On Call Neurology 4th Edition Stephen

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ON CALL
Neurology
 Be ON CALL with confidence!
Successfully managing on-call situations requires a master-
ful combination of speed, skills, and knowledge. Rise to the
occasion with ELSEVIER’s On Call Series! These pocket-
size resources provide you with immediate access to the
vital, step-by-step information you need to succeed!

Other Titles in the ON CALL Series

Adams & Bresnick: On Call Surgery
Bernstein, Poag, & Rubinstein: On Call Psychiatry
Marshall & Ruedy: On Call Principles & Protocols
Nocton & Gedeit: On Call Pediatrics
ON CALL
Neurology
4th Edition
STEPHAN A. MAYER, MD, FCCM
William T. Gossett Chair of Neurology
Co-Director, Neuroscience Institute
Henry Ford Health System
Professor of Neurology
Wayne State University School of Medicine
Detroit, Michigan

RANDOLPH S. MARSHALL, MD, MS

Elisabeth K Harris Professor of Neurology
Chief, Stroke Division
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving Medical Center
New York, New York
Elsevier
3251 Riverport Lane
St. Louis, Missouri 63043

ON CALL NEUROLOGY, FOURTH EDITION ISBN: 978-0-323-54694-2

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To the New York-Presbyterian residents, past and present,
who have helped us teach and learn.
This page intentionally left blank
Contributors
CIGDEM AKMAN, MD
Chief, Child Neurology
Director, Pediatric Epilepsy
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 27: Pediatric Neurology
NEERAJ BADJATIA, MD, MSc
Professor and Vice Chair
Department of Neurology
University of Maryland School of
Medicine
Baltimore, MD, United States
Chapter 9: Head Injury
MICHELLE BELL, MD
Assistant Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 10: Focal Mass Lesions
COMANA CIORIOU, MD
Assistant Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 18: Pain Syndromes
JAN CLAASSEN, MD, PhD
Associate Professor of Neurology
and Neurosurgery
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 4: Acute Seizures and
Status Epilepticus
NEHA DANGAYACH, MD,
MSCR
Assistant Professor
Departments of Neurosurgery and
Neurology
Icahn School of Medicine at
Mount Sinai
Co-Director, Neurosciences ICU
Mount Sinai Health System
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 16: Neuromuscular
Respiratory Failure
ERROL LLOYD GORDON, Jr.,
MD
Associate Professor
Department of Internal
Medicine
University of Oklahoma College of
Medicine, School of
Community Medicine
Tulsa, OK, United States
Chapter 19: Brain Death
vii
viii Contributors
LAWRENCE HONIG, MD, PhD
Professor of Neurology
Director, Center of Excellence for
Alzheimer’s Disease
Department of Neurology, Taub
Institute, and Sergievsky Center
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 28: Dementia
FABIO IWAMOTO, MD
Assistant Professor
Deputy Director, Division of
Neuro-Oncology
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 23: Neurooncology
JULIE KROMM, BMSc, MD,
FRCPC
Postdoctoral Clinical Fellow
Department of Neurological
Critical Care
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 4: Acute Seizures and
Status Epilepticus
ELAN D. LOUIS, MD
Professor of Neurology
Director, Movement Disorders
Department of Neurology
Yale University School of
Medicine
Professor of Epidemiology
Yale University School of Public
Health
New Haven, CT, United States
Chapter 25: Movement Disorders
JEREMY J. MOELLER, MD,
FRCPC
Associate Professor
Department of Neurology
Yale University School of
Medicine
New Haven, CT, United States
Chapter 26: Epilepsy and Seizure
Disorders
JAMES M. NOBLE, MD, MS
Associate Professor of Neurology
Department of Neurology
Taub Institute
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 8: Delirium and
Amnesia
ASHWINI K. RAO, OTR/L,
EdD
Associate Professor
Department of Rehabilitation and
Regenerative Medicine
(Physical Therapy)
G.H. Sergievsky Center
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 11: Gait Failure
CLAIRE RILEY, MD
Assistant Professor of Neurology
Director, Multiple Sclerosis
Center
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 21: Demyelinating and
Inflammatory Disorders
of the CNS

KIRK ROBERTS, MD
Associate Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 14: Dizziness and
Vertigo
JANET C. RUCKER, MD
Bernard A. and Charlotte Marden
Professor of Neurology
Departments of Neurology and
Opthalmology
New York University School of
Medicine, NYU Langone
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 12: Acute Visual
Disturbances
HIRAL SHAH, MD
Assistant Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 11: Gait Failure
TINA T. SHIH, MD
Associate Professor
Department of Neurology
University of California at San
Francisco, San Francisco
San Francisco, CA, United States
Chapter 17: Syncope
Contributors ix
KIRAN THAKUR, MD
Winifred M. Pitkin Assistant
Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 22: Infections of the
CNS
NATALIE WEATHERED, MD,
MS
Assistant Professor of Neurology
Department of Neurology
Weill Cornell Medicine
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 7: Spinal Cord
Compression
LOUIS WEIMER, MD
Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University Irving
Medical Center
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 20: Nerve and Muscle
Diseases
MARIANNA SHNAYDERMAN
YUGRAKH, MD
Assistant Professor
Department of Neurology
Columbia University
New York, NY, United States
Chapter 15: Headache
This page intentionally left blank
Preface

In 1997 we published the first edition of On Call: Neurology. The

book was meant to serve as a pocket reference for students,
trainees, advanced practice providers and physicians who care
for neurological patients in the hospital and clinic. The goal was
to provide the reader with accessible, highly structured protocols
for the assessment and management of neurologic disorders in
the emergency room, intensive care unit, hospital floor, or outpa-
tient setting.
Long thought of as primarily a diagnostic specialty, in 1997 neu-
rology was just beginning to enter a new era of advances in ther-
apeutics. Tissue plasminogen activator had only recently been
approved for acute ischemic stroke, a new generation of disease-
modifying biological treatments for multiple sclerosis had just been
introduced, and an explosion of new antiepileptic medications
were starting to move through the pipeline, just to name a few.
It was an exciting time, and we felt that to some extent the neuro-
logical literature had not kept up. Traditionally there was too much
of a focus on diagnosis rather than treatment, and on complexity
rather than simplicity.
With On Call: Neurology we sought to modernize the tradi-
tional clinical pocket guide by emphasizing therapeutics (for
instance, all medications with dosages were type set in bold) and
by walking the reader through the focused and goal-directed
thought processes of an experienced clinical neurologist. Designed
to be broad in scope, the book by necessity was limited in depth,
with the suggested management protocols intending to serve as
a starting point for action. It was our hope that the protocols pre-
sented in the book would stimulate students of neurology (whether
a medical student or an attending neurologist) to research the lit-
erature, analyze the available data, and reach independent conclu-
sions regarding optimal patient care.
Happily, this turned out to be the case, and it is safe to make the
argument that On Call: Neurology is a classic of the neurology
pocket guide genre. Ubiquitous in resident call rooms, nursing sta-
tions, and white coat pockets around the world, over the past
20 years the book has introduced an entire generation of young

