Description

The communication without words. The face is used a great deal. Hand signals, shrugs, head
movements, etc. also are used. It is often subconscious. It can be used for:

 Expressing emotion (e.g. smiling to show happiness)

 Conveying attitudes (e.g. staring to show aggression)
 Demonstrating personality traits (e.g. open palms to show accepting qualities)
 Supporting verbal communication
Non-verbal behavior also varies across cultures (such as the ‘ok’ finger O), although the six
major emotions (anger, fear, disgust, sadness, happiness and surprise) are common across
the world.
Non-verbal behavior is commonly called body language.
Research
Mehrabian (1971) found that non-verbal aspects were a significant part of communication,
particularly when mixed messages are sent.
Later studies showed the situation to be more complex, with percentages varying with the
situation or even with individual things being said. For example, if a person is not moving,
then words and tone take far greater proportion.
Example
Try the difference between listening to someone with your eyes closed and
listening/watching with your eyes open. It is much easier to understand when you are
watching them.
So what?
Using it
Read the other person’s non-verbal behavior. Watch for changes in response to your
communications. Also spot mixed messages for when the voice says one thing body says
another—this can be a sign of attempted deception.
Beware of popular myths about body language (such as crossing arms signifying
defensiveness). Many such anecdotes are at best dangerous half-truths. Body language is
most significant when they appear in clusters, at the same time as a significant event (such as
being asked an embarrassing question) and when it is unlikely that the other person is trying
to control their non-verbal behavior.
Watch your own body language too for signs of what your subconscious is thinking. Be careful
when controlling it, as this can lead perceived mixed messages from you.
Defending
Watch your own and other’s non-verbal behavior. Use it to improve your understanding of
what is going on, especially at the subconscious level. Make conscious decisions.
Using Body Language
Body language is an important part of communication which can constitute 50% or more of
what we are communicating. If you wish to communicate well, then it makes sense to
understand how you can (and cannot) use your body to say what you mean.

Message clusters
Body language comes in clusters of signals and postures, depending on the internal emotions
and mental states. Recognizing a whole cluster is thus far more reliable than trying to
interpret individual elements.

 Aggressive body language: Showing physical threat.

 Attentive body language: Showing real interest.
 Bored body language: Just not being interested.
 Closed body language: Many reasons are closed.
 Deceptive body language: Seeking to cover up lying or other deception.
 Defensive body language: Protecting self from attack.
 Dominant body language: Dominating others.
 Emotional body language: Identifying feelings.
 Evaluating body language: Judging and deciding about something.
 Greeting body language: Meeting rituals.
 Open body language: Many reasons for being open.
 Power body language: Demonstrating one's power.
 Ready body language: Wanting to act and waiting for the trigger.
 Relaxed body language: Comfortable and unstressed.
 Romantic body language: Showing attraction to others.
 Submissive body language: Showing you are prepared to give in.
Core patterns
A number of core patterns can be identified that include clusters of body movements:

 Crossing, Expanding, Moving away, Moving forward, Opening, Preening, Repeating,

Shaping, Striking and Touching

Parts-of-the-body language
You can send signals with individual parts of the body as well as in concert. Here's details of
the contributions of each part of the body.

 Head: Face, Cheek, Chin, Mouth, Lips, Teeth, Tongue, Nose, Eyes, Eyebrow, Forehead,
Hair
 Arm: Elbow, Hand, Finger
  Torso: Neck, Shoulder, Chest, Back, Belly, Bottom, Hips
 Legs: Thigh, Knee, Foot

Other notes
Remember that body language varies greatly with people and especially with international
cultures (so be very careful when applying Western understanding to Eastern non-verbal
language).

What is Body Language?

Body language is a form of communication where you use gestures and body actions instead of
sounds or regular words. It belongs to the paralanguage category, which is described as non-
verbal human communication.

Are you aware that by knowing how to read body language, you may be proficient in spotting
liars?

It is also important to note that you can independently use body language to convey a message
or command. It is equally important to know the right body language or gestures to use
together with verbal language for increased effectiveness.

People should know that their level of confidence affects body language, very much like how
real words are pronounced and stressed. Each action, subtle or emphasized, should properly
compliment the idea, whether or not you choose to use it with words. People will understand
your body language only if you confidently present and project.

Positive Body Language

Positive body language is defined as showing gestures or facial expressions that convey an
optimistic or positive response, or simply meaning "yes". The most obvious form of teaching
yourself body language would be to simply nod your head in agreement. Other notable facial
expressions would be smiling, brightening, or opening your eyes wider and showing enthusiasm
and interest with a gaping mouth.

Open arms, an openly expressed torso and widely spaced legs are also known as positive forms
of body language, which means that you are welcoming the thought or you are positively
responding to the conversation. Mirroring is another technique where you tend to imitate at
least one gesture that the other person is doing to show agreement.

Negative Body Language

Negative body language is the opposite, where you show disagreement or refute part or the
entire idea of any given conversation. When you teach yourself body language, you can show
negative responses without words by shaking your head, frowning, gritting your teeth, putting
your eyebrows together, or raising them high. These are classic facial expressions that will
immediately show your objection. You may use these when trying to counter ideas verbally.

When it comes to negating gestures, crossed arms and standing your ground with firm feet
placement is a great way to express nonverbally. You may want to raise your index finger up
when trying to emphasize an idea against the subject being raised. It is not advised to point
directly at any individual, since you're particularly addressing the concept and are not being
personal.

The idea between positive and negative body language is to show your response in a way that
coincides with the words you're saying or are about to say.

There are so many gestures you can use to effectively teach yourself body language. Pacing,
palm positioning and eye contact are also very important elements to achieve a greater impact
when communicating. Hope these body language tips help you greatly in your daily
communication with people
9 Ways To Read People By Understanding Body Language

Body language is the meaning behind the words or the “unspoken” language. Surprisingly,
studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal. The
majority of the rest of communication is unspoken. This unspoken language isn’t rocket science.
However, there are some generalizations or basic interpretations that can be applied to help
with the understanding or translating of these unspoken meanings. Here are some basics
below.

Smile - People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favorite pet, and
smile.

Eyes - If you don’t look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as
dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of
focus/direction can translate similarly. If more than one person is present in a group, look each
person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or
her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting
glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so
that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.

Attention Span / Attitude - Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention
span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention
span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even
uncaring.

Attention Direction - If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say
someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so
that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and
slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the
conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.

Arms Folded / Legs Crossed - This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So
have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while
communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at
your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to
communications.

Head Shaking - This is fairly accurate. If people are shaking their heads while you speak, they
are in agreement. If they are shaking, “no,” disagreement reigns in their minds.

Space / Distance - On the whole, people like their own personal body space. Give people room
and keep out of their space. Entering to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive.

Leaning - Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested listener
leans toward the speaker.

Note others’ body language - While you are with others, note how their bodies read. If a
person suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking his head “no,” you’ve
probably lost him. Might try taking a step back and picking up where the conversation began
this turn for the negative and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!

