
of being forced to dance allowing him to recall the expected steps surprisingly well. Augusta
moved into the circle of his arms, a startled smile on her face. They moved through the steps
with notable proficiency given her lack of experience and how long it had been since he’d
even attempted to dance.

Augusta spun away from him and he realized quite suddenly that his new partner was none
other than Miss Heywood herself. His heart began to race as his arm slipped around her and
her hand came to rest in his. Never had they been so close, and he savored the feel of holding
her. She looked up at him with a look of surprise as they danced together, their bodies
moving with remarkable ease in concert with each other. Their hands raised, palms pressing
together, the sheerness of her gloves doing little to prevent the warmth of their hands
reaching the other.

He drew in a ragged breath. “I wonder, have you given any more consideration to your
position?” His hand moved to her shoulder, one fingertip grazing her skin ever so slightly.

“A great deal.”

He clasped her hand, pulling it against his chest as they circled each other. He wondered for
the briefest of moments if she could feel his heart pounding against the back of her hand. “I
hope we might persuade you to stay.”

“Why is that?” Her warm brown eyes melted into his.

“Augusta and Leonora have been transformed by your influence. I cannot explain the effect
you have had, Miss Heywood, on all of us. It’s as if you’ve restored us back to life. We would
be bereft to lose you now.”

The words spilled from his heart as much as they did his lips. He knew beyond all doubt that
he would be nothing without all that she had brought into his life. The light and happiness
and love that she brought into their house was all because of her. He did not merit the gift of
her presence, but he would do whatever it took to prove to her that he could become the man
she deserved. He knew he did not have the words to express himself so he pleaded to her
with his eyes, trying desperately to make his feelings known to her as they danced, their arms
entwined.

All too soon, the music ended and their hands separated. He felt the loss of her in an instant,
as though the air had been sucked out of him. His eyes raced over her face, attempting to
glean anything of her own feelings and finding only a look of overwhelmed surprise and
confusion.

She shifted away from him. “Excuse me.”

With that, she hurried away, leaving him standing alone, his head spinning with unanswered
questions.

*****
Charlotte sought the refuge of the balcony after her dance with Mr. Colbourne, her head a
jumble of thoughts and emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.

She had not anticipated her reaction to being held in his arms, the look in his eyes as they’d
danced or the words he’s spoken to her. The sudden surge of attraction she’d felt as his arm
had curled around her and her hand had settled in his startled her in its intensity. She’d felt
alight as though a thousand candles were ablaze within her even as a thousand bees hummed
through her body and a thousand butterflies took flight in her stomach. She’d felt breathless
and weightless…as if she was back in the hot air balloon, rising up to the far reaches of the
sky, tethered to the earth only by the strong grasp of his hand pressing hers over his heart.

Alison approached from the staircase; concern etched on her face. “Charlotte! What is the
matter?”

“I don’t understand. Dancing just now…I felt alive in a way I haven’t since…”

“You are allowed to have feelings for another man,” her sister insisted gently. “That is not a
betrayal.”

He was not Sidney and she had never compared them, as different as they were from one
another. And she could not even compare this feeling with how she’d felt with Sidney as
distinct as this was. Not better or worse…not more or less intense or exciting or scary. Yet it
was thrilling and confusing in its unexpectedness. “But…why him?”

“Why not him?” Alison smiled. She looked past Charlotte’s shoulder. “Speaking of him…”

Charlotte turned, her heart leaping in anticipation. But it was not Mr. Colbourne who had
climbed the staircase behind her. Instead, she found herself face to face with Colonel Lennox.
“Miss Heywood.”

Alison’s overly pleased smile at seeing the colonel meant she was oblivious to her silent
entreaty not to leave her alone with the man. “I shall see you downstairs.”

He moved to stand next to her. “I hoped we could conclude our conversation at last.”

A sense of apprehension washed over her, the myriad of emotions she’d felt only moments
before replaced with the singular anticipation of what she feared was about to happen.

“Army life defines a man. I have never been defeated on the field of battle but now I fear I
am quite conquered. I have never met anyone comparable, Miss Heywood. You surprise me
constantly. Nothing…nothing would delight me so much as to be constant to you.”

“I…”

“There’s a large estate along the coast with very pleasant aspect,” he continued. “I took the
liberty of making inquiries.”

“I do not understand.”
“Of course you do,” he insisted, ignoring her words. “I believe you have understood since our
first meeting. I humbly beg of you…give me your hand…I wish you to be my wife.”

Her stomach sank at his words, any hope that he might not pursue this particular line of
conversation rapidly dispelled. “I…I thought I’d been clear. I do not wish to marry.”

“The time for playing games is over.”

“I play no game,” she insisted, her frustration rising. “I am perfectly serious.”

“You worry I wouldn’t suit a domestic life. I assure you I will.”

“I…I cannot marry you.”

“You can’t wish to continue as a governess. I’m offering to save you from that squalid
existence.”

A flash of annoyance rushed through her. “I do not love you!”

“Love will grow if you let it.” He pulled her closer with the hand he still held in his. Leaning
in, he pressed his lips to hers as he grasped at her neck. She pushed him away even as she
struggled to yank her arm free. His fingers dug into her wrist as he sneered at her. “Be
sensible of my rank! Know your own.”

“I know who I am!” she cried, stunned by his unforeseen assault. “I’ve never pretended to be
anyone else!”

She fled quickly down the stairs, gasping for breath, her heart pounding in her chest. She
could think of little but getting as far away from the man as possible.

*****

Xander had lost sight of Charlotte after their dance. He’d checked on Augusta before trying
to find her again, hoping he could speak with her and reassure himself that she was not upset
with him. He’d assumed she’d gone for a refreshment or to seek the company of her sister or
her friends but saw no sight of her. His gaze swept over the crowd as he walked from room to
room.

Charlotte was descending the balcony stairs when he caught sight of her, brushing past a
couple. He moved quickly up the stairs to intercept her. “Miss Heywood.”

He was startled to find that she was quite distraught, her breathing ragged, her face flushed
and her eyes bright with unshed tears. “What is it?” His brow wrinkled with concern as he
attempted to discern the reason for her distress before his gaze found Colonel Lennox above
them in the balcony, looking down upon them. The sharp knife of anger twisted inside him.
“What did he say to you?”

She moved past him down the stairs, hurrying away. He lengthened his stride, catching up to
her easily and steering her towards a secluded area out of the way of the crowd. She stood
with her eyes closed, her breathing slowly returning to normal.
“Are you alright?” He asked quickly. “Did he hurt you?”

She shook her head, refusing to look at him. “No…not really. He…he proposed to me and he
said things that upset me when I refused. That is all that happened.”

Her countenance indicated that there was much more that she was not telling him. He looked
past her, seeking a glimpse of the man who dared to hurt her. He shifted forward, intent on
locating Lennox and…

“No!” she hissed; her voice low but firm as she moved to block him from leaving. “I am fine.
I have turned him down and it is over. You are not to get involved in this.”

He bowed his head and fought back the anger inside of him. He knew she was right, getting
involved in another battle with the colonel…words or fists…would do no good. It was
enough that she had refused him and would have nothing more to do with the man. “This is
what I tried to warn you of.”

“You didn’t warn me of anything,” she argued, her heightened emotions now spilling out of
her in frustration. “You ordered me to avoid him and gave no reason!”

“My only thought was to protect you from a man I knew to be dangerous.”

“Then why did you not say? All I had was the colonel’s account.”

His head snapped up at her revelation. So, Lennox had spoken of their history to her after all.

“He told me that you were not to be trusted. That…” She stopped suddenly, realizing she was
about to reveal the truth of what the colonel had told her of him despite her previous denial of
knowing anything of the history between the two of them at Lady Denham’s party.

“Go on,” he prompted her to continue, struggling to hold his temper in check.

She hesitated for a moment, her voice softening. “That you stole the woman he loved and
destroyed her." Fury surged through him once more. He could hardly believe the man had
lowered himself so low as to lie in such a manner. He’d had no reason to even bring up their
mutual past to Charlotte other than petty spitefulness and to suit his own agenda in
convincing her to resign her position so she would be more amenable to marrying him. “That
is what he told you?”

“So, what is the truth?” Her irritation was clearly evident. “I have had enough of these
endless riddles and evasions. Of trying to find meaning in your silences.”

Xander’s stomach clenched as he looked away, unable to meet her eyes. She was leaving him
with no other choice but to tell her everything or risk losing her forever. For all his efforts to
keep his past hidden, he could no longer deny her the truth, even if it meant she would think
less of him once she knew. “This is not the place.”

“I must know who you are.” Her words were a final plea for him to reveal himself to her, her
brown eyes searching his for the answers she’d been begging him for.
 “Uncle?” Augusta approached them, a questioning look on her face. “Miss Heywood. What
is it?”

“We’re leaving.” His eyes locked on Charlotte. For good or bad, his decision had been made.
“Miss Heywood will come with us.”

Chapter End Notes

I can't believe I've voluntarily written over 40,000 words or that a single other person
out there in the world cares enough to read all of them. Cheers to you all!
 Forgive Yourself
Chapter Summary

Xander finally comes clean about his history with Lennox and Mrs. Wheatley might not
have approved of Xander and Charlotte having some alone time but they sure did.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Forgive Yourself

Charlotte desperately searched for Mary in the crowded assembly rooms, barely taking note
of Alison happily dancing with Captain Fraser as though no other couple shared the floor.
Finally finding her with Miss Hankins near the refreshments, she schooled her features as
best she could, hoping her flushed face would lend itself to the lie she was about to tell.

“Mary, I’m not feeling well,” she said as meekly as she possibly could. “I think I shall return
to Trafalgar House to lie down.”

“Oh, my dear,” Mary looked at her sympathetically, “shall I have Tom fetch the carriage for
you?”

“No, please, it’s not necessary. Mr. Colbourne and his niece are leaving and have offered to
escort me in their carriage. There’s no reason for you to go to any trouble. I’m sure I’ll be
fine after I’ve had time to rest.”

Mary and Miss Hankins made a few more sympathetic overtures but allowed her to escape
with little protest and no signs that they suspected her of any deception. Guilt knotted in her
stomach as she left the assembly rooms, finding Augusta and Mr. Colbourne waiting for her
at the bottom of the steps. She raised her eyes to his as he held out his hand, trying to discern
if his thoughts were as tumultuous as her own but found his expression indecipherable.

Taking his hand, she entered the carriage to sit next to Augusta who gave her a quizzical look
as she tried to comprehend why they were leaving the ball so early and why her governess
was leaving with them. Charlotte forced a smile, trying to reassure Augusta as well as herself
that everything was perfectly fine. Mr. Colbourne climbed into the carriage, pulling the door
closed behind him. If she’d meant to change her mind about accompanying him back to
Heyrick Park, it was too late.

No one spoke as the carriage lumbered its way through the streets of Sanditon towards the
cliffs. Apprehension lay heavy between them. His proximity in the enclosed space seemed to
heighten her senses as she became all too aware of just how close he was and how it hadn’t
been that long ago that he’d held her in his arms as they danced.
“You danced remarkably well, Uncle, for someone who says they do not dance under any
circumstances,” Augusta tentatively broke the silence, unsure if she should speak when her
uncle and governess seemed to so purposefully be avoiding conversation.

He turned from looking out of the window, his fingers drumming nervously on his knee. “I
said I do not dance, Augusta, not that I cannot dance.”

Despite feeling as though every nerve in her body was on edge, Charlotte couldn’t help but
be amused by his rationalization. It somehow seemed a very Mr. Colbourne thing to say. She
somehow doubted the man was not at least proficient in any task or subject he’d ever been
compelled to study…including dancing…whether he wished to be or not. His very nature,
reserved as it was, drove him to master any task set before him else he would feel a failure.

“Did you not think that my uncle danced rather well, Miss Heywood?”

Charlotte raised her eyes briefly to his, thankful he could not see her blushing in the dark. “I
daresay you both did quite well. I was rather impressed.”

Her mind circled back the dance they’d so recently shared. She’d had little time to consider
his words with Colonel Lennox’s proposal and their own subsequent exchange. Now, with
him sitting across from her, his words echoed in her ears.

“I cannot explain the effect you have had, Miss Heywood, on all of us. It’s as if you’ve
restored us back to life. We would be bereft to lose you now.”

As much as being held in his arms as they’d danced had made her feel alive in a way she
hadn’t experienced since Sidney, his words had left her feeling quite undone. For although
he’d used the words “us” and “we”, it had been clear to her that he’d been speaking for
himself. He had been restored back to life by her presence. He would be bereft without her if
she left.

Memories of their interactions over the past months came flooding back to her. The looks
they’d exchanged, the way she’d felt at the slightest of his touches, the cornflowers he’d so
freely given….It had all been happening without her even realizing it. And his determined
effort to keep her away from the colonel…even if his actions had been poorly considered, his
strong reaction to learning she was acquainted with Lennox had been influenced by more
than her being just his governess.

And now he had promised he would tell her the truth of his history with the colonel. But
would it finally give her the reassurance she so desperately craved that he was not the man
the colonel claimed? It was evident after his proposal that Colonel Lennox was not the
honorable war hero she’d thought he was. But would Mr. Colbourne’s version of the story
reveal his true character or merely leave her more confused?

Risking a glance, her pulse quickened at the arresting look she saw in his eyes. There was a
charge in the air as though lightning was about to strike during a summer storm. A shiver ran
through her and gooseflesh dotted her skin as she pulled her arms close, pressing them
against her stomach. A slash of moonlight through the window briefly lit his face,
illuminating that small wrinkle of concern that had appeared between his brows when he’d
found her on the stairs after Lennox’s proposal. He was just as aware of her every movement
as she was of his.

Charlotte tore her eyes away from his, her heart pounding. With one dance her world had
been turned upside down. Everything she thought she’d known, she now questioned. No
matter what happened, whatever he told her tonight, things would never be the same between
them.

*****

Xander stepped out of the carriage, offering his hand first to Augusta and then Charlotte. He
moved to the front of the carriage and spoke briefly to the driver, asking him to hold the
carriage ready, before turning back just as Augusta was entering the house. He motioned for
Charlotte to precede him inside.

She hesitated, her hands gripping her reticule as she looked up at the house as though she was
entering it for the first time. They were taking a risk, he knew. If anyone suspected they had
left the ball together and she’d come to his home…it would be quite the scandal, her
reputation ruined. “Please,” he said softly. She nodded and they followed Augusta inside, the
doors closing behind them.

“Miss Leonora has been impossible. Up and down from her bed all evening,” Mrs. Wheatley
entered the foyer, voicing her frustration over Leo’s behavior while they’d been away. She
stopped mid-sentence, startled at the sight of the governess in their company. “Miss
Heywood, I was not expecting you.”

His eyes darted to Charlotte before he ducked his head, heat creeping up his neck. Before he
could speak, a white-gowned flurry came barreling into the hall.

“Did you dance, Augusta?” Leo ran to her cousin, wrapping her arms around her neck. Her
face was lit with excitement, anxious to hear all of the details about the ball. Her eyes caught
sight of her governess, “Miss Heywood!”

“Come girls, let us leave your father and Miss Heywood in peace.” Mrs. Wheatley’s tone
carried a note of disapproval and Xander did not miss the pointed look his housekeeper’s
eyes conveyed to him…a look that spoke volumes.

Charlotte smiled tentatively, lacking her usual obvious pleasure at seeing Leo. He certainly
could not fault her, her nervousness appeared to mirror his own. Charlotte squeezed Leo’s
hand. “I’ll tell you everything tomorrow,” she promised gently.

They stood, silent, as Mrs. Wheatley followed the girls to the staircase. She sent him one last
look, a warning to behave himself if ever he’d seen one.

Finding themselves alone, he cleared his throat. “I thought we might…sit in the drawing
room, if that’s alright?”

His study seemed somehow inappropriate for their conversation after so many tense
conversations that had taken place within its four walls. Tonight was not a conversation
between employer and employee. Her eyes swept his face, trying to read his expression
before she nodded in agreement. Picking up a candle holder, he led her into the dark room
moving quickly to light candles around the room.

“One moment and I’ll stoke the fire.”

Charlotte moved closer, holding out her hand for the candle he held. “Here, let me.”

A smile tugged at his lips. He doubted she was ever one to sit still when there were tasks that
needed done and she could assist to hurry their completion. Perhaps she was grateful for
something to do as much as he was. She moved quickly around the room as he crouched to
stoke the fire, the flames snapping to life as the room grew incrementally brighter around
them with each candle she lit.

Finally satisfied the fire would require no further tending, he stood. “If you’ll just excuse me
for a minute,” he struggled to keep his voice calm. “I’ll return in a moment.”

Without waiting for a response, he strode out of the room to his study. Exhaling sharply, he
gripped the back of his chair for a moment, trying to steady himself. He was about to bare his
darkest secret to her. He had never imagined sharing what had happened with Lucy to
anyone, convinced he would take it to his grave for her sake…he figured he owed her that
much at least. Apprehension seeped through him as he considered what her reaction might be
to hearing what he was about to tell her. He was the first to admit that he’d not been the
husband Lucy deserved. Their marriage had never been a love match but he had tried…at
least at first, before she’d met him .

Would Charlotte think less of him once she knew how he’d treated Lucy when she’d needed
him most?

Desperately, he clung to the hope that she would understand, that she would not blame him
for his actions. When he’d held her in his arms tonight, he’d felt overcome by her. Her touch,
her scent, the look in her eyes when they’d met his…it had all been so intoxicating. And
when her warm brown eyes had met his, he’d dared to dream that she just might feel the
same way, as impossible as that seemed.

He clenched his eyes shut, slowly counting as he drew in each breath before letting it out
through pursed lips until he felt a bit more calm. He quickly removed his tailcoat and poured
two glasses of port. Although he almost never drank, he might just need it tonight.

*****

Charlotte sat anxiously waiting in the drawing room for him to return. She removed her
gloves, placing them carefully on the table and smoothed her gown nervously over her knees.
This was not how she’d anticipated the night unfolding when she and Alison and Georgiana
had been laughing together as they’d entered the assembly rooms.

The sound of footsteps growing closer announced his return. He’d removed his coat and
carried two glasses in his hands. She took one from him, grateful to have something to do
with her hands, even as he set his own glass down, leaving it untouched. He walked away and
for a moment she thought he was leaving again but he merely paused to close the doors so
they would not be overheard by anyone passing by. She bit her bottom lip. There was no
going back now. They were alone in a room together behind closed doors and she would be
ruined if word got out.

He stood next to the settee for a moment as though reconsidering his actions before drawing
in a rapid breath and sitting down next to her, their knees nearly touching.

“You don’t have to…” she began, but the words stuck in her mouth. She had begged him for
the truth of his character and together they had thrown propriety out the window. It hardly
seemed fair to now tell him he need not explain after all.

He swallowed hard. “No, you asked for an explanation of my actions and I shall give it to
you, for you deserve to understand after the way I treated you. But it is not easy for me to
speak on this matter and few people know what I’m about to say. In fact, with the passing of
Augusta’s parents, only myself and Mrs. Wheatley know everything.”

Charlotte felt her heart skip, the seriousness of his words was not lost on her. Finally, he
began to speak.

“Lucy and I married young. I had not long inherited this house,” his gaze roved around the
room. “She wanted to stay in London, at the heart of Society, and I…did not. So I came back
here. She stayed for a final season.”

It wasn’t surprising to hear that he’d much preferred Heyrick Park to the bustle of London.
Knowing the reserved man that he was, she could hardly imagine him embedded in Society.
“That’s where she met Colonel Lennox?”

He nodded, twisting at the ring on his hand. “Captain…as he then was. I never thought what
strangers she and I had become,” his eyes seemed locked on some distant image only he
could see. “She wrote, delaying her return, pleading illness. Months went by without a word.
At last my curiosity conquered my pride. I went to London…only to find that she was with
child.”

His eyes met hers, desperately trying to discern her reaction as she sought to read the truth
from his expression. “His child?” He nodded, confirming her suspicion.

His stunning revelation sent her mind reeling. She could have never imagined the truth he’d
just revealed and how difficult it must have been for him to share such a secret with her. Here
was the reason for the enmity he felt for the colonel at last. Oh, the anger he must have felt at
seeing the man again after all these years! And the sneering looks and condescending words
the colonel had lobbed at him, had clearly been aimed at causing him further humiliation and
pain. It must have been torture for him to even be near the man. And that silly contest! The
colonel had intentionally goaded him into competing…and then had drawn her into it as
well…all out of hateful spite and a childish delight in inflicting further injury on him.

At last she understood his desperate order for her to stay away from the colonel and why he’d
refused to explain himself when she’d demanded that he do so. While his means of
expressing himself had been wrought with anger and had caused them both torment as a
result, she could see that he’d truly been trying to protect her. And she could not blame him
for his reticence in explaining his reasoning for his actions. Such a secret was not one to be
shared lightly, certainly not with his governess. That he was sharing it with her now, spoke
volumes. He trusted her and more than that, he was willing to share the truth because he did
not want to lose her.

“He’d abandoned her,” he continued. “And she was too scared and ashamed to face me. I
showed her no pity…no compassion.”

“You bear no blame,” she insisted.

“The words I spoke torment me to this day,” the pain in his voice pierced her heart. “She
became a ghost of her former self. And not long after the child was born, she…”

Charlotte felt tears prick at her eyes. “Go on,” she encouraged gently.

“Lucy knew she was not strong…when she walked out into the rain that night, she must have
known.”

The enormity of what he’d done slowly dawned on her. His wife had been unfaithful to him,
bearing another man’s child and yet he’d given that child his name and raised her in his home
as his own. He’d spent the last ten years berating himself for how he’d reacted to discovering
his wife’s infidelity, blaming himself for her death. He’d refused to abandon Leo as Lennox
had abandoned her mother, despite the facts of her birth. How difficult it must be for him to
look at the child of his wife and the colonel on a daily basis.

“That is why it pains you to be in Leo’s company. She’s a living reminder.”

He seemed startled at her words, as though only just realizing the truth of why he’d held
himself so distant from Leo all these years.

“I so wanted to tell you but I was afraid of what you would think of me,” he admitted, his
eyes pleading for her understanding and compassion.

She grasped at his hand, his fingers curling around hers. “You should not endure such
recrimination after so long,” she insisted, desperate for him to stop punishing himself.
“Forgive yourself.”

“I cannot,” he shook his head. “I ca…I cannot.”

“You must. Else the past will thwart the future. A future that I imagine could be very dear
indeed.”

The hope and need on his face took her breath away. Slowly, he leaned closer, as though he
was ever so carefully asking permission for what was about to occur. Her heart began to race
even as her body stilled, anticipation building. She tightened her hold on his hand in silent
approval and his fingers pressed against hers in return. Drawing in a deep breath, he filled her
senses, the scent of him wafted over her, all fresh soap and spice and warmth radiating from
his skin. Her eyes closed a moment before she felt his nose brush her cheek just as his lips
met hers.

Any attempt at restraint disappeared in a flurry. It was as though a door that had been barely
held shut against a storm had burst open. His hand slipped from her grasp only to move to her
waist, tugging her closer. His lips caught hers as she rushed to do the same, accepting his kiss
and returning it in kind. His warm fingers curled around her neck, pulling her to him even as
his thumb caressed her cheek and she gripped his arms to anchor herself to him. It was a
heady mix of give and take that sent a thrill through her like she’d never known.

Sensing he was about to pull away, she tugged on the lapel of his waistcoat and he leaned
back into her with the softest of sighs. She felt lost entirely in him as the kiss deepened,
reaching every part of her. If dancing with him had made her feel alive, kissing him lit her
entire body from within, a buzz thrumming through her that pounded with every beat of her
heart.

Distantly, she became aware of the chime of the clock announcing the hour, each tone
bringing them further back to reality as it shattered whatever spell had captured them, holding
them in its exhilarating clutches. They parted reluctantly, hearts pounding and breath ragged
as they each appraised the other, attempting to make sense of what had just happened.

“I must apol…”

“No,” she shook her head, interrupting him before he could continue. She could still feel his
heart pounding against her hand. “Please don’t. Because then you didn’t mean for it to
happen…didn’t want for it to happen…and I don’t believe that’s true.”

His fingers were still curled around her neck and he slowly brushed his thumb lightly along
the line of her jaw. “Then I won’t apologize,” he agreed with a whisper, his forehead to hers.
“But that’s not why I brought you here.”

“I know.” She placed her hand over his, keeping it pressed against her cheek.

They sat there for a moment until he pulled away and she reluctantly let her hand fall. “It’s
late,” he said softly. “You should be heading back to town before you’re missed.”

She nodded, knowing he was right but already regretting the need to separate from him.
There was so much she wished they could say to one another, so many questions she wanted
to ask. He stood, extending his hand to help her up. His thumb brushed across her knuckles,
sending her heart racing once more.

They didn’t speak or touch as he opened the drawing room doors and led her through the
foyer. Cool air brushed her skin as they stepped outside, the carriage waiting for her. It all felt
as though it was ending much too soon. She dared to look up at him as he stood next to the
open carriage door, his hand out to help her inside. His dark eyes swept her face, a look of
such longing in them that she stood staring at him for a moment too long. She blushed as she
finally took his hand and stepped up into the carriage, settling herself on the seat.

His lips curved into a gentle smile. “Until tomorrow then.”

Her heart leapt. “Until tomorrow.”

*****

Xander watched the carriage until it disappeared out of sight. He’d needed the time to collect
himself before entering the house, closing the doors behind him. As expected, Mrs. Wheatley
stood waiting for him, her hands clasped before her.

“I had no choice,” he said, cutting her off before she could even begin to lecture him. He
walked back into the drawing room and began blowing out candles, curls of smoke filling the
air.

“But you did, Sir,” she argued, following him. “What was so important you could not wait
until the light of day and not risk her reputation in such a manner?”

He turned to look at her. “Lennox proposed to her.”

The housekeeper gasped, disdain for the man evident in her horrified expression. “And her
answer?”

“She turned him down.” Thankfully. “Apparently he reacted quite poorly to her refusal,
upsetting her a great deal. I came across her soon after,” he explained. The recollection of her
descending the stairs, distraught, her breathing ragged, reignited the anger he’d felt earlier in
the evening.

“And that somehow led to you bringing her here?”

He raked his fingers through his hair. “Lennox told her that I stole Lucy from him. That I
destroyed her. Since the garden party…and the way I treated her…she’s been asking for the
truth of our history as she did not know whom to believe. I owed her that much.”

Mrs. Wheatley sighed. “I don’t disagree that she deserved to know the truth, Xander, but why
could it not have waited until the morning?”

While he appreciated the woman who’d helped raise him’s protectiveness over Charlotte’s
reputation, he refused to believe he’d had any other choice in the matter. “Because I would
have changed my mind,” he admitted, knowing full well that it would have been the most
likely outcome of a night spent dwelling on the matter. “I would have managed some excuse
during the night to justify not telling her.”

She considered this for a moment, clearly still disapproving of his actions but grudgingly
understanding his rationalization. “And her reaction?” She picked up one of the remaining
candle holders.

His eyes were drawn to the dying embers of the fire. Heat crept over him as he recalled their
embrace, the feel of her lips on his. “She told me I bear no blame and that I must forgive
myself.”

“As you should.” Her firm tone carried a hint of exasperation for she’d been long telling him
to do the same.
 He looked at her helplessly. “I’m not sure if I know how.”

“If anyone can help you, I’m certain Miss Heywood can.”

Chapter End Notes

Confession - I've never watched a video of two people kissing more in my life than I did
in writing this chapter. It seemed like an okay problem to have.
 All Is Well
Chapter Summary

The one where we learn that eavesdropping can completely ruin your dad's budding
relationship with your governess, Luna makes an appearance, and we discover that trees
and kissing go together like peanut butter and chocolate. (I understand PB and chocolate
might not necessarily be a UK thing so just fill in with any appropriate UK substitute of
your choosing. No judgement!)

I don't own any of the characters or scripted content from the show...yaddah, yaddah,
yaddah. You know the drill.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

All Is Well

“So it was the colonel that stole Mr. Colbourne’s wife?”

Alison's disbelief was unmistakable as she listened to Charlotte relaying the story of what
she’d learned about the history between Colonel Lennox and her employer the night before…
although there was much of what happened left out of her story. She would not betray the
truth of Leo’s birth and she found herself unwilling to disclose the intimate moment they had
shared with her sister and best friend. They had been privy to her frustration with the man all
summer and were not likely to understand the sudden change in her opinion of him just yet.

Georgiana echoed her sister’s surprise. “He is the villain of the story, not the victim?”

“Mr. Colbourne is not at all the man I had been led to believe.” Charlotte felt a flutter in her
chest at the thought of him and the kiss they’d shared. She'd revisited the intimate moment a
hundred times and still felt the same flush of excitement each time.

“I cannot believe how the colonel treated you. I shall never forgive myself,” Alison was
emphatic in her declaration. “All these weeks we’ve been urging you to consider him.”

“Last night we insisted you dance with him.”

While Charlotte appreciated that her friends were apologetic for encouraging her to consider
the colonel’s affections, she didn’t wish them to feel guilty on her behalf. “We were all
deceived.”

“It seems I’m a woeful judge of character, at least where gentlemen are concerned,” Alison
lamented.
“Perhaps there’s a lesson to be drawn,” Charlotte suggested, trying to divert Alison’s
thoughts. “Soldiers are not to be trusted. Better stick to…”

“Artists?” Georgiana smiled slyly. “For example.”

“Not all soldiers are untrustworthy,” her sister protested. “I know one who is in every way
admirable.”

Charlotte smiled knowingly. At least Captain Fraser seemed a much more honorable man
than his compatriots. “I cannot think who you mean.” She shared an amused look with
Georgiana.

“I think I shall miss him more than anyone else I have met here” Alison admitted, her
feelings for the good captain suddenly taking form in her mind. “Is it not peculiar? How we
can be strangers to our own affections.”

“It isn’t peculiar at all,” Georgiana shook her head.

Charlotte considered her sister’s words. She too, it seemed, had been a stranger to her own
affections.

Sidney had been her first experience with love and she’d been so naive. She had seen
everything around her with the eyes of someone who saw no bad in the world and his
betrayal had been all the more devastating as a result. She understood why Sidney had made
the choice he had and she did not fault him for wishing to save his family but she still felt the
pain of his actions nonetheless. When she’d returned to Sanditon at the beginning of the
summer, she’d been heartbroken over Sidney’s betrayal and subsequent death. So much so
that she’d vowed to never allow herself to love again and sworn off all thoughts of marriage.
She’d determined that she would live her life on her terms, an independent woman who was
beholden to no one.

But last night, everything had changed. For the first time Alexander Colbourne had truly
revealed himself to her, allowing her to see the wounded man who so desperately wanted to
be made whole again. Looking back, she could now account for each moment, each smile,
each thought that had led her to last night and the sudden realization that her feelings for him
went far beyond what she could have imagined.

She had not dared to consider that she would be in a position to open her heart to love
again…certainly not to him. He was stubborn, frustrating, opinionated and prone to angry
outbursts without giving consideration to his words. They’d certainly had their fair share of
disagreements as a result. But she’d also come to realize he was a man of honor, integrity,
intelligence, compassion and was in possession of a dry sense of humor. She also had to
admit to herself that she found him quite handsome with his dark, wavy brown hair and warm
amber eyes that seemed to speak to her far more than the words that often struggled to escape
from his lips.

Her feelings for Mr. Colbourne were more complex than those she’d felt for Sidney. She felt
on much more equal footing with him, despite him being her employer. From the very start,
he’d listened to her and taken her words to heart, making changes to his behavior and
demonstrating that he valued her intelligence and opinions, even if it sometimes took him a
while to accept her advice. In his worst moments, he had never made her feel less than she
was. And more than that, she saw that he needed her and made no effort to deny it like so
many men would. For the first time, she dared to imagine a life with a partner at her side, a
man who respected and loved her for her abilities and character.

*****

Augusta chewed her lip nervously and moved the food around on her plate. Breakfast was
nearly over, Miss Heywood would soon be arriving for lessons and Leo was missing.

Normally, Leo’s penchant for disappearing caused her little concern. She used to take little
notice of her cousin’s absences, determining soon after her arrival at Heyrick Park that the
child was practically wild and it was not her burden to keep track of her whereabouts.
However, since the arrival of Miss Heywood, she’d only disappeared once and that had been
weeks and weeks ago. She loved their governess and was always happy to see her, eager to
tell her about all of her adventures despite spending hours with her just the day before.

But last night, long after they’d returned home from the ball with Miss Heywood
mysteriously in tow, Leo had woken her up with tears in her eyes. Augusta had been little
able to make out what she was saying through her sobs but she’d managed to gather that Leo
had been eavesdropping on her father and Miss Heywood and had gleaned that her distress
was somehow related to Colonel Lennox.

Only half awake and not understanding what Leo was going on about, she’d comforted her as
best she could, tucking her into bed next to her and holding her until her tears subsided. And
in the early hours of the morning, Leo had begged her to promise that she wouldn’t tell her
father that she was going to see the colonel before she’d scampered out of the room. Anxious
to get dressed and assuming Leo was talking about another of her imagined missions, she had
agreed without considering just what her cousin's intentions really were. And now, hours
later, Leo was nowhere to be found.

“Miss Markham,” Mrs. Wheatley entered the breakfast room, taking in the empty place at the
table where Leo should be. “Has Miss Colbourne not come down for breakfast yet?”

Augusta shook her head. “I haven’t seen her since she woke up, Mrs. Wheatley.”

The housekeeper frowned. “That’s most unlike her. She’s never missed breakfast before
unless she was ill. Did she say anything this morning? Was she not feeling well?”

Augusta shrugged, fear beginning to creep through her. “She didn’t seem sick.”

“I’ll have the staff start looking throughout the house and grounds,” Mrs. Wheatley sighed.
“I’d hoped she’d stopped all of this foolishness since Miss Heywood arrived.”

She watched as Mrs. Wheatley left the room and then quickly ran up the stairs. She would
search the house from top to bottom again. Surely, Leo hadn’t really gone to find the colonel
all alone.
 *****

To say that Xander had had trouble sleeping after all that had transpired the night before
would be an understatement. He’d spent hours recollecting everything that had occurred…
from the dance he’d shared with Charlotte to the sight of the carriage carrying her back to
town and everything in between. When he had finally fallen asleep, he’d dreamed of her
warm brown eyes, dimpled chin and soft lips pressed against his.

He’d been distracted all morning, missing questions posed to him by the workers at the dairy
when he’d stopped during his morning ride, forcing them to repeat themselves. Upon his
return to the house, he’d picked at his breakfast, earning him a disapproving look from Mrs.
Wheatley until he’d given up on eating and wandered back outside with Luna. He wanted to
be there when Charlotte arrived, to speak with her before she started the day's lessons with
the girls and put his mind to ease that she did not now regret the events that had unfolded the
night before.

He crouched down to give Luna a scratch, kissing her head before standing and throwing the
stick she’d found as far as he could. It was impossible to throw it far enough. With her speed,
she’d return it to him in moments. Still, the loyal hound enjoyed the chase and the simple
game and her companionship did provide him with some sense of calm.

Somehow, he sensed her before he turned to see her standing there, his heart leaping in his
chest. Even in the simplest of dresses with her cheeks pink from walking along the cliffs and
the sweetest of smiles on her lips, she looked more beautiful to him than she had in all of her
elegant finery of the night before. He walked towards her, the pull to be near her stronger
than ever.

“Miss Heywood. I wondered if we might take a turn about the grounds.”

“Of course.”

They walked in silence towards the stables, Luna running ahead after some small creature
she’d spied in the grass. With each step they took, he felt the ache to share all that he wanted
to say to her grow inside of him. Yet the doubts he felt persisted in invading his thoughts. He
had bared much of himself to her the night before, more than he had planned to when he’d
made the decision to reveal the truth about Lucy and Lennox to her. He hadn’t intended for
her to witness the shame and pain he felt for his role in Lucy’s death but the words had
poured out of him so easily in her presence, a burdensome weight lifting from his shoulders
with the telling. And while he doubted that she would break his trust and share what she had
been told, he felt compelled to protect Leo from the truth for as long as possible.

“I’ve been thinking on our conversation last night. I must apologize. I said too much. I beg
you never speak of it.”

They stopped beneath the tree. “I won’t breathe a word,” she reassured him. “I too have
known heartache and betrayal. I had sworn off love and marriage. And yet, I have come to
realize I cannot hide myself away. I must live my life. Is it not time you did the same?”
He didn’t think he could have stopped himself from kissing her again if he’d tried. In that one
moment she had given him more hope than he’d ever felt before. He pulled her to him,
overwhelmed with the feel of her once again in his arms. Startled by the unexpectedness of
his advance, she grasped his arm to steady herself before she leaned into him, returning his
kiss. The desperate need he’d felt instantly calmed under her lips and their embrace turned
from frantic to tender, pounding hearts swelling instead with hopeful longing.

“Mr. Colbourne! Mr. Colbourne!”

They jumped apart, embarrassed at being caught in an embrace by Mrs. Wheatley. He

frowned as he realized that the expression on her face was not one of disapproval but of great
concern.

“It is Miss Leonora, Sir,” she said, wringing her hands. “She is nowhere to be found.”

*****

“We have every last member of staff combing the estate,” Mrs. Wheatley explained as they
walked down the hall. “We’ve already searched every inch of the house.”

Xander hurried back down the stairs, his boots thumping with every step. “She can’t have
disappeared into thin air,” he stated firmly. “Leo!”

Charlotte headed down the hall to continue looking although she doubted she would find Leo
if she was well and truly hiding. Given her past history, it was more likely she was out on the
grounds rather than hiding in the house. She spied Augusta sitting on the west staircase
looking distressed which was quite unlike her. Her stomach sank. She knew something about
Leo’s disappearance.

“Augusta?”

Xander hurried towards them, Mrs. Wheatley on his heels. “I gave her my word,” she said
weakly.

“Augusta, for God’s sake!”

Charlotte held up her hand, stopping him before he could say something he would regret.
“It’s alright,” she reassured her.

“She woke me up late last night,” Augusta admitted. “She was crying. She said she overheard
you talking. Something about Colonel Lennox. She’s gone to speak with him.”

Xander shot her a frantic look before hurrying towards his study. Charlotte rushed after him,
catching him as he pulled on his coat. “Where are the military camped? Do you know?”

She nodded as Mrs. Wheatley appeared in the doorway. “I do and I’m coming with you.”

“No,” he shook his head emphatically, “you’re not. I’m not taking you anywhere near that
man.”
Even in a moment of panic over his daughter, he was still intent on protecting her. Reaching
out, she touched his arm as he moved to pass her. “The colonel is no threat to me now.
Whatever Leo heard, it is my fault as much as yours. You don’t need to do everything alone.
Please let me help.”

He ducked his head for a moment, considering her words before he met her eyes. She could
see the fear he was feeling and knew that the last thing he needed was to be alone, allowing
his darkest thoughts to overtake him. Finally, he nodded his assent and she breathed a
momentary sigh of relief as they hurried towards the stables together.

*****

“Colonel, you have a visitor.”

Francis Lennox flicked his eyes to the captain. “Who is it, Fraser?”

“If I’m not mistaken, Colonel, it’s the same child that was injured during the parade. She
arrived alone and said she needs to speak with you. I put her in your tent. I imagine her
parents will be wondering she is.”

Lennox rolled his eyes. Just what he needed . “Very well then,” he sighed.

He entered his tent to find a child dressed in an old officer’s coat, her blond hair cut short. If
he hadn’t been advised otherwise, he would have thought her a boy.

She had set up a line of painted tin soldiers on his table. “This one is a colonel, like you. He
commands a battalion of a thousand men. If I were a boy, I would be a colonel too. Or maybe
a duke.”

“Do your parents know you’re here?” he asked politely, unsure what to do with her. It wasn’t
all that unusual for young boys to visit, enthralled as they were with the life of a soldier. But
he’d never encountered a girl before.

“I do not have parents. My mother is dead.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was not long after I was born. I never knew her. But you did.”

A huff of laughter escaped him. Was that the child’s ploy? Had some local widow woman sent
her child to him to try to claim parentage so he’d pay her money?

“Her name was Lucy Colbourne. I wanted to meet you. To see if it’s true…that you are my
real father.”

Shock slammed into him. He looked over the child again, taking in her blond locks and blue
eyes. Lucy’s daughter? It wasn’t possible, was it?

“How…how old are you?”

“I shall be nine in October.”

His brain scrambled to calculate the months and years it had been since he’d been with Lucy,
the truth inescapable. She had been with child when he’d left her all those years ago and he’d
never known.

“I beg your pardon, Colonel,” Captain Fraser interrupted.

Fraser was cut off as Colbourne and Miss Heywood, their expressions full of worry for the
missing girl, rushed past him into the tent. “Leo!”

The child ignored the arrival of her father and governess, intent on an answer. “Well, Sir? Are
you ?”

He glanced at Colbourne and saw the truth plainly evident on the man’s face. No matter how
much he might try to deny it, he knew in that moment that he had fathered this child with
Lucy. And after her death, Alexander Colbourne , of all people, had raised the child as his
own. The very man who he’d long considered to be a most worthless and cowardly man had
given her his name and all the protections and advantages that came with it. Advantages that
he could not have provided.

He swallowed hard, turning back to Lucy’s daughter. “No. No, I’m not. That man is your
father.”

*****

“Why did you not come and talk to me?” he asked, the fear of losing Leo still coursing
through his veins despite the wave of relief that had washed over him the moment Lennox
had denied he was her father.

“I thought you’d be angry,” Leo admitted, her voice small.

He stopped in his tracks. “No, no, I’m not angry. But whatever you thought you heard; I am
your father. And I always will be.”

“But last night…”

Xander went down on his knees, bringing himself to the same level as his daughter. “All I
meant was that I’ve not been the father you deserve. But I will endeavor to be better. I give
you my word.”

“I’m glad it’s you. Even though you’re not a colonel. I was sad to think I might not be your
daughter.”

He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly to him. It had been far too long since he’d
held her…too long since he’d even considered doing such a thing. He’d let his own shame
and guilt prevent him from being a good father, something he’d vowed to be when his own
father had died a decade ago. He only hoped that there was still time to become the father that
he always should have been. Charlotte’s eyes were bright as she watched him embrace Leo.
His heart ached with love for her in that moment. She had led them to this point. Without her,
he would never have realized just how much he was missing in his life.

“Will you take her home? I need a last word with the colonel.”

“Of course.”

Breaking propriety, he reached for her hand, his fingers taking hers briefly as he tried to
convey to her just how much he appreciated having her by his side for words were surely not
enough. “Thank you.”

*****

Xander found Lennox sitting in a camp chair, one of Leo’s little toy soldiers in his hand. He
looked up at him, suspicion as to why he’d returned plastered on his face. As much as he
wanted nothing more to do with the man, he felt honor bound to speak with him one last
time…for Leo’s sake.

“I came to thank you. For sparing Leonora the truth.

“What good would have come of it? I only hope you take better care of her than you did of
her mother.”

The blasted man had just discovered that he’d fathered a child and still couldn’t resist
throwing barbs at him about Lucy. But he would be damned if he’d let him cause any further
pain to Charlotte. “Whatever you told Miss Heywood…”

“I remember the state Lucy was in when I first met her,” he interrupted, intent on continuing
to show him nothing but disrespect. “Lost. Abandoned.”

The now familiar burning that accompanied every encounter he had with the colonel began in
the pit of his stomach. “I know I could have been a better husband. But I never abandoned
her. It was you who preyed upon her vulnerabilities. It was you who made a victim of her.”

“All I did was offer her the comfort her husband couldn’t. You know I speak the truth.”

It was no matter that he knew all too well what Lennox was trying to do, the words still
stung. He turned, intent on leaving before matters escalated. He’d been a fool to think he
could hold a reasonable conversation with the man.

“Miss Heywood’s plainly in love with you.”

Xander stopped, frozen in mid-step.

“Can you trust yourself not to fail her as you failed Lucy?”

A chill ran through him, running its cold fingers down his spine. Like some animal
awakening from slumber, the guilt he’d long felt for his role in the downfall of his marriage
stirred once more. Turning, he found Lennox smirking at him, raising his eyes to him in an
unspoken challenge. A bitter taste filled his mouth but he would not give the man the
satisfaction of goading him into a further confrontation.

“You’re not fit to speak their names.” He turned his back and walked away.

*****

The pounding of Hannibal’s hoofs against the sand echoed in Xander’s head. The moment
he’d mounted, he’d kicked the horse into a gallop, escaping the confines of the camp as
quickly as possible, as though a battalion of soldiers was chasing after him instead of his own
dark memories. He pulled up on the reins, bringing the horse to a stop as they both gasped for
air.

Can you trust yourself not to fail her as you failed Lucy?

Lennox’s words marched through his brain over and over again. He had failed Lucy. He knew
that deep within his soul. Yes, she had betrayed their marriage vows but when she needed
compassion and understanding, he had failed to provide for her. Instead he had wrapped
himself in the anger he’d held against her and Lennox as though it was a shield he could use
to protect himself from the pain her betrayal had inflicted on him. It was only after her death
that he had come to realize that by refusing to show her mercy, he might as well have driven
her out into the storm that night himself. He had not loved Lucy when they’d married but he
had carried the hope that they would grow to love one another with time. And he’d certainly
never wished her harm. But like his father before him, he had failed to be the man she’d need
him to be.

I’m nothing like my father.

His own words came back to him, nearly making him laugh out loud. Oh, how wrong he was!
Just like Charles Colbourne had neglected his own sons, he’d abandoned Leo and Augusta,
locking himself away to wallow in his own misery after the death of his wife. He might not
have succumbed to the evils of gambling and alcohol or raised a hand to them, but the way
he’d treated his daughter and niece…depriving them of simple love and affection…was just
as unacceptable.

And now he would fail Charlotte as his father had failed his mother and he had failed Lucy
before her. Over time, she would come to realize that he had nothing to offer her but
bitterness and misery. The beautiful light that shined inside of her…the very light that drew
him to her…would dim more and more with each passing day until she was irrevocably
broken.

It was not too late for him to strive to become a better father to Leo and uncle to Augusta. He
likely had little time left with Augusta before she would marry and leave Heyrick Park. He
would work diligently to make amends to her for the past year and a half, stepping out into
Society to ensure she had the future she deserved. And Leo was still young enough to forgive
him his trespasses, content simply to spend time with him trawling the pond and learning
about the various plants and animals that shared the estate. He could pass along all of his
knowledge of the natural world to her while she was still a willing pupil and build pleasant
 memories along the way. He would renew his vow to be a better father each and every day
for her sake.

But he would be damned if he would bind Charlotte to a life that was bound to bring her
nothing but pain. She was young and beautiful and full of life. Any man would be lucky to
have her by his side. She would find the love she deserved with another and forget he ever
existed. She might hate him, and he would most assuredly hate himself, but she would be far
happier living a life without him. With time, the pain he inflicted on both of them would
fade.

In his heart, he knew it was just one more lie he was telling himself.

*****

Mrs. Wheatley and Augusta hurried out of the front doors as Charlotte pulled the horse up at
the mounting block.

“You had us worried sick, Miss Colbourne!” Mrs. Wheatley admonished Leo as she was
lifted off the back of the horse by the waiting groom. Augusta quickly embraced her younger
cousin, clearly relieved she had been returned safely home.

Charlotte dismounted as Augusta led Leo inside. The housekeeper’s expression was still
anxious.

“Mr. Colbourne?”

“He wanted one last word with Colonel Lennox,” she explained.

She had hoped that he would catch up to her and Leo as they rode back to the estate but there
had been no sign of him and she had begun to worry. She knew Xander would not have
returned to speak with the colonel with any intention of causing trouble but she had no such
confidence in Lennox. His desire to further inflict pain on Xander had already been made
quite clear in their previous interactions. She hoped the two men could control their tempers
and nothing untoward would occur between them.

“But all is well?”

The unspoken question Mrs. Wheatley posed was clear. She was asking for reassurance that
Colonel Lennox would make no attempt to involve himself in Leo’s life…or worse, claim his
rights as her father, upending all of Heyrick Park and destroying the small family that lived
there.

Charlotte exhaled the air that she seemed to have been holding in since they’d left to find Leo
and smiled reassuringly. “All is well.”

Chapter End Notes

I apologize if the chapter title seems a little bit like a kick to the gut. Believe me, I feel it
too. But misery loves company so I'm sharing with all of you.

Yes, I'm delaying the inevitable. The next chapter is going to be rough. I don't even like
to re-watch the last scene between the two of them, much less write about it.

I didn't watch the tree kiss nearly as much as I did the first kiss for the last chapter. I
may have to go back and catch up on my quota to even things out. Excuse me while I go
look for some chocolate now.

As always, your very kind comments are so very much appreciated. I know you don't
have to leave them so the fact that you take time to write them (and leave kudos) really
means a lot. They definitely brighten my day!
 You Will Regret This
Chapter Summary

The one where Xander is a complete idiot and that I've been dreading since I started this
little hobby.

As always, the characters and scripted content are not mine but belong to the creators
and writers of the show.

Chapter Notes

One thing that always bothered me was Xander's apparent happy mood the morning
before he sends Charlotte away. I had to somehow justify this weird contrast between
how happy he appeared with him breaking Charlotte's heart which was hard. Other than
him (a) being a complete unforgivable jerk or (b) suffering some type of brain injury,
this was the best I could come up with.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

You Will Regret This

The trip to Heyrick Park had become one of Charlotte’s favorite times of day. The smell of
the sea air and the breeze on her face as she journeyed along the cliff path towards the estate
always made her feel invigorated for the day to come. The walk up the tree lined lane always
had a way of bringing her mind to ease before the work of the day began. And the house that
had been so foreboding to her when she’d first arrived now seemed welcoming to her, the
shadows that once dimmed the halls now washed away by the morning sunlight streaming
through the windows that had finally been flung open.

On this morning, the events of the day before filled her mind as she made her way to the
servant’s entrance. Certainly the day had not unfolded as she had expected but then neither
had the day before that. When she’d come across Mr. Colbourne waiting for her outside she’d
little expected the passionate embrace that had soon followed despite the prior evening’s
startling revelation of their mutual attraction to one another. One could only imagine what
would have happened next had the discovery of Leo’s disappearance not diverted them,
leaving so many unanswered questions spinning through her head.

She’d expected him to return to the house shortly after she and Leo had arrived. It had been a
surprise to learn from Mrs. Wheatley that he’d still not returned by luncheon and she’d
started to grow concerned when she’d found his study empty when it came time for her to
leave for the day. Mrs. Wheatley had also seemed somewhat troubled by his continued
absence but had brushed it off saying that he must have had unexpected business that was
keeping him away from the house and she was sure everything was fine.

Hopeful that she could finally glean some idea of his thoughts and feelings about the past few
days this morning, she entered the kitchens with a sense of cheerful anticipation for the day
ahead, finding the housekeeper reading the newspaper at the large work table.

“Mrs. Wheatley.”

“Good morning, Miss Heywood,” the housekeeper greeted her warmly. “You will find your
charges outside having breakfast with Mr. Colbourne.”

This was a surprising but welcome development. He seemed to always be surprising her of
late. “Together?”

“Miracle of miracles,” Mrs. Wheatley smiled. “Wonder of wonders.”

*****

Xander rose after another fitful night of sleep, his thoughts a muddle of conflicting emotions.
He’d spent hours contemplating his actions over the past few days and what he must do next.
Knowing he was only delaying the inevitable, he’d avoided returning to the house the day
before until he could be certain that Charlotte had left so he would not have to see her. He’d
then spent the evening in his study avoiding everyone else as he’d tried to formulate a plan
that he knew would only cause them all pain but seemed to be his only option. He only hoped
they’d one day understand his motives, even if they never forgave him.

He dressed quickly and forgoing his usual morning ride, went downstairs to the kitchens.
Pretending a cheerfulness he did not feel, he greeted his housekeeper. “Good morning, Mrs.
Wheatley,” he forced a smile. “It’s such a pleasant morning, I thought the girls and I might
have breakfast outside if that’s not too much trouble. I’ll delay my morning ride until later.”

She eyed him sharply and he busied himself by taking an apple from the ever-present bowl
on the table. If she suspected what he was about to do, she would attempt to talk him out of
it. “Of course it’s not too much trouble, Sir,” she agreed, sounding pleased at his sudden
change in behavior. “I’m sure the girls would consider it a most welcome treat.”

He nodded his thanks and quickly left the room before she could question him further, taking
refuge in his study until he heard the girls come down the stairs. As expected, Leo was
overjoyed he was joining them and that they were eating out of doors while Augusta seemed
merely surprised but likely assumed it was simply one more change in him that she could
attribute to the effects of Miss Heywood.

Despite his looming plan to sever their ties with their prized governess, he found himself
enjoying the time spent with his daughter and niece. The informal outdoor setting and Leo’s
cheerful attitude even eliciting a genuine smile or two. And although it sickened him that
he’d even consider stooping to such a level, he offered his daughter a gift that might have
some hope of distracting her from her anguish in the coming days and weeks.
“So Luna has been telling me that she’s rather lonely and she would like a dog companion.
That’s what she told me. I was thinking perhaps another lurcher?”

“I should like a mastiff,” Leo countered eagerly, not one to do anything by halves.

“Good choice, Leo!”

Distracted by Leo, he didn’t see her approaching. “Miss Heywood!” Leo greeted her
governess eagerly. “We’re going to get a new dog!”

“How exciting!”

His eyes darted to her and he stood quickly, his heart plummeting in his chest at the sight of
her smiling face. He swallowed, his mouth dry. “Miss Heywood, I wondered if we might
speak in private?”

The question in her eyes went unasked. “Of course.”

*****

Relieved that he wanted to speak to her first thing, Charlotte walked with him to his study.
She hoped that with their conversation, the past two days of uncertainty would end with at
least some sort of understanding of where their relationship stood. She turned as he closed the
door behind him, surprised by the serious expression on his face.

He drew a deep breath. “Miss Heywood, I owe you an apology.”

“For what?” she asked, confused.

“My behavior has been unforgivable. Twice I allowed my emotions to get the better of me.
Twice I have taken advantage of my position over you.”

Her confusion only grew. Why was he apologizing? “You make it sound as if I were not a
willing participant.”

“You are the girls’ governess and I am master of the estate,” his tone became more insistent.
“I am your employer. It was deeply inappropriate and I feel only shame and regret.”

Shock rippled through her at his words. “That is all I am to you? A member of your staff?”

He couldn’t possibly mean what he was saying. The man who had revealed his deepest secret
to her, who had kissed her with such tenderness and passion, who had looked at her with such
love in his eyes could not possibly mean to say such things to her.

“In the circumstances, I understand that your position here has become untenable and you
will wish to leave at once.” His words sounded as though he’d spent hours rehearsing them,
his tone flat. After all that had happened between them over the past two days, he was casting
her out with no regard to her own feelings. “I hope you will accept six months ex gretia as to
compensate you for the loss of earning.”
“I don’t care about the money,” she insisted. “What will you tell the girls?” The very thought
of Leo and Augusta nearly broke the last vestige of her control. She had come to consider
them as close as her own sisters and now she’d likely never see them again.

His rehearsed tone slipped away. “We shall say that your term came to a natural conclusion
by mutual agreement.”

“No,” she refused. She would not allow him to tell the girls such a lie. “This is your decision
and yours alone.”

Unable to withstand his company any longer, she swept past him out of the study and hurried
towards the door, collecting her hat off the table as she left. Somehow she managed to hold
back her tears until she was outside, but only just.

“Miss Heywood! Miss Heywood!”

She heard Augusta calling for her and quickened her pace. She could not face her. Not after
he had just destroyed all of her dreams in a single moment.

*****

It seemed as if time froze the moment she walked out of the door. Tears threatened as he
watched her leave from the window. So many mornings and afternoons had been spent in this
spot waiting to catch a peek of her coming and going. The briefest of glimpses had barely
been enough to tide him over until he saw her next and now she was leaving for good.

He could hear Augusta shouting her name, begging for her to stop but she didn’t turn, her
shoulders hunched as she hurried away from Heyrick Park…and him…as fast as she could.
The pain in Augusta’s voice wrenched at him with unexpected severity. He had not expected
her to give voice to his own agony and it shook him to his core.

Mrs. Wheatley appeared next to him, her face concerned. He hadn’t heard her enter but he
wasn’t surprised she’d sought him out. She too must have witnessed Augusta’s shouting and
Charlotte’s abrupt departure, knowing that he would have been the cause of both women’s
distress.

“Xander? What did you do?”

It was rare for her to question him so directly. Since he had inherited the estate, she had tried
to treat him as she had his father. But occasionally, she would slip into the role of surrogate
mother and attempt to set him straight when she felt he was making a mistake.

“Her employment here has ended.”

“You will regret this,” she warned.

“It’s better this way. For her sake.”

The torment he felt was of no consequence. With time, it would hopefully fade. Yet even if it
did not, it was of no consequence. He was protecting Charlotte from the inevitable pain she’d
find if they continued down the path he’d placed them so recklessly on. He had been selfish
to ever even consider a relationship with her and sending her away was the only way they
could both move past it all.

“Xander, do not shut yourself away again.” She placed a hand on his arm. “Please.”

The pleading look in her eyes was too much for him to bear. The only person who had cared
for him unequivocally since his mother had died, Mrs. Wheatley’s approval meant everything
to him. And she was begging him not to disappear as he had after Lucy had died. Charlotte
had been the reason he’d changed. Charlotte had brought the house back to life. And he had
just sent her away. He felt as if the very air around him had disappeared. He needed to
escape, to go anywhere but here.

He left the house and rushed to the stables, saddling Hannibal as quickly as he could, but he
wasn’t quick enough to avoid his persistent niece.

Augusta rushed towards him, her expression stormy. “What did you say to her?”

“That is not your concern.”

“I saw her leaving,” she glared at him, her voice accusing.

“There are things you do not understand!”

How could he tell her that he had never expected to fall in love? That there was no way he
could ask such an astounding woman to sacrifice her own happiness for him? That he’d
foolishly sent her away in an attempt to protect her but instead destroyed four lives instead of
just his own?

“I understand that she brought light into a house which before her knew only darkness. I
understand that she brought us together. That she cared about me and Leonora as if we were
her own sisters. I understand that she almost restored you to a…to a human being .”

He mounted Hannibal, desperately wanting to ignore her words but unable to avoid hearing
them.

“Are we to revert to how things were?” she demanded.

“Augusta!” he pleaded.

“What is it that you are frightened of, Uncle? That we might finally be happy? Go to her.
Please!” she begged. “Ask her to come back. Tell her that you made a mistake. For our sake,
if not for your own.”

The loss he’d inflicted on her was clearly evident. Realization struck him like a blow. He’d
just taken the one person Augusta had come to rely on since the death of her parents away
from her. But more than that, he’d taken the closest thing to a mother Leo had ever had away
from her. In trying to protect Charlotte from himself, he’d stolen everything she could have
been from Leo and Augusta. Selfishly, he had not considered their needs. He owed it to them
to try to convince her to come back.
 *****

Although she’d managed to dispel her tears by the time she reached town, there was no way
Charlotte could hide that her employment had been terminated when she’d returned to
Trafalgar House so soon after departing for the day. Upon hearing the news, Mary and
Georgiana quickly ushered her past Tom into the quiet of the parlor.

“At least now that you’re no longer working, we can enjoy the rest of the summer,”
Georgiana squeezed her hand, trying her best to be sympathetic to the loss of the employment
she’d never approved of.

She could not reveal to her friends that she had lost so much more than her position. Now she
was grateful she’d kept her burgeoning feelings for him to herself. There would be no false
words of compassion when they were actually happy that she was no longer in danger of
developing a relationship with the dreaded Mr. Colbourne. Mary would have been
scandalized to learn of the liberties the man had taken with his governess, ignoring any
attempts she might have made to claim his advances had been welcomed by her. No, she
would not disclose her true feelings for him now , not when he’d so readily broken her heart.

“Father expects me home,” she admitted, knowing that without the reason of her
employment, she could no longer delay returning home to Willingden, especially now that
Alison had returned home and would soon be getting married. “I’ve tried his patience long
enough.”

“You have our friendship,” Georgiana pressed. “Is that not reason enough to stay? You can
help me find my mother.”

“I hope I shall always have that Georgiana, whether or not we are in the same place. And of
course I’ll do whatever I can to help you find her. You will be invited to Alison’s wedding so
it shan’t be long before we see each other again.”

“I do wish you would stay.”

Charlotte hated to leave the friends who had come to mean so much to her. The Parkers were
a second family to her now and Georgiana was the best of friends. She regretted that she’d
spent so little time with her over the past few months. Life in Willingden would pale in
comparison to Sanditon and she would miss everyone so very much. But staying in Sanditon
meant risking she’d see him again and she could not even bear the thought.

The door to the parlor opened, revealing Tom, a disapproving look on his face. “Charlotte, a
Mr. Colbourne here to see you.”

*****

By the time he’d arrived at Trafalgar House, Xander had convinced himself that if Charlotte
would agree to listen to him he would admit his fear of failing her and throw himself on her
mercy. He would promise to do whatever it took to become a man worth being loved by her.
And if she would forgive him for hurting her, he would dedicate his life to somehow making
it up to her. It might cost him everything he had, but she was worth it.
Despite the hard expression on her face, there was no mistaking the pain in her eyes when
Charlotte entered the drawing room. She walked past him to the other side of the room,
placing as much distance as she could between them. Xander looked down at his feet,
ashamed. He twisted the ring on his left hand, questioning every decision he’d made in his
life over the past twenty-four hours. She waited for him to speak, refusing to give him any
sort of acknowledgment. He could not fault her.

How had it come to this? How had he made such a mess of everything?

“I’ve been thinking on our conversation, Miss Heywood.”

“As have I.” Her voice was flat, the light in her eyes gone.

“I came to tell you that I regret the circumstances under which we parted company.”

“You made yourself very clear.”

He shifted his weight nervously. “Augusta is rightly furious with me. She urged me to come
and speak with you at once.”

“Then you are here at Augusta’s request? Not of your own volition.”

“No,” he took a step closer. It seemed he was only managing to make matters worse and the
words he needed to express himself were lost to him. “The house feels your absence already.
And I’m here to ask if you….”

“I’m resolved to leave Sanditon, Mr. Colbourne,” she held up a hand, stopping him. “You
were right in what you said. We let our emotions get the better of us. I mistook what I was
feeling for a certain kind of affection. But I realize now I could never feel such tenderness for
a man who showed me so little respect. I will miss the girls a great deal. But I cannot be your
governess, if that is what you came to ask.”

Pain stabbed at him like a thousand small knives. He could see that there was no room for
forgiveness in her eyes. She was lost to him. He had done everything he’d sworn never to do
again. He’d completely disregarded her feelings, causing her pain and humiliation through no
fault of her own. After all that he had put Lucy through, he had learned nothing and it had
cost him everything he could have ever possibly wanted.

“Thank you,” he somehow managed to force the words out. “For making your feelings so
clear.”

Somehow he managed a bow before turning and exiting the room. The muffled sound of her
tears finally being released stilled his hand on the front door. For a moment he considered
returning to her to take her into his arms and beg her forgiveness, telling her it had all been a
mistake. But the recollection of the hard look in her eyes was seared into his memory. She
was resolved to leave…because of him…and there was nothing he could do to stop her.

*****
 Charlotte felt her heart shatter as he walked out the door, the pain nearly unbearable. The
tears she’d been fighting as he stood before her flowed freely down her cheeks. It had all
been a lie and now he was gone.

She had not been mistaken about her feelings. She had never been more certain of anything in
her life. She had fallen in love with him and he had turned her away as though it had all
meant nothing to him. It hardly seemed possible that only the day before, he had looked at
her with such love in his eyes, only to disregard her so easily today.

In the span of one year, she had had her heart broken by two men. She had found love twice
and it had been ripped away from her each time. Fresh tears left hot trails down her face.
“Enough!” she sobbed. She could take it no more. She would not open her heart again. She
would no longer place herself in a position to fall in love only to regret it. Love was not
worth the pain it caused.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you all for sticking through the not so happy bits and for the lovely comments!
 The Aftermath
Chapter Summary

Sometimes a mother needs to comfort her daughter and sometimes a mother needs to set
her boy straight.

Credit to Jane Austen and the creators and writers of the show "Sanditon".

Chapter Notes

We're 100% off scripted content for this one!

My oldest kiddo asked me why it looked like I was crying while writing this one. I did
not actually cry but there was some sniffling.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The Aftermath

Anne Heywood had been silently watching her eldest daughter with ever-growing concern
since she’d returned from her time in Sanditon a week earlier. Overshadowed by her sister
Alison’s surprise announcement of her impending nuptials to an Irish soldier, Charlotte had
been uncharacteristically reserved. There seemed to be a sadness about her that was
reminiscent of her demeanor from the summer before but yet was also somehow different.

When Charlotte had returned from her first summer in the seaside resort town, she’d been
withdrawn for a time, clearly harboring some pain she was reluctant to share. It hadn’t been
until Mary Parker had arrived and shared the news that her brother in law, Sidney Parker, had
succumbed to yellow fever while in Antigua that Charlotte had finally confessed her
heartache to her. She’d told her the story of the handsome and worldly man who at first had
paid her no mind, vexing Charlotte with his harsh words and actions. But over time, the two
had begun to see each other in a new light until Sidney had declared that he intended to make
a proposal of marriage when he returned to Sanditon. She had been devastated when he’d
instead announced his engagement to a wealthy widow in order to save his brother and the
rest of his family from financial ruin.

Anne had held her daughter that night, drying her tears and stroking her hair as she had when
she had been a small child and reassuring her that while losing her first love would be
difficult, love was still out there in the world waiting for her. Her life would go on, her heart
would heal and her soul would one day find the man that was truly meant for her. As the
months passed, she slowly saw her daughter come back to life but there had been a gravitas
to her that hadn’t been there before. The carefree young woman had been replaced with a
more mature one who had experienced love and loss.

William had been hesitant to send Charlotte and Alison back to Sanditon when they’d
received the Parker’s invitation. He was anxious for his daughters to settle down. The living
from the farm had been stretched as far as it could be over the past few years between the
weather and so many mouths to feed. But she’d convinced him to give them this one last
summer. All too soon they would be wives and mothers, tied to their homes and families.
Their memories of spending time by the sea with friends would last them a lifetime and may
be the only chance they ever got to experience life in another town.

They had been quite shocked by their eldest daughter’s decision to seek employment as a
governess while in Sanditon, although not surprised that she was motivated to do so by her
desire to be an independent woman. Charlotte had always had a strong will and free spirit.
But choosing to become a governess implied to Society that she had no marriage prospects
which was far from the truth. William had long been enthusiastic that Charlotte should marry
the son of the neighboring farm, Ralph Starling, who also seemed happy at the prospects of a
match with the eldest Heywood daughter. Yet Anne knew that while Charlotte had a certain
amount of affection for Ralph, having known him since childhood, she did love him in the
manner of which all young girls dreamed of one day loving their husbands.

Charlotte’s letters home had changed over the course of the summer. From reserved and
polite but vague after she and Alison had first arrived, they’d become more animated and full
of detail after she’d taken her position as governess for the widowed Mr. Colbourne. Her
missives were full of the everyday minutiae of her time teaching his daughter and niece, from
sharing stories of her early trials and tribulations as she found her footing to delightful tales
of young Leo’s exploits and her pride in finally winning Augusta’s acceptance.

Her mentions of her employer slowly became more frequent. Initially, she had responded to
her inquiries into the character of the man with little information other than that he kept his
own counsel and was rarely seen, her frustration with his lack of involvement with his
daughter and niece’s care evident. As the weeks passed, however, her letters began to include
brief mentions of how he had joined them for a picnic, had the long neglected spinet tuned
and finally agreed to escort Augusta to her first party. As innocent as they were, something
about her choice of words and the tone in which she wrote them planted a small seed of
suspicion in Anne’s head along the way but it was too soon to make any assumptions about
where her daughter’s head…or heart lay.

Shortly after Alison returned home with news of her engagement, a unexpected and brief note
had arrived stating that Charlotte’s position had ended and her time in Sanditon was over.
Alison had been as surprised as they were, unable to elaborate on her sister’s sudden change
of plans. And when she’d alighted from the carriage, it had been painfully obvious, to her
mother at least, that something untoward had occurred and her daughter was once again
returning home from Sanditon in pain. She’d put on a brave face to be sure, seemingly happy
to be amongst her family again and excited for her sister’s pending nuptials but the signs that
something was not as it seemed were unmistakable to her mother.
Charlotte had thrown herself into helping to plan Alison’s wedding and once again helping
with the farm and the education of her younger siblings, keeping herself so busy that she had
no time for anything else. Anne suspected she was wearing herself thin so she’d collapse in
bed each night from exhaustion in an effort to fend off unwanted memories and dreams. So it
was that a week after her return, she had decided it was finally time to speak to her daughter.
She ensured the younger children were otherwise occupied and gathering her skirts in hand,
she climbed the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door.

*****

Charlotte could see that her mother was concerned the moment she’d stepped foot outside of
the carriage in Willingden. For as long as Charlotte could remember, Anne Heywood had had
an uncanny ability to know when any of her children were hurt, ill or upset. She would dose
them with medicinal herbs, bandage their wounds and seek to comfort them with cuddles,
kisses to their foreheads and words of guidance and love. So it was no surprise to her that her
mother would eventually come to her in a quiet moment.

“Charlotte?”

“Good morning, Mama.” She put on her best smile and waved her hand over the pile of
clothes on the bed she shared with her sister. “I’ll be down soon. I was just going through
these dresses to see what Alison can keep and what can be turned into new ones for the little
girls.”

Her mother moved the dresses aside and sat on the side of the bed. “Sit with me for a
moment,” she patted the bed beside her.

Charlotte sat, knowing there was little use in putting off her mother any longer. “I know we
haven’t had time to really talk since I returned home, Mama. I’ve been meaning to sit down
with you but I’ve been so busy helping Alison.”

“I know, Charlotte,” she squeezed her hand. “You’ve been a great help to Alison and your
father and I are always grateful for the help you provide around the farm and with the
children’s education. You’ve always been a hard worker. But I’m concerned about you.”

“I’m fine, Mama, really,” she insisted.

“You know you don’t have to put on a brave face with me, Charlotte. I well remember how
hurt you were last summer when you returned from Sanditon and how much Sidney’s death
upset you. I can see that you’re in pain again now but I don’t know why. I hope you still
know that you can always share your troubles with your mother, my dear child.”

A wave of exhaustion washed over her. Putting forward a happy countenance when she felt
such an ache of sadness in her heart had been wearing on her. From the moment she’d arrived
back home, she’d longed to share her burden and feel the comfort she always received from
her mother’s arms. Tired of keeping the secret she’d held all summer, she poured the entire
story out to her mother. She told her all about being dismissed from her position as
governess, Lady Denham’s garden party, Colonel Lennox’s proposal, Mr. Colbourne’s
withdrawal from Society after the death of his wife, their disagreements, her difficulties with
Augusta, and how much Leo craved her father’s attention, leaving out only the truth of Leo’s
parentage and the kisses she’d shared with her employer. By the time she had finished, tears
ran freely down her cheeks.

“Oh, my sweet Charlotte,” her mother pulled her into her arms. “You care for him, don’t
you?”

She stared at her mother, startled at how easily she’d discerned the truth at the heart of her
anguish. “I thought I might have feelings for him at one time,” she admitted. “But how can I
care for a man who would treat me the way he did? With such little respect? Now all I feel is
embarrassment and anger.”

“And sadness, perhaps?”

“I am sad that I had to leave Leo and Augusta without saying goodbye,” she agreed. “I care
about them a great deal.” She would not admit any sort of sadness over her parting with Mr.
Colbourne.

Her mother smiled gently. “It is alright to be sad about losing a dream, Charlotte. I know you
are no stranger to that. And I am sorry that you’ve experienced another heartbreak. Mr.
Colbourne seems to be a man with many demons who is struggling to learn how to live
again.”

She could barely believe her mother would support him. “Are you excusing his behavior?”

“Not at all. A man should always treat everyone with respect. But harboring anger towards
him only hurts you more. You need never see him again but you still have a choice to make,
Charlotte. You can choose to continue to be angry and let it fester inside of you, turning to
hate. Or you can forgive him his trespasses. Did he not come to you at the Parker’s home and
say he regretted the circumstances under which you parted? And did you not say that he is a
man who has difficulty expressing himself? Is it not possible that he was trying to apologize
and admit he’d made a mistake?”

“I’m here to ask you…”

Had he been attempting to apologize? He had struggled to apologize for his behavior at the
garden party, his words awkward and stumbling. She had cut him off when he’d come to
Trafalgar House, her anger so great that she couldn’t bear to hear whatever he was trying to
ask her, assuming he merely sought her to return as his governess. But she supposed it was
possible that he was really trying to ask for her forgiveness or even something else. And she
would never know because she had not allowed him the chance to speak.

It still did not explain his abrupt change in behavior from the days before. She could not
fathom how he could have kissed her so passionately and looked at her with such affection in
his eyes at the military camp, grasping her hand as he thanked her, only to summarily dismiss
her the next morning. It made no sense! She could not believe that she had somehow
mistaken the way he looked at her, that she could be so wrong about the man’s character, that
everything could have changed between him leaving them at the camp to speak with Colonel
Lennox and….
Charlotte gasped out loud. Lennox .

It would not have been out of character for the colonel to take advantage of one last
opportunity to take shots at his rival. He had mastered the art of well-slung barbs aimed
where they would cause the most damage to a man he knew to be vulnerable. She had seen
and heard the harm he could cause herself. If Mr. Colbourne had taken any of his words to
heart, it could have planted new seeds of doubt inside him. His disappearance after speaking
with Lennox that day certainly lent credence to the possibility that his interaction with the
man had driven him to make a drastic decision.

Yet, she had no proof that Lennox was the reason for his sudden change in behavior towards
her. And even if the colonel had been involved, it did not change the fact that he had made
the choice to push her away, to end whatever was growing between them with so little regard
for her feelings or opinions. He had not even considered discussing his own thoughts,
feelings and fears with her. He had made the decision alone to deny her the right to choose to
love him.

Her mother was right. She did have a choice to make. She could choose to forgive him for his
actions and words. She could choose to not allow her anger to fester inside her and move on
with her life. She need never see or speak with him again. It wasn’t as if she would run into
him on the streets of Willingden. And surely someday the memories and the feelings she had
for him would fade until they were nothing more than some vague remembrance of a summer
from long ago.

*****

Florence Wheatley was tired. For the past week, she’d been dealing with what seemed to be a
neverending deluge of emotions from the entirety of Heyrick Park. Even the indoor staff and
the dog seemed out of sorts. They were all on tenterhooks, anxiously waiting for the next
outburst from an overwrought child, an angry young woman or their rarely seen, morose
master.

Her heart ached for the girls. In a single moment, they had lost a woman who had become
such a happy influence on them. Little did they know when Miss Heywood had brought the
girls back from the parade all those weeks ago that she would be such a beacon of light in
their lives. She’d tamed Miss Leonora, encouraging her interests and independence of spirit,
no matter how outlandish her imagination became. She’d treated Miss Augusta with the
respect that the young woman had been craving, helping to steer her into Society as one
would expect from a loving older sister or cousin, rather than a governess. The girls had
stopped arguing and had become more like sisters than cousins.

They had been distraught when they had realized that Miss Heywood was gone. Leonora had
cried herself to sleep in her cousin's bed nearly every night since and picked at her food at
each meal. She’d become recalcitrant, ignoring when she was told to do something or
speaking out of turn. Mrs. Wheatley was convinced that if it hadn’t been for her older cousin
taking pity on her, the child would have been in very real danger of running away. And while
Augusta might be willing to offer her younger cousin comfort, she was quite unwilling to
forgive her uncle for his part in the misery they were all feeling.
And if her heart ached for the girls, it had broken for Xander. As frustrated as she was with
the decision he had made, she could not help but recall the state he’d been in after the death
of his late wife and pray that this time he would not sink lower than he had been before. He
had always been a solitary child and his thoughts and emotions had always run a little deeper
than most. Already prone to isolation and introspection, the pain he was feeling over the loss
he’d inflicted on himself and the girls was threatening to overtake him again.

He had disappeared for hours after he’d sent Miss Heywood away, just as he had the day
before when they had ridden to the military camp looking for Leonora. While she knew that
Augusta had begged him to go to her and ask for forgiveness, she did not know if he had
actually done so. When he’d finally returned, he’d locked himself in his study, refusing to
open it even for her. No one saw him over the next few days, although she knew he was
leaving his study to seek his bed for at least a few hours each night and eating a little from the
trays she’d been leaving in his room.

After he’d been hiding for a full week, she’d finally had enough. She would not allow him to
repeat his mistakes. He had neglected himself and the girls long enough and it was time for
him to begin living again, for their sake if not his own. So she placed herself outside his
bedroom door in the early hours of the morning and waited.

*****

Xander knew that he could only avoid Mrs. Wheatley for so long. So he wasn’t actually
surprised to find her waiting outside his bedroom door early in the morning, only that she’d
waited as long as she had. “Mrs. Wheatley,” he mumbled without making eye contact.

“Alexander.”

He winced. She only called him Alexander when she was angry with him. As much as she
cared for him, she had little patience for his self-pity if it meant he was neglecting himself or
his daughter and niece.

She eyed him up and down. “You’ve lost at least half a stone. And you need a bath and a
shave. I’ve a tray being prepared for you and water is being heated as we speak.”

He sighed and walked back into his bedroom, sitting down on the end of the bed. He didn’t
have any words for her, at least not ones that she would want to hear.

“It’s been a week, Xander. It’s time you set this aside and be the father and uncle and those
girls need. Miss Leonora is beside herself. She’s confused and heartbroken. Miss Augusta
and I have been doing our best to comfort her but she needs her father.”

He raised his eyes to her, ashamed. “Not when her father is the one who caused the pain she’s
feeling. And I’m certain Augusta is still angry and will probably never forgive me.”

“Forgiveness and healing take time, Xander. You were well on your way to healing things
between you before. I know you can do it again.”
He shook his head. “That was all Miss Heywood’s doing. She brought us back to life. And I
ruined everything.”

“I won’t claim to agree with your decision. It’s been made and you cannot pretend it didn’t
happen. Whether or not you regret it now makes no difference. But will you disregard all the
good she did here by falling back into your old ways? You show no respect to the memory of
her in this house if you do.”

His head snapped up, startled by her question. She was right of course. He had disrespected
Charlotte when he’d lied to her and said he felt only shame and regret when he’d kissed her,
not once but twice. He had disrespected her when he’d turned her away. And if he let things
return to the way they had been, he was only continuing to do so. And adding insult to injury,
he was disrespecting Leo and Augusta by ignoring their needs. It was time for him to stop
wallowing in self-pity and self-recrimination and for him to dedicate his life to raising Leo
and guiding Augusta into adulthood. He owed it to them. And even if he never saw her again,
he owed it to Charlotte.

*****

Xander walked into the breakfast room, his daughter and niece already sitting at the table.
They both looked simultaneously startled and wary at his sudden appearance. He could not
fault them considering the last time he’d joined them for breakfast, he’d subsequently taken
the one person that meant the most to both of them away.

He sat down, the maid quickly setting a place for him. He silently observed the girls as they
were served their meals. Leonora was once again dressed in his old childhood shirt and
breeches, although the despised red coat was at least missing. She sat slumped in her chair,
only grudgingly present as she refused to look at him, her arms crossed.

He cleared his throat. “What are your plans for the day, Augusta?” Augusta turned her head
to look at him for the first time, her eyes hard. It was then he noticed the small bruise on her
cheek. “What happened to your face?”

It was obvious she was still angry with him and unsurprisingly, it would not be easy for him
to earn her forgiveness. She glanced quickly across the table at Leo. “There’s no need to
concern yourself, Uncle. I’m sure you have more pressing things to attend to.”

He looked at Leo, who now appeared apologetic and frightened. Suspicion and shock rippled
through him. Even in her worst moments, his daughter had never hit anyone before. “ Leo ?
Did you strike Augusta?”

Tears welled up in Leo’s eyes and she jumped up from her chair, running from the room
before he could say another word. Xander stared after her for a moment before he set his
serviette on the table with a sigh. Clearly everyone’s emotions were running amuck, not just
his own. Once again, he felt a surge of guilt.

“You’re not going to yell and demand she return, Uncle?” Augusta's tone was both surprised
and condescending, reminiscent of the way she’d been prior to Charlotte’s arrival at Heyrick
Park.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Augusta, I’m not yelling at anyone,” he met her eye.
“I would, however, appreciate it if you’d explain to me why Leo struck you.”

Her eyes softened ever so slightly. “It wasn’t intentional. She had a bad dream and struck me
in her sleep. She has already apologized and I’ve assured her that there’s nothing to forgive as
she can hardly be expected to control her limbs when she’s not awake.”

He frowned. “Why were you with her when she was sleeping? Did she cry out and wake
you?” Leo’s room was next door to his and he had heard nothing in the night, even though he
was most likely still awake given how little he’d been sleeping of late.

“Perhaps if you hadn’t locked yourself away for the past week, Uncle, you would know that
Leo has been sleeping in my room since Miss Heywood left so unexpectedly. She has had
nightmares nearly every night.”

Xander suddenly felt ill. He had expected Leo to be upset over losing her beloved governess
but had not expected her sleep to be disrupted as a result. He was all too familiar with the
torment nightmares caused. He also felt a deep sense of shame for being so selfish as to
ignore his daughter’s needs while her cousin was helping care for her in his stead.

“Augusta, I owe you an apology. You should not have had to take care of Leo because I
wasn’t being a good father or uncle. I swear to you that I will not allow myself to withdraw to
such a degree again.”

The anger she exuded faded with his apology but she continued to look at him with a degree
of skepticism. “I may not have always been the best at showing it but I do care about Leo a
great deal. She is the closest I will ever have to a sister. I do not mind providing her any
comfort that I can when she needs it.” She twisted her serviette. “And while I may not
understand what happened with Miss Heywood, I do know that it caused you a great deal of
pain and for that I am sorry.”

He ducked his head in acknowledgment. “Thank you, Augusta. I have made many mistakes
in my life and I know I will make many more but I am trying my best to learn from them. I
may not always be successful but I promise you that I will keep trying.

“I appreciate that, Uncle.” She blinked rapidly as she gave him a somewhat watery smile.
“Will you require assistance in finding Leo?”

He shook his head. “I have a fairly good idea of where she might be.”

*****

The walk through the estate to find Leo had somewhat cleared Xander’s head of the cobwebs
and shadows from the week before. He should have been outside in the fresh air for the past
week instead of locking himself away indoors. He slowed when he reached the wooded area,
wending his way amongst the trees and fighting back the memory of another search for Leo
not all that long ago.
He looked up into the branches of the aged oak above him, spying his daughter easily.
“Leonora, you are discovered.”

If he’d been hoping for some form of a happy reaction to her father finding her in her favorite
hiding spot, he was disappointed. Instead, she ignored him, her eyes fixed on a piece of fabric
she held in her hands. Drawing a deep breath, he started climbing, his hands and feet finding
the same places he’d used as a child to make his way up through the branches. He was much
larger than he had been the last time he’d climbed this tree and he tested the weight of each
branch as he went. He came to settle on a thick branch slightly below her, bringing him to her
eye level.

“This was my favorite spot as a boy too,” he offered tentatively. “Did I ever tell you that?”

She shook her head. “No. You always just tell me to get down and get washed for dinner.”

Only a week ago he’d promised to become the father she deserved and he’d miserably failed
in his promise the very first moment he’d had the chance. Tears pricked at his eyes. How had
he turned into the type of man who ignored his own child? Despite swearing that he would
never end up like his father, he’d still grown to be just as bad. For surely ignoring Leo was
just as devastating to her as his own father’s indifference had been to him.

“I’m sorry I’ve not been around when you needed me, Leo. I promised you at the camp that I
would be a better father. I was being selfish when I should have been there for you.”

“Mrs. Wheatley said you needed time to yourself.”

He nodded. “That’s true. But I am a grown man and I should have been taking care of you
and Augusta. I’ve already apologized to Augusta and now I’m apologizing to you.”

“Were you sad that Miss Heywood left?” Her blue eyes were bright with unshed tears.

“I was,” he admitted. “And that’s alright, Leo. It’s alright to be sad.” She nodded slowly,
twisting the cloth in her hand tightly. “What do you have there?”

She unfurled the fabric. “Miss Heywood tried to teach me embroidery on her first day. I
wasn’t very good at it.”

He held out his hand and she reluctantly handed it over. Even to his untrained eye, the rows
of stitches were crooked with knots of thread oddly placed. “I’m certain that if you’d like to
learn, Augusta would be happy to help you. I understand she’s quite proficient.”

Leo shook her head. “I don’t like embroidery. It’s boring. I’d rather lay out battles with my
soldiers.”

“Then why do you have that with you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have anything else to remember her by.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing slowly in and out. “That’s not all you have, Leo.
You have all of the specimens you collected and the pictures you painted. You can go into the
 school room at any time and feel her all around you,” his voice wavered. “And you will
always have the memories you made together.”

“But why did Miss Heywood leave?”

He swallowed hard, past the lump in his throat. The truth would only cause her more pain.
“Miss Heywood has a family too, Leo. She has a mother and a father who love her and
eleven brothers and sisters who do as well. They all missed her and she missed them too.”

“But I love her. And I miss her too.” The tears she’d been fighting finally fell down her
cheeks.

He reached for her across the branches, carefully pulling her into his arms. “I know, Leo. I
know.”

Chapter End Notes

Okay, hear me out...our girl Charlotte is smart. I don't believe she wouldn't have put two
and two together and figured out the timing with Xander going back to talk to Lennox.
That doesn't mean she's not hurt and angry for being disrespected though. Also, I have
every faith that Mama Heywood would have known her daughter was in love and
Charlotte was keeping a LOT bottled up to not eventually tell someone. I know others
have used William as Papa Heywood's name and I went with it simply because I like it.
Sorry it's not a happier chapter after the last one but our lovebirds are hurting.

As always, thanks for the kudos and comments. I love reading your thoughts and
insights!
 Two Months Later
Chapter Summary

Decisions have been made.

Characters are the creation of Jane Austen and the creators and writers of Sanditon.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Two Months Later

“Xander?”

He shook himself out of his thoughts, breaking his gaze from the window he’d been staring
out of for an unknown length of time. “My apologies, Mrs. Wheatley. I didn’t hear what you
said.”

She looked at him patiently, an indication that she’d probably already repeated herself,
something that had become more and more common as he spent untold hours simply staring
out the window in quiet contemplation.

“You’ve been staring out that window expecting something that won’t happen,” she said
gently but with a hint of disapproval. “You’re only hurting yourself, Xander.”

“I am doing my best,” he insisted sharply, his frustration coming to the surface.

Despite his vexation at being reminded once more of what he was missing, he knew she was
right. If he were to be honest with himself, he was still living a half-life, plodding through
each day, his only agenda to make it to the next. He had been shown what their lives could
truly be and anything less now paled in comparison.

After those first days, when he had been as low as he ever had been before, he’d worked hard
to pull them all out of the shadows once more. He’d ensured that he was present at every
meal and did his best to create conversation. He’d engaged Augusta in discussions about the
books she was reading, suggesting new ones and even reading one or two of the ones she’d
suggested back. He’d taught her how to play chess and they now played most nights,
although neither of them were particularly accomplished. He’d ordered her new music from
London and encouraged her to play, even suggesting that she begin teaching Leo as well.

He’d taken to teaching Leo mathematics and the sciences. They would take walks around the
estate if the weather permitted, exploring the plants and animals they found as he taught her
the scientific names he still remembered from his days at school. He found a book on flora
and fauna and they would sit together on a felled log or next to the pond, leafing through the
pages until they found whatever plant they happened to be searching for within its pages. He
even began reading each night with her before she went to bed. Slowly, her nightmares
became a thing of the past and she began to stay in her own bed once more, although she still
would seek Augusta’s on occasion when she was feeling particularly lonely.

Yet despite all of their efforts, a pall remained over the house.

“My apologies, Mrs. Wheatley. I did not mean to speak so harshly. I am at a loss as to what
else to do.

“I know, Xander,” she said softly. “But perhaps…”

“Just say what’s on your mind, Mrs. Wheatley.”

“Perhaps it would be best for you and the girls to leave Heyrick Park for a few weeks. Get
away from this place and go where there are no memories. It would be good for all of you.”

He blinked rapidly. Leave Heyrick Park? Other than his trip to London to gather Augusta
after the death of her parents, he had rarely left the estate, since Lucy had died, even to go
into Sanditon. He much preferred to conduct his business through correspondence when
possible. He knew he’d developed a reputation as a recluse as a result but he held little regard
for others personal opinions of him as long as he was viewed as a fair and honest
businessman.

The idea of leaving his home after so many years was disconcerting. He’d become such a
creature of routine that it seemed almost incomprehensible to do something completely
different. The changes wrought by Charlotte, small as they were, had seemed momentous to
him at the time. Packing up the girls and traveling farther afield than town had never even
entered his thoughts and seemed quite daunting.

“You would do well to consider it, Xander. It’s time you moved on.”

He stood up abruptly from his chair, suddenly anxious to leave the confines of his study.
“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley. I…I think I’ll take a walk.”

*****

Xander often tried to find places on the estate that didn’t carry some memory that was
associated with Charlotte, for surely nearly every room that was commonly used in the house
reminded him of her in some way. The school room, drawing room, and his study were
forever joined with her memory and he’d taken to avoiding the kitchens as well. Although
she’d never set foot inside its walls, his bedroom was by far the worst place to try to escape
his thoughts. Each night he was subjected to dreams of her…dreams so vivid that when he
woke, in that brief moment between sleep and wakefulness, he could smell her on his sheets
and feel the soft skin of her cheek beneath the tips of his fingers. Nightly, he gifted her a
cornflower posy and she would grace him with a smile in return. He’d relived the sweetness
of their kisses a hundred times and their painful parting more times than he cared to recall.
There were certainly many places spread across the thousand plus acres that had no
association with her for their time together was, in all actuality, quite short if he really
considered the matter. But inevitably, his legs would carry him to someplace that would bring
her to mind…the pond where she gathered snails with Leo, the swing where they’d picnicked
together, Leo’s hiding place, the tree where they’d kissed. It seemed he could not avoid her
no matter how hard he tried.

Today, his feet carried him towards the cliffs where he’d offered her the position as governess
shortly after she’d upended his life for the first time. The path that had been worn into the
grass by her near daily treks to and from the house still led right to the sea, although it was
now blurred unless one knew where to find it. He’d walked this same path many times since
she’d left Sanditon, enough that the path had not been allowed to peacefully fade away. He
knew he should leave it alone, allowing the land to erase all evidence that she had passed this
way, but he couldn’t yet bring himself to do so.

The smell of the sea air welcomed him as he approached the cliff. For as long as he could
remember, the repetition of the waves breaking had been comforting to him. It was as though
he was watching the ocean breathing in and out. He made his way down a narrow path to the
beach below, stopping at the very edge of the water and closing his eyes.

His thoughts turned to Mrs. Wheatley’s suggestion. Despite all of their best efforts, they
could all do with time away from Heyrick Park. Augusta deserved the opportunity to attend
Society events, even if the season was over. There were still private balls, parties and dinners
to attend if one was in a larger city where Society was a fact of life, whether it was in season
or not. He could not force himself to take the girls to London but there were other options
that were more appealing to him, even if only slightly.

The more he considered it, the more it seemed like an acceptable idea. He’d been holed up at
the estate for so long, he’d nearly forgotten what it was like in the city. And while the crowds,
noise, and Society expectations did not appeal to him, the shops, museums, theatres and other
available activities would thrill Augusta and Leo and the image of the two girls excited about
anything after the past two months pleased him to a surprising degree.

He hadn’t had many friends at university but the few he did have had been close and loyal to
a fault. He’d maintained correspondence over the years with one such classmate who
happened to live in Bath. His friend and his wife were guardians of her two younger sisters
who, if he recalled correctly, were close in age to Augusta, a similarity to himself that now
seemed quite propitious. He was almost certain that if he arranged to let a house in Bath for a
number of weeks, his friend and his wife would be happy to welcome them and make all of
the necessary introductions for Augusta to Bath Society. While smaller and less varied than
London, Bath would still afford Augusta the opportunities to attend the events she craved and
that would introduce her to a variety of young men and women her age.

His decision suddenly made, Xander released a long breath, feeling as if a little of the weight
that had been bearing down on him for so long had eased by a small amount. Leaving
Heyrick Park would hopefully afford all of them the opportunity to finally move past the
events of the summer. He may never forget the way he felt about Charlotte but he would try
his hardest to do the one thing she had truly asked of him…to become the father she believed
he could be. Turning, he made his way back up to the top of the cliff and began retracing his
steps towards home.

As he walked, it suddenly struck him that the path would be gone by the time they returned.

Perhaps it was for the best.

*****

“Charlotte!”

Charlotte turned her head, spying her sister hurrying towards her. Having spent all afternoon
sewing on her sister’s trousseau, she’d only just left the house a few minutes before,
intending to take a short walk to ease the muscles in her back and to collect her thoughts. Her
sister’s level of anxiety had been steadily rising the closer it got to the day of her impending
nuptials. She’d taken to checking on the long list of remaining tasks to be done with a
frequency that threatened to set Charlotte’s teeth on edge.

Charlotte paused next to the garden fence. “Alison, I’ll finish sewing your chemise this
evening, I promise. I need to stretch my legs and rest my eyes for a few minutes.”

Alison gripped the fence rail. “Charlotte, Mama just told Declan and I the most awful news.
Please say it isn’t true!”

She locked her eyes on the large oak tree at the top of the hill in the distance, knowing
exactly the news that Alison was referring to. “You know it’s true, Alison,” she sighed.

“Charlotte, you cannot marry Ralph! You do not love him!”

She shot her sister a firm look. “I have not yet given Ralph an answer. And you know that
Ralph is a kind, hard-working man. He would make any woman a good husband. I have
always been fond of him.”

“Fond is not the same as being in love, Charlotte,” Alison protested. “You always said that
you did not wish to marry Ralph. Why would you change your mind now?”

“I told Ralph I would consider his proposal,” she said as patiently as she possibly could.
“Father and mother cannot continue to support me indefinitely, Alison. I am three and twenty.
It is time I married and relieved them of the burden. They’ve been more than patient.”

“You deserve to marry for love! You should not be forced to marry otherwise!”

“I am not being forced to marry. I have loved and lost and now I must move on. And why
shouldn’t I marry Ralph? It’s what Papa and Ralph’s father have wanted since we were small.
It will benefit both families.”

Alison shook her head, her expression stubbornly disapproving. “I cannot help but believe
that if you marry Ralph, you will regret it. Could you not ask the Parkers if you can stay with
them in Sanditon? They said you were welcome to stay as long as you liked. Who’s to say
you can’t still meet a nice gentleman in Sanditon and fall in love?”
Charlotte shook her head, her heart clenching in her chest. She did not need to be reminded of
Sanditon. “No, I won’t take advantage of Tom and Mary’s generosity again. My home is
here.”

Beyond Alison, Charlotte saw her sister’s fiancé approaching from the house. She had
quickly come to appreciate her future brother-in-law. His calm, quiet intelligence and dry
humor complimented Alison’s exuberance and impetuousness. He’d ingratiated himself with
the family and she could hardly ask for a better husband for her sister. She would miss them
both when they returned to Ireland to his family’s farm after the wedding.

“Charlotte,” Declan tipped his chin in greeting. “Alison, your mother sent me to find you,” he
said, his eyes flitting back to his fiance. “She asked me to tell you that she needs you in the
house.”

Alison threw her hands up in the air. “Maybe you can talk some sense into her, Declan. She
won’t listen to me. Tell her she cannot marry Ralph when she does not love him!” She shot
her sister one final look of frustration before she turned and marched haughtily back to the
house.

Declan leaned on the fence next to her, squinting into the distance. He was silent for a long
moment before finally speaking. “I saw you together, if you recall,” he said. “That day at the
camp when you came looking for his daughter.”

Charlotte stilled. She had forgotten that Declan was there when they’d exited Colonel
Lennox’s tent, just before she and Leo had ridden back to Heyrick Park. She knew without
asking the exact moment he was referring to. “It was nothing.”

“What I saw,” he looked at her pointedly, “was a man clearly in love with you.”

She could still see the look in his eyes when he’d reached out and taken her fingers briefly in
his. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “You’re mistaken.”

“Am I? You forget I was at the ball the night before as well. It was obvious to anyone
watching the two of you dance together that he only had eyes for you.”

She shook her head, trying to dislodge the memories. “It hardly matters what you think you
saw, Declan. He did not love me and I do not love him.”

He studied her closely. “I know we’ve not known each other long, Charlotte, but I’ve come to
care for your family a great deal and consider myself lucky to count you as a sister. If you do
agree to marry Mr. Starling, it’s unlikely that Alison and I will be able to attend as we leave
for Ireland after the wedding. So I’ll say my piece of brotherly advice now. I don’t claim to
know how you feel nor do I claim to know what may have happened between you and
Colbourne. But I know what I saw when he looked at you and I know what I see in your eyes
when you think about him as well.” He pushed himself away from the fence. “It’s one thing
to marry a man when you do not love him. But it’s another to marry a man when your heart
belongs to another.”
Charlotte stared after him as he meandered back to the house. She grit her teeth in annoyance
and began to walk, her feet carrying her towards the old oak on the hill. She was growing
frustrated with the number of people who felt that they knew what she was feeling more than
she did. Between her mother and Declan telling her she was in love with Mr. Colbourne, her
sister telling her she could not possibly marry Ralph because she did not love him and her
father telling her she would grow to love Ralph over time, she felt as though she had no
control over her own feelings.

She reached the top of the hill and sat down beneath the tree, a favorite spot of hers to think
since childhood. From here, she could see the entirety of the farm spread out before her.
She’d always loved how the land looked from a distance, finding comfort in the patchwork
pattern the buildings and fields made.

Just past the borders of her family’s farm, the Starling farm extended further to the east. The
two families had known each other for generations, coming together for celebrations and
holidays for her entire life. Her parents and the Starlings had spoken of a marriage between
their eldest children from the moment she’d been born. In the eyes of the two family
patriarchs, it had been a foregone conclusion.

She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Marrying Ralph would
make their parents happy. She would be close to the family she loved so dearly, able to watch
her younger siblings continue to grow and have families of their own. Her life with Ralph
would be much the same as the one she’d had growing up. She had no doubt that she would
be content living her life in Willingden. She had always been happy here and knew she could
be happy here for the rest of her life if she wanted to be. Choosing Ralph was the best
decision for their families.

Why couldn’t she simply make the decision she knew everyone wanted for her?

Damn her soon to be brother-in-law and his heart of a poet.

She’d spent the past two months determined to forget Alexander Colbourne and in a single
moment, Declan had brought back the jumbled mess of emotions that ensnared her every
time he entered her thoughts. Her anger had dissipated weeks ago, her mother’s words
helping her let go of the ire she’d felt since he’d walked out of Trafalgar House. It had taken
her longer to forgive him and there were still days she wasn’t sure if she’d completely
absolved him yet.

The more she’d considered his actions, she’d become more confident that he’d dismissed her
purely out of fear. A decade after his wife’s betrayal and tormented by her subsequent death,
he’d been too afraid to allow himself to love her and even more afraid to let her love him,
believing she would only be hurt in the end. But his lack of respect by giving her no say in
the matter and the words he’d used when dismissing her still caused her distress.

Charlotte closed her eyes tightly, pressing her forehead to her knees. She told herself once
again that it didn’t matter if she forgave him. It didn’t matter if she knew the reason why he’d
done what he had or not. It didn’t matter if she thought he had loved her and it didn’t matter
if she’d thought at one time she could love him in return. She would never see him again.
Sanditon and Heyrick Park were not her home.
Her parents and Ralph had offered her a choice while Alexander Colbourne had given her
none. Her home was in Willingden and it always would be.

*****

Xander carried the last of their cases to the waiting carriage. He set them on the back of the
carriage, Mr. Maddox gathering up the leather straps to hold them in place. The house had
been closed up, the furniture covered and windows shuttered. The house staff would do
whatever tasks Mrs. Wheatley required of them to ensure the house was up to her standards
before receiving a holiday, their pay for the month in hand.

“How long will we be gone, Father?” Leo asked, her eyes pleading once again for him to
change his mind.

“I cannot say. We’ve been confined here too long. We need a change. All of us.””

He had hoped the girls would be excited about the trip to Bath but, after more than a year of
being out of London, Augusta was uncommonly anxious about being introduced into Society
in a new city with people she did not know. Leo was upset that she would no longer have the
run of the meadows, ponds and woods of a large estate and had been quite disappointed to be
told that her well-worn pair of breeches must stay behind.

Unbidden, his thoughts turned to Charlotte. Were she here, she would have known the right
words to comfort and reassure them both. He looked once more to Mrs. Wheatley, who
nodded her approval. He climbed into the carriage and closed the door, gripping the handle
tightly. Heyrick would still be here when they returned. He only hoped that the ghosts he was
so desperately fleeing would not.

*****

Charlotte broke away from the dancing, eager to speak with the Parkers and Georgiana who
had so generously traveled from Sanditon for Alison’s sake. She’d missed them all a great
deal over the past two months. It saddened her each time she thought about how she would
rarely see them in the years to come.

“You must come and stay with us again soon, my dear,” Mary insisted.

“All of our sea view apartments have been taken,” Arthur added, eagerly sharing the news of
the ever-expanding town. “Even one by Georgiana.”

Tom tipped his glass of champagne to her. “Sanditon goes from strength to strength.”

“I shall be holding a party for my 21st birthday,” Georgiana took her hand. “Promise you will
return for that.”

Charlotte smiled and squeezed Georgiana’s hand in return. Before she could speak, they were
interrupted.

“Forgive the interruption, but I believe I’m promised the next dance.”
 Charlotte turned to find Ralph happily standing next to her. “May I introduce Mr. Ralph
Starling.”

“Charlotte talks of you often and with great fondness,” Ralph said politely. “I assume she’s
told you our happy news?”

Georgiana looked at her suspiciously. “What news is that?”

She knew the announcement would come as a shock to them all, especially Georgiana who’d
heard all about Ralph over the summer from Alison and been privy to her adamant
declarations regarding her future plans. She drew a deep breath.

“Ralph and I are to be married.”

Chapter End Notes

I'm not the biggest fan of this chapter. It was hard to write for some reason - particularly
Charlotte. My great thanks for Declan Fraser for popping into my head to help things
move along.

I'm still working under the theory that if Charlotte was so adamant about receiving an
apology and explanation after the garden party, she would have been just as upset at
Colbourne when she returned to Sanditon in S3 if she had not already worked out at
least a theory for his reason to send her away and come to some level of forgiveness on
her own. Otherwise, I'm convinced our girl would not have so readily gotten handsy
with him and been so open to his advances. She was awkward with him because she'd
been hurt, yes, but not overtly angry and never did ask for an apology or explanation.

Note - The path that Xander walks is a small nod to the path in chapter 8 of
peasemealBrose's wonderful story, "A Summer's Ball".
 Out of the Shadows
Chapter Summary

Our favorite couple find that they can't wait to return to their beloved Sanditon.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Out of the Shadows

Xander placed himself in the shadows between a column and a large decorative potted palm
and watched the dancing in front of him with bemused disinterest. After nearly a month in
Bath, he knew most of those in attendance by sight if not by name and not one of them would
have been able to tempt him to leave the quiet of his secluded corner at that moment. His
tolerance for the expectations of Society had worn thin long ago.

In addition to his desperate attempt to remove himself and the girls from near constant
reminders of Charlotte Heywood, their trip to Bath had the added expectation that his niece
would be out in Society with the intention of attracting any number of potential suitors and
hence a potential marriage. As her guardian, he had assumed the duty of ensuring that she
was ultimately protected by marrying a man who would ensure she was financially secure as
well as happy and he was determined not to fail her, or the memory of her parents, in this
regard.

He had not been surprised by the attention Augusta had received upon their arrival, from
either the young women or the gentlemen. Her inheritance automatically made her a desirable
match for any suitor and her beauty and intelligence singled her out as either a new and
exciting companion or as a rival to more than one young woman looking for a match of her
own. At first his niece had found the attention from so many young gentlemen exciting and
overwhelming. But she’d quickly discovered that her inheritance was more attractive than her
brain to many of the men who filled her dance card and her sharp tongue swiftly left those
who could not keep up with her intellect in her wake, much to his unforeseen amusement.

What he had not expected upon their arrival in Bath had been the decided interest in his own
marital status. He had foolishly assumed that a reclusive widowed farmer from a small
seaside town would not be seen as a desirable prospective husband after a decade away from
Society and having been labeled a cuckold all those years ago in London. The inevitable
passing of time and his success in bringing Heyrick Park back from the brink of ruin had
instead reignited interest in him as a wealthy gentleman farmer who must certainly be in want
of a wife.
His eyes scanned the room, checking on the whereabouts of his niece in the crowded room.
He’d fulfilled his nightly obligations of dancing the first set with her and then quickly exited
the dance floor as unobtrusively and as soon as possible. Still, he kept a close eye on her to
ensure that she was not being led astray by any over-eager young suitors. The more varied
crowd in Bath had been eye-opening for both of them, for Augusta had only attended a single
modest ball in Sanditon and Xander had never before had to watch over the maneuverings of
so many young men jockeying for attention to ensure his niece remained free of any taint of
negative gossip.

Spying Augusta walking towards him, he took a step further back into the recessed corner
hoping to remain unseen, but it was already too late. She inched into the alcove next to him, a
smirk on her face. “Aren’t you too old to be hiding in the corner, Uncle?”

Ignoring her question, he resumed his prior position, leaning his shoulder against the column.
An unexpected result of their forced companionship over the past month had been a
newfound ability for the two of them to communicate, Augusta’s acerbic wit often sparring
with his own dry humor. Although she was still learning the appropriate boundaries, he
frequently found their repartee amusing. He grudgingly admitted to himself that without her
company these past few weeks, he likely would have sunk back into his previous melancholy.

“You don’t seem to be in the mood for dancing this evening, Augusta. Is something the
matter? Are you feeling unwell?”

She shook her head. “I feel perfectly well, thank you. I am merely tired of dancing the same
dances with the same partners.” She eyed him speculatively. “And what about you, Uncle?
You have been hiding in this corner all night. Have you suddenly injured yourself or are you
merely reverting to your old ways and claiming that you do not dance?”

He was surprised that the twinge of pain he felt at her innocent reminder of a ball not all that
long ago passed as quickly as it did. “Like yourself, I find myself in need of a reprieve,” he
replied. “Unlike yourself, I do not find conversing with people I barely know all that easy.”

“I believe Miss Carlisle is most eager for your company,” Augusta tipped her head towards
an elegantly dressed young woman in conversation with an older version of herself across the
room. “I should think you’d know her quite well by now,” she continued cheerfully. “She’s
sought you out at every ball and party we’ve attended since we arrived. She always seems
very interested in speaking to you at great length and her mother is most approving of a
match. I’m certain that with time, her age will no longer be a matter of gossip should you
marry. I believe she is only two or three years younger than I am.”

“ Augusta ,” he said, his tone conveying a warning.

He was well aware of the very young Miss Carlisle and her mother’s aspirations for him. In
fact, the recent escalation in their attention towards him was his primary reason for seeking
refuge in a darkened corner. It was obvious as they both surveyed the room that they were
looking for someone. He wished he could be certain it was not him. It had been made clear to
him soon after their arrival in Bath that the family finances were in shambles due to
mismanagement, and he should be careful that nothing he said in their company could be
misconstrued as a promise of any sort. That a mother would so obviously push a daughter
who was barely out of childhood towards a man twice her age simply for money sickened
him.

His niece, however, was only just warming to her subject.

“Of course, if you prefer someone older , the widow, Mrs. Smythe-Wolford, seems most
anxious to know you better. She cannot be more than ten or fifteen years older than you. I
understand she has a particular interest in finding a husband who would be quite happy to pay
off her numerous debts.”

He sighed loudly. “You know very well I have not encouraged either of them.” Nor had he
encouraged any other women whom he’d sensed had more than a passing interest in making
his acquaintance.

“And what of Miss Arnold?” Augusta continued enthusiastically. “Or Miss Waverly, Miss
Eldridge or Miss Harnett? They have all seemed most hopeful for the opportunity to get to
know you better. Surely one of them enjoys riding.” She furrowed her brow in mock
deliberation, tapping a finger on her chin. “Do you even have any other requirements for a
wife other than their ability to ride a horse, Uncle?”

An unbidden image of warm brown eyes, dimpled chin and tendrils of chestnut hair came to
mind. His jaw clenched as he pushed the recollection aside. Nothing good could come of that
train of thought.

“That’s all very amusing.” The look he conveyed to her indicated that he was anything but
amused. His eyes swept the room, spying a likely target. “I’m certain young Mr. Harley
would be happy to dance with you. Why do you not see if he would like a dance before the
next set begins?” He bit his tongue to keep from smiling at the disgusted look on her face.
The gentleman in question had been a most ardent pursuer of his niece and Augusta
absolutely abhorred his overt simpering.

“You are not even trying, Uncle,” she chided him.

“I am not here to find a wife, Augusta,” he reminded her. “I have no intention of marrying
any of these women and would much rather spend an evening reading than attending balls
and parties. We attend these gatherings for your benefit, not mine.”

“Hmm,” she studied him. “I do not believe there has been much benefit in being in Bath for
either of us then.”

He glanced sideways at her. “You have made a great many new acquaintances and there have
been a number of potential suitors. Do you not care for the company of any of them? Surely a
few live up to your elevated standards.”

“My standards are perfectly fine. There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to be able
to hold a simple conversation on a range of subjects with intelligence, good humor and the
occasional original insight. Just because we are young does not mean we needn’t be articulate
and well-informed.”
Xander bit back a smile. Her attitude wasn’t the least bit surprising. His niece was far too
intelligent and opinionated to settle for just anyone. “Then what do you suggest we do,
Augusta? We came to Bath for the purpose of allowing you to be out in Society. If you no
longer wish to attend these parties and balls, I do not see much reason to remain.”

Her face took on a hopeful look. “We could always return to Heyrick Park. I am certain Leo
would be quite happy to be back on the grounds climbing trees and collecting some more of
her horrid specimens and you cannot deny that you miss your morning rides.”

“I do not deny that I miss being at home and my daily rides,” he admitted. The very thought
of returning home brought him joy. “And I agree that Leo would love to return to Sanditon. I
fear that the many attractions Bath has to offer are nothing compared to the plants and
creatures she finds at home.”