xi
xii Preface

doctors and nurses to neurology. We are now thrilled to present a

new fourth edition of the book, fully updated to reflect the most
recent advances in neurological diagnostics and therapeutics. We
wrote the first edition entirely by ourselves, but as neurology has
grown in complexity and because of the sheer number of therapeu-
tic options available, On Call: Neurology now has a completely mul-
tiauthor format, allowing true experts to impart their wisdom.
We are grateful to our patients, colleagues, and teachers at The
Neurological Institute of New York at New York-Presbyterian
Hospital who encouraged and inspired us to write the first edition
of On Call: Neurology. In particular, we would like to thank J.P.
Mohr, John Brust, and Matthew Fink, and we would like to honor
the memory of Lewis P. “Bud” Rowland, who was truly one of the
great academic neurologists of the 20th century. Their voices can be
heard in many of the pages of this text, and their dedication to
teaching and education has served as an inspiration to us, as well
as countless other neurologists.
STEPHAN A. MAYER
RANDOLPH S. MARSHALL
Contents

INTRODUCTION

1 Approach to the Neurologic Patient On Call:

History Taking, Differential Diagnosis, and
Anatomic Localization, 2
2 The Neurologic Examination, 11
3 Diagnostic Studies, 29

PATIENT-RELATED PROBLEMS: THE COMMON

CALLS

4 Acute Seizures and Status Epilepticus, 46

5 Stupor and Coma, 68
6 Acute Stroke, 88
7 Spinal Cord Compression, 112
8 Delirium and Amnesia, 122
9 Head Injury, 136
10 Focal Mass Lesions, 150
11 Gait Failure, 161
12 Acute Visual Disturbances, 173
13 Increased Intracranial Pressure, 188
14 Dizziness and Vertigo, 202
15 Headache, 211
16 Neuromuscular Respiratory Failure, 237

xiii
xiv Contents

17 Syncope, 256
18 Pain Syndromes, 264
19 Brain Death, 277

SELECTED NEUROLOGIC DISORDERS

20 Nerve and Muscle Diseases, 286

21 Demyelinating and Inflammatory Disorders of the
Central Nervous System, 307
22 Infections of the Central Nervous System, 333
23 Neurooncology, 358
24 Cerebrovascular Disease, 378
25 Movement Disorders, 397
26 Epilepsy and Seizure Disorders, 412
27 Pediatric Neurology, 432
28 Dementia, 456
Appendix A: Muscles of the Neck and
Brachial Plexus, 474
Appendix B: Muscles of the Perineum and
Lumbosacral Plexus, 478
Appendix C: Brachial Plexus, 480
Appendix D: Lumbar Plexus, 482
Appendix E: Sensory Dermatome Map, 483
Appendix F: Surface Map of the Brain, 484
Appendix G: Nuclei of the Brain Stem, 485
Appendix H: Surface Anatomy of the
Brain Stem, 486
On-Call Formulary: Commonly Prescribed
Medications in Neurology, 487
Index, 520
Structure of the Book

This book is divided into four main sections:

The first section, Introduction, provides an overview of the
clinical approach to the neurologic patient, including the neuro-
logic examination, neuroanatomic localization, and neurodiagnos-
tic testing.
The second section, Patient-Related Problems: The Common
Calls, is a symptom-oriented approach to chief complaints that fre-
quently require neurologic consultation in the emergency depart-
ment, clinic, or hospital floor. Each problem is approached from its
inception, beginning with relevant questions that should be asked
over the phone, temporary orders that should be given, and the
major life-threatening disorders that should be considered as
one approaches the bedside.

PHONE CALL
Questions
Pertinent questions to assess the urgency of the situation.
Orders
Urgent orders to stabilize the patient and gain additional informa-
tion before you arrive at the bedside.
Inform RN
RN to be informed of the time the house staff anticipates arrival at
the bedside.

ELEVATOR THOUGHTS
The differential diagnoses to be considered while the house staff is
on the way to assess the patient (i.e., while in the elevator).

MAJOR THREAT TO LIFE

Neurologic emergencies that can lead to death or neurologic
devastation unless immediate action is taken.

xv
xvi Structure of the Book

BEDSIDE
Quick Look Test
The quick look test is a rapid visual assessment to place the patient
into one of three categories: well, sick, or critical. This helps deter-
mine the necessity of immediate intervention.
Vital Signs
Which vital sign abnormalities to look out for.

Selective History and Chart Review

Including pertinent negatives and neurologic review of systems.
Selective Physical and Neurologic Examination
A rapid, focused neurologic examination designed to assess the
extent and degree of neurologic dysfunction.

MANAGEMENT
Provides guidelines for neurodiagnostic testing and gives access to
indicated medications and dosages. When applicable, checklists
and specific management protocols are provided.
The third section, Selected Neurologic Disorders, provides an
overview of important neurologic diseases and their management
not covered comprehensively in the “common calls” section, such
as central nervous system infections, multiple sclerosis, neuromus-
cular diseases, movement disorders, and brain tumors.
The fourth section, the Appendices, provides neuroanatomic
references and other materials helpful for managing neurologic
patients.
Finally, the On-Call Formulary is a compendium of medica-
tions commonly used to treat neurologic disorders. Drug indica-
tions, mechanisms of action, dosages, routes of administration,
side effects, and comments for optimal use are provided.
Commonly Used
Abbreviations

