Unit 1 Peer Review Workshop: Content

Directions: Mark your responses directly onto the paper you are editing. Or, you can write your
answers here. If you are unsure, simply state that something seems off but you are unsure of
what.

1. Is the essay in MLA format? If not, what suggestions can you make to the author to get it
to MLA format?
Yes, this essay is MLA format.

2. Does the essay include a controlling idea that is not obvious to everyone? In other words,
does it reveal something not everyone would know about how and why the participants
use the genre within the given community? Where can the author develop more of an
analysis or more fully develop the ideas?

Yes, the essay effectively communicates the strategies used by the No Border Wall
Coalition, revealing how they employ various genres to convey their message. The
controlling idea is clear showcasing the diverse methods (website, social media, physical
protest, and published documents) employed by the coalition to rally support against the
border wall. However, the author could enhance the analysis by delving deeper into the
specific impacts and effectiveness of each genre, providing more detailed examples or
evidence to strengthen the argument.

3. Does the author use observations and the genre itself as evidence to support the claim?

Yes, the author uses observations and the genre itself as evidence to support the claim,
showcasing how the No Border Wall Coalition employs various genres like web-based
advocacy, social media activism, physical protest, and published documents to convey
their message and garner support.Does the essay maintain a cohesive focus around the
controlling idea? Mark any tangents that you find in the essay.

4. Does the essay maintain a cohesive focus around the controlling idea? Mark any tangents
that you find in the essay.

Yes, the essay generally maintains a cohesive focus around the controlling idea. However,
there are instances where the transitions between sections could be smoother to enhance
overall coherence.

5. Is the tone and language is appropriate for your English 1301 class? If not, suggest for the
author what changes they might make.

Yes, the tone and language are generally appropriate for an English 1301 class.
 6. Does the conclusion answer the three questions (Did I do what I said I would do?; Why is
this important?; and What do I want my audience to do with this information?)

Yes, the conclusion addresses the three questions by summarizing the actions of the No
Border Wall Coalition, emphasizing their importance, and conveying the shared values
and unity it has created within the community.

7. Indicate in the text where the author needs more details.

The author might benefit from providing more specific details or examples in certain
areas, such as elaborating on particular events or actions taken by the No Border Wall
Coalition that had a significant impact

8. Indicate in the text where the author needs more evidence.

The author needs more specific evidence or examples to support certain statements, particularly
in the sections discussing the impacts and effectiveness of each genre used by the No Border
Wall Coalition.

9. Indicate in the text three places where the author deserves praise for this essay.

1. The author effectively introduces the No Border Wall Coalition, providing a clear
understanding of its purpose and mission.

2. The essay demonstrates a strong awareness of different genres used by the coalition, including
web-based advocacy, social media activism, physical protest, and published documents.

3. The conclusion effectively summarizes key points and reinforces the importance of the No
Border Wall Coalition's efforts.

10. Indicate in the text three places that the author should fix before submitting the essay.

1. Citations: The author should include proper citations or sources for information, especially
where it mentions "(unknown author)."

2. Transitions: Some sentences or paragraphs need smoother transitions for improved flow
between different sections.

3. Consistency in Capitalization: Ensure consistent capitalization, particularly in phrases like

"The Coalition" or "the coalition."
 11. Has the author chosen one (and only one) genre to analyze? Is the genre a written genre
and not a video or an image?
No, the author analyzes multiple genres, including web-based advocacy, social media
activism, physical protest, and published documents. The genres encompass both written
and visual elements.

Unit 1 Peer Review: Editing

Directions: Mark your responses directly onto the paper you are editing. Or, you can write your
answers here. If you are unsure, simply state that something seems off but you are unsure of
what.

12. How is the essay organized? Does each paragraph contain one and only one main idea
that connects to the thesis? Does this organization help move the ideas forward? Tell the
author if the organization works or offer organization ideas.

The essay is generally well-organized, with each paragraph containing a main idea that connects
to the thesis. The organization effectively moves the ideas forward. Some refinement in
transitions between paragraphs could enhance coherence, and providing a brief overview at the
beginning might guide readers through the essay's structure more effectively.

13. Where could the author use stronger transitions to strengthen connections between his/her
points?

The author could use stronger transitions, particularly between paragraphs, to enhance the
connections and overall flow of ideas.
 14. Does the author have any fragments, comma splices, or run-ons? If so, mark them in the
text. If you know the rule, then go ahead an offer advice to the author. If you do not know
the rule, then simply mention that something seems off.

The essay doesn't contain any noticeable fragments, comma splices, or run-ons. The writing
appears structurally sound.

15. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim? Indicate these
places in the text.

The author could use more detail in specific areas, such as providing additional examples or
evidence to strengthen the discussion of the impacts and effectiveness of each genre used by the
No Border Wall Coalition.

16. Are the style and tone of the essay appropriate for the audience?

Yes, the style and tone of the essay are generally appropriate for the audience in an English 1301
class.

17. Are the sentences and word choices varied? Does the author use strong, active verbs and
solid, descriptive nouns? Indicate where the author could strengthen the verbs and nouns.

The sentences and word choices are generally varied. The author uses descriptive nouns and
active verbs effectively. However, in some areas, the author could strengthen the impact by
incorporating more vivid verbs and specific nouns.

18. Is the author too repetitive or presents too much information? In other words, does the
essay overwhelm you as a reader because there is too much information or underwhelm
you because there is too little information?

The essay doesn't seem overwhelming or underwhelming. However, in certain sections, the
author could strike a better balance by providing more specific details or examples to enhance
the depth of the analysis.
 19. Is the essay confusing because information has been omitted and/or too much information
is assumed to be known by the readers?

The essay is generally clear, but there are moments where additional details or context could be
provided to ensure clarity, especially when introducing specific actions or events undertaken by
the No Border Wall Coalition.

20. Is the essay in the correct MLA format?

yes, the essay appears to be in the correct MLA format

21. Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths:

1. Clear introduction providing the purpose and mission of the No Border Wall Coalition.

2. Well-organized structure with each paragraph contributing to the thesis.

3. Effective use of diverse genres in conveying the coalition's message.

Weaknesses:

1. Some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother for better coherence.

2. The essay lacks specific details or examples to strengthen certain points.

3. The author could provide more context in specific areas for better reader understanding.

22. What are two or three revision suggestions you have for the writer?

1. Enhance transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas.

2. Provide more specific details or examples to strengthen key points.

3. Offer additional context in certain areas to improve reader understanding.