LIFE ORIENTATION

GRADE : 8 TERM : 1 WEEK 4 1 HOUR

CONCEPT: Sexuality

 Understanding one’s sexuality

 Personal feelings that impact sexuality

Concept: Sexuality

Sexuality is about your sexual feelings, thoughts, attractions and behaviours towards other people. You
can find other people physically, sexually or emotionally attractive, and all those things are a part of
your sexuality. It is more than just wanting to have sex. Sexuality is personal, differs from one person to
another, and is an important part of who you are. It contains biological gender, gender identity, gender
role and sexual orientation.

Understanding your sexuality:

As you develop physically and emotionally, you become more curious about issues related to sexuality.
This is natural and happens to everybody at some time. Sexuality is more than just being attracted to
someone; it is a transformation which takes place within you. Sexuality includes your sexual feelings,
desires and your sexual identity. How you deal with these issues will help you to understand your
sexuality. Due to hormonal and physical changes in your body and mind during puberty, you become
aware of your sexuality. At times your thoughts can be very distracting, yet exciting, as you explore the
world of sexuality. You may become aware of unusual feelings when in the presence of someone you
are attracted to. It can leave you with feelings of confusion and anxiety, seeking answers about why you
are feeling the way you do. In finding these answers, you need to establish what you feel about
sexuality and how you are going to cope with it. Before starting a relationship with a boy or girls or a
person of the same gender that you are attracted to, it help to understand your feelings. Sexuality is an
important part of who a person is and what she or he will turn out to be. Whether you are a boy or girl,
you have feelings. You think and behave in a certain way. Being in love, being attractive and having a
relationship with someone is part of experiencing sexuality. Sexuality is about enjoying oneself through
one’s senses: touch, taste, hearing, smell and sight. Understanding your sexuality is important because
your personal feelings have an impact on it. Your sexuality is influenced by the following factors: your
friends and peers, your family and the norms of your community, also cultural values and social
pressures that include the media. Problem-solving skills will help you to identify how sexuality if formed
and how it develops.

Understanding one’s sexuality: personal feelings that impact on sexuality

To be able to understand your sexuality you need to be aware of how you feel about yourself and your
body. You have to be comfortable with yourself. This is sensuality. Where emotions can be a personal
feeling on the inside, sensuality makes you aware of your body on the outside and how you understand
it. As we grow from childhood to being a teenager we experience changes which prepares us for being
adults. These changes happened in puberty and can at times cause us confusion. The changes can
also affect our self-concept because we will be comparing ourselves with our peers. If our self-concept
is strong we value ourselves and will not be easily convinced to do things not ready for. It is therefore
important to love ourselves and be confident of who we are to be able to deal with our sexuality. Smell
is one of your senses that you can use to enjoy your sensuality. Sensuality makes you feel good about
your body. By respecting your body you will also respect your friends body or the body of your girlfriend
or boyfriend in a relationship.
  Feelings about your sexuality can be disruptive in your day and it can affect your learning.
Learn to stay focused in class.
 Get more information through books, magazines or the internet about growing sexual
awareness and the changes you are going through to help you to understand and deal with
your curiosity.
 If you are comfortable and have a trusted older person you can speak to, go ahead and see
if they can answer some of your questions. It is better to know what is going on than to be in
the dark.

Be who you want to be and value your principles. As an adolescent you might find it difficult to talk
to your friends about dating and romantic feelings. At times you will feel you have to pretend in
order to fit in or hide parts of your feelings and thoughts. Be honest with yourself; be proud of who
you are and what you have achieved. Learning the correct social etiquette when in the presence of
someone you are attracted to, will make you feel more in control and give you a better
understanding of your sexuality. Displaying good social etiquette helps when you are with the
person you like. Applying the following tips below will make you feel better about yourself and direct
you towards a healthy sexual identity.

Some people still enjoy the old-fashioned way of treating someone they are attracted to

 respect others people’s feelings

 offer to carry her heavy school bag or sports bag
 show support when they participate in an event
 let her walk through the door first when entering a classroom
 offer to stand in line on her behalf at the tuck shop
 pull a chair out for her to sit down
 open a car door so they can get in
 pick things up if they drop it by mistake
 give them a card on their birthday
 offer your seat to a lady

ACTIVITY

Read the story and answer the questions:

Sandy comes from a rural area of the Western Cape. She and her parents live in a small
community. The community is very religious and has very strict rules about dating and sex before
marriage. Sandy’s parents support the beliefs of their community. Sandy met a boy that she liked
a lot. Her parents did not want her seeing a boy and fought a lot with her about it. They said she
was too young to date. As their relationship grew, they became more and more intimate. One
day, they ended up having sex, and Sandy fell pregnant. Her parents were shocked and angry.
Her family and community wanted nothing to do with her, as she was a disgrace to them. She ran
away from home.

