Rio Bravo 2: Absolute Madness

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/51162664.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Gen, M/M, Multi
Fandoms: Original Work, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Breaking Bad, Friday
Night Funkin' (Video Game), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou
na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Postal (Video Games), Pico's
School (Video Games), 1632 Series - Various Authors, The Mandela
Catalogue (Web Series), Eddsworld - All Media Types, Norse Religion
& Lore
Relationships: Aphrodite/Ares (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Walter White/Reader,
Julius/Selever (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's Mid-Fight Masses),
Ruvyzvat (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's Mid-Fight Masses) &
Original Male Character(s), Tabi (Friday Night Funkin': Vs. Ex) &
Original Child Character(s), Postal Dude (Postal Video
Games)/Ruvyzvat (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's Mid-Fight Masses),
Cronus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore)/Reader, Everyone & Everyone,
Jesse Pinkman/Ruvyzvat (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's Mid-Fight
Masses)
Characters: Ares (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Aphrodite (Ancient Greek
Religion & Lore), Hephaestus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore),
Original Characters, Jack Welker, Walter White, Todd Alquist, Hank
Schrader, Jesse Pinkman, Kenny (Breaking Bad), Reader, Circe (Ancient
Greek Religion & Lore), Rschvania (Friday Night Funkin': Partners in
Time), Girlfriend (Friday Night Funkin'), Selever (Friday Night Funkin':
Sarvente's Mid-Fight Masses), Julius (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's
Mid-Fight Masses), Zeus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Giorno
Giovanna, Guido Mista, Tuco Salamanca, Postal Dude (Postal Video
Games), Krusveto (Friday Night Funkin': Partners in Time), Boyfriend
(Friday Night Funkin'), Rasazy (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's Mid-
Fight Masses), Apollo (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Pico (Pico's
School), Darnell (Pico's School), Mark Heathcliff, Sarah Heathcliff,
Adam Murray, Tabi (Friday Night Funkin': Vs. Ex), Tord (Eddsworld),
Future Tom (Eddsworld), Cronus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore),
Ruvyzvat (Friday Night Funkin': Sarvente's Mid-Fight Masses)
Additional Tags: Minor Original Character(s), Blood and Violence, Lovecraftian
Monster(s), Guns, Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Illegal
Activities, Episode: s05e14 Ozymandias, Broken Families, Murder,
Revenge, Assassins & Hitmen, Yandere, Cuddling & Snuggling, Men
Crying, Drabble, Father-Daughter Relationship, Platonic Cuddling,
Platonic Kissing, Time Travel
Language: English
Stats:
Published: 2023-10-28 Updated: 2024-04-26 Words: 30,738 Chapters:
55/60
 Rio Bravo 2: Absolute Madness
by Gojifan1962

Summary

A new anthology series I made as a good ol' sequel to the first one.
 Intro

Well everyone! This is another one of these. This is another anthology series where I
randomly post snippets for fics and original stories and head canons. As well as other things.
I MAY accept requests but I don't know. So yeah! Enjoy this chaos soon!
 2037
Chapter Summary

The Butcher prepares to FINALLY take his clam as the only TRUE war God!

(Snippet for Halfway House.)

Chapter Notes

Yep! Another DHC snippet! Enjoy y'all!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

December 6th, 2037

The world has come to a close as the hitman began to chop the meat into bits. The thing
laughed and laughed as he continued to chop the remains of Ares’ children to bits. For
thousands of years, the hitman has tried to overthrow the God of war himself. He’s nothing
but a weakling, not a God of war. A war god would have the perfect mix of brutality and
strategy. Not just one of them. That’s what made a war god a war god.

The place he was at was a sh#tty little apartment owned by some racist Confederate lost
causer. The place looked abandoned and smelled like cat piss and expired milk and Bud light.
Not a good place, especially with the trash all littered across the damp dirty floor. A flag
showing the fallen side of the civil war on the kitchen wall.

But a shady place people don't go to is a shady place people don't go to. So it was perfect for
the deed of turning God's into cubed meat.

So the hitman decided to end it. He’s going to end it all for all he cares about. He continued
to laugh as he heard the screams of the war goddess all tied up. Finishing by chopping
Phobos and Deimos up into cubes and putting them into trash bags. The cackling continued
as he said, in a deep voice that was too deep to be human.
“You see this, you piece of Greek garbage?” He sounded calm, collected. With a sadistic
flair that would make the most devious serial killer an innocent little girl in comparison. He
grabbed the bags of the chopped up Gods and showed them to their mother. Causing the love
Goddess to cry her eyes out. This only made the hitman laugh. She deserves it, a
manipulative monster. She was like her brother Cronos. Just an a**hole who needed to die.
That was all to it, “These Used to be your two sons until I tortured them and chopped
their corpses into little bits! You can say they got themselves a little chopped up!"

Aphrodite continued to cry and pry and scream. Only to no avail, as she looked at the hitman.
Her hands have been tied up to an extremely tight rope. The hitman continued to laugh as he
calmed himself down. Her tears made it better for him. The thing pulled out a joint, lighting it
up and puffing smoke into her eyes.

"Y'know… I would usually not do this to the female humanoids that exist here." Said
the hitman, chuckling a little more. "But I don't care about you at all. You're just a
cheating little sl#t who thinks she can just seduce everyone and move on with life? Then
oh, how f#cking wrong you are!"

The hitman then pulled out a pistol, a handgun the size of a damn table in his hands.
Aphrodite twitched as he aimed the gun at her. His wide grin not moving a millimeter, he
then opened fire…

He opened fire, the pure white bullet hitting the love goddess' legs. She screamed even louder
to the point of bloody murder. Only muffled by her gag.

The hitman sighed, his deep monstrous voice said one more thing before he grabbed some
weapons and left: "Sad I can't kill you because of Hephaestus and I made a deal. But
here's the thing. I can still torture you…" he stopped, rubbing his chin with two of his
fingers and a thumb. "But I'm just going to let you're a** stay here until someone frees
you. Your lover Ares is attracting my attention a little more!"

So the hitman got up and left the apartment. Not even caring about the authorities possibly
being called. But not before burning the Confederate flag and leaving it on the floor. Not
caring if it burned. Leaving a broken and traumatized Goddess all tied up alone in a racist
a**holes apartment.

The hitman walked outside in the hallway. The nearly broken down lighting somehow made
him raise an eyebrow. As a man, with a big beer belly, a stained tank top as well as he looked
at the man with hatred. It didn't help that this redneck had a pube beard.
 "So… you must be around h-"

"Shut the f#ck up!" The white trash said, as he angrily tripped on the floor followed by
burping. "I- I don't know why you broke into my house! You're not as good as those filthy
nig-"

The hitman just shot the racist guy in the head at least ten times. Before using his used joint
to light him on fire.

"Damn white trash," the hitman muttered. Walking down the stairs and getting out of the
complex. He had a job to do. A very… important job. Probably the biggest job in his
centuries long career. "Now, where's that little b#tch Ares?!"

Chapter End Notes

Uhh here's some things I know I guess:

-The Butcher actually used to have a beard during the Ancient Greek era, as well as
longer hair.

-The year setting is a reference to a certain series made by a certain Queer Bastard!

-Soul Tracers are now canon to DHC.

 Chapter 3
Chapter Summary

[Name] sees the death of Hank Schrader and his respect for his father...

(Snippet for El Paso)

Chapter Notes

Yes, Breaking Bad fic snippet. Enjoy!

[Name] wasn't the most special guy. For all he knew, he's just another normal guy in the
messed up world he called life. And the fact that he came back to Albuquerque after the
'DEA' confrontation with the neo Nazis made his head spin. It's very bizarre that in his misery
known as twenty-six years of life, he only experienced emotional pain twice. The type of pain
that makes people grow yet damages them at the same time.

[Name] has been the son of Jack Welker, famous mercenary and neo nazi. Famous for his
murderous and psychotic persona, as well as his brutal gang of little psychos. Jack wasn't a
terrible father, he wasn't a good one either. He was mediocre if you will. He had taught
[Name] how to shoot, how to take care of feds. And most importantly of all, that life is a
precious thing. Because Jack was clearly the opposite of it.

[Name] stood still in the middle of To'hajiilee Indian Reservation. His eyes feel like they're
going to burn. His body felt like it just made contact with fire for the first time. He stared at
the dead corpse of one of the DEA agents. Before looking at the scene of another.

They were supposed to be looking for Jesse Pinkman. A man who was hired by an individual
not far away from the carnage. Standing with his hands cuffed, Walter White, biggest meth
kingpin and cook, stared. As Jack planned to kill the other DEA agent injured on the ground.
Walter's brother-in -law Hank Scrader. His bald fat from laying there. Bleeding from the
bullet hole he received in the shoot out.

Now this was the weirdest part here. Unlike the rest of the neo nazis like Jack or Kenny or
any others. [Name] had a deep… affection for Walter White. Sure, Walter was three whole
decades older than him. But [Name] can't help but love him in a way that his father Jack
would hate. Yep, you guessed it right. [Name] was romantically interested in this guy. And he
doesn't know how to think about it besides that he was a kind, brilliant and hardworking guy
who didn't deserve the fate he was given. Simple as that.

Especially when he heard Walter White start pleading, begging for Hank's life.

"It's eighty million dollars," Walter explained, trying his best to convince them that Hank
needed to be spared. "Eighty million."

"So that's what got this party started huh?" Jack asked with that twisted smile [Name] knew
too well.

Walt tried everything. Bargain for his own money, trying to make Jack just spare him!
Anything! But [Name] knew very well about his father's refusal to listen. And due to Hank's
stubbornness. Jack shot Hank dead. Just like every other guy [Name] saw his father murder.

[Name] could've remembered his heart and soul being broken as he heard Hank say his final
words to Walt.

"What? You want me to beg? You're the smartest guy I ever met. And you're too stupid to
see.. he made up his mind ten minutes ago." He turned his head to Jack standing above him.
[Name] stared intently as he stood next to his cousin Todd. Feeling his stomach turned
sideways as he stared at the incoming carnage. "Do what you're gonna do."

Bang .

He could remember the utter reaction of carnage in this moment. [Name] jumped slightly
backward, body still tense from the gunshot. The reactions fresh from the war he served.

"Jesus Christ!" [Name] whispered, staring at his father with a shocked as hell grin. He knew
his father was cruel, but killing a man in the middle of speaking? That's some other type of
fucked up his dad showed. [Name] quickly grabbed his Beretta 84F and pulled it out.
Searching for enemies… They must be out there…
"Woah woah hey calm down," Todd said, resting a hand on [Name's] shoulder. It wasn't
comforting at all. But it at least showed that [Name] wasn't dead. At least for now. "Is it some
PTSD or something?"

[Name] quickly realized how he messed up and composed himself. Clearing his throat as he
said, "Yeah, I think I'm okay," [Name] said, turning to look at Jack and Kenny. Who looked a
little disappointed but also understanding (sort of. Remember, this is Jack Welker we're
talking about.) "I just thought some other gang was going to ambu-"

[Name] stopped dead on his tracks as he saw Walter. The man was lying on his side. His
cheek plastered on the hot New Mexican desert floor. His eyes scrunched up as he weeped.
[Name] wanted to help him, to comfort him. To maybe even love him. But that wouldn't
work out for any of them. Walter was already married with two kid's, his father was a
homophobic asshole along with his gang of Nazi bitches. And he didn't want that to happen.

So he just stared in pure agony. As he saw his love just suffer like this. It made [Name] sick
to his stomach. He just stared and didn't move a muscle. Trying to get out of this… trance.

Jack soon took notice. "Hey son, why don't you leave here?" Jack said, sounding a little
concerned. "You can take a break from this. You look like you saw a ghost,"

"But dad what about Pink-"

"We can find Pinkman later!" Jack said, a little more firm this time as he pulled out a
cigarette to smoke. "Just go! You come back when you think you're ready. That's an order,
understood?"

[Name], honestly agreed with this order. He nodded and proceeded to walk towards his shitty
little Subaru he bought a year ago and get in. Driving out of there without a second thought.
He was tired, tired and freaked out. The PTSD coming like a wave of angry soldiers. Hitting
him harder than a steel train. He hit the highway an hour later. The only thing in his mind
being Walter White… That poor, poor soul who [Name] loved dearly. But now he had a dead
brother in law and probably lost everything to Jack. His sadistic father.

[Name] felt his vision blur. He barely made it to his house. Feeling a sense of grief hit him…
 A sad fate...
Chapter Summary

A lovecraftian monstrosity finally felt sadness for once...

(Snippet for Halfway House.)

Some time in Ancient Greece.

As the sky turned black. The tall blonde monstrosity busted down the door of the house with
little care of the homeowners house. His left hand was completely destroyed from Zeus'
thunderbolt. Showing an angry army of spiders and a large black tentacle coming out of the
remains. Regeneration was going to be a b#tch. But not as much as his enemy.

He had several enemies due to his horrific nature. The titans trembled when his name was
mentioned. Zeus himself didn't even want to fight him. Hell, after telling Hades that he nearly
killed a God of a rival pantheon. He was banned from the underworld until he stopped killing
people.

But the abomination doesn't listen to anyone per say. Especially when they're in the middle of
the Trojan War. The thing looked at his sword, an eyebrow raised as he looked at the house.

A little boy was seen there. Dying, a dagger in his chest. This was the first time the
monstrosity ever felt… anything besides sadistic joy and malice. His poor eyes said it all.
This child has been hurt by God knows what. Tears inside the child's eyes. The lovecraftian
monstrosity didn't know what to do…

"He-help… me…" the child said, tears in his eyes. "The sorceress stabbed me and killed my
parents. I… think I'm going to die!"
The monstrosity took a step forward, his tentacles turning into a hand finally. He walked over
to the boy and slowly picked him up. He brought the boy's head to his chest and gently
stroked his hair. A feeling of sadness washed over him as he saw the boy bleeding and crying
all over.

He knew that the boy would die soon. There's nothing he could do about it. Even if he used
his supernatural powers he barely understands. The abomination wasn't scary to the boy. As
he spoke, sounding soft and gentle yet deep and inhuman: "Shh, it's okay… Just let me
remove that dagger okay? What's your name?"

He went and slowly removed it. He made sure he did it as gently as he could. The dagger
went out with some ching. This would make the boy bleed more. But at least he'll suffer less,
right? The boy never answered, he didn't have the energy to say anything.

He stayed there for at least a whole day until the boy bled out. Finally going into the afterlife
peacefully. The abomination sighed, gently resting the corpse onto the floor, followed by him
getting up and looking around.

He knew someone did this. He knew that whoever murdered this child had made an enemy
with the wrong being… He knew Ares was up to this. He could've sensed it by the fact that
he and that twisted witch Circe were involved in this. He grabbed his weapon and groaned.

"Sweet mother of Zeus… Who did this? I swear to the God's I will slaughter everything
I see until I find the two b#stards!" He said, unaware of a God appearing before him.

What came in front of him was an ugly God. Wearing a big beard and having a large hammer.
The anomaly knew God quite well. In fact he even bought some enchanted weapons from
him. He raised an eyebrow and laughed to hide his hatred.

"Oh, hey Hephaestus. The hell do you want?"

Hephaestus raised an eyebrow at the thing. He shook a little bit at the mere thought of
looking at the 'man' he knew quite well from his encounters with Zeus. He went towards the
thing and said, "Oh mighty Butcher, who's slain thousands in his wake. You want vengeance,
right?"

"I mean, isn't it obvious?" The Butcher said, moving his beard to the side. "This innocent
boy died at the hands of two dishonorable c#nts! They must pay!"
"Well, I have a little deal to offer. Mighty murderer!" Hephaestus said calmly, he revealed an
arrow, made of pure milk white and sharp to the touch. He threw it at the Butcher, who
catched it and looked at it for a minute.

"The Hell did you give me? Looks like a ugly abomination of an arrow! And I don't
even like bows!"

"Well, it's a new technology I made, it actually kills God's!" The God of the forge said with a
confident smile. "And you can have it, you can have all the revenge you want! You just have
to pay me one thing in return!"

"And what's that?" The Butcher asked, he sounded interested in this deal. As he got up and
approached the God.

Hephaestus took a step back, sweating slightly as he stared at him.

"You will spare the lives of the people I love," He said, manifesting a tablet listing name's of
God's and mortals alike. The Butcher took it and skimmed through it as he stroked his beard.
"Besides that, I will make you more of these special weapons for free. Okay?"

The Butcher chuckled and nodded, his sadistic smile coming back with a grin to horrify
Cronos himself.

"Oh alright then!" He said as he stared at the poor boy's corpse. A frown in his face. "I
think we need justice for this boy. I'll gladly accept! But you better give me something
that's not arrows! Got it?"

Hephaestus nods and disappears. Leaving the monstrosity alone yet again.
 Random Facts about Marie Walker
Chapter Summary

Well everyone. This is time for another lore dump I guess. This time it's about Patrick's
good ol' mother Marie (Queer really wanted this for some reason. They adore Marie I
guess.) Anyways, enjoy I guess!

"Are you people just gonna stand here? Because I ain't. I have kid's to raise, damn it!"- Marie
Walker.

Is the daughter of Hillbilly McGee. Which MEANS she's got a strong opinion
Is a calm and collected individual. Always chill in both normal situations. Especially on
weird ones too.
Met Harold at an Arby's in Mount Vernon. And they've stayed together ever since.
Is constantly worried about Patrick. Mainly because of his personality and ability. As
well as his association with shady people.
Is still confused on why Greek Gods exist.
Her and Harold's parenting is just a mix of traditional and average. (They don't spoil
their children. But their parenting kinda doesn't work on Patrick that much due to his
whole situation.)
Patrick still listens to her though.
Her father and older brother taught her to shoot guns and kill things. So she's an expert
marksman.

BONUS INTERACTION ( Interaction with Queer B#stards OCs.)

Oleg:

Has a family bond with him, his father and sister. As well as his mother.
They met when Krusveto went to America to talk to Hillbilly and discuss the military
and things relating to war.
Tries to make Patrick understand what HSP. But Patrick doesn't care and thinks it's a
myth.
Oleg is an older brother figure to Marie. And both of them remain close.
Oleg's heartbroken because Marie doesn't trust Rsch anymore due to the death of her
biological older brother Jerry.
 Is in the middle between the weird tension between Patrick's friends (Pico, Nene etc.)
And the church family. And especially when she one time saw GF cuss Oleg out for
defending Rsch.

Stacy:

Same as Oleg but closer.

Marie calls Stacy all the time. They discuss everything together.
She's still confused on why no one of Patrick's friends hate or doesn't acknowledge
Stacy. Especially when it comes to GF.
"Hey Stacy, remember that pedophile who dad beaten up? Well he's back and now he
just got slaughtered by dad… We need to clean up his corpse."
Has never seen Ruv and their more like distant friends. Despite Harold and Ruv being
close for some reason.
Both of them drink Dunkin donuts every day. It's that GOOD!
 Thanksgiving Tomfoolery
Chapter Summary

Patrick, Selever and Julius get into some bullshit with an alternate dimension!

(Snippet for a Pat Light Masses thanksgiving special.)

Chapter Notes

Don't ask me why. I just wanted to show y'all this lmao.

Thanksgiving is a very respected holiday. Celebrated by tons of Americans every year at the
second to last day of November after the Pilgrims ate some food with the native Americans.
But to one dimension hopping fourteen year old with a craving for sweets and a hatred for the
color pink. Thanksgiving is the worst holiday ever.

Patrick Herbert Walker always hated Thanksgiving. The traditional foods tasted like battery
acid and their mascot was a turkey. He never understood what was so good or American
about the holiday. He believes it was communist as hell! The Pilgrims were weird midget
assholes who woar horrible hat's and killed the natives. They wore pink or black in his mind.
And he thought pink was the most EVIL, DIABOLICAL COLOR IN EXISTENCE! And the
dimension hopper was about to go through some more bullshit apparently! As he, along with
a couple friends are having the weirdest thanksgiving ever!

Patrick, followed by Julius and Selever were at a weird little dimension only known to them
as the shitty thanksgiving dimension. The place was a wet reality. All covered in mud and
gunk. As well as cranberry sauce and a hint of apple cider. This place was already ugly
enough. With its cursed fall themed trees with mouths. Raining all the time and staining
everyone's clothes. It didn't help that it soaked the three boy's clothes.

The worst part though. Wasn't the awful food being only thanksgiving themed. Wasn't the
part where everything was only thanksgiving and nothing else. Wasn't the part where Selever
almost wasted their real food supply… twice. It was the organisms and entities that called this
place home.

