'Swonderful! LIBRETTO (A)

6/1/11 Page 1
'SWONDERFUL!
'SWONDERFUL!
The New Gershwin Musical
The Extraordinary Worlds

of
George and Ira Gershwin

Music and Lyrics by
GEORGE and IRA GERSHWIN
Conceived and Written by Musical Arrangements by
RAY RODERICK RICK HIP-FLORES
Directed by
RAY RODERICK
3rd Draft 6.1.11

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CONCEPT
’S Wonderful! The New Gershwin Musical is an all singing, all dancing revue
that celebrates the genius of George and Ira Gershwin with 5 mini-musicals and
includes over 40 of their most beloved songs. Each mini-musical stars one of
our 5 performers, and is inspired by and real events that happened in and
around the lives of the Gershwin brothers illustrating their impact on the world
then and now. With musical arrangements and orchestrations that pay homage
to the brilliance of George Gershwin himself, each mini-musical travels the
audience to different places, times and musical styles…New York City in the
nineteen twenties, Paris in the 30’s, Hollywood of the 40’s, New Orleans in the
50’s and somewhere in the world today! From the black and white of the 88
keys of a piano to the glorious romance of a Technicolor, each scene tips its hat
to the musical genres that made and continue to make the Gershwin brothers
the most successful songwriting team in the history of popular music.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(Working Names – MGM Prototypes for Writing Purposes Only)
HAROLD (LLOYD) – Male, Singer/Dancer and physical comedian a la silent

movie genre. He is the centerpiece of the New York City story.
NINA (MAE MCKINNEY) – Female, Singer/mover, possibly African American.
Mature. She is the central character in the 1950’s New Orleans story.
LESLIE (CARON) – Female Singer and beautiful dancer. She is the
centerpiece of the American in Paris Story from her (woman’s) point of view.
JANE (POWELL) – Female Singer/Dancer and strong comedian. She is the
centerpiece of the 1940’s Hollywood story.
GENE (KELLY) – Male Singer and athletic dancer. He is the central character in
the contemporary story.
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The Structure
and
THE MINI-MUSICALS
5 Characters
Locations
Love Stories
Act I
‘S Wonderful - Opening
Nice Work
Harold’s story…1924 New York City. In a heartfelt and slapstick/vaudeville-style, paying
homage to comedic silent movie stars of the 1920’s…a newspaper typesetter’s desire for love
allows him shatter his black and white existence and discover a world of romance and color.
Of Thee I Sing
Nina’s story…1957 New Orleans. A cabaret singer reconciles with her best friend,
discovering the love of home and friendship…in The City of New Orleans.
An American in Paris
Leslie’s story…1939 Paris. A young café Parisian waitress and an American sailor discover
that their “Love is Here To Stay”…even through and beyond the time and trials of WWII.
Act II
Funny Face
Jane’s story…1948 Hollywood. A makeup artist, who makes those around her look
beautiful, discovers her own real value, and for the first time, sees the beauty in herself
opening her heart to the possibilities of love.
He Loves and She Loves

Gene’s story…today from coast to coast. Separated by 3000 miles, a young man, with a
little modern technology and the favorite songs of his Grandmother…songs of George and Ira
Gershwin…connects with his girlfriend in a way he never expected, allowing them to say
exactly what they couldn’t say for themselves, and taking their relationship to a whole new
and inevitable place.
‘S Wonderful – Finale
Including some of the songs we didn’t yet sing…but want to!
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The Songs
Act I Act II
Overture – Vocal Prologue Entr’acte

Rhapsody in Blue
‘S Wonderful Funny Face
Funny Face
Nice Work Heaven on Earth
Nice Work If You Can Get It Do It Again
I Got Rhythm – Typing montage Do, Do, Do
Boy Wanted Nobody But You
Sweet and Low Down (Silent Chase) They All Laughed
Soon Boy, What Love Has Done To Me
Stairway to Paradise Isn’t It A Pity?
Kickin’ the Clouds Away Funny Face – Reprise
Nice Work - Reprise
I’ve Got a Crush On You He Loves and She Loves
Nice Work/I Got Rhythm –Reprise Lady Be Good and Medley of Songs
Swanee
Of Thee I Sing Someone To Watch Over Me
The Man I Love They Can’t Take That Away From Me
My Cousin In Milwaukee Shall We Dance
Of Thee I Sing I’ve Got Beginners Luck
There’s a Boat Dat’s Leavin’ Embraceable You
Soon for New York Rhapsody in Blue – Dénouement – Reprise
By Strauss
A Foggy Day Bows/Finale
Just Another Rhumba I Got Rhythm – Repise/Bows
Summertime Slap That Bass – Reprise with Vocal
It Ain’t Necessarily So I Got Rhythm – Tag/Finale Ultimo
Of Thee I Sing – Repise
Exit Music
An American in Paris Medley of Songs - Reprises
Somebody from Somewhere
Somebody Loves Me
Fascinating Rhythm
Strike Up The Band
Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off
Strike Up The Band – Reprise
Love is Here To Stay
An American in Paris (Ballet)
Love is Here To Stay – Reprise
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ACT I
‘S WONDERFUL – OPENING
♪ Rhapsody in Blue – Overture/Intro