Body Language : Body Language Signs

You can tell how someone is feeling by their body language signs. It’s useful to be able to read
people’s body language because what people say and what they feel are often not the same.
Studies have shown that of the information that we receive from other people: 10% is from
what they actually say; 40% is from the tone and speed of their voice; 50% is from their body
language.
Head (Body Language Signs)
 A tilted head symbolises interest in someone or something.
 A lowered head is a negative signal that communicates acceptance of defeat.
 Running fingers through hair can mean that someone is frustrated or that they're
preening themselves because they feel attractive.
 Fondling or patting down hair demonstrates insecurity and a lack of self-confidence.
 The occasional nod from a listener to a speaker is a positive message; it’s an indication
that they are listening and are interested.
 Too much nodding implies that a listener has lost interest, is not really listening and is
simply nodding to be polite.
 Touching or tugging an ear indicates indecision; though it’s also sometimes done when a
person is being untruthful.
  Someone may touch or slightly rub their nose if they are doubtful about what is being
said or if they are rejecting an idea.
 People often pinch the bridge of their nose and close their eyes when making a negative
evaluation.
 People place their hand on their cheek when they’re thinking or evaluating.
 A genuine smile engages the whole face (including the eyes) and is usually larger on the
right side.
 A false smile will often only engage the lips, and will be fairly symmetrical or larger on
the left side.
 A person stroking their chin is evaluating or making a decision.
 Projecting the chin towards another person demonstrates defiance or aggression.
 Clearing the throat or swallowing air is a sign of anxiety.
Eyes (Body Language Signs)
 Failing to look someone in the eyes displays a lack of confidence.
 Lowering the eyes is a sign of submission, fear or guilt.
 Staring is interpreted as aggression and implies a person feels dominant and powerful.
 Looking directly into another person’s eyes without staring signifies self-assurance.
 Sizing up a person by looking at them from head to toe is associated with assessing
them as either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner.
 Continual glancing at something or someone suggests a desire for that thing or person.
 Blink rate increases when someone is nervous or assessing something.
 Looking upwards and to the right indicates that someone is recalling a memory.
 Looking upwards and to the left implies that a person is using the imaginative / creative
part of their brain.
 When a person looks directly upwards they are thinking.
 A widening or brightening of a person’s eyes shows an increased interest in a situation /
conversation.
 People who feel insulted, caught-out or threatened, will likely break eye contact.
 A quick glance sideways during a conversation can be used to show irritation at the last
comment made.
 Eyes moving from side to side whilst talking suggest that what is being said is not meant
to be heard by other people.
 A person who consistently looks around them is bored with a situation / conversation.
Upper Body (Body Language Signs)
 Pushing the chest forward draws attention to it; for women this is seen as a provocative
romantic display whereas for men it’s a show of strength and power.
 A person may push their shoulders back to demonstrate their power and signify that
they don’t fear attack.
  A pulled back chest with forward curled shoulders is a defensive position taken by
people who want others to know that they are no threat to them.
 A person with folded / crossed arms is placing a barrier between themselves and their
surroundings; indicating that they’re not happy with what is being said or done.
 Open arms, particularly when combined with showing palms, mean that someone is
approachable and willing to communicate with others.
 Upward facing palms signify that a person’s defences are down and that they’re
speaking sincerely with an open heart.
 Outward, upward hand movements express an open and positive message.
 Open palms occasionally touching the chest imply honesty.
 Using hands with downward facing palms symbolises a calming action.
 A palm facing outwards towards someone signals to that person to stop what they are
doing or not come any closer.
 Positioning hands behind the back shows that someone is relaxed and comfortable;
though it can also be used on purpose to convey a message of power and confidence.
 Finger pointing is interpreted as either a sign of assertiveness or a sign of aggression.
 Tapping or drumming fingers communicates impatience or frustration.
 Biting fingernails represents insecurity and nervousness.
 Fiddling with items (e.g. keys or a pen) can be a sign of nerves or anxiety; alternatively it
may be done as a result of boredom or impatience.
 Interlinked fingers, finger tips touching or index fingers pressed together, are positive
gestures that show a person is thinking, evaluating or deciding.
 Sides of the palms close together with extended fingers (forming the shape of a plate) is
an action often used when offering thoughts or ideas to people.
 Fingers held together and curled upwards (forming the shape of a cup) is a gesture used
when someone is pleading for something.
 Touching the front of the neck symbolises concern about what another person is saying.
Lower Body (Body Language Signs)
 Walking briskly with an upright posture shows confidence.
 A normal, relaxed standing pose is with the feet positioned at shoulder width.
 The wider a person’s feet are positioned from each other, the more dominant and
powerful they feel.
 Standing with hands on hips expresses either readiness or aggression.
 Leaning back with the hips pushed forward is a provocative and suggestive gesture; it
can also signify that a person feels powerful.
 In a relaxed sitting pose, the thighs are typically slightly open, with legs running in
parallel from the hips.
 Sitting with legs open / apart means that a person is comfortable and is feeling secure in
their surroundings.
  Sitting legs may point (with knees or feet) at the most interesting person in a room or in
a person’s desired direction of travel (i.e. towards a door).
 Crossed legs can be either a negative, defensive position or a relaxed, comfortable one;
it depends on how tense a persons leg muscles are.
 Legs crossed towards someone suggest a greater level of interest in them than legs
crossed away from them.
 A slightly kicking / bouncing foot when sitting with crossed legs suggests boredom or
impatience.
 Crossing ankles is a sign of being fairly relaxed, especially when the legs are stretched
forward and the person is leaning back.
 The ‘figure-of-four cross’ occurs when one ankle is placed on top of the other legs' knee,
with the top leg's knee pointing sideways; this signals confidence and power.

