Sex, Sexual Strategies, & Power

thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/sex-sexual-strategies-power

This lesson reviews how sexual intercourse influences the dynamics of power and
attachment in a budding relationship.

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/eZ8pjIJ4WSU

A Quick Recap
As we’ve seen, while women tend to screen and discriminate for their sexual partners,
men seek sex from multiple partners.

Men also have more testosterone and plenty of evidence suggests that men think, obsess
and “need” sex more than women do.
That means that, for most men, there is a gap between how much sex they want and how
much they can get.

In simpler terms: most men want more sex than they can get.

Women instead want less sex than they could actually get.
That means that women are gatekeepers of sex, and that gives them the power to use
sex as an exchange chip for… Whatever they want.
In the sexual and relationship marketplace, what women can demand from men includes
investment, support, wining and dining and, possibly, even commitment before sex even
takes place.

1/18
Of course, outside of relationships, women can also get all kinds of other stuff with sex or
the promise of sex.
The rule of thumb indeed is that women trade sex -or the hint of sex- to get anything else,
while men trade anything else for sex.

It might sound crude to put it that way, but it’s an important rule of social and sexual
dynamics.

The Limitations of Women’s Sexual Power

However, there are two crucial aspects that limit female sexual power:

1. Female sexual power decreases after sex, sometimes precipitously

2. Female leverage of sex is severely reduced with men who can easily get
sex (and that’s why “make him wait for sex” games work less well with men who
have of options)

An Evolutionary Overview
Geoffrey Miller says that the duration and intensity of copulatory courtship in a species is
a clue to the power of female choice.

If efficient sperm delivery were the only goal of copulation, a single thrust would be
sufficient.
But copulatory thrusting in humans seems designed to maximize the intensity, duration,
and rhythmicity of tactile stimulation delivered to the female genitals.

2/18
Delivering stimulation in addition to delivering sperm suggests that female choice has
been important when it comes to copulation.
Concealed ovulation and continuous sexual receptivity allowed our female ancestors the
opportunity to “test” men as sexual partners with a lower risk of unwanted pregnancy.

The way the different sexual organs function is also very telling about who is the pickiest
sex.

1. Vaginas Discriminate…
The clitoris might also be seen as a tool of female sexual choice.

It helps to select for males who provide pleasurable foreplay, copulation, and orgasms,
and such discriminative power is just what we should expect from an organ of female
choice.
Orgasms often require a certain amount of physical dexterity, but also attentiveness and
“caring” from the part of the male, which helped select men who were willing to invest
time and energy into her.

Mechanisms for choice must be discriminating, and that’s why the female orgasm is
sometimes elusive: it is supposed to be.
It should not come easy for men who are inept, brief, lazy, inattentive, and selfish.

2. … Penises not nearly as much

The penis instead is not discriminating and always comes easily.

The way masturbation works is also very telling.

It took much human ingenuity to achieve maximum female pleasure with (relatively)
complex mechanical stimulation via vibrators.

Men’s masturbation has largely remained very simple.

3. Female Pleasure Is More Important In Sexual Dynamics

If we also consider that women are the choosers more times than not, than we start seeing
why her pleasure has been evolutionary more important than male pleasure.

And this leads us to a conundrum:

Sex per se empowers women.

But the quality of sex empowers men more than women.

Don’t get me wrong, men also enjoy great sex, of course.

But since the difference between average sex and great sex is much wider for women,
great sex is more important to women (exceptions always apply).

3/18
If we also include that women need less variety and often enjoy sex more with their
partners than with strangers, we can conclude that, contrary to what many might think,
providing great sex affords more leverage and power to men than to women.

So, in short, since male orgasms are easy and always similar while female orgasms are
elusive and with a huge upper bound of pleasure, great sex is a tool of male power,
while sex, even average sex, is a tool of female power.

But as we’ve seen many times already, general rules are poor in sexual dynamics.
And the penis and the male orgasms can also be tools of choice for men with lots of
options and who enjoy great sex.
And if the owner of the penis is happy, he is more likely to stick around and stay for a
long-term relationship.

Power & Sex

The relationship between sex and power goes both ways.

Sex empowers.
But power also gives access to sex.

Most often, it’s powerful men who use their position to get sex, and much less frequently
women.

Why?

Because, as we have seen, women don’t want sex from just about anyone. And they
usually don’t like men with less status and power than they have.
So women in power don’t often want to exchange sex from their reports and employees in
exchange for favors and promotions.