They were ugly as hell! The pilgrims looked particularly obese, lacking any hygiene of any
kind. They're faces looked extremely inbred like they came from Alabama. Faces similar to a
pig's rather than a person. They were also short to boot. Yet run extremely fast. And the
turkeys were worse! They were the sizes of the pilgrims, having red sharp teeth and ugly
warts and pimples all over. And to make it worse. They have a craving for blood! (OH GOD
NO?!) The native Americans are the only normal ones here anyway.

The three boy's were now in the random woods. Far secured in the shadows of the cave
disgusting cannibalistic pilgrims sat the three. Each of them staring into the foggy trees.
Patrick was eating a sandwich, Julius was aiming his revolver at the tree and Selever was
looking around. So far, this was awful.

"Jesus Christ man!" Yelled Selever, his eyes staring dead at the foggy woods. Waiting for a
pilgrim to come. "Isn't there some cave or anything? We can't hide in some fog or whatever!"
He said, tripping on some of the words. "We've been running for hours and hours yet we're
still being chased!"

"Look," Julius said with a sigh. The three were chained up, due to Patrick's weird abilities.
All three would only go home if they're connected. "It's alright so far. We don't have any
psycho pilgrim's or weird turkey's showing up around us. We killed them. It's alright. It won't
be long before we leave."

"How the hell do you? Patrick can last almost two months in an alternate dimension! How do
you know?"

"Look Sel, I'm just trying to be optimistic here! We all need it! Patrick needs it, you need it!
We just can't lose hope like that!"

Patrick turned his head to the two people, or should he say demons in front of him. A raised
eyebrow. He knew Selever and Julius or dating or whatever. But he didn't get it! Do people
who date each other argue all the time!? Thank God that he isn't romantically interested in
anything at all.

"You know I'm right here, right?" Patrick said with a light chuckle. The teenager got up after
eating his food and looked around. Before turning his head around to see if there's anything
out there to kill him. One of his many pistols came out of his pocket and aimed at the
mysterious fog. "Honestly, this is why Thanksgiving is awful to be honest. The food and
origins are really suspicious!"
"In this dimension it sure as hell is!" Selever said back, his confidence coming back slowly.
"This would probably be the MOST SHITTY thanksgiving here! Can't believe this hellhole
even ex-"

Selever stopped, as all three of them heard gobbles and gobbles. Both sounding corrupted,
disgusting and monstrous. Soon a turkey came from the shadows. Its face is covered in warts
and built like a brick shit house. Standing an inch below Selever…

"God… damn it!" Scowled Julius, "It's bigger than the previous ones!"
 Circe vs The Butcher.
Chapter Summary

Circe was always been the undefeated Goddess. Every violent occasion she remained
superior. But... Like other deities... The horrifying Butcher came back with a
vengeance...

(Snippet for Halfway House.)

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Midnight, Mount Veron High School parking lot.

The sorceress was making potions by the minute. Her hands turned the water into a new
magical drink. Circe was a successful goddess. She has made the mortals respect her like the
little sheep they are. She was superior to them, there was nothing that could stop her for all
she knew. And that showed with her control over the people.

All of the people near her were turned into nothing but pigs. Oinking, weak pigs who
squealed and screamed like nothing had happened. They were running all over the poor
parking lot. But her spells hit them, turning to organs and red stains. The high school parking
lot was soon covered with gore. As she said murderous words that can not be written or
spoken anywhere.

Her rituals were soon interrupted by the roaring of a car. She turned behind her, seeing a
horrible little El Camino. It looked like a rusty chariot in her eyes. Several parts of it were
either broken or rusted to the point of no return. The wheels were stained by dirt and said red
gore. It pulled in and parked sideways with an ear-bleeding screech. Circe just stopped and
pulled out a dagger in reply. Her grin decreased into a frown.

Things became worse when the driver revealed himself. He nonchalantly opened a door,
showing a 7’5 man. With dead blue eyes and short blonde hair, holding his rifle tight. A
psychotic smile way too familiar to not be a coincidence. His boot stomped on a pig’s heart
as he chuckled a little bit. A little splash of crimson hit his pants. The leather jacket, a dead
pitch black as he looked at Circe.

“Oh, hello Circe, remember me?” He said, deep and lacking of humanity. The abomination
had a sadistic edge to him as he aimed the Winchester at the witch, not giving her a chance to
react. “Your destiny is here you little b#tch! Do you think you can escape an encounter
with me? How wrong you are!”

Circe’s face turned upside down after he finished his sentence, steam coming out her ears as
she yelled. “SHUT UP MORTAL! I am tired of you!” She shrieked, “Time to be cursed you
monster!”

“At least I didn’t kill an innocent little CHILD! Ugly wh#re!”

“How dare you?”

Both of them stood for a second. Until the abomination pulled the trigger. A glowing white
bullet hit her midsection. Another hit her head. Soon the sorceress had bullet holes. But she
fought back. She fired a burning blue orb. It shined with fury and pure unfiltered impurity.
The lovecraftian monstrosity didn't even dodge or move away. He let the ball of spells hit
him. That sadistic smile still on his face.

The orb hit the abomination. And soon the monster disguised as a human turned into a pig.
His clothes and gun immediately dropped on the stained parking lot ground. That's strange,
Circe thought. Her eyebrows raised a little bit. I thought the clothes and whatever they're
holding came out. She thought. She grunted a little bit in pain. As she looked down at swine

The pig looked normal for a second. The goddess became a little confused. But it then started
squealing faster. Circe held her ears as she heard the hog scream. It continued to squeal and
scream. It looked slow and shaky. As it looked up in terror.

Circe was going to walk away and lick her wounds. The hit messed her up big time. Her
wound was bleeding quickly. It wasn't the regular bullet which would just sting and didn't last
long. But this was a different type of pain. It lasted for centuries and hurt the sh#t out of her.

The pig continued to scream. Until the wave of tentacles suddenly came out of the pig!
Spiders and crab limbs chop and penetrate the pigs skin. A new form of crimson came out, it
roared in pain. Making her ears bleed as the pile of spiders and tentacles and crab limbs
 exploded the pig from the inside. Making the pig guts and gore spread out and staining her
and the parking lot. Her eyes widened, her brain was invaded with voices. Taunting her,
screaming and taunting her.

The pile didn't react or say anything itself. She trembled. Leading to her falling to her knees.
Crimson coughed out as she mumbled, "Curse you Butcher… You were weak and disgusting!
You mo-"

"Planktos… That was his name…!" The Butcher said, the pile becoming a 7'5 hitman with
a sadistic smile. He looked the same. Except for wearing a trenchcoat. As he pulled out a
hatchet… She didn't even know why or how he got that from anywhere. He just continued.
"He was an innocent boy. A person who I didn't want to smash his head in… And you
KILLED HIM with that little c#nt Ares! So this is the end! Destiny is here and it's
saying f#ck you! B#tch!"

The Butcher immediately ran and chopped the top of Circe's head. He laughed and drawn out
the pain like a cat toying with his prey. He continued to swing and swing. Until Circe was
nothing but chopped up meat sticks and cubes. She felt every bit of the pain. Her spells didn't
work as she screamed. Meanwhile, the Butcher continued to absolutely slaughter her. Like
the filthy pig she was… And like Deimos and Phobos. She, too, was in a bag… To be
punished in a personal hell. For the rest of eternity.

Chapter End Notes

Quick end trivia:

-In Queers canon (His Woes and Families Love.) Butcher chopped her in bits and fed it
to Oleg and dogs. He showed Ruv what he did and he supported it.

-The Butcher is a physical fighter. But he can use mind games rather easily!

-He let's people attack him and counters. Braking their morale.

-The good ol' overhead ax chop Butcher used is quite effective for him. He used it
against many mortals and Apollo multiple times!

-He still didn't regret killing Circe or anyone he previously murdered...

-Circe is evil in DHC.

 Patrick escapes The Hospital Prologue
Chapter Summary

Apollo tries to kidnap a five year old Patrick but fails because well... His uncle is here to
kick his ass!

Chapter Notes

Well everyone! It's time to make another Pat Light Masses one shot inspired by the
crossover. This time I decided to have Hillbilly McGee's dead son appear (I'll make a
facts list about him next.) So he's in this prologue. Also, this prologue is canon to DHC
as well. So yeah! Enjoy!

The legacy burned in their veins as the two sons of Zeus and Hillbilly McGee stood each
other down. A frown was on Apollo's face. The overprotective soldier aimed his semi-
automatic pistol at him. A frown on his face.

"Tell me, son of McGee!" Apollo said, a pure frown on his face. He didn't know that
kidnapping a mortal child would be that hard. But this was the son of a mortal who constantly
kicked the asses of anyone, human or deity. "Do you want to deny the will of the Gods? You
are quite the pain…"

Jeremy, or most likely his nickname, 'Jerry' McGee. Stood there, in his camo pants and a
black hoodie with the words, "Don't make political parties you dumbass!" With an image of
George Washington above the caption.

He was a tall guy, standing around seven foot six. With scraggly short blonde hair and a
cutthroat smile rising. He was a soldier who fought in many wars just like his father. His
hands gripped the pistol. As he aimed it at the deity. His five-year-old nephew, Patrick, is
behind him. The boy looked confused as he stared at his uncle just aiming his weapon at the
figure.
"Look, I ain't letting you take my nephew asshole!" Jerry said, his tone confident And firm.
As he scolded the deity in front of him. Out of all the rainy days in his sister's mansion.
Apollo decided to just show up, and try to kidnap his nephew and probably his infant niece?!
What a big bitch! "You are one special type of dickhead, you know that? Always trying to
fuck with my family! Do me a favor and go have another dead lover! Stupid cunt!"

Apollo gasps and fires an arrow at Jerry, who tries to dodge but fails. The arrow hit his
shoulder. Causing blood to come out of it. Jerry scowled as he grabbed his shoulder. A
feeling of extreme pain jolting in his arm. He frowned again and just pulled the trigger.

The bullets went out like a demon from hell. It hit Apollo's nuts as Jerry laughed his laugh
off.

"I will admit, you're one hell of an archer," he said, a smirk plastered on his face, and the mag
emptied on the God. Making him bleed. "But bows can't do shit when I have an automatic
pistol! Dad always told me you sucked! Probably literally from all the times, you blew up
your chances at love?"

"Shut up mortal!" Apollo yelled, firing another arrow, this time in Jerry's knee. Before falling
over. "What is wrong with you? You are insane! Just like your father!"

"At least my dad didn't rape or fuck anything with a heartbeat BESIDE his wife! Face it ya
cock muncher! You either leave or I'll send you to your pantheon in pieces!" Jerry yelled,
pulling out his machete. It looked as long as a sword. And sharper than a lightsaber on crack.
He could only move or limp. But he didn't care. He's been in Iraq before. He's been through
worse. Apollo just sighed and teleported away. His morale was crushed.

Patrick was shocked. Not only did he see Uncle Jerry fight some archer guy. Or let alone
swear! He widened his eyes as the injured Jerry walked over and kneeled. A smile on his face
as Patrick looked at him with solid confusion.

"Uncle Jerry… Are you okay?" Patrick asked, the boy was a little concerned. "That was
amazing but you looked hurt by that weird archer guy!"

Jerry smiled and moved his hand to rest it on the kid's shoulder. He didn't care about the fact
that he was injured and bleeding. Whatever Apollo hit him with. It made the son of Hillbilly
McGee bleed a lot. His whole torso was drenched in his crimson kool-aid. But he was just
focused on his nephew. His goofy loveable nephew who took some behaviors from him. He
patted his head, passed him a five-dollar bill, and said, "No Pat, I'm alright. I just need to
patch myself up and get some new clothes. You just go and buy yourself something sweet
while I get the medical supplies. I ain't giving the hospital any dime."

Pat at first seemed hesitant. But then he just accepted it and said, "Thanks, Uncle Jerry!
You're the best uncle ever!" Before walking towards the house with a smile and a wave. Jerry
smiled and yelled, "No problem kid! Love you!" Before slowly getting up and limping
towards his car. Hopefully, his sister Marie wouldn't be THAT pissed. But hey, who knows?
Maybe she'll not mind.
 Random Facts about Jeremy 'Jerry' McGee
Chapter Summary

Heyo everyone! Since I wanted to include Jerry in some flashbacks. I might as well do a
random facts about him because DAMN he's quite the personality (Like to the Butcher
and Patrick level personality LMAO.)

Anyways enjoy!

"Give me a beer and a glock. Along with something to bash someone's skull with. And that's
all I'll need to make the enemy regret living!" -Jerry McGee.

Was one of the first soldiers to rival Hillbilly McGee's kill count. But not before his
timely demise.
Is a seven foot six tall man with short scraggly hair. He's not as tall as his dad but still
really tall.
His personality is casual yet cutthroat. He's a combination of Selever and Hillbilly in a
way. He's not as serious but he's not full on annoying teenager. So he is chill AF!
He absolutely loves his nephew and niece Patrick and Sarah. He constantly babysits
them until his death. (He never got the chance to see his youngest nephew Marshall.)
He served with his father in the middle east during the war. He fought Iraq, terrorist
groups, and giant monsters. So he's deadly.
His father taught him how to kill. He's extremely close to him and defends him to
death. Not only that, he's one of the best marksmen in the family.
His fighting style is like his father's. But faster and more violent. He's a bit more
sadistic than his father when he sees injustice.
He's the older sister of Marie. And he's extremely protective of her. He hates Harold for
not raising his kids for a "Gay ass oil tycoon that no one likes or cares about. Especially
when they use people like God damn pawns."
His father's actions are similar to his in a way. He still fights Apollo and hates his guts.
He also fought monsters and demons. As well as The Butcher and Zeus one time.
Is bisexual but he prefers KILLING STUFF BECAUSE IT'S FUN!
Spoils the sh#t out of his little sister and her children. He's heavily involved with their
lives.
After his mom divorced his dad. He decided to never have a long romantic
relationships. One night stands only. He doesn't care.
He loves the M60 Machine gun. He has one and likes to use it against Apollo.
He died tragically when Patrick's around 6-11 year's old. In Dimension Hopper
Chronicles, Apollo killed him in a burning house. But in Pat Light Masses, Rsch
accidentally killed him over an argument about the Greek Gods involvement with the
 church family (Jerry didn't want his family to be corrupted by Zeus or that piece of
scum Apollo!) He was even considered a threat by the deities of Greece.
His death negatively affected everyone.
Is chaotic yet follows his own laws.

Bonus interaction (Interaction with Queer Bastards OCs.)

Oleg:

Was the only person that made Jerry break his 'no long term relationships' rule. But he
never got a chance to confess to him.
He's extremely overprotective and would kill anyone who makes fun of Oleg's HSP.
"Look, if you make fun of Oleg. You're going to have my blade chopping your legs off.
Then I'll feed it to your mom while I bang your father RAW!"
Hated that Oleg dated Apollo. He thought Apollo was an abusive asshole. So he was
always around them. So this made the gatherings more awkward.
"Jerry, what are you doing with Papa Hillbilly?!"
"I just want to talk to him, nothing much. Just want to talk to him." (He has a shotgun
in his hands while saying that.)
He once had a very gay moment where he cuddled Oleg and Ruv to sleep on two
different occasions.
He tries to convince Oleg to quit being a pacifist. Because he's afraid of him dying.
He drinks and smokes. He's also one of the weird mental aspirations in Patrick's mind
besides Cassandra in Pat Light Masses.

Stacy:

Doesn't care or give a shit about her.

He taught her how to strangle people with almost anything.
She saw him stab Ares while the Butcher was aiming a gun at him. So yeah!
He also made her kill a pedophile once. Because in his mind: "Pacifists are just slaves
made to set free. Violence is a rare liberty."
To this day, she never understood that Jerry, The Butcher and Dionysus always go to
the bar every Sunday to get drunk and into bar fights.
"Pacifist? 'More like pass my knife through your skull!' That's the funniest thing that
lovecraftian monstrosity guy told me! Because it's so true Stacy!"
"Y'know Jerry? Sometimes you make me terrified to the point where I may wet my
pants."
He and her watched a WrestleMania together with Hillbilly once. It was glorious!
 The STUPID RIDE WITH A JUNKIE!
Chapter Summary

Walter and Jesse are in the RV. Driving to Tuco Salamanca when they find out
something WEIRD!

(Snippet for Hol Horse buys Meth.)

"So Mr. White," said Jesse Pinkman, he and his former chemistry teacher and current meth
partner Walter White have been inside the meth-dealing business as of late. And both of them
have been through some bullsh#t with Tuco turning Jesse into hamburger meat. And now
having to give Tuco a larger pile of meth every week. "We got the product yo? Skinny Pete
told me that Tuco wants a LOT of purity in the next batch! I'm actually kinda terrified!"

Walter just stared at the crystal in the bags. They've currently made about forty-five pounds
of the methylphenidate made in the past week. All ready for Tuco Salamanca and his little
gang of junkies to feast themselves over. The man just turned to Jesse and nodded. Putting on
his Fedora.

"Jesse, the product is RIGHT in front of your DAMN eyes!" Walter yelled as he ran his fifty-
year-old cancer-ridden body to the front of the RV. Waiting to floor it to the junkyard where
all the drug trading happened. "What the hell were you doing anyway Jesse? Snorting
cocainer and sipping Pepsi!"

"HELL YES!" Jesse said, high on cocainer and downing all the Pepsi he could manage.
Before Walter can scold Jesse for doing such a weird gross thing. His phone rang… OF
COURSE IT DID!

Walter quickly pulled out the phone and clicked it. Putting it on while driving.

"Hello?" Walter said, “Who is this? And why are you calling me here?”

“Oh hey, Walt!” Said Giorno Giovanna with a stupid cocky voice. He was a mob boss who
openly worked for Tuco. Walter didn’t understand why the hell this loser of a mob boss
would even call him. “Look, I don’t have that much time. You already know that Mr.
Salamanca expects more of that meth. How many pounds did you make?”
“Around forty pounds or so,” Walter stated, driving his way to the junkyard. It was the next
turn away.

“But that doesn’t matter. Me and Jesse have to hand your boss the product. Now will you stop
talking to me on the phone?! I gotta get Tuco the product and I am sure as hell done talking to
you!”

“Oh whatever you want Walter ‘cancer man’ Whi-”

Walter closed the phone to the point where he almost broke it. He was now pissed. Very
pissed. Giorno was acting like a little piece of sh#t again! And he had ENOUGH of that crap!

"Yo Mr. White!" Yelled Jesse, he looked outside only to see a guy who makes anime art… Or
something. "I think we're here! Tuco was always a gay weeaboo! We hit our jackpot yo!"

"JESSE I HAVE GOD DAMN EARS YOU KNOW THAT?!" Walter yelled back. As he saw
Tuco, along with Gonzo, No-Doze and Guido Mista standing there. Waiting for the two of the
dealers to bring them that product. That blue, suspicious product they made in a God damn
RV! (WHO MAKES METH IN RVS?! THAT'S LIKE SAYING DIO LIKES JOTARO
ROMANTICALLY!) "And you have eyes too! I know we're heading to get the meth bought
by Tuco and some gay anime characters! Now can you please let me be?! This is becoming
nothing but bullsh#t!"
 Random Facts about Joe.
Chapter Summary

You know what? I still feel like The Madness Saga needs some more damn attention. So
before I go and work on something for the Ruv dump, some TFGS fics. Or whatever.
I'm going to post another random facts thing in this anthology. And it's about the main
protagonist of the madness Saga. The most unluckiest highschooler known to man...:
Joe.

"You know what? I'm tired of asking you for straight answers. This whole situation is
ridiculous!" - Joe (The Dark God Rewritten)

Has dealt with so many paranormal activities that he doesn't believe the word 'normal'
exists.
Wilson is his stepfather and he really hates him. Fully thinking that he's his enemy.
Favorite pistol is the Walther P38. He just uses it a lot.
Best friend is Lucas (who's also a Wendigo.
His personality is calm and somewhat cold at first. But he's caring towards his friends
and will do anything to keep them safe.
He has an extreme love for his family. It's stronger than Oleg and Stacy's love for Krus
(I'm just using this as an example.)
Has a messed up sense of humor, but he doesn't care.
Is probably the most fine with
Has a strong sense of what's right or wrong. He knows damn well when evil is around
him.
It is canon, he's friends with Patrick. As well as Rylan, Dakota and Heller.
Hates the Dark God cult and its deity for being cruel to Lucas for being a pest. He tries
to stop them every time he can.
Doesn't have or remember a last name.
Is born somewhere in 2006. So he's 16 in 2023.
His dad's missing…
Hates Randall for working for the cult despite Randall not hating him back.
Lies to people about his life because he knows people aren't going to believe him!
Dislikes the police and will roast them occasionally (except for Tony. Joe and Tony are
chill.)
Usually wears long sleeve shirts, short sleeves or just a hoodie.
Is autistic and MAY have ADHD?!
Oleg:

Oleg knows a lot about Joe due to Tony and Krus investigating the Dark God case.
Oleg trys to make Joe tell him the truth. But Joe doesn't because he's not an idiot.
Joe doesn't care or complain about Oleg's HSP. He just views it as another thing that
exists.
Oleg better not say anything about Lucas in a negative context because Joe WILL kick
his ass if he did so.
Patrick thinks Joe's life is lit af. But it leaves Oleg terrified.
"Why… is there a demon in the bathroom of your highschool?"
"Beats me. Seen weirder."
Joe doesn't care if one of his jokes offend Oleg. Or anyone for that matter.
He found out that Sarvs a demon but Oleg convinced him not to kill her!
Oleg understands that Joe hates his stepdad. Nobody likes him anyway besides
members of his cult.