ABG arterial blood gas

ACA anterior cerebral artery
ACE angiotensin-converting enzyme
ACTH adrenocorticotropic hormone
AFB acid-fast bacillus
AIDS acquired immunodeficiency syndrome
AION anterior ischemic optic neuropathy
ALS amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
AMN adrenomyeloneuropathy
ANA antinuclear antibody
ANCA antineutrophil cytoplasmic antibody
APD afferent pupillary defect
aPTT activated partial thromboplastin time
AV arteriovenous
AVM arteriovenous malformation
BAER brain stem auditory evoked response
BID two times a day
BP blood pressure
BUN blood urea nitrogen
CAA cerebral amyloid angiopathy
CBC complete blood cell count
CBF cerebral blood flow
CHF congestive heart failure
CIDP chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy
CK creatine kinase
CMAP compound muscle action potential
CMV cytomegalovirus
CN cranial nerve
CNS central nervous system
CPAP continuous positive airway pressure
CPK creatine phosphokinase
CPP cerebral perfusion pressure
CPR cardiopulmonary resuscitation
CRAO central retinal artery occlusion

xvii
xviii Commonly Used Abbreviations

CSF cerebrospinal fluid

CT computed tomography
D50W 50% dextrose in water
D5W 5% dextrose in water
D5WNS 5% dextrose in normal saline
DDAVP desmopressin acetate
DIC disseminated intravascular coagulation
DVT deep vein thrombosis
DWI diffusion-weighted imaging
EBV Epstein-Barr virus
ECG electrocardiogram
EEG electroencephalography
EMG electromyography
EP electrophysiologic
ER emergency room
ESR erythrocyte sedimentation rate
EtOH ethanol
FDA Food and Drug Administration
FFP fresh frozen plasma
FNF finger-nose-finger
GBM glioblastoma multiforme
GBS Guillain-Barre syndrome
GCS Glasgow Coma scale
GI gastrointestinal
GU genitourinary
hCG human chorionic gonadotropin
HEENT head, eyes, ears, nose, throat
HIV human immunodeficiency virus
HKS heel-knee-shin
HR heart rate
HSE herpes simplex encephalitis
HSV-1 herpes simplex virus 1
HTLV-1 human T-cell lymphotropic virus type 1
Hz Hertz
ICA internal carotid artery
ICH intracerebral hemorrhage
ICP intracranial pressure
ICU intensive care unit
IgG immunoglobulin G
IM intramuscular
IMV intermittent mandatory ventilation
INO internuclear ophthalmoplegia
INR international normalized ratio
ION ischemic optic neuropathy
IV intravenous
 Commonly Used Abbreviations xix

IVIG intravenous immunoglobulin

IVP intravenous push
KVO keep the vein open
LCM lymphocytic choriomeningitis
LFT liver function test
LP lumbar puncture
MABP mean arterial blood pressure
MAO monoamine oxidase
MCA middle cerebral artery
MELAS mitochondrial encephalomyopathy, lactic acidosis,
and stroke
MI myocardial infarction
MLD metachromatic leukodystrophy
MLF median longitudinal fasciculus
MMN multifocal motor neuropathy
MMSE Mini-Mental State Examination
MRI magnetic resonance imaging
MS multiple sclerosis
MSA multiple-system atrophy
NCS nerve conduction study
NCV nerve conduction velocity
NPO nil per os (nothing by mouth)
NS normal saline
NSAID nonsteroidal antiinflammatory drug
NSE neuron-specific enolase
OCB oligoclonal band
OKN opticokinetic nystagmus
ON optic neuritis
PCA posterior cerebral artery
PCNSL primary central nervous system lymphoma
PCO2 partial pressure of carbon dioxide
PCR polymerase chain reaction
PE pulmonary embolism
PEEP positive end-expiratory pressure
PET positron emission tomography
PLED periodic lateralizing epileptiform discharge
PML progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy
PNET primitive neuroectodermal tumor
PO per os (by mouth)
PO2 partial pressure of oxygen
PPD purified protein derivative
PPRF paramedian pontine reticular formation
PRN as needed
PT prothrombin time
PTT partial thromboplastin time
Another random document with
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 “You have certainly been misinformed,” said she; “you are
welcome to search the house, but be assured you will find no such
men here.”
“Come, come, my little fair un, that is all in my eye and Betty
Martin. Here they are, this is certain, and we are determined to make
our quarters good till we find them out;” and away they went to
search the other apartments of the house.
Meanwhile our charming little protectress, alarmed at the
threatened siege, and fearing that we would be starved into a
surrender, took the opportunity, while the gang were rummaging the
parlour and some other bedrooms, to supply our garrison with
provisions. A basket with boiled ham, a couple of capons, a
household loaf of ample dimensions, half-a-dozen of brown stout,
the family bottle of excellent stingo, and a can of water, were
expeditiously handed up the vent. This supply set our minds quite at
ease, as we knew it would enable us to stand a week’s close siege. Our
patience, however, was not put to this trial, for the gang, after a two
hours’ vigilant search, abandoned their pursuit in despair, and
departed.
We could not, of course, think of venturing up to Bristol to look
after our wages, so we employed our landlord to perform this duty.
After a good many vexatious delays, we succeeded in getting our
money, paid off all scores, and began to think how we were to
dispose of ourselves. My companion Lindsay was so deeply smitten
with the charms of one of the youthful sirens, that he found it
impossible to depart; and I had to concert all my future projects
alone, and leave him bound in Cupid’s silken chain.
My blue jacket and fringed dimity trousers, my check shirt and
scarlet vest, were at once discarded, and their places supplied by
articles of a more landward appearance. I knew that it would be
impossible to travel the country safely in seaman’s dress, so I
determined to try my fortune as a beau. The body of Bill Bobstay
incased in a ruffled shirt, silk vest, white stockings, breeches
buttoned at the knees, and a swallow-tailed coat, presented such a
curious spectacle, that he himself could scarcely help laughing at it,
and it seemed to produce the same effects on the landlord’s
daughter, as she with a witching smile chucked up my chin, until she
arranged the bights and ends of my white neckcloth, according to the
most approved form. She took as long to perform this little office as I
could have rigged in toto, and seamen are never backward in acts of
courtesy, when the ladies are concerned. Her ruby lips were all the
while within marlingspike’s length of my own, and how could I avoid
saluting them?
Thus equipped, I set out on foot for Bath, but as I had no business
to perform in that city of invalided nabobs, I immediately took coach
for London, and after travelling all night, I, on awaking from a short
nap, found myself rattling over the stones at Hyde Park corner.
My object was to procure a passage to the northward, in one of the
Leith or Berwick smacks, and I expected in eight or ten days, after an
absence of as many years, to set foot once more on my native soil. As
soon therefore as the coach stopped in Piccadilly, I alighted, and
knowing the bearing by compass of London Bridge, I, without
waiting to breakfast, winded my way through the Haymarket, past
Charing Cross, along the Strand, Fleet Street, and Ludgate Hill, till I
arrived at St Paul’s. From this point I took a fresh departure, and
holding as nearly as cross streets would admit, a south-easterly
course, gained Thames Street, and soon found myself in the vicinity
of the Tower.
Smartly as I had moved my body along, my imagination, as is
usual with me, had got a long way a-head. It had obtained a passage,
secured a fair wind, landed me on the pier of Leith, and was
arranging my introductory visit to my friends, so as to produce the
greatest sum of agreeable surprise. But there is much, says the old
proverb, between the cup and the lip. In the midst of this agreeable
reverie, as I was crossing Tower Hill, I found myself tapped on the
shoulder, and on looking round, was accosted by a man in seaman’s
dress in the words, “What ship?” I assumed an air of gravity and
surprise, and told him I apprehended he was under some mistake, as
my business did not lie among shipping. But the fellow was too well
acquainted with his business to be thus easily put off. He gave a
whistle, the sound of which still vibrates in my ear, and in a moment
I was surrounded by half-a-dozen ruffians, whom I immediately
suspected, and soon found out to be the press-gang. They dragged
me hurriedly through several lanes and alleys, amid the mingled
sympathy and execrations of a numerous crowd, which had collected
to witness my fate, and soon landed me in the rendezvous. I was
immediately ushered into the presence of the lieutenant of the gang,
who questioned me as to my name, country, profession, and what
business had led me to Tower Hill. Totally unexpecting any such
interruption, I had not thought of concocting any plausible story, and
my answers were evasive and contradictory. I did not acknowledge
having been at sea; but my hands were examined, found hard with
work, and discoloured with tar. This circumstance condemned me,
and I was remanded for further examination.
Some of the gang then offered me spirits, affected to pity me, and
pretended to comfort me under my misfortune, but like the
comforters of Job, miserable comforters were they all. The very
scoundrel who first seized me put on a sympathising look, and
observed what a pity it was to be disappointed when so near the
object of my wishes. Such sympathy from such a source was truly
provoking; but having no way of showing my resentment, I was
constrained to smother it.
In a short time I was reconducted into the presence of the
lieutenant, who told me, as I was already in his hands, and would
assuredly be kept, I might as well make a frank confession of my
circumstances. It would save time, and insure me better treatment.
What could I do? I might indeed have continued silent and sullen,
but of what service could this prove? It might, or might not, have
procured me worse treatment, but one thing I knew well, it would
not restore me to liberty. I therefore acknowledged that I had been a
voyage to the West Indies, and had come home carpenter of a ship.
His eye brightened at this intelligence.
“I am glad of this, my lad. We are very much in want of carpenters.
Step along with these lads, and they will give you a passage aboard.”
The same fellows who had first seized me led me along the way we
came, handed me into a pinnace lying at Tower Wharf, and before
mid-day I was safely handed on board the Enterprize.
What crosses and vexations, and reverses and disappointments,
are we mortals destined to meet with in life’s tempestuous voyage! At
eight in the morning I entered London a free agent, elated with joy,
and buoyed up with hope. At noon I entered a prison ship, a
miserable slave, oppressed with sorrow, and ready to despair.
 Despair, did I say? No. I will have nothing to do with that disturber
of human peace. When misfortune befalls us, we are not to sit down
in despondency and sigh. Up and be doing, is the wise man’s maxim,
and it was the maxim I was resolved to observe. What befell me on
my arrival on board the Enterprize, what reception I met with, and
what mirth I excited as I was lowered into the press-room, with my
short breeches and swallow-tailed coat—what measures I exerted to
regain my liberty, and what success attended these measures—the
space at my disposal prevents me setting forth.—Paisley Magazine.
 THE LAIRD OF COOL’S GHOST.

