Year 9 English

The Shiny Guys

Persuasive Writing: Letter to the Editor

Task:
Read the articles about mental health. Write a persuasive letter to the editor in response to
one of the articles about one of the topics listed below. You can use evidence from any of
the articles in your letter, as well as evidence from your own research.
Your letter to the editor is to be 300-400 words in length.
You are to complete this assessment in class time and at home.
Topics:
- Young people are not getting enough support regarding their mental health.
- COVID-19 has had a negative impact on young people’s mental health.
- There should be more school-based resources to support young people’s mental
health.
- Young people are not seeking assistance for their mental health due to existing
stigma.
- Topic of your choice (approved by your teacher)
Tips for your writing
- Read the articles carefully. Highlight and annotate the key ideas/evidence.
- Plan your letter to the editor
- Include evidence from the articles and further research in your letter
- Ensure you use persuasive language techniques in your writing including (but not
limited to):
o Appeals
o Inclusive language
o Emotive language
o Rhetorical question
o Repetition
o Rule of three
o Statistics
o Anecdotes

Additional resources
- Last Time I Cried – Tom Boyd: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyEXOyC_zBY
- https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/teenage-mental-health
- https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens
- Coping with COVID: the mental health impact on young people accessing headspace services
https://headspace.org.au/assets/Uploads/COVID-Client-Impact-Report-FINAL-11-8-20.pdf
Victorians are suffering and need mental health support
By Tegan Carrison, June 8, 2021
https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/victorians-are-suffering-and-need-mental-health-support-
20210607-p57yqs.html

Without question, Victorians’ mental health has suffered as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. The
restrictions put in place to protect the community’s physical health have pushed an already struggling
mental health care system to breaking point.

The Productivity Commission report into mental health and the Royal Commission into Victoria’s Mental
Health System have reported extensively on the impact of mental ill-health both from an economic
perspective and at an individual and community level. This was before the COVID-19 pandemic and the
resultant social isolation, uncertainty, job losses, school closures and economic implications for business
owners.

We cannot keep delaying real and immediate action. We cannot rely on Band-Aid solutions or vague plans
for the future that may or may not come to fruition.

The Australian Association of Psychologists (AAPi) hears every day from members of the public struggling to
either find the support they need or pay for the cost of treatment. We hear from hospitals and GPs trying to
find solutions for patients. We hear from psychologists and mental health professionals who are struggling
to keep up with demand for their services while being chronically underfunded.

At the same time, we hear from provisional psychologists who either cannot gain employment or are
working without payment for up to two years due to their inability to provide services under Medicare.

Victoria is a progressive and innovative state and we have seen through funding in the recent Victorian
Budget and the introduction of a mental health levy that the Victorian government understands mental
health needs to be a priority. What we are asking is for the Victorian government to lead the way and invest
in innovative solutions.

AAPi is offering tangible solutions to our mental health crisis now.

We are asking for provisional psychologists to have the ability to provide services under Medicare (with
adequate supervision). Provisional psychologists are in the last stages of supervised practice before reaching
full registration, with a minimum of four to five years of formal education behind them. Provisional
psychologists can already provide services under other funding sources, but not Medicare. This would boost
the workforce by more than 5000, increase access to treatment, reduce waiting lists and provide support to
early-career psychologists.

This is similar to the mobilisation of medical students we saw early in the pandemic and is in line with what
the new AMA Victoria president suggested this week, by utilising medical students to deliver vaccinations.
We are in a mental health crisis, and we need to respond appropriately and not wait until it is too late.

We need to raise the Medicare rebate to $150 for psychology appointments. Currently the rebate available
for clients is $87.45 for registered psychologists. By raising the rebate to $150, this would immediately
reduce or eliminate out-of-pocket expenses to those seeking help today. In a recent member survey of close
to 800 private practice psychologists, 86.1 per cent of respondents said they would be able to offer bulk-
billing services if the rebate was raised to $150.
Many clients cannot afford out-of-pocket expenses for mental health care, so do not seek the help they need
when they need it. This keeps clients untreated and perpetually unwell, so they return for services but are
unable to receive adequate intervention.

The costs, both monetarily and to society, associated with mental ill-health are clearly outlined in the
recent Productivity Commission Report on Mental Health. Almost one in five Australians experience some
form of mental illness in any given year, and the Commission estimates that the cost to Australia of mental
ill-health and suicide is around $200 billion to $220 billion per year.

We need funding for prevention and early intervention. Victorians who need to be able to access support
without a mental health diagnosis or referral from their doctor. In response to the 2019-20 bushfires, the
government provided access to anyone affected by the bushfires to self-refer to a psychologist or mental
health professional for up to 10 Medicare rebated sessions. We need this type of response for the COVID-19
pandemic immediately.

