IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT

– Dale Carnegie

INTRODUCTION:

Dale Breckenridge Carnegie is an American writer and lecturer and the developer of courses in
self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. He
was born on 24 November 1888, Maryville, Missouri, United States and died on 1 November
1955, Forest Hills, New York, United States. If You’re Wrong, Admit It is an extract from his
famous book “How to win Friends and Influence People”. In this extract the author illustrates
with example how it pays to admit mistakes quickly and emphatically. Defending our mistakes,
finding alibis (problems) and blaming others for our mistakes may give us satisfaction but we
may end up losing good friends. One needs an extreme courage and honesty to admit that he or
she has made mistakes but must try to convince gently and tactfully that we are right.

THE AUTHOR’S EXPERIENCE WITH A POLICEMAN:

The first illustration the author writes about an incident where he and Rex the author’s Boston
Bulldog, did not like to be leashed or muzzled. It was against law in America. He gave reasons
to defend him. There was nobody in the park and the dog was also harmless. The policeman
warned Carnegie that he will be charged the next time if he did not leash or muzzle the dog. But
on another occasion, when the author let the dog run loose again, he admitted his fault. For
disobeying him, Carnegie knew that he will have to face the wrath of the angry policeman
itching to show his authority. Carnegie tactfully admitted that he made a mistake and spoke all
that the policeman would have, thus taking his side. The policeman calmed down and took
Carnegie’s side by excusing Carnegie. Carnegie admitted his mistake. This made the policeman
magnanimously excuse him.

THE EXPERIENCE OF WARREN WITH AN ART EDITOR:

Warren is a commercial artist. He was often criticised by a particular art editor even for small
errors. This time Warren applied the principle- “If you are wrong, admit it.” He started
criticising himself. He said that he committed an unpardonable blunder. He criticized himself
extensively and promised to redo the entire work. He said that he was ashamed of himself. This
made the art editor behave psychologically the other way. He said that it was just a slight error.
He offered him even lunch and another work to do.

HARVEY'S EXPERIENCE WITH HIS BOSS:

Harvey from New Mexico came to know of an error that he had wrongly authorized full payment
to an employee on sick leave. The employee was ready for recovery now but on installments
only. Harvey knew that his boss would explode over this error. But he handled this tense
situation differently and solved the problem. He started by saying that it was his fault. Harvey
who not only admitted his mistake but also blamed himself repeatedly for all the confusion.
Instead of getting angry, the boss defended him by saying that it was the fault of personnel or
accounting department. The boss was also pleased at Harvey’s acceptance of mistake that he
allowed Harvey to rectify his mistake. This earned him the respect of his boss.

GENERAL LEE AND PICKET'S CHARGE:

Picket's Charge (1863) is a part of American Civil War (1861-65) that took place between
Northern States (Unions) and Southern States (Confederates). General Picket was so confident of
victory but General Lee’s fault of ordering infantry resulted in failure of the war. The enemies
started attacking from behind a stone wall and 4000 Picket's men had a fall. General Lee can say
reasons such as late coming of cavalry but he admitted his fault and even resigned his post. His
acceptance of mistake and supplication of apology is the most sublime.

THE CHINESE CULTURE:

In the fifth example the author is discussing about the Chinese culture. Michael Cheung, who
was the tutor of a course in Hong Kong. Chinese tradition forbids elders from taking the first step
to reconciliation with the young. The Chinese father knowing that it was his fault for his son
leaving him, he did not budge since it was their tradition that forbade elders from taking the first
step toward reconciliation with their younger counterparts. But his desire to meet his son and his
family and the realization of his mistakes over powered his long nurtured ego. He leaves his ego
behind and with all his heart seeks his son’s forgiveness.

ELBERT HUBBARD AND HIS IRRITATED READER:

The sixth example is of Elbert Hubbard who was one of the most original authors. He had the
rare characteristics of turning his foes into friends by taking their side when he felt he was right.
Hubbard used to pull an irritated reader to his side by confessing that just like him he too
disagrees with what he had written earlier. He would also call him over to his place to thrash the
subject over. This way he ditches the fumes of an explosive reader.

CONCLUSION:

Thus the author gives examples of public, commercial, professional and war issues to prove the
value of admitting one’s fault. The author says that if someone has erred (mistake) he shouldn’t
hesitate to admit it and close the matter peacefully. The author also says that the spontaneous
admittance of one’s mistake win them the respect they wouldn’t have received otherwise.
Carnegie believes that self- criticism was better than having to listen to criticism from alien lips.
Admittance of mistakes, thus, works in each one’s favour. He says that when we are right, we
should try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking.