Journal 4 – Complaint Letter to a Friend

Original writing

OMG! You are never going to believe what I just read. There’s this ad that Kellogg’s like the

cereal brand put on the back of their cereal boxes that is literally so crazy. I had never heard

about this on the news or anything but this article was talking about how the ad was for Corn

Pops and basically all the corn pops on the back of the back are either like playing or having fun

and they are the color yellow. Like the normal color that corn pops are. But then there is this one

piece of cereal that is darker than the rest. AND HE IS A JANITOR! Isn’t that just so crazy? Like

they literally only had one piece of cereal that is darker and they made him mop the floors. I

think it's just crazy that they would even think to do that. Like corn pops are always one color

anyway so it was like blatantly trying to be racist. They removed the ad though but all they said

in their “apology” was that they did not mean to offend anyone and would update their artwork.

My thing is like how did you think no one would notice a piece of cereal that is different than all

the rest of them and then make him do work while all the other pieces are just playing around?

It's crazy! I think that the company needed to provide a better apology like explaining their

thought process behind the ad or saying that this is not what their company represents or

something not just that we are sorry that we could have offended you. It is offensive.

Goblin Tools Formalizer

Used at 10:03 am on Friday February 9, 2024

I recently came across a surprising advertisement on the back of a cereal box from Kellogg's, a

popular cereal brand. The advertisement featured Corn Pops, with most of the corn pops depicted
in their typical cheerful yellow color, playing and having fun. However, there was one corn pop

that stood out as it was depicted as a janitor and appeared darker than the others. This caught my

attention and left me perplexed. It seemed to be a clear attempt at diversity, but it came across as

insensitive and potentially racist. Kellogg's has since removed the ad and issued a brief apology,

stating they did not intend to offend anyone and would update their artwork. However, I believe

a more thorough and comprehensive apology was needed, which addressed the thought process

behind the ad and reaffirmed their commitment to inclusivity. It is important for companies to

consider the potential impact of their advertisements and take responsibility for any offensive or

inappropriate content.

Original sentence: I think that the company needed to provide a better apology like explaining

their thought process behind the ad or saying that this is not what their company represents or

something not just that we are sorry that we could have offended you.

Goblin Tools sentence: However, I believe a more thorough and comprehensive apology was

needed, which addressed the thought process behind the ad and reaffirmed their commitment to

inclusivity.

In both of these sentences, the changes that Kellogg’s could address are apparent. In my original

sentence, I stated that Kellogg’s should explain their thought process and that this ad is not

reflective of their company and the AI included those parts by saying that they need to address

the thought process and reaffirm their commitment to inclusivity. While the same ideas are being

stated in both, the AI has specific words that used to be formal. They used certain words like

comprehensive, addressed, and reaffirmed. These are all words that I did not use but were the

message that I was trying to get across. The sentence structure is more summarized than it was

originally. There is not as much detail in each sentence. For this specific sentence, the overall
structure did not change, however. The subjects in the sentence are still in the same order that I

wrote them, it is now more formal.

Second Portion

I think that formality is necessary for the audience of CEO/President of UNM/ or other people

that I am going to be addressing for Project 1 because it is important that these individuals both

understand what I am saying and also respect what I am saying. When a person writes informally

they often are not taken seriously because they write how they would be talking to that

individual. For example, if I was to write this message to the CEO I would never write like I

wrote earlier to my friend or how I am writing right now. When I write for class or for projects I

tend to use bigger words and less filler words, or using first person or using the word like.

Whereas when I am just writing as it comes to my head I write how I would text my friend or

how I would talk to someone. When I write for professional audiences I put a lot of thought into

how my writing will be read and how it will come off to that person. I always want to sound like

I know what I am talking about and writing informally does not do that. I also think that is

important to write formally so that the audience understands what you are saying. If I was to

write like this it would be rambling and a mess of sentences. The person reading would not be

able to remember what I was writing about or what my message, complaint, or argument was

about because they would be confused on what they are reading. There would be no structure

which would mean there would be no way to follow along with the writing. Formality is

important to me in any project. I like that right now I get to write this way because I never get to.

Every assignment or project I do takes a considerable amount of time to perfect and use the right

wordage and structure because I like to sound a certain way when people read my work. This AI
generator considers “formal” writing to be concise and use positive wording. For example, it

took away all of my negative comments about the brand and replaced it with words like the ad

was “potentially” racist when this is not what I said. I said that is was racist. So I believe that this

AI was trying to not assume which is a smart way to write when being professional. I think that

this AI writing did resonate with me because a lot of it sounds like something that I would write.

Not the exact same way but this is how I structure a lot of my other writings and it did not sound

unfamiliar to me. However, there are some things that I would like to change especially the

neutral, or even more positive, tone. I want my letter to come across as serious and not that I

think that Kellogg’s did nothing wrong. The AI writing sounds like it's not putting blame on the

company when that is exactly where the blame should be at. I think that I could create a

professional complaint letter that doesn’t adhere to the goblin.tools idea about formality by using

strong words that actually directly states that Kellogg’s was wrong.