There is excellent evidence that early intervention prevents escalation into more serious and long-term
problems. We do not want to wait until people are “sick enough” to receive help. Prevention and early
intervention is also more cost effective in the long-term.

In the same way the Victorian government is taking decisive action to prevent the spread of COVID-19 and
protect the physical health of Victorians, now is the time to protect and support Victorians’ mental health.

Tegan Carrison is executive director of the Australian Association of Psychologists.

Eating disorders: it's a guy thing too
By Joel Feren, April 13, 2016
https://www.smh.com.au/opinion/eating-disorders-its-a-guy-thing-too-20160413-go52w1.html

Do you think it's only women and girls who develop eating disorders? Think again. Boys and men also
experience anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating. According to research, up to 25 per cent of people who have
an eating disorder are male. It is not only a women's issue.

Further, the prevalence of eating disorders among men appears to be increasing. Data indicates that
between 1995 and 2005 the incidence of extreme dieting, purging and bingeing more than doubled among
Australian men, with some observers predicting more than 1 million Australians will develop an eating
disorder in the next few years.

Worryingly, many men go undiagnosed. Eating Disorders Victoria suggests men are reluctant to seek help
because of stigma and poor awareness in the community, or because some health professionals may lack an
understanding of the issues. Evidence suggests women are more likely to seek treatment.

The stigma of having an eating disorder can be crippling for many men and this alone may prevent them
from seeking help.

Eating disorders are not a lifestyle choice and not a means of gaining attention. The risk of premature death
is increased, which is amplified by medical complications associated with the disorder, but suicide has been
linked as a significant cause of death for those with an eating disorder.

The risk factors for men and women appear to be the same, including low self-esteem or perfectionism, and
having been bullied, including being teased about weight and body shape.

The social pressures to attain an ideal body shape and size as a marker of personal success are extremely
high. Many men may resort to disordered eating and excessive exercise regimes to achieve a "perfect" body.
Warning signs can include a fixation on muscle growth and perceived imperfections. Other more obvious
signs may include anabolic steroid use, excessive exercise – often at the expense of other activities – and a
rigid eating routine.

Of all the eating disorders, men are more likely to experience binge eating, characterised by frequently
consuming excessive amounts of food, often in the absence of hunger. Bingeing often masks a deeper
problem. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, disgust and depression usually stem from an episode. A person
engaging in binge eating may resort to fasting and restrictive diets to counteract the negative feelings that
often follow.

Images tagged on social media sites with handles such as "thinspo and "fitspo" are also likely distort a man's
perception of what is "ideal". These photos may foster an obsession with diet, weight and exercise. It is often
assumed only teenage girls succumb to these pressures but men can also fall victim to this type of graphic
imagery. Men, more than ever, are being hit by social pressures and messages that health perfection leads
to superiority and a more successful life.

A frightening new phenomenon that has emerged in the male population in recent years is the unhealthy
obsession with so-called "healthy eating". This manifests as orthorexia nervosa, Greek for "good appetite".

Body builders and excessive gym goers are particularly prone to this concerning development, which is
especially prevalent among young men.
Orthorexia nervosa may manifest as an innocent attempt to have a healthier diet but may snowball into a
fixation on food quality and purity. Feelings of anxiety and vulnerability may exacerbate this obsession.

The preoccupation with healthy eating may take up a disproportionate amount of time and attention and
may lead to feelings of guilt and self-loathing if the individual deviates from the diet.

This is very different to someone who eats well most of the time but is still able to enjoy occasional
indulgences without negative feelings.

Eating disorders can be debilitating but recovery is achievable. Early intervention is crucial and increases the
likelihood of a successful recovery. Recognising warning signs holds the key to early diagnosis and
rehabilitation.

It is paramount that health professionals improve their skills in this domain. Doctors, psychologists,
psychiatrists and dietitians must learn to not only recognise the danger signs, but also to implement
strategies as early as possible to give the patient the best possible chance of overcoming the disorder. Teams
of health professionals working together to support people with eating disorders has been recognised as the
most effective approach.

Government support services also play a vital role in supporting the growing numbers of sufferers. Federal
government funding in mental health has increased but more needs to be done.

We must reduce the stigma and increase awareness about eating disorders, so that we can help those who
are most vulnerable and in need of help.

Joel Feren is a practising dietitian.

Mental health battles don’t discriminate as young players in pressure cooker
By Matthew Pavlich, May 21, 2021

https://www.watoday.com.au/national/western-australia/matthew-pavlich-mental-health-battles-don-t-
discriminate-as-young-players-in-pressure-cooker-20210520-p57th7.html

The more money that professional athletes earn, the more expectation and pressure they face from
coaches, fans and the media.