Men are also not so attracted to women they don’t find attractive just because they are
powerful. As a matter of fact, that’s sometimes a turn-off.
And that also limits the ability of those few women who’d like to trade power for sex to
actually trade power for sex.

But many men do want to trade power for sex.

As a matter of fact, it’s probably for the easier access to mates and quality of mates that
men want power in the first place -or at least that’s how men evolved a thirst for power
and status-.

And that’s why we are not going to get rid of men like Harvey Weinstein anytime soon.

Sex & Power

Let’s focus on providing satisfactory sex now.

Yes, providing great sex does afford leverage.

4/18
Whenever you can provide something that others want, that gives you power.

Do you remember when talking about the sexual market place we said that people with an
over-abundance of value in one category can allow themselves to give less in another
category?

That can also wor with great sex.

Men who hit it off very well with a woman and who provide her with great sex can have
women go over to their places without investing much else in the relationship.

Women can also have men come over for sex, of course, and they do it all the time.
Not just going over for sex, but also bringing gifts.
But that’s because men want more sex than they can get, and not necessarily because she
is particularly skilled in the art of sexual fulfillment.

1. Limitations of Sex As Bargaining Chip

That being said, there are limitations to the use of sex as a tool for marketplace
bargaining.

To begin with, sex often happens after people have already assessed each other plenty.
So, at least in temporal terms, dating sexual intercourse often takes a backfoot to other
traits such as status, intelligence, health, beauty, etc.

Once the couple gets to sex, then sex also enters in the computation of sexual market
value.
Great sex can provide a great boost to a budding couple.
The opposite is rarer though: cases in which the sex is so bad that the couple must undo
are relatively rare.
And for couples who are willing to work on it, there are plenty of workarounds as well.

1.1.2. Sex Loses Leverage Over The Long Term

Great sex as a power tool for him tends to be more of a tool of short-term power.

Why?

Because in fresh relationships sex takes the center stage. In more libertine dating, there
isn’t even much else aside from sex.

But as the relationship progresses, her needs and wants also change.
Women often start demanding more than just “meeting and having sex”.
So the power of sex gets diluted with the other currencies she demands, such as support,
loyalty, fathering, etc.

Take this one as an example:

5/18
This relationship above crashed and burned in spite of that initial off the charts
chemistry.
There was no great sex that could have saved it, if I hadn’t eventually committed.

Sex and attraction are also intertwined.

In the short run great sex can be extremely effective in boosting his power and status in
her eyes, heightening her feelings of love and admiration.
But a relationship that turns sour is also likely to negatively impact sexual pleasure.

In short: it’s unlikely a man can keep a woman who seeks a relationship just by providing
great sex.
In the long run, more is required.
Eventually, her needs for the more typical aspects of a relationship, such as support,
provisioning, faithfulness and “officiality”, start becoming more and more powerful -and
righteously so-.

This is especially true for high-quality women who more easily get men and investment.
They have more dating power, and they more assertively demand for what they believe
should get.

In sum: men who want to be relationship leaders over the long run will gain much by
getting good at sex, but they also need to provide more.

1.2. Toy Boys: Sought After & Getting Laid… But With Low Power
As we said, orgasms are tools of female choice.

6/18
If all a man has got to give are orgasms, then she is the chooser and he is a provider (of
sex).
Not a bad position to be in, in many ways.

But, depending on his overall personality, potentially not the most powerful one, either.

At the extreme, providing sex without getting much in return can also make him (or her)
the one down in the power dynamic.
Like a toy-boy.
And toy-boys are rather low in power. Male toyboys are just slightly better than the
equivalent female bimbos.

I’ll give you an example:

I once had a woman who left a girlfriend of hers waiting in the car to show up at my place.
A blonde Russian with a furry coat, she showed up at my door with just that coat… And
nothing underneath.

Hot.

And as soon as we were done, she left without saying a word, but grinning a big smile.
That smile was not just because of sex, but also because she was high on her feeling of
power.

And she wasn’t wrong: she came, literally and figuratively, got her fill, only figuratively as
I use a condom, and she left.
All on her will and time.

Now compare that with the sexual experience with another woman, K.
I went for anal sex with K but had to stop because it was being too painful for K., and we
kept doing normal vaginal sex (which I prefer anyway).
Once we were done, as we laid in sweat, her resting on top of me, I was enjoying the
silence. Brief silence, though. K. soon raised her head and asked “are you OK?”.
I nodded.
Little later she asked again “are you OK that we did not… “. She was obviously still
bothered about the “failed” attempt at anal sex.