Source :Via Afrika Life Orientation Grade 8 Learner’s Book

Questions:
a. What are the norms in Sandy’s community?
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b. Do you think Sandy’s parents could have acted differently before she got pregnant?
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c. Why do you think Sandy ran away?
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d. Do you think her decision to run away was a good idea? Explain.
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e. What could Sandy’s community could have done to support her?
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GRADE 8 TERM 1 WEEK 5 1 HOUR
CONCEPT:
 The influence of friends and peers on one’s sexuality
 Family and community norms that impact sexuality
 Social pressures, including media, that impact sexuality
Influence of friends and peers on one’s sexuality

During your teen years friendships form a very important part of your life. You spend more time with
your peers, unsupervised and away from your parents. Peers tend to be more accepting of your
feelings and actions during your search for self-identity at this time. You are becoming more
independent. Whether negative or positive, friends are very important to you. You need to belong,
to feel connected with people who share the same interests as you and are the same age as you.
You choose friends who accept and like you for who you are. Peer pressure can motivate you, give
you energy and make you behave appropriately. Friends and peers can and do act as positive role
models. Positive peer pressure encourages you not to engage in drug use and sexual activity. It
builds your character. You develop new friendships with the opposite sex or romantic relationships.
You listen to their comments and advice about who to date or to break up with. Your friends and
peers have their own beliefs and they may influence you to change your individual beliefs. Negative
peer pressure steps in when you need to feel to belong, you want to be accepted or need the
approval of your peers. Taking risks can drive you away from family, friends and peers. Learners
who suffer from attention, deficit disorder or depression are more likely to take risks and behave
badly to feel accepted by their friends and peers. Unsafe sex, violence, alcohol and drug abuse may
harm these learners physically and mentally.

Partner pressure:

If you are going out with a partner in a steady relationship, you will find that sometimes one partner
wants to have sex and the other may not. Curiosity is a strong feeling and brings about the need to
have sex. Often these differences bring friction and conflict into a relationship. If your partner places
sexual pressure on you and you do not agree it would be best to end the relationship. Strong
feelings of wanting sex are only an indication that your body is ready, but your mind and emotions
might not be. Doing the opposite of what your values tell you is right can lead to deeply hurt feelings
in your life. It can leave you feeling confused, embarrassed and ashamed.

Abstinence

Some adolescents prefer to wait until later before leading sexually active lives. They want to protect
themselves from sexually transmitted diseases. Not giving in to the pressure of having sex, shows
that you are in control of your body, your emotions and the choices you make.

Family and community norms that impact on sexuality

Family and community norms that impacts on sexuality are gender and sexuality, promoting
equality, empowerment, non-discrimination and respect for diversity. Gender and sexuality differ in
families and communities. Equality is essential in the home and in the community. Educating and
supporting women will empower them. Non-discrimination regarding sexuality has started to
change. Family and community norms must not discriminate against another member of the family
or community because of the persons race, sex, sexual orientation, ethnicity or national origin,
religion, age or being disabled.

Unity in diversity: Family and community norms should encourage respect of diversity. When a
family and community show respect for different cultures or where people originally come from, the
children will accept it as normal behaviour.
  Respect must be shown to both boys and girls
 Appreciate different religions
 You are also encouraged to work and play with co-learners from different backgrounds.

a. Family norms

Family norms are the rules that the family live by. They are influenced by the community rules as
they form part of the community. The parenting and family structure affect teenagers’ sexual
behaviour by influencing their self-confidence and how they interact with others. Some families find
it difficult to discuss sexual health with the children which in turn affect parenting and put teenagers
in risky sexual behaviour as they will seek advice from their peers. Sexual norms are reproduced
both through parents' explicit prohibitions and their own behaviours.

b. Community norms

Community norms are the rules that the community lives by. This means the way men and women
live, their behaviour, their dating, marriage, when sex may take place and who is allowed to have
sex with whom. These rules will affect your sexual identity development because you will be part of
the community. You will not deviate from the way of life of the people you live with to avoid being
rejected.

Same-sex relationships

When two people of the same gender have a love or sexual relationship.

Culture values that impact on sexuality

Culture influences on sexuality include values, such as decisions regarding

appropriate sexual behaviours, suitable partner or partners, appropriate age of consent, as well as
who is to decide what is appropriate. These values are learned from an early age and become part
of us and our decision making. For example in some cultures, it is acceptable for a woman to
approach a man while in others it is a taboo. Learn about sexuality issues from school, people you
respect and people you can trust. Gaining more information and learning about risk factors such as
teenage pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, risky actions can help you to take the
appropriate steps if you find yourself in these kinds of situations. Community health clinics and
libraries can provide a good source of information.