BODY LANGUAGE

1. Begin by asking the consumer if they know what is meant by body language. If not, explain
that the way we hold our body when we are standing or sitting can tell other people about how
we feel. Body language is a non-verbal form of communication.

2. For example, if you don't want people to bother you when you don't feel well, what might
you do? You might sit with your back to other people. You might frown. You might fold your
arms across your chest and turn away if you are standing. Your posture - your body language -
tells other people that right now is not a good time to talk to you.

When a person turns away and pulls their shoulders together or folds their arms, we say that
their posture is "closed". This is a signal that they want to be left alone.

3. If you do want to talk to other people, you might turn towards them and lean in their
direction if you are sitting. If you are standing, you might face the person, look them in the eye,
and smile at them.

When a person faces you with their arms apart at their sides or reaching out towards you, we
say that their posture is "open". This is a signal that they want to interact with you.

4. It is important to learn to read other people's body language. If you invade the personal
space of someone who really doesn't want to be bothered, besides annoying them, you could
possibly get hit by them.

5. If someone's back is to you and you want to talk to them, how do you know if they don't
want to talk to you, or if maybe they can't hear and don't even know you are there? You might
touch them lightly on the shoulder to let them know you are there. What would you do if they
turned and saw you, but then turned away from you with a frown on their face? That's
probably a good time to back away and leave them alone. If they turn towards you and smile,
that's a good time to talk to them.

6. Reading body language is sometimes our best guess at what a person is communicating. A
person might smile at you to be polite even when they don't want you to bother them. They
might shake hands with you when meeting you to be polite, but they still might not want to talk
to you. Watch their body language. Do they turn away from you and "close" their body? What
does that tell you? Do they face you and appear "open"?

7. If you suspect that someone doesn't want to be bothered, but you aren't sure, it is always
polite to ask - "Would you like to visit later?" or, "Is this a good time?" Generally, people will let
you know if it is a good time. It is really important to pay attention to the body language of
people who cannot speak. Remember, their behavior, how they act, is a form of
communication. What are they telling you?

The experts say that non-verbal communication is as important as verbal, if not, more so.

When talking about non-verbal, body language, be careful not to use this information as hard
and fast rules that apply to everybody all the time.

If team members appear bored, angry, or frustrated, then they probably are!

This leads to examining the congruence between body language and verbal language. For
example, laughing while describing a very painful experience is incongruent behavior and
hard to do. Try it. This incongruence indicates that something is amiss.

It's also important to be attuned to cultural differences in body language that could be
present among your group. So as always, when in doubt, check out your perceptions with
your people.

Effective leaders need to be conscious of the power of their own body language. For
instance, using open posture; standing where you can be seen by all; moving deliberately and
for a purpose; using gestures to strengthen or enhance your communication; not using
podiums or other objects to hide behind; making regular eye contact with everyone; and
being expressive, amplifying what you are feeling and saying with your facial expressions.

Positive Body Language Negative Body Language

Direct eye contact (no staring) Eye contact not met
Warm, open smile (teeth revealed) Tight or no smile
Nodding Down and away or dropped glances
Head tilted Not fully facing, at an angle
Open, inclusive gestures (palms Leaning away
showing) Hunched shoulders
Fully facing others Too-stiff posture
Leaning forward Weak handshake
Upright but relaxed posture Chin into chest
Firm handshake Arms crossed or Legs crossed
Double hand clasp handshake Body sagging
Feet firmly planted Legs outstretched while seated
Chin up Absent-minded gazes
Sitting forward Staring
Eyebrow flash upon greeting Fidgeting

Arms:

The easiest parts of the body to read in conversation and dialogue are also the most used and
yet we have little notice of how we are moving them. This makes it perfect for us to use the
hands and arms to see how someone is thinking and feeling about us.