What was going on there?

K. was worried that I was disappointed that she could not provide the anal experience.

In which situations does the man have more power?

Of course, the latter.

From a power dynamic perspective, having your partner worry about making you happy
with good sex is more powerful than you giving great sex.

1.3. The Virtue, Is In Both

7/18
Of course, this is not to say that you can’t have both.

Indeed learning to enjoy sex, learning to make sex a guilt-free experience, and improving
your sex skills are all very worthy pursuits.

The two examples above are at different extremes.

As a general rule, we can say that sex is another important piece of the sexual market
value.
As a standalone, good sex might otherwise not be enough to make one an overall high-
value mate, but lack of good sex can be a major drawback with mates who want and
expect good sex.

Sex, Abuse, & Male Control

Sex also intersects with abuse.

Some men, including dark triad men, seek to use sex as a way of keeping women
dependent and enslaved.

Sandra L. Brown, who surveyed women who have been in relationships with psychopaths
share stories of men who purposefully pushed the boundaries of sex, including kinky and
perverse sexual acts, as a way of increasing their control over women (Brown, 2008).

Brown says that when the psychopath leads her to try new things, the bond increases as
it’s the two of them who are trying new things together. Furthermore, she comes to see
him as more (sexually) dominant -and we now know that most women like more
dominant men-.

But there is one more, darker element.

Some of the most perverse sexual acts, especially with inexperienced and more
conservative women, increase trauma bonding and make it harder for women to leave
even as the relationship grows toxic.

Some of these women in abusive relationships say that they can’t leave because the sex is
too good.
But it’s often a misunderstanding on their part. In reality, it’s rarely sex by itself that
keeps women hooked to abusive men.
Female dependence is linked to the perverse dynamics of domination, enslavement, and
masochism.

Relationship researcher John Gottman says he was shocked hear woman after woman
(those are his explicit words) say that the best sex they ever had was right after a
beating from their violent partner (Gottman, 2011).
When you hear that, it’s the sign that it’s not sex, but something different. And perversely
addictive.

1. Addicted to The Abuser

8/18
For example, the Italian actress Claudia Cardinale says in her biography she was raped as
a young woman.

And she confides she could not stop going back to her rapist.

She felt terrible about it, about herself, and she hated him. But she kept going.
That’s trauma bonding.

2. Low Self-Esteem Women Are More Likely to Be Victimized

Abuse right from the beginning would make the vast majority of women run away.

But in some toxic relationships, the abuse starts later on.

By that time, there can be enough bond and ties that make it harder to leave (emotional
attachments, financial dependence, marriage, children, co-living, etc.).
And the abuse sometimes start little by little. And it’s sometimes followed by periods of
great care and love that can lull the woman into the belief that “things will be OK” and
that “after all, he loves me”.

Many women -and men- can become ensnared in abusive relationships.

But some types of individuals are more likely to stay, or get addicted.

Low self-esteem is one of the major risk factors for getting hooked into
abusive relationships, together with lack of options, lack of personal power,
and “neediness”.
That’s why abuse might be more likely to happen with lower SMV women.

And that’s why, albeit there are rare exceptions, abusive men get, on average, rather low-
quality partners.
After all, what kind of emotionally healthy, high-quality individual would share her life
with a batterer?

3. Bad Seduction Advice Promotes Mild Trauma Bonding

Some subset of male seduction advice seems designed to increase trauma bonding.

I quote one of them:

Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face,
her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you
that’s your pussy, and on and on.
That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.

I’m not even saying you shouldn’t do it if you’re into it and she’s liking it.
But it is abusive if you do it trying to control her.

9/18
Abuse can create trauma bonding even outside of sex and relationship, see an example in
this forum entry.
In a way, the judge role we discussed at length is a soft form of trauma bonding.

Sex, Abuse, & Female Control

Women of course also try to control men with sex.

Sex and continuous access to her sexuality by itself is enough to function as a power
control tool for most average-quality men, and sex is an important part of relationship
power dynamics.

When women manage to trap higher quality and high-resource men, it’s often by
leveraging a specific kink of his, a kink that he is not sharing with this wife or other
mistresses (could be masochism, a lust for being dominated, putting up a fight for sex, etc.
Etc.).
Jordan Belfort, pictured in “The Wolf of Wall Street” was one such example:

https://youtu.be/QgegMjMxLvI?t=15s

However, it’s not easy for women to count on this technique to work reliably.