Social pressure including media that impact on sexuality

Media also has an influence of how boys and girls should look like and behave. Media refers to
television, movies, music, magazines, the internet, pornographic sites, social network, chat rooms,
cell phones and sexting (sending sexual messages and photos of self). These medias also have an
impact on sexual identity because it may introduce you to behaviours that are not acceptable in the
community and thus cause conflict. The teenage needs to work to develop his/her sense of values
while dealing with their sexual identity. Some television programmes show casual sex as their
theme and teenagers may be confused thinking it is the right thing to do. Television programmes
have age restrictions for a reason. Teenagers tend to ignore these restrictions which unfortunately
increase their confusion.
You are exposed to sexual content in the media on a daily basis. Television, movies, music,
magazines, the internet and chat rooms, facebook, instagram, telegram are just a few examples of
the endless and ever-developing platforms you are exposed to. The media contains many overt and
hidden sexual messages that influence sexual attitudes and behaviour.

Television: TV contains sexual content.

The internet: Social media sites offer young people the opportunity to meet each other online.

Pornographic sites: Adolescents who choose to view pornographic sites are likely to engage in
permissive sexual activities.

Social net workings websites: Facebook,Twitter, Instagram, Telegram, Whatsapp are some of
the popular social networking services to connect with old and new friends.

Chat rooms: Some chat rooms offer sexualised environments for making sexual comments. You
could become prey to sexual solicitation by being encouraged to talk about sex, to do sexual or to
share sexual experiences with other people.

Cell phones:

This form of media offers instant and private exposure. You can take photos and videos of sexual
encounters and post it. You need to be responsible enough not to get involved in malicious
behaviour.

Sexting
This refers to the act of texting or posting suggestive sexual messages and photos of oneself via cell phones
or emails. It often includes nude or semi-nude photos or videos. Usually partners in steady relationships
send each other these types of messages.
Positive role of the media in sexual development
Despite all the negative and sexually explicit content one can receive from the media, the media does have a
positive role to play with regards to one’s sexual education. A positive effect of the media in regards to your
sexual development is that it can be used as a platform to provide young people with healthy sexual
information to guide them in making the correct decisions about their sexuality.
Forward a sexual picture of someone underage (under 18) you are as responsible for this image as
the original sender. -IT’S ILLEGAL You can face…Pornography charges Go to jail Register as a
Sex Offender. Emotional Scars-Then there's the emotional (and reputation) damage that can come
from having intimate photos of yourself go to someone you might've thought was a friend or
potential friend who forwards them on in what amounts to a violation of your trust. That can be really
hurtful, obviously. And as you know, digital photos are too easy to copy and paste onto the Web,
where they can be archived and searchable pretty much forever
ACTIVITY

2.1 Draw the table below about your favourite programmes and complete it. An example has been
completed

Name of programme Characters Form of sexuality Brief description of

the programme

e.g. Generation Kumkani; Luyolo No explicit sex It is a series that can

be watched by a
family

a.

b.

c.

d.

e.

2.2. Name youth programmes you know.

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2.3. What are they about?

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2.4. Do you have these programmes any in your list of favourites above? If not, why.

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GRADE 8 TERM 1 WEEK 6 1 HOUR
CONCEPT:
Problem-solving skill
 Identify formation and development
Problem-solving skills: Identity formation and development

Identity formation is a stage in the adolescent life cycle when development of identity begins. During
these years, adolescents are more open to 'trying on' different behaviours and appearances to
discover who they really are. This period involves taking decisions on questions such as “who am
I?” When facing such questions, you take into account your values, ethnicity, race, sexuality and
gender. It is a difficult phase because on one hand you want to fit in with your peers at the same
time wishing to keep your unique self.
When it comes to decision about sex and sexuality you need to:
 Understand the risk of sexual choice
 Know your responsibility to yourself
 Be aware of what the results of your choice are
 Be comfortable with your body
 Know what is happening to your body
 Understand the feelings you are having
The following problem-solving steps can be used to decide on a problem you are facing:
Step 1- Define the problem. What choice do you have to make?
Step 2- Brainstorm and make a list of all possible solutions
Step 3- Evaluate the option by looking at its advantages and disadvantages. Look at which option
has the most of advantages, considering the consequences.
Step 4- Decide. Choose the option which seems the best solution based on your facts.
Step 5- Act. Carry out your decision
Step 6- Evaluate the decision. Was it the best decision to have taken? How will you handle things
next time? If you are not happy with the decision, you review by going back to the second step.
ACTIVITY

Your friend invites you to a party s/he have been invited to by one of your school mates who was
suspended that week for possession of dagga. The party will be kept indoors because the country
is in lockdown level 4. You have never been to a party with your friends before. You think it
would be a great experience for you because your friend has told you about the parties s/he had
been to and the fun they have had. You are indecisive. Use the problem solving steps to decide
whether to go to the party or not.

Step 1 :
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Advantages:
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Disadvantages:

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Step
4 :____________________________________________________________________________
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Step
5 :____________________________________________________________________________
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Step
6 :____________________________________________________________________________
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