Bath had provided them all the necessary respite from the memories that had overwhelmed
them at Heyrick Park. The diversions they’d found in the city had brought him closer to both
Leo and Augusta. As the days and nights had passed, he’d felt the memories fade and he’d
finally come to the conclusion that he was content to be a father and uncle, ensuring that the
girls had every opportunity and advantage that he could secure for them and dedicating
himself to managing the estate to provide the best living he could for his tenants and their
families. He promised himself that he would no longer lock himself away, allowing Leo and
Augusta to live the lives they were meant to have.

He tempered his excitement until he was certain Augusta was resolved in her decision. “I do
not wish to take you away from attending Society events unless you are absolutely certain
you wish to return home. Your opportunities to make new acquaintances will be greatly
diminished in Sanditon.”

“If by acquaintances you mean prospective husbands, then I am willing to make that
sacrifice, Uncle.” Her eyes swept the room before turning to look at him. “Please, let us
return home to Heyrick Park.”

*****

Charlotte inhaled deeply and raised her face to the sky, the late afternoon sun warm against
her skin. Autumn was beginning to take its hold on the land, the trees changing from the
green of summer to the reds, oranges and golds that came in September and October. She
loved the smells and colors of the season as it changed. Soon the harvest would be over and
life would slow down just a little. Until then, her days would be filled with helping her father
and siblings as they brought in the crops from the fields.

Her muscles had the satisfying ache one only achieved after a long day of hard work. But the
moment she found the letter from Georgiana upon her return home she’d quickly told her
mother she was taking a short walk and left the house, eager to read what news her friend had
sent in private. Her detailed descriptions of the everyday happenings of the Parkers and her
less than enthusiastic thoughts on the recent influx of new suitors now that she had come
fully into her inheritance brought a smile to Charlotte’s face.
But the letter had also included a brief mention of her former employer that had brought her
feet to a standstill. Pausing by the stream, she read the two lines from the letter in her hand
once more.

Mr. Colbourne and his niece and daughter left Heyrick Park for Bath some weeks ago.
There’s been no word on when they are returning.

She could hardly believe it was true. The same man who had hidden himself away from the
world for nearly a decade, who wouldn’t even go into Sanditon itself unless absolutely
necessary, had fled his home for the city? It was nearly impossible to fathom such a change in
him. Had this sudden departure been the result of their last emotional encounter? It seemed
unlikely that the two weren’t somehow related. Were Leo and Augusta doing well? Was
Augusta attending parties and balls in Bath? Was Leo enjoying all of the new experiences the
city had to offer or did she miss the country where she’d spent her entire life?

Oh, how she wished she could ask all of the questions that came to mind upon learning such
news.

A sudden wave of sadness washed over her. That such a dramatic change had happened to
them all and she had missed it. She had not been there to see the excitement in Leo’s eyes as
she explored a new city or how lovely Augusta must have looked attending her first party in
Bath Society. And she had not been there as Alexander Colbourne left his self-imposed exile
for the benefit of his daughter and niece, for she could not imagine that there could be any
other reason for him to do such a thing.

And for the briefest of moments, despite all of the confusion and anger and pain he had
caused her, she was annoyingly proud of him.

She swiped suddenly at the unexpected tear that rolled down her cheek. She hadn’t expected
to miss Sanditon and all of her friends as much as she did and her heart ached still for Leo,
Augusta and Heyrick Park. She mentally chastised herself. She would not allow herself to
miss him .

“Charlotte!”

Turning, she saw the unmistakable figure approaching. Each day she saw him, she waited for
the feeling of excitement and happiness that a woman should feel at the sight of her
betrothed, but it never came. Certainly, she felt the same warm affection she’d always felt for
Ralph, but nothing more.

“Good evening, Ralph. I’m surprised to find you out walking after harvesting all day.”

Ralph fell into step beside her. “Your mother told me you had walked this way, so I thought
I’d come and meet you.”

She smiled, tucking the letter she carried into the pocket of her coat. “That’s unexpected but
nice. Did you have some particular reason to visit the farm today?”

“My parents are hoping that we might set a date for our wedding soon.”
Charlotte's heart sank. They had had this same discussion before. “It’s only been a few weeks
since Alison’s wedding, Ralph. My parents will need time to make all of the arrangements.”
And cover the costs. Two weddings in a short time period would stretch them further than
normal.

“I understand,” he nodded. “But we can at least set a date.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. She knew Ralph was anxious for them to be married but she
still felt hesitant. Still, he was right, they could set a date, but it need not be soon. “I will
discuss it with my parents this evening and let you know.”

Ralph grinned. “That’s all I ask.”

“I’ve had a letter from Georgiana,” she said, changing the subject. “She’s very excited about
her birthday party and has invited you to attend as well. Tom and Mary will be sending their
carriage, so we don’t need to arrange transportation.”

“It’s very kind of Miss Lambe to include me in her invitation,” Ralph said tentatively. “I’m
not sure how I’ll fit in amongst your friends. Your descriptions of everyone and the parties
you’ve attended in the past seem much too fancy for me.”

“You’ll be quite welcome,” she tried to reassure him. “The Parkers are the kindest of families
and Sanditon is not nearly as fancy as the larger cities. I think you’ll quite enjoy being by the
sea. It is like nothing you’ve ever experienced.”

“I will try to enjoy it for your sake,” he agreed politely, although he did not seem all that
enthusiastic. “I know how much you have enjoyed your visits to Sanditon and how important
your friends are to you. I’m not insensitive to the fact that it will sadden you that you won’t
be able to visit them after we are married.”

Charlotte’s heart sank. Ever since she’d agreed to marry Ralph, she had been trying to push
the thought from her head that this would, in all likelihood, be her last visit to Sanditon. As
much as she’d love to continue her visits, she knew that once she was married, they were
likely to have children of their own to care for and there would be Ralph’s farm to look after.
Her days would be full and there simply would be no opportunity…and very likely little
enough funds…for such a luxury.

Over the past two years, Sanditon, the sea and its people had become so dear to her heart.
And not just the Parkers and Georgiana. She had made so many friends in town and she
would miss them all, even the dour and ever judgemental Lady Denham. Tom had certainly
been correct when he’d extolled the virtues and wonders of the seaside town for assuredly
Sanditon had come to feel like a second home.

When she’d first fallen in love with Sidney and her thoughts had inevitably turned to what a
future might look like with him, she’d relished the idea of being in Sanditon. She knew that
he would likely wish to make their home in London but that as close as he was with his
family, regular visits to Sanditon would have been expected. She knew the Parkers would
have been as overjoyed for her to officially be a part of their family as she would have been.
Even when Sidney had returned from London, announcing his engagement to Eliza Campion
 and then when he’d tragically succumbed to yellow fever, she’d taken comfort in knowing
that Tom, Mary and Arthur still considered her family.

And in her all too brief imagining of a future at Heyrick Park, she’d felt almost overwhelmed
with just how much it felt like home. Even before those last few days when her world had
been upended by the suddenness of everything that had happened between them, when she’d
walked from the cliffs through the grass and up the long drive where the trees gave way to
the house, she’d had a sense of belonging. With all its silent stateliness and painful past, it
had welcomed her still.

“Charlotte?”

She blinked rapidly. “I’m sorry, Ralph,” she apologized quickly, realizing that they’d
somehow walked all the way back to the farm without her noticing. She stopped at the gate.
“I’m just tired and my mind wanders away from me.”

He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I understand. It’s been a long day for us both. I’ll tell you
goodnight then.”

She smiled gratefully. “Goodnight Ralph.”

He turned to leave and then stopped, looking back. “And you’ll speak to your parents about a
wedding date?”

She stifled a sigh at his reminder. “Of course,” she acceded.

He reached out and took her hands in his, his face earnest. “I cannot wait to marry you,
Charlotte. I know we’ll have the most loving of marriages and live out the rest of our days
together here happily in Willingden surrounded by our families and friends.”

Charlotte forced a smile on her face and squeezed his hands in return even as she felt as
though a door was locking behind her.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you to everyone for your continued support. I can hardly believe we're heading
into season 3!

Charlotte's voice is still being difficult but Augusta's snark is fun to write...I guess
because I'm pretty snarky myself.
 Return to Sanditon
Chapter Summary

Our favorite couple return to Sanditon and contemplate their futures.

Chapter Notes

This chapter is taken mostly from the scripted content of S3 E1 and there's a lot of
talking. I feel a bit like I'm cheating by using so much scripted conversation and only
providing character insight so please be patient and kind. I did make my attempt at the
famous deleted scene the BLH said was one of his favorites to film. And we get a new
POV - Lady Susan de Clemente.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Return to Sanditon

The smell of salt in the air greeted Charlotte like an old friend as the Parker’s carriage drew
closer to Sanditon. She felt a lightness in her heart that had been missing these last few
months in Willingden. Oh, how she’d missed the town and all of her friends. She could
hardly believe she was about to see them all again, even if the trip was only to be a brief one.

“Look Ralph,” she indicated out the window. “Any moment now you’ll catch a glimpse of
the sea.”

Ralph moved across the carriage to sit next to her. They crested the rise and suddenly the sea
spread out before them, the sun sparkling off the waves in bright bursts of light. She had
longed for the sea with a fierceness she’d little expected.

“I do hope I shall make a good impression,” Ralph said apprehensively. He was nervous
about leaving Willingden for the first time and traveling to see her friends. “I should hate to
let you down.”

She smiled warmly. “You have nothing to worry about.”

*****

“I see your admirers are as keen as ever,” Charlotte teased as the maid presented yet another
letter to her friend as they were looking through Georgiana’s correspondence about the
ongoing search for her mother. She’d missed these times with her best friend, just the two of
them talking.
“Now that I have inherited,” Georgiana placed the unopened missive into a decorative box on
the table, “they are relentless. But my experience with Lockhart has strengthened my resolve
to avoid marriage at all costs.”

“I cannot blame you,” Charlotte empathized.

“There was a time not so long ago that you swore off marriage. Yet here you are. Marrying
the same man you once came here to avoid.”

She had suspected that Georgiana disapproved of her impending nuptials when she’d shared
the news at Alison’s wedding. Her declaration back in the spring that she would not marry
Ralph had not been forgotten. “Not everyone has your fortune. I’ve known Ralph all my life
and for my father, this was a foregone conclusion.”

“But do you love him?” Georgiana pressed, her eyes worried.

The question stabbed at her heart. She hated that she had kept so much from her friend when
she’d last been in Sanditon all those months ago but keeping her growing feelings for her
employer a secret had seemed the right thing to do at the time. Perhaps if she had shared her
heartbreak with her friend, she would understand better why she had agreed to the
engagement after all. But that time was past and she was determined to move on, even if it
meant marrying a man she did not love in the way she had hoped to love her husband one
day. “Ralph is a kind, caring man. I’m very fond of him. Besides, I have loved in the past and
look where that's got me.”

*****

When the green carriage turned onto the long tree-lined drive leading to Heyrick Park,
Xander felt a contentment that had long been missing from his life. He had missed it here.
The carriage came to a stop and he and the girls quickly climbed out, happy to be done with
the long journey from Bath.

“Welcome back ladies, Sir.”

The faithful housekeeper was a sight for sore eyes. He’d missed her quiet presence and sound
advice over the past few weeks. “Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley. We’re glad to be home.”

As he followed the girls inside, he was struck by how much different the house felt even
though seemingly nothing had changed. It was as though a weight had been lifted from him
while they were gone. He went right to his study, shedding his coat onto the back of his chair
immediately.

“I’ve had tea sent to the drawing room for you, Sir,” Mrs. Wheatley followed him into the
study. “I thought you could use some refreshments after your trip. Of course, I can always
bring you a tray if you prefer.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.” He’d heard the tentative tone in her voice, presumably she was
wondering if he would immediately lock himself away to work and ignore the girls as he had
done for years and he did not blame her for doubting him.
He took in the pile of letters on his desk that had not been deemed urgent enough to be
forwarded to him in Bath or had just been delivered within the past few days and awaited his
response. It would take some time to read and respond to them all, a task he decided could
wait until later. For now, he would join Leo and Augusta for tea for he’d promised himself
that his dedication to being a better father and uncle would not pass once they returned home
and he fell back into his normal routine. “I’ll join the girls for tea. This can wait until
tomorrow.”

She smiled at him, clearly pleased. “Very well, Sir.”

He found the girls already settled around the drawing room table, Augusta serving as she’d
taken to doing in Bath…another sign of her growing maturity.

“Now that we are returned, Uncle, I hope you will renounce your campaign in trying to find
me a husband.”

Ah, this argument again . And they’d only just walked in the door. “I would be remiss in my
duty if I did.”

“Why does she have to get married if she doesn’t want to?” Leo enquired.

“To assure her security and position,” he answered, choosing his words carefully in an effort
to prevent Augusta from making some sarcastic comment. “I’m afraid that’s just how Society
works, Leo.”

“And so, I must be subjected to a steady procession of dull, shallow, foppish boys,” his
niece’s tone was full of condescension.

“If marriage is so important, Father, why don’t you find a wife?”

“Because your father is even more particular than I am,” Augusta answered before he could
formulate a response. “At every ball we attended in Bath, he could have had his pick.”

“That was hardly the case,” he countered. He had not been prepared for Leo to ask such a
question about his intentions to ever marry again. Marriage was the furthest thing from his
mind after witnessing the women who had been thrust at him in Bath.

“But none were quite good enough for Mr. Alexander Colbourne,” Augusta continued. “I
suspect you are holding out for some kind of unattainable ideal. A woman of unsurpassable
beauty, who can ride a horse and quote poetry.”

Something in his chest clenched tightly at her description and he caught Mrs. Wheatley
giving him a knowing look. No, not a single woman in Bath had appealed to him because
none of them were Charlotte Heywood. They did not have her same intelligence, spirit,
humor and beauty. There had been no women who were as comfortable on a farm as in a
ballroom and who could recite poetry and Greek mythology and take his daughter to search
for water snails. With Charlotte lost to him, he had no desire to even consider marriage again.
He forced a smile, pushing the thoughts aside. He would not let memories of Charlotte
overwhelm him again. “Find me such a woman, Augusta, and I may yet consider her.”
“Hmm,” she hummed, knowing quite well that he was growing tired of the subject. “I was
hoping that Leo and I could walk to town with Mrs. Wheatley after tea, Uncle. It will be good
to stretch our legs and see Sanditon again after so long.”

Thankful that she’d ended her line of conversation, he readily agreed. “Of course.”

*****

“I do believe I spy her, my dear,” Mary pointed out as they walked along the promenade
together.

Charlotte was desperately looking forward to seeing her friend after so long. Her unexpected
friendship with Lady de Clemente meant the world to her as she greatly respected her opinion
and valued her guidance. Despite her wealth, she had always struck Charlotte as down to
earth, modest and kind. She was a woman who was not afraid to be who she was.

“It is her,” Tom agreed. “That silhouette is unmistakable. Lady de Clemente, we have eagerly
awaited your return.”

“I am heartily glad to be back, Mr. Parker,” Susan greeted him with a smile before turning
towards Charlotte and leaning in for a hug. “My dear, what a tonic it is to see your face
again.”

Charlotte grasped her friend’s hands. “Oh, I could say the very same thing.”

“I am desperate to hear your news.”

“Did you know she’s to be married, my Lady?” Tom enquired.

“I most certainly did not,” Susan exclaimed. “How could you keep this from me? I am
mortally offended. You must tell me everything.”

*****

From the moment she’d met Charlotte Heywood, Susan had felt a connection with the
younger woman. She supposed it was because she reminded her so very much of her younger
self. She struck her as intelligent, level-headed and independent. In short, a young woman
who knew her own mind and wasn’t willing to compromise on who she was to please others.
So it came as quite the surprise to learn her young friend was engaged to be married to a
farmer from her village.

She had always pictured greater things for Charlotte simply because she knew that Charlotte
had pictured greater things for herself. And while she did not necessarily foresee her friend as
living a life entrenched in London Society, she also could not foresee her friend content to
live the rest of her days as the wife to a small village farmer, content to spend her days
mothering a brood of children, keeping house and helping out with the farm chores.

“I am thrilled that you have found such contentment,” she assured the younger woman as
they walked together. “Although I confess, this is not the life I would have expected for you.
That you would marry a farmer and return to your village.”
“Why not?” Charlotte asked. “It has been good enough for my parents. Why should it not be
good enough for me?”

Susan might have been mistaken, but it sounded to her as if Charlotte was trying to convince
herself more than her friend. Before she could fully compose a response, they were
interrupted by an older woman who seemed vaguely familiar in the company of a younger
gentleman and lady who she assumed were most likely her children.

“Lady de Clemente,” the woman practically gushed…an attitude she was all too familiar
with. “Lady Montrose,” she introduced herself. “We met at the late Princess Charlotte’s
wedding.”

Ah, that’s how she knew her from . Rumor was that the late Duke of Buckinghamshire had
gambled away a huge amount of his fortune, perhaps even to the point of leaving his widow
and heir practically destitute. “Mmm. How could I forget?”

“This is my daughter, Lady Lydia Montrose and my son, Lord Montrose, the Duke of
Buckinghamshire,” the dowager duchess introduced her children. She noted that her pride in
her son seemed more to come from his title rather than from the man himself. She assumed
their presence in Sanditon had something to do with the recent inheritance of Miss Lambe
and the as yet unmarried Duke. And with an unmarried daughter as well.

“My friend, Miss Heywood,” she made the expected introduction.

“It appears the entire haut monde is here in Sanditon. I wonder if the newly crowned king
might even pay a visit?”

“Who is to say?” After all this time, Susan had become an expert at diverting inquiries into
the King’s thoughts and plans. Too many expected that by winning her favoritism, they
would be granted the King’s as well. She nodded politely and gently tugged on Charlotte’s
arm, pulling her away. She ducked her head closer to Charlotte’s ear. “Although I have every
reason to suspect he might.”

“Miss Heywood!” A little blond girl rushed towards them before Charlotte could respond.

Charlotte bent, hugging the girl eagerly, her surprise at seeing the child evident. “I thought
you were in Bath!”

“We were,” a tall young woman and an older woman who appeared to be a servant joined
them. “Uncle packed up Heyrick Park soon after you left.”

Charlotte seemed somewhat at a loss for words as she rushed to introduce her to her friends.
“Lady de Clemente, this is Mrs. Wheatley, Miss Markham and Miss Colbourne.”

“How do you do, my Lady?” Miss Markham dipped her head in greeting.

“Why did you leave so suddenly?” Miss Colbourne asked Charlotte, her eyes full of love.
“You never even said goodbye.”
“Oh, Leo, I so wanted to but it was…difficult.” She looked sadly at the three of them. “I
regret the manner of my leaving.”

Susan found herself growing more and more intrigued as the conversation continued. It
seemed most unlike her young friend to ever leave without saying a proper goodbye to
anyone, even more so to those she was so obviously close to. Charlotte seemed to be
hesitating, withholding her true reason for leaving their service so abruptly.

“But now you are back, will you be our governess again?”

“I’m sorry, Leo,” Charlotte apologized.

“Why not?”

“Miss Colbourne!” Mrs. Wheatley chastised her impertinence.

“I’m only here for Miss Lambe’s party tomorrow,” Charlotte explained regretfully. “And then
I’ll be returning home. But it is wonderful to see your faces again. I miss you all.”

“Heyrick Park has felt your absence too, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley added, her eyes
soft.

Clearly, Charlotte had been a much loved addition to this family’s household, something that
she was not in the least bit surprised to learn. Yet she was surprised to learn that her young
friend’s time spent as a governess appeared to have been quite short and her departure had
been hasty and unexpected. It was clear that she held a genuinely deep affection for all of
them and she missed them greatly.

A picture of Charlotte’s life with this family was starting to take shape in Susan’s mind.
Given that the two girls had different last names and Miss Markham had mentioned her
uncle, she surmised that they were cousins, the uncle in question young Miss Colbourne’s
father. She did not know Mr. Colbourne but clearly he was a gentleman of some means if
he’d hired Charlotte as a governess. As no mention had been made of a mother at all, she
wondered if the man was a widower. Something told her there was a story there and she was
determined to learn what it was.

“How long were you their governess?” She enquired after they’d said their goodbyes and
were continuing their walk.

“A few short months.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you made no mention of your wedding to them.”

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

Another intriguing piece of information , Susan thought. For all her affection for the family,
she didn’t think it relevant to share her happy news with them?

“Charlotte!”
“Ralph,” Charlotte greeted the tall man in modest attire who approached them. His familiarity
with Charlotte proclaimed him to be her betrothed. “May I introduce Lady de Clemente. Mr.
Ralph Starling.”

“How do you do, my Lady?”

“Many congratulations, Mr. Starling. You’ve made an excellent choice of wife.”

“I have bought you a present,” he eagerly presented a wrapped package. “It is Mr. Keats’ new
work.”

“Oh, you had no need to do that,” Charlotte protested.

“I wanted to,” Mr. Starling smiled awkwardly. “I thought we might read it together.”

Susan observed the young couple closely. Mr. Starling’s affections were worn plainly on his
sleeve, his adoration of Charlotte unmistakable. She would not be surprised if he’d harbored
feelings for her for some time, even since childhood if they’d known each other that long.
Charlotte’s feelings, however, were less obvious. She had no doubt that Charlotte had some
level of affection for the man. Her determined and intelligent friend would not marry a man
she did not care for to some degree, of that she was certain. But she did not sense a deeper
love for Mr. Starling from her, which saddened Susan a great deal. If anyone deserved to
marry a man she loved with all her heart, it was Charlotte.

*****

“Papa! Papa! You’ll never guess who has returned to Sanditon!” Leo bounded into the room.

Xander noted wryly that her walk to and from town had done little to lessen his daughter’s
endless supply of energy. Humoring her, he pretended to consider her challenge before
closing the book he’d been reading. “No, I’m stumped.”

“Miss Heywood!” She announced triumphantly, her excitement palpable.

Stunned, he quickly looked towards Mrs. Wheatley who nodded silently in confirmation.

“She said how much she missed us all,” Augusta watched him closely as she removed her
gloves, clearly trying to discern his feelings upon hearing the news from his reaction. “How
much she regrets the circumstances of her departure.”

Heart pounding in his chest and mouth suddenly dry, he somehow managed to gather himself
enough to reply. “Did she?”

“You always told us it was her decision to leave.”

Augusta’s face spoke volumes as to her true suspicions as to what had happened between him
and Charlotte but he was not about to confirm he’d made the biggest mistake of his life to
her. “That was my perception.”
With a final glance of amused disbelief at his claim, Augusta directed Leo out of the room,
Mrs. Wheatley following behind with a knowing look of her own.

Charlotte had returned to Sanditon. And with her return, a small seed of hope took root in his
heart.

*****

“You can’t deny it, Mrs. Wheatley,” Augusta prodded her from her place at the kitchen work
table. “You saw how he reacted to her name.”

“I am saying nothing,” she said firmly as she took stock of ingredients.

Mrs. Wheatley had long ago learned to keep her employers secrets to herself. And although
she’d known Xander since birth and felt a deeper level of affection for him that went beyond
master and housekeeper, she tried not to voice her thoughts on his personal life unless he
asked for her opinion or she felt it was absolutely necessary. He’d learned as a child to
interpret her looks and could frequently discern her thoughts without a word needing to be
said. She was well aware that he regretted what he had done and he did not need her to
remind him of his mistakes. She too had seen the look on Xander’s face when he’d been told
that Miss Heywood was in Sanditon and knew he was likely to be ruminating for hours on
what he should do to remedy the situation he had caused.

Leo leaned against the table. “What are you talking about?”

“Your father and Miss Heywood are in love. I have long suspected it. That is why she left so
abruptly. It all makes perfect sense.”

Mrs. Wheatley was not in the least bit surprised that Augusta had deduced that there were
some level of feelings between Xander and Miss Heywood. The girl was clever and
perceptive. She had been witness to her uncle and governess interacting on more than one
occasion, including the picnic he’d joined, whatever had transpired between them at the
garden party and the ball the night he’d brought her home with them. She’d seen Miss
Heywood leave in tears the morning he’d dismissed her and had begged him to go after her.
And she’d been there as he’d withdrawn from them all, clearly upset about his decision to
drive her away.

“But…what does that mean?” Leo asked.

“It means that before she leaves Sanditon, we must force them to acknowledge their feelings
for one another.”

She handed Leo an apple. “And how do you intend to do that?”

Xander would not take kindly to his niece and daughter meddling in his relationship with
Miss Heywood…or lack thereof. But if there was any hope of him gaining her forgiveness
and the two of them renewing the affections that had brought them together over the summer,
he just might need it.
“Perhaps if we could get them to dance together,” Augusta smiled conspiratorially. “If only
somebody was holding a party.”

*****

“It’s a while since I visited the Old Town,” Charlotte said as she and Mary carried baskets
full of food and other items through the streets lined with Sanditon’s most modest dwellings.
“I always thought it an irony that the very people who built Sanditon, and who serve its
visitors, should live so humbly themselves.”

“I’ve never thought of it like that,” Mary admitted.

“And Mrs. Filkins was once your maid?”

“Yes, she married Mr. Filkins and had children and hasn’t stopped since. I visit as often as I
can with a few gifts or provisions.”

“That is kind of you.”

“It’s not just a kindness. It’s nice to find an occupation outside of being a wife and mother.
Rewarding as that is, of course.”

Charlotte had long thought she would love to have an occupation, even after she married. She
supposed that is why becoming a governess had appealed so much to her. More than the
independence a salary had provided, it had given her a sense of self-worth to know that she
was doing something to make a difference in Leo and Augusta’s lives.

They arrived at the small, rough Filkins home. The woman let them into the single room that
served as kitchen, living and bedroom to Mr. and Mrs. Filkins and their five children. The
house was quite dark and drafty and it appeared that there was more than one spot where the
roof leaked. It pained Charlotte to see a family living in such conditions when she herself had
been welcomed into the more lavish Parker home and treated with such hospitality.

“You’re too generous, Mrs. Parker,” Mary’s former maid exclaimed as Mary set the baskets
on the table.

“Honestly, Mrs. Filkins, it’s the least I can do.”

“Forgive the mess. If I’d known you was coming…”

“Not at all.”

“You wouldn’t mind, Miss?” Mrs. Filkins handed the baby off to Charlotte. “It has been a bit
overwhelming, if I’m honest. You always think one more won’t make a difference.”

“I know what it’s like,” Charlotte grinned. “I’m one of twelve.” She looked at the two small
girls playing on the bed in the corner. “And what’s your name?”

“Tess. And this is my sister, Dora.”

“When I visit you next, I’ll bring some books.”

“Will you teach me to read them?”

“Alas, Miss Heywood is leaving tomorrow” Mary apologized to young Tess. “Then she is to
be married.”

“Congratulations, Miss!” Mrs. Filkins smiled cheerfully. “Before you know it, you’ll be just
like me.”

Charlotte schooled her features. Mrs. Filkin’s words struck a chord deep inside her. Her life
after she married would be much different than she’d allowed herself to dream it would be.
Images of her own busy home with her eleven brothers and sisters always running in and out,
demanding attention and her parents often exhausted after a long day and worried over how
they would make ends meet if the farm didn’t do well that harvest. Her parents' love for each
other had helped them get through the hard times, of which there were many. Would she be
able to say the same once she was married to Ralph?

*****

Charlotte was startled to see Leo and Augusta again that afternoon at the beach with Ralph,
Georgiana and the Parkers. It wasn’t all that long ago that they’d snuck out to the military
parade because they’d been confined to Heyrick Park. Now it seemed their uncle was
amenable to them walking to town on a regular basis. Again, she was struck by the apparent
changes in him since she’d left Sanditon.

“Miss Heywood,” Augusta greeted her. “Miss Lambe’s maid told us you were picnicking
here.”

“We have something for her,” Leo added.

“Oh,” Charlotte was surprised. “Georgiana,” she called her friend over. “You remember Miss
Markham and this is Miss Colbourne.”

“Many happy returns on your birthday,” Leo held out a box wrapped neatly with a bow. “We
brought you a present.”

“Thank you!”

“We hope your party is a great success, Miss Lambe,” Augusta said.

Charlotte’s stomach clenched with suspicion at Augusta and Leo’s generosity in giving a
birthday present to someone they hardly knew. Augusta was often too clever for her own
good and Charlotte sensed she had some ulterior motive.

“Forgive me,” Georgiana begged. “When I sent out the invitations, I thought you were in
Bath.”

“What a shame. I should have loved to attend more than anything.”

“I’m sure one more guest won’t make too great a difference. Would it, Charlotte?”

“It’s your party,” she acquiesced.

“You are too kind,” Augusta gushed, “but I would require a chaperone which would mean
bringing my uncle. I fear that is too far.”

Charlotte bit her lip as Augusta’s aim, and all that it implied, became clear. There was no way
she could suggest not inviting Augusta without being rude. And there was no way Augusta
could attend Georgiana’s party without her uncle. Dread filled her even as her pulse began to
race. It seemed there was no way she could avoid seeing him after all.

“Not at all,”Georgiana smiled graciously. “You both would be most welcome.”

*****

Xander inhaled deeply as he stepped foot outside. The morning rain had dissipated, but the
fresh, earthy scent still lingered in the air as he began to walk. He had no planned path or
agenda in mind, only the desire to be out of doors where he could feel the breeze and smell
the plants and ground around him after so long in the city.

His thoughts had driven him from the house despite the work that still sat piled high on his
desk after their weeks away. Despite his best efforts in banishing thoughts of Charlotte
Heywood from his mind for the past few months, a single mention of her return to Sanditon
by his daughter and niece and he once again could not keep his thoughts from turning to her.
To his credit at least, the wanderings of his brain were far less self-recriminating than they
had been over the summer.

He had not considered that Charlotte would return to Sanditon so soon after their emotional
last encounter…if at all. When they’d last met, she had been undeniably and rightfully upset
with him. He was deeply ashamed of how he’d let his fear overpower his feelings for her. She
had not deserved the words he’d spoken to her in his study and he was equally as angry with
himself that he’d been unable to properly apologize to her at Trafalgar House, knowing that
his inability to express what he was feeling had only increased her frustration with him.
When she’d said that she was resolved to leave Sanditon as a result of his actions, that she
could never feel affection for a man who treated her with such little respect, he had felt it in
his very soul.

Yet Augusta had stated that Charlotte had spoken of her regret at the circumstances of her
departure. He did not believe that she would have expressed to the girls and Mrs. Wheatley
that she regretted leaving unless it was the truth. However, her regret did not necessarily
reflect any intention on her part to renew their acquaintance, for surely after his treatment of
her, she would wish to keep as far away from him as possible. If he stood any chance of
gaining her forgiveness, he would have to seek her out himself and pray she would be willing
to listen to him.

The water in the stream had risen with the recent rains and the sound of the water rushing
over the small falls washed over him soothingly as he walked along the bank, birds chirping
cheerfully from the trees. He paused at a break in the treeline, surveying the house as it stood
like a sentry over the grounds, watching silently as generations of Colbournes passed
through.

For years he had hated this house. It had been a place of sorrow and pain for him. But the
dark veil that shrouded his sight had lifted with the coming of Charlotte Heywood. Laughter
and music and light had once again infused its halls. Now, as he stood taking in the solid
foundation and stone walls that protected his family, he felt a newfound peace. At last, he felt
at home within those walls and dared to envision a future here. But would that future include
the woman he loved more than he’d ever thought was possible?

As he walked back to the house with newfound resolution, he encountered Leo and Augusta
walking back from another visit to town.

“Papa! We saw Miss Lambe at the beach,” Leo announced. “She invited Augusta to her
birthday party!”

Xander narrowed his eyes at his niece, somewhat suspicious. It seemed oddly convenient that
she had ventured into town and suddenly came home with a last minute invitation. “I wasn’t
aware you’d become such close acquaintances with Miss Lambe, Augusta.”

He knew Augusta had been introduced to Miss Lambe at Lady Denham’s garden party over
the summer and they’d likely spoken to some degree at the midsummer ball the next day as
well. However, he knew little about the Antiguan heiress other than that she was a ward of
the Parkers and that her fortune had usurped Lady Denham as the wealthiest person in
Sanditon, a fact that amused him only because it surely annoyed Lady Denham to no end.

“Miss Lambe meant to invite us in the first place,” Augusta explained, “but just assumed we
were still in Bath.”

He counted silently in his head, a habit he’d formed in Bath whenever Augusta tried his
patience. He was in no mood for a party. “The party is just hours away. I’m not convinced I
can be good company at such short notice.”

“Augusta has already accepted,” Leo quickly informed him.

He gave his niece an exasperated look. While their relationship had greatly improved over the
past month, she still managed to frustrate him with relative ease. “You should have consulted
me first.”

“Well, I knew you would be keen on attending since there will be so many prospective suitors
there for me to meet,” she paused in the foyer to hand her bonnet and gloves to a waiting
maid. “How could we pass up such an opportunity?”

His suspicions that she was up to some scheme increased. “This seems a rather sudden
change of heart.”

Augusta shrugged innocently. “Perhaps I have learned the error of my ways.”

“Miss Heywood will be there,” Leo happily added.

 Xander froze in the drawing room doorway, turning back around to see the faces of his
daughter and niece looking at him expectantly.

Augusta gave him a pointed look. “She expressed great hope in you attending.”

The surge of hope he felt hearing that Charlotte wanted him to attend the party was nearly
enough to knock him off of his feet. Perhaps it was not too much to wish that he might be
able to make amends after all…and possibly, just possibly gain her forgiveness for the
biggest mistake he’d ever made. And if she did forgive him, might he also dare to hope that
she would give him another chance to prove himself to her? It seemed an impossible dream
but if there was even the smallest chance that the one dream he had presumed to allow
himself might possibly come true, did he not owe it to himself to do whatever it took to make
it happen?

“Since you’ve already accepted, it seems I have little choice.

Chapter End Notes

As always, thanks for the comments and kudos. They are much appreciated. And yes,
I'm delaying the inevitable reunion of our star-crossed lovers.
 The Famous Mr. Colbourne
Chapter Summary

Our favorite couple come face to face at last but things don't work out so well for the
famous Mr. Colbourne.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The Famous Mr. Colbourne

Xander had not been exaggerating when he’d said he didn’t know if he could be good
company so soon after learning he and Augusta were invited to Miss Lambe’s birthday
celebration. He preferred knowing well in advance when he was to be forced into Society and
must expend all of his energy on being pleasant and engaging with people he did not know
and certainly did not care whether they had a good opinion of him. Although his time in Bath
had forced him into a degree of comfort with being out in Society that he’d not held in a
decade, he still much preferred to spend his evenings as far from a crowded ballroom as
possible.

Yet here he was, dressing in his finest attire to attend a party he’d only just learned about with
people he barely knew all so he could hopefully speak with Charlotte once again. If nothing
else, he was determined to apologize in earnest and, if she saw fit to forgive him, to beg her
for another chance to prove he was a changed man.

Looking into the mirror before him, he carefully tied his cravat, smoothing it down the front
of his pristine white shirt before donning the silk waistcoat Mrs. Wheatley had laid out for
him. Within moments, he’d completed his ensemble with his dress tailcoat and made his way
down the stairs, hoping Augusta was ready so he would not be forced to stand waiting any
longer than necessary. He would only lose himself into the swirling thoughts in his head the
longer he prolonged the agony of waiting to see Charlotte again.

He found Mrs. Wheatley waiting for him in the foyer. “Do I pass muster?”

“You must be seen at your best tonight, Sir. Life affords so few second chances.”

“As I’m too well aware,” he admitted. All too well aware of the mistakes he’d made that had
led him to this moment.

His niece appeared before he could further chastise himself. Her time in Bath had served her
well and she looked elegant and much more like the adult woman she was becoming than the
child she’d resembled only a few months ago.
“Well, Uncle, I am ready,” she greeted him with a cheeky smile. “Are you?”

*****

“Charlotte, you look quite spectacular!” Lady Susan greeted her friend and her betrothed as
they entered the Sanditon assembly rooms. Charlotte truly looked the part of the elegant lady
that Susan knew her to be. “I hope you realize how lucky you are, Mr. Starling.”

“Oh, I can’t believe my good fortune,” Mr. Starling agreed. “Although I can’t say what use
Charlotte will have for such finery in Willingden.”

Susan found the comment from Mr. Starling rather odd. Did he not appreciate how truly
beautiful his fiancée looked in her finery? It seemed that his world was quite small indeed.
She found herself saddened by the thought of Charlotte never donning such finery to spend
an evening celebrating with her friends the Parkers and Miss Lambe again.

Biting her tongue, she accepted a glass of champagne gratefully and entered the dramatically
decorated dining room, taking in the masterpiece that Arthur Parker had created. The man
was truly talented. “May I borrow your betrothed for a turn about the room, Mr. Starling?”

“By all means, my Lady. As long as you return her to me.”

The paused in a corner of the room, taking in all of Arthur’s design and the reactions of those
who were entering the room. “The first time we met was at a party not entirely unlike this
one.”

Charlotte smiled at the recollection. “I’d never felt so out of place.”

“Look how far you’ve come!” Truly, Charlotte’s rise from farm girl to the refined woman
before her was impressive indeed. Susan felt such a sense of pride for the young woman
before her. Charlotte had navigated the path with a poise and grace that anyone would envy.

Something caught her friend’s eye, her brief expression of pleasure at seeing someone across
the room bordering on longing. But the moment was fleeting, her smile disappearing into a
look of resigned obligation. Susan turned towards the door to see who had caught Charlotte’s
attention, immediately taking note of a handsome, dark-haired man entering the room with
Miss Markham.

So this must be the renowned Mr. Colbourne.

A seed of suspicion planted itself in Susan’s head. Charlotte’s reaction to seeing her former
employer was most enlightening indeed.

*****

It had become inevitable that they would see each other again the moment Georgiana had
extended an invitation to her party to Augusta and her uncle. She had told herself that enough
time had passed and that she had moved past her feelings for him. But nothing had prepared
her for how she felt when he walked into the room. Their eyes met and he dipped his chin in
acknowledgment, a hint of a smile on his lips. The familiar flutter of attraction she’d grown
so accustomed to over the summer rippled through her, betraying just how much sway he still
held over her, even after so much time apart. Her heart began to race as he walked towards
her, Augusta a step behind.

“Miss Heywood,” his eyes were fixed on her, full of the warmth she remembered all too well.

Thankful for the expected manners Society demanded, she turned towards Susan. “Lady de
Clemente, may I introduce Mr. Colbourne.”

“My Lady,” he bowed politely, his eyes only briefly leaving her face as he acknowledged
Susan’s presence.

Susan nodded. “And I’ve already had the pleasure of meeting Miss Markham.”

“How are you enjoying the party, my Lady?” Augusta quickly led Susan away, leaving the
two of them alone.

The moment she’d both dreaded and desired more than any other since returning to Sanditon
found her at a distinct loss for words. For months she’d imagined what she would do if she
ever saw him again and now every rehearsed word had flitted from her head. She wanted to
rail at him in anger, demanding he explain himself while at the same time wishing
desperately that he’d wrap his arms around her and tell her that he’d missed as much as she
had missed him.

No , she thought. No, you are to be married and he is of no consequence. Tomorrow, he would
be nothing more than a memory once more .

“You look exceptionally well, Miss Heywood.”

Her heart squeezed in her chest. “Thank you. I assume Miss Markham persuaded you to
come.” She immediately regretted the pointed reminder of the last time they’d spoken when
he’d told her he’d come at Augusta’s insistence.

“No. No,” he replied hastily, ducking his head. “On the contrary. I…I came more than
willingly.” Her words had not missed their mark, his understanding obvious. “I was hoping
that we might have a chance to speak.”

Any further opportunity for conversation was interrupted by the insistent voice of Lady
Montrose, behind him, her tone indicating that she was not to be denied an introduction.
“Lady de Clemente, would you be so kind as to introduce us. Can this be the famous Mr.
Colbourne?”

“An introduction seems rather redundant now, does it not?” Susan's dislike of the dowager
duchess was barely hidden.

“On the contrary,” Lady Montrose smiled sweetly. “Mr. Colbourne may not be aware that I
am the Dowager Duchess, Lady Montrose and this is my daughter, Lady Lydia.”

Charlotte felt her stomach sink abruptly. She logically had known that he would be a most
desirable target for any woman seeking a husband but it was a very different matter
witnessing it in person. It was as if he was some prize to be won. Was this how it had been in
Bath? Every unmarried woman clamoring for an introduction to the handsome, wealthy
widower?

“Your Grace,” he nodded politely. “Lady Lydia. My niece, Miss Markham. Miss Heywood.”
His tone made it clear that he was all too aware of the duchess's goal in introducing her
daughter to him.

“How do you do, Miss Markham? A pleasure to see you again, Miss Heywood,” Lady Lydia
smiled graciously.

“And you, Lady Lydia.”

She breathed a sigh of relief when any further conversation was cut-off by the entrance of
Georgiana, giving her an excuse to separate herself from him. If she was lucky, she might be
able to avoid any further discussion between the two of them for the rest of the night.

*****

When she found herself sitting next to Mr. Starling at dinner, Susan was determined to gain a
better assessment of the young man her dearest friend was marrying. She had seen enough to
develop some suspicions of where Charlotte’s true feelings lay but still maintained hope that
her first impression of the gentleman had been wrong.

“Charlotte tells me you have known each other since childhood?”

“I have known her and loved her my whole life, my Lady,” he said earnestly. “Although, I
confess she seems a quite different person here in Sanditon. One I hardly recognize.”

Susan felt a ripple of disappointment. “For better or worse?”

“It is not for me to say.”

Mr. Starling might not have been willing to give voice to his opinion but there was no doubt
in Susan’s mind what he would have said given the opportunity. The Charlotte that she had
come to know and love for her spirit and intelligence, that had grown into a woman who
could easily walk between those who lived modestly and those who spent their times in the
ranks of Society, was not the woman that Mr. Starling expected, or even wanted, to marry.
Mr. Starling was in love with the Charlotte he had known before she’d left their small village,
not the woman she’d become.

*****

Xander leaned back in his chair during dinner and looked towards his niece. He found the
dinner portion of these events trying, seated as they were with strangers. “Have you spotted
any eligible suitors yet?”

“Um, it is too early to tell,” she hedged. “And you, Uncle?”

The look he returned to Augusta was meant to be a warning that he did not find her question
humorous. He could never quite tell if she found it amusing that so many women tried to
court his favor or if she sympathized with him. He suspected she knew that there was only
one woman whose favor he was interested in.

He turned in his chair, his eyes catching Charlotte’s, but she swiftly looked away. His heart
sank. Her wariness of being in his company was evident. If he was to have any hope of
righting the wrong he’d done to her, he must somehow find the opportunity to speak with her
without the company of others. In a crowded ballroom where so many knew her, it was not
going to be easy.

As they left the dining room, Xander spied Charlotte standing alone. Determined to finally
speak candidly with her, he gathered himself and made his way to her once more.” He could
not blame her for the wary look in her eyes when she saw him approaching but it still gave
him a stabbing pain in his heart. He drew a deep breath. “Miss Heywood. When I heard that
you had returned to Sanditon, I could only assume that you would wish to keep your distance.
But when I heard that you had spoken of your departure with regret, I dared to hope there
might yet be a chance to tell you that…”

“Charlotte?”

Startled by the interruption of a man who came to stand next to her, he stopped mid-sentence,
looking between them. He’d spoken her name with a familiarity that left him cold inside.

“Mr. Colbourne, this is Mr. Starling,” she seemed hesitant to introduce them. “He and I are to
be married.”

He stared at her, stunned by her revelation. His chest constricted tightly as he realized he was
expected to say something in response. “Then I must…congratulate you both.” The words
came out rushed as he stumbled over saying the conventional pleasantry that he did not mean.

“Thank you, Sir,” Mr. Starling smiled kindly. “But I interrupted.”

“Not at all,” he said hurriedly. “I…um…was merely inquiring as to whether we might

persuade Miss Heywood to return as our governess.” The lie tasted bitter in his mouth. “But I
see now that is not to be. You have proven to be quite irreplaceable.” His eyes met hers once
more. She looked painfully apologetic. “Miss Heywood. Mr. Starling.”

Unable to remain in the cramped rooms any longer, Xander fled, searching for someplace
quiet where he could be alone. Yet everywhere he looked, he found people. Out of
desperation he finally climbed the stairs to the balcony that overlooked the room, the same
balcony where Lennox had proposed to Charlotte just three months ago and everything had
changed.

If only he could go back to that night , he thought. Could he change the path of his life so that
this night never occurred?

His hands gripped the railing so tightly that his knuckles were painfully white. He clenched
his eyes tightly shut as he tried to slow the rapid pounding of his heart.
Married. She was engaged to be married.

The possibility had never even entered his mind that such a thing would be possible in the
few months since they’d seen each other. She had never mentioned a potential suitor but then
when would she have done so? He’d hardly given her the opportunity to truly share much of
her life with him. From the looks of the man, he was most likely someone from her village,
probably someone she’d known all her life and that her parents had preferred she marry for
some time.

He caught movement from the corner of his eye and slowly shook his head, willing his niece
to turn and walk back down the stairs. He was not in the mood for their usual repartee.

“Uncle? What is it?” To her credit, she seemed to actually be concerned about his welfare.

“Not now, Augusta,” he begged. “Please.”

“I saw you speaking with Miss Heywood. Did she say something that upset you?”

A bark of laughter escaped him. “Yes, she shared her happy news with me.” He turned to his
niece, his jaw clenched. “Miss Heywood is engaged to be married. You should congratulate
her and Mr. Starling as I have done.” Even to his ears, the words dripped with pain and
bitterness.

“ Married ?” Augusta gasped, clearly surprised by this turn of events. “Uncle…”

The sympathetic look on her face made his stomach churn. Although they had never spoken
of what had happened between himself and Charlotte, he knew she had long suspected that he
harbored feelings for the former governess. “Please leave me alone, Augusta, I beg of you. I
am not fit company for anyone right now.”

“Do you wish to leave?” she offered; her tone unusually compassionate. “I would not mind.”

“No,” he shook his head, although he appreciated the thought. It would not do for him to beat
such a hasty retreat. Charlotte would no doubt discern the reason for his sudden absence and
he did not wish to give her reason to believe he was as unsettled by her news as he was. “I
just need…a few more moments to myself, please.”

She hesitated and then briefly touched his arm before she turned and left the balcony, slipping
quietly down the stairs, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.

She was lost to him now, that was painfully evident. She would return to Willingden and
marry Mr. Starling and he would never see her again. There would be no further
opportunities to make amends and set things right between them once more. There was no
chance now that she could ever love him the way he loved her, if there had ever been one at
all. He had allowed his fear to dictate his behavior and this was the price he must pay.
Tomorrow, he would wake up at Heyrick Park and go about his day as he had the day before.
He would continue managing the estate and spend time with Leo and Augusta. Nothing truly
had changed from this morning. Only the fleeting dream of something he had always doubted
could ever be his to begin with had been lost. Nothing more.
Xander drew a deep breath and straightened his back. He had been resolved in his
determination to move past his feelings for Charlotte once before. This brief moment where
their paths had crossed again need not change that if he did not allow it to. He would renew
his promise to himself to forget her and hope with every fiber of his being that someday he
might actually be successful in what he had no doubt would be the most challenging
endeavor of his life.

*****

Charlotte had convinced herself that he would not even care when he found out she was
engaged, given the way he’d previously treated her but his eyes had told her another story.
There had been surprise, certainly, but she’d also seen disappointment and perhaps even
sadness or pain? Or perhaps she was mistaken given that he’d then dared to mention that he
was merely seeking to ask her to return as his governess. She could not discern if he was
telling the truth or merely lying to cover the awkwardness of the situation and she found
herself feeling even more frustrated and perturbed by him than she had before.

Did he still have such little respect for her that he would presume she would actually accept
his offer to return as the girls’ governess after everything that had happened?

“Mr. Colbourne is not quite the ogre you described,” Ralph observed. “Aren’t you glad I
saved you from the life of a governess?”

“Immeasurably.”

The disparaging comment hurt Charlotte more than Ralph could possibly ever understand.
Her time spent as a governess had been brief but fulfilling. For the first time in her life, she
had felt that she had a purpose beyond her family’s farm. She had relished every moment
spent with Leo, the child’s exuberance and love of learning about nature impossible to not
find endearing. And once Augusta had opened up, the two had developed a true sisterly
relationship that Charlotte still cherished. In truth, she missed both girls immensely. Looking
at Ralph now, she knew that he had not meant to hurt her. But the reality of her future life in
Willingden was becoming ever more clear to her.

The sight of Augusta approaching pulled her back to the present. “Why didn’t you tell me
you were getting married?”

Unbidden, she recalled Augusta’s plea for her to never leave them the last time they’d
attended a ball together. She knew the real reason she’d kept it from Augusta was because she
hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. “I thought I had,” she said sheepishly.

Ralph’s face showed his surprise and disbelief. “It is hardly the sort of thing to slip your
mind.”

“You must join this next dance,” Georgiana interrupted them, saving her from having to
further explain herself. “It is a quadrille.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know the steps,“ Ralph declined.

 “Then you don’t mind if I borrow Charlotte?”

Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief, grateful to her friend for rescuing her, albeit unawares.
The two had not had much chance to speak and she had many questions. “You and the Duke
of Buckinghamshire?”

“I’ll explain later. You and Mr. Colbourne?”

She had kept the story of what had happened between her and Mr. Colbourne to herself thus
far, there seemed little point in sharing it all now. “There’s nothing to tell.”

*****

It had taken all of Xander’s determination to force himself to return to the party and feign a
pleasant attitude he did not feel. The dowager duchess continued to be doggedly persistent in
trying to draw his attention to her daughter and Augusta remained steadfast in forcing him to
dance as a means of keeping him from disappearing to brood once more. It was under such
circumstances that he found himself in a most undesirable situation when they changed
partners in the quadrille and he found himself face to face with Charlotte once more.

“I wish you luck in finding a new governess,” she said as they moved through the steps
together, her voice flat.

“I wish you a happy marriage,” he forced himself to reply, the words very nearly killing him.
He kept his eyes fixed on anything but her face. “I hope he is worthy of you.”

No man would ever truly be worthy of her.

Relieved when they switched partners again, he found himself dancing with Lady Lydia
Montrose. “I understand you keep a fine stable, Mr. Colbourne. I’m a keen equestrian
myself.”

Despite her mother’s obvious fawning in hopes of making a match between them, her
daughter seemed pleasant enough. Before he knew what he was saying, he found himself
uttering the words he’d never expected to hear escape his lips.

“Then you must come riding at Heyrick Park. At your convenience.”

Chapter End Notes

As always, thanks for the comments and kudos. I appreciate everyone's support.
 The Prodigal Son
Chapter Summary

Charlotte is determined to stay in Sanditon for Georgiana's sake (sure, Charlotte) and
Xander makes a momentous decision that will have an unforeseen impact.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The Prodigal Son

Charlotte woke early after a fitful night's sleep the morning after Georgiana’s birthday party.
She was supposed to leave Sanditon with Ralph this morning after breakfast but there was no
way she could leave Georgiana alone after what had occurred at her party the night before.
Ralph and her parents would be disappointed but they would understand that she was doing it
in the service of a friend. There was still plenty of time before her wedding back in
Willingden.

The household was still asleep after the late night and it would be some time until breakfast
was served so she decided that a walk along the cliffs to clear her head was just what she
needed. After quickly penning a note to Mary to let her know where she’d gone, she pulled
on her coat, bonnet and gloves and stepped outside of Trafalgar House. The sky was overcast
but the clouds did not look particularly ominous as she set out down the street towards the
edge of town. The streets were a little less busy than usual given the late night many of
Sanditon’s citizens had enjoyed while attending the party. Still, Charlotte recognized more
than a few faces as she walked and she nodded politely to each in greeting. One figure in
particular brought a smile to her face as they drew closer.

“Mrs. Wheatley,” she clasped her hand in greeting.

“Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley smiled softly in return. “I understand congratulations are in
order.”

Charlotte felt her cheeks flush. She couldn’t help but feel as if she’d let the older woman
down somehow. “I assume he told you then.”

“No, I heard the news from Miss Markham. In truth, I’ve not seen him since before Miss
Lambe’s party,” she replied, a slight furrowing of her brow indicating concern. “He left the
house as soon as there was a hint of daylight this morning, disappearing somewhere on the
estate. Hannibal remains in his stall so he’s on foot, something he doesn’t do often. I don’t
expect I’ll see him for the rest of the day.”
What the older woman left unspoken was clear. He was off brooding over the news of her
engagement. The recollection of the look in his eyes when she’d told him the news stung her
eyes and she blinked rapidly. His reaction had not been that of a man who felt only shame
and regret over the kisses they’d shared.

“He won’t slip back into his old ways will he?” she asked, troubled at the thought he might
once again lock himself away. Her cheeks flushed again. “Forgive me, it’s not my place, I
know. I just…can’t help worrying. For Leo and Augusta’s sake,” she added quickly. Mrs.
Wheatley pursed her lips as though she was considering just how much she should reveal. “I
know your loyalty lies with him, Mrs. Wheatley. You needn’t say anything.”

The older woman’s eyes were full of sympathy. “I don’t usually speak about Mr. Colbourne’s
personal affairs, Miss Heywood but the days after you left were…difficult.”

“I did not wish to leave. He sent me away.”

“I know,” she sighed. “Even with the best of intentions, he sometimes gets in his own way.
He had his reasons at the time, even if he regrets them now. He only meant the best for you,
although he went about things the wrong way. I hope you can someday find it in yourself to
forgive him.”

“I believe I know his reasons, Mrs. Wheatley,” she admitted. “And I am working on forgiving
him.”

“I do wish you all the happiness in the world, Miss Heywood, no matter where your path
takes you.” She squeezed her hands. “And I wish to thank you for all you did for the family.
Regardless of how things ended, you changed him for the better and I see those changes still
on a daily basis. I will always be grateful to you for your influence.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley. I will forever be grateful for the time I spent at Heyrick Park.”

The two said their goodbyes and Charlotte continued walking until she’d reached the cliff
path, her feet moving of their own accord as her mind continued to ponder Mrs. Wheatley’s
words. After they’d parted all those weeks ago, she’d assumed in her anger that he cared so
little for her feelings that he must truly not have any of his own for her. Yet as her initial pain
and anger had dissipated over time and she’d approached his reason for dismissing her from a
more logical point of view, she’d realized that he had let fear overpower his true feelings for
her. It had not lessened the hurt she felt but it had given her some level of understanding.
She’d witnessed the flash of pain in his eyes the night before. She was convinced now that
his claim that he was merely asking if she would return as governess had been an attempt to
save face after being caught by surprise at her news.

Her stomach turned as she suddenly recalled how she’d felt when Sidney had told her that
he’d engaged himself to Eliza Campion. She had felt as if all the air in her lungs had
disappeared and a sharp knife had been stabbed into her heart at the same time. A piece of her
had forever been shattered that day. If Mr. Colbourne did have feelings for her, then she knew
exactly how he’d felt upon learning the news of her engagement because she’d experienced
the exact same thing.
Charlotte stopped at the edge of the cliffs, the wind blowing against her cheeks. Her
unexpected feelings of guilt and sympathy for Mr. Colbourne after all these weeks were
unsettling. He had never expressed any feelings for her beyond shame and regret. Even if he
did, it was too late. She was engaged to marry Ralph. She’d promised her parents. Still, she
told herself that she did not wish him any ill and only hoped that he and the girls could
continue to have a much happier life together.

Just then, she spied a figure sitting on the rocks below the cliffs and the familiar fluttering in
her stomach began. It was unmistakably him, even from so far away. Luna sat at his feet as he
absently scratched her ears and stared out at the water. As if they sensed her presence, man
and dog turned in her direction. Luna gave a joyous bark and raced towards her, her feet
leaving twin rows of tracks in the sand. Charlotte crouched, greeting the dog with affection
before standing, her gaze drawn back to him but her feet frozen in place. She would not go to
him.

He stood and they looked at each other for a long moment, the wind tousling his hair and the
tails on his coat. Slowly, he picked his way through the rocks and back up to the top of the
cliffs still some distance away. Her heart began to pound in anticipation but he stopped at the
top, coming no closer. Raising his hand to his mouth, he blew a shrill whistle, the sound
unexpectedly harsh against the rhythmic rush of the surf. Luna’s ears perked and she turned
and ran back to him, her long legs extending so that it appeared as if she wasn’t even
touching the ground. With a final look at her, he turned and walked away.

*****

The moment Leo sped up as they entered the tearoom and he saw the object of her attention
ahead of them, he regretted his offer to take the girls into town for tea as a treat. His heart
skipped in his chest. He had thought she’d returned to Willingden days ago. After seeing her
on the cliffs, he’d spent the last few days trying to forget Charlotte and now here she was
once more.

“Miss Heywood! You’re still here! Does this mean you’re staying for good?” The words
tumbled out of Leo’s mouth as she grasped Charlotte’s hands.

Xander quickly schooled his features, forcing a smile on his face. “Miss Heywood, Miss
Lambe,” he nodded politely in greeting. “Come now Leo, let’s leave Miss Heywood in
peace.” He met Charlotte’s eye, feigning a casual indifference as he gently directed Leo
towards their table. “Forgive her for interrupting. She wasn’t expecting to see you and clearly
can’t contain her excitement.”

“I’m always happy to see Leo and Augusta,” Charlotte insisted. “There’s no need to
apologize on their behalf.”

He continued to smile, although her obvious omittance stung. “Then I won’t. Good day,
ladies. Enjoy your tea.”

He took a seat at their table and exhaled with relief, thankful his back was to her so he
wouldn’t have to spend the entire visit fighting to keep from looking at her. Still, he was
acutely aware of just how close she was. If he’d thought they would possibly see her again,
he never would have promised Leo he’d take them to tea.

“I shall delay my return to Willingden.“

Xander winced. He could hear everything Charlotte and Miss Lambe were saying. It wasn’t
enough that he could sense her behind him with every fiber of his being, it seemed he
couldn’t avoid hearing her voice whether he wanted to or not.

“But what of Ralph?”

“He’ll understand. How could I possibly leave you before this awful business is resolved? I
refuse to believe there’s not a single lawyer in England brave enough to make your case. You
should draw attention to your cause by composing a letter, detailing the iniquity.”

“To send where?”

“The newspapers, The Chronicle or The Times. We must shine a light on this injustice.”

“I would certainly win if you were my lawyer.”

Charlotte’s fervent desire to see an injustice righted wasn’t surprising given her impassioned
feelings for the education of young women. He hadn’t understood the significance of the
interruption of Miss Lambe’s party at the time, not being familiar with the man who’d clearly
upset her and her friends. But he’d since read about the matter in the newspaper and had
understood immediately the importance of the case being brought against her. He wasn’t
surprised that Tom Parker was finding it difficult to find a lawyer who would take such a case
on. Few would find it advantageous to defend Miss Lambe against a white man in court when
the deck was stacked against her. Only an idealistic lawyer who’d vowed to fight against such
social injustices, forsaking their own reputation and income for defending the greater good
would be so willing.

The sinking feeling of inevitability began to grow inside him. There was absolutely no reason
for him to involve himself in the matter of finding Miss Lambe a lawyer willing to take on
her case. No reason at all, except that it was important to Charlotte and her friends and if he
could help, it was the right thing to do. He glanced across the table at Leo and Augusta,
chatting happily. What if it was their friend who needed help? Or worse, what if they were in
a similar situation themselves? Would he turn his back because he didn’t particularly like
what helping them required of him? His shoulders slumped in resignation, and he swore
silently to himself.

Samuel.

*****

“Mrs. Wheatley,” Xander entered the drawing room still wearing his great coat despite
having returned from town with the girls a quarter of an hour before. “I won’t be here for
dinner this evening. I’ve urgent business to attend to. Please ensure Leonora gets to bed on
time.” He turned abruptly, heading back into the foyer.
Alarmed by the hastiness of his announcement, she hurried after him. He had been quite calm
when he and the girls had left for town but he’d rushed into his study upon their arrival home
with an air of urgency about him that gave her cause for concern. She could not imagine what
could have happened in such a short amount of time. “But why the sudden departure, Sir?
Might I ask where you are going?”

He took his hat from the waiting maid. “London.”

“When will you be back?”

“I hope tomorrow.” He strode quickly out the door to the mounting block where one of the
grooms stood waiting with Hannibal. He must have ordered the horse be readied when he’d
departed the carriage upon their arrival home.

Augusta appeared at her side, a perplexed look on her face as they watched Xander mount up.
“It is most unusual for my uncle to leave without so much as a farewell.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Most unusual.”

Xander rarely traveled to London and then only when absolutely necessary. Aside from the
unavoidable visits to meet with his lawyer or banker, the last trip he’d taken to the city had
been to collect Miss Augusta after he’d assumed her guardianship. So it was quite surprising
indeed that he was so abruptly leaving without making any sort of arrangements in advance.

“Did something happen while you were in town that would cause him to make such an urgent
trip to London so unexpectedly?”

Augusta shook her head. “No, nothing unusual occurred. We did see Miss Lambe and Miss
Heywood at tea but that couldn’t possibly have anything to do with Uncle needing to go to
London, could it?”

*****

“Come Leo, let us take a turn about the grounds,” Augusta set down her book and stood from
the window seat. “We can take in some fresh air.”

“We’ve just come back from town,” Leo pointed out even as she rose from the floor where
her soldiers were spread out right in the way of where people would wish to walk. “Wasn’t
that enough fresh air for you?”

“I am feeling restless,” Augusta admitted. Her uncle’s unexpected departure had piqued her
curiosity and she was having difficulty concentrating.

The two cousins walked towards the stables, Leo begging to visit the kennels that were just
beyond. The sound of horses and carriage wheels caught their attention long before a
barouche appeared up the drive. Augusta frowned. “Oh, it’s that ghastly Lady Montrose and
her equally ghastly daughter.”

She had often teased her uncle during their time in Bath over the numerous women who’d set
their sights on capturing his favor in hopes of receiving a proposal from the wealthy widower
but in truth, Augusta had found the women’s advances towards him distasteful and Lady
Montrose and her daughter were no exception.

“What do they want?”

“To get their claws into your father,” she wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Mrs. Wheatley said
they had arranged to go riding with him but he must have forgotten to cancel before he left.”
She leaned closer to her cousin. “Why don’t we extend them our special welcome?” Leo’s
face split into a grin and, without another word, she ran towards the stables to hide.

Augusta smiled sweetly as the barouche came to a stop. “Can I help you?”

“We are here to see Mr. Colbourne,” the dowager duchess sneered condescendingly. “On a
private matter.”

“He and I are going riding.” Lady Lydia was much more gracious in her response.

Augusta did not trust either of them around her uncle. “Well, it must have slipped his mind,
because he is not here.”

Leo bounded out of the stables, a makeshift sword in her hand. “To my horse! To my horse!”

Lady Montrose shrieked in surprise, clutching her chest. Her eyes flashed in annoyance,
distaste clearly evident on her face. Augusta narrowed her eyes when the women were not
looking her way. It was obvious that the duchess had little liking for children, especially if
they were of no relation to herself.

“Come along mother,” Lady Lydia smiled, “there’s a war to be fought here.”

Lady Montrose had no interest in even feigning an interest in either of them. “And when will
your uncle return?”

“We don’t know. He is often absent. Is he not, Leo?”

“Often,” Leo put on her most pitiful expression. “And he never tells us when he’s coming
back. Or if.”

Augusta stroked her cousin’s hair. “Poor Leonora. To have such a father.”

“Yes, poor child,” Lady Lydia smiled knowingly. “That must be such a trial.”

Lady Montrose rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Come along, Lydia. Don’t encourage them.”
She tapped on the side of the barouche. “Drive on.”

Augusta watched as the carriage rolled away. Her uncle would be absolutely mad if he even
thought of marrying that woman’s daughter.

*****
The hour was late by the time Samuel Colbourne exited Brooks’s and his pockets were just a
little bit lighter. But such was life. He would make the loss back up the following night…or
the next. It hardly mattered. It was all a vicious circle of wins and losses. But the drinks were
plentiful and the company good and much less stodgy in his opinion than that found at
White’s.

“Excellent scotch,” he muttered to no one in particular, “and the card game never ends.” His
attention was caught by a figure approaching, his gait uncannily familiar even in the
darkness. He froze, his eyes widening in surprise as he made out the man’s features. He’d
recognize him anywhere. ”Dear God! Xander ? What are you doing here of all places?”

Xander blinked, his expression giving away nothing. “I came to find you.”

“We must have a drink then,” Samuel offered impetuously. It wasn’t every day that he saw
his long lost brother. “Although I should warn you, I’ve had a considerable head start.”

“There is no time,” Xander insisted.

“Ten long years and you can’t even spare half an hour?” He could hardly believe that even
Xander could be so casually dismissive of the enormity of what it meant that he had sought
him out after all this time.

“I need you to come to Sanditon with me. Now.”

Even if he hadn’t seen that expression in a decade, Samuel knew the look in his brother’s
eyes better than he knew his own face in the mirror. When Xander had his mind set on
something, he would not be deterred at any costs. After ten years, he undoubtedly had
something of great importance weighing on him if he’d bothered to come all the way to
London to find him.

*****

By the time he followed Samuel into Rook House, Xander was already annoyed with his
older brother. Samuel was more than a little inebriated and he’d spent the entire journey to
the Colbourne family town house extolling the fine quality of Brooks’s best scotch. It
reminded Xander all too much of their father, down to the smell of drink and cigars on his
brother’s clothing.

His gaze roved around the hall and parlor as he entered the house. When Samuel had refused
his inheritance after their father died, his only request had been that he’d be able to stay on in
Rook House. Xander had been so angry that he agreed to the request simply to get Samuel to
leave the estate and not come back. He hadn’t returned to the London house since the last
time he’d been here just before their father’s death when he’d arrived to demand Samuel
return with him to their family estate. As he recalled, he’d argued with his brother that night
about doing his duty as well. He should have known then that Samuel had no intention of
taking on the running of Heyrick Park.

Samuel headed straight for the decanter of port sitting on the sideboard. “Drink?” he offered.
He arched a brow at the hard look he received in response. “I’ll take that as a no then,” he
chuckled. “Still sober after all this time, are you? I’m impressed.”

Xander doubted that very much. His brother thought his abstinence an overly dramatic
response to the troubles of their childhoods. In turn, he considered Samuel’s considerable
consumption of alcohol a rather cavalier and dangerous habit given how their father ended
up. He picked up a metal figurine of a horse from the desk in front of the window. He used to
play with it often as a child when they were Town. “I see you haven’t changed anything.”

Samuel shrugged. “I see little reason to. I’ve replaced some of the stodgier paintings of our
forebears that used to give me nightmares as a child, but that’s about it.” He sipped his port.
“And how is my niece, Leonora? Growing into a fine young lady, I assume.”

Xander snorted. If only his brother knew how wrong he was. “Leo’s well. She and her cousin,
Augusta, have grown closer these last few months.”

“Augusta? Phillip and Alice’s child?” Samuel frowned. “Yes, I did hear about them. Very sad.
Don’t tell me you became her guardian when they died? My, you do have a lot on your plate,
don’t you? I’m surprised you haven’t remarried by now. How do you manage all alone?”

Not well enough, apparently , Xander thought. He’d had enough of the niceties. “We’re
wasting time, Samuel. I need you to come with me back to Sanditon. Tonight. There’s a
woman there who needs your help.”

Samuel expelled a huff of laughter as he sat down in a chair. “If I recall, there’s a perfectly
fine lawyer in Sanditon, Brother. Why would you come all this way for me when we haven’t
even spoken in a decade?”

Xander sat down in the chair opposite, leaning forward intently with his elbows on his knees.
“Have you seen the articles in the papers about the Antiguan heiress, Miss Lambe?”

Samuel tipped his head, eying him speculatively. “Of course. She stands to lose her entire
fortune if she loses. It’s too bad really.”

“I need you to take her case.”

Samuel laughed. “You can’t be serious, Xander! I’d be a fool to take that case on!”

“I am serious. No other lawyer will take her case. You know as well as I do that she stands no
chance of winning if she has no representation in court.”

“What is this woman to you? I can’t imagine you’ve changed all that much in the past ten
years that you’ve stepped down off your moral high horse and taken up with an Antiguan
heiress.”

Xander clenched his fists tightly, fighting the urge to punch his brother in the mouth. He
knew Samuel would question his interest in Miss Lambe’s case. After all, there was no
obvious connection between the two of them. If he found out the truth…that he was doing
this simply to make Charlotte happy, gaining nothing in return but heartache…his brother
would never let him hear the end of it.
“That’s not what this is about, Sam. Miss Lambe is in dire need of a lawyer, and I thought
you’d actually have the fortitude to take it on. When you insisted on studying law instead of
returning to Sanditon to help run the estate, you said it was because you thought integrity and
fighting against injustice was important. You said you wanted to help those in need. Now
you’re what, just another lush drinking your life away like our father was?”

Samuel studied him for a long moment. “This is really that important to you?”

“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t, Sam! You think I would ride here after all this time if it
wasn’t that important?” He twisted the ring that should have been his brother’s back and forth
on his finger. He closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself to calm down. He should have
known Samuel would require additional motivation. “I’ll pay all of your costs in full if you
lose.”

Samuel’s brows arched high on his forehead. He tapped his finger on the glass in his hand,
peering over the rim at him with his pale eyes. “I’ll go to Sanditon and meet with her. I can’t
guarantee anything beyond that.”

Xander leaned back in his chair and blew out a long breath, his cheeks puffed out. “Thank
you.” The words tasted bitter in his mouth. He clapped his hands on his knees and stood
abruptly. “We should leave. You can have a man follow with whatever you need. Do you
have a horse? Nevermind, I’m sure we can hire one.”

Samuel stared at him. “You actually mean to leave tonight ? You really have gone mad out
there all alone on that estate. It’s the middle of the night, Xander!”

“There’s no time, Samuel. We leave now.”

*****

Mrs. Wheatley was alerted to Xander’s arrival by Miss Leonora’s excited shouting. Relieved
he’d returned as quickly as he’d hoped, she hurried outside to greet him, trusting that
whatever urgent business he’d left to see about had been quickly resolved. Her eyes widened
with surprise at the sight of the second rider accompanying him.

“Mr. Samuel.” Her eyes darted to Xander, seeking some sort of explanation for the sudden
appearance of the elder Colbourne brother but his face gave away nothing more than a
grudging tolerance.

“Mrs. Wheatley,” Samuel dismounted, a broad smile on his face. “You look exceedingly
well.”

“A few more gray hairs, Mr. Samuel, but that aside, I am well.” She turned to Xander,
lowering her voice. “I’m afraid I haven’t prepared a room.”

“My apologies for the lack of warning. If you could prepare the guest room?”

“Of course,” she nodded. I’ll see to it now.”

 It had been ten years since Samuel Colbourne had graced the halls of Heyrick Park, ten years
since he’d refused his rightful inheritance and walked away. It had been ten years since
Xander had vowed to never speak to his brother again. Something of great importance had to
have happened for him to seek his brother out after all these years, something very important
indeed.

Chapter End Notes

Being my own worst critic, I'm actually pretty pleased with this chapter. I'm so happy to
have Samuel in our story now! Also, Brooks's was a real place and the
spelling/punctuation is correct. You can read more about London gentlemen's clubs here:
http://historicalhussies.blogspot.com/2011/11/gentlemens-clubs-in-regency-
england.html

As always, thanks for the comments and kudos. Your support is much appreciated!
 A Stolen Touch
Chapter Summary

Xander does our girl's bestie a big favor and some scandalous touching goes down at the
concert of the year.

Chapter Notes

My apologies but there's no extra scenes in this one as both of my S3 ideas were in the
last chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A Stolen Touch

It wasn’t until he and Samuel arrived at Trafalgar House that Xander realized he hadn’t
considered that bringing his brother to Miss Lambe meant he would be stepping once again
into the house where he’d lost any hope of reconciling with Charlotte after he’d stupidly
dismissed her. Even worse, when the maid stepped back to allow them inside, he knew from
the sound of voices drifting into the hall, that they were coming from the very room where
he’d stood and listened to Charlotte tell him that she could never have any feelings for a man
who’d treated her with so little respect.

So it was that when he stepped into the doorway with Samuel at his side, he was feeling
exceedingly uncomfortable about the entire situation and more than a little as though he
could be ill at any moment. If it was possible to wish himself elsewhere, he would have
readily done so.

As soon as she saw him in the doorway, Charlotte stood, glancing quickly at Mrs. Parker and
Miss Lambe, clearly surprised by their appearance and at a loss as to what purpose he could
possibly have at Trafalgar House with a stranger in tow. A wrinkle of confusion appeared on
her brow. “Mr. Colbourne?”

“My apologies for this intrusion,” he addressed his words towards Miss Lambe. “But I think
when you know the purpose of our visit, you will understand.”

“Miss Lambe,” Samuel added, “I heartily agree with the sentiments.”

Georgiana looked questioningly between Samuel and himself. “And who might you be?”

“Samuel Colbourne. Your new lawyer.”

Obviously startled by this revelation, Charlotte looked at him sharply, her eyes seeking an
answer to her unspoken questions. But after years of keeping his emotions to himself, he’d
become a master of masking his expression, keeping his emotions to himself. He looked
away quickly, doing his best to keep his eyes anywhere else in the room but on her face. He
could not so much as glance in her direction without being reminded of the tears that had
been in her eyes when she’d stood before him the last time they were together in this room.

“I have not instructed you,” Georgiana reminded Samuel, calling his attention back to the
conversation being held around him.

“Not yet,” Samuel conceded, “but my brother has informed me of the difficulties that you are
having.”

It must be quite surprising indeed for her to have a man she barely knew turn up with a
lawyer he’d fetched on her behalf for no obvious reason. “As soon as I heard of your plight,
Miss Lambe,” he explained quickly, “it struck me there would be no one better.” Oh, how he
hoped that was true, he thought ruefully, realizing he really knew nothing of Samuel’s
abilities in the courtroom. Or he would have made an even larger mess of things than he
already had.

“Are you aware that Lord Cornforth will be hearing Georgiana’s case?” Mrs. Parker asked.
“A man quite outspoken about his views on abolition. He will not be sympathetic.”

“Cornforth has no right to sit in judgment,” Samuel insisted. “The law should be handed out
without fear or favor.”

“I hope this sentiment is a true one, Mr. Colbourne,” Miss Lambe advised. “I’m not a
plaything for your amusement.”

“I can assure you,” Samuel replied, “if I represent you, it will be because I believe you can
and should win.”

Georgiana looked towards Charlotte, silently asking her opinion. She merely raised her
eyebrows, indicating to her friend that she had no reason to not at least give Samuel a chance
given there were no other lawyers willing to accept her case.

“Very well,” Georgiana conceded. “Show me what you can do. Then I will decide.”

“As you wish. Come to Heyrick Park at three and we’ll talk more.” Samuel bowed and
walked towards the front door.

Xander met Charlotte’s eye once more and she tipped her chin in silent recognition of what
he had done. He wondered if she yet realized that he’d done it for her. He would do anything
to make her happy…to show her that he did indeed respect her, even if it meant letting her
walk away. With no further acknowledgement, he made a polite bow and took his leave,
having never spoken a single word directly to her.

*****
During her time as a governess, one of the best parts of Charlotte’s day had been the walk to
Heyrick Park. She’d always found peace on the grounds of the estate and the first glimpse of
the house as it appeared between the trees that lined the long drive had almost always given
her reason to smile. The day she’d been dismissed from her position as governess, she had
assumed it was the last time she’d set foot on the grounds. It was now with some trepidation
that she walked down the drive once more, this time with Georgiana at her side. Her nerves
were not eased by the sight of the two Colbourne brothers standing in front of the house,
awaiting their arrival.

“I hope you’re prepared for what I’m about to ask you, Miss Lambe,” Samuel Colbourne
greeted them.

“It is you who should be prepared, Mr. Colbourne,” Georgiana replied with her usual
confidence.

Mr. Colbourne stepped back, extending his arm, indicating they should enter. His eyes met
hers briefly, as equally aware of the continued strain between them. “Please, come in.”

“Miss Heywood,” Samuel said as they entered the foyer, “I would be grateful if you would
wait here so Miss Lambe and I can become better acquainted.”

“I’ll wait with you,” Mr. Colbourne quickly added, closing the front doors.

They settled into chairs on either side of the fireplace, the fire burning cheerfully between
them. It wasn’t all that long ago that she’d felt comfortable within these walls, welcomed by
him and the girls. The last time she’d walked through those same front doors, she’d been just
as anxious, uncertain as to what was to come as she’d accompanied him here after the ball.
For better or worse, her life had been forever changed by the events of that night.

Unable to sit in silence any longer, he finally spoke. “I thought you were to leave Sanditon
after the party.”

“No,” she replied quickly, “I stayed for Georgiana.”

“And your betrothed?”

“He had to return to Willingden. To his farm.”

“Oh, he’s a farmer? Like me.”

A small huff of laughter escaped her. “Nothing like you.”

She silently berated herself. She’d only meant that Ralph’s farm was more modest than his
own, similar in size to her own family farm, not to cause him any offense. She knew he
worked hard managing his estate which included the home dairy farm, Heyrick Farms. Many
gentlemen farmers did not manage home farms, preferring to merely gather rents from their
tenants. Under other circumstances, she might have tried to explain herself further but any
remnant of what once had been a level of comfort between them had long since gone,
replaced by the awkwardness of trying to fill the silences with forced conversation about
nothing of consequence.

“How was your stay in Bath?” she forced herself to inquire in an attempt to continue their
strained conversation.

“It was pleasant enough,” he replied. “And your return to Willingden?”

“Pleasant enough,” she echoed.

“Only pleasant?”

“More than pleasant,” she corrected herself, her hands nervously fidgeting with her gloves.
She had not meant to imply that her time with her family had been anything less than
enjoyable yet she could not seem to muster more enthusiasm in the moment.

Every word they spoke felt forced, nothing like the way they’d once been able to speak to
each other. She could recall every conversation they’d had and even when they were
frustrated with each other, at least they felt comfortable freely expressing their thoughts to the
other. He had even shared his deepest secret with her only feet away from where they now sat
struggling to fill the silence.

The glove she’d been nervously fiddling with fell to the floor and he practically jumped from
his chair to pick it up. Their eyes met as he knelt next to her, their hands each grasping her
glove. He released her glove and slid back into his chair, the strain she felt apparent in his
expression as well.

“Leo and Augusta talk of you often. I think they miss your presence.”

Her heart stuttered in her chest. Three months ago, as he’d held her in his arms on the dance
floor, he’d spoken to her in much the same way, the words he’d wanted to say hidden in a
half-speak that obscured his true meaning. I miss your presence.

“Do they?” She should not even be hoping for such a thing to be true.

“Profoundly.” He turned his gaze to her, the truth in his response clearly evident in the brown
depths of his eyes.

Charlotte was unprepared for the emotions that single word induced within her. Everything
she thought she’d known to be true was now, in only a few days time, crumbling at her feet.
He was not supposed to miss her. He was not supposed to care that she was engaged to be
married. He was supposed to have moved on as though she had meant nothing to him, as
though she was just another member of his staff. Before she could make sense of the feelings
that stirred raucously inside her, the drawing room door opened. They stood quickly,
whatever was about to be said between them, now lost.

Georgiana appeared in the drawing room doorway, looking quite shaken. “Mr. Colbourne has
been quite judicious in demonstrating the public distress Mr. Lockhart could cause me. I
don’t think I can subject myself to it.”
She squeezed Georgiana’s hand before donning her gloves once more and turning towards
Samuel as Mr. Colbourne followed Georgiana outside.

“This trial will take place in two days time,” Samuel warned, “even if she’s in absentia. But if
she will not defend herself, she has little hope of winning.”

Charlotte wasn’t willing to let Georgiana give up just yet. Her entire future lay in jeopardy if
she did not win her case against Lockhart and in order to do that, she needed Samuel
Colbourne. “Please wait until tomorrow before you leave. I’ll try to persuade her to continue.
Thank you.”

*****

Xander poured his brother a glass of port before taking the seat next to him in front of the fire
in his study. He still found it oddly disconcerting to see Samuel inside the house after all of
these years, even more so knowing that the home was his instead of his older brother’s as had
long been assumed would be the case.

“You’ll be leaving then?” he asked, handing him the glass. “If Miss Lambe refuses your
help?”

“Why?” Samuel inquired. “Sanditon has changed, for the better. I may stay a while to see a
little more of it. If you can bear my company.”

“I’m sure I could tolerate a few more days of it,” he admitted grudgingly.

“We should have a shooting party,” Samuel said impulsively. “Like the old days, bring this
place back to life a bit.”

He gave his brother a sharp look. “You hated those parties.”

Samuel shrugged, dismissing any past reluctance he might have once had. “I was younger
then.”

Xander well remembered the parties his father used to host. The guest list had been a who’s
who of their father’s gambling and drinking companions, old men with outdated opinions
getting drunk and boasting of their shooting prowess, business expertise and money they’d
won. As heir to the estate, Samuel had been forced to walk next to their father once he was
old enough to take part, laughing at their poorly made jokes and learning early on to help
himself to the freely flowing wine while he had done his best to stay out of sight.

Still, it had been many years since such an event had been hosted at Heyrick Park, the last
well before his father had died when he was just entering university. If he was going to
continue in his efforts to return the estate the way it once was and the home it should be for
Leo and Augusta, he must be open to the idea of hosting events as well as attending them.
“Why not? Besides, it might be a good opportunity to introduce Augusta to some suitable
young men.”
“Of your choosing? Should she not be able to meet and choose a suitable young man of her
own?”

“You’re hardly the person to lecture me on duty,” he reminded him.

Samuel laughed. “I will concede you that. For now.” He studied his glass of port. “The young
lady must be very important to you for you to swallow your pride and ask me for help after
all these years.”

“Miss Heywood is a former employee,” Xander swiftly insisted, “nothing more.”

Samuel studied him with an amused look. “I was referring to Miss Lambe.”

*****

As the Sanditon beach began to fill with its well-dressed citizens excited for the evening's
anticipated festivities, Samuel noticed that his younger brother seemed uncharacteristically
distracted, his eyes continuously darting around as though he was anxiously looking for
someone. After the way he’d watched Miss Heywood depart Heyrick Park earlier this
afternoon and his subsequent claim that she was nothing more than a former employee,
Samuel had his suspicions who that person might be. Still, he couldn’t pass up an opportunity
after all these years to pry into Xander’s life just a little.

“Am I boring you, Xander?”

He glanced at him distrustingly. “What gives you that idea?”

“You seem distracted,” he explained, entertained by Xander’s preoccupied behavior. “Are

you expecting someone?”

“You seem unduly concerned with what I’m doing,” he countered, his annoyance with the
line of questioning obvious. “It’s rather unnerving.”

Samuel shrugged, biting back a smile. As the elder brother, he’d always known the easiest
ways to irritate Xander. “Just making up for lost time.”

“Mr. Colbourne.”

Samuel turned to see an older woman accompanied by a younger woman who he assumed
was her daughter or some other relation. Their attire and bearing spoke of their wealth and
given the way the older woman was eyeing his brother, it was evident that they considered
Xander a desirable marriage match.

“Your Grace. Lady Lydia. Allow me to introduce my brother, Mr. Colbourne.”

“Delighted.” Samuel gave a small bow in greeting.

“My mother and I called on you but you were away,” Lady Lydia said as her mother looked
at Xander intently. “Although we received a warm welcome from a tiny soldier.”
“My apologies,” Xander grimaced. “I had urgent business to attend to.”

“Apology accepted. On the firm understanding that we can do it another time.” Lady
Montrose’s expression left little doubt that while he had her forgiveness, she was not about to
forget his oversight so soon.

He returned her smile politely. “Of course.”

Xander’s attention was suddenly drawn further up the promenade. Samuel followed his
brother’s gaze. His earlier suspicions certainly seemed founded based on the way his brother
acted each time he saw the beautiful young woman. “I see Miss Heywood is here,” he
smirked and made his excuses hastily, anxious to get away from the duchess and her
daughter. “Do excuse me.”

Samuel had long ago made a habit of avoiding marriage minded women at all costs. He
hoped his brother was at least wise enough to understand what a mistake it would be to
encourage this particular woman in her pursuit of him. He shuddered at the thought of what it
would mean if he didn’t.

*****

Charlotte had not seen the promenade so full of people since the midsummer fair when
everyone had gathered to see the wonder of Tom’s colossal elephant only to be astounded by
the militia’s hot air balloon instead. Few would be able to pass up a chance to hear the
renowned Miss Greenhorn sing and nearly everyone still thought they would have the
opportunity to see the King, unaware that they would be disappointed when they learned that
his plans had quite suddenly changed.

Georgiana quickly took note of the Duke of Buckinghamshire’s presence. “I must speak to
Lord Montrose. I wish him to know what my plans are.”

Charlotte nodded even as her friend walked away. Finding herself alone she felt her eyes
drawn as if by a magnet towards the beach where Mr. Colbourne stood with his brother
speaking to Lady Montrose and Lady Lydia. Unconsciously, she reached for her left little
finger. Since departing Heyrick Park, her thoughts had been overwhelmed with him, her
emotions confused. Each attempt to turn her mind to other topics only leading her right back
to him. As much as she hated to admit it, she’d finally come to accept that she too had missed
him and far more than she’d realized. He turned his head and their eyes met. She was no
longer surprised that they always seemed to sense when the other was nearby.

Having followed his brother’s gaze, Samuel caught sight of her and left his brother’s side.
“Miss Heywood, how is Miss Lambe?”

“She’s here. Her courage knows no bounds.”

“Have you persuaded her to fight her case?”

“No, but I’m still trying,” she admitted. She’d hoped by now that Georgiana would have
changed her mind. Spying Susan alone, she hastily took her leave. “Would you please excuse
me?”

“Certainly,” he waved her away.

She hastened to Susan’s side, anxious to offer her friend her support after the news that the
King had a new favorite. “Oh, my dear friend, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s what men do, Charlotte,” Susan replied, seemingly resigned to the decision. “They grow
weary. Age comes upon them and there’s always another beauty to make them feel young.”

“Well, he may be the King, but if he were here, I would tell him I think him foolish beyond
measure.”

“I do believe you would,” she managed a weak little laugh. “Oh, my dear Charlotte, you do
lift my spirits.”

“You will find someone that will give you the love and constancy you deserve. And be
happy.” She wished for nothing less for the woman who’d been so kind to her.

“Like you are?”

Charlotte was taken aback by the direct question. “Yes.”

Susan squeezed her hands. “May I offer a few words as someone more experienced in affairs
of the heart?”

Charlotte hesitated, unsure where Susan’s thoughts were leading. “Yes.”

“If Mr. Starling is indeed the man to make you truly happy, you should go to him.”

She was taken aback by her advice. “Georgiana needs me,” she insisted.

“I’m sure that’s true. But you must also be sure that she’s not just an excuse.”

“For what?”

“Not to return to Willingden and the life you’ve resigned yourself to.”

Charlotte allowed herself to absorb Susan’s words into her already confused thoughts. Had
she resigned herself to a life in Willingden as the wife of a farmer? Was she delaying her
return in order to delay the start of a life she had never dreamed of?

Her thoughts were interrupted by Arthur as he took to the stage. She left Susan to take an
empty seat, and unexpectedly found herself next to Mr. Colbourne as he did the same. They
shared an awkward look before looking away hastily, both uncomfortable with the
unexpected arrangement. She cast her eyes in front of her, intent on not looking in his
direction even as her entire body seemed to come alive simply from being next to him. She
was finding that every moment in his company now threatened to overwhelm her.
“Your Graces, Lords, Ladies and good people of Sanditon,” Arthur began tentatively. “I
know many of you have come to see the King, but…”

His speech was interrupted as Miss Greenhorn herself walked onto the stage, waving him
away. “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Parker was kind enough to ask me to sing at this
prestigious recital and I was honored to accept. However, we have just been informed that
your King has been detained at Court on urgent Royal business. I know Mr. Parker is
concerned that I will feel let down. But I want to assure him that I do not. I accept the King’s
humble apology most graciously. To sing is who I am. It is my true calling.

Now, I am ready to perform for you and I am proud to do so. Tonight, I dedicate my
performance of Porgi Amor from The Marriage of Figaro to any ladies here present suffering
a heartache of their own. May you find strength and comfort in my song.”

The elegant sounds of Mozart began to fill the night air, sweeping around them and silencing
the ocean that swelled only feet away.

Porgi, amor,

qualche ristoro

al mio duolo

a'miei sospir!

O mi rendi

il mio tesoro,

o mi lascia almen morir!

Charlotte felt as though the music was winding its way into her, the notes playing to the very
center of her heart. The beautiful sound of Miss Greenhorn’s incomparable voice
reverberated through her, touching her very soul. Never had she heard such music or felt such
emotion!

She could have hardly imagined it was possible to become even more acutely aware of him
sitting so near to her yet the music seemed to pull him closer still. She gripped the side of her
chair, knowing that he was mere inches away, his own hand so close that she could brush his
fingers….

Her heart raced in her chest as it ached for the slightest of touches. She missed the feel of his
hand against her cheek and his fingers curling around her neck, just as she would miss the air
if she could no longer breathe. It felt like an eternity had passed since she’d felt as alive as
she had when he’d held her in his arms, pulling her into him.

When the touch did come, she nearly gasped out loud. Even through her gloves, she could
just feel the warmth of his skin. It was the barest of touches but the most she could ask for.
Tears stung her eyes but she could not tell if they were of happiness or heartbreak, the
difference between the two such an incoherent and infinitesimal thing.
The music seemed to suddenly come to an abrupt end, shattering the already fragile moment.
Charlotte stood, her entire body still humming at his touch, and joined the applause. But in
her heart she knew that they had stolen this single point in time and she would do well to
remember that it could never happen again.

*****

“Did you enjoy the music?”

Susan glanced at the man who now crouched next to her. It was not unusual for men to
approach her although it was a bit unexpected here in Sanditon. Still, she had seen him earlier
in the company of Mr. Colbourne so she would be gracious. “Very much? And you?”

“Very much,” he nodded genially. “Samuel Colbourne. At your disservice.”

Ah, Mr. Colbourne’s brother perhaps?

“Lady Susan de Clemente. I assume you’ve heard the gossip about me and you’ve come to
rub salt into the wounds.” She’d long since grown accustomed to the stares and whispers that
followed her wherever she went but that did not mean she was immune to it.

“I never listen to gossip,” he insisted. “I prefer to fathom out people for myself. It’s much
more rewarding. Besides, there’s so many interesting things going on in Sanditon that require
careful observation.”

She followed his gaze towards Charlotte and took note of Mr. Colbourne standing not all that
far away, his eyes locked on her once more. Yes, careful observation indeed. Her lips curved
into the smallest of smiles, acknowledging that she too was well aware of what was
happening beneath their noses.

“Mr. Colbourne,” Miss Lambe approached, Charlotte a step behind.

He stood. “Miss Lambe.”

“When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow,” Samuel Colbourne replied. “First light.”

“Will you come?” she asked Charlotte.

“Of course,” Charlotte replied.

It seemed her suspicions were founded after all. Charlotte would go with Miss Lambe to
London for the trial, delaying her return to Willingden once more. But there were only so
many times she could postpone her return before it would become obvious to everyone, even
if it was not yet obvious to Charlotte herself, that her heart did not lie in Willingden, but here
in Sanditon with a man who clearly had lost his heart to her as well.
Chapter End Notes

I had to re-write three POVs to finally get this one where it is so it took longer than it
normally would have AND I got distracted by a twitter pizza party (IYKYK). Also, this
chapter really should be titled "Profoundly" but that seemed weird since the entire work
is already named that.

If anyone else thought the recital performance seemed awfully short, it’s because
Mozart’s Aria, "Porgi Amor" from "The Marriage of Figaro", only has four lines so it
was perfect for our show, as were the words themselves. Here’s an English translation:

Grant, love, some relief

to my sorrow, to my sighing

Either give me back my beloved,

or just let me die!
 Stay
Chapter Summary

Xander finally reveals his true feelings.

Chapter Notes

I decided when writing this one that if I split this episode into two chapters as I usually
do, the first part would be rather boring so this chapter encompasses the entire S3 E3
episode and is longer than my usual.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Stay

“So, Uncle Samuel’s profession is to stand up and argue?”

Xander looked away from the newspaper he was reading and glanced at Leo across the
drawing room table. The papers were diligently following the story of the Antiguan heiress
defending her fortune in court. “Essentially, yes.”

“And if he makes a poor job of it,” Leo pressed, “then Miss Lambe will lose her whole
fortune?”

“Regrettably so.” His attention was caught by his niece staring absently out the window.
“Augusta, is there something on your mind? You’re barely present.”

“I am…just concerned for poor Miss Lambe.”

“Here is the guest list for the shooting party, Sir,” Mrs. Wheatley interrupted, handing him
the paper covered in names. “We need to make the final arrangements.”

He sighed as he took the list from the housekeeper. “Must we? I rather wish my brother had
never suggested it.” He had to admit that when he’d impulsively agreed to Samuel’s
suggestion of hosting a party, he hadn’t actually considered the ramifications. He was not
particularly looking forward to being unable to escape from the number of people walking
the grounds if he so desired.

“Nonetheless, Sir, the invitations have been sent out,” Mrs. Wheatley reminded him firmly.
No doubt she would not be willing to entertain any notions he might have of canceling the
event simply because he didn’t want to be around so many people for an entire afternoon.
“So, assuming the trial is over in time, you will soon find yourself in the position of host.”

His eyes grudgingly scanned the list of invitees. “I suppose at least there will be a number of
respectable young men for you to meet, Augusta.”

Augusta forced a smile. “A thrilling prospect indeed.”

“What about Miss Heywood?” Leo asked.

Xander forced an indifference he’d grown accustomed to feigning whenever Charlotte’s

name was mentioned. “I assume she’ll return home after the trial. She has a wedding to
prepare for after all.”

*****

Even to Charlotte’s inexperienced eye, the case for Georgiana to retain her inheritance did not
look promising. The lawyers for Charles Lockhart were determined to paint her father as a
confused old man who had easily been taken advantage of by Sidney and Georgiana in an
attempt to gain Lockhart’s fortune for themselves rather than as the loving father Georgiana
knew her father to be. The unscrupulousness of it all disgusted her in a way she’d never
known before. Her friend’s only hope lay with Samuel Colbourne.

“Well, Mr. Colbourne?” she pressed him. That the man in question seemed, at this very
moment, to be rather anxious himself was not a promising sign. “Have you a thought for how
you’ll argue Georgiana’s case tomorrow?”

“At this precise moment, I have no idea.”

“Is that usual at this point in a trial?”

“I must be honest with you, Miss Heywood. I’ve never argued a case of this nature or
magnitude before,” he admitted.

Concern for the trial’s outcome weighed on her. “You told me you’d never taken on a case
you couldn’t win.”

“That is true. Was,” he corrected. “The fact is for the last ten years, I have only concerned
myself with petty litigation. Good money for easy work,” he conceded, pouring himself
another drink. “I would never have taken this case unless…”

“Unless?” Mary asked.

“My brother paid me an urgent visit,” he confessed. “The first words we have exchanged in
nearly ten years. He urged me to take this case. He was doggedly persistent. He even offered
to pay my costs in full should we lose.”

Caught off guard by Samuel’s revelation, Charlotte's thoughts began to spin. They had not
spoken in ten years? Why would Alexander Colbourne set aside whatever had kept him from
speaking to his own brother and ride all the way to London for Georgiana’s benefit when he
barely knew her? He had nothing to gain from doing such a thing. “I thought you’d taken on
her case out of integrity, a belief in justice.”

“It is Xander you should credit,” Samuel insisted. “Not me.”

“But why should Georgiana’s case be of such concern to him?” Mary asked, her confusion
mirroring Charlotte’s own.

Samuel directed his gaze towards her. “I was hoping Miss Heywood would be able to answer
that.”

Charlotte suddenly felt quite overwhelmed. It couldn’t possibly be that he had done all of this
for her. She refused to believe that could be true. What kind of man would do such a thing?
“The only thing that matters now is the trial. So, you must do whatever it takes,” she urged.
“We cannot let her lose.”

“There may be one last roll of the dice I could try.” A sudden thought seemed to come to him
and he abruptly stood. “I bid you both goodnight.”

*****

Small as their group was, there was a distinctive feeling of celebration amongst those that
gathered together the next evening after the trial had concluded in Georgiana’s favor.
Everyone’s relief was palpable, and Charlotte hoped for her friend’s sake that she would not
let Otis Molyneux’s unexpected reappearance in her life come to naught.

She turned to Samuel Colbourne as Georgiana and Mary bid Otis farewell. “Thank you. For
all you have done.”

He grinned. “As we’ve established, it is Xander you should thank.”

Her curiosity about the brothers’ history got the better of her. “You say you have not spoken
in ten years?”

“When our father died, he left me the estate saddled with debt” Samuel began to explain.
“But the thought of being trapped in the place I’d grown up was too much to bear. I wanted a
chance to pursue my own path.”

Charlotte could easily sympathize, having felt the same way herself. “I can understand that.”

“But alas, my career came at a cost to Xander. He chose to shoulder the familial burden that
should have been mine. I fear it cost him his marriage.”

She wondered how much Samuel really knew about his brother’s failed marriage and exactly
what it had cost him. If he’d known the full extent of what had occurred, would he have
allowed his brother to withdraw into himself the way he had or would he have intervened
despite any falling out they may have had? She hoped for both of their sakes, as well as Leo
and Augusta’s, that they could now mend their relationship. “Now you have a chance to
make your peace.”
“Perhaps so. But if I may, I sense you and Xander have your own history. Your tenure as
governess was short-lived indeed.”

By now, she’d become quite adept at answering any questions about her sudden departure
from his service, even if it still pained her. “Your brother decided I was unsuitable for the
position.”

“Well, I do hope you will join us at our shooting party.”

“I must return home,” she insisted. “I’ve tried the patience of my betrothed long enough.”

“What’s a few more days? Besides, it would give you an opportunity to thank him in person,”
he pointed out, tapping his glass against hers before walking away.

If everything Samuel Colbourne had told her about his brother’s adamant request that he take
on Georgiana’s case was true, then the least she could do is thank him in person. After all, he
had gone out of his way to help her closest friend. Surely her parents and Ralph would
understand if she delayed her return home but just a few more days.

*****

“Well, it seems you didn’t entirely disgrace the family name.” Xander admitted as Samuel
joined them for tea, having just returned from the long trip back from London. He was
grateful that everything in Miss Lambe’s case had worked out in her favor. He somewhat
reluctantly admitted to himself that his brother had more than lived up to his rather lofty
expectations.

“That is a first. I’m glad I didn’t let you down, brother.”

“On the contrary.” They exchanged a look, each silent acknowledging the other.

“I wanted to ask,” a sudden thought seemed to occur to Samuel, “Miss Heywood…”

Xander glanced around the table, suddenly nervous as to where Samuel’s inquiry was
leading. “What about her?”

“In London, I was struck by her self-possession and her intelligence. I wondered why you
hadn’t retained her as a governess.”

He was all too aware of Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley’s eyes on him. “She decided the position
was not for her.” He no longer particularly cared if anyone believed him except for Leo who
was still young enough to accept everything he told her as the truth.

“I’ve invited her to the shooting party,” Samuel advised. “I hope you don’t mind.”

His stomach clenched in anticipation. The moment she’d announced her engagement, every
additional moment he saw her had become both a curse and a gift. “Why would I mind?”

*****
“I’m so relieved the trial is resolved for Georgiana,” Charlotte said as she and Mary walked
through the streets of Old Town on their way once again to visit Mrs. Filkins. She was unduly
pleased that she had the opportunity to visit with young Tess and Dora again. “Although, I
confess, I found a sense of purpose in helping her pursue justice.”

“There’s a purpose to be found in marriage and motherhood, my dear.”

“What if it’s not enough?” Charlotte gave voice to one of her deepest concerns. What if
marrying a farmer from Willingden and living the same life as her mother had before her
didn’t fulfill her need for a sense of purpose in her life? What if she spent the rest of her days
wondering what might have been?

“It’s perfectly normal to have doubts,” Mary assured her. “I was nearly thirty before I married
Tom. I almost ended the engagement three times.”

She could just imagine poor Tom’s reaction to Mary’s hesitancy. “Why?”

“I suppose I was afraid that in becoming Mrs. Tom Parker, I would forget who Mary Harrison
was. That I might lose sight of myself.”

“And you haven’t?”

“Marriage is about compromise, Charlotte. As I’m sure you will learn.”

She knew well enough that her parents had compromised an uncountable number of times
during their twenty-four years of marriage, and she had little doubt that Mary and Tom’s
marriage had been much the same. But she couldn’t help but feel that there were some things
she didn’t want to compromise on. She supposed a large part of her reticence in returning
home to Willingden was because she couldn’t yet accept that becoming a wife and mother
meant that she would have to give up on all of her other dreams by doing so. A part of her
still clung to the hope that she could somehow have it all.

*****

Xander could already see a number of guests gathered in front of the house as he strode into
the hall, Samuel on his heels. He reached for his hat from the waiting footman. “Remind me
why I agreed to this?”

“You are going to enjoy every moment of it,” his brother insisted, “apart from when I bag
twice as many birds as you.”

He fought a smile at Samuel’s outlandish claim. He doubted his brother had so much as held
a gun in the last decade, much less shot one. “A London fop like you? You haven’t a chance.”
They stepped out into the autumn sunshine, surveying the scene before them. “I will admit
though, it gladdens me to see the house brought back to life.”

They had barely set foot outside when they were approached by the Parkers along with Miss
Lambe and Charlotte. “Gentlemen,” Tom Parker greeted them both, “I understand we owe
you both our everlasting gratitude for saving Miss Lambe’s fortune.”
Unaccustomed to such gratitude, he brushed the sentiment aside. “I assure you my
involvement was negligible at best.”

“Miss Heywood!” Leo rushed to Charlotte, tugging on her hand. “You’re here! Will you tell
me everything about the trial?”

Xander watched as his daughter and Charlotte moved aside, her affection was clearly evident
as she focused her attention fully on Leo, answering her stream of questions. It pained him
that Leo would once again lose her company once she returned to her village. He only hoped
that this time, their parting would not be as painful to the child. He could not bear to see her
so upset again.

The line of guests waiting to greet their host continued as Lady Denham approached, her
hand on the arm of an older gentleman Xander did not know. A younger man that he assumed
was her notorious nephew stood behind. As isolated as they had been at Heyrick Park, he’d
still heard tales of the man’s exploits.

“Mr. Colbourne, this is unexpected. I thought you had an aversion to entertaining.” Xander
mustered a smile at the not-so-subtle gibe. “May I introduce Mr. Pryce?”

“How do you do? Mr. Pryce nodded in greeting.

“My brother, Mr. Samuel Colbourne,” Xander made the expected introductions in return.
“My niece, Miss Markham.”

Augusta dipped her chin. “How do you do, Sir?”

“And you know my nephew, Sir Edward Denham,” Lady Denham waved towards the man
behind her.

He eyed the taller man. “By reputation, certainly.”

*****

As the party began to make their way from the house out onto the grounds of the estate,
Samuel paused to pull on his gloves.

“If it isn’t the conquering hero!”

He turned, pleased to find himself in the company of the beguiling Lady Susan de Clemente
once more. “My lady.”

“Are you feeling suitably triumphant?”

“The victory is not mine to claim,” he insisted as they fell into step together.

“I’ve rarely observed humility in a man, let alone a lawyer.”

“In truth, it is a recent acquisition,” he admitted, amused by her sense of humor. He had not
expected as much from such an elegant woman with her poise and grace.
“You wear it well,” she teased. “I believe Miss Heywood was in London for the trial?”

“Yes .” His interest suddenly peaked.

“I understand her tenure as a governess here was rather short lived. I can’t quite ascertain
why.”

“My brother will not be drawn on the subject,” he professed, coming to a stop. He studied her
intently for a moment. Perhaps he had found an ally in setting his brother and Miss Heywood
back on the right path once and for all. “Although I have my own theory.”

“As have I,” she confessed with a quirk of one beautiful brow. “I wonder if they might be one
and the same.”

*****

Having spent the entirety of the carriage ride from London back to Sanditon considering
exactly what she would say to him if given the chance, by the time the shooting party had
meandered its way to the stables, Charlotte was quite anxious to speak with him so the matter
would be done with. Despite what Samuel might believe the reason to be for his brother’s
fortuitous intervention on Georgiana’s behalf and the awkward tension between them, she
was determined to thank him.

She managed to catch his attention as Lady Montrose paused to accept a glass of wine from a
waiting footman, having been by his side since she and her children had arrived, no doubt
continuing her campaign to arrange a desirable match for her daughter. Seeing her standing
there, he left her side. “Excuse me one moment.”

“Mr. Colbourne.”

“Miss Heywood,” he greeted her politely. “I thought you would have returned to Willingden
by now.”

“I wanted a chance to thank you,” she explained.

“You have nothing to thank me for.” His gaze roved around them as they walked.

She was hardly surprised by his modest denial. He wouldn’t be the man she knew if he had
said otherwise. Still, she found it slightly amusing that he believed she would accept his
response. “You rode to London and sought out a brother you hadn’t seen in ten years.”

A sheepish look flitted across his face. It was obvious that he had hoped that no one would
discover just how meaningful his choice to act had been. That he had been willing to break a
ten-year silence with his brother just to find Georgiana a lawyer willing to take her case
spoke volumes to those who understood what it must have cost him.

“I couldn’t have stood by and done nothing,” he met her eye. “What kind of man would I
be?”
“You did my friend a great kindness,” she replied, trying her best to convey her gratitude to
him. “I’ll forever be grateful.”

She saw it then, in that moment where there was suddenly no one else but the two of them
and his eyes were locked on hers. Her breath caught inside her, unable to escape. More than
some self-imposed moral obligation to help if he had the power and wherewithal to do so,
he’d done it for her. He’d gone out of his way because he felt it was the right thing to do and
it would make her happy. And he’d done it with no expectations of anything in return. But
there was more there in the warm brown depths of his eyes, a look she’d never seen before
but recognized all the same. It was a look of a longing she knew all too well and the ache of
knowing that whatever might have been between them had been lost.

“Xander!” His head turned as the sound of Samuel calling his name interrupted anything
further that might have been said. “Come! The beaters stand ready!”

“Excuse me,” he said, taking his leave as his obligations as host demanded his attention.

She watched him stride purposefully away as the air in her lungs finally released with a sigh.

*****

Despite her mother’s adamant proclamation that she must form a match with the wealthy
widower, Mr. Alexander Colbourne, Lady Lydia Montrose was not convinced by any means
that a proposal of marriage should be considered a forgone conclusion. In fact, she’d
witnessed on more than one occasion the reason she was beginning to strongly doubt her
mother’s prediction that Mr. Colbourne was quite smitten with her and was sure to make her
an offer at any moment.

Considering herself to be a naturally observant woman, Lydia had noted at Miss Lambe’s
birthday party the way his eyes had been drawn to Miss Heywood and the odd tension
between them, so she’d been pleasantly surprised when he’d suddenly invited her to come
riding at his estate after she’d mentioned how much she enjoyed the activity. She did not hold
the same level of belief that the invitation implied more than the simple ride that her mother
did, but she had still looked forward to the outing, for if nothing else, she would enjoy the
opportunity to ride again. Her mother had been irritated beyond measure when they’d arrived
at his estate only to be told by his niece and daughter that the man himself was not present
and they had no idea of when he was expected to return.

When they’d seen him again at the recital, he’d apologized for his neglect in appropriately
notifying them of his urgent business and promised to arrange another date for them to go
riding. But his attention had once again been caught by the arrival on the promenade of Miss
Heywood and the two had sat next to one another during Miss Greenhorn’s performance.
And again, this morning, they had appeared in close conference as the shooting party had
walked across the grounds, pausing to stop and converse, their eyes locked upon one another.
Despite Lady Denham’s assurances that Miss Heywood was nothing more than Mr.
Colbourne’s former governess and was herself engaged to be married, she still couldn’t help
but be suspicious that there was more to the history between the two than employer and
governess.
Thus, she decided that she should determine whether his fascination with Miss Heywood was
reciprocated or if it was solely one-sided. It was one thing if Mr. Colbourne’s affections for
his former employee were not returned, but it was quite another if the two were in love with
each other. If anyone knew what it was like to be separated by circumstance from someone
they loved, it was her.

Lydia found Miss Heywood with Lady de Clemente after the men had all disappeared to
begin the shooting. “Miss Heywood? Might I ask your opinion?” Lady de Clemente excused
herself, leaving them alone.

Miss Heywood nodded. “Yes.”

“I understand you were governess here.”

“Yes, briefly.”

“My mother is determined that Mr. Colbourne and I would be well matched. And yet, if I”m
honest, he seems to me rather humorless and stern.”

“Mr. Colbourne is by nature reserved,” admitted. “Yet there is a good deal more to him than
first appears. If you can engage him on the subject of dogs or horses, you might see him
come to life.”

Lydia found Miss Heywood’s assessment telling indeed. They were not the words of a
governess who’d had little reason during such a brief stint as his employee to interact much
with the father of her charge other than to discuss his child’s behavior or progress with her
education. No, they were the well-formed observations of a woman who held a man in high
esteem and knew much more about him than any governess rightly should after only a few
months. But even more telling was the fleeting look she saw in Miss Heywood’s eyes when
she’d mentioned a possible match between herself and Mr. Colbourne. It had been the look of
a woman who could not bear the thought of the man she loved marrying another…a feeling
that she knew all too well.

“Thank you, Miss Heywood. Perhaps I have more in common with our host than I’d
thought.”

*****

Charlotte made her way through the trees, having at least temporarily escaped her friends to
reflect on her own thoughts.

Although she’d known from the moment Lady Montrose had requested an introduction at
Georgiana’s birthday party that she had hopes something would develop between her
daughter and Mr. Colbourne, it had been quite another thing to hear from Lady Lydia’s own
lips that her mother was determined for the two of them to be married. Of course, she knew
she had no right to feel anything about whatever preferences he might have considering her
own status as an engaged woman but she still found the very idea of him marrying Lady
Lydia…or anyone for that matter…difficult to swallow.
Ducking under the low hanging branches of an aged oak, she sought the solitude the leaves
offered by concealing her presence from the other guests and found herself unexpectedly in
the company of their host. He stood with his shoulder leaning against the tree, hat in hand,
gazing through a break in the branches out across the meadow. The autumn breeze carried
with it the smell of gunpowder, a poor replacement for the usual scents of flowers, trees and
the sea.

He was silent for a moment, yet she had no doubt he’d long ago heard her approaching.
“Miss Heywood,” he finally acknowledged her companionship, although his gaze did not
divert from the view before them.

“Mr. Colbourne,” she replied, knowing without a doubt that he was there for the same reason
she was. “I presume you needed a few moments away from the crowd?”

The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. “You know me too well. While I’ve
become more accustomed to Society gatherings recently, I would still much prefer the peace
and quiet of the grounds on any other day.”

“It’s rather convenient that you know all of the best hiding places then, is it not?” She was
rewarded with a brief smile, gone all too quickly. “I was surprised to hear you were hosting a
party at all.”