To begin with, it presupposes he has a hidden kink that he is not sharing. And she should
be able to provide it better than any other woman, or at least add an emotional layer that
no other woman can match.

On the other hand, men who want to break free of that dependence should find other
women who can provide the same.
The best way to do it is to overcome the shame they link to their kink so that other women
can provide it too (did you get? We go back to supply and demand: the “trick” is enlarging
his supply so that he is less dependent on one single “provider”).

Sometimes women control men by sheer leadership, social dominance, and frame control.
You see it rarely in “normal” women and only in a few hookers.
Hookers who get good at their job need to control men, and a few of them learn well.

Note on S&M: It’s Not a Surrogate for Personal Qualities & Leadership
The type of positive sexual dominance we are discussing here comes from leadership
qualities and traits and not from the contract that S&M is (ie: you dominate me because I
enjoy it).

Even when we talked about pathological dominance and how psychopaths use purposeful
atypical sexual practices to control women, it wasn’t about S&M.
S&M is more like a contract where both parties agree to play a certain role. S&M is two
adults consenting to the game as equals.
The power dynamics of sexual dominance instead requires that one party leads and the
other follows.

10/18
Unless the couple is into S&M, men who seek a leadership role in their relationship
shouldn’t search it within the surrogate of S&M.

It’s also possible that when otherwise non-dominant men engage in S&M, women
consider it a crutch for a lack of personal dominance and as an outlet for personal
frustrations.
And they lose some respect.
As a pharmacist Tinder date who engaged in S&M sex with the clinic’s doctor once told
me, he was “overcompensating”.

Speed to Sex & Courtship Dynamics

Speed to sex is one of the most discussed dating topics.

Much of women dating advice is built around “making him wait”.

Authors of women’s dating advice tell her to make him wait for sex because, if he waits
longer, he will perceive her as more caste and trustworthy (Madonna).

And in the meanwhile, he will invest more and come to value her more.

On the other hand, some dating advice for men says that the quicker sex happens, the
better it is for him and the more power he has.

In general, they’re both right.

Late sex helps her appear more Madonna-like and moves him into a provider role,
increasing his investment and increasing the chances of his commitment.

And for him, early sex makes him appear more lover-like.

He gets more control and power while she is the one who has to work harder for more
investment and commitment.

As much as this rule of thumb applies to many situations, it’s also a generalization.

The next chapters will clarify the effects that sex and speed to sex have on a relationship
and on the dynamics of power.

1. When Quick Sex is Risky for Him

If he wants a relationship, quick sex might present some challenges for him.

This is because speed to sex influences how she interprets sex.

Specifically, whether she perceives sex as meaningfully bonding or just as a physical act.

For example, imagine sex as happening after the following scenarios:

11/18
1. the two ground on a dance floor without speaking;
2. they had 2 cocktails with lots of flirting and sex talk;
3. they did it on a long-haul flight where he challenged her to become “high flyers club
members”

In those cases, she is more likely to ascribe the sex to “a crazy adventure”, “just sex” or “I
was horny”.
She might not even think of pursuing a relationship after sex and might not even want a
relationship with him.

She might consider him a toy-boy or a crazy adventure and not the guy she wants to get
serious with. It’s also possible that she might feel like a slut after sex and actively avoid
him for reminding her of it (next chapter).

I suspect it’s a minority of cases, but some women from more conservative families,
cultures, and background might also prefer to get into relationships where the man sees
her as a Madonna, while avoiding relationships with men with whom her Madonna cover
has been blown.
In good part, that’s cognitive dissonance at work.

She wants to see herself like a Madonna, so she seeks people who help her keep that
image of herself.
And that’s why she might move on searching for another for something serious.

In these cases, sex does not give him more power over her.

Slower sex instead is more likely to happen after the two have developed a deeper
connection.
In that case, she (more) consciously decided to go ahead with sex because she liked him
and would like to stick together after sex.

2. When Quick Sex Makes Her Detest Him: Buyer’s Remorse

This is rarer, but it happens.

In some cases, not only she doesn’t want him as a boyfriend after quick sex, but she might
actually detest him and want to erase him from her mind.

This is more likely to happen with religious women, inexperienced women, more
Pollyanna-romantic women, and more traditional women.

I remember a woman uttering these words rather after we had sex:

Her: I feel like a bitch

We had very little time after, and I was partially successful in being warm and kind
enough to erase that feeling from her mind.

