Hiram Reyes

2/7/24

Peer Review (content) – Michelle Hernandez

1. Hey Michelle! I can start by saying after reviewing your essay your MLA format is correct.
2. Moving on, I believe that your essay does present a controlling idea which if I'm not mistaken is
the ACE program's significance in supporting students and their journey. The thing about this
essay is I think that it describes its services and impacts rather than the purpose and analytics of
the program. Although the essay gives information to people who don’t know about ACE, going
into depth about the program's implications could help your essay develop more.

3/4 As I previously mentioned, your essay is more focused on describing ACE instead of giving direct
observations and its specific genre/characteristics to the reader. Something you could do to fix this is
reinforce more specific observations. Besides that, I do think your essay does contain a cohesive
focus on your controlling idea but does tangent every now and then because of said reasons.

5. The language and tone of your essay are appropriate – clear, and formal with proper grammar and
vocabulary

6. Your conclusion can use improvement on the three questions that are provided, instead of cutting it
real short, I think you can elaborate a bit on it to explain “why is this important” and “what do I want
my audience to do with this information”. You can leave it as is but if you want to strengthen your
conclusion I would recommend this to keep the reader engaged.

7/8. A couple of places you could improve details could be your thesis and paragraph in which you
talked about educational challenges. In your thesis you can be more explicit with your main argument
and controlling idea…being clearer about what you are aiming at would provide better insight to
readers. For your paragraph about educational challenges, you could give a more specific example
that will improve the structure of the essay. This also falls under the question of where you need more
evidence.

9. Three places you deserve praise for is your clear introduction, your overview of the ACE program,
and your focus on the student-centric approach

10. Three text places you should fix before submitting your essay:

 Thesis (clarity)
 Conclusion (Three questions)
 Supporting evidence (give more)

10. The author had chosen one and only one genre to analyze and is not a video or an image.
Hiram Reyes
2/7/24

Peer Review (Editing) – Michelle Hernandez

1. Your essay is well organized. Your paragraphs flow and have a main idea to your thesis.
Something you could improve on is adding more information to your conclusion to keep your
essay flowing.
2. There is a couple of places where your essay could use better transitions, these would be your
introduction to your thesis, and your body paragraph to your conclusion. This would connect your
essay better.
3. From my knowledge, you don’t have fragments comma splices, or run-ons.
4. As previously mentioned, you can use more details to further push your claim in your thesis.
5. Your style and tone for the essay is inappropriate for the audience.
6. Your essay gives a good variety of sentence structure and word choices…something you can do is
strengthen simple words with synonyms to give your essay more diversity.

7/8. Your essay is balanced in the sense that you didn’t overwhelm or underwhelm on information
given, but again more specific details could be used to make your essay just right. Furthermore, your
essay is not confusing because of information that is either given too much or given to little.

9. The essay is in correct MLA format

10. Author strengths

 Clear introduction
 Student Centric Approach
 Information given.

Author Weaknesses

 Thesis clarity
 Details
 Conclusion

Revisions suggestions

 Conclusion questions
 Thesis clarity