Stacy:

They're relationship is kinda rocky.

Joe thinks she's annoying for some reason. But he doesn't go out of his way to get under
her skin.
If Stacy says he then Joe will roast her back with zero remorse. And he does it so
calmly that it's considered a war crime.
"Why are you so nonchalant about insulting my mom?"
"Bitch shut your fuckin' mouth. Who the hell knows your mom anyway? Because I
don't know anything about your family!"
He tells Patrick not to talk to her or Oleg because he thinks they want to be left alone.
And he respects that.
"Honestly I'd rather have Randall beat my ass then listen to another syllable coming out
Stacy's mouth. But I know better than to make it a part of my everyday life. Already
have other stuff to deal with."
 Sh#tty Oleg x Tony head canons.
Chapter Summary

Don't ask me why man... I just thought that this would make sense. Because I love Oleg
for some reason and Queer, if you're reading this. Then let me tell you that this
characters amazing and him with Tony just makes sense.

GUY'S! THE HSP DUDE'S DATING THE WEIRD ASS COP! LMAO they're GAY! Wait, it's
actually cute AF!

Both are wholesome af. They snuggle all the Goddamn time!
Oleg always cooks while Tony goes to work.
Tony always gets nervous when he tells Oleg about his job. He feels like his boyfriend
would cry himself if he did. Tony's just a caring guy lmao.
Tony always hangs out with Oleg and is the sweetest person to him. Despite Wilson
calling them homophobic slurs!
Oleg's confused about Tony getting memories ten years before his birth.
Oleg hates Wilson for a reason. And Tony agrees!
Tony would totally try to convince Oleg to adopt a child with him. Preferably a boy.
"Hey Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you want to grow old with me?"
"Why not?"
Tony goes out of his way to show how much he loves Oleg.
To this day. Tony doesn't understand why Oleg's related to the Greek Gods. And he
finds it concerning.
Oleg kisses Tony all the time LMAO.
 Random facts about Planktos
Chapter Summary

HEYO everyone! I'm here to tell y'all that I'm almost done with Halfway House! I just
need to write the big climax and I'll be done. So I might as well share random facts
about the innocent victim who got killed by Ares...

And that's poor ol Planktos...

"When will this war ever end?" - Planktos

Is some random Greek boy in the ancient times. He doesn't really talk about it though.
Was killed by Ares and Circe. As well as Apollo in order to stop the Greeks from
taking over Troy. Apparently his father's a well infamous soldier who kills Trojans
easily.
He is six years old. But acts more mature over his age. His personality is rather quiet
and collected. Not causing a ruckus and doing what he's told. But he was, and always
will be a target for the God's.
He's not close to his parents at all. The closest parental bond he ever had was some
strange man who was mute and enjoyed killing people. But he was rather sweet and
loved him like he was his child.
He was one of the very few people that The Butcher actually cared about. His death
actually had a negative effect on this abomination.
He wanders a lot. Like he does it a lot. He's known for being out there for days and
coming back dead in the night when everyone is asleep. (He just hung out with Artemis
and that strange loving mute guy.)
Has been in many weird time travel BS before. And he treated it fairly normally.

Bonus I guess. (Interaction with Queer's OCs.)

Oleg:

He thought he was creepy. Never trusted him.

Unlike other people from the future. Oleg was the most scary according to Planktos.
And his crying terrified him.
 He never understood why Oleg didn't like that tall mute merc who was Planktos' dad by
this point.
Planktos shot Oleg with an arrow once and ran off.

Stacy:

She was a force of evil in Planktos' eyes. He thought she's the Goddess of evil and
chaos. And he didn't even acknowledge her.
He one time saw this weird teenager call her cornflakes. And he doesn't understand
that. What were cornflakes? Some type of food?
His surrogate mute Mercenary father told him that she was weird and should be
avoided. So Planktos listened.
He doesn't agree with her opinions on Zeus. Zeus was never a bad person in his mind.
Zeus was just trying to help.
 What If The Postal Dude was in His Woes and His Families
Love?: Intro
Chapter Summary

This is some quick weird little intro to a weird remix of Queer's works. I need to write
some more HCs because I do not know if I can work on anything else today. So yeah...
Enjoy this madness!

The fanfiction series His Woes and His Families Love is a very interesting fic to say the least.
It is a unique piece of AO3 fanfiction that brings us the weird mental health issues of Krus
and his family. Especially after the fact that they're related to the Greek Gods and Zeus was
kinda suspicious.

It's a very interesting piece of fanfiction, especially with the original characters in the series
(Oleg and Stacy.) Being written fairly well and overall unique characters. And sure, it may
not be for everyone. But it's amazing overall.

Which leads me to the man that I'll be bringing into this mess itself. And that's the main
protagonist of the infamous controversial video game series known as Postal himself. The
Postal Dude. A sadistic yet unique psychopath with the cynical charisma to make the series
distastefully interesting.

His overall personality and casual approach to violence is rather interesting and improves the
irony that the Postal franchise is all about. So what if these two got combined into one? What
if the well known and most violent video game character was in His Woes and Families
Love? What if this insane guy gets involved in Krus' already insane life? What if the Postal
Dude… was in His Woes and Family's Love?!
 Oleg head canons.
Chapter Summary

Okay so good ol' Queer dared me to do this. So guess what? Along with me expanding
on two concepts in one story I'm making for PLM. You're getting my HCs for your OCs!
I'm doing Oleg first because I just like him more than Stacy. He has more fun stuff to
write about. Anyways enjoy! And remember: FUCK APOLLO! ME AND MY
HOMIES HATE APOLLO! (Just had to get it out of my system.)

Is super sensitive for no reason. That scene from Up made him sad af.
He is very supportive of the cops because of being friends with a certain Lieutenant
from the MVPD being friends with him.
He drinks way too much Starbucks to be considered normal.
Has experienced being shot, thrown off a cliff, being excommunicated and disowned
and being cut by a chainsaw. Making him broken af.
He once did his usual go away thing with the force field against Jerry because Jerry told
him who to love or something. But then Jerry just didn't talk to him for two years
straight and it messed up his mental health (don't worry, they got back together!)
He saw Joe shoot Randall dead one time and got traumatized completely. Unaware that
Randall can't really die.
If the Walker/ McGee or Magee family disowned him or never spoke to him. It'll be
like Krus 2.0
To this day. Not one person was so hateful to him more than Marshall for some reason.
Hell, even The Butcher was more kind.
He once had a big argument with Patrick and then Patrick never talked to him again
(this happened WAY after the events of both mine and Queer's canon. Because Pat was
in his early twenties at the time.) And Pat still never acknowledges his existence.
He loves Apollo despite the fact he killed children (I don't understand why Queer didn't
make that canon because it's accurate to the mythology but I digress.)
Gets called a soyboy a lot despite the fact that he never drank soy. And I assume he
hates soy.
He and Apollo would be terrible fathers because every Greek God is a terrible father.
Has had other exes all over the years. And they were all killed. Just like Hillbilly
McGee's!
Speaking of which. Hillbilly McGee taught him how to break a man's arm when he was
only six. Yet he never used it because he's a pacifist. Which is stupid in the eyes of
many people.
He hates that everyone who hates Apollo doesn't talk or say positive things about him
(except for Hillbilly because he's a very empathetic man.)
He can't convince Patrick to not cuss. It's God damn impossible. And he's always told
to argue with George Washington's corpse over it.
He and Hyacinthus hang out with Tony because why not? They just drink some beer
and hang out while talking about stuff.
I mean…. If Apollo died or dumped him. He'd probably take it rough but still move on.
Oleg is a solid patriot because of McGee!
 Random Facts about Randall.
Chapter Summary

Well everyone. I am back and since I'm planning to write more Madness Saga stuff
soon. Here's another addition in the random facts series. This time it's about everyone's
favorite cultist... Randall himself.

"Joe, you are so ignorant sometimes! It's rather charming to me!" - Randall (The Dark God
Rewritten.)

Is a 6 '5 tall high schooler. Making him way taller than Joe who's only like six feet or
six foot one.
Is a calm yet sadistic high schooler. He enjoys hurting people his boss tells him too.
And he can contain his bloodlust more than the others.
He works for the Dark God cult to the point that he MAY get paid to do it!
Is the most loyal person you'll see. He never hated Joe and only did it because he
thought it was discipline. And he still supports the fellowship of the Dark God as much
as he could.
He could be an arsehole sometimes. Usually laughing and taunting at his enemies or at
Joe and Dakota.
Has a fairly close relationship to Wilson. And he thinks he's the next Jesus.
He has a metal bat and enjoys bashing people's skull in with.
Hates what the Dark God views as scum. That's why he despites Lucas.
Is pretty close friends with Patrick despite him being forced to make an attempt on his
life by his boss.
Is technically immortal because of what the Dark God did to him. But he also traded
that off with a part of his morals.
He is some ginger guy with a trenchcoat. But he wore a hoodie before the events of the
Dark God Rewritten.
Used to be friends with Dakota before the events of Dark God Rewritten.
Is the one of the calmest people in his school. Despite his insane actions.
According to Joe, "Randall is a sadistic bastard with the anger and will to kill anyone or
anything for even thinking about how bad his little cult was. And I don't know how he
isn't expelled for what he did."

Bonus I guess: (Interaction with Queer's OCs.)

Oleg:

He constantly tries to convince him to join the Dark God's fellowship.

Oleg doesn't know if Randall was even there during the events of Flesh into Gear. And
Randall doesn't remember what happened.
He understands that Oleg has HSP but doesn't understand why Oleg hates it when he
kills someone!
Randall actually ships Oleg with Apollo! As well as Krus and Rsch.
"Look Oleg. I don't give two shits about what happened. Please join the fellowship.
You hate Zeus as much as my boss. So why not join?"
They never argue. At all, so that's cool.
He and Oleg talk about music. And Randall's taste is way better than Oleg's. (Randall is
a metal head. Just like Joe.)
Randall one time beat the shit of Selever because Selever tried to 'attack' Patrick and his
younger brother. And Oleg freaked out.

Stacy:

She has seen Randall clash with Lucas and Joe many times. And she can say it's
extremely violent.
Randall reminds Stacy of Franklin in the way of their violence. The only difference is
that Randall showed more enjoyment in it.
When Randall turned twenty. He visited Stacy and gave her a bunch of gifts because his
boss told him to for some reason.
Also tries to convince her about joining the fellowship.
She saw him get killed by Joe so many times that it's mind boggling.
"Oh hello son of Krus. I know my boss has done some things to do with him when Zeus
is neutralized. And he wants you to join him! So please do so! We only want to
promote peace!"
She was confused about his involvement in the events of Long Way Home.
 Stacy Head canons.
Chapter Summary

Okay I finally got Stacy done and DAMN I'm proud of them... Also, I'm STILL
WAITING FOR QUEER'S HCS FOR PATRICK! WE NEED IT! ESPECIALLY IF IT
HAS RUV J IN IT TOO! Anyways enjoy! And uhh SPOOKY MONTH?!

"Best rainbow corn flake mother CONFIRMED!?" - My mind whenever I think about Stacy.

Is a very sweet human being imaginable while being tomboy like. She'll be person who
would hug anyone for existing.
Is like Patrick in a way where she LOVES SWEETS!
She cuddles her adopted son to sleep. And she does that with him everyday.
She is manly af because Hillbilly McGee was an influence on her life. And she
eventually grew a love of guns (not in a warfare prescriptive. More of a collectable
prescriptive.)
She's always been confused on why people associate her with cornflakes. She didn't
even like CORNFLAKES! FROOT LOOPS ALL THE WAY!
Her parenting techniques don't really work on her adopted son Franklin but he listens to
her anyway because he loves her.
She's a history nerd like Patrick and Hillbilly. But SOMEHOW DIDN'T KNOW JOHN
BROWN!
She was traumatized after hearing the terms 'Krusussy' and the 'BRC'.
She's the biggest fan of Ruv being Patrick's surrogate father. It's amazing to her.
Blame Hillbilly McGee for making her addicted to cuddles because he cuddled her a lot
(he's that close to her. He's like Krus 2.0.
She is compared to Artemis and Athena because they're also extremely motherly AF.
Jerry taught her how to break a man's legs because he and her both love Oleg.
Speaking of which, she cuddles with Oleg at least once a week when they were
teenagers.
Is also very patriotic because of Krus and Hillbilly.
She fully loves the relationship Jerry has with Oleg.
 Ruv Dad and Pat Son Head canons I guess.
Chapter Summary

(Yeah this is the actual title. I just really wanted to do this. Anyways, ENJOY!)

"RUV'S THE GREATEST PERSON EVER! HE'S SUPER NICE AND SMELLS LIKE
OREOS!" - Patrick's opinion on Ruv in a nutshell.

They're Both extremely different yet get along well.

Patrick thinks he's retarded because he's autistic. But Ruv doesn't like that because he
fully believes that Patrick is his son and is special af.
Patrick sits on Ruv's lap sometimes and Ruv doesn't care about it. He sometimes rests
his chin on his head.
Patrick thinks Ruv smells like Oreos, is warm AF, and is the exact opposite of what he
actually is IRL.
Ruv is super clingy towards his surrogate son. Being the type of person that would not
let Patrick leave the church late at night or cuddling with him everyday.
Patrick and Ruv cuddle all the time for some reason. Even if Pat's an adult he'll still
cuddle with Ruv.
Ruv and Patrick always hang out at Christmas with everyone. And it's a very nice time
every year!
Patrick and Ruv talk to each other all the time about US history and Breaking Bad
among other things. And they can talk for hours among hours straight.
Ruv would rather cuddle with Patrick than Sarv (his own wife.)
Ruv is the only person Patrick ever vents to besides Pico, Nene, Butcher and GF.
Ruv just likes how Patrick hangs out with him all the time. It's cute!
"RUV LOOK!"
"What is it?"
"I just got a laser fork!"
"Oh… cool!"
Both of them go to Arby's on the weekends…
Ruv likes to pick Patrick up like a baby and that confuses the hell out of Patrick.
Patrick and Ruv kinda just bring the best out of each other.
Ruv and Patrick both like chicken and eat it all the time.
Patrick has been close to Ruv since they were five years old. And they're relationship is
the most strong and closest out of all of them.
 Random Facts about Kyong 'Grandma Min' McGee.
Chapter Summary

Ok everyone. Since I'm getting the whole Walker McGee family. And I might as well
post the most interesting minor one. And that's Hillbilly McGee's ex wife: Kyong
MaGee. The belligerent Christian.

“Hello my grandchildren! How's school sweeties?” - Kyong MaGee when she sees her
grandkids!

Is a Korean immigrant who moved to America because of her ex husband. She has been
patriotic ever since.
Used to have a traditional loving housewife personality until she divorced Hillbilly
McGee. She's now professional and burnt out, sometimes a little cold. But she still
loves her children.
Is very Christian and fully takes scripture very seriously. And she believes beings like
the Gods or The Butcher are demons.
Is fairly short standing at 5'5. But she has a fierce personality that scares even The
Butcher himself.
Was born on October 15th, 1956. And has experienced many hard times in Korea at the
time. From communism to people disrespecting Jesus.
After the divorce they hate each other for some reason. And she thinks Hillbilly is
nothing but a sinner.
She doesn't celebrate Christmas and Halloween. But she still visits her daughter
anyway.
She and her son never had the healthiest relationship. They always had arguments all
the time and rarely agreed on anything. And it was only worse after the divorce.
She never cusses ever. She scolds people for doing so.
She spoils and loves her grandchildren with a passion. But also thinks that Pat is
possessed by a demon.
She wears glasses and turtlenecks. As well as the usual tee shirts and heavy jackets.
Her last name was Min before getting married. Never drank, smoked or did drugs.
Was baptized in Jehovah's Witnesses.
Unlike Harold, she doesn't try to cause conflict. Because it was against what she stood
for.

BONUS!! (INTERACTIONS WITH QUEER'S OCS.)

Oleg:

She never cared much about him. But she tried to be civil since Hillbilly treated him
like his son.
She became hateful when she found out that he's dating Apollo. And she gave him
several Bibles to tell him to date a woman.
Has seen the arguments she had with Jerry (her son) and it broke his heart the most. It
didn't help that Jerry said he'll never love her.
Oleg (just like Patrick) sees the best in her though. And firmly believes that there's
good in her.
His brother doesn't like her though because she hates his wife and son. And it makes
Oleg sad…
Is a master cook. Especially Korean food.
Questions why she joined Jehovah's Witnesses.

Stacy:

Her relationship with her is like Jerry's but with more insults and yelling.
She doesn't understand why Kyong was so traditional that she puts it over people close
to her.
She and Jerry literally gang up on her in arguments. Making everything worse.
“You know it's wrong to let demons in your house, y'know that?”
“But they're family! Not demons!”
“No Stacy, the Bible clearly states that demons are evil and try to fool you. The Greek
Gods are false idols.”
“There's a reason why Jerry hates you.”
She was heartbroken during the divorce…
It's always awkward when she arrives at Thanksgiving or Christmas. It always leads to
an argument.
She still doesn't get why Kyong likes Nene…
 Rejection
Chapter Summary

Hillbilly McGee was always obsessed with Krus for what felt like an entirety. And he
had no choice... He had to take care of the slave owning witch Krus called a 'lover.'

Chapter Notes

Yes... This was inspired by another drabble about Hillbilly McGee being a yandere by
Queer. So go check them out. Anyways, enjoy y'all!

Hillbilly McGee sat down in the basement he called home. Not even aware that Krus was
crying his eyes out and Rsch was tied up. Cursing her mouth off and overall acting like a
fuckin' cunt.

He expected much, fuckin' slave-owning bitch killed an innocent child. And not only that, his
love, Krus is affected by this. He's been manipulated by her since forever. He could have
sworn the monster manipulated him. Due to how much pain he was always in. Or at least the
problem was Zeus. He didn't know so far. He was only concerned about the things he had to
do.

The basement below his house was all he expected it to be. Old, filled with dusty boxes filled
with crap. A collection of old paintings he got from his father many years ago in 1867. Hell,
even a few photos of his family before his bitch of a wife divorced him. This was getting
super hard for him to not bawl out in sadness.

“MaGee! You don't have to do this!” Krus said, tears running through his eyes and his hands
grasped against the ropes. Why did Hillbilly McGee even tie up Krus's arms? This was
probably the worst thing Hillbilly ever thought of. Why, why did he do this? He was
supposed to be a freedom fighter who fought the enemies of the US. He stopped the
Confederates, the Nazis and killed too many monsters to count. “Please DON'T HURT HER!
Please… I need you to stop this… Please, I beg of you! I know you're a good person! Just
don't do this. PLEASE!"
McGee sighed, the man feeling like he shouldn't have done this. Krusveto was a man whom
he loved very much, they both served in Korea together, and killed commies together. They
did everything together. So why was he even thinking?

He knew he had to do some damage control, the giant eight-foot-ten man got up, hands
firmly grasped on the pickaxe and pistol in his hands. The immortal veteran's voice was as
soft as he could.

"Hold on Krus," he said in a deep southern drawl, Rsch stared daggers into McGee's face as
he looked at Krus. Who was sitting on the ground, sobbing his heart out? "I wouldn't do this
without a good reason, believe me, I-" He almost broke down yet again while he said this.
Rsch trying to say something. "Rsch is a slave owner. I found a few African American
children working in her attic."

Krus shook his head. "No, McGee NO! She only wanted to make us some extra cash! She
said we had no choice! You gotta believe me, McGee! PLEASE!" Krus yelled out, tears
flowing more and more. He didn't want this to happen. He was so… so hurt by this. McGee
could tell easily, he should have known. He should have FUCKING KNOWN. "Please, give
her a chance to forgive her! I love Rsch, she's been my girlfriend for years. You can’t do this!
"

That was it, the straw that broke the camel's back. It didn't help that a being of pure wrath and
malice stood behind them. A 7' 5 blonde monstrosity with spiders coming out of his opened
wounds. A hatchet in his hands, he sees the carnage beginning to take place.

