Feedback Form for PYCM115

Student Number: 710065953

Assignment: Observational Report
Year: 1

Indicate Mark Below

First submission Resubmission 1 Resubmission 2
PASS

MINOR AMENDMENT PASS

(i) Typos, spelling etc
(ii) Omissions/improvement FAIL
that do not alter
conclusions OUTSTANDING PASS
AMENDMENTS
FAIL
MAJOR AMENDMENT
(i) Omissions/improvements PASS
may alter conclusions
(ii) Major reorganisation
required
(iii) New piece of work
required MINOR PASS
AMENDMENT
(i) Typos,
spelling etc FAIL
(ii) Omissions/
improveme
nt that do
not alter
conclusions

FAIL

First Submission

To achieve a ‘Pass’ grade, doctoral standard must be achieved for all assessed criteria (i.e.
achievement of an E or S for all assessed criteria)
E (Extensive)
S (Sufficient)
I (Insufficient)
Section
Please insert your
comments and any
suggested amendments into
the appropriate box.
Overall
Rationale for choice of
method appropriate to
setting
Getting behind the surface:
generation of thick
description; making the
obvious problematic
Reflexivity – use of
transference and counter-
transference, use of peer
supervision, demonstration of
a plurality of perspectives
Critical analysis/thinking;
evaluation of own ideological
stance; consideration of other
discourses.
Summary of arguments/
implications for wider
community/practice
Awareness of ethics – the
impact of the enquiry on the
institution, and on those
involved.
Style/presentation
E S I
The essay is well written and well organized. You identify some
key themes and discuss these. You identify some relevant
literature which you apply to the setting. However, the report
lacks detailed examples from the observation, to illustrate and
also to show how you came to your views. However you then do
develop some interesting, reflective and thoughtful conclusions
I
You seem to get very preoccupied with the issue of whether you
need agreement to undertake this observation (and this is further
commented on in ethics, below). You do reflect well on this, and
especially relating to your sense of guilt. You also position
yourself as undertaking research and generating findings, which is
not the purpose of the observational experience.
I
As noted above, the essay lacks many detailed sustained examples
of thick description from the observations. The most vivid
example is your own experience as a teenager. The section on ‘I
love how…” on page 8 is a good insight and could have been
developed.
I
You mention transference/counter-transference, and you do reflect
on your emotional experiences of the observation; the discussion
and conclusion sections are well thought through.
S
The sections on surveillance and inclusion/exclusion show
sustained thinking about these issues, and you connect these with
your theoretical framework
S
Your discussion and conclusions do make a sustained case for
thinking about the structural power relations in the museum.
I
You are preoccupied with obtaining agreement for your
observations, but also dismiss the importance of the ethical issue
of observing people (staff and visitors), and that this is therefore a
different function from the usual observations taking place in a
museum. You also situate your observation as research, as
mentioned above, which it is not, and this would need a more
comprehensive ethical review.
S
 Well written and presented

Referencing S
References are fine. (It is more usual to cite Freud’s work as
Freud, S. (year) title, Standard Edition, volume)
Spelling/grammar/typos S

Well written and presented. The word ‘compliancy’ should be

‘compliance’

First Submission (if appropriate) specify required changes and areas for improvement with
suggestions for how improvements could be made for the assignment to reach a pass standard

To achieve a pass standard:

1. Rewrite the sections on ethics (page 1-2) and research (page 2) to recognize the nature of the
task of observing, for your own learning, and the differences between this and research
2. Correct typos and spellings, including ‘compliancy’
3. Rephrase the section on transference-countertransference to recognize that it is through
detailed descriptive observations that the possibility of approaching unconscious processes in
the organisation arises.
4. Replace the term ‘researcher’ with ‘observer’ in the conclusion (first line)

Resubmission 1 General Comments/Evaluation (and please detail any required Minor

Amendments if following a Major Amendment, or Outstanding Amendments if following a
Minor Amendment)