“My brother’s idea.”

“Yet you agreed to it,” she pointed out.

He rubbed a hand across his jaw, finally looking at her. “For Augusta’s sake more than
anything.”

“Heyrick Park should be used for the purpose it was built,” she suggested gently. “Home to a
family, hosting the parties and celebrations of the various stages of life.”

A shadow crossed his face as he seemed to recollect something she did not share. “This
house has always been full of pain and sorrow and anger.”

“But it has also been filled with laughter and music and love,” she countered. It upset her to
see him slipping back into his old way of thinking. “I thought you were doing well in chasing
away the dark memories.”

He looked once more off into the distance. “There was a time where I thought they might go
away for good,” he admitted. “But in the end, it was but a few fleeting hours.” He paused,
drawing in a slow breath. “The dark memories may fade, Miss Heywood, but sometimes the
happy memories are just as painful, reminding me of all that I have lost.”

Charlotte closed her eyes briefly. There was no need for him to explain further. Every word
he uttered spoke plainly to her of his regret even if he could not appropriately give voice to
his feelings, for propriety’s sake or his own inability to form the words he wished to say.
He nudged a stone on the ground with his boot. “Perhaps I should just raze it all to the ground
and rid myself of the ghosts once and for all.”

She looked at him sharply, trying to read the expression on his face. “Why would you say
that? You wouldn’t really consider leaving Heyrick Park?”

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t.”

It was unfathomable to her that he would actually consider leaving his estate and Sanditon
behind. Heyrick Park was his home, the only place she knew he truly felt comfortable. She
could not imagine him being happy anywhere else. “Where would you go?”

He shrugged. “Somewhere far away, I suppose. Where I won’t see memories everywhere I
look. Perhaps someday when Augusta has married, Leo and I will take a grand adventure.
She can be the captain and I her first mate.” He gave her a forced smile as he shifted his
weight off the tree, placing his hat back on his head as he moved to rejoin the party. “Do not
concern yourself with my melancholic musings, Miss Heywood. I have many regrets in my
life but I’m trying my best not to dwell on them as much anymore. I’m certain that once I’ve
run away on Hannibal for a few hours, all will be well once again.”

He took a few steps before turning back to her. “After all, isn’t running away what I do best?”

*****

As the party began making its way into the house, Augusta caught Charlotte’s attention.
“Miss Heywood, may I ask you a question. When did you know you were in love with Mr.
Starling?”

Startled by the question, she hesitated. She did not wish to lie to Augusta about the depth of
her feelings for Ralph. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason in particular,” Augusta quickly brushed her inquiry aside.

The sight of Lady Lydia crouched down to play with some of the dogs used to retrieve the
downed birds during the shooting interrupted further conversation. Mr. Colbourne walked
towards her. “They seem to have mistaken you for a pheasant.”

“I knew it was a mistake to wear feathers to a shoot,” she laughed in agreement.

He smiled pleasantly. “Should we go in?”

“At least she likes dogs,” Leo mused, her voice full of disappointment as she watched her
father escort Lady Lydia into the house. “That is something.”

Brushing aside the ache her own heart felt at such a display, Charlotte ushered the girls into
the house, catching a tell-tale look from Mrs. Wheatley and the girls as Mr. Colbourne and
Lady Lydia entered the drawing room ahead of them. It seemed there was very little
enthusiasm among the residents of Heyrick Park for the master of the estate’s seemingly
burgeoning relationship.
After removing her coat and bonnet, she entered the drawing room, making her way over to
Mary. Her gaze continued to study him from across the room as he appeared to easily
converse with a number of guests freely. The ease with which he held himself belied the man
she’s seen such a short time before and she marveled that he had so easily been able to set
aside the angst he’d been feeling to at least give the appearance of cheerfulness even if he did
so under false pretenses.

The room grew suddenly more subdued as Georgiana appeared in the doorway and all eyes
turned to her. Sensing her friend’s discomfort with the unforeseen attention, Charlotte turned
to Mary. “I”ll go to Georgiana.” She took her friend’s arm and leaned closer. “I think I’m
ready to leave.”

“As am I,” Georgiana agreed.

Her eyes found him once more as they turned to leave. A shared look of silent desperation
passed between them as they both realized it might be the last time they saw one another.

*****

Susan watched as Alexander Colbourne entered the house with Lady Lydia Montrose by his
side. One glance across the way told her all she needed to know as she watched a fleeting
look of sadness pass across Charlotte’s face. The young woman hid it well but her love for
the man was plainly seen by anyone who was paying enough attention.

She turned to Samuel Colbourne. “We cannot let this travesty occur.”

“What is to be done?” he asked earnestly. “Miss Heywood is to be married in a few short

weeks.”

“Yes,” she conceded. “But she is not married yet.”

He smiled conspiratorially as they walked together. “Might I ask why you take such an
interest in Miss Heywood?”

“I recognize my younger self in her. And since I have no inclination to marry again, there is a
vicarious pleasure to be had in setting her on the right path.”

“I could say much the same,” Samuel agreed, handing her a glass of wine retrieved from a
waiting footman. “I am far too old and cynical to consider marriage for myself. But I have
greatly wronged my brother in the past, so if there’s anything I can do to make amends, I
will.”

“It is not that I wish to interfere…”

“Oh, Likewise, of course,” he agreed. “But a little gentle encouragement…”

Susan smiled as she tapped her glass against his. It seemed she had made just the ally she
needed if she was to see Charlotte achieve the happiness she deserved.

*****
Xander couldn’t recall a time where he’d been less inclined to be in a room full of people. As
host, he’d been forced to feign a cheerfulness he did not feel after watching Charlotte silently
leave. The last look they’d exchanged had done little to provide him any sort of finality or
acceptance that he would never see her again.

His gamekeeper approached, murmuring quietly to him. He nodded and suppressed a groan
as yet another expectation of him as host was thrust upon him. He drew a deep breath and
raised his voice so he could be heard above the various conversations being held at once.
“My lords, ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting, but my gamekeeper informs
me that the gun of the day, with thirteen birds, is…Sir Edward Denham.”

Those gathered in the room applauded politely as Sir Edward came forward. He extended his
hand in congratulations. “Well done.”

“Mr. Colbourne, Sir, there is something I must ask you,” Sir Edward said before Xander
could turn back to continue the conversation he’d been having prior to the announcement.
“I’m all too aware of my reputation, but I beg you to believe that I am a changed man. And as
such, that you will allow me the honor of calling on your niece, Miss Markham.”

Startled by the unexpected request, Xander looked past the man’s shoulder at his niece, her
face pleading with him silently for his approval. He mentally kicked himself for having been
so distracted by everything else that had been going on that he’d been blind to the goings on
in his own home. What in God’s name had Augusta been up to behind his back?

A flash of anger surged through him as he met Edward Denham’s eye. “You are the last
person on earth I would allow to court Augusta.”

*****

Between his inexperience in hosting a large gathering at the estate, the surprising revelation
that Augusta had been entertaining notions of being courted by Edward Denham and hours
spent in desperately close proximity to Charlotte, Xander’s patience and willingness to be in
the company of others had long been exhausted by the time the last guests bid him farewell
and disappeared down the long drive back to Sanditon.

He’d entered the house with a pointed look to Mrs. Wheatley that conveyed to her his desire
to be left alone for a time and retired to his study. Standing before the fire, his thoughts
inevitably turned to the day's encounters with Charlotte. He’d known from the moment he’d
set eyes on her that morning that she was set to return to Willingden for her wedding and that
in all likelihood, today would be the last time he ever saw her. Yet he still hadn’t been
prepared when it became obvious she was leaving. When their eyes had met across the
drawing room, it had taken all of his fortitude to not go to her and beg her to stay, no matter
how inappropriate it would be. He knew that instead; he must finally accept that she was
soon to be gone from Sanditon forever.

“A good day,” Samuel’s never-ending cheerfulness grated on Xander’s ears as he walked into
the study seeking yet another glass of port. “Even if you did shoot more birds than me. I
forgive you.”
“Very gracious of you.” He silently chastised himself for not closing the study door and
briefly wondered how disappointed Mrs. Wheatley would be if he booted his brother out on
his ear. Surely his standing as her favorite of the two and as her employer carried some
weight with her.

“No wonder you’re grappling with your conscience, brother,” Samuel continued, seemingly
oblivious to his desire to be left alone. “She is quite magnificent.”

Despite himself, he turned and glanced behind him. “Who is?”

Samuel grinned and sat on the edge of his desk, annoyingly amused by his question. “I’m a
lawyer, Xander. I know when people are withholding the truth from me, and on occasion,
from themselves. And I am in no doubt that you are hopelessly in love with Miss Heywood.”

Xander swore silently to himself. The last thing he needed to hear was his older brother’s
opinion on his feelings for Charlotte. If Samuel knew even half of what had happened
between them, he’d never hear the end of it. It was bad enough he’d already been pressing
him to explain why she was no longer employed as a governess.

Samuel walked towards the door, refusing to let the matter drop simply because he hadn’t
acknowledged his comment. “And I can state with some confidence, she shares your
feelings.”

He looked at his brother, disbelief and hope suddenly springing to life inside him. He quickly
swept the feelings aside. “She is to be married.”

Samuel gave him a pointed look. “She is not married yet.”

Xander’s eyes were drawn back to the fire as the sound of Samuel’s footsteps faded down the
hall. He pondered his brother’s last words, clearly meant to encourage him to tell Charlotte of
his feelings for her and force her to choose between himself and Mr. Starling. But it would be
completely improper and ungentlemanly of him to go after a woman he knew to be engaged
and encourage her to throw her betrothed aside in his favor. She had already made her choice
when she’d accepted Mr. Starling’s proposal in the first place.

His thoughts came to an abrupt halt. Or had she?

Was it truly her choice? Had she been pressured into marriage by her parents? Was she only
marrying Mr. Starling because she felt she had no other option left to her?

After all, he had never told her the truth of his feelings for her. Instead, he’d been a cowardly
fool and sent her away convincing himself it was for her own good. Given a second chance,
he never would have let her leave but instead he would have proposed to her on the spot,
having long ago realized he was in love with her. He’d quickly realized his mistake, but
Charlotte had no way of knowing the truth unless he told her.

Would she have married him if he’d told he loved her and asked her to marry him over the
summer? Was he not doing Charlotte a disservice by not revealing to her that she did indeed
have another option available to her if she so chose?
He recalled the touch they’d shared at the recital only days ago, her hand seeking his as much
as he had sought hers. And he could not possibly be mistaken by what he saw each time he
looked into her eyes, their gazes inevitably drawn to each other whenever the other was near.
He could not be convinced that she did not feel something for him. Could he dare hope that
she might be convinced to stay in Sanditon if only he confessed his love for her?

Xander knew he had made many mistakes in his life. He had allowed an unscrupulous man to
prey upon his deepest fear and insecurities. He had lied to the woman he loved beyond
measure, all but driving her into an engagement with another man. He had told his entire
family that she had chosen to leave when in all actuality, he had given her no choice. He had
taken away the closest thing to a mother his daughter had ever known and the only person his
still grieving niece had to confide in. And worst of all, he had run away from everything he’d
done, refusing to take responsibility for his own actions.

He could no longer live with himself if he did not finally own up to the greatest mistake he’d
ever made. He could run no further.

*****

Charlotte sought refuge on the cliffs after the party, the book of poetry Ralph had bought for
her in her hands. She’d hoped the breeze from the sea would clear her head after the events of
the day, but her thoughts only jumped incessantly from Ralph Starling to Alexander
Colbourne. If she was being honest to herself, she’d thought little of Ralph and their
imminent nuptials since he’d left Sanditon and returned to his farm. Yet her thoughts had
repeatedly been overwhelmed by Mr. Colbourne.

Xander, she allowed herself to think of him for the first time.

His older brother still referred to him by the pet name he’d been given as a child and thinking
of him as such caused a warm feeling to grow inside her, rolling across her skin like a gentle
wave. It seemed so much more appropriate for the man she knew him to be rather than the
austere and reclusive man he once had been.

Inexplicably, she turned her head and there he was, as though she’d somehow dreamed him
into existence in that moment. He walked towards her, his great coat billowing behind him
and the wind tousling his hair. So intent was the look on his face, it was undeniable that he
could have only been coming for her, his stride purposeful and without hesitation until he
came to stand before her.

“Miss Heywood. I was on my way to find you.”

Her pulse began to race. “Why?”

“Because I cannot let you leave Sanditon again without telling you in plainest terms how
devoutly I admire you. Every day of my life not spent in your company is a day wasted.”
Tears filled her eyes as he stepped closer. Close enough that he could put his arms around her
if he wanted to. “And I’ve tried in vain to deny it, but I am in love with you, Miss Heywood.”

Her heart leapt. He loved her.

 It happened before either of them could quite discern who began leaning towards the other
first. She rose up on her toes as he dipped his knees to meet her. When their lips met, it
hardly mattered to either of them, so desperate was their need to feel the other against them
once more. His hands slid around her ribs, pulling her closer as the book she held fell to the
grass and she clutched at his arms, his chest. The need between them engulfed her like a
sudden squall out on the sea below, making her head spin with exhilaration.

Guilt slammed into her like a raging wave, sucking the air from her lungs. She pulled her
arms between them, pushing him away. “No,” she gasped, her tears flowing freely now. What
were they doing? “We shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have said that!”

“My only regret is that I didn’t say it sooner.”

“Then why didn’t you?” she demanded, her frustration and anger spilling over. “I am to be
married! ”

If only he had said those same words all those months ago, the words she had longed to hear
more than any others from the instant they’d first kissed. In a single moment he had caused
them both such anguish and he’d done so despite being in love with her? He had broken her
heart and now he professed his love?

He shook his head, a stricken look on his face as her words slammed into him. “Stay ,” he
insisted, pleading with her. “Make a life with me.”

The look in his eyes was overwhelming, full of regret, pain and love. Her heart ached so
much she could barely breathe. She nearly gave in to him, her weight shifting forward to take
a step closer, accepting his proposal, such as it was. But she stopped herself a moment before
she wouldn’t have been able to turn back from him, even though it very nearly killed her to
do so.

“I made a promise,” she said, a painful reminder to herself as much as to him. He shook his
head again, refusing to accept her words. “To Ralph. To my parents. It’s too late.”

Chapter End Notes

Thanks for the continued support! I hope people enjoy the extra scene even though it's
not very cheerful. Coming up with extra scenes is sure a lot harder when they have no
excuse to be alone together but I'm trying! Also, my apologies that I couldn't fit in any
mention of the pizza stand. I just couldn't make it work. (IYKYK)

(Also, AO3...why do you sometimes insert spaces around italics?! It's super annoying!)
 Find a Way
Chapter Summary

Our star-crossed lovers attend the world's most awkward tea and absolutely no one is
excited to see Ralph again.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Find a Way

Xander glanced up from saddling Hannibal, surprised to see his brother walking towards him
so early in the morning. “Can I persuade you to saddle up and join me?”

“God no,” Samuel hastily dismissed the idea. “Thank you. It’s far too early in the day for
such exertions.”

“Had you not planned to return to London after the shooting party? Yet five days have passed
and here you are.” While he grudgingly admitted that having his brother reintroduced into his
life had not been the near disaster he’d dreaded it might be, he was not quite sure he was
ready to see him on a daily basis for the foreseeable future just yet.

“I don’t wish to outstay my welcome, brother, but I am not ready to leave just yet. I’m
enjoying getting to know Leo and Augusta.”

He gave Samuel a knowing look. “And Lady de Clemente?”

“This might be the first friendship I’ve ever had with a woman,” Samuel admitted, sounding
somewhat surprised at himself. “And since neither of us have the least bit of romantic interest
in each other, it’s refreshingly uncomplicated.”

“Perhaps you are growing up.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Samuel scoffed at the idea. “Did I mention Miss Lambe is hosting a
party to celebrate her success in court? We’re both invited.”

“Do we know who else will be in attendance?”

“I assume Miss Heywood will be there, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Xander focused his attention on checking each buckle carefully, a task he could do in his
sleep. He was unwilling to discuss what had happened on the cliffs the day of the shooting
party, the memory still too raw. His last hope of convincing Charlotte to stay had faded that
day. He must stop focusing his attention on her and think once more of Leo and Augusta.

“I know your last conversation with her didn’t go the way you’d hoped,” Samuel continued.

The memory of Charlotte standing before on the cliff's edge, her hair blowing in the wind and
tears streaming down her face would forever be seared into his memory.

Why didn’t you?

The challenge was thrust at him again, both a stinging retribution of his decision to walk
away from her instead of telling her how he really felt and an agonizing revelation that had he
only formed the words, she would have stayed. She would have said yes. Because, although
she had not spoken the words out loud, she’d loved him in kind.

He had truly lost her. She had made her decision. He must move on.

“I must look to the future, Samuel. To which end, I’ve invited Lady Lydia and her mother to
tea.”

It had been a drastic step but one he’d forced himself to take in a moment of frustration. He
could no longer allow his life to be at a stand still, dictated by his self-recrimination and
regrets. If he could not have a life with Charlotte, he must learn to make a life with someone
he at least shared some common interests with. Affection would grow over time, he told
himself. Once his heart had healed.

“And what of Miss Heywood?” Samuel challenged disapprovingly. “Do you intend to
pretend she just doesn’t exist? Suppress your feelings?”

Xander gathered Hannibal’s reins and began walking the horse away from the stables. “I
believe that’s the motto on our family crest.”

*****

Xander returned from his morning ride feeling as unsettled as he had when he’d ridden out.
He’d been unable to calm the thoughts and emotions that churned inside him. Hannibal had
sensed his agitation, making the animal stubbornly difficult to control and the ride far less of
an escape from the responsibilities of his life than it usually was. Annoyed that his morning
ride had not gone as planned, he blamed his brother for putting thoughts of Charlotte back
into his head.

Walking into the drawing room, he found Augusta staring out of the window, a flower in her
hand that peaked his suspicions. Already in a poor mood, a surge of anger rose with rapidity.
“What’s that?”

She turned, a defiant look in her eye. “Just a flower.”

“We don’t grow orchids in our greenhouse,” he pointed out, knowing that she was fully
aware of that fact. “But I assume Lady Denham does?”
“It is possible,” she admitted unapologetically, the tension between them rising.

“I made it perfectly clear Sir Edward is not to call on you. But true to form, he’s resorted to
evasion and deceit.”

Her eyes hardened. “You left him no choice.”

His jaw clenched at her defiance, any patience he might still have had now gone. “Tell me
you have not been alone with him.”

“Why is that any of your concern?” she demanded, brushing past him. “I am not your
daughter.”

“You’ll have no further contact with that man!” No longer able to contain it, his temper
spilled over. “From now on, you are never to leave the house without a chaperone,” he
shouted after her as she stormed from the room.

*****

Since their return from the trial in London, Charlotte had grown more and more concerned
for Georgiana and the company she was keeping with Lord Montrose’s friends from Bath.
Each day seemed to bring yet another gathering, the champagne flowing freely and her friend
seeming less and less herself. It had become impossible to miss the disapproving glances of
Sanditon’s residents as they walked past the raucous crowd drawing attention to their
increasingly outlandish behavior on the beach.

“They are not afraid to draw attention to themselves,” she commented as shrieks of laughter
surrounded them.

“It is only a bit of fun, Charlotte,” Georgiana defended Lord Montrose’s friends. “You need
more champagne.”

Charlotte sighed, trying to hide her disappointment. She did not wish to upset Georgiana but
was finding it difficult to see her friend foundering so far from who she knew her to be.
Before she could raise her concerns, they were approached by Lady Montrose and Lady
Lydia.

“Miss Heywood. I trust you are well?”

“Very well, thank you, Lady Lydia.”

“We are much looking forward to your party, Miss Lambe.” Lady Montrose greeted
Georgiana. “Can I assume the brothers Colbourne will be there?”

“I have invited them both,” Georgiana confirmed.

“Oh!” Lady Montrose could barely conceal her delight.

“I must thank you for your advice, Miss Heywood,” Lady Lydia added. “Once I kept the
conversation to dogs and horses, I found Mr. Colbourne to be pleasing company indeed.”
Charlotte struggled to force a pleasant expression, uncomfortable with the topic at hand. She
had little wish to discuss Mr. Colbourne with Lady Lydia or her mother of all people. “I’m
glad.”

“And the feeling was plainly mutual, since we’ve received an invitation to Heyrick Park
tomorrow,” Lady Montrose announced, clearly beside herself with the latest development.
“Apparently no one has caught his eye since the death of his wife. Not until now, that is.”

The news that Xander had invited Lady Lydia to Heyrick Park threatened to overwhelm her.
Had he really moved on so soon after declaring his love for her or was he merely trying to
forget he ever loved her at all? Could she blame him for doing something she herself had
done?

“Mother,” Lady Lydia cautioned, attempting to rein in her mother’s undeniable elation.

“You cannot blame me for being excited,” Lady Montrose protested gleefully. “There is every
chance I may soon see both my children settled.”

*****

It was not until later, when they were back in Georgiana’s apartment, that Charlotte was able
to address her concerns about Lord Montrose’s companions. Their fawning over Georgiana
seemed less about her as a person and more about her fortune. As they settled on the settee,
she drew a breath, hoping that she could finally convince Georgiana to listen.

“I fear they are not true friends.”

“They know how to enjoy themselves,” Georgiana countered. “Whereas you seem to have
forgotten.

Charlotte had to admit that she had thought her friend too preoccupied with her own concerns
to have noticed how embattled she’d been with her own feelings. Between the trial and her
search for her mother, she had been hesitant to draw Georgiana into her own conflict.

“It is Mr. Colbourne, isn’t it?” Georgiana pressed. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Something had always held her back from admitting to her best friend that there had long
been more between herself and her former employer. At first, she’d justified the secret
because she was his governess and any relationship between them would have been cause for
gossip and raised unwelcome questions. She’d been too upset after he’d left Trafalgar House
that day to explain the full story behind her dismissal, feeling foolish that she’d let him kiss
her twice and then cast her aside with so little consideration. And since her engagement to
Ralph, she’d told herself the feelings would pass and it was best to keep everything that had
happened between them to herself.

Now, she felt as if she would burst if she didn't tell someone the truth, as overcome with guilt
as she was since they’d met on the cliffs. “After the shooting party, he found me out on a
walk. He told me he was in love with me. And to my eternal shame, we…we kissed.”
Georgiana grasped her hand. “You need feel no shame.”

“I am to be married, Georgiana,” she protested.

“But, if you share his feelings…”

“I’ve made a commitment to Ralph. To my family. I cannot break it,” she insisted. She could
not bring herself to admit her true feelings, even to Georgiana. “You were right. I have been
putting off my return to Willingden. How can I face Ralph? How can I tell him?”

Weeks of guilt gnawed at her insides. Time and again she’d made an excuse not to return to
Willingden, knowing that going back home meant that her life outside of the small village
was over. The moment she walked down the aisle to Ralph, she would be bound to
Willingden as she never had been before. She would be a farmer’s wife and soon enough a
mother. And the wife of a farmer and mother to a farmer’s children would have little
opportunity to travel to Sanditon, tied as she would be to the farm and her family. She felt as
though invisible bindings were even then tightening around her, constricting and suffocating
her.

The uneasy feeling was still with her as she left Georgiana’s apartment, walking the lane back
to Trafalgar House. Distracted by her thoughts, she did not see the tall man standing outside
the door until she was nearly at the steps.

“Ralph?”

“Charlotte,” he seemed relieved to see her. “I read that Miss Lambe’s trial is happily
concluded so I’ve come to bring you home.”

*****

The following morning found Charlotte sitting in the drawing room of Trafalgar House with
Ralph, listening to the news from home. It was apparent that Ralph was anxious to return
home as soon as possible. After all, he had a farm to care for and, content as he was in their
village, another trip to Sanditon had not been something he’d relished.

“Your father’s been quite lost with neither you or Alison there for the harvest. But there’s
much excitement about our wedding. Your mother started decorating the church.”

“I’d meant to come home sooner, but I was concerned for Georgiana,” she explained. It had
been far easier to make her excuses by mail than in person.

“But now you are ready to return?”

“There’s a party tonight. To celebrate her victory. I’d like to be there. For her.” Ralph’s
disappointment was unmistakable. She sensed that his patience with her repeated delays in
returning to Willingden was wearing thin. “One more night, Ralph. Then we’ll leave, I
promise.”

“If that is what you want.”

Charlotte hastily changed the topic, doing her best to engage Ralph on topics he was
comfortable with, keeping the conversation focused on their families and the goings on in the
village. She felt guilty that he had been so tolerant of her many postponements. She would
not have been surprised if he had suspicions that she was intentionally putting off her return
because she was having second thoughts about marrying him.

Their conversation was interrupted by Mary just back from another visit to see Mrs. Filkins
and the children. She seemed quite anxious over the conditions the family was living in and
the recent spate of sickness in Old Town and agitated over the lack of interest on the part of
Lady Denham to help remedy the situation.

“This fever is merciless,” she said as she paced the room. Poor little Dora Filkins is gravely
ill. I’ve asked Dr. Fuchs to do what he can, but there’s no doubt their living conditions have
played a part.”

Charlotte looked over the carefully documents in her hand. Mary’s work was very impressive
indeed. “That’s why this proposal could not be more timely or more vital.”

“Do you think so?”

“My only thought…” she stopped herself, suddenly self-conscious that her idea would come
across as far-fetched.

“Go on my dear,” Mary encouraged her to continue.

“Young Tess has such a hunger to learn. It made me think, might there also be merit in
building a school?”

“What a wonderful idea.”

Mary’s enthusiasm for the idea was catching. “We could offer an education to all the local
children, boys and girls.”

“We, Charlotte?” Ralph questioned. “God willing, you’ll be busy teaching our own children.”

She felt as though a bubble had burst inside her, her excitement at the thought of a school
fading quickly away. “Of course.”

“I’ve arranged to call on Mr. Colbourne this afternoon to discuss my plans,” Mary explained.
“I don’t suppose…would you accompany me, Charlotte? You could tell him about your
school idea.”

The prospect of seeing Mr. Colbourne again after their last encounter was unsettling. “It
would hardly be fair to leave Ralph on his own.”

“Ralph could come with us! I’m sure Mr. Colbourne wouldn’t mind.”

“I would love to see Heyrick Park,” Ralph readily agreed. “And to make a proper
acquaintance of your former employer.”
“Honestly, Mary, your proposal speaks for itself,” she insisted, her anxiety rising at the very
prospect of seeing Mr. Colbourne again. “You have no need of our company.”

“I would be glad of it all the same,” Mary maintained, putting an end to her protests. “For
moral support.”

“Then it’s decided,” Ralph stood decisively. “We shall all pay a visit to Mr. Colbourne this
afternoon.”

*****

“You keep a fine house here, Mr. Colbourne,” Lady Montrose said enthusiastically before
hastily changing her tone to one of conciliatory sympathy. “Although as a widow myself, I
imagine it must get rather lonely.”

“Well, I’m hardly alone, your Grace,” he insisted, unwilling to have himself painted as a man
struggling with loneliness simply because he was unmarried. “I have Augusta, Leonora and
as you’ve seen, a stable full of horses.”

“As long as I had horses and a pianoforte,” Lady Lydia asserted, “I believe I could renounce
human company for months on end.”

He smiled politely. “I’m inclined to agree.”

Lady Montrose’s eyes lit up. “You’re clearly of a like mind.”

Leo ran up to the table, her excitement at sharing whatever news she’d discovered barely
contained. “A carriage has just arrived with Mrs. Parker and Miss Heywood in it! And a
man!”

Xander stilled. He had forgotten that Mrs. Parker had asked to stop by to discuss her plans for
the Old Town. She must have asked Charlotte to join her. He could not imagine that she
would have come of her own accord after their last encounter. He pushed himself up from his
chair, noting the disapproving look on Lady Montrose’s face at the unexpected interruption.
“Would you excuse me?”

He followed Augusta and an exuberant Leo into the house, finding himself standing face to
face with Charlotte and Mr. Starling.

Leo ran into Charlotte’s arms. “Miss Heywood!”

His pulse quickened at the sight of her even as he took note of the apologetic look on her face
that told him she would not have come to his home with her betrothed in tow if given the
choice. Despite everything that had occurred on the cliffs only days ago and the
uncomfortable position they now found themselves in, he still couldn’t feel anything but love
for her.

“Mr. Colbourne, thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” Mary Parker said. “I hope you
don’t mind but I took the liberty of asking Miss Heywood to join us.”
“Not at all.”

“And I believe you’ve met Mr. Starling?”

“Mr. Colbourne.”

Xander forced his attention from Charlotte, suddenly aware of how it must look that he could
not take his eyes from her when her betrothed stood right next to her. “A pleasure to see you
again, Sir.” The lie tasted bitter in his mouth.

Leo eyed the man up and down, looking skeptical. “You’re the man who’s marrying Miss
Heywood?”

“I am indeed that lucky fellow.”

“Ralph,” Charlotte hastily moved to introduce them. “Miss Leonora Colbourne and you’ve
met Miss Markham.”

Sensing that he was momentarily incapable of saying anything remotely articulate, Augusta
ended the awkward silence, stepping in as hostess. “Will you join us for tea? We have Lady
Montrose and Lady Lydia with us.”

“There’s cake!” Leo offered the treat as an enticement for her former governess to stay, even
if it meant Mr. Starling must also be included.

Mrs. Parker seemed taken aback to learn they had arrived when he had other guests. “Oh, if
this is not a convenient time…”

“Not at all,” Xander stepped back, holding out his arm to indicate they should join them. “I
insist.”
He could think of little else that would make enduring tea with the Montrose’s even less
tolerable than it already was and yet here he was, inviting Charlotte and her fiancé to join
them. He mentally kicked himself as Augusta led their new guests outside. The look on Mr.
Starling’s face as he passed by him left little doubt that he was all too aware of the attention
he’d been paying to his soon-to-be bride.

*****

“I apologize again for interrupting, your Grace.” Mary said as the maid set down a plate of
cakes on the table.

“But I hear you came with a proposal?” Lady Montrose inquired. “I am intrigued.”

“We are to discuss a scheme for the Old Town,” Mary explained. “One which seeks to
improve the conditions for those who live there.”

“A proposal that I fully support,” Mr. Colbourne agreed emphatically.

“And Miss Heywood has also suggested founding a school for the local children.”
“An admirable idea,” Mr. Colbourne looked at her with approval. The pride in his voice
soothed the disappointment she’d felt when Ralph had so easily brushed aside her interest in
the education of Sanditon’s children.

“Of course it is no surprise to find you so preoccupied with education, Miss Heywood, since
you were governess here, were you not?” Lady Montrose seemed to take an undue amount of
delight in reminding everyone of her former position at Heyrick Park.

“Briefly.”

Although the duchess’ words seemed innocent enough, her intentions were painfully evident
to Charlotte. How could a man of Mr. Colbourne’s wealth and status be even the slightest bit
tempted by a mere governess from a tiny farming village when he could have the daughter of
a duke? She’d never felt so belittled in her life, as though she required a reminder of her
status in Society.

“But then she suddenly left,” Leo voiced the displeasure she still felt over her unexpected
departure. “And when she returned, she was engaged to Mr. Starling.”

“Then I must apologize for stealing her from you, Miss Colbourne,” Ralph quipped.

Her eyes met Mr. Colbourne’s, the tension growing more palpable by the minute as each
reminder that she was to be married stabbed painfully at them both. She was not insensitive
to the torment he must be feeling as he was forced to sit next to her along with her betrothed
at his own table only days after he’d declared his love for her.

“When are you to be married, Miss Heywood?” Lady Montrose grasped happily at the
reminder of her impending nuptials, proving she was yet to be deterred from her campaign to
point out how inappropriate she viewed Xander’s apparent rapport with her to be. Little did
she know how close they had become.

“A little over two weeks.”

“My congratulations to you both,” Lady Lydia offered, her sentiment seemingly sincere.

“Thank you,” Ralph said, pleased at the warm wishes from a lady of such standing. “We are
living for the day, aren’t we Charlotte?”

She forced herself to smile, her discomfort with the conversation and his proximity growing
as each moment passed.

“I have high hopes that my son and Miss Lambe will not be far behind you,” Lady Montrose
admitted with pleasure. She directed her attention back to their silent host. “And you must be
keen for Miss Markham to find a husband, Mr. Colbourne? You don’t want to wait until she
is Lydia’s age.”

He blinked, turning his attention to Augusta warily. “Indeed. As long as we can find someone
who is worthy.”
“Worthy in your eyes at least, Uncle,” Augusta proclaimed, the topic clearly a sore point
between the two. “Since what I think and feel are clearly of no consequence.”

The table grew suddenly quiet at Augusta’s impertinence. Xander’s jaw clenched and he
cleared his throat with a pointed look at his niece, reminding Augusta of her manners. She
swiftly shifted Leo off of her lap where she’d been sitting. “Excuse me. I think I shall take a
turn about the grounds.” She hurriedly departed the table.

Charlotte stood, hoping she could quell the argument that was brewing between Xander and
Augusta before it began and thankful for an excuse to remove herself from the discussion.
“I’ll join her.”

Augusta’s long legs carried her quickly down the sloping ground towards the old tree. She’d
already reached the swing that hung from its branches by the time Charlotte caught up to her.
“Augusta.”

“I am sorry,” the young woman said. “I didn’t mean to lose my temper in front of guests. It’s
just that he refuses to listen to what I want, disregarding my feelings as if they mean nothing!
I am not a child!”

“Your feelings are important,” Charlotte attempted to sooth Augusta’s heightened emotions.
“It’s clear that you’ve developed feelings for someone. Can you tell me about him?”

“We’ve been exchanging letters. And we’ve managed to meet a handful of times. But now
my uncle has me barred from leaving the house. I am kept under lock and key.”

“I struggle to believe he would have done so without good reason.” Mr. Colbourne was no
longer the man he was six months ago, caught up in his own guilt. From what she had seen
and heard since her return, he’d made a point of being a better father and uncle to the girls,
prioritizing their happiness. She knew he took his responsibilities as Augusta’s guardian
seriously, as evidenced by his escorting her to balls and parties despite his own preference to
avoid such gatherings. But Augusta was in no mood to attempt to view her uncle’s side of the
situation.

“Why should he determine who I can and cannot love? Were my parents alive, they would
only want to see me happy.”

“Could you tell me who this gentleman is?” Charlotte asked gently, hoping to glean further
insight that might be helpful.

“He is from a good family,” Augusta insisted. “He has a poetic soul. He is kinder than anyone
knows. And yet, my uncle still does not consider him good enough.”

“I’m sure he’s just trying to secure your future.”

“A miserable future. Trapped in an unhappy marriage, instead of being with the man I have
fallen in love with.”
The words struck a heart-wrenching chord inside her. She could not abide the idea that
Augusta would be sentenced with such a fate. She may have made the decision to bear such a
burden herself, but she would not wish the same for Augusta or anyone else. She grasped
Augusta’s hand in hers. “If you and he are truly meant to be together, you will find a way.”

*****

After some minutes of listening to Lady Montrose effuse on about his admirable strength in
raising two girls without a wife, Xander excused himself from the table, citing the need to
check on Augusta and ignoring the slight narrowing of Mr. Starling’s eyes. He could no
longer listen to the duchess lauding virtues he did not possess when the woman who deserved
all of the praise was presently mollifying his niece.

He headed towards the swing and the site of that picnic all those months ago where he’d
handed Charlotte a posy of cornflowers and lost his heart. She took note of his approach and,
with a final few words to Augusta, began to walk towards him.

“She regrets her behavior but I suggest you give her some time alone. You may speak calmly
and respectfully later.”

For a fleeting moment, it was as if she’d never left and everything was back the way it had
been, her giving him advice and him taking it gratefully. He nodded in agreement, accepting
her instruction that he must control his temper just as he would Mrs. Wheatley’s own
admonishments when she disagreed with something he’d done.

They began to walk back to the table. “I apologize for Lady Montrose’s comments about your
role here as governess.”

“You do not need to apologize on her behalf,” Charlotte insisted. “They were her words, not
yours.”

He stopped, Charlotte turning back towards him when she realized he was no longer walking
next to her. “You were never just a governess, Miss Heywood.”

She turned her head away, blinking rapidly. “I know.”

She resumed walking up the slope and he lengthened his stride to catch up. “I meant what I
said about the school,” he offered. “It is an admirable idea and one I’m not surprised came
from you.”

“Thank you,” she allowed herself a brief smile. “I hope for the children’s sake it comes to
fruition.”

“Perhaps you can visit when it opens,” he suggested half-heartedly. They both knew it would
never happen.

When she looked up at him, his heart clenched at the sadness he saw in her eyes. “Perhaps.”

He stopped again, watching as she continued on alone. Leo ran to her, catching her hand to
share some story and she smiled down at her, running a loving hand over her hair. It was a
moment that he would remember forever, a moment that could have been so much more if
only things had turned out the way they should have. She would miss them all as much as he
would miss her.

His daughter bounced over to him and a sudden thought entered his head. “Leo, I’d like you
to do something for me.”

*****

Charlotte was exceedingly grateful that readying themselves for Georgiana’s party that
evening gave them all an excuse to depart Heyrick Park soon after she returned to the table.
Watching Lady Montrose continue to extoll her daughter’s character and accomplishments to
Mr. Colbourne in the hopes of enticing him into proposing had become too much to bear. He
was perfectly polite but his eyes continued to find hers whenever she glanced in his direction.

The party made its way to the waiting carriages, exchanging the usual pleasantries. He held
out his hand to Lady Montrose and then Lady Lydia, helping them into their barouche. She
wondered how many more times he’d go through that same motion after she was gone.

“Miss Heywood,” Leo ran up to her as Ralph helped Mary into the Parker’s carriage.

She crouched down and pulled the child into her arms. “Oh, Leo, it was so nice to see you
again. I shall miss you.”

Leo held a book up to her. “Papa said to give you this,” she whispered. “To tell you that you
must have left it here but that he knew you’d want to take it home with you.”

Confused, she took the book and read the title. Her eyes quickly found him as he stood
openly watching her, his face expressionless and eyes dark and unreadable. She fought the
tears that threatened even as she knew she would cherish the gift forever, a reminder of that
day they’d all spent together under the tree with the swing. Standing, she allowed Ralph to
hand her into the waiting carriage, hardly aware of what she was doing.

“What is that?” Ralph asked as the carriage lurched forward. “A book?”

“Yes, it seems I left it here by accident over the summer.” Charlotte ran a finger down the
well-worn spine and looked out the window as the carriage rolled down the tree-lined drive.
“It’s the story of Chiron the centaur.”

*****

After an uncomfortable afternoon, Xander had little desire to attend yet another gathering
where he’d be forced to interact with so many. Unfortunately, the invitation had already been
accepted on his behalf by Samuel and he had little choice but to attend.

He had yet to speak in depth to Augusta and was trying not to let her obvious preference for
Samuel’s company grate on his already frayed nerves. It was inevitable that they must have a
discussion at some point regarding their difference of opinions about appropriate suitors and
he could not help but wish that he could beg Charlotte to be present for that conversation. Her
calming influence would have benefitted both he and Augusta.

“Mr. Colbourne,” Mr. Starling greeted him as he approached with Charlotte on his arm. “I
was just saying to Charlotte how ill we fit amongst such company. I shall be glad to return to
the calm of Willingden tomorrow.”

It struck Xander as odd that this man, whom he presumed had known Charlotte for years,
possibly his entire life, seemed so unaware of the woman he knew her to be. Charlotte had
never seemed ill at ease in anyone’s company, except perhaps his own and that was entirely
of his making. She had always impressed him with her effortless way of conversing with
everyone she came in contact with, regardless of their social standing. She was as much a
friend to Miss Lambe as she was to Mrs. Wheatley and as much at home trawling a pond for
snails as she was attending a ball with a duke and duchess.

His gaze settled on Charlotte. “Is that a view you share, Miss Heywood?”

“Of course,” she claimed, diverting her eyes from his. She seemed embarrassed by the
conversation but unwilling to disagree with her betrothed, something she had never shied
away from with him. She’d always felt free to disagree with his opinions, voicing her own
quite vocally in counterpoint. This hesitant Charlotte, that acquiesced to everything Mr.
Starling said, seemed very different to the spirited woman he had come to love so deeply.

“Mr. Colbourne, we simply adored our trip to Heyrick Park,” Lady Montrose gushed as she
and Lady Lydia approached.

“It was a pleasure to have your company, your Grace.”

Augusta turned to Samuel, eager to escape the duchess and her daughter after spending an
entire afternoon in their company. “Uncle, shall we take a turn about the party?”

Samuel nodded and the two of them departed, leaving him alone with Charlotte, Mr. Starling,
Lady Montrose and Lady Lydia. He inwardly cringed at his luck.

“Lydia has talked of little else than your magnificent stables. Mr. Colbourne, on our next
visit…”

His attention wavered, Lady Montrose’s voice fading away. His eyes moved once again to the
only person in the room that truly mattered.

*****

Augusta drew Charlotte’s attention, seeking a private word with her. “Earlier you said that if
this gentleman and I are truly meant to be together, that we will find a way. What if there is a
way, but I find myself nervous of what it might mean?”

Her mind went back to their earlier conversation during the tea at Heyrick Park. She found it
difficult to believe that Mr. Colbourne would keep Augusta away from the man she loved for
no good reason. Yet she could not bear to think of the young woman whom she’d come to
care so much for being placed into a similar situation as her own. She did not wish her to
have the same regrets that she herself was now battling to hold at bay.

“If you have a chance to be with him,” she encouraged, “then seize it. Or you will spend the
rest of your life trying to forget what could have been.”

Augusta squeezed her hands in gratitude. “Thank you.”

Charlotte watched her disappear into the crowded room, brushing aside the tiny, nagging
voice in her head that told her she should have pressed Augusta once more for the name of
her suitor. She reminded herself again that Augusta was an intelligent young woman, not
someone prone to making foolish and impulsive decisions.

“Charlotte?” Ralph appeared before her. “Would you care to dance?”

“Of course,” she forced a smile and took his hand. Instead of feeling happy for her friend’s
success in winning her court case, all Charlotte could feel was the impending loss of her
closest friends weighing on her.

“Mr. Colbourne seems perfectly amenable,” Ralph said as they circled the floor, drawing her
attention back to the party. “Yet in his presence you seem ill at ease. Withdrawn. It was the
same at tea today.”

It had become more and more difficult for her to maintain control of her expressions and
emotions when in Mr. Colbourne’s presence since his declaration of love on the clifftop. It
was little wonder Ralph, who had known her his entire life, had taken note of how
uncomfortable she’d felt. Still, she could not admit such a thing to him. “I don’t know what
you mean.”

She was relieved when the dance dictated a change of partners, giving her a momentary
reprieve from Ralph’s questioning but her feeling of relief was short-lived when she realized
she would now be partnered with the one man she was trying to avoid at all costs.

Mr. Colbourne too seemed somewhat stiff and uncomfortable in her company. “I noticed you
and Augusta in urgent conference,” he noted.

“I won’t betray her confidence,” she said quickly, her prior conversation with Augusta still
playing in her head. She had no doubt he would disagree with her advice to his niece despite
their own history.

“She is blessed to have the benefit of your counsel. She will miss it.”

She reluctantly met his eye. He was speaking once more in half-speak, unable to say what he
truly wished to convey to her. He would miss her counsel. It pained her to hear the words
coming from his lips, reminding her again of the promise she had made that was growing
increasingly harder not to regret.

The dance came to an end and once more she wondered if this was truly to be the end.
Tomorrow, she and Ralph would leave and it was unlikely that she would ever travel back to
Sanditon again. She would not see Mary’s plans for the Old Town come to fruition or a new
school for the boys and girls of the community open its doors. She wouldn’t see the Parker
children and Leo grow up or witness Augusta get married. And she would never see
Alexander Colbourne again.

*****

“Might we declare a truce?” Xander proposed to his niece as they joined the party making its
way outdoors for the fireworks Miss Lambe had arranged to celebrate her victory.

Augusta fell into step next to him. “I know you have only ever done what you thought was
best for me, Uncle. There are some things we will never agree on but I am ready to put that
all behind me.”

Relief washed over him. He did not wish to continue the battle of wills with her any longer
and she’d seemed unwilling to concede that he was doing his best to protect her. It had never
been his desire to keep her locked up like a prisoner. “I’m glad.”

“I think I will find Uncle Samuel,” she said a moment before he lost sight of her.

*****

Samuel found himself gazing more at the beautiful face of Lady Susan de Clemente than the
explosions of light high over their heads. She really was quite lovely and he found the
thought of her leaving Sanditon more and more disheartening with each passing moment. He
had to admit that he’d grown really quite fond of her and did not yet want to lose her
companionship.

“Are you yet persuaded that there might be reasons to stay in Sanditon besides Miss
Heywood?”

Her eyes remained fixed on the sky, a small smile on her perfect lips. “One or two, perhaps.”

Samuel grinned. It seemed he was making headway in his campaign to keep her by his side
after all. He was just allowing himself to enjoy the sight of the fireworks when Reverend
Hankins and his sister appeared before him.

“Mr. Colbourne,” the reverend seemed quite out of breath. “Where is your brother?”

Samuel frowned. He could think of no reason that the clergyman would be seeking out
Xander of all people. “Is there a problem?”

“I fear so,” the reverend said hastily. “We’ve just seen Miss Markham running off with Sir
Edward Denham. I worry about Miss Markham getting involved in anything Sir Edward may
have convinced her to take part in. His reputation is…less than honest.”

Samuel immediately cast his eyes around them, searching desperately for his brother. He was
aware that Xander had confined Augusta to the house unless accompanied by a chaperone but
he hadn’t inquired as to the exact reason…or the exact man to be more accurate, leaving what
was an obvious tension between the two of them to his brother’s discretion. Susan pointed
down the street and he hurried over to Xander.

“Brother, Reverend Hankins has just seen Augusta running off with Edward Denham.” Even
in the darkness, Samuel could see his brother’s face pale.

Xander muttered a curse that thankfully was not heard by the reverend or his sister. “I warned
her against that man but she refused to listen. He can only mean to force her to elope with
him.” He looked around at the crowd of people. “Where is Miss Heywood? I saw her
speaking with Augusta earlier. Perhaps she has some idea where he has taken her. She must
help us find her.”

*****

Charlotte hurried to catch Georgiana alone while the other party guests moved outdoors to
the promenade, eager to see the fireworks display. Her friend’s sudden announcement that she
was to marry the Duke of Buckinghamshire had her greatly troubled for her future.

“I cannot leave without begging you to reconsider,” Charlotte pleaded. “How can you marry
a man you barely know, let alone love?”

“This is not about love,” Georgiana insisted. “It is about securing my fortune, my position. I
will be a duchess.”

“But what of your happiness?”

“What about yours? Who are you to question me? You are condemning yourself to a loveless
marriage, when you are in love with Mr. Colbourne.”

They both turned, interrupted by the sudden creak of the front door. Charlotte felt suddenly ill
as she saw Ralph standing in the doorway. Had he heard what Georgiana had just said?

“I am sorry to interrupt,” he apologized, his countenance giving nothing away. “I was afraid
you might miss the fireworks.”

With a final look of defiance, Georgiana swept past them, leaving her alone with Ralph. Guilt
and dread churned inside of her as she found herself suddenly being forced into an
uncomfortable conversation with Ralph that, after weeks of confusion and frustration, she
was still not prepared to have.

“Charlotte,” he said in a firm voice she’d rarely ever heard, “I think we should leave and
return to Willingden at once.”

“It’s late, Ralph. We cannot leave now.”

“At first light then,” he pressed. “All I want is to remove you from this place.”

“Why?” she asked with apprehension.

 “Because it is no good for you. You’re not yourself here. Every time you visit, you return in a
state of abject misery.”

For a moment, he reminded her so much of her father with his suspicions and warnings about
Sanditon and the people she would find here when she’d first been invited to visit by Tom
and Mary two summers ago. To her, Sanditon had become like a second home, the people
she’d met had become some of her closest friends, some she even considered to be family.
That Ralph carried any sort of disdain for the town or mistrust in her friends surprised and
saddened her. That he thought her a different person in Sanditon, when she felt as though she
could finally be her true self within the community, caused her a sense of trepidation she’d
never known before.

“It’s not Sanditon,” she asserted.

“Then what is it?” Ralph demanded. “What are you afraid to tell me, Charlotte?”

The door burst open before she could say another word, Mr. Colbourne rushing into the foyer,
his brother at his heels, concern etched upon their faces. Ralph frowned at the poor timing,
annoyed at the interruption that only seemed to prove his point.

“Please tell me you know where they’ve gone,” The words spilled from Mr. Colbourne’s
mouth in a rush.

Charlotte frowned in confusion. “Who?”

“We believe Augusta has eloped with Sir Edward Denham,” Samuel Colbourne hastily
explained.

Her stomach plummeted. “Edward Denham?”

Of all of the men that Augusta could have fallen for, why did it have to be him?

She was absolutely certain that Augusta did not know the full truth of Edward’s devious
schemes and the pain he had caused with no regard for those he’d hurt. He may well have
sold himself to the young woman as a man misunderstood and well on his way to
reformation, but Charlotte knew, as well as her uncle did, that Augusta’s inheritance was
incentive enough for the likes of Edward Denham to use whatever means possible to get her
to agree to run away with him.

“You’re the only one she will listen to, Miss Heywood,” Mr. Colbourne insisted, a hint of
panic in his voice. “Say you will help me find her.”

Chapter End Notes

It's been increasingly difficult to force extra scenes into scenarios where they had no
reason to be thrown together. Thankfully, the next chapter comes with built in alone
time.

In case you don't recall, the book that appears in this chapter makes its first appearance
in chapter 7.

It's been a pleasure to read your comments. Thank you so much!

 Falmouth
Chapter Summary

Xander and Charlotte take a road trip, gaining some much-needed alone time. Two
surprising people step up to the plate in moments of unexpected integrity.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Falmouth

It didn’t take Charlotte long to change out of her ball gown and into a dress suitable for
traveling. She packed a small bag with a few things and pulled on her coat, bonnet and
gloves. Her mind was racing over the news that Augusta had run off with Edward Denham.
She would have never imagined that he would stoop to seducing Augusta of all people. He
must have somehow discovered that she had a rather sizable inheritance and had counted on
her youth and naivete to convince her to elope.

“Miss Markham is far from alone,” Ralph protested as she hurried back down the stairs. “She
has her uncle, his brother. Our parents are expecting us.” His tone was growing more and
more insistent.

“What’s one more day when Augusta’s future is at stake?” she argued. It was as much her
fault as anyone’s that Augusta had run off. “This is the last thing I will ask. Then I’ll come
back to you. I promise.”

*****

Samuel rode as hard as could, struggling to keep pace with his brother. Xander and Hannibal
knew the lay of the land far better than he ever had, the darkness of little hindrance after so
many hours spent riding the same path. It had been years since he’d had any reason to ride
across the countryside in the middle of night at such speed. If memory served, the last such
excursion had been made when he was around Augusta’s age and had been necessitated by a
very angry father.

“Good evening, gentleman,” Mrs. Wheatley greeted them as they rushed through the front
doors of Heyrick Park. Xander brushed past her into the drawing room but the room was
dark. “I hope you had a pleasant…,” her words cut off as she realized one of their party was
missing. “Where is Miss Markham?”

Xander hurried back into the foyer. “We hoped she might have returned before us.”
“Even just to collect her belongings?” Samuel asked Mrs. Wheatley hopefully. The
housekeeper stood speechless, her eyes darting back and forth between them.

Xander looked past them, his gaze drawn to the stairs. “Leo? Why are you still awake at this
hour?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said from her place on the steps, her voice wavering. “Why is Augusta
not with you?”

“Leo,” Samuel prompted gently, “is there anything you wish to tell us?” She looked back and
forth between them, her eyes wide. “Leonora?”

“I promised.”

He knelt down in front of her. “Please, Leo. You won’t be punished. Come now,” he
encouraged her with a gentle smile and touch to her cheek. “You would not keep a secret
from me.”

“This afternoon, I helped her meet with him,” she admitted. “I’m sorry. I just wanted Augusta
to be happy again.”

“Go on,” Xander encouraged. Samuel was impressed by the level of calm his brother was
managing to maintain given how much he and Augusta had been clashing of late.

“She said she wanted to escape. She talked of a place called Falmouth.”

He exchanged a knowing glance with Xander before giving Leo’s arm a quick squeeze. He
did not envy his brother this night. “Well done, Leo.”

Xander was already striding back towards the front doors. “Let us hope to God we find her
before she is ruined.”

*****

Xander chafed at the need to take the carriage to Falmouth rather than riding on horseback
but it would have been impossible to take Charlotte with him on such a journey and he was
desperately counting on her to talk sense into Augusta should they find her. Her influence far
outweighed the need for swiftness. A sudden surge of jealousy rushed through him as the
carriage came to a stop outside Trafalgar House and the door opened revealing Charlotte still
in the company of Mr. Starling.

He exited the carriage and stood holding the door open for Charlotte, trying not to watch as
the two exchanged farewells yet she merely grasped his hand briefly and turned towards the
carriage. He did not miss the worried look on the man's face. “I will see Miss Heywood
safely returned,” he offered quickly.

“Godspeed to you both.”

*****
Charlotte glanced across the carriage at Mr. Colbourne. They’d exchanged few words after
leaving Sanditon and she’d dozed on and off throughout the night. Each time she’d been
woken by a particularly large bump in the road, she’d noted from the moonlight gleaming off
of his eyes that he remained wide awake. Now, some number of hours into the morning, he
still had not slept and dark shadows were forming under his eyes.

“We’ve been traveling all night. Perhaps you should try and sleep.”

“How can I?” he asked, his voice roughened by fatigue. “My mind is racing with thoughts of
how I might have stopped this.”

“What good will that do?”

“The die was cast the moment Denham declared his interest in her. Or rather, her inheritance.
I tried to warn Augusta but she was too stubborn to listen.”

“Augusta is not a child,” she reminded him. “She knows her own mind.”

“She’s too young to know her own mind.”

How many other girls and young women had been told the same thing? How many fathers
and uncles had brushed aside their daughter’s or niece’s opinions without truly ever trying to
understand their feelings? How many had been left feeling as though their thoughts did not
matter?

“Too often, young women are thought to be strangers to their own minds. It is left to fathers
or uncles to choose the path their lives should take. As if we require saving from ourselves.”

His brow furrowed as he considered her words. “This is not evidence that she does?”

“Even if he is unworthy, what she feels for him is real. She is a young woman in love.”

He seemed to ponder her words. “Then tell me this. What should I have done differently?”

“You could have listened. Instead of disparaging her. Persuaded her to make the right choice
for herself, instead of making the choice for her.” It was as if she was speaking to him four
months ago in the study at Heyrick Park. If only he had told her of his true feelings, of his
fears, how different both of their lives would be at this moment.

“All I want is to assure her future,” he asserted.

She knew all too well the sense of duty he felt. “Of course you do. That’s all any father
wants. Including mine.” The guilt she’d been holding inside since the moment he’d
announced that Augusta had eloped with Edward Denham rose to the surface. “I must also
own my share of the blame for this. I told Augusta she must follow her heart or she would
live to regret it. If I’d have known it were him, that it would have led to this, then I would
have never encouraged her.”

“I do not doubt it.”

“All I knew was that you were trying to choose a husband for her against her will. The
thought of Augusta being trapped in a loveless marriage, unable to be with the man she…It
was more than I could bear.”

*****

He swallowed hard against the lump that had formed in his throat, forcing himself to focus on
the words he could address. “It was never my intention to choose a husband for her, Miss
Heywood. I have merely been trying to give her the opportunities to meet young men who
will offer her a place of security, hoping that she would find a like-minded suitor who would
challenge her mind, appreciate her sharp wit and nurture her spirit. My hope has always been
that she can find a suitable husband who she also loves with all of her heart. It is my duty as
her guardian to ensure she’s taken care of. I would never wish to see her trapped as Lucy was,
tied to a man she did not love.”

Charlotte’s expression softened. “How did you come to be Augusta’s guardian? She never
said.”

Xander frowned, the question unexpected. But of course she was unlikely to know, Augusta
would have little wish to discuss that particular story, even with Charlotte. He had not
thought of the circumstances surrounding Augusta’s guardianship for some time.

“I met Augusta’s father, Phillip, at a dinner party in London where I knew no one but the host
and him not very well,” he explained. “He took pity on me standing all alone and drew me
into conversation. We had some shared interests and he took me under his wing, introducing
me to various people in London and including me in invitations.” He looked down at his
hands, his fingers moving by habit to the ring on his left hand. “It was he and his wife, Alice,
who introduced me to Lucy, Alice’s sister. I was entranced with her from the beginning and
Phillip and Alice encouraged her to consider me. When Samuel turned down his inheritance
and it came to me instead, her father became rather keen for the match, not realizing how in
debt the estate was.”

He looked up, finding her warm brown eyes studying him. He cleared his throat, realizing
he’d not answered her question. “But that’s neither here nor there. You asked about Augusta.”
He shifted in the seat, trying to find a more comfortable position for his legs after sitting so
long in the cramped carriage. “It made sense for them to name me as her guardian when Lucy
was still alive. Lucy and Alice’s father passed soon after we were married and their mother
had been gone for a few years at that point. Phillip had no siblings and only an elderly aunt
remained of his own family. Of course they never believed that anything would ever happen
to both of them, necessitating that she come into my care.”

“And after Lucy died,” her question was spoken in a soft voice, “they did not wish to change
the terms?”

“On the contrary,” he shook his head. “Leo is Augusta’s closest relative and…I suppose they
believed that if I would care for Leo as my own when I had every reason to choose not to,
then I would surely do the same for Augusta if it ever came to it.”
“Of course you would have. You probably never even gave it a second thought.” She said it
with such absolute confidence that he felt ashamed.

“Not at first,” he admitted. “I felt I had a duty to Phillip and Alice and to Augusta, even
though we barely knew each other. And I suppose to some extent I felt I owed it to them for
what I believed to be my part in Lucy’s death.”

Forgive yourself. The words still echoed in his head with every thought of Lucy.

He drew air deep into his lungs. “After Lucy died, I scarcely kept in contact with them. Alice
wrote often at first but I couldn’t bring myself to respond, my guilt was too overwhelming.
She was so distraught over Lucy’s death and well…I’m sure you can reason out the rest
yourself.”

“You cannot continue…”

He waved a hand in the air, knowing full well what she was about to say. “I know. I am still
trying.” He forced himself to continue the story. “Phillip and Alice were sailing back from
southern France when their ship went down in a storm. Phillip’s family made a great deal of
money in the wine trade and he was very good at making sound investments. They had been
importing casks and then bottling and selling wine for generations. Alice rarely accompanied
him but had decided to travel with him on this trip. Augusta was just sixteen and I hadn’t
seen her since Lucy’s funeral when she wasn’t much older than Leo is now.”

“That must have been a very difficult time for you both.”

“The journey from London was miserable. I didn’t know what to say to her, how to offer her
any comfort. I’d hoped that she and Leo would find companionship with one another but I
hadn’t really considered the age difference nor their differences in personality. Leo has
always been so exuberant, her imagination far greater than mine ever was as a child. And
Augusta is so stubborn and much too intelligent for her own good.”

A smile spread across Charlotte’s face. “Do you really not see how similar the two of you
are?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying that I am stubborn and much too intelligent?”

“Well, certainly stubborn,” her smile grew, warming him in a way he’d missed far too much.
He’d forgotten how beautiful she was when she smiled.

“I digress,” he pulled himself back to their conversation before his thoughts went too far
down that path.

“At first Augusta was quiet as a mouse, lost in grief as she mourned her parents. But as the
months went by, she became so angry . And I had no capacity to deal with her feelings when
I could barely manage my own. She was insolent to everyone and she and Leo began to
bicker more. At times, it was as though she picked fights simply to have something to do.
Governesses came and went and she continually pressed to be brought out into Society. She
wanted more from me than I was able to give and I was at a complete loss as to what to do
until you arrived.”

“The day of the parade, when I brought the girls home, she told me that she’d been a prisoner
in your home for sixteen months and eleven days.”

“She found being at Heyrick Park too restrictive after living her entire life in London and I
did not approve of the girls going into town whenever they wished, thinking it best that they
remain on the grounds as I had done as a boy. I had little idea of what I was doing,” he
admitted sheepishly. “Current events only further demonstrate that I still do not.”

“No one is born knowing how to be a parent,” she reminded him gently. “And most fathers
have the benefit of having a mother present to help. You have done more than many would
do. You could have easily made other accommodations for both of the girls long ago, yet you
did not. And it speaks well of you just how much effort you’ve put into becoming a better
parent over the past few months. You must give yourself some credit.”

He shook his head in disbelief at her continued faith in him despite all that had occurred
between them. “As you are in no position to stop me, Miss Heywood, you will simply have to
learn to forgive me as I continue to give credit where credit is due.”

She blushed and lowered her eyes to her hands, her fingers twined tightly together. “I learned
to forgive you long ago, Mr. Colbourne.”

*****

The moment they exited the carriage onto the street in Falmouth, Charlotte noted that Mr.
Colbourne’s agitation over Augusta had returned. Whatever respite from the anxiety he felt
over his niece’s disappearance was lost now that they must begin the daunting task of
actually finding her.

“We shall just have to search street by street.”

“Are we not best to start with the boarding houses?” she suggested. “If they’ve been traveling
all night as we have, they’ll be looking for a place to sleep.”

“I fear sleep will be the last thing on his mind. He brought her here to ruin her. To force a
marriage.”

“She will not be ruined!” she quickly asserted. She could not bear to hear such words spoken
about the young woman she’d grown to care so much for. “She will be the same Augusta she
ever was. No less a part of your family and no less deserving of your love.” His expression
told her that he was at least listening to her, even if he was finding it difficult to accept what
she was saying. “I know it’s not the life you wished for her, but for her sake, try to reconcile
yourself to it.”

*****
After inquiring at the third inn they’d come to, Xander was beginning to think their search
was nothing more than an exercise in futility. He stepped out of the door, back into the street
where Charlotte stood waiting, unable to enter with him for propriety’s sake.

“Why did I think they’d be staying under their own names?” he voiced his frustration. “He’s
far too calculating for that.”

“It’s too soon to give up hope,” she insisted. “I just spoke to the baker’s boy. He delivers all
over the town, every inn, every hostel. I asked if he’d seen anyone who fits their description.
He said there’s a tall, fair man staying at the Old Crown Inn with his new bride.”

He stared after her as she began to walk up the lane, seemingly confident as to where she was
going. Leave it to Charlotte to think of asking the baker’s boy, something he’d likely have
never even considered. He shook his head in wonder as he followed after, his longer legs
easily catching up to her. Yet again she’d managed to surprise him.

When he saw the sign for the Old Crown Inn, he quickened his steps. He only hoped they’d
arrived in time to prevent her from marrying Denham. Charlotte’s hand on his arm stopped
him before he reached the door.

The expression on her face was one of concern and empathy. “Whatever’s transpired, try to
show compassion, or you’ll only drive her further away.”

Without a word, he entered the dimly lit common room, his eyes seeking the proprietor.
Within moments, he had the answer he sought and returned to the street for Charlotte. “They
are here.”

He turned, heading back into the inn and swiftly up the stairs, Charlotte at his heels. Heaven
help Edward Denham if he found the two in bed together. With only a brief pause to draw a
deep breath, he burst into the room.

Augusta sat up on the bed, her eyes wide with surprise. While her dress has been removed,
she still wore her chemise and stays. “Uncle? Miss Heywood?”

Following her gaze across the room, his eyes found Denham lying fully clothed on the settee,
apparently unconcerned to have been discovered. The air in his lungs escaped in a rush of air
as relief washed over him.

Augusta scrambled from the bed, pulling a shawl around her shoulders as Denham slowly
stood, giving off an air of indifference. It meant nothing to him to have coerced an innocent,
naive young woman to marry him for the sole purpose of gaining her inheritance.

Augusta clutched Denham’s arm, her chin raised defiantly. “I am sorry you chose to come all
this way, but you have had a wasted journey. We are in love. I will not let you drag me away.”

“We are resolved to be married, Sir.”

Xander glanced at Charlotte, her eyes silently asking him to please consider her words, to
hold his temper and think of Augusta’s feelings. As much as it upset him, he could not
discount her affection for the man, even if she did not know his true character. He must trust
her to make her own decision.

“Then I will do nothing to stand in your way. You are old enough to know your own mind,
Augusta. If you genuinely love Sir Edward, if this is the man you wish to marry, then all I ask
is that you return to Sanditon so that we can hold a proper wedding.”

Surprise and elation quickly flitted across his niece’s face. She’d been so certain that he
would insist she return home that she’d never considered he might actually give her his
blessing if she did. Charlotte went to her side as Denham donned his waistcoat and coat.

“I feared I might never see Leo again,” Augusta clasped Charlotte’s hands. “Now she can be
my bridesmaid.” She looked towards him, her eyes lit with happiness. “I would never have
dared to hope for such a change in you, Uncle. You must surely be the cause of it, Miss
Heywood.”

“I can make no such claim,” Charlotte brushed aside Augusta’s assertion.

Xander took a step towards them. There was little more he could do to stop either of the
women before him marrying the men they’d chosen, whether he approved or not. But he
would not allow himself to stand back without making one final appeal from his heart to both
of them.

“Let me just say this. I would never ask you to marry any man against your will.” He allowed
his eyes to settle on Charlotte once more. “A young woman should be free to follow her
heart, not forced into a loveless marriage just because her parent or guardian considers it
advantageous. But I would beg you to consider if this is what you truly want.” He turned to
his niece. “You’re a remarkable young woman. I’ve not said it enough. You hold so much
potential. I’d hate to see you set a limit on a life that’s barely begun. The choice is yours
alone. If you sincerely believe that Edward Denham is worthy of you, that he can offer you
the fulfillment and happiness you deserve, then you have my blessing.”

“Edward is a good man. He has treated me with nothing but respect and kindness. He could
have taken my honor but chose not to.”

“No,” Denham interrupted suddenly. “It was only their arrival that spared your honor.”

As one, they turned to Edward Denham in disbelief. Xander stilled, watching Denham
closely. By all accounts, the man was an experienced liar.

Augusta moved to him, confusion etched on her features. “ What ?”

Denham took a step back, increasing the distance between them. “A good man would not
steal you from your family for his own ends.”

“This wasn’t for your own ends,” Augusta insisted, her voice wavering. “We are in love.”

“I’ve never been in love with you,” Denham admitted with no hint of shame, his eyes
narrowed with distaste, as though the very word was some foul thing in his mouth. “It has
only ever been your inheritance I wanted. Not you.”

“Edward, that is a lie. Don’t do this,” Augusta pleaded. “You do not care about my money.
We are fated to be together.”

“Are you really so naive?” he sneered. “There were many women before you. There will be
many women to come. Did you really think that you would somehow be the one to redeem
me? I always put myself first. Ask Esther. Ask Clara.” He leaned closer, his voice lowering to
a chilling whisper. “Ask my son.”

Denham raised his gaze to his, one last hard look in his eyes. He recognized it for what it
was. He had chosen to walk away. No man had forced him. And Xander would do well to
remember it.

As the door shut behind him, Augusta bent in anguish, her broken sobs filling the room.

*****

Charlotte studied Mr. Colbourne intently as they stood in the doorway of the inn, waiting on
Augusta to emerge.

Although he’d heeded her advice many times in the past, she’d still been surprised by his
reaction to finding Augusta with Edward Denham. Rather than lash out at either of them in
anger, he’d remained calm, allowing Augusta to speak and taking her feelings into account.
The words he’d said to his niece had proven that he was very much changed from the man
who’d introduced her as lacking manners, civility or any qualities that would make her
remotely marriageable. His concern for her had been genuine and his desire to see her have a
proper wedding, sincere.

“You would really have let them marry?” she finally asked.

Tired eyes met hers, exhausted from being up all night and by all that had occurred. “If
you’ve taught me anything, Miss Heywood, it’s that a young woman has the right to choose
her own destiny. I would respect whatever choice she made, even if it pained me. Just as I
must respect yours.”

The resignation in his eyes nearly shattered her. Would that she could fall into his arms and
tell him it had all been a mistake, a horrible dream that had left them shaken but still hopeful
everything would be resolved.

Augusta emerged from the stairwell, brushing hastily past them, her eyes red. It had taken her
some time to calm down, her heart broken by Edward Denham’s admission that he had only
sought to marry her for her inheritance. She managed to hold her head high as they walked
through the streets to the waiting carriage, ignoring any questioning looks cast towards the
young woman wearing a ball gown during the day.

They rode in silence as the carriage rolled along the roads back towards Sanditon. As the
light began to fade, Mr. Colbourne appeared to finally give in to his weariness, closing his
eyes with a barely heard sigh.
Next to her, Augusta let out a soft cry. “Why did I let myself fall in love with him?” Her
voice was heavy with emotion, her tears barely contained.

Charlotte reached for her hand, grasping it tightly in hers. “We cannot choose who we fall in
love with. I know something of the agony you’re feeling.” Mr. Colbourne’s eyes opened, the
moonlight reflecting in their depths as he listened to her words. “But in time your heart will
heal, and this will come to seem no more than a distant memory.”

She turned her head towards the window, blinking back tears. She did not know who she was
trying to convince; Augusta, Mr. Colbourne, or herself.

*****

It was quite late by the time the carriage stopped outside to Trafalgar House. Mr. Colbourne
exited and held out his hand to help her out. She looked back at Augusta but she remained
asleep, having finally succumbed to her fatigue. They walked the short distance to the steps
together.

“Thank you,” he said softly, as though the late hour demanded quiet from him. “I’d have been
at a loss without you.”

She was confident that one day he would come to realize that he was a much more capable
father than he gave himself credit for. “You must have more faith in yourself.”

At the bottom of the steps, she turned to him. As they stood there in silence, she realized that
there were no further words needed between them. He had said all that he could in hopes that
she would choose to stay. He loved her and was offering her a much different life than she
would otherwise have. He had accepted that it was her decision, resigning himself to a life
without her.

She wished it could be as simple as loving him.

Reaching out, she grasped his fingers in hers. It was all she could give. With a single look she
tried to express everything she was feeling. That she forgave him. That she understood why
he’d pushed her away. That she knew how difficult it was for him to let her go. And that no
matter what happened, she loved him.

The hour was late and the longer they stood together, the more they would each be tempted to
act on their desire for more than the touch of their hands. “You should take Augusta home,”
she urged.

He gave the slightest of nods, turning to leave. “Goodnight.”

She watched as he climbed into the carriage and it drove off into the night. Not goodbye, she
thought . He refused to tell her goodbye.

“Charlotte,” the voice came out of the darkness as the carriage rolled away, startling her. A
tall figure she knew well emerged, walking towards her.

“Ralph? What are you doing out at such a late hour?”

“I’ve been walking the streets. Waiting for your return.”

“You had no need to,” she asserted.

“I was afraid you might not come back to me.”

The door behind her opened, Georgiana appearing in the doorway. “Charlotte! Thank
goodness. You must come at once.”

*****

The gathered dinner guests watched as the newly returned Miss Heywood and Miss Lambe
hurried up the stairs to see Mrs. Parker. Despite Mr. Arthur Parker’s assumption of host
duties, the air in the room was growing decidedly uncomfortable in Lydia’s opinion.

Her mother frowned, looking towards Mr. Starling. “Do I gather Miss Heywood has returned
in Mr. Colbourne’s carriage?”

“That’s right, your Grace,” Mr. Starling confirmed.

“You’re a very trusting man, Mr. Starling.” A sudden realization dawned on her. “They were
not alone ?” she gasped, taken aback. Lydia knew her mother would be far from scandalized
if it had been her daughter unchaperoned in a carriage with Mr. Colbourne. In fact, she’d
likely be delighted if such a thing occurred.

Mr. Starling looked somewhat distressed. “Miss Markham was with them.”

“At this late hour? How intriguing? Where can they have been, I wonder?”

“It hardly seems important now, does it?” Miss Harmon asked, confused by her mother’s
preoccupation with the whereabouts of Mr. Colbourne and his former governess when Mrs.
Parker was lying so gravely ill upstairs.

“There is little more important to my mother than what Mr. Colbourne is doing or thinking at
any given moment,” Lydia explained.

As usual, her mother took exception with her daughter expressing her own opinions. “That is
because he has a fine house, a good income and you are in need of a husband. I’m thinking
only of you, Lydia.”

“Is your daughter not at liberty to make her own choice in a marriage, just as her brother
has?” Miss Harmon asked, surprised.

Her mother seemed aghast at the very idea. “If it were left to me, I would be married already,
Miss Harmon,” she explained. But fortunately, my dear mother saved me from an
unpropitious match.”

Little did her mother know that she was still very much in contact with the man she’d
deemed unsuitable. And they were still very much in love.
 *****

Charlotte made her way reluctantly down the stairs of Trafalgar House to where Ralph stood
waiting in the drawing room.

After watching Tom with Mary and witnessing the overwhelming depth of his love for her,
the reality of what she must do had become painfully clear. Her soul ached for such a love.
For months she’d fought against her own heart as it called out for the one man she’d ever felt
such a deep and all-consuming love for. No matter how hard she tried, she could not deny her
feelings. Her heart belonged in Sanditon. Its home was at Heyrick Park. She was no longer
willing to compromise.

Ralph turned at the sound of her footsteps. “How is Mrs. Parker?”

“There’s still no change,” she replied. “You didn’t need to stay.”

“And Miss Markham? You have yet to tell me what transpired in Falmouth.”

“She’s quite unharmed,” she reassured him.

“I’m glad. I’m sure Mr. Colbourne was grateful for your presence.”

“Ralph,” she began, knowing that delaying any longer would only make telling him worse.

“Earlier,” he interrupted her, “while you were upstairs, we were talking about marriage. Miss
Harmon asked Lady Montrose if her children were free to marry who they chose.” He spoke
in a rush of words, as though he’d been practicing what he wished to say and was anxious to
get the words out before he lost the courage.

She hesitated, unsettled by his response. “What was her answer?”

“Lady Lydia said there was someone she’d wanted to marry,” he explained, “but her mother
put an end to it.” He drew a deep breath, as though he was resigning himself to an inevitable
outcome. “I was never the man you chose, was I? This was arranged by our parents before we
even knew what marriage meant.”

“Yes,” she admitted, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Ralph…good, kind, solid Ralph had
realized the truth. She was torn between guilt and relief for her secret to finally be
discovered. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders yet it was impossible to feel as
though she’d been reprieved. She grasped his hands in hers. She’d never wished to cause him
any pain. “You are so dear to me, Ralph. You always will be. But I cannot marry you.” The
tears began to fall freely down her cheeks.

“You are in love with Mr. Colbourne.”

Shame cut into her like a knife. After months of trying to hide it from everyone, it seemed
she had fooled none. He did not deserve the pain she was causing him. “I tried so hard not to
be. I would understand if you despised me.”

“No. I cannot feel anything other than love for you. That is what makes this so hard.”
Chapter End Notes

This one came together much faster than I anticipated. I actually considered attempting
the Augusta/Leo/Lucy twin age paradox question (I have my own theory but it might be
controversial to some) but decided to let it go and just continue to turn a blind eye to the
writers' poor math skills. Also, my favorite scene of S3 proved to be the most difficult to
write because there's no (verbal) talking. Also, 100k words?! Holy cow!

As always, thanks for the kudos and comments. I appreciate all of them.
 Fathomless
Chapter Summary

Heartbreak ends in happiness for our favorite couple.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Fathomless

Xander woke late still feeling emotionally and physically exhausted. Between the journey to
Falmouth to bring Augusta home and spending so much time with Charlotte, the events of the
past two days had taken more from him than he’d expected. It was long past the time he
usually took Hannibal out for a ride but he would make it up later that morning once he’d
eaten and had a chance to wake up a bit. Perhaps they would ride to the beach instead of just
around the estate. He might find the sea air more invigorating.

He headed down the stairs with the intention of requesting a late breakfast when his attention
was caught by the sight of his daughter, brother and housekeeper all staring out the drawing
room window. Joining them, he saw Augusta standing below the terrace next to the stream
that flowed behind the house. His niece’s grief was heart-wrenching to witness and he ached
for her. It did not take much for him to imagine how she must feel. He had never wanted
Augusta to feel the kind of pain he had endured.

“She will not eat. She will not sleep,” Mrs. Wheatley’s voice was heavy with concern. “It is
like having a phantom in the house.”

“I shall never fall in love,” Leo declared. “It seems a beastly business.”

“It is, Leo,” Xander agreed. “Avoid it if you can.” He saw the amused look on Samuel’s face
out of the corner of his eye as Leo and Mrs. Wheatley abandoned the window, leaving the
brothers alone. A sigh escaped him. “What do I say to Augusta? How do I reassure her?”

Samuel shrugged. “I can offer you nothing. I fear at that age, I was more often the cause of
such suffering than the victim.”

He couldn’t help but smile. He had no doubt of the truth of Samuel’s admission. Xander had
heard many tales of his older brother’s exploits when he’d followed him to university. “Ah,
but now of course, those days are long behind you.”

“They may yet be. Strange as it sounds, I have lately found my thoughts turning to marriage.”
Startled, he turned to look at him. It came as a great surprise to him that his brother’s
relationship with Lady de Clemente had become so close, so quickly. He’d always assumed
that Samuel would be a life-long bachelor. “She must be a remarkable woman to have tamed
your wayward heart.”

“She is astounding.”

“I’m glad for you, Sam,” he offered his brother a smile. “I am. I’m increasingly of the belief
that we’re not meant to walk this life alone. If recent events have proved anything, it’s that
Leo and Augusta are in need of a mother.”

“I thought you’d abandoned hope that Miss Heywood…”

“I’m not thinking of her,” he insisted. He could no longer afford to, lest his heart never
recover.

“Xander…”

He turned to leave. “I’m fine, Sam. Really.”

*****

“That must have taken great courage,” Mary said as Charlotte finished telling her about her
conversation with Ralph the night before.

The guilt she felt was only worsened by how relieved she was now that her engagement was
over. “I cannot bear to think of the pain I’ve caused Ralph. I couldn’t live a lie, Mary,” she
confessed. “I couldn’t make a promise before God when I…when I’m in love with someone
else.”

Mary looked at her with compassion in her eyes. “Mr. Colbourne, perhaps?”

Charlotte nodded slowly, reassured that Mary had already guessed the truth and did not look
upon her harshly. It was as though she could breathe again for the first time since she’d
returned to Sanditon. A part of her had always been hesitant to share the truth with Tom,
Mary and Arthur. She did not want them to be hurt that she had moved on so soon after
Sidney.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” Mary admitted. “Does he know? That you are no longer
to be married?”

She shook her head. “Not yet.”

“Then why are you sitting here with me?”

Laughter bubbled up inside her and the two women clung to each other until tears ran down
their cheeks.

*****
Xander pulled Hannibal up at the top of the cliffs. He’d ridden the horse hard and he could
feel the animal’s sides expanding in and out beneath his legs as he pulled air into his lungs.
His own heart raced from the exhilaration of riding at such speed across the wide open land
that overlooked the sea. After a few minutes of rest, he guided Hannibal down the path to the
beach.

The small section of beach formed a sort of crescent shape, the cliffs jutting out to the East
and West, making it impossible to see up or down the beach until one was closer to the waves
that broke on the shore. Hannibal’s feet were nearly in the water before he saw the riders
heading towards him. Xander frowned, trying to make the riders out. He knew of everyone in
the vicinity who rode with any frequency and rarely came across anyone else riding on the
beach. As the figures drew closer, it became evident that one was riding side-saddle. Not
feeling much like socializing, he was about to turn Hannibal back when the identity of the
woman became startling clear. Lady Lydia Montrose.

The two riders exchanged words and the man pulled his horse up, allowing Lady Lydia to
continue on alone.

Xander dipped his head. “Lady Lydia.”

She gave him a wry smile. “Mr. Colbourne. A lovely morning for riding, is it not?”

“Very much so, my Lady.” He nodded at her mount. “She looks to be a fine animal.”

“She is indeed,” she agreed.

“Your companion does not wish to be introduced?”

She had the grace to look slightly ashamed. “I thought it would be best if we spoke alone,”
she explained. “If I may speak plainly?”

“Please.” It crossed his mind that she might believe him to be perturbed by finding her riding
with a man but he found the situation oddly amusing. He wondered if her mother had any
idea of what her daughter was doing at that moment.

“Mr. Farnsworth and I have been acquainted for some time. He and I formed an attachment
some months ago but my mother did not approve of Mr. Farnsworth’s financial prospects,
insisting that I look elsewhere for a suitable match.”

“I assume you are referring to me?”

She smiled. “You would be a most suitable match in nearly any woman’s eyes, Mr.
Colbourne. Unfortunately, you have one very obvious flaw.”

“I have many flaws, Lady Lydia,” he argued good naturedly, not in the least offended by her
observation. “But I find myself intrigued to learn which flaw you find most objectionable so
that I may dedicate myself to remedying such behavior.”

She tipped her head, eying him sympathetically. “You are in love with Miss Heywood.”
Xander’s eyes shifted towards the horizon. Was the entire town aware of his feelings for
Charlotte? He blew out a huff of air, wishing he could expel all of his pain and frustration so
easily. “I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to remedy that particular problem, my Lady.
Perhaps in time…” he shrugged.

“I doubt any woman would be willing to wait that long, Mr. Colbourne,” she noted gently.
“Or relish the inevitable comparisons.”

He felt his neck and ears redden despite knowing in his heart that she spoke the truth. It
would be a long time before he did not compare every woman he met to Charlotte, if such a
thing was even possible. And he was convinced he would never forget her.

“Oh, I’m certain there are plenty of women who would be more than happy to look past your
feelings for another woman if they could become mistress of such a fine estate,” Lady Lydia
continued. “But I am not such a woman.”

He had to commend her on her honesty and for being so forthcoming. She was saving him
from having to find some manner of making it plain to her and her mother that no proposal
would come from him for the foreseeable future…if ever. He glanced again at the man who
still sat on his horse some distance away. “And Mr. Farnsworth?”

She looked back towards her companion, her face lighting up. “He and I are to be married,”
she confirmed. “I’m afraid I continued to go along with my mother’s plans to pursue you as a
match because I knew you would never propose, allowing Mr. Farnsworth more time to
finalize a rather lucrative business opportunity in hopes that my mother would change her
opinion of him. I finally decided that I was no longer willing to sacrifice the love I feel for
him simply because my mother believes I should. I would rather be happy than wealthy, Mr.
Colbourne. I apologize if my actions have in any way offended you. It was not my intention
to cause you any embarrassment.”

“No apology is necessary, my Lady,” he assured her. “And I appreciate your honesty. I do not
know if I shall ever remarry but if I do, I hope that she will be as kind and considerate of a
woman as you are. Please accept my heartfelt congratulations and I wish you all the best in
sharing your happy news with your mother.”

She rolled her eyes, laughing. “Thank you, Sir. I shall need it.”

Xander tipped his head. “If you’ll excuse me, my Lady. I shall leave the beach to you and Mr.
Farnsworth.” She nodded in acknowledgement and he tugged on Hannibal’s reins, turning
him back towards the path up to the top of the cliffs.

“Mr. Colbourne.”

He stopped Hannibal, turning to look back at her.

“There’s still hope, Mr. Colbourne. You have not been the only one incapable of hiding your
feelings. She does love you.”

He at least appreciated the sentiment. “I wish I had your optimism, my Lady.”

 *****

The walk to Heyrick Park renewed Charlotte after the long night spent at Mary’s bedside and
the day and night before spent traveling all the way to Falmouth and back. For the first time
since last summer, she felt a sense of peace and hopefulness inside her. She allowed her
thoughts to wander, thinking what he might say and do when she was finally able to tell him
that her engagement to Ralph was over.

Would he be struck silent, so surprised that he would not be able to speak? Would he pull her
into his arms and kiss her with the same passion that he had on the cliffs only a little more
than a week ago when he’d demanded that she stay? Would they both be so overcome that
they would simply cling to each other, riding out the storm of emotions that was certain to
overwhelm them after everything that they’d been through together?

She chewed on her lip anxiously as she reached the long tree-lined drive. Only a few months
ago she’d walked this drive, approaching the house full of the same hope that filled her today.
While she hadn’t been certain that he would make her an offer of marriage that day, she’d
thought there was a chance that he might. And when he stood from the breakfast table and
asked her to speak in private…

No , she shook her head. She would not think back on that day any longer. The past was in
the past. That was all to be forgotten. He loved her and he wanted her to marry him. As soon
as she had a chance to tell him her news, everything would be right once more. They would
finally be together.

She rang the bell at the front door, still feeling strange that she was not walking around to the
servants entrance.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Mrs. Wheatley greeted her warmly.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wheatley.” She followed her into the foyer.

“How is Mrs. Parker, Miss Heywood?”

“I’m glad to say she’s recovering well, thank you Mrs. Wheatley.”

“What a mercy. I expect you’ll be returning home again now?”

Charlotte smiled anxiously, her nerves threatening to get the better of her. “As a matter of
fact, that is what I wished to discuss with Mr. Colbourne.”

“I’m afraid Mr. Colbourne is out riding this morning.” The housekeeper appeared genuinely
regretful.

Disappointment washed over her. She had counted on him being home.

“Miss Heywood!” She turned to find Leo and Samuel.

“Have you come to check on Augusta?” Samuel asked.

“How is she?”

“Inconsolable,” Leo groaned.

“I assume Lady de Clemente has told you that she is to leave Sanditon?” Samuel asked.

That was indeed unexpected news, adding to her disappointment. She had not seen Susan
since Georgiana’s party. “No. Why?”

“All she would say is that she is expected in London. And regrettably, there is nothing I could
say to change her mind.”

She watched as Samuel walked down the hall, clearly as upset as she was that Susan was
leaving. She would have to speak with her friend as soon as possible.

“May I pass on a message to Mr. Colbourne, Miss Heywood?”

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley. But I would sooner deliver it in person.”

*****

It was the next day before Charlotte was able to speak with Susan, meeting her friend on the
beach for a walk. “Samuel said you were to leave. He said you’d been called back to
London.”

“A certain friend has decided he requires my company after all. And one doesn’t say no to
this particular friend.” Charlotte sensed a reticence and pain in her friend she had not seen
before. “But before I go, I shall at least finally see you get the happiness you deserve.”

“I intend to speak to Mr. Colbourne at Lady Denham’s wedding. I only hope his feelings
towards me haven’t altered.”

Susan squeezed her arm. “Ah, it is safe to say there is no chance of that.”

*****

Charlotte was waiting in the drawing room of Trafalgar House when Georgiana arrived. Now
that she’d finally admitted her feelings for Mr. Colbourne, she was anxious to discuss her
plan to tell him that she’d ended her engagement to Ralph at Lady Denham’s wedding the
next day. The look on her friend’s face however, told her that something was wrong.

She stood quickly. “Georgiana. What is it?”

Georgiana took her hand. “Lady Lydia is engaged. She swore me to secrecy.”

Charlotte felt as though her heart was shattering into a thousand pieces. Every hope and
dream she’d been building in her head since the moment she’d told Ralph that she could not
marry him disappeared in an instant. He was engaged to Lady Lydia? So soon? “Then I’ve
missed my chance.”
“I’m so sorry.”

*****

The churchyard was filled with the highest of Sanditon’s Society as they waited to enter the
chapel for Lady Denham’s wedding to Mr. Pryce.

Charlotte and Georgiana had joined the Parker’s, the group arriving together. “Mr.
Colbourne!” Tom exclaimed upon seeing him standing with Augusta. “The very man. And
Miss Markham. Your Graces. Lady Lydia.”

Charlotte nodded politely in greeting, her stomach twisting into knots at the sight of him in
the company of Lady Lydia. She had not counted on seeing them together nor the ache it
caused inside her.

He glanced at her briefly before turning towards the Parkers. “I’m so pleased to see you
recovering, Mrs. Parker.”

“Thank you. I’m almost restored to my former self.”

“I was hoping we might have a chance to discuss our plans for the Old Town, Mr.
Colbourne?” Tom inquired, obviously eager to speak with him.

“If he means your plans, Mrs. Parker, I should be glad to.”

“I’m happy to say he does, Sir.”

His eyes found her again, his lips parting as if to say something when he was interrupted by
the dowager duchess.

“I was just saying how charming this little chapel is. It would hardly do for Harry and Miss
Lambe, but it is the perfect size for an older bride. I wonder if you have such a chapel on
your estate, Mr. Colbourne?”

“I’m afraid not, your Grace.”

“Perhaps you should build one,” Lady Lydia gave him a rather pointed look, as though some
secret joke was being passed between them.

“I will certainly consider it,” he replied, sounding slightly amused,” if the occasion demands
it.”

The look of delight that crossed Lady Montrose's face spoke volumes. She was positively
giddy with excitement and Charlotte felt her stomach twist into an even tighter knot. “Excuse
me.” She moved past the gathering towards Samuel, hastily escaping the conversation. She
could not bear to see him with Lady Lydia for one second more.

“Miss Heywood,” Samuel smiled, the usual sparkle in his eyes missing.

“Mr. Colbourne. Have you spoken any further to Lady de Clemente?”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid it’s hopeless, Miss Heywood. She cannot be convinced and
will not tell me anything more about why she has no choice but to leave.”

The crowd began to move into the church and they fell into step together. She waited until the
press of people had eased to continue their conversation. “You cannot let her leave.”

“I’m a lawyer, Miss Heywood. I know when a case is hopeless.”

“I don’t care if he is the king,” Charlotte argued, “she deserves so much better. Someone who
will fight for her.”

Samuel’s eyes widened. “The king?” he asked in disbelief. He gave an awkward laugh before
entering the pew where Augusta sat waiting.

Augusta looked up at her. “Will you sit beside me?”

“Of course,” she agreed quickly, eager to offer any comfort to the young woman despite the
awkward position it was placing her in.

*****

The last person Xander expected to find himself seated next to at Lady Denham’s wedding
was Charlotte. Yet there she was sitting in the Colbourne family pew next to Augusta, an
empty space next to her. Each time he’d thought she’d left Sanditon to return home, she
appeared again, as though fate was intentionally torturing him by forcing him to be close to
her once more.

He opened the pew door and cleared his throat as he sat down next to her. She was so close
that he could smell the flowery scent of roses on her skin, the same scent that had filled his
senses when they’d kissed for the first time. It took all of his will-power not to stand up and
leave the church.

He cleared his throat again. “I’m pleased to see that Mrs. Parker is recovering well,” he said
lamely, realizing too late he’d already expressed the same sentiment before they’d entered the
church. She had seemed oddly uncomfortable then, refusing to look at him and excusing
herself before he could speak to her. A far cry from the night before when she’d taken his
hand in hers.

“Yes, so am I.”

Belatedly, he recalled the message he’d received the day before. “Mrs. Wheatley said there
was something you wished to tell me. Something you could only say in person?”

“I simply came to say a last goodbye. That is all.”

He looked at her sharply, inexplicably certain that she was not telling him the truth.

*****
Samuel hurried to catch Susan as they left the church. He placed his hand on her back. “Why
did you not tell me the truth? That he had summoned you?”

“That is not the word I would use,” she seemed offended.

“You tried to claim that this was just a moment. But you don’t believe that any more than I
do,” he argued.

“Please don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be.” She turned to walk away once
more.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” he called after her. She stopped and he went to her again. “That he
could treat you with such disdain, like a possession to be picked up or dropped on a whim.
I…I know I cannot offer much, but I promise to love only you. To be faithful and constant
and to dedicate myself to your happiness.”

“My happiness is beside the point.”

“No. Your happiness is all that matters,” he insisted. He was practically pleading with her
now. “More than riches or position or whatever the terms of your arrangement may be.” He
watched as her features threatened to crumple, her eyes filling.

“I’m sorry.” She said and walked away for the last time.

*****

Charlotte wiped a tear from her eye as she finished reading the letter from her father. Despite
his love for her, she had not been certain of the response she would receive when he heard the
news of her broken engagement. “My father has written a letter of such kindness, although he
is greatly disappointed. Whereas Alison will feel only relief that I’m not to marry Ralph. I
think I shall stay with her and Declan, while I plan what comes next.”

It seemed unthinkable that within a matter of just a few days, she had gone from planning to
return to Willingden for her wedding, to hoping she would be staying in Sanditon and
marrying Mr. Colbourne, to now planning to leave for Ireland because she could not bear to
be in either place any longer.

“Have you given the matter much thought?” Arthur asked.

“I’ve always dreamed of opening a school for young women. So, in the first instance, I shall
look for a position as a teacher.”

“You know, Charlotte, you are more than welcome to stay here for as long as you like,” Tom
offered.

“I was hoping you might help with my plans for the Old Town,” Mary added.

She knew she could not stay. Not now. She would never be able to withstand seeing him with
Lady Lydia on his arm. “I’ll do whatever I can before I leave. But it’s time for me to start
anew.”
 *****

When they arrived at the Filkins’ home, Charlotte happily greeted young Tess, taking her
onto her lap as Tom and Mary laid out the improvements that would be provided to the
residents of Old Town.

“Our priority is to ensure that every home in the Old Town is safe and warm,” Mary
explained, showing her the proposal she had worked so hard on.

“We shall replace every roof that needs it,” Tom’s said enthusiastically, “and rebuild every
house that isn’t structurally sound. Isn’t that right, Mary?”

“Yes. And also each family will also have their own plot of land to cultivate.”

“It isn’t that we don’t appreciate it, Mrs. Parker,” Mrs. Filkins said, “but how are we to pay
for this?”

“Mrs. Filkins, how can we take pride in our town unless we look after our workers?”

“And then there’s the school, of course,” Mary added.

Charlotte’s ears perked up. “The school?”

“Oh yes,” Tom nodded. “Mr. Colbourne was very particular that one of the conditions of his
investment was that we build a school that anyone can attend. Boys and girls.”

Mary turned to her. “He said it was vital that every young woman be learned as well as
accomplished.”

So happy was she by the unexpected news, she very nearly started crying. He had done this?
He had insisted that her idea come to fruition as a condition of his investment in Sanditon?
All the while knowing that he would receive nothing in return. Simply because it was her
idea, her dream. Oh, how much he had changed since the day they’d met.

“Well, that’s…that’s wonderful.”

*****

Charlotte was still in awe of learning that Mr. Colbourne had insisted that his investment lead
to the building of a school for the children of Sanditon when Lady Denham arrived at
Trafalgar House that afternoon. She knew that getting Lady Denham to agree on a further
investment was key to implementing Mary’s proposal.

“And how much will this yield us?” Lady Denham demanded after listening to Mary’s
proposal.

“Not a penny, my Lady,” Mary admitted. “As a matter of fact, it will cost us. An initial outlay
of eighty pounds.”
Lady Denham looked at Mary, aghast. “I thought we were supposed to be running a
fashionable resort. Not a charity!”

“Mr. Colbourne has already offered half the money we require,” Tom assured her.

Charlotte looked at Tom, startled by this new information. When Tom and Mary had said that
Mr. Colbourne had agreed to invest in the Old Town; she had not thought he would have
invested such an enormous sum. His commitment to helping the community was far from
admirable, it was astonishing. Once again he had managed to surprise her.

“Why?” Lady Denham demanded. “What does he stand to gain from this?”

“In the short term, nothing,” Mary admitted. “It’s an investment in Sanditon’s future.”

“Why should I care about that? I won’t be around to see it.”

“What about your legacy, my Lady?” Charlotte interjected. “How you’ll be remembered?”

“Why are you still here? Weren’t you supposed to be marrying a farmer?”

Arthur and Tom exchanged uncomfortable looks as Mary glanced at her sympathetically. She
was not about to allow the older woman to make her feel ashamed in any way. “I was. But I
reconsidered.”

“Oh well,” her self-righteousness swiftly lessened. “I don’t suppose I can criticize you for
that. You were always a strange, outspoken young lady. What will become of you, I wonder.”

“I shall find a way to live my life on my own terms, Lady Denham. Just as you have.”

“Very well.” She stood to leave. “Whatever Mr. Colbourne has offered, I shall match it. I
won’t be made to look a miser by him.”

*****

“Mr. Colbourne, you have a visitor,” Mrs. Wheatley announced.

Samuel turned from where he’d been brooding by the fireplace, wondering who would
possibly be visiting him at this time of night. His eyes widened in amazement at the sight of
the most beautiful woman in the world, her eyes shining as though she’d been crying. “I
thought you would be on your way to London.”

“I was halfway there and then I realized I had left something behind,” Susan said, walking
towards him. “Something I would rather not live without.”

“Won’t his majesty be displeased?”

“I couldn’t care less.”

He pulled her into his arms, his astonishment quickly turning into absolute adoration.
 *****

Susan tucked her hand into the crook of his arm as they walked along the beach, enjoying the
quiet morning solitude together. His disbelief that she had returned to him was still so strong
that he felt as though he should ask her to pinch him so he could be sure he was actually
awake.

“Who could have foreseen our efforts to unite Xander and Miss Heywood ended up uniting
us instead?”

“Truth be told, I am still bitterly disappointed that we failed in that regard,” she admitted. “I
know it’s ungracious of me, but I do wish your brother wasn’t marrying Lady Lydia.”

Samuel stopped, looking at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Your brother is engaged to Lady Lydia.”

He shook his head. “Believe me, he is not engaged to Lady Lydia. She’s engaged to some
gentleman she’s been carrying on with for months in secret. He came across them riding on
the beach the day before yesterday and she told him the whole story.”

Susan’s eyes widened. “Lady Lydia told Miss Lambe she was engaged and she in turn told
Charlotte. They both assumed it was to your brother. Samuel, we must tell him right away!
She is leaving to go to her sister in Ireland this very morning!”

*****

Samuel burst through the front doors of Heyrick Park, Susan right behind him. “Xander!” he
shouted. “Xander!”

Mrs. Wheatley hurried from the hall. “What on earth is it, Sir?”

“Mrs. Wheatley, where is my brother?”

Augusta and Leo entered from the other hall. “He went to the stables about an hour ago,”
Augusta replied.

Samuel hastily knelt before his niece. Time was of the essence. “Leo, how fast can you run?”

*****

The entire Parker family gathered outside Trafalgar House to see her off, the children
wrapped around her waist in tears as they pleaded for her to stay once more.

“Goodbye, Charlotte,” Mary said tenderly, her eyes bright. “Do let us know when you are
safely arrived.”

She nodded quickly. “It will be some days before I reach Ireland, but I shall write as soon as I
get there.”
Arthur handed her a package wrapped carefully in cloth and string. “I packed a seed cake for
your journey.” He handed her another package. “And a pork pie.”

Charlotte laughed. He surely was the most thoughtful of men. “That is kind of you indeed,
Arthur.”

“Please send our warmest regards to your sister and Captain Fraser,” Tom added.

“Of course.”

Mary grasped her free hand one last time. “We will miss you, my dear.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She would miss the Parkers as much as her family back in
Willingden. Their kindness and generosity knew no bounds and she would forever be grateful
to them. “And I will miss you. More than I have words to say.”

She climbed into the waiting carriage quickly. Delaying her departure would only make it
harder to leave. As the wheels began to move, she waved to them all out of the window one
last time, waiting until they were out of sight before she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

*****

Xander handed Hannibal’s reins to the stable master. His morning ride had been brief,
offering him little reprieve from his thoughts.

“Papa! Papa!”

He turned to see his daughter running towards him, her chest heaving. “What is it, Leo?”

She gasped for breath. “Uncle says to…bring Hannibal…to the house…as fast as you can!”
She inhaled deeply. “Miss Heywood is leaving!”

Xander frowned, confused. He needed no further reminders of her imminent departure. “Yes,
Leo. Miss Heywood is returning home to be married.”

Leo shook her head. “No Papa, she’s not getting married. You must hurry!”

Not getting married?

Xander didn’t understand exactly what Leo was trying to say but he latched onto her words
with the last shred of his remaining hope. “Ellis!” he shouted to the stablemaster, “Bring
Hannibal back, quickly!”

He grasped the reins and mounted Hannibal, reaching down to his daughter. “Come on Leo.”

With a wide grin on her face, she slid in front of him. He wrapped his right arm around her
and dug his heels into Hannibal, kicking him into a quick trot, heading back to the house.

Samuel, Lady Susan, Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley were all standing in front of the house as
he pulled up on the reins. “Someone please explain what’s going on,” he demanded.
Samuel reached up, taking Leo from his arms. “Miss Heywood is no longer engaged to be
married. She is leaving Sanditon for Ireland as we speak.”

His heart lurched in his chest. “Why wouldn’t she have told me she called off her wedding?”
he demanded. Was that what she had come to tell him? “Why is she going to Ireland ?”

“She believes you are engaged to Lady Lydia,” Samuel explained. “She is leaving this very
morning. You must hurry and stop the carriage.”

His head was spinning.

It made no sense that she thought he was engaged to Lady Lydia . Had she meant to tell him
she was no longer betrothed and then changed her mind because she thought him already
betrothed to someone else?

“Uncle!” Augusta broke through his thoughts. “Please hurry! You do not wish to let her leave
again!”

He looked at the faces of his family. Each one eager and happy, wide smiles mingled with
urgent expressions.

“She loves you, Alexander,” Lady Susan nodded at him. “Go to her.”

“Papa, go!”

He looked to Mrs. Wheatley, his devoted friend all these years, the closest thing to a mother
he’d had since he was a small child. She had always been his confidante, his voice of reason
and kindness. “Another chance?”

“Life affords so few, Xander,” she nodded encouragingly. “Do not waste it.”

*****

Charlotte had managed to compose herself by the time the carriage left the outskirts of
Sanditon but the dull ache in her threatened to return as she saw the view of the sea once
again from the top of the cliffs.

How many times has she walked here, searching her heart for the answer as to just where her
future lay and hoping the waves below would somehow tell her the words she longed to hear?

A change to the motion of the carriage made her aware that the carriage was slowing. She
craned her neck, trying to see out the windows as they came to a stop in the middle of the
road, directly at the top of the cliffs. Confused, she opened the door and climbed out,
meaning to question the driver as to why they’d stopped.

Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw him sitting astride Hannibal before it plummeted
once more into her stomach. He dismounted and began to walk towards her. With the wind
whipping through his hair and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, baring his
forearms, the sight of him was arresting. But he could not possibly be there for her. After all,
he was engaged to Lady Lydia.
“Mr. Colbourne!” she called out to him.

He strode towards her. “You didn’t tell me you had called off your wedding.” His voice was
raised to carry across the distance between them.

“I didn’t think it would be of concern.”

He came to a stop. “Nothing could be of greater concern.” She had heard that tone before,
firm and brooking no argument.

She was growing more confused by the second. Why must he prolong her agony? Could he
not just let her leave? “Even though you’re engaged to Lady Lydia?”

“Well there you are mistaken,” he assured her confidently. “It seems for some time Lady
Lydia has been conducting a secret courtship in defiance of her mother. It is him she is to
marry, not me.”

The meaning of his words slowly wound their way through the fog of confusion and
heartache. “Then you…” The words stuck in her throat as she dared to allow hope to rise.

“I’m at liberty to marry whomsoever I choose,” he insisted. “As it seems are you.” He closed
the remaining distance between them, so close that she could fall into his arms. The
expression on his face held nothing but love for her. Tears began to fill her eyes as her heart
pounded in her ears.

“You bewitched me from the very first moment we met,” he confessed, the words tumbling
out of him as though he could not possibly contain them any longer. “And ever since my
affections have not wavered. Indeed they’ve only grown deeper with every second that I’ve
spent in your company. I cannot imagine how fathomless they will be once we’ve shared a
lifetime together.” His voice wavered at the last, filled with emotion as he too was overcome.

She found herself caught somewhere between laughing and crying tears of joy. Xander raised
his hand to her cheek, a look of wonder on his face, as though he too could not quite believe
what was happening. They collided in a kiss, joy and relief crashing into them like the waves
that pounded the shore below. A dam of pent up emotions had been released, his arm bracing
her, holding her firmly in place else she might fly away on a gust of wind.

He pulled away gently and wiped her tears with his thumb, their eyes locking for a long
moment before she slid her arms around him, pressing her cheek against his chest. They
clung to each other tightly until their hearts finally slowed in unison. When she at last looked
up at him they both smiled, laughing weakly together in disbelief. He pressed his cheek to
hers once more, his whiskers deliciously rough against her skin. The words he murmured
softly into her ear sent her heart soaring into the sky.

“I love you, Charlotte.”

Chapter End Notes

I can't believe we're essentially at the end of the show! But that doesn't mean we're done
because there are still two more scenes with lots of time in between to fill. So I'll be
back, completely off script and I'm so excited to be free!

Thank you all for the comments and kudos each week. They are all very much
appreciated!

Lastly - because I brought it up and a couple of you asked for it - here's my admittedly
controversial (but completely logical) take on the Leo/Augusta/Lucy/Twin Paradox
where yes, they are actually twins and yes, Lucy was actually young when she got
married.

Ready? - Lucy's twin was not Augusta's birth mother but rather the mother who raised
her and of her heart. I know, I KNOW! But hear me out...It was very common for
women to die in childbirth at this time. Up to 20% of women died either in childbirth or
immediately following. So if Augusta's birth mother died and her father remarried
Lucy's twin when she was around 16-17 and Augusta was around 4-5, then she would
have been the only mother that Augusta knew. And we all know that adoptive parents
are just as much parents as those that give birth. Lucy could have married at 21, had Leo
at 22 and the math works.

But she looked like Lucy you say? Well, the only one who said that was Lennox and he's
not exactly a reliable source. He would have said anything to make Xander angry. Also,
it was quite common for relatives to marry when someone died so who's to say Lucy and
her twin weren't related to Augusta's birth mom...say a cousin, perhaps?

Okay, don't @ me with harsh comments. After all, I did admit it's a controversial theory,
but a theory nonetheless!
 The Future Mrs. Colbourne
Chapter Summary

Our happy couple have a much-needed conversation.

Chapter Notes

It's "Profoundly" 2.0: Aries Unchained! We're 100% off scripted content! Let's see if I
can hack this!

No, I do not actually write full chapters this fast. The majority of this chapter was
written months ago. I have some more stuff in the hopper but I don't necessarily expect
to keep the same pace up.

We also now enter the world of "was I subconsciously influenced by another fanfic I
read?" so I have to add that any similarities to the works of my fellow writers is
completely unintentional and coincidental. There are many amazing post-HEA stories
out there and I've read almost all of them and I will do my best to be 100% original at all
times but I cannot remember them all so if I step on any toes, please accept my humble
apology! I have mad respect for all of the writers out there!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The Future Mrs. Colbourne

A sudden thump to the back of his shoulder nearly made Xander lose his balance.
Instinctively he tightened his arms around Charlotte so she wouldn’t fall backwards. Her eyes
widened and she gripped his arms in surprise a brief moment before a broad smile spread
across her face. The soft nuzzling in his ear that followed would have given the perpetrator
away, even if he had not already known. Tired of being ignored, Hannibal had taken it upon
himself to remind them that they were not alone.

Raising his hand to Hannibal’s muzzle, he gently pushed the horse away. “Yes, I know.
We’ve stood here too long, haven’t we?” He looked past Charlotte towards the carriage
drivers who had been witness to their entire encounter. The wind had prevented them from
hearing all that had been said between them, but their long embrace left little to the
imagination. Feeling quite embarrassed, he cleared his throat and pulled away from
Charlotte.
Charlotte’s cheeks reddened as she glanced back over her shoulder, following his gaze. “Oh.”
She looked at him helplessly and shrugged. “As you are the one that stopped the carriage, I’ll
leave it to you to explain.”

“How kind of you,” he said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. Shaking his head at her amused
expression, he left her and began walking towards the carriage, the drivers watching him with
smug enjoyment as he approached. Despite the cold wind, his face felt decidedly warm.
“Gentlemen, might I ask that you return Miss Heywood’s belongings to Trafalgar House and
inform the Parkers that Mr. Alexander Colbourne will see that she's returned safely later this
evening?”

“Of course, Sir,” the driver grinned broadly as he tipped his hat. “We’ll ensure the Parkers
have a full understanding of what happened to Miss Heywood.”

“I’m certain you will”, Xander muttered as the carriage turned and began the trip back into
town. No doubt the story would be all over town by the next morning.

Turning, he found himself frozen in place at the sight of Charlotte stroking Hannibal’s
muzzle, much as she had that morning at the stables all those months ago. He recalled feeling
unnerved by the intensity of his attraction to her that day. Now, he couldn’t imagine not
loving her. What a fool he’d been to deny it for so long. The months of agony were over, and
they need never be parted again. He had not thought it was possible to ever feel such a sense
of rightness to his world again. She’d upended his very existence the moment she’d walked
into his study and somehow put all of the broken pieces of his life back into place. For the
first time in his adult life, he felt whole again.

A smile spread across his face when he reached her. He took Hannibal’s reins in his hand,
stroking the horse’s neck. “I sent the carriage back to the Parkers’ with your cases and told
the driver to tell them I would ensure you returned this evening,” he raised a brow
questioningly. “I hope that’s acceptable to you?”

Charlotte nodded, “Of course. I know the Parkers will be happy to have me stay with them as
long as I need to. Mary will understand what has happened.” She shivered as a gust of wind
circled them.

“We should get off the cliffs,” he offered his free hand to her. The wind was not so bad
further inland, and they would be warmer. Having left his coat behind at the stables, he would
appreciate even the small difference being out of the wind would provide.

They walked in silence, each lost in their own thoughts for the morning had turned out very
differently than either of them had expected. Some distance into the estate, Xander guided
them under the protection of the trees. She looked at him questioningly as he stopped and tied
Hannibal’s reins to a tree.

“I thought we might speak before we go back to the house,” he explained. “The girls will be
so excited to see you and Samuel and Lady de Clemente are there as well. It…might be
overwhelming for a bit when they see us together. So much has happened in just a short
amount of time, and we haven’t really been able to speak freely to one another since you
returned. I believe we have much to discuss.”
“I certainly cannot argue with you on that,” she readily agreed, her eyes laughing at the
understatement.

“I hate to deprive you of an opportunity to argue with me,” he put on his most apologetic
face. “However, I’m sure you will find some other point to argue about soon enough.”

She narrowed her eyes at his teasing. “Are you mocking me?”

“Would I do such a thing, Charlotte?” he asked innocently, taking up her hand once more in
his, leading her to a fallen log, indicating she should sit as he straddled the log, facing her.

He looked down at their joined hands and frowned. He could not tolerate having even that
slightest of barriers between them any longer. He turned her hand over and unbuttoned her
glove, gently pulling each finger free. Her breath caught as their bare hands touched,
silencing any protest she might have voiced. Knowing that he had such an effect on her gave
him an undue amount of satisfaction. Reaching for her other hand, he removed that glove as
well, his thumb tracing a circle on the back of her hand. Deciding there was no other place
for him to put them, he tucked them into his waistcoat.

