Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep.

84 |
Qalam Institute

Episode 84

Episode Link: https://www.qalaminstitute.org/2014/05/seerah-life-of-the-prophet-the-prophets-family-joins-him-in-madinah/

- The Prophet migrated from Makkah to Madinah in his 13th year of Prophethood with Abu Bakr. They
first arrived in Quba, where he stayed for a week and a half before advancing to Madinah
o In Madinah, the Prophet established Masjid an-Nabawi and took up temporary residence in
the home of Abu Ayyub al-Ansari
o The Prophet also surveyed Madinah and its circumstances, people, economic, religious, social,
and political situation in the city
o The Prophet started meeting with local leaders. He met with some of the key Jewish tribes
- Once the Prophet himself arrived and settled in Madinah, established the masjid, and took care of the
things that required his immediate attention upon arrival in Madinah, the next thing he turned his
attention towards was now bringing over his family to Madinah
o Going back to the childhood of the Prophet and continuing on to his adult life, the aspect of
family is very visible and prominent in his life. It’s not an exaggeration by any means to call the
Prophet not just a family man, but THE family man
o The Prophet was the ultimate family man – the best husband and the best father possible
- At this point in the Seerah, the Prophet was in Madinah, but his family was still behind in Makkah.
Understandably, the Prophet missed his family and longed to see them
o The Prophet went to Madinah without his family to establish everything and make sure
everything was set, safe, and sound before he brought his family over to Madinah
- A year before the Hijra (which was two years after the deaths of Khadijah and Abu Talib), the Prophet
was a single father for these two years, raising his daughters on his own
o The Prophet’s eldest daughter Zainab was married to Abu al-Aas ibn al-Rabee. The Prophet’s
second eldest daughter Ruqayyah was also married
o The Prophet’s two younger daughters, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah were not married.
Fatimah was a young girl at the time
o For all intents and purposes, the Prophet at this time was raising his daughters by himself, and
they were basically recovering together from the loss of his children’s mother
- Two years after Khadijah passed away (and a year before Hijra), Khawla bint al-Hakim, the wife of
Uthman ibn Madhun, went to the Prophet and said to him, “Ya Rasulullah, will you not remarry?”
o The Prophet said, “Who would you suggest that I get married to?”

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o Khawla said, “If you want, you could marry someone who hasn’t been married before,
or you could marry someone who has been previously married.”
o The Prophet asked, “Who would it be if I were to marry someone who has never been married
before?”
o Khawla replied, “The daughter of the most beloved of God’s creation to you.”
o The most beloved of God’s creation to the Prophet was Abu Bakr, and Khawla was
talking about Abu Bakr’s daughter A’isha
- The Prophet asked, “Who would you suggest for me to marry if I was to marry someone who has been
previously married?”
o Khawla said, “I would suggest Sawdah bint Zam’a. She believed in you early on and she
followed you in everything that you instructed. She is a sound believer.”
o Zam’a was one of the leaders of Quraysh. His daughter Sawdah bint Zam’a and her
husband Sakran ibn Amr were among the very early converts to Islam. They both
migrated to Habesha in the 5th year of Prophethood
o The Prophet said to Khawla, “Go and make the proposals on my behalf.”
- Khawla bint Al-Hakim went to the house of Abu Bakr and approached A’isha’s mother Umm Ruman.
Khawla asked Umm Ruman, “Can you guess what type of blessing and what type of good Allah has
brought into your home?”
o Ummu Ruman asked, “What is that?”
o Khawla replied, “The Messenger of Allah has sent me to your house to bring a
proposal on his behalf for your daughter A’isha.”
o Ummu Ruman said, “Wait until her father Abu Bakr comes home.”
- When Abu Bakr came home, Khawla bint al-Hakim asked him, “O Abu Bakr, can you guess what type of
blessing Allah has brought into your home?”
o Abu Bakr asked, “What is that?”
o Khawla replied, “The Messenger of Allah has sent me to propose on his behalf to
A’isha.”
o Abu Bakr was aware of how much love the Prophet had for him, so much so that the Prophet
would call Abu Bakr his brother
o Abu Bakr said to Khawla, “Because he refers to me as his brother, would it be
permissible for our families to marry into one another? Would that be alright? Would
he literally be considered an uncle to my daughter?”