12/18
One of my first one-night stands after a drunken, debauched night out also didn’t want to
hear from me again. The only memory I had left of her were two blood-stained hand-
shapes against the wall from a doggie style during her period that got really messy.
Then a walk of shame back to the center with little words and a hangover.
I can understand why she wanted to ascribe that to a “crazy night” and forget about it.

When a woman feels bad for quick sex indeed, she will come to link you with her own
feelings of guilt and, in the worst cases, disgust.

And she will want to remove you from her life.

Here is one example where I had easily predicted she was going to ghost:

She was reading but never replied. And when I looked for this convo to post it here I realized she
blocked me. No surprise.

I remember after sex she covered her face and said “I am so ashamed”.
We spent little time after and I couldn’t manage to change her mind. Such a pity, Stories
like these sadden me and feel like a stain on my love history.

Back to us, anyway.

You must be extremely careful with these situations.

They can happen when you push a bit too much, and that’s why I highlighted so much
that pushing for sex is a grey area that should be attempted only by those who have

13/18
reached a good level of emotional intelligence.

In the most extreme situations, women linking feelings of guilt to you might also lead to
false rape accusations.
Either as revenge for making her feel used, or because she actually comes to believe it was
forced sex (cognitive dissonance has been shown to change people’s beliefs and it’s not so
uncommon for humans to make up false memories).

Fixing “Buyer’s Remorse”

If men are interested in a relationship after sex has happened quickly and/or with little
connection, I recommend they spend quality time together after sex.

And then have sex again after you connected better.

I was able to turn around a girl who “wanted to go home” after quick sex by insisting we’d
cook together and eat and drink wine first.

And then she’d go home.

So I made pasta al pesto, joked around, we ate, we talked… And you should have seen her
big smile when I walked her back.
Those are the good stories I like :).

Had she gone home right away, she would have thought of our experience, and me, with
disgust.
What a difference the after sex can make!
Sometimes the difference between guilt and disgust and one of the best days of her life is
just in his emotional intelligence.

To sum it up:

If men and women want sex to be meaningful, it’s best to happen after you develop a
connection.

If you don’t have a connection before sex, you end up having sex and you want to throw
the basis for a possible relationship, you must do your best to build a connection after -
but this is not always possible or easy-.

If you don’t care about sex being meaningful, you don’t need to worry about this… Unless
you pushed very hard for that sex, or she is obviously feeling bad about it.
If that’s the case you still need to rebuild goodwill.

3. When Quick is Good for Him

Quick sex is good for him in a number of ways.

One is that it robs her of the “Madonna who needs investment in exchange for sex” game.

14/18
And as we previously said, that is mostly a win for both because it makes the relationship
more honest and equitable and it paves the way for a more mutually supportive
relationship.

The second reason why quick sex can be good for him is that it’s very possible that she
equates “speed to sex” to “sexiness” and “general success with women”.

And if she enters a relationship with a man whom she considers sexy and good at getting
quick sex, that gives him more power to start with.

When he can get to sex quickly, and especially if he can make her happy about it, he will
face fewer challenges and fewer demands in the beginning of the relationship.

Her demeanor will be more that of a submissive woman, and she will accept his
leadership more easily and in more aspects of life.

Of course, as we saw earlier, that’s not going to last forever.

If a woman is looking for commitment, resources, family and emotional support, her
demands will simply come with a delay.
If her demands go unmet for longer and longer, high-quality women who can get men and
investment will eventually face him off with an ultimatum: get serious or get lost. Some
men are unprepared for the day of reckoning, and it will hit them even harder.

4. Why Lovers Get More Resistance

Resistance to sex, sometimes referred to as “last minute resistance” (LMR) is often not
that high for providers and boyfriend candidates.

Why?

Because they have already gone through the wining and dining.

And possibly already made out and had some petting.

And by the time they get together the Madonna image has been built, she has done her
conscious decision, he (seems to have) proven himself and… And when she’s ready to give
the cookie the escalation happens with little or no resistance whatsoever.

Basically, it’s been a conscious decision and the time has come now to move to sex. There
is little need for last-minute resistances (LTRs).

And what about the inseminator?

Sex with the sexy man can happen either very quickly (especially if he made it clear he’s
all about sex) and sometimes very hotly. If he did his job well, then she is horny and sees
him as someone that will not judge and she can just enjoy sex.
But that’s the ideal scenario.
And it’s quite common for the lover to having to battle LMRs.

15/18
As we have previously seen, the resistance to sex with the sexy man who moves quickly is
often a screening tool to make sure that he is indeed well versed in seduction.