Upon the 3d day of February 1722 at seven o’clock in the evening,

after I had parted with Thurston, and coming up the burial road, one
came up riding after me. Upon hearing the noise of the horse’s feet, I
took it to be Thurston; but looking back, and seeing the horse of a
gray colour, I called, “Who’s there?” The answer was, “The Laird of
Cool; be not afraid.” Looking to him with the little light the moon
afforded, I took him to be Collector Castlelaw, who had a mind to put
a trick upon me, and immediately I struck with all my force with my
cane, thinking I would leave a mark upon him that would make him
remember his presumption; but although sensible I aimed as well as
ever I did in my life, yet my cane finding no resistance, but flying out
of my hand to the distance of sixty feet, and observing it by its white
head, I dismounted and took it up, but had some difficulty in
mounting again, partly by reason of a certain sort of trembling
throughout my whole joints, something also of anger had its share in
my confusion; for though he laughed when my staff flew out of my
hand, coming up with him again (who halted all the time I was
seeking my staff), I asked him once more who he was? He answered,
“The Laird of Cool.” I inquired, first, if he was the Laird of Cool;
secondly, what brought him thither? and thirdly, what was his
business with me? He answered, “The reason that I want you is, that
I know you are disposed to do for me what none of your brethren in
Nithsdale will so much as attempt, though it serve never so good a
purpose.” I told him I would never refuse to do anything to serve a
good purpose, if I thought I was obliged to do it as my duty. He
answered, that I had undertaken what few in Nithsdale would, for he
had tried several persons on that subject, who were more obliged to
him than I was to any person living. Upon this I drew my bridle
reins, and asked in surprise, what I had undertaken? He answered,
“That on Sabbath last, I heard you condemned Mr Paton, and the
other ministers of Dumfries, for dissuading Mr Menzies from
keeping his appointment with me; and if you had been in their place,
would have persuaded the lad to do as I desired, and that you would
have gone with him yourself, if he had been afraid; and if you had
been in Mr Paton’s place, you would have delivered my commissions
yourself, as they tended to do several persons justice.” I asked him,
“Pray, Cool, who informed you that I talked at that rate?” to which he
answered, “You must know that we are acquainted with many things
that the living know nothing about; these things you did say, and
much more to that purpose, and deliver my commissions to my
loving wife.” Upon this I said, “’Tis a pity, Cool, that you who know so
many things should not know the difference between an absolute and
conditional promise; I did, indeed, at the time you mention, blame
Mr Paton, for I thought him justly blamable, in hindering the lad to
meet with you, and if I had been in his place, I would have acted
quite the reverse; but I did never say, that if you would come to
Innerwick and employ me, that I would go all the way to Dumfries on
such an errand; that is what never so much as entered into my
thoughts.” He answered, “What were your thoughts I don’t pretend
to know, but I can depend on my information these were your words.
But I see you are in some disorder; I will wait upon you when you
have more presence of mind.”
By this time we were at James Dickson’s enclosure, below the
churchyard; and when I was recollecting in my mind, if ever I had
spoken these words he alleged, he broke off from me through the
churchyard, with greater violence than any man on horseback is
capable of, with such a singing and buzzing noise, as put me in
greater disorder than I was in all the time I was with him. I came to
my house, and my wife observed more than ordinary paleness in my
countenance, and alleged that something ailed me. I called for a
dram, and told her I was a little uneasy. After I found myself a little
refreshed, I went to my closet to meditate on this most astonishing
adventure.
Upon the 5th of March 1722, being at Harehead, baptizing the
shepherd’s child, I came off about sunsetting, and near William
White’s march, the Laird of Cool came up with me as formerly; and
after his first salutation bade me not be afraid. I told him I was not in
the least afraid, in the name of God and Christ my Saviour, that he
would do me the least harm; for I knew that He in whom I trusted
was stronger than all they put together; and if any of them should
attempt to do, even to the horse that I ride upon, as you have done to
Doctor Menzies’ man, I have free access to complain to my Lord and
Master, to the lash to whose resentment you are as liable now as
before.
Cool. You need not multiply words on that head, for you are safe
with me; and safer, if safer can be, than when I was alive.
Ogil. Well then, Cool, let me have a peaceable and easy
conversation with you for the time we ride together, and give me
some information concerning the affairs of the other world, for no
man inclines to lose his time in conversing with the dead, without
hearing or learning something useful.
Cool. Well, sir, I will satisfy you as far as I think proper and
convenient. Let me know what information you want.
Ogil. May I then ask you, if you be in a state of happiness or not?
Cool. There are a great many things I can answer that the living are
ignorant of; there are a great many things that, notwithstanding the
additional knowledge I have acquired since my death, I cannot
answer; and there are a great many questions you may start, of which
the last is one that I will not answer.
Ogil. Then I know how to manage our conversation; whatever I
inquire of you, I see you can easily shift me; to that I might profit
more by conversing with myself.
Cool. You may try.
Ogil. Well, then, what sort of a body is that you appear in; and
what sort of a horse is that you ride upon, which appears to be so full
of mettle?
Cool. You may depend upon it, it is not the same body that I was
witness to your marriage in, nor in which I died, for that is in the
grave rotting; but it is such a body as serves me in a moment, for I
can fly as fleet with it as my soul can do without it; so that I can go to
Dumfries, and return again, before you can ride twice the length of
your horse; nay, if I have a mind to go to London, or Jerusalem, or to
the moon, if you please, I can perform all these journeys equally
soon, for it costs me nothing but a thought or wish: for this body is as
fleet as your thought, for in the moment of time you can turn your
thoughts on Rome, I can go there in person; and as for my horse, he
is much like myself, for he is Andrew Johnston, my tenant, who died
forty-eight hours before me.
Ogil. So it seems when Andrew Johnston inclines to ride, you must
serve him in the quality of a horse, as he does you now.
Cool. You are mistaken.
Ogil. I thought that all distinctions between mistresses and maids,
lairds and tenants, had been done away at death.
Cool. True it is, but you do not take up the matter.
Ogil. This is one of the questions you won’t answer.
Cool. You are mistaken, for the question I can answer, and after
you may understand it.
Ogil. Well then, Cool, have you never yet appeared before God, nor
received any sentence from Him as a Judge?
Cool. Never yet.
Ogil. I know you was a scholar, Cool, and ’tis generally believed
there is a private judgment, besides the general at the great day, the
former immediately after death. Upon this he interrupted me,
arguing.
Cool. No such thing, no such thing! No trial; no trial till the great
day! The heaven which good men enjoy after death consists only in
the serenity of their minds, and the satisfaction of a good conscience;
and the certain hopes they have of eternal joy, when that day shall
come. The punishment or hell of the wicked, immediately after
death, consists in the stings of an awakened conscience, and the
terrors of facing the great Judge, and the sensible apprehensions of
eternal torments ensuing! And this bears still a due proportion to the
evils they did when living. So indeed the state of some good folks
differ but little in happiness from what they enjoyed in the world,
save only that they are free from the body, and the sins and sorrows
that attended it. On the other hand, there are some who may be said
rather not to have been good, than that they are wicked; while living,
their state is not easily distinguished from that of the former; and
under that class comes a great herd of souls—a vast number of
ignorant people, who have not much minded the affairs of eternity,
but at the same time have lived in much indolence, ignorance, and
innocence.
 Ogil. I thought that their rejecting the terms of salvation offered
was sufficient ground for God to punish them with eternal
displeasure; and as to their ignorance, that could never excuse them,