Charlotte looked up at the tree above them. “This is Leo’s tree. Where she was hiding the day
that you helped me look for her.”

“I always thought of it as my tree,” he gazed up at the familiar branches. “I used to come here
as a boy and sit in this tree for hours. I showed it to Leo a couple of years ago, before
Augusta came to live with us.” He looked back to find her smiling at him. “I knew this was
likely to be where she was when she went missing that day.”

“You let me believe that she could have been anywhere! I was so worried!”

“You would never have found her on your own,” he admitted, “and I had this inexplicable
need to be with you. I believe I was already falling in love with you that day, but I didn’t
know it yet.”

“Hannibal,” she smiled, her brown eyes soft.

“It was more than that, but yes. I saw you in a new light that day. I was already intrigued by
you from the very start though. I saw how you’d engaged Leonora and were trying so hard
with Augusta and even with me.” He looked around them. “This is where you asked to share
your observations about me. Although I was surprised you bothered to ask considering you’d
shared your observations quite freely before then without seeking my permission,” he teased.

“I shouldn’t have been so hard on you,” Charlotte flushed at the memories of chastising him
so freely on more than one occasion.

“No,” he shook his head. “Your observations weren’t without merit and I more than deserved
them. I wasn’t a good father or uncle back then. I wasn’t even a good human being. I’d let
myself become consumed by my own guilt to the detriment of all those around me. It took
you to make me see that I was keeping Augusta and Leo from living the lives they deserved.”
He raised a hand to her cheek. “When I told you that you had brought light back into our
lives, I truly meant it.”

“You said something that day under this tree that troubled me,” Charlotte remembered. “You
said that perhaps in time I would come to realize that it was for the best that the girls not
know you. It saddened me to think that you truly believed that.”

Xander ducked his head, his eyes fixed on their entwined fingers. “After Lucy died, I blamed
myself. I became convinced that I would only cause damage to those around me and those I
cared about would be better off not getting too close to me as I would only cause them pain.”

She squeezed his hand. “You know that’s not true. Look at how much you mean to Leo and
Augusta, Mrs. Wheatley and Samuel. And me.”

He nodded slowly before finally looking back up at her. “You told me something else that
day under this tree. You said you admired your father above all men.”

“I remember.”

He swallowed hard. “I hope…that one day…I can only hope that one day you admire me in
such a way.”

“You have already earned my admiration,” she insisted. “For what you did for Georgiana, for
the people of Old Town, for the school when you knew you would receive nothing in return.”

“I knew it would make you happy. After what I did…I owed you that much at least.”

She shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything. I have already forgiven you.”

He met her eyes. “I owe you an apology.”

She stood abruptly, walking a short distance away, leaving him feeling suddenly empty. He
winced, realizing that the words he’d spoken were all too familiar. Her fingers twisted
together as she seemed to struggle with herself. Finally she turned back to him. “What did he
say to you that day?” she asked. “Colonel Lennox?”

*****

He looked at her, surprised that she’d made the connection between her dismissal and his last
conversation with Lennox. “How…?”

Charlotte knew they’d discuss that day eventually; she just hadn’t thought it would be so
soon. Still, she supposed it was better to address it now so they could both move past it.
“After I returned to Willingden, I was so hurt and angry, but I couldn’t stop thinking about
why you said what you had…over and over again. I realized that everything changed that day
at the camp. It was the only possibility that made any sense. You went back to speak with him
and then suddenly…you regretted everything that had happened between us.”

He stood, inhaling and exhaling slowly. “I allowed my fears to overwhelm me. I do not…and
never did…regret the time we spent together. I only regret that I lied to you and hurt you.”
“Tell me what he said,” she pressed again.

His hands clenched tightly into fists. “He…asked me if I could trust myself not to fail you as
I had Lucy.”

Her eyes closed as the impact of that vile man’s words sunk in. Lennox had aimed his final
blow exactly where Xander was most vulnerable. His greatest fear was that he would
somehow cause her to lose faith in him, to stop loving him, to regret ever tying herself to
him. So he had pushed her away to keep himself from destroying her. “You thought you were
protecting me. From yourself.”

“Yes. I had hoped that whatever you might have felt for me would still be so new and
insignificant that you would forget me quite easily.”

She looked at him, horrified that he could have thought so little of himself. “And what of
your own feelings?”

“They did not matter. If I had failed you, it would have killed me, Charlotte.” The expression
on his face was that of a man defeated.

“Your feelings matter to me. And you love me too much to let yourself fail me. And I love
you too much to let you believe you ever could. I understand now why you pushed me away.
I should have pressed you for an explanation then. Perhaps I could have convinced you that
your past would not repeat itself with me.”

“No, you bear no blame,” he insisted forcefully, repeating the words she’d once said to him. “
I am responsible for my actions. I know now that I should have told you of my fears. I should
have let you make that decision for yourself. Instead, I pushed you away and hurt both of us.
And I nearly lost you forever.”

She ran to him, nearly knocking him over as she slid her arms around him and pressed her
cheek against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and they stood there for a long
moment, just holding onto one another. “We’ve both made decisions that hurt the other. Let
us set those aside and focus now on the future. We cannot continue to dwell on the past if we
are to truly forgive and be happy.”

“I love you,” he murmured against her ear and a shiver went down her spine. She would
never tire of hearing him say those words.

She stroked his cheek and tried to convey everything she felt to him with her eyes for words
would never be enough. “I love you, Alexander Colbourne. More than I thought was ever
possible.”

He kissed her then, a slow, tender kiss that made her weak in the knees. They were both left
clinging to each other in an effort to stay standing. “You leave me quite at a loss for words,
Miss Heywood.”

“It’s Miss Heywood now? What happened to Charlotte?” she quipped.

He tucked one of her curls behind her ear. “An old habit that I will endeavor to break,” he
admitted.

“I did not ask. Would you prefer I call you Alexander instead of Xander as Samuel does?”

He smiled that little smile of his at the sound of her saying his name. “No. I have been
Xander my entire life. Sam called me Xander when he was small and my mother and Mrs.
Wheatley started to as well. I was only Alexander to the governess or my father when I was
bad.”

“Ah, so I shall call you Xander when I am happy and Alexander when I am angry with you,”
she laughed, “but only in private, Mr. Colbourne.”

“I hope to never hear the name Alexander again,” he chuckled. “And hopefully you shall be
Mrs. Colbourne very soon.”

She realized something then that startled her. In all of his beautiful, heart-felt words, one
thing had been missing. “You did not ask me to marry you!”

Xander raised one eyebrow. “Not in so many words, no.”

Charlotte blinked at him. “Not in any words! You told me you loved me, that your affections
grow deeper with every moment we’re together.” He nodded, a smile on his face. “You said
we would spend a lifetime together…but you never asked if I would marry you.” He
continued to smile, not disputing anything she said. She was torn between finding it
endearing and absolutely frustrating. “You just assumed I’d marry you without even asking
me?” She tried to pull away from him, suddenly irritated by his presumption.

He would not release her, his strong arms holding her tight. “Charlotte, as certain as the sun
will rise tomorrow, I will ask you to marry me. I needed to apologize to you first and ensure
you understood the reason for my actions. I would not have you feel that I wasn’t honest with
you after everything that’s happened.”

“You assume I’ll agree?” she countered, although her annoyance was already fading with his
promise.

“Are you saying no?” He seemed overly amused at her consternation.

She frowned. “Well, no…but… you shouldn’t just assume I’ll say yes without asking me !”

“You ended your engagement after I had already declared my intentions to you,” he pointed
out. “You returned my kiss when I declared my affections for you again . You accompanied
me here quite willingly. I do not think I assumed anything. If anything, you made
assumptions about me.”

“When?” she demanded, frowning at his sudden accusation.

“You assumed I was engaged to Lady Lydia,” he reminded her solemnly, his smile now gone.
“How could you possibly think I would tell you I loved you, ask you to stay in Sanditon and
then propose to Lady Lydia mere days later? You honestly believe I could do that? That I
could somehow forget how I felt about you and ask another woman to marry me without
another thought?”

“Lady Lydia confided to Georgiana that she was engaged! She told me herself that her
mother was determined the two of you would be matched. You invited her here for tea. And
you said you would consider building a chapel on your estate if the opportunity presented
itself when she suggested it! I had no reason to believe that she wasn’t engaged to you!”

“No reason other than knowing that I could never do such a thing,” he said quietly, his eyes
boring into hers with an intensity that sent her pulse racing. “Or do you honestly believe I
could be so fickle with my affections when I spent the last decade convincing myself that I
was not worthy of being loved?”

Heat flushed her cheeks. “I have seen men do worse things,” she reminded him, an edge to
her voice she regretted immediately.

He gave her no warning before capturing her mouth with a ferocity that caught her off guard.
Any resistance she could have possibly mounted melted away. His hands pressed her to him
so she could feel his heart pounding against hers. Instantly, she responded. Her arms grasped
at him, her fingers weaving into his hair as she met his kiss. The intensity of it made it clear
to her that he was claiming her at that moment, making it known that she belonged to him
and he, in turn, to her. When the kiss finally ended, they were each gasping for breath. Their
foreheads pressed together; eyes closed as they fought to regain their equilibriums.

“Charlotte, are you just determined to argue with me for the sake of arguing?”

“I’m not arguing with you,” she muttered.

He began to laugh, the feeling of it rumbling through his chest and into her body. His head
dropped to her shoulder as he shook with amusement. Unable to resist, she joined him as
laughter bubbled out of her. He squeezed her in his arms, lifting her feet off the ground as the
laughter began to ebb.

“You may someday be the death of me,” he whispered against her neck before he pressed a
kiss just below her ear, “but I shall enjoy every moment.”

She trembled at his touch, in awe that he had such power over her. “As will I,” she sighed.

The distant rumble of thunder growled overhead, reminding them of where they were. “We
should head back to the house before we are caught in a downpour,” Xander said, setting her
back down.

Once more, he gathered Hannibal’s reins in one hand and took her hand with the other. They
walked through the meadow in companionable silence, simply enjoying knowing the other
was there and they were together and always would be. After some distance, Charlotte looked
up to find him gazing down at her. He smiled and raised her hand to his lips, kissing her
knuckles. She tucked her hand into his arm, leaning into him. Neither could imagine possibly
being any happier.
As they approached the house, he veered off towards the stables as rain drops began to fall
softly around them. Xander raised his fingers to his mouth and let out a piercing whistle, just
as he had that day on the cliffs when she’d seen him with Luna. A groom appeared out of the
stable and waved his hand in acknowledgement. Xander dropped the reins and clicked at
Hannibal who quickly trotted off towards the stable. Taking her hand in his, they ran towards
the house just as the sky opened above them.

*****

Thunder rumbled in the distance as Mrs. Wheatley stepped outside. She was growing
concerned. Xander had still not returned and the sky was getting darker with each passing
minute. If he’d been unable to stop the carriage carrying Miss Heywood…or worse had failed
to convince her to stay in Sanditon…he could be out anywhere on the grounds trying to chase
away his emotions. After watching him struggle after he’d sent her away months ago, she
feared that his heart would never recover again if Miss Heywood was lost to him forever.

Fat raindrops began to fall and she quickly moved inside the doorway, her concern growing
further as the rain rapidly grew heavier. Just then, she heard the sound of the back gate
opening and her heart swelled as Miss Heywood and Xander appeared, running quickly
towards the house. Opening the door, she ushered them hastily inside.

“Miss Heywood, it is truly a pleasure to see you again,” she beamed with approval as Xander
fought to hide his smile.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley,” Miss Heywood squeezed her hand. “I’m very happy to be
back.”

She looked back and forth between the two of them, searching for some indication that her
return would soon be permanent. “And will you be staying this time?” she asked hopefully.

Xander looked at Miss Heywood, his brows raised in a silent question. “Yes, Mrs. Wheatley,
I believe I will,” she replied softly, her cheeks flushing.

Xander’s face lit up with the largest smile she’d ever seen.

“I’m so happy for you both,” she gave each of their arms a gentle squeeze. “We’ve all hoped
for such happy news for you both.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley,” Xander ducked his head, embarrassed at the attention.
“Frankly, I think we’re both relieved.”

Miss Heywood laughed. “ Very relieved.”

Smiling broadly, she reached for Miss Heywood’s coat. “Let me take your things. I’ll hang
your coat to dry. Mr. Colbourne, you seem to have misplaced your coat again, I see. You
should go and change out of those wet things. The girls, Mr. Samuel and Lady de Clemente
are just finishing their luncheon in the dining room.”
Xander shook his head, running his fingers through his damp hair. “I’ll be fine. And we won’t
be joining them in the dining room. We’ll be in the study and don’t wish to be disturbed.”

Mrs. Wheatley studied his face for a moment and then nodded. “I’ll bring you tea and
something to eat.”

It was clear that the two of them were having some long-needed discussions so she would let
it pass that they were locking themselves away in the study alone. She trusted Xander to be a
gentleman despite having caught them in an embrace once before. She had seen the way he’d
looked at Miss Heywood and knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her again after he’d sent
her away.

Moving quickly to the kitchens, she assembled a tray of sandwiches, fruit and cheese along
with a fresh pot of tea and two cups. She carried the tea tray to the study herself, knocking
and waiting a moment before entering.

Miss Heywood was standing before the fire, holding her dress out so the warmth of the
flames could dry away the dampness from the rain. Xander had removed his waistcoat,
hanging it over the back of his desk chair to dry and was in the process of removing his
cravat. She raised her eyebrows at him but he merely gave her an innocent shrug of his
shoulders. She shook her head at his state of undress and set the tea tray down on the table
between the chairs before the fire.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley,” Xander said.

“I’ll do my best to keep everyone away, Sir.”

She closed the door softly behind her, walking back into the hall. Her heart was full of joy for
Xander. Too long had he been living in the shadows, punishing himself for the circumstances
that led to his first wife’s infidelity and death. He deserved happiness after all these years and
she could not have asked for a better wife for him than Miss Heywood.

Sending up a silent prayer of thanks, Mrs. Wheatley headed towards the dining room to
check that the room had been cleared from luncheon. As she walked past the drawing room
doors, she noticed Samuel standing in front of one of the large windows, his hands clasped
behind his back as he watched the steady fall of rain outside. “Do you need anything, Mr.
Colbourne?”

Samuel turned to her, his eyes worried. “I’m growing concerned, Mrs. Wheatley. Do you
think I should go look for him?”

Pausing for a moment to ponder if Xander would approve, Mrs. Wheatley finally motioned
for him to follow her to the study door. She raised a finger to her lips and indicated he should
lean closer. They could hear Xander’s voice followed by a soft feminine one. Samuel’s eyes
widened and she shooed him back into the hall.

“They arrived when you were in the dining room and requested not to be disturbed,” she said
quietly. “They’ll come out when they’re ready.”
“What do you suppose they’re doing in there, Mrs. Wheatley?” Samuel grinned devilishly
and winked.

Despite being a grown man, his insinuation earned him a disapproving look. “I believe they
are finally truly talking to each other.”

A snort of laughter escaped him. “It’s about time.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more, Mr. Colbourne.”

*****

“Why are we hiding in your study?” Charlotte asked as she glanced around the room. He
sensed she too was recalling the last time she’d set foot in this room. A dark memory he
wanted to dispel as soon as possible.

“I wanted to bring you back here because this is where we first met. Where I first knew that
my life was never going to be the same again. Where I should have said what I really wanted
to say to you that day instead of sending you away and breaking both of our hearts.”

She gripped the back of the chair next to her, the memory of that day still all too strong for
both of them. “What would you have said?”

His hand trembled slightly as he touched her cheek. “That my day was incomplete if I didn’t
see you walk up the drive in the morning. That it was almost enough to know you were in the
house, to hear the sound of your voice, but that I craved the stolen moments we shared. That
after nearly a decade of self-recrimination, you made me feel alive again. That through some
miracle, I’d fallen in love with you. You amaze me each and every day. You are beauty and
kindness and intelligence and compassion. And even though I knew I would never be good
enough for you, I would promise to strive every day to become a better man if it meant you
would stay with me forever.”

She wiped hastily at the tears that were running down her cheeks. “Xander,” his name
escaped her lips as a sigh.

He pressed his forehead to hers. “Will you do me the honor of marrying me, Charlotte? My
life isn’t complete without you in it.”

She placed her hands on his cheeks. “You tried so hard to hide yourself but I saw your true
self long ago. And you proved to me that you are indeed a man who is worthy of being loved
a thousand times over. There is nothing I want more in this lifetime than to be your wife,
Alexander Colbourne.”

*****

After such an emotional morning, Xander felt exhausted. He pulled Charlotte down next to
him in the window seat and simply held her in his arms. She leaned her head on his shoulder,
neither of them speaking for some time.
“Should we not go tell your family and Lady Susan?” She eventually broke the silence. “Do
you not want to share our news with them? Surely they are wondering where you are by
now.”

“I’m in no rush to share the news yet,” he admitted. “The moment they see you, they will
know we’re to be married and ask a thousand questions. I’m afraid I’m quite the poor actor as
even Leo has been aware of my affections for you although that is most likely in no small
part due to Augusta enlightening her. You should have seen the lot of them standing outside
the house this morning shouting at me to chase after you.”

Charlotte laughed softly. “They care about you and want to see you happy.”

“They care about you as well,” he pointed out. “I am already far less enjoyable to be around
than Samuel in Leo and Augusta’s eyes. I shall now be lowered yet another rung on the
ladder when they learn you are to stay forever.”

“You have me to yourself for a bit longer then, Mr. Colbourne. What should we discuss? The
weather? Upcoming Society events? Shall I remind you how to hold a conversation?” Her
eyes sparkled as she teased him.

A question that had been nagging at him from the moment Leo had run to him outside the
stables jumped suddenly to the forefront of his mind. He glanced at the ring on his left hand
out of habit.

“What is it?” she asked, sitting up to look at him.

He raised his eyes. “May I ask what happened with Mr. Starling? What changed your mind?”
A shadow crossed her face. “I will understand if it’s too difficult,” he said hastily.

She shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just…I feel guilty about hurting Ralph.”

Xander met her eyes. “I’m sorry if it caused you pain to disappoint Mr. Starling. I know you
think highly of him. You’ve known him a long time?”

“I have known Ralph my entire life. His family and mine are close. Our parents had hoped
for our marriage since we were quite young. I did not want to marry Ralph,” she admitted,
“but I felt I had to honor my parents wishes and I knew that Ralph cared for me. I suppose I’d
hoped that over time I would grow to love Ralph the way that I thought I should. But after
our trip to Falmouth and then seeing Tom so devastated at the thought of losing Mary…I
knew that I couldn’t marry Ralph when my heart belonged to you.”

He thought back to the night outside of Trafalgar House. He’d thought that it would be the
last time he’d see her and had stood there trying to memorize her face and convey to her with
his eyes just how much he loved her. When she’d grasped his fingers, he’d told himself that it
was her final goodbye and not some small sign to give him hope. His heart could not have
handled such a thing. Now, knowing that she had made her decision to end her engagement
that night, he kicked himself for all of the misunderstandings that had nearly led them to
being separated once more.
Charlotte sighed, the light in her eyes dimming a little. “I will need to write to my parents and
my sister. Alison and her husband are expecting me in Ireland. They will all be quite
surprised by my change in plans. I’m afraid my parents have been more than understanding
about me calling off my wedding to Ralph, but they may have reservations about me entering
into another engagement so soon.”

He nodded slowly. “Do they have any knowledge that it is to be to your former employer?”
He could only assume her father would be less than pleased at the thought as it would lead to
much speculation and gossip about the wealthy farmer and his governess.

She shook her head. “I didn’t know when I ended my engagement to Ralph if there was going
to be a future for us, so I did not mention you. But Ralph may have said something to them if
he’s spoken to my father.” Her words were tinged with sadness. “He stepped aside, knowing I
was in love with you even though he loved me as well.”

Guilt gripped at Xander’s gut. She had felt she had no other options because of him. “If I
hadn’t sent you away, you never would have agreed to marry him.”

Charlotte reached out and took his hand, stopping him from twisting his ring. “Don’t say that,
please. You aren’t to blame for my engagement to Ralph. You agreed to let the past go.”

He nodded silently in agreement, staring across the room into the fire. He knew he had to do
a better job of letting go of the past. Charlotte had taught him that but sometimes it wasn’t
easy when the shadows of his past had been his constant companions for so many years. He
squeezed her hand gently. “I will endeavor to set my sights on the future with you and Leo
and Augusta. I promise.”

“And Samuel?” she gave him a knowing smile.

He sighed dramatically. “And Samuel,” he agreed somewhat grudgingly. “If I must.”

Charlotte laughed. “I do hope you and Samuel learn to put your differences aside. For Leo
and Augusta’s sake if not your own. I am grateful every day that I have such a loving family.
I only want you and the girls to know that kind of joy.” Her smile faltered. “I hope that my
parents continue to be the kind and loving parents I’ve known my entire life after all of this
worry I’m causing them.”

“I would like to meet them if you are amenable. Perhaps we can take Leo and Augusta and
visit them in a week or two?”

“You would do that?” The worry on her face softened somewhat.

“Of course. I would expect any man that wanted to marry Leo or Augusta to meet us,
wouldn’t you?” Xander stood, pulling her to her feet. “Now, come,” he led her behind his
desk, holding out the chair for her. “Sit here and write your letters. I can see that it’s already
wearing on you so best to get it over with so the burden can be lifted.” Charlotte sat as he
opened a drawer and pulled out paper for her. “Ink and quill are there,” he pointed to the left
side of the desk.
She blinked, touched that he would allow her to use his desk. It had always been a divider
between them when she’d visited him in this room, governess on one side, master of the
estate on the other. She felt another barrier between them fall.

Xander picked up a book from the stack sitting on the ladder steps and sat back down before
the fire. He gave her an encouraging smile. “Don’t mind me, I’ll not interrupt you.”

She was struck by the memory of her first meeting with him when she had been on the other
side of the desk in that same chair and he was sitting behind it. “Seven fifteens?” she raised
her eyebrows at him.

His smile widened to a grin. “A hundred and five.”

She moved the ink to the right side of the desk and picked up the quill, smoothing a hand
over the paper before her, feeling somewhat buoyed by simply having him near her. Dipping
the quill in the ink, she began to write.

*****

When Mrs. Wheatley went to bring the new couple a fresh pot of tea, she entered the study to
a scene of quiet domesticity that, even in its simplicity, tugged at her heart.

Xander sat in front of the fire, an open book in hand, his reading interrupted by her quiet
knock at the door. Miss Heywood however was sitting at his desk, her eyes focused on the
paper in front of her as her hand moved over the page quickly. In all of her years at Heyrick
Park, she’d only seen two people sit at that desk, Xander and his father before him.

Miss Heywood put down the quill with a sigh. “That’s done,” she said, her voice resigned. “I
will need to get these letters out as soon as possible.”

Xander stood, lifting the luncheon tray from the table so Mrs. Wheatley could set the tea tray
down in its place. “The sealing wax is in that box on the desk,” he said with a tip of his chin.
“Mrs. Wheatley, could you have Peter take Miss Heywood’s letters to town right away? Have
the appropriate amount for express delivery billed to my account, please.”

She took the luncheon tray from him, “Of course, Sir.”

“That’s not necessary, Xander,” Miss Heywood protested as she used the Colbourne seal on
the two letters she’d written. “I can take them first thing in the morning. And you needn’t pay
for the cost. They are my letters, not yours.”

“Charlotte, what’s mine is now yours. Let me send the letters.”

“Really, I can’t ask you to do that,” she insisted.

“You need not ask. There’s no reason why your sister or your parents should pay for the
letters upon receipt when we can do so. You are the future Mrs. Colbourne and your name
will be on every account in Sanditon as soon as I can arrange it, just as Mrs. Wheatley’s is,”
his voice was gentle but firm. “What matter is it if it’s tomorrow or in a month? You are
already part of this family and this estate even if your name has not yet changed.” His eyes
locked with hers, indicating with a look that he would not be swayed.

Mrs. Wheatley watched as a silent conversation happened between the two of them, Miss
Heywood determined to be independent and Xander determined to help ease her load where
he could. After a long moment, Miss Heywood’s expression softened as she silently accepted
his offer.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley,” Miss Heywood said gratefully, relinquishing the letters.

Xander sat back down in his chair, crossed his legs and re-opened his book. “Thank you for
the tea, Mrs. Wheatley.”

*****

The door closed behind Mrs. Wheatley, leaving them alone once more. Xander had settled
back into his chair, book in hand, she suspected to allow her time to gather her thoughts after
their silent confrontation a few moments before. She looked down at the crested Colbourne
sealing stamp in her hand, the engraved “C” surrounded by oak leaves. The same crest that
appeared on the signet ring he wore. The crest that she would soon use as his wife.

Setting the stamp aside, she moved to the window that looked out over the drive and wrapped
her arms across her chest as she looked out at the falling rain.

You are the future Mrs. Colbourne.

His words echoed in her head. She was to be mistress of Heyrick Park. The task seemed
suddenly quite daunting.

Of course in theory, she had realized that as his wife, she would have all of the rights and
responsibilities associated with the mistress of the estate. An estate that far surpassed the size
of her family’s small farm. She’d also known that despite the estate having once been in
enormous debt according to Samuel, it was now thriving. One could not miss the Heyrick
Farms wagons in Sanditon delivering milk, cheese, cream and butter to the shops and tea
room. The estate even had a large greenhouse that provided produce and flowers throughout
the year. And she’d learned from the staff during her time as governess that the tenants of the
estate were all well taken care of and assistance readily provided by the master when needed.
During years of hardship, Xander had ensured that no one went without.

Despite the obvious success of the estate, she had never seen any sign of extravagance in
Heyrick Park, with the possible exception of a near endless supply of books. Xander, it
seemed, continued to keep the estates finances in check, no doubt from a determination to not
follow in the steps of his father. The family and staff all lived comfortably, wanting for
nothing. But the house itself required quite a lot of upkeep. With so many rooms, there was a
lot to maintain…even if most of the rooms were not in use by the small family of three who
had not entertained in years. Maintenance of the house and grounds required a hefty staff,
even if Xander kept the number to a minimum.
Certainly, she knew that Xander and Mrs. Wheatley had been running the estate to great
effect for many years without a mistress. Would she even be needed? She did not want to
change anything and certainly did not want to replace Mrs. Wheatley in any way. The
housekeeper was a force to be reckoned with and she certainly did not need her help or
interference. Yet she also could not see herself living a life of luxury with no real purpose
other than hosting dinners and accepting callers.

And what of her dream of opening a school? Xander had insisted that his investment in
Sanditon’s future included her longed-for plan to open a school for the boys and girls of the
town. Without any indication that she would end her engagement and remain in Sanditon, he
had fulfilled her dream for no other reason than to provide for the children of Sanditon
because he respected her and her thoughts and opinions. Could she still teach when she was
helping to run a large, successful estate? Would she have to put aside her dream because
she’d chosen to follow her heart?

She felt his presence as he moved to stand in the window next to her, leaning against the
corner of the wall. He reached out his arm, slipping it around her waist and tugging her
gently to him. Gratefully, she leaned into him, accepting his support. “I am the one who gets
caught in my thoughts, not you,” he murmured and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“Where are your thoughts? Are you worried about the letters?”

She shook her head, turning to face him. She slipped her arms around his waist, laying her
head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face to her hair,
breathing her in. He waited in silence, allowing her to answer in her own time.

“I am a little overwhelmed,” she admitted after a minute or two. “The Mistress of Heyrick
Park is a daunting title.”

He tightened his arms around her. “When my father died and Samuel refused the inheritance,
I was overwhelmed as well.”

“You had every right to be overwhelmed,” she reminded him. “You had a much more
difficult task. Samuel told me the estate was mired in debt when your father died. And to be
the second son who never thought he’d be inheriting…I can only imagine how you must have
felt.” She did not add that he’d also been dealing with a new wife who did not want to be
mistress of his newly inherited estate.

“My challenges do not diminish yours, Charlotte. You do not need to hide your feelings of
being overwhelmed from me. I have every confidence in your abilities to do anything you set
your mind to. I’ve never met anyone so determined. After all, you bent me to your will quite
easily. But that doesn’t give me any illusions that you do not have your own reservations at
times.” He stroked the nape of her neck with his thumb. “It will take some time to become
comfortable in your new role but know this, I will always be there for you when you need
me.”

*****

Mrs. Wheatley ensured everything was in place for dinner before ringing the bell,
purposefully keeping an extra place setting aside so Xander’s secret would not be revealed.
 She smoothed a hand over her dress and drew a deep breath before walking to the study. She
knew Xander would be nervous as he and Miss Heywood finally announced their plans to the
family. She knocked softly on the door before entering, though they would have heard the
bell ringing throughout the house.

They were standing together next to his desk, Miss Heywood skillfully tying Xander’s cravat
as he buttoned his waistcoat with his chin in the air. It warmed her heart to see the obvious
affection and the level of comfort between them after so many months of them trying to hide
it.

“Do I pass muster, Mrs. Wheatley?” he asked, his eyes shining as they met hers.

She’d never seen him look so happy. “I’ve brought your coat which you’d left down at the
stables this morning. And Miss Heywood appears to be quite adept at tying a cravat, Sir.”

“I’ve five younger brothers at home, Mrs. Wheatley,” Miss Heywood explained, standing
back to check her work, “I’ve plenty of experience.” She looked down at her own dress.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have another dress to change into. I feel a bit worse for wear after
running through the rain and poorly dressed for dinner.”

“You’re beautiful just as you are,” Xander said as he slipped on his coat. “No one is going to
be looking at your dress.”

Miss Heywood’s eyes widened as she looked at her with surprise. “Mrs. Wheatley, have you
ever heard him say such things?” she teased. “Did you know he had it in him all this time?”

“I did tell you there was more to Alexander Colbourne than you could ever imagine, Miss
Heywood,” she reminded her as she bit back a smile, her heart swelling with pride. He had
come very far indeed.

He looked between the two of them. “You’ve been discussing me behind my back, Mrs.
Wheatley?” he asked, obviously surprised. “When was this?”

“Mrs. Wheatley was defending you during one of my many moments of exasperation with
you,” Miss Heywood replied deftly, declining to bring up the aftermath of the garden party
and dampening his spirits.

“I’ve no doubt there were many of those,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. He held his arm
out, indicating that Miss Heywood should proceed before him out of the study. “I believe
we’re holding up dinner.”

She followed them into the hall towards the dining room doors, Miss Heywood tucking her
hand in the crook of his arm as they shared a smile. Xander paused before the doors, squared
his shoulders and drew in a deep breath.

“Brace yourself.”

Chapter End Notes

As always, thanks for the comments and kudos. I appreciate every single one of you.
 An Unexpected Evening
Chapter Summary

Our newly betrothed couple find that the announcement of their engagement doesn't go
quite as expected.

Chapter Notes

Any similarities to other fanfic stories are unintentional and purely coincidental.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

An Unexpected Evening

Samuel glanced towards the study as he herded Leo towards the dining room. The door
remained resolutely closed. He and Susan had spent all afternoon diligently keeping Leo and
Augusta as far away from the study as possible, a task that had proven not at all easy with a
voracious reader in search of a book from the adjoining library and a child who was used to
freely running throughout the house. A spirited game of hide and seek in the upper reaches of
the house had consumed most of the afternoon with Susan proving herself not only a willing
participant but surprisingly adept at hiding.

And now, as they all took their seats for dinner, the couple of the hour were frustratingly late.
He was very happy for them both but they were certainly taking their time in revealing their
news.

“What if Papa had to go all the way to Ireland?” Leo asked as Samuel held the chair for her.
“Would he even know where to find Miss Heywood?”

Samuel exchanged glances across the table with Susan. “I’m certain that your father has not
ridden all the way to Ireland, Leo,” he replied, holding the chair next to Leo’s out for
Augusta.

“He was not even wearing a coat, Leo,” Susan reminded her. “He would not ride all the way
to Ireland dressed only in his shirt sleeves.”

Augusta snorted, placing a slice of roast onto her plate before adding one to Leo’s. “You do
not know Uncle well enough yet, Lady Susan. He spends most of his days dressed as though
he was about to go out and milk the cows himself.”
“I should like to milk a cow,” Leo took on a rather fervent expression. “Do you think Papa
would show me how?”

“Now there’s an image I did not know I needed,” Samuel smirked, taking his seat next to
Susan. “Xander milking the cows himself. That really does sound like him. He was always
more comfortable with animals than people.”

“I cannot believe we are sitting here discussing Uncle milking cows when he chased after
Miss Heywood just this morning and still has not returned,” Augusta muttered to herself.

“You brought it up, Augusta,” Samuel pointed his knife at her. The conversation was indeed
ridiculous, but it was keeping Leo occupied. He glanced at the door expectantly. Whatever
was taking them so long?

“Didn’t grandfather teach you to milk cows, Uncle?” Leo asked.

Samuel snorted at the thought. “God no, Leo. Your grandfather wouldn’t have been caught
dead anywhere near the beasts. That was for the farm hands and the steward to deal with. He
was far too busy entertaining and…um…,” he suddenly remembered he was speaking to an
eight-year-old child, “yes, entertaining. He enjoyed spending time playing cards with his
friends, Leo.”

“Surely your brother does not actually milk the cows,” Susan shook her head, finding the
very idea ridiculous. “He strikes me as a fine gentleman managing a fine estate. He should be
very proud of Heyrick Park.” She placed her serviette in her lap. “And Leo, I’m certain that if
your father was planning on traveling to Ireland, he would have returned home first to tell
you and he would have most definitely put on his coat.”

“But he’s been gone all day,” Leo argued. “Where else would he be? You don’t think he and
Miss Heywood have gotten lost, do you? Should we go look for them?” Her face brightened
at the prospect of such an adventure.

“Absolutely not,” Augusta spooned potatoes onto her cousin’s plate. “You would only get
lost. Besides, they probably went back to Trafalgar House. That is where Miss Heywood was
staying after all.”

“I made it all the way to the militia camp by myself,” Leo said proudly.

“Militia camp?” Samuel asked, unsure if Leo was bringing one of her imagined adventures or
if she’d actually wandered off the grounds. If it was the latter, Xander would have most likely
had an apoplectic fit. “That sounds very exciting. When was this?”

Augusta rolled her eyes. “This past summer, just before Miss Heywood left. Leo ran off to
see the militia all on her own. Uncle and Miss Heywood went after her and the next day Miss
Heywood left.”

Samuel frowned. He would get to the root of the mystery of Charlotte’s unexpected departure
eventually. But something about Leo’s story sounded intriguing. “Why did you go to the
militia camp, Leo? You never told me about that.”
Leo swallowed a large bite of beef. “Papa brought Miss Heywood home from the ball with
him and Augusta the night before. They were in the drawing room alone and I heard them
talking about Colonel Lennox.”

“You were eavesdropping,” Augusta corrected, interrupting her. “When you should have been
in bed. They had something important to discuss that was none of your business. Uncle has
told you repeatedly that listening at doors is completely unacceptable behavior.”

Samuel exchanged a knowing look with Susan. Xander and Charlotte were alone in the
drawing room late at night? My, his brother had indeed changed in the years since he’d seen
him last. The mystery of the sudden end to Charlotte’s employment was growing more and
more interesting. “Go on Leo,” he prompted. “How did that lead to you running off to the
militia camp?”

“Perhaps we should discuss something else,” Susan suggested, shaking her head at him with
a warning look. “Your father would not wish you to share anything you might have overheard
between himself and Miss Heywood.”

“Perhaps Susan is right, Leo,” Samuel conceded reluctantly. “Let’s talk about something
else.”

Leo shrugged as she stabbed at an errant pea on her plate. “Papa said I misheard him
anyway,” she explained. “I thought he said that Colonel Lennox was my father, but Papa said
he only meant that he hadn’t been the father I deserved and that he’d do better. But then Miss
Heywood left and we were all sad and Papa stopped eating and sleeping for an entire week
even though Augusta said it was his fault she left.”

Samuel stared across the table at his niece, his fork hanging in the air. Augusta’s eyes had
gone quite wide and a quick glance at Susan told him that she too was more than a little
surprised by the revelations Leo had just made.

Oh, Xander, he thought, now would be the perfect time for you and Charlotte to make a
grand entrance.

*****

Despite the hours spent in the study appearing to be contentedly buried in a book while
Charlotte wrote her letters, Xander had done very little reading. One did not simply sit and
read about agricultural techniques and the latest crop rotation theories on the day you stopped
the woman you loved from traveling all the way to Ireland in the desperate hope that she
would finally agree to marry you. Instead, he’d spent a great deal of time reflecting with
wonder on the events of the morning and a smaller, but still significant, amount considering
the reaction they would receive from his family when they finally left the isolated cocoon of
the study.

So it was, that when the doors to the dining room opened, Xander had fully expected to have
to immediately defend Charlotte from an overly exuberant Leo while receiving heartfelt
congratulations from his brother, niece and Lady Susan. Instead, they were met with rather
strange looks on the faces of three of the table’s occupants while Leo took one look at he and
Charlotte standing together in the doorway and promptly burst into tears.

“Oh, Leo!” Charlotte cried, immediately rushing to her side. “Why are you crying? I thought
you would be happy to see me!” She looked up at him, as surprised by the unexpected
reaction as he was. Leo threw her arms around Charlotte and buried her face in her neck, the
sound of her sobs filling the otherwise silent room. She deftly scooped Leo into her arms and
slid into the now empty chair with the child on her lap. “Leo,” she said softly as she gently
rubbed her back, “whatever is wrong?”

Xander finally moved from where he’d been standing frozen in the doorway, crouching next
to Charlotte and stroking his daughter’s hair. “Come now, Leo. You should be celebrating.
Isn’t this what you wanted? For Charlotte to come back?”

He glanced helplessly around the table. Susan gave him a sympathetic smile while Samuel
looked as flabbergasted as he was. Between her muffled sobs, unintelligible sounds that he
assumed were words came from the area of Charlotte’s neck. He looked hopefully at
Charlotte for any indication she understood what Leo was saying.

“I believe they are happy tears. She said she is glad I’m back,” she interpreted. “Did I get that
right, Leo?” Leo nodded although her face remained hidden, her cries slowing into
shuddering breaths. More muffled words escaped her and Charlotte frowned, shaking her
head slightly. “Something that sounded like bird day? I’m not sure I entirely understood,
Leo.”

“Her birthday is in a few days,” Augusta said softly.

“Leo? Would you please turn so we can hear you better?” Xander asked gently. While still
concerned by her unexpected reaction, it appeared Leo was simply overwhelmed by seeing
Charlotte returned to them and was not truly upset.

“It’s perfectly fine to cry when you’re happy, Leo. Sometimes our feelings are just too strong
for us and we get overwhelmed with emotions. In fact, I cried happy tears just this morning.
I’d really like to hear what you’re saying so I can better understand.”

Leo turned her head and swiped at her cheeks, her eyes puffy and red. “I always wish for a
mother for my birthday because I’ve never had one,” she explained. “But it never comes true.
I thought maybe I had to be more…more…what’s the word, Augusta?”

“Specific?” she suggested gently.

She nodded. “Specific. This year, I was going to wish for Miss Heywood to be my mother
when I blew out my birthday candles. And now she’s here. None of my other wishes have
ever come true before.”

Xander looked at Charlotte over the top of Leo’s head. Happy tears filled her brown eyes
once more, threatening to fall. A glance at Augusta revealed her wiping her own cheeks while
Susan gripped Samuel’s hand, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with her serviette as Samuel
stared intently at his plate, blinking rapidly. Even stoic Mrs. Wheatley, standing silently by
the door, turned away with an audible sniff.

He closed his eyes against his own threatening tears. Her entire life spent without a mother
and her only wish was to have one of her own. It had seemed such a simple thing in her eyes
to wish only for Miss Heywood to stay and be her mother. He could not fault her when
keeping Charlotte had been his only wish as well, one nearly a decade in the making. Or had
it truly been a lifetime? Certainly, as long as he’d known what the concept of having love and
a true partner meant, although it had all been nothing more than a vague idea of someone that
could only ever be a dream until the moment Charlotte had walked through his study door. In
one fell swoop, both of their dreams had come true. No, he could not fault Leo for her tears at
all.

“You must be a very special girl to have gotten your wish early, Leo,” he finally managed to
choke out.

Charlotte pressed a kiss against Leo’s hair. “And just think, Leo, now you can make a new
wish on your birthday.”

Leo brightened at this unexpected result of her wish coming true early. She looked earnestly
up at Charlotte. “Will you come to my birthday?”

“Of course!” Charlotte squeezed her. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything. Now, how about we all
eat dinner? It’s been a very exciting day and I’m sure everyone is hungry.”

With a nod, Leo slipped off of Charlotte’s lap. Plates were shifted as seats were rearranged,
allowing Charlotte to remain next to him. A place setting was quickly placed on the table for
Charlotte and serving platters and bowls handed to the new couple. Within moments, the
table resembled a dinner that would be held by any other family but the air in the room still
felt odd after they had nearly all been in tears only moments before. They sat awkwardly
around the table looking at each other in silence as though uncertain what to do next.

“Well, that was an unexpected welcome,” Charlotte said after a moment.

Samuel grinned. “Welcome back, Charlotte.” He raised a questioning brow, looking back and
forth between them. “I assume congratulations are in order?”

“Charlotte has agreed to marry me,” Xander confirmed, taking Charlotte’s hand in his.

“Oh, I’m so happy for you both,” Susan clasped Charlotte’s other hand across the table. “I
knew he could not let you go!”

“And I’m so happy to see you here!” Charlotte exclaimed. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you
leaving.”

“Well, I could not miss the conclusion of your story,” Susan looked between the newly
engaged couple. “I am delighted that it’s a happy one.”
“It was meant to be,” Augusta declared. “I knew once the two of you admitted your feelings,
you would come back to us.” She appeared all too smug. “I told you, Uncle, that it would
take a woman of unsurpassable beauty that rode horses and read poetry to tempt you to marry
again.”

Xander felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. He wasn’t used to others having such an
investment in his feelings and well-being. Charlotte squeezed his fingers. “Yes, Augusta, how
right you were,” he acquiesced graciously. It was gratifying to see his niece’s eyes light up
again after being so melancholy since returning from Falmouth.

“And you’ll really be my mother?” Leo asked from her seat next to Charlotte.

“Yes, Leo,” she placed her arm around her shoulders. “I’m so happy I get to be your mother.”
She glanced at Augusta. “And Augusta’s aunt. Although it won’t be official until after we are
married.”

“When will that be? What will your dress look like? Will there be a big cake?” Leo’s earlier
tears now long forgotten as the excitement of having Charlotte as her new mother began to
take over.

Xander laughed, relieved that the mood in the room had lightened significantly. “We can
figure all of this out over the next few days and weeks, Leo. For now, how about you eat
before your food gets cold?”

As everyone finally began eating and conversation between the ladies at the table primarily
turned to discussions about wedding attire, flowers and cakes, Xander surveyed the scene
before him with an overwhelming surge of happiness and gratitude. Never had he felt so
completely satisfied. Only a few months ago, dinners with Leo and Augusta were eaten in
near silence, if he even joined them at all. Now, in only a few weeks' time, he found himself
seated at the table with his brother for the first time in ten years and engaged to be married to
the most amazing woman. It occurred to him that there was every likelihood that the table
would look very different in the years to come, surrounded by even more family. He had not
given the idea any consideration before and found the thought of being surrounded by
Augusta, Leo and a passel of brown-haired children with Charlotte’s smile and dimpled chin
almost too good to be true.

“Papa?”

He shook himself from his reverie and looked down the table at his daughter’s eager face.
“Yes, Leo?”

“Can you milk a cow?”

Xander’s mind spun, confused by the unexpected question as Augusta, Samuel and Susan’s
head’s all swiveled to gaze at him expectantly. Clearly, he had missed some prior
conversation. Charlotte’s eyes danced as she bit her bottom lip, the farmer’s daughter
seemingly amused at the very idea of him doing such a thing. He narrowed his eyes at her,
silently daring her to claim he was, in fact, not a farmer.
“Of course I can, Leo. Why do you ask?”

*****

Having never sat down to share a meal with the Colbourne family during her tenure as
governess, nor even shared a table with Xander or Augusta at any of the events they’d
attended together, Charlotte found her first experience dining with her new family rather
enlightening. Her keen eye noted that Xander’s place setting was backwards, the silverware
reversed from the traditional locations in deference to his dominant left hand. The carafe of
wine was not even offered to him, only a glass of water sitting before him should he wish a
drink. And she noted with amusement the ever so fleeting look of distaste that crossed his
face before he politely declined the tureen of peas when offered to him but took a larger
portion of carrots to compensate.

Leo’s stream of questions about the wedding came to a halt once it was mentioned that she
and Augusta would have to come to an agreement on fabric for their dresses. Augusta,
although cheerful enough in attitude, retained an air of sadness about her as she was now
faced with her uncle’s impending nuptials so soon after the loss of what she’d briefly hoped
for her own wedding. The typically gregarious Samuel seemed more reserved than usual,
seemingly preoccupied with some thought and barely spoke during the meal unless directly
addressed. Between Samuel’s odd silence and Xander’s natural reserve, she found herself
exceptionally grateful for Susan’s presence and the ease with which she made conversation
under any circumstances.

While she’d managed to steer the dinner conversation mostly towards wedding plans,
Charlotte was under no illusion that the story of what had occurred that morning would
continue to remain untold once they retired to the drawing room after dinner. So it was that
she and Xander found themselves settled into the corners of the settee with Leo wedged
between them as they waited for the inevitable questioning to begin.

“Now Charlotte,” Susan began nearly as soon as she was seated, “we’ve been waiting all day
to hear what happened. You must tell us everything exactly as it happened.”

She and Xander exchanged a look. There was much that would forever remain private
between them but the questions about their rather sudden engagement were sure to be asked
repeatedly as the news spread across Sanditon. Amongst their closest friends and family, who
already knew at least some portion of their story, they could surely be a bit more open about
the details of their engagement.

She managed to regale them with the story of how she had left Trafalgar House, how
surprised and confused she’d been when Xander stopped the carriage, how he had assured her
that he was free to marry after all and declared his affections for her without mentioning their
rather long and passionate embrace in front of the Parker’s carriage drivers.

Leo wrinkled her nose. “Does that mean that Papa told you that he loves you?”

Charlotte laughed, tapping the child on her nose. “Yes, Leo. I will spare you the exact words
that were spoken,” she grinned at Xander whose neck and ears were now quite decidedly
pink, “but rest assured they were lovely.”
“Do not spare us the exact words,” Susan protested. “We want to hear everything!”

Augusta nodded in agreement, leaning forward with obvious interest. “As strange as it is to
think of Uncle saying anything remotely romantic, you absolutely cannot leave a word out.”

“Perhaps I should retire to the study,” Xander said, shifting uncomfortably as if to stand.

“Running away, are you brother?” Samuel chuckled. “Are you ashamed of what you said to
your lovely fiancée?”

“Absolutely not,” he frowned. “But I do not feel the need to have it repeated for your sake.”

Charlotte grasped his hand. “Stay. You should not be embarrassed about anything.” She
turned back to Augusta and Susan. “I won’t repeat what was said as it was a private moment
between the two of us. But I will say that he spoke from his heart and it was very romantic.”
She met his eyes over Leo’s head and he smiled despite his embarrassment. “We then walked
to the tree where we found Leo hiding over the summer and discussed the misunderstandings
that led to our separation this summer and all is forgiven between us.”

“Will you finally now tell us what led to your dismissal as governess then?” Samuel’s eyes all
but gleamed as he came alive with anticipation, turning to his brother expectantly. His
determination to hear the truth of just how and why she’d been dismissed had not faded with
news of their engagement.

“No.” Xander’s expression was firm.

“You admit you dismissed her then?” Samuel continued to press the issue, calling upon his
experience as a barrister.

“It doesn’t matter what happened,” Charlotte interjected before Xander could voice a retort.
“It is in the past and from here on, we are looking towards the future.” She swiftly continued
the story, rushing to bring it to a conclusion. “When it became obvious that it was about to
rain, we came back to the house and spent the afternoon in the study talking about matters
that needed to be discussed between us. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. And then
we joined you for dinner.”

“You were in the study all afternoon?” Augusta looked back and forth between them
accusingly. “We were worried about you! Leo was ready to run off to Ireland to find you!”

“I wasn’t worried,” Samuel countered smugly. “Well, at least not after Mrs. Wheatley told me
they were in the study to keep me from riding out in the rain to look for them. And of course,
I told Susan. So the only ones worried were you and Leo, Augusta.”

Augusta scowled, sinking back into the chair and clutching a cushion across her stomach in
frustration. “I am still being relegated to the place of a child, I see.”

“It wasn’t that, Augusta,” Charlotte tried to placate her. “Your uncle and I needed to have an
important conversation and didn’t wish to be disturbed.” She dared not point out the
similarities in the way she was currently acting and those of a younger child. Navigating the
path from childhood to adulthood was not always easy.

She took note of Xander’s slow intake of air followed by a long, measured exhale. He was
trying to remain calm, to keep himself from making some sharp retort to his niece. Given
their history, she knew the progress he’d made in controlling his temper with Augusta had not
come easy. She hoped that her renewed presence in both of their lives could help bring them
together.

“We shall have to get right to work on your trousseau, Charlotte,” Susan urged, expertly
changing the topic of conversation. “I’m sure Mrs. Parker and Augusta will both wish to
provide their opinions on fabrics and patterns.”

Charlotte sent her friend a grateful look. “Of course, I want all of your opinions,” she
insisted. “I wish Georgiana was here but she and her mother left for London last night.” She
could hardly believe that Georgiana would have no idea what had occurred. She would need
to write her first thing in the morning.

“And I assume you’ll have some business to attend to in London now, Xander,” Samuel said.
“Susan and I will need to return soon as well, at least for a short visit to see to some matters
that require attention.”

“London?” Charlotte looked over Leo’s head at Xander, surprised. She had not considered
that he would be leaving Sanditon, even for a short time. Despite their months-long
separation over the summer and the past weeks spent primarily struggling to avoid each
other, she found the idea of him suddenly being so far away oddly disconcerting.

The way he wrinkled his nose in disgust at the idea of going to London was remarkably
similar to Leo. “Yes, I’ll need to meet with my lawyer and the bank. But I will make it as
short of a visit as possible.”

“And perhaps one or two other places as well,” Susan arched a delicate brow in his direction
to which he gave a brief nod of understanding.

“When will you leave?”

He rubbed his stubbled chin. “A few days. After Leo’s birthday.”

Shifting her attention to the weight of the child leaning against her, she stroked Leo’s hair,
receiving no response. “I believe she has fallen asleep.” The excitement of the day had surely
tired her more than usual.

“I’ll take her up to bed,” Xander stood and gently gathered a limp Leo into his arms. The
sight of him holding his sleeping daughter warmed her heart. Such a scene would have been
impossible to imagine only a few months ago.

Augusta uncurled herself from her chair, setting aside the cushion she’d been holding. “I
think I’ll go to bed as well. Then the adults can converse without fear of the children hearing
something they shouldn’t.”
“Augusta,” Xander sighed, his voice low to keep from waking Leo.

Charlotte placed her hand on his arm, shaking her head. She would make time to speak with
the younger woman herself as soon as possible. “Goodnight, Augusta.”

Mrs. Wheatley took up a candle to light the way, leading Xander from the room. Augusta
paused for a moment, watching her uncle leave. “I am glad you’re back. You make Uncle a
much happier man and for that I’m grateful.”

“Perhaps you could say that to him?” Charlotte suggested gently.

“I will consider it,” she said grudgingly before following her uncle and Mrs. Wheatley from
the room.

As she and Susan continued to make small talk in Xander's absence, discussing flowers that
might be available for the wedding from the Colbourne greenhouse, Charlotte watched
Samuel from the corner of her eye. He moved anxiously from the fireplace to the drawing
room window overlooking the terrace and back, stopping to fill a glass with port. Something
was on his mind and she had little doubt that his younger brother would not be pleased by
whatever it was.

Xander returned from tucking Leo into bed, settling closer to her on the settee now that there
wasn’t a child between them. He watched his brother for a minute or two, his expression
growing more wary with each passing second as though he suspected something was about to
occur. “What is wrong with you, Sam?” Xander he finally prompted. “You’ve had a strange
look on your face all evening.”

Samuel and Susan exchanged a look. “Leo said something very interesting at dinner before
you made your grand entrance.”

“Is that why you all looked so odd when we walked in?” Xander brushed off the comment.
“You’ve been around Leo enough to know by now that she often says the first thing that
comes to her mind with very little thought given to what she’s saying first.”

Samuel downed the contents of his glass before refilling it and sitting down in the chair next
to Susan. “She mentioned something about running off to the militia camp over the summer.
Shortly before Charlotte left your employment.”

Charlotte’s stomach tightened in anticipation. From the look on Samuel’s face, whatever else
Leo had said, it had caused quite the shock to her uncle and presumably her cousin and Susan
as well. She slipped her hand under Xander’s, lacing her fingers with his. “She certainly
caused a bit of a panic when we realized she was missing but we found her soon enough and
she was quite unharmed.”

Xander’s eyes darted to hers. “Yes, Leo’s prone to wandering off and she took it upon herself
to go to the camp.” His voice and expression gave nothing away. “She was quite enthralled
with the militia at the time.”

“Leo made it sound as though there was more to the story,” Samuel countered.
“I think this matter can wait for another time,” Susan interjected as she directed a pointed
look at Samuel. “We should be celebrating your engagement tonight.”

Xander frowned, the look he gave his brother hard. His grip on her hand tightened. “No, go
ahead, Sam. I’m interested in hearing what Leo said that’s absolutely gnawing at your insides
so much you felt the need to bring this up now.”

Samuel leaned back in his chair, swirling the contents of his glass with a relaxed air. It
seemed the more anxious Xander became, Samuel found delight in appearing annoyingly
calm in comparison. “She said that she overheard something about a Colonel Lennox being
her father. I remember the rumors about you and Lucy before Leo was born, Xander.” He
glanced in her direction, as though suddenly hesitant to say too much in her company.

Somehow, they both managed to keep the surprise from showing on their faces. In the days
after the events at the militia camp and the unexpectedness of her dismissal from Heyrick
Park, it had likely not occurred to Xander to speak further with Leo about the conversation
she’d overheard and the subsequent one with Colonel Lennox. He had never spoken with Leo
about keeping what she’d overheard to herself and she had thought nothing of bringing the
topic up at the dinner table.

She felt the tension in Xander growing next to her. “Feel free to speak plainly, Sam. Charlotte
knows more about my marriage to Lucy than you do.”

Samuel had the decency to look at least somewhat abashed. “There were rumors about you
being a cuckold. I always brushed them aside as unfounded gossip. Your marriage to Lucy
was considered a somewhat unusual pairing by many so I assumed the rumors were spread
out of jealousy.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Was there actually truth in what
was being said all those years ago, brother?”

Xander’s jaw tightened as his fingers moved to the ring on his left hand. “You should know
better to give any credence to rumors. Leo was mistaken in what she heard,” he insisted. “She
has a habit of eavesdropping and she heard a private conversation between Charlotte and I the
night before she ran off where Colonel Lennox was mentioned.”

It was quite apparent that Xander was not willing to discuss the truth about Leo’s parentage
with his brother…at least not tonight…and she could sense that any further probing by
Samuel had the potential to lead to Xander losing his temper. Whatever had occurred between
the brothers in the past had not yet been entirely forgiven by Xander at least and Samuel
continuing to press his brother would not help matters.

She had always believed that telling the truth was best to avoid further problems, even if
certain details had to be omitted to satisfy those asking the questions. “Colonel Lennox had
developed an interest in me last summer,” Charlotte swiftly elaborated. “Xander knew him to
be dishonorable from his days in London and ordered me to stay away from him but gave no
reason for such a demand. I took exception to his order and was on the verge of deciding
whether or not I could even continue on as governess if he would not tell me the truth. The
night of the midsummer ball, the Colonel proposed to me and then became quite angry when
I declined. I was rather upset and your brother was forced to explain his knowledge of the
Colonel’s past behavior to me else lose me as his employee. That is the conversation that Leo
overheard.”

Samuel’s gaze drifted skeptically back and forth between the two of them. “If that’s all it
was…”

“That’s all it was, Sam,” Xander said firmly, “a misunderstanding. Leo wandered off as a
result. But, as you have plainly seen, was found and safely returned home.”

“Then there’s no truth to the rumors?”

Xander’s fingers curled into a fist. “Of course not.”

“And this had nothing to do with Charlotte leaving soon after?”

“For God’s sake, Sam!”

Susan placed her hand on Samuel’s knee. “I believe that’s enough. They have explained what
Leo must have meant at dinner. Clearly, she was mistaken, as any child would likely be when
overhearing a conversation about matters they do not understand.”

Samuel held his hands up, finally conceding. “Alright, Xander, I did not mean to cause
offense. We were rather startled by what Leo said and I was concerned about the implications
if what she said was true. We will leave you alone. For now.” He rose, taking Susan’s hand as
she joined him. “I assume the carriage will be ready for the ladies to leave soon?”

Xander looked at the clock and sighed. “Yes, of course. Charlotte should return to the
Parker’s. I’m sure they are eager to learn about the events of the day.”

*****

Xander leaned his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Between Leo’s unexpected
reaction to realizing her wish for Charlotte to become her mother had come true, to his
brother interrogating them as though they were witnesses in one of his court cases, the
evening had most assuredly not turned out the way he’d expected.

Charlotte’s hand came to rest on his arm. “Surely, it’s not as bad as all that.”

He looked over his shoulder at her in disbelief. “I fear the shadow of Lennox will follow me
for the rest of my life. With everything that happened after Leo ran off, I never spoke with
her about keeping what she’d heard to herself. It never even occurred to me that she might
bring it up to Samuel.”

“I feel we did a rather commendable job in persuading your brother that Leo was quite
mistaken in what she heard. I’m sure he will not continue to press the issue further.”

“I admire your optimism, Charlotte, but I fear you do not truly understand my brother. No, he
will continue to entertain himself by asking questions to answers that are none of his concern.
He will not let a matter go until he’s satisfied with knowing the answer.” He placed his hand
over hers and leaned back into the settee with a sigh. “Do you understand now why Samuel
vexes me so much?”

“Mmm,” she hummed, shifting so that she was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder.
She took his hand in hers again, lacing their fingers back together. “He is just trying to make
up for lost time.”

A huff of laughter escaped him at her oversimplification of his complex relationship with his
brother. “He is meddling into matters that are none of his concern, Charlotte, and
intentionally driving me towards madness. He has always taken an unwholesome amount of
delight in aggravating me.”

“I would like to understand better why the two of you have not gotten along all these years.”

“Yes, well, that is a conversation for another time,” he said grudgingly. Sharing his family
history with her was bound to be yet another difficult conversation he did not relish having.
Especially when the remainder of their time together that evening was so short. He slipped
his arm behind her back and tipped her chin towards him with his other hand. “Could we
please not discuss my brother anymore tonight? Samuel is not the only one trying to make up
for lost time.”

Everything about Charlotte lit a fire within him. Her spirit and passion for those she cared
about. Her keen mind and varied interests. Her innate beauty inside and out. He ached to
know everything about her, to share her thoughts and memories. And as difficult as it would
be for him, he wanted to share his life, his history…the good and bad…with her. But not
tonight.

She shrugged and smiled sweetly, reminding him that despite everything else, the day had
still been one of unbridled happiness. “Whatever shall we do instead?”

It had not escaped either of them that they were back in the place where it had all begun.
With a single daring kiss he had opened the door to the whirlwind of events that had turned
both of their lives upside down for the past four months. Little could either of them have
known that it would finally lead them back here on this night. With a glint in her eye that told
him she too was recalling that very same kiss, she slid a hand up his arm to the back of his
neck, her fingers deftly sliding into the hair at the nape of his neck. He needed no further
encouragement.

Pulling her closer, he lost himself in the scent of her. Charlotte softened, leaning into him as
he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, swiftly followed by another to the other
side. His nose brushed across her cheek a moment before he brushed his lips along the line of
her jaw. She shivered in anticipation. Lightly running his fingers up her neck, he gently
nipped her bottom lip before deepening the kiss. Within an instant, heat rose between them
and he reveled in it, for once knowing that he did not have to fear that she would pull away.

From the very first moment his lips had touched hers on the night of the midsummer ball, he
had been forced to constrain himself, his true desire for her held under a tenuous control.
Now that they had finally admitted their love for one another and committed themselves to
being married, he felt that control slipping and it took all of his willpower to pull away. Their
chests heaved as they fought to catch their breaths. There were weeks yet until they could be
married and he had no doubt every day would be a struggle until then.

“The carriage will be arriving soon,” he reminded her, his lips a mere inch or two from hers.
“I don’t suppose it would do for you to return to the Parker’s any later than it already is.”

Blinking slowly, she nodded in reluctant agreement. “I suppose not.”

He stood, raising her to her feet. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“For what do I deserve thanks? Bringing you into the madness that is my family?”

Her lips curved upward. “For stopping the carriage this morning.”

“Willingden it one thing, Charlotte, but I could not have you take my heart all the way to
Ireland.” He kissed her softly on the lips. “And before you ask, yes, I would have followed
you all the way there to bring you back home.”

“Home,” she murmured. “I hope that means you do not still intend to burn the house down. I
happen to like it here.”

He grinned foolishly. “I promise you I shall no longer contemplate burning the house down if
that is what makes you happy.”

Charlotte pulled back just enough that she could look him square in the eyes as though she
wanted to ensure that he would take whatever she said next as indisputable fact. “I can’t
imagine being any happier. I wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else than here with you and your
family.”

A light rapping on the drawing room door indicated that the carriage stood waiting for
Charlotte and Susan to return to town. He kissed her one last time before walking her into the
hall to gather her coat and bonnet. The night air was cold against their cheeks as he led her
outside where Samuel was already handing Susan into the carriage.

Charlotte turned to him. “I’ve hardly been here in months and yet it seems strange to be
leaving now.”

“It won’t be long until you won’t need to leave at the end of the day.”

His assurance was as much for her as for himself. He would be living for the day when she
would forever be by his side. Until then, it would have to be enough to know that their days
and nights apart would be few in comparison to the lifetime that lay ahead of them. He
handed Charlotte up into the carriage, meeting her eyes one last time. She smiled broadly and
squeezed his fingers before releasing them. He closed the carriage door and stepped back,
nodding up to Ellis. With a flick of the reins, the horses stepped into motion.

“Any chance you’ll be waiting until spring to hold the wedding?” Samuel smirked, rocking
back on his heels as the carriage disappeared into the darkness. “Better weather, more
abundant flowers and such?”
 Xander aimed a stifling look at his brother before turning to go back into the house.
“Absolutely none.”

Chapter End Notes

Wow, you guys blew me away with the response on the last chapter! Thank you for all
of the kind comments!

This chapter was not planned in advance. I had little in mind other than the family
having dinner together. It was initially meant to be at the end of the last chapter but that
one became too long so I decided to make it a chapter on its own. And boy, did Leo and
Sam go completely rogue on me! I honestly don't know where any of that came from. I
just let their little voices tell me what to say...and sometimes, they say a lot.
 The Happy News
Chapter Summary

News of our happy couple's engagement begins to spread.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

The Happy News

The morning after Mr. Colbourne’s surprising proposal on the cliffs, Charlotte woke in her
bedroom at Trafalgar House convinced she must still be dreaming. Xander , she corrected
herself. His name sent a shiver through her. She was engaged to marry Alexander Colbourne.

She had returned to the Parker’s home late the night before, finding Tom, Mary and Arthur
anxiously waiting to hear exactly what had happened between her departure from their home
and the unexpected return of their carriage with the news that Mr. Colbourne had stopped the
carriage on the cliff road and the two had shared a long embrace. Mary, having already been
in Charlotte’s confidence about her true feelings for Mr. Colbourne, had understood
immediately what had occurred and was delighted. Arthur had quickly deduced that there
must have been secret feelings between the two for some time and had congratulated her
profusely, his joy at the news enough to bring tears to her eyes. Completely surprised by the
news, Tom had been all too enthusiastic for the match now that he no longer viewed
Alexander Colbourne as a miser.

Charlotte laughed softly to herself at the memory of the Parkers telling her all about the
mysterious Mr. Colbourne all those months ago. She could hardly have imagined how
rescuing Leo from being trampled in the parade that day had changed the course of her life or
just how much she’d come to love the stern and stubborn man she’d first met at Heyrick
Park. Oh, how she could not wait to be married to him! The excitement and ache at what
seemed to be an interminable wait only gave her further proof that she had made the right
choice in ending her engagement to Ralph.

Breakfast found her eagerly surrounded by Alicia, Jenny and Henry who were delighted to
have been told upon waking that she was not leaving Sanditon after all. She spent the next
half hour patiently answering their many questions while managing to consume at least a
portion of her breakfast.

“Oh, Charlotte, I do apologize,” Mary interrupted suddenly. “I forgot to tell you last night
that Mr. Colbourne will be joining us for tea today, along with Lady Denham.”

Charlotte looked up, confused by the odd pairing of Xander and Lady Denham as well as the
sudden invitation. “There’s no need to apologize, Mary,” she reassured her. “But how did you
come to invite Mr. Colbourne to tea so quickly and why is Lady Denham included as well?”

“The invitation was sent out to them both to further discuss the plans for the Old Town when
we still thought you would be on your way to Ireland,” Mary explained. “I didn’t mention
that I’d invited Mr. Colbourne to keep from upsetting you before you departed Sanditon. I’m
sure he forgot to tell you during all of the excitement yesterday. But now that circumstances
have changed, of course you’ll want to join us!” Mary’s knowing smile showed she knew
well enough that there was little that could have kept her away.

*****

After spending the morning with Mary and Susan making a rather lengthy list of all of the
items she would need for her trousseau, Charlotte found herself feeling once again somewhat
daunted at the prospect of her new role. Of course she understood that she would need to
elevate her wardrobe to match that of her new status but she had not anticipated the volume
of items she would need nor the cost that would be involved. She had no doubt that Xander
would insist that he pay for everything but her pride hated that he must do so. There was no
possible way that her parents could afford all that she would need and she would not have
been able to bring herself to ask them to after the trouble she had caused them when she
ended her engagement to Ralph.

She had yet to receive a response to her express letter to her parents and did not expect one so
soon, but the anticipation of how her parents would react to the news worried her more than
she wished to admit. She hated to disappoint them yet again and although Alexander
Colbourne was a man of no small means who could offer her a life beyond what they could
have ever hoped for their daughter, they were sure to have misgivings about her engagement
to her former employer.

Retiring to her room after luncheon, she sat down to write lengthy letters to Alison and
Georgiana. She had spent much more time on the letter to her parents and Alison would
demand more details about everything that had happened between her and Xander over the
summer than she had given the day before. And while she desperately hoped that Georgiana
had found the love and security she’d been seeking with Otis and her mother, she already
missed being able to celebrate her engagement with her friend.

By the time she’d finished her letters, her fingers were cramping from gripping the quill and
it was nearly tea time. The anticipation of seeing him again sent flutters through her. It
seemed the knowledge that they were finally free to be together had done nothing to lessen
his effect on her. Setting aside her letters, she checked her appearance in the mirror before
descending the stairs once more.

*****

When Xander arrived at Trafalgar House, he was ushered by a maid into the same drawing
room where he’d last spoken to Charlotte in the summer. He was pleased to find that the
dread he’d felt when he’d stepped into the room with Samuel a few weeks ago no longer
seemed to fill him. Perhaps now that they were to be married, he would finally be able to
move past all of the reminders of the unhappy moments they’d shared, focusing solely on the
new memories they were certain to make together.
He turned at the soft sound of footsteps behind him and his heart leapt at the sight of
Charlotte entering the room with Mary Parker. Her face brightened when their eyes met, a
soft smile curving her lips and he nearly crushed the brim of his hat from gripping it too
tightly. She had entranced him in her simple governess dresses, plain and unassuming. He’d
been struck nearly speechless by the sight of her at the garden party and in the fashionable
gowns she’d worn at the balls and parties they’d attended together. But this elegant woman
before him, arriving to welcome guests to tea…this was the woman he was to marry. She was
every inch the future Mrs. Colbourne and mistress of Heyrick Park.

“Mr. Colbourne,” Mrs. Parker greeted him. “It’s lovely to see you again. And our sincerest
congratulations to you. We’re so grateful that you’ve given Charlotte the best of reasons to
stay in Sanditon for good.”

Xander bowed his head in acknowledgement. “Thank you, Mrs. Parker. I’m grateful that
Charlotte felt I was a worthy enough reason to stay.”

“Yes, congratulations indeed, Mr. Colbourne,” Tom effused as he entered the room with his
brother, Arthur. “We were pleasantly surprised when our carriage driver returned yesterday
with the news that Charlotte was staying in Sanditon after all.”

“And what are we congratulating Mr. Colbourne for?” Lady Denham’s voice interrupted
them as she arrived in the doorway.

He exchanged a quick look with Charlotte. Although she quickly schooled her features into a
pleasant aspect, it was evident that her lack of enthusiasm for hearing Lady Denham’s
opinion on their engagement mirrored his own.

“Ah, Lady Denham! Mr. Colbourne and Charlotte are engaged to be married!” Tom
announced proudly.

Lady Denham appeared surprised as she sat down on the settee. She looked back and forth
between Charlotte and Xander, her eyes narrowing in appraisal. “Well that is a surprise. I
thought you were determined not to marry after you’d ended your engagement to the farmer,
Miss Heywood.”

“I said I would live life on my terms, Lady Denham. And I am.” She turned to him and
smiled. “Besides, I am marrying a farmer.”

Pride rippled through him at her words. She had been determined to choose her own path and
in the end, she had chosen him. She had chosen Leo and Augusta, Heyrick Park and
Sanditon. All of the things that were most important to him and that he loved beyond
measure were those that had come to mean the most to her as well and she would not
apologize or bear any shame for following her heart.

“How fortunate everything worked out for you, Miss Heywood.” Lady Denham’s words
dripped with sarcasm. “You’ve certainly come far since your first visit to Sanditon, haven’t
you? A governess just a few months ago and now you’ll be mistress of a large estate.”
If he looked back into his farthest memories, Xander would not have been hard-pressed to
recall all of the instances where he had heard his mother or father tell some story of Lady
Denham with her sharp tongue and all too eagerly given opinions. As young as he was when
his mother had died, he still recalled how much she had detested the numerous teas and card
games she’d endured in her company. He may have avoided her for the past ten years but
returning to Society came with the price of tolerating her company and, as his wife, Charlotte
would have to withstand her never-ending critiques far more than he ever would. Regardless
of money or standing, he would not allow anyone to spread any falsehoods or gossip about
his wife or family, most especially Lady Denham.

“I’m the one who’s fortunate, Lady Denham,” he interjected firmly, allowing his tone to
indicate that he would abide no aspersions cast towards his betrothed. “I consider myself very
lucky indeed. Charlotte is a far better person than I could ever aspire to be and I could not be
more honored that she has seen fit to agree to marry me.” He glanced towards Charlotte,
noting how she sat proudly with her back straight and chin held high. “And before you ask,
I’m sure you’ll be quite relieved to hear that my niece is well after her recent trip. I would
hate for you to be unduly concerned.”

While their trip to Falmouth to return Augusta to Sanditon had been kept a secret from most
to spare his niece’s reputation, he knew Charlotte could not have kept the reason for her
unexpected trip from the Parker’s. To say that they were all surprised that he would openly
comment to Lady Denham regarding her nephew’s scheme to entice Augusta into marriage
would be an understatement. Tom and Arthur’s eyes grew quite large as Mary bit the inside
of her cheek, swiftly turning her face away. Charlotte hid her smile behind her teacup but she
could not hide the gleam of approval and absolute adoration in her eyes.

*****

Charlotte had never witnessed Xander outside of Heyrick Park or the few social gatherings
they’d both attended in recent weeks. His work while she was a governess in his household
had been a vague idea of him managing his estate based on her knowledge of her own
father’s business affairs. She knew he had buried himself in work since taking over the estate
due to the debts he had been saddled with when his father died just as she knew the estate
was now doing quite well, a testament to all of his hard work. One could not live in Sanditon
and not be aware of Heyrick Farms and the milk, cheese and cream it supplied to the town.

But watching him conduct business with the Parkers and Lady Denham was eye-opening. He
absorbed all that Tom, Mary and Lady Denham said before contributing his own concise and
well-thought out rebuttals. His mind was sharp, calculating costs and amounts of supplies
rapidly in his head and making confident estimates. His business acumen was clearly evident
and she could see that even Lady Denham was grudgingly impressed.

When the conversation turned to the school that was a requirement of his investment in the
Old Town, he deferred to Charlotte and Mary, only contributing when he felt he could help.
She caught his look of pride from the corner of her eye and blushed. For the first time, she
felt truly supported in her dream and for a moment she had to blink back tears of joy.
Xander’s brow furrowed slightly, concerned until she smiled and gave him a small shake of
her head to indicate that she was quite fine, just overwhelmed with happiness.
“Tom has a suggestion for a possible site for the school,” Mary told them as their
conversation was drawing to a close. “We’d love to get your opinions.”

“Of course,” Xander readily agreed, forcing Lady Denham to agree or appear contrary.

As they stepped out into the crisp autumn air, Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief. They had
weathered making their first announcement of their engagement and they’d both managed to
survive relatively unharmed. In fact, Xander had impressed her with the way he’d engaged
with both the Parkers and Lady Denham. She had been so surprised when he’d so openly
spoken of Sir Edward’s attempt to marry Augusta, she’d nearly kissed him right then and
there.

She watched him slowly draw a deep breath and nudged him with her elbow. “You managed
quite well, Mr. Colbourne,” she teased as they followed the Parkers and Lady Denham, “I’m
impressed you made it through an entire tea.”

His mouth curved up slightly at the corners. The subtle changes in his expressions had
become so dear to her. “We must all bear our burdens, Miss Heywood, and I shall bear mine
with as much fortitude as I can muster as long as I have you by my side.”

Her cheeks flushed as she smiled up into those warm brown eyes that had a way of making
her heart skip. The wait to marry would indeed seem interminable.

They made their way through the streets of Sanditon towards the Old Town. When they
reached the possible site for the school, Charlotte felt her heart lift as her excitement grew.
More than once she saw him watching her with approval and genuine interest. When they
moved to walk back towards the beach, she fell into step next to him once more.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“Thanking me again? What did I do to earn such an honor this time?”

“For the school. For making my dream come true.”

“If we are speaking of dreams, I am simply returning the favor, Miss Heywood. If you insist
on trading thanks, I’ll be thanking you every single day for the rest of my life.”

She shook her head in wonder, her cheeks growing warmer than ever. Where had this man
been all those months ago. “I cannot claim to see how that might be considered an
imposition, Mr. Colbourne.”

The group paused on the promenade as Tom and Arthur excitedly pointed out their ideal
location to build a theatre, Tom’s hands gesticulating wildly in the air as he attempted to paint
an image for Lady Denham who did not seem particularly enthusiastic about such an idea.
Taking advantage of the opportunity to speak more privately, Xander took her arm and
moved them a step or two away so as not to be overheard. “I hope you don’t mind but I’ve
taken the liberty to send Reverend Hankins a note to let him know that we’ll be stopping by
to speak with him.”
“Of course not,” she shook her head, pleased that he seemed as anxious to marry as she was.
“You’re being quite expeditious, Mr. Colbourne. It’s almost as if you’re in a hurry to get
married.”

He leaned closer, turning his head so his mouth was closer to her ear. “I would take you
straight to Reverend Hankins to be married right now if I didn’t believe that Susan, Augusta
and Mrs. Wheatley would jointly have me skewered and served at dinner this evening.”

Despite the teasing nature of his words, her breath caught at the heated look in his eyes. Her
pulse quickened as she felt a flush of heat creeping up her neck. “Xander,” she breathed.

His eyes flickered suddenly to someone approaching and he shifted away from her, his back
straightening. Following the direction of his gaze, her heart dropped as she saw Lady
Montrose and her daughter walking towards them.

“Another burden I must bear,” Xander muttered.

She raised her hand as though brushing a stray piece of hair away. “This is a burden of your
making,” she whispered. He narrowed his eyes at her mocking and she bit back a laugh.

“Mr. Colbourne, what a pleasure to see you again,” the familiar voice of Lady Montrose
interrupted them and they both quickly turned their heads.

Lady Montrose smiled broadly at Xander as her daughter looked between them with a
knowing glance and a smirk on her lips. Charlotte nodded her head in greeting although the
dowager duchess was clearly focused solely on Xander.

“Your Grace, Lady Lydia,” he bowed in greeting. “A pleasure to see you again.” His voice
was pleasantly neutral.

“And Miss Heywood, I take it you just happened to run into Mr. Colbourne while out
walking this afternoon?” Her disappointment and disapproval at finding her once again in
Xander’s company was palpable.

“Lady Denham and Mr. Colbourne joined the Parkers and myself for tea, your Grace. To
further discuss the proposals for the Old Town.”

“We were just looking at sites for the new school that Miss Heywood proposed,” Xander
added.

“How generous you are with your time and investments, Mr. Colbourne,” the duchess
effused. “Sanditon is lucky to have you as a benefactor.”

“Shouldn’t those with the means to help not do so?” Xander asked. “I’m ashamed that I’ve
only just recently realized how much I can help the families that work so hard for Sanditon
but I mean to rectify that in the future, starting with the school. I’m sure your own family has
also been generous to those less fortunate, have they not?”

“Of course, of course,” Lady Montrose swiftly changed the topic. “Lydia has so enjoyed her
rides at Heyrick Park, Mr. Colbourne. You did not give us a chance to settle on a date to visit
again at Miss Lambe’s party. I do hope we can arrange a date soon.”

Xander cleared his throat, his expression placid. “You’re welcome to borrow a horse from my
stable anytime, Lady Lydia.”

His offer was precisely worded to not cause offense but also clearly not suggest that there
would be anything more to any future visits than Lydia riding one of his horses…with no
promise that he would be joining her. Lady Lydia smiled with a slight nod of her head in
thanks as her mother tried to work out whether or not he was committing to another
engagement with her daughter.

“I thought you’d have returned home for your nuptials by now, Miss Heywood,” the duchess
moved on, turning her attention to Charlotte once more. “Did you not say you were marrying
very soon? I’m sure your family and Mr. Starling are quite anxious to have you home.”

“Your Grace,” she nodded, her cheeks flushing, “Mr. Starling and I have ended our
engagement by mutual agreement.” It took all her willpower not to look at Xander’s face as
he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Lady Montrose’s brows arched high on her forehead at her news, suspicion now flickering in
her eyes. “Well, that is interesting news,” she feigned a smile. “And does that mean you’re
returning to Heyrick Park as governess?” she asked, her gaze directed quite intently at
Xander.

“No,” Xander answered firmly. “Miss Heywood will not be returning to Heyrick Park as
governess.”

Charlotte struggled to suppress another smile at his precise reply. She would be returning as
his wife.

His attention was interrupted as Tom entreated him to give his thoughts on some matter to
Lady Denham. “Excuse me a moment,” he said politely before turning away and stepping
behind her, their backs to one another.

The dowager duchess looked enormously pleased at his confirmation, taking on an air of
satisfaction. “I expect you’ll be returning to your home then, Miss Heywood.”

“No, your Grace. I will be staying in Sanditon.”

She was all too aware of Xander standing behind her, confident that he could hear every word
she said. Abruptly she decided that there was no reason to delay the inevitable. Now that
Lady Denham knew in addition to the carriage drivers, word would soon spread of their
engagement. Making it known to Lady Montrose sooner rather than later would at least
alleviate Xander of her attempts to arrange further visits to Heyrick Park.

“The marriage with Mr. Starling had been arranged by our parents,” she explained. “It was
their wish to see us married since we were quite young. But my affections have been held by
a gentleman here in Sanditon for some time. However, I realized that I couldn’t marry Mr.
Starling when my heart belonged to another, despite the wishes of our parents and he very
kindly agreed.”

“Well, I do hope that your affections for this gentleman are returned, Miss Heywood,” Lady
Lydia spoke before her mother could continue. “I admire your resolve to be true to your
feelings.” Her knowing smile gave every indication that she was genuinely pleased to hear
that Charlotte was now free to marry whomever she chose.

“His affections mirror my own,” she confirmed, nodding her thanks. She held no ill feelings
towards Lady Lydia. Her cooperation with her mother’s plans to pursue a favorable marriage
was no different than Charlotte herself agreeing to her own parents’ wishes. “We are resolved
to be married as soon as possible.”

“Well, my sincere congratulations then, Miss Heywood,” Lady Lydia turned to her mother.
“We’re very happy for you, aren’t we Mother?”

Lady Montrose studied her for a moment, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “Of course. I do
hope it’s a propitious and happy match, Miss Heywood.”

As if he had been given some signal, Xander turned back to stand beside her once again.
Although his attention was returned to their conversation, she sensed he was rather anxious to
depart from their present company. An afternoon spent with Lady Denham and Lady
Montrose was more than enough socializing for the man who until very recently had been
considered a recluse by all of Sanditon.

“Your Grace, Lady Lydia, it was a pleasure seeing you again,” he said pleasantly. “I’m afraid
that we need to excuse ourselves as we have an appointment with Reverend Hankins and
don’t wish to be late. I am certain I speak for both of us when I say that we thank you for
your sincere well wishes.” He bowed smartly and held out his arm. “Shall we, Charlotte?”

*****

Xander just caught the look of shock on the duchess's face, her mouth open and brows raised
high on her forehead, as he quickly led Charlotte away. Lady Lydia hid a smile behind one
gloved hand, her eyes dancing with amusement. She might have to endure listening to her
mother’s coming tirade about how he had misled them as to his intentions, but something told
him that she would be content to do so simply as recompense for the moment of pure delight
he saw cross her face.

Charlotte’s good manners contained her laughter until they were far enough away as to not be
heard. “You’re incorrigible.”

“I was perfectly polite,” he countered cheerfully. “I even invited Lady Lydia to come riding
whenever she pleases. And I meant it when I said she was welcome. However I was not
going to continue to entertain her mother’s persistent efforts to see us betrothed once you told
them your engagement had been broken. You wouldn’t want me to continue to give her false
hope, would you?”
“No, of course not,” she admitted. “It is much better to be forthcoming rather than delaying
the inevitable. She would have heard soon enough. But why did you invite them to tea in the
first place if you didn’t wish to give them false hope that you were interested in marrying
Lady Lydia?”

He made a wry face. “I was upset after learning you were engaged at Miss Lambe’s birthday
party. Lady Lydia commented on enjoying riding and I invited her before I could even
consider the matter fully. It was an impulsive decision at the time.” He could not fully put
into words the thoughts that had led him to potentially irretrievably tying himself to Lady
Lydia Montrose. He had used his feelings of hurt, frustration, shame and regret to convince
himself that he could chase away the love he felt for Charlotte simply by marrying another
woman.

“I realized after you left Sanditon this summer that Leo and Augusta need a mother in their
lives. And while I wished with all my heart that it could be you, I told myself that I must
consider sacrificing love for companionship for their sake. I tried to convince myself that my
feelings did not matter in comparison. I cannot say for sure that I would have proposed to
Lady Lydia after my heartache at losing you had passed, if such a thing was even possible.
And it hardly mattered as she would have refused me anyway. Even if she was not already
engaged to another, she told me she could never marry a man who was so clearly in love with
someone else. She is an intelligent, kind woman but I did not have any feelings for her other
than friendship. And to be honest, having Lady Montrose as a mother in law would have been
quite difficult for me.”

Charlotte laughed and squeezed his arm. “I have to admit that it did cause me pain to see you
with Lady Lydia. I know that it would have made sense for you to remarry at some point and
I was certainly in no place to pass judgment as I was engaged to Ralph but the thought of you
married to someone else was quite unbearable.”

“The feeling was mutual,” he admitted, placing his hand over hers. “But we are together now
and need never be separated again.”

“I suppose we should hurry before are late for our appointment with Reverand Hankins.”

“We should.” He stopped, pulling her aside so as not to interrupt others walking. “I know we
have not discussed any wedding arrangements and I will abide by whatever you desire but I
would prefer to marry as soon as possible. I dislike having to bid you farewell in the evenings
and waiting to see you again. It makes me happy knowing that you’re near, even if we are not
together at that moment. And if you are out, it will comfort me to know that you will always
return to me.”

The expression of love on her face made it nearly impossible for him to fight the urge to kiss
her there on the street. Not that it wasn’t a struggle anytime she was near to suppress his
desire for her.

“Every time someone mentioned my wedding to Mr. Starling, I would get a knot in my
stomach,” she admitted. “At first I thought it was merely nerves and the feeling would
disappear once we were married. But it only grew worse once I returned to Sanditon. I know
now it was because I could not bear the idea of marrying Ralph when I did not love him. But
the thought of marrying you only fills me with joy and excitement. I do not wish to wait any
longer than would be proper either.”

“So, we are agreed?”

“We are agreed.”

“Would a month be sufficient? I will need to go to London and we should visit Willingden
and there’s the matter of Leo’s birthday….”

She placed her hand on his arm. “Xander, a month is perfect.”

He exhaled a sigh of relief as they resumed walking to the church and the vicarage beside it.
He hated waiting even a month but it would take time for all of the necessary arrangements
and preparations to be made. He would not deny Charlotte a proper wedding simply because
he was impatient to marry her.

“Miss Hankins,” Xander called out upon seeing the woman in the garden outside the
vicarage. “I left a note earlier to let the reverend know that Miss Heywood and I would be
stopping by to see him.”

Miss Hankins’ eyes widened in surprise as she took in the two of them, Charlotte’s arm still
on his. Clearly her brother had not enlightened her to their visit. “Mr. Colbourne,” she
seemed flustered, “do come in. I’ll tell my brother you’re here.”

They were left in the small but well-appointed parlor of the vicarage while Beatrice Hankins
sought her brother. Charlotte sat, calmly smoothing her skirts but he remained standing,
shifting his weight back and forth. He was beginning to welcome the idea of Sanditon gossip
spreading the word of their engagement so that he would not have to continue telling people
the news.

“Mr. Colbourne, Miss Heywood,” the Reverend Hankins greeted them as he entered the
room, his sister following with a tea tray. “It is not often I see a member of the Colbourne
family. To what do I owe this rather unexpected visit?”

“Reverend,” Xander ignored the thinly veiled critique of his lack of regular church
attendance. He found the man’s manner too judgemental of others with little regard to
actually understanding the situation at hand. “Miss Heywood and I are here to procure your
services. We wish to be married.”

“Such happy news!” Miss Hankins’ clapped her hands together, her smile expressing genuine
pleasure for them.

Her brother, however, looked back and forth between them with a less than approving
expression. “My apologies, Mr. Colbourne, but it was my understanding that Miss Heywood
is already engaged to marry a gentleman from her village.”

Xander opened his mouth to speak but Charlotte’s hand on his arm stopped him. “I
understand your confusion, Reverend,” she said. “My engagement to Mr. Starling ended a
number of days ago by mutual agreement. Mr. Colbourne and I only became engaged
yesterday. I assure you that we are both free to marry.”

“This is most unusual,” Reverend Hankins frowned.

He was not about to have the man give them some kind of lecture or cause Charlotte to feel
any guilt over ending her prior commitment. “Like many women, Miss Heywood felt bound
to marry a man chosen by her parents rather than her own heart.” He looked at Charlotte and
she squeezed his arm, her smile reassuring him once again that she did indeed love him. “One
cannot fault her for choosing not to marry a man she does not love when the man she does
love returns her affections wholeheartedly and is offering her the life she desires.”

“Oh, that’s lovely,” Miss Hankins gushed, her hands pressed to her chest.

The reverend gaped at him for a moment before recovering himself. “Well of course there’s
the matter of reading the banns,” he sputtered.

“Banns are not necessary,” Xander said, reaching into his coat for his wallet and pulling out
the necessary pound notes. “I’ll purchase a Common License. If there are no further
objections, we’d like to be married in four weeks time.”

Unable to put forth any further reason as to why they shouldn’t be married within the
requested time, talk moved towards details that Xander cared far less about. As long as he
and Charlotte were there at the prescribed time on the prescribed day, he was content. He
leaned back in his chair, allowing Charlotte to voice her opinions and desires until everything
had been settled to the happiness of all. He noted with some amusement that she did not back
down from her position when faced with the reverend’s alternative suggestions to the
readings and nature of the sermon.

“I’m sure we’ll be seeing much more of you at church now that you’re to be wed, Mr.
Colbourne,” the reverend hastened to add as they rose to leave, their business accomplished.

Xander barely managed to hide his grimace while Charlotte, at least, had the good grace not
to laugh at him until they were outside once more.

*****

Despite the reverend’s comment, Charlotte was surprised to see Xander arrive at church the
next morning with Augusta and Leo in tow. In all her time in Sanditon, she had never seen
the family at church services. In fact, she’d been told by Mary that Lady Denhem’s wedding
had been the first time the Colbourne pew had been occupied in years. More than one pair of
eyebrows raised as people took note of his unexpected arrival as he came to stand beside her,
a few turning to swiftly speak to those around them. A small thought crept into the back of
her mind that perhaps the attention was also due, at least in part, to the news of their sudden
engagement, for surely word had spread to at least some portion of the town’s population.

Doing her best to brush the thought aside, she happily greeted Leo and Augusta. Mary drew
Leo’s over towards her own children, quickly making introductions. It was a hope of hers that
Leo would soon be friends with Mary and Tom’s children as well as young Tess and Dora
Filkins. Spending time with other children would only benefit Leo.

She studied Xander out of the corner of her eye. He seemed all too aware of the attention they
were garnering, his posture somewhat stiff. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

His fingers moved towards his ring for a brief moment before he clasped his hands behind his
back as though he was fighting against the habit. His eyes narrowed slightly as they darted
around them. “I assume you attend services every Sunday.”

She smiled at his endearing awkwardness. “I do.”

“If attending is important to you, then it is important to me,” he shrugged, squinting into the
distance, avoiding eye contact.

She nudged him with her elbow until he looked at her. “Thank you.” His eyes softened as he
looked at her and he gave a small nod of acknowledgement.

“I was hoping you’d be able to return with me to Heyrick Park and stay for dinner this
evening. Leo’s birthday is Tuesday and then I will need to go to London with Samuel and
Susan on Wednesday so we will not see each other for four days at least.”

“Of course.” She tipped her head towards where Leo and the Parker children were laughing
together under Mary’s watchful eye.“Perhaps you might consider inviting the Parkers to
Leo’s birthday celebration? It would do her good to be around other children.”

A flicker of regret crossed his face as he watched his daughter. “I’ll ask Mrs. Parker after the
service.” He offered his arm to her as they joined the line to enter the church. “Please feel
free to visit Heyrick Park while I’m away. I believe Mrs. Wheatley would like to begin
familiarizing you with the running of the house and I know Leo and Augusta would enjoy
having you there. You’re welcome to take them along on any excursions that you’d like. I’ve
already stopped at Griffin’s and you’re to buy whatever you need for yourself and the girls in
preparation for the wedding,” he gave her a pointed look.

Charlotte bit her lip at the new reminder of her soon-to-be elevated status. She had not
expected him to offer to cover her expenses so soon. Although she was grateful and
understood that as mistress of Heyrick Park that her funds would be more plentiful than she
ever imagined, it would take time for her to grow accustomed to having such wealth at her
fingertips. Aware that he would stubbornly resist and that it would likely hurt his feelings if
she tried to refuse his money until after they were married, she gave an exaggerated sigh.
“Oh, if I must.”

“I hardly expected you to agree so readily,” he feigned disbelief as they entered the church
together. “I may need to lay down.”

“If you believe that will grant you a reprieve from attending services, you’re sorely
mistaken,” she quipped in reply.
Charlotte’s smile wavered as her ears discerned more than one whispered comment as they
walked down the aisle. “You do know that this is tantamount to announcing our engagement
to the entire town?”

It was becoming more apparent to her that the news of their impending nuptials was quickly
spreading through the congregation since the Colbourne family had arrived. She had not
missed the presence of Lady Montrose and her children nor the unhappy look on the duchess’
face when they’d joined the line of those entering the church together. She would not put it
past the duchess to freely express her opinion on the matter to anyone who cared to listen.

His face took on a sour expression. “So I have been told by Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley.”

Charlotte laughed despite her own growing level of discomfort with the number of eyes that
seemed to be turning their way. There was nothing they could do about the inevitable gossip
and rumors that came when a wealthy widower married his former governess and a dark
mood would do little good. “You poor man. The hard part is already over. It appears that
Lady Denham and Lady Montrose have already told half the town. Not to mention Tom and
his carriage drivers.”

“True,” he conceded seriously. “I just wish we could do without the accompanying fuss such
news involves.”

She purposefully chose to ignore exactly what type of fuss he was referring to. “You do not
wish to receive congratulations and well wishes? Are you so ashamed of me already?” she
teased him, still attempting to keep the mood light as they came to the Colbourne family pew.
She caught a sympathetic look from Arthur as she glanced behind them.

“Of course not,” he huffed, his warm eyes locking intently on hers. “I could never be
ashamed of you. I merely do not enjoy the attention. If it was all good wishes directed
towards you, I would be quite content.”

She slipped into the pew behind Leo and Augusta. “So I am to be congratulated for marrying
you but you are not to be congratulated for marrying me?” The smile slipped from her face as
she realized how likely her words were to be true. “I am to be commended for being so
fortunate as to have won the honor which you have so graciously bestowed upon the poor
spinster governess or else accused of using my charms to trick you into marriage.”

He sat down next to her and closed the pew door, his expression apologetic. “That does seem
to be an accurate assessment of what is most likely to occur,” he admitted quietly as he
surreptitiously linked their hands between them beneath the fabric of her coat.

The flow of people taking their seats around them reduced to a trickle. In the soft silence of
the church, she could hear the whispers more easily, the voice of Lady Montrose
unmistakable among them. She stiffened, the hairs on the back of her neck raising as though
the entire congregation was staring at her. The brightness of the day had diminished around
her. Next to her, Xander tightened his grip on her hand before leaning closer, his voice barely
more than a whisper.
 “Pay them no mind, Charlotte. They will think and say as they like and nothing you or I do
can prevent that. It is enough that we know the truth. And we know who the fortunate one is.”

She looked up at him and finding only love in his eyes, smiled in reply. Here she sat with
Xander on one side and Leo and Augusta on the other. Despite what some might say about
the circumstances of their engagement, they were a family and she had never felt more
grateful.

Both of us, she thought. We’re both so fortunate.

Chapter End Notes

I always wanted to see Lady Montrose's reaction to Charlotte and Xander's engagement.
It would have been my favorite scene!

Thank you for the continued comments and kudos. To all the U.S. readers, have a very
Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels if you are visiting family and friends this week!
 Mistress of the Estate
Chapter Summary

Our couple spends some time apart as Xander travels to London while Charlotte
becomes accustomed to the idea of her new role.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Mistress of the Estate

At precisely half past eight on the morning after Leo’s birthday, Charlotte set out for Heyrick
Park, just as she’d done so many times before. Early that morning, Xander had departed with
Susan and Samuel for London. He anticipated his business would keep him away for five
days and had encouraged her to spend as much time at the estate with the girls as she wished
during his absence.

True to his word and much to Leo’s delight, Xander had graciously invited the entire Parker
family to Heyrick Park to celebrate her ninth birthday. For hours, the sound of the shrieks and
laughter of children had filled the house as Leo led her guests on a mission in search of a
treasure, skillfully hidden by Samuel, with the aid of an elaborate map drawn by Augusta.
Once tea and cake had been consumed by all, Xander had herded everyone outdoors to the
large expanse of lawn where he produced four brightly colored kites, one for each child.
After that, the remainder of the afternoon had been spent with the men and children occupied
by kite flying while the ladies watched from the comfort of the terrace with Augusta splitting
her time between both groups.

Charlotte’s heart had felt as though it might burst as she watched Xander on one knee next to
Leo as she gained more confidence in controlling the cheerful red kite as it slowly rose higher
and higher into the air. She could little have imagined such a sight back in the summer when
Xander had begrudgingly joined them for a picnic and their love had taken root.

As she walked, her mind drifted back to the night before, her cheeks flushing at the memory.
Knowing they would be parted for a number of days, Xander had kissed her with more
passion than ever before. Her hand raised to her cheek, following the path his lips had seared
across her jaw before grazing the curve of her ear and then down the sensitive skin of her
neck. When he’d nipped her earlobe and then gently sucked it between his lips, she’d gasped
in surprise at the startling feeling that had shot through her body. By the time he had handed
her into the carriage for the ride back to Trafalgar House, she’d felt as though she might burst
into flames.
The next five days were going to feel interminable. Luckily, she had much to keep her busy.
Starting with a day spent with Leo, Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley. Xander wished for the
housekeeper to show her the house and she wished to take the girls into town to see about
their wedding attire.

“Good morning, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley greeted her as soon as she stepped foot into
the house.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wheatley,” Charlotte returned the older woman’s smile as she removed
her coat, hat and gloves. “I understand we have a full morning ahead of us.”

“Mr. Colbourne has asked me to show you the house so you can familiarize yourself and
determine if there are any changes you’d care to make. I also thought we could begin going
over some of the details of the management of the house.”

“I’m sure I won’t wish to change anything, Mrs. Wheatley,” Charlotte insisted, somewhat
dreading the very idea. Despite Xander’s insistence that she was to consider Heyrick Park her
home and what was his was now hers as well, she was uncomfortable making any decisions
that would involve spending Xander’s money, especially so extravagantly.

“Be that as it may,” Mrs. Wheatley said gently, “Some of the rooms have not been
redecorated since Mr. Colbourne’s mother furnished them nearly forty years ago. Although
many of the rooms are not presently in use, I’m sure that will change over time.”

She had no time to respond before Leo came running into the hall. She bent to embrace her.
“Good morning, Leo! Mrs. Wheatley and I are going to tour the house this morning and go
over some things together but I thought that after lunch, we could go into town with Augusta
to look at fabric for your dresses for the wedding and then we could get tea together? How
does that sound?”

Leo nodded. “I shall enjoy tea,” she said eagerly. “I don’t really want to wear a dress for the
wedding but Papa said if I agree with whatever you and Augusta choose without complaining
that he will buy me a pony and teach me to ride!”

Charlotte laughed, exchanging amused looks with Mrs. Wheatley. “Yes, that does sound like
something your Papa would say. Now,” she stood, resigning herself to the task at hand,
“should we start on the top floor and work our way down?”

*****

Their tour began on the top floor with a brief glimpse into the servant's hall and storage
rooms that contained some older furniture, a handful of dusty paintings and trunks and
wardrobes filled with who knew what. Evidence of small footprints in the dust told her that
Leo was no stranger to the contents of the storage rooms, her now-abandoned red coat and
her father’s old breeches had likely been found amongst the various trunks.

Although there was no particular need, as she was more than familiar with the school room
and the cluttered hallway that led to it, they entered the room where she’d spent so many
hours with Leo and Augusta. For the most part it was unchanged from the day she’d left, only
a few new drawings that had been hung from the twine she’d strung across the wall and
perhaps a new specimen jar or two indicated that any time had passed. She had come to love
her time spent in this room and looked forward to making many more memories here.

Charlotte picked up a paper from the large table in the center of the room, the slanted
handwriting unmistakable. She turned to Leo with surprise. “Your father has been teaching
you up here, Leo?”

“No,” she shook her head, absently rubbing a shell that lay on the table. “He won’t come in
here. He gives me lessons in the drawing room or his study or sometimes we worked out of
doors when the weather was warmer. I liked those days the best but he said I was too easily
distracted.”

Charlotte sank into a chair, her eyes darting between Leo and Mrs. Wheatley. “What do you
mean he wouldn’t come in here?”

Mrs. Wheatley gave her a sad smile. “Mr. Colbourne refused to set foot in this room after you
left. Miss Leonora and Miss Markham have continued their lessons here alone but they also
work in the drawing room at times. Miss Markham has been teaching Miss Leonora French
and the spinet and Mr. Colbourne has been working with her on history, mathematics and the
sciences when his time allows.”

She recalled Mrs. Wheatley’s words when they’d met the morning after Georgiana’s birthday
party. “It was so difficult he wouldn’t even set foot in this room?” She still struggled to
reconcile that Xander had willingly done something so painful to himself because he’d
thought he was protecting her.

Leo nodded, her blue eyes wide. “Father was so sad when you left we didn’t even see him for
a week!”

“Miss Colbourne,” Mrs. Wheatley admonished Leo, albeit without much force.

“Leo,” Charlotte said gently, “it won’t be much fun for you to walk around the house
discussing furniture and draperies. Why don’t you go see if Mrs. Purvis has finished the
baking for tea? Perhaps she’ll give you a biscuit if you ask nicely.”

Leo happily ran from the room, her feet pounding down the hallway. Charlotte turned her
attention back to the housekeeper and sighed. “Mrs. Wheatley, I know your loyalty is to him.
But I need to understand how I can help this family heal together. Please feel free to speak
openly with me. How bad was it?”

“My loyalty is to this family , Miss Heywood. And you are a part of the family now,” she said
before pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts. “The first week was hard on all of
them,” she finally admitted. “Miss Markham was understandably angry and Miss Leonora
was beside herself, sleeping only with her cousin and having nightmares every night.”

Charlotte’s heart sank. Just the thought of so much pain in this house again was upsetting.
“And Xander? I can see he lost weight.”
Mrs. Wheatley nodded. “He didn’t return home for many hours that day and when he did, he
locked himself in his study. He stopped eating and sleeping almost entirely that first week
and hid himself away. I finally stood outside his room one morning until he came out and told
him that he’d wallowed in self-pity long enough. He changed after that, making an effort to
be there for the girls as he had before you’d left, eating meals together and spending time
with them. He tried his very best. They slowly came back to life again, although I can’t say
that Mr. Colbourne was happy . That’s when they left for Bath. He was hoping a new place
would help them all find some peace again.”

Although they had reconciled and forgiven everything that had happened between them,
knowing that he had been so heartbroken after he had sent her away leant a new perspective
on just how much he had sacrificed that fateful day. “He certainly has seemed changed since
his return.”

“I believe he returned with a new resolution to be content with his lot in life and to focus his
attention on doing his best by the girls and the estate. But once you returned, he could not
deny that he loved you any longer. We all saw it in his eyes. I believe he would have done
anything in his power to bring you back.”

The warm feeling she felt whenever she thought about how much Xander loved her spread
throughout her chest. He had proven to her over and over just how much he was willing to do
for her love. “We were such fools, Mrs. Wheatley. It’s a wonder you didn’t take us both in
hand and tell us to stop acting like children.”

The older woman smiled, her eyes dancing. “I cannot say I wasn’t tempted to.” She ran her
hands over her skirts. “Do not get caught up on what might have been, Miss Heywood.
Things have worked out the way they were meant to, of that I’m sure. Within the past month,
Mr. Colbourne has reunited with his brother and now has you back in his life as well. I knew
the day you arrived to interview for the governess position that there was something special
about you and I could tell that he knew it as well, even though he fought against it as hard as
he did. They weren’t a family before you arrived and with you here, they always will be.”

*****

When she’d followed Mrs. Wheatley down the stairs, Charlotte had expected to find the
family and guest bedrooms decorated in the same elegant and understated decor she was
familiar with from the drawing and dining rooms. It seemed that overall, Xander’s mother
had preferred simpler fabrics and less ornate decor and furnishings. The guest rooms in the
east wing, however, appeared even more dated, having not been updated even during his
mother’s time. As hesitant as she was to make any large decisions that involved spending so
much of Xander’s money, even she had to agree that the rooms would require updating before
they could be used.

“Mr. Colbourne’s father disapproved of spending money on rooms that were unlikely to be
used,” Mrs. Wheatley explained, her disapproval evident. “The family did not entertain much
or host guests even when his mother was alive. Some of the draperies and rugs are faded and
frayed and will need to be replaced if these rooms are to continue to be used. Especially if
Mr. Samuel continues to visit with any regularity.”
Moving down the hall into the west wing where the family resided, the first of the family
rooms she was shown belonged to Augusta. Though it had a lovely view and was brightly lit,
the room was rather plain and…well, masculine feeling. It hardly seemed the type of room
that Augusta would choose given the option.

“This was Mr. Colbourne’s room as a child,” Mrs. Wheatley said, as though reading her
mind. “Miss Colbourne is in Mr. Samuel’s old room.”

She made a note to ask Augusta and Leo if they wished to make any changes to their rooms.
She doubted Leo would care much, at least not until she was a little older, but Augusta would
likely appreciate the chance to decorate her room in a style and colors more fitting for a
young woman.

“The nursery is of course unoccupied but it was updated when Miss Colbourne was born,”
Mrs. Wheatley opened the door to the room across the hall from the girls’ rooms. The
furnishings and decor were obviously meant for very young children but did not show the
same level of wear as the other rooms she’d seen. “I imagine that Miss Markham and Miss
Colbourne would take new rooms in the east end of the house when the time comes so any
younger children could be closer to yourself and Mr. Colbourne.”

Charlotte’s face reddened so much that even the usually stoic Mrs. Wheatley chuckled softly.

She was led next to a single door at the end of the hall that could only be Xander’s room.
When opened however, it did not lead directly into a room as she expected but rather a small
hall with two doors facing towards each other. She followed Mrs. Wheatley to the left.

“This is the master’s room and the other room is the mistress of the estate’s room. There are
dressing rooms between the two,” Mrs. Wheatley waved towards a door in the wall shared
with the room next door.

It had not even crossed her mind that they would have separate bedrooms. She was aware that
wealthier families could afford homes that held a sufficient number of bedrooms that such
arrangements could be kept between husbands and wives but she’d never actually given it
any consideration. Her own parents had shared a room for their entire marriage, a necessity
given the number of children and limited number of available bedrooms in the house. She’d
grown up assuming such a thing was completely normal. She found the possibility that she
would sleep alone, away from her husband, disquieting.

Charlotte tried to banish the thought from her head as she took in the dark wood and rich
brocade fabrics the color of dark red wine. She had been curious what the private domain of
her future husband would look like yet the only sign that the room was even occupied was a
large cushion by the fireplace, clearly meant for Luna. The rest of the room was completely
devoid of anything personal. There were no paintings of family, no books beside the chair in
front of the fire or beside the bed, no small trinkets that had been received as gifts or letters
waiting to be replied to. It was as though he was merely a guest in this room, biding his time
until he went home again. If she’d hoped to gain any further insights into the man she was to
marry, she would not find them in this room. There was little to comment on here. They left
the room and walked the few steps to the adjoining bedroom.
Like the other unoccupied rooms they’d seen, the shutters had been opened, allowing light to
stream in. A pile of neatly folded linens in a basket by the door told her that the furniture had,
until quite recently, been covered to protect it from dust. The layout of the room was a mirror
image of Xander’s but primarily in pale green with small touches of a light blue mingled in.
A large painting of flowers hung above the mantle and a mirror in a heavy frame hung above
the dressing table. The furniture was lighter in both color and weight, giving the entire space
an airy feeling that reminded her of the grass covered cliffs above the beach on a sunny day.

“This room remains unchanged since Mr. Colbourne’s mother was alive,” Mrs. Wheatley said
from behind her. “Her tastes were simple. She did not care for overly patterned fabrics or
decorative details.”

“I can tell.” Charlotte ran an appreciative hand over the back of a chair that sat in front of the
fireplace. She turned back to the housekeeper, knowing she must ask the question on her
mind. “Lucy did not…?”

Mrs. Wheatley understood her unspoken questions immediately. “Mr. Colbourne’s late wife
never stayed in this room,” she reassured her. “She stayed in the east wing when she was
here.”

Charlotte nodded, recalling the pain in Xander’s voice when he’d told her Lucy’s story.
Forced to bring her to Heyrick Park, he had placed her as far away from himself as he could.

Forcing her attention back to the task at hand, she walked around the room, taking a closer
look. At first glance, the room appeared to need little work but a closer inspection revealed
that the draperies and rug and even the wall coverings had faded and should probably be
replaced. Yet they were still of higher quality and far more expensive than anything her
family had ever owned. It seemed so strange to her that she had the power to make the
decision to replace such finery because of some fading and fraying that would hardly seem
worth mentioning in Willingden.

She felt Mrs. Wheatley’s gaze upon her, waiting for her to speak. “Forgive me, Mrs.
Wheatley, this is all so foreign to me. I’m not accustomed to making decisions about a house
I’ve never lived in…much less one I used to work in. And while I do see the need for
updating, all of these rooms still seem so elegant and beautiful in the eyes of a farmer’s
daughter and I’m finding it difficult to resign myself to replacing so much.”

“I can understand, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley gave her a sympathetic smile. “When I
first came to work for the Colbournes, I was overwhelmed by this house. It was the grandest
house I’d ever seen and I was so proud to be working in such a fine home. You will become
accustomed to it soon enough and you should try not to think of yourself as a guest or as a
former member of the staff. You are part of the family and Mr. Colbourne wishes for you to
feel that this is your home and that you are free to make any changes that would make you
more comfortable or that you deem necessary. He’ll be the first to admit he’s neglected such
things since he took over the estate. If it helps, perhaps you could view it more as a task that
requires completing rather than something you feel is expected of you. The house should
reflect your pride in being mistress of Heyrick Park.
Charlotte considered the older woman’s words. She had not thought how the house would
appear in the eyes of guests. She would hate for anyone to think Heyrick Park was not the
beautiful home she knew it could be. Without reservation, she should make whatever updates
were necessary to return Heyrick Park to its former elegance. She had grown to love the
estate as much as the family that resided in it and wanted everyone who visited to see that
love reflected throughout every aspect of the house.

Drawing herself up with new determination, she allowed her eyes to rove carefully around
the room again. “It really is a beautiful room, Mrs. Wheatley but I admit it could use some
updating. Perhaps simple patterns in the same color but with more blue’s brought in?”

The housekeeper smiled gently with approval and Charlotte thought she saw a hint of pride in
the woman’s eyes. “I’ll see that everything is taken care of, Miss Heywood. Shall we
continue downstairs?”

The ground floor was much the same as the upstairs rooms. The drawing room and dining
room she was familiar with and were in no need of immediate changes. She was shown the
morning room, breakfast room, staff and storage areas. They walked past the study and
library, both agreeing that no changes were to be made to either room. She was briefly shown
an unused and rather austere bedroom that was tucked away in the far reaches of the east
wing and noted that Mrs. Wheatley made no comment about the room, her expression
suddenly unforgiving.

Returning back down the hallway once more, Mrs. Wheatley opened the door directly across
from Xander’s study. “Mr. Colbourne thought you might like this room as your personal
sitting room. It was his mother’s favorite room but it hasn’t been used since she passed
away.” She moved to the large window, fingering the drapery wistfully. “I’m afraid the
drapes have seen better days, as have the coverings on the chairs and settee.”