"OH COME ON Hillbilly, I thought you had the guts… Just kill her already. I fought
you long enough to expect better!"

Hilliard ignored the thing and simply threw the pickaxe at Rsch. Before she even had the
chance to scream, her brains got smashed in. Causing the abomination to laugh at the top of
his lungs. Hillbilly McGee ignored him, planning to find some way to kill him soon. But that
had to wait.

Krus began to shake around. His voice filled with sadness as he said "NO! NOT HER!
HILLBILLY NOOOOOO! HOW COULD YOU-"

The giant redneck only took some steps towards him and sat down. Krus was heartbroken,
this was a complete nightmare that he couldn't escape. His oldest and most loyal friend just
murdered his lover with a fuckin' pickaxe.
Hillbilly McGee felt his whole soul die as soon as he saw this. His future boyfriend, his lover,
the reason why he even cared besides his grandchildren and his only living son was hurting.
He couldn't take this anymore. He began to sob, his long hair and short beard feeling moist as
he opened his arms. He hated himself, but he was no pussy. He had to do what he did best
besides going to war. Comforting his loved ones.

He gently grabbed Krus and put him on his lap. Wrapping his arms around his love, the
crying Krus widened his eyes, noticing that he still cared at least. At least Hillbilly McGee,
his comrade at least didn't murder him. He noticed a pair of gigantic arms wrapped around
him in a vice grip, but it was still soft somehow…

“Krus… I love you!” Hillbilly McGee said in an obsessive tone. his face grew a little red, but
he was still sobbing like a baby. “I can't hide it anymore. I have loved you ever since Kyong
divorced me! You were handsome and honorable. And I couldn't let you get hurt.~ Period!
And I was going to let Rsch have you. But then she did… that. I couldn't let her corrupt you
like that.”

MaGee gave him a smooch on the top of Krus' head. His grasp is gentle and comforting,
stroking his hair. Krus only leaned on him, confused with grief and despair. Only wanted to
be loved, and this man who killed Rsch offered him that in some morbid way… So when
McGee cuts the binding ropes, he hugs back and says “I… love you too McGee.” While
continuing to cry. Accepting his new lover, his true lover. Letting the redneck cuddle and kiss
him for a while.

The thing chuckled in the background. As he pulled out a shotgun and cocking it. Looks like
this was his time to shine…

Many hours later. Patrick landed face-first out of nowhere along with BF. BF adopted the
teenager months ago after his parents died. And after that weird dimension visit. They needed
a break.

“Oww!” Patrick said, feeling his head hurt. “This absolutely blows!”

“Yeah, man,” BF said, getting up, apparently they were now in Patrick's grandpa's basement.
The rapper looked around as he tried to sit up. “I think we're going to- OH SHIT?”

“What is it BF? This ain't like breaking ba- GRANDPA?”

They both looked shocked. Patrick almost cried as BF pulled out a phone immediately. As
they saw the morbid scene in front of them…

The End.
 Nene and Patrick head canons I guess.
Chapter Summary

Honestly Nene is underrated AF. And since I think she NEEDS to be something besides
suicidal girl who's attractive, here's some HCs with her and Patrick because it's adorable
lmao.

“I still don't get why Nene’s always thinking that Pat is her son. I know they're close but
where is she getting that from?”

For some reason, both managed to get along. Despite the fact that she kills people and
Pat is against that.
Nene is super sweet towards Patrick. She calls him a little guy despite him being way
taller than her! And Patrick didn't even understand why she says that.
Nene is overprotective of him and Patrick doesn't understand that either because he's
generally overprotective of everyone, her included.
“GUY'S DON'T MESS WITH ME! I HAVE A CRAZY STABBY WOMAN AND I'M
NOT AFRAID TO LET HER GO POSTAL ON YOU!”
They watch Godzilla movies for some reason. And they ENJOY IT together.
She is a very weird mother figure to Patrick. Since she literally spoils him, as well as
hugging him all the time.
The only reason why she's not full on giving her platonic kisses like GF is because she
believes in boundaries in certain areas. And she tells Patrick that all the time.
Patrick is extremely protective of her as well as other people since he's taller than many
people. He'll literally sacrifice himself to make sure they're alright.
But Nene isn't a big fan of protective Patrick. She thinks she should be the one
protecting him!
“Here you go little guy! I bought Swedish fish!”
“SWEET! Wait, but I'm not little!”
“You'll always be a little guy to me, Pat. That's your nickname from me!”
“That's not how it works…”
They both have a big SpongeBob addiction and watch it at least once when they hang
out.
Nene lets Patrick pick her up like Simba from the lion king (he does that to Pico, GF &
BF as well.) And it makes her laugh.
Speaking of which, Pat makes Nene laugh all the time. It makes her feel super better.
Both of them do self harm but they don't like each other doing such…
She calls Marie (Patrick's real mother.) A fake mother for some reason. She thinks she
is the REAL MOTHER (surrogate mother though.)
 The Butcher and Rasazy head canons.
Chapter Summary

I was originally going to make The Butcher a pure evil horror who only wants suffering.
But then I got an idea from Queer... Where Rasazy is close to him confirmed?!

“Hey sweetie, I'm happy I get to visit you. I know that your family may not like me. But I
don't care, you're my daughter. They don't matter. You do! So please visit me sometime
okay? I love you sweet pea, please visit your father, you call a cat sometime.” - The Butcher
telling his child how much he loves her I guess.

This weird relationship started when Butcher saved Rasazy's cat!

The Butcher (despite being a lovecraftian monstrosity.) Love's Rasazy and always finds
a way to spoil her. Via giving her money, letting her hug him while sleeping. Anything,
he'd do for his daughter.
He gives her some life advice. Some good, some bad. But all with the intention of
making Rasazy a better person.
Rasazy calls him kitty and it makes him confused and kinda uncomfortable? But he
understands, she's just being affectionate.
The Butcher officially hates any people sexualizing him with Rasazy. And will torture
people who dare do so.
The Butcher doesn't think Rasazy is related to the Greek pantheon (his enemies.) By
heart, and thinks it's only a cosmic mess up that she's blood related to them.
The Butcher likes petting his daughters head and sometimes kisses the top of it. (Just to
show that she's his daughter and he loves her.)
He's extremely gentle with her. He literally is scared that someone may kill her by
hitting her too hard.
He swears to God that he'll kill Selever if he insults his DAUGHTER ONE MORE
TIME!
Rasazy is not aware that Butcher views her as his daughter. Despite him at least
mentioning it at least once.
Like Patrick, Rasazy is nice to this lovecraftian monstrosity and hangs out with him a
lot. She does it more than some of her friends sometimes.
They watched all of Breaking Bad together just to understand the references Patrick
makes all the time.
Butcher actively picks Rasazy up like a little child and brings her everywhere no matter
if he's drenched in blood or not.
Rasazy gives Butcher her cat to pet all the time.
She and Krus are probably the reason why the church family wasn't full on KILLED by
The Butcher.
The Butcher gave Rasazy twice as much thanksgiving food and Christmas presents then
everyone else for some reason.
The Butcher literally wakes up at one in the morning and Rasazy thinks it's weird.
The Butcher likes rocking his child to sleep. It makes him happy besides murdering
people.
Rasazy now love's guns due to the Butcher. As well as knives and axes.
“HEY KITTY! You want to help me make food for the family!”
“Sure thing sweet pea. But I need to whack some guy first. But I'll be there as soon
as I can. Marty told me that vampire guts taste good. Maybe we should try that?”
“No kitty, just focus on making that chicken pizza you make okay? That's the best!”
They eat at KFC all the time despite Rasazy being picky.
The Butcher barely sleeps and has a hard time doing so. Unless his daughter was in his
arms (he just likes protecting her everyday 24/7)
 The street conflict.
Chapter Summary

Patrick and Frank get themselves into the weirdest encounter ever... This time with more
drama!

(A snippet for The Greatest Trio Ever. Because I love Butcher and Rasazy's relationship
lmao.)

Two A.M. A random street in Mount Vernon.

The dark, cold sky of Mount Vernon makes the scene perfect for the gruesome scene in front
of Patrick. His eyes widened as Franklin started to shoot the being down yet again. Tentacles
came out of the tall blonde haired ‘man’ in front of them. Spiders crawled out of the man's
damaged face as he aimed his shotgun at the runaway.

Patrick raised an eyebrow at all of them. Seemingly a little surprised that the horror in front
of him killed so many people and STILL not killed him is surprising. Maybe they got along
well. Who knows?

Franklin gritted his teeth, hatred beaming from his stoic face. He fires another round. It hits
the skull of the thing. His will of course was never broken by this.

“Perish fiend!” He yelled, his voice colder than Antarctica. “You will be vanquished or so
help me God I will bury you myself!”

“Don't you stop being such an emo boy at least once for five seconds! I won't be surprised if
you wear black and listen to my chemical romance!” Patrick shouted, before looking at the
thing called The Butcher. “SORRY dad. Frank's just like that for some reason. Please don't
blame him for anything okay?”

The thing only laughed a sick twisted laugh.

“Oh don't worry kid,” The Butcher said with a deep, inhuman voice. His smile is only
being hidden by the insides coming out of his complexion. “I know full DAMN well that
people are different. Because they all act unique when they're bleeding!”
He got up and shot Franklin in the mid section. The slug slamming into Frank's chest like
Hulk Hogan to Andre the Giant. He fell down without hesitation and stared up at the sky.
Feeling his blood on the ground. The Butcher only laughed like a maniac. His gun was
pumping as he began to approach.

“Stay dead freak!” he yelled, Patrick quickly ran in between them. Making sure, if any, that
this didn't happen more. Tears were running through his eyes. But he didn't care. “No
wonder why your step dad didn't like you. Ungrateful bitch, I was going to spare you
like the kid. But you had to diss my daughter, did you?”

Franklin coughed up some blood as he saw the horror’s disdain emerge. Yet he still smiled.

“Y-your daughter?” he asked, “You have a daughter!?”

“Of course you little shit!” He yelled, “That's my daughter you insulted! My beautiful
daughter who is perfect in every way. And you slandered her! I'll take joy in turning
your pathetic soul to kibble for Satan's FUCKIN' DOG!”

“JESUS CHRIST DAD NO! HE'S MY FRIEND! HE DIDN'T INSULT YOUR

DAUGHTER!” Pat yelled, trying the best he could to convince the monster that Frank was a
good guy. Sure, he was a jerk. But he was still a friend! “Frank's a dickhead sure! But he
wouldn't insult Rasazy! Rasazy is a kind girl who loves hugs and guns! Please don't do that!
Mighty Butche- I mean father, don't do that! Have mercy!”

Franklin only disappeared as Patrick finished his sentence. His wounds healed as the toga
wearing sun deity appeared in his place.

The Butcher sighed and nodded. Hearing a distant voice say “Hey kitty! What's going on?”

“Fine kid, you make a good argument.” He said, looking behind him and sure enough, his
daughter was there. She seemed confused as Pat cleaned up his tears and waved at her. “I
think that's enough vio- Oh hey Apollo! Looks like you arrived at the wrong place!”

Apollo just widened his eyes and said, “OH GOD NOOO!”

He then teleported away before any of the chaos happened. Confusing all of the three people.

“Well this is confusing!” Patrick said with a confused expression. “This is weirder than that
time GF kissed me on the forehead several times and called me her son!”
“What the fuck?” The Butcher asked.

Rasazy just walked in front of the two. Her look also confused.

“Uhh, GF is like that. I met her once,” Rasazy mumbled. “Also I'm tired. Can we all go
home?”

And so… the weirdest but greatest trio of misfits known to man will go on a bizarre journey
of gore and whatever the hell made Oleg love Apollo.
 Joe's stupid Winter Night.
Chapter Summary

Joe faces the beginning of the weirdness known as the night before Christmas Eve.

(Snippet for the Madness Saga Christmas special.)

The cold air of Mount Vernon hit my face as I stared at the dead wendigo in the snow. I swear
to God, I was tired of these things showing up. Ever since my little closet confrontation, the
flesh eating bastards have shown up everywhere. Mainly in my DAMN house. And it's
getting annoying.

It didn't help that the cold snowy night had officially arrived. Making at least five inches of
snow cover the whole damn town. I think I couldn't see anything besides white to save my
damn life. I sighed and walked towards the nearby steps that led me to the house that I lived
in. I sighed under my breath. Christmas Eve was tomorrow and I still didn't get a chance to
even ENJOY it? What the hell?

I continued to walk, the snow hitting and crushing under my feet. The wendigo corpse was
still behind me as I yawned. I knew for a fact that the dead body of the wendigo wouldn't be
preserved. So I just went back with a groan and a sigh. My tired insomnia filled my eyes.
Looking baggy and all messed up.

“Oh God no,” I said, pulling out that switchblade sword thing Pat gave me that one time.
Followed by somehow finding a trash can not far away to get. So I grabbed it and opened it
up. Followed by the blade opening up. “Looks like I have to do this shit again!”

I proceeded to spend an hour of my time doing the most productive thing I can. Body
disposal. I chopped the beast up with the blade. The snow is being stained by the red fluid as
I wondered why Lucas' species keeps bothering me. It was a simple process to be honest.
Since the wendigos tried to kill me months back. I've quickly gotten used to the feeling and
way of body disposal. In fact I was so good sometimes I managed to take care of this in five
minutes!
After I managed to put the flesh eater into the bag. I walked out to the trashcan in the
backyard and threw it in there. Unknown to me, this wasn't going to be the worst of my night.
Because I will encounter almost everything I know, hated or loved in one night. And it wasn't
going to be good.

The first thing after that happened as soon as I got myself into the front yard. I was almost
there, walking my cheap robe, heavy jacket and pajama covered body walking towards the
front door. Until I saw a random guy in front of me.

He was a normal person for what I know. He looked like he was in his twenties, wearing a
very Greek styled ugly Christmas sweater. His blonde hair and blue eyes reminded me of Tim
before he died in the confrontation with Lucas. A harp in his hands as he looked at me.

“Hello mortal!” The God dude said, seemingly a little bit of a jerk. But I was SUPER tired
when I saw him. So I could be wrong. “You must be Joe! Right? Well nice to meet you! My
name's Apollo! Y'know, Greek God of the Sun and music?”

“What the fuck?” I asked, “Sorry, not trying to be rude here. But I have to get inside my
house. I don't have enough time to talk to you right now!”

“But I'm here to take you for myself mortal! Your life is awful!” Apollo yelled, “Filled with
sin and despair! I've seen what the Dark God did to you! You need to leave! And you need a
father figure besides that pest Wilson!”

I rolled my eyes, this was going to be a long night.

“Buddy, I don't CARE ABOUT YOU right now. I'm tired as hell, I just buried a dead squirrel
and I'm covered in blood like I'm Patrick Bateman! Can I just get into my house? I agree with
you on that piece of scum but can't I please get in my house?”

The God dude raised an eyebrow at me and started to raise the dick card to eleven.

“Oh, be quiet Joe! You are mine to keep!” He said, walking closer to me. “I will raise you
like my child! You need more! My boyfriend needed to have a child to-”

“No dude, I am not going with you! Besides, you're not real!”
The God man simply gasped in pure and unfiltered hatred. Suddenly that harp he had became
a golden bow as he looked at me.

“That's it my child!” He yelled, “I must punish you for your diabo-”

I just pulled out my Walther P38 and unloaded a couple rounds into the God's forehead. For a
supposed Greek God, he sure went down like a sissy! He teleported away and cried a little bit
as he made a sissy sound.

I sighed as I stared at the door. What type of guy just randomly shows up and tries to kidnap
them? I didn't really want to think about it that much. Since I was tired and tomorrow's
important. So I went into the house and groaned.

“Jesus Christ,” I said, “Can't I have some freaking peace for once in my life?”
 Chomo Slayer
Chapter Summary

The Butcher is a sadistic entity. But he HATES pedophiles and now he has to save three
innocent children.

(Snippet for The Time of Our Lives)

The Butcher is a cold nihilistic being of hatred and malice according to everyone around him.
People calling a demon himself, pure evil and enjoying of violence. Seeing him committing
the most brutal types of violence against his targets. An inhuman hitman with the vengeance
of an angry God. A lovecraftian monstrosity from years ago who doesn't care about morals or
the society at large. He only wants bloodshed and seeing his enemies scream in terror.

But what they didn't know was that the Butcher was also a being that's misunderstood. The
abomination only wanted to be human. He only wanted to be like everyone else in a way. But
he knew he was different. His towering nine foot frame, the blonde hair and dead cursed
eyes. The shitty little trench coat and leather jackets he always wore. But he DIDN'T care
about that. The abomination didn't care about what society said, because he had a job to do.
Not only as a hitman, but as a father.

And it all began when he was getting a hit done.It was a cold night in the early 2010’s. The
abomination was standing in front of the usual gore fest. A rich couple were deader than JFK.
Stabbed multiple times all over. They're blood mixing together in some sort of gross lake.
This is where the horror saw the worst thing he could've imagined. Not the dead corpses of
the rich people. They didn't matter to the horror. There was something that made him more…
rageful.

There were three innocent children shaking their boots and crying all over. Two were boys
aged four to five, one of them looked like a demon, while the other looked normal. The other
is an infant girl, a bit even one year old. And the person who was tormenting him… was a
fuckin' MAN!

He looked absolutely disgusting, his beard unkempt. His face filled with acne and overall
pure disgusting energy. He had a knife in his hands which he used to kill the rich adults
bleeding on the floor. The lovecraftian hitman knew that this guy's a chomo by the way he
stared at the children and his creepy tongue licking. It made him sick… Reminded the
lovecraftian monstrosity of Cronos and the Spanish conquistadors like Hernando de Soto who
he slaughtered with their own swords. And by God, this monster will share the same fate.

The Butcher clenched his rifle in his hand. A solid classic Winchester he used to shoot his
targets. And in his mind, this diaper sniper is now granted the unfortunate privilege of being a
target of the thing.

The Butcher cackled dryly, his voice bellowed in a deep and inhuman way. The demon boy
seemed shocked as he heard that. And he was going to runaway until his human friend
prevented him to do so…

The cradle snatcher stopped at his boots as he heard it. His fat, repugnant body turning to
face the tall sadistic being of terror. He almost pissed his pants as the lovecraftian monstrosity
said his peace.

“You think you're such a tough guy, eh little shit?” The Butcher said with a sadistic smile,
cocking the lever and blasting away at the man's shin. The man groaned as the monster
continued his assault. His voice was surprisingly calm and collected. But the pedo clearly
knew that he was furious. “Well you're not you fuckin' chomo! I know full well what you
were going to do to those kids! And I WILL NOT let you do that! Speaking of which,
how about I do you a favor and chop you to nothing but bits!”

The Butcher pulled out a knife. A long, sharp blade the size of a small sword and a half. The
predator immediately threw a knife into the lovecraftian hitmans head. But it didn't work, the
animation simply pulled it out, leading to a tentacle coming out of his head and soon
grabbing him.

This led to an absolute torture session that lasted for hours. The man screamed and screamed.
Begging for mercy as the steel went inside his body and the spiders that came from the
Butcher’s face bit him. The children saw it, all of it. And they were not traumatized
somehow. Knowing that this was important and for their safety.

After a while, the Butcher was covered in blood and gore. He chuckled madly as he heard the
footsteps and mumbling of familiar people. He looked at the children. Relieved yet terrified
that they saw such an incident. The Butcher felt something… off when he saw them. They
were all lonely, they're parents neglectful or dead. He could hear the sobs from all the way
here.
So the lovecraftian monstrosity walked over towards them and picked all of them up gently.
He stared at them with affection in his eyes. He didn't know why… but these children needed
to be raised. And besides… he wanted to raise and love someone for once… He's been killing
so long that he was deprived of people he cares about in his mind.

This single decision. Would change their lives forever. And they didn't know it yet.
 A revelation.
Chapter Summary

The Butcher finds out the truth. But it was the hardest way imaginable

(Snippet for Personal Hell, yes I renamed it.)

The Butcher sat down on the bed, groaning as he stared into the ceiling. The hitman just got
done cleaning up some punk's who thought they could escape their consequences. But as
always, they fell into history just like the rest of his victims.

A man sat on the other side of the room he was in. Reading a book about the civil war and
how it worked out in the Union's favor. After a while, he noticed the abomination and rested
the book on his lap.

