Unit 3 Peer Review: Editing

Directions: Mark your responses directly onto the paper you are editing. Or, you can
write your answers here. If you are unsure, simply state that something seems off but
you are unsure of what.

1. How is the essay organized? Does each paragraph contain one and only one main
idea that connects to the thesis? Does this organization help move the ideas
forward? Tell the author if the organization works or offer organization ideas.
Throughout the reading, it can be noticed how it is an essay very well organized
as each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect surrounding the topic. I would
suggest though that I noticed that some paragraphs could be more tightly
connected to the thesis, potentially by linking each paragraph more specifically to
the central argument and by ensuring that all points are directly supportive of the
thesis.
2. Where could the author use stronger transitions to strengthen connections
between his/her points? I would suggest the transition between paragraphs could
use actual transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or
"Moreover" to seamlessly guide readers from one argument to the next.
3. Does the author have any fragments, comma splices, or run-ons? If so, mark
them in the text. If you know the rule, then go ahead and offer advice to the
author. If you do not know the rule, then simply mention that something seems
off. I do not think there were any fragments needed to change, the writing was
very smooth and appeared to be structurally well in terms and sentences.
4. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim?
Indicate these places in the text. I believe the author can benefit from providing
more detailed examples of the specific impacts and outcomes of the topic.
Especially in factors such as how their website and social media campaigns have
influenced public opinion.
5. Are the style and tone of the essay appropriate for the audience? YES, I do in fact
think it is appropriate.
6. Are the sentences and word choices varied? Does the author use strong, active
verbs and solid, descriptive nouns? Indicate where the author could strengthen
the verbs and nouns.I do believe this essay provides a general flow and it shows a
mix of sentence structures, i think there could be a use of words that could
strengthen their use of strong, active verbs and descriptive nouns.
7. Is the author too repetitive or present too much information? In other words,
does the essay overwhelm you as a reader because there is too much information
or underwhelm you because there is too little information? I did not seem to find
this author being in any way repetitive throughout the essay.
8. Is the essay confusing because information has been omitted and/or too much
information is assumed to be known by the readers? I did not find this essay to
personally give me any sense of confusion throughout it.
9. Is the essay in the correct MLA format? As per my opinion, yes, I did find this
essay following the proper MLA format.
10. Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses. A noticeable strength
was definitely the way it provided a clear context and a powerful form of outlining
the goals of the topic.
11. What are two or three revision suggestions you have for the writer? I would say
the author could enhance their essay by incorporating more specific examples
and evidence to illustrate the impacts of the topic as well as by strengthening
transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of ideas.