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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- Khawla bint al-Hakim went back to the Prophet and raised Abu Bakr’s concern to the Prophet
o The Prophet said, “This type of brotherhood is the brotherhood and sisterhood of faith, but it
doesn’t establish relations. It doesn’t prohibit marriage. It’s not that type of brotherhood or
sisterhood. It’s not biological nor is it a relationship established through nursing. It doesn’t
have any prohibition attached to it. It’s just a spiritual relationship of brotherhood and
sisterhood for the sake of Allah.”
- Before the Prophet made his proposal to A’isha, there were some discussions between Abu Bakr and
Mut’im ibn Adi, one of the chiefs of Quraysh who had shown support of Islam in the past, about the
son of Mut’im ibn Adi getting married to A’isha bint Abu Bakr
o After the Prophet made his proposal to A’isha (he wasn’t aware of the ongoing discussions
between Abu Bakr and Mut’im ibn Adi), Abu Bakr went to Mut’im ibn Adi and let him know
about the proposal
o Since there were no actual promises made or proposals exchanges, but only
discussions, Abu Bakr and Mut’im ibn Adi went on their own ways
o That’s when Abu Bakr responded in the affirmative to the proposal between the
Prophet and A’isha
- The nikah between the Prophet and A’isha then took place. They did not begin to live together for
another three years
o One obvious discussion that takes place about this part of the Seerah is about the age of A’isha
at the time of her marriage to the Prophet
o This will be discussed later, when we come towards the point at the end of the 1st
year of Hijra, when the walimah took place, when they actually began to live together
as a married couple
o In this part of the Seerah, just the nikah and katb el-kitab was performed. There was no
consummation or walimah at this time
- Khawla bint al-Hakim then went to Sawdah bint Zam’a and asked, “Can you guess what type of a
blessing that Allah has entered upon your home?”
o Sawdah asked, “What’s that?”
o Khawla said, “I have come on behalf of the Messenger of Allah with a proposal from
him for your hand in marriage.”
o Sawdah responded, “I would love to marry the Prophet.”

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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- Sawdah and her husband Sakran ibn Amr accepted Islam in its very early days
o When the situation in Makkah became difficult with the opponents stepping up their
persecution against the Muslims during the 5th year of Nabua, the Muslims of Makkah
migrated to Habesha
o Sawdah and her husband were among those early migrants
o After a few years, there was a rumor that spread all the way to Habesha that all of Makkah
had accepted Islam
o Because of this, many of the Muslim immigrants traveled back to Makkah, believing
that it was a safe place for Muslims to be in
o When they returned to Makkah and found that the news of Makkans accepting Islam
wasn’t true, some of the Muslim immigrants went back to Habesha while other
Muslim immigrants decided to return to Makkah
o Sawdah and her husband Sakran ibn Amr (the brother of Suhail ibn Amr) were among those
who decided to come back and stay in Makkah. They decided not to return to Habesha
o At this particular time, Sakran fell ill and passed away in Makkah, long before the
Hijra, leaving Sawdah a widow
- Going back to Khawla proposing to Sawdah on the Prophet’s behalf, Sawdah replied, “I would love to
marry the Prophet, however, I would appreciate it if you could officially deliver this proposal to my
father.”
o In Islam, a woman who has been married previously (whether she is divorced or widowed),
she doesn’t require the consent of the wali to marry again
o Ancient Arab tradition was similar to this
o Nevertheless, out of respect for her father, Sawdah asked Khawla to deliver the
proposal to her father because he would appreciate it
- Sawdah’s father Zam’a ibn Qays was a very, very old man. He was a chief of Quraysh. He was not a
Muslim
o This was during the season of Hajj. While a lot of people were gone from Makkah to Arafat and
Mina, Zam’a ibn Qays stayed back because he was too old
o Khawla bint al-Hakim went to Zam’a and greeted him with the greeting of jahiliya, not with the
greeting of Islam, which tells us that he was not Muslim at this time
- Zam’a’s eyesight was so bad that he was nearly blind, and he responded, “Who is this?”
o Khawla said, “Khawla bint Hakim.”
o Zam’a asked, “What do you want?”