“Hey there pal,” he said calmly, tapping on the hardcover of the book. “How's your son? I've
never seen him around for the past week. I know he has some dimension hopping power but
this is worrying me and dad,”

The Butcher sighed, rubbed his eyes with his hand and said, “He's probably in another
dimension. Jerry, you know full well that none of us can control that about him. It's like
trying to control the atmosphere.”

The man across the lovecraftian monstrosity was Jeremy (better known as ‘Jerry’) MaGee (or
McGee.) He was the uncle of the Butcher's adopted son and was still involved with his
nephew's life along with his immortal father and crazy veteran Hillbilly McGee. He was the
person who bought this house with his own money and convinced everyone to have peace. In
fact he's the person who did everything he could to make this easier. But the death of his
mom, then his sister just broke him.

“I know man, but I can't help but just worry about him. He's my nephew damn it!” He said,
still calm but a bit more passionate. “I wonder when Dad will come back from his drunken
slumber. He still hasn't moved on from the-”
“We're not going down that path… I thought we agreed to never talk about it again!”
Said the thing, as he grabbed the local water bottle and guzzled it up. It wasn't a hostile thing
he said, rather a cold reminder. “I just can't right now. I just found out that the demon
hag is teaching my daughter cult shit she doesn't even like. She needs a true mother and
father. Not the zealots who only want po-”

“I thought we were not talking about that either!” Jerry interrupted, he sounded very irritated
whenever the hitman mentioned this. “Just move on already man! Sarvente and Ruv adopted
Sarah before you! I know it was pointless that they threatened court action, I admit it. But
that happened a decade ago and you still get to see her along with the Selever and Rasazy. So
why the honest hell are you complaining about?”

The Butcher sighed and checked the time on his shitty little watch. It's almost midnight. He
sighed and looked at Jerry for one last time of the night. Feeling a little pissed, he knew Jerry
had a point.

“Whatever man, you have a point,” Was all he could say before a fourteen year old kid
reappeared from a separate dimension and landed on the Butcher's lap along with a familiar
Asian Mercenary. It surprised the Butcher a little bit. But not that much, he's seen it before.

The teenager groaned and slightly got up. The Merc did the same thing and moved out of the
way, dusting herself off. They looked like they didn't bring anything from the dimension they
came from (thank God.) And in fact, they seemed happy.

The teenager got up and looked around before gasping dramatically and saying in a joyful
tone: “Hey Dad! I've just got back from that weird dinosaur dimension again! And I didn't
bring anything weird this time! Isn't that good?!”

The Butcher immediately hugged the kid tightly in his arms. His mood feeling a lot better
than previously.

“Hey Patrick,” he said with a slight chuckle, patting his son's head. “It's nice to see you
and Nene again my son. You're safe right?”

“Yes dad, I’m okay! But someone made the dinosaurs Nazis for some reason. Really freaky
stuff,” Pat replied.

This was the usual conversation between the two of them. Ever since the lovecraftian horror
adopted Patrick, Jerry's nephew and Hillbilly's grandson. He taught him many things and
brought him along to his job. Patrick was an expert shooter and axeman like his adopted
father, along with other important things he needed to know as the Butcher's child.

Patrick was also a massive goofball. And everyone loved that part of him for some reason.

The woman got up with a smile and a twirl of her knife, brushing her black hair away and
waving at Jerry before turning her head and saying: “Yep! He shot an Allosaurus dead in the
eyes! He's totally our son!”

Patrick frowned at that, “Not funny Nene! I only did that in self defense! I hate killing
animals and people!” He said in a sad tone.

Nene simply chuckled and looked at him with a smirk. “Come on Pat. You're dad's the
deadliest hitman in the country! If not the world! And I'm basically your mom as well! You
shouldn't be worrying about the values of human life!”

Nene was one of the deadliest mercenaries the Butcher even knew. She alongside her friends
Darnell and Pico have killed almost everything that breathed in Philly and Mount Vernon.
And since then, she's been in Patrick's life since he was five. And the Butcher loved her as
family and thought she'd be the best mother figure they could get for Patrick.

Jerry scoffed and chuckled alongside everyone else. “Come on guys, if Pat doesn't like killing
things then we should respect that!” Jerry said, “Besides that, it's good to have you back Pat.
You too Nene!”

“No problem,” Nene replied.

The Butcher smiled widely, still hugging his son. But after a while, he just tried to make him
let go.

“Okay kiddo, you look really tired, how about you go get ready for bed? School is
tomorrow and I have some errands to do.”

“But Dad, I want to keep hugging you! Please? I beg of thy!”

“Not right now kid, you can go and hug someone else alright?”

Pat sighed. “Okay Dad, I'll get ready for bed. It's late after all.”

Patrick then let go and left along with Nene. Leaving Jerry and The Butcher alone again.
Jerry sighed and got up, wondering why he had to tell him this. But either way, he had to
explain this to the man in front of him.

“I also got some news for ya,” Jerry said. “Remember Krusveto and Rschvania? Y'know,
those two people you and dad greatly respect?”

The Butcher widened his eyes and nodded at him. “Yeah, why Jerry?”

Jerry took a deep breath, he didn't want to tell him this. But he had too.

“Sarvente raised them from the dead. She literally resurrected them for some fuckin' reason.
Despite the fact that they should have been left alone in heaven,” Jerry said, giving hand
expressions while saying this. “Not only that, they're introducing themselves to Sel and Ras
and Sarah…”

“OH REALLY?” Yelled Hillbilly McGee suddenly, “I better visit them then! This is super
important!”

The Butcher only clenched his fist and started shaking. His face turned into a rageful look as
he stared at Jerry. Out of all the disrespectful things that demonic hag decided to do. She now
was treating nature like it was nothing? How dare she?

“... Are you kidding me?”

“No dude, I ain't joking!”

“Oh God dammit,” was all the Butcher said. “Looks like someone has to pay them a little
visit!”
 The Fated Attack.
Chapter Summary

Ruv and his family thought they were having a good time. But unknown to them. They'll
be forced to visit another world. Another strange... Bizarre world.

“I don’t get it Ruv!” Rschvania said, a little confused. She and her son Ruv, along with Ruv’s
wife and children. Ruv never really liked his parents. He thought they were neglectful
monsters and that never cared for him at least once. But he listened anyway as the five of
them waited for Krus. “Have you seen your father? I swear to God I haven't seen him
anywhere.”

Ruv only shrugged, “I don't know whatsoever mom. I feel like he should have been getting
done with grocery shopping by now. Is it because of the recent snow storm or something?”

“Maybe it's because you're a little bi-” Selever, the foul mouthed son of Ruv and his wife
Sarvente tried to say something but was interrupted by Rasazy, his younger sister.

“LANGUAGE Sel! I didn't like you doing that!”

Selever moved his chair towards the other side. His eyebrows raised a bit. The half demon
had a hunch. A very big hunch about something. He didn't know why. But he swore that
something weird was going on and that no one else was noticing it. He could have felt some
sort of shaking below the ground as he heard his mother say, “Sweetie what's wrong? Did
you just see something or?”

“He's probably being a little brat again,” Ruv said bluntly, the man scratched his head and
wondered when his father would come back with the milk and cheese. “I honestly feel like
it's alright Sarv. Sometimes kids are like tha-”

Suddenly another bang of light that was seen millions of times by others around the earth was
back to haunt another innocent victim. It blinded all five of the family members as they
experienced it for a minute. And soon enough. Like the members of Grantville and the
maximum security prison in Illinois. They were sent all the way back in time. They didn't
know what fated craziness was sealed for them. And to make it worse, they will never see
Krusveto again. And that the new world coming to them would be null and void and lacking
of Krus.
 Random Facts about Sarah Walker
Chapter Summary

Okay since I have a lot of crap on my plate. I decided to write the random facts about
Sarah Walker because Queer's gonna chop my balls off of I don't. So yeah! Enjoy y'all!

“Looks like I found the evidence! Time to crack this case once and for all!” - Sarah Walker

Is a twelve year old amateur deactive and is addicted to anything mystery related.
She's very calm, professional and blunt sometimes. She's the most down to Earth out of
the three Walker children.
She's always nice to Patrick since Patrick is always nice to her. She's closer to him than
Marshall sometimes.
She and Frank have a conflicting relationship. Both of them have different opinions on
the law or other things.
She inherited her physical appearance from Jerry.
She was traumatized when she found out Patrick was forced to visit dimensions once a
month and has nightmares about it. But she learned to get used to it.
At first she didn't want to give Frank a chance. But Patrick always convinced her to like
people no matter what.
She wears stuff you see from Sherlock Holmes.
Her personality is just very professional and caring. She helped her mom out with
everything along with her grandma.
She respects the police despite her family not caring about the po po at all.
She's been in investigations several times with her brother, Tony, Joe and hell, she and
Artemis joined forces to investigate Apollo's Internet history!
She never wants to be a housewife. Rather a investigator.

Goofy ahh BONUS (Interaction with Queer's OCs.)

Oleg:

She gets along with Oleg quite well and overall likes him as a father figure (despite
preferring her actual father.)
 She and him bake cookies together.
Patrick's interactions with him makes her laugh her ass off.
She solved the case of Oleg's weird ass journal.
She sleeps near him for some reason. Probably because her uncle did the same thing
with Krus.

Stacy:

OH BOY THESE TWO! They hang out all the time.

They went everywhere together, shoot guns together with Grandpa McGee, hell, they
even slept together.
Stacy has had Sarah, Frank and Tsarina all near her.
Stacy supports her goals all the time and introduced Colombo to her.
She and Stacy solve cases together all the time. It actually makes sense.
Like Patrick with Oleg, she argues with her about exploring the world vs just staying at
home and having a family (it's just that it's less of a train wreck like Patrick and Ol.)

Tsarina:

She doesn't really like her?

They're relationship is just kinda weird sometimes because they're sisters. But
sometimes Tsarina bugs her.
Pat eventually helped them be close by the time they were adults.
 James Heathcliff's profile
Chapter Summary

Random profile for a minor OC in the upcoming writing project lmao.

“History is the most important thing known to man, if you don't like it. Then you are lost,” -
James Heathcliff

James Heathcliff is a calm historian and minor character in Five Worlds Collide. He's a
former government worker and work's for a research project on time spikes. He tells people
what happened to the abandoned church at the edge of town.

Full Name: James Heathcliff

Aliases/Nicknames: Hank, The Demon Slayer, Big Guy (by Deimos and Sanford),

Age: 33

Birthday: July 4th, 1990

Height: 6’1

Weight: Unknown

Gender: Male
Species: Human

Nationality: American

Occupation: Historian and former government agent

Status: Alive

Relatives: Mark Heathcliff (older brother), Sarah Heathcliff (Older sister), Unnamed parents.

Relationships: Adam Murray (acquaintance.), various others

 The beginning.
Chapter Summary

An average day in Joe's weird life.

(SNIPPET for Hellsent)

Chapter Notes

YES a little snippet for a HEAVENSENT Madness Saga crossover. So yeah. Stay tuned
y'all!

He felt the blood run all over his body as he aimed the rifle at the guy's head and blew it right
off like it was nothing. I didn't know why I even teamed up with him anyway. He was an
anarchist with tentacles coming out of his brain and an inhuman laugh. As he burned the
recent Dark God cultist corpse.

It was ironic since he's the one who burned down the school that one time and all the cop's
tried to get him arrested. But he was not there by the time they came and was never seen by
anyone again I presume. Until now that was, because I paid him about ten bucks to kill this
guy. For a hitman, he accepts jobs that pay him pennies compared to the thousands of dollars
I assume mobs pay. But business is business. So I was fine with that.

He pulled out the blood stained ten dollar bill and stuffed it into the pocket. A big smile on
his face as he walked towards me and said in a voice reminding me of the Dark God himself:
“Thanks for the money kid. Pleasure doing business with ya, hope this cult doesn't give
you too much trouble.”

I just chuckled to myself and replied with a “Oh it's nothing man. Just let me get this corpse
out and buried and the operation will be done!”

The lovecraftian monstrosity only chuckled like a crazy person and nodded.

“Sure thing man. I'll leave you to do your job. Makes me so happy to see more people
joining the hitman business!”
He then walked and left. I on the other hand decided to go ahead and get my shovel and
started digging. So I walked over to the corpse and did exactly so. At first, I hated being a
Paul bear and a gravedigger. But ever since the Dark God and Tim's ghost decided to mess
around with my sleeping schedule. I had to get used to killing whatever monster or messed
up cultist bothered me this time.

As you know if you read the f#cked up Saga known as my blog. You probably know that I
live in the strangest town in the world: Good Ol Mount Vernon. And it is getting even
stranger everyday. The simple way or finding out your best friend's a Wendigo. Leading to a
downward spiral of crazy bullsh#t is a sight to behold. And things are getting stranger.

You see, Mount Vernon is near some other strange weird towns in the state. There is
Sarahsville who's had more time travel shenanigans than ants on the planet. Sedro Wooley
which is basically filled with Bigfoots and skinwalkers. Then there's the small town of Philly.
Which has been the most famous besides Mount Vernon and the main point of the story.

You see, Philly is a place filled with superheroes. I kid you not, God damn superheroes and
supervillains exist now! And not only that, my friends are also superheroes and the rest of my
friends at the secret society have no idea what to do about it. And now I have to add
superheroes and villains to the list of things I have murdered in self defense! But I'm getting
ahead of myself. Let me get back to the story…
 Random Facts about the Secret Society.
Chapter Summary

Hello everyone! I'm back with a vengeance and this time. Instead of doing a random
facts thing about a character. We're doing it for a group! That's right everyone! Another
Madness Saga thing finally returns!

“We have the will to protect the city of Mount Vernon and give further insight on the
paranormal. Since the students are the only ones who will stand up against the enemies of the
people.” - The random beginning oath Heller made to start this organization off.

The Secret Society is a small group of students who investigate paranormal activities
and protect the city of Mount Vernon from dangerous ones like The Dark God's
fellowship or demons.
The main founder is Heller A. Keller, former member of the Dark God's cult. With Joe
being co leader.
Other members include Lucas Tillus, Dakota Bronson and Rylan Pascal. As well as a
part timer in Patrick Walker.
They were founded in early 2023. But sadly didn't last a year after the events of Volume
3.
They purposely go ahead and sabotage anything the fellowship of the Dark God
affected.
Their name's ironic since they are the opposite of secret. Everyone in the school knows
at least one of them.
They are not accepting any other new members besides Lieutenant Tony.
Everyone contributes somewhat. Joe and Dakota takes care of the more physical stuff
(But Joe can be well rounded for other things) Lucas is the historian on the paranormal
and Wendigos, Rylan is the meme lord and Heller leads all of them and knows how the
fellowship works. And Patrick does absolutely nothing because issues of his own.

Differences in other AUs:

His Woes and Families Love:

Nothing much has been different from before. The only exception is that they may fall
into conflict with the church family because they investigated the sins of all the Greek
 Gods.
They have personally pissed Oizys off. Mainly Joe because he's tired of all of this
bullshit.
Tsarina is a part timer in the secret society and actually spends quite the time with
them.
Heller has made it clear that Apollo is an enemy due to his actions in the Madness Saga
Christmas special.

HEAVENSENT:

The Secret Society is an anti superhero and villain due to the overall corporatism
of it. Despite the fact that Joe's partnered up with lots of them without even
knowing it.
Joe even supports them despite Heller not liking or agreeing with his view of
costumed heroes.
The Secret Society promotes normal people and others who are not in costumes
as ‘real heroes’ who sacrificed themselves. Hell, they even make solid points
against their opponents.
They are a major pain in the ass for the Morningstar and Andromeda families as
much as the Dark God's fellowship. Sabotaging whatever they are doing as long
as innocent lives are not threatened.
Lucas and Heller both have rough experiences with superheroes and
supervillains. And they want to stop them from being this way.

“This is not the way to go. Being costume freaks terrorizes our cities. Acting entitled
because they have paranormal activities. Since when did the cop's do this? Look,
Heavensent and all of these masked people are evil. True heroes don't use masks or
have alternate names. They show their real face, name and don't support billion dollar
companies! The little hard working Americans must rise!”
 A weird experience with monochrome kid and skull arsonist
Chapter Summary

Joe gets an unexpected meeting from a supervillain for some reason... He doesn't know
why though!

(SNIPPET for Hellsent.)

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

I sighed and sat down after I buried it. My yard was now some overcrowded grave of a
murderer. And I don't know how the heck is everything making things worse. People are now
nicknaming me “monochrome boy” and saying that I ‘came from the fifties movie’. By this
point I'm the kid who is cursed with all this paranormal stuff. No need to get all pissy about it
I suppose.

I took some breaths and I checked my watch. Wondering if I messed up or something because
I thought it was the morning. Nope. It's one A.M. ONE GOD DAMN A.M.

I HAVE TO GET OUT TO THE FRONT YARD!

I began to walk over to the front yard. Expecting something weird to happen.

You see, shortly after the Dark God's manifestation incident. I began getting all these strange
and exotic items out of nowhere. Highly advanced laser weapons, various bags of drugs,
supernatural merchandise for the show Breaking Bad. Everything you can imagine, I
probably obtained it and sold it for a few extra bucks. Mainly because I need a few extra
bucks for the secret society and also because I don't want to live with my arsehole of a
stepdad forever. And I make a good amount of money from it as well.

I went out and stood outside of my front yard. The sun shining bright over the frosty January
ground. My hands clenched tightly on the most recent object I was capable of getting my
hands on. A weird miniature sprite bottle that when opened: basically functioned like the
demon core. And I was going to expect the usual supervillain, serial murderer or government
agent to go buy it in exchange for a butt load of money. So I was surprised when one of the
least expected people showed up. And when I mean showed up, I mean he literally just stood
there and chuckled in that same Russian accent I knew.

“Hey Joe, how's it going?” Said Tabi Andromeda, the goat skull headed man walking up
towards me and staring at me for a second.

Tabi is a high mob boss-member of the Andromeda crime family. I don't really know much
besides that they were not human at all and one of them was my middle school history
teacher. Tabi and I were kind of like…friends? He just went over and bought stuff from me
once a month. Our relationship was kind of hostile at the worst and friendly at the best. But
this time Tabi was a little more ‘nice’ (I am using air quotes on this for a purpose.) But here
was also the thing: he already came a week ago!

“Fine Tabster, seems like you want to buy my wares?” I replied.

“Oh I'm not buying anything. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Remember that
meeting you had with the secret society?” Tabi asked.

Jesus Christ please don't tell me he's talking about that meeting.

“Yeah?” I replied, sounding very confused.

“Well they were talking about how I was the closest thing you have to a father. I don't know
much about your past. But I decided to be your surrogate father if you don't mind.”

Great… Heller, why are you always making things weirder?

“Uhh… Why?” I asked, my face staring at the goat guy with a little confused expression. I
know my father was missing and gone. But now apparently Tabi, the person who bought my
products for years by this point. Wanted to be my dad? What?

“Because I might as well have wanted to do it anyway! I thought it was weird at first but I
said: why not? You seem like a good kid, grew larger the last time I saw you too!”

“Very weird but interesting thought process for that to be honest. So anyways, want to buy
my wares again? I have another bomb! I know that's like your food to you!”

Tabi only walked closer to me, patted my head like I was some sort of dog or something. He
then laughed and said, “How about we head out for a while and get some ice cream? I know
your little friend group is going to meet in an hour. That's enough time for us to bond. How's
that sound, Monochrome boy?”

“I hate that name. Why's my skin monochrome anyway?”

 “Hey I get it. But let's just go. I have superheroes to fight and a new family member to know
a little better!”

I just nodded and we left my place. I know my mom is going to get pissed off at me for this.
But I don't care anymore. I have people to know, talk to and other things. And if Tabi is not
being an arsonist for a second. That's probably for the better. Especially because I needed to
talk to a certain superhero…

Chapter End Notes

Tabi and Joe are PERFECT TOGETHER THE FUCK?!

 Random Arse Argument
Chapter Summary

Another sorta rushed Hellsent Snippet. IDFK why I'm posting this on Xmas Eve but oh
well. Enjoy y'all! Merry Christmas or whatever winter holiday equivalent you have!

Heller and Lucas were sitting in the same weird arse McDonald's at the edge of town. Along
with Rylan and Dakota sitting nearby eating a burger and fries each. I was surprised when
Rasazy was literally sitting next to Heller as well. Seemed like all of the Secret Society was
here with a superhero nearby.

You see, Heller and Lucas were different from the rest of the Secret Society. They absolutely
hated superheroes and supervillains. Whether it be a heroic person saving the world or a
villain eating babies, these two find a way to somehow hate them. Which I don't understand
since they are just people like everyone else. But since Heller is the founder and the type of
person to convince her friends to follow her. She'd find a way to make her organization anti
costumed anything.