since they live in a place of the world where the true knowledge of
these things might have been easily attained.
Cool. They never properly rejected the terms of salvation; they
never, strictly speaking, rejected Christ; poor souls, they had as great
a liking both to Him and heaven, as their gross imaginations were
capable of. Impartial reason must make many allowances, as the
stupidity of their parents, want of education, distance from people of
good sense and knowledge, and the uninterrupted applications they
were obliged to give to their secular affairs for their daily bread, the
impious treachery of their pastors, who persuaded them, that if they
were of such a party all was well; and many other considerations
which God, who is pure and perfect reason itself, will not overlook.
These are not so much under the load of Divine displeasure, as they
are out of His grace and favour; and you know it is one thing to be
discouraged, and quite another thing to be persecuted with all the
power and rage of an incensed earthly king. I assure you, men’s faces
are not more various and different in the world, than their
circumstances are after death.
Ogil. I am loath to believe all that you have said at this time, Cool
(but I will not dispute those matters with you), because some things
you have advanced seem to contradict the Scriptures, which I shall
always look upon as the infallible truth of God. For I find, in the
parable of Dives and Lazarus, that the one was immediately after
death carried up by the angels into Abraham’s bosom, and the other
immediately thrust down to hell.
Cool. Excuse me, sir, that does not contradict one word that I have
said; but you seem not to understand the parable, whose only end is
to illustrate the truth, that a man may be very happy and flourishing
in this world, and wretched and miserable in the next; and that a
man maybe miserable in this world, and happy and glorious in the
next.
Ogil. Be it so, Cool, I shall yield that point to you, and pass to
another, which has afforded me much speculation since our last
encounter; and that is, How you came to know that I talked after the
manner that I did concerning Mr Paton, on the first Sabbath of
February last? Was you present with me, but invisible? He answered
very haughtily, No, sir, I was not present myself. I answered, I would
not have you angry, Cool. I proposed this question for my own
satisfaction; but if you don’t think proper to answer, let it pass. After
he had paused, with his eyes on the ground, for three or four minutes
of time at most, with some haste and seeming cheerfulness, he says—
Cool. Well, sir, I will satisfy you in that point. You must know that
there are sent from heaven angels to guard and comfort, and to do
other good services to good people, and even the spirits of good men
departed are employed in that errand.
Ogil. And do you not think that every man has a good angel?
Cool. No, but a great many particular men have: there are but few
houses of distinction especially, but what have at least one attending
them; and from what you have already heard of spirits, it is no
difficult matter to understand how they may be serviceable to each
particular member, though at different places at a great distance.
Many are the good offices which the good angels do to them that fear
God, though many times they are not sensible of it: and I know
assuredly, that one powerful angel, or even an active clever soul
departed, may be sufficient for some villages; but for your great
cities, such as London, Edinburgh, or the like, there is one great
angel that has the superintendence of the whole; and there are
inferior angels, or souls departed, to whose particular care such a
man, of such a particular weight or business, is committed. Now, sir,
the kingdom of Satan does ape the kingdom of Christ as much in
matters of politics as can be, well knowing that the court of wisdom
is from above; so that from thence are sent out missionaries in the
same order. But because the kingdom of Satan is much better
replenished than the other, instead of one devil there are in many
instances two or three commissioned to attend a particular family of
influence and distinction.
Ogil. I read that there are ten thousand times ten thousand of
angels that wait upon God, and sing His praise and do His will; and I
cannot understand how the good angels can be inferior in number to
the evil.
Cool. Did not I say, that whatever the number be, the spirits
departed are employed in the same business; so that as to the
number of original deities, whereof Satan is chief, I cannot
determine, but you need not doubt but there are more souls departed
in that place, which in a loose sense you call hell, by almost an
infinity, than what are gone to that place, which, in a like sense, you
call heaven, which likewise are employed in the same purpose; and I
can assure you that there is as great a difference between angels,
both good and bad, as there is among men, with respect to their
sense, knowledge, cunning, cleverness, and action; nay, which is
more, the departed souls on both sides outdo severals, from their
very first departure, of the original angels. This you will perhaps
think a paradox, but is true.
Ogil. I do not doubt it; but what is that to my question, about
which I am solicitous?
Cool. Take a little patience, sir; from what I have said you might
have understood me, if you had your thoughts about you; but I shall
explain myself to you. Both the good and the bad angels have stated
times of rendezvous, and the principal angels, who have the charge
either of towns, cities, or kingdoms, not to mention particular
persons, villages, and families, and all that is transacted in these
several parts of the country, are there made open; and at their re-
encounter on each side, every thing is told, as in your parish, in
milns, kilns, and smithies, with this difference, that many things
false are talked at the living re-encounters, but nothing but what is
exact truth is said or told among the dead; only I must observe to
you, that, as I am credibly informed, several of the inferior bad
angels, and souls of wicked men departed, have told many things
that they have done, and then when a more intelligent spirit is sent
out upon inquiry, and the report of the former seeming doubtful, he
brings in a contrary report, and makes it appear truth, the former
fares very ill: nevertheless their regard to truth prevents it; for while
they observe the truth, they do their business and keep their station,
for God is truth.
Ogil. So much truth being among the good angels, I am apt to
think that lies and falsehood will be as much in vogue among the
bad.
Cool. A gross mistake, and it is not alone the mistake which the
living folks fall under with respect to the other world; for the case
plainly is this: an ill man will not stick at a falsehood to promote his
design; as little will an evil soul departed stop at anything that can
make himself successful; but in admitting report he must tell the
truth, or woe be to him. But besides their monthly, quarterly, or
yearly meetings, or whatever they be, departed souls acquainted may
take a trip to see one another yearly, weekly, daily, or oftener, if they
please. Thus, then, I answer your question that you was so much
concerned about; for my information was from no less than three
persons, viz., Aikman, who attends Thurston’s family; James Corbet,
who waits upon Mr Paton; for at that time he was then looking after
Mrs Sarah Paton, who was at your house, and an original emissary
appointed to wait upon yours.
At this I was much surprised, and after a little thinking, I asked
him, And is their really, Cool, an emissary from hell, in whatever
sense you take it, that attends my family?
Cool. You may depend upon it.
Ogil. And what do you think is his business?
Cool. To divert you from your duty, and cause you to do as many ill
things as he can; for much depends on having the minister on their
side.
Upon this I was struck with a sort of terror, which I cannot account
for. In the meantime he said several things I did not understand. But
after coming to my former presence of mind, said—
Ogil. But, Cool, tell me, in earnest, if there be a devil that attends
my family, though invisible.
Cool. Just as sure as you are breathing; but be not so much
dejected upon this information, for I tell you likewise that there is a
good angel who attends you, who is stronger than the other.
Ogil. Are you sure of that, Cool?
Cool. Yes; there is one riding on your right hand, who might as
well have been elsewhere, for I meant you no harm.
Ogil. And how long has he been with me?
Cool. Only since we passed Brand’s Lee, but now he is gone.
Ogil. We are just upon Elenscleugh, and I desire to part with you,
though perhaps I have gained more by conversation than I could
have otherwise done in a twelvemonth. I choose rather to see you