The walls were a pale blue while the draperies, settee and chairs were covered in a somewhat
worn but beautiful soft cream fabric embroidered with small flowers in pink, blue and yellow.
A desk sat before the window that looked out upon the back terrace and gardens below. She
could easily picture herself sitting at the desk writing letters to her family and somehow knew
that Xander had also offered her this room because it was so close to his own study.

“It is lovely,” she nodded, running her hand over a cushion. “I wouldn’t change a thing if the
fabrics were in better condition. Perhaps we can find something similar?”

Mrs. Wheatley nodded her assent. “I’m sure we can find something that will suit, Miss
Heywood. Now, how about a cup of tea before we move on to the kitchens?”

“That would be wonderful, Mrs. Wheatley. Thank you.”

Charlotte moved around the room, taking advantage of the moment alone to allow herself to
picture the days she would spend in this room, quietly reading or writing letters with Xander
just across the hall for those moments when she just couldn’t resist seeing him. She was
smiling to herself at the image in her head of just what would happen during those moments
when her eye caught sight of a letter on the desk. Thinking it odd that a letter would be sitting
on the desk after all this time, she moved closer and a warm feeling spread through her at the
sight of her name on the front. The tell-tale handwriting could only be from one person.

She sat down at the desk, her pulse quickening as she opened the seal.

My dearest Charlotte,

By now, I am miserable in London and you are touring Heyrick Park with Mrs. Wheatley. I
hope you will find this room acceptable to use as your private sitting room. If I must be at my
desk working, then I will at least be happy knowing you are so near and only a few steps
away should I wish to gaze upon you adoringly from the doorway.

I have no doubt that you have already repeatedly expressed to Mrs. Wheatley that you do not
wish to make any changes to the house. I’m afraid I’ve neglected that aspect of the house for
far too long. Please believe that you are welcome to change whatever you choose, but if you
are uncomfortable doing so now, then you should wait until you’ve become more accustomed
to the house and your new role. Either way, I am confident that your decisions will be the
right ones.

Know that I miss you and loathe being separated from you once more. I look forward more
and more to the day when we will finally be wed and no longer need to be apart.

With unending affection,

A.C.

P.S. - I care little for furniture and decorations but I do ask that you please leave the study
alone for the sake of my sanity.

Charlotte laughed softly. While certainly not the most poetic or flowery letter a man could
write to his betrothed, Charlotte still found herself a little overwhelmed by the gentle
sentiments it contained. Even from London, he sought to reassure her, knowing that she
would feel hesitant about making such decisions before she had even become used to the idea
that this house was now hers to call home. He cared what decisions she made for the house as
long as she felt no pressure to do so and was happy in the eventual choices she made.

Anxious to leave a reply for him to find upon his return, she went to open the top drawer of
the desk in hopes of finding the necessary items. The drawer caught on something inside,
preventing it from opening all the way. Inching her hand carefully inside, she managed to
maneuver the object enough that the drawer finally released. Removing the item in question,
she realized quickly that it was a small frame, the type that folded closed like a set of doors
and opened to reveal three images. Given what Mrs. Wheatley had said of the room, it had
likely been in the desk since Xander’s mother had last used the room or shortly thereafter.

When opened, the frame revealed three miniature images. The center was of a beautiful dark-
haired woman with soft brown eyes. The pictures on each side were of young boys, the eldest
she estimated to be around eleven or twelve and the younger she guessed to be about six
years old. Her fingers lightly touched the younger boy’s face. His eyes were a match to the
woman while the older boy’s eyes were pale in color.
Mrs. Wheatley returned with a tea tray in hand, setting it down on the table. “I found this in
the desk, Mrs. Wheatley,” Charlotte turned, holding out the frame. “It is Xander, Samuel and
their mother, isn’t it?”

The housekeeper took the frame, her expression softening as she looked once more on the
faces she had not seen in decades. “It is. I haven’t seen this since the late Mrs. Colbourne
passed.” She handed the frame back to Charlotte.

“Are there any paintings of her in the house?”

The housekeeper shook her head. “Unfortunately not. The late Mr. Colbourne destroyed the
only painting that existed not long after she died.”

“What was her name?”

“Julia Colbourne. She was a kind woman and she loved those boys more than anything.”

A sudden thought struck her as she looked at the miniature images of the mother and her two
boys. The very idea was enough to make her unexpectedly excited at the very prospect. “Do
you think I could borrow this, Mrs. Wheatley? I’d return it of course. It’s just…well, I’ve had
an idea but I would need to take it for a while.”

“I don’t see why not,” she agreed. “It’s not as if it will be missed since no one has seen it in
nearly thirty years and, after all, you are the mistress of the estate.”

*****

Although painfully long, Xander found the journey to London by carriage exceedingly
illuminating. Remaining mostly silent, he listened with growing attention to Susan and
Samuel’s easy flow of conversation and learned a great deal about both of them. It became
increasingly obvious to him that he really had been very out of touch with the happenings of
Society, much to his relief. It was a great surprise to him to learn of Susan’s recent role as a
favorite of the King and just how many influential and powerful people in London she was
acquainted with. Although the past decade of Samuel’s life was less colorful, it was
enlightening to hear about the path his brother had chosen instead of managing Heyrick Park
as their birth order had intended. Despite Samuel’s uncanny ability to cause him no end of
vexation, Xander could not help but admit that he was intelligent, charming and resourceful.
Given the proper motivation, he had no doubt that his brother could accomplish anything he
set his mind to.

Arriving at Rook House after their long journey, Xander politely declined the offer of a late
meal from his brother’s housekeeper and fell right to sleep in the bedroom he’d used as a
child. He woke feeling refreshed and determined that he would swiftly accomplish all that he
needed to on his trip to London so that he could return to Sanditon with a clear mind, freeing
himself of those wedding arrangements that most needed his attention and allowing him to
relax and enjoy his time with Charlotte before their wedding to its fullest.

His first errand was to obtain a new suit for the wedding…an errand which Susan insisted on
helping him with, much to his great appreciation. He was not too proud to admit that he knew
little of, and cared even less for, fashion. Generally, he selected his clothing by merely
accepting the suggestions of whichever tailor he happened to be visiting at the time.

Ignoring the rather curious glances they received as they walked down the street, he and
Susan made their way to the Bond Street tailor of her choosing. Although women were not
often seen in a tailor shop, the owner seemed to be well-acquainted with the elegant and
influential Lady Susan de Clemente and was all too happy to set aside other business when
she explained that they needed the garments made quite expeditiously. Having no qualms
about taking advantage of her influence, Xander was all too happy to hand over the
exorbitant fee if it meant the suit would be completed before they left London.

He also relied on Susan to assist in choosing the fabric for his waistcoat, his only input on his
desired cut and that he would like something in blue as Charlotte seemed to prefer shades of
that color in her own clothing. Susan had beamed with approval at his request and quickly
selected a light blue silk with an embroidered pattern of branches and leaves that reminded
him of the trees back at Heyrick Park. In the end, the entire visit was far shorter and less
painful than he expected and for that he was enormously grateful.

Thinking they were done, and quite pleased with himself as a result, he was caught off guard
when Susan then insisted he accompany her to her modiste with the purpose of purchasing
Charlotte a new ball gown as a surprise. Despite his protests, he spent the next hour feeling
extremely uncomfortable as Susan detailed out for the owner of the establishment exactly
what she wanted and Charlotte’s measurements before turning to him once more for his input
on the fabric. After repeatedly insisting he wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to choose as
bolts of cloth were laid out before him, his eyes fell on a silvery blue silk that he immediately
and inexplicably knew would suit his bride far more than any of the more elaborate fabrics in
the shop.

The ever-observant Susan did not miss the subtle shift in his attention and promptly declared
the silk to be the perfect choice. “She will be radiant, Alexander.”

“She would be radiant in a sackcloth, my lady.”

Susan smiled warmly. “You really are perfect for her.”

Heat crept up his neck. “I am far from perfect but I appreciate your confidence in your belief
that I am well-suited to be Charlotte’s husband.”

After seeing Susan safely into a carriage, he had then made his way to his attorney’s office
where he spent the afternoon discussing the terms of his marriage settlement and the
necessary updates he wished to make to his will as a result of his impending marriage. With a
promise that the required documents would be ready the next day, he left the office feeling as
though he had accomplished a great deal in a short amount of time and decidedly less
anxious. After a relatively quiet dinner with just Samuel and Susan, he retired early to his old
room with a book, leaving his brother and Susan alone in the parlor.

The next day was similar to the first. He met with his banker to withdraw additional funds for
the wedding and his broker to review his investments. With a return trip to his attorney’s
office to pick up his documents, his day’s business was once again blessedly complete. After
only three days apart, he found that he missed Charlotte immensely and could not wait to
return home to her, Leo and Augusta. His good fortune was not meant to last, however, as he
was enticed into attending the opera that evening at Susan and Samuel’s insistence. He
accepted reluctantly, feeling it would have been rude to decline, especially after all of Susan’s
assistance.

It became apparent soon after their arrival that he had forgotten just how sharp the eyes,
tongues and memories of the ton were during his years away. He supposed it was inevitable
that the three of them together would not cause at least some raised eyebrows among the
other attendees. Between Susan’s fall from favor with the king, Samuel’s recent high profile
and controversial win in court and his own status as a reclusive cuckold, they were quite the
gossip-inducing trio. Susan and Samuel brushed off the looks and whispers with ease but
Xander found it difficult to ignore the stares and what seemed like an incessant buzzing
around them during the intermission. At least it did not seem as though the news of his
engagement to Charlotte had as yet made its way to the city.

Although he found the opera itself perfectly pleasant, his mind was distracted throughout the
performance. The music and singers made him think of Charlotte and how much he missed
her. By the time the performance ended, he was more than ready to depart the theatre and
found himself standing impatiently with Samuel as Susan was approached by more than one
acquaintance hoping to gain evidence that the gossip they’d heard was indeed true.

Just as he thought Susan had managed to escape from any further inquiries, an elegant
woman with blond hair dressed in a dark violet gown with little adornment approached. She
wore a haughty expression and her eyes roved over both Samuel and himself as though she
was assessing them as she would a potential purchase. He had felt much the same way in
Bath when every eligible young woman and her mother had looked to him as a prospective
husband. Xander found himself immediately determining that he wanted nothing to do with
the woman despite never having so much as said a word to her.

“Lady de Clemente,” she said, her voice dripping with condescension. “How lovely to see
you again. I am surprised to see you given the recent news about your connections . Or
should I say, former connections.”

Xander sensed Samuel stiffening next to him but Susan quickly laid a hand on his brother’s
arm. “Mrs. Parker,” she said with a forced smile. “How delightful it is to see you again. May
I introduce Mr. Samuel Colbourne and his brother, Mr. Alexander Colbourne of Sanditon.”

Susan’s eyes caught his for a brief moment and she gave him the slightest shake of her head
as though attempting to send him some sort of warning. Although his curiosity was piqued,
he had no intention of engaging with the woman even if Susan did approve.

“Sanditon?” Mrs. Parker’s lips pursed as though she’d just eaten something sour. “I suppose
you are acquainted with my late husband’s brothers, then? Tom and Arthur Parker?”

Samuel nodded politely but the hardness in his eyes did not escape Xander’s attention. “We
do indeed have that honor, Mrs. Parker. A fine family, don’t you agree, Xander?”

“Indeed,” he said.
Mrs. Parker’s expression did not give much indication that she agreed with Samuel’s
assessment. “Yes well, I cannot seem to avoid the town. My late husband invested in his
brother’s schemes for the town and now I’m tied to the place.” She glanced at Xander once
more. “You wouldn’t happen to be the Mr. Colbourne that owns an estate outside of town,
would you? A rather large one if I recall.”

“I am, madam. Heyrick Park has been in our family for generations.” Brother? She must have
been married to Sidney Parker. “And please accept my condolences.”

“Thank you, Mr. Colbourne,” she smiled and eyed him speculatively. “If I’m not mistaken,
you experienced the loss of your wife some years ago, did you not? And you’ve not
remarried in all that time?”

Xander cleared his throat at the hint of interest in her voice. His eyes flickered to Susan who
shook her head again. He got the distinct impression that she did not want him to mention his
impending marriage. “You are correct, Mrs. Parker.”

“We’d best be leaving,” Samuel said quickly, clearly catching on to Susan’s silent warnings.
“The carriage is sure to be waiting and we would not wish to take up anymore of your time,
Mrs. Parker. It was indeed a pleasure.”

Ignoring the disappointed look on Mrs. Parker’s face, they bid their goodbyes and moved
quickly to the waiting carriage. They’d barely settled when he turned to Susan for an
explanation. “What was that about? Who is that woman?”

“That was Mrs. Eliza Campion Parker, the widow of Sidney Parker, Tom and Arthur’s
brother. He was Miss Lambe’s guardian and died of yellow fever while in Antigua on behalf
of her interests. But before that, he married Eliza Campion in order to save the Parker family
from ruin after the fire that nearly destroyed half of Sanditon.”

Samuel rolled his eyes. “Well she seemed absolutely delightful. The kind of woman any man
would be happy to marry.”

Susan nudged him with her elbow. “Yes, well, she was about to take an interest in your
brother. Sanditon became much more appealing once she realized its most eligible widower
stood before her.”

“Why didn’t you want me to tell her I was engaged? Surely that would have made it clear to
her to look elsewhere.”

“She would have asked who you were marrying and I did not want Charlotte mentioned in
front of that woman. She has treated Charlotte poorly in the past and I will not give her the
satisfaction of doing so again.”

Xander looked at her sharply, his protective instincts raising to the surface. “What did she do
to her?” he demanded. “What reason could she possibly have to treat Charlotte poorly?”

She hesitated, seeming surprised at his question. “Perhaps I’ve said too much. I would not
wish to say anything that Charlotte has not made known to you already.”
His fists clenched in his lap. “Susan!”

Susan wore a pained look. “Before he married Eliza Campion for her money, Sidney Parker
intended to propose to Charlotte.”

*****

Unsurprisingly, Xander got little sleep that night, his mind whirling from the revelation of
Charlotte’s history with the late Sidney Parker. His thoughts had immediately gone to the
morning after the midsummer ball when she’d told him that she too had known heartache and
betrayal. In the chaos of that day and the days that followed, he’d forgotten she’d shared a
small portion of her own painful past with him under a tree across from the stables. Even
worse, he had dismissed her with so little regard the very next day, clearly causing her to feel
betrayed once again. He chastised himself over and over again for being so selfish as to never
having considered the matter again.

He did not hold it against her that she had not shared more details with him. Surely, if anyone
understood a reluctance to re-open past wounds, it was him. But he desperately wanted to
make it known to her that she could share her past with him if she chose. He could not
fathom that there was even the slightest bit of animosity in the world for Charlotte and could
not comprehend why Mrs. Eliza Campion Parker would feel such a way towards Charlotte
when Sidney Parker had chosen to marry her instead. It made him all the more anxious to
return home as soon as possible.

It was with much relief that he rose on their final day, despite his lack of sleep. His only
remaining unfinished business was to retrieve his suit and to visit the jeweler that had long
been patronized by the Colbourne family. On this errand, he was joined by his brother, a
decision that somewhat surprised Xander when Samuel had requested to accompany him.

Despite not having been inside the shop since the early days of his marriage to Lucy, the
owner recognized him, greeting him enthusiastically. After explaining what he was looking
for, he stood at the counter as tray after tray of sparkling emeralds, rubies, sapphires and
diamonds were laid before him. While any stone would look beautiful on his bride, he was
looking for something very particular. He had just about given up when the final tray was
produced, bearing an elegant diamond necklace that would look stunning with his mother’s
pair of diamond and pearl earrings and the opal and diamond ring that he intended to give
Charlotte on their wedding day.

Samuel let out a low whistle of appreciation. “It is perfect, Xander.”

“I’ll take it,” he nodded his approval to the jeweler. The man could sense that Xander
required no obsequious compliments on his selection and swiftly disappeared to wrap the
necklace and complete the purchase.

Samuel had wandered over to another case, eyeing a beautiful ruby necklace with great
speculation. Xander could practically see his brother’s mind spinning. “There are a pair of
ruby earrings in Mother’s jewelry at home that would match well with that,” he said,
surprising even himself. “You’re welcome to them. You can have the stones reset if they are
not to Susan’s liking.”
Samuel seemed as stunned as he was by his unexpected offer. “Thank you, Brother. That’s
very generous of you.”

Xander gave a curt nod, uncomfortable with his brother’s gratitude. “We both know they
would have been yours anyway. If things had been different.” He turned hastily away. It was
the unspoken barrier between them still, the inheritance that had destroyed their relationship
all those years ago. The topic neither was willing to bring up for fear the old wounds would
be reopened.

“Would you mind terribly if we met Susan, Xander?” Samuel asked as they left the jeweler’s
shop not long after, their purchases in hand. “She’s only a short walk away and I told her
we’d meet her when our business was done.”

Xander shrugged, feeling more than generous now that his own business was complete and
he could return home to the girls and Charlotte. “Of course not.”

He allowed his mind to wander as they walked through the streets, ignoring Samuel’s stream
of meaningless conversation along the way. It gnawed at him that the very day after Charlotte
had told him of her past betrayal that he had treated her with such disrespect and he was
anxious to somehow make amends. After some minutes of walking, they came to a stop at the
bottom of some steps, Samuel checking his watch fob. “Here we are then, right on time.”

Xander blinked, looking up at the imposing building looming above them and then back at
Samuel’s smirking face. Somehow, he knew without even asking what his brother was about
and the still-healing wound that was their relationship twinged deep inside him. “You’re not
serious, Sam.”

*****

In an effort to keep herself from watching the clock as they waited for Susan, Samuel and
Xander to return from London, Charlotte had convinced Augusta to assist her in teaching Leo
how to play whist. They had, rather unfortunately, run into Lady Denham while at tea earlier
in the week and the older woman had loftily informed Charlotte that she would soon begin
receiving invitations to join her regular whist parties at Sanditon House now that she was to
be married to Alexander Colbourne. No one would accuse Lady Denham of not inviting the
wealthiest man in Sanditon’s wife to join her party, even if Charlotte had been considered a
rather outspoken and stubborn woman until she’d accepted his proposal.

Although they had tried with all of their combined powers of persuasion to recruit Mrs.
Wheatley into joining them in their whist lesson, she had politely declined. Without a fourth
player, Charlotte was attempting to play as partner to both girls, causing no end of confusion
and laughter as she tried to be as equally fair as possible to both partners.

They all looked up at the sound of the front doors opening. “It’s Papa!” Leo jumped to her
feet, throwing down her cards. “They are home!”

Leo ran into the foyer while Charlotte and Augusta followed, eager to see the returned
travelers. In the bustle of happy greetings and the removal of coats and hats, Charlotte found
herself somewhat surprised at one particular traveler’s greeting…or rather the lack thereof.
She had expected Xander to be pleased to see her again after five days apart, even eager.
Instead, her betrothed seemed withdrawn, his face bearing a decisively unamused
expression.

“Whatever is the matter?” she asked him, concerned. “Are you feeling unwell?”

“Pay him no mind, Charlotte,” Samuel laughed as he noted her concern. “He is just irritated
with me. As usual.”

Mrs. Wheatley stepped forward. “Your timing is excellent, sir. Dinner is just now ready to be
served.”

Xander nodded. “Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.”

As they all moved into the dining room, Charlotte sidled up next to him. “Is everything truly
alright? You look as though you ate something that disagreed with you.”

He gave her a half-hearted smile. “I am just tired,” he said. “And I would have much rather
been here with you and the girls than in London.”

“We missed you too,” she squeezed his hand, taking some comfort when he returned her
grasp briefly before holding her chair for her. The shadows under his eyes did lend credence
to his claim of merely being tired from their trip.

Dinner was spent giving Susan a detailed account of the progress that had been made on her
trousseau, Leo providing a precise account of just how well-behaved and agreeable she had
been in the selection of both the fabric and design of her and Augusta’s dresses for the
wedding, and Augusta asking Susan for all of the latest news from London. Throughout the
meal, Xander remained oddly quiet, merely nodding or saying one-word answers to the few
questions directed at him.

“My dear Charlotte,” Susan said, exchanging looks with Samuel as the dessert plates were
being cleared. “Samuel and I have been discussing it and we would like to take the girls to
London after your wedding so that you and Alexander can enjoy some time alone. A sort of
honeymoon as it were, even though I know you aren’t traveling anywhere given the weather
and time of year. And then the two of you can join us in London for the last holiday parties
and balls of the season before returning to Heyrick Park for Christmas with the girls. It will
give Augusta a chance to experience London Society and there’s so much there that Leo will
find absolutely enthralling.”

Leo and Augusta’s faces lit up at the prospect. She knew Leo would undoubtedly view the
trip as a grand adventure while Augusta would be excited to return to her former home and to
experience the highest level of Society in the company of someone as elegant and well-
acquainted as Lady Susan de Clemente. It would expand her circle of acquaintances a great
deal, increasing her prospects at finding a potential husband as well as earning her any
number of new acquaintances.

Charlotte glanced at Xander, slightly alarmed to find him now scowling. “That’s a lovely
idea, Susan,” she hedged, unsure how he would wish her to answer based on his sour
expression. “I’m not sure….Perhaps Xander and I should discuss the matter first.” The
excitement on Leo and Augusta’s faces immediately dimmed.

While she personally had every faith in her friend and mentor, there was still the matter of
Susan’s former role as the king’s favorite companion to consider. Surely her status would be
impacted, not to mention her living and financial arrangements. In addition, while hitherto
relatively unknown by Society standards, Samuel’s recent victory in Georgiana’s case had
brought him to the attention of many in London, some of it less than desirable. The two of
them together would raise eyebrows at any gathering.

“Now, I know what you’re going to say,” Susan held up her hand, her eyes flitting briefly to
Leo. The silence that followed was heavy with what remained unsaid. “Of course we’ve
thoroughly discussed every aspect and we believe we have taken care of everything so there’s
no excuse for you not to agree.”

She knew it would be impossible to decline the offer without upsetting both Leo and Augusta
a great deal and she was surprised that Susan and Samuel would broach such a matter in the
presence of the girls. Xander continued to remain silent, his frown only growing deeper,
leaving her feeling completely at a loss as to how to respond. She was unsure what her
influence was in making any sort of decision regarding either Leo or Augusta without his
input.

“That sounds very exciting and I’m sure both girls would love to spend a few weeks in
London. Xander, I am certain you have an opinion on the matter,” she prompted him, hoping
he would finally say something that would help her know where his thoughts lay on the
matter.

“Do not hesitate on Xander’s behalf, Charlotte,” Samuel chuckled at his brother’s stormy
expression. “He has already agreed to our invitation for both girls. He is just unhappy with
the arrangement we have made to ensure their stay will raise fewer eyebrows, so to speak.”
Samuel seemed inordinately pleased with himself.

Charlotte felt at least somewhat relieved to hear that her betrothed had agreed to the
suggested arrangement already, at least according to his brother. “Well, please do share the
details.” Perhaps then she could understand why Xander seemed so out of sorts.

Samuel’s smile widened to a grin. “I’ll let my brother do the honor as I can tell he’s
absolutely dying to share it with you.”

Xander eyed Samuel with disapproval and finally opened his mouth to say more than a single
word since they’d sat down to dinner. “They got married.”

*****

The newlyweds departed Heyrick Park soon after dinner. They would spend the first weeks
of their marriage at Susan’s apartment in Sanditon, still joining them for dinners and wedding
preparations after they’d enjoyed a few days alone together. Susan’s apartment in London
would be relinquished as her belongings were transferred to Samuel’s town house under the
watchful eyes of her loyal staff. Once Xander and Charlotte were married, Samuel and Susan
would return to London but promised to visit Sanditon for the holidays and frequently
thereafter.

“I’ll never forgive him,” Xander grumbled as the carriage pulled away.

Charlotte patted his arm. “If that’s what makes you happy.” She spoke to him with the
patience of a mother to her petulant child.

He returned her teasing with a sharp look but she merely smiled pleasantly back at him. He
sighed. It was impossible for him not to love her, even when he was in a foul mood. “Does it
really not bother you at all?”

She leaned into him. “That Samuel and Susan are married? Certainly not. I am very happy for
them. As you should be.”

He grunted. “I am not unhappy they are married.”

“No, only unhappy they are married before us,” she pointed out.

Of course she would easily ascertain the source of his annoyance with his brother’s sudden
nuptials. He doubted there was little he would ever be able to hide from her. “They’ve only
known each other for a month, Charlotte. Can they really even claim to know one another
well enough to marry within such a short amount of time? Samuel has been an avowed
bachelor his entire adult life and now he’s suddenly ready to marry a woman he just met a
few weeks ago? And she’s willing to give up her title for him of all people?”

Charlotte laughed. “They are in love, Xander. Perhaps you’ve heard of the sentiment?”

“I am fine with them being in love,” he protested. “I just believe they should have waited
longer so they could have been certain it is what they truly wanted before they married.”

She raised one eyebrow. “And if you had not gone back to speak with Colonel Lennox that
day, what were your intentions for us? What would you have said to me under the tree if we
had not been interrupted by Mrs. Wheatley?”

“We knew each other for more than a month,” he protested, his gut clenching at the mention
of the kiss they’d shared beneath the tree that morning.

She rolled her eyes at him. “You can barely claim that, Alexander Colbourne, and you know
it. Our conversations were more often arguments than anything meaningful until just before
the midsummer ball. I had no idea of your true feelings for me until the night before we were
caught under that tree. Were you or were you not ready to propose to me within hours of
kissing me for the first time?”

His lips pressed together in a thin line as he looked past her into the darkness of night. “You
know I was. But it is not the same.”

“No,” she agreed, “everyone’s story is different. But it is their marriage, not ours. So you can
be a little jealous that they married before us if that makes you feel better. But do not hold
their happiness against them for such a silly reason. Our wedding day will be here soon
 enough.” She placed her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. “I’m not going
anywhere, my love. I assure you that my heart is here with you and only you forever.”

He slipped his arms around her, his anxiousness only somewhat eased by her words. “I love
you, Charlotte and I eagerly await the day I marry you.”

She smiled gently and took the lapels of his coat in hand. “Now, enough grumbling about
Samuel and Susan. We have not seen each other in five days and you still have not kissed me.
I am feeling a little neglected.”

“Now that is a problem I shall be all too happy to rectify.” He leaned closer, his nose
brushing hers. It was neither the time nor the place to bring up Sidney Parker. “I cannot have
you accusing me of neglecting my duties.”

Chapter End Notes

I only had a vague plan for this chapter and it just started growing until it became far
longer than I expected so I apologize if it rambles or is slow in portions. The Eliza
Parker run-in was a last-minute addition.

Thank you for your continued support. Your comments mean the world to me.
 Ghosts, Memories and Understandings
Chapter Summary

Xander and Charlotte put their pasts behind them.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Ghosts, Memories and Understandings

Florence Wheatley looked at the clock as she placed the flower bouquets on the hall table.
Xander was later than normal but she supposed that was to be expected given his travel the
day before. He’d been in a sour mood when he’d returned from London and Miss Heywood
had intentionally left early so that he could rest after his journey. Finally the sound of his
boots on the stairs signaled his arrival.

“Good morning, Mr. Colbourne,” she greeted him, watching him carefully.

“Good morning, Mrs. Wheatley,” Xander replied, buttoning his coat. He froze at the sight of
the bouquets on the table, recognition dawning on his face. He sighed, his shoulders lowering
in resignation. “It snuck up on me this year.”

“Perhaps that’s as it should be,” she suggested softly. “Things are not as they once were. Your
life, and those of the girls, have changed for the better. Is it not time to finally say farewell?”

Xander drew a deep breath, his eyes seeking the painting on the wall above the fireplace.
“You’re right, of course, Mrs. Wheatley. I have become so accustomed to the feeling of guilt
that has burdened me these last ten years that it’s difficult to shed it, as it has become like a
second skin.” He turned back to her. “Could you have the painting removed and placed in the
East wing storage? I’ll speak with Leo and Augusta about it later. Perhaps Leo would like to
have it hung in her room.”

“Of course,” she nodded approvingly. “I’ll have it taken care of right away.”

“The girls?”

“They are eating breakfast,” she replied. “I’ll send them along once they are done. It will give
you some time alone with your thoughts before they arrive.”

He nodded and picked up one of the bouquet’s from the table. “If Miss Heywood arrives
while I’m out…”

“She’ll understand, Xander.”

 *****

The morning after Xander returned from London, Charlotte arrived at Heyrick Park just as
the girls would be finishing breakfast. She was surprised to find Leo and Augusta in the foyer
with Mrs. Wheatley, pulling on their coats and gloves. She had planned on spending the
morning going over their wardrobes to ensure they did not need any additional items before
their trip to London.

“Good morning,” Charlotte greeted the group. “Where are you off to so early?”

“To see Aunt Lucy,” Augusta replied, picking up a bouquet of flowers from the table.

Startled at the unexpected response, she looked quickly to Mrs. Wheatley. The housekeeper
tipped her chin, the hint of a sympathetic smile on her lips. Of course , she thought. Lucy
would have passed not long after Leo had been born and they had made a tradition of placing
flowers at her grave each year.

“Will you come with us?” Leo turned to her suddenly, her blue eyes already pleading for her
to agree. “Please!”

Charlotte glanced at Mrs. Wheatley, unsure how to respond. Visiting the grave of Leo’s
mother seemed like such an intimate, private thing for the girls to share.

“Mr. Colbourne left not long ago and will already be paying his respects,” Mrs. Wheatley
nodded reassuringly. “He will not mind if you accompany the girls.”

“I didn’t see the carriage outside.” Nor had she passed Xander on this way to the churchyard.

“The Colbourne family have their own plot on the grounds. It’s not a long walk and the girls
know the way.”

Her eyes were drawn to the wall above the fireplace and her heart inexplicably sank. The
space that had always been occupied by Lucy’s portrait was now bare. So accustomed to the
painting being there, Leo and Augusta made no indication that they were aware of its
removal or, if they were, that it upset them in any way that it was now missing.

She had been all too aware of the painting from the first day she’d entered Heyrick Park.
Lucy’s eyes had stared down at her as she’d removed her hat and gloves, already anxious
about meeting Alexander Colbourne in her pursuit of a position as governess. She’d been
struck by the beauty of the woman with the bright blue eyes and had known instantly that the
portrait must be of Leo’s mother.

As it had become more and more evident that Xander had buried himself beneath the guilt he
felt over his treatment of Lucy and her subsequent death, she’d come to view the painting
with conflicting emotions. She knew that he had meant for the portrait to show Leo that her
mother was not forgotten but it had also become a reminder of the self-imposed penance he
had convinced himself he owed to Lucy’s memory. Now that the portrait was gone, she
wondered if he had done it because he truly felt that it was time to leave his past behind him?
That his penance was complete? Or had he only done it because he thought it was what she
wanted him to do?

She turned to Mrs. Wheatley as Leo and Augusta stepped outside. “What happened to the
painting?”

“Mr. Colbourne requested it be moved into storage until he’s had a chance to speak with Miss
Colbourne about it. She may decide she’d like the painting hung in her bedroom.”

A sigh escaped her lips. The last thing she wished was for Leo to feel that her mother had
been replaced, with all reminders of the woman who’d given birth to her, hidden away and
never spoken of again. She could not be convinced that, despite the manner of her death,
Lucy had not loved the child she had grown beneath her heart for nine months. And she had
no doubt that, in Lucy’s mind at least, Leo had been conceived in love.

“Do not read more into it than what it is, Miss Heywood,” Mrs. Wheatley said gently. “Mr.
Colbourne has worked so hard to put the past behind him. There have been too many ghosts
in this house for far too long. It’s time for him to set this one aside.”

*****

From the moment in his childhood when Xander had been released to roam the thousand acre
Colbourne estate alone, he’d only found one spot on the grounds that he truly disliked.
Logically, he could admit that the family plot was tucked away in a pleasing and peaceful
location. It did not disrupt the natural beauty of the grounds and he could easily enjoy
roaming the estate without giving the area much, if any, thought. But he found no peace in
the place, only reminders of the losses and pain in his life since his childhood.

After his mother’s death, he would have stayed as far away from the place as possible if Mrs.
Wheatley had not insisted he return once a year to pay his respects. Those visits had stopped
once he’d left for school and, with the exception of the day of his father’s burial, had not
resumed until Lucy’s death nine years ago. Since then, he’d forced himself to return once a
year to pay his respects to his mother and to beg Lucy’s forgiveness once again.

Approaching the quiet, isolated area, he surveyed the neat rows of his ancestors.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins he’d never known. The mausoleum that his great-
grandfather had built, a tribute to his own self-importance despite never having lived on the
land he’d only purchased a few years before dying. He walked past the stone bearing the
name of Charles Colbourne, gone these past ten years, but not missed by those that still
remained. His grandfather Samuel, the one who’d built Heyrick Park into a successful estate.
And the small stones that marked the resting places of the siblings that might have been.

Lucy had been placed at the end of a row, next to some cousin who had died before he’d been
born. He stood before the plot for a moment, reading the stone, the dates painfully close
together. “Another year has passed, Lucy,” he said finally. “We just celebrated Leonora’s
ninth birthday. You would be so proud of her. She’s so intelligent and has such spirit in her.
Her smile and the way she sees joy in everything around her reminds me so much of you.
She’s a tribute to you and such a light in my life. Every day, I’m thankful for the gift you
gave me when she was born.
“Augusta misses you very much. She’s turning into such a strong, beautiful young woman. I
know you would have taken such delight in seeing her out in Society, looking just as elegant
as you did when we met. You would be so proud of both of them. I promise to continue to
strive to be the father and uncle that Leo and Augusta deserve.

“I’m not going to apologize again for my actions and words. It’s time that I finally say
goodbye and let all of the guilt I’ve allowed to continue to live inside me go. I owe it to
myself and the girls. For too long, I believed that I didn’t deserve to be happy because of the
way I treated you in the end. But I’ve come to realize that you would never have wished that
on me. You were so full of joy and life and loved nothing more than to see those around you
happy.

“I’ve finally found my happiness, Lucy. And now it’s time I accept peace within myself as
well.” Removing a single bloom from the bouquet, he crouched down, brushing aside a few
leaves that had not yet been removed by the gardener, and placed the bouquet before the
stone. “Goodbye, Lucy. Rest well.”

*****

Although Leo was her usual effusive self as they set out from the house, she gradually
became more subdued as they walked further into the grounds. The small group paused at the
top of a rise, the path cut through the grass giving way to a peaceful clearing backed by a
wall of trees that seemed to lean forward protectively over the charges that had been left in
their care. From their vantage point, she could easily see the Colbourne family plot with its
small mausoleum behind a low stone wall. A number of additional headstones marked the
final resting places of Xander’s ancestors in the quiet clearing. It was certainly a beautiful
and peaceful place.

Charlotte stopped and gave Leo’s hand a brief squeeze before the cousins continued on, hand
in hand. She stood on the rise, watching the quiet scene unfold before her. Xander stood
among the stones at a place close to the wall. As she watched, he pulled a single flower from
the bouquet in his hand before slowly crouching and placing the flowers on the ground. He
stood and walked some distance up the row of stones, stopping at another grave where he
placed the single flower.

“Good morning, Charlotte.”

Charlotte glanced to the side. “Good morning, Samuel. I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

“I left a few things in my room and came to fetch them while Susan has an appointment at
the modiste.” His brow furrowed. “I didn’t know of the importance of this day until Mrs.
Wheatley told me upon my arrival.”

“Neither did I,” she admitted. “To be honest, I know little of the timing or circumstances of
Lucy’s death.” It was sufficient that he had trusted her enough to share the truth of Leo’s birth
with her, even if she’d given him little choice in the matter at the time.

Samuel watched his brother and the girls for a minute in quiet contemplation. “I haven’t been
here since my father died,” he said, his voice soft.
“We all mourn in our own ways.”

He nodded. “I should have been here for Xander when Lucy died but I didn’t think he’d want
me to come.”

Charlotte reached out, placing her hand on his arm. “You shouldn’t blame yourself any more
than Xander should continue to blame himself for her death.”

Samuel sighed. “That’s where you’re wrong. I should have tried harder to remedy our
relationship years ago. After our father died, the last place on earth I wanted to be was
Heyrick Park. It was a house full of pain and darkness for me. I fear its memories haunted
Xander even before Lucy died. He was always prone to spending time alone and keeping his
feelings to himself, even as a small boy. Her death only led him to shut himself away even
more.” He looked over at her. “Until you arrived and brought him back to life. And for that I
thank you.”

She gave him a small smile. “I’ve seen the fondness you have for each other, Sam. Is it not
time for the two of you to move on together?”

He nodded but remained silent, watching his brother as he crouched before the second, more
elaborate headstone. “Your mother?” she asked finally.

“Our mother,” he confirmed.

“He doesn’t speak of her much. How old were you when she passed?”

“Fourteen. I left for boarding school shortly afterwards, leaving Xander alone with our father
and a tutor who was far less friendly to his charges than you. I fear that was the start of our
relationship breaking down. He never forgave me for leaving him.” He kicked at the ground
with the toe of his boot.

“How old was he?”

Samuel squinted into the distance. “He was just eight years old.”

Charlotte’s heart ached. She thought of her own younger siblings at that age and Leo as well.
How alone Xander must have felt to suddenly be left by himself on the large estate, his
beloved mother and brother both taken from him.

“You had no choice,” she said softly. “I know Xander understands that now, even if he didn’t
at the time. Don’t underestimate his ability to forgive, Samuel. He’s learning to forgive
himself. I know he can forgive you too.”

Samuel grasped her hand for a moment before taking a deep breath and walking towards
where his brother still stood. He made his way to stand next to Xander, clapping his hand on
his shoulder. Leo and Augusta left Lucy’s grave and joined the two men, Leo’s hand slipping
into her uncle’s. They stood together for another minute or two before Xander turned and
began to walk towards her.
She watched as the man she loved with all her heart strode towards her. Something about the
way he held himself seemed as though a weight had rolled off his back. He smiled and took
her hand. “Take a walk with me?”

*****

Xander had felt lighter as he walked away from Lucy and towards Charlotte, as though he
could easily rise into the air. Releasing his pent up guilt had eased his soul far more than he’d
expected. And seeing Charlotte waiting for him, radiant in the morning sunshine, was a
soothing balm to his heart.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night,” he said as they walked next to each other,
her hand tucked into his arm. “I was tired and out of sorts from being in London. I admit I am
jealous of Susan and Samuel for marrying so easily, as though it required no thought or
planning. After all we’ve been through, waiting to marry you seems like an eternity.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Xander. I understand how you feel. I’m anxious for our
wedding to be here as well. But I’m sure the days will pass quickly and soon enough it will
be our turn.”

They stopped beneath a large oak, its branches nearly bare of leaves. She shivered as the
autumn wind picked up. “You’re cold,” Xander rubbed her arms briskly. “You don’t have a
warmer coat?”

“If you recall, I wasn’t supposed to stay in Sanditon for more than a few days nearly a month
ago. I left my warmer garments at home.”

“I don’t suppose you ordered a new one from Griffins?” He raised his brows hopefully.

Her lips curved into a smile. “Actually, I did. You will be happy to hear that I am quickly
overcoming my aversion to spending your money.”

He laughed. “As I said before, what’s mine is now yours. I trust you will not send us to the
poor house anytime soon. You went through the house with Mrs. Wheatley?”

Her smile dimmed. “I did.”

“What is it? Do you have concerns about the house? It has sat as it is for years. If you wish to
wait to make any changes, you are free to do so.”

She shook her head. “No, that’s not it. I agree that there are some changes that should be
made. I would love to see the house restored to its former beauty throughout.”

“Then what is it? I can tell something is bothering you, Charlotte.”

She hesitated for a moment before finally speaking. “When I arrived at the house this
morning, I noticed that you had Lucy’s portrait removed.”

His eyes widened in surprise at her seeming disapproval. He’d expected Charlotte to be
pleased that the portrait had been removed. He’d assumed that most women would not care to
have a painting of their husband’s late wife hung where all could see it, a daily reminder of
his past marriage. “I didn’t think you’d be opposed to having it moved. I do plan on speaking
to Leo about it,” he attempted to reassure her. “We’ll hang it in her room, if that’s what she
wishes.”

“You needn’t have taken it down,” she protested. “She’ll always be Leo’s mother. You don’t
have to do it for my sake.”

“Charlotte, I didn’t take it down for you. I did it for all of us. I felt so much guilt and shame
about how I treated Lucy in the end that I felt obligated to leave that painting there, as though
I owed it to her as some form of penance. But I’m determined to let the past go. Heyrick Park
is your home now as well as mine and the girls’. The painting will be moved to wherever Leo
chooses. And if she doesn’t want it now, I will keep it for her until she’s older.”

She bit her lip, her eyes downcast. “If you still have feelings for Lucy, I understand.”

“No, Charlotte,” he shook his head, struggling for the right words. He sighed. “I…I’m not
very good at finding the words to express myself,” he said ruefully.

“You underestimate yourself. I think you’ve managed to be quite eloquent when you want to
be.”

He managed a somewhat embarrassed smile. His cliff-top declarations were most assuredly
out of the ordinary.

“I didn’t love Lucy when I married her,” he finally admitted. “But I did care for her and I had
hoped that we would grow to have some amount of love between us. I had hoped for the
family and home that I didn’t have as a child. But those feelings vanished once I learned of
her affair with Lennox. I regret the anger I felt towards her and the way that I treated her
before her death. She was always one who wanted to make others happy and I’m certain
Lennox took advantage of that aspect of her nature. I regret that I allowed my guilt to keep
me from living my life for the past nine years. But I do not still harbor feelings for Lucy
beyond gratitude that despite everything that happened, she left me with Leo.”

“She was your wife, Xander. It’s only natural that you would still have some feelings for
her,” she insisted. “I will always have a small place in my heart for….” She stopped as
though she realized what she was about to say, her cheeks flushing.

His heart sank a little at her hesitancy in sharing her feelings with him. “For Mr. Starling?” he
prompted. “Or were you referring to Sidney Parker?”

A small sound of surprise escaped her. “How do you know about Sidney?”

*****

“In London, Susan and Samuel insisted I accompany them to the opera one evening,” Xander
explained. “A woman approached and Susan introduced her to us as Mrs. Parker, the wife of
the late Sidney Parker, Tom and Arthur’s brother.” He cleared his throat. “When Mrs. Parker
realized who I was, she seemed rather interested in the fact that I had never remarried after
Lucy died. Susan seemed rather anxious that I not tell Mrs. Parker that you and I were
engaged. When I pressed Susan as to why I should not have mentioned our impending
nuptials, she told me that Mrs. Parker had treated you poorly in the past…because her
husband had once intended to marry you, not her.”

Guilt knotted in Charlotte’s stomach. She had never meant to hide her past feelings for
Sidney from him. The opportunity to share that part of her past with him had not presented
itself since they’d reconciled. She had rightfully been so focused on finally resolving
everything with Xander, the joy of their engagement and the plans for their wedding, that
telling him about Sidney had not even crossed her mind.

“That’s the heartache and betrayal you mentioned that morning, isn’t it? He had said he
intended to propose to you but instead he married her?”

To her relief, his voice was calm without any hint of accusation. She closed her eyes for a
moment, the memories washing over her once again. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything from
you.”

“I know, Charlotte,” he said gently. “I’m not angry or hurt that you didn’t tell me. I didn’t
mention Sidney Parker to bring you more pain and, even now, you don’t need to tell me
anything you do not wish to share. I understand we haven’t had time to speak of such things
with everything that’s happened. And it’s my fault you never had the chance to tell me before
now, if you’d even wanted to. I’d forgotten all about it until I was in London and we ran into
Mrs. Parker.”

He was not asking for her story or explanation, yet she felt she owed it to him. She wanted
him to know. But how did one go about telling the man you loved and were about to marry
about the man you would have married if things had been different?

Sensing the conflict inside her, Xander guided her beneath a tree and sat himself down on the
ground, so he could lean back against the trunk. Opening his coat, he patted the place
between his legs. “Come sit.”

Raising her eyebrows at the rather improper suggestion, she turned and settled herself
between his legs. He wrapped his coat and arms around her, pulling her gently against his
chest, his warmth enveloping her. “There. Now, I promise you will not upset me, no matter
what you say, so speak freely.”

His generous understanding infused her with a warmth that rivaled that of his body pressed
against hers. “I met Sidney the first summer I came to Sanditon to stay with Tom and Mary.
At first, he was arrogant and condescending and treated me with very little respect. But over
time, we began to grudgingly accept each other. And then I began to see the true Sidney
Parker.” She shifted so she could turn to look at him. “He hid himself away nearly as well as
you did.” Xander gave her one of his barely-there smiles and kissed her temple.

“We developed feelings of affection for each other,” she continued, feeling safe in the circle
of his arms. “I won’t deny that I had thought myself in love with him. And I would have
married him if he’d asked me to.” His arms tightened ever so slightly around her, as though
assuring himself that she was his, but he didn’t speak. “But that’s not what happened. In the
end, he chose to marry Eliza Campion for the money she would bring to the marriage that
could save Tom from ruin and rebuild Sanditon after the fire.

“Sidney did what he felt he must for his family, even knowing that it would hurt me. And
then he died of yellow fever in Antigua and I swore that I would never again put myself in a
position to be hurt. I swore that I would make my own way in life, without a man dictating
my path for me.”

His chest rose and fell behind her. “You told me you had sworn off love yet you opened your
heart to me anyway.” His voice was low and gruff in her ear. “I can’t imagine how betrayed
you felt when I pushed you away.”

“Xander,” she turned once more to look at him.

He shook his head, refusing to hear any protest. “I knew, Charlotte. You told me you’d been
hurt and I broke your heart anyway.”

“We cannot choose who we fall in love with,” she reminded him as she pressed her hand
against his cheek and looked into the depths of his warm, brown eyes. “I forgave you,
Xander. Because I love you and we forgive those we love.” Xander closed his eyes, his head
hung low as he took in her words. “I know now that I didn’t love Sidney the way I love you.
What I feel for you is so much more than I ever could have imagined. I will always remember
Sidney with sadness and affection, but my heart is yours and always will be. Sidney is part of
my past, just as Ralph is. But you are my future, Xander.”

They remained seated together, his arms protectively wrapped around her, for some time.
Charlotte could easily imagine such a scene repeating itself in the years to come as they
wandered the grounds, enjoying their time together. She might even have to suggest such
moments on a regular basis. But moments were not made to last forever.

Xander shifted behind her and kissed her cheek. “As much as I wish we could stay here, I
must visit the milking barn. The cold from the ground is seeping into my bones and if we stay
here much longer, I’m afraid I won’t be able to walk you back to the house, much less ride
Hannibal.”

She laughed and stood up, brushing herself off before offering him a hand. “Come on then,
old man. We’ll warm your old bones back up by walking.”

“There’s no need to age me unnecessarily, Charlotte,” he grumbled as he pushed himself up

from the ground. “I am not that much older than you.”

*****

It wasn’t much more than an hour later that Xander appeared in the kitchens where Charlotte,
Leo and Mrs. Wheatley were discussing the plans for their upcoming visit to Willingden. He
was covered in mud and struggling to hide the pained expression on his face.

Alarmed, Charlotte rushed to his side. “What happened?”

“I strained my back. I’ll be fine once I rest for a while.” His wince of pain as he shifted his
weight told her otherwise.

“How did you manage to do that?”

“I was at the milking barn when one of the milk carts came back from delivering in town
with a cracked axle. It broke right as the driver was trying to remove the milk canisters and
landed on his foot. I strained my back helping to lift the cart off of him.”

“Is he alright?”

He shook his head. “At the very least, his foot is broken. Two of the men took him to the
doctor. As soon as I’ve changed, I’ll need to write a letter to Dr. Fuchs to let him know to
send the bill to me.”

“After you’ve changed, you’ll rest ,” Charlotte countered firmly. A moment passed between
them, their eyes locked, but he made no attempt to argue. “Right then. Leo,” Charlotte turned
to the little girl who was staring at her father with concern, “would you please go find your
uncle and ask him to come here? And then go stay with Augusta while we see to your father?
I’ll come and find you later.” She nodded and ran down the hall, happy to have some task to
occupy her. “Mrs. Wheatley, we’re going to need towels and hot water. Do you have any
liniment?”

Mrs. Wheatley looked slightly offended at her question. “Of course. It will only take a few
moments to gather everything.”

She gave Mrs. Wheatley an apologetic smile and turned back to Xander. “Do you think you
can manage the stairs if Samuel helps you?”

“I don’t require assistance,” he insisted. “I just need to lie down for a while.” She narrowed
her eyes at him and his shoulders slumped a bit in concession. “Yes, I can manage the stairs if
Sam helps.”

Samuel appeared in the doorway. “What happened, Xander? Out playing farmer in the mud,
were you?” He brushed off his brother’s scowl with a chuckle. “Shall I fetch the doctor?”

“No. He’ll be busy with young Woodson’s foot. I’ll not bother him for a strained back.
Nothing can be done except rest anyway.”

“He could give you something for the pain,” Charlotte pointed out.

His expression hardened even more, if such a thing was even possible. “Absolutely not.”

“Xander….” Sam sighed.

“No, Sam,” he cut his brother off, his tone sharp. “Could you just help me upstairs? I need to
change out of these muddy clothes and I’ll need assistance with my boots.” With a grunt and
grimace, he stood and began making his way slowly towards the stairs, Samuel in tow.
Mrs. Wheatley reappeared with a basket of towels, a bottle of liniment and a kettle of hot
water. “He won’t thank us for this,” she warned. “He’s always been stubborn when it comes
to accepting help.”

Charlotte took the basket from her hands. “I didn’t expect anything less, Mrs. Wheatley.”

They found Samuel leaving Xander’s bedroom. He took one look at their arms full of
supplies and chuckled. “I wish you both the best, ladies. He’s like a bear with a sore foot.”

Charlotte smirked. “I’m sure we’ll manage well enough. Would you be able to find me a
stool?”

He dipped his head. “Of course, dear sister. Anything you need.”

Xander raised his eyebrows as the two women entered his bedroom, his fingers paused on the
buttons of his newly donned clean shirt. “Charlotte, you shouldn’t be in here. There’s no need
to fuss over me,” he said gruffly. “I promise to lay down and rest.”

“It would be best to treat the strain now before the muscle tightens any further,” Mrs.
Wheatley said firmly, ignoring his protest. “Heat and liniment worked into the muscle right
away is best.”

“I agree, Mrs. Wheatley.” She eyed him up and down as he reached for his waist coat. “You’ll
need to raise your shirt and lay down on your stomach.”

“Charlotte,” he protested, “it’s not appropriate.”

“Propriety is for the healthy and uninjured, Xander. I have been assisting my mother with the
ill and wounded in our village for years. I have seen men without their shirts on before.”

His jaw tightened stubbornly, a strange expression on his face. “I’ll be fine.”

“Is there some reason you do not wish for me to help you? And do not say it is because it’s
not appropriate.” His refusal to accept her assistance pricked painfully at her heart.

His lips pressed tightly together as he looked at her with desperate defiance. Mrs. Wheatley
stood patiently waiting for one of them to surrender to the other. The silence in the room
grew unbearable. “Am I not to be allowed to care for my own husband when he needs me?”
The hurt in her voice was evident to even her ears. He closed his eyes, his throat bobbing as
he swallowed whatever excuse he had waiting. “We are to be married in just a few weeks ,
Alexander. Or have you forgotten?”

His expression softened into one of helplessness, but no words of explanation left his lips.
She turned to leave. Her frustration had reached the point where she was either going to
scream or cry, neither of which she cared to do in front of him. He could accept help from
Mrs. Wheatley or none at all, but she would not sit by his side, ignoring her own pain as well
as his.

He caught her hand. “Charlotte,” her name was a plea on his lips. “Please don’t leave.”
 *****

She met his gaze, waiting for him to explain himself, her arms crossed in the way she did
when she was irritated with him. Unlike the times in the past when she’d expressed her
exasperation with him, he was no longer afraid that he would lose any hope of her returning
his affections. Yet, he wished it was that simple.

He cleared his throat. “It would be inappropriate for you to do what you are suggesting as a
treatment.”

She narrowed her eyes. “And it was not inappropriate of you to declare your love for me
when I was engaged and ask me to marry you instead?”

“ Charlotte ,” he groaned, his eyes darting to Mrs. Wheatley. He could swear her brow had
twitched in surprise at this new revelation.

“Pffh,” Charlotte waved her hand, dismissing his concerns over the housekeeper learning
things she should not know. “I am not convinced that Mrs. Wheatley doesn’t have the
knowledge of Athena herself. Certainly she is all too aware of the goings on in this house and
your mind. She may disapprove but she can hardly be surprised you would do such a thing.
Are you going to allow me to help you or not?”

He threw his arms up in the air and hissed from the pain that immediately followed. “You are
the most stubborn person I have ever met!”

“Then you, sir, would do well to look in a mirror more often.” She gave him a pointed look as
she crossed her arms over her chest once more. “Perhaps you could take a razor to your
cheeks while doing so.”

He gaped at her, caught off guard by her sharp retort. An unexpected bolt of desire shot
through him and he nearly groaned out loud. He had not seen her display such fierceness of
spirit since the day she’d declared the house a mausoleum and taken him to task for ignoring
his niece and daughter. He’d never wanted to kiss her more in his life.

A quick glance across the room revealed Mrs. Wheatley was sucking her lips between her
teeth in an effort to suppress her amusement at him being treated in such a manner. Shaking
his head in disbelief, he allowed the laughter that was building inside him to escape. Another
burst of sharp, burning pain shot through his back and he collapsed onto the side of his bed
with a grunt. “For God’s sake, Charlotte, it hurts!”

She placed her hands on her hips with an exasperated sigh. “Then stop being so quarrelsome
and let me help you!”

His eyes moved back and forth between Mrs. Wheatley’s amused yet disapproving
expression and the delighted look on Samuel’s face as he stood in the doorway, a stool in
hand. “ Fine.” He pulled his shirt off and practically threw himself facedown on the bed,
relinquishing any remaining fight he had within him as he wrapped his arms around a pillow,
balling it up beneath his head.
With an air of absolute calmness, Charlotte took the stool from Samuel, shooed him away,
and sat down beside the bed. The expression on her face remained placid, as though no
disagreement had occurred between them, but her eyes still flashed with the fire of her
emotions. “Was that really so difficult?” she asked in a flat voice as she opened the bottle of
liniment.

“Heaven help us,” Mrs. Wheatley said from her place next to the fire where she’d hung the
kettle to keep it hot. “This house will fall down around us all should the two of you ever have
a real disagreement.”

Another hiss escaped him at Charlotte’s first tentative touch. She began to run her fingers
over his back, eliciting a painful groan from him when she located the strained muscle. As
she increased the pressure, he buried his face into the pillow and muttered every epithet he
knew. Charlotte tutted at him, clearly not as sympathetic to his predicament as he wished.
After the initial burst of pain had passed, the minutes that followed were a torturous mix of
discomfort, relief and a fair amount of desire as the tightened muscles began to ease and he
began to find it more difficult to ignore the way her hands moved across the plains of his
back. When another quarter hour of her agonizing treatment had passed, towels soaked in hot
water were placed on his back and he exhaled with relief, relaxing the tight hold he’d had on
the pillow beneath his head.

Charlotte wiped her hands on a cloth and ran her fingers across his forehead, brushing his
hair aside. “Better?”

“Yes,” he admitted in a strained voice. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She stood, pushing the stool aside. “We’ll need to apply new towels in a
few minutes when those begin to cool.”

He looked at her over his shoulder. There was something in her tone that gave him pause. He
could see the hurt in her eyes from his reluctance to allow her to help him. He had vowed that
he would never intentionally cause her pain again, and he had already broken his word. Once
again, he owed her an apology.

“Mrs. Wheatley, would you leave us please?” The housekeeper raised her eyebrows
disapprovingly at the idea of the two of them alone together in his bedroom. “I promise we
shall be the very image of decorum.”

He waited until Mrs. Wheatley had reluctantly left the room, the door remaining open as a
warning to behave themselves in her absence, before reaching for Charlotte’s hand and
pulling her down to sit next to him. “You’re angry with me.”

She was silent for a long moment, until finally she knelt on the floor next to the bed, bringing
her face even with his. “I still do not understand why you objected so much to my helping
you.”

It was both a blessing and curse that he was lying prone on his stomach, unable to move. He
wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her. Yet the position had
disguised the very reason he had objected to her ministrations to begin with. The heat of
embarrassment crept up his neck. “Charlotte, I have every faith in your abilities to nurse me
back to health if I’m ill or treat most any wound I may unfortunately obtain.” He sucked in a
deep breath, feeling decidedly uncomfortable. He would simply have to ignore the
embarrassment he felt and be blunt with her. “You have knowledge of the relations that occur
between a man a woman when they marry?”

Her cheeks flushed at his unexpectedly direct question but she recovered quickly. “I am a
farmer’s daughter, Xander, and have seen all manner of animals in the springtime. I also had
the rather memorable experience of sitting next to my sister, on the eve of her wedding, as
our mother went into great detail about what happens between a husband and a wife. I am not
ignorant as to what happens in a marriage bed.”

He nodded, wishing that her response had alleviated more of his discomfort than it had. But if
he could not be open with his wife, what kind of a marriage could he expect them to have?
“Charlotte, until the night we first kissed, I hadn’t touched a woman in nearly ten years. Since
that night, my desire to be near you, to hold you in my arms…grows stronger each minute
I’m in your company. It tests all of my powers of restraint every time I so much as kiss you.
Having you touch me like you just did, even though I was in pain, it…it was not easy for
me.”

Her blush deepened as the meaning of his words became clear. “I had not considered that it
might be uncomfortable for you.”

“There’s no reason you should have,” he reassured her. “I will survive your ministrations, no
matter how trying I find them to be. And I do appreciate you wanting to care for me. I would
expect nothing less from you.” He pressed his lips against her knuckles. “Am I forgiven?”

Her soft smile did not reach her eyes.

“There is something else bothering you, isn’t there? Please tell me so that I can reassure you
that everything will be fine.”

She pursed her lips and blew a determined huff of air from her nose. “Do you mean for us to
keep separate bedrooms after we are married?” The question spilled from her as though it had
been on the tip of her tongue just waiting for some excuse to say it.

His eyes widened in surprise followed swiftly by a clenching in the pit of his stomach, as
though a fist had gripped him deep inside and twisted into a knot. It was a topic he’d dreaded
since he’d proposed. He cleared his throat, wishing he could bury his face back into his
pillow. “The room is yours, Charlotte. Whether or not I share your bed with you is your
decision to make, not mine.”

“It is not my bed.”

He propped himself up on his elbows, confused by her proclamation. “It is. That is the bed in
the mistress of the estate’s bedroom.”

With a firm set of her jaw, she rose and began preparing new towels for his back. “Whether in
this room or the room you’ve given me, I choose to sleep in our bed.”
Xander stared at her, fighting the sudden urge to get off the bed and pull her into his arms. “If
that is what you wish,” he said, struggling to keep his voice calm. The relief he felt nearly
made him laugh out loud once more.

She frowned as she wrung water from the cloth in her hands. “Do you not wish to share a bed
with me?”

“Charlotte!” He could hardly believe she was asking him such a question. If she only knew
how much effort he spent on keeping the passion he felt for her contained.

“Lucy chose to keep her own room, didn’t she?”

“We never really discussed it,” he admitted. “My parents kept separate rooms and I thought
that was how every marriage was. In my naiveté and embarrassment at broaching such a
matter with her, I assumed it was her preference and she never said anything that led me to
believe otherwise. And then it hardly mattered as she was in London and I was here.” He
despised the look of sympathy that crossed her face.

She returned to his side, changing the cloth on his back for a new one. “I wish to share a bed
with my husband as my parents have always done,” she said. “As you can imagine, in a
house with twelve children there was hardly room for them to keep separate bedrooms, a
factor that I’m certain greatly contributed to that same number of children to begin with. Yet
after four and twenty years of marriage, they love each other as much today as they did the
day they married. I can only believe that their fondness for each other is encouraged, not
hindered, by their continued close proximity to one another.”

The laughter he’d been suppressing at the ridiculousness of her question finally escaped him.
“I shall continue this rather unorthodox conversation, since that is clearly your preference,
and we have agreed to be honest with each other.” He caught her hand and looked her
directly in the eyes, his neck and ears feeling rather warm. “It is my desire for us to share
every aspect of our lives together, including our bed. But I will never force you to share a bed
with me if you do not wish to do so.”

The pretty pink blush reappeared on her cheeks but he could see how pleased she was when
she finally raised her eyes to look at him again. The deep ache for her inside of him grew
exponentially.

She knelt back beside the bed once more. “I will not deny you our marriage bed, Xander.
Unless one of us is sick or we are separated due to unavoidable circumstances, I expect us to
be together, always.” She brushed his cheek with her hand before kissing him gently on the
lips.

“I love you, Charlotte.”

“And I you, my love.”

He clasped her hand tightly as she moved to stand up. “Do you really wish for me to shave
more often?”
 “No,” she laughed softly, tweaking his chin between her thumb and forefinger. “I find I have
grown quite fond of your whiskers after all.”

Chapter End Notes

I had hoped to have this chapter out sooner, but real life and motherhood took
precedence this week. Luckily, I already have a large portion of the next chapter written
already.

Thank you all for the continued support!

 Return to Willingden
Chapter Summary

Charlotte and Xander visit Willingden in hopes of receiving her father's blessing.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Return to Willingden

Since ending her engagement to Ralph, Charlotte had looked at each new letter that arrived
from Willingden with some level of apprehension. Although her father had been exceedingly
kind in his response, she’d still sensed his disappointment over her broken engagement. After
all, her parents and the Starlings had discussed the marriage of their eldest children since
their infancy. Her worry had only increased when she’d sent the news of her betrothal to
Alexander Colbourne shortly after.

Although she’d tried to express in her letters to her parents how deep her feelings for Xander
were and her overwhelming happiness, she knew they would certainly have reservations.
Their concerns would not simply be because of the timing and that they did not know
Xander, but because he had been her employer only a few months prior. It was not at all
unreasonable for her parents to question the motives of a man who would propose marriage
to his former governess after having so unceremoniously dismissed her a few months prior,
despite her assurances that their affections for each other were indeed genuine.

The last thing she wanted to do was to disappoint her parents. They had been more than
generous, kind and patient with her over the past two summers. Although she was of age and
they did not require her father’s approval to marry, she wished more than anything for their
blessing and acceptance of the man she loved. Her life would forever more be tied to
Sanditon and Heyrick Park but she would never wish to lose the love and support of her
family in Willingden.

So it was that with no small amount of trepidation that Charlotte sat early in the morning,
nervously watching out the front window of Trafalgar House for the Colbourne carriage to
arrive. When she spotted the green carriage rolling down the street, she hastily donned her
coat and bonnet before hurrying down the steps, followed closely behind by two of the
Parker’s servants carrying her trunk.

“Good morning,” Xander greeted her, his eyebrows raised at the sight of her luggage. “I
thought we were staying in Willingden for one night. Is this usually how you pack? If so, I
shall have to purchase a larger carriage or arrange to travel with pack mules in the future.”
She laughed, the gentle teasing a welcome distraction. “I am taking home some dresses and
things that my sisters can use and I will pack up the belongings I left in Willingden and bring
them back with us tomorrow.”

“Ah, practical as always, Miss Heywood,” affection lit his eyes. “I do hope that the girls and I
meet your approval. I was given strict instructions by Mrs. Wheatley that we were to dress
nice but not too nice.”

“I hope you don’t mind,” she bit her bottom lip as she reviewed his attire. Even his simplest
clothing would be considered quite fine by Willingden standards. “I know you wish to make
a good impression with my family but your best clothes would only make you stand out even
more in Willingden. I’m afraid my family isn’t accustomed to being around men of your
standing and I do not wish to make them feel they cannot be comfortable in your presence.”

“Charlotte, it’s perfectly fine. I understand,” he reassured her. “You know I do not care for
finery. If you asked me to remove my cravat and coat and roll up my sleeves, I would thank
you.”

“You do seem to have a penchant for removing half your clothing whenever possible,” she
replied.

A broad grin broke across his face as he held out his hand to assist her into the carriage where
Leo and Augusta waited. He ensured she was settled next to Augusta before climbing in and
taking his seat next to Leo. Although she would have preferred to sit next to him, decorum
dictated their placement and at least she could admire him from across the carriage. With a
knock on the roof of the carriage, they were on their way.

The ride to Willingden was enjoyable for everyone but Xander. It began well enough but
soon the more well-traveled roads around Sanditon faded into the rougher country roads that
did not lend themselves to a man still suffering from a sore back. He put on a brave face but
each new bump caused him to wince in pain. Still, he did his best to engage in conversation
as Leo and Augusta asked question after question about Charlotte’s family and she shared
stories of growing up on the farm to pass the time.

Xander’s relief was palpable as the green carriage rolled to a stop outside of the Heywood
farm. He had little time to enjoy the respite, however, as a swarm of children poured out of
the house as he stepped down from the carriage. He reached his hand to help her out
moments before she was engulfed by her siblings. She laughed and gave hugs all around as
her parents joined their brood at a more leisurely pace to greet their eldest daughter and their
guests.

Her eyes met her father’s over the heads of her youngest brothers and sisters and she smiled
hesitantly. For the first time in her life she was nervous about what her parents must be
thinking of her. “Mama, Papa, may I introduce Mr. Alexander Colbourne, his niece Miss
Augusta Markham and his daughter, Miss Leonora Colbourne.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Heywood, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Xander said with the best smile he
could muster.
Charlotte’s mother sent her a questioning look but she gave her a subtle shake of her head.
She was not surprised her mother had taken note of Xander’s discomfort but did not wish for
him to feel embarrassed because he was not at his best when meeting her family for the first
time.

“Mr. Colbourne,” her father nodded in greeting, his expression pleasant but guarded. Clearly,
he was waiting to pass judgment until he’d had more time to assess his future son in law.

Charlotte hastily introduced her siblings in an effort to allow Xander some time to adjust to
his surroundings. She was confident that Leo and Augusta had memorized all of their names
and ages and would be able to differentiate who was who easily enough once a little time had
passed. For the most part, her siblings were a gregarious and outgoing bunch and, within
moments, Augusta had been pulled away by Caroline while Leo had fallen in with the
younger children.

“Do come inside,” her mother insisted as the noise of the children faded into the distance.
“I’m sure a cup of tea would be most welcome after your journey.”

*****

Anne Heywood watched her eldest daughter closely as they sat down to tea. She saw a great
change in Charlotte since her first visit to Sanditon a year and a half ago.

The eager and ebullient young woman she’d raised had twice returned to her home
heartbroken. When Charlotte had returned from her second summer in Sanditon a shadow of
her former self, William had pressed for the long-hoped for engagement between Charlotte
and Ralph Starling to finally be made official, convinced that their daughter would be happier
once she was married and settled close to the home she’d been raised in.

But her engagement to Ralph had not returned Charlotte to the spirited, happy young woman
she had once been. She had been genial enough, and showed Ralph the same level of friendly
affection she always had, but Anne had not seen the love or eagerness to marry in her
daughter’s eyes that would expect of a newly engaged woman. The difference was only
heightened when compared to Alison’s excitement over her own wedding plans. It had pained
her greatly to know that Charlotte was merely acceding to her father’s wishes in accepting his
choice of a husband and a future she had not chosen for herself.

Now, in the presence of Mr. Colbourne, there was a joy and vibrancy about Charlotte that had
been missing over the past year. She’d laughed openly as she introduced Leonora and
Augusta to her brothers and sisters, her hand stroking her soon-to-be daughter’s hair
affectionately as the child looked to her for approval before running off with the youngest
Heywoods. She’d ensured that Augusta had been properly introduced to her eldest sisters
before turning her attention back to Mr. Colbourne to ensure he too was comfortable. Her
only hesitancy seemed to be when she met William's eye and sensed a disappointment she
was not used to seeing in her beloved father.

Mr. Colbourne too seemed to sense the discord between father and daughter. He frequently
glanced at her as they sat down to share a cup of tea, his features softening each time she
smiled or briefly touched his arm to reassure him that she was well. The love the two felt for
each other was plainly evident to her and she felt her heart ease with the knowledge that
Charlotte had indeed found the man she loved and he, in turn, held her in the same clear
regard. It was only William they must convince if they desired his blessing, for she had given
hers the moment her daughter had placed her hand in that of her fiancé’s and stepped down
from his carriage with a smile that lit her face for all to see.

*****

Charlotte had never felt so uncomfortable within the walls of her childhood home. She had
not expected it to feel so foreign to her now, nor for her own father to seem so strangely
distant. He was usually amenable to meeting any strangers and welcoming them into his
home. His reticence around Xander was off putting. It was as though her father had decided
to disapprove of him before they’d even met. It reminded her of how he was so determined to
never travel further than five miles from their village and even took pride in it, gladly
choosing to miss out on experiencing the wider world around him.

Sitting together in the parlor, she smiled and chatted amiably with her mother, the two of
them drawing Xander into conversation about Leo and Augusta, the weather and their
journey from Sanditon. For his part, Xander did his best to respond. Despite the soreness of
his back and his anxiousness in meeting her family for the first time, he was pleasant and
affable, correctly focusing his attention on her mother instead of attempting to draw her
father into conversation. But William Heywood would not stay silent for long.

“I’d like to speak with you in my study, Charlotte,” her father stood after only a quarter of an
hour, his tone gentle but firm.

She responded to Xander’s questioning look with a reassuring pat to his arm and followed her
father down the hall, closing the door behind her. She allowed her gaze to drift around the
familiar and beloved room, a childhood haven that had fed her love of learning. The two of
them had held many discussions on all manner of topics within these walls and they were
among her most cherished memories. The last time she and her father had stood in this room
in such a manner was the day she had reluctantly agreed to marry Ralph. Now she stood
before him to defend her choice to marry a man he’d never met.

William Heywood had never been a man quick to anger. It was exceedingly rare that he ever
raised his voice to one of his children. Instead, he chose to speak calmly and rationally,
explaining to the child their transgression and what they should have done instead, expecting
them to learn a lesson with each wrongdoing. But for Charlotte, there was nothing worse than
seeing her father disappointed in her. She’s always sought his approval in everything she’d
done and knowing that he felt his daughter had not lived up to the standards he expected of
his children was a blow to her heart.

It was with great resolve that she stood before him, ready to defend herself. She drew a deep
breath as her father settled back in his old leather chair, electing to not delay the inevitable. “I
know you’re disappointed that I ended my engagement to Ralph, Papa. I did not wish to
cause you any embarrassment as a result. But I could not bring myself to marry a man I do
not love.”
“So you said in your letter, Charlotte. Ralph is a good man and he would have provided well
for you. And he cares for you a great deal. It’s caused him and his family a great deal of
embarrassment when you called off the wedding so soon before the date. Everyone in town
heard the banns being read only a few days before Ralph returned and told us you’d ended
your engagement. Your mother had already begun to decorate the church.”

“I know, Papa. I care for Ralph very much and it hurt me to cause him any pain and
embarrassment. He has always been a good friend. But kindness and friendship do not equate
to love and I wish to marry for love, as you and Mama did. It would not have been fair to
marry Ralph when I am in love with another man.”

Her father stroked his beard. “Mr. Colbourne is a man well above our standing, Charlotte.
You were his governess. How can you expect to be accepted as his wife?”

“I am already accepted at Heyrick Park as the future mistress of the estate. And I will have
the support of my friends in Sanditon whether I marry a lord or a beggar. Neither Alexander
or I have been deaf to the whispers that came with the news of our engagement but we are
secure in knowing that we marry for love and are determined not to allow gossip to interfere
in our happiness.”

He sighed. “You were born the daughter of a farmer, not to be the mistress of a grand estate.”

“I will be both, Papa. And he is a farmer.”

“He is a landowner who receives rents from tenants. He is not out working the land as we
do.”

“You do not know him. Only two days ago he injured his back helping to lift a cart off the
foot of one of his injured workers. He came home covered in mud and in pain, yet his only
concern was for the worker and ensuring that all of the costs of his care and lost income
would be covered. He is not above getting his hands dirty and helping out where needed. He
would much rather spend his time mucking a stall than attending a fancy party. I have never
seen a man who loves the land more than he does. And he takes his responsibility for running
the estate very seriously.”

“Any decent man would do the same,” he insisted. “He lives off of the work of others,
Charlotte.”

“Again, I remind you that you do not know him or his history. He was born the second son of
a man who lost all of the family’s money through gambling and poor investments. When his
father died, his older brother refused the inheritance, leaving Alexander to take on the burden
of a failing estate. He could have walked away with no regard for the tenants and staff.
Instead, he has labored day and night for the past decade to return the estate to what it used to
be. His tenants and workers are well cared for and he is highly thought of in the community.
He has even invested in restoring the Old Town of Sanditon and insisted on building a school
for the children of the laborers who live there, both boys and girls. He is a man of integrity,
Papa, one you could be proud to call your son in law if you only opened your mind and heart
to do so.”
“A man of integrity would not pursue his employee, Charlotte.”

She sighed. Now they were at the heart of her father’s true reticence in accepting Xander.
“It’s true that he developed feelings for me while I worked for him. As I did for him. But we
did not choose to fall in love with one another, Papa. It was beyond either of our control. And
he sent me away last summer in a desperate attempt to prevent our feelings from growing any
stronger.”

“You returned home despondent and miserable,” he reminded her.

“Because I was in love with him. And it broke my heart when he sent me away.”

“Who is to say he won’t break your heart again?”

“I am. And Alexander is. He has explained himself to me, revealed his innermost thoughts
and feelings and apologized more times than necessary. I have forgiven him. I want you to be
happy that I have found a good man who will provide for me and our family. We wish for
your blessing, Papa.”

“I have reservations, Charlotte. I will not give my blessing to a man I do not know. I did not
give it to Declan right away either, as you will recall.”

“You were far more open to the idea,” she pointed out. “You always taught me to stand up for
myself and my convictions. You are objecting to a man of impeccable birth and superior
education who provides generously to those in need and is held in the highest esteem by his
community. A man whom I love and who loves me in return. I understand your reservations
but I do not agree with them.”

“I will speak to Mr. Colbourne, Charlotte. I will try to keep an open mind. That is all I can
promise at the moment.”

*****

Xander studied Charlotte’s expression anxiously when she returned from speaking with her
father but she merely gave him a gentle smile as she settled back on the settee beside him,
appearing calm and poised. Mr. Heywood was not about to let his daughter and her betrothed
speak, however, before he’d had a chance to talk candidly with his future son in law.

“Would you be interested in seeing the farm, Mr. Colbourne?”

Xander exchanged a glance with Charlotte and stood. “I’d like that very much, sir.”

Mr. Heywood nodded and led him from the room, Charlotte’s eldest brother, Matthew,
following quickly behind. Xander had anticipated this conversation since the day of their
engagement and was grateful Charlotte’s father had suggested they speak out of doors rather
than in the confines of his study. He felt much more confident out of doors under the guise of
discussing crops and livestock than facing the man across a desk.

“Charlotte tells us your estate runs a dairy farm, Mr. Colbourne.” Mr. Heywood said as they
walked towards the barn.
“Yes, our home farm is primarily a dairy farm that provides milk, cream and cheese to the
shops and people of Sanditon but we also raise grain, produce, pigs and chickens for the
estate. And we have a greenhouse where we raise produce and flowers during the winter. Our
tenants farm a variety of crops and a few primarily raise livestock.”

“How many acres do you have?” Matthew asked. The eldest son seemed more eager to learn
more about the estate his sister would be marrying into while still remaining absolutely loyal
to his father, his eyes frequently flitting to the elder Heywood to gauge his opinion before
expressing his own.

Heyrick Park was a modest estate by Society standards but far exceeded that of the
Heywoods or their neighbors. The home farm alone was larger than the Heywood lands but
Xander had no intention of bringing that to his future father in law’s attention, at least not
until the man had accepted his daughter’s choice in husband. “About a thousand,” he
admitted.

His response elicited an open mouth stare from Matthew while Mr. Heywood’s stride faltered
slightly. Neither asked any further questions as they continued. Instead Mr. Heywood pointed
out various aspects of the farm that he thought might be of interest. Xander asked questions
as he felt appropriate but did not speak more than necessary or try to ingratiate himself to
either man. He began to see a grudging respect forming in Mr. Heywood’s eyes as they
headed back towards the house but held no misconception that acceptance of his knowledge
of agriculture and livestock extended into approval of his marrying his daughter.

They approached the garden area that lay between the back of the house and the barn where
the younger Heywood children and Leo had gathered to play an impromptu game of cricket.
“Matthew,” Mr. Heywood turned to his son, “would you excuse us?” Matthew nodded and
walked towards the barn, leaving the two men leaning against the fence rail, watching the
children shrieking with laughter as they played. It wasn’t long, however, before Mr. Heywood
spoke once more. “You are a man of means, Mr. Colbourne,” he said, forgoing any further
pleasantries. “You could marry any woman of your choosing.”

“I appreciate your confidence in my ability to find a wife, Mr. Heywood, however, I assure
you that is not the case. While I do admit that there are certainly women who would happily
marry me for my estate and the comfort it would afford them, I am not interested in marrying
simply for the sake of doing so.”

“Yet you now ask for the hand of a young woman who was in your employment not all that
long ago. Charlotte is a kind, intelligent, hard-working young woman. I have no doubt that
she impressed you with her abilities when she was under your employment. How can I be
assured that you do not merely seek to marry her so she can care for your child and provide
you with an heir?”

“Of course I was impressed by Charlotte. One cannot know her and not be impressed. She is
a force to be reckoned with. From the moment I met her, she astounded me with her spirit,
compassion and intelligence. But I have been a widower for nine years and had resigned
myself to live the rest of my days as such. I have raised my daughter and cared for my niece
these last few years without a wife and have no qualms about continuing to do so. If I felt it
necessary to sire a male heir, I would have remarried years ago. However, we both know that
marriage does not guarantee heirs. My brother is my heir and should he predecease me, there
are still one or two distant male relations in line to inherit.

“I was not seeking to marry anyone, Mr. Heywood, much less your daughter. Before I was
even aware such a thing was happening, I found myself falling in love with her. For months, I
fought against it. I was all too aware that there would be speculation and gossip should I
pursue a relationship with her and I convinced myself that your daughter deserved a far better
man than I could ever hope to be. So I sent her away this past summer, foolishly believing
that I could forget my feelings for her over time and hoping that any feelings she might have
had for me would quickly fade. But when she returned to Sanditon, I knew that it was
impossible for me to stop loving her. I will love Charlotte until my dying days, even if she
had not agreed to marry me.”

“When she returned to Sanditon, she was already engaged to be married,” Mr. Heywood
pointed out gruffly, his words not entirely without accusation.

Xander nodded, turning his head to look at the man. “I admit that I made my feelings for
Charlotte known to her despite knowing she was engaged to be married. However, I made it
clear that I accepted her choice to marry Mr. Starling, even though it pained me to do so. I
respected her right to choose her own future, Mr. Heywood. I only ever wished for her to be
happy, even if it meant losing her forever. Your daughter knows her own mind. In the end,
she made her choice and I will spend the rest of my days being eternally grateful and doing
whatever is within my means to ensure that she never regrets her decision.

“I am a father myself, Mr. Heywood. I understand your reservations about Charlotte marrying
me. I will be the first person to point out my flaws, of which there are many, with Charlotte
happy to add any I might miss. I count very few things as certain in this world. Among them
is that I love your daughter and she loves me. I can assure you that your daughter will want
for nothing. Should we have children, I will provide generously for them as well. I will
protect my family with my life if necessary. I will marry her whether or not you provide your
blessing. But I would much rather leave here tomorrow knowing that you approve of our
marriage and with the hope that someday, you’ll be happy for us.

*****

Charlotte could not help being anxious as she watched Xander follow her father out the door.
It was inevitable that her father would wish to speak with him alone but she would not feel
comfortable again until Xander returned to her side and assured her that all was well. Rising,
she walked to the window, her gaze following the men until they disappeared out of sight
behind the barn.

“You will not make the time pass any faster by watching for them to return, Charlotte,” her
mother admonished gently. “Sit down and talk with me.”

Charlotte sat across from her mother, waiting as she refreshed her cup of tea. “I know you
and father are disappointed in me, Mama, but I do hope you’ll come to know Alexander and
respect him as much as I do.”
Her mother reached out and covered her hand. “We were disappointed that you’d broken your
engagement to Ralph,” she admitted. “But only because marrying Ralph would mean you’d
be so close to home. You know your father will not admit how much he will miss you.”

“I’ll miss all of you a great deal,” Charlotte admitted sadly, the reality of leaving home
becoming all too real. “But we’ll come and visit as often as we can, I promise. Alexander will
not keep me from you.”

“I know you’ll have a more comfortable life than you could ever have here in Willingden,”
her mother said, her face worried, “but will Alexander truly make you happy? I know you
came to care for him last summer. But when you returned home, you only spoke of him with
anger and sadness. You did not even seem open to forgiving him and now you are engaged to
be married.”

“I admit that I was hurt this past summer when I returned from Sanditon but I did learn to
forgive him. He sent me away not because he did not love me, but because he viewed himself
as being someone who didn’t deserve love and affection from anyone. He regretted sending
me away as soon as the words were spoken but I was angry and didn’t give him the
opportunity to explain himself. Our parting was as much my fault as his and we’ve both
apologized and come to terms with our actions together.

“When I returned to Sanditon for Georgiana’s party, I knew as soon as I saw him that my
feelings for him had not lessened. And he had gone through a great many changes during our
separation, vowing to make himself a better father to the girls and to become a man who
deserved me, not knowing that I was engaged. Throughout my time in Sanditon, he showed
me over and over again how much he respected me, asking nothing in return. Through his
actions, I came to understand that I could not marry Ralph when I was in love with
Alexander. It would not have been fair to either of us.” Charlotte met her mother’s eyes,
relieved at the affection she saw there. “I’ve always respected the love you and Papa share. I
want a marriage with the same amount of love. Anything less would never make me happy.”

Her mother smiled, her eyes taking on a far off look as she recalled some long ago memory.
“The day I married your father was one of the happiest days of my life. I still remember those
first days of our marriage with the greatest fondness. I felt such pride and happiness in
making our own home together, just the two of us. I never thought I could be so happy doing
the simple tasks of cooking for my husband and keeping house. It felt as though we truly
became husband and wife. And when we welcomed you, we truly became a family.”

“I hope that Alexander and I can be as happy as you and Papa,” she said wistfully. She knew
their marriage could never be the same as her parents. Her family was already much more
than just her and Alexander.

“Oh, my darling, I can tell how much you love him just from listening to you,” her mother’s
eyes teared up. “And I know that you will be very happy together. You’ve found someone
you can love the same way I love your father. And I know your father will understand as well
once he’s had some more time to grow accustomed to the idea. We both just want you to be
happy.”

“I am happy, Mama. I’ve never been happier in my entire life.”

“And you’re prepared to be a mother to his girls and the mistress of such a large estate?” her
mother asked. “It is a considerable amount to take on. Will you not be overwhelmed?”

Charlotte shook her head, squeezing her mother’s hand. “I love Leo and Augusta already. Leo
is so excited for me to be her mother and Augusta has become like one of my sisters. And the
thought of becoming the mistress of Heyrick Park has been daunting to be sure,” she
admitted, “but I already feel such a sense of belonging when I’m there. It saddens me each
time I leave. I wish to make it a home that we can all take pride in.”

“You’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge, Charlotte,” her mother’s voice was
full of pride. “I can see that you are ready to marry Mr. Colbourne and Heyrick Park is now
your home. You’ll always be welcome to visit here, my darling girl, but returning home is a
wonderful gift indeed.”

They stood, pulling each other into a fond embrace, both recognizing that a shift had occurred
in their relationship. No longer just mother and daughter, they were both women with
husbands and children, commiserating over their shared experiences.

“Now, why don’t you find Mr. Colbourne and take him up the hill and show him where his
wife grew up before luncheon is ready? I’m sure he’ll need a little respite after spending so
much time with your father.”

Charlotte laughed. “Of course, Mama.” She paused as she headed towards the door. “And
Mama,” her mother turned towards her, “thank you.”

*****

Charlotte fetched her coat and walked outside towards the barn. Xander was standing next to
her father watching the younger children playing cricket in the garden. As she moved to stand
next to them, the ball came flying towards her and she hastily raised her hands in the air.
Xander, however, stepped quickly in front of her, deftly catching it with his left hand. She
laughed as his face split into a wide grin at the whoops of appreciation from her brothers.
Across the yard, her brother Nathan held his hands in the air and Xander expertly threw the
ball back to him, wincing from the effort.

“Nice catch,” she leaned on the fence rail and nudged him with her elbow. He shifted his
weight, nudging her back with a little smile, even as he rolled his shoulder.

“Are you left-handed, Mr. Colbourne?” her father eyed him speculatively. “Like our little
Jacob?”

“I am indeed, Mr. Heywood.”

“It does not hold our Jacob back any, even if his handwriting is atrocious.”

She smiled at the teasing comment her father had made about his youngest son. “I can attest
that Alexander’s handwriting is somewhat better than Jacob’s.” Their family had always been
one to not take each other too seriously, a result of the unconditional love of two parents. She
was so grateful for both of them, even if her father was presently being rather obstinate.
Xander cleared his throat. “Yes, well it wasn’t always so. I have ruined far too many shirt
sleeves as a result of ink smears. I’ve learned to roll them up to save myself tongue lashings
from Mrs. Wheatley, our housekeeper.”

“I had a friend growing up whose father thought he could beat it out of him,” her father
recalled, musing more than making conversation.

“I’m more than familiar with the concept,” Alexander commented, his voice calm and
measured as he watched the children playing before them.

Both Heywoods looked at him, startled by his admission. Her father’s gaze darted to hers, a
horrified look in his eyes. Charlotte felt a sharp arrow of pain for him in her heart.
“Xander…”

He met her eye and gave a slight shake of his head, as though he’d just realized what he’d
said. “Not now, Charlotte,” he said in a low voice. “That’s a story for another day.”

Despite the myriad of questions that clamored for her attention, she nodded in acquiescence,
tucking her thoughts away for another time. “Mother suggested we take a walk up the hill.
The view is rather nice from there. You can see all of Willingden,” She glanced at her father.
He gave her a slight nod of approval but his eyes carried a hint of warning. She slipped her
arm around Xander’s and quickly tugged him away before her father could suggest taking
one of the younger children along as a chaperone.

Together, they walked up the hill until they reached the top where a large rock cairn stood,
marking some long forgotten border in the county. As children, they’d pretended it was the
ancient ruins of a great castle meant to be defended at all costs. Taking Xander’s hand, she
laced their fingers together and pointed out the various fields and tenants, the town and
bridge that could be seen clearly from the vantage point.

With a glance back towards the farm, she pulled him around the cairn and moved to stand
behind him, placing her hands on his back. “Unbutton your coat and waistcoat.”

Xander peered at her over his shoulder, completely unperturbed by her request. “Are you
going to undress me outside in full view of your parent’s home? My bedroom was one thing,
Charlotte, but we shall have to renegotiate if you continue to make such demands.”

She smiled and shook her head in amusement. “As much as I’m sure you’d enjoy that, no.
Unbuttoning your coat and waistcoat will be sufficient.”

“I don’t know what it is you’re planning, but I’d prefer to not have your father shoot me
today,” he added more seriously as he unbuttoned his coat.

“He would never do such a thing,” she assured him as she slipped her hands up beneath the
bottom of his waistcoat, only the thin layer of his cotton shirt between her hands and his bare
back. “Besides, Matthew is a much better shot.”

“Very amusing.” He groaned as she began to knead the muscles in his back, “Charlotte, I
thought we discussed this.”
“Hush,” she admonished as her hands moved higher. Xander let out a grunt, his head falling
forward, chin against his chest. He began to speak softly under his breath.

“Ille mi par esse deo uidetur,

Ille, si fas est, superare diuos,
Qui sedens aduersus identidem te
Spectat et audit
Dulce ridentem.”

A sense of warmth infused her as she listened to the soft, rhythmic flow of the words. She
wondered if he had any idea how the timbre of his voice affected her. “Is that Latin?”

“Shh, I’m trying to concentrate on something other than your hands in my coat.”

“What does it mean?”

“Shouldn’t a proper governess know Latin, Miss Heywood?”

A huff of laughter escaped her. “I believe you’re mistaking me for one of your fancy tutors or
professors, Mr. Colbourne. Besides, such a requirement was never mentioned during my
interview. Are you going to tell me what it means?”

“No,” he declined and diligently resumed his recitation as she continued to address the ache
in his back.

“Misero quod omnis

Eripit sensus mihi: nam simul te,
Aspexi, nihil est super mi
Vocis in ore:
Lingua sed torpet, tenuis sub artus
Flamma demanat, sonitu suopte
Tintinant aures, gemina et teguntur
Lumina nocte.”

“Whatever it means, it’s beautiful.” She stopped and slid her arms around his waist, resting
her cheek against his back.

He placed his hands over hers and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. “It’s Catullus
fifty-one. I haven’t thought of it in years but it suddenly came back to me in the carriage this
morning.”

“May I surmise that I am the inspiration then?”

“You are always the inspiration, Charlotte.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, reveling in the feel of him. But her mind would not rest,
continuing its incessant worrying. “You spoke with my father?”

“I did. It went as I expected it would.”

She circled around him. “That doesn’t sound promising.”

He shrugged, taking her hands in his. “You can hardly expect him to be overjoyed at the idea
of us marrying. He had his heart set on you marrying Mr. Starling and living on the next farm
over. Now he’s losing his eldest daughter and, dare I say, his favorite child. And then there’s
the matter of my being your former employer.”

She leaned back into him and his arms wrapped around her, attempting to sooth her
disappointment. “I am sorry he wasn’t more welcoming. I had hoped for a better reception.”

“I know. However, I am certain that, given time, he will come to view our marriage with
favor.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

He pulled back and looked at her with great affection. “Please do not dwell too long on it,
Charlotte. Tomorrow, we will return home and all will be well, even if he does not give us his
blessing now. You will be so busy with wedding plans that you won’t even have time to think
of such things. And in a few months, when we visit again, he will be so happy to see you that
all will be forgotten.”

She smiled graciously, accepting that he would not be happy until she agreed to give the
matter no further consideration. “Home, at Heyrick Park, with you. I do like the sound of
that.”

“I’m delighted to hear it since you will be living there quite soon.” He nuzzled her neck,
placing a row of kisses along her throat.

“Do not think I don’t know that you’re trying to distract me.” She ran her fingers lightly over
the nape of his neck.

He hummed appreciatively in her ear. “Is it working?”

“It is.” She smiled up at him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “We should be heading back
to the house before we are missed and Papa goes looking for his gun after all.”

*****

Xander caught her hand as she pulled away, gently tugging at her to return to his arms. She
grinned, stretching their arms as far apart as they would go, his fingers barely holding hers.
“Just one more kiss,” he insisted.

She laughed, slipping out of his grasp. “It is never just one more kiss, my love.”

“Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more,” he quoted as he stepped
forward in an attempt to capture her once more. The smile disappeared suddenly from her
face as she looked past the cairn that blocked them from being seen back towards the farm.
He frowned at her sudden change in attitude. “What is it?”

She glanced away from whatever had stolen her attention. “It’s Ralph.”
Chapter End Notes

My apologies for the small cliff-hanger as I don't usually end chapters that way. But this
one was becoming much too long so I decided to split it at the last minute. I'm
flabbergasted that I can even write chapters as long as I have been since I recently have
been diving into chapters with only vague plots in mind.

The Latin poem is a partial version of "Catullus 51" by the Roman poet, Catullus. The
English translation will be posted in the next chapter. The quote "give me a thousand
kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more" is also from Catullus. If anyone would
know Latin poems, it would surely be Xander.
 A Father's Blessing
Chapter Summary

Charlotte and Xander continue their time in Willingden.

Chapter Notes

As this chapter picks up immediately where the last left, I recommend that you go back
and refresh yourself on the last two scenes of the previous chapter if you feel like you
can't recall what happened.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A Father’s Blessing

“It’s Ralph.”

Xander raised his eyebrows in surprise and she shrugged, indicating she was as bewildered as
he was.

“Charlotte, I heard you were back….” Xander quickly buttoned his waistcoat and stepped out
from behind the cairn. Ralph’s words trailed off, the smile falling from his face. “Mr.
Colbourne.”

He nodded politely. “Mr. Starling.”

“Ralph,” Charlotte smiled warmly enough but her eyes betrayed the tension she felt. “I
wasn’t expecting to see you.”

It was increasingly apparent to Xander that while Ralph had expected to see Charlotte, he had
expected to find her alone. Mr. Starling did not strike him as a man who would be prone to
heated confrontations but Charlotte’s discomfort gave him pause. He hoped that the man’s
increasingly red face was due to embarrassment rather than anger. He did not wish to get into
any sort of altercation with the man.

“I…was passing by your house and your father said you had walked up here so I thought I
would come to see how you’ve been.” His demeanor was swiftly changing from surprised to
defeated.

“My father?” She closed her eyes for a moment as though calming herself. “Yes, well…I
wanted to show Alexander the view. We were just about to head back to the house. It was
very kind of you to want to see how I was doing. I hope you and your family are well?”

“Very well, thank you,” he twisted the brim of his hat. “You’ll be returning to Sanditon soon
then?”

Charlotte nodded, a pained expression on her face. “Yes, we’re returning tomorrow.” She
paused for a moment, darting a quick look in his direction. “We’re to marry in a few weeks.”

Ralph seemed to shrink even more, as though the final nail had been struck. “When will the
banns be read?”

Xander could no longer stand the tension between the two childhood friends. He could only
imagine what the conversation that ended their engagement had been like. Hoping to spare
both Charlotte and Mr. Starling any further discomfort, he stepped forward. “I was hoping we
might speak for a moment, Mr. Starling?”

Two heads swung in his direction, startled by his request. Charlotte recovered quickly, her
eyes softening as she understood his motive and desire to clear the air once and for all with
her former betrothed. Ralph hesitated for a moment before nodding reluctantly in
acquiescence. Charlotte squeezed his hand briefly and began to walk back towards the
Heywood home. The two men allowed some moments to pass in silence before they began to
follow at a more leisurely pace.

“I know you didn’t expect to find me here today, Mr. Starling. I am sorry if your hopes were
dashed once again on my account.

Ralph flushed and looked at him a little sheepishly. “It’s true I was not aware that Charlotte
traveled in your company, Mr. Colbourne. When Mr. Heywood told me she was home, I
admit a small part of me thought there might be some chance that…things had not worked
out the way she’d hoped after all and she had returned to Willingden for good. Mr. Heywood
did not mention that you had accompanied her home when I saw him.”

Xander nodded, clasping his hands behind his back as they walked. It seemed his future
father in law was not above some meddling after all. Charlotte glanced back over her
shoulder at them, a questioning look on her face and he gave her what he hoped was a
reassuring smile.

“I admit I would likely have felt the same if I had been in a similar situation.” Xander looked
at the younger man. He could never blame him for loving Charlotte. It simply wasn’t possible
to not love her. “You have every right to be angry with me, Mr. Starling. But please believe
me when I tell you that I was very clear with Charlotte that I respected her decision to marry
you if that’s what she chose.

Ralph was quiet for a moment. “I was angry for a time, Mr. Colbourne. I wanted to blame
you for stealing Charlotte from me. But then I realized that, despite all of my hopes, she was
never mine to begin with.”

“I can reassure you that she will be taken care of. She will want for nothing. But she did not
fall in love with me because of my land or my money just as her family’s lack of wealth or
connections mean nothing to me. She does not view me as a better man than you. In fact, she
holds you in the highest regard. We did not choose to love one another, Mr. Starling. It was
something neither of us could control.”

“She told me when our engagement ended that she had tried her hardest not to love you.”

Although hearing the words pained him, he nodded in understanding. “I spent months doing
the same in vain.” He stopped in the middle of the lane. “It was useless, however. My love
for her only grew, even after she left Sanditon. But I made it clear to Charlotte that I had
resigned myself to living the rest of my days without her. She had made her decision to marry
you and I respected it, no matter how much it caused me pain. Had she returned to
Willingden for your wedding, I would not have interfered in your lives in any way. She never
would have heard from me or my daughter and niece again unless she chose to contact us. It’s
important to me that you know that, Mr. Starling.”

“I believe you, Mr. Colbourne,” Ralph seemed resigned, his voice holding a hint of sadness.
They resumed walking. “I have known Charlotte my entire life. She was always looking for
new adventures and sharing her amazing dreams. They always seemed so unreachable to me
but she never faltered in her beliefs.” He looked around them at the rolling landscape of
farms and orchards. “I recognize now that she grew too big for this place,” Ralph motioned
around them. “Willingden would never have been enough for her.”

“The earth, moon and all the stars are not big enough for Charlotte’s dreams, Mr. Starling.
And I may not be able to make all of her dreams come true, but I will never stop trying.”

They had reached the gate to the Heywood farm where Charlotte and her parents stood
waiting for them in front of the house, Charlotte’s frustration obvious to him even from a
distance. Behind them, Augusta and one of Charlotte’s sisters appeared in the doorway.

“It was never our intention to cause you any pain. There will be no banns read aloud in
church to cause you any further embarrassment. Please believe that Charlotte and I both wish
you nothing but happiness, Mr. Starling.”

Ralph took one last look at Charlotte before meeting his eye. “I believe you are a man of
integrity, Mr. Colbourne. I am content knowing that Charlotte will be happy and well cared
for.” He bowed his head politely.

Xander returned the bow. “Thank you, Mr. Starling.”

Ralph nodded, tipped his chin in Charlotte’s direction and continued walking down the lane,
away from the Heywood farm. Xander watched him for a moment before walking through
the gate towards his waiting bride-to-be.

*****

Charlotte whirled around, turning towards her father with fire in her eyes the moment that
Ralph had walked some distance away. “Papa, why would you send Ralph to me knowing
that Alexander was there? You forced all three of us into an uncomfortable situation!”
“ William,” Anne Heywood gave her husband a hard look, her hands settling on her hips,
"what did you do?”

“I needed to be sure you were determined in your decision, Charlotte,” her father asserted, his
arms crossed defiantly over his chest. “What if you had seen Ralph and realized you weren’t
certain after all?”

“Argh!” Charlotte growled in frustration, throwing her hands into the air. “Papa! How can I
make it more clear to you that Alexander Colbourne is my choice? Actually, no…he is not a
choice,” she all but shouted. Xander’s eyes jerked to her in confusion. “He is an inevitability.
He is my other half. My heart calls out for him when he is not there. My soul recognizes him
with every look. My very happiness lies in his hands.” She caught his eye. “Every day of my
life not spent in his company, is a day wasted.”

Xander grinned and looked hastily down at his boots, pleased as punch by her declarations
but ducking his head with embarrassment at her rather dramatic oration. She wanted so badly
to throw her arms around him and kiss his smirking lips until the rest of his face was as red as
his ears.

She turned back to her parents, her mother’s eyes now filled with tears and her father’s face
soft with emotion. “I love him, Papa. I always will. Now, I beg of you, please give us your
blessing. We will marry without it but I would much rather have my father, who I love with
all of my heart, tell me that he approves of the man I will spend the rest of my life with.”

Her father at least had the grace to look ashamed. “I did not arrange for Ralph to come here
with the intention of causing anyone embarrassment, Charlotte. When he passed by and heard
you were home I mentioned you were home and I foolishly sent him up the hill without
telling him you were here with Mr. Colbourne. I saw how hopeful he was and I did not stop
him. And for that I will apologize to him. I acted impulsively, thinking that if you saw Ralph
again, surrounded here by the family you love, that you might have doubts about your
decision to marry Mr. Colbourne and live so far from home. I am truly sorry.”

Charlotte felt her anger and frustration melt away. “Oh, Papa.” She went to him and fell into
his embrace. “I will miss all of you. But my heart lies at Heyrick Park now.”

“I couldn’t bear the thought of you living so far away, Charlotte. I’ve always carried a special
place in my heart for you, you know that.” He swiped at his weathered cheeks. “I can see
now that your heart truly lies with Mr. Colbourne and his girls. I know you’ll be well taken
care of. You have my blessing, Charlotte. Even though it breaks my heart to see you leave for
good.”

Xander cleared his throat. “I promise we will visit as often as we are able, Mr. Heywood, you
have my word on that. I would never wish to keep Charlotte from her family. And you are all
welcome at Heyrick Park whenever you wish.”

She nearly burst into tears as the two men she admired and loved the most silently came to an
understanding. “We have some things to discuss, Mr. Colbourne,” her father tipped his head
towards the house. “Let’s go into my study.”
“After we eat,” her mother interjected. “There will be plenty of time to discuss everything.”

As the gathering of Heywoods made their way into the house, Charlotte looked at Xander and
heaved a sigh of relief, her face splitting into a broad smile. “Well, that’s settled then,” she
brushed her hands together as though she’d just completed some back-breaking chore.
“What’s next?”

He laughed at her. “A day wasted, was it?”

She tucked her hand into the bend of his arm as they began to walk towards the house. “Still
waters run deep, and you, Mr. Colbourne, have been hiding the soul of a poet all along.
Surely, such words must be shared.”

Xander paused next to Augusta who stood watching them with a smug look on her face. He
leaned close to his niece, his voice low so as to not be heard by the ears of those around them.
“Do not allow any notions to enter your head that such declarations would work on me.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes and gave Augusta a smile and shake of her head before gently
tugging his arm, directing him back into the house.

*****

The remainder of the day passed with no further dramatic announcements, the tension that
had existed upon their arrival now forgotten to everyone’s great relief. Children were hastily
corralled and everyone sat down to eat around the massive table that filled the dining room to
its very limits. The number of plates, platters and bowls that were necessary to feed sixteen
people at a single table left the entire surface virtually covered, the single vase of flowers
quickly relegated to a corner shelf to make room for a large bowl of boiled potatoes.

After finishing their mid-day meal, Xander joined Mr. Heywood in his study to review the
marriage contract. When he’d insisted that he did not wish to take a dowry and requested that
any funds be set aside instead for Charlotte’s younger sisters, the man had reluctantly but
humbly accepted, alleviating any remaining anxiety Xander might have had. The remaining
terms of the contract had raised the man’s eyebrows a few times, but he’d managed to keep
his disbelief at the generosity his daughter was being shown relatively contained. Xander
would have given Charlotte the moon if it was within his means, so he saw nothing wrong
with providing provisions for her future that would ensure she would never want for
anything. And he took great delight in knowing that she would find the amount of her
allowance so excessive that she would call him ridiculous and roll her beautiful brown eyes
at him. She would never spend even half the amount but it would be an amusing point of
contention between them for years to come and he was not above causing his wife a small
amount of exasperation for his own enjoyment.

By the time they sat down to dinner, he was no longer overwhelmed by the sheer size of
Charlotte’s family and was beginning to feel oddly at home. Platters and bowls began to pass
around the table as the noise rose to a level that could only be achieved when sharing a table
with so many children. He glanced in the bowl that Charlotte held out to him and met her
amused look with one of chagrin. He spooned what he viewed as the minimally accepted
amount of peas to be polite onto his plate and handed the bowl on to Augusta sitting beside
him. Charlotte laughed and patted his arm as Mrs. Heywood watched with a glint in her eye
from her place a few seats away.

Although the volume diminished some as mouths were occupied more with eating than
speaking, the meal was a jovial affair. It was an experience he couldn’t recall ever having
before. So much laughter and love between a family was a foreign concept to him. After his
mother’s death, his own meals growing up had always been predominantly silent affairs and,
until recently, his meals with Leo and Augusta had not been much different. Looking around
the Heywood table, he wondered if he was catching a glimpse of his future with Charlotte
and their own family and the very thought made him impossibly happy.

When they left the table, he watched as Charlotte was sought out often by her entire family.
Her siblings looked to her to answer a question or provide advice as if it was the most natural
thing in the world and she gave each her undivided attention. The youngest child climbed
into her lap, content to merely be held in her sister’s arms. Any lingering feelings of
frustration she might have had for her father had disappeared the moment he’d given his
blessing and it was apparent that their relationship was particularly close. A pang of jealousy
and regret thrummed through his heart as he considered what it must have been like to grow
up in a home filled with such love.

The evening was passed in a rousing game of charades while the younger children occupied
themselves with spillikins in a corner. At first somewhat reluctant to participate, it soon
became evident to all that Xander and Augusta could hold their own against Mr. Heywood
and Charlotte. The riddles became more and more difficult and all had given up on guessing a
particularly impossible one put forth by the family patriarch until Xander and Charlotte
exchanged a look and answered correctly at the same time.

When the hour grew quite late, the two families reluctantly parted ways. Xander and the girls
bundled up for the short trip to the inn in town while the Heywoods dispersed throughout the
house, quiet calls of ‘goodnight ’ carrying down the stairs. Turning back for one last look, he
found Charlotte standing silhouetted in the doorway, her hand raised as she waved goodbye.

*****

The sun was just breaking when Charlotte woke the next morning. She stretched and
automatically looked to her right for Alison even though it had been months since she had
last shared a bed with her sister. It still seemed odd to sleep in this room alone. Her parents
could have easily moved Caroline into the room when Alison had married, but her mother
had insisted that Charlotte have the room to herself until her own marriage. Last night may
not have been the night before her wedding, but it had been the last she would spend in this
room.

Rising, she dressed and went through her morning ablutions. It would be best if she spent the
hour or so before breakfast packing her belongings for their journey back to Sanditon but she
was finding the very thought difficult. Nearly her entire life had been spent in this room.
Until her first visit to Sanditon, she’d only dreamed of ever leaving the small village. Now, as
she was on the verge of leaving for good, she felt rather nostalgic for the days of her youth,
spent with her family in the same small village she’d yearned to escape from.
Shaking herself from the sentimental feelings that would surely overtake her if she continued
to dwell upon them, she began sorting through the items she’d brought back with her from
Sanditon. Much of her clothing could be left behind for her younger sisters. Only her nicest
dresses were now suitable for the mistress of a sizable estate and she had ordered additional
dresses from the modiste in Sanditon to fill out her wardrobe. Her simplest of dresses, those
she had worn as a governess, would no longer be needed. Her fingers played across the plain
cotton fabric as memories of her days spent with Leo and Augusta filled her head.
Reluctantly, she began folding the dresses, setting them aside. She knew it was silly but each
one seemed to evoke a memory she cherished, making it far more difficult to part with them
than she’d expected. She paused as she stacked the garments and impulsively placed two
back into her trunk. Surely, she would still require something appropriate for trawling the
pond for molluscs with Leo.

That task complete, she turned to the shelf of books that had been her beloved companions
since childhood. She’d spent hours upon hours lost in the pages of each and every one.
Looking upon them now, she realized that most, if not all were already represented within the
shelves of the library at Heyrick Park. She took great delight in knowing that her love of
reading was shared with equal enthusiasm by every member of her new family. She treasured
each one of them but it would be foolish of her to bring them to Heyrick Park when she knew
the library already contained copies. Her younger brothers and sisters would treasure them
just as much as she did.

One particular book caught her attention and she smiled to herself. Opening the cover, the
pages fell open in her hands, laying bare the three cornflower blossoms that rested inside. A
dozen times or more she’d told herself to throw the dried flowers away, the memory
associated with their giving too sharp and painful during the first months of their separation.
As she’d learned to forgive him, the posy had remained hidden away between the pages,
purposefully ignored to prevent the probability that looking upon them might entice her into
falling back in love with him. Of course one could not fall back in love with someone you
never stopped loving in the first place. No, this book she would keep forever, even if there
were a hundred more copies at Heyrick Park.

She glanced out the window as she placed the book carefully within her trunk. In the
distance, she could just make out three figures walking down the lane, a man and woman
with a child between them, holding their hands. She smiled to herself. Here was her family,
coming to greet her and take her home. She considered going out to meet them but thought
better of it when she saw her father approach and greet Xander. It was best to let her father
and Xander interact without her as much as possible to encourage them to converse more
freely. The two men would come to realize just how much they had in common if they only
spoke to each other.

It was but a few minutes later when a sound in the doorway caused her to look up. “Good
morning, Augusta. How was your stay at the inn?”

Augusta walked slowly around the small room, examining the numerous items that still
remained unpacked. “It was better than I expected,” she admitted as she sat down on the bed.

Charlotte bit back a smile. “I’m glad to hear it.”

Augusta would not be herself if she wasn’t being bitingly honest. The Willingden inn was not
as elegant as inns in larger towns but she knew the rooms were well kept, the food good and
the innkeeper and his family hard-working and well regarded. She watched Augusta from the
corner of her eye, sensing that something was weighing on her mind but she would allow her
to speak in her own time, content to wait as she slowly packed her things.

“May I ask you something?” Augusta finally asked.

“Of course,” she nodded, her eyes skimming the title of another book. “You can ask me
anything.”

“Yesterday, what you said to your father, about Uncle…,” she bit her lip, hesitant to continue.

Charlotte felt her cheeks warming with embarrassment and smiled despite herself. “I’m afraid
I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and was a bit overly dramatic,” she admitted.
“I was frustrated with my father’s hesitation in giving us his blessing to marry.” She studied
the younger woman for a moment. “It must have reminded you a little of your own
experience with your Uncle just a few weeks ago.”

Augusta shrugged as she picked up a seashell from the dresser. “I did get a little angry when I
thought about what you had said again last night. But the more I considered your words and
the way you described how you felt, I realized that I never truly felt for Edward the way you
do for my uncle.”

Charlotte sat down, patting the bed next to her for Augusta to sit beside her. She’d anticipated
having this conversation at some point, it may as well be now. “Do you recall my telling you
that I had known love and loss in the past?” Augusta nodded. “The man I described was
Sidney Parker, Tom and Arthur’s brother. The summer before last, I fell in love with him and
he told me he wished to marry me. But…he chose to marry another woman in order to secure
money to save Tom Parker from ruin after the fire that nearly destroyed Sanditon that
summer. When Sidney told me he could not marry me after all, my heart was broken. And I
swore that I would never allow myself to love again.”

Augusta eyed her speculatively. “And you reconsidered for Uncle?”

She laughed. “I know it must be difficult for you to imagine, given your own relationship
with him in the past, but yes. And I know now that the way I feel for your uncle is different
from the way I felt about Sidney. It is so much… more.”

“And he loves you the same way?” Augusta was clearly skeptical that such emotions were
even possible for her uncle to feel.

She found herself recalling his words to her once more. Bereft without you. A day wasted.
Fathomless. “He has assured me repeatedly that he does.”

“But how did you know you loved him in that way and it wasn’t just something fleeting and
inconsequential?”
“Neither of us were looking to fall in love. I had sworn off love and marriage and your
uncle…well he had sworn off happiness, hadn’t he? But then suddenly it was there, this
feeling of wanting to be near him, to see him smile, to hear his voice. And over time, wanting
became a need. As though I could not be complete if he was not near. And even though I was
hurt when we separated, those feelings only grew once I saw him again.”

