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 LESSON PROPER

LESSON 6: PARENTHOOD

What is Parenthood?

 It is generally considered by the Filipino as a natural outcome after marriage.

 The child’s position in the family is significant, it is the child who gives the family its
form and structure.
 As soon as the child is born, the husband and wife acquire the traditional status and role
of parents.
 Parenthood today is not the same as what it was a generation ago. Modernization has
affected not only the husband and wife roles but also those of the father and mother.

Value of children

The Filipino family has always been child-centered. Parents plunge into debt for their
children’s education. They try to save money and buy properties to insure a better future for
them.

What motivates Filipinos to have children?

 One prominent value or benefit of children is the help they provide. Children are
expected to help their parents in household chores, financial help (when they start
earning) and to care and support their parents in their old age.

Desire of the parents for their children

 To attain high level of education
 Most parents are optimistic that, if their children receive good education, they will find
good jobs and help raise the socioeconomic standing of the family.
 Children are also valued for the socioemotional benefits they provide such as love and
happiness.
 In the recent Social Weather Stations Survey, 94.973% of the respondents
believe that watching children grow up is life’s greatest joy.
 Thus, to the Filipino. A big family is a happy one and a house is
considered lonely and empty without children.

 Children also have psychological value to parents in terms of furnishing incentives for
achievement and success. They serve as an inspiration for parents to lead a good moral
life. Parents are challenged to work harder and earn more to provide their children the
best in life.
 Many wives believe that one way to hold on to a man is to have children. When they
have children, husbands think twice before deserting the family or separating from their
wives. Children cement the union of their parents by helping strengthen the marital bond.
 Children are believed to bring good luck. The more children the couple has, the more
blessed the union because a child is seen as a gift from God and a sign of grace.

Role of Parents in Socialization

 Socialization is the process whereby the individual acquires and internalizes the norms
attitude, attitudes, and values of his society.
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 The agents of socialization are the family, school, the church, and all other groups to
which individual is exposed. Thus, the individual’s personality is affected by the kinds of
people he belongs to. His growth and development are influenced by his social
environment.
 Compared to the school, the church, and other groups, it is the family which carries the
greatest responsibility in socialization. Although the child’s world is not limited to the
home, the family is first, the closest, and the most influential social group in the child’s
life.
 Thus, parents are dedicated to child rearing not only because of genuine love and concern
for the child’s welfare but also because of community expectations and legal prescription.
Moreover, the family’s reputation is the stake with the child because the child’s behavior
is regarded as reflective of his upbringing. When the child goes wayward, it is said that
the parents did not guide him well. On the other hand, when the child does well, the
family’s honor is enhanced.
 Although both parents play an active role in socialization, the mother assumes the bulk of
childcare responsibility because it is she who spend more time at home and has more
intimate relationship with the child.
 However the mother today is no longer confined to the home and children. She has other
equally demanding role as wife, companion, and partner to her husband. She is also very
much involved in economic activities as breadwinner. Thus, her role as a mother has
expanded beyond the usual expressive task to include making instrumental decisions
which her own mother and grandmother probably never made.
 The Traditional belied is that employment of the mother leads both to the child’s neglect
and emotional deprivation, as well as to a communication breakdown between mother
and child. Although this belief basically underlies much of the objections to the mother’s
working, this has not been sufficiently substantiated and, thus, must be qualified.
 The child and youth welfare code specially provides that the parents are obligated to
support the child in the form of a “Balance diet, adequate clothing, sufficient shelter,
proper medical attention, and an education commensurate with the child’s abilities until
he completes his education and training for some profession, trade or vocation, even
beyond the age of majority.” (Child and Youth Welfare Code 1976:14)

Maternal and Child Care

 Even when the child is not yet born, the family and relatives help in the needs of the
mother-to-be. Traditionally, the pregnant woman should not be upset and her cravings
should be met in order to avoid miscarriage but she should avoid foods that are believed
to badly affect the features of the unborn children.

 The birth of a child is a very happy event, of all age groups, it is the infant who receives
the most attention and he/she is never left alone

 Most Filipino mothers breastfeed their babies because it is more healthful, more
convenient and more economical. Working mothers, however, resort to bottle feeding, as
an alternative when they are at work.
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 When the child is old enough to understand, he is taught to be obedient and respectful to
his parents, older siblings and other elders. There are traditional sign of respect like
asking for his blessing or “mano” and the use of “po” and “opo”. Children are also taught
to help in household chores.

Child-Rearing Patterns

 It is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social,

and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the
intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively to the biological relationship.
 The most common caretaker in parenting is the biological parent(s) of the child in
question, although others may be an older sibling, a grandparent, a legal guardian, aunt,
uncle or other family member, or a family friend.
 Governments and society may also have a role in child-rearing. In many
cases, orphaned or abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent blood
relations. Others may be adopted, raised in foster care, or placed in an orphanage.
Parenting skills vary, and a parent with good parenting skills may be referred to as a good
parent.
 Parenting styles vary by historical time period, race/ethnicity, social class, and other
social features. Additionally, research has supported that parental history both in terms of
attachments of varying quality as well as parental psychopathology, particularly in the
wake of adverse experiences, can strongly influence parental sensitivity and child
outcomes.

