Unit 3 Peer Review: Editing

Directions: Mark your responses directly onto the paper you are editing. Or, you can write your
answers here. If you are unsure, simply state that something seems off but you are unsure of
what.
1. How is the essay organized? Does each paragraph contain one and only one main idea
that connects to the thesis? Does this organization help move the ideas forward? Tell the
author if the organization works or offer organization ideas.
The body paragraphs focus on a specific rhetorical device. The organization can feel like it is
jumping to points quickly, so transitional paragraphs at the beginning are suggested.

2. Where could the author use stronger transitions to strengthen connections between his/her
points?
Throughout the body paragraphs.

3. Does the author have any fragments, comma splices, or run-ons? If so, mark them in the
text. If you know the rule, then go ahead an offer advice to the author. If you do not know
the rule, then simply mention that something seems off.
The author has a few comma splices and other grammatical mistakes (highlighted in yellow).

4. Where could the author use more detail to further illustrate his/her claim? Indicate these
places in the text.
Throughout the paragraphs about the rhetorical devices.

5. Are the style and tone of the essay appropriate for the audience?
The style and tone of the essay is appropriate for the audience.

6. Are the sentences and word choices varied? Does the author use strong, active verbs and solid,
descriptive nouns? Indicate where the author could strengthen the verbs and nouns.
The author’s word choices, regarding transitional phrases, can be a bit repetitive. I suggest using
different words/synonyms,

7. Is the author too repetitive or present too much information? In other words, does the
essay overwhelm you as a reader because there is too much information or underwhelm
you because there is too little information?
The content itself is not repetitive and presents a good amount of information that is not
underwhelming or overwhelming.

8. Is the essay confusing because information has been omitted and/or too much information is
assumed to be known by the readers?
The overall essay is not confusing, however, in some instances throughout the essay, the author
will say that the authors of the article gave an example of something, but then not provide the
direct example. I think that providing the direct example of what is being talk about can make it
more clear for the readers.

9. Is the essay in the correct MLA format?

The MLA formatting is overall correct except for the font which is not in Times New Roman.

10. Indicate in the text the author’s strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths:
-Strong introduction
-Strong conclusion
-Clear and easy to understand writing.

Weaknesses:

Repetitive word choices

Not enough examples or details

11. What are two or three revision suggestions you have for the writer?
- Include more details/examples/evidence in the body paragraphs.
- Revise a few grammatical mistakes.