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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o Khawla said, “Muhammad, the son of Abdullah and the grandson of Abdul Muttalib, has sent
me to bring you a proposal for your daughter Sawdah.”
o She did not say “Rasulullah,” but rather, “Muhammad ibn Abdullah,” which shows
that Zam’a ibn Qays wasn’t a Muslim
o Zam’a said, “This is a very noble match. What does my daughter say about this?”
o Khawla replied, “She said that she would love to marry him.”
o Zam’a said, “Go and bring my daughter, and I will talk to her myself.”
- Khawla went to bring Sawdah to her father
o Zam’a said to Sawdah, “O beloved daughter, this woman, Khawla, claims that Muhammad ibn
Abdullah ibn Abdul Muttalib is asking for your hand in marriage. He is a very noble match. Do
you want me to go ahead and marry you off to him?”
o He’s an older man, so he took the Prophet’s lineage back to his grandfather Abdul
Muttalib. Abdul Muttalib is Zam’a bin Qays’ contemporary, and that’s how Zam’a
knows Muhammad
o Sawdah replied, “Yes.”
o Zam’a then told Khawla, “Go and call Muhammad.”
o That’s when the Prophet came and the nikah took place between the Prophet and
Sawdah bint Zam’a
- At this time, Sawdah’s brother, Abdu ibn Zam’a was not Muslim (yet) and he was very opposed to the
Prophet
o When he came back from the season of Hajj and found out that his sister got married to the
Prophet while he was gone, Abdu ibn Zam’a picked up dirt and rubbed it on his own head to
basically express the fact “I can’t believe this happened while I was gone. I’ve been ruined. I’ve
been humiliated. My mortal enemy has married my sister.” He was very upset with this
situation
o After accepting Islam later on, Abdu ibn Zam’a would say, “I swear by Allah, I was such a
foolish man that day that I threw dirt on my own head. That the Messenger of Allah would
marry my sister Sawdah? What an unbelievable honor. I was a fool the way I behaved that day.
I regret acting like such a fool.”
- When the Khawla bint Hakim approached and proposed on behalf of the Prophet for Sawdah bint
Zam’a’s hand in marriage, she had 5 or 6 children from her first husband Sakran ibn Amr
o Because of this, Sawdah was a little hesitant to accept the proposal. She wanted to speak to
the Prophet first

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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- The Prophet asked her, “Why do you hesitate to marry me?”

o Sawdah replied, “I swear to Allah, O Prophet of Allah, what could ever stop me from marrying
you? You are the most beloved of all mankind to me. You are the Messenger of Allah. I would
want to honor you and respect you, but I am worried that I have so many children that they
would make noise around your head morning and evening. I have a lot of kids. It will be hectic.
You’ll be entering a circus. I am hesitant about that. I don’t want my burden to your burden.
You are Messenger of Allah. You have your own kids. You just suffered the loss of beloved
family members. You have a whole ummah to take care of. You have to preach to all of
mankind. You tend to all of us. I can’t add this to your shoulders.”
o The Prophet asked, “Is there anything other than this that is preventing you and
making you hesitant from marrying me?”
o Sawdah said, “No, absolutely not. This is the only thing.”
- The Prophet made dua for Sawdah, “May Allah have mercy on you. You are an amazing person. May
Allah shower his mercy upon you. The best women are those who are pious and righteous women who
ride camels.”
o These women very capable and independent. They can take care of most things on their own.
They are confident, knowledgeable, and strong women. They are also very pious and
righteous. In spite of being so strong and independent, these women are also very merciful,
loving, and affectionate. They are loving women, and they are honorable women. They protect
the honor and integrity of the home and the husband by any means at any cost
o This is how the Prophet praised Sawdah bint Zam’a – strong, righteous, pious,
confident, independent, affectation, loving, a woman of integrity and honor
o The Prophet then married Sawdah bint Zam’a
- In this part of the Seerah, the Prophet established Masjid al Nabawi and is residing in the home of Abu
Ayyub al-Ansari. He started to forge some alliances between the Jewish tribes and the Ansar, basically
getting things in order in Madinah as soon as he arrived
o Abdullah ibn Uraikit, the guide who had brought the Prophet and Abu Bakr from Makkah to
Madinah, had taken some rest in Madinah
o When he arrived in Madinah, the Prophet told Abdullah, “Hold on for a few days.
We’ll take care of you and host you. When you go back to Makkah, I’d like for you to
take a couple of people with you.”
o Abdullah ibn Uraikit stayed in Madinah for a couple of weeks and was paid in full by the
Prophet. It was now time for him to head back to Makkah