Over the past 20 years spent playing, administrating and broadcasting in the AFL, I’ve seen clubs’ salary caps
skyrocket to almost $13.2 million in 2021. To put that in perspective, as a first-round draftee in 2000, I was
paid $31,000 in base salary and $1,800 for the 18 senior games I played in my debut season.

Just two decades on (and even after a 9 per cent pay cut due to COVID), last year’s number one pick, Jamarra
Ugle-Hagan, will be paid a base of $90,000 and $4000 per match for each senior game he plays for the
Western Bulldogs in 2021.

More money, yes. But more professional demands, more analysis and more stress. Definitely.

The unintended consequence of all of this extra money and added pressure is a mental burden many young
men aren’t ready for. Anxiety and depression are a deep concern in our community.

And given AFL players are human, it is therefore a deep issue in the game.

Once a ‘check-in and check-out’ part-time workplace, the AFL has quickly become a 45-hours a week
professional job, with no relief once you leave ‘the office’ each day.

Add this to the addictive aspects of social media and the resulting vitriol that can accompany these
platforms, and for some, it can be too much.

There is no escape from life in the public eye.

If you’re Nat Fyfe or Nic Natanui here in Perth, you would much rather stay at home than go out.

Although our athletes can seem superhuman, mental anguish is a common thread the public share with
them. Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians under the age of 44 and depression is now the
leading form of disability globally.

As a patron of Zero2Hero, I was proud last week to help raise more than $200,000 while I battled sore
muscles and blistered heels along with another 55 local WA heroes, trekking the 135-kilometre Cape to Cape
(from Leeuwin to Naturaliste) in our beautiful South West.

The WA charity promotes mental health and wellbeing and helps prevent suicide. Their programs educate,
engage and empower young people to be mental health heroes. The funds raised will support them in
delivering mental health and suicide prevention programs to thousands of young West Australians and go a
long way towards purchasing their own campsite in 2022.

Staggeringly, 75 per cent of mental health problems are formed before the age of 25, with 45 per cent of
Australians likely to experience a mental illness in their lifetime.

More than 80 per cent of young people reach out to a friend when they are struggling. Not a parent or
teacher. It is why these programs are so crucial in our WA community.

Be it an AFL star, politician or the person next door, mental health battles don’t discriminate.
Coping with COVID: the mental health impact on young people accessing
headspace services
Headspace report, August 2020
https://headspace.org.au/assets/Uploads/COVID-Client-Impact-Report-FINAL-11-8-20.pdf

In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, at the end of March 2020 the Australian Government urged
Australians to stay at home unless it was essential to go out. In mid May 2020, restrictions slowly
began to ease. This report presents the results of a survey of 3,575 young people who received
services at a headspace centre between 25th May and 5th June. The survey asked about the impact
of COVID-19 on their current mental health and wellbeing, the impact COVID-19 and lockdown
restrictions had on their lives, the strategies they were using to cope, and the impact of COVID-19
on their future aspirations.
The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has clearly had an impact on young people. Three-quarters (74%)
of participants reported that their mental health was a little (47%) or a lot worse (27%) since the
outbreak of COVID-19.