And the reason why I found it surprising that Rasazy was with everyone is because she was a
superhero. Her superhero name was Heavensent (weird as hell name. But it worked), and she
was so serious about it too. I remember her scolding me for killing those Dark God cultists
one time. So seeing this was quite the shock.

Tabi and I were both holding dairy Queen blizzards as we both walked up. And I swear to
God I heard Heller and Lucas discuss what type of madness they committed earlier this week.

“So you blew up Enforcers car?” Dakota asked, a little confused. “Why though? I thought we
were not going to do any illegal crap!”

“Look, being a former member of the Dark God's fellowship has its benefits. Bomb making
was one of them. And I have to make sure that the enemies of the people are safe. I will
admit that it may be a little illegal. But I'm desperate.”

“Wait, what did I just hear?” Me and Rasazy shouted at the same time. We were both
probably thinking the same thing.
Heller widened her eyes and got up. Moving her black bangs aside and staring at me for a
little moment. “Oh hey Joe! Welcome back! Please come over and sit alright?” She gave Tabi
a death glance as she noticed him. Then did the same for Rasazy (I told her Rasazy's secret
identity too. As well as many superheroes.) “Just make sure these two don't try to screw with
us…”

“Trust me Heller. They won't.” I said casually as I sat on the extremely large bench. “I'll keep
an eye on them.”

“Isn't that kind of weird? What stops me from reporting this to the cops?” Rasazy asked as
she stared at the leader with a confused look on her face. For being off hero duty, she's still
being on clock without even knowing it.

Heller turned her head to Rasazy and gave her yet another death stare (yeah, Heller is
horrifying) before just saying, “Then we'll tell everyone that you are Heavensent… You don't
want that now, do you?”

Rasazy was going to ignore all of it until Tabi decided to say something next: “I mean, glad
I'm not the only one into bombs.”

“JESUS CHRIST NOT THIS GUY AGAIN!” Shouted Lucas. Sounding a bit pissed. I knew
having Tabster coming along would be awful. Feel sorry for him sometimes. “Why are you
out here? I thought you were gonna leave us alone for once,”

Tabi groaned, his hands clenched into a fist as he stared at my best friend with an angry look.
“What did you say you little brat? I know you're a disgusting flesh eating monster!”

“What did you say you skull f-”

“EVERYONE THAT'S ENOUGH!” I shouted out loud. I can't even understand what or why
this whole pointless gang war bullsh*t even exists. There is an issue going on with Mount
Vernon. Especially with superheroes from Philly going in here and interfering with the Dark
God cults 'rituals. I don't even know most of the heros went dead most of the time. The only
issue is that I feel a weird urge to yell at someone. But I didn't. “Why can't you guys agree on
something? Like I swear to God if all of you bicker one more time. I'm just going to quit the
secret society or something!”

“Looks like someone's pissed off,” Rylan said like he was Duke Nukem. “How did someone
make the chill dude boil?”
 Random Facts About The Sheriff
Chapter Summary

Hello EVERYONE! Guess what y'all! So to end 2023 and kick off this new year, I
might as well do a random facts episode thing on the most hated villain I made besides
Wilson. And that's the Sheriff himself...

“So, looks like the filthy Yankee scum decided to come back? Should have known. You
know that God made the Arian race superior!” - The Sheriff's first words before fighting
McGee in There's no Turning Back.

He's the supposed brother of the Butcher, which he hates and only views as an animal.
But it's debatable.
He is a very racist asshole due to him being way too involved with the Confederate
States of America. He doesn't really believe in any human values though. He just wants
to get control and become a tyrant.
He's a full on manipulator sometimes and he can and will find a way to make you do
what he says.
He's secretly a gigantic angry swarm of gigantic yellow jackets disguised as human.
But he is also a lovecraftian monstrosity and has tortured people before.
He was older than the Butcher but is clearly less aware or accepting of human culture
besides law enforcement.
Speaking of which he thinks law enforcement is only about control and nothing else.
He loves revolvers and he enjoys shooting people with them. One time he shot a person
in the face because he felt like it.
He can only die by suicide which resets the timeline.
He's a calm and cynical yet taunting being. Always finding some sort of way to
increase suffering.
He and Ares both staged multiple tragedies together. And he had fun doing that.
He likes torturing and killing Highly Sensitive People because they are lower than low
to him.
He has ANOTHER regular human name. And it's literally named after the founder of
the KKK. (He named himself Calvin Jones…)
He stands at around six foot five and dresses up like a traditional western sheriff.
He thinks Butcher is incapable of anything human or love. Only viewing him as a
killing machine.

ANOTHER WEIRD AF BONUS (INTERACTIONS WITH QUEER'S OCS.)

He barely recognizes the differences between all of them.
He thinks of Oleg as a sensitive bitch boy. Stacy as a whore and Tsarina as an unlovable
cosmic fuck up.
He denies the fact that they are anything special at all.
He sometimes shoots them if they bother him. He genuinely leaves them alone since
he's got better things to do.
He has at least a hundred insults for all of them.
 Time Travel Craziness.
Chapter Summary

Tord gets a rather weird visit from a certain man from the future.

(Snippet for Sins from the Future.)

A wise man once said that betrayal is the only truth that sticks. And that would be a very
accurate statement. Because these could've been friends, family, even lovers. And all of that
because you wanted to do whatever you wanted. It's a thing no one should do.

And Tord was the textbook definition of this. He's been friends with Matt, Edd and maybe
Tom (barely though… they hated each other.) They always hang out in weird adventures.
From then fighting clones of themselves to visit Hell to joining the military. Everything was
perfect. Until he left, came back, backstabbed everyone by using a giant robot. And failed
miserably.

But there's the thing though. He was a leader of a communist terrorist group called 'the Red
Army.' A group of people planning to invade Britain. Something he founded himself. But
then he had to go visit his friends and get his kicks. Everything was his damn fault. Matt was
still his friend and Edd… Edd loved him. But then he fucked it all up. He deserves all of it for
all he knows.

Eventually, he invaded the country of the United Kingdom. He took it over with advanced
technology. Plasma weapons, robots, monsters of destruction. Things you saw from a sci-fi
movie came to life. He fought his old friends again, took a lot of them by his side (all except
for Edd. Can't say he wouldn't blame him.) And the empire ever grew. But the sins were still
there. Bothering him, nagging him, torturing him.

And it all made him feel like shit. And then something happened. Something big always had
to happen. Have you ever wondered what would happen if your past self saw a future
mistake? Like, your younger self saw your fuck up for his own? Well, that's what happened.
The future is advanced, this is likely to happen.
It happened long ago. Before Tord backstabbed them. Before the formation of the red army.
Hell, before Tord even left the house for the first time. Tord was in the house alone. It was a
long, boring Saturday night. Everyone else was doing something else while Tord stayed
inside. Thinking about which gun to buy next time…

Tom and Edd were eating out. And Matt was at some baking competition. So he couldn't talk
to anybody. He could turn on the TV. But nothing good happened at this time of night. At
least anything that Tord cared about. He could play video games. No, he wanted to wait for
Edd to do that.

He sighed. "Damn it! I'm bored! Shit!" He cursed under his breath in mild irritation. He sat
on the kitchen chair. Whiskey in his hands. "I should have made a plan earlier. Now all the
guy's are out and I don't know what or what to do in the slightest! Oh God damn me!"

He just downed another sip of the alcohol. It was a cheap booze he got from a shitty
poundland. It wasn't the best but they were all broke as hell. So this was the best thing they
could buy. But then he widened his eyes at what he saw next…

What came out of this mysterious portal who came out of nowhere was a man. Who looked
like Tom. But he had some weird futuristic pistol in his hands and some VR visors glowing
green. Tord immediately thought this was fucked, he got up and grabbed the closet object to
use against this guy (It turned out to be a pistol that he always kept in the kitchen. All in its
classic glory. It was a Walter P38.) And aimed it at the mysterious fake Tom. His face turned
sour as he stared at him.

"Who the actual FUCK are you?" Tord interrogated, his eyes staring into the sci-fi Tom's
soul. He's too tired for this madness. He got it enough from the guys. "ANSWER me,"
 Adoption
Chapter Summary

Harold Walker talks Officer Tony Schrader into adopting a kid.

(Snippet for The Bottom of Mount Vernon.)

Chapter Notes

Listen y'all. I just wanted Tony to be happy and Queer would have chopped my nuts off
if I didn't include Tsarina into PLM. So here ye go. Tony is officially a adopted father
and Tsarina is a cop. Not a witch.

“Are you telling me that I am going to adopt a kid?” I said, staring at Harold Walker with a
raised eyebrow. I understood why he wanted to talk to me about something. We have been
friends since the 2000s. But a kid? He wanted me to adopt a kid?! “Look, I have a job for the
MVPD. How are you going to get me to raise a little girl by myself when there's weird things
going on everywhere? Doesn't make any sense to me to be honest,”

Harold just stared back like I was a weirdo. The man was a strange person to me. Being a rich
CEO of an oil tycoon and quite the hard worker all around. It felt like the man didn't do
anything wrong. He was a humanitarian and donated half of his money to charities. Yet he
had a very unreasonable hatred for people who didn't really deserve it. I saw him yell at
Krusveto and his wife for being neglectful to their kids. Which was confusing since Oleg said
the opposite.

So in this case, I was having one of my weirdest friends talking me into adopting a child.

“Tony please listen to me,” Harold said, he sounded like I busted him for cooking meth. “I
messed up. I completely screwed myself over. And I don't feel like I deserve to raise this
kid,”

I simply raised my eyebrow at him. My whole demeanor changed to confusion. The hell did
he mean he screwed up?
“What do you mean homie?” I asked, putting my water on the table. Waiting here Harold's
wife Marie to make us some dinner. “It's your kid. You and Marie made it. Why give it to
your friend for no reason?”

Harold narrowed his eyes and shook his head. The man looked like he went through a
Vietnam flashback. The dim light makes the room extremely dark around us like an abyss.

“No Tony, you got it all wrong,” Harold whimpered, pulling out a beer to drink. For some
reason, this was probably the most saddest moment I have ever seen him in. “You see, me
and Marie were drunk and…” he choked on his alcohol before continuing. “Decided to have
a threesome with Stacy. She just gave birth to her child a week ago. I don't think she's good at
parenting. And since I feel bad about… what happened with that scumbag Wilson many
years ago. I thought you would be the perfect candidate,”

“Really Harold? You were not faithful with your wife? The hell man!”

“Yeah, I messed up big time… Just raise her like your own. Never tell her about me or Stacy.
And don't let her go anywhere near that punk Krusveto or his hag of a wife.”

I stopped and thought for a bit. Was this okay? I mean Stacy lost her daughter and Harold
was practically killing himself with guilt and cheap beer from Walmart. But on the other
hand, I do not have a family anymore. My biological parents and family are all the way in the
Midwest.

I never dated after the incident with my dead boyfriend and Wilson's little cult. So I needed it.
And Harold practically helped me when I was down at the time. So I might as well do a favor
for him. It was a win-win for both of us.

“Yeah sure thing,” I said with a calm tone. “I mean, I would've been a hopeless bum without
your support, a favor for a favor I suppose.”

Harold smiled and pulled a 180 on his mood.

“Thank you Tony! I knew you would be a great father!” He said as he got up and gestured to
me to follow him. “I already took care of the paperwork and legal limbo. You now have a
daughter, Dad. Her name is Tsarina by the way. But I recommend you changing it to a less
Russian name,”

Really Harold? Stop putting Russia into everything!

I only nodded and followed him to the hallway. The sound of Marie cooking slowly drowned
out as I went to the guest room Harold showed me twice. He turned on the lights to show a
baby sleeping on a crib. Gently snoring. She looked like an adorable angel with a life of
happiness ahead of her. I smiled while looking at her. Feeling like being a father was the
greatest decision in my life.

Harold looked at me and said, “Just take her Tony. She's your daughter now,”

I shook my head as I looked at him with a calm glance. “Harold, I need some time to get
prepared for this before anything. I'll pick her up after a week. You can handle that right?”

Harold nodded, “Can do man… I understand.”

I took a week after that night getting ready for the baby to arrive and for parenting classes.
After that, I got Tsarina and brought her to my house. And that's where I raised her for her
childhood.
 Good morning I guess...
Chapter Summary

Tony describes his experience with his adopted daughter.

(Snippet for The Bottom of Mount Vernon.)

Chapter Notes

Queer here is fluff for you since you're addicted to that like crack.

I was laying down and resting for tomorrow. It was a very long week and the weekend was
going to be a relief. I got my lousy rear out of the hospital after the confrontation with
shadow Randall. The case went cold after that. Which pissed me off. But I couldn't do
anything about it.

I tried to stay asleep. Making sure the weird nightmares did not bother me again. But I heard
a voice as I turned my body to the side.

“Dad, wake up,” said a soft female voice that I was familiar with. Feeling a pair of hands
shaking me. “It's Saturday dad! Please don't sleep all day!”

“Please let me sleep sweetie,” I said in a tired voice, slamming my face toward the pillow. “I
swear I can't move a single inch!”

“But Dad, I miss you!” She said, continuing to shake me. “You literally terrified me when
you got injured on the job! And you're the only person I have! What if you get time traveled
to the stone age or get turned into a giant monster?! Or shot? I don't think I could ever forgive
myself!”

I chuckled and sat up. I never understood why. But ever since I let my daughter watch the
collection of Godzilla movies and science fiction pulp novels. She's been obsessed with them
and acts like a goofball only when I am around.
“Fine Tsarina… I will get up!” I said as I groggily got up. My body almost trembled in pain a
little bit as I got up. My eyes opened to see a sixteen year old girl with the goofiest smile on
her face. “Morning kiddo,”

She practically tackled me as she hugged me tightly. Feeling her kiss my cheek several times.
My daughter did this all the time. It was weird for someone her age to do this. But I was the
only family she really knew. So I just hugged her back.

“Morning Dad!” Tsarina shouted. Her head on my shoulder as she continued to hold me. I sat
up as she decided to sit on my lap. “I found out that my school is going to have the military
come by! You know what that means?”

“You want to join them?” I asked as I ruffled her hair. I didn't know how to raise a girl. Since
my daughter was basically a straight up tomboy.

She quickly nodded, “Hell yeah Dad! Being in the army is like my second favorite dream job
besides joining the police! Dakota said he was going to join too! But I have to take some
recruitment test before anything else… Anyways, are we going hunting today?”

Oh, I forgot I promised her that we’ll go deer hunting today.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you for reminding me sweetheart,” I said as I checked the clock.
It was seven a.m. Of course it was that early. “Yeah we'll do it after I get breakfast. Also can
you please let me go? I need to get ready first! And get a cup of joe!”

Tsarina pouted like a child as she let go of me and went onto the floor. “Okay Dad! But I'm
getting the Winchester Model 70!” She said with a smile as she left my room.

I chuckled again. “I am forever grateful to have a daughter like Tsarina,” I whispered with a
smile as I got up, and went out of bed.
 Thing's Spice Up
Chapter Summary

Tony gets a call after some random discussion with his daughter...

(Snippet for the Bottom of Mount Vernon.)

Chapter Notes

I think this is the last snippet I'll do for this story since it's really important AF. Anyways
enjoy!

We were loading the game we got in the truck bed soon after. Tsarina loaded up the birds as I
casually grabbed the spare deer and loaded them up when we were there.

“Hey Dad,” Tsarina said, helping me out with the last deer. “Are you alright?”

I narrowed my eyes and looked at her as we put the last deer in the back of the truck and
closed it.

“What do ya mean kiddo?”

She looked at me with a concerned look and began to look at her hands. Trying to hide the
microscopic tears in her eyes.

“It's just that when you were in the hospital, I was scared sh#tless. I was seriously concerned
about your health due to the Dark God case’s tomfoolery. And you've been on edge
sometimes…”

“You seriously knew that sweetheart?”

“Yeah… you're a horrible liar and are even more horrible hiding from your daughter!”

“Well you shouldn't worry about that Tsarina. Everytime I get into these situations. I survived
them. You're a teenager! You're supposed to.. go hang out with your friends and find out what
you want to do in your future instead of worrying about your old man.”
“But Dad! You're the only one I have left,”

“Not true sweetie. You have your friends and besides, when was the last time you saw me
come back in multiple pieces?”

“Fair point,” she said with a nod as she walked towards the truck door. I followed her and
went to the driver's seat. “My point still stands, Dad. I love you,”

“I know. I love you too my daughter,” I said bluntly as I turned the truck on. But as soon as I
went off the road, The chief of the Mount Vernon Police Department decided to call me on
my phone. I couldn't answer until I left the woods.

“Hey boss,” I said as soon as I answered in my professional tone. “What do you need? I'm
busy right now,”

“Lieutenant Schrader!” The chief said, his voice filled with a rare type of distress I only saw
once. “I'm sorry to ask you this during your break, but we need you to get in this case right
now!”

“Okay then,” I replied, my nerves slightly tensing up. “What's so big that I have to get back
early Chief?”

“That's the problem Lieutenant Schrader,” The chief said, taking a deep breath before
continuing. “We and the police department at Philly are both looking for a serial murderer
who's been on the loose! We have four dead bodies in both town's. Half of them were brutally
mutilated. The other half got shot several times. We need you to investigate asap. We got
evidence that Wilson may get involved in this,”

Oh God no.

“Chief, I will be there after I get home and in uniform, expect me in like a half hour at the
earliest,” I said as I continued to drive to my house. “Gotta take care of getting game stored
and stuff,”

The chief nodded, “Ok then, I will see you soon then Tony,” he said before hanging up.

Tsarina turned her head at me. Her eyes widened as she looked at me.

“Don't tell me that you are going to get back to work early,”
“Duty calls kid,” I replied, “Besides this is something serious… Very serious,”

She gasped, “Oh God… Looks like we have a serial murderer on the loose!”
 Random Facts about Tsarina Schrader (PLM Tsarina)
Chapter Summary

Well y'all. It's time to know the most sudden difference in PLM. Tsarina Schrader...

She was the daughter of Stacy and Harold. But due to Harold's extreme guilt and belief
that he and her didn't deserve to raise her. Lieutenant Tony Schrader was her adopted
father.
Unlike her HWAFL counterpart. She's a survivalist and hunter. Able to take out and
cook any living animal she could lay her hands on. She hates witches due to a traumatic
event and enjoys getting them arrested.
She has a deep respect for the law and the military. Since her dad is a cop and she
watched too many military movies.
She's obsessed with sci-fi since her father gave her all of those good novel's and
movies.
She has a very optimistic and upbeat personality. Seeing the best in everyone as long as
they are not criminals. She also has a solid sense of humor. But she doesn't really joke
around much.
She's usually quiet and passive around people besides her father. When she's around her
father, she's the sweetest person ever.
She's clingy to people she cares about. She literally made Tony cuddle her to sleep
multiple times before she turned thirteen.
She doesn't care about the Walker or Church family besides Oleg, Ruv and Patrick. And
she hates people like Krus, Rsch, Harold and Stacy, (as well as Kyong and Marie) for
various reasons.
She doesn't really focus on hating people as much and prefers to keep it to herself.
She has never met her biological family until she was fourteen. When she stumbled
upon Stacy and disliked her on the spot.
She's similar to HWAFL Tsarina in a way where she has a single parent and is ok with
that. But in this universe, she doesn't think she needs a mother figure.
Is a total tomboy and likes manly crap. Which explains why she's friends with Dakota.
She tries to redeem as many people as she could unless they are that unforgivable (Like
Harold or Stacy.)
Her favorite gun is a Winchester Model 70. And she would try to use it whatever time
she got.
She likes hunting knives and blades more than regular daggers. But she'd totally use a
machete.
Stands about 6 '4…
Had a healing factor like Oleg. She can't truly die. Since she is like Wolverine when it
comes to regeneration
 THIS cabin SUCKS!
Chapter Summary

(Snippet for a future Madness Saga and DHC crossover thing featuring Randall
suffering.)

Randall gos to his house. Or should he say shitty cabin.o

Deep thoughts went through the mind of the cultist as he stared at the ceiling. When was the
last time he died? It felt way too long in his brain. To be fair, his brains have been turned into
a DAMN pulp by this point. He sighed and looked at the darkness. That same darkness he
saw after he died yet again. And again, and again.

It was a long process for him. The house was an abandoned mess. Creaky floorboards, rats
and cockroaches everywhere. The foul smell of death. That was among everything Randall
knew anyway. And after that amazing but weird fight with Joe and that pest of a wendigo. He
felt amazing. Simply fine! Totally!