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- The Prophet sent two people with Abdullah ibn Uraikit back to Makkah – Zayd ibn Haritha (the adopted
son of the Prophet and the 3rd person to accept Islam) and Abu Rafi’ah, to bring the families of the
Prophet, Abu Bakr, and Zayd ibn Haritha to Madinah
o Zayd ibn Haritha and Abu Rafi’ah were both former slaves who were freed by the Prophet, so
they were known as Mawla Rasulullah
o It was the Sunnah of the Prophet and other Sahabi like Abu Bakr to free slaves
o The Prophet sent the three men to Makkah with a few camels and 500 darahim
o The purpose of the 500 darahim was to buy more camels and necessary provisions for
the three families to make the journey all the way from Makkah to Madinah
- When Abdullah ibn Uraikit, Zayd ibn Haritha, and Abu Rafi’ah reached Makkah, they gathered together
the three families that would join their husbands/fathers in Madinah
o From the Prophet’s family:
o Sawdah bint Zam’a and her children
o The Prophet’s two younger daughters, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah
o From Abu Bakr’s family:
o Abdullah ibn Abi Bakr, the son of Abu Bakr
o Ummu Ruman, the wife of Abu Bakr
o Asma and A’isha, the daughters of Abu Bakr
o There were others from Abu Bakr’s family not specifically mentioned by name
o From Zayd ibn Haritha’s family:
o Baraqah aka Ummu Aymen (Zayd’s wife) – she was the Black milkmother of the
Prophet and addressed as “Ya Umm” by the Prophet
o Their son Usama ibn Zayd
- The Prophet’s older two daughters were not a part of this journey
o The eldest daughter Zainab was married to her maternal cousin Abu al-Aas bin al-Rabi’, who
was not Muslim at this time (but Zainab was)
o Zainab stayed back with her husband and children in Makkah
o The second eldest daughter, Ruqayyah was married previously to Utbah ibn Abu Lahab but
now to Uthman ibn Affan
o Ruqayyah and Uthman had migrated to Habesha and from there, they went straight
to Madinah, so by the time of the Prophet’s arrival in Madinah, Ruqayyah was already
living in Madinah with her husband

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- We as Muslims need to understand and appreciate all the different elements and segments of our
community. The Prophet established not just a vision but a reality of a global ummah, an ummah of all
types of background. He brought everyone together under the banner of La ilaha illallahu Muhammad
Rasulullah, with zero differences between them. The Prophet didn’t just make that into a cheap
speech, but he lived and practiced that rhetoric
o When the Prophet led prayer, the first person standing directly behind him calling the iqama
was Bilal
o The only man to stand on top of the Ka’bah calling the adhaan at the insistence,
instruction, hukoom of the Prophet was Bilal, a Black man
o One thing that we say about the anbiya (Prophets) is that they were chosen, created, selected,
and designed by Allah to serve a purpose
o Everything that occurred to the Prophet, even before Nabua, led up to the mission of
Prophethood itself. It was all part of the divine plan
- From his very childhood, the best friend of the Prophet‘s mother Aminah was a Black woman, an
African woman by the name of Baraqah (Ummu Aymen)
o Baraqah and Aminah were so close that they traveled together to the place where Aminah’s
husband Abdullah (the Prophet’s father) was buried
o On the return journey home, when Aminah passed away, it was Ummu Aymen who
comforted, consoled, and held the 6-year-old Muhammad like one of her own. It was
Ummu Aymen who buried the mother of the Prophet
o The Prophet was nursed by two African women, two black women – Ummu Aymen and
Thuwayba. The Prophet had diversity in his own background
- The relationship between Ummu Aymen and the Prophet wasn’t just some cheap labor that was hired
– absolutely not
o The Prophet kept Ummu Aymen so close to him, that once, the Prophet announced, “This is a
woman of Paradise. Whoever wants to marry a woman of Paradise in this dunya, he would
marry Ummu Aymen.”
o People used to refer to Ummu Aymen as the mother of the Prophet. The Prophet himself
would refer/introduce Ummu Aymen to people as his mother
o The Prophet wouldn’t call on her as “Ya Baraqah!” The Prophet used to call her, “Ya Umm”
(Mom)