FATHERHOOD

 He is protective and shows affection that give his full trust and security.
 He is the source of encouragement and has the patience to listen.
 He truly provides the necessities of the family.
 He must respects and love the mother of his children and spending more quality time
with the family.

 Fathers, like mothers, are irreplaceable. They have a significant impact in the growth and
emotional development of their children, daughters and sons alike.
 Filipino father tends to fall into procreator and dilettante types whose main role is that of
provider and disciplinarian, and that they takes a limited role in child-rearing.
 The traditional Filipino father devotes much time and effort in making a living, so child
care is left practically to the mother. There are indications, however, that fathers are
getting more involved in child care.
 There are many fathers today who get up at night to help feed and change the diapers of
the baby. There are also many fathers who are seen carrying or holding little children in
the nursery school, in church and in the mall.
 Many fathers tend to underestimate the power of their love and support, encouragement
and presence in the lives of their child or children. Often it is because they been
conditioned to believe that a father’s value depends on being a superhero who fixes all
problems, and sweeps away all heartache. For generations, however, these unfair
expectations have kept fathers separated from – relationships – the heart of matters in the
home.
 Certain qualities that fathers represent and model are invaluable, for example, ones that
teach us to stand up for and to believe in ourselves and our dreams, ones that inspire us to
never give up and to muster the strength to face our fears with courage. Fathers often
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model and energize a strong and healthy sense of self, agency, determination, and
momentum to make things happen.

Classification of Fatherhood according to an activity dimension:

1. Procreator Father- one who equates fatherhood primarily with raising of and providing for
children.
2. Dilettante Father- one who is often away from home but maintains a warm relationship with
children.
3. Determinative Father- one who sees fatherhood as a task and and obligation and is obsessed
with directing his children’s lives.
4. Generative Father- one who spends much time with children and enjoys being with them
such that fatherhood becomes opportunity for his own growth and fulfillment.

According to Rebecca Barlow Jordan the Perfect Father is:

1. He has no favorites, but loves all His children unconditionally.
2. He is always right.
3. He is forever faithful and will never abandon His children.
4. He is always available.
5. He always knows the wise thing to do.

SOLO PARENTHOOD
- refers to a parent not living with a spouse or partner that has most of the day to day
responsibilities in raising the child or children.

CAUSES OF SOLO PARENTHOOD

 Death of partner
 Divorce
 Unintended Pregnancy
 Single Parent Adoption

CHILDREN AND DIVORCE

Child Custody- refers to which parent is allowed to make important decisions about the children
involved.
Physical Custody - refers to which parent the child lives with.
Parallel Parenting- refers to parenting after divorce in which each parent does so independently;
most common.
Cooperative Parenting - occurs when the parents involved in the child’s life work together around
all involved parties’ schedules and activities, and this is for less common.

Unintended Pregnancy
Mothers with the unintended pregnancies, and their children are subject to numerous adverse
health effect including increased risk of violence and death, and the children are less likely to succeed in
school and are more likely to live in poverty and be involved in crime.

Single Parent Adoption

Children adopted by a single person were raised in pairs rather than alone, and many adoptions by
lesbians and gay men were arranged as single parent adoptions.

Advantages of Single Parenting

 Greater control
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 Manipulative children
 Total financial control
 Less people to care for
 More time to the child

Disadvantages of Single Parenting

ž Lack of support
ž Too much pressure stress
ž Financial pressure
ž Child care issues
ž Limited social life
ž Difficulties balancing children and work
ž Loneliness

Child-Abuse and Child Labor

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines child abuse and child maltreatment as
"all forms of physical and/or emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect or negligent treatment
or commercial or other exploitation, resulting in actual or potential harm to the child's health,
survival, development or dignity in the context of a relationship of responsibility, trust or
power."
Millions of children in the Philippines are forced to work at young ages. Child labor is
one of the Philippines' most urgent problems and stems from a range of social factors. Unless
something is done to stop child labor, the issue will continue to affect the lives of many families
across the country.

FOUR TYPES OF CHILD ABUSE

1. Physical Abuse- This refers to non-accidental and/or unreasonable infliction of physical

injury, also known as child battering.
2. Neglect- This means deprivation of basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, love and care,
education, and medical care, including exposure to danger such as living the child alone
in the house or near the street without proper supervision.
3. Emotional Abuse- this is excessive verbal assault like cursing, derogatory remarks meant
to belittle the child, or nonverbal harassing acts.
4. Sexual Abuse- this means the use of children as objects for the sexual gratification of a
bigger or older person.