“I really thought I loved Edward. Now I can’t imagine loving someone else. I’m afraid that I
won’t know if a man is only pretending to care for me because of my inheritance.”

She squeezed the younger woman’s hand. “You will find love again, Augusta. It might take
some time for you to be able to fully trust someone again, but when the right man comes
along, you’ll know. And your uncle and I will be there to help guide you should you feel the
need.”

“You’re the only one who has ever tried to understand how I felt. I’m sorry I was so horrible
to you when you first arrived.” She appeared rather repentant.

“You had every right to your feelings,” Charlotte said. “And I’m sorry your uncle wasn’t
better prepared to help with your anger and grief. I’m certain that if he wasn’t so engulfed in
his own guilt and grief over your aunt’s death, he would have been better able to help you
when you first came to live with him.”

“I always assumed he simply had no interest in being around us, that we weren’t important
enough to him,” Augusta admitted quietly.

“Oh, Augusta, no,” she clasped her hands in hers. “I know he does not always express his
feelings well but he loves you and Leo a great deal.” She contemplated her next words
carefully, wanting to respect Xander’s privacy and the secret he still kept. “After your aunt
died, your uncle blamed himself. He believed that he had failed her as a husband…failed to
care for her and protect her. And over time, he convinced himself that he was unworthy of
being loved…by you, by Leo and by me. It’s why he has held himself so distant from
everyone for so long. He was certain that if he allowed a relationship to grow between us,
that he would only end up failing me as he believed he failed your aunt. So he sent me away
to protect me, just as he convinced himself that it would be better for you if he held you at
arms length.”

“He was really willing to give you up because he thought it would be better for you?”

She nodded. “He was. He would rather take on all the pain in the world if it means saving
those he cares about from feeling it instead. Did you never wonder why he didn’t simply send
you away to some school?” she asked. “He could have easily done so. But he made a promise
to himself and to your parents that he would take you into his home so you could be with the
only family you had left. Because he knew what it was like to be alone and he did not wish
you to feel the same.”

“But I did feel alone,” Augusta said softly. “I didn’t think he wanted me.”

“Augusta, I think it’s safe to say that you put up walls around your heart when you moved to
Heyrick Park?” She nodded somewhat sheepishly in agreement. “Did it never occur to you
that your uncle had done the same thing after your aunt died?”

Augusta’s face took on a pained expression as she considered her words carefully. Charlotte
could almost see the thoughts spinning in her head as various emotions flitted across her face.
It was safe to say that the young woman was beginning to view her uncle somewhat
differently.

“Your uncle is not quite the man you thought him to be. He does a very good job of hiding
his feelings and sometimes a poor job of expressing them when he does try. But that doesn’t
mean he doesn’t care. As little prepared as you were to lose your parents and move far away
to live with your uncle and cousin, he was just as unprepared to suddenly become the
guardian to a young woman who was grieving her parents. It hasn’t been easy for you,
Augusta, but it hasn’t been easy for him either.”

Augusta’s eyes filled with tears as she began to truly acknowledge her uncle’s actions and
feelings for the first time.

“Even though he’s never said anything to you, your uncle knows more than most what it
means to feel alone. Perhaps if you each gave the other the chance, you’d see just how much
you have in common. And you’d both see that you’ve never really been alone.”

*****

Xander entered the Heywood home hoping to find Charlotte. He’d been immediately greeted
by Mr. Heywood as soon as they’d arrived but despite their early arrival, he’d yet to see her
this morning. He was anxious to determine when she planned on leaving so he could let the
coachmen know when they would be expected at the farm. Now, as he walked through the
house, he found Heywoods left and right but none were the one he sought.

His eyes landed on the tall, slim figure of his niece walking towards him. “Augusta, have you
seen…”

Augusta’s face crumpled and his words were cut off as she flung herself into his arms, buried
her face against his shoulder and began to cry. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her
even as he looked past her to Charlotte who had been walking behind. He gave her a
desperate look, seeking an explanation for his niece’s sudden outburst but she merely shook
her head, her eyes shining bright with her own unshed tears. “Augusta, what’s wrong? Did
something happen?”

He felt her shake her head against his chest and took that as a denial that something horrible
had caused her to burst into tears. Charlotte’s lack of obvious concern should have set him
somewhat at ease but it only increased his confusion. She seemed almost pleased that his
niece was crying. He patted Augusta awkwardly on the back. “Come now, whatever it is can’t
be that bad.” It took a few more minutes before her tears began to subside. He grasped her
arms gently and pushed himself away enough that he could look her in the eye. “Why are you
crying? What can I do?”

She shook her head and swiped at her cheeks. “Nothing bad has happened,” she attempted to
reassure him. “I…I’m so sorry, Uncle. For how I’ve treated you these past few weeks,
months…years. I was so caught up in my own anger and grief that I never considered how
difficult I made things for you. You didn’t deserve my anger. It was easier to blame you for
everything than to believe you were only trying to do what was best for me. Please forgive
me.”

He blinked rapidly, stunned by her sudden contrition. “There’s nothing to forgive, Augusta. It
was only natural for you to have such strong feelings after your parents died.” He sought
Charlotte’s assistance once more but she merely stood watching the two of them, a look of
tearful happiness on her face. “I know I have not been the uncle you deserve, or even needed,
and you were well within your rights to be angry with me on more than one occasion. I
should do a better job of remembering that you are no longer a child and treat you as a grown
woman.” He pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. “It seems we’re
both too stubborn for our own goods. Shall we try to start over?”

She dabbed at her eyes and gave him a watery smile. “I’d like nothing more, Uncle. I am
sorry that I threw myself upon you. You must have thought the world was ending. I’ll go and
freshen up now before I cause anyone else to think the worst has happened.”

He nodded and turned to Charlotte as Augusta made her escape. “What in the world caused
that?” he asked, still somewhat befuddled.

She stepped closer, sliding her hand into his. “We were just talking upstairs,” she admitted.
“Augusta has finally come to realize that the two of you have more in common than she
thought.”

“Hmm,” he hummed. It was difficult to be optimistic after so many years of convincing

himself of the worst. “I’m not sure that I feel as certain of that as you do but I will try to
approach Augusta on more even terms in the future.” Reaching up, he brushed a lingering
tear from her cheek. “I’m afraid I have no more handkerchiefs to hand out.”

She looked quickly up and down the hall before brushing her lips briefly against his. “That is
quite alright. I have packed plenty in my trunk to take back to Sanditon with us.”

*****

When the green carriage appeared in the Heywood drive, the warm contentment she’d found
from being at home swiftly turned into sadness. Each of the Heywoods had finally come to
the reluctant conclusion that she was truly leaving for good this time and tears fell freely as
goodbyes were said. There would certainly be brief visits, but she knew it would no longer be
the same.

The youngest of her siblings gathered around her skirts, wrapping their arms around her,
begging her not to leave. The older boys feigned indifference but they squeezed her just as
tightly when she pulled them each, in turn, into her arms. She whispered words of affection to
Caroline and Lizzy as they embraced, telling them to write as often as they wished and
promising she would always be a sisterly ear should they have need. She knew it likely
wouldn’t be long before they too would be seeking advice about love and marriage from their
eldest sister.
If she thought she could keep her tears contained, the proof that she was sorely mistaken
became evident when she turned to her mother to say goodbye. “Goodbye, Mama. I will miss
you more than I can ever say.”

Anne Heywood pulled her eldest daughter close. “Oh, my darling Charlotte, you need not put
into words what I myself feel. It’s always hardest to leave the ones we love the most.”

She turned to her father and was engulfed in his arms before she could even say a word. “My
girl,” he murmured. “I would not be able to let you leave if I didn’t believe with my whole
heart that this was the path you were destined to walk. I hope you know that I only fought
against it because I did not want to accept it was true.”

“I know, Papa,” she rested her head against his shoulder. “He’ll take care of me. I promise.”

“I know, my girl. He’s given me his word,” he patted her back the way he’d done since she
was a baby. “And you’ll take care of all of them.”

She finally managed to pull herself away, certain that her own face looked as blotchy and tear
streaked as those of her entire family. Leo and Augusta had said their farewells and settled
themselves into the carriage, leaving Xander standing uncomfortably next to the carriage, his
quota for handling tears having been met with Augusta’s surprising apology that morning.
The poor man looked exceedingly concerned for her well-being, petrified that he would be
forced to extricate his betrothed from under the weight of a pile of sobbing Heywoods.

With a final wave, she took his waiting hand and climbed into the carriage, tucking the lap
robes around her as Xander said a hasty goodbye before following her. When he was assured
they were all comfortable, he rapped on the roof. She didn’t look back as the carriage rolled
away, instead fixing her eyes on the future sitting across from her.

*****

The carriage was silent for some time after it left the Heywood farm, each of the occupants
lost in their own thoughts. Leo and Augusta had both made unexpected friendships with
Charlotte’s younger siblings and were already missing their new friends. Augusta, at least,
was likely to begin corresponding with Caroline, a welcome confidante close to her age but
Leo was not much of a letter writer at nine years of age. She leaned against him with a heavy
sigh and he wrapped his arm around her comfortingly, promising her that they would visit
again and reminding her of her new friends back in Sanditon.

He watched Charlotte surreptitiously from across the carriage. She was lost in thought, her
eyes distant as she stared out the window. He had no doubt she was feeling a deep sense of
sadness as she left her parents’ home for the last time. He had already determined that they
would visit as frequently as possible in the future but he knew it would not feel the same to
her. She would return as a visitor to her childhood home and each year more and more of her
siblings would leave to make their own homes elsewhere, just as her sister Alison had.

Seeing her in Willingden, surrounded by her loving family had helped him see her in a new
light. He’d always known how much Leo loved her and Augusta’s high esteem for her former
governess spoke volumes as to the woman that Charlotte was. But the love he’d seen her
family display for her nearly rivaled his own in its intensity. He knew now, without a shadow
of a doubt that she would be the most amazing wife, mother and teacher. The gratitude he had
for the miracle that had brought her into his life was immeasurable.

After some time had passed, she seemed to wake from her reverie and responded to his
questioning look with a gentle smile, giving him silent assurance that all was well. Reaching
beneath the lap robes that covered her knees, she pulled a small book from where it had been
tucked away between herself and Augusta.

“And what book are you reading?” he asked, breaking the silence “Will you share?”

He was pleased to see a familiar glint in her eyes as she settled back into the seat. “I
happened to come across it in my father’s study and he said I could have it,” she said,
showing him the spine. “Catullus fifty-one, was it, Mr. Colbourne?”

A soft chuckle escaped him as he gazed unabashedly at her. “It was indeed, Miss Heywood.”
It should no longer surprise him that she would find some way of solving any mystery he put
forth to her. He tucked the knowledge that his future bride could not tolerate secrets away for
future consideration.

She opened the books and flipped through the pages before settling on one. He turned his
attention out the window, feeling suddenly self-conscious. A few minutes passed before he
felt a nudge against his foot. Turning his head, he succumbed once more to the warm, brown
depths of her eyes as she looked across the carriage at him with such a look of love that he
could not help but feel it radiating off of her. He smiled sheepishly in return and looked back
out the window once more, only his contemplation of the passing landscape and the presence
of his niece and daughter prevented him from doing something quite scandalous.

*****

He seems to me to be equal to a god,

He, if it may be, seems to surpass the very gods

Who sitting opposite you again and again

Gazes at you and hears you

Sweetly laughing, such a thing takes away

all my senses, alas!

For whenever I see you,

At once no voice at all remains

Within my mouth

But my tongue falters, a subtle flame steals down

 Through my limbs, my ears tingle

With inward humming, my eyes are

Quenched

In twofold night.

Catullus 51 (Catullus, Roman, c. 84 - c. 54 B.C.)

Chapter End Notes

My new favorite line I’ve ever written might just be “the weight of a pile of sobbing
Heywoods”. I’m going to need to figure out how to use that in everyday conversation
going forward.

The game charades was not the same during the regency era as it is today. Rather than
acting out clues, the players were presented with riddles and tried to decipher the
answers. I couldn’t picture Xander agreeing to play a game where he had to stand up and
act anything out, but he probably would have excelled at riddles.

Wishing all those that celebrate a very happy and safe holiday. I hope you get to spend
time doing the things you enjoy most with the people you love.
 To Have & to Hold
Chapter Summary

Yep, they finally get married.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

To Have & To Hold

Charlotte rose early and dressed, donning her new coat and gloves before leaving Trafalgar
House and walking towards the cliffs. The wedding was still a week away and between dress
fittings, finalizing the menu for the wedding breakfast, last minute changes to the guest list,
and choosing new fabrics for the rooms in Heyrick Park that most urgently required updating,
her head was spinning. She was greatly in need of the sense of calm she usually managed to
find when walking along the cliffs.

She was surprised when a dark shadow in the distance gradually took shape as she drew
closer, forming into the figures of a man and his horse waiting patiently for her to join them.
They’d both been so busy that they’d not been able to see each other for the past two days.
She should have known that their separation would draw him to the cliffs just as she had
been. Her steps quickened, nearly turning into a run as she hurried into his outstretched arms.

She inhaled the scent of him, filling her lungs. “Oh, I’ve missed you.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, kissing her and rubbing his whiskers against her cheek until she
scrunched up her face and pulled away. He grinned and touched her nose. “I’ve missed you
too. I dreamed of you last night and when I woke up this morning I just knew somehow that
you’d be here.”

“Did you? What a lovely thing to say.” She reached up and stroked Hannibal’s nose.

“What brings you here this morning?”

“I just felt the need to escape for a while. All anyone asks me about is the wedding. Just
yesterday, Lady Denham came to Trafalgar House for tea and asked me if Mr. Pryce and his
nephew could come to the wedding as they will be arriving in town the day before. I had little
choice but to agree.”

“His nephew?”

“Or great-nephew. I hardly recall. I often find it difficult to focus my attention on everything
Lady Denham says,” she admitted.
He shrugged. “I’ve no objections as long as you and the Parkers approve. It’s easier to simply
let her have her way than argue against something that won’t cause either of us any particular
reason to complain.”

“You’re right, of course,” she agreed. “After all, we were invited to their wedding, even if it
didn’t actually take place.”

He took Hannibal’s reins in hand. “Come back to the house with me. We’ll spend the
morning together and you can take the carriage back to town with the girls after lunch. And
we shall all agree to not discuss the wedding at all.”

She knew she should walk back to town and spend the rest of the morning attending to all of
the details of the wedding that remained undone. But the thought of escaping to Heyrick Park
for a few hours was far more appealing. “I’ll need to send a message to Mary.”

He nodded, looking pleased. “Of course.” He turned Hannibal and they began to walk back
towards Heyrick Park. “While I have no doubt that Lady Denham gave you plenty of cause to
wish to escape this morning, I can tell there’s something else bothering you. What is it?”

She slipped her hand around the arm he offered. “I received a letter from my mother,” she
admitted reluctantly. “I had hoped that she might convince my father to come to Sanditon for
our wedding.”

“She was unsuccessful?”

She shook her head. “It no longer matters. The younger children have been passing a fever
amongst themselves and it seems that each day another wakes up ill. She said she won’t risk
bringing illness here on the eve of our wedding.”

He considered the news for a moment as they walked. “I am sorry for your sake. I know how
much you wanted your parents in attendance. I would understand if you wished to postpone
the wedding.” His tone was sympathetic but she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“No!” She stopped mid-stride, turning to look at him. “I do not wish that at all! Of course I
would like my family to be there, especially my parents. But I always knew they might not be
able to attend. My father has long prided himself on not traveling more than five miles from
Willingden. Convincing him to visit Sanditon would be an amazing feat indeed. But I would
never wish for them to travel when someone isn’t well and I appreciate them not wanting to
risk one of us getting sick before the wedding. They would not wish us to postpone the
wedding for their sake.”

A relieved gust of air escaped his lips, as though he’d been holding his breath in anticipation
of her response. “Still, you’re disappointed.”

“Of course I am,” she admitted as they resumed walking. “Like most young girls, growing
up, I always imagined what my wedding would be like. The dress and the flowers and the
wedding breakfast with all of my family and friends dancing and laughing. Everyone would
gather around as my husband and I left for our very own home, just the two of us.” They
paused on the rise, Heyrick Park visible through the trees in the distance. “I certainly never
imagined my first home being an estate like this.”

“I can’t say I ever imagined living here when I was young either,” he conceded. “This life
was meant to be Samuel’s.”

She took in the wide expanse of land before them, unable to picture him anywhere else. “I
disagree. I believe that we are all given the life we are meant to have. Some paths are just
more difficult to see than others.”

“You imagined your path would be to marry Mr. Starling and stay in Willingden for the rest
of your life.”

“No,” she disagreed after some consideration. “My dreams were never so clear as that. I
never had an image in my head of who I would marry or even that I would stay in
Willingden.”

“What did you dream of then, when you thought of what your married life would be like one
day?”

“My mother would sometimes tell Alison and I stories about the first months of her marriage
before I was born. She was so excited to be the mistress of her own home and felt such pride
in even the simplest of household tasks because it was her house. Although they didn’t have
much, they cherished that time together, when it was just the two of them. I always pictured
that when I thought about what it would be like to be married.”

She glanced at him, surprised to see a thoughtful frown on his face. “Please don’t take that as
an indication that I’m in any way unhappy with the life we will be making together,” she said
hastily, concerned he might have the wrong impression. “I wouldn’t change a thing about our
life together and I love Heyrick Park. I simply never imagined something so grand when I
was growing up. I may have even agreed to marry you for your library alone if you’d asked
me on the day you showed it to me, overwhelmed as I was by the thought of having so many
books at my disposal.”

He studied her for a moment, his expression now amused. “You never imagined yourself
living in the lap of luxury like some fairy tale with a palace, a dozen servants waiting on you,
and thousands of books?”

“Certainly not,” she laughed, leaning into him. “I suppose growing up in a house that was
always so full of people made simply having my own home with my husband sound like a
luxury in itself. It doesn’t matter if we live in a castle, a cottage or a cave. All I ever wanted
was to have a happy marriage like the one my parents have. And I already know that dream is
going to come true.”

*****

The sound of footsteps stopping in the hall caused Xander to look up from the pile of
correspondence awaiting his attention to find his brother standing in the doorway. He
frowned. “Did I know you were visiting today?”
He had little time for his brother today. Between the unexpected journey to Falmouth, their
trip to visit Charlotte’s family and the time he’d devoted to his betrothed and the girls,
Xander had fallen behind on managing the affairs of the estate. Now, he found himself not
only trying to catch up on the work that had fallen to the wayside, but he was also trying to
prepare for their upcoming extended absence after the wedding.

Samuel looked amused as he settled himself into a chair. “I should think so considering Susan
and I were invited for dinner. But I suppose it’s not all that surprising you would forget. Your
mind has been rather preoccupied lately.”

He couldn’t deny that he had indeed forgotten. He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his
nose. His head was beginning to ache. “Charlotte and the girls are at a dress fitting and it’s far
too early for dinner.”

Samuel chuckled. “I’m well aware on both counts, Brother. Susan is with Charlotte and the
girls in town so I thought I’d come out early to spend some time with you. It feels a little as
though you’ve been avoiding me lately.”

“You’re newly married,” he reminded him. “I was being respectful of your time with your
new wife.”

“And we returned to Sanditon in order to spend time with you, the girls and Charlotte and to
assist in any way we can with your own wedding. Susan has made herself available to
Charlotte and I’m here to do the same for you. So make use of me. What can I do to help?
I’m a font of knowledge on a variety of subjects. Legal matters are of course my area of
particular expertise but please feel free to ask anything you like.”

“You’re hardly one to advise me on matters that involve this estate.” Xander gave him a
pointed look. “As you can see, I’m buried in correspondence that requires my attention.”

“If you’d ever bother to hire a steward, Xander, you’d have far more time to enjoy life.”

“Thank you, but I’ve managed quite well without your business advice for the past decade.
I’m confident I can continue to do so in the future.”

“You really should give it some consideration,” Samuel rose to fill a glass with port. “I
understand why you didn’t hire a steward years ago but it’s plainly evident that the estate is
doing quite well now. There’s no need to continue on without one. Unless you’d prefer to
continue burying yourself in work so you have an excuse to hide in here all day. I’m sure
Charlotte won’t mind at all if she barely sees you.”

Xander ground his teeth together. “Enough, Sam.”

Samuel sighed, and walked towards the door. “I’ll leave you alone then, but please take some
advice. Do not allow work to keep you from enjoying the new life you are building here. I
know you’ve spent the past decade in some sort of self-exile, buried in work. But you have a
second chance to create the life you’ve always wanted. Don’t make a mistake you’ll regret.”

*****
Mrs. Wheatley made her customary end of night walk through the kitchens, storerooms and
laundry, ensuring all was as expected before climbing the stairs to do the same on the ground
floor, moving from room to room. She wasn’t the least bit surprised to find light coming from
the study despite the late hour. Even though Miss Heywood, Samuel and Mrs. Colbourne had
returned to town some time ago, Xander had not turned in as she’d hoped.

She found him sitting before the fire, staring into the flames. She supposed that was at least
better than finding him sitting behind his desk, quill in hand. “Do you need anything, Mr.
Colbourne?” she asked from the doorway.

He turned his attention from the fire, his eyes tired. “No, thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.”

“It’s late,” she pointed out. “And you’ve been working too hard. You should get some rest.”

He nodded in agreement but made no move to rise. She turned to leave, knowing there was
little she could do to convince him to retire if he was caught in one of his reflective moods.

“Do you have a moment, Mrs. Wheatley?”

She turned back, nearly rolling her eyes at him. He knew very well that her moments
belonged to him if he chose to demand them. Yet the boy inside him still asked, rather than
demanded. “Of course, sir.”

“Please sit,” he indicated the chair opposite.

She raised her eyes at the unusual request but sat down as requested. Clearly something was
on his mind.

“I wish to do something for Charlotte that will require your assistance. I know the wedding is
only a week away and I apologize for the extra work it will cause but it only just occurred to
me.”

Far be it from her to discourage him from making any overtures to his bride. As she saw it,
Miss Heywood deserved any gift he deemed appropriate to give her. “Whatever you need,
Xander,” she readily agreed. “I’m happy to help where I can.”

*****

“Charlotte!”

“Georgiana!” she hurried to stand and embrace her friend. “I can hardly believe you’re here!
It seems so long since we’ve seen each other. You must tell me everything about your
wedding.”

Georgiana sat down next to her, ignoring the glances of those around them in the crowded tea
room. Weeks later, the news of her broken engagement with the Duke of Buckinghamshire in
favor of marrying the penniless Otis Molyneux was still raising eyebrows.

“We can discuss that after you tell me about your own plans,” she said, pulling off her gloves.
“Your wedding is only two days away and I have missed everything! You must tell me all
about it. The last time we spoke, you were determined to leave for Ireland and now you are
marrying Mr. Colbourne!”

Charlotte felt her cheeks flush. “I explained everything in my letters.”

“Pfft,” Georgiana brushed her claim aside. “Letters can only express so much. It would have
taken a novel for you to tell me everything. Now, start at the beginning and do not leave
anything out.”

“Which beginning?” she laughed. “When I began working for him? When I returned to
Sanditon for your party? Or when he stopped the carriage?”

“Yes to all of them!”

So she began to speak, finally giving her friend the long desired and much owed story of how
she had become engaged to Alexander Colbourne, filling in all of the blanks that her friend
did not yet know. Georgiana made the occasional sound of disbelief and approval as the story
unfolded. The soft look of utter joy for her friend upon learning of his ardent declaration after
stopping the carriage bound for Ireland warmed Charlotte’s heart. It was such a relief to
unburden herself of everything after keeping so much to herself for so long.

“I am sorry that I didn’t share everything sooner. Perhaps if I had, I would have seen how
foolish I was being. Putting it all into words now makes it much more evident how ridiculous
it was to deny my feelings to begin with.”

“You do not need to apologize,” Georgiana reassured her, taking her hand in hers. “ I was
caught up in the facade of my engagement to Harry and the search for my mother. I only wish
the best for you, Charlotte. If you tell me that he will care for you and you will be happy, then
I am satisfied.”

“I have never been happier, Georgiana. And I have never felt more loved than I do when I am
with the girls and Xander.”

“ Xander ?” Georgiana arched one dark brow.

Charlotte blushed even more. “It is how he has been known by his family since he was quite
young.”

“Well then,” Georgiana nudged her with a gleam in her eye, “you must tell me what you and
Xander’s plans are for after the wedding.”

*****

The sun had not yet begun to paint the sky when Xander rose and dressed, leaving his
bedroom while the house was still silent and dark. He made his way down to the kitchens,
where the staff was just beginning to prepare for the excitement of the day ahead.

Mrs. Wheatley looked up from the list she was reading and gave him a disapproving look.
“There’s no need for you to be up so early, Mr. Colbourne.”
“I couldn’t sleep, Mrs. Wheatley,” he admitted. “And there was no point in lying in bed
awake.” He reached into the basket of apples on the table, removing two and placing one in
his pocket.

“As early as it is, you do not have time for a long ride this morning, sir,” she warned. “I’ll not
have time to chase you down to remind you that you still need to bathe and dress. Time has a
way of passing much more quickly when there’s much to do.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Wheatley, I don’t intend to ride this morning. I’m just going to walk
down to the stables for a bit and clear my head” A visit to Hannibal would go far towards
relaxing him, even if he did not have time for a ride, and the horse always appreciated a treat.

Her expression softened. “It would be best to not dwell too much on things you cannot
change now.”

“There’s no need to worry on that count,” he assured her. “I would not change a thing that has
led to this day.”

*****

The morning of the wedding, only puffy white clouds dotted the sky as the sun cheerfully
warmed the late autumn air. Across Sanditon, wedding guests woke, pleased to see that the
day had dawned with such a promising start. The residents of Trafalgar House, however, had
little time to consider the weather as they bustled about, voices carrying through the halls as
calls rang out from one room to the next.

From the bathtub in her room, Charlotte listened as Mary, Tom and Arthur scurried around
the house and smiled at the sound of the children’s laughter as they ran past her door. Nothing
could have reminded her more of her home in Willingden and she silently said a prayer of
thanks for her second family here in Sanditon.

Rising from the bath, she quickly dried herself and pulled on her dressing gown. Susan would
be arriving shortly with her maid to help her dress and do her hair. Augusta and Leo would
join them later so the four of them could travel to the church, her newest family all together.
Today, she became a sister-in-law, aunt, mother and wife.

*****

“Augusta,” Xander knocked on his niece’s door. “May I come in?”

Augusta’s surprise was clearly evident when the door opened. He’d never once knocked on
her door in all the time she’d lived with him. “Of course, Uncle. Come in.”

He nodded his thanks and entered her room. It was much changed from the childhood room
he’d known, thanks to the recent efforts of Charlotte who had dictated that Augusta’s room
be the first to be updated so it better suited the young woman. The wallpaper and draperies
were now shades of lavender dotted with sprigs of tiny white flowers, the paintings of horses
and dogs replaced with ones of gardens in radiant bloom. He was ashamed that he’d never
thought to offer to do the same when she’d first arrived at Heyrick Park.
His niece seated herself on the bed, watching him with undisguised interest. “Can I do
something for you, Uncle? The carriage will be taking Leo and I to Trafalgar house shortly.”

He nodded, snapping back to the reason he’d sought her out. “Of course,” he said hastily. “I
won’t delay you. I have something for Charlotte that I was hoping you could deliver to her.”
He held out the flat wooden box. “It’s rather important and I know I can entrust this to you.”

She took the box and raised her eyes to look at him. “May I?” she asked. He nodded and she
opened the clasp. “Oh, Uncle!” she gasped. “They are beautiful! She will love them.”

His ears warmed. “Do you think so? The earrings were my mother’s but the necklace is new.
I’d hoped they were a good match. I debated purchasing a pair of new earrings as well as the
necklace but I wanted Charlotte to have something that belonged to my mother. I like to think
they would have grown to be fond of each other.”

“They are perfect together,” she reassured him. “And everyone is fond of Charlotte. I’m sure
your mother would have loved her as much as the rest of us do.” She closed the lid, fastening
the clasp securely. “I will guard them with my life.”

He chuckled. “I certainly hope there will be no need for that, Augusta, but I appreciate your
dedication.” He moved to leave.

“Uncle?”

He turned back, brows raised in question.

“I wanted to say how glad I am that you and Charlotte are getting married. She will be a
wonderful wife, mother and aunt to us all. But mostly, I’m glad that you are finally happy.
For too long, I didn’t recognize how lonely you were because I couldn’t see past my own
feelings. Seeing you with Charlotte has shown me what being truly happy with someone can
be and I hope that I will be as lucky as the two of you are someday.” She rose, setting the box
aside, and tentatively kissed his cheek.

“You will make some man very lucky one day, Augusta. And when that day comes, I will be
the proudest man in the world.” He smiled and kissed her forehead gratefully. “Even though
it will pain me to let you go.”

*****

“Mama! Mama!” Leo burst into the room, nearly bowling Charlotte over as she wrapped her
arms around her waist, squeezing her tightly.

“Good morning, Leo!” Charlotte returned the child’s embrace. “My, don’t you look lovely in
your dress!”

Leo grinned, her blue eyes shining. “Papa said that today you are officially my mother so I
may call you mama in front of everyone.”

“You may indeed,” she agreed, stroking her blond hair and fighting back tears. She could
only imagine how much it meant for the girl to finally be able to say she had a mother. “And
I couldn’t be happier to be called your mother, Leo.” She pulled her in for another hug.

“I’m glad it’s you,” Leo whispered, their cheeks pressed together. “I always hoped you would
become my mother. From the very first day we met.”

“Oh, my sweet girl,” she held her tightly for a long moment before pulling apart and sharing
a smile. “I promise I will be the best mother I possibly can.”

“Come now, Leo,” Mary said gently. “Nanny and the other children are downstairs in the
parlor. She’s promised to read as many stories as you wish as long as you all sit very still and
keep your clothes perfectly clean.”

Charlotte suppressed a laugh as Mary ushered Leo out the door. She hoped a maid was
assisting Nanny or the poor woman might be overwhelmed trying to keep four children quiet
and still all by herself.

Sitting at the dressing table, she allowed Susan’s maid to begin pinning the silk flowers she’d
selected into her hair. Xander had mentioned in passing how much he liked seeing her hair
down so she’d opted to wear her hair loose with only the top and sides twisted and pulled
back from her face. The style felt much more like Charlotte from Willingden rather than
Charlotte, Mistress of Heyrick Park. There would be time enough to assume her new role.

Mary returned a few minutes later, Augusta in tow. “I’m sorry I’m late, I was waylaid by
Arthur with a question about the flowers for the breakfast. He is rather insistent that
everything be absolutely perfect.” She extended a flat wooden box towards Charlotte. “Uncle
has sent you a gift.”

She glanced at Augusta in the mirror as Susan’s maid placed the last pin in her hair. “A gift?”
She turned on the stool, accepting the box from Augusta’s hand. She gasped when she
opened the lid, revealing the contents.

“Oh my! That’s stunning!” Mary exclaimed.

Susan nodded in agreement. “It is indeed. Your groom has immaculate taste, my dear.”

Charlotte ran her fingers over the diamond necklace in awe. Also nestled in the box, were a
pair of diamond earrings accented with opals and pearls, a family heirloom if she had to
guess. She could never have imagined that she’d receive such a gift. “They’re absolutely
gorgeous,” she agreed, fighting tears. “I can hardly believe he would send me such a thing.”

Augusta gave a snort of amusement. “You know Uncle would give you the moon if he
could,” she insisted. “The earrings belonged to his mother. He wanted you to have something
of hers. The necklace he selected himself. I have to say, I was rather impressed when I first
saw it.”

Charlotte slipped the earrings onto her ears and held the necklace up. “Would you help me
with the necklace, Augusta?”
The younger woman stood as Charlotte swept aside her hair. “I’m so happy you’re going to
be my aunt. I admit, you’ve changed us all for the better. I can’t imagine Uncle marrying
anyone else.” She clasped the necklace around her neck, her hands coming to rest on her
shoulders.

Speechless, Charlotte could only reach and squeeze her hand in response.

*****

Mrs. Wheatley was waiting in the hall when he came down the stairs. He stood patiently as
she looked him over carefully, ensuring he met her approval before giving a final nod. “You
look very smart, sir. Mrs. Colbourne did an excellent job choosing the fabric for your
waistcoat. You have nothing to worry about. Everything is ready for your return this
afternoon, as you requested. The day will be perfect in every way.”

A smile tugged at his lips. They’d always had a special bond, even before his mother had
died and she knew exactly how to set him at ease. He could well recall the nights she’d spent
rocking him back to sleep after some nightmare, afternoons spent together in the kitchens as
he waited patiently for her latest batch of shortbread, and the many surges of anger they’d
endured together, both from Charles Colbourne and, as he grew older, his own outbursts in
response to his father’s abusive behavior. As a young man, the ferocity of his own anger had
frightened him and, for years, it was only her quiet reassurance that he would not end up like
his father that had kept him from succumbing to what had then been his greatest fear.

After Lucy’s betrayal and subsequent death, only Mrs. Wheatley had held out hope that he
would find happiness again, long after he had determined that he did not deserve it. She’d
supported him through the difficult years as he struggled to bring the estate back to prosperity
and refused to allow him to completely shut Leo and Augusta out of his life. She was the
only one in his life who’d ever had faith in him until Charlotte had arrived and wound her
way around his heart.

“You saw it from the start, didn’t you? That I would fall in love with her?”

She shrugged, her eyes gleaming. “I’m surprised you didn’t. But then you always have been
rather stubborn, unable to see what’s right in front of you at times.”

He caught her hand in his. “Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.” Leaning down, he brushed a kiss
against her cheek. “For everything.”

The usually unflappable woman blinked back tears. “You deserve to be happy, Xander. If
ever there were two people who were meant to be together, it is you and Miss Heywood.”

His smile widened to a grin. “I couldn’t agree more, Mrs. Wheatley.”

Samuel stepped into the hall. “It’s time, Xander.”

*****
Charlotte slipped on her wedding dress, the silk the color of the palest pink blush overlaid
with a sheer ivory and trimmed in lace embroidered in petals of ivory, pink and pale blue.

“Oh Charlotte, you are a vision,” Susan said. “Alexander will be struck speechless.”

“I certainly hope not,” she laughed. “He does have to say his vows, after all.”

“Too true,” Susan agreed as her maid finished fastening the last clasp. “I am so proud of you,
Charlotte. You’ve come so far since we met in that London ballroom. I know it has not been
the easiest of journeys but I hope you agree that the destination was worth it in the end.”

“I did have my doubts a time or two,” Charlotte admitted. “Too many nights I cried myself to
sleep from heartache. I promised myself that I would never let my heart be broken again. I
never expected that Xander would change so much, that he would go to such lengths to prove
himself to me. I could not continue to deny my love for him when faced with losing him
forever. I doubted my decision every single day after I accepted Ralph’s proposal. But I’ve
never once doubted my decision to marry Xander and I know I never will.”

Susan grasped her hands. “I can honestly say that he is the luckiest of men and the fact that
he is fully aware of it speaks overwhelmingly of his intelligence, humility, and good sense. I
am certain that he will support you in any endeavor you undertake, hold you during any
sorrow, shelter you in any storm and celebrate your every triumph. He will be a true partner,
Charlotte, and that is a rare gift indeed.”

“Something the Colbourne men have in common, perhaps?”

Susan smiled knowingly. “I dare say they do. Although Samuel is much more willing to extol
his own virtues than his brother is.”

Charlotte laughed. “I should thank you both for everything you’ve done for us. After all,
without the two of you, I’d be in Ireland!”

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Susan countered. “We both know that Alexander would have
followed you to the ends of the earth if he had to.”

“Well, I shall always be grateful to you both that there was no need for him to do so.”

Mary entered the room. “It’s time Charlotte.”

*****

Xander took the reins from Peter and mounted Hannibal. The horse had been brushed until he
gleamed in the morning sunshine and practically thrummed with excitement, tossing his head
and raising his knees high in the air. A gentle hand along his neck quieted the horse,
reassuring him that his master was ready for the events ahead and calmness was the order of
the day. Samuel mounted next to him, settling into the saddle and they kicked their mounts
into motion.

Guests were already entering the church when they arrived. They dismounted and left their
horses with a waiting Ellis. Xander drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Any nerves he
had were exceeded by far by the excitement he felt that the moment had finally arrived when
he and Charlotte would finally be joined in marriage.

Samuel placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him before they entered the church. “I hope
you know how pleased I am for you, Xander. I know we’ve had our differences but I’ve only
ever wanted the best for you. I can see how happy Charlotte makes you and it’s well earned. I
don’t think I’ve ever seen two people so in love with one another and I’m certain the two of
you will be ridiculously ecstatic together.”

Xander glanced at his older brother, somewhat surprised by the sincerity he heard in his
words. It was rare indeed for Samuel to express himself with such candor. They did indeed
have their differences and perhaps it truly was time for him to examine his feelings regarding
their past history and finally come to terms with everything that had happened between them
all those years ago. After all, Sam had dropped everything in his life to come to his aid when
he’d asked him to and had stayed long past what was necessary in an effort to ensure that he
and Charlotte finally reunited. Today of all days, he could afford to be generous with his
brother.

“Thank you, Sam. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the past weeks. I know
you and Susan championed the match from the beginning and did all you could to help us
resolve our differences and I will happily give you credit for all of your efforts.” He clapped
his brother on the back. “I still can’t imagine what Charlotte sees in me but I will take every
advantage of her singular lapse of good sense and happily marry her before she changes her
mind.”

*****

The carriage stopped in front of the church as a few stragglers quickly moved to enter the
building, aware the service would begin imminently now that the bride had arrived. Tom
exited the carriage, handing down Susan, Leo and Augusta before offering his hand to
Charlotte.

“Thank you again for everything, Tom,” she settled her hand on his arm. “It means a great
deal to me.”

“I’m honored to do it, my dear,” he patted her hand as they walked towards the doors. “You
know that we all consider you part of our family.” His face took on a slightly pained
expression. “I would have been proud to call you my sister in reality if circumstances had
worked out differently.”

She gave him a wistful smile. “I know, Tom. You have all been so kind to me and I will
always be grateful for the day you first brought me to Sanditon. You changed my life for the
better, Tom. I would not be here today without you and Mary.”

“Thank you, Charlotte,” he returned her smile gratefully. “I know I once expressed less than
favorable opinions about Mr. Colbourne but I assure you that my impressions of the man
have indeed changed. He is an honorable gentleman of great integrity. I could not imagine a
better man for you, my dear. And I know Sidney would agree with me. He would have been
so happy to know you are loved and cared for by such a man.”
“Do you really think so?”

“I know so, my dear. You can rest assured that Sidney is looking down today from heaven
with nothing but love and approval, finally content in knowing that you are truly happy.”

*****

For the rest of his days, Xander would recall when he first saw Charlotte on their wedding
day. There would be countless other moments but this one would remain seared into his
memory like no other. She’d appeared at the end of the aisle on Tom Parker’s arm, looking
like the most beautiful vision he could have ever possibly imagined, her face lit from within
by a radiance that rivaled the sun. He would remember the music that played, the scent of the
flowers, the knowledge that they were surrounded by the friends and family that loved them.
But chief amongst them, he would remember how the sight of her nearly stopped his heart.

*****

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this
congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”

Little could she have imagined when she’d first met Alexander Colbourne that the stubborn,
opinionated widower who hid such pain behind his sardonic comments and biting humor
would come to be the man she loved most in the world. That he had changed himself so
completely and gone to such lengths to make her happy simply out of his absolute love for
her, had opened her heart to a love she could have never fathomed before she’d met him. He
had mended her broken heart without even knowing he was capable of such a thing and given
her all that she could ever ask for in a husband. Today, she wed her true partner, her soul
mate. The man who loved her most in all the world. She could want for nothing more in life,
for today, she became complete.

“Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the
holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness
and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep the only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?”

The warm amber depths of his eyes were filled with an unwavering love for her as he spoke
with a firm confidence that left no doubt as to the conviction of his words. “I will.”

*****

“Wilt thou have this man as thy wedded husband? Live together after God’s ordinance in the
holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, serve him, love, honor and keep him in
sickness and in health and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him so long as ye both
shall live?”

Her eyes met his, bright with tears of joy. “I will.”

He could not have stopped the smile that broke across his face if he’d tried.
Months ago, when Charlotte had stepped into his study for the first time, he would never have
thought that the beautiful, spirited woman who deigned to lecture him during a job interview
would completely upend his life. She had consumed his thoughts and given him the first
glimmer of hope that he could ever truly love someone again. She had recognized the man
she knew he could be when he could not even recognize himself. She was every dream of a
perfect life that he had ever had and he would dedicate his every breath to her every want
and need until his dying breath. He had never realized how empty his existence had been
until she’d healed his very soul, filling in the broken pieces. From this day forward, his life
would forevermore be hers.

*****

Xander’s hand trembled slightly as he slipped the ring onto her finger. “With this ring, I thee
wed.” Their eyes locked and her heart leapt in her chest. “With my body I thee worship, and
with all my worldly goods I thee endow.”

“Forasmuch as Alexander and Charlotte have consented together in holy wedlock,”

Through all of their disagreements…

“have given and pledged their troth either to other,”

Through all of the misunderstandings…

“by giving and receiving of a ring,”

Through separation and heartache…

“and by joining of hands,”

They had weathered the storm and been made stronger together.

“I pronounce that they be man and wife together.”

If ever there had been a kiss that spoke of two people more perfectly suited to one another, a
husband and wife bound forever as one, it was not known to any who witnessed the kiss they
shared that late autumn morning.

*****

Xander settled next to Charlotte and rapped on the roof of the carriage. With a look of
stunned disbelief, he turned to his wife. “Are we really married?”

Much of the ceremony and the immediate aftermath had passed in a blur. Somehow he had
managed to fulfill the remaining expectations of him while still holding Charlotte’s left hand
in his right, refusing to relinquish it for even the brief amount of time it would take for them
each to sign the registry. She’d tucked her hand, now bearing his ring, into the crook of his
arm as they’d left the church in a shower of rose petals. Now, they had a short amount of time
alone together before they must appear at their wedding breakfast.
She leaned against him. “I am fairly certain that is what just happened.” She extended her left
hand, studying the ring he had placed on her finger. “I feel very married,” she admitted. “And
very happy.” She looked up at him. “Do you not feel married?”

He placed his arm around her shoulders. “I do. I’m just not certain that it feels entirely real.
Perhaps I am dreaming and you are a figment of my imagination.”

Charlotte slipped her fingers around the nape of his neck, pulling him towards her for a kiss
that quickly deepened, stirring his desires and leaving his heart pounding in his chest.

“Did that feel real?” she murmured against his lips.

“It felt very real.” He swallowed hard, suppressing a groan. The wedding breakfast was going
to feel interminable. He reached for her again. “I don’t suppose we could forgo the breakfast
entirely?”

Her lips curved against his. “Soon enough, my love. Soon enough.”

*****

Charlotte was positive that she’d never smiled so much in her entire life. So much, that her
cheeks were beginning to ache by the time they arrived at the assembly rooms for the
wedding breakfast Tom and Mary had insisted on hosting and Arthur had insisted on
planning for them.

Passersby waved and called out their well wishes as they alighted from the carriage and
climbed the stairs, many of the faces well known to her. Even Xander could not seem to
contain the look of elation on his face as they entered the room where their guests were
gathered to celebrate their marriage. Her arm slipped from his but only so she could make her
way around the room to greet those gathered.

The Charlotte of two summers ago could not have dreamed the part that each of them would
play in bringing her to this moment. Tom and Mary, who had welcomed her into their home
and family. Lady Denham, who would never know just how much her freely voiced opinions
had reinforced Charlotte’s dedication that she would live life to no one else’s standards but
her own. Samuel and Susan who had schemed to bring her and Xander together. Her dear
friends, Georgiana and Arthur, who listened when she needed a sympathetic ear and so easily
made her laugh. Mrs Wheatley with her quiet support and sage advice. Leo and Augusta, who
had wished for her to be mother and aunt alike, but above all, hoped that Xander would find
happiness again.

Her life had been irrevocably changed by the people of Sanditon and she could not thank
them enough. She had arrived as a young, naive girl seeking to experience life beyond
Willingden, finding friendship and love and experiencing loss and heartache. She had thought
that she needed to see the world, only to discover that everything she could ever want was in
Sanditon all along.

*****
“She’s a rather stubborn and strongly opinionated young woman.”

Xander pulled his attention away from watching Charlotte speaking to Leo across the room to
find Lady Denham standing next him.

“I’m well aware, my lady,” he forced a smile, reminding himself that it did no good to allow
the older woman to get under his skin. “And I wouldn’t wish for her to be anyone other than
who she is.”

“Your father would not have approved,” she pointed out.

He clenched his jaw and looked away. He did not want to think of his father today of all days.
“No, he would not have.”

“Your mother, however, would have approved of your choice a great deal,” she added without
a trace of her usual condescension. “I believe she would have found your wife to be very
similar in nature to herself. As I recall, she was always rather passionate and free with her
own opinions as well.”

His eyes darted back to her, surprised at the older woman’s gentle concession. “I don’t have
many memories of her,” he admitted. “It’s nice to hear from someone who knew her that she
would have given us her blessing. Thank you.”

“Yes, well, that does not mean you will have an easy time of it,” she said quickly, recovering
her usual attitude. “She will keep you on your toes,” she cautioned.

A wide grin broke across his face. “I certainly hope so, my lady.”

He excused himself, intent on making his way across the room to his bride. It seemed
everyone in the room wished to speak to her, keeping her well occupied and far from his side.
Her occasional glances in his direction were helplessly apologetic and he’d had to repeatedly
remind himself that there would be time enough for them to be alone once the breakfast was
over. He stopped mid-stride as Charlotte’s attention was taken by Reverend Hankins and his
sister. He was reluctant to be drawn into conversation with the rather verbose man after
already listening to his lengthy sermon that morning.

“Alexander,” Susan motioned towards Charlotte. “You seem to be having a rather difficult
time corralling your wife.”

“She is proving to be rather elusive,” he agreed.

His sister in law nodded sympathetically. “She is the best of women and she loves you with
all her heart. I know you’ll do anything to keep her happy.”

“I’d give her the very heavens if she asked.”

“But she never would,” Susan smiled knowingly.

“No,” he agreed. “Not Charlotte.”

They stood together in companionable silence, Xander grateful that Susan never seemed
bothered if he wasn’t being particularly conversational. She was a welcome change from his
more ebullient brother.

“Mr. Colbourne, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mrs. Molyneux laughed as she joined them. “It does seem
strange that there are suddenly two new Mrs. Colbournes.”

Xander wholeheartedly agreed. “I admit, I never thought my brother would marry.”

“And what of your own marriage?” Mrs. Molyneux asked. “Did you think the same?”

“I never imagined that I would be here today. I fully expected to live the rest of my life
alone.”

“I don’t suppose I need to tell you how special Charlotte is, do I?” There was a hint of
warning to her tone.

“No, Mrs. Molyneux, you do not.” His gaze found Charlotte once more. “I’m all too aware of
the gift I’ve been given.”

For his wife was truly a gift, and not just to him. Or even to Leo and Augusta. Watching
Charlotte as she had moved around the room and greeted their guests, he’d found himself
enthralled by the sight of her, surrounded by so many who loved her. For her very presence
was enough to make everyone around her smile. Whether they realized it or not, she had
changed the lives of all those she encountered for the better. He could only assume they had
not been as unreasonably stubborn about realizing it as he had been.

*****

Charlotte scanned the room, her eyes seeking the handsome figure of her husband. They had
been separated by well-wishers after the toast, but his eyes had followed her around the room,
a comforting constant each time she’d sought him out to reassure him that she would return
to him as soon as she politely could.

Making her way to Samuel, Susan and Augusta, she gave a sigh of relief. “Have you seen
Xander? I cannot seem to find him.”

Susan scanned the room and shook her head. “I’m afraid I haven’t seen him for quite a while
but the breakfast will be served shortly so we should probably look for him.”

“You know my brother, Charlotte, he’s probably hiding in a corner somewhere. He’d be up a
tree by now if there was one close by.”

Augusta laughed. “He actually did hide in the corner once in Bath,” she informed them.
“Behind a potted palm. He really does not enjoy being the object of attention.”

Of course, Charlotte thought. Without her at his side, Xander had most likely excused himself
to seek some quiet place for a few minutes. Despite all of the changes he’d gone through in
the past few months, he was, at heart, still the same man who preferred the company of a
horse to that of most humans. “I think I know where he is. Do not trouble yourself with
looking.”

Slipping out of the room, she glanced around the spacious hall. It was still strange to see the
rooms so bare after the recent extravagances of Georgiana’s parties. Without knowing why
she felt so sure of where she’d locate him, she moved confidently towards the stairs. As
expected, she found her new husband at the top of the gallery, overlooking the room, in the
exact spot where she’d taken refuge after they’d danced so many months ago, her heart
pounding with the sudden realization that she was falling in love with Alexander Colbourne.

He looked up sheepishly as she approached. “I see you found me.”

She slid her arm around him even as he did the same. “Hiding from me already, Husband?”

His lips twitched as he pulled her close. “My apologies, my love. I merely meant to step
away for a few minutes. I had every intention of returning before anyone missed me.”

“I missed you as soon as you left my side.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, taking a long moment to breathe her in. “You are
much too good for me, Charlotte. I do not deserve you.”

“I’m afraid it is far too late for you to change your mind now, sir,” she teased. “We are
already married, whether you deserve me or not.”

“I will never change my mind about marrying you.” He turned, his hands at her waist as his
lips brushed against her cheek. “All morning I’ve been reminded of just how privileged I am
to have you as my wife.” He placed a finger on her lips when she opened her mouth to speak.
“It’s not as though I didn’t know it already, and I will spend every day of my life being
thankful for you. But the number of people who hold you in the highest esteem in this town
has shown me just how much of an impact you’ve had on everyone’s life, not just mine. You
astound me, Charlotte.”

She pushed away from him just enough that she could look him in the eye. “Do you not think
that I don’t know how lucky I am to have you as my husband?” He looked at her skeptically.
“Xander, you showed me how to love again, after I had told myself I would never open my
heart to another. You brought Samuel back to Sanditon to help Georgiana simply because
she’s my friend. Without your help, the people of Old Towne would continue to live in unsafe
and unhealthy conditions. You are building a school for the children of Sanditon because I
suggested it one time. You wholeheartedly believe that I can do anything I might ever
entertain doing with a confidence that inspires me more than you could ever know. And you
have loved me more than anyone else in the world could ever possibly love anyone. Do not
tell me that I am not lucky to marry such a man.”

He pulled her against his chest. “Oh, my darling Charlotte, you have filled places within me I
did not even know were empty.” He bent his head for a kiss, his lips fitting perfectly against
hers.
 She remained still, eyes closed and lips raised even after he’d pulled away. A huff of laughter
escaped him as he obliged her with another kiss. Slipping her right hand into his, she placed
her left upon his shoulder, giving in to her sudden impulse. “Dance with me.”

He raised one brow, even as his hand came to rest on her back. “What song are we dancing
to? There’s no music.”

“Don’t worry, I’m confident you know the steps to this one.” She began to hum the familiar
notes. He picked up the steps as though the orchestra was playing downstairs. “You dance
remarkably well for a man who claims he does not dance, Mr. Colbourne.”

“Only with you, my love,” he chuckled, as he moved smoothly, guiding her as though they
had danced a hundred times, rather than the few times they had. “I wonder, have you given
any more consideration to your position?”

“A great deal,” she laughed as they circled, each with a hand on the shoulder of the other. “I
do believe you’ve persuaded me to stay.”

Their hands pressed together, palm to palm. “I’m very pleased to hear it.”

The heated look in his eyes and the way he held her closer than any man ever had made the
dance far more intimate than any she’d ever shared. With every dance they’d ever crossed
paths in before, she’d fought against her emotions, trying to tell herself that she could not
possibly love this man. The look she’d seen in his eyes the night they’d first danced was
nothing compared to the love she saw in his eyes now, the heated depths igniting an ache in
her that she’d never known before. They were bound together with a tether she would never,
in a million years, wish to break.

He slid his arms around her waist as the silent song came to an end and, in the span of a
heartbeat, he captured her lips with his. The fervency of his kiss nearly overwhelmed her.
Clutching his shoulders, she rose on the tips of her toes to meet him, taking the hunger and
passion that poured out of him and giving everything she had in return. She nearly stumbled
when their lips parted, only his strong arms wrapped tightly around her keeping her from
falling.

“Charlotte?” he murmured breathlessly against her cheek.

The need in his voice made her shiver. “Xander?”

“I think everyone would understand if we left now, don’t you?”

Chapter End Notes

Whew, this one became ridiculously long and was tough to get through. I really tried to
come at it from a different perspective than others have done. For clarity, the separation
of Xander and Charlotte at the breakfast when he speaks with Lady D, Susan and
Georgiana is after the toast, not when they first arrive.

Thanks for being patient through the holidays. Wishing you all a wonderful 2024!
 Husband & Wife
Chapter Summary

Our newlyweds finally enjoy some alone time together.

Chapter Notes

Yep, the rating just went from T to M. This chapter definitely isn’t explicit and a lot is
just hinted at but if it’s not your thing because you prefer a more tame read, you might
want to skip this chapter. It’s mostly just fluff anyway.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Husband & Wife

When the dark green carriage rolled to a stop, it took a moment for Charlotte to realize that
they were not at the house at all but had instead continued past the stables and turned down a
lesser used drive into an area of the estate that she wasn’t familiar with. Looking curiously
out the window, she saw that they had stopped in front of a stone cottage, smoke rising from
the chimney. Xander opened the carriage door and climbed out before turning and holding
out his hand for her.

“Where are we?” she asked with no small amount of confusion as she took his hand and
stepped down from the carriage. The sound of running water told her that they were near the
stream that flowed through the estate but much farther upstream than she had ever ventured
with Leo.

Xander waved the coachmen on before turning back to her. “This was the steward’s cottage
but it’s been unoccupied for the last dozen or so years. The last steward left after my father
failed to pay his wages and I could ill afford to hire one when I first took over the estate. I’ve
done without one since.”

She eyed him questioningly, still confused. This was not at all what she’d expected on her
wedding day. “But why are we here?”

He took her hand and led her towards the door, pulling a key from his pocket. “Last week,
when you spoke of the first days of your parents’ marriage, I could tell how much you
desired to have something similar. A place where it could be just the two of us for a time,
with no servants, aggravating brothers, eavesdropping daughters or nieces that are prone to
freely sharing their strong opinions.”
Opening the door, he motioned for her to enter, stepping into a small but comfortable parlor.
A fire crackled cheerfully, warming the room. She moved into the room and ran her hand
along the back of the settee. “We’re going to stay here?”

He looked around the room. “Only if you wish to,” he clarified. “The house is in good
condition and I had it cleaned from top to bottom and stocked with supplies. Not all of the
rooms are furnished but we have everything we need to be comfortable and we won’t be
disturbed. But we can also return to the house if you’d prefer and the servants will do their
best to leave us alone.” He took her hand in his. “Come, there’s more to see before you
decide.”

They walked through the few rooms that made up the first floor. The rooms were well
furnished, clean and the shutters had all been opened, allowing sunlight to brighten the
rooms. Besides the parlor, there was an empty room that could be used as another sitting
room or study, a dining room with table and chairs ready for a meal to be eaten and a cozy
kitchen that looked out over the small back garden.

They found the worktable in the kitchen piled with food, just waiting for them to seek
sustenance. A bowl of apples, eggs, a wheel of cheese, and a loaf of bread sat alongside
crocks of tea, jam and honey. Stacked tins and brown paper packages held more items to be
discovered and the shelves had been stacked with dishes, pans and a box of candles waiting
to be lit.

Xander immediately plucked an apple from the large bowl on the table, biting into it as he
looked through the accumulated foodstuffs to see what had been left out for them. His face lit
up with that saucy smile she loved so much when he opened a tin to discover a batch of Mrs.
Wheatley’s shortbread, earning him a laugh as he clutched it to his chest and hummed with
happiness.

Charlotte reached for the tented piece of paper sitting upon the table.

Mrs. Colbourne,

It is my great pleasure to officially welcome you to Heyrick Park. It has long been a great
house but you have returned it to being a happy home.

I hope you find everything you might want or need for the coming days. Prepared meals will
be delivered each day for luncheon and dinner. The water pails and wood boxes have been
filled, stove lit and fires have been laid. I have no doubt that you will find everything you
might want or need for the coming days but should you require anything else, simply leave a
note and everything will be provided.

With sincerest congratulations,

Florence Wheatley

Tears filled her eyes as she pressed her fingers to her lips. How lucky she was.

“Charlotte? What’s wrong?” Xander’s face filled with concern.

She shook her head, unable to speak.

He pulled her into his arms, tucking her beneath his chin as she snuffled and swiped at her
tears. “I can’t very well have you crying on our wedding day. I wanted to make you happy,
not make you cry.”

“They are happy tears, my love. Happy tears.” She hugged him tightly. “I cannot believe that
you did all of this for me.”

“I did this for us,” he corrected. “Having time with you all to myself is all I could ever wish
for.” He cupped her face with his hand, his thumb stroking her cheek. “I cannot give you
more than a handful of days, my love, for we are due in London in a week’s time but I would
do whatever is in my power to make you happy.”

“All I need to be happy is to have you beside me.”

He offered her his hand. “Shall we go upstairs?”

*****

Xander’s eyes took in the bedroom as he unbuttoned his coat and shrugged it from his
shoulders. The room would certainly be comfortable for their stay, the warmth of the space
not just from the fire. The simple furnishings, warm wooden beams and deep green drapes
embroidered with leaves on the windows and bed evoked feelings of being outdoors, walking
beneath a canopy of trees. He knew in an instant that he would be quite content to remain
indefinitely…so long as Charlotte was with him, of course.

“It’s really quite lovely,” the lady in question said, echoing his own thoughts.

“Hmm, I wholeheartedly agree.” Taking her hand, he sat down on the single chair that sat
before the fire and pulled her onto his lap, anxious to once again have her in his arms. She
nestled against him and for a moment they simply enjoyed the serenity of being alone
together as husband and wife.

“I’ve never been so happy,” she said quietly, breaking the silence. She cupped his cheeks and
pressed her lips to his.

Raising his hand, he ran the back of his fingers down her neck and over her collarbone, his
thumb brushing against the pulse that fluttered at the base of her throat. “I cannot fully
express to you how utterly and completely I adore you.”

The next few minutes were spent in silence, their lips occupied until they were each left
breathless. With foreheads pressed together, they paused to draw air into their lungs.
Charlotte’s fingers slipped beneath the ends of his cravat, slowly pulling the fabric out from
his waistcoat before she tugged on the knot, freeing him from the stricture of the hated
garment. Within seconds, she’d unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, revealing his
throat to her. Delighted with herself, she buried her face against his neck, inhaling him and
driving him mad with kisses as he chuckled appreciatively.
With each caress and each kiss, his desire for her grew. And along with his desire, anxiety
began to set in. They had quickly reached the level of intimacy that they were all too familiar
with and were now on the cusp of taking their affections further. More than anything, he did
not wish to presume too much and push Charlotte farther or faster than she was comfortable
with. He was willing to wait as long as she needed, even if it drove him to the very brink.

His lips continued to pay tender homage to her as his hand slid down her leg. With a brief
pause in his kisses, he removed her shoes, dropping them to the floor. She grew still as he
slipped his hand under her dress, his fingers slowly grazing up her calf to her thigh before
deftly untying the ribbon that held her stocking in place and slipping it down her leg. By the
time her other stocking had been removed his heart was racing and from the fluttering of her
pulse against his lips and rapid breathing, he could tell that she too had felt the effects of his
touch.

“May I undress you?” he whispered softly, his heart frozen in desperate anticipation.

With eyes closed, she captured her bottom lip between her teeth before nodding. Without a
word, she stood and began removing the delicate white silk flowers that were pinned in her
hair, laying them on the small table next to the chair. The earrings and necklace he’d sent to
her that morning followed. Hastily removing his boots and stockings, he rose from the chair,
kissing her gently once more. With a tentative smile, Charlotte turned her back to him, giving
herself freely to him in that moment.

She shivered as he pushed aside her hair, his fingers brushing against her skin. He pressed a
kiss to the curve of her neck and with trembling fingers, reached for the impossibly small
clasps that ran down her back, undoing them slowly one by one. Running his fingers beneath
the fabric, the dress slipped off her shoulders, falling to the floor with a whisper.

Having freed her of her dress, he moved quickly to relieve her of her stays, a horrible
garment if he’d ever seen one. Frustration struck as he pulled impatiently at the laces. “What
manner of wretched human designed this contraption?” he muttered, eliciting a surprised
giggle from his bride and breaking the tension that lay thick in the air.

“The things we women do in an effort to increase our beauty.”

“If you were any more beautiful, I would be struck senseless each time I saw you,” he
insisted firmly as the laces finally gave way, her stays falling to the floor. “Aha!” he
exclaimed proudly. “I did it.”

*****

Charlotte laughed at Xander’s delighted exclamation and felt her anxiety ease somewhat.
Wearing only her chemise, she turned to look at him, knowing she could not hide the disquiet
she felt from the one person who knew her every expression.

He slipped his hand around the back of her neck, his thumb stroking her cheek. “Are you
nervous?”
“A little,” she admitted shyly. “It is not that I do not wish for us to be together,” she added
quickly, “and I know you will not hurt me, but I do not want to disappoint you.”

“Oh, my darling Charlotte,” he kissed her forehead, “you could never disappoint me.”

A fleeting look of concern and… fear?…on his face washed any remaining apprehensions
she had away. She had never considered that he might be anxious as well. After all, he had
been married before… to a woman who had betrayed him with another man. The realization
of how he must be feeling was startling. Was it possible that he was afraid that he would
disappoint her? The thought sent a surge of fierce resolve through her.

Flush with sudden determination, she reached for the buttons on his waistcoat, pushing it off
his shoulders. Sensing a shift in her, his own fingers made quick work of the remaining
buttons on his shirt with renewed fervency before hastily reaching over his shoulders and
pulling the garment over his head. It slipped from his hands, falling onto the growing pile of
clothing at their feet and causing her breath to hitch at the sight of him.

Pressing her hands against his chest, long minutes were spent locked in a heated embrace, his
skin warm beneath her palms. She was barely aware of the hand he moved from her waist
until she felt his thumb stroking the underside of her breast, drawing a gasp from her lips.

With heads pressed together, he sought her approval. “Do you wish to stop?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I love you, Xander.”

“And I love you.”

With tentative fingers, he tugged on the ribbon that held her chemise from slipping off her
shoulders. Undone, the thin fabric joined the remainder of their clothing, baring her to him.
Before she could even consider attempting to cover herself from his heated gaze, he swept
her into his arms and carried her to the bed, lying her gently down amongst the pillows. She
had little time to think as the remainder of his own clothing was shed and satisfied sighs
escaped them as skin touched skin from head to toe for the first time.

What followed next nearly overpowered them both as hands stroked bare skin and mouths
kissed places no kisses had ever been pressed before. She hadn’t realized that fingers and lips
could draw out such feelings of indulgent bliss. At first tentative and shy, she slowly gave in
to her own curiosity and found herself exceedingly pleased when he responded to her own
touches with the same soft noises she could not stop from escaping her lips. And then he was
touching her in the most intimate of places and she was gasping at the intensity of the sudden
pleasure she felt. With each passing moment, it grew, threatening to overwhelm her as she
seemed to move ever closer to an edge of something she could not define. Uncertain as to
what awaited her when she fell, she clung desperately to the last vestiges of her control.

“I have you, my love,” her husband murmured into her ear. “Let go.”

His soft words of reassurance lifted her, sending her tumbling into a roiling sea of stars that
burst behind her eyes and caused her to tremble with a sudden release of pleasure, the likes of
which she could never have fathomed. He moved over her as the tremors began to ebb,
kissing her and whispering of his love softly into her ear. There was a brief stinging moment
of sharpness but her body could not seem to be bothered with truly acknowledging anything
other than the lingering bliss that had left her limbs limp.

“Charlotte,” he whispered, an unspoken question in his voice.

Opening her eyes, she was transfixed by the depth of the desire she saw in his face. Cupping
his cheeks between her hands, she pulled him into her for a kiss, reassuring him that all was
well. Slowly, he began to move, the sensation strange at first but then surprisingly familiar as
the pleasure he’d already shown her began to build again. Some instinct from within set her
in motion, their bodies moving together in concert. She was little more prepared for the
waves as they moved to overtake her a second time but this time, she did not fall alone. Safe
in her husband's arms, her voice mingled with his as he followed her over the precipice.

*****

Xander rolled over onto his side to look at her, anxious to ensure she was quite well. “Are
you alright? I did not hurt you, did I?”

She looked at him, her expression rather euphoric. “I am perfect, Xander. There really aren’t
sufficient words to explain it to someone. I know now that it was not possible for me to fully
comprehend what all the fuss was about until I experienced it for myself.”

He laughed, his relief bubbling over. Still, he needed to clarify in order to set his mind at
ease. Kissing her shoulder, he raised himself onto one elbow and slipped his other arm
around her waist. “And you…took pleasure in it?”

Her cheeks flushed. “Very much. More than I expected if I’m being honest. Our mother told
Alison and I that we should not expect to find the experience enjoyable at first but it was.”
Her forehead furrowed with concern. “Could you not tell?”

“I did not want to assume anything but I’d hoped that you found it as pleasurable as I did.”

She met his eye with a shy smile. “While I do not have any prior experience for comparison,
I cannot imagine that there could be much room for improvement.”

A surprising amount of smugness began to replace his relief and his hand began to slowly
roam over her skin once more. “I’m curious, what else did your mother tell you?”

“She assured us that the relations between a husband and wife only improve with time and
practice.”

He grinned, pulling her closer. “Well then, we should listen to your mother and practice.”

*****

Despite the warm body that shared the bed with her, the early morning chill pulled Charlotte
from sleep. Opening her eyes, she saw that her right arm lay possessively across Xander’s
bare chest. Although the slow, rhythmic sound of his breathing indicated that he was fast
asleep, her face flushed as she became all too aware that neither of them were wearing a
stitch of clothing.

Her thoughts slipped back to the day and night before and she buried her burning face into
the small space between her husband’s shoulder and the pillow. Xander had awakened her
body to feelings she had never known were possible and the mere recollection of the passion
they had shared sent a tingling ache inside her that only increased the heat she felt in her
cheeks.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she concentrated on the sound of Xander’s breathing and the feeling
of his heart beating beneath her hand until she felt more in control of her own body, the cold
temperature of the room helping to distract her. Unable to bear the chill any longer, she
finally slipped silently from the bed, determined to stoke the fire. Xander stirred and,
remembering that her customary dressing gown was not lying in wait for her, she hastily
grabbed his discarded shirt from the floor to cover herself. Seeing that he had settled back
into sleep, she padded over to the fireplace and crouched down to begin the task of bringing
the fire back to life.

She was just about to rise when a log slipped and cracked, sending sparks into the air.
Startled, she lost her balance and landed on her backside with a grunt, wincing as her tailbone
struck the hard wood floor. An exclamation from the bed behind her made her jump again,
eliciting a cry of surprise from her lips. She turned to find Xander sitting upright, a wild and
confused look on his face. In the dim light of the room, his eyes found her where she lay on
the floor and he flopped back onto the bed with a loud exhalation of air. Scrambling to her
feet, she hurried over to the bed to find him staring up at the canopy above him, the blankets
now puddled around his waist.

“I didn’t know where I was for a moment,” he said. “I couldn’t recall why I was in a strange
bed.” He turned to look at her and his eyebrows raised in question. “Why are you wearing my
shirt?”

She tugged at the neck of his open shirt, pulling the collar up where it had slipped down her
shoulder. “I was cold so I got up to stoke the fire,” she explained, feeling shy despite the
hours they’d spent together the day and night before.

He rolled to his side and raised the blankets. “Come back to bed then. It’s far too early to get
up.”

She hesitated for a moment before removing his shirt and sliding back beneath the covers. He
tugged her gently back against his chest, his arm warm and heavy across her middle. She had
no doubt he sensed her hesitation and felt quite silly about it. After all, he had seen…and
touched…her entire body only hours ago.

“You don’t need to hide from me.”

She was thankful her face was turned so he couldn’t see how embarrassed she was. “I know.
It is just so…”

“New?”
She nodded. “Yes.”

“Did I tell you that my heart nearly stopped at the sight of you walking down the aisle
yesterday?” he asked softly, his breath tickling the back of her neck.

“It did?” Her own heart melted a little at his confession.

He kissed the back of her shoulder. “For a moment, I couldn’t breathe, you were so
beautiful.” She rolled over to face him, warmed by the honesty in his eyes. “You will always
be the most beautiful woman in my eyes, Charlotte.”

*****

Eventually, their empty stomachs could no longer be ignored and recollection of the well-
stocked kitchen lured them from their bed. Despite his half-hearted protests, Charlotte
insisted that they put on some amount of clothing, maintaining that a kitchen demanded more
appropriate attire than dressing gowns.

Finally conceding, Xander pulled a pair of pants and clean shirt from the wardrobe provided
by Mrs. Wheatley, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows and leaving the top few buttons
undone. Barefoot, with tousled hair and stubbled jaw, he suspected he resembled a pirate that
had been stranded on a deserted island like those from the pages of one of Leo’s books.

Turning from the wardrobe, his mouth went dry at the sight of Charlotte standing before him
wearing a simple cotton dress. The memory of her in that same dress slammed into him with
a ferocity that took his breath away. For months he’d dreamt of her, the same moments over
and over again. But one precious memory had taken precedent over all others and the reality
of seeing her standing before him nearly knocked him off his feet.

Running her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame her waves, Charlotte’s expression
became one of confusion as he continued to stare at her. “What is it?”

He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. “Your dress.”

She looked down at the white cotton dress with its simple striped pattern. “What’s wrong
with it? You’ve seen this dress before. I wore it a dozen times or more when I was working as
a governess. I know it’s far too plain to wear as your wife, but I kept it for when I’m out on
the grounds with Leo. Mrs. Wheatley must have thought it was appropriate for our time here,
and rightly so. I hardly need anything nicer for just the two of us.”

He nodded slowly, his mind struggling to concentrate. “I’ve dreamt of you in that dress,” he
said, his voice strained.

“This dress?” She blushed prettily and plucked disbelievingly at her skirts. “But you’ve seen
me in far fancier gowns.”

He stepped closer, his hands settling on her waist. “And you’re beautiful in those gowns. But
this dress is you , the woman who tames horses and trawls for snails and knows Greek
mythology. The woman I want by my side for the rest of my life. I first knew I loved you in
this dress.”

He could see her thinking back over the time she’d spent at Heyrick Park and a slow smile
spread across her face as she recollected the moment in question. “Cornflowers.”

He pressed a kiss to her lips. “Centurea.”

His hands fisted in the fabric of her dress as he pushed her backwards towards the bed. His
mind filled with images of her laid out upon a blanket strewn with cornflowers beneath the
tree, sunlight filtering through the leaves and painting her skin as she opened her arms to him.

Her legs met the end of the bed and she broke her lips from his, clinging to his shoulders so
she wouldn’t fall backwards. “Xander.” His mouth moved along her jaw. “Xander, food.”

He groaned into the curve of her neck, releasing her with a slump of his shoulders. He leaned
against her for a long moment, struggling to regain control. His stomach grumbled loudly and
a delighted laugh filled his ear. “Food,” he agreed grudgingly.

*****

A cold rain, warm fire and delicious stew courtesy of Mrs. Wheatley left them feeling
decidedly lazy and content to merely sit together in the parlor for a time, both acknowledging
that they could not spend their entire honeymoon in bed. With pen and paper, they’d managed
to fabricate a make-shift chess board and spent a good portion of the afternoon cheerfully
arguing over strategy before each conceded to a draw.

Setting aside their competitiveness, they made a nest of blankets and cushions on the parlor
floor in front of the fire with a platter of cheese, bread and fruit close at hand. Charlotte lay
with her feet close to the fire, her head on Xander’s lap as he leaned against the settee. His
left hand rested just beneath her collar bone, his thumb lightly stroking the soft skin at the
base of her throat. She was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on the book in
her hands as his fingers strayed to the edge of the square neckline of her dress, tracing the
fabric along the swell of her breasts.

Closing the book, she raised her chin and craned her neck to look at him. “Did you really
dream of me in this dress?”

“Yes,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly. “I dreamt of you far sooner than I ought to have
and with much too great a frequency.”

She rolled onto her stomach, her feet swinging in the air. “How soon?”

Denied from stroking her skin, he tugged gently at a lock of her hair. “I don’t know if I
should admit to such a thing. You’ll think me a lecherous old man and a wholly inappropriate
employer.”

She gave a snort of disbelief. “Not that old.” His expression was unamused. She sat up and
he pulled her legs across his lap, his hand slipping beneath her skirts but stopping at her
knees. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

“You invaded my thoughts from the day we met,” he admitted, staring into the fire. “At all
times of the day and night. I even tried to convince myself that I shouldn’t have hired you
before you even started. I think that is partially why I shouted at you for playing the spinet
that day. I was trying to find a reason to dismiss you but I already couldn’t bear the thought
of not seeing you again after just a week.”

“Is that why you asked me if I wished to leave instead of dismissing me even though I’d
lectured you so inappropriately?”

He nodded. “If you had said yes, then it was your decision, not mine.”

She pressed her hand to his cheek, turning him to look at her. “Would you have really missed
me so soon after we met?”

“Immeasurably.” His fingers tangled into her hair as he kissed her. “I did not know I would
grow to love you or what would happen between us, if anything could indeed even happen.
But I could not let you go, my love, even then. I’ve lived like a monk for nearly a decade.
Meeting you…it was as though I was a starving man seated before a feast and told I could not
eat. Yet walking away was not an option. I may have starved but at least I had a seat at the
table.”

Somewhat overwhelmed by his admission, she began to rain kisses upon his face until he
laughed and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She sighed
contentedly. “Do you suppose this is how it is with all married couples?” she asked. “The
ones who marry for love at least?”

“How do you mean?”

“This need to be near each other. The desire for you to touch me and wanting to touch you in
return. How are we to get anything done during the day if we feel like this all the time? Mrs.
Wheatley will lock us in separate rooms.”

“I suppose we will either have to learn to resist or find several times a day when we can be
alone. We may have to employ some rather elaborate schemes to avoid being discovered. By
Leo in particular.”

“How intriguing you make it all sound, Mr. Colbourne.”

“Exhausting is likely to be more accurate,” he countered. “But I have a feeling it will be

worth the effort.”

*****

Xander learned a great deal about his wife as the days passed in languid idleness. Charlotte’s
insistence that they spend at least a few hours out of bed a day led to hours of conversation
and an abundance of observations that only those living in close quarters with each other
could make. And while some of his observations amused or enlightened him on previously
unknown aspects of his wife’s character, he found others quite confounding.

She had an odd fascination with his hair. She could spend hours idly running her fingers
through it, her disappointment clearly evident if he pulled away.

She seemed unable to wait for her tea to sufficiently cool before sipping it, willing to risk
burning her tongue with each cup. She could toast a piece of bread to perfection but
expressed a level of frustration that confused him when tasked with making breakfast for two
rather than a dozen.

Somehow, despite a roaring fire and pile of blankets, her feet were always cold when she
pressed them against his own. And she had an uncanny ability to know when he needed her
touch to settle and reassure him that was not a dream after all.

She was a keen listener, asking ever-more detailed questions, her curiosity peaked. He would
always be grateful that his inheritance from his mother’s family kept his ability to receive a
top rate education secure, despite his father’s increasing debts. And while French, Latin,
history and Greek mythology were of no use to a gentleman farmer trying to bring his estate
back from the brink of ruin, his time spent in the world of academia had been some of the
best days of his life and he happily shared the stories he had with his wife. Her eagerness to
learn more about the world he’d known as a student was only dampened by her
disappointment that she had never been able to experience a similar access to knowledge. His
own frustration that such an intelligent mind as hers had not been allowed the same benefits
of education only grew as he watched how wistful she looked when he described the lectures
he’d attended and books he’d read and he silently vowed to purchase her whatever books she
wished in the future.

Naturally, her thirst to learn more about him did not simply lie in learning about his school
boy days. She took a great deal of interest in learning the history of the estate and the work
that he’d done over the previous decade to return it to the days of being held in high regard
by the surrounding community. Although she had little understanding of a working dairy
farm, her knowledge of crop farming was admirable. She answered his own questions about
her family farm with confidence and made it clear with every question and comment that she
would not be a wife who took no interest in her husband’s work and their family’s means of
earning a living.

He could honestly say that he had never experienced true companionship in his life before
marrying Charlotte. He’d had a few close friends in school that he supposed he could claim a
degree of closeness to, but he’d never confided his deepest secrets or thoughts to them. The
fear of their judgment was far too much of a deterrent for him to risk losing the few friends
he had should they learn the truth of his father’s character and their growing financial
troubles. Only his childhood relationship with Samuel and his absolute trust in Mrs.
Wheatley came anywhere close, but even they could not fully rival the way he felt about his
wife.

And while he trusted Charlotte implicitly and was slowly opening up about his past, he
couldn’t yet bring himself to give her the answers to the questions she most wanted to hear.
He knew he could not keep the darkest moments from his past hidden from her for much
longer but he simply couldn’t bring himself to open the lids on those boxes quite yet.

*****

If asked, Charlotte would have said it was remarkable what one could learn about a man
who’d locked himself away for the past nine years if you were left alone together for days.

His hair was always so delightfully mussed when he woke, that it begged to be swept through
her fingers. Although he seemed at a loss as to why she enjoyed touching it so much, he
patiently allowed her to run her fingers through it for significant amounts of time and she was
fairly confident that he was beginning to enjoy it.

He was never cold. Even in the early hours of the morning, long after the fire had dwindled,
he was prone to shoving the blankets aside and sleeping with nothing covering him from the
waist up and his bare feet sticking out. He hissed each time she pressed her icy toes against
his legs but never complained or pulled away and was content to let her snuggle against him
for the warmth he exuded even if it meant his arm would be trapped beneath her for hours.

He could lose himself into his thoughts for an interminable amount of time, content to be
silent and still as his brain worked through some idea or problem. And, as improbable as it
sounded, she could tell when he was smiling even when her eyes were closed.

Whether while sharing a meal, lying together in bed, or when she persuaded him to bundle up
and briefly leave the cottage for a walk outdoors, they spoke for hours over a variety of
subjects. Their shared love of reading led to long discussions about favorite books and
authors. Pressed for more information, he was able to recall with great detail the plays,
museums and artworks he’d seen during university days and trips to London. He told her
what little he could recall of his mother and of adventures he’d shared with Samuel as a
young child and she, in turn, regaled him with stories of growing up in Willingden.

She found herself profoundly impressed with his efforts to return Heyrick Park to a place of
good standing. Her well-aimed questions revealed just how dire the situation had been when
he’d inherited. Nearly all of the tenants had left and the home farm was barely functioning
when he’d assumed management of the estate. Her pride in her husband’s hard work to
restore the estate grew exponentially with each new piece of information he revealed and she
could honestly say that her admiration for husband now held equal footing with her father.

Still, there were two intertwined subjects when it came to the history of Heyrick Park where
he remained stubbornly elusive. Any attempt to voluntarily glean more information into how
he came to inherit instead of Samuel and their subsequent falling out were brushed aside as
he changed the subject with a degree of skill she would have considered notable under any
other circumstances. And if his refusal to discuss his disagreement with his brother was met
with silence, the immediate hardening of his eyes at the barest mention of their father was all
the indication she needed to know that that wall would be her greatest obstacle.

From the moment they’d first met, she’d been intrigued by the enigmatic man and frustrated
by his reticence to share his past with her. Now that they were married and finally spending
time alone, the walls he had built to protect himself after being so badly hurt were slowly
coming down. His revelation of Leo’s parentage had chipped away the first layer but there
were many more behind it. The dark memories of his past extended well beyond Lucy’s
betrayal and it was painfully clear that sharing those memories with her would not come easy
for him.

*****

Xander poured the kettle of hot water into a pitcher, extinguished all of the remaining candles
in the kitchen other than the one he would use to light his way and headed upstairs. Without a
word, he placed the pitcher on the small washstand and reclined back against the pillows on
the bed, crossing his feet at the ankles.

“Thank you,” Charlotte said from where she sat on the side of the bed, her head turned away
as she brushed the numerous tangles she’d accumulated in hair over the past day. Even that
simple act stirred the desire for her inside him, now his near constant companion.

She turned and gave him a quizzical look. “Is everything alright?” A smile and nod were his
only response. Her eyes narrowed as she grew more suspicious of his silence. “Are you
hiding something?”

Fighting a grin, he merely shrugged.

Her gaze swept over him and, setting her brush aside, she climbed across the bed on her
knees. “Alexander Colbourne! Did you bring biscuits into our bed?” She brushed her fingers
over his chest. “You are getting crumbs in the sheets!” She scrambled up, straddling his waist
and pushing him into the bed. “You are eating shortbread,” she accused him, pressing his
cheeks between her hands.

He swallowed hard, his stomach shaking with silent laughter. Sitting forward, he reached up
and pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor next to the bed. “There, no more
crumbs.”

She smiled as she brushed a crumb from his lips before running her thumbs over his
eyebrows. “You have a hundred expressions and I love them all.”

He chuckled and scowled fiercely. “Surely not all.”

“Yes, all,” she laughed. “I love every aspect of your being. From the way your hair insists on
curling to the little line you get here when you are worried,” she lightly touched the faint
crease between his brows. “Your fine Roman nose,” her fingers traced down his nose to his
mouth. “and the lips that fight so hard not to smile at times. My husband is the most
handsome and passionate of men.”

He raised a sardonic brow at her declaration. “Your observations are somewhat biased.”

Ignoring him, she continued her exploration. “He may bellow and rage like the most
frightening of storms,” she stroked her hands along his jawline and down his neck, “but he
also loves with the tenderest of touches and the sweetest of kisses.” Her fingers slipped
across his collarbones and over his chest, swirling through the patch of hair sprinkled there.
Xander sucked in a breath as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the pulse
thrumming at his throat. It thrilled him that she had grown comfortable enough to be so open
with her affections and returned his ardor so passionately. Her dress had been pushed up her
legs when she’d straddled him, leaving them bared for his hands to freely caress. Slowly, he
inched them up beneath that striped dress that had haunted his dreams for so long. When her
hands drifted lower, over the planes of his stomach, he could take it no more. Sitting up, he
captured her lips with his and pulled her legs around his waist.

It was not long at all before his hands found the buttons on her back and that same striped
dress ended up on the floor.

*****

Charlotte raised her head from the warm firmness of her husband’s chest and watched him
dozing beside her. He lay on his back, his face turned towards her, his lips slightly parted.
Once again, the blankets had been pushed down to his waist, his hand laying across his
stomach. He stirred under her gaze. Perhaps even in sleep their connection was enough to
bring him back to her when he felt her eyes upon him. “You’re watching me sleep,” he
murmured, his eyes still closed.

She smiled as he opened one lid and peered at her. “It’s quite fascinating, actually. Do you
know, I’ve never seen you so still?”

“I am frequently still,” he countered. “Too often, actually. I have been accused of wool-
gathering since childhood.”

“Yes, but you are not really still,” she disagreed. “Even when you’re lost in thought, I can
almost hear your mind turning. But when you’re asleep, you’re truly at rest and I find it
pleasing to see you so.”

He raised a disbelieving brow at her observation and rubbed his face briskly with his hands.
His whiskers were growing quite long and made a rasping noise beneath his fingers. “There
are far more entertaining things we could do in this bed than watch me sleep.”

“You’re insatiable. We have been in bed all morning. We should go for a walk today, take in
some fresh air.” While she found their time in bed very enjoyable, she could use an hour or
two standing upright for a change. Her fingers danced lightly across the soft skin beneath his
ribs and he squirmed in response.

“Charlotte.” His tone carried a hint of warning.

Amused by his response, she ran a feather light touch over his flat belly. He sucked in his
stomach with a hissing intake of air, pulling away from her touch. She reached out again and
giggled as he quickly caught her hand, preventing her from reaching her target.

“Charlotte, please stop.”

She pushed herself up on her elbows and stared down at him, equally surprised and amused.
“Stern and humorless Mr. Colbourne is ticklish?”
He scowled. “Who said I was stern and humorless?”

“Lady Lydia,” Charlotte grinned. “At the shooting party. She said she found you stern and
humorless. I told her if she brought up the subject of dogs or horses, she might find you more
lively.”

He pushed himself up so that he was leaning back on his elbows and stared at her, his mouth
open. “ You told her I enjoy talking about dogs and horses? No wonder she kept bringing the
subject up. Why did you tell her that?”

Charlotte collapsed into a ball, laughing. “I was being helpful! You do like dogs and horses!”

In a flash he was on her, his fingers finding her most sensitive spots until she was weeping
with laughter. “Xander!” she shrieked. “Stop!”

She found herself lying flat on her stomach. He’d managed to wrap his arms around her so
her own arms were pinned at her sides. Before she could move she felt the lightest of kisses
on the back of her neck. She purred approvingly as he pressed another kiss a inch lower, his
lips moving slowly down her spine. They would not be leaving the bed anytime soon.

The backs of her knees, the curves of her calves and firm hands on her hips guiding her to
roll over. The tips of her toes, the arch of her foot. She shivered when he reached the inside of
her thighs, her mind beginning to spin as he continued higher and then stopped, taking an
unforeseen interest in a most unexpected place. Her mother had definitely not described this
to her and her sister when explaining the acts of love between a man and woman. A startling
surge of pleasure rippled through her very core and she gasped, twisting the sheets in her
hands.

Pausing in his ministrations, he raised his dark eyes to hers as though seeking her permission
to continue. “Xander,” she breathed. “Don’t stop.”

*****

“Has there been any sign of them, Mrs. Wheatley?” Mrs. Purvis asked as she entered the
kitchen. “It’s nearly time to prepare dinner and I’m at a loss as to whether I should plan on
feeding them or not.”

The housekeeper shook her head. “They haven’t been seen as of yet. Make the meal for the
staff as you usually would. If they happen to show up, I’m sure we can scrape something
together to serve them, even if it’s a cold dinner. But I’ve a feeling they won’t be seen until
quite late.”

Knowing Xander, he would wait until the last possible moment to return to the house with his
bride and she did not blame him one bit. He’d had so few chances in life to truly do what he
wished, he would take the fullest advantage allowed to them of their limited time alone.

*****
Charlotte stretched and wiggled her toes before rolling on top of her husband, settling her
chin in her hands as she gazed at him. It had remained unspoken between them that, being
their last day alone, they would not be wasting it on trifling things such as fresh air, reading
or sleep. But the gradual dimming of light in the bedroom gave an all too clear reminder that
their time was growing short.

Xander made a sound that wasn’t so much of a sigh as a reluctant exhalation of air.

“What is it?”

“This is our last day here, just the two of us. Tomorrow, it is back to our real lives.”

She snorted. “It is hardly my real life to spend a day packing more clothes than I’ve ever
owned to spend two weeks in London where I shall attend more balls, parties, dinners and
outings than I have in my entire life combined.”

The look he gave her was one she was all too familiar with from her days as a governess.
“You are purposefully misunderstanding my meaning. Are you not disappointed it’s over?”

“Of course I’m sad that our time here is ending,” she countered, kissing him soundly. “But I
also miss the girls and will be happy to see them again. I can’t wait to hear all about their
adventures and to see Augusta attend a London ball. Have you not missed them as well?”

“I have,” he admitted. “I do not relish spending two weeks in London, however.”

“Well, Husband, you have never spent time in London with your lovely new wife. Perhaps by
the time we leave, you will have changed your mind.” His lips twitched with amusement.
“Shouldn’t we be getting back to the house? It’s growing dark and Mrs. Wheatley is probably
wondering where we are.”

He brushed her hair out of her face. “Mrs. Wheatley knows very well where we are. Do you
really wish to return sooner than necessary?”

“You mean to stay until the very last moment? Are we to return like thieves in the darkness of
night?”

He slid his hands down her back and kissed her on the chin. “There are lanterns downstairs
beside the door. We can return with little fanfare and slip right upstairs to our room without
being seen.”

“Our room. I like the sound of that.” She sighed happily as she ran her feet down his shins,
pressing her toes against his.

His eyes squeezed closed as he sucked air through his teeth. “How are your feet always
cold?” he demanded abruptly, his brow furrowed with sudden frustration.

She giggled, burying her face in his chest and inhaling the scent of him. She had become
quite addicted over the past few days and was convinced that no one else could possibly fill
her senses in such a way.
“I’m quite serious, Charlotte,” he objected to her laughter. “Is it some medical condition I’m
not aware of? Are all women like this? Do I need to send for the doctor?”

She began to laugh in earnest, her stomach shaking against his, and stealthily aimed her
fingers towards his ribs as she distracted him with a gentle nibble on his bottom lip. If they
were not going to return to the house until late in the night, they may as well ensure the time
was well spent. By now, she knew precisely how her attack would end but was more than
willing to pay the price.

*****

Mrs. Wheatley raised her eyes from the list of groceries she’d been compiling, checking the
time once again. The hour was quite late and there was still no sign of the newlyweds. Rising
from her chair, she picked up the candle holder and made her way through the dimly lit hall
to the stairs. As she began to climb, bypassing the first and second floors, she silently
thanked Xander for insisting she move to a small bedroom on the first floor a few years prior,
claiming the accommodations better suited her role as housekeeper and had nothing to do
with the number of years she’d lived on this earth.

Reaching the top floor, she set the candle holder on a shelf and moved towards a window that
provided a wide view of the extensive grounds. Within moments, she was rewarded for her
trip up the stairs by the sight of two bouncing lights making their way slowly down the dark
path towards the house. She watched in silence until the lights grew closer, a smile breaking
across her face as two figures began to take shape, their hands clasped together.

*****

The waning crescent moon gave off little natural light to help guide their footsteps as they
made their way carefully through the grounds to the house. Xander was grateful that Mrs.
Wheatley had had the forethought to ensure that lanterns were at hand for the short trek. Her
anticipation that they would wait until the last possible moment to leave the sanctuary of the
cottage before returning to their roles as master and mistress of Heyrick Park was nothing
less than expected.

As was the soft glow of a candle he saw in a top floor window that disappeared as they got
closer to the house.

The crunch of gravel beneath their feet was the only sound as they made their way to the
front doors, the house lanterns lit in expectation of their return. He turned towards Charlotte,
bundled in the soft fur cape and hood she’d worn on their wedding day. Puffs of air filled the
cold air between them. “Shall I carry you over the threshold?” he asked in a low voice, the
darkness of night demanding they speak quietly. He bit back a grin, fairly confident he knew
what her answer would be.

“As I am not a Sabine and you ,” she whispered, elbowing him in the ribs, “despite your
exhaustive efforts, are not attempting to populate Rome, I believe we can forgo such a
tradition. It is late and cold and I do not require any theatrics to go inside.”
 A huff of laughter escaped him. Only his wife would reference Greek mythology whilst
considering a harmless act of newlyweds everywhere. An enormous sense of love, pride and
happiness washed over him. For years he had imagined bringing the woman he loved home
to Heyrick Park, where the two of them would build a family and life together and now that
dream had come true. He tipped his head, opened the doors and extended his hand for her to
enter the house.

“Welcome home, Mrs. Colbourne.”

Chapter End Notes

There are a variety of stories as to how the tradition of carrying the bride over the
threshold began but being a fan of Greek mythology and history, Xander would likely
have known the reference to the story of the Sabine women.
 Mr. & Mrs. Colbourne Go to Town
Chapter Summary

The newlyweds travel to London.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Mr. & Mrs. Colbourne Go to Town

Xander woke early as was his usual routine before he had married, finding himself nestled
comfortably next to his wife in her new room. Considering his own room had never felt like
it belonged to him, he’d been more than happy to relinquish his room in favor of hers. He
smiled and kissed her bare shoulder before slipping quietly from their bed. Her brow
furrowed slightly in sleep as she shifted towards where he’d been lying a moment before, her
body seeking the warmth that had just been stolen from her. The knowledge that, so soon
after they were married, she already missed him, even in sleep, infused him with a warmth he
now knew he’d been missing his entire life. Pulling the blankets tighter around her, he tucked
her in as though she was a small child.

Although he would have much preferred to stay in bed with his wife, there was a great deal to
be done before they left for London the next day. Dressing quickly, he pulled on his boots and
closed the bedroom door softly behind him. Making his way down the stairs, the familiar
sounds of the house coming awake filled his ears as the staff busied themselves with their
daily work and the added tasks of preparing for their departure.

A smile broke across his face as he entered the kitchens. “Good morning, Mrs. Wheatley.”

“It’s a pleasure to see you, sir,” her eyes lit up at the sight of him. “I hope everything at the
cottage met your approval?”

He reached for an apple from the large bowl that still sat on the table. “Everything was
perfect, Mrs. Wheatley, thank you.”

Her expression turned to one of teasing disapproval. “I noticed you slipped in after the house
had turned in.”

“I noticed you noticing.”

She pursed her lips. “Mr. Ellis said that everything in the cottage had been cleaned and
packed away when they went to fetch it this morning. Young Peter was beside himself at the
thought of the new mistress washing dishes.”
“I couldn’t stop her, Mrs. Wheatley,” he shrugged. “I suppose that’s what happens when you
marry a farmer’s daughter from Willingden.”

Charlotte had been adamant that all of the remaining supplies, dishes, and pots and pans were
packed back into the boxes they’d arrived in so they would be waiting when the cottage was
closed back up, refusing his suggestions that she leave things as they were. She couldn’t bear
the thought that a single dirty tea cup would be left for someone else to wash when she was
perfectly capable of doing so herself. He’d only been able to keep her from washing the
linens and the few clothes they’d worn because there was no means of doing so at the
cottage. Even so, they had been neatly folded and placed in a waiting basket.

Knowing that there was little use in voicing opposition to Charlotte doing as she pleased, she
changed the subject. “Are you heading out for a ride, sir?”

Xander nodded. He wanted to get in a ride before they were gone for the next two weeks.
“I’ll be checking in with the tenants and the dairy before we depart for London tomorrow but
I won’t be long.”

“And will Mrs. Colbourne be coming down for breakfast or would she prefer a tray brought
to her?” She raised an eyebrow, a pleased look on her face as she referred to his wife for the
first time.

He blinked, unaccustomed to being asked about Charlotte’s plans. Their days had hardly been
routine up to this point as they’d woken late, eaten at odd hours and sought their marriage
bed early and frequently. He blushed at the memories as he pondered the question. “I believe
she’ll prefer to come down,” he replied finally, knowing that it was the most likely answer.

Growing up as she had, his new bride was hardly used to having a tray brought to her unless
she was ill and was unlikely to approve of suddenly being served breakfast in bed by a maid
simply because she was now the mistress of an estate. Charlotte was certainly not one to do
things simply because it was conventional. He headed towards the door and then stopped,
turning back.

“Mrs. Colbourne is still asleep but if she comes down before I return, please let her know I’ll
join her for breakfast when I get back.” He wondered when he’d get used to calling her by
her new name. He was still getting used to calling her Charlotte out loud and not just in his
head.

The housekeeper nodded approvingly. “Very good, Mr. Colbourne.”

*****

More than feeling disconcerted at waking in a new bedroom in a new house, Charlotte found
the experience of waking for the first time without her husband by her side unsettling. She’d
become so accustomed to his constant presence that she felt a little as though one of her own
appendages was missing. It was an odd experience that she had not expected but one she was
grateful for all the same, for it must surely mean that she was truly happy and deeply in love.
A smile spread across her face as she raised her arms over her head. It was no great stretch of
the imagination to guess where he was. She knew he’d missed Hannibal and Luna nearly as
much as he did the girls, the bond between man and beasts only made stronger by the hours
they’d spent together during his years of self-imposed isolation. And she certainly did not
begrudge him his morning rides. She’d long believed that they served as a type of healing
elixir for his soul. But she could not help missing the feeling of waking in his arms.

With a sigh, she rose, pulling on her dressing gown. She quickly performed her morning
toilette, pinned up her hair and donned her chemise, stockings and shoes. She laid one of her
simpler day dresses out on the bed and eyed the bell pull with resignation. Without Xander,
she would have no choice but to call for a maid to assist her with her stays and dress. While
she had frequently made use of Mary’s maid while staying at the Parker’s, it felt strange to
call for one in the house where she had been a member of the staff not all that long ago. She
stared at the pull for a long moment before reaching out her hand just as the door opened.

She sighed at the sight of her husband, her shoulders slumping with relief. “Good morning.
You are just in time to help me finish dressing.”

“Good morning. I missed you too.” He leaned in for a kiss, smelling of leather and hay.

“I did miss you,” she insisted, turning her back to him. “It was very odd waking up alone. I’m
not sure I liked it.”

“I did not enjoy leaving you alone either. But I needed to visit the dairy before we leave
tomorrow and it’s best to get that done first thing.” Nimble fingers began to pull at her laces.
“I am much better at removing these than putting them on,” he reminded her. “Why did you
not call for Cora? She’s been helping Augusta for some months now.”

“I know I should have,” she admitted, pulling on her dress. “But it will take some time to get
used to doing so. Until recently, I was counted as a member of the staff. One doesn’t move on
from that easily.” Within moments she was ready for the day. “Shall we go down?”

“Promise me you will not hesitate to ask for help again?” he pressed, bending his knees to
look her in the eye. “Every member of this household is pleased to have you as the mistress
of this estate. They want you to feel as welcome as I do.”

Her hand came up to cup his cheek. It did no good for her to argue and she wouldn’t have
wished to do so anyway. “I promise.”

He settled his hands on her waist and pulled her closer, capturing her lips with his.
Instinctively, her arms went around his neck as she opened for him. Their desires escalated
quickly until they broke apart, panting.

“What was that about self-restraint, Mr. Colbourne?”

“I never claimed it would be easy.” He leaned towards her again. “We can always be late for
breakfast.”
“Absolutely not,” she pushed him away. “I just got dressed. We are going down to eat the
lovely breakfast that was prepared for us.”

Xander fell back onto the bed, the evidence of his desire clearly apparent. “We will need to
wait a few minutes.”

With a laugh, she moved well away from the bed. “Perhaps some more Latin will help.”

*****

Xander raised his head at the sound of a knock on his study door. The sight of Charlotte
standing in the doorway brought back memories of her days as a governess and the rare
occasions when she would seek him out for some reason or other. More than often than not,
she had appeared unsure of the reception she would receive from him. Watching her now, so
plainly pleased to see him, only emphasized how much they had been through together and
he vowed that she would never again worry that he would be anything but pleased to see her.

Dropping his quill, he pushed his chair away from the desk. “The sight of you is good for
sore eyes.”

“I’m happy to hear it.” She moved closer and he held out his hand to her, pulling her onto his
lap. “You’ve been working very hard all day.” She leaned against him and fingered the
buttons on his open collar, his cravat having been tossed onto a chair not long after breakfast.

Tightening his arms around her, he brushed his lips against her temple. She wouldn’t be
pleased with what he was about to tell her. “There are things that needed to be attended to
from last week as well as preparing for our absence for the next two weeks. Unfortunately, I
am still not done so I will need to finish after dinner.”

Her brows furrowed ever so slightly, a flicker of disappointment in her eyes. “Dinner is
ready.”

He hated to disappoint her but he could not ignore his responsibilities to the estate. “I’m sorry
that we cannot spend any time together this evening. It will be different in London.”

She forced a smile. “I know, my love. We have a lifetime to be together.” She stood up,
tugging on his hand to follow her. “I told Mrs. Wheatley that I would fetch you.”

“Consider me fetched.”

*****

Charlotte stepped into the bath, allowing the rose scented water to slip soothingly over her
skin. She leaned back and closed her eyes, letting her disappointment that Xander had
returned to his study immediately after dinner disappear into the hot water.

She could not begrudge his desire to have the estate’s affairs in order before their trip and
truly did not expect anything less from him. He had set his work aside for their trip to
Willingden and their honeymoon and now it would be set aside for their trip to London as
well. If he did not take his work seriously, he would not be the man she’d come to admire so
deeply.

It was not as though she had not had responsibilities of her own to attend to during the day.
She had spent the afternoon writing lengthy letters to her mother and Alison describing the
wedding in great detail and a number notes of thanks to those that helped with the wedding
arrangements. The morning had been spent with Mrs. Wheatley, packing their trunks for
London. Dresses, gowns, hats, gloves, and shoes that had not yet been worn went into the
trunks and cases. She was grateful that Xander and Susan had insisted she order so many new
garments. The scrutiny she would face in London would be unforgiving. She may have been
raised in a small country village but she would not allow anyone in London to mistake her for
anything other than the wife of a fine gentleman.

Packing for her husband had been only slightly less work. For a man who never went
anywhere, he had a surprising number of waistcoats to choose from and the necessary
clothing to slip easily into London Society rather than appear like a country farmer. When
pressed as to why he kept so abreast with current fashion, the housekeeper had admitted that
she had long hoped he’d rejoin Society and made regular inquiries to the tailor in town to
ensure her employer was well dressed. Xander put little thought into his attire and simply put
on whatever his housekeeper suggested.

Picking up the bar of soap that had been left for her, she inhaled the scent. Here was at least
one source of her husband’s intoxicating smell. Her ears pricked at the unfamiliar sounds of
the house around her as she began to wash. Cora humming as she walked down the hall, the
jingling of Mrs. Wheatley’s chatelaine, and the clanking of empty water buckets told her that
Xander’s bath was being readied in the master’s bedroom. With a sudden recollection, she
raised her eyes to the clock on the mantle. It was not all that late yet and his bath would not
have been ordered if he was not finished with his work, or nearly so. Finishing her bath, she
rose from the water and pulled on her dressing gown before walking into her dressing room
in search of a box she’d brought from Trafalgar House.

She was sitting at the dressing table brushing her hair when he entered their bedroom, his
own hair still damp and curling from his bath and his face clean shaven. She kept her back
turned, watching him in the mirror as he removed his banyan. She turned on the stool and
stood, her hand fingering the delicate lace that trimmed the neck of the silk robe she was
wearing.

He glanced up at her and froze, the banyan falling to the floor. “Where did you get that?”

She smiled at the sudden roughness of his voice. “It was a wedding gift from Susan,” she ran
her hands down the pale blue fabric to the knotted belt holding it in place. “It was meant for
our honeymoon but Mrs. Wheatley wouldn’t have known to send the box to the cottage with
our things.”

“The color suits you.” His voice was strained, the tone one she’d come to know well over the
past week.

She nearly laughed out loud. “Do you think so?” she asked, undoing the belt as she took a
step closer to him, letting the robe fall open. His throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. She
shrugged, letting the robe fall off her shoulders and onto the floor, leaving her standing in the
sheer nightrail that lay underneath. “I don’t think the nightrail is entirely practical though.”

His eyes widened as he took in the sight of his wife standing before him, the thin fabric
hugging her curves and leaving very little to the imagination. “No,” he whispered in
agreement.

Charlotte stepped closer still. “It’s quite sheer. You can almost see through it.”

He nodded, seemingly at a loss for words.

She pressed her hands against his chest. “Do you like it? I can’t decide.”

With a groan, he swept her into his arms, carrying her to their bed. “The death of me,
Charlotte,” he whispered against her skin as she pulled him closer.

“You never answered my question,” she whispered softly into the darkness some time later.
“Do you like Susan’s gift?”

He yawned and pulled her closer against his chest. “Whoever designed that nightrail is an
artist. And please pass my sincere gratitude on to Susan.”

*****

A soft knock on the bedroom door woke Xander from sleep. The door creaked and he opened
his eyes as a glow pierced the darkness, casting flickering shadows on the ceiling and walls.

“Good morning, Mr. Colbourne, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mrs. Wheatley said from the doorway as
she set the single candle she held down on the table by the door.

As the sound of the fireplace poker stirring the dying embers to life and fresh logs being
placed onto the fire followed, he suddenly became rather conscious of the clothes that were
strewn on the floor from the night before. The loyal housekeeper had dictated to the staff that
no one was to enter their chambers before they woke without her express permission,
ensuring the newlyweds retained their privacy as much as possible. As such, she’d taken it
upon herself to wake them for their trip to London instead of delegating the task to a maid, a
fact he was becoming increasingly grateful for. It was one thing to face Mrs. Wheatley, a
woman he knew would take his secrets to the grave with her, but it was entirely different
facing the knowing and embarrassed looks of the housemaids.

“Thank you Mrs. Wheatley,” he said softly into the darkness a moment before the door closed
behind her.

He turned back towards Charlotte. She had not stirred from where she lay curled on her side
facing him, buried under the coverlet. He ran his hand up the smooth skin of her back. “It’s
time to wake up, my love.”

She grumbled and wriggled closer. “Tired,” she protested sleepily. “Warm bed.”
He smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I know,” he rubbed her back more vigorously,
attempting to wake her. “But we must leave soon in order to make the best possible time.
With fewer daylight hours, we must take full advantage of them.”

Her face scrunched up, her nose wrinkling in a way he found completely adorable. “I’ve
changed my mind. I would rather go back to the steward’s cottage.”

“That does sound far preferable to London,” he agreed, laughing softly. If only they could
have had a month in the steward’s cottage instead of five days. “But the girls are in London
and we promised Sam and Susan we’d fetch them.”

She sighed and blinked her wide, brown eyes at him. “Well, then. I suppose we must get out
of bed after all.”

She rolled to her back and stretched, back arched, arms raised above her head and toes
pointed. Taking full advantage of the opportunity, he lightly stroked his fingers back and
forth on her belly, causing her to squeak and curl back into a ball. He shifted hastily away
from her knees and rolled over with a groan, pushing himself up into a seated position. If he
stayed in bed any longer, they would most definitely leave later than planned.

“That was meanly done.”

“Yet, you are wide awake now,” he pointed out as he tied his banyan.

“Do not think I won’t return the favor.”

He leaned over and kissed her soundly. “I shall look forward to it with every breath.”

Within the hour, Charlotte was bundled beneath blankets in the waiting carriage, a basket of
food and warmer of hot coals next to her feet. She raised the blankets as he climbed inside
and took the seat next to her. As soon as he was settled and the carriage was on its way, she
leaned into his side and closed her eyes. It would be a long journey and there would be little
to do in the cold carriage besides talking and sleeping.

“It will be late by the time we reach Rook House,” he said quietly.

“Then Leo will be in bed when we arrive,” she replied, disappointed. “I had hoped to see her
and Augusta.”

“I doubt Leo will be asleep. She has a tendency to stay up until all hours when she’s excited
to hear about something. Mrs. Wheatley has a devil of a time keeping her in bed on the nights
Augusta and I have attended balls together.”

She laughed. “I recall as much from that night you brought me home with you. She will be as
eager to see us now as she was back then. Both of them will be.”

“Leo will be excited to see both of us, but I'm sure Augusta will simply be happy to see you.”

“And I am certain that Augusta has missed you as well,” she insisted, pushing her knee
against his. “I’ve been meaning to ask, why is Samuel’s house called Rook House?”
“The land it is built on used to be occupied by a rookery. Apparently it took a great deal of
effort to displace the birds when the builders began their work. They were quite a nuisance,
taking affront to their nests being destroyed and attacking the workmen. My grandfather
thought the whole thing amusing and selected the name in honor of the birds.”

“He sounds like quite the character. Are there still rooks around, tormenting Samuel each
time he leaves his home?”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Until I went to London to bring Samuel back to Sanditon as
Mrs. Molyneux’s lawyer, I had not set foot in the house in ten years. In reality though, it is
not Samuel’s house. It is mine. Or ours, I should say.”

He felt her stiffen with surprise. “It’s part of the entail?”

“No, it is not part of the estate but rather a separate inheritance through our mother’s line.
Heyrick Park was meant to be Samuel’s and Rook House was meant to be mine, as second
son. When Sam refused Heyrick Park, he requested that he be allowed to live in it and I
agreed at the time without giving it much consideration.”

She sat up and stared at him. “You mean to say he has nothing?”

“He gave up his inheritance, Charlotte, and he has been living in the home at no cost for a
decade,” he argued. “That is certainly not nothing.”

“But he has no property of his own? And what are you planning to do with the house? You
hate London. Why have you not simply given it to him?”

“It’s an investment in our future. What if Augusta or Leo should wish to live in London? Or
any other children we might have?”

She gave him a hard look. “An investment we do not need. Leo will never live in a city and
you know it. She will only be content with a large amount of land to wander around on, like
her father. And I would never tell Samuel and Susan they must leave in order to make room
for Augusta or anyone else for that matter. It is their home, Xander!”

“We have not exactly spoken in the past decade, Charlotte,” he protested. “I wasn’t in a
position to just sign the deed over to him.”

“Whyever not? He is still your brother after all.”

In all honesty, he had not considered his ownership of Rook House since Samuel had left
Heyrick Park after their father died. He’d spent little enough time there after the death of their
mother and none at all since their estrangement a decade ago. That is, until he’d
spontaneously ridden to London to convince Samuel to return to Sanditon just to please
Charlotte. He hadn’t felt any sense of ownership or connection to the place when he’d
stepped back into the house after all these years.

He could not deny that Charlotte was correct. They did not need Rook House and Leo would
never wish to live there. Augusta had her own inheritance and in all likelihood would be
married before they knew it. Her presence at the London balls was sure to bring her to the
attention of a bevy of eligible young men and she might very well form an attachment. And
as strained as their relationship had been, he would never be so callous as to ask his brother
and Susan to depart the house in favor of someone else.

But he was not sure if he was prepared to simply sign the property away. His grandfather and
mother had intended for it to be his from the moment he’d been born and somehow, that
small tie, intangible as it was, still felt like a link to his mother after all these years.

*****

The hour was late when the carriage arrived at Rook House, the street empty of all but a few
carriages returning their occupants home from their gatherings. The front door opened as
Xander handed her down, a footman rushing outside to help with their baggage. Climbing the
steps, they entered the hall.

“Welcome, welcome!” Samuel greeted them enthusiastically. “We were beginning to grow
concerned.”

“The roads were in worse shape than expected,” Xander explained, lifting her wrap from her
shoulders as she hastily pulled off her gloves and bonnet so she could properly greet the
eagerly waiting Augusta and Susan.

Before he could completely remove his own coat, he was nearly bowled over as Leo flew
down the stairs and wrapped her arms around him. “Papa! I’m so glad you’re here!”

He returned her hug as best he could with his arms half-pinned to his sides and back pressed
against the door. “I’m happy to see you too, Leo. But you should have been asleep long ago.”

Samuel rolled his eyes behind Leo’s back. “Yes, well, she’s been rather excited to be reunited
with her papa and mama and it’s made sleep quite difficult to attain.”

Charlotte crouched to receive Leo’s embrace. “It’s alright, Leo. A little lost sleep now and
again is a small price to pay when your favorite people are on their way to see you.”

