The Challenges and Triumphs of the Family Stage with Adolescents

"Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great

heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter" stated by the former governor of

Oklahoma, Brad Henry (Sinrich, 2023). Family stages are the different phases that

happen in life through time. These stages have varied family structure because each

family is unique as they are. According to Lauer and Lauer (1997), these family stages

initially start between families as each family includes 1) unattached young adults,

wherein there is establishment of self in work and individuals aim to develop their own

intimate relationships. This would soon be followed by the stage of 2) joining families

through marriage: the newly married couple, in this stage there is realignment of

relationships within the immediate family and the in-laws or the extended families to be

included and recognized. After the some period of time, with the process of accepting

new members in the form of children or offspring into the family system which are called

3) family with young children. As the children grow older, some of the boundaries

would have to adapt in becoming more flexible with the a 4) family with adolescents;

there is a prompt shift toward concerns for the older generation wherein communication

between the parent and adolescents is more highlighted. Moreover, in the phase of 5)

launching children and moving on, the system accepts numerous forms of exits and

entries like how the grown adults are soon to move out to start their independent lives.

This is followed by the last stage which is the 6) family in later life, this is where the

foundational system of family which now includes the elderly couple would have to

adapt in accepting the shifting generational roles as they grow older and become
providers of wisdom and guidance to the younger generation. The essence of these

family stages is further illustrated on the journey of families as they also progress

through time, with the family dynamics changing needs due to circumstances,

personalities, socio-economic status, culture, technology, and lifespan (Moore et al.,

2018). According to Bi et al. (2018), there are different studies in the field of

parent-adolescent relationships that have discovered the significant relationship

between parenting styles such as authoritative and authoritarian style; and

characteristics of parent-adolescent relationships such as cohesion and conflict.

Adolescence is the period of major physiological and psychological changes that have

significant impact on parent-child relationships. Parents and adolescents must

restructure their roles and work towards a more equal relationship. Although

disagreements between parents become more heated and common during adolescents,

these disagreements are also regarded to be a way for parents and children to

negotiate relational changes. The short-term dispute between the parent and child that

take place during conflict exchanges are vital in the formation of parent-child

relationships. In the event that a family conflict is prevalent in a family specifically

between the parent and the adolescent; it is directly linked to the adolescent’s

development. Parent-adolescent relationship that has a greater emotional variability

when encountering conflict is likely to adapt and rearrange their relationships more

efficiently in response to adolescents’ developmental requirements. Hence, when

parents and adolescents are capable of switching between a spectrum of positive and

negative emotions, then these said disputes, conflicts, or disagreements are beneficial

for relational development (Branje, 2018).

 In line with the topic, stages in the family cycle, three people were interviewed

from different families to discuss their issues and what factors they consider before

making decisions. After interviewing the mother or the decision-maker it becomes clear

that every family has its own stage wherein difficulties and key events occur. The first

family interviewed is in the stage 4 cycle (the family with adolescents); their household

is comprised of two adults (a single mother and her sister) and three children (an

eighteen-year-old, sixteen-year-old, and ten-year-old). The second family consists of 3

members; mother, father, and son (seventeen-year-old). The last interviewee focuses

on a family of four, consisting of a mother, father, and two children (fifteen-year-old and

sixteen-year-old)—they are also in the stage of family life characterized by the presence

of adolescence. The common issue faced by a single-parent family led by a single

mother is financial instability since it is costly to send all three children to school

simultaneously. Another prevalent concern is the amount of care given to each child in

the household that only favors the youngest and oldest. The second family faces lack of

communication and disagreements. Since their son is a teenager, he wants to spend

more time with his peers and is wary of showing affection to his parents. The third family

finds it difficult to balance work commitments, household responsibilities, and time with

their children's extracurriculars in school, because believe it or not, even teenagers are

in need of their parents' full attention. Another issue is the lack of personal time which

leaves little time for individual activities or quality time as a pair. In terms of the factors

that contributed to their family issue, the single mother said she is too focused on her

work to provide financially for her children, and with that, she cannot give attention to all

of her children. On the other hand, the factors contributing to the second family's issue
are the parents' hectic schedule and their son's interest in being with his peers.

According to the mother from the third family, the variables that appeared to be

contributing to their challenges were work-life imbalance and unequal distribution of

responsibilities. Moreover, the first family resolved their issue with the financial support

of the parent’s sibling; she would help pay the children’s tuition fee if they were in dire

need of help for the children to continue their education. The second family deals with

their issue through spending time, especially on weekends, and the parents adjust to

the interest of their son by learning the trends and his hobbies. The third family resolves

their issue by actively involving the father in important family choices, considering his

perspectives. They also resolve problems by having time management strategies and

exploring other support systems other than their extended family. With regard to the

decision-making of the single mother and her sister, they reach a joint arrangement that

is equally acceptable to all parties concerned. In the second family, the mother and the

father confer on what they believe is best for the family. While the third family embraced

shared decision-making, time management skills, seeking support, and focusing on the

well-being of all family members, all of which contributed to the family's progress and

happiness throughout their journey.

The stages families go through as they progress in life bring forth their own unique

challenges and dynamics. The interviews conducted with family stage with adolescents

provided valuable insights into the common issues and factors that influence their

decision-making. These families showcased resilience and found effective solutions to

address their challenges. The diverse and ever-changing nature of family stages was

evident in this case study. Each stage presents its own set of challenges, requiring
families to adapt and evolve for a harmonious and happy life. Financial instability and

the struggle to balance attention among multiple children were issues faced by the

family with adolescents. They sought support from extended family and developed close

family ties with cousins their age, and financial assistance to ensure their children's

education. Communication gaps and disagreements were experienced by the second

family, who addressed them through quality time and understanding their teenage son's

needs. One family struggled with work-life balance and unequal distribution of

responsibilities; they employed shared decision-making, time management, and sought

support to tackle these challenges. The interviews emphasized the importance of open

communication, understanding, and compromise within families. Joint arrangements,

considering all perspectives and needs, were reached by the first family. The second

family prioritized parental collaboration for the family's best interests. The third family

embraced shared decision-making, time management, and focused on the well-being of

all members. The family stages serve as a guiding framework as families navigate the

different phases of life. Families are constantly evolving entities shaped by their

changing needs due to circumstances, personalities, socio-economic status, culture,

technology, and lifespan. The challenges encountered provide opportunities for growth

and learning, fostering adaptation and overcoming obstacles together.

Overall, families are essential in our lives as they guide and inspire us. The

family stages illustrate their journey, showcasing resilience and the ability to overcome

challenges. Understanding the dynamics and challenges at each stage provides

insights into the complexity and diversity of family life. Effective communication, support,
and shared decision-making enable families to thrive and find happiness throughout

their journey, fostering stronger bonds within the family.

 REFERENCES

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Branje, S. (2018). Development of Parent-Adolescent Relationships: Conflict

Interactions as a Mechanism of Change. Child Development Perspectives, 12(3),
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Friedline, T., Chen, Z., & Morrow, S. (2021). Families’ Financial Stress &
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Lauer, R.H. and Lauer, J.C. (1997). Marriage and Family, The Quest for Intimacy.
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Moore, J.T. & Asay, S.M. (2018). Family Resource Management (3rd ed.). Los Angeles,
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Sinrich, J. (2023, January 19). 35 Family Quotes That Hit Close to Home.
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