EXERCISE XXVII.

AIRING YOUR GRIEVANCES

Grievance: A complaint or protest based on a supposed circumstance.

The American Heritage Dictionary, 2nd College Edition

All of us who are employed, attend school, live in a family, or are married develop grievances from
time to time. It seems this is the nature of human beings that live and work close together or are in
close personal relationships with one another. But sometimes we find it difficult to share what bugs
us with those with whom we feel close. But by keeping these things to ourselves, they often fester
and come out in other behaviors. Airing our grievances is a way of preventing this and feeling better
in a healthy way.
Based on your family experience, complete the following exercise. Remember, getting them out
into the open air is a risk, but a healthy one. (No one, except your counselor, will see this paper
unless you show it to him/her.)

1. List as specifically as you can all the grievances you have regarding your family and its mem-
bers. (Remember list all; none are too small or picky.)

2. Now that you have completed the list, go back over each one and rate it according to the follow-
ing scale: 1 (major grievance), 2 (moderate), 3 (minor).
3. Next select your top three grievances from the ones rated as major.
A.
B.
C.
4. From your three top grievances, pick the one you would most like to see resolved. In the follow-
ing space, describe the particular grievance in more detail, focusing on how often it occurs,
 under what circumstances, and what your response is to it (include your feelings and behavior).

5. Can you suggest one or two ways to resolve the grievance?

6. Identify anything you can think of that might get in the way of this grievance being resolved.

7. What is your feeling regarding the likelihood of the grievance being resolved? Rate it on the fol-
lowing scale.

No Unlikely Possible Good Great

chance chance chance chance chance

Take this to your therapist for review and discuss the next step.