Clasically, arms folded suggests either disinterest and someone wants to leave or else they just
are sceptical about what we think. They can also show stand offishness as they almost form a
physical barrier between us and the other conversant.

Hands gripping upper arms shows they are feeling defensive about whatever is being said and
often don't believe what is being said.

Arms unfolded however throughout suggests more openness and even positivity about both
themselves and the conversation.

Rubbing hands together is classically associated with joy or glee or even perhaps greed, in
general it shows either excitement or positivity so is a good sign.

Copying body language is called mirroring.

This can be a good way of relating to others as it is something we do naturally when we feel a
rapport or natural connection and comfort around someone.
Therefore watch others in meetings - if they naturally mirror the sort of body language that you
display, then you know that they are at one and at ease and generally comfortable around you.

However in a meeting with 'brand new' people mirroring is sometimes done because they have
read a book on NLP or similar and are trying to build a relationship insincerely.

Therefore if someone mirrors you too quickly and too well, then be on your guard. If someone
is genuinely using natural mirroring then you probably won't realise it is happening!

Eyes:

It may sound odd, but often you can tell how far someone is engaged - or not - in a
conversation through the state of the eyes.

The reason for this is that, when interested, the pupils often get larger and in contrast when
they are dis-interested, they sometimes get smaller.
So, if you want to see if someone's body language is showing interest or dis-interest then why
not take a look at the eyes.

Of course the eyes of everyone vary so you will need to know someone fairly well to get used to
detecting subtle changes before using this method of reading their thoughts and feelings.

Handshake:

If someone has a really strong hand shake then that means that they are either a very powerful
person, but more often that they want to impose their mark or even have a dominant
personality so watch out.

On the other hand if they barely grip your hand at all but are limp almost then it shows that
there is either apathy going on - they are not interested, or simply have a weaker personality
and persona which is not a good sign.

Just right is a firm but not too hard handshake, and is quick and correct. Some people also try
the trick of gripping your arm with their other hand whilst shaking.

Why do this?

Well, it is something that really good friends might do and therefore is supposed to convey that
they are really sincere and so forth... watch out if done cynically!

Holding The Chin And Scratching The Neck

If someone holds their chin without resting their arm on the desk, then it shows that they are
thinking hard and trying to concentrate.

However, if they are effectively propping their head up by anchoring the other arm on the desk,
then this rather shows that they are simply disinterested or bored in what is being discussed.

Contrast this with scratching the neck which indicates that they are stimulated and interested,
and rubbing of the neck and surrounding area again shows interest and engagement but
perhaps a little bit of nerves too.

Who thought that body language could communicate so much? The savvy reader of body
language can accurately read moods and find out a lot about people merely from the way that
they use their bodies and physicality irrespective of what they actually say!

Legs:

The position of someones legs in a conversation can also tell you a little bit about them and
their mood.

If they sit crossed legs (and are not a woman wearing a skirt) then it may show withdrawnness
and lack of interest or even defensiveness in the conversation and meeting in general.

However, if they lift an ankle on top of the leg, around the knee area then this can show some
sort of enthusiasm for what is being discussed and on occasion even competition, whilst if they
use their hand on top too this suggests sticking firm and digging in on their particular viewpoint
or position.

Pointing:

The way in which the body literally points can also be a good clue to the thoughts and feelings
of any member of a group or conversation. Here's how it works:

We naturally face the person we feel most comfortable around or even feel sympathy with or
some sort of other link - and vice versa with other people, too.

Therefore if someone is rather facing the door in a meeting it may be that all is not going well.

However, if someone faces you then it shows that they are comfortable around you; whilst
again a chair turned away shows something more negative. The standard chair straight ahead
suggests merely neutrality.