But he was not. He remembered everything in the past. He remembered the first time he
killed someone. He regretted it at first. But he , his boss, his God told him to do it. The deity
told him MANY things. He told him that he will raise him to be successful if he got his
physical form. But Joe shot it off.

Now here he was. In this rotting little cabin at the edge of buttfuck nowhere and little to no
food. He sighed and sat down on the wet floor. Waiting for something to happen for a second.
But it didn't.

This place creeped Randall out… and he couldn't believe that he had been living here for the
only 16 years of his life. He could have sworn that he heard Wilson laugh in terror once…
Just once.
 Bad Omen...
Chapter Summary

Joe describes a time in middle school...

(Snippet for a Madness Saga Prologue.)

Life before the great pandemic of 2020 was amazing yet felt different. I'm not saying this
because Covid 19 messed everything up. Though I will admit a globally dangerous virus
turned plague is definitely a world changing event don't get me wrong. But for me, the big
change had nothing to do with a simple virus. The biggest change came a fresh two years
after 2020.

But I should have seen it coming. I should have seen it coming way before. I should have
been less stupid. Less unaware of upcoming events that would change my life forever. But
hey, that's how life works. Plans and people change like play doh. So let me cut to the chase.

It was 2019, I was thirteen and different at the time. I was optimistic, filled with life and I
honestly felt better than now. Middle school felt like a weird rollercoaster of emotions. I had
a bunch of friends from there. School was cool, my buddies Randall, Dakota and Lucas were
normal great people like me. And my family was always there for me.

That was that for a while. Everyday I went to school, hung out with my friends at class or
lunch and then went back home. But on a cold December day. Things began to turn horrific.

I was sitting on my chair for English class during the first period. Randall was next to me
drawing a picture of a psycho killer chopping skulls off. It looked cool. I wished I was good
at drawing. I just focused back on my book about Greek mythology until I heard the intercom
boom out:

“Joe, please enter the principal’s office immediately,”

I only widened my eyes and turned to Randall. He just looked back at me and then at the
teacher.
“Why does the principal want you?” He asked.

“Beats me man!” I said back, a little worried. I got up and grabbed my stuff. “I’ll see you
after it's done hopefully,”

“You too buddy,” Was all Randall said in reply before going back to drawing.
 Sudden Interruption.
Chapter Summary

Joe gets a weird visit from Selever...

(Snippet for Hellsent.)

“This is why most of the superhero community thinks we're DAMN jokes!” I added as
Rasazy stared at me in hidden dislike. Which is sad because I always considered her my
friend. “We're being viewed as assholes because Lucas and Heller are acting like that. How
are we going to uphold our values of the common man and wendigos while we oppress
another minority because they do something different from us? This is bullsh#t Heller.
Complete and utter bullsh#t. This is why we should just forgive and bring people like Tabster
over here to rehab…”

“Wait, I/he needs rehab-” Before Lucas and Tabi could finish all of their lines. A new strange
person appeared in the conversation. This time it was the all too familiar d#ckhead which I
wished did not get into the conversation. At all.

What appeared in front of me was the older brother of Rasazy and honestly the biggest
annoyance in human history. Better known as Selever Morningstar (Aka Revelation. Stupid
hyper religious name. But still a name,). With a cocky grin and a narrowed brow.

He looked around us, first me, then Heller who was just… making an explosive under the
table, then Lucas, then at Rylan, and finally Tabi before saying “Jesus Christ, so is this where
the Gaster Blaster and Monochrome guy are hanging out at?”

“Oh God damn it,” Heller mumbled as she looked at him. “Not the arrogant terrorist who
thinks he's Superman!”

“Ironic coming from the car bomber leading a group of whack jobs!” Selever was annoying.
But damn it, dude was so right about Heller at that moment. He clapped his hands as Tabi
stared at him like a little weakling or something. “Now, let's talk about the elephant in the
room. I am only here to get Skully over there to jail, and not only that. Looks like you have
been associating with him, eh Joey?”
“Oh come on Sel!” I said, trying to keep my calm. “I didn't do anything like blow up
buildings or burn innocent civilians! I only killed cultists in self defense!”

Selever laughed like I was on crack. “Oh shut up Joe Biden! You were trading weapons with
literally everyone for money! Trust me, I know. I have been to Mount Vernon a lot of times.
And Gaster Blaster over here needs to get to prison so-”

“So what? I have to make money somehow. And sorry, but you are not going to throw Tabi in
jail. We have your whole family's secret identities Sel. Don't forget that before getting in here
thinking you run Mount Vernon!” I interrupted. “If you want to do superhero work over here.
Please do it. Because we can all agree that we need more heroes. But you're not going to ruin
a possible redemption. Not on my watch!”

Tabi finally had one more thing to say. “Honestly, my son has a point you little sh#t. No one
even wanted you here besides Rasazy. Now leave him alone or I might as well chop your
gu-”

“I am this close to calling the cops!” Rasazy said nonchalantly.

“Oh God,” Lucas added.

“Whatever, all of you suck anyways. Especially you Joe, no one even likes you. Your way of
doing things is just morally unacceptable,” he looked at Rasazy and before they both got up
and walked away. With Sel adding: “You're no right as Randall. Remember that,”

I did not just hear what madness he said!

“See what I mean?” Heller added, “My point still stands Joe. We're the true heroes, not
them,”

“SHUT UP,” Tabi said. “They deserve some credit,”

“Tabi… that's the most important thing you said this whole time!” I replied, my tone a little
too pissed off. “You got a point! I just wished everyone else understood that!”

I then just sighed, looked down at my blizzard and ate it like a depressed guy.

“What's the matter with him?” Lucas asked as I felt some weird skeleton hand run down my
back.
“I don't know,” Dakota replied, “I feel like this may be too much for us if we're getting into
conflict with Sel,”

“Look at that loser!” I heard some random voice notice my existence from somewhere I
didn't care for. “Looking like some Monochrome freak! No wonder why he's being comforted
by his fellow freak!”

I then heard Tabi pull out a Beretta and pull the trigger. Oh God he killed some dude… I then
sat up and looked at what happened.

“Really Tabi?”

“What? They shouldn't insult you like that!”

“Oh God dammit!”

 Random Fact's about Lucas Tullius...
Chapter Summary

Since I need to finish a lot of Madness Saga themed shit... Might as well make a random
facts thing about the side protagonist himself... The wendigo of Mount Vernon: Lucas
Tullius.

I know my condition makes me hated by the masses. But I'm still human like everyone else on
this earth. Why can't I be treated the same as my fellow man?” - Lucas Tullius on him being a
wendigo.

He's a wendigo with a human form. He sadly can't really control it much. He managed
to get some control on Madness Saga Volume 2. But that's about it.
He hated Tim Ambrose, Randall and Dakota Bronson for a long time since Middle
school. After the events of Madness Saga Volume 1 though. He was friends with
Dakota.
Lucas is Joe's best friend. And they have known each other since middle school. They
both care for each other extremely even though Lucas is a wendigo.
His wendigo form is extremely durable and could and will take lots of punishment. It
would take an army just to take him down. Magic doesn't do shit to him. His claws
could tear through mages like sandpaper.
His wendigo form has to eat some sort of meat. Yes, human meat included.
He is a very passionate and opinionated guy. He would literally argue with you over the
smallest things.
Lucas really hates witchcraft and magic. And believes it's extremely evil and diabolical.
His family had this rare condition that made him crave human flesh. He resisted
though…
He is an enemy of the Dark God and everything it stands for because of it's random
racism against wendigos and other supernatural beings…
Lucas is straight…
He has gained the ability to speak some English in his wendigo form somehow.
He's fought Randall more than anyone else…

Bonus! (Interaction with HWAFL OCs made by Queer!)

Oleg:

He thinks Oleg's terrified of him. Which he understands…

 He's usually casual with Ol. But completely doesn't understand Oleg's powers.
He has a plan to ally with him and the church family to go against the Dark God's cult.
And Heller approves of it.
Like Patrick. Lucas completely thinks that Oleg is a biological dude and not a
transman.
His wendigo form is probably the most extreme thing Oleg has seen.

Stacy:

He thinks Stacy can leave him alone. His father had beef with Stacy's bio parents a long
time ago and had said to stay away from her.
He doesn't know if Stacy's a racist piece of shit against wendigos or not. But usually
leaves her alone.
He has killed several witches who had similar spells to Stacy before. So he would not
be shocked by her bullshit.
Doesn't understand why Lieutenant Tony Schrader would even like her…

Tsarina:

She's seen Lucas’ wendigo form. And she can confirm that it's a possible threat.
He one time ripped apart a Dark God mage in front of her. And she could still see
the blood everywhere.

“Magic…. useless against pure strength,” (His words to Tsarina one time as
advice.)

It's unknown how Greek magic could work against wendigos. Since wendigos come
from native American folklore.
Tsarina's still worried about him. What if Lucas becomes Randall?
 Head canons for what if Postal Dude was in HWAFL updated.
Chapter Summary

Okay I am planning to make an update to my what if Postal Dude was in HWAFL au as

well as one where Franklin makes it big over his own 'family'. So for now... I might as
well post some head canons here. Enjoy y'all!

“Long time no see comrade! Wait… you're married to a WOMAN?!”

Postal Dude and The church family have a long long history. Mainly with Ruv. Since
they were exes.
Dude was forced to break up with Ruv because of some stupid plot his stepdad did on
him. Which explains why he killed the guy when he was in his twenties.
Despite the previous insane things Dude did. Ruv still cares and loves Dude in some
way.
Ruv marrying Sarvente, having kids with her and then Dude returning has made this
whole situation worse. Dude still loved Ruv though.
Postal Dude and Ruv's children have a weird but close uncle-nephew/niece
relationship. Dude teaching them how to shoot guns easily and to use the scythe he had.
Postal Dude calls Oleg a pussy sometimes if Ol aggravates him. Oleg doesn't bother
him at all though. And Dude gets along with everyone moderately well (Besides Krus,
Tsarina and Stacy because reasons.)
Postal Dude has a demon that haunts him simply known as the “Other Dude.” He
haunts Postal Dude and makes everything worse. Hell, he's even affected Sel once.
Ruv and Postal Dude knew each other in their teen's. And began dating at High school.
Despite both of them just being polar opposites. Ruv and Dude are still close.
Most Greek Gods (besides Artemis and others) hate Postal Dude for what he did to
Zeus and Hestia. So that is going to complicate things with the church family.
Tsarina's super horrified of Postal Dude. Probably because of how unpredictable he is.
Everyone loves Champ (Dude's dog…) Do I even need a reason?
Everyone in the church family is horrified about what happened in Postal 2 & 4.
Besides Ruv of course.
Remember those asshole protesters from Postal 2?! They're back to burn the church…
Making them the Postal antagonists to be here.
Postal Dude almost killed Marie. Until Ruv convinced him not to (as well as roasting
Marie because that's Dude and Ruv's sense of humor.)
Postal Dude hates Sarvente so much that he pissed on her bible. And Ruv didn't
question it.
 Short SHITTY Jerry x Oleg Head canons (Featuring Randall
and Patrick...)
Chapter Summary

Just some shitty ideas for Jerry x Oleg Head canons because Queer requested it.

Jerry is always finding some way to make his boyfriend laugh. No matter how fuckin'
stupid it is.
He cuddles Oleg all the time along with Patrick. Despite Jerry sometimes doing so at
the stupidest places
Jerry has trained Oleg on how to use a baseball bat (Thanks to Randall for giving him
that idea.) Because Jerry's super aware that he has a lot of enemies attacking him
everywhere. And Oleg has to protect himself no matter what.
Franklin White noticed their love so much that he implemented killing Jerry into Oleg's
‘kill plan.’
Jerry sometimes pisses on cans and throws them at people who call Oleg a girl. No one
called Oleg a woman after he did it once.
Jerry literally lets his niece and nephews cuddle with him and Oleg all the time. And he
and Oleg both enjoy it…
Opposites attract. Oleg and Jerry are both examples of it.
Jerry does not think Oleg is chubby. No one thinks Oleg is chubby and there's nothing
wrong with Oleg at all (daily reminder folks!)
 His Children and His Sadism head canons.
Chapter Summary

Oh this is just a big fat list of Head canons I did for a possible au about HWAFL.
Hopefully y'all enjoy!

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

William (or the Butcher) in this AU has actually killed Oleg and Stacy's abusive
babysitter in cold blood. He didn't regret it.
He adopted Oleg and Stacy as soon as their parents died. And he quickly tried to
teach them everything about killing people. Besides Oleg because he was already
aware of his hypersensitivity.
Oleg and Stacy were never childhood friends with Jerry or Marie in this AU due
to Hillbilly McGee and Butcher being enemies. In fact they almost had a family
war one time.
Butcher was always on the move and that means that it was kind of hard for Oleg
and Stacy to meet up with him after school. But when they do, they chill.
Stacy is a lot more sadistic in this AU as Butcher taught her to torture and kill.
She doesn't participate in sadism much. But she wouldn't regret killing a rapist or
pedophile. That's for sure.
Stacy also is built like a brick shit house, exercises everyday and has a strong
sense of justice. She does still write songs and cares about people with mental
issues but it's too a bigger degree.
The Butcher is more aware of human emotions in this AU. As he doesn't go into
full murder mode around Oleg and comforts him.
Oleg is way more self confident in this AU due to Williams absurd amount of
support and love he gives him. When Oleg said he was trans. Butcher's reaction
was this.

“FUCK YES! I HAVE A SON! LET'S GO! I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO

BRAG ABOUT THIS!”

Despite the Butcher's absolute hate for the Gods and deities. He felt happy that
Oleg and Stacy were allies of the Norse pantheon instead of the asshole Greek
pantheon.
Despite being related to the Greek Gods.
 Ruv was orphaned earlier due to Krus and Rsch dying as soon as he was born.
But Butcher was able to adopt him as well. And he grew up to be a good hitman.
So Krus and Rsch were killed by Nyx because Krus’ family disrespected her.
This event made Butcher/William extremely depressed and the Lovecraftian
monstrosity vowed to get revenge on Nyx for his surrogate son's death.
Ruv still had kids with Sarvente. But he became extremely unhappy afterwards
and had a divorce with her after discovering himself.
Jerry x Oleg and Stacy x Marie are still canon in this AU. But Marie accidentally
started Ragnarok, brought the Greek Gods into the conflict and died while
helping Thor fight the world serpent. Rip Marie.
Instead of Harold being Tsarina's father. This time it's Wilson. And Stacy
managed to get her custody. Which led to Butcher and Tsarina being close as fuck
(I mean I am going to make this AU more metal yet wholesome then HWAFL
somehow.)
Patrick Walker is the great grandson of Ares in this AU. Which makes it ironic
since he hates Ares. (It's on his dad's side though.) And sadly is supporting Loki
in this AU because all of the Greek Gods are on there (But he switches don't
worry.)
Franklin White is still adopted by Stacy in this AU and is a Jotun human hybrid
(Jotun is the name for Norse giants). But he betrays his family for Loki.
During Ragnarok, The Butcher and his family were allied with the Norse gods
and humanity while all of the Greek Gods were allied with Loki.
The main characters of this AU are going to be Butcher, Oleg and Stacy. With
Sunday being a major side protagonist because Pico/Sunday go brrr.
Ruv's kids are servants of Odin in this AU. Helping him out when it comes to
dealing with Ragnarok.
Tsarina is still a witch in this AU. But it's mainly a combination of Greek and
Norse magic.
Ruv's married to Whitty in this AU and Sarvente is okay with it.
Besides Sarv. Ruv has a lot of exes in this AU. Which is included but not limited
to: Dionysus, Ares, Pico, Tony, Daddy Dearest and his wife, Harold, Freya, Taki
and Jerry. Among many others.
Ruv considers Butcher his true dad. Not Krus.

“Hey son! How's it going?”

“Oh it's fine dad. I just got done throwing rocks at kid's,”

“Really Ruv? Really?”

“Dad, you did worse,”

 “Fair point, but those are KIDS!”

Chapter End Notes

The reason why Stacy is more lax about violence in this AU is because of Butcher
raising her for like 14 years (yeah Butcher adopted Stacy and Oleg a year earlier than
Krus and Rsch in HWAFL.) So ye.
 The Deal about Death.
Chapter Summary

Athena and one of the God's personal mercs discuss their plan to kill Patrick's parents...

(Snippet for a future one shot thing called Ocean Shores...)

“So….” Said Samuel, the great grandson of Hermes and b#stard son of Ares. Out of all the
experiences he could have had. Having Athena go and ask him for a favor was probably one
of the most shocking. “You want me to kill the dimension hopper’s parents huh? Like… blast
them with a shotgun and stuff? Something like that? I mean… I don't mind. I'm always in a
mood to whack a couple of sickos who don't own a shotgun. But I digress,”

Athena nodded. As she stared at the ground, to be fair. This was probably going to be a very
hard decision. Patrick Herbert MaGee Walker was always her favorite mortal and son in this
day and age. But this didn't mean that she liked his parents. Frankly put, she hated them with
a burning passion. And due to Hillbilly McGee going after the Butcher for the final time in
both of their lives. It was time for action. And she was not going to let the rich pig Harold, or
his sinister wife Marie get out Scott Free. Despite them not really being bad people… In fact
Marie regretted yelling at her kids. And Harold took more breaks than usual to spend time
with his kids when Pat was 16. But the goddess of wisdom wasn't going to let them live.

“As I said. You are to kill Harold and Marie Walker. And you better make it slow and
painful,” Athena added calmly, yet almost calmly. “You are also supposed to avenge your
father Ares against McGee and Butcher. Despite my… negative opinion on that. Zeus has
listened to Aphrodite and made it final. So I will have to watch you do it. So you better not
screw around. I want my son to recognize that I cared for him more than anyone else,”

“Funny, because you were more of a ‘I love you from a distance’ type of ga-”

“Do not test my patience Sam,” she said in a loud, booming voice. “You're still a demi God.
And not only that, I have an extremely poor opinion of you. As well as Dionysus and
Artemis. If Zeus was not involved. I'd have you dead in a heartbeat. I want this done my way,
in exchange, you will get paid a massive salary and will live with us on Mount Olympus.
How's that sound?”
Sam laughed a hardy cackle at that. His beat up looking thick face staring daggers into
Athena’s face.

“Oh… so that's the plan huh? Kill your son's parents and blame it on their youngest child?”
Sam asked.

“Since when did I mention that into the damn plan?” Athena asked. “Are you worried about
the police?”

“You know damn well that the Mount Vernon Police Department is a major pain in
everyone's side,” Sam added, downing the cheap vodka he stole. “They'll get me arrested
faster than a heartbeat. If I'm going to commit a murder, then I have to not draw suspicion to
myself, right? It only makes sense,”

“I like your thinking,” Athena added, her brows widened. She thought Sammy was a
complete dunce. But she was wrong in this case. “I don't care about the useless Marshall
Walker. He can rot in the mortal's prison system. I will tell you, though. I'm going to assign
you to work together with a fellow Merc. The mostly mute one. He's also assigned to do what
you are doing. But with one addition.”

“And what's that?” Sam asked. “What other thing do we need to whack?”

“You two are going to kill the halfbreed. Who's now some pile of tentacles needing water to
live,” Athena added. She was thinking about her son when she said that. She wished she
spent more time with Patrick. But she will soon. Pat will become a God soon if it's the last
thing she'll do. “The half-breed's name is Franklin White… And he is the most dangerous
person I have ever seen…”
 Random Facts about Samuel Alquist.
Chapter Summary

Alrighty fellow people. Since I am writing the in canon last story in the DHC timeline
(Don't worry. I will make more prequel shit because DHC is loved here.) I might as well
introduce the final antagonist or villain in the series. And that's the one and only sadistic
shotgun wielding demi God... Samuel Alquist.

“It's high time to eat lead fucker!” - Sam telling to some poor chap who doesn't own a
shotgun before blowing his fuckin' brains out.