another time, when you’re at leisure, and I wish it were at as great a
distance from Innerwick as you can.
 Cool. Be it so, sir; but I hope you will be as obliging to me next re-
encounter, as I have been to you this.
Ogil. I promise you I will, as far as is consistent with my duty to
my Lord and Master Christ Jesus; and since you have obliged me so
much by information, I will answer all the questions you propose, as
far as consists with my knowledge; but I believe you want no
information from me.
Cool. I came not here to be instructed by you, but I want your help
of another kind.
Upon the 5th of April 1722, as I was returning from Old
Hamstocks, Cool came up with me on horseback at the foot of the
ruinous enclosure, before we came to Dod. I told him his last
conversation had proved so acceptable to me, that I was well pleased
to see him again; that there was a number of things that I wanted to
inform myself further of, if he would be so good as satisfy me.
Cool. Last time we met, I refused you nothing you asked; and now
I expect that you shall refuse me nothing that I shall ask.
Ogil. Nothing, sir, that is in my power, or that I can do with safety
to my reputation and character. What, then, are your demands?
Cool. All that I desire of you is, that as you promised that on a
Sabbath-day you would go to my wife, who now possesses all my
effects, and tell her the following particulars—tell her in my name to
rectify these matters:—First, That I was owing justly to Provost
Crosby £50 Scots, and three years’ interest, but on hearing of his
death, my good-brother the Laird of C—l and I forged a discharge,
narrated the bond, the sum, and other particulars, with this
honourable clause, “And at the time it had fallen by, and could not be
found;” with an obligation on the provost’s part to deliver up this
bond as soon as he could hit upon it. And this discharge was dated
three months before the provost’s death. And when his son and
successor, Andrew Crosby, wrote to me concerning this bond, I came
to him and showed him the forged discharge, which silenced him; so
that I got up my bond without more ado. And when I heard of Robert
Kennedy’s death, with the same help of C—l, I got a bill upon him for
£190, of which I got full and complete payment. C—l got the half.
When I was at Dumfries, the same day that Robert Grier died, to
whom I was owing an account of £36, C—l, my good-brother, was
then at London; and not being able of myself, being but a bad writer,
to make out a discharge of the account, which I wanted, I met
accidently with one Robert Boyd, a poor writer lad in Dumfries; I
took him to Mrs Carnock’s, and gave him a bottle of wine, and told
him I had paid Thomas Grier’s account, but had neglected to get a
discharge, and if he would help me to one I would reward him. He
flew away from me in a great passion, saying, he would rather be
hanged; but if I had a mind for these things, I had better wait till C—l
came home. This gave me great trouble, fearing what C—l and I had
done formerly was no secret. I followed Boyd to the street, and made
an apology, saying, I was jesting, commending him for his honesty,
and got his promise never to repeat what had passed. I sent for my
Cousin B—m H—rie, your good-brother, who, with no difficulty, for a
guinea and a half, undertook and performed all that I wanted; and
for a guinea more made me up a discharge for £200 Scots that I was
owing to your father-in-law and his friend Mr Muirhead, which
discharge I gave to John Ewart, when he desired the money; and he,
at my desire, produced it to you, which you sustained.
A great many of the like instances were told, of which I cannot
remember the persons, names, and things; but, says he, what vexes
me more than all these, is the injustice I did Homer Maxwell, tenant
to my Lord Nithsdale, for whom I was factor. I borrowed £2000
from him, £500 of which he borrowed from another hand: I gave
him my bond, and, for reasons I contrived, I obliged him to secrecy.
He died within the year, and left nine children, his wife being dead
before himself. I came to seal up his papers for my lord’s security; his
eldest daughter entreated me to look through them all, and to give
her an account of what was their stock and what was their debt. I
very willingly undertook it; and in going through the papers, I put
my own bond in my pocket. His circumstances proving bad, his nine
children are now starving. These things I desire you to represent to
my wife, and take her brother with you, and let them be immediately
rectified, for she has a sufficient fund to do it upon; and if it were
done, I think I would be easy, and therefore I hope you will make no
delay.
After a short pause, I answered, ’Tis a good errand, Cool, you are
sending me to do justice to the oppressed and injured; but
notwithstanding I see myself come in for £200 Scots, yet I beg a little
time to consider the matter. And since I find you are as much master
of reason now as ever, and more than ever, I will reason upon the
matter in its general view, and then with respect to the expediency of
my being the messenger; and this I will do with all manner of
frankness. From what you have said, I see clearly what your present
condition is, so that I need not ask any more questions on that head;
and you need not bid me take courage, for at this moment I am no
more afraid of you than a new-born child.
Cool. Well, say on.
Ogil. Tell me, then, since such is your ability that you can fly a
thousand miles in the twinkling of an eye, if your desire to do the
oppressed justice be as great as you pretend, what’s the reason you
don’t fly to the coffers of some rich Jew or banker, where are
thousands of gold and silver, invisibly lift, and invisibly return it to
the coffers of the injured? And since your wife has sufficient funds,
and more, why cannot you empty her purse invisibly, to make these
people amends?
Cool. Because I cannot.
Ogil. You have satisfied me entirely upon that head. But pray,
Cool, what is the reason that you cannot go to your wife yourself, and
tell her what you have a mind? I should think this a more sure way to
gain your point.
Cool. Because I will not.
Ogil. That is not an answer to me, Cool.
Cool. That is one of the questions that I told you long ago I would
not answer: but if you go as I desire, I promise to give you full
satisfaction after you have done your business. Trust me for once,
and believe me I will not disappoint you.
Upon the 10th of April 1722, coming from Old Cambus, upon the
post-road, I met with Cool on the head of the heath called the Pees.
He asked me, if I had considered the matter he had recommended? I
told him I had, and was in the same opinion I was in when we
parted; that I would not possibly undertake his commissions, unless
he could give me them in writing under his hand. I told him that the
list of his grievances were so great that I could not possibly
remember them without being put in writing; and that I wanted
nothing but reason to determine me in that, and all other affairs of
my life.
“I know,” says he, “this is a mere evasion: but tell me if the Laird of
Thurston will do it?”
“I am sure,” said I, “he will not; and if he should, I would do all
that I could to hinder him; for I think he has as little to do in these
matters as myself. But tell me, Cool, is it not as easy to write your
story as tell it, or ride on what-do-ye-call-him? for I have forgot your
horse’s name.”
Cool. No, sir, it is not; and perhaps I may convince you of the
reasonableness of it afterwards.
Ogil. I would be glad to hear a reason that is solid for not speaking
to your wife yourself; but, however, any rational creature may see
what a fool I would make of myself, if I would go to Dumfries, and
tell your wife you had appeared to me, and told so many forgeries
and villanies that you had committed, and that she behoved to make
reparation; the consequence might perhaps be, that she would scold
me; for she would be loath to part with any money she possesses, and
therefore tell me I was mad, or possibly pursue me for calumny. How
would I vindicate myself; how could I prove that you ever spoke with
me? Mr Paton and other ministers in Dumfries would tell me the
devil had spoken with me; and why should I repeat these things for
truth which he, that was a liar from the beginning, had told me? C—p
—l and B—r— H—rie would be upon me, and pursue me before the
commissary; everybody would look upon me as brain-sick or mad:
therefore, I entreat you, do not insist upon sending me so ridiculous
an errand. The reasonableness of my demands I leave to your own
consideration, as you did your former to mine. But dropping the
matter till our next interview, give me leave to enter upon some more
diverting subject. I do not know, Cool, but the information you have
given may do as much service to mankind, as the redress of all these
grievances I would amount to. Mr Ogilvie died very soon after.—Old
Chap Book.
 ALLAN-A-SOP.