Be conscious of how your pointing and positioning demonstrates to others about your own
thoughts and feelings about them and be sure not to show disinterest through pointing where
possible.

Posture

The way that people actually walk and the physical way they walk can actually tell us a great
deal about that person, and even sub consciously help us form opinions of them.

If someone walks tall and upright, and have eyes looking right ahead that indicates someone
who is both confident in themselves and of course healthy.

In contrast someone looking down or with slackened shoulders suggests less positive things:
either health problems like a bad back or shyness and so on.

Think about it: when you pass someone on the street, if they are slouched and looking down as
opposed to walking tall and confident the perception you have will be different.

The bottom line: hold your head up high and walk with good posture - there are health benefits
to this, too.

Touching the Nose:

Touching the nose is often said to be a sign or signal that the person is either feeling
uncomfortable with regard what they are saying at a particular moment in time, or alternatively
that there is a little lying going on from them.

However you need to exercise caution if you simply think someone is lying when scratching
their nose, as it can also show that - well - they have an itchy nose!

And of course sometimes when not comfortable or fidgety people will naturally do something
like this without realizing it.

Understanding personal space:

Psychologists or similar have decreed that there are four zones of so-called 'personal space'
which is the space, surprisingly enough, around us.

These four arbitrary zones are agreed to be as follows:

- intimate
- personal
- social and
- public

Clearly when they designed these personal spaces they hadn't been on the London
Underground, but the core idea is that the higher up the list, the closer other people can come
to you without you feeling uncomfortable.

And that's why personal space is important.

You can use this personal space factor to see how comfortable others are around you - if they
keep your distance versus coming closer then they are unlikely to be feeling at all comfortable
around you.

Similarly you should be conscious of not invading the personal space of others, whilst at the
same time not being too stand-offish.

Knowing whether you're successfully connecting with someone not only saves a lot of time and
energy, but can help you redeem an iffy situation from the snapping jaws of oblivion.

John blew it because he didn't consciously read the meaning of his client's sudden shift to a
guarded posture, or recognize that his fidgeting and loss of eye contact were sure-fire clues
that his interest was slipping away. Had John been sharper, he could have posed a couple of
pertinent questions well before he lost the client's attention. He could have gotten the man
talking and involved, and probably reclaimed his chance to snag the account.

By paying careful attention to body language, and noticing when someone makes a sudden
transition from one attitude to another, you'll have a good idea of what the other person is
thinking - whether or not that's what he or she is saying.

If, for example, a boss, co-worker or client moves from an open, undefended posture to a more
untrusting position, be aware that you're turning him or her off and should change your
approach. You might elaborate on the topic that elicited supportive gestures and steer clear of
stuff that shuts your listener down. Or you might reframe your whole presentation, broaching
troublesome content another time, in another manner.

By watching out for the following cues, you can gauge how well you're relating to another
person. And if you deliberately emphasize some of these gestures yourself (without looking like
you're "posing"), you'll convey strong messages without having to utter a single word.

* Open palms: sincerity, openness, receptivity

* Leaning closer: interest, comfort
* Leaning away: discomfort with the facts being presented or the person presenting them
* Nodding: interest, agreement and understanding
* A relaxed posture: openness to communication
* Arms crossed over chest: defensiveness, guardedness, resistance
* Gesturing warmly or talking with hands: interest and involvement in the conversation
* Hand to cheek: evaluating, considering
* Hands clasped behind back: anger, frustration
* Sitting with hands clasped behind head: arrogance, superiority (except in long-standing
relationships)
* Tapping or drumming fingers: impatience, annoyance
* Steepling fingers: closing off, creating a barrier
* Fidgeting: boredom, nervousness or impatience
* Hand over mouth: generally negative; often denotes disapproval or reluctance to speak
openly
* Clutching objects tightly: anxiety, nervous anticipation

Standing tall

It isn't enough just to understand other people's body language - controlling your own
nonverbal signals can improve your image and increase your success. If you want to appear
confident, open and in control, practice these moves in front of a mirror until they're second
nature:

* Walk with a brisk, easy stride, eyes forward.