Samuel looked offended. “I thought I was her favorite person!”

“Well, you are my favorite uncle,” Leo giggled.

Xander looked at his brother smugly before turning a firm eye to their daughter. “You have
seen us, Leo, but it is time for bed. We will all see each other in the morning and you can tell
us everything you’ve been doing while in London.”

“I will see her to bed, Uncle,” Augusta offered. “We’ve both missed you and Aunt Charlotte
a great deal.”

Charlotte caught his eye, conveying ‘I told you so’ to him with a look. “Thank you, Augusta.
And it is good to see you as well.” She embraced the young woman before she followed Leo
up the stairs.
Susan grasped her hand. “You look a bit tired. Would you care for a nightcap or cup of tea?
Perhaps a bath? Or would you prefer to go straight to bed after your journey?”

She looked towards Xander and he tipped her head in unspoken agreement. “It’s been a long
day and sleep wasn’t really possible with all the bumps we encountered. I think we’d prefer
to go to bed if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Susan nodded. “We shall see you in the morning.”

“We have you in the guest room, Xander,” Samuel added as they began to climb the stairs. “I
assume one room will be enough?” he raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Unless Charlotte is
already tired of you.”

Charlotte placed a staying hand on Xander’s arm as he opened his mouth to give his brother
some sharp retort, shaking her head.

“Play nice, Samuel,” Susan shot her husband a look. “They have only just arrived. There will
be plenty of time for the two of you to spar later.”

The room Xander led her to was elegant, if a little outdated. She couldn’t help but wonder if
Susan felt as though she could freely redecorate a house that did not legally belong to her
husband. Xander had told her that the house had been left unchanged by his brother over the
past decade. And while Samuel may not have given much thought to redecorating, Susan
most assuredly would. While she had been hesitant at first to redecorate Heyrick Park, it
would have upset her greatly if she’d been told she could not freely redecorate her own home.

She hastily brushed the thought aside as their trunks were brought into the room. Xander
began reaching for his cravat before the door had even been closed. As though they’d been
married for years instead of days, he made quick work of unbuttoning her dress and
loosening her stays without being asked. Slipping a nightdress over her head, she slid beneath
the coverlet and closed her eyes as her head touched the pillow.

Xander leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. “Sleep?”

“Mmm,” she nodded in agreement. “Sleep.”

He rolled onto his back and obligingly settled himself on his pillows, raising his left arm to
accommodate her favored position of being pressed against his side, her head on his shoulder
and hand resting over his heart. It conveniently placed her for both the giving and receiving
of kisses and her hand was only a short distance away from the sensitive spot just beneath his
ribs. As though sensing her thoughts, he placed his right hand firmly over hers and she shook
with silent laughter, smiling against his chest as he blew out the last candle.

*****

“Good morning, Alexander,” Susan greeted him upon his entrance in the breakfast room. “I
trust you slept well?”
“Good morning, and yes, quite well, thank you. Although it did seem strange not to be in my
childhood room. I suppose one of the girls is occupying it instead.” He sat down at the table,
filling his plate.

“Yes, Leo was quite pleased when Samuel told her it had been your room as a boy.”

He raised his eyes from his plate to look at her. “Where is my brother this morning?”

“He had some business at his office to attend to. He should be back by luncheon or tea at the
latest. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” he assured her. “His work…has it suffered as a result…” He did not know quite
how to broach the subject of his new sister in law's former arrangement.

She smiled over her teacup. “The end to my former relationship and our unexpected
marriage? Samuel claims he was overworked as it was and any reduction in the number of
clients is welcome. But time will tell, won’t it? The ton has a strange memory. Some things
disappear like wisps of smoke, never to be seen again, while others return like some long lost
letter you forgot you read once.”

“I’m all too familiar.” For his family’s sake, Xander hoped that the ton’s memory of his
marriage to Lucy and the circumstances of his relationship with Charlotte were more the
former and not the latter. He could not bear to have them hurt as a result of his past mistakes.

“It’s kind of you to be concerned, Alexander,” Susan continued, “but we will be fine. I have
been lucky to benefit from sound investments over the years and your brother, though he may
seem entirely impetuous and not one to give much consideration to the future, has not done
too badly for himself either.”

Before he could say anything else, Leo bounded into the room. “Good morning, Papa!”

“Good morning, Leo. Are you not joining us?”

“I have already eaten,” she explained. “I have been up for hours and hours already. May we
go to the park today? There are swans there!”

He chuckled. He’d loved to see the swans himself as a boy. “Of course we can. But we
should wait until your mother and Augusta are done with breakfast in case they wish to join
us.”

Leo’s eyes brightened at the mention of her new mother. “I shall go see if Augusta is dressed
then!”

“Ah, the boundless energy of youth,” Susan laughed as Leo raced from the room. “If only it
could be bottled and sold. We’d all be very wealthy indeed.”

“I hope she has not been too much for you,” he said quickly. “She can be rather exuberant.”

“She has been a delight, Alexander,” she assured him. “It has been a pleasure to have them
both here. In fact, if Augusta wishes to return after the holidays for the remainder of the
season, we would be happy to host her.”

He blinked, caught off guard by the offer. There was a significant difference between a one-
week visit and having his niece in London until the summer. “That’s very generous of you’”
he said quickly, his mind spinning. “Charlotte and I will discuss it with Augusta.”

“I understand we are to visit the park after breakfast? Is that what we need to discuss with
Augusta?” Charlotte asked, entering the room.

“Good morning, Charlotte,” Susan greeted her. “I was just telling Alexander how Samuel and
I would love to have Augusta return for the remainder of the season if she wishes.”

Charlotte looked at him quickly, her brown eyes searching his expression. “What a generous
offer, Susan. And very exciting for Augusta.”

“We can discuss it later,” he said a little too quickly. Augusta and Leo would likely join them
soon and he did not wish to discuss the matter in his niece’s company before he and Charlotte
had had a chance to speak about it first. Charlotte’s brows raised slightly at his unexpectedly
firm tone but she merely nodded. He knew she would broach the topic again as soon as they
were alone.

*****

The park was busy given the unseasonably warm weather for early December. Linking her
arm around her husband’s, they joined the numerous other families walking the paths and
enjoying the morning sunshine.

“Why are you so hesitant about Augusta spending the remainder of the season in London?”
she asked as they walked, Leo and Augusta laughing together some distance ahead of them.
She’d been somewhat surprised by Susan’s offer to have Augusta return to London, but knew
she was likely not as surprised as Xander had been. Although he’d hid it well enough, she
was too well-versed in his expressions to not see how much the idea left him feeling
disconcerted.

“I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable having her here that long,” he admitted. “Samuel and
Susan have no prior experience acting as guardian to a young woman.”

Charlotte smiled indulgently, knowing he was only making excuses. “And you did when you
first brought Augusta home? You may have already had a daughter but you were little
prepared for a young woman of Augusta’s age at the time.”

“I’m little prepared for Augusta now.”

She squeezed his arm. “You will not find a better companion than Susan to guide Augusta
through the rigors of a season in London. And they have proven themselves perfectly capable
over the past week, have they not?”

He snorted. “I would not claim a week as proof that my brother can be trusted to keep
Augusta from any further entanglements like she had with Edward Denham.”
“Edward Denham can hardly be held up as an example of what all men are like,” she
reminded him. “I trust that Augusta has learned her lesson and Susan has impeccable skills
when it comes to recognizing someone’s true character. Even Samuel can sniff out someone
with less than honorable intentions, given the opportunity. He is a lawyer, after all, and a very
good one. She would be well looked after, Xander.”

“Hmm,” he made a non-committal sound. “I’m not convinced it’s a good idea.”

“It is perfectly acceptable to admit you will miss her if she chooses to return to London,
Xander,” she reminded him gently.

He ducked his head, refusing to meet her eye. “It is not as easy as saying I would miss her.
Our relationship has been tumultuous, to say the least. I will not miss the arguments or
feeling frustrated because I do not know how to speak with her when she’s upset. She
challenges me on a daily basis, but not always in a bad way. And she has been more like a
sister than cousin to Leo these past few months. She is simply part of Heyrick Park now, as
though she was always there. I cannot imagine not having her with us anymore.”

She smiled. “Nor can I.” Even if he could not say the words, it was plain to her that he would
miss Augusta when, or if, she ever decided to leave. Despite all his bluster about his duty to
see she made a suitable match, he was having a difficult time accepting the feelings that came
with truly considering the possibility of her leaving one day.

“Would you have wanted to spend a season here?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I would have missed being out of doors, walking amongst the
trees and fields. But I was not raised here as Augusta was, either. For her, London is like
coming home. She still has friends here. And her desire to spend the season here would not
be a reflection of any desire to leave us, but rather one of wishing to experience something
new and exciting, to rekindle old friendships and form new ones.

“Despite her age and the relatively short time she has lived with you, for all intents and
purposes, Augusta has become like another daughter to you. It is only natural that you will
miss her when she leaves. I know Leo and I certainly will. But I also know that she will
always be welcomed back at Heyrick Park and that she will miss all of us as well.”

He squinted into the distance, his gaze locked on some unknown object she could not make
out. “We will discuss it with Augusta after we return to Heyrick Park and let her decide,” he
finally conceded.

She looked quickly around to ensure they were not being observed before raising up on her
tiptoes and kissing him on the cheek. “Cheer up, my love. After all, you will likely have to
pull Leo out of a tree to get her to leave one day.”

He smiled despite himself. “And I know exactly which tree it will be.”
Chapter End Notes

Thank you all so much for the wonderful response to the last chapter. Writing intimate
scenes can be very daunting if you've never done it before. Cheers to you all and thanks
for reading!

Idiom origin: “The sight of you is good for sore eyes.” - First coined by Jonathan Swift,
“Polite Conversations”, c. 1738 (Precursor of “a sight for sore eyes”)
 A London Ball
Chapter Summary

The newlyweds run into some old friends while attending a London ball.

Chapter Notes

I was going to wait a couple more days before posting this chapter but it felt done and
I've honestly been waiting to share portions of this for MONTHS.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A London Ball

A buzz of activity ran through the house on the morning of Augusta’s first London ball.
Despite being unable to attend, Leo’s excitement nearly surpassed that of Augusta herself.
She seemed to have an unlimited number of questions and she presented them to anyone who
would listen. Already anxious, Augusta could take the questioning no longer and snapped at
her cousin over luncheon. Charlotte had managed to soothe Augusta and convinced her to lie
down and rest while Samuel convinced Leo to accompany him on an errand with the promise
of stopping for a treat on the way home.

“Leo’s in rare form today,” Charlotte observed as she lingered in the parlor with her husband.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so excited and it’s all for Augusta.” She glanced at Xander
who sat next to her, reading the newspaper. “If only she could pass along some of that
excitement to her father.”

“Would that she could,” he grunted from behind his paper. “I’d certainly be far better
company tonight.”

She placed her hand on his arm and he lowered the paper, his brown eyes meeting hers. “I’ve
seen you at balls before and you were perfectly fine.”

A huff of laughter escaped him. “I was perfectly tormented by your very presence, unable to
leave because I wanted to be near you and had no other excuses to be in your company.
Seeing you with Mr. Starling was agony itself.”

She smiled, her cheeks flushing. “As though watching you charm Lady Lydia was any easier
on me,” she countered.
“Charm is hardly the word. You know very well that I’m incapable of such tactics. I could
have stood there speaking gibberish and Lady Montrose would have still pushed her daughter
towards me.” His features took on a perplexed expression. “In fact, I’m not convinced I
wasn’t speaking gibberish since my mind was solely on you the entire time. There’s no telling
what I actually said to either of them whenever you were in my line of sight.”

She laughed. “You jest but I find you quite charming when you wish to be. At least you no
longer need to be tormented by my presence.”

“I will always be tormented by your presence, Charlotte. It has simply taken another form.”

She could not hide how much his words pleased her even if she’d wanted to. “Whatever am I
to do with you?”

The heated look he gave her in response sent a hum of desire through her and left her face
burning. She was thankful he did not give voice to the thoughts in his head for he clearly had
any number of suggestions available in response to her question.

Before she could respond, Susan walked into the room, followed by a maid carrying a large
box. “Charlotte, my dear, I have a gift for you.”

“Susan! You do not need to give me anymore gifts,” she protested, rising from her chair.
“You’ve already been far too generous.”

“Ah, well, it is not entirely my doing,” she admitted as the maid set the box down on the tea
table. “I am merely the instigator. Your generous husband was wholly complicit once I
explained the nature of my scheme to him.”

Charlotte cast a surprised glance at Xander but he merely shrugged and folded his newspaper
carefully, feigning innocence even as a flush crept up his neck. Stepping forward, she lifted
the lid of the box, revealing a beautiful ball gown made of shimmering silver blue silk. A
small gasp left her lips. “Susan! This is exquisite!”

Susan beamed. “I may only take credit for the choice of design and providing your
measurements. Alexander selected the fabric during our visit to London before your wedding.
We wanted you to have something new to wear tonight.”

She turned to him. “You chose this?”

He nodded, clearly embarrassed. “I thought it suited you.

Charlotte blinked rapidly, clearing the tears from her eyes. “Thank you both. I will wear it
with pride tonight.”

*****

When he entered their room that evening, he found his wife sitting before the mirror as
Susan’s maid applied the finishing touches to her hair. With a final pin, the maid gave them a
brief bob and left the room.
“You look very handsome this evening, my love,” Charlotte rose and moved towards him.
She ran her hands over his lapels. “The silver waistcoat looks very nice.”

He placed a tender kiss on her upturned lips. “And you look enchantingly beautiful.
Although, there does seem to be something missing.” He ran his thumb lightly beneath her
collarbone.

A small wrinkle of confusion appeared between her brows. “I have not yet put on my jewelry
if that is what you mean. I thought I’d wear the necklace you gave me as a wedding present.”

“I have a better idea.” He pulled the flat box from behind his back and opened the lid,
presenting it to her.

She gasped at the sight of the sapphire necklace and earrings. “Xander! What did you do?”

“Less than you think,” he insisted. “The stones were part of a set that belonged to my mother.
I merely had them reset for you. So, it is not as extravagant a gift as you might believe.
Besides, it is my prerogative to spoil my wife. Now, turn around so I may put it on you.”

He placed the necklace around her neck, allowing his fingers to linger at her nape before
ducking his head and kissing the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder.

She turned to face him. “When did you do this? We have only been here a few days.”

“I sent the pieces with Samuel when they returned to London after our wedding. I assume
Susan helped select the new settings. The errand that Samuel took Leo on this afternoon was
to retrieve them on my behalf. I knew if I said I needed to run an errand, you’d be suspicious
if I didn’t tell you what it was.”

Charlotte fingered the jewels at her throat. “You are spoiling me. I don’t need any of this to
be happy. I only need you and our family.”

“And that is exactly why you deserve to be spoiled. I promise not to be too generous but
please let me spoil you a little. It makes me happy and you are due some spoiling after all you
do for others.”

Her expression softened. “I don’t know what I did to deserve so much.”

“It’s really rather simple, Charlotte. You make us all happy.”

*****

King Street was crowded with carriages when they arrived outside of Almack’s and those
entering the building took quick note of the two handsome couples that exited the carriage, as
well as the lovely young woman that accompanied them. As well-known as she was in
London circles, Susan was easily recognized and whispers followed them up the steps.

There had been some concern that they would not even be able to obtain vouchers to the ball
given Susan’s recent relegation to former favorite of the king. However, the current patroness
was an old friend of Susan’s and had been easily persuaded that, king’s favorite or not, the
ton would be very curious indeed to catch a glimpse of the man that had, not only saved the
fortune of the noted Antiguan heiress, but had the audacity to steal the former Lady de
Clemente from the king himself. That Samuel was a long-standing member of Brooks’s and
well-acquainted with the Willis family only further swayed the matter.

The rooms inside the large building were already well occupied by the time they had
removed their coats and wraps. The elaborately chalked design on the pine floor was nearly
indistinguishable, much to Augusta’s consternation, for she had not wanted to miss any detail
about her first London ball. But the festive holiday air and beautifully dressed women more
than made up for her disappointment.

Susan was quickly greeted by a number of acquaintances and so many introductions were
made that it was impossible to recall them all. If there were more than a few raised eyebrows
upon learning that the couple accompanying the former Lady de Clemente and her new
husband was the cuckold Alexander Colbourne and his new bride, who happened to also be
his former governess, they were ignored. But they were not as easily forgotten. Charlotte had
hoped that news of their marriage would seem rather dull to those who spent their time in
London Society but it seemed the combination of their association with Samuel and Susan,
Lucy’s affair and their unconventional marriage were too alluring for them to be ignored.

Despite his polite demeanor, Xander stood stiffly next to her, well aware of the eyes upon
their group. With a tug on his arm, he tipped his head towards her. “I love you and you love
me,” she whispered. “And that is all that matters.” His eyes bore into her for a long moment
before he nodded and, placing his hand on hers, touched the ring he’d slid onto her finger that
day in the church.

“Charlotte,” Susan interrupted them with a tip of her chin. “Is that not Lady Denham’s niece
walking towards us?”

Charlotte’s attention fell on the couple walking towards them and smiled. She had not seen
Esther since the midsummer ball and Lord Babington since the prior summer. She had been
so happy for Esther when she and Lord Babington had married, his persistent cheerfulness a
perfect counter for her sarcastic wit. “It is indeed. She’s Lady Babington now. They married
the summer before last. Lord Babington is a kind man.”

“It’s a pleasure to see you again Lord and Lady Babington,” she greeted the couple
enthusiastically. “May I introduce my husband, Mr. Alexander Colbourne, his brother, Mr.
Samuel Colbourne and our niece, Miss Augusta Markham. Of course, you remember my new
sister-in-law, the former Lady de Clemente, now Mrs. Colbourne as well.”

“My, so many Colbournes to remember.” Despite Esther’s dry tone, her eyes danced with
humor. “I heard the news of both of your weddings from my aunt just this past week. Our
congratulations to you all. I recall Mr. Colbourne and Miss Markham from my aunt’s garden
party this past summer.”

Augusta winced slightly and Xander cleared his throat, his ears pinking. “Not my best
showing, my lady. I pray you forget the day entirely for both of our benefits.”
“Nonsense,” Esther insisted. “We’ve all had our moments, Mr. Colbourne.” She turned to
Susan. “It’s lovely to see you again. We met at the Sanditon regatta the summer before last, if
you recall.”

“I do, my lady,” Susan acknowledged. “It is where I met my dear sister-in-law for the first
time as well. So much has changed since then.”

“It has indeed,” Charlotte gave her husband’s arm a brief squeeze just as another familiar face
appeared at Lord Babington’s side. “Why Mr. Crowe! It’s a pleasure to see you again as
well!”

“Is it?” Mr. Crowe seemed somewhat surprised that anyone would be pleased to see him. He
raised his glass of champagne in acknowledgement. “That seems unlikely but I shall take you
at your word.”

“Pay him no mind,” Lord Babington nudged Crowe, nearly causing the man to spill his drink.
He turned a rather wistful smile towards her. “I’m pleased to see you looking so happy, Mrs.
Colbourne.”

The twinge she felt was no longer one of pain but more a gentle reminder of a man they’d
both cared for a great deal. She gave him an understanding nod. “‘I’m very happy, Lord
Babington, thank you. I believe you know as well as I that sometimes life works out the way
it should, rather than how we’d once hoped it would.”

He exchanged a knowing look with his wife. “I couldn't agree more.”

Noticing that Xander appeared slightly confused at their exchange, she hurried to explain.
“Lord Babington and Mr. Crowe were particular friends of Sidney’s.”

“Ah.” His eyes darted between the two men. “My sincere condolences. I did not know Mr.
Parker but I understand he was a fine gentleman.”

“Lady de Clemente, I am surprised to see you here under the circumstances.”

The group turned, startled by the speaker’s sneering tone, only to come face to face with
Eliza Campion Parker once more.

“Oh, do forgive me. It’s no longer Lady de Clemente is it?” Eliza continued, eyeing Samuel
up and down with disapproval. “The entire ton has been buzzing with the news that you gave
up your title to marry a lawyer.”

“Well, I am an excellent lawyer,” Samuel smirked, edging closer to Susan’s side.

“Mrs. Parker, how delightful to see you again,” Susan’s tone left little doubt that there was
any delight involved in seeing Sidney’s widow again. She made a show of looking around for
the rest of Eliza’s party. “Did you come alone? That was rather bold of you.”

“Lord Babington, it is a pleasure to see you again,” Eliza turned her attention away from
Susan, ignoring her inquiry. “I haven’t seen you since our wedding. Sidney and I were so
pleased you were able to attend. It really was a lovely day, wasn’t it?” She sighed
dramatically. “We were so in love.”

Babington nodded, too polite to say anything to the contrary while his wife turned, taking a
sip of her champagne as she rolled her eyes. Mr. Crowe glanced at Eliza with distaste and
took another glass of champagne from a passing tray.

Eliza’s gaze fell next upon her. She arched one blond brow, taking note of her hand on
Xander’s arm. “Miss Heywood. What a surprise to see you so far from the farm.”

Xander stiffened next to her. “It is Mrs. Colbourne now, Mrs. Parker. We are only recently
married so you must not have heard the news.”

Charlotte drew a deep breath, knowing it was futile to ignore Eliza. She would not be
satisfied until she made some effort to embarrass or disgrace her. But she was determined not
to allow the bitter woman to hurt her. “Mrs. Parker.”

Eliza ignored her greeting. “What a surprise, Mr. Colbourne,” she said, her disdain clearly
evident. “No wonder you did not mention your betrothed when we met only a few weeks
ago.”

Xander’s jaw tightened. “If you mean to imply that I had some reason to be ashamed of my
engagement, you are quite mistaken. I am, and always will be, my wife’s greatest admirer.”

Eliza tipped her head in a show of false confusion. “Was she not your governess, Mr.
Colbourne? And until very recently engaged to a farmer? I do seem to recall hearing some
news of that sort. How clever of her to make a more favorable match.” Eliza’s eyes narrowed
as they turned towards her. “Although I’d hardly expect anything less from you, Mrs.
Colbourne.”

The group as a whole stared at the woman, her rudeness and accusation astonishing in its
incomprehensible bitterness. Xander moved forward as though attempting to shield her from
Eliza’s contempt, his eyes burning.

“Oh, do be quiet, Eliza,” Mr. Crowe spoke before another word could be said, his tone one of
absolute contempt and exasperation. “Your bitterness is thoroughly unbecoming. For better or
worse, Sidney made his choices and you won him in the end. It’s not her fault he died so stop
taking your anger out on an innocent woman and her husband simply because they’re happy
and you’re not.”

With that, he drained his glass, touched his forehead in some sort of half-hearted salute and
turned heel, gliding away with the ease of a man who did not care one whit for anyone’s
opinion of him.

*****

After the disgusting display of jealousy and anger from Eliza Parker, Xander was all too
ready to return home. However, he would neither give Mrs. Parker the satisfaction of
believing she had run them out nor would he end Augusta’s evening so soon after they’d
arrived. He knew Charlotte would happily leave if he asked her to but he did not want to
disappoint his niece when she’d been looking forward to this night since learning that Samuel
and Susan had offered to bring her and Leo to London.

He could easily ignore the disdainful comments and judgemental whispers of people like
Mrs. Parker if they were only about himself. But listening to anyone deride Charlotte for the
circumstances of her birth, her previous role as a governess or her broken engagement filled
him with an anger he’d reserved only for the likes of his father and Francis Lennox.

He’d recognized more than a few faces from the days when he’d attended functions in
London with Lucy and had seen the raised eyebrows and poorly hidden gossiping behind
fans. He had no doubt that more than a few recalled the rumors of his wife’s dalliance with a
soldier while her new husband remained oblivious at his country estate. And now they were
all whispering about how he’d married his governess, reminding him once more why he
despised the ton . He knew Charlotte would happily leave if he asked her to but he did not
want to disappoint his niece when she’d been looking forward to this night since learning that
Samuel and Susan had offered to bring her and Leo to London.

Realizing he had not seen Augusta for some time, he searched the dance floor for the familiar
figure, finally locating her dancing with a sandy-haired young gentleman. Frowning, he
looked towards his wife. “Charlotte? Who is that dancing with Augusta? Why were we not
introduced?”

She turned her attention in the direction of his gaze and rolled her eyes at him. “You were
introduced to him. Little more than a week ago.” He gave her a quizzical look. “At our
wedding. That is Mr. Pryce’s great nephew, Mr. Webb.” She gave him a firm look that clearly
indicated he was to behave himself. “He has already met both of us and it is very nice of him
to ask Augusta to dance since she knows no one but our own party.”

“I have learned my lesson,” he reassured her. “I promise I will not embarrass Augusta.” He
looked back at the pair, trying to place the sandy haired young man. “You’re certain I met
him? I don’t recall.”

The look she gave him was one of amused tolerance. “Do you recall much of our wedding
day?”

He shrugged. “I remember how beautiful you were.” She smiled at his flattery. “And I
remember the hours after the wedding breakfast very well.”

Her cheeks reddened. “How is it possible that you are the same man who could barely hold a
conversation with me all those months ago? And now you are intentionally making me blush
in front of all of London Society.”

“I only promised not to embarrass Augusta.”

“Oh, you!” She leaned into him, struggling to keep a straight face and pinching his arm
through his coat.
He desperately wanted to kiss her but such an act would most definitely send the whispers
flying. However, if she continued to look at him in that manner, he did not know if he could
be held responsible for his actions as a result.

“Is my brother being a bother, Charlotte?” Samuel asked, interrupting them. “Your face is
quite the lovely shade of pink all of a sudden.”

“He is being surprisingly bold this evening. Although I fear nothing he says would shock you
, Samuel,” she replied cheekily.

“It shocks me that Xander would say anything bold at all,” Samuel waggled his eyebrows.
“Now then, my dearest Sister,” Samuel bowed dramatically. “Allow me to rescue you from
my uncharacteristically audacious brother by offering you the next dance.”

Charlotte laughed and squeezed his hand before accepting Samuel’s arm. Xander watched
them walking away, his arm feeling oddly light without her hand there.

“Uncle.”

He turned to see Augusta clutching the arm of young Mr. Webb as he helped her walk, a
painful grimace marring her countenance. He rushed towards them. “Augusta, what
happened?”

“I’ve twisted my ankle, Uncle.” She winced with pain. “I’m afraid I can’t stand, much less
dance.”

“I am sorry, Mr. Colbourne,” Mr. Webb said anxiously, clearly concerned. Although Xander
could not tell if his concern was for Augusta or stemmed from a fear that her uncle would be
angry with him. “I don’t know what happened.”

“It was my fault,” Augusta argued. “I do not know the steps to that dance well enough and
took a wrong turn.”

“It is quite alright, Mr. Webb.” The words were meant to reassure himself as much as
Augusta’s dancing partner. “These things do happen, especially when there are so many
dancing at once.”

“I have explained as much, Uncle, but Mr. Webb does not wish to listen, preferring to take all
the blame upon himself.”

Although Xander knew all too well that his niece’s tone was meant to be more teasing than to
express any actual exasperation, he also knew that not everyone understood her manner of
speaking as well as her family did. A glance at Mr. Webb, however, showed that he had not
been cowed by Augusta’s sharp tongue just yet. He glanced towards where Charlotte was
dancing with Samuel. “Come, I’ll take you home.”

“Oh no, I don’t want everyone to leave on my account, Uncle.” Augusta protested. “I can sit
off to the side and watch. It will be fine.”
“I’ll merely take you home and return for Charlotte,” he assured his niece gently. “It will be
better for you to rest your ankle at home where you can be comfortable. I assure you, no
one’s night will be ruined. I’m just sorry you’re hurt and can’t enjoy it yourself.”

“It’s fine,” she sighed. “I did enjoy the dancing before I injured my ankle and Leo will be
anxiously waiting to hear all about it when I get home.”

Xander grinned, knowing she was likely correct. He spied Susan talking to a couple nearby.
“Let me just tell Susan where we’ve gone since Charlotte and Samuel are dancing. I’ll be
right back with your wrap.”

Leaving Augusta with the attentive Mr. Webb, he quickly spoke with Susan, explaining the
situation and reassuring her that there was no need for them all to leave when the house was
not far and he could quickly escort Augusta home and return. He then helped his niece
outside to the waiting carriage. An odd chill ran down his back as the carriage pulled away
but he pushed it aside, admonishing himself for being ridiculous. Charlotte was not alone and
knew well enough how to handle herself. He would be back before she even had a chance to
miss him.

“I am sorry to make you leave, Uncle,” Augusta apologized once more as the carriage turned
off of King Street.

“You don’t need to apologize, Augusta. I’m only sorry you were injured and aren’t able to
stay.”

“It’s fine,” she reassured him. “I did have a pleasant time despite the way it ended. I even saw
a few of my friends from when I used to live in London. It was nice to see them again but it
also made me realize how much I’ve changed since I last saw them.”

“How do you mean?”

A slight frown furrowed her brow. “They only seemed concerned with finding handsome and
wealthy husbands. Not once did any of them mention wanting a husband who shared
common interests with them, who loved them for who they are. They giggled every time a
handsome young gentleman so much as looked in their direction. There was a time I would
have done the same but now I cannot imagine finding it acceptable to marry a man simply
because of his appearance, manners, wealth or status.”

Xander bit back a smile. Augusta’s words reminded him of another strong-willed woman
who was unafraid to voice her opinions. “It seems you’ve learned a great deal about what you
want from a marriage one day. I would even hazard a guess that your opinion has been rather
influenced by Charlotte.”

Pale moonlight illuminated her broad smile. “I would say it has been influenced by both my
new aunt and my uncle. How can I possibly ever accept a marriage that is anything less than
that of those of my parents and you and Aunt Charlotte? A marriage of like-minded
individuals who complement each other's strengths and weaknesses and love one another so
unconditionally? I’m afraid you and Aunt Charlotte have set a standard that I will never be
able to obtain myself.”
“Charlotte and I are lucky indeed,” he agreed. “Or, I should say that I am lucky to have
Charlotte. I still believe that I am not truly worthy of her and I doubt that will ever change.
But not all marriages are love matches. I would much rather you are confident in your love
for a man, and his love for you, before you commit yourself to marriage. You do not even
have to marry if you do not wish to do so. I hope you know that you will always have a home
with us.”

“I do, Uncle. It’s hard to believe that I used to want nothing more than to leave Heyrick Park.
Now I can’t imagine leaving.”

Only six months ago, he could never have imagined those words leaving Augusta’s lips. “It
was all Charlotte’s doing.”

“I thought so at first as well. But really it was all of us,” she countered. “After all, one person
cannot make a family alone.”

*****

Charlotte could not help but feel the eyes of the room upon her as she and Samuel left the
dance floor. She had seen numerous glances their way as they’d danced but Samuel’s witty
commentary had kept her distracted. Now, as they walked towards the other room where
they’d left Xander and Susan, she couldn’t miss the whispered comments and wondered if
Eliza Parker had walked amongst those gathered, spreading gossip in her wake.

“He married his governess.”

“I heard she’s a farmer’s daughter.”

“She broke off one engagement and became engaged to him almost immediately.”

Samuel leaned closer. “Ignore them, Charlotte. I do.”

She managed a small smile of appreciation. Certainly, Samuel and Susan were no stranger to
Society gossip. “I do not care for my sake, Sam. I only worry about how it might affect
Augusta and even Leo someday. They don’t deserve to be the subject of unwarranted gossip
by association.”

“Augusta and Leo are fierce young women,” Samuel reminded her. “They will not bow to
Society gossip.”

Charlotte scanned the room, looking for her husband and niece. “Speaking of Augusta, where
is she?”

Samuel shook his head. “I haven’t seen her for a while. Perhaps she’s with Susan or Xander.”

They quickly spotted Susan who appeared relieved to see them. “Charlotte, Augusta has
twisted her ankle and Alexander has taken her home. He will return as soon as she’s settled.”

Charlotte felt only disappointment for Augusta, knowing she’d been looking forward to the
ball for weeks. But she felt oddly unsettled that Xander had left her. Even knowing he was
coming back, it was as though her equilibrium had been thrown off balance. She brushed the
feeling aside, telling herself she was being silly. Clearly, their isolation at Heyrick Park had
connected them at a level she hadn’t anticipated if being away from him for even an hour was
so disconcerting.

“Charlotte, will you be alright if I take Susan for a dance?” Samuel asked, his eyes
questioning.

“Of course,” she insisted, appreciating his concern. “Please go. I’m sure Xander will be back
soon. Lord and Lady Babington are just across the room and there’s always Mr. Crowe if I
need protection from anyone,” she laughed, waving them away.

They walked towards the dancing and Charlotte smiled at their shared looks of love for each
other, knowing that she and Xander must look much the same together. Samuel was right.
There was no reason for her to lend any credence to the gossipers. All that mattered was their
happiness.

“Miss Heywood, what a surprise to find you in London.”

Charlotte felt a chill run down her back at the sound of the familiar voice, one she’d no desire
to ever hear from again. Her stomach knotted in anger. How dare he deign to speak to her
again after their last encounter? She glanced around her quickly. There were far too many
people within earshot to share her true feelings with the man, risking a confrontation. She
would not do that to her family. Schooling her features as best she could, she turned to face
him.

“Colonel Lennox. I am just as surprised as you are. I thought your regiment had been
dispatched to India.” She tried to keep her voice and expression as passive as possible but it
was a struggle when her thoughts were spinning back to the last time she’d seen him at the
ball in Sanditon on the night he had proposed. The night he had forced an unwelcome kiss on
her and touched her in a way unbefitting of a gentleman.

A brief look of annoyance shadowed his features. Whatever had kept him from going to India
with his regiment, it had not been by his choice. “An unexpected change of orders,” he said
dismissively, his eyes boring into her.

Her stomach began to churn and she bit her lip, desperately willing it to stop. She did not
want this man to have any power over her or her family. “How convenient for you. And you
were able to obtain a voucher?”

“When one has been as successful in the face of battle as I have been, Miss Heywood, one is
sure to gain influential friendships.” He inched closer. “I had heard you left Sanditon and
returned home. Yet now I find you in London. I must commend you. Your small village and
Sanditon would never have satisfied a woman such as yourself. A woman with such an
adventurous spirit. You should not be restricted to places where you cannot spread your
wings.”

“I am visiting family in London for a short time,” she replied quickly, scanning the room for
any sign of her brother and sister-in-law. “I am happy to now call Sanditon my home.” She
was certain that Lord or Lady Babington, or even Mr. Crowe, would come to her assistance if
she conveyed her need sufficiently but none were in sight. Desperately, she wondered if
enough time had passed for Xander to return after escorting Augusta back to the house.

His eyes narrowed slightly, as though he was becoming suspicious that she was hiding
something. “And the gentleman you were just dancing with?”

She glanced again towards the dance floor. That he had been watching her without her
knowledge sickened her even more. Of course, he would have no way of knowing who
Samuel was. Her fingers reached for the ring on her left hand but it was covered by her
gloves. “My brother-in-law.”

He seemed pleased by her response, oblivious to the fact that Samuel was her husband’s
brother, not a man who’d married one of her sisters. “You did not return to your family’s farm
after all then? I suppose that’s something at least.” He took two glasses of champagne from a
passing footman, pressing one into her hand before she could protest. “Am I to assume you
ended your employment with Mr. Colbourne as well? I can’t imagine he’d let his governess
attend a ball in London of all places.”

“I’m no longer employed by Mr. Colbourne.” She couldn’t say exactly why she didn’t simply
tell him the truth. Perhaps it was because it was simply none of his concern or perhaps it was
because she was afraid of what his reaction would be if she told him. She would not put it
past the man to cause a scene, spewing more lies about Xander in front of everyone.

“I’m happy to hear it,” he said smugly. “Perhaps while you are in London, you might permit
me to make amends for our last conversation. I fear you misunderstood my words.”

She blinked in surprise. Did he honestly believe that she had any interest in hearing his
fabricated explanation of his actions? “I hardly think that would be prudent, Colonel. I
believe we should just go our separate ways, never to speak of it again.”

“Now, I insist that you allow me to explain and apologize, Miss Heywood,” he inched closer.
“I would not be able to live with myself if you did not forgive me,” he placed his hand on her
arm.

The memory of his hand gripping her arm in anger all those months ago slammed into her
and she took a step back, only to find her back pressed against a column. Outrage and panic
tangled inside her. Before she could formulate a response, she saw him over Lennox’s
shoulder, walking towards them with a stormy look on his face.

*****

Xander made his way through the crowded ballroom, his eyes darting back and forth looking
for Charlotte. He’d seen Samuel and Susan dancing which meant Charlotte would be alone,
left to fend off the gossip mongers by herself unless she’d rejoined her other acquaintances.
Before him, his eyes caught a glimpse of the silvery blue fabric of her dress behind the vivid
red coat of a soldier, his back to him. Xander’s eyes narrowed as he wove through the crowd,
drawing closer. Suspicion rapidly turned to a burning in the pit of his stomach and a roaring
in his ears as he recognized the man he could now see was looming over his wife, his hand
reaching out to brush her arm.

Charlotte’s eyes met his past Lennox’s shoulder. The desperation and relief he saw made his
heart clench and his hands curl into fists. By nature, he was not a violent man, but the urge to
strike the man standing between him and his wife was nearly as great as the love he bore for
her. Still, she would not thank him for causing a scene in front of all of London Society and
he could already feel eyes upon them. No doubt more than a few of those around them
recollected the handsome young captain who had frequently been seen in the company of the
newly wed Mrs. Colbourne all those years ago.

For years, he had wished to confront the man who had seduced Lucy. He had imagined
dozens of scenarios with hundreds of variations of what he would say and do if he ever saw
him again. Yet when he’d come face to face with him at Lady Denham’s garden party, and
again at the militia camp, all thought had rushed from his mind and he’d allowed his
emotions to overrule his good sense. He had behaved shamefully both times, nearly losing
Charlotte as a result. His life had changed drastically since that day and he would no longer
allow the man to get the better of him. His love for Charlotte, and her overwhelming love for
him in return, surrounded him like a wall that Lennox could no longer breach.

Steeling himself, he drew a deep breath. “I’ll thank you to keep your hands off my wife.”

Lennox startled at the sound of his voice, turning quickly. He looked Xander up and down,
his surprise clearly apparent on his face. But he recovered quickly, narrowing his eyes as his
mouth turned up in a haughty smirk. “Your wife, Mr. Colbourne? Well that is a surprise.” He
turned his attention back to Charlotte. “I didn’t have you pegged as a woman who would
marry for money, Miss Heywood. Clearly, you didn’t heed my warnings…to your own
detriment.”

Charlotte’s eyes flashed with a ferocity he’d rarely seen from her before. “I don’t suppose a
man with your limited capacity could even fathom the type of man I would choose to marry.
One of integrity, intelligence, compassion, loyalty, and kindness. My husband far exceeds
you in all things that I hold dear in a life’s companion, Colonel. I did not marry him for his
wealth. I married him because I love him. And every day he shows me in ways you could
never comprehend just how lucky I am to have such a man as my husband.”

A surge of pride swelled through Xander’s chest as he looked at his wife. When she met his
eyes, he saw only the love and affection she graced him with each and every day. The anger
he’d felt upon seeing Lennox again slowly dissipated. The man did not deserve their anger
any longer. He simply wasn’t worth it.

His eyes locked on the colonel’s as he reached out, extending his hand to her. “Mrs.
Colbourne, I believe I owe you a dance.”

“I believe you do, Mr. Colbourne,” she thrust the glass of champagne in her hand at the
colonel. Grasping his hand tightly with hers, she walked past Lennox without another look.

Xander leaned closer so no one else could hear. “Aren’t you going to congratulate us,
Colonel?” His chilly tone conveyed that he would brook no further interference in his life
 from the man. “I believe in the case of this particular battle, I claim victory. And I promise
you this, if you ever come near my wife again, I will not rest until your career and life as you
know it are utterly destroyed.”

Ignoring the seething look on Lennox’s face, he tucked Charlotte’s hand into the crook of his
arm and escorted her to the dance floor. He felt as though an enormous weight had lifted off
his shoulders, freeing him of the chains that had bound him for nearly a decade. For too many
years he’d allowed his hatred of the colonel to fester inside him along with his guilt over
Lucy’s death. But now he was finally free of him once and for all.

“Do you feel vindicated?” he asked, placing his hand on her lower back as they took their
places.

Charlotte grinned with a joy that lit her entire countenance. “I do! That felt wonderful,
Xander!”

“You were wonderful,” he insisted with pride. “I am quite impressed, Mrs. Colbourne.”

“And I’m quite impressed that you didn’t punch him in the mouth, even though he more than
deserved it. I might have done so myself if you hadn’t returned when you did.”

Xander laughed. “I may have actually enjoyed seeing that,” he admitted. “But believe me, it
took the utmost restraint I am capable of not to strike him.” Their bodies moved with the
steps of the dance, their eyes fixed only each other. “I knew you would not wish for me to
cause a scene, despite how good it would have felt to punch the man in any part of his
anatomy.”

“Well, I admire your restraint, my dearest husband.” Charlotte grinned. “I do recall that same
restraint having been sorely tested during our engagement so I am quite familiar with it.”

Xander’s eyes narrowed at her teasing. “Every day is a day of great restraint with you, my
love.” He leaned closer, his lips close to her ear. “I cannot guarantee my restraint will still be
in my possession when we get home, however.”

She blushed prettily. “You do realize it’s considered the worst manners for you to be dancing
with your own wife.”

He shrugged. “I do not care what the ton thinks any more than I care what the colonel thinks.
They are already talking about us, we might as well give them something to actually talk
about.”

“Well then, Mr. Colbourne,” Charlotte laughed, “lead on!”

Chapter End Notes

I haven't watched S1 for a really long time and freely admit I'm not in tune with the
voices of those characters at all. I hope I gave a decent accounting of Babbers and
Crowe because I love them both. I wrote the Lennox portion of this chapter months ago
but Mr. Crowe came out of nowhere and decided to throw his hat into the ring just last
week before I split the chapters. If you wished for Xander to punch Lennox, I suggest
you read the alternate chapter 3 of "A Summer's Ball", "Fool for Love" by
peasemealBrose. It's wonderful and I couldn't write it better even if I wanted to attempt
to. Is something going to come of Augusta and Mr. Webb? I honestly have no idea. He
initially formed as an explanation of the man Augusta was speaking to at the wedding
and was convenient as someone she would have already known and thus had approval to
dance with.

Sound off in the comments!

 True Loving Brethren
Chapter Summary

A very late, somewhat Christmasy Christmas chapter.

Chapter Notes

Although it didn't start out that way, this is an entirely Charlotte POV chapter. It ended
up feeling appropriate.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

True Loving Brethren

Two days after their return to Heyrick Park, Charlotte, Augusta and Mrs. Wheatley took the
carriage into town to do some Christmas shopping. Charlotte and Xander had purchased a
number of gifts in London but there were still the gifts for the staff to purchase, as well as
items for the annual Christmas baskets that would be handed out to the tenants and items that
they would contribute to the Christmas boxes that would be given to those families in need
by Reverend Hankins and his sister. Much of the food that would make up the tenant baskets
would come from Heyrick Farms and their own greenhouses but other items, such as candy
and small toys for the children and fabric for new clothes, would come from the shops in
town.

Charlotte reviewed the long list in her hand once more. “I don’t know what we’d do without
you, Mrs. Wheatley. I wouldn’t have even known where to begin but you’ve written out the
names of every family and even the ages of the children.”

“I’ve years of experience, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mrs. Wheatley said. “But much of the
information comes from Mr. Colbourne himself. He knows every single family…their wives,
their children and their ages. It has always been important to him that the tenants have
enough to celebrate the holiday and that each child would have a gift, no matter how hard the
year might have been for their parents. He always says that there’s no point in having
everything you could ever want if you don’t share your riches with those who can’t afford
what they need.”

She shook her head in wonder. Yet another reminder of how her husband was so much more
than she had first thought.
“I did tell you,” Mrs. Wheatley gave her a pointed look.

“That you did, Mrs. Wheatley. And you were right, of course.”

“Charlotte!”

“Mary!” She took her friend’s hand. “It’s so lovely to see you! I can hardly believe we
haven’t seen one another since the wedding.Thank you again for inviting Leo to visit
yesterday. She had so much fun playing with the children. I believe she missed them while
we were in London.”

“It is wonderful to see you as well,” Mary’s words were rushed. “And you must come for tea
soon. The children had a wonderful time with Leo but I must tell you that Henry woke this
morning feeling ill. I’m certain Alicia and Jenny will follow soon enough as they always do.
If it’s not one child, it’s another. I hope that Leo does not get sick as well.”

“Oh dear,” Charlotte exclaimed. She had come to view the Parker children as family over the
months she’d spent living with their household. “Is it serious?”

“He doesn’t have a true fever,” Mary reassured them. “He has only been a little warm but he
has a sore throat and his head aches. I’m sorry to have to rush off but we’re expecting Dr.
Fuchs.”

“Of course, Mary. Do not let us detain you. And please send Henry our best wishes.”

Charlotte and Mrs. Wheatley exchanged a worried look as Mary hurried off down the street.
It was never a good time for anyone to get sick but with only a week and half until Christmas
and Samuel and Susan due to arrive from London, the timing could not be much worse.

*****

“Why aren’t you eating, Leo?” Xander asked, drawing Charlotte’s attention to their daughter.

Leo poked at the food on her plate. “I don’t feel much like eating. My throat is itchy and my
head hurts.”

Charlotte placed a hand on her forehead. “Hmm, I don’t think you have a fever. But Mary did
say that Henry was ill when we saw her in town yesterday.”

He frowned. “Let’s get you to bed, Leo. I’m sure you’ll feel better once you’ve had some
rest.”

Charlotte set her serviette on the table. “I’ll take her up.”

“I’ll take her, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mrs. Wheatley stepped forward. “You finish your dinner.”

“I’ll come check on you once you’re settled, Leo,” Charlotte assured her as Mrs. Wheatley
wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her from the room.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Charlotte,” he reached for her hand. “Mrs. Wheatley has cared for
more illnesses in her time here than I can count.”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “I have every faith in Mrs. Wheatley’s abilities. But I have
never been a mother before and I cannot help but worry.”

*****

She spent most of the following day tending to Leo. When she wasn’t sleeping, Charlotte sat
by her side, reading from her favorite books and making up stories and games she could play
in bed without tiring her too much. They were all greatly relieved when Dr. Fuchs declared
that the illness appeared to be nothing more than a bad cold, but to call upon him if Leo’s
symptoms grew worse.

It was late when Xander entered Leo’s bedroom and the little girl had been asleep for some
time. He looked as tired as she felt, shadows under his eyes. “Charlotte,” he whispered softly,
his hand settling on her shoulder. “Come to bed. You need to sleep as well.”

Reluctantly she left their daughter’s room, allowing him to gently guide her into their own.
With a sigh she began to undo her hair.

He watched her with a concerned expression. “Mrs. Wheatley said you haven’t left Leo’s side
all day, even when she or Augusta offered to relieve you so you could rest or see to other
matters.”

“I couldn’t bear to leave her,” she admitted as she braided her hair. “It pains me to see her
feeling so poorly. I worry about her.”

“What is it?” he asked as he reached for the fastenings on the back of her dress. “Has her
condition worsened? Dr. Fuchs did not seem overly concerned when I spoke to him.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I do not know if I can explain what I’m feeling.” He remained
silent as he finished with her dress and began loosening her stays, allowing her time to try to
formulate the words she needed. “I have lived through my fair share of colds, and I do not
mean to make light, for it is a bad cold at that. But as miserable as she is, I am confident it is
only a cold. And I have cared for my siblings countless times when they were sick. But I have
never felt such concern as I do for Leo. My heart is telling me I must be at her side at all
times in case she needs me but my head is telling me that I am overreacting, that she would
be perfectly fine in the care of others.”

He turned her around to face him. “Perhaps it is because, for the first time in your life, you
are looking through the eyes of a mother.”

She ruminated on his words as she removed her chemise and donned her nightgown before
slipping beneath the sheets into bed. She was still considering the matter as he blew out the
last candle and settled next to her. “Did you feel like a father when Leo was first born, or did
it take some time?”
He moved closer, nudging her to roll onto her side so he could pull her back against his chest
and wrap his arms around her. Early on, she had learned that he preferred to lay in such a way
when they spoke of more serious matters rather than laying face to face as they did when they
were quietly teasing each other or discussing the events of the day. She recalled their
conversation about Sidney and wondered if it made him feel less vulnerable to not have her
watching him when he discussed such things. She listened to the soft intake and exhalation of
air through his nose as he pondered her question.

When he finally spoke, his voice was little more than a whisper. “Before she was born, I told
myself that there was no possible way I would ever be able to feel as though Leo was my
own. It seemed inevitable that the anger and pain I felt towards Lucy would also fall onto her
child and I did not think myself capable of setting it aside. I’m ashamed to admit that I
refused to see her at first after she was born, though Mrs. Wheatley did try to talk me into it
more than once.

“The morning after Lucy died, I was wracked with guilt and grief. I was sitting in the study
and Mrs. Wheatley brought Leo to me. Before I could refuse, she laid her in my arms and left
me alone with her. At first I didn’t know what to do but then I found myself just watching her
sleep. She was so innocent and pure and when she opened her eyes and looked at me, I just
knew she was mine. I may not have always been the father she deserved but I never thought
of her as anything less than my daughter after that.”

“I never had a moment like that with Leo,” she said. “There was never a time where I felt
something inside me change from loving her as a child I was the governess for and loving her
because she became my daughter.” She slipped her hand over his, lacing their fingers
together. “I’m really quite new at this and, at times, I don’t feel adequately prepared.”

His lips curved into a smile against her neck. “I disagree. I would venture to say that you
have been acting as a mother to Leo from the moment you first met, protecting and loving her
even then. Wouldn’t a mother risk her own life to save that of a child? Or chastise a father for
not doing a better job of caring for his children? You didn’t know it at the time, but you were
already acting like her mother. And I could not ask for a better mother for my children,
Charlotte.”

*****

She woke in the middle of the night, unsure as to the hour but knowing it was far too early to
be awake. Blinking, she was just able to make out Xander’s form in the darkness, sitting on
the side of the bed.

Reaching out, she pressed her hand against his back. “Xander? What is it?”

He looked at her over his shoulder. “Go back to sleep,” he said, his voice raspy. “I’m going to
bed in the other room.”

Alarmed, she pushed herself up. “What’s wrong?”

He stood slowly and reached for his banyan. “My throat hurts and my head is throbbing. I
don’t want to disturb your rest and it’s probably best if we don’t share the same bed for now.”
“I can make you some tea for your throat and give you a draught for the pain,” she threw
aside the coverlet, already anxious to help him feel better in any way she could.

“No, Charlotte,” he argued weakly. “There’s no need for you to lose sleep, not after you were
up late with Leo.”

She was already reaching for her dressing gown. “Let me help, Xander. I won’t be able to
sleep from worry anyway.”

It spoke to just how poorly he felt that he put up no further protest, making his way into the
master bedroom and allowing her to pull back the coverlet for him. Once he was in bed, she
checked on Leo before making her way down to the kitchen. She was pleased to find the
bottle of saline draught and the makings of the soothing tea were laid out on the large work
table, as though Mrs. Wheatley had anticipated such a need in the middle of the night. Her
worry now compounded, she could only hope that Xander would be the last to fall ill.

*****

By the following morning it was clear that her wish had gone unanswered when both Samuel
and Augusta woke with the familiar symptoms. Leo and Xander were now emitting deep,
barking coughs that made sleeping through the night impossible. Another message was
dispatched to Dr. Fuchs, asking him to come to Heyrick Park as soon as he was able but
Charlotte suspected he was busy with more than just their family. If the illness was already
within the walls of Heyrick Park, it was likely in many more Sanditon homes. The coughing
was concerning but she was still optimistic that the disease was not so serious that she needed
to be concerned about anyone’s life. She’d seen far worse while helping her mother nurse her
own siblings and neighbors.

When she entered the master bedroom with a tray for her husband, she found him just waking
up, despite the late hour. Setting the tray next to the bed, she examined him closely. The dark
shadows under his eyes spoke to how little he’d slept but no sweat beaded upon his brow and
his pale countenance carried no flush of fever. “How do you feel?”

“Horrible.” Even the sound of his voice was painful to hear.

“As well as you look then,” she teased as she brushed the hair from his brow and pressed her
hand against his cheek. He felt warm but not overly so. “You don’t seem to have a fever
which is a good sign. I’ve brought you more tea and you should take another draught for the
pain in your head. There’s also beef tea if you feel you can manage it.”

He grimaced. “I abhor beef tea.”

She shrugged. “I can make you a posset if you prefer. Or there’s always jelly.”

He shuddered and a single curl fell once more across his forehead. “No, thank you, I’ll take
the beef tea.”

“That’s what I thought,” she laughed and helped him sit, propping him up with pillows into a
reclined position.
“How is Leo?”

She handed him the tea. “Much the same as you still. She’s sleeping a great deal which is for
the best.” She pursed her lips. “Samuel and Augusta also took ill in the night.”

His eyes grew even more concerned. “Send as many of the staff away as you can before more
get sick.”

She nodded. “Mrs. Wheatley has already sent those we can afford to lose home and advised
the ones that live in the house to stay away from your rooms. I know it’s silly to tell you not
to worry since you will do so anyway but we have everything in hand. Dr. Fuchs will come
again this morning to look in on you and Leo and I will have him check on Augusta and
Samuel as well.”

He looked at her hopefully. “I don’t suppose there’s a chance that you would listen if I asked
you to stay away, would you?”

It was not difficult to imagine why he would consider asking her to do such a thing. She
brushed that errant curl off his brow once more. “None at all.”

*****

Charlotte brushed the hair from her face and lifted the heavy tray with some difficulty, the
cups rattling against each other. She gave Cora a tired smile as she passed the young maid
carrying a pile of dirty sheets in her hands. The girl had been working tirelessly and, as far as
she was concerned, deserved an entire week off when this was all over.

Reaching the first floor, she placed the tray on a table that had been moved into the hall and
began pouring tea into the cups to be dispensed along with bowls of beef tea to the sick, their
sore throats unable to manage anything more difficult to swallow.

Susan entered the hall, closing the door behind her and wiping the back of her hand across
her brow. To make things easier, they had moved Samuel into his childhood bedroom and
Leo into the master bedroom with her father. When Samuel had fallen ill, Susan had
immediately stepped forward to take care of her husband. Now, she looked as tired and
disheveled as Charlotte was. With her sleeves rolled up, her long hair in a simple braid and
shadows under her eyes, London Society would hardly have recognized her as the elegant
former Lady de Clemente.

“I have never heard a man complain more in my life. You’d think he was the first to ever get
sick in the history of mankind.”

Charlotte chuckled, shaking her head. It must be a Colbourne trait for Xander’s mood had
only grown more irritable with each passing day. Once they had passed the early stages
where all they wanted to do was sleep, complaining that they were miserable and tired of
being stuck in bed seemed to have become their usual attitude. “I suppose it’s a sign of
recovery, at least.”
“I think I preferred when he slept most of the day,” Susan rolled her eyes as she took up a cup
of tea, heavily dosed with honey, and a bowl of broth. “I’ll get Augusta next.”

Charlotte nodded. “I’ll see to Xander and Leo after Mrs. Wheatley.”

The housekeeper had succumbed to the same symptoms as the others just the day before.
Charlotte suspected she had known she was sick for a day before she could no longer hide
that she wasn’t feeling well. She had insisted that Mrs. Wheatley move to the bed in the
unoccupied nursery in order to have her closer at hand along with the rest of the sick. It was
far easier on her and Susan to manage everyone in a smaller area of the large house and her
room on the ground floor would have only made it more difficult. She’d protested of course,
but could not fight the logic of such a move when pressed by the new mistress of the estate.

Mrs. Wheatley lay quietly on the small bed in the nursemaid’s room attached to the nursery.
She hadn’t made a single complaint, weathering her illness with her usual stoic demeanor.
But Charlotte was still concerned about the older woman, watching her closely for any signs
that she was taking a turn for the worse. “I’ve brought you tea and broth, Mrs. Wheatley.”
She placed the cup and bowl on the small bedside table before moving to straighten the
coverlet. “You’re looking a little better this afternoon.”

“You look done in, Mrs. Colbourne.”

Charlotte smiled as she patted the coverlet. “There’s no need to worry about me. I’m well
enough.”

Mrs. Wheatley grasped her hand, her expression fiercely insistent. “You must rest yourself,
Mrs. Colbourne. You mustn't overdo things or you’ll find yourself sick in bed soon enough.
You know as well as I do that even a cold can worsen under the wrong circumstances.”

Charlotte squeezed the older woman’s hand. “I promise I will rest soon, Mrs. Wheatley.”

Leaving the room, she took up the tray and carried it into the master bedroom where Leo had
made a nest of blankets on the bed next to her father. She appeared to be regaling him with an
intricate explanation of some battle, her toy soldiers spread across the blankets which had
been bunched up to create a rugged terrain. “Time to set aside your soldiers, Leo. I’ve
brought you tea and toast.”

“Thank you, Mama,” the little girl smiled, her eyes bright. She looked much better than she
had the day before. She hoped it was an indication that the others would soon feel better as
well.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she handed her a cup of tea.

“Better. My throat doesn’t hurt at all anymore and I haven’t been coughing nearly as much.”

Charlotte ran her hand over Leo’s blond hair. “I’m so happy to hear it. Perhaps you can read
to your Papa after you finish your lunch. I’m sure he’d like that.”
From the other side of the bed, Xander managed to give his daughter a tired smile. “That
would be nice, Leo. But don’t get upset with me if I fall asleep while you’re reading. I’m just
about ready for a nap.”

She suppressed a laugh. In his sickened state, and with Leo nearly recovered, he was likely
ready for a reprieve from his daughter’s return to her usual exuberant state. “Perhaps we can
see if Augusta or Uncle Samuel would like some company while your father naps.”

Moving around the bed, she handed her husband a cup before pressing the back of her hand
to his forehead. She was relieved that he did not feel any warmer than usual. “Are you feeling
any better?”

He shrugged. “A little. It no longer feels like I’m swallowing knives. How is everyone else?”

“Samuel is much the same as you. Recovering but frustrated with being in bed, even though
he still needs the rest. Augusta is sleeping a great deal, as is Mrs. Wheatley. The cough has
set in, making it more difficult for them to sleep through the night so they nap when they
can.”

“And you and Susan?”

She managed a weak smile. “Tired. But you’re not to worry about us. Susan and I have iron
constitutions. Just focus on getting better.”

He tugged on her hand, pulling her closer. “Have I said how grateful I am that you consented
to marry me?”

A month married and still he made her blush. “Not today, my love. But ask me again
tomorrow.”

*****

“What are we going to do about Christmas?” Susan asked as they sat together in the kitchen
after another long day of caring for the needs of their family.

They had spent hours changing sheets, adding wood to the fires, fetching pillows and books,
and providing a seemingly never-ending supply of tea and medicines. Their backs and feet
ached and they both needed baths and a good night's sleep but at the moment, neither could
muster the necessary strength to stand and climb the stairs.

Charlotte sighed loudly. “Mrs. Purvis will have to alter her plans for dinner to something
more suitable for those recovering from illness. I’m afraid there wouldn’t be much
appreciation for a traditional Christmas dinner and that it would be far too rich for stomachs
that haven’t eaten any real food in days. I’ve gifts for the family set aside, although I’m afraid
nothing is wrapped as it should be and there are no decorations in the house to make it feel
like Christmas.”

In fact, there was nothing in the house that spoke of the festive season at all. No evergreen
wreaths interwoven with holly or ivy, no kissing balls or boughs of mistletoe like she was
accustomed to back in Willingden. They had planned on gathering the greenery from the
estate as a family once Samuel and Susan arrived, but there had simply been no time. But she
suspected that Christmas decorations had not existed in Heyrick Park for many years anyway.
The Xander she’d met the prior spring was not likely to have put much effort into decorating
for Christmas when he could barely manage eating a meal in the same room with his
daughter and niece.

Disappointment broke over her like a wave. She had wanted their first Christmas together to
be special, one they would always remember. Her own memories of Christmas in Willingden
were some of her most treasured. It had not mattered that there was little enough money for
gifts for them all or an extravagant meal. Her parents had done their best with what they did
have, showering their children with love and impressing upon them the need to help those
whose needs were greater than their own. It had only mattered that they were all healthy,
happy and spending the day together.

A horrible recollection struck her and she sat upright. “Susan! The Christmas baskets!”

Susan blinked at her from across the table. “Baskets?”

“For the tenants,” she explained quickly. “Xander has given them each year. Some of the
families may even rely on the food they contain for their own Christmas dinners. We cannot
let the families go without if they are expecting to receive a basket. We even purchased small
gifts and candy for the children. And there are items for the needy in town as well that must
be delivered to Miss Hankins.”

“What are we to do? Surely there’s no time to prepare such gifts now. Tomorrow is Christmas
Eve!”

Charlotte shook her head, a plan already formulating in her mind. “Augusta, Mrs. Wheatley
and I did the shopping before Leo fell ill. We should have nearly everything we need and I’m
sure we can scrape together anything else they may still need from the stores here. Mrs.
Wheatley will be able to recommend items that would be best. We only need to put together
the baskets and deliver them.”

Susan’s eyes widened as she blew out an extended breath of air at the thought of taking on
yet another task when their plates were already so full. “If we have the means, then we should
do what we are able. I would hate for any child to miss out on a gift for Christmas. But
Charlotte, who is going to deliver all of the baskets?”

*****

Christmas Eve morning dawned clear and crisp, a bite in the air and a shining silver coat of
frost on the frozen ground. There was little chance it would snow for Christmas but one could
never rule it out entirely. It felt almost strange to Charlotte to set foot outside, trapped indoors
as she’d been for the past week. The cold air was invigorating and she told herself it was a
sign that the task ahead of her would be easily accomplished.

She and Susan had been up late putting the baskets together. They’d leaned heavily on Mrs.
Wheatley’s list, ensuring each basket contained enough food and the appropriate number of
gifts and small bundles of hard candy for each child. At first, the task had seemed daunting
but they’d quickly established a rhythm and by the time they were finished, they’d collapsed
into chairs. They were exhausted but they were pleased with their efforts. Charlotte would
deliver the baskets the next day while Susan managed the sick on her own, enlisting Leo’s
help now that she was mostly recovered. When she was inevitably asked where Charlotte
was, Susan would tell Xander that she had gone into town for supplies and hope that he did
not suspect anything was amiss. She would not put it past him to saddle Hannibal and come
searching for her, even if he was sick.

Early the next morning, she enlisted the help of young Peter in delivering the baskets to the
tenants. Mr. Ellis had merely grinned when she’d asked permission to borrow the youth,
shaking his head that the mistress of the estate would believe he’d refuse anything she asked.
Together, father and son had hitched the horses to the wagon and loaded the baskets into the
bed for her, carefully placing those that would be needed last into the front of the wagon and
those for the houses they would visit first in the back. Peter was more than knowledgeable
about the various estate farms and which track led to which. When she complimented him, he
reminded her that he had grown up on the estate and it was very likely that he’d someday
manage the stables in place of his father. Until then, he drove the wagon with confidence to
the first tenancy on Charlotte’s list.

Arriving at the Bowles farm, Peter pulled the wagon to a stop and jumped down before
offering her his hand. She didn’t really require his assistance but it wouldn’t have looked
appropriate for the mistress of the estate to jump down from the wagon like a farm hand.
Within moments, he held a large basket and she turned towards the house just as the door
opened, revealing a large man and a petite woman with round, rosy cheeks with a baby in her
arms. Behind them, two boys appeared in the doorway, watching curiously while the front
window filled with a collection of inquisitive faces.

“Good morning,” she greeted the couple. “It’s Mr. and Mrs. Bowles, is it not?”

They exchanged a glance between them. “It is ma’am,” Mr. Bowles nodded. “And you are?”

“Oh, my apologies, I should have introduced myself first. I…well, I suppose I am the new
mistress of the estate, Mrs. Colbourne.”

Mr. Bowles’ cheeks reddened. “My apologies, ma’am,” he hastily touched the cap on his
head. “We did know Mr. Colbourne got married but we didn’t expect you to be showin’ up
here.”

“There’s no need to apologize, Mr. Bowles. I did show up unannounced. I’ve brought you a
basket, you see, for Christmas.” She indicated the basket in Peter’s arms.

Mrs. Bowles took a tentative step forward but made no effort to take the basket from her
arms. “That’s very kind of you, ma’am. Only, we heard there was sickness at the house.”

“There is,” Charlotte admitted, “but everyone is recovering well. And I assure you that Peter
and I are both quite healthy and we will not come into your home so there’s no need to
worry.” She had not considered that showing up on the doorsteps of the tenants unannounced
could raise some alarm amongst them. “We can just leave the basket here if you wish.”
“We’re not concerned, ma’am, not for ourselves anyway,” Mr. Bowles gave a hasty
reassurance, as he finally reached for the basket, a look of relief plainly on his face. “We only
wish well for the master and his family. He’s always been kind to us. But you should not be
worryin’ for us when you’ve sickness in your home.”

Charlotte smiled, looking again at the small faces pressed against the window. “I could not let
the day pass without giving our tenants our traditional Christmas baskets. My husband and I
would be remiss if we didn’t show our appreciation for all you do for the estate. He was very
disappointed that he could not be here to wish you all a happy Christmas himself but he’s not
yet fully recovered.”

“Please be sure to send him our best, Mrs. Colbourne, and our thanks as well.”

“I will indeed, Mr. Bowles.”

As the morning wore on, her pride in the estate grew. The past few years had been
particularly hard on farmers. But each farm appeared to be in good condition, the houses,
barns and sheds she saw were all well cared for without need of any obvious repairs. Her
reception was much the same at each new farm they visited. The families she met were all
healthy and happy as they welcomed her warmly and expressed genuine concern for her
family. There were excited squeals from the children when they realized that the expected
baskets with its highly prized treasures had finally arrived and the relief she saw in the eyes
of a few of their parents was justification enough for her efforts.

It was not difficult to imagine that those like her own family, with a great many mouths to
feed, were conscious of every penny spent and every ounce of food that was set on the table,
carefully balancing want with need each day. There was likely to be precious little extra for
Christmas gifts despite scrimping and saving throughout the year as there were always
unexpected expenses that took precedence. For those families, the baskets she delivered
would allow just a bit of breathing room for everyone to enjoy a day spent celebrating with
their family without worry that there was food enough on the table.

She knew Xander was known to be a benevolent landlord, taking less in rent than most men
in his position and always willing to help his tenants should they have need. It was a source
of great pride for her husband that his tenants had no complaints and felt that they were
treated fairly, if not generously by the master of the estate. But she also knew that the men
and women who worked the Colbourne lands were a proud lot who worked hard and did not
easily ask for help. As willing as Xander would be to help any one of them should they ask,
their pride would place such a request as a last resort.

The same pride that might be wounded by offers of charity, would not allow them to turn
down gifts of food and small toys and candy for their children in the spirit of Christmas from
the master of the estate…or his new wife. Thus, they took her baskets with sincere gratitude
and heartfelt thanks. Some offered gifts of their own and she accepted the pies, cakes and
jams with the same grace and appreciation.

By the time the last items had been delivered, Charlotte’s hands and feet were frozen from the
cold, every muscle ached and her stomach was growling from hunger, but her heart had never
felt so full.
 *****

When it came to their Christmas dinner, Charlotte and Mrs. Purvis had put their ingenuity to
the test. Their rather unconventional meal consisted mostly of foods that were meant to tempt
stomachs that had not consumed anything more than beef tea and toast in days. It was not a
feast by any means but at least the pudding had pleased them all, the custard slipping gently
down sore throats.

After dinner, Charlotte and Susan gathered everyone into the drawing room, ignoring protests
as they laid blankets over laps. Samuel made a particularly disapproving face when yet
another cup of tea was pressed into his hand instead of his requested glass of port. Even Mrs.
Wheatley had been wrapped in a shawl and forced into a chair, her weak protests brushed
aside with repeated reassurance that she was more family than staff and must join them in
their celebration, such as it was.

Leo, back to her normal self, bounced eagerly on the floor next to the fire, anxious for the
giving of gifts. What followed was a somewhat subdued but cheerful exchange as a myriad of
packages was opened, revealing new sheet music, jade hair combs, delicate bottles of
perfume, soft leather gloves, embroidered handkerchiefs, games, an intricate model ship with
real working sails and far too many books, if such a thing was even possible.

When all of the other gifts had been given, Charlotte and Susan excused themselves briefly,
reappearing with large cloth wrapped objects in their hands. They each presented one to their
husbands, taking delight in the surprised looks on their faces.

“What’s this?” Xander looked towards his brother.

Samuel shrugged. “I know as much as you. Susan wouldn’t tell me a thing when the crate
was packed onto the carriage.”

As one, the brothers removed the cloth covers that had been secured with twine and then
stilled, their eyes widening with surprise. Leo and Augusta jumped to their feet, scrambling
closer to look over their shoulders.

Although not overly large, the identical paintings were of good size and tastefully framed.
The expertly rendered depictions showed the late Julia Colbourne sitting perched on a chair,
her two young sons standing next to her. From the miniature, the artist had captured her
beauty and elegance, her brown eyes soft and kind. There was a gentleness about her that
tugged at something in Charlotte’s heart and she knew from Xander’s brief descriptions that
she would have loved to have known her husband’s mother.

Young Samuel, on the precipice of leaving his childhood behind, rested his hand on his
younger brother’s shoulder, a gesture of affection and protectiveness the artist had no doubt
felt appropriate given the subject matter. The dark haired boy stood tall and proud with a
defiant glint in his pale eyes. But the hint of a smile indicated any trouble he caused was all
in good fun. Charlotte could not help but smile at the boy, a kind-hearted scoundrel in the
making.
Her gaze drifted to her husband and she watched closely as Xander’s eyes wandered to his
own depiction. Despite the child’s age, the curly brown hair, rounded cheeks and soft brown
eyes were so effortlessly recognized as her husband that she would have known it was him
even if she had not been aware of the painting beforehand. Her heart swelled, for it was easy
to imagine their own children someday when she gazed upon his younger face.

Xander raised his eyes to her. “Charlotte? How?”

She knelt on the floor next to him. “I found miniatures of your mother and the two of you
inside her desk. Mrs. Wheatley said she hadn’t seen it since your mother passed away. I gave
it to Susan who found an artist in London.”

“The miniature was only of your faces,” Susan added, “so the artist took the liberty to paint
in the rest. He did an amazing job, in my opinion.”

“It’s wonderful,” Samuel grinned broadly and kissed his wife’s hand. “Thank you both. I
vaguely remember sitting for a miniature. It was a year or two before she passed. Do you
remember, Xander?”

Xander’s eyes had taken on a hard, faraway look at the mention of the miniature. “I don’t
recall sitting for it but I recall the miniature. I hid it inside her desk after she died. I knew he
wouldn’t look there.” He set the painting aside, making no further comment as he turned his
attention back to Leo and her new ship.

Charlotte looked towards Samuel and Mrs. Wheatley, confused by his reaction and choice of
words. The sympathetic looks she received in return tore at her heart. She had been so certain
that he would be pleased by the gift. She had imagined him struggling to decide where it
should be hung and happily sharing stories of his mother with Leo and Augusta. Instead, he
had brushed it aside as though he did not care if he ever saw her face again.

Before she could dwell any further on her husband’s unenthusiastic reaction, Cora entered the
drawing room, moving swiftly to Mrs. Wheatley’s side and leaning down to whisper
something in her ear. Despite her weakened state, the housekeeper stood, assuming her usual
stance of authority. “Mr. Colbourne, Mrs. Colbourne, I understand there’s someone at the
door to see you both.”

Xander frowned as he pushed himself up from the settee. “Who could be out visiting today?”

Charlotte rose, smoothing her dress and forcing a smile onto her face. “There’s only one way
to find out.” She slipped her arm around his. “Shall we?”

It was a curious group that opened the front doors of Heyrick Park, for none could fathom
who could possibly be visiting on Christmas night. So it was that the Master and Mistress of
Heyrick Park answered the door with their entire family at their backs, peering around their
shoulders, to find a large gathering standing in front of the house…men, women and children
alike…bundled in coats and hoods against the cold with lanterns held high.

Xander stifled a cough and raised his eyebrows in question as one man stepped forward,
separating himself as the speaker for the group. “Mr. Bowles?”
“Mr. Colbourne, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mr. Bowles nodded towards them somewhat awkwardly.
“We’re sorry to interrupt your celebration. Only, we wanted to thank you both. We know
you’ve had sickness in the house and you didn’t need to take time away from carin’ for your
family, Mrs. Colbourne, to visit each of us in turn. But you did anyway because you wanted
to make sure we were all taken care of and the children wouldn’t be disappointed because
they look forward to the baskets each year. It meant a great deal to us all that you would take
the time for such a thing during your own troubles.”

Words of thanks and well wishes were called out from the group, the men touching their hats
and dipping their chins. The women bobbed, their daughters following their example a
moment later. And then a voice rang out clearly from the back of the group, the deep baritone
rolling across the night.

God rest ye, merry Gentlemen,

Let nothing you dismay,

For Jesus Christ our Saviour

Was born upon this Day.

To save poor souls from Satan's power,

Which long time had gone astray.

Which brings tidings of comfort and joy.

Those gathered began to join in, each line and verse growing louder until all were singing
together as one. Susan tucked her arm into Samuel’s and they shared a smile, her clear voice
as lovely as her smile. Charlotte nudged Augusta to join in as she sang along. But it was the
soft tenor only heard by those standing in the doorway that surprised them most as Xander’s
voice joined for the last verse.

Now to the Lord sing praises,

All you within this place

Like we true loving brethren,

Each other to embrace,

For the merry time of Christmas

Is coming on a-pace.

Which brings tidings of comfort and joy.

With tears of joy in her eyes, Charlotte wrapped her arm around Augusta, her other locked
within the crook of her husband’s elbow. Leo, who did not know the words, grinned broadly,
her eyes gleaming as she leaned back against her father. Samuel pulled Susan closer into his
 side and Mrs. Wheatley’s face shone with the kind of shining pride that only a mother could
wear.

As the last notes drifted away into the night, shouts of Happy Christmas filled the air. “Happy
Christmas to all!” Charlotte called out as the group turned to leave, their voices raising in
song once more.

Once the doors had been closed, Xander turned to her, a look of admiration on his face. “You
delivered the baskets to the tenants? By yourself?”

She shrugged. “Susan and I put the baskets together from Mrs. Wheatley’s list and Peter
helped me deliver them yesterday morning. And we delivered the items we’d purchased for
those families in town to Miss Hankins. I couldn’t let the families go without. What if they
were relying on the baskets for their own Christmas celebrations?”

Xander seemed at a loss for words, his lips parted as though he meant to speak but the words
wouldn’t come out. Instead, he pulled her into his arms, embracing her there in front of
everyone. Leo wrapped her arms around her waist from behind, not fully comprehending
what had been done but wishing to be part of it. Her disappointment at Xander’s reaction to
the painting melted away within his warm embrace.

“Well done, Charlotte,” Samuel grinned. “Or should I say, Mrs. Colbourne, Mistress of
Heyrick Park?”

Chapter End Notes

Another chapter that grew organically from a vague notion and went through about a
hundred changes and variations.

*A posset was a fortifying concoction commonly given to the sick and consisted of
eggs, milk and brandy. Jellies would most likely be made of calf or pig feet. Saline
draughts were made from willow bark boiled in white wine, giving patients salicylate
which is the main ingredient in aspirin.
 A Secret Shared
Chapter Summary

Although it should come as no surprise, someone has a secret.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

A Secret Shared

By Twelfth Night, life at Heyrick Park had returned to normal. Or nearly so.

Samuel having fully recovered; he and Susan had returned to London earlier in the week.
There were clients to attend to and cases to be argued in court now that the holiday was over.
They would return soon enough, however, for Charlotte and Susan had agreed they would not
allow the brothers to use distance and work as excuses to drift apart once more. Xander, the
girls and Mrs. Wheatley had also recovered, each resuming their regular daily activities and
the natural rhythm of the household.

Leo pushed her chair back and jumped up from the table, prepared to run from the room.
“Leo,” she said gently, reminding her of her manners.

She slid to a stop and turned, a sheepish expression on her face. “May I be excused?” she
stood politely, hands clasped before her.

“Yes, you may,” she laughed at the picture Leo made, trying so hard to be proper. “You may
play until I come fetch you but we have school work to do today.” Leo nodded and darted
from the room.

Within moments, Augusta had left to practice the new music she had received for Christmas.
And as he’d done every morning since Samuel and Susan had departed for London, Xander
stood up from the table, kissed her on the head and silently departed for his study, already
distracted with thoughts of the work that sat waiting for him. A sigh escaped her lips as he
walked out the door.

At first glance, everything about their marriage appeared quite normal. Xander joined them at
meals, engaging Leo and Augusta in pleasant conversation, asking about their days. He
listened to her own plans for the day and answered any questions she directed to him. And
although he’d been coming to bed long after she’d already fallen asleep, she often woke in
the middle of the night to find that he’d curled himself around her.

It came as no surprise to her that he would strive so diligently to catch up on the work that
had piled up since their wedding. He rose early each morning, spending hours at the dairy
and home farm and checking on his tenants. Once he returned, the remainder of the day was
spent in his study, working long into the night. She did not begrudge him wanting to
complete the work that remained undone, knowing that it was not within his nature to let
tasks fall by the wayside. His dedication and determination that the estate should provide
well for their family and those of their workers could not be questioned.

But there was a wariness about him that pained her. She got the distinct impression that he
was throwing himself into work as a means of eluding her. It was as though, at any moment,
he expected her to lecture him or press him for answers he was not prepared to give. And she
could not fault him for assuming so, for it was not all that long ago that her insistence on
knowing about his past had led to their mutual heartache.

There had been no explanation for his disregard of her gift and the confusion and hurt she felt
over his reaction had initially prevented her from pressing the issue. After a number of days
had passed, however, she’d determined that it would be better for her to practice patience,
allowing him time to come to her when he was ready. Yet he remained stubbornly silent and
she had begun to fear that the longer he continued to keep the past buried, the more it would
boil inside him until it would have no choice but to spill over when he least expected it.

As she had each morning, she forced herself to set aside her worries. Continuing to dwell on
the matter would do her no good when there was work that needed done. Charlotte lingered
at the table, gathering her thoughts around what she needed to attend to for the day. Her eyes
fell back to her breakfast plate and her stomach turned at the sight of the uneaten food. She
hastily pushed the plate aside and picked up her cup of tea.

“You barely touched your breakfast this morning.” Raising her eyes, Charlotte caught the
look of concern on Mrs. Wheatley’s face as she entered the breakfast room. “You didn’t eat
much yesterday morning either and you look a bit pale. Are you feeling unwell, Mrs.
Colbourne?”

Charlotte shook her head. “I’ve just felt a bit out of sorts for the last few days, Mrs.
Wheatley. I admit my appetite has been a little off but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

The housekeeper eyed her speculatively for a moment before going to the door and closing it
quietly. “Pardon me for asking such a personal question, Mrs. Colbourne, but is it possible
you’re with child?”

Charlotte’s eyes widened, her hands immediately resting across her stomach. Could she
possibly be…? Well, of course it was possible. She was married after all. And they certainly
had done what was required to cause such a condition. “I didn’t even consider….”

She slumped back into her chair, looking to the housekeeper hopefully, as though she would
have the answer to all of the questions that were now swirling through her head. She mentally
counted the days and weeks. With everything that had happened, she’d paid no attention to
the fact that her courses were long overdue. She felt rather foolish. She’d seen her mother
through all stages of pregnancy and had assumed when it was her time, she would have no
issue recognizing the signs within herself.
“It’s so soon,” she whispered in disbelief, more to herself than to the older woman watching
her closely, her brown eyes soft with emotion.

“If the timing is right…,” Mrs. Wheatley’s voice wavered slightly. “You would not be the
first bride to find themselves expecting a child so soon after they married.” Her eyes welled
with tears.

“Oh, please sit down, Mrs. Wheatley,” Charlotte pushed out the chair next to her, her own
eyes beginning to fill.

The faithful housekeeper’s usual stoic demeanor broke and she sank into the chair. Charlotte
grasped her hand across the table. Her brain spun with the implications. They both knew all
too well what this would mean to the man that was so dear to them. For a man who had been
through so much, whose first wife had betrayed him in such a manner, such news would
likely bring him to his knees.

An image of Xander surrounded by Augusta, Leo and a passel of children with brown curls
came to mind and a small smile tugged at her lips. But she must still be cautious. It was not
uncommon for a woman to think she was with child only to be proven wrong soon after. She
chewed her bottom lip anxiously. “I should wait to tell Xander, shouldn’t I?”

“It would be very early days,” Mrs. Wheatley agreed, brushing at her cheeks. “I suggest
giving it a little more time just to be sure. You can arrange to see the doctor if it would set
your mind at ease. There’s no need to cause Mr. Colbourne any undue concern until you’re
certain.”

She shook her head, suspecting she knew quite well what would occur when Xander learned
the news. “He likely will try to forbid me from leaving the house once he knows. But that’s a
battle for another day.” Charlotte pursed her lips. When they had been at their closest, she
would have sworn that he could read her mind at times. “Keeping this a secret will be
difficult.”

“It’s not all that difficult to keep a secret when you barely see one another,” Mrs. Wheatley
pointed out, not even attempting to disguise her disapproval of Xander’s current state of
burying himself in work. “You’ll have to tell him if he becomes suspicious. If you continue to
feel unwell, he’ll catch on sooner than later. He may be stubborn, but he is not blind.” Her
tone softened into reassurance. “But no matter when he finds out, he’ll be so very happy.”

Charlotte’s mind went immediately to Leo and Augusta and they exchanged another look of
cautious excitement. “We all will be, Mrs. Wheatley.” She straightened her back, sitting up
tall in her chair and wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Now, that’s enough of that. There are
plenty of other things to do today besides pondering something that may or may not be.”

Mrs. Wheatley smiled and patted her hand. “Still, I’ll add baking some ginger biscuits to my
list for the day. And if there’s anything you don’t think you can eat, you let me know and I’ll
keep it off the table for the time being. Until then, I think a cup of ginger tea will do you
good.”

*****
As the days passed, the signs that she was likely with child became more difficult to ignore,
proving that Mrs. Wheatley was most likely correct in her assumption. Although still early to
consider pregnancy a foregone conclusion, she did not see any other possible explanation.

The queasiness she’d felt in passing had now become a daily concern and for the first time in
her marriage, she was grateful that her husband departed their room early each morning. A
basin had been tucked discreetly beneath her side of the bed and each morning, after Xander
left for his daily ride, Mrs. Wheatley brought her a cup of ginger or peppermint tea and some
plain toast or ginger biscuits to eat before she even got out of bed. Together, they reviewed
the planned menus in advance and any dishes that gave her the slightest pause were removed.
If Mrs. Purvis was becoming suspicious about having items removed from the menu that had
been received without issue only a few weeks before, she made no comment.

The overwhelming fatigue she was feeling was far more difficult to hide. More than once,
she’d nearly fallen asleep while reading with Leo before bed and both her husband and
Augusta had commented that she looked tired when they’d sat down to tea or dinner. She
knew that it would be best if she could manage to rest during the day but was finding it
difficult to make some excuse as to why she was lying down when she would normally be
teaching Leo or attending to some other matter without raising concern.

She had just climbed the stairs from discussing the evening meal in the kitchens when she
heard her husband’s voice carrying loudly down the hall. “Now is not the time, Augusta!”

The young woman stormed out of his study and let out a frustrated growl as she swept into
the drawing room, She plunked herself into the window seat, crossing her arms in disgust.

Charlotte sighed. Xander had been like a storm cloud for the past week, slowly growing
darker and more ominous with each passing day. She’d had little time to speak with him to
try to ascertain the reason for his increasingly foul mood, but she had her suspicions. Her
inquiries into whether or not she could assist him with anything were met with short and
increasingly curt responses that he was fine and needed no assistance.

“Augusta, what is the matter?” She sat down next to her.

She dropped her arms in defeat. “Uncle has become absolutely unreasonable. It’s as if he’s
back to his old ways before you came to us. I merely asked if he would allow me to take the
carriage into town as I have some books I’d like to pick up from the booksellers and it’s too
cold and wet to walk. Instead of answering, he shouted at me to leave.”

“So he did not wish to be disturbed?”

“The door was open,” she insisted. “I would not have gone in otherwise. Especially as he has
been so out of sorts recently.”

Charlotte could hardly fault Augusta in this instance. When Xander did not want to disturbed,
it was understood that the door would be shut and anyone who needed him should knock.
Although Leo was still working on knocking, Augusta rarely ever bothered her Uncle when
the door was closed, preferring not to tempt finding him in a disagreeable mood when she
could wait to ask him during meal times or when he was otherwise more amenable to
interruptions.

“I know what we shall do,” she offered a conciliatory alternative. “You and I shall go into
town tomorrow to do some shopping, just the two of us.” She patted her arm. “And, I will
speak with your uncle. Now, could you please do me a favor and keep Leo occupied for an
hour or two? Perhaps you can work on her French and practice the spinet together.”

After receiving Augusta’s assurance that she would attend to her cousin, Charlotte went to
seek her husband. If he was lashing out at others, continuing to allow the distance between
them to go unaddressed was no longer an option. She would not force him to discuss the
memories that were so difficult for him, but she could make it clear that she had not turned
her back on him. She regretted now that she had waited so long to discuss the matter of the
painting, for the tension that had developed between them as a result had led to an
unfortunate repercussion.

From the moment he had stopped the carriage that was carrying her towards Ireland, his life
had been full of moments of affection between the two of them. Whether it be a stolen kiss,
an embrace or long nights together, he had been shown a world he’d never known, one where
he was given the loving touches he’d not experienced before. The first days of their marriage
had been spent entirely together, establishing a deeper connection and need for each other
than either of them had considered possible. Between the lengthy hours spent in his study, the
fatigue she felt from her pregnancy and the uncomfortable silence that had grown between
them, there had been no quiet, intimate moments between them since just after they’d
returned from London. For a man who had been raised mostly without a mother and married
to a woman who had chosen another man’s bed, the sudden lack of closeness that he'd
become so accustomed to must have been startling. Whether he realized it or not, Alexander
Colbourne was a man who craved affection and the more time that passed, the more it was
wearing on him. In short, she believed her husband was so surly because he missed her.

*****

Standing in the open door of his study, she was struck by the memory of their first meeting
when he’d been in the same position, head and shoulders bowed over his desk as he wrote
some letter of business. She marveled how it could seem so long ago and yet like it happened
only a week prior at the same time. She smiled to herself as she walked towards him. They
had certainly fought their battles in this room, and there would be many more to come, but
today was not a day for confrontation.

“Xander,” she placed a hand on his shoulder.

His head remained bowed over the ledger book before him. “Please do not come to lecture
me about Augusta, Charlotte,” he said. Her heart ached for how tired he sounded. “I am busy
and she cannot always run to you when she doesn’t like my response to her latest request.”

She began rubbing circles on his back. “I would like your help with something.” She curved
her fingers so her nails lightly scratched him through his shirt and waistcoat, knowing full
well the effect it would have on him.
Xander closed his eyes and sighed. “Can it not wait? I’m busy.”

“Husband, I need your help with something,” she repeated insistently. She allowed her
fingers to move up to the back of his head, lightly running them through his hair in the
particular way she knew he enjoyed.

He groaned and finally looked up at her. The dark shadows beneath his eyes gave away just
how exhausted he was. “Now?”

“Yes, now. It’s important.”

She returned his exasperated look with a cheerful smile and took his hand, leading him up the
stairs.

“What do you need upstairs that’s so important?” he questioned irritably. “Please do not tell
me you need me to help select new draperies or some such thing.”

She rolled her eyes at him as she led him into their bedroom and locked the door behind
them. He turned to her, raising his eyebrows. She walked closer and turned her back to him as
she reached up and began pulling the pins from her hair. “I would like to take a nap and need
you to help me remove my dress and stays.”

“Charlotte,” his stern voice wavered, “you have a maid for this.”

“Xander,” she looked over her shoulder at him, “are you going to help me or not?”

The firm set of his features softened and he stepped closer, gently brushing her hair aside
before he slowly began to unbutton her dress. She shivered as he ran a finger lightly down
her spine from the nape of her neck to the top of her chemise before bending to let his lips
caress her skin. Her dress slid down her arms and over her hips to the floor as his nimble
fingers moved to the laces on her stays.

“Do you really mean to nap?” he said softly in her ear as her stays joined her dress on the
floor, the whispered words more a plea than a question.

Laughing softly, she turned and stepped out of the puddled fabric around her feet as she
reached for the buttons on his waistcoat. As usual, his cravat had long been discarded, lying
who knew where. Slipping his waistcoat off, she moved on to the buttons on his shirt. She
could feel his heart racing through the thin cotton as she pressed a kiss against his warm skin.
His scent enveloped her, unfurling the desire that had been lying curled tightly deep inside
her.

“I was hoping you could join me.”

A low moan escaped his lips as he captured her mouth with his. Within moments they were
tangled together on the bed, gasping for air. Knowing they needed to slow down for both
their sakes, she ran her hands soothingly down his back until he calmed. Kisses and caresses
slowed, becoming almost reverential in nature.
“I’m so sorry, Charlotte,” Xander murmured against her neck. “I would never hurt you on
purpose. I love you too much.”

“Shh,” she hushed him. “I know, my love. I know.”

In an effort to make up for lost time, their coupling was tender and agonizingly slow. Despite
only being married for a short time, they knew each other too well to not be able to draw out
the other’s pleasure in excruciating slowness. It became a delicious teasing match between
husband and wife as time and again they came close to the edge, only to pull away and begin
again. When they could stand it no more, they dove into the storm together, clinging to each
other as though their lives depended on it.

Once their breathing returned to normal and they had regained control of their limbs, Xander
pulled her closer, his arm around her waist and leg over hers. “I’ve missed you,” he
murmured, his hand stroking her side.

Her fingers trailed lightly down his arm. “You need not miss me, my love. I am always right
here.”

“You must think me a selfish man. I should not have kept myself away from you for so long.”

“I think you are a man who is so accustomed to bearing the weight of all of his worries and
responsibilities alone that you ignore your own needs and don’t know how to seek solace or
assistance when it becomes overwhelming. And I think you still believe that you do not
deserve my love and fear that I will turn from you even though you must know I would never
do such a thing.”

He laced his fingers through hers. “I am sorry for how I reacted to the painting. I was not
expecting the memories it raised when I saw it. I do love it and will cherish it forever.”

She was silent for a moment as she ran her thumb back and forth over his. She did not take it
lightly that he had acknowledged the hurt he’d caused her. And she supposed it would have
to be enough for now for she would not push him to give her more than he was able. He must
come to tell her on his own. But there was something she could give him in the meantime.

Moving his hand, she placed it so that it lay low across her belly, covering it with her own. “I
have something to tell you.”

He went completely still for a moment and then raised himself up onto his elbow in order to
read the truth in her eyes. “Charlotte? Are you…?”

Tears began to well in her eyes. “You’re to be a father again.”

As they clung to each other, she realized he had never had this moment with Leo. There had
been no celebration that he would be a father, that a new life had been created out of love. It
did not signify that this was to be the first child that shared his blood, for he truly did not
view Leo as any less his daughter because he had not fathered her. She was reminded once
again of how astounding their family was, created from those that most needed each other,
brought together by the most amazing of men.
 *****

Xander opened his eyes, blinking at the sun-filled room. It took a moment for him to recollect
the events that had led him to be lying in bed in the middle of the afternoon with Charlotte
curled against him, sleeping peacefully. A disbelieving smile spread across his face and he
barely contained himself from squeezing her tightly.

His thoughts drifted back to when Augusta had stormed out of his study. He knew very well
that he shouldn't have snapped at her. It had not been her fault that he was in a foul mood. It
had been no one's fault but his own. But he'd allowed himself to sink back into his old habit
of burying his feelings deep inside him and he hadn't had any idea of how to rectify the
situation. Like a coward, he had been avoiding his wife in hopes that it would save him from
having to share the uncomfortable memories the painting of his mother had raised in him. He
could reluctantly admit that he had let his avoidance go too far. What had initially begun as a
real need to attend to the work that required his attention had quickly evolved into burying
himself in anything that would provide an excuse to stay away from her. And when it had
seemed as though she had taken to avoiding him in return, retiring earlier and earlier each
night, he had assumed she was doing so to keep her from having to speak to him and
presumably also to avoid any attempts he might make to resume intimate relations with her.

The entire matter had stirred recollections that he’d hoped would never resurface again, ones
of Lucy making excuses to keep her new husband out of her bed. And while reason dictated
that Charlotte would never do such a thing, that his wife welcomed his affections with equal
passion, he also knew that he’d once again inadvertently caused her pain. And experience had
shown him all too clearly that she could only take being hurt by him so much before she too
would close herself off.

The pain he'd felt at his distance from Charlotte hurt him far more than Lucy’s ever had. He
had not loved Lucy when they’d married, although he’d felt a great deal of affection and
attraction for her. But his love for Charlotte was all consuming. His every happiness relied on
her being near. It was not just their physical intimacy that he'd missed, he missed everything
about her. He missed lying in bed, wrapped in each other's arms as they softly talked about
their day. He missed her telling him about the news from the latest letter she received from
her mother or sister as they ate breakfast together. Even the brief touches of her hand or the
smiles she gave him from across a room were missed, leaving him feeling empty inside.

He’d come to rely on those moments between them. They anchored him to her, as though he
was bobbing along in rough waters, and she was keeping him tethered to everything that he
held dear. Without her, it had been as though he was flailing in the open seas once more. He
was ashamed to admit that for the past few weeks, he’d allowed himself to be pulled further
and further away, straining that tether to his limits and he had not known how to bring
himself closer to her again.

Leave it to Charlotte to take matters into her own hands once more. He knew now how
foolish he'd been acting, causing them both unnecessary anxieties. His eyes drifted to the
clock on the mantle. It was nearly teatime, but he was reluctant to wake her from her nap
when she needed to rest more than ever. Slipping silently from the bed, he dressed himself
before pulling the blankets up to her chin and placing a tender kiss upon her cheek.
Leo and Augusta were already seated at the table when he entered the drawing room, waiting
patiently for him and Charlotte to join them. Leo gave him a curious look as he sat down
across from her. “What happened to your hair, Papa?”

Xander hastily ran his hand over his hair, heat creeping up his neck and ears. “I must have
mussed it when I was working. Sometimes I find myself rather frustrated and do not realize
I’m running my hand through it while I’m thinking about some matter or other.”

Mrs. Wheatley eyed him with a knowing look. “Is Mrs. Colbourne not joining you for tea?”

Xander raised his cup to his lips, averting his eyes. “She was feeling a little tired and decided
to take a nap. It’s probably best to give her a little more time to rest.”

“I’ll set a plate aside for her,” the housekeeper bit back a smile, making it clear she knew
perfectly well why his wife needed her rest.

“And Mrs. Wheatley,” Xander nodded towards the painting that still leant against the wall,
“could you see that the painting is hung in Mrs. Colbourne’s sitting room, please? I think my
mother would have liked it there. After all, it was her favorite room.”

A broad smile spread across her face. “Of course, sir. I couldn’t agree more.”

*****

“How long have you known?” Xander posed the question that night in bed, when the house
was quiet and she was on the verge of sleep.

“Not long at all. It was Mrs. Wheatley who first suspected. It’s obviously still very early
given the short time we’ve been married but the signs are only growing stronger with each
passing day.”

His hand came to rest low on her stomach, his thumb moving in small circles. “And you’re
well?”

“I’m well enough,” she reassured him. “Only a little sick in the mornings and very tired by
the end of the day. I can barely keep my eyes open when I am tucking Leo into bed.” His
hand stopped. “What is it?”

“I…it’s nothing.”

“Xander.” She did not even attempt to hide the warning in her voice. They could no longer
continue avoiding discussing the matters that caused tension between them.

He flopped onto his back, throwing his arm over his eyes. “I thought you were retiring early
to avoid me. I assumed you were angry with me and wished to prevent any relations I might
try to initiate between us.”

She gasped and quickly rolled herself on top of him, pushing his arm away from his face so
he would have to look at her. “Xander, no! I was not avoiding you!” She studied his face in
the moonlight. “You cannot believe I would do such a thing.”
He pulled her head down to his shoulder. “I was wrong to think so. But I could not account
for it otherwise. I was not privy to the early days of Leo’s existence. The only sign I know
that a woman is with child is that she gets rounder.”

Laughter built inside her, bubbling up and bringing with it an overwhelming sense of relief.
Startled at first, his arms tightened around her as he too began to shake with laughter. She
could give him all the time he needed to share his memories with her. Tonight, it was enough
that she had her husband back once more.

*****

It should have come as no surprise to Xander just how much he would relish taking care of
his wife. After all, he had ridden all the way to London to seek his wayward brother simply
because her friend had needed help and he’d hoped it would make her happy. He took her
happiness and wellbeing very seriously. And now he had their child to consider as well. He
simply had not considered just how much he would worry about them both.

His anxiety had started a few days after Charlotte had shared the news of her pregnancy when
an early morning rain shower postponed his usual ride on Hannibal. Curling himself around
his wife, he’d decided to return to sleep, only to be startled awake as she shoved his arms
aside and hastily reached under the bed for a basin. When Mrs. Wheatley arrived shortly after
with a cup of tea and plate of biscuits, she smiled at the sight of him rubbing Charlotte’s back
as she cradled the basin in her lap. He assumed his face must have clearly conveyed the panic
he was feeling, as the housekeeper had smiled and patted him gently on the arm, reassuring
him that it was entirely normal for his wife to feel so sick.

Compounding his concern, a passing comment about the illness that had spread through the
house before Christmas made him realize that his wife had driven herself to near exhaustion
caring for their entire family as well as ensuring the Christmas baskets had been delivered.
Although Charlotte had not been aware of her condition at the time and had survived the
week unscathed, the thought of what could have happened if she’d gotten ill, sent a chill
down his spine. As a result, he became rather overprotective of his wife.

Dr. Fuchs and Mrs. Graham, the midwife, were soon summoned and appeared rather startled
as they were questioned with excessive thoroughness by her husband as Charlotte endured
the meeting with a pleasant expression on her face. He checked on her repeatedly throughout
each day and insisted that either he or Peter accompany her to town to carry any packages she
might purchase. And he took to delaying his morning rides until she was awake, and he had
seen for himself that her stomach had settled before escorting her downstairs to breakfast.

Each afternoon, some two or so hours before teatime, he would seek her out wherever she
might be in the house, and they would ascend the stairs to their bedroom together so she
could nap. He would assist her in removing her dress and stays before tucking her into their
bed with a kiss. Some days, she would turn to him, reaching for the buttons on his waistcoat,
inviting him to join her. Those days were particularly sweet but did not diminish the simple
joy he took in watching her close her eyes as he brushed a kiss across her brow before he left
her to nap. Like clockwork, he would be there to awaken her with another gentle kiss. She
would wake feeling refreshed, the difference noted even by Leo and Augusta who were
happy to have a more vibrant Charlotte spending time with them in the evenings.
After dinner, he made every effort to spend the evenings with his family. If Charlotte
delighted in teasing him that he was only joining them to keep a close eye on her rather than
because he had any less work to do, so be it. They had come to an unspoken agreement that
she would tolerate his excessive care with patience and good humor while he turned a blind
eye to the eye rolls and amused looks she exchanged with Mrs. Wheatley when he was being
particularly insistent that she needed to rest.

Days passed with a level of peace and contentment he could not recall ever feeling before.
Each night he found himself counting his blessings as sleep took him and any lingering
thoughts about the memories that had been dredged up by the painting of his mother slipped
once more beneath the surface.

*****

Well before they were married, Xander had perfected silently observing Charlotte, and he
was confident in his ability to read her expressions and demeanor. Samuel and Susan had
only just returned to Heyrick Park from London and Charlotte had been a warm and engaging
hostess during dinner, delighted to have her brother and sister-in-law back under the same
roof. It was understandable that she wished to keep them company. After all, they were their
guests and friends as well as being family. But he had been watching his wife as the evening
slowly meandered towards night and he could not help being acutely aware that her usual
vigor was waning.

Returning from settling Leo into bed for the night, he caught Charlotte’s every tired blink and
poorly disguised yawn hidden behind her hand. He knew she hadn’t slept well the night
before, up frequently from their bed. When her eyes closed for an entire minute, he stood and
reached out his hand. He did not miss the stubborn shift to her features as her eyes met his.
“Charlotte, you’re tired. You should retire and get some sleep.”

“You do look tired, Charlotte,” Susan agreed. “There’s no need to stay up for us, my dear.”

“Perhaps you should let your wife sleep more at night, Xander,” Sam observed cheerfully
from his chair.

Xander shot his brother a quelling look. “Come, I’ll escort you upstairs.”

Charlotte shook her head as she fought to suppress another yawn. “I’m fine.” Raising her
eyes to his and seeing only the firm look on his face, she reluctantly stood. “You do not need
to help me.”

She wobbled slightly even as the words left her lips and he reached out quickly to steady her.
“You’re exhausted,” Xander countered and proceeded to unceremoniously scoop her up into
his arms, ignoring the startled looks from those in the room.

“Xander!” Charlotte exclaimed weakly. “I’m perfectly capable of walking up a flight of

stairs.” Her head fell against his shoulder, mocking any protest she might still try to raise.

Before he could ask, Mrs. Wheatley picked up a candle stick and led them wordlessly out of
the room. He tried to push aside his feelings of concern as he carried his wife up the stairs
and into their bedroom. Sitting down on the side of their bed, he cradled her in his arms as
Mrs. Wheatley bent to remove her shoes.

“I can stand, Xander,” Charlotte insisted, her words defiant but strained.

“Not unassisted you can’t,” he countered gently.

He stood, allowing her feet to slide to the floor. Any remaining fight left her and she leaned
into him as Mrs. Wheatley slipped her dress down her shoulders from behind. He pressed his
cheek to the top of her head as she gave in to her body’s demand for rest. “Why didn’t you
take a nap today?”

“Leo has felt somewhat neglected, so she and I spent the afternoon together and time got
away from me. Before we knew it, it was teatime and then Samuel and Susan arrived from
London.” Her words were muffled against his chest. “Besides, you were at the dairy this
afternoon and did not remind me.”

“Ah, so it’s my fault, is it?” he teased, as his fingers gently removed the silver combs from
her hair.

Together, he and Mrs. Wheatley helped her slip into a nightgown. Mrs. Wheatley pulled back
the coverlet and he guided Charlotte to sit down. He knelt at her feet and slipped off her
stockings before she curled onto her side with a soft sigh. Pulling the coverlet up to her chin,
he pressed a kiss to her temple before meeting the housekeeper in the hall.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley,” he said as he pulled the door closed behind them.

“You’ll have to tell your brother and the ladies, Xander,” she said as they descended the
stairs. “They won’t be satisfied being told she’s simply tired.”

“I know,” he acknowledged. “Charlotte wanted to wait a little longer before telling anyone,
but I don’t see how that’s possible now.” They entered the drawing room together.

“Is Charlotte alright, Xander?” Sam stood; his tone clearly concerned. “Should I fetch Dr.
Fuchs?”

Xander shook his head. Augusta and Susan exchanged worried looks, their apprehension
impossible to ignore. He sat down across from them, crossing his legs and rubbing a hand
over his jaw. “She has seen Dr. Fuchs already. She only needs to rest. She’s been taking on
too much of late.”

Samuel frowned at his explanation. “Charlotte is a young, strong, vibrant woman. She’s
always been in the best of health with boundless energy. If she’s ill, we want to be of
assistance. You need not spare us details. We are her family and care about her as much as
you do.”

“Uncle, please,” Augusta pleaded. “If Aunt Charlotte is ill, do not keep it from us.”
Xander exchanged a look with Mrs. Wheatley who merely shrugged. Despite his concern for
his wife’s overall wellbeing, he could not seem to resist drawing out the suspense for his own
amusement. After all, Charlotte had kept it a secret from him for weeks. He sighed
dramatically. “Charlotte does not wish to cause concern.”

“For God’s sake, Xander!” Samuel exclaimed; his patience worn thin.

Augusta pressed her hand to her mouth. Susan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, her lips
twitching slightly. Mrs. Wheatley shook her head at his theatrics and rolled her eyes at him
but the hint of a smile on her lips told him that she did not wholly disapprove of his antics.

With a barely contained grin, he ended their agony. “Charlotte should be just fine…,” he
twisted his mouth, squinted his eyes and looked up towards the ceiling as though giving the
matter great speculation, “by late summer.”

*****

“You told them, didn’t you?” The whispered words came out of the darkness as he slipped
into bed.

He smiled, opening his arms for her. “You left me no choice. They were quite convinced that
you were on death’s doorstep. But you may tell Leo, if that will make you feel better.

“Hmm,” she snuggled into his embrace. “They only thought it was more serious than it is
because you insisted on carrying me up the stairs when I could have walked.”

“Be grateful I did not throw you over my shoulder.”

She dug her elbow into his side, causing him to emit a rather loud grunt. “You are feeling
rather smug, aren’t you?”

A soft laugh escaped him. “Come now, Charlotte, it is every man’s right to feel smug that
he’s to be a father. Surely you wouldn’t deny me that?”

“No,” she yawned. “But you would do well to remember who is carrying the child, my
darling.”

He kissed her forehead “I give you leave to remind me every day until our child is born.”

She snorted. “As though I needed your permission.”

“I know you do not require my permission for anything, Charlotte. But at least in this
instance, limited though it might have been, you did require my assistance. And I am
determined to see to your every need as penance for my contribution to your condition.”

“You are determined to be a nuisance.”

“You wound me, my love. I am now, and will ever be, your humble servant.”
 Charlotte's gentle breathing was his only response. Closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep
with his wife and child in his arms.

Chapter End Notes

Yeah, if you hadn't guessed, this is just the sweet little lull before the storm. Never fear
though, that chapter is almost done!

*Twelfth Night falls on January 5th.

 My Brother's Keeper
Chapter Summary

The Colbourne brothers come to terms with their past.

Chapter Notes

Settle in, this is a long one.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

My Brother’s Keeper

By the time Xander returned to the house, it was nearing dinner time and he found himself
exceedingly irritated with how his afternoon had proceeded. He had not expected to be called
away from his family to attend to not one, but two, matters that required his attention. Two
farm workers, a pair of brothers he’d considered reliable, had taken their pay and promptly
left their positions with no notice, leaving Heyrick Farms short-handed. And a poorly
mended fence had led to the injury of one of their best dairy cows, the nature of which was
deemed severe enough that there was no possible way for the animal to recover.

He found the rest of the family waiting on him before seating themselves for dinner, a fact
that made him feel guilty on top of his already agitated state. Rushing through washing and
changing his clothes, he entered the dining room in time to hold the chair for his wife, his
nerves quite frayed. Charlotte sent him a comforting smile and squeezed his hand beneath the
table.

“What matter required your attention so urgently, Brother?” Samuel asked as the meal was
served.

“It was two matters, actually,” he said. He proceeded to give a brief description of what had
occurred, omitting details of what had happened with the cow to spare Leo, Augusta and
Susan. As the daughter of a farmer, Charlotte knew well enough what the outcome had been
without it being said outright, as did his brother.

“I’m surprised you haven’t hired a steward, Xander.”

Already annoyed by the events of the afternoon, Samuel’s comment rankled him more than it
should and he regretted providing details of the day's challenges to begin with. His brother
had never paid much attention to farm matters, even when he’d lived on the estate. He did not
wish to put a damper on the evening, however, so ignoring Samuel was his only option. “Leo,
what did you do today?”

If he had hoped to steer the conversation as far away from estate matters as possible, he was
sorely disappointed. It seemed no matter what was said, Samuel inexplicably turned the topic
back to some matter that involved the business of the estate. Whether it was an inquiry into a
small legal dispute he’d previously mentioned between two tenants, some comment about
seeing one of the milk carts making a delivery in town or the quality of the cheese on the
table, each word from his brother’s mouth seemed to rankle him even more.

He was relieved when the meal was over and Charlotte suggested that Leo and Augusta play
a duet they had been learning together on the spinet. Settling onto the settee next to his wife,
he could not help but think it would go a long way towards improving his disposition if
Samuel would close his mouth and listen instead of talking so much. Even so, he was
determined to do his best to ignore him for he was in no mood to spar with his brother
tonight.

*****

Charlotte could not account for the sense of unease she felt as she closed Leo’s bedroom
door. She’d hesitated to leave the drawing room, but Leo had requested that she see her to
bed and she could not disappoint the child with no good reason as to why she couldn’t do so.
The distance between herself and Xander had been repaired and their family was here
together, happy and healthy. She should be feeling content rather than having a sense of
foreboding.

“Aunt? Is something the matter?”

Charlotte started, pulled from her thoughts. “Augusta. I was only wool-gathering. Are you
turning in so soon?”

The young woman nodded, a slight furrowing of her brow giving an indication that
something was bothering her as well. “I am. I thought I might read for a while.”

“Do you not feel well?”

Augusta shook her head. “I feel fine. Only…I don’t mean to conjecture, but Uncle seems
somewhat out of sorts this evening and I thought it best to separate myself before I say
something that might vex him.”

Charlotte smiled despite herself. “While I appreciate your concern and attempt to keep your
uncle’s temper in check, I do not think it’s necessary to remove yourself from his sight.”

“Still, I really did wish to read this evening. I am nearly at the end of the book and have been
hoping to finish all day.”

“Alright,” Charlotte pulled her in for a hug. “As long as you know you are welcome to join
us and that you do not need to hide from your uncle just because he had a difficult
afternoon.”
Making her way back downstairs, she hoped that Augusta was not correct in her assessment
of Xander’s mood. While his frustration with the events that had demanded his attention was
obvious when they’d sat down to dinner, he had seemed somewhat more relaxed when the
meal had ended, albeit more reserved than he had been of late. But it was his nature to brood
on matters so she had not been overly concerned. She only hoped they could set matters of
the estate aside so that he could forget it for the evening.

Unfortunately, her hopes were dashed as soon as she reentered the drawing room.

“Will it be difficult to find two new hands on short notice?” Susan asked.

“I hope not,” Xander admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s difficult enough to be down
one man, but two puts more strain on the men who remain to keep up with the work.”

“I could write to my father,” Charlotte suggested as she joined him on the settee. “Perhaps he
knows of someone who is looking for work that might be willing to move to Sanditon. He
would only recommend men he knew to be hard-working and trustworthy.”

Although he only gave her the barest hint of a smile, his eyes were warm with gratitude. “I
would appreciate it.”

“You really should hire a steward,” Samuel refilled his glass of port. “I don’t know why you
didn’t hire someone long ago. You certainly have the means to do so.”

