Topic : there are many different types of music in the world nowadays.

why do
we need music? Is the traditionl music that is heard very where nowadays?
A rich variety of music types are existing in the world nowadays. From my
perspective, people do need the music which is a vital part of people’s lifes and
the traditional music of a country and the international one have their own
value.
Music plays an improtant part in human culture for a range of reasons are
discussed in this paragraph. Firstly, music accompanies every corner of the
world. For example, children at preschool are taught many songs as a means of
learning language, music is also a form of enjoyment because when human are
in the bad mood, they will feel relaxed when they listen to it and singing in a
group can help create a connection between participants. Secondly, having a
preference for music will develop our emotion, and it is very meaningful if you
you see favourite songs as a part of life stories because music will become a
healer. Life without music like life without emotions, expression, music is not
only a way of entertainment but it also an essential part of human life.
However, there has been lots of debates about the importance of traditional
music or international one , music is just tasty matter and no measure can be
taken to show the importance of different types of music. But another way,
people prefer to listen to their favourite list and choose something which can
response to their needs. So anyone would be attracted to a kind of music
composition, music genre or lyric and it is not logically to encourage people to
listen to a specific sort of of music or opening which music is suitable and more
important.
In short, music has it own value, so do the traditional music and international
one. The importance is that people listen to what they like and it is reality

1. Original: "A rich variety of music types are existing in the world
nowadays." Correction: "A rich variety of music types exists in the world
nowadays."
2. Original: "From my perspective, people do need the music which is a
vital part of people’s lifes and the traditional music of a country and the
international one have their own value." Correction: "From my
perspective, people do need music, which is a vital part of people’s lives.
Both the traditional music of a country and international music have their
own value."
3. Original: "Music plays an improtant part in human culture for a range of
reasons are discussed in this paragraph." Correction: "Music plays an
important part in human culture for a range of reasons discussed in this
paragraph."
4. Original: "Firstly, music accompanies every corner of the world."
Correction: "Firstly, music reaches every corner of the world."
5. Original: "For example, children at preschool are taught many songs as a
means of learning language, music is also a form of enjoyment because
when human are in the bad mood, they will feel relaxed when they listen
to it and singing in a group can help create a connection between
participants." Correction: "For example, children at preschool are taught
many songs as a means of language acquisition. Music is also a form of
enjoyment because when humans are in a bad mood, they feel relaxed
when they listen to it, and singing in a group can help create a connection
between participants."
6. Original: "Secondly, having a preference for music will develop our
emotion, and it is very meaningful if you you see favourite songs as a part
of life stories because music will become a healer." Correction:
"Secondly, having a preference for music can influence our emotions, and
it is very meaningful when you see favorite songs as a part of life stories
because music can become a healer."
7. Original: "Life without music like life without emotions, expression,
music is not only a way of entertainment but it also an essential part of
human life." Correction: "Life without music is like life without emotions
and expression. Music is not only a form of entertainment, but it is also
an essential part of human life."
8. Original: "However, there has been lots of debates about the importance
of traditional music or international one , music is just tasty matter and no
measure can be taken to show the importance of different types of
music." Correction: "However, there have been lots of debates about the
importance of traditional music or international music. Music is a
subjective matter, and no measure can definitively show the importance
of different types of music."
9. Original: "But another way, people prefer to listen to their favourite list
and choose something which can response to their needs." Correction:
"On the other hand, people prefer to listen to their favorite playlist and
choose something that can respond to their needs."
10.Original: "So anyone would be attracted to a kind of music composition,
music genre or lyric and it is not logically to encourage people to listen to
a specific sort of of music or opening which music is suitable and more
important." Correction: "So, anyone would be attracted to a kind of music
composition, music genre, or lyric, and it is not logical to encourage
people to listen to a specific sort of music or assert which music is more
suitable and important."
11.Original: "In short, music has it own value, so do the traditional music
and international one." Correction: "In short, music has its own value, as
do traditional music and international music."
12.Original: "The importance is that people listen to what they like and it is
reality." Correction: "The important thing is that people listen to what
they like, and it is a reality."