There is a diverse range of musical styles emerging in the world these days.

Music holds great significance for our lives for various reasons. From my
perspective, I reckon that music of a country is more crucial than international
music and in this essay I will discuss this issue more deeply.
Beginning with the question why we need music. Firstly, music plays an
important role in human life. To call it another way, music is like the source of
life. Secondly, it forms human
emotions like enjoyment, sadness, relaxation. Moreover, children can learn
language through songs, progress in social skills and arouse children’s curiosity.
Thirdly, music is like a tool which creates a connection between participants
when it is played and sung in a group.
We cannot deny that international music is not important. To begin with its
catchy, funny melodies and an easy way to learn foreign languages. However, it
is usually used in advertising and
selling companies’ products. Moreover, music is a form of cultural identity.
Each region has its own specials which are demonstrated through music.
Finally, I think the most momentous reason is because it connects us today to
the past, especially the songs during wartime which were very heroic,
portraying realistically the fierce background of war, helping people to have a
clear look about themselves now.
Summarizing my means, the essence of music is undeniable and although
there are many kinds of music we like, we still need to respect and appreciate
the traditional music.

Here are some mistakes in the text and suggested corrections:

1. Original: "There is a diverse range of musical styles emerging in the world these days."
Correction: "There is a diverse range of musical styles emerging in the world today."
2. Original: "From my perspective, I reckon that music of a country is more crucial than
international music and in this essay I will discuss this issue more deeply." Correction: "From
my perspective, I believe that the music of a country is more crucial than international music,
and in this essay, I will discuss this issue more deeply."
3. Original: "Beginning with the question why we need music." Correction: "Beginning with the
question of why we need music."
4. Original: "To call it another way, music is like the source of life." Correction: "To put it
another way, music is like the source of life."
5. Original: "Secondly, it forms human emotions like enjoyment, sadness, relaxation."
Correction: "Secondly, it evokes human emotions such as enjoyment, sadness, and
relaxation."
6. Original: "Moreover, children can learn language through songs, progress in social skills and
arouse children’s curiosity." Correction: "Moreover, children can learn language through
songs, improve social skills, and arouse children’s curiosity."
7. Original: "Thirdly, music is like a tool which creates a connection between participants when
it is played and sung in a group." Correction: "Thirdly, music is like a tool that creates a
connection between participants when it is played and sung in a group."
8. Original: "We cannot deny that international music is not important." Correction: "We cannot
deny that international music is important."
9. Original: "To begin with its catchy, funny melodies and an easy way to learn foreign
languages." Correction: "To begin with, its catchy, funny melodies and its easy way to learn
foreign languages."
10. Original: "Moreover, music is a form of cultural identity." Correction: "Moreover, music is a
form of cultural identity."
11. Original: "Each region has its own specials which are demonstrated through music."
Correction: "Each region has its own specialties which are demonstrated through music."
12. Original: "Finally, I think the most momentous reason is because it connects us today to the
past, especially the songs during wartime which were very heroic, portraying realistically the
fierce background of war, helping people to have a clear look about themselves now."
Correction: "Finally, I think the most momentous reason is that it connects us to the past,
especially the songs during wartime which were very heroic, portraying realistically the fierce
background of war, helping people to have a clear look about themselves now."
13. Original: "Summarizing my means, the essence of music is undeniable and although there are
many kinds of music we like, we still need to respect and appreciate the traditional music."
Correction: "In summary, the essence of music is undeniable, and although there are many
kinds of music we like, we still need to respect and appreciate traditional music."