Xander stiffened next to her. “Leave it be, Sam. You never cared about the running of this
estate before. Why start now?”

Charlotte slipped her hand around his, squeezing gently.

“Really, Xander,” Samuel sipped his drink, his eyes cast towards the ceiling as though he was
giving the matter a great deal of thought. “A steward should have been the one at the dairy
the day of the accident with the milk cart, not you. During the weeks after your wedding,
when you were at the cottage and in London, a steward could have managed the work on
your behalf instead of it all piling up in your absence. And now these matters. I know you
think you need to bear all the weight of running the estate alone but that’s no longer true.”

“Sam.” Xander’s voice carried a note of warning.

“You have a new bride who is carrying your child,” Samuel continued, ignoring the
disapproving tone in Xander’s voice. “You have Leonora and Augusta to consider as well.
And you will no doubt have many more children in the years to come,” he smirked, wagging
his eyebrows suggestively.

The hand beneath her own was tense and hot, his fingers ready to curl into a fist if only her
own were not laced through them. Stealing a glance, she watched as his jaw clenched, no
doubt his teeth grinding together. His nostrils flared as Samuel continued, apparently
oblivious to the effect his words were having on his brother.
“You should focus more on your family in the coming years and let a steward handle the
more mundane tasks on your behalf.”

Xander stood abruptly. “Do not try to tell me how to run this estate, Samuel, when you
walked away and left me to take care of everything alone.”

Samuel’s eyes widened in surprise at Xander’s sudden shift in mood. “You always loved this
land, Xander.” He spoke calmly, his tone even and measured. “You were much better suited
to this life than I ever was. I never wanted Heyrick Park.”

“Why did you even bother coming back if all you’re going to do is make suggestions as
though you understand anything about running this estate?”

“I came back because you asked me to, Xander. I took on Mrs. Molyneux’s case for you just
as you came to me in London for Charlotte’s sake.” Samuel turned to her with a regretful
expression. “I apologize, Charlotte. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s alright, Sam. I know why he did it,” she said quietly, her eyes locked on her husband.

“I came back to Sanditon to try to make things right between us, Brother. I was hoping we
could move past everything after all these years.”

“Move past everything?” Xander seemed completely flabbergasted by the very suggestion.
“It’s so easy for you to say that? After you walked away from all of your responsibilities and
left me to take them up in your place? Did you ever even consider that I had made plans for
my own life when you decided to turn your back on everything?”

He began pacing, his agitation preventing him from standing still any longer. Charlotte
looked quickly between the others in the room, sensing that Xander was reaching a breaking
point but unsure whether she should dare intervene or allow the inevitable confrontation
between brothers to finally occur.

“I was so envious of you, Sam! You were able to leave and I had no choice but to stay here
with him. You would come home on holidays and everything would be wonderful while you
were here but then you would leave me again. And then your visits became more and more
scarce until you stopped coming entirely. You didn’t even want to come back when you knew
he was dying. And when he died…Mrs. Wheatley and I were the ones in the room with him,
not you. We had to watch him die without you because, like our father, you could not pull
yourself out of your bottle for even a day.”

“I have many regrets in my life, Brother. That is one of them.”

Xander lowered his head and raked his fingers through his hair, the dark memories of his past
no longer able to be suppressed after having been buried for far too long. He raised pain-
filled eyes to look at his older brother once more. “I was so happy he was gone because it
meant I could finally be free of this place!” His voice was thick with emotion. “But then you
refused the inheritance and once again I had no choice but to stay here alone.”
“Xander,” Charlotte stood, unable to bear seeing him in such pain any longer. “Let’s take a
walk. Just you and I.”

“No, let him speak,” Samuel waved a hand at his brother, indicating he should continue. “Go
on, Xander. For once in your life, tell someone how you actually feel about something instead
of bottling it all up inside you.”

Samuel flinched as Xander took a threatening step forward, his fists clenched. Alarmed, she
quickly grasped her husband’s wrist, her other hand against his chest pressing him back,
although there was little she could do if he moved to push past her.

“You want me to tell you how I feel, Sam?” His voice was now disturbingly low, the tone
ominous. “Why we didn’t speak for ten years? I’m angry at you. You left me alone with an
abusive drunk who sank this estate into debt by gambling everything we had away. You left
me to clean up the mess our father made after he died because you didn’t want to leave your
precious London to come back to Sanditon and grow up. I’m angry that Lucy turned to
another man rather than stay here with her husband and then she left me with his child! And
you couldn’t even be bothered to come back here when she died!”

Charlotte heard Susan gasp behind her. Xander’s heart was pounding against her palm, his
breathing ragged as years of pent-up emotions came pouring out of him. She wrapped her
arm around him, pressing her cheek against his chest.

“Xander, please,” she begged. “Please, let’s walk away from this room and go somewhere
else.”

“I didn’t think you would want me here when Lucy died, Xander,” Samuel’s voice was
strained. “You made it clear after I refused the inheritance that you wanted nothing to do with
me.”

“You turned your back on me…on everything that we’d grown up with…and left me to take
care of it all. I was responsible for Leo, the staff and all of the tenants and their families.
Everyone depended on me, Sam. And I had no one,” Xander’s voice cracked and the rigid
stiffness of his posture slackened as though he had just been broken, his body as exhausted as
his soul.

Charlotte blinked, allowing the tears that had threatened to flow down her cheeks. Behind her
she heard Susan sniffing.

“I couldn’t come back here, Xander, not after seeing what father turned into,” Samuel
admitted softly. “I should have taken you in as soon as I finished university, but Father cut me
off when I told him I was being admitted to Lincoln’s Inn. In my anger, I turned my back on
both of you as a result. When he died, I thought you’d finally have the life and family you
always wanted. I’d hoped you and Lucy would be happy here together.”

“You knew Lucy never wanted a life outside of London. I offered to end the engagement, but
Lucy’s father pressed for the marriage even more once he learned I had inherited the estate. I
had to sink her entire dowry into this place just to save it. She hated it here so much that I had
little choice but to allow her to go back to London even if I had to stay behind.”
Samuel ducked his head, his eyes on the floor. “You were always the honorable one.”

“She died, Sam, and I needed my brother.” The words were little more than a whisper.

“I was selfish, Xander, I admit it. I thought only of myself. I couldn’t see how much you
needed me. But you, Charlotte, Augusta and Leo are my family. I know that now and I cannot
express to you just how sorry I am for all the pain I’ve caused you over the years. I hope
someday you can find it in yourself to forgive me.”

Xander hung his head, momentarily pressing his forehead into her hair. She raised a hand to
his cheek and he took a ragged breath before turning and walking out the door. She looked
behind her, taking in the stunned faces. No one had been immune to the painful release of
pent-up emotions that had just occurred.

Charlotte moved quickly to close the drawing room doors before turning towards the two
people who’d known her husband for his entire life. “Tell me. Tell me about your father so I
can understand why my husband refuses to speak of the man.”

Samuel rubbed the back of his neck as he sank back down into his chair. “I’m sorry,
Charlotte.”

She brushed his apology aside. “Tell me, Sam.”

He raked his hand through his hair. “Our father had always been one to overindulge in social
settings. But after he inherited this estate, he drank more and more and began to spend more
time playing cards than he did with his wife and children. He was often absent, carousing in
London. It is why Xander doesn’t drink wine or spirits. He saw what it did to our father and
how much it hurt our mother.”

She had often wondered if his father was the cause of his refusal to drink but with Xander’s
refusal to speak of the man, she could only assume that was the case.

“When our mother died,” Samuel continued, “he became angry at a world that would take his
wife away from him. The drinking and gambling only grew worse after that and he used any
excuse to lash out at us, especially Xander.”

“He was always harder on Xander,” Mrs. Wheatley sighed. “He always found something
lacking in him.”

“It didn’t help that Xander was nothing like our father. Our father was very outgoing and
boisterous and Xander was always more introspective, quiet and brooding. The only thing
they ever had in common was their love for horses.” Samuel rose from his chair and began
pacing as his brother had before him. “I never should have left him here alone. Damn that
bastard!”

“Mr. Samuel!” the housekeeper chastised. “I did not raise you to use such language.”

“That man doesn’t deserve my respect or anyone else’s,” Samuel’s eyes were fierce. “I shall
call him what he was. He was a heartless, cruel man who only cared about himself. He
certainly never cared for his family as much as he did for his cards and wine.”

Charlotte looked back and forth between her brother-in-law and the housekeeper. “I don’t
understand. Why was he harder on Xander? I can’t imagine that a man as reserved as he is
was much of a troublemaker as a child.”

Mrs. Wheatley and Samuel exchanged a knowing look. “His eyes,” Samuel sank back down
into his chair once more. “He has our mother’s eyes.”

The image of Julia Colbourne with her two sons came to mind, the younger looking so much
like his mother. “The painting?”

The expression on Samuel’s face was one of deep regret. “There’s a reason there are no
paintings of our mother in the house. After she died, our father had everything that reminded
him of her destroyed and closed up her rooms. If Xander hadn’t hidden the miniature you
found, there’d be no images of her left at all.”

“Why did he have them all destroyed?” Susan asked in a quiet voice. “Did he despise her so
much?”

“On the contrary,” Mrs. Wheatley shook her head. “I believe Mr. Colbourne loved his wife
very much. But things changed after she passed. Xander reminded him too much of his late
wife. After Mr. Samuel went away to school, Mr. Colbourne either ignored him or turned his
anger towards him. Xander learned to disappear out in the grounds, hiding away until he was
sure he could sneak inside without being noticed.”

Charlotte felt her heart drop into her stomach. I know all the best hiding places.

“I did what I could to protect him, but I’m afraid it wasn’t always enough.”

She hurried to the housekeeper’s side, clasping her hands. “Please do not blame yourself,
Mrs. Wheatley. He’s lucky to have had you here with him. Without you, he would have had
no one.”

“I never should have said anything about a steward. I knew it was aggravating him.” Samuel
sighed, moving to stand. “I should go speak with him.”

Charlotte held up a hand to stop him. “No,” she shook her head. “I’ll go. It’s late. Things will
be better tomorrow when everyone has had some time to calm themselves down.”

*******

Xander could not recall leaving the drawing room for his study. But here he was, staring out
the window into the darkness, desperately trying to bring himself back to some semblance of
a rational man. It took every ounce of self-control he had to slow his breathing but there was
little he could do about the pounding in his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, he struggled to
push what had just happened out of his head. But the memories his outburst conjured flashed
unbidden before his eyes.

^*^*^
Heyrick Park - 1804

Xander stood in the doorway of his brother’s room, watching as Samuel angrily threw
clothing into his trunk. The shouting between his brother and father had ended only a few
minutes ago and already, the trunk was nearly full. “You’re leaving? You just arrived.”

Samuel’s pale eyes met his for a brief moment. “I can’t stay here any longer, Xander. I’m
going back to London.”

“But Sam….”

“No Xander,” Samuel slammed the lid of his trunk shut with an air of finality that sent a
shiver down his spine. “I won’t live here with him anymore. You’ll be fine. Just stay away
from him until it’s time for you to return to school. Keep your head down and he’ll leave you
alone. In two years, you’ll be at Oxford and you can forget this place.”

“Please, Sam,” he pleaded, fear twisting in his stomach. The new term did not begin for
weeks yet and things were not nearly so bad in the house when Samuel was home. His
brother had an ability to joke and laugh off their father’s criticisms that he lacked; his witty
comments often able to diffuse their father’s anger before it escalated too far.

“You’re not a child anymore. You don’t need me to take care of you,” Samuel insisted, taking
up his travel case and pushing past him. “If you’re ever in London, Brother, you know where
to find me.”

^*^*^

Oxford - 1810

It was well past dinner time when he returned to his boarding house. He’d been too long in
the library and now he would have to throw himself on the housekeeper’s good graces,
begging for something to eat. He only hoped she was feeling generous this evening.

“Mr. Colbourne, an express letter was delivered for you while you were out,” Mrs. Gardener
said as she reached out to take his hat and coat. “I’ve left it on the desk in your room.”

All thoughts of food disappeared as Xander felt an icy chill run through him. There was little
doubt in his mind as to the contents of the letter. He’d been expecting it for some time.
“Thank you, Mrs. Gardener.”

He took the stairs up to his room two at a time, although he forced himself to appear as
though he was quite calm. He found the letter right where the housekeeper had said it would
be. He hastily skimmed the contents of the letter, the hand and name written upon the
parchment unknown to him but the paper and seal were all too familiar. Professional and
cold in tone, the author merely reported the facts with no emotion involved. It was the smaller
slip of paper that had been added to the letter that caused him to go still, the two short words
telling him all he really needed to know.

Xander,
 Bring Samuel.

Mrs. W.

^*^*^

London - 1810

He arrived at Rook House early the next morning and it took a few minutes and repeated
knocks for someone to open the door.

“Mr. Colbourne!” The elderly housekeeper looked him up and down with surprise. “Good
morning.”

“Mrs. Elton,” he greeted the familiar woman. It had been a few years since he’d been to the
London townhouse but she appeared little changed. He was certain, however, that she could
not say the same of him. “I apologize for the early hour but I need to speak with my brother
right away.”

She stepped aside, allowing him to enter. “Your brother is not yet awake, sir. Would you care
for some breakfast while you wait?”

He shook his head, his patience already wearing thin. There was little left to spend waiting
on Samuel to wake up and make his way down the stairs to greet him. At least if he woke him,
he could impress upon him the seriousness of the matter at hand. “That won’t be necessary,
Mrs. Elton. I need to speak with my brother immediately. If you’re not comfortable waking
him, I’ll be glad to do so.”

Her eyes widened. “I…I suppose you may do as you wish, Mr. Colbourne. It’s your house
after all.”

His mind made up, he turned and bound up the stairs, leaving Mrs. Elton standing open-
mouthed in the hall. Striding confidently to his brother’s bedroom, he burst through the door
and immediately began throwing open the shutters, allowing the morning sunlight into the
room.

Samuel groaned, pushing himself up on one elbow and rubbing his eyes. No doubt he was
hung over from whatever party he’d attended the night before. “Xander? I hardly recognized
you. What on earth are you doing here?” He frowned, appearing confused. “Did I know you
were coming to London?”

Ignoring his brother’s question, he opened the wardrobe and began pulling out clothing,
tossing it onto the bed. “We’re needed in Sanditon.”

Samuel fell back onto the pillows, his arm flung over his eyes. “I’m not going to Sanditon
with you, Xander. I’ve made a point of avoiding it these past six years and I’ve no intention of
changing that now. I don’t care what reason he’s given you to try to get us back there this
time.”
“He didn’t ask, Sam. Mrs. Wheatley did.” And it was more of an order if he were to be
honest.

Samuel removed his arm and read the truth of his words from his expression before letting
forth a string of expletives. He pushed himself up and grimaced. “Give me time to dress.”

Xander gave him a terse nod. “I’ll be downstairs. Don’t be long.”

^*^*^

Heyrick Park - 1810

He woke to a gentle shake of his shoulder. Blinking rapidly, he looked up into the eyes of Mrs.
Wheatley, the candle in her hand sending shadows dancing across her solemn face.

“It won’t be long now, Xander.”

Nodding, he pushed himself up in the chair, his neck and back stiff. He rubbed his hands
briskly over his face, trying to bring himself to some level of wakefulness. He glanced over at
Samuel slumped in the chair across from him. A single look was all it took for him to know
that there would be no waking his brother for the foreseeable future, his snores and the empty
glass in his hand were answer enough. Disgust churned at his stomach.

He had brought his brother here because it was expected of them to be present. It was the
honorable thing to do, to sit by the side of your father as he took his last breath. As heir,
Samuel should be there as witness. As the second son, he was…incidental. An insurance
policy of no importance unless tragedy struck. Yet here he was, once again stepping into
Samuel’s shoes, taking on his burdens.

Pushing himself up from the chair he followed Mrs. Wheatley down the hall to the make-shift
bedroom where Charles Colbourne would take his last breath.

^*^*^

“I can’t stay at Heyrick Park, Xander. I never wanted any of this.” Samuel motioned to the
room around them.

Xander clenched his fist. He was growing tired of his brother’s cavalier attitude towards the
managing of the estate that was now his by right. A perusal of their father’s papers had
revealed the situation to be far graver than he’d first thought. “Be that as it may, Sam, you’re
the heir. It’s your responsibility to take over the estate and to care for the people who rely on
it.”

“I wouldn’t exactly be turning my back on them, Brother. I’d be leaving them in much better
hands.”

Xander whipped around, staring at his brother. “You can’t mean that, Sam. Heyrick Park is
yours, not mine.”
Samuel poured himself another glass of port. “We both know you’re far better suited to this
life than I could ever be. You love this land, the town, the sea…all of it. You even love the
cows, Xander. You belong here. Tear the house down and rebuild if you can’t stand to sleep
here.”

Xander raked his hands through his hair. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This
wasn’t how either of their lives were meant to be. He’d always known that the estate would be
Samuel’s and he’d planned his life accordingly. “Don’t do this, Sam. You’ll regret it if you
do.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Xander. I’ll never regret leaving Heyrick Park. It’s not my home.
I take no joy in being here. I’ve made a life in London and I’ve no intention of leaving it
behind to run some debt-ridden dairy farm on the outskirts of a fishing village no one has
ever heard of. You can do as you wish. Take on the estate or sign it over to whichever second
or third cousin stands next in line. It does not matter to me which you choose.”

“I’m getting married, Sam! Lucy has no desire to leave London.”

“Congratulations, Brother.” Samuel raised his glass to him before tipping the contents down
his throat. “Tell Lucy you’ll split your time between Sanditon and Town. It’s called a
compromise.”

“Yet you put forth no effort to make one!”

Samuel knew full well that there would be no money for such an expenditure. Every last cent
would have to be put into trying to pull the estate from the brink of disaster. Lucy’s sizable
dowry would be spent the moment Samuel signed his inheritance over to him and it would
still not be enough. He’d seen the ledgers. There wasn’t enough money for the necessary staff
to run the estate, much less buy the dresses, gowns and jewels a season in London would
cost. Lucy had not agreed to marry the heir to Heyrick Park. She had agreed to marry a man
who was free to live in London, free to escort her wherever she wished, free to do whatever it
took to make her happy. Of course her father would hold her to the engagement. He was in
poor health and anxious to marry her off. He would be delighted that her fiancé was now the
owner of an estate, rather than a second son with only the deed to a townhouse and a small
inheritance to his name.

Samuel walked to the door. “There’s no compromise on earth that could make me stay here. I
want nothing more to do with the place. I’ll sign everything over to you, the entire estate and
all that it entails. I only ask that I be allowed to continue to live at Rook House.”

Samuel was sentencing him to a life that wasn’t meant to be his. If he walked away as his
brother was doing, the estate would fail and all of the people who relied on it would lose
everything. Anger surged through him with a sickening familiarity, filling his mouth with a
bitter taste. “If you walk away now, you’re not welcome to return. This is forever, Sam.”

Samuel sighed, his pale eyes resigned. “So be it, Xander. So be it.”

His exit from the room was followed immediately by the sound of glass shattering against the
door behind him.
 ^*^*^

“Do you require anything, Mr. Colbourne?” Mrs. Wheatley asked from the doorway.

Xander’s eyes stayed fixed on the carriage that carried his brother down the drive. He’d
refused to see Samuel off, instead shutting himself in his father’s study…well, he supposed it
was his study now. He’d always hated this room. Entering his father’s study had usually
meant he was in trouble. “You think I was wrong to let him go with how things were left
between us.”

“He’s your only brother and all the family you have left in this world. I believe that one day
you’ll both realize that you need each other.”

He turned to look at her. The seething anger that had burned inside of him the night before
had dulled to his usual resentment. “You agree with what he did then? Placing all of the
burden on me and walking away from his obligations?”

“It’s not for me to agree or disagree, Xander,” she reminded him gently. “But I cannot say I
was entirely surprised. Samuel’s soul thrives on a livelier lifestyle, surrounded by people with
all manner of places to visit and things to do. Your soul has always found its home amongst
the horses and trees and by the sea.”

She was right, of course. Despite all of the dark memories, he still managed to find some
measure of peace here. But there was a very real chance that he would lose it all. “What if I
fail?”

“I know you, Xander. If anyone can turn the estate around, it is you.”

“How can you have such confidence in me, Mrs. Wheatley, when I don’t have it in myself?”

She smiled softly. “You forget, I’ve known you since the day you were born. From the first
moment I held you in my arms, I felt it in my heart that you belonged here, that this place
would always be your home.”

He wished he could feel the same unquestioning confidence. “It seems I have no choice in the
matter.”

“You’ll be staying then?”

“It appears so. At least for a few days. I’ll need to return to Oxford to gather my things and
then London after. I have obligations to attend to.”

“You’ll be getting married soon,” Mrs. Wheatley acknowledged. “Should I begin preparing
your mother’s rooms for your fiancée?”

He blinked rapidly. He had not even considered the idea of Lucy occupying his mother’s
rooms. Neither could he imagine spending his own nights in his father’s bed. The very idea
seemed so foreign and incomprehensible. “I…I will let you know once I’ve had time to
consider things further. The wedding is still some weeks away.”
He turned back to the window. There was little doubt in his mind how Lucy would react to the
news that he was now the master of the estate and they would be making their lives on the
outskirts of Sanditon rather than in her beloved London. Still, he would hold out hope that
she would come to terms with the change in circumstances. Given the chance, she might find
that being mistress of her own estate appealed to her. Perhaps in time, he could afford for
them to visit London and her sister’s family on a regular basis. And of course, they would all
be welcome at Heyrick Park.

*******

Heyrick Park - 1820

It came as no surprise to Charlotte that she found her husband standing in front of the study
window, staring out into the darkness, arms crossed. She went to him and wrapped her arms
around his waist, leaning against his back. He didn’t move to accept her embrace and neither
spoke as she listened to him breathing. Finally, she spoke. “What can I do?”

He gently unclasped her hands from around his waist and turned, sitting down on the window
seat. He placed his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands. “Ignore me, please. I
am not fit to be around right now.”

She stepped closer until the crown of his head pressed gently against her stomach and the
child they’d created together. His arms wrapped around her hips, clinging to her like a child
himself. She gently stroked his head, running her fingers through the soft feathering of his
hair and down the nape of his neck. Slowly, she felt the tension in him ease.

“What did I just do? What did I just say?”

“It was bound to come out sooner or later with him in the same house. You’ve held in your
resentment and anger for too long. You cannot hold that in for a decade and expect
everything to be fine between the two of you simply because Samuel returned to Sanditon to
do you a favor, no matter how large it was. The two of you need to come to terms with your
past so you can move on…together. He’s part of your family, Xander, just as much as Leo
and Augusta are. And even though I’ve only recently become a part of this family, I want
Samuel and Susan to be a part of it as well. And I am afraid that if you do not resolve this
thing between you, you will lose him forever.”

He sighed. “Do you think Samuel is right? About hiring a steward?”

She turned to sit next to him in the window seat. “You do not need me to tell you how you
should run the estate,” she gently reminded him. “You not only brought it back to solvency
by yourself, you turned it into a successful estate that provides a living for dozens of people.
You have been doing quite fine without my advice.”

“However?”

Smiling at how well he could read her, she laced her fingers with his. “I hope we will be
equals when it comes to decisions regarding our family in the future and I will not hesitate to
give my opinions on what I feel is best for all of us.”
“You believe I should hire a steward?” he pressed.

“I do not think that’s an easy answer to give,” she sighed. “Would you have more time for
your family if you hired a steward? Possibly… if you were able to relinquish responsibilities
to him after running the estate alone for all of these years. You have been successful because
you are intelligent, hardworking and compassionate,” she squeezed his arm with her other
hand. “You are also stubborn and tend to take all the work onto your own shoulders instead of
delegating or asking for help.”

He arched a brow at her. “I believe you have just described yourself, Charlotte.”

She laughed, leaning into him. “Alright, I admit it. We are far too much alike. And because of
that, I know how important it is for you to now spend time with your family. You’re no
longer the man who spent all of his hours working to the detriment of his relationships with
others. If you mean to continue spending as much time as possible with us…and I believe
you do…then you will wear yourself out trying to run the estate on your own. I don’t want to
repeat the past weeks where I hardly saw you.”

“I will not be running it alone,” he pointed out. “I will have you by my side.”

Her heart was overcome with love for this man who so readily wanted her at his side in all
aspects of their life together. “We are having a baby, my love. And should we have more
children after this one? And what about the school? I do take a great deal of interest in the
estate, as it supports our family, but I will be very busy.”

He leaned back against the windowpane, pulling her close into his side. “I do not want our
children to know their father as a man who they only see at mealtimes.”

“And what of Samuel?” she asked. “He wants to repair your relationship. Do you not think
it's time you finally forgave him and resolved the differences between you once and for all?
What’s done is done and Heyrick Park is our home. You’ve locked away all of the memories
you find too painful. Your parents, Samuel and Lucy. But you’ll never be able to truly banish
them if you continue to hide them away in some dark corner.”

“My mind knows that you are right,” he admitted, “but my heart still finds it difficult to
forget everything that has happened between us.”

“At least promise me you will talk to him? It will not get better between you if you do not at
least try. You already took the hardest step when you went to him in London for Georgiana.”

“It was never for her.”

“I never thought it was.”

Wrapping his arms tightly around her, they sat for some minutes in each other’s embrace. “I
missed you when you were gone,” he said softly. “So much.”

“And I missed you,” she pressed a kiss to his lips. She would never be able to fully
comprehend how they had ever been able to walk away from one another. “I’m here now and
I’m never leaving again.”

“What would I do without you? You walked into my life and changed everything for the
better, Charlotte.”

“No, my love,” she shook her head. “I may have encouraged and even challenged you to do
so, but the change came solely from your desire to be a better man for me and Leo and
Augusta. You are the one who deserves all of the credit.”

*****

Charlotte looked up from Alison’s latest letter to find Samuel standing in the doorway of her
sitting room. “Good morning, Samuel.”

Neither brother had joined them for breakfast and she had felt bad lying to Leo and Augusta,
saying the brothers had gone out for a ride together. After the meal, Susan had invited both
girls to join her for some shopping in town, an offer they’d been eager to accept. Charlotte
had grasped her sister-in-law's hand gratefully and Susan had returned her look with one that
easily conveyed that Charlotte perhaps was being faced with the more difficult task should
the brothers have another confrontation while she was gone.

Samuel stepped through the doorway, his eyes roving around the room, most likely
recollecting some childhood memory when his mother had sat here in her place. His
shoulders slumped as though he was finally resigning himself to some daunting task that lay
before him. “Do you know where he is?” he asked, foregoing any pleasantries. “I’ve searched
the house and stables. The grooms say they have not seen him.”

“I have an idea,” she admitted. Xander had left while she’d still been asleep but there were
few places he would go on foot. “But tell me first, do you truly intend to attempt to mend this
distance between you? Or are you only seeking him so you can tell yourself you made the
effort before you allow the stubbornness you both share to give you cause to retreat once
more? Because he was not the only one who was silent these last ten years.” She raised a
hand to stop his protest. “Oh, I am certain that he was the one to close the door between you,
Sam, but how much effort did you give to opening it again?”

“It was easier not to try,” he admitted, clearly ashamed.

“He’s hurting, Sam. I didn’t realize just how much until last night because he’s perfected
hiding it from everyone. He only told me about Lucy when I gave him no choice but to do so,
but he has resisted speaking about your father or the circumstances that drove the two of you
apart. If you are not willing to do whatever it takes to finally resolve this between the two of
you, then I will not assist you in causing my husband more pain, even something as small as
helping you find him.”

“I swear to you, Charlotte, that I am ready to make an end to this. I want my brother back. I
would not have taken on Mrs. Molyneux’s case if I did not. I never knew what it was like to
have a family such as this until Xander brought me here and I do not wish to go back.”
The sincerity in Samuel’s eyes was clear and she found herself taking pity on him. “I would
try the large oak on the edge of the wood,” she suggested with a sympathetic look. “The one
where he spent so much time as a boy when he wished to escape.”

“He still goes there?” Samuel asked with surprise.

She shrugged, picking back up the letter she’d been reading. “Not so much. It is more Leo’s
tree now. But it holds memories for him of his childhood and I have a feeling that is where
his mind has wandered this morning. It is the first place I would look.”

He turned to leave. “Thank you, Charlotte.”

“Sam?” He paused and looked back. “It’s clear that you’ve both been missing the other all
these years, even if neither of you wished to see it. It is not enough that he sought you out and
that you took on Georgiana’s case because he wished you to do so. That was only the first
step. The two of you need each other, Sam. Remember that.”

*****

Xander had long ago lost track of how long he’d been sitting in the aged oak tree, but it had
been a few hours at least. He shifted, adjusting his seat amongst the branches, his body
protesting far more than it did twenty years ago.

“Charlotte said I would find you here.”

“If you thought you were being quiet, you’re sorely mistaken. I’ve heard every stick and leaf
you’ve stepped on for the past five minutes.

Samuel grinned as he looked up at him. “I figured there was a decent chance you had a gun
with you and sneaking up on you unawares wouldn’t necessarily be a good idea.”

Xander snorted. “As though you could sneak up on anyone. And I still might have shot you
anyway.”

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to come down?”

He knew he was being childish but something about seeing his fop of a brother climb a tree
after all these years appealed to him.

“I’ll take your silence as a no.” Samuel heaved a sigh as he reached for the lowest branch. It
took some minutes and more than a few muttered expletives for his brother to make his way
to the upper branches. “You do know this is ridiculous, don’t you? We’re grown men.”

“I didn’t force you to climb the tree.”

“This only proves my point that you love this place and it should have been yours all along.”

Xander’s expression made it clear he was not amused.

Samuel nodded and the two sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke once more. “You
were too young to remember this, but I was forced to sit by his side for years, Xander. My
first memories are of him telling me how I would take over Heyrick Park, laying out my
entire life for me before I even understood what that meant. I had to stand next to him and
smile and nod while he introduced me to all of his friends as his heir and told them how I was
going to follow in his footsteps. But no one ever asked me if I wanted Heyrick Park.”

“No one asked me what I wanted either, Sam.”

Samuel had the grace to at least look somewhat embarrassed. “You were always at home
here, Xander. This land is a part of your blood. I never felt that. Oh, I enjoyed my days
playing games and the freedom that having so much land allowed us as children. But this
place…Sanditon…it always seemed far too confining. When I left home, I felt as though I
could breathe for the first time. I’m sure that had a great deal to do with being away from
Father but it was also the freedom to do what I wanted to do for the first time in my life.”

Samuel’s words struck a chord deep within him. Had Charlotte not felt the same way about
spending the rest of her life in Willingden, forced into a marriage she did not want? Would he
not have felt trapped if he’d stayed in London just to make Lucy happy? Had he not made
Lucy feel trapped here in turn?

“It’s difficult at times for me to remember that you were still just a boy when Mother died,”
he admitted. “You seemed so grown up to me at the time. I do know you weren’t responsible
for me, Sam. You couldn’t have stayed for my sake and it was unreasonable of me to think
you could have done so. You had no money or recourse to take me away from him. By the
time you were of age, I was fifteen and nearly the size of him. It made him much less
threatening and he knew it.”

“I could have brought you to live with me in London during the holidays,” Samuel insisted.

Xander shook his head. “No, it would have only made matters worse. He could have refused
you Rook House.”

“You’re probably right,” he admitted. “Leo? The rumors were true then?”

“I don’t wish to speak of Lucy or of Leo. She is my daughter in every way that matters.”

“I cannot help but feel responsible.”

“You’re not at fault for what happened with Lucy. Our differences were too great and she
made her decisions.”

“I should have discussed the inheritance with you instead of just walking away,” Samuel
continued. “But I knew I’d never be happy here. And even though the estate was riddled with
debt, I had every faith in your abilities to save it. I could not imagine anyone else better
suited to a life here.”

Xander had always preferred Heyrick Park to anywhere else, his love for the land running
deep within him. Despite the events that had led him to taking on the estate, he could not
imagine that he would have been happy living anywhere else. “You were right. Heyrick Park
is my home. It’s where I want my family to be raised. If we had sat down and discussed it, I
likely would have agreed to take it on at the time. I was just so angry with you making the
decision for me. I felt completely powerless and all I could see was you walking away from
me once more.”

“I suppose I never considered that by forcing your hand into taking over the estate, I was no
better than our father was in expecting me to do the same. I’m sorry for not realizing it
sooner.”

“And I’m sorry for what I said, Sam. I shouldn’t have lost my temper. I know your
suggestion to hire a steward came with the best of intentions.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Brother. You were only being honest about how you feel. It
needed to be said and I needed to hear it. I’m only sorry it took us so long to get here. It was
foolish of us to waste ten years. If you had not set aside our differences to come to me, I
would not have any of you in my life. I have come to realize these past months that I have
been missing out on so much. I would like nothing more than to have my brother back.”

It surprised him how much he’d needed to hear those words from his brother. For too long,
he’d been torn between anger that Samuel had placed him in an impossible situation and his
own guilt that he’d turned his back on him for doing so. “I’d like that, Sam, I really would.
And I want you to have Rook House. I’m going to sign it over to you.”

The surprise on his brother’s face was genuine. “Xander…,” he shook his head, intent on
declining.

“No, Sam. It’s no different than you giving me Heyrick Park. You had no use for this estate
and I have no use for a London townhouse. This is not guilt from last night speaking. I had
the papers drawn up while we were in London. I should have given it to you years ago. It’s
your home. It should belong to you.”

Samuel’s features softened with unexpected emotions. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

A smile spread across Xander’s face. “Samuel Colbourne speechless? I never thought I’d live
to see the day.”

*****

Despite the late hour and the knowledge that Charlotte was no doubt waiting for him to come
to bed, Xander found himself entering the kitchens as he’d done so many times since his
childhood.

Mrs. Wheatley looked up from where she sat at the table, her expression a mix of amusement
and disapproval. “From the looks of you, you should be in bed.”

“I assure you, I was just about to go up.”

“I’m pleased to hear it,” she nodded. “You shouldn’t be up this late anymore than I should.
But that doesn’t explain why you’re down here.”

He smiled. “I wished to speak with you.”

Within moments he found himself seated at the table with a plate of shortbread and a cup of
tea before him, just like when he was a boy. It struck him that he had not sought her out like
this since he’d become engaged to be married and he wondered if she missed their
conversations. “Are you disappointed in me? In us?”

“No,” she shook her head. “When you returned from London with your brother, I suspected it
would happen eventually. I wish you had been able to resolve this years ago but at least now
it’s out in the open, instead of continuing to fester inside you. This wound cannot be healed
unless you do it together.”

“You don’t think some wounds are too deep to heal?”

“What other choice do you have, Xander? Ignoring it has done no good for either of you. If
you do not even try, then you are letting the darkness your father brought into this house
defeat you.”

It was true that ignoring the shadows of his past had done nothing to make them disappear.
Not only had he allowed his anger to continue to cause him pain, he had hurt Charlotte and
likely Leo and Augusta as well. And now there would be a new life brought into their
world…a life he did not want to see tainted by the memories of his father. A child who
should know the love of all of their family.

“I know you’re right, Mrs. Wheatley. I just wish it wasn’t so difficult to forgive them. Or
myself.”

“You should know by now that nothing in life worth having ever comes easily.”

“When I said that I had no one…I did not mean to imply that you were not there for me when
I needed you most. You have been my greatest supporter all of these years and I do not take
that for granted.”

“You do not owe me an explanation, Xander. I took no offense. And while I have rightly been
supplanted as your greatest supporter by Mrs. Colbourne, I shall forever remain your most
faithful.”

*****

Charlotte closed her book and frowned at the clock on the mantle. It appeared that Xander
was intent on brooding instead of coming to bed for a second night in a row.

Donning her slippers and dressing gown, she made her way down the stairs only to find the
study dark, the fire long extinguished. With no telltale lights coming from the drawing room,
she made her way quietly down another flight of stairs. Unless he’d slipped outside into the
cold, there was only one other place he might be.
The soft sound of voices led her through the lower-level workrooms to the kitchens where
she found her husband seated across the table from Mrs. Wheatley, a plate of shortbread
between them. She had the distinct impression that such late night conversations had been
taking place between the two of them for years.

Xander sat with his elbow resting on the scarred surface of the worktable, his head leaning
against his hand. “It seems we are discovered, Mrs. Wheatley.”

“It was bound to happen eventually,” the housekeeper greeted her with a hint of a smile. With
a pat to Xander’s hand, she rose from the table. “I’ll be turning in now.”

“Goodnight, Mrs. Wheatley,” Xander said, his voice filled with warmth for the woman. “And
thank you.”

Charlotte moved to where he straddled the long bench and sat herself down between his legs,
her back against his chest. “At least you did not bring the shortbread to bed with you this
time.”

Strong arms surrounded her shoulders. “I’m sorry if my absence worried you. I would have
been up shortly.”

“I wasn’t worried.”

Soft lips brushed against her temple. “Liar.”

“I’m happy that you and Samuel have agreed to resolve your differences, but I hate that you
are still worrying at it like a splinter you can’t pull.”

“I have not yet come to terms with all that I said. My mind keeps repeating the moment over
and over again. I’m sorry if anything I said caused you and Susan distress. I’m grateful that
Augusta was not there to witness it as well. I don’t know how I would explain what I said
about her aunt to her.”

“Perhaps it would be best to tell her the truth before she hears it from someone else.”

“I don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have. It seems I always manage to hurt the
people I care about the most.”

She shifted, turning towards him and resting her head on his shoulder. “I know you will not
hurt us, Xander.”

“You cannot know that, Charlotte. You do not know what will happen as the years pass. Look
at the pain I caused you over a gift you put so much effort into. I gave no thought to how my
reaction might hurt you.”

“Would you ever intentionally hurt me in any way? Or Leo and Augusta?”

“No, never.”
 “I admit I was upset by how dismissive you were of my gift to you. But I never believed you
were intentionally trying to hurt me. It was clear by your words that it raised some memories
in you. I did not press the matter because I was trying to give you time to realize that you
could come to me.” She pulled back so she might look at his face. “I want you to be able to
speak with me about anything that is on your mind…good or bad. I know I cannot force you
to discuss your past with me, but I am here when the day comes that you are finally ready to
do so.” He remained silent, his lips pressed firmly together. With a sigh, she closed her eyes
and leaned into him once more. “I’d like to know more about my husband, but you are
determined to keep me out. We shouldn’t have any secrets from one another.”

“It’s not a secret.”

She considered this for a moment. Refusing to speak on a topic was not the same as a secret,
but only just. She had seen the healing that came with unburdening himself of his past once
before. But this ghost haunted him in a far deeper way than Lucy had. “Are you ever going to
trust me enough to tell me about your past?”

“It is not a matter of trust,” he spoke in a whisper. “I do not discuss my childhood because I
do not wish to relive it.”

“I won’t ask you about anything you don’t want me to,” she finally relented. “Just know that
I will be here if you can ever find it in yourself to tell me.”

He drew in a shuddering breath. “It still hurts, Charlotte.”

“I know, my love. It hurts me to know the pain you’ve borne for so long. You’ve never been
alone, Xander. And you are nothing like your father. That you are so adamant that you will be
nothing like him only proves that. You are a good man and a good father.” Taking his hand,
she moved it to her stomach, a tender reminder of the importance of their family.

His head came to rest against hers, his soft exhales warm against her neck. “I do not even
know where to start.”

“Start at the beginning.”

Chapter End Notes

I have always wished that the show had more time/episodes to explore the relationship
between Samuel and Xander as well as give more information into their history with
their father. It seemed too convenient that the brothers' relationship was so easily
resolved after ten years of silence.
*The Honourable Society of Lincoln's Inn is one of the four Inns of Court in London to
which barristers of England and Wales belong and where they are called to the Bar.

As always, thank you so much for reading and for your kind comments!
 A Rooted Sorrow
Chapter Summary

Xander opens up about his childhood.

Chapter Notes

Warning: This chapter contains depictions of abusive behavior. While it is primarily

emotional in nature, there are brief mentions of physically striking a child. You may
choose to skip this chapter without losing anything from the overall plot of the story.

As established in chapter 30, Xander was eight years old and Samuel was fourteen when
their mother died.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A Rooted Sorrow

“Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, Raze out the written troubles of the brain.” -
Macbeth

*****

The days and weeks after his outburst towards his brother proved to be challenging ones for
Alexander Colbourne. From a young age, he’d learned to bottle his emotions. He didn’t
discuss anything about his childhood, his parents or his first marriage with anyone. Keeping
everything walled up neatly inside meant he did not have to come to terms with how he truly
felt about any of it. That’s how it had been for as long as he could remember. Until the day
he’d met Charlotte Heywood and everything about his life changed.

From the moment she’d stepped into his study, he’d felt himself slipping, sharing pieces of
himself that he hadn’t meant to. From sharing the truth about Lucy to seeking her out and
telling her he loved her when she was engaged to another man, he’d placed his trust entirely
in someone for the first time since he was a small boy. But he’d been reluctant to expose the
worst of it to her, preferring to keep it locked away to spare himself the pain of reliving it all.
Now, tasked by his wife with finally opening himself fully to her, Xander invariably found
himself at a loss for words.

At first he had intended to give Charlotte only the vaguest of accounts, the shortest possible
tellings of what his childhood had truly been like. He’d meant to spare her the details so as
not to upset either of them. After all, her own childhood had been filled with happiness and
love. But there had been some indistinguishable moment when the walls he’d long since
erected inside himself had inevitably crumbled against her iron will. In the short time that he
had known Charlotte, he’d learned all too well just how stubborn and persistent she was,
especially when it came to being protective of those she cared for most and she would not
rest until her husband had rid himself of the demons of his past.

And so, with his wife’s gentle prompting, in the safe cocoon of their bed or amongst the
peaceful surrounds of the grounds around them, he began to tell her about life at Heyrick
Park, long before she’d walked up that tree-lined drive to ask about a position as governess.

*****

June, 1797

Xander opened his bedroom door as quietly as possible and peered out into the dimly lit
hallway. His father’s shouting and the sounds of glass and furniture breaking had faded some
time ago and the house was now eerily silent. Of course, until his father’s outburst, it had
been mostly silent for the past few days anyway, all of the servants speaking in whispers as
they went about their daily tasks. As if that hadn’t been strange enough, they’d also been
looking at him with the same sad looks they usually only gave him and Samuel when their
father was in one of his dark moods. He’d found their looks confusing because Father hadn’t
shouted at him or Samuel since Mother had taken ill.

Tiptoeing silently, he carefully made his way down the hall. He stopped suddenly, gooseflesh
prickling the skin on his arms. The outer door that led to his parent’s rooms was open and,
for the first time in days, his mother’s room was dark and there were no sounds coming from
beneath the door. Before, there were always maids or Mrs. Wheatley going in and out at all
hours. He’d even seen his father and the doctor go inside before the housekeeper had shooed
him away from the door.

Turning hastily, he slipped through Samuel’s bedroom door and crawled into his bed. As
though he’d been expecting him, Samuel shifted over and tugged the blankets up to his chin.
“I think something happened, Sam. The light has gone from beneath Mother’s door.”

Samuel was quiet for so long, Xander thought he must not have been fully awake and had
already fallen back to sleep. But then he whispered quietly next to his ear. “Mother’s gone,
Xander. She went to heaven.”

A horrible squeezing feeling tightened across his chest until he thought his heart might burst.
And then the tears had come, burning their way down his cheeks and choking him. He’d
shuddered with soft sobs until Samuel had curled around him, hugging him tightly and
rubbing his back until he stopped shaking. The last thing he’d remembered before he’d finally
fallen asleep was Samuel whispering to him over and over again that everything would be
alright.

*****
It was three days before he worked up the nerve to sneak into his mother’s room. The house
was bustling with activity and everyone was too busy to worry about where he might be. Mrs.
Wheatley had told him that it was perfectly fine for him to be sad and miss her and that his
mother’s presence was still in the house. Not scary like a ghost, but comforting and peaceful.
Although he knew Mrs. Wheatley wouldn’t want him to go inside, he’d decided that if her
presence was anywhere in the house, it would be where he’d spent so many hours sitting on a
stool at her feet as she told him fantastical stories about Greek gods and nymphs and horses
with wings.

He hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until it burst forth from him with relief
when he found the room largely unchanged. In his mind, he’d pictured the furniture broken to
bits, draperies shredded and shattered glass and porcelain strewn about. Perhaps even holes
in the walls and large rips in the carpet. Certainly the sounds that had come from her room
when Father had been shouting had suggested such a thing. Although the linens had been
removed from the bed, the vase from the mantle and the small stool were missing, and the
mirror above the dressing table had been broken, everything else looked much the same. But
the familiar scent of her was already gone. The mix of rosewater and powder had been
replaced instead with the bitter smell of herbs and tinctures and the room felt unusually large
without her sitting there at her dressing table or in the chair by the fire.

Moving towards the window, he looked out over the long drive that led to the house. A few
carriages had arrived and people dressed all in black were walking towards the door where
Father waited to greet them. It was clear he’d already been drinking and his voice seemed
particularly loud and harsh after the silence of the last week. As heir, Samuel had been forced
to stand next to him, shaking hands like he was a grown man rather than a boy that had just
turned four and ten. Mrs. Wheatley had told him that Samuel and Father would be going with
Mother to the small family graveyard in the grove of trees to lay her to rest but he would be
staying behind because he was too young. Samuel had said it was because he might cry
which would make Father angry. Either way, he was happy not to be going. He’d been to the
clearing in the trees before and thought it a strange place and didn’t like the idea of Mother
being there forever.

When the doors opened and the men began carrying the wooden coffin outside, he sank down
to the floor behind the drapes, making himself as small as he possibly could and buried his
face in his arms. He didn’t like to think about his mother being inside the box where it was
dark and cold. And the thought of her under the ground was even worse, even if Mrs.
Wheatley said her soul was up in heaven and she wouldn’t be scared or in pain anymore.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been hiding when he heard the door open. A moment later the
drapes were pushed aside and a hand settled on his shoulder. “Come now, Xander. There’s no
need for you to be here. Come downstairs to the kitchens. I made shortbread just for you.”
Reluctantly, he stood and allowed her to guide him from the room.

He felt better after spending the morning in the kitchens. The cook had given him a meat pie
and let him taste the pudding before it was sent upstairs for the luncheon. He kept himself out
of sight until all of the guests had gone and the house was quiet once more. When Mrs.
Wheatley wasn’t looking and he was certain that there was no one else around, he made his
way back up the stairs and walked silently down the hall to his mother’s sitting room. If he
couldn’t feel his mother in her bedroom, perhaps he’d still be able to feel some sense of her in
her favorite room.

The sitting room was just as his mother had left it before she’d fallen ill, her basket of needle
work next to the chair by the window and a letter she’d been writing left upon the desk. His
eyes began to well up when he saw the miniature portraits that sat beside the inkwell. Mother
had been so pleased with the way they’d turned out, exclaiming how happy she was to have
such faithful images of her two sons. It was true they looked very much like them but he
thought the picture of their mother was much nicer, beautiful in fact. She wasn't nearly as
beautiful as she was in the painting of his parents that had hung in the hall, but still lovely.

The sound of his father’s study door opening across the hall startled him. His heart began to
pound as he looked at the miniature in his hand. Father had ripped the painting down the
night mother had died. The frame had broken and the canvas had been torn. If Father saw
him with the miniature, he might destroy it as well. Opening the desk drawer, he quickly
shoved the miniature deep inside before slamming it closed.

“Alexander! Why are you in here?”

Xander turned, stumbling backwards into the desk as his father stepped closer. His father
loomed over him, large and strong and stern. He was the Master of Heyrick Park and
everyone had to do whatever he told them. “I…I was just looking, Father.” He moved to edge
past him. “I’ll leave now.”

Mother had always said that Father was handsome with his dark hair and pale gray eyes and
that he had been great fun to be around when they first met many years ago in London.
Samuel claimed that their father had been kind and would laugh and play games with him
before he had inherited the estate…before Xander was born. Sometimes, Father was still kind
and generous. He would return from a trip to London cheerful, with a new dress or jewels for
Mother and toys for him and Samuel. But weeks would pass and Xander would return to
being fearful of what kind of mood their father would be in each day, fearful that he’d begin
shouting if he or Samuel said something wrong or were too loud in the house.

A hand reached out and gripped his arm tightly and he cried out. His father leaned closer, his
breath hot and sour smelling. “From here on out, this room and your mother’s bedroom are
to remain locked. You’re never to set foot in either room again. Do you understand me?”

Xander nodded silently and his father thrust him towards the door. With one last look behind
him, he ran from the room.

*****

September, 1797

Xander burst through the kitchen doors and ran through the kitchen garden and out the side
gate. He pumped his arms as he ran, his legs carrying him across the open meadow of the
park towards the trees. By the time he reached the big oak, he was gasping for breath. With a
running jump, he grabbed hold of the lowest branch and pulled himself up into the tree. He’d
climbed the tree so many times that he moved without thought, his body knowing each hand
and foothold. Soon, he was so far up the tree, he doubted that anyone would even be able to
see him from the ground below.

Of course, Samuel didn’t need to see him to know he was there. After all, he had been the one
to show him the tree to begin with. His brother’s cheerful whistling as he made his way
through the grounds to the tree only served to make him more upset. He hated it when Samuel
teased him simply because he was older and bigger than he was. The whistling grew closer
until it was right below him.

“Xaaaander! You might as well come down. I know you’re up there!” Samuel called. When
he didn’t respond, Samuel groaned loudly. The sound of rustling leaves followed as he too
began to climb. “I saw you running this way,” he grunted. “You never even think to hide
anywhere else.”

Xander pressed his lips firmly together, determined not to speak to his brother ever again.

Samuel’s dark head appeared between the branches and he tipped his head back to look up at
him. “Everything will be fine, Xander.”

Xander glared down at him.

Samuel climbed higher until they were level with one another. “I’m sorry, Xander. I really
am. But you knew this day would come. I was always going to leave for school this year, even
if Mother hadn’t died. I should have left years ago but she refused to let me go.” Samuel
sighed. “I’ll be back for the holidays. And I promise I’ll write to you every week.”

Xander squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t bear to think of Samuel leaving. Once he was
gone, he’d be all alone with only Mrs. Wheatley to talk to.

“Besides, Xander, Miss Smith is gone. She won’t be able to be mean to you any longer.”
Xander jerked his head around and looked at his brother hopefully. He’d hated the
governess. “It’s true. Father dismissed her and said you’re to work with Mr. Ayles now that
I’m leaving. He’s strict but I’m certain you’ll like him better than that horrible woman. If you
do as he says, I bet he’ll be so impressed with how clever you are. Perhaps if you do really
well, he’ll even suggest to Father that you go away to school too.”

Stubbornly, he shook his head. It didn’t matter if Miss Smith left. Mr. Ayles wouldn’t change
Father’s moods. He’d still get angry and shout.

“Won’t you please try?” Samuel pleaded, his eyes gentle and soft. “Mother wanted me to
take care of you but I can’t always be here, Xander. I’m leaving and I need to know that you’ll
be alright without me. I need to know that you can be strong enough to take care of yourself.”

It seemed so strange to him that Sam’s eyes, the same color as their father’s, could look so
kind when Father’s were always so hard and angry. He bit his lip and gave a reluctant nod.
He would be strong. For Sam and because Mother would have wanted him to.

*****
“Why aren’t you eating your ham, Alexander? We don’t take food in this house and then not
eat it. We appreciate what we’re given and are not wasteful.”

Xander wanted to explain that he hadn’t taken the slice of ham. It had been on the plate that
was placed before him. But he kept his mouth firmly closed. He rarely ate meals with his
father. When he wasn’t away in London, his father was usually too busy with running the
estate and Xander was still too young to join him for dinner in the evenings. But on occasion,
his father would join him in the breakfast room, making him rather anxious that he might
spill or say something to upset him by accident.

Of course, the one day he wished his father wouldn’t join him for breakfast, was the day he
did. Pulling his left hand from his lap, he tenderly picked up his knife, biting the inside of his
cheek as the silver pressed against the swollen flesh on his palm. He glanced furtively at Mrs.
Wheatley and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. Gritting his teeth, he slowly
managed to cut a piece of ham and place it into his mouth.

His father gave him a baleful glare. “What’s wrong with you, Alexander? You’re acting as
though you can’t even hold a knife. Is something wrong with your hand? Show it to me.
Now.”

Knowing it was futile to delay the inevitable, he placed his left hand on the table, the angry
welts that striped his palm clearly visible. He only just heard the sharp inhale of air from the
direction of Mrs. Wheatley before his father slammed his fist down on the table.

“What did you do now?” The disappointment and disdain in his father’s voice stung nearly
as much as the cane stick had across his palm.

“Noth…nothing, Father. I promise I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Really? Mr. Ayles simply felt the need to strike you for no good reason, is that what you wish
me to believe, Alexander?” He turned to Mrs. Wheatley. “Fetch Mr. Ayles. Tell him I wish to
see him in my study immediately after breakfast.”

Xander felt the blood drain from his face. Samuel had said the tutor was strict but Xander
found him to be rigid and cruel. From their first lesson just a few days ago, he seemed to
delight in finding fault in him so that he could repeatedly point it out. But Xander was
determined that he impress Mr. Ayles so that he would recommend to Father that he should
be sent to school as soon as possible. After their first day of lessons, he had spent hours
painstakingly going over his work to ensure each answer was correct, assuring himself that
Mr. Ayles would have no possible reason to chastise him.

But there was nothing he could have done to satisfy the man on this particular matter.
Although Miss Smith had struck him with a leather belt across his backside for speaking out
of turn, what little sting there had been had disappeared quickly. Mother hadn’t even been
particularly upset with him on those occasions, merely telling him to mind his manners and
be respectful of the governess. But the brutalness of being struck so harshly across his open
palm for something he could not control had startled and shamed him.
Somehow he managed to choke down his breakfast, not daring to leave so much as a crumb
left on his plate. The stormy expression on Mrs. Wheatley’s face made him nervous that she
was disappointed in him and he began to worry that he might become ill. His hand throbbed
with pain as he followed his father to the study and took his place before his desk a moment
before his tutor entered the room.

“Ah, Mr. Ayles,” his father leaned back in his chair, his expression hard. “I happened to note
that Alexander has some marks on his hand,” he said. “He claims that he did nothing to earn
such a punishment. I’d like to hear your explanation.”

The tutor straightened his back and looked down his nose at Xander for a brief moment
before clearing his throat. “Mr. Colbourne, I’m sure it cannot have escaped your notice that
your younger son is left-handed. A flaw often found in those who are truly indolent. No
successful, well-mannered gentleman would ever deign to be guilty of such slothful behavior.
It will not be tolerated at any well-regarded school. It’s best to rid the boy of the propensity
for such laziness now.”

Xander peered at his father, silently praying that for once he would take umbrage with
anyone treating his son with anything less than the respect he demanded of all of his staff.
He’d never said anything before to indicate that he was upset that Xander was left-handed.
Surely, such a thing meant little to him as long as Xander behaved and worked hard at his
studies.

His father narrowed his eyes, studying each of them in turn. “Very good, Mr. Ayles. You may
leave us now.”

Xander’s eyes widened as the tutor smirked before turning on his heel and leaving the room.
The truth of what had just happened made his stomach twist into a knot. Instead of taking the
tutor to task for striking his son, his father had chosen to ignore the way he’d been treated,
effectively giving him permission to continue as he saw fit.

“Father, I…”

Charles Colbourne stood and walked slowly around his desk; his gray eyes cold. A burst of
light filled Xander’s eyes and he stumbled backwards into the chair, pain searing across his
mouth. Raising his hand to his lip, he came away with blood on his fingers.

“I won’t tolerate lying, Alexander. Lying is a sign of weakness.” He moved back around his
desk, slumping into his chair and reaching for the bottle of port. He sniffed, looking down his
nose in disgust. “I always knew there was weakness in you.” With that, he turned his
attention to the mess of papers on his desk, unwilling to take the time to even bother
dismissing him.

It wasn’t long after he’d fled to his room when the door opened and Mrs. Wheatley entered, a
basin in her hands. Sitting up, he swiped at the tears on his face and resigned himself to her
ministrations. But he refused to look at her, ashamed of what she must think of him for being
punished in such a way.
She sat the basin down on the bedside table and poured cold water from his washstand into
the bowl before placing his injured hand inside. The cool water began to ease his pain in an
instant. “You should have come to me yesterday when Mr. Ayles struck your hand, Xander,”
she gently chastised him. Taking up a cloth, she soaked it in the water and began dabbing
gently at his cut lip. “Did you truly do wrong?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t lie, Mrs. Wheatley. It’s not wrong that I write with my left hand.
Everything feels wrong if I try to use my right. It’s weak and fumbly. I don’t understand how it
can be wrong to be left-handed. It’s just a hand. No better or worse than the right one.”

The housekeeper sighed and took up the small bottle of brandy she used for cuts and scrapes.
She seemed to be holding her tongue, as though she needed time to gather her thoughts
before speaking. Pouring a little onto a fresh cloth, she dabbed at the cut, ignoring the hiss of
pain that escaped his lips.

“I don’t agree with punishing you for being left-handed. It’s always been your natural
inclination to do so, even when you were a baby. So long as your hands are used for honest
work, it should not matter which one is stronger. But hear me on this, Xander,” she looked
him in the eyes, her expression serious. “You must do as you’re told. If it means you must
learn to use your right hand over your left, do it. It’s far better than being beaten. It’s not
worth your father’s wrath. There’s time enough to use your left when you’re older and you
can do as you please. Do you understand me?”

“I don’t know if I can bear it that long, Mrs. Wheatley.”

She reached out a hand and brushed his curls back from his face. “We must all make the best
of the hand we are dealt, Xander. I know you to be an intelligent, hard-working, determined
boy. It’s only handwriting. How many do you know who can write well with both hands? I
certainly cannot. I bet you a shilling that you will be writing just as well with your right as
your left within a month’s time if you practice hard enough.”

He’d never made a bet before and despite the lingering pain in his hand, he brightened at the
prospect of besting the housekeeper. “Really? A whole shilling?”

She shared one of her rare smiles. “A whole shilling.”

*****

April, 1803

Drawing the arrow back, Xander lined up his shot and exhaled slowly. In the space between
his heartbeats, he released his fingers, the arrow flying true and striking the target squarely
in the center. Lowering his bow, he couldn’t help but grin with pride. He glanced towards
Samuel who gave him a nod of support, his eyes gleaming with amusement. Samuel cared
little if he won or lost, even to his younger brother. But in all the years that their father had
been making them shoot, neither had come close to beating him before.

Father leaned on his bow and turned his attention to him, his expression more angry than
proud. “Tell me, Alexander, do you find it humorous to outshoot me?”
The smile slipped off his face at the harsh tone in his father’s voice. He’d spent months
practicing at school until he could defeat every boy who took him on, even the older ones,
just so he could prove to his father that he could be good at something he approved of. His
father cared little if he achieved good marks or did well at cricket or rowing. But he took
archery very seriously. “No, of course not, Father. I was only pleased at how well I did. I’ve
been practicing at school just like you told me to. I thought you’d be proud.”

He narrowed his bloodshot eyes. “Proud that my second son thought it appropriate to
attempt to humiliate his own father?” He pointed towards the target. “Ten arrows, straight in
the center. And you’re not leaving until you do.”

Xander felt himself go completely still. He’d been shooting for hours already, even before his
father and brother had joined him. Arrow after arrow had struck the packed straw target
until he’d lost count of how many he’d shot. His fingers had long since gone numb, the tips
swollen, and his back and shoulders were burning. He didn’t know if he could continue much
longer and surely his aim wouldn’t hold if he couldn’t hold the bow steady.

“Perhaps we should come back tomorrow, Father,” Samuel attempted to intervene. “It’s
nearly dinner time and there’s little enough light remaining to continue shooting as it is.”

“Stay out of this, Samuel.” He turned his gaze back to Xander, his expression fiercely smug.
“Go on, Alexander. If you think you’re a better archer than I am, you can prove it.”

“I never said I was better, Father,” he insisted hastily. “It was just luck.”

“Shoot, Alexander. Now.”

Samuel stepped closer. “Take your time and be confident of each shot before you release.”

Licking his lips, Xander notched another arrow. Slowly, methodically he shot, taking each
arrow one at a time until he’d struck the center ten times. Lowering his bow, he looked
towards his father once more.

“I said ten arrows.”

Xander’s eyes darted to his brother who gave him a barely perceptible shrug. “There are ten
arrows in the center. Just as you said.”

“Ten arrows and only ten. You shot thirteen to get those ten.”

His stomach sank. It would be next to impossible to hit all ten in a row, especially after being
at it so long already.

Samuel stepped forward. “He’s just a boy, Father.”

Charles Colbourne held up his hand, silencing his older son with a look that dared him to
intervene. “Ten and only ten. Now.”

He drew a shuddering breath, desperately willing his heart to stop pounding. He knew
without asking that if he missed one, his father would only make him begin again. There was
no escaping Father when his mind was set. Besting him has been a mistake and he would
now pay for his arrogance and pride. He could not allow himself to become angry. He
wouldn’t be able to properly concentrate and would miss the target. Becoming angry would
make him no better than his father. And he was determined to be nothing like his father.

Time seemed to stop as he was forced to line up each shot and release the string, praying it
would strike true before he even considered the next one. Somewhere in the middle, his
fingers began to bleed and he was grateful that he could barely feel them. When the last
arrow struck, he nearly fell to his knees with relief. Samuel grasped his arm firmly, a silent
entreaty to hold himself steady for a little longer, at least until their father was out of sight.
He forced himself to look at their father, but he barely acknowledged him, turning and
walking away without so much as a backward glance.

As soon as he had disappeared over the rise, he hunched over, clutching his hand to his chest.
“Sam,” he gasped.

Samuel quickly tugged off his cravat and wrapped it carefully around his fingers. “You did
well, Xander. I’m proud of you, even if he’s not.”

It was a week later before he wandered towards that part of the grounds again. Mrs.
Wheatley had clucked over him like a mother hen, rubbing his aching muscles with salve and
tending to his hand. He’d spent two days in bed, barely able to move his right shoulder or
arm, his fingers wrapped in bandages. When he came upon the open area behind the stables
where, for as long as he could remember, the large archery butt had stood, he found nothing
more than a long strip of trampled grass and a few remnants of straw.

*****

September, 1807

Pulling up on the reins, Xander brought Scipio to a halt at the edge of the stream and wiped
his arm across his brow. It was unseasonably hot for late September and the horse deserved a
long drink. He’d ridden longer than usual this afternoon, trying to take advantage of the
limited time they had remaining before he left home in a few days. Hunger finally drove him
to reluctantly turn Scipio back towards the stables. It was likely he’d missed tea but he was
certain that Mrs. Wheatley had kept something aside for him, considering she seemed to
always comment on how thin he was.

Xander dismounted outside the stables and tied Scipio to the post next to General, his father’s
horse. Waving Ellis away, he went about removing the horse’s saddle and brushing him down.
He’d only had the young gelding for a little over two years and riding him was the singular
joy in his life. They had trained together for weeks, learning to read one another until they
moved with ease, instinctively knowing what the other wanted. He could spend hours happily
roaming the estate grounds on horseback but when he gave Scipio his head along a stretch of
empty beach, he felt a freedom and exhilaration that sent his heart soaring. It pained him that
they would be parted when he began the Michaelmas term at Oxford but there was no way he
could afford the stable fees.
The tell-tale sound of his father’s raspy cough shattered the peaceful sounds of early autumn
around him. Turning, he watched as his father ambled towards him. Years of heavy drinking
was taking its toll and the man was no longer the imposing figure he’d been in his youth.
Once strong and handsome, Charles Colbourne had developed a sizable paunch and his
features were now marred by a thin webbing of veins on his flushed cheeks and a hint of
yellow to his eyes. His previously dark hair was now nearly entirely gray and hung lankly
upon his shoulders and his wobbly gait was a clear indication that he was already well into
his cups. Xander exchanged a look with Ellis and bit the inside of his cheek. His father would
not tolerate anyone trying to prevent him from riding once he’d set his mind to it, no matter
how dangerous it might be.

When his father moved to mount, his foot slipped from the stirrup and he fell back awkwardly,
stumbling into Scipio. Startled, the horse became anxious, snorting and tossing his head.

“Get back, you loathsome beast!” Father raised his voice. “Alexander, if you cannot control
that animal, I will find someone who can. You’ve clearly failed in his training.”

Proud as he was of the horse, he could not tolerate any criticism against the animal and it
took nearly all his self-control to not respond with some sharp retort. “He was startled,
Father! Let me just move him aside so he’s not in your way.”

Sensing the sudden tension in the air, the horse tossed his head wildly and stepped to the side,
causing his father to stumble into his own mount. Before Xander knew what was happening,
his father raised his riding crop and struck Scipio viciously along his flank. The horse
screamed and jerked hard on the reins that were keeping him tied within reach of the man
who’d struck him.

In a flash of anger, Xander jumped between his father and Scipio, spreading his arms wide.
He hardly recognized the deep, guttural voice that came from his own mouth. “You will not
strike him!”

His father’s face purpled with anger, his eyes flashing. “How dare you speak against me!”

He struck out with the crop, the rod catching Xander across his raised arm. He winced with
pain but refused to give his father the satisfaction of hearing him cry out.

His father raised the crop over his head once more, his arm moving upward in an inexorable
swing. With every fiber of his being, and strengthened by the disgust and contempt he felt for
the man, he kept his eyes locked upon his father, refusing to flinch or be cowed. If he was
struck again, so be it. He would not let him strike an innocent animal out of anger. And then
Ellis was there, the large man’s strong arm catching the crop as it swung up behind his father
and holding it firmly.

His father turned, his mouth agape in complete and utter shock that one of his own servants
had dared to counter him. “Keep out of this, Ellis! It’s no concern of yours.”

“You strike that boy or horse again and not a single man in your service will be here
tomorrow or any day after. I wouldn’t count on most of the women either.”
His father sputtered in disbelief, spittle dripping down his chin. Xander’s eyes darted back
and forth between the two men, stunned speechless that the stable master would act in such
defiance against the master of the estate. Ellis had been working on the estate since he was a
boy and was held in high esteem by both the tenants and staff. There was little doubt in his
mind that if he left their service, others would follow. He had heard the whispered mutterings
amongst the staff. His father’s disregard for his employees over the past decade had grown
increasingly worse and it would likely take very little for some of them to finally leave. Worse
yet, word would spread quickly and there would be little hope of finding replacements
anytime soon.

His father turned abruptly, storming off towards the house. Xander heaved a sigh of relief.
Silently, he helped Ellis unsaddle the horses and return them to their stalls. If he was lucky,
his father would drink himself into a stupor and forget everything that had happened. He
would not be able to stand it if a good and faithful man lost his living on his behalf.

*****

December, 1807

Xander had barely set foot inside Heyrick Park before he was out the door and striding down
to the stables. He ignored the cold as he hurried along the drive. It didn’t matter to him that
riding in such weather would lead to wind burnt cheeks and frozen fingers. He’d been
counting the hours until he could once again ride out along the cliffs for the past week. After
spending the last three months in Oxford, he needed the smell of the sea in his nose and the
feel of Scipio beneath him. He doubted anything else would bring him even a small measure
of happiness during the holidays, stuck as he was in the large house alone with his father.

“Mr. Colbourne….” Ellis called out to him from where he stood on the back of the hay cart.

Xander acknowledged the man cheerfully with a wave but didn’t slow his stride. Entering the
stables, he was stunned to find Scipio’s stall empty. Worse yet, there was no sign that it had
been occupied for some time. He spun around, his eyes searching the other stalls to no avail.
Dread seeped into his bones like ice water.

“Ellis!” He darted back out the door only to find the stable master had abandoned the cart
and was walking quickly towards him. “Where’s Scipio?” One look at the man’s face and he
felt the blood drain from his face. “What did he do?” he whispered.

Ellis looked at him with regret in his eyes. “Your father sold him, Mr. Colbourne. The week
you left for university, sir. It nearly killed me to let him go but I had no means of stopping the
sale from happening.”

Xander squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to swallow past the lump that had formed
in his throat. Years of practice had taught him how to suppress the anger and grief that
threatened to tear through him. “It wasn’t your doing, Ellis.”

“Still, I am sorry, sir. If you still wish to ride, there’s always Gloriana.”
The stable master knew as well as he did that the dappled mare could not even be compared
to the missing Scipio. But it seemed he was left with no other choice if he still wished to ride.
“I’ve changed my mind, Ellis,” he replied in a flat voice as he turned to leave. “Perhaps
tomorrow.”

The wind whipping around him would have been enough to chill him to the bone if he hadn’t
already lost all sense of feeling by the time he reached the cliffs. The numbness he felt,
however, had little to do with the weather and everything to do with the anguish that
threatened to overwhelm him with every step. Making his way down the rocks, he stumbled to
the edge of the water and fell to his knees.

Had some unsuspecting man or woman come across him, the scream that tore from his chest
would have surely frightened them, the sound pouring from his lips one that could only be
described as that of a man’s heart breaking.

*****

Unlike that day so many years ago, it was an unseasonably warm and sunny winter day when
they walked to the cliffs and stood together watching the waves roll into the shore. If he
closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could still hear the echo of his screams
even after all this time. Glancing at his wife, he took note of the silvery tracks of tears that
marked her rosy cheeks. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he gently turned her face
towards him and wiped them away.

Charlotte brushed away a strand of hair. “Is this where you came then? After you discovered
Scipio was gone?”

He nodded, recalling all too clearly the painful burning in his chest and how raw his throat
had felt afterwards. Charlotte turned and began making her way down the rocks, intent on
going all the way down to the beach. He followed close behind, ready to grasp a flailing hand
should she stumble and keeping his objections to her climbing in her present condition to
himself. By some unspoken agreement, they stopped at the edge of the water and she clasped
his hand.

The hours spent slowly pouring his entire soul out to his wife, bit by bit, had been exhausting.
Each recollection had opened a new wound to be healed. It pained him that it had been no
easier for her to hear than it was for him to tell her the stories of his youth. For a woman who
was so loved by her own father, it was difficult for her to comprehend a father treating his
children in such a manner. The telling of it wore on them both, stealing sleep from them for
nights on end. He’d threatened more than once to stop because she needed to rest more than
she needed to hear his sorrows. But through it all, Charlotte had stayed mostly silent,
speaking out only to take exception when she felt he was too hard on himself. His wife would
tolerate no criticisms of her husband, even from his own mouth. Now, he felt tender and
exposed, like a newborn baby bird that had fallen from its nest.

They turned and began walking down the beach with no purpose other than to be together.
After some time had passed, Charlotte looked up at him. “You named your horse for Scipio
Africanus, the celebrated Roman general?”
He smiled as he remembered his own boyish arrogance. “I was six and ten when I received
him from my father. He won him in an uncommonly good night at cards and his fleeting
moment of generosity was the result. In my mind, he was the most magnificent horse any
man had ever seen, his bloodline undoubtedly impeccable. I was fascinated with Roman
history at the time and was convinced that only the most celebrated of names would do for
such a fine animal.”

“Oh undoubtedly,” she agreed with all the feigned seriousness she could muster. “But Scipio
defeated Hannibal, did he not? That hardly seems fair to your good friend Hannibal. And here
I thought he was your favorite.”

A huff of laughter escaped him. “Ah, you cannot sever a boy’s love for his first horse,
Charlotte. I’m afraid he will always be up on a pedestal in my memories, an uncommonly
noble animal that the world shall never see the likes of again.”

“Oh, of course. That goes without saying.” She laughed and bent to inspect a shell before
returning to their conversation. “What happened to your father’s horse after he died?”

“I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that I sold General and used the money towards purchasing
Hannibal. He was a fine animal and it was foolish of me to spend additional money for a new
horse at the time, given the estate’s finances. But I couldn’t bear to look at him and I missed
riding so much.”

“I suppose you had every right to do as you pleased. Perhaps it was a bit selfish of you to
spend the money but I think it was well spent. Think of all the happiness Hannibal has
brought you.”

He stopped suddenly and she turned to him, her expression questioning. “Actually I’d
entirely forgotten until just now but Hannibal is Scipio’s half brother. I purchased him from
the same man and they share a sire.”

She squeezed his arm. “So in a small way, you still have a part of Scipio with you.”

He smiled at how easily she could find some good in everything. It was a rare talent. “I
suppose I do.”

They continued to walk for some time, Charlotte pausing from time to time to point out a
particular shell or to watch the oystercatchers searching the sand for food. His gaze drifted
out to the sea. More so than when he and Charlotte had married, he felt as though he’d
entered a new phase of his life. In the silence of his mind, he likened it to a metamorphosis,
like a butterfly leaving its cocoon. He was shedding his past and it felt wholly liberating. He
was a man with many flaws and had made many mistakes in his life. He could not change
every aspect of who he was but he could endeavor to be better. Just as he could endeavor to
forgive himself. His propensity for introspection and brooding would always be a part of him,
but he no longer felt as though he could not set his worries aside in order to enjoy the aspects
of his life that brought him joy...his home and his family…all because Charlotte had walked
into his life one April morning and challenged him to be a better man.
 He was startled from his thoughts by a handful of sand striking him in the chest. He stared
down at the wet spot, the dark grains clinging to the wool of his coat. Raising his eyes, he
found his wife backing slowly away from him, a gleeful grin on her face. “Did you…did you
just throw sand at me?”

She sighed dramatically. “Now, Xander, do you not know me at all? Would I ever do such a
thing to my darling husband? Especially when he was so clearly in the midst of thinking very
serious thoughts?”

“Charlotte,” he replied sternly, “it is very disrespectful to throw things at your husband.”

She smirked at him, her eyes dancing with amusement. Arching one brow at him, she silently
dared him to retaliate. With a shake of his head, her expression faltered. For a moment, he
brushed at the sand on his coat, before jumping forward and giving chase. Charlotte shrieked
and turned and began to run but her shorter legs, encumbered as they were by her skirts,
made her a rather easy catch.

If any townspeople found themselves walking out along the pier on such a fine afternoon and
happened to glance some distance up the beach, they might have been surprised to see the
wealthiest man in Sanditon catch his young bride around the waist and swing her about in a
circle. And it’s possible they would have heard his wife’s laughter floating joyfully on the
breeze before the two of them embraced where anyone could plainly see them do so. And
although some might have frowned at such a display, most would have smiled to see a couple
who were so obviously in love sharing such a moment of unbridled happiness between them.

Chapter End Notes

First - Thank you all so much for the wonderfully positive responses to the last chapter.
I'm really proud of that chapter but I didn't expect the response to be as strong as it was.
Thank you all again for your support and comments here and on Twitter.

Second - Oof, this chapter was a hard one which is why it took so long for me to post
(by my ridiculously self-imposed fast-paced standard). I didn't actually intend to write
any type of details about Xander's father and childhood. It's a tough topic to tackle and a
very fine line to walk. But I revised my plan and began this chapter after the response to
the last one. I really struggled with Xander's father because I did not want that man to
live in my head. I'm not entirely happy with the end results but I reached the point where
I needed to accept it for what it was and let it go. And now, that demon has been slayed
and I promise we won't be speaking of him again.

*For cultural and religious reasons, the right hand has been favored among societies for
generations. As a result, in many societies, left-handed people have been historically
forced as children to use their right hands for tasks which they would naturally perform
with the left, such as eating or writing. Left-handedness became less stigmatized in the
late 20th century and, particularly in the Western World, left-handed children are no
longer forced to use their right hands.

*Scipio Africanus (236-183 BC) was considered the greatest general of his time and one
of the greatest in the history of Ancient Rome. He played a key role in defeating
Hannibal by driving his invading army out of the Iberian Peninsula.

*The Oxford University Michaelmas term runs from the end of September or beginning
of October to early December (roughly equivalent to a US university fall
quarter/semester).
 Family & Friends
Chapter Summary

Mostly just fluff and other stuff.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Family & Friends

Leo looked up from the book in her hands. “How about Thetis?”

Xander raised his eyes from the newspaper and pretended to give the question some
consideration. He found Leo’s suggestion to choose her new sibling’s name from Greek
mythology humorous and was happy to play along…even if it was highly unlikely such a
name would be selected in the end. “A sea nymph and goddess of water. Thetis Colbourne? I
think not.”

“Metis then?”

“Goddess of good counsel and planning. That sounds like your mother. Perhaps she should
change her name.” Charlotte smiled appreciatively and shook her head.

Augusta took the book from her cousin’s hands. “How about Eileithyia, the goddess of
childbirth. It seems appropriate.”

“Heavens no!” Charlotte exclaimed. “I would never name a child Eileithyia. She would hate
us forever. Besides, I do not recall agreeing to naming this baby after a Greek god.”

“Goddess, Aunt.” Augusta corrected her. “I am confident it is a girl. I suppose you would
prefer Demeter, Uncle. Goddess of agriculture.”

“As we make our living from the land, Augusta, I will never frown upon Demeter’s favor.
But that does not mean I would choose that name for my daughter. Neither would I choose
Cronus, the god of the harvest, for a son.”

“I like Pallas if it’s a boy,” Leo chimed in.

Augusta ran her finger down the pages and rolled her eyes. “Of course you do. The god of
battle and warcraft? How did you become so enamored with battles? I’m fairly certain your
father is a pacifist. He might have even joined Mr. Allen’s peace society if we lived in
Town.”
Xander exchanged a glance with his wife. “While I am against violence and war, Augusta, I
do not think joining any society would be something I would enjoy. I did little enough while
at university, I’m not about to take it up again now. Unless it is a mollusc society,” he winked
at Leo. “Then I shall happily take on the role of president.”

Leo laughed. “I would like that.”

“Were you actually in any societies at Oxford, Uncle?”

“One. The Ancient Languages Society.”

Charlotte snorted with amusement. “Of course you were.”

He narrowed his eyes and pressed her foot menacingly beneath his own under the table.
“Would you like the newspaper?”

“Yes, please,” Charlotte took it from his hands eagerly. “Leo, you have a spot of jam on your
shirt. You should change before we begin lessons.”

Leo ran from the room just as Mrs. Wheatley entered with a stack of letters in her hand.
“Letters for you both. And one for you as well, Miss Markham.”

“Oh, it is from your sister, Caroline, Aunt.” Augusta read the name on the letter happily.
“Excuse me, please.” She hurried from the room, eager to read her correspondence.

The two young women had struck up a friendship when they were in Willingden and he was
happy to see they were still writing, although it reminded him yet again of how alone his
niece must feel, with no one of her own age around. Although Charlotte was not so much
older than Augusta, the difference in their stages of life made them seem much further apart.

“Thank you, Mrs. Wheatley.” He flipped through the letters, handing one from her mother to
Charlotte before noticing the housekeeper was still standing next to the table. He raised his
eyebrows questioningly. It wasn’t like her to be so reticent to speak and her demeanor did not
seem particularly displeased so her hesitation was unusual. “Was there something else?”

The housekeeper drew herself up and pursed her lips. “The maids were wondering if there is
still a need to continue lighting a fire in the master bedroom, sir, as it hasn’t been used since
the week of Christmas. It seems a waste to continue to light it each evening only to have the
room remain unoccupied.”

Xander felt his ears begin to burn and glanced quickly at Charlotte. Her face was
conveniently hidden behind the raised newspaper and she was apparently refusing to lower it
given the current topic of conversation. However, he was quite happy to address the situation
if his wife wished to ignore it.

“There is one subject I will never argue with my wife about, Mrs. Wheatley, and that is where
I will sleep each night. Please tell the maids that they may forgo lighting it from now on
unless Mrs. Colbourne advises otherwise.” Charlotte made an oddly strangled sound from the
chair next to him, the newspaper trembling in her hands. He grasped her knee beneath the
table, causing her to jump slightly. “But please keep the fire laid in case Mrs. Colbourne has a
change of heart.” Ignoring Charlotte’s gasping cough, he returned Mrs. Wheatley’s long look
with a pleasant smile.

“I’ll see to it, Mr. Colbourne,” the housekeeper’s eyes danced with humor. “May I assume
that you will ensure Mrs. Colbourne is quite well as soon as I leave the room?”

His smile widened to a grin. “Of course, Mrs. Wheatley. I take my duties as a husband very
seriously.”

A whoop of laughter escaped from behind the newspaper as Charlotte slid down in her chair,
shaking the table so much the teacups rattled.

Mrs. Wheatley shook her head as she turned to leave. “Heaven help us all,” she muttered to
herself.

His wife peeked at him around the newspaper as soon as the housekeeper had left the room,
her face as red as his own must be. “You are incorrigible.”

Pushing the newspaper aside, he leaned towards her and captured her mouth in a kiss. “I
cannot help myself when I’m around you.”

“Hmm,” she pressed her hand against his cheek. “I find myself struggling with the same
problem at times.”

“Uck! How can you do that?”

They separated quickly and turned to find Leo staring at them with disgust. “It is a sign of
great affection, Leo,” Charlotte said, setting the paper aside. “Come here and I will show
you.” Leo narrowed her eyes suspiciously, taking a step backwards but Charlotte was much
too quick, snagging her around the waist and pressing a kiss to her cheek while tickling her.

The little girl laughed and leaned into Charlotte’s side. “Augusta said that the baby is
growing inside your tummy because you kiss Papa so often.”

“Did she?” Xander coughed and struggled to put forth a stern look. “It sounds as though
Augusta has been reading too many novels. But just in case, perhaps it would be best if you
do not kiss anyone, Leo. Ever.”

Charlotte let forth another burst of laughter. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, Leo.”

Xander pushed back his chair and stood. “It appears that today’s lessons will be about
biology. And perhaps Augusta should join you.” He sent his wife a warning look that was
met with a slightly offended one in return. “I shall leave you ladies to it.”

*****

“Where’s Papa?” Leo asked as she slipped into her chair at the drawing room table.
Charlotte poured cream into a teacup before lifting the teapot. “He went to the dairy this
afternoon with Mr. Swyft. They must have been delayed.”

“Why did Papa hire a steward? He never had one before.”

“Many estates of this size have stewards, or at least sons to help oversee the work running an
estate requires.” She handed the cup to Leo. “Your grandfather had a steward many years ago
when your father and uncle were growing up. Your father did not have one when he took over
the estate because he did all the work himself which is why he was always so busy. Now, he’s
decided that he would like to have less work so that he can spend more time with us and he’s
hired Mr. Swyft to be the new steward. But until Mr. Swyft has learned all he needs to know
about the estate, your father must spend a great deal of time with him.”

“If the baby is a boy, will he be expected to help Papa run the estate?”

“Mmm, that would be your father’s preference, yes, since, by law, the estate would pass to
his firstborn son.”

“Uncle Samuel was the firstborn and he didn’t want Heyrick Park. What if a son wouldn’t
want it? Could I do it instead?”

Not for the first time, she wondered what Xander would have done about the inheritance if
Leo had been born a boy, given that he was not her father by birth. Would he have continued
to claim that Leo was his child or would he have followed the law instead of his heart? She
was grateful that it was not a situation they would have to worry about. But there was still the
very real possibility that they would never have a son who would inherit Heyrick Park…or
even that a son of theirs would not wish to be confined to the life he had been born into rather
than one he chose for himself. They were both possibilities that would require lengthy and
emotional discussions if either scenario ever came to pass.

“I’m afraid our laws wouldn’t allow you to inherit, Leo. But your father will ensure that
Heyrick Park…and our family and all our tenants…are in the best possible hands, no matter
who inherits one day.”

“Hrmph,” Leo grunted her disapproval as she crossed her arms and slumped down in her
seat.

“Hrmph, indeed.” Charlotte completely understood Leo’s opinion on the laws that unfairly
prevented women from inheriting. She looked up from putting a slice of cake onto Leo’s
plate just as Augusta entered the room. “You have a rather strange look on your face,
Augusta. Is something the matter?”

Augusta chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully as she joined them at the table. “I had a letter
this morning from Caroline.”

Charlotte nodded, recalling as well the unopened letter from her mother. “Yes, I remember. I
received a letter from our mother today as well. I meant to read it after tea. Caroline did not
have bad news, did she?”
“No,” Augusta shook her head quickly. “She did not have bad news. It is only…well, I do not
know if I should tell you. Perhaps you should read the letter from your mother first.”

“It’s fine, Augusta,” Charlotte said patiently, her curiosity piqued. “You may tell me whatever
the news is. I’m sure if it was anything of too much consequence, she would have sent the
letter by express and you’ve already said it is not bad news.”

“Caroline is engaged to be married.”

“Engaged? Well that is a surprise.” She wracked her brain, certain that her mother had not
mentioned her younger sister having any particular suitors. Caroline was of age to marry and
there were more than a few sons of local farmers who would be lucky to have her as their
wife. “Did she say who the lucky gentleman is?”

“She’s engaged to Mr. Starling.”

Now the reason for Augusta’s odd expression was apparent. To say that she was surprised
was an understatement. In the immediate aftermath of her own broken engagement to Ralph
and subsequent marriage, her mother had not mentioned him in any of her letters. Since
Christmas, there had been a few mentions of him, but they were all in passing and nothing
had given any indication of an attachment developing between him and her sister. Whatever
had been occurring between them had intentionally been kept from her until now.

Raising her eyes, she noted that Augusta was watching her closely. “Did you think the news
would upset me?”

“I’m not really sure,” she admitted. “I think if I were to learn that Edward Denham was
marrying someone, I would feel a bit odd about it. And I loathe him. You hold no hard
feelings towards Mr. Starling.”

“Well, you can hardly compare Ralph to Edward Denham. Ralph is a good man and he will
be a good husband. I am only surprised because my mother did not mention that there was
any type of connection between him and Caroline.”

“Perhaps she thought it might upset you.”

“Perhaps,” she agreed. She hoped that wasn’t the case but it seemed the most likely reason to
explain why her mother would have kept her in the dark about the match. “Did Caroline say
when the wedding was to be?”

“The end of the month.”

“So soon?”

“Her letter mentioned wanting to be married before the planting began.”

“Of course,” she nodded. “Ralph will be very busy once the planting begins.” She forced a
smile. “Well, it seems I will need to read my mother’s letter and send a response right away
congratulating them both.”
“I’m glad you’re not upset. Caroline seemed very happy in her letter.”

“Of course I’m happy for them.”

“I will be happy to visit Willingden again,” Leo declared. “And it will be fun to go to another
wedding. I hope the cake is as nice as yours was.”

“It will be delicious, Leo,” she assured her with a smile. “And there will be lots of dancing.”
A thought struck her quite suddenly and she nearly groaned aloud. “You do know what this
means, don’t you?”

Augusta and Leo exchanged blank looks.

She sighed and scrunched up her nose in annoyance. “I am going to have to buy a new
dress.”

*****

Charlotte looked up from her needlework as he entered her sitting room. “Hello, Husband,”
she smiled. “We missed you at tea. I assume that you were held up with Mr. Swyft at the
dairy?”

He brushed a kiss across her cheek and slumped down onto the settee next to her. “Yes and
I’m very sorry to have missed tea. How was your afternoon otherwise?”

“Hmm,” she hummed, setting her needlework aside. “It was rather interesting, actually.”
They both looked up as a maid entered with a tea tray and set it down on the table. She shook
her head in amusement as the maid disappeared out the door. “Heaven forbid Mrs. Wheatley
ever let the master of the estate miss a chance to eat.”

He grinned and reached for a small sandwich from the tray as Charlotte poured them each a
cup of tea. “Her greatest fear is that I will starve one day without her. What happened while I
was out that was so interesting?”

“You recall that there were letters from my mother and sister this morning?”

“Of course.”

“They contained the news that Caroline is engaged to be married. To Ralph Starling.”

He paused chewing and studied her for a long moment before swallowing. “That is
interesting.”

Although he’d only known her for less than a year and had visited her family home in
Willingden, Xander tended to forget that his wife had had a life before she came to Heyrick
Park. He certainly preferred to forget about the period of time between him sending her away
last summer and her return in the autumn, when her arrival with Ralph Starling had forced
him to recognize that Charlotte would not wait for him to come to his senses and beg for her
forgiveness. He did not care to dwell on the dark days when Charlotte’s heart had not been
wholly his. And while he did not doubt that she loved him and had no regrets over her choice
to marry him, he could not help still feeling a twinge of jealousy towards the man who’d
known Charlotte for her entire life and for a few short months had been lucky enough to have
her on his arm while he was barely surviving without her.

“How do you feel about their engagement?”

She shrugged. “If this is what they both wish, then I’m pleased for them.”

He frowned as he tried his best to recollect any mention of his wife’s sister and her former
betrothed forming an attachment in the past few months. “Forgive me if I’ve forgotten but did
you tell me that Mr. Starling was courting your sister?”

Charlotte shook her head. “No, I did not. Neither my mother nor Caroline have mentioned it
before now. Ralph has barely appeared in any of my mother’s letters.”

“So they kept it from you?” He refrained from giving voice to another less acceptable option
and those reasons that would necessitate a sudden engagement.

“It does seem so. And I really cannot fathom why they would feel it was necessary.”

He could only imagine how complex Charlotte’s feelings regarding the news of the marriage
were. According to her, she and Ralph had been thrown together since infancy, their parents
making no efforts to hide their desires that the two would one day marry. Ralph had been one
of her closest childhood friends and she held a great deal of affection for him. She had agreed
to marry him when her heart had been broken, knowing that he was a good and decent man
who would care for her. Short as their engagement was, she had thought for a time that she
would spend the remainder of her life with him. Knowing that he would now spend that life
with her sister…that he would be her brother by marriage…had to, at the very least, feel
strange to her.

He could tell that the thought that a courtship between the two was kept from her upset her a
great deal, even if she wasn’t ready to admit it. “It’s understandable if you’re upset, Charlotte.
Either because your parents kept it from you or because your sister is marrying the man
you’d once thought you would marry.”

“No, my love,” she grasped his hand firmly, her expression fierce in its intensity. “I can only
assume that my parents kept it from me because, like you, they thought I might be upset by
the news. But I assure you, that’s not the case. I’m truly not upset that they are marrying. And
I have no right to be. I am the one who wished to be freed from our engagement. I did not
love Ralph as a wife should love her husband.” She placed her hand against his cheek. “I
wished to marry the man I loved with all my heart or no one at all. If they truly love each
other, then I only wish for them to be happy.”

He took her hand and pressed a kiss against the inside of her wrist. “And if it is not a love
match? What if they are marrying because your parents encouraged the match as a
replacement for you after your own engagement to Mr. Starling ended?”

She looked at him with clear concern in her eyes. “It did cross my mind. Is that a terrible
thing to think of one’s parents?”
He pondered the idea carefully. His father in law had been very disappointed when his eldest
daughter had ended her engagement to the young farmer. “I know your parents considered a
match between the two of you to be advantageous to both families. I don’t believe that’s
likely to have changed.”

She sighed. “No, I don’t believe so either.”

*****

It had not been an over-exaggeration on her part when Charlotte had expressed her dread of
having to order yet another dress for her sister’s wedding. Years of being told that every last
penny was to be saved for necessities had instilled in her a deep seeded thriftiness. When she
and Xander had become engaged and it became necessary for her to expand her wardrobe to
one befitting the wife of a man of such means, she’d bitten her tongue and forced herself to
accept the guidance of Mary and Susan in choosing clothing that cost far more than she’d
ever imagined spending. And while she had been grateful for the new clothing when they
were in London, she still preferred to wear simpler dresses than most women of her station
would.

And while those gowns and dresses were suitable for London or even when attending social
functions in Sanditon, they were too fancy for Willingden. She did not want to make her own
family feel as though she had risen above them and she certainly did not wish to draw
attention away from Caroline on her wedding day. And even if she’d determined that
something in her wardrobe would be suitable, the child growing within her necessitated
purchasing a new dress. Well, more than one new dress would be needed, if she was being
honest. But there would be time enough for that later.

The bell above the door of Griffin’s rang cheerfully when she and Augusta entered the
dressmaker’s shop. The proprietor, Mrs. Griffin, hurried towards them, anxious to greet
returning customers she knew capable of spending a generous amount of money.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Colbourne, Miss Markham. How may I assist you today?”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Griffin. I’m in need of a dress for my sister’s wedding in a month’s
time.”

“Another new dress? My, Mr. Colbourne is quite generous, isn’t he?”

Charlotte flushed. It was difficult enough for her to order a new dress without having Mrs.
Griffin comment on it. She glanced around the shop but saw no one besides Augusta. “Yes,”
she forced a smile. “Very generous indeed. The wedding will be in the village I grew up in so
I do not require anything too extravagant. I’d prefer it to be rather simple, in fact.”

The bell above the door rang again and an older, elegantly dressed woman entered. “Good
morning,” Mrs. Griffin called cheerfully. “I have another customer but I’ll be with you as
soon as possible.”

The woman nodded politely as she began inspecting the display of ribbons near the counter.
“Please, take your time. I am in no hurry.”
“Now, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mrs. Griffin pulled out the latest pattern books, opening them to the
pages with the patterns she had preferred when she was here a few months prior. “Would you
like something similar in style to what you had made in the autumn or do you think you’d
prefer something different?”

“These are all lovely but I was thinking of something with some additional pleating here,”
Charlotte pointed to an image on the page, her cheeks burning. While it would be clear
enough that she was expecting in another month or two, she did not feel a need to publicize it
sooner than necessary to anyone other than their family and closest friends.

Mrs. Griffin’s brows raised slightly for a brief moment before her features softened with
understanding. She reached beneath the counter. “Ah, I understand completely, Mrs.
Colbourne. Let me show you this other pattern book. I believe it will better suit your needs.”

In a short amount of time, Charlotte had selected a pattern that she felt suited her needs for
the wedding but would also allow for her growing stomach as the seasons moved into spring
and then summer. With Augusta’s help, she chose a lovely white fabric sprinkled with pale
green sprigs of leaves and matching green ribbon for the trim.

“Although I have your measurements from the autumn,” Mrs. Griffin advised as she took
notes in her book, “I do recommend that you come in for another fitting…given the
circumstances,” she gave her a knowing look. “Perhaps the week before the wedding?”

Charlotte was acutely aware of the older woman who was now hovering behind her, waiting
patiently for her turn. “Of course, Mrs. Griffin. That shouldn’t be a problem.”

“And do let me offer my congratulations, Mrs. Colbourne,” Mrs. Griffin gushed as she
prepared to depart the shop. “If you need anything else over the coming months, please do
not hesitate to come and see me. I’ll be very happy to assist you in making whatever you
need. My seamstresses are quite skilled and will be ready whenever you require their
services.”

With a quick look towards Augusta, she clasped her reticule and nodded. “Thank you, Mrs.
Griffin. I do appreciate all of your help.”

*****

Xander entered the hall just as the maid entered with her pelisse, bonnet and gloves. Taking
the pelisse from the maid, he held it out for her. “You’re off to Sanditon House then?”

She pulled a face as she fastened the buttons. “Yes, as soon as Mary arrives. She graciously
offered her carriage for myself and Miss Hankins.”

“Well, I cannot say I envy you,” he laughed. “But I do hope you can find some enjoyment
with the other ladies.”

The sound of a carriage coming to a stop outside the door alerted them to Mary’s arrival.
Opening the door, Xander stood back so she could pass and then walked her to the carriage
and handed her inside. He leaned closer as she took her seat opposite the two women. “Good
afternoon, Mrs. Parker, Miss Hankins.” He gave Charlotte a pointed look. “I don’t suppose I
need to remind you that arguing with Lady Denham does no good?”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, even as she bit back a smile. “No, you do not.” She
smoothed her dress over her knees. “But I draw the line at letting her win at cards.”

He chuckled and stepped back, closing the door to the carriage before giving a nod to the
coachmen that they could leave. She noted to herself that he did not walk back into the house
until they were well down the drive.

“Mr. Colbourne seems to be a most attentive husband,” Miss Hankins said as they turned
onto the road.

“At times he can be too attentive.”

“He worries about you,” Mary chided gently, knowing very well why Xander was more
concerned about his wife than he normally might be. “He just wants to make sure you are
safe and happy.”

“And that I do not start a feud with Lady Denham,” Charlotte laughed.

“That too,” Mary agreed with a smile. “Something we would all do well to remember.”

The drive in front of Sanditon House held a few other carriages, courtesy of the other ladies
in Sanditon that Lady Denham deemed suitable enough to invite to her card parties and
Charlotte and Mary quickly reassured Miss Hankins when she began to worry that they were
late. Exiting the carriage, they made their way inside, handing off their outer garments to the
servants before moving into the drawing room where the other ladies were gathered, sipping
tea in small groups.

As they made their way around the room, greeting everyone and making polite conversation,
Charlotte was somewhat surprised to see the woman that had been in Griffin’s earlier in the
week speaking to Lady Denham. “Mary, do you know who that is with Lady Denham?”

Mary looked across the room and shook her head. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen her before,
Charlotte. Why?”

“No particular reason,” she replied. “She was in Griffin’s the other day when Augusta and I
stopped in. She seems to know Lady Denham.”

Having noted the latest arrivals, Lady Denham separated herself from the group she’d been
conversing with and approached, the woman from Griffin’s a step behind. “Ah, Mrs. Parker,
Mrs. Colbourne, allow me to introduce Lady Pembroke, a cousin of my late husband. Mrs.
Parker is the wife of the man responsible for so much of the new development in town. And
Mrs. Colbourne’s husband is the owner of Heyrick Park and a fellow investor in Sanditon.”

“A pleasure to meet you, my lady,” Mary nodded. “I hope you’re finding Sanditon a pleasant
place to visit.”
“I am indeed, Mrs. Parker. I heard so much about the town that I just knew I needed to
experience it for myself. I only wish I had visited before my late cousin’s passing. Still, Lady
Denham has been so kind as to welcome me.”

“I’m certain you will find much to love about the town, my lady,” Charlotte added. “I myself
found that Sanditon quickly felt like home when I first arrived. Everyone was so welcoming
and the sea air is so invigorating.”

Lady Pembroke turned her attention to Charlotte. “I’ve found it all so very interesting, Mrs.
Colbourne. And I believe I must offer you my congratulations.”

Caught off guard by the older woman’s unexpected felicitations, Charlotte’s eyes flickered to
hers. Although Lady Pembroke’s countenance was pleasant enough, there was a strange
coldness to her eyes. Her stomach sank. Had she heard Mrs. Griffin offer her congratulations
and guessed that she was with child? She preferred to keep the news that their family would
be growing well-guarded for the time being.

Lady Pembroke noted her hesitation. “I understand you were recently married?” she
prompted.

Relief washed over her. “Yes, my lady, at the end of November.”

“Their engagement surprised us all.” Lady Denham was, as always, happy to voice her
opinions. “It seems no one knew there was any sort of attachment between them before it was
announced. This after she was so determined that she would never marry.”

Charlotte flushed. Of course no one had known. Had they, it would have caused quite the
scandal. As it was, the rumors had swirled as soon as the news of their impending marriage
had spread and she had little doubt that Lady Denham had delighted in them.

“You will not find a more well-suited couple,” Mary said quickly. “Mr. Colbourne is a most
attentive and loving husband. And he’s very well-regarded by everyone in Sanditon.”

Charlotte sent her friend a grateful look. She was determined to not allow Lady Denham to
get under her skin but the older woman made it such a challenge most days.

“You’ve missed my last few card parties, Mrs. Colbourne. I hope you have not been
following your husband’s example and avoiding Society.”

Charlotte forced a smile. Lady Denham knew very well that Xander had been far more social
since the previous summer and her attempted slight carried very little sting as a result. “My
apologies, Lady Denham, I’ve been a little under the weather lately. But I’m feeling much
better now.”

Lady Denham exchanged a look with Lady Pembroke. “I hope it was not a recurrence of the
illness that went through Sanditon before Christmas.”

“No, my lady,” Charlotte assured her. “My sister-in-law and I were lucky enough to escape
that illness, although the rest of the household was not as lucky.”
Lady Denham made a disapproving sound. “I still find it quite incomprehensible that Lady
Susan de Clemente gave up her title to marry a common lawyer.”

“It’s quite simple, my lady,” Charlotte sipped her tea. “They are in love and wished to marry.
Her title held no importance for her in comparison to her happiness.”

“Hmph,” the older woman frowned. “A foolish reason if you ask me. But then I suppose you
would say that your own husband’s wealth and status had little to do with your decision to
marry him.”

“You’re very lucky indeed if your marriage was a love match, Mrs. Colbourne, not all women
can say the same.” Mrs. Pembroke looked at her intently, her eyes narrowed slightly as
though she was silently judging her response.

She glanced at Mary who shook her head slightly. She pursed her lips. “I did marry for love,
my lady. And I am well aware of how lucky I am. I believe that women should be encouraged
to marry for love, rather than just for money or a title. Money and titles cannot buy happiness
after all.”

“It’s all well and good for you to say that now , Mrs. Colbourne, after you ended your
engagement with that farmer from your village,” Lady Denham said pointedly. “You certainly
did well for yourself, Mrs. Colbourne. A fine home on a large estate and a wealthy husband.”
Her eyes moved down her figure as though she was well aware of the child already growing
there. “I’m certain you’ll be welcoming children soon enough as well. And you only just
married.”

Charlotte pinched the inside of her wrist. She did not appreciate Lady Denham sharing her
history so freely with Lady Pembroke but she knew all too well that people talked whether
she was there to hear them do so or not.

“I believe everything worked out the way it was meant to in the end, my lady.”

*****

Charlotte stopped outside Leo’s bedroom, just beyond the entrance to their suite. She could
hear Xander and Leo talking softly, the occasional giggle from Leo eliciting an answering
chuckle from her father. Warmth imbued her body as she listened to her husband and
daughter together, a moment that would have been impossible to imagine a year ago.

Moving into their bedroom, she allowed Cora to assist her with removing her dress and stays
before dismissing her for the night. She slipped into a nightgown and braided her hair before
climbing into bed. Her thoughts went back to the afternoon she’d spent at Sanditon House
and the odd feeling she’d gotten from Lady Pembroke. Thinking back over everything the
older woman had said, she truly could not account for the feeling but it remained nonetheless.
She looked up as Xander entered their bedroom, closing the door behind him before sitting
down on one of the chairs to remove his boots.

“Leo spent the past half hour telling me all about how she wants to be a palace guard and
protect the king when she grows up.” He stood, his hands moving quickly to unfasten the
buttons of his waistcoat and shirt before removing both. “Now we shall have to find a way of
deterring her from her latest plan.”

Heat spread through her at the sight of him, the muscles of his arms and chest on display in
the golden light of the candles that burned around the room. She knew every inch of those
arms, had felt them wrapped around her more times than she could count, and she relished
each and every time. They had a way of making her feel safe and loved. And his hands. She
could almost feel his hands caressing her….

“Charlotte.”

She blinked and raised her eyes up to find a smug grin on his face. Her cheeks heated with
embarrassment at being caught admiring her husband’s figure. She sank down further in the
bed, pulling the coverlet up over her head as he began to laugh softly. A moment passed and
then she felt his weight next to her on the bed.

“Are you actually hiding from me?” She could hear the amusement in his voice.

“No.”

He tugged on the blankets until she relinquished them. His face was solemn but his eyes were
dancing. “Why is your face red? Are you feeling alright? Do you feel feverish?”

She smacked at his hand as he moved to feel her forehead. “Don’t tease me!”

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, Charlotte. We are married, after all. Every time I look at
you, I want to carry you to this bed and not leave this room for days on end.”

“That’s well and good for a man, but a woman showing such desires is considered wantonly
behavior.”

An amused sound came from the back of his throat. “I don’t believe that applies to your own
husband.” He reached for the ribbons on the front of her night dress. “Why did you even
bother putting this on?”

“Because unlike you, I have some modesty. I suppose I should have known, considering you
are only half-dressed most of the time. Do you realize that you’ve only worn a night shirt to
bed a handful of times since we’ve been married, aside from when you were sick?” she
countered. “What must the maids think?”

He leaned closer, kissing her just beneath her collar bone. “You’re so certain I wore one
before we were married?”

She pushed his shoulders back, shocked by his suggestion. “Did you?”

He laughed at her expression. “Yes, of course! What would Leo have thought if she’d come
into my room in the middle of the night?” He ran a finger along the swell of her breast. “Is it
so terrible to prefer the feel of your skin against mine instead of nightclothes? You cannot
hold it against me that I enjoy sleeping with my wife.”
She ignored his question and the way his mouth had moved quite a bit lower. “I think you are
confusing sleeping with something else.” A gasp escaped her lips and she wove her fingers
through his hair. “This is why we are already having a child so soon after we were married.”

His lips curved against her skin. “It is a well-known possibility of what might occur when
men and women share a bed. And if I recall correctly, you insisted that we share a bed. In
fact, you were rather adamant about it.”

“Do you know how frustrating it is to have you remind me of my own words when I’m trying
to argue with you?”

“I do know how much you love to argue with me.”

When he looked at her with those warm amber eyes, so full of desire, with that half smile on
his lips, she melted inside, warmth unfurling inside her and spreading throughout her body.
“I’m not arguing now.”

He sat back and tugged at the bottom of her nightgown until she raised her hips, allowing him
to push it past her waist. She sat up so he could pull it over her head. “Now,” he kissed her
tenderly, “where were we?”

*****

When the carriage stopped outside the church, Xander quickly opened the door and stepped
down before turning and lifting Leo to the ground. He handed out Augusta before taking
Charlotte’s hand to assist her down. She slipped her hand around his arm as they walked the
short distance up the walk towards the church.

As they were somewhat early for the service, Leo had run ahead to greet the Parker children
and Augusta had been waylaid by Miss Hankins, likely about some new piece of music.
Seeing that Tom and Mary had been drawn into conversation with Lady Denham, he gently
tugged Charlotte to a stop before they were drawn into the group, preferring to not begin his
Sunday discussing the current state of the improvements his investment in the town had
funded.

Charlotte nudged him with a knowing look. “If you believe that you are being subtle in your
avoidance, you are mistaken,” she teased. “

“They may think what they wish. I need more sleep and a long ride on Hannibal before I can
tolerate both of them at the same time.”

“If you’re so tired, you should try going to sleep earlier.”

He chuckled softly at her recommendation. His gaze traveled across the growing group of
parishioners renewing acquaintances before entering the church, noting that more than a few
eyes were directed towards them. “Why do I feel as though people are watching us?” It
reminded him of when news of their engagement had become common knowledge and
rumors about their relationship had run rampant.
Charlotte glanced quickly around, taking note of the various small groups of ladies who were
surreptitiously looking in their direction and then speaking animatedly to each other. “I’m
getting the same impression.” Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him. “I’m just grateful
that my pelisse covers any sign that I’m with child,” she whispered, brushing her hand down
the front of the garment.

He frowned, confused by her statement. “Why? It’s not as though you can hide it for much
longer.”

She glanced around them before answering quietly. “Yesterday, at Sanditon House, I got the
impression that Lady Denham suspects that there’s a child already on the way. By the looks
we are receiving, I’m guessing she is not the only one.”

“It’s not as if it would surprise anyone. We are married after all. Having children is
expected.”

“I agree. It’s just….”

Usually not one to take other’s negative opinions to heart, he was surprised to see how truly
concerned she looked. “Charlotte?” He covered her hands with his. “What has you so
worried?”

“I hope that I am wrong, Xander, but I pray the baby’s not born early or I fear there will be
more rumors. In fact, I pray our child is a little late in coming into the world. I am certain that
Lady Denham is ready to count the days since our wedding as soon as she hears the baby's
been born.”

He looked at her sharply. “Did she really suggest such a thing? What did she say?”

“Truly nothing of consequence. Only allusions to my already being with child. But you know
as well as I do that there were rumors when we became engaged that I tempted you into
marriage, that I am a money-hungry opportunist who took advantage of the town’s reclusive,
rich widower. I would not put it past the gossip mongers to speculate that our child was
conceived before we married.”

Xander was appalled by the very idea. “I cannot believe that anyone in this town would
believe such a thing or that Lady Denham would spread such falsehoods. Even she is not that
horrid and she knows better than to risk inciting my anger after what happened with her
nephew. And how would she even know you’re with child? It’s not as though it’s obvious
yet.”

She sighed. “I suppose when a bride buys a whole new wardrobe only a few months ago and
then comes back for new dresses so soon, it’s an easy assumption to make. If anyone were to
so much as hint to Mrs. Griffin they’d heard I am with child already, I doubt she would keep
it a secret. She is not particularly well known for her discretion.”

A bitter taste filled his mouth. He had assumed that the gossip surrounding their marriage had
died out once people had recognized that Charlotte was the far superior half of their union
and he was the one who had everything to gain by marrying her, rather than the other way
around. That anyone would now be speculating about their child sickened him.

“There’s little you can do about needing clothing that fits you as the baby grows but I don’t
like you going to Sanditon House if Lady Denham is going to treat you with any disrespect.
You believe Mrs. Griffin said something to her?”

Charlotte shook her head. “That woman standing next to Lady Denham is Lady Pembroke, a
cousin of Lady Denham’s late husband. She was at Sanditon House yesterday. She was also
in Griffin’s when Augusta and I went to order a dress for Caroline’s wedding. She offered me
her congratulations and I’d hoped it was just for our marriage. But if she heard Mrs. Griffin
congratulate me, it’s possible she guessed the reason and she could have easily mentioned it
to Lady Denham.”

“And your impression of this woman was that she is one to spread gossip?”

“You know I try to see the best in everyone until proven otherwise,” she hedged.

“However?”

Charlotte shrugged. “For some reason that I cannot put my finger on, I felt as though her
good wishes were not entirely genuine. She seemed cold to me, although I can’t fathom
why.”

“What possible reason could a woman that neither of us knows have to start rumors about
us?”

“I hate to suggest such a thing, Xander, since we have no evidence that she has said anything
to anyone. But I cannot think of any other reason for the sudden attention or Lady Denham’s
insinuations.”

“Amongst all foes, that a friend should be the worst.”

“Is Lady Denham a friend?”

“Lady Pembroke is coming this way, Charlotte.”

Lady Pembroke approached with a pleasant expression on her face. “Mrs. Colbourne, it’s
lovely to see you again.”

Charlotte smiled politely. “Lady Pembroke, may I introduce my husband, Mr. Alexander
Colbourne?”

Xander gave the expected bow. “A pleasure to meet you, my lady.”

“And you as well, Mr. Colbourne. I’ve heard so much about you. May I offer you the same
congratulations I gave to your wife yesterday?”

Xander stiffened as Charlotte’s hands tightened around his arm. “Congratulations, my lady?”
 Just as his wife had suggested, Lady Pembroke’s smile was pleasant enough but her eyes
seemed oddly flat, hard even. “On your recent marriage, of course, Mr. Colbourne.”

He eyed her speculatively. “Of course, my lady.”

Chapter End Notes

Yep, sweet #kaleboi Ralph is still kicking around the Heywood house. And if the
internet can speculate on the Colbourne baby, so can the people of Sanditon.

*The London Peace Society (also known as the Society for the Promotion of Permanent
and Universal Peace) was formed in 1816 to promote permanent and universal peace by
the philanthropist William Allen.
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!