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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- Back to the Seerah timeline, these three families all set out from Makkah to migrate Madinah
o Along the way, the camel that A’isha and her mother Ummu Ruman were riding started to
wander and freak out. It wasn’t behaving normally. The camel was wandering here and there
o Ummu Ruman started to get very worried. She started calling out, “What do we do?
What do we do?”
o A’isha narrated that at that time, they heard a voice that said, “Leave the rope/reign. Hand it
over to me (I will lead it).”
o A’isha, who was sitting in front of her mother and holding the rope, let go of it
o All of a sudden, by itself, the camel stopped as if someone stopped it. Allah had
protected them
o After that, the camel just walked forward with the rest of the group calmly, as if someone was
leading the camel miraculously
o Allah had divinely arranged for the protection of the Prophet’s family
- Asma, the older daughter of Abu Bakr, was married to Az-Zubayr ibn al-Awam (the Prophet’s paternal
cousin). At the time of their migration to Madinah, Asma was pregnant with their son, Abdullah
o Later on in his life, not only would Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr would become a Sahabi who learned
from his parents, but he would also become the close personal student of his aunt, A’isha, who
took thousands of ahadith directly from the mouth and actions of the Prophet
- The three families reached Madinah safely, and they were hosted at the home of one of the Sahaba
o At this time, the Prophet instructed some of his Sahaba to construct some rooms around the
Masjid of the Prophet so they could live together there
o The rooms were very small with low ceilings. It was a loosely constructed, simple,
humble place
o Al Hasan al Basri, a tabi’yi, was a young boy in Madinah with his mother when he could reach
up to the roof of the tallest of the homes of the Prophet. That’s how low the ceilings were,
that a child could reach them
o Even as a child, Al Hasan Al Basri was a taller man, and even as a child, he was on the
tall side, about 4 or 4 ½ feet tall. The ceilings didn’t even reach 6 feet
- As-Suhayl mentioned that the home of the Prophet was constructed from date palms and their trunks
and branches, on which dirt and mud was put on top
o Some of the Prophet’s homes were made from stones that would be gathered and put
together, then some mud and clay would be put on these stones to keep them held together.
Some parts of the walls were also made this way

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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o The roof was just tree branches. The roof was barely 5 or 6 feet tall
o To knock on the door of the Prophet, you could knock very lightly with your nails
o If you have a big, heavy, thick door, then you would have to knock harder, but the
Prophet’s door was so light, that you could easily knock with your nails
o This tells you that this wasn’t even a proper door, like in the way we imagine doors
- Later on, after the Prophet passed away, the wives of the Prophet continued to live in these rooms
o Then after some of the wives of the Prophet passed away and the rooms emptied out, people
put a rock up against the door to keep it closed. The door didn’t even lock; they had to keep a
rock against it to keep the door shut
- A’isha’s room was so small, that when the Prophet would perform his Qiyam prayers, A’isha’s legs
would extend out in front of him
o The Prophet would have to do sujood over her legs, or sometimes he would move her legs
aside and then do sajdah. When he would stand back up, A’isha would extend her legs again
o That’s how small the rooms were – if one person was praying, then the other person couldn’t
sleep properly
- Highlights and lessons from this episode
o The Prophet married Sawdah bint Zam’a, who was an elderly woman, a widow, and had 5 or 6
children from her previous marriage. The Prophet enthusiastically married her, saying, “It’s my
pleasure, my honor to take care of you and your children.”
o He was a family man
o The Prophet made sure that everything was safe and secure before bringing his family over to
Madinah
o Allah had divinely protected and guided the Prophet’s family safely to Madinah
o The Prophet lived very humbly with his family
- There is no guilt in regard to living well off. The idea is not guilt, that when you go back to your homes
you feel guilty. However, there needs to be some level of awareness. There needs to be a reality check
– who are we, what are we blessed with, how do we live our lives?
o At the very least, it should take away any semblance or any idea of complaining. We joke
about “first-world problems,” but we need to check ourselves on whether we really have
legitimate grounds to complain about certain things. Show and express gratitude to Allah
o We live luxuriously compared to the Prophet. There is no guilt in regard to this, but at the very
least, be aware of how blessed and fortunate we are

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Shaykh Abdul Nasir Jangda Ep. 84 |
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- The Prophet lived in these conditions so that he could do what he did. It wasn’t a matter of “He fulfilled
his mission in spite of his loving conditions,” but the Prophet lived like this so that he could do what he
did. All the energy, all the effort, and all the resources was devoted towards accomplishing and
fulfilling his prophetic mission
o We also carry a responsibility. We have inherited this deen from the Prophet. We are
beneficiaries of the sacrifices that the Prophet made
o Part of our heritage and our responsibility is to try to carry the Prophet’s legacy
forward by living by his example
o The Prophet said, “This is my path. I call to Allah with foresight, with conviction, with
confidence, with vision, with knowledge, and with wisdom. I and anyone who claims to follow
me, this is what they do. This is how they live their lives. This is their primary objective.”
- We have been blessed with Islam, not just so we can sit back and say “Alhamdulillah” and carry on with
a sense of spiritual elitisms and just talk about how wretched and doomed everyone else is. Our
responsibility is to take this message forward
o In spite of all this luxury that we live in, number 1, be grateful, and number 2, let that motivate
us at least at some level, to do something for the deen of Allah, to do something to carry the
message of Islam forward, to do something to pass on the legacy of the Prophet that we
benefited from, that we do and play our part at some level

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