 Mood and wellbeing – Eighty-six per cent of young people reported a negative impact on
either their mood, wellbeing, or sleeping. In particular, 75% reported a negative impact on
their mood and 59 per cent reported a negative impact on their sleeping.
 Activities and routine – Ninety per cent of participants reported a negative impact on at
least one area related to their activities and routine, in particular 75% reported a negative
impact on their routine and 55% reported a negative impact on exercise or physical activity.
 Relationships – Impact on relationships was an area of mixed responses for many
participants. Seventy-seven per cent of young people reported a negative impact on some
aspect of their relationships. In particular, 70% reported a negative impact on their
relationships with friends.
 Work and study – Work and study was another important area of impact for young people.
77% of young people reported a negative impact on either their work, study or financial
situation, including 65% who reported a negative impact on their school or university
situation. 61% of 18 to 25 year olds reported a negative impact on their work situation.
 Home life – A smaller proportion (45%) of young people reported a negative impact on
questions relating to their home and living situation, compared to other aspects of their
lives.
Twelve per cent of young people reported that they had delayed seeking support from headspace
(somewhat or a lot) due to COVID-19.
“I have lost motivation to do most activities that aren’t considered ‘essential’ and don’t really see
myself doing anything in the future, aside from graduating high school.” – Female, age 15-17, NSW
An area of concern for young people was the impact that COVID-19 was having on their ability to
achieve their future life goals. Young people reported that the COVID-19 situation has had a
substantial impact on their confidence achieving their goals, with half of respondents indicating a
high impact (a response of 7 or above on a scale of 1 to 10).
“Corona has impacted my school work, my actual work and has made it hard to believe that I will
have the grades or the money to survive outside of year 12, let alone accomplish my academic
dreams.”– Female, age 15-17, QLD
However, young people also reported positive impacts, including increased compassion and
empathy for others.
Sixty-nine per cent of young people indicated that they felt more empathy towards vulnerable
people, and 51 per cent felt more compassionate or generous towards others. A small proportion
(8%) of those young people who provided qualitative feedback indicated that they felt more
hopeful about their future, or hopeful for positive social change as a result of the pandemic.
Some young people reported positive impacts on their financial situation (22%), interaction with
family members (20%), and their exercise or physical activity (18%). Twenty-eight per cent reported
only positive impacts on their lives.
“Due to having more time to myself to focus on me and my interests and goals, I feel as though I
have an idea of where I want my life to lead in the not-sodistant future. Being able to enjoy some
time alone and start up new and old hobbies was great for me.” – Male, age 21-23, VIC
Family and friends remain a key support for many young people. 90% of young people spoke to
either family or friends to help them cope with the impacts of COVID-19, and ‘talking to family’ was
the most frequently reported coping strategy, revealing the value of family in young people’s
mental health treatment and support. Eighty-two per cent of young people who reported talking to
family indicated that this was a helpful strategy.
Young people demonstrated that they had been drawing on a range of strategies to support their
wellbeing. Talking to others was the most frequently reported strategy, either to family or
significant others (82%) or to friends (73%), while many young people also engaged in activities and
hobbies (82%). Young people reported adopting a multitude of strategies, with an average of 4.6
strategies. One positive outcome of the COVID-19 pandemic is that some young people reported
having more time to engage in these activities and strategies.
The vast majority of young people who reported engaging in help-seeking indicated that these
strategies were helpful. Seeking in-person or phone / video support from a healthcare professional
was rated as helpful by almost all young people who used these strategies (92% for each).
Findings from this study illustrate some encouraging positive outcomes. Young people have
demonstrated considerable positivity, reporting increased compassion and empathy for others, and
the role of family is an important support for many. While COVID-19 has had an impact on the
mental health and wellbeing of many young people, it is also evident that they have been engaging
in proactive and multi-faceted self-care. However, the COVID-19 pandemic is still unfolding, with
significant uncertainty in areas that impact young people’s wellbeing (such as work, study, and
social connection). It is clear that the pandemic has disrupted many young people’s lives and, while
impacts are clearly already evident after only a couple of months, there are likely to be longer term
effects on young people. Demand for support is likely to increase over time, as the longer term
impacts of job losses, disruption to education, disconnection from friends and family, and general
mental health problems arise.
 Planning your Letter to the Editor
Letter Date
conventions
Dear editor of ___
Re: Article being referred to

Purpose Introduce yourself

and
contention State the purpose of the letter and outline the issue to be addressed

Clearly state your stance on the issue (your contention)

Argument 1 State your first argument in support of your contention. Give evidence (for example, data
and/or examples) to support your point of view.

Argument 2 State your second argument in support of your contention. Give evidence (for example,
data and/or examples) to support your point of view.

Conclusion The conclusion ties your argument together. It should include recommendations/advice
and suggested actions/a solution or a ‘Call to Action’. Conclude with a strong statement.

Sign off Yours faithfully

Signature

Name
School
Rubric
1 2 3 4
Knowledge Contention is included. Contention is backed up by an Contention is backed up by relevant
of the topic opinion. arguments.

Use of Some evidence is used that is Evidence is used to justify arguments. Evidence from multiple sources is used
evidence related to the arguments. to justify arguments.

Structure Letter is written as one piece Letter is structured into paragraphs. Letter follows the letter to the editor Letter is engaging for the reader.
of text. structure.

Persuasive An attempt has been made to Several persuasive techniques are Letter employs a variety of persuasive Letter employs a variety of
language use persuasive techniques. used in an effective way. techniques in conjunction with a persuasive techniques and an
considered tone. effective tone designed to appeal to
the audience.

Language: Simple sentences are used. Complex sentences are used. Text connectives are used to order Expressive language is used to
To convey sentences and ideas. convey meaning.
meaning

Language: Fluency of letter is impacted Letter has been edited and most Letter can be read fluently.
Conventions by spelling and punctuation spelling and punctuation errors have
errors. been removed.

Planning Planning sheet has been

completed in full.

____ / 22