By Sir Walter Scott.

The MacLeans, a bold and hardy race, who, originally followers of

the Lords of the Isles, had assumed independence, seized upon great
part both of the Isle of Mull and the still more valuable island of
Islay, and made war on the MacDonalds with various success. There
is a story belonging to this clan, which I may tell you, as giving
another striking picture of the manners of the Hebrideans.
The chief of the clan, MacLean of Duart, in the Isle of Mull, had an
intrigue with a beautiful young woman of his own clan, who bore a
son to him. In consequence of the child’s being, by some accident,
born on a heap of straw, he received the name of Allan-a-Sop, or
Allan of the Straw, by which he was distinguished from others of his
clan. As his father and mother were not married, Allan was, of
course, a bastard, or natural son, and had no inheritance to look for,
save that which he might win for himself.
But the beauty of the boy’s mother having captivated a man of rank
in the clan, called MacLean of Torloisk, he married her, and took her
to reside with him at his castle of Torloisk, situated on the shores of
the sound, or small strait of the sea, which divides the smaller island
of Ulva from that of Mull. Allan-a-Sop paid his mother frequent visits
at her new residence, and she was naturally glad to see the poor boy,
both from affection, and on account of his personal strength and
beauty, which distinguished him above other youths of his age. But
she was obliged to confer marks of her attachment on him as
privately as she could, for Allan’s visits were by no means so
acceptable to her husband as to herself. Indeed, Torloisk liked so
little to see the lad, that he determined to put some affront on him,
which should prevent his returning to the castle for some time. An
opportunity for executing his purpose soon occurred.
The lady one morning, looking from the window, saw her son
coming wandering down the hill, and hastened to put a girdle cake
upon the fire, that he might have hot bread for breakfast. Something
called her out of the apartment after making this preparation, and
her husband, entering at the same time, saw at once what she had
been about, and determined to give the boy such a reception as
should disgust him for the future. He snatched the cake from the
girdle, thrust it into his stepson’s hands, which he forcibly closed on
the scalding bread, saying, “Here, Allan, here is a cake which your
mother has got ready for your breakfast.” Allan’s hands were severely
burnt; and, being a sharp-witted and proud boy, he resented this
mark of his step-father’s ill-will, and came not again to Torloisk.
At this time the western seas were covered with the vessels of
pirates, who, not unlike the sea-kings of Denmark at an early period,
sometimes settled and made conquests on the islands. Allan-a-Sop
was young, strong, and brave to desperation. He entered as a
mariner on board of one of these ships, and in process of time
obtained the command, first of one galley, then of a small flotilla,
with which he sailed round the seas and collected considerable
plunder, until his name became both feared and famous. At length he
proposed to himself to pay a visit to his mother, whom he had not
seen for many years; and setting sail for this purpose, he anchored
one morning in the sound of Ulva, and in front of the house of
Torloisk. His mother was dead, but his step-father, to whom he was
now as much an object of fear as he had been formerly of aversion,
hastened to the shore to receive his formidable stepson, with great
affectation of kindness and interest in his prosperity; while Allan-a-
Sop, who, though very rough and hasty, does not appear to have been
sullen or vindictive, seemed to take his kind reception in good part.
The crafty old man succeeded so well, as he thought, in securing
Allan’s friendship, and obliterating all recollections of the former
affront put on him, that he began to think it possible to employ his
stepson in executing his own private revenge upon MacQuarrie of
Ulva, with whom, as was usual between such neighbours, he had
some feud. With this purpose, he offered what he called the following
good advice to his stepson:—“My dear Allan, you have now wandered
over the seas long enough: it is time you should have some footing
upon land—a castle to protect yourself in winter, a village and cattle
for your men, and a harbour to lay up your galleys. Now, here is the
island of Ulva, near at hand, which lies ready for your occupation,
and it will cost you no trouble, save that of putting to death the
present proprietor, the Laird of MacQuarrie, a useless old carle, who
has cumbered the world long enough.”
Allan-a-Sop thanked his step-father for so happy a suggestion,
which he declared he would put in execution forthwith. Accordingly,
setting sail the next morning, he appeared before MacQuarrie’s
house an hour before noon. The old chief of Ulva was much alarmed
at the menacing apparition of so many galleys, and his anxiety was
not lessened by the news that they were commanded by the
redoubted Allan-a-Sop. Having no effectual means of resistance,
MacQuarrie, who was a man of shrewd sense, saw no alternative save
that of receiving the invaders, whatever might be their purpose, with
all outward demonstrations of joy and satisfaction; the more
especially as he recollected having taken some occasional notice of
Allan during his early youth, which he now resolved to make the
most of. Accordingly, MacQuarrie caused immediate preparations to
be made for a banquet, as splendid as circumstances admitted,
hastened down to the shore to meet the rover, and welcomed him to
Ulva with such an appearance of sincerity, that the pirate found it
impossible to pick any quarrel, which might afford a pretence for
executing the violent purpose which he had been led to meditate.
They feasted together the whole day; and, in the evening, as Allan-
a-Sop was about to retire to his ships, he thanked the laird for his
hospitality, but remarked, with a sigh, that it had cost him very dear.
“How can that be,” said MacQuarrie, “when I bestowed this
entertainment upon you in free goodwill?”
“It is true, my friend,” replied the pirate, “but then it has quite
disconcerted the purpose for which I came hither; which was to put
you to death, my good friend, and seize upon your house and island,
and so settle myself in the world. It would have been very convenient
for me, this island of Ulva; but your friendly reception has rendered
it impossible for me to execute my purpose, so that I must be a
wanderer on the seas for some time longer.”
 Whatever MacQuarrie felt at learning he had been so near to
destruction, he took care to show no emotion save surprise, and
replied to his visitor: “My dear Allan, who was it that put into your
mind so unkind a purpose towards your old friend; for I am sure it
never arose from your own generous nature? It must have been old
Torloisk, who made such an indifferent husband to your mother, and
such an unfriendly step-father to you when you were a helpless boy;
but now, when he sees you a bold and powerful leader, he desires to
make a quarrel betwixt you and those who were the friends of your
youth. If you consider this matter rightly, Allan, you will see that the
estate and harbour of Torloisk lie to the full as conveniently for you
as those of Ulva, and that, if you are disposed (as is very natural) to
make a settlement by force, it is much better it should be at the
expense of the old churl, who never showed you kindness or
countenance, than at that of a friend like me, who always loved and
honoured you.”
Allan-a-Sop was struck with the justice of this reasoning; and the
old offence of his scalded fingers was suddenly recalled to his mind.
“It is very true what you say, MacQuarrie,” he replied, “and, besides,
I have not forgotten what a hot breakfast my step-father treated me
to one morning. Farewell for the present; you shall soon hear news of
me from the other side of the Sound.” Having said thus much, the
pirate got on board, and commanding his men to unmoor the galleys,
sailed back to Torloisk, and prepared to land in arms. MacLean
hastened to meet him, in expectation to hear of the death of his
enemy, MacQuarrie. But Allan greeted him in a very different
manner from what he expected.
“You hoary old traitor,” he said, “you instigated my simple good-
nature to murder a better man than yourself! But have you forgotten
how you scorched my fingers twenty years ago with a burning cake?
The day is come that that breakfast must be paid for.”
So saying, he dashed out the old man’s brains with a battle-axe,
took possession of his castle and property, and established there a
distinguished branch of the clan of MacLean.—From Tales of a
Grandfather.