The original drunk cold email that generated gushing, positive responses from senior

decision makers at some of the world's largest brands - including Symantec, Hewlett
Packard, and many more.

Subject: Apologies in advance :(

{Firstname},

You’ve never heard of me. (Hi, I’m {First-Name}!) I got your email from a list *gasp*. But hey -
you’re list worthy, that’s gotta be something, right? :-)

OK. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I’m emailing you because I run an online marketing agency in
Clapham, London, called {Company-Name}, with my brother, {Name}, and a team of {X}.

I used to work at large digital agencies with big brand clients offering online marketing services
(SEO, PPC, Social Media, Analytics, Content Creation and Bedroom Tidying). For nearly {X}
years, we’ve run our own agency - and we’re absolutely loving it. It is so good to not feel like we
are ripping clients off - and we are doing the very best work we’ve ever done.

We recently got an office in Clapham North and I’m looking to win new clients over to our side
and away from those evil (ok maybe not evil… but not as good) other agencies. We have some
big names on board - but being the ambitious bunch we are, we won’t settle for anything other
than total domination.

If you let me have a chat with you about your online marketing needs - I will buy you lunch and
promise to be somewhat entertaining. I may even wear a top hat. First off, I’d love to provide
you with some ideas you are free to steal.

I have attached a picture of a ferret that has been dressed up. According to the internet, his
name is Colin. I trust this will charm you into submission.

I await your profanity filled response.

Have an absolutely wonderful day,

{Firstname} {Surname}

P.S. Thanks for your time and apologies for the unsolicited email. If you don’t reply, I will never
contact you again. As much as that upsets me...