Should Women Withhold Sex?

Another practical paragraph now.

Do women lose sexual market value by giving sex too early?

By now you will not be surprised to hear that the correct answer cannot be a quick “yes” or
“no”.
But we will make an easy, concentrated summary for the pros and cons of each and for
when to use which strategy:

Yes: The Transactional Perspective

From a cold, transactional point of view, giving something that is valuable without getting
something back might not be the best move.

From a bargaining point of view getting something in exchange for sex is, on paper, a
good move.

However, seeing relationships as pure transactions might not be the right mindset for
great relationships (empirically, not just out of ethics!).

Yes: Keep a Madonna Image

Another advantage, and what most women instinctively go for, is to delay sex to look
more pious.

The idea is that if he believes that it takes time to bed her, she will make for a safer
partner to invest in (ie.: she won’t sleep around and make him raise a child that is not
his).

This makes a lot of sense as even most men who profess their open-mindedness do
unconsciously buy into the Madonna/whore dichotomy.

No: it works less with high-quality men

When she withholds sex to get investment, she is communicating that she is more
valuable than he is.

His investment is a way of making up for the difference in value.

Inherently, withholding sex to make him invest is a strategy that works best
with men who are lower value than she is.
These guys indeed instinctively feel like they need to give and put up with her demands in
order to make up for the difference.

16/18
On the other hand, higher-quality men and men who are at her level or above her level,
might (instinctively) see the game and not be up to playing it.

Playing this strategy well with higher quality men means hiding the strategy itself and not
making it look like she’s trying to gain the upper hand.

In sum: this strategy might not be good with high-quality men. Especially if she doesn’t
know how to play it well.

No: it communicates no sexual chemistry

When there is a strong chemistry, sex tends to happen quicker.

Waiting around then sends a message that there is no strong sexual chemistry and that
she is not so into him.

Some men might be OK with that, but men who have experienced sexual chemistry or
who look for strong sexual chemistry will be put off.

Indeed, as Ali Binazir says in The Tao of Dating, the ability to share a guilt-free sexual
experience is a strong asset in a woman.
I very much agree with it: often guilt-free and great early sex are a stronger glue than
making him wait and invest.

Depends: Numbers make all the difference

When there are more men than women, men become more romantic -in the wider sense
of the word-.

They come to expect longer wait for sex, and are much more happy and willing to invest
and commit before sex.
In environments with few women and lots of (high quality) men, making him wait works
well.

When there are more women than men though the culture leans more strongly towards
quick sex and women who make him wait are often passed up for those who don’t.
Men come to expect shorter “waiting times”, and eventually some of those “quicker sexes”
do become relationships.

Game theory postulates that in those scenarios, making him wait is less likely to work out
for the best because more assertive daters are more likely to get down to it and,
eventually, to get into relationships.

To understand this concept, imagine dating with fewer men like a big game of musical
chairs: in the beginning, you don’t notice much the difference.
But the more men pair up, the harder the dating market becomes.

17/18
The same logic applies when it comes to numbers of high-quality mates instead of just the
overall number of men because women want men who are “better” than them.
That means that if there are lots of men but only a few of them make for good mates this
still qualifies as an under-supplied market.

We could argue that current Western societies have more high-quality women than men.
As a rule of thumb, women in the “degree-holding” cohort are better off dating a
more actively and assertively.
That means fewer demands for investment and less waiting games.

Depends: it depends on the type of man

Whether she should make him wait for sex or not also depends a lot on the type of man.

If he is a more backward, less psychologically and socially aware man, then chances are
that he also believes that “good” women make men wait.

In those cases, she should definitely give him what he believes and make him wait.

If he is a man who enjoys gilt free sex, wants sexual chemistry and prefers his
relationships to be natural and game-free, then she might want to “go with the flow” and
do as she pleases.

Summary: Timing your sex right

If the man she’s dating has a strong Madonna/whore mindset she should wait.
If there are lots of great men and few great women, waiting gives her more power and
might increase the likelihood of his commitment.

On the other hand, if he is a cool guy and they hit it off, connect well and the mood leads
them to quick sex, she should probably go along with it (or she will look like she has an
agenda).

Similarly, if there are few great men and lots of great women, more assertive women often
end up with great men more reliably than women who try to increase their value with the
waiting game.
In those cases, more assertive dating in the form of mutual investment, more open
displays of appreciation and good sex are more likely to net her a great man.

Questions? Open A Topic & Ask Here!

18/18