Is the sadistic great grandson of Hermes. And the b#stard son of Ares.
His personality is stand-offish and annoying. Yet with the confidence and machismo of
a 90s boomer shooter hero.
He had a religious obsession with shotguns to the point that he thinks everyone without
a shotgun is evil. And he openly enjoys killing people who don't have shotguns.
He's so obsessed with shotguns that those are the only guns he uses at all. He may use a
pistol. But that's about it. The rest are shotguns. As well as knives and the occasional
frying pan.
He pisses everyone off. Hell, he even manages to make Hestia’s blood boil.
He never gave a shit about anyone. Not even his own family. In fact he probably killed
all of them for not owning shotguns. Hell, he hated Hermes and Ares. Yet serves the
God's.
The only person he ever unironically loved was Jerry. In fact he dated Jerry before his
parents divorced. But guess what? Jerry broke up with him a month later… Despite
Sam acting like the sweetest boyfriend ever to Jerry.
He likes collecting heads of the people he killed. And he usually wears them on his
belt.
Was originally 6’9. But grew up to 7’9 at 2035.
He was one violent guy. Like Butcher levels of violence. The only difference is that
Butcher does it for money as well as pleasure in moderate amounts of profession. Sam
does not.
He has extremely messed up hair and is built like a swimmer.
He started a long rivalry with Hillbilly McGee. Both of them sometimes fighting
over stupid shit.
He is also obsessed with magic. Wanting to be the God of it and shotgun's.
Zeus and Hecate are the only God's who can have a reasonable civil talk with him. All
the others lead to arguing or a dead body.
He hated almost everyone to be honest. He's only really calm about this since he thinks
hating everyone is normal.
 He's an abusive asshole to the point where Marty is scared. And Marty eats vampires.
Despite all of this. He wouldn't betray Jerry ever… Even if Jerry's going to kill him.

Bonus Interactions: (How tf would Sam do in random ass AUs?!):

HWAFL:

Sam is long dead in this one. Butcher killed him in his rampage against the God's.
He's now a ghost that haunts Jerry. Mainly just hanging out with him and being friendly
because Jerry's the only person he cares about at all.
Sam hates the Church family and thinks they're all pussies. Especially Tsarina. He
thinks she's a poser.
He's really soft around Oleg though. Probably because of Jerry.
He thinks Marie doesn't exist.
He mainly haunts Butcher the most because he is literally a monster.
Krusveto bought a shotgun so Sam can leave them alone.

HEAVENSENT:

HEAVENSENT Sam is extremely different. He serves as a loan shark for the

Andromeda family.
He keeps a very low profile in this universe and just uses superheroes for money.
He's extremely loyal to the Andromeda family and does anything Solazar or Tabi
says without question.

He doesn't. CARE about Selever at all to the point that he doesn't acknowledge his
existence. He ignores him.

He unironically thinks Heavensent is a fraud.

TNGG:

He died and Sarvente accidentally resurrected him..

He also killed Rsch two times…
He generally leaves the church family alone though. They are annoying as fuck.
Especially Rasazy. He hates things that shouldn't exist.
 Chronos x Male Reader Head Canons
Chapter Summary

Yes... To celebrate Valentine's Day. I made Chronos go gay. I regret nothing. Also gay
people go brrr

“Oh shit I think I need to lay off the magic mushrooms,” - [Name] after he got sent into the
Underworld.

[Name] got his ass sent to the afterlife because Zeus killed him for some reason he
didn't know.
At first, it was weird being in the underworld. He thought it would be hell, but Hades
really really gave his ass a scolding for that.
After a little exploration of the underworld. He accidentally walked into where Chronos
was imprisoned…
Being the fuckin' weird ass idiot he was. He decided flirting with the king of the Titans
was a really good idea!
It went a little something like this:
“Why are you looking thick?”
“I'm like the Lord of time, plus I'm a Titan… What did you expect?”
“Uhh, no! I was just wondering why are you a Femboy?”
“The actual FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY MORTAL?!”
“Hold up, hold up man! I just thought you were cute!”
Somehow that made the king of the Titans himself blush. Bro just made Chronos blush
wtf-
Chronos decides to get up and walks closer to [Name]. Putting his hands on the smaller
guy's shoulders and acting uhhh, romantical.
“Do you like me?”
“What the actual FUCK do you mean by that?”
“Look, you just flirted with the father of Zeus! Do you like me?”
“Like is more of an understatement-”
[Name] just immediately got himself trapped in Chronos’ big titan arms.
It was super comforting to be held by the king of the Titans since he's ten feet tall and is
basically a giant bed…
This got [Name] super flushed and shit. He tried to escape but Chronos was not having
it. Who knew Chronos liked men?
“You're not escaping mortal. I know you were lonely for like most of your existence.
Plus… I hate my wife and kid's. So having a boyfriend to hold is DEFINITELY
something I don't deserve but needed,”
“The fuck does that even mean? Why are you God's so confusing as fu-”
So uhh, Chronos just kissed [Name]... On the lip's…
They made out and cuddled for the rest of time. Ending with [Name] sleeping on the
Titan's chest.
Hades is disappointed once finding this out.
“Kill me,” Hades say's, “Kill me now!”
 Quick PLM Rewritten Snippet
Chapter Summary

You heard me. I think PLM needs to improve. So I am officially making a one shot
where PLM gets updated for the final time... Because damn it. PLM after Texas Red
Doomsday is shit

Have you ever felt like the world itself was different? Like y'know… how like seeing one
guy makes everything change? Well, this was one of the times that the universe blew up or
something stupid like that? This was one of the biggest examples Patrick Herbert MaGee
Walker (or Maximov, but he fuckin' hated that last name for some reason) could imagine the
bullshit from a mile away now. Despite being the goofiest autistic child ever. But hey… I
suppose this is what the worlds been accepted to do. Or something.

He had a normal life to be fair. He had an adopted father and mother (who were just friends)
named Sarv and Ruv. A weird Grandpa named Hillbilly McGee. And three siblings. Among a
bunch of other family members he had and loved very much.

They all lived in some church that was not important at all. I mean, not as important as THE
LOCAL POPEYES CHICKEN THEY HAD NEXT TO IT (LET'S GO!). But besides that,
none of this matters now. What matters now is the story of how he found out how some outer
being named “Xander Morningstar '' and how Pat's unnatural dimension hopping abilities
made both of them screw with their pasts.

It started after Patrick went to some strange alternate dimension where he saw his biological
mother (Sadly not his real adopted mom: Sarvente.) Married to someone named Stacy and
some random guy named Krusveto existed. He didn't talk to anyone though, that low key
terrified the kid. After seeing this, along with the experience all the dimensions he visited
offered. He felt weirded out… Super weirded out.

He landed face first on the bed though afterwards. The dimension visit only lasted for an
hour. He reappeared in his room in the morning. His brain feels like paste and mashed
potatoes. His brown hair was all messy and messed up as he got up.
“Dang! That was the weirdest experience ever!” Pat said as he sat up. Unaware that his dad,
Ruv, opened the door. “I wonder why it lasted longer than me knowing my bio Da- OH
GOD!”

“What's the matter?” Asked a confused Ruv with a chuckle. “Hey kiddo, let me guess. Weird
dimension adventure again?”

“No, not really… More like some boring hour of nothing,” Patrick replied. “Just like when
Mom tries to make me not think about breaking bad!”

“Honestly my son,” Ruv (or Dad) started off. As he walked over and kissed his son's
forehead. Followed by wrapping his arms around him. “She's just like that sometimes, your
mom is like that sometimes… A lot of stuff has happened though,”

“Really?” Pat asked. “What is it?! Are we going to go and get ice cream?!”

Unknown to Pat… Thing's are going to be weirder. So, so weirder.

 What If Jesse Pinkman Was in Lost and Found? Intro...
Chapter Summary

An intro for yet another what if series I guess.

For many… MANY years (16 to be exact.) Breaking Bad has captivated the minds of millions
of people around the world for its intense storytelling and unique characters. I know I sound a
little bit of a basic bitch when I say this. But I love the series and it's one of my favorite
fictional franchises next to Postal, TFGS and many others. And honestly, one character has
literally made himself a mainstay in pop culture in general. Let alone the series.

And that's Jesse Pinkman. The foul mouthed, sometimes drug addicted meth making partner
of Walter White. Jesse is honestly an amazing character and how he just acts and how he
reacts to situations makes the show just way better. Especially with Walter. The chemistry
there is just amazing. If you haven't watched Breaking Bad. Please do. What the hell is
taking you so long to watch a show that would be in high school if it was a person?

Which leads me into another one of the best FNF AUs I've seen on the AO3 landscape. And
that's the Lost and Found AU. An AU about a Gay Ruv going through the toughest time's
ever imaginable and his manipulating bitch of a mother Sera (seriously, FUCK Sera. I hate
her! She's the Skyler White of Friday Night Funkin' fanfiction!)

Like Breaking Bad, the characters are amazing and well written. Especially Ruv and Whitty
who have the most heartbreaking interactions ever (Like Walt and Jesse from Breaking Bad.)
Sometimes. And honestly the only thing that is preventing it from getting as much Emmys as
Breaking Bad is because it's a fanfic…

The way it approaches authority and parenting makes it the perfect crossover with Breaking
Bad. So what the fuck would happen if the all rebellious yet morally pure Jesse Pinkman gets
all tied up in Ruv's drama? How the heck would Ruv react to Heisenberg’s drug empire?
Well, there's only ONE WAY to find out. What if Jesse Pinkman (And a few others like
Walter White and Postal Dude because I add Postal into everything.) Was in Lost and Found?
 One Weekend Night
Chapter Summary

Jesse Pinkman just hangs out with his boyfriend and discuss how much of a bitch Sera
was.

(Snippet for What if Jesse Pinkman was in LAF?!)

Jesse Bruce Pinkman was a rebel to be honest. He didn't act like the other middle class people
that were his age and background. He was deep into the ghetto hip hop style culture. Always
wearing some sort of beanie and rap merch. Hell, despite his parents being disappointed and
practically unapproving of everything he did. He didn't care. He still enjoyed the high life in
New Mexico's capital.

He was about to light a joint. He was safe inside his boyfriend's bedroom. So why not smoke
some Mary Jane? He was about to blaze it. Until the giant Russian guy he cared about so
much swiped it away from him and put it in his pocket.

“I don't want you to do that okay?” He whispered calmly yet sternly. Yet Jesse could feel the
utter sadness in his boyfriend's face. “Mom would kill us if she found out we're dating. Let
alone having pot…”

Jesse looked up at the ceiling and sighed. His head moved around.

“Come on man!” Jesse said, “My parents have been on my ass all the damn time! Can't we
both have a break? Besides your Mom's a bitch,”

And now he was inside Ruv's house. Ruv was a nice guy. A stoic and tough man. But that's
what he probably wanted anyway. A person that was the opposite of Jesse Pinkman. But who
knew? All he knew is that Ruv was precious to him. And that the only thing that scares Ruv
is that bitch named Sera. Who was unfortunately Ruv's mother. Jesse didn't get it. Ruv was a
tough son of a gun to say the least. He survived fights and no one really messed with him
unless they openly looked forward to getting hurt. But Sera was the only expectation. And he
didn't get it. To be fair, Jesse was young and stupid, of course he was bound for mistakes. But
he didn't get why he would protect someone as diabolical as that woman. But maybe he was
too harsh, who knows?
Ruv shushed him as soon as Jesse was about to go on another one of his infamous rants
against Sera. His gigantic hands now gripped against Jesse's cheeks. His stare at Jesse makes
the rebellious stoner flinch several times. He spoke softly and filled with a concerned yet
calm voice.

“Jesse, please don't say that! I know she wouldn't approve of our relationship, but I still
LOVE her. I would say the same thing about you Jesse. She can be like that whenever she
wants. But She can't do much about our relationship as long as we support her delusions that
we're just friends,”

“I mean why can't she just stop being a homophobic bitch?” Jesse whispered softer than a
teddy bear. His face turned red as he tried to pull the taller man closer. “Aren’t moms
supposed to be supportive of their kids and help them succeed? What's wrong with your kid if
they swing the other way? I don't know man. I feel like it's kind of messed up for a mother to
do that,”

Ruv just pulled the smaller Jesse into his arms. A warm vice-like grip squeezing Jesse in a
tight yet comforting embrace. It was followed by a deep passionate kiss straight on the
confused stoner's lips. Jesse Pinkman only kissed back as Ruv went in for a snuggle. The bed
creaked a little bit as Ruv went in with his boyfriend. After a long couple minute make out
session. Ruv held Jesse's head to his chest. Mumbling out sweet nothing's and lovingly
stroking Jesse's hair.

“I know, but she's still my mom,” Ruv added as he squeezed Jesse yet again. “I always
complain about your parents, yet you still defend them. So why don't you support my mother
then?”

Jesse chuckled, “So, what do you mean by that? That just means we both have parents who
get hated by anyone else but us!”

Ruv chuckled and pecked Jesse's cheek again. “Fair point,”

After a while, they just stayed there for the rest of the night. Ruv and Jesse both tired and
both pressed onto each other.

“I love you Jesse…” Ruv said in a very, very soft tone. “I can't imagine a world without
you,”

Jesse laughed and kissed Ruv's lips. “I love you too man, I don't know what type of
Tomfuckery I would be in without you,”
 Random Butcher Quotes I thought up about.
Chapter Summary

Some random William quotes I thought up about while on a drive home.

Chapter Notes

(WARNING: This has come offensive language. So please don't read this if this makes
you upset or something.)

“Boom! There goes your head!”

“Hey there!”

“Heeey therrrre,”

“Seems like someone isn't dead yet! Too bad I exist!”

“Eat lead!”

“Eat lead BITCH!”

“Take this buckshot you fat whore!”

“The God's are too pathetic and selfish to fight with honor, and that explains why they
are pigs!”
“You look too tall, let me cut you down to size!”

“Oh you think a simple gunshot can take me down? Oh you're SO DAMN WRONG!”

“Hmm, flames sound like an amazing way to go!”

“Get roasted!”

“Here ya go! All toasty for your bitch ass!”

“Your rage is making you see disappointment and I am enjoying every damn bit of it,”

“Man, I could kill for some Dairy Queen right about now,”

“I've seen children fight better than you,”

“Do me a favor and stay the fuck down so we can make this easy,”

“FUCK!”

“FUCCCCK!’

“Go FUCK yourself you cunt!”

“Oh shit I think someone saw my true form,”

“Why do people think murder is bad? It never caused me problems! It's kind of
therapeutic to be fair!”

“Is that a Winchester? I'm definitely taking that!”

“Oh boy are those explosives? It's like Christmas morning in 1863!”

“Call me a lumberjack because I'M GOING TO CHOP YOU INTO BITS!”

“Yeah thanks for the pay,”

“Why are there spiders coming out of me?”

“This is nice, being a human in this human world…”

“I wish I was human instead of some, what the hell am I?”

“No seriously, what the fuck am I?”

“Honestly I'll just feed you to the wolves,”

“Y'know what? Screw this! You can be wolf food!”

“Ahhh, soul tracers are a gift from a GOD!”

“I love soul tracers!”

“You stole my damn ice cream. And now you're going to pay!”

“If the God's are so powerful? Why did they bleed?”

“Cronus and his descendants are disgusting pieces of filth! Which is why I am trying to
send them six feet under!”

“DAMN looks like Franklin killed someone! He's not going to beat the best though!”

“I love my job!”

To literally any kid ever:

“Hey kiddo,”

“Hello child, you lost?”

“Aww, poor kiddo. I'll help you find your parents,”

“You know what kid? How about I'll buy you something? It's on the house,”

“That's it kid, I'm adopting you. I'm your Dad now!”

To Hillbilly McGee:
“Hey cousin fucker!”

“Hey McGee! How's your wife? Oh wait? She doesn't love you anymore!”

“SWEET HOME ALABAMA MCGEE! I thought your life basically meant that!”

“Stop getting drunk and fight me you sister piping FUCK!”

“Remember all those corpses McGee? You should have been one before World War
One,”

“You upset redneck bitch? Probably because everyone you love gets turned into DAMN
COMPOST!”

“Rest in piss McGee love interest number #1897,”

“You keep fighting despite how much lead I fill you with. Honestly I needed this! ”

“For an inbred hillbilly uncle fucking fagmuffin, you still seem smart,”

“Imagine serving a shitty government which defends chomos? Wouldn't be me!”

BONUS: quotes to Ol, Stacy and Sera (Ol and Stacy are Queer's OCs while Sarah belongs to
Serp.)

“WAIT, you can't die?”

“Hold the damn phone! You can't die?”

“Another HSP! I sure love hearing them scream! Makes me laugh my ass off!”

“So you can heal? How about we see whether or not you can bleed with a chainsaw?!”

“Oh it's another rainbow slut,”

“Do you bleed rainbows? Eh, I'll find out within a minute,”

“You get bothered by noise? Perfect! I love it when suffering is easier to commit!”

“Homophobia is your only character trait Sera!”

“Die you two faced whore!”

“An entitled two dollar hooker with aids would be a better mother than you!”

“I am a better parent for Ruv,”

“Medovik deserves a better parent than a two dollar you WORTHLESS BIMBO!”

“I'm going to make this SLOW!”

“I'm taking the kids,”

“Don't worry Ruv. You won't be hurt ever again,”
 Marty x Marie x Stacy & Dad Marty Head canons.
Chapter Summary

Listen y'all, I decided to combine these two because well... Queer dared my ass to do
this. Plus I will make it canon that Marty would be an amazing Dad.

Marty didn't know what the hell a poly relationship was until Jerry described it as a
more intimate orgy.
Marty actively swears in front of Marie and Stacy to look cool and because Jerry
promoted it.
Marty gets all of his advice from Marie or Jerry TBH.
Marty cuddles with everyone. His kid's (Frank, Patrick, Tsarina etc) and his lover's
(Stacy and Marie). Hell he'll even have one big snuggle pile if he could do it.
Marty is like Butcher, in that he will never miss a birthday party… EVER.
Marty kissed Stacy shortly before Patrick was born somehow.
Marty likes teaching his kids how to cook and hunt. Hunting makes him feel better and
cool. Plus the fact that he enjoys cooking and eating vampires.
Marty was raised by Artemis in HWAFL (I'm not sure if it's actually canon but IDFC it
makes sense) and he genuinely tries to make people hang out with his surrogate Mom
more.
Marty has this weird relationship with Patrick in that they both do the most autistic
stuff ever (Both are peak autism so yeah).
One time Marty woke up to Marie and Patrick both sleeping on top of him. And Harold
was there too (Marty was laying on Harold's lap.)
Marty will try and eat Stacy's hair because he thinks it's Skittles. But he usually spits it
out because that's not SKITTLES MARTY! JESUS CHRIST!
Marty sometimes says stuff in English in front of Marie and Stacy to look cool.
Marty one time accidentally summoned a monster while reading a bedtime story to
Tsarina. And then he decided to tame the monster and make it Tsarina's pet (Based
Dad.)
Marty thought Stacy was a man at first because of her flat chest. But he was corrected.
Marty and Marie don't really care about the chest area. They think the face is more
attractive than the chest.
Marty and Stacy wrote a song one time about gay men in Ireland for some reason.
Marty also wrote a song filled with sex jokes for Franklin’s sixteenth birthday. Frank
called it “The best song anyone has written ever,”
Marty and Marie may want a baby together.
Marty thinks Rasazy and Selever are his kids as much as everyone else. So Sel and Ras
get cuddles and stuff.
Marty likes resting his chin on top of other people's heads.
Marty and Marshall became super close after burning a Catholic Church down because
their priest raped a child one time. Sometimes Marshall calls Marty his Dad as well.
Marty always cries himself to sleep if he finds out one of his kids die or doesn't love
him anymore.
Marty and Marie both have sniper rifles they both used to shoot Zeus in the ball sack
with.
Marty calls Marie's ex-husband a “Big Stupid Gay Loser” all the time.
Marty genuinely cares about Stacy despite not understanding everything about her
(Marty doesn't understand Stacy's healing powers. Because every time Stacy uses her
powers, it just makes Marty hungry and want to eat food.)
 Random ass snippet for What if Jesse Pinkman was in LAF?!
Chapter Summary

Yeah so to motivate my shit. I just decided to post this. Enjoy y'all

Gustavo Fring was a very careful man. I mean, when you're the owner of three successful
businesses in three different industries. You just had to know your way around the game.
Especially when one of those businesses is a meth empire.

He rubbed his chin. Carefully thinking and tinkering about what he should have done with
Pinkman. The man was a pure definition of a problem. And Gus didn't know what to do with
him.

Jesse was a junkie, lacking any control and getting high on any substance he found
presumably. He was too emotional and underdeveloped for being involved in such a high
stakes profession as a meth maker. And most recently, as he saw on tape. The screaming
match between the two was to put it bluntly: extremely pitiful.

But then he had another thought in mind. Another problem you can say. And that was Sera
Romanov. The new person Gus hired to be Walter's cooking partner. And to make it a long
story short, Gus thought he could have made a mistake.

Sera was aggressive, a little too aggressive. And her triggering Jesse already made Gus think
he made a mistake. So, what does Gustavo Fring do with mistakes? He gets rid of them. And
all needed to get rid of at least one of his problems was Walter White.

“So,” asked Mike, Gustavo Fring’s right hand man and bodyguard. “What should we do with
the broad and the kid?”

All Gus replied with was a “Simple, we improvise ,”

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