♪ ‘S Wonderful – Prologue
♪ RECORDING – “‘S Wonderful” – as if from a vintage/scratchy record
album…as underscoring for following dialogue in…
LESLIE crosses to DSC into a pool of light.
LESLIE
(Holding rose, as if speaking to GENE, her grandson, in final scene)
I wanted to give you something of mine…all my old record albums with all my favorite songs.
But then I realized you don’t have a record player. How would you play them? But, rest
assured, that in this modern age, I found a way to get them to you. You should have them
now. So, if you want, you can share them with your friend. They’re all songs of love…songs
of love that inspire stories of love.
NINA, GENE, HAROLD and JANE enter. They are all dressed in their specific
costumes for characters in the stories for which they are the centerpiece.
LESLIE picks up rose from piano on her way by.
♪ A brief Rhapsody in Blue interlude
A pool of light comes up center stage. They take turns stepping into it as they
sing their “want”…in character, with a few lines from their signature song.
HAROLD
(In boater, looking at newspaper)
HOLDING HANDS AT MIDNIGHT
‘NEATH THE STARRY SKY
NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT
AND YOU CAN GET IT IF YOU TRY
♪ A brief Rhapsody in Blue interlude…
NINA
(Looking at postcards)
OF THEE I SING, BABY,
YOU HAVE GOT THAT CERTAIN THING, BABY
JANE
(Looking at herself in hand mirror)
I LOVE YOUR FUNNY FACE
YOUR SUNNY FUNNY FACE
THOUGH YOU’RE A CUTIE
WITH MORE THAN BEAUTY
YOU’VE GOT…
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GENE
(Looking at his PDA)
I’VE GOT BEGINNER’S LUCK
THE FIRST TIME THAT I’M IN LOVE
I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU
NINA
HAROLD
JANE
LESLIE
IN TIME THE ROCKIES MAY CRUMBLE
GIBRALTAR MAY TUMBLE
THEIR ONLY MADE OF CLAY
BUT OUR LOVE IS HERE
MEN
OUR LOVE IS HERE
ALL
OUR LOVE IS HERE
MEN
TO STAY
WOMEN
‘S WONDERFUL
MEN
‘S WONDERFUL
WOMEN
'S MARVELLOUS
MEN
'S MARVELLOUS
ALL
YOU SHOULD CARE FOR ME!
WOMEN
'S AWFUL NICE
MEN
'S AWFUL NICE
WOMEN
'S PARADISE
MEN
'S PARADISE
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ALL
'S WHAT I LOVE TO SEE.
WOMEN (MEN AHHH)
YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE SO GLAMOROUS
YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR FEELING AMOROUS!
ALL
OH 'S WONDERFUL, 'S MARVELLOUS,
THAT YOU SHOULD CARE FOR ME!
THAT YOU SHOULD CARE FOR
THAT YOU SHOULD CARE FOR
ALL exit, leaving HAROLD alone, center stage, in the pool of light.
HAROLD
ME.
♪ “Rhapsody in Blue” underscoring as segue to
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NICE WORK
Songs in “Nice Work” section:

Nice Work If You Can Get It
I Got Rhythm – typing montage
Boy Wanted
Sweet and Low Down (Silent “Stalk-Chase”)
Soon
Stairway to Paradise
Kickin’ the Clouds Away
Nice Work If You Can Get It – Reprise
I’ve Got a Crush On You
I Got Rhythm - Reprise
New York City, 1928
Projection: New York City, 1928
♪ Underscoring in…Intro to “Nice Work”
A Pool of light fades up center stage on HAROLD, a young newspaper

typesetter/copy boy…and wannabe investigative reporter. A la “Harold Lloyd”,
he very simply, puts on a boater and straightens his bow tie. Referring to his
newspaper from time to time, he observes the world around him…
♪ Nice Work If You Can Get It

HAROLD
THE MAN WHO ONLY LIVE FOR MAKING MONEY
LIVES A LIFE THAT ISN'T NECESSARILY SUNNY
LIKEWISE THE MAN WHO WORKS FOR FAME –
THERE'S NO GUARANTEE THAT TIME
WON'T ERASE HIS NAME
(Starting to look at newspaper)
THE FACT IS
THE ONLY WORK THAT REALLY BRINGS ENJOYMENT
IS THE KIND THAT IS FOR GIRL AND BOY MEANT
FALL IN LOVE -- YOU WON'T REGRET IT.
THAT'S THE BEST WORK OF ALL -- IF YOU CAN GET IT
Front page news! Investigative reporter Mike Slade cracks the crime of the decade by
cleverly masquerading as the victim’s fiancé. In strange a turn of events, Mike Slade, has
resigned his position as the Tibune’s lead investigative reporter in order to spend more time
with the victim…
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(Swooning)
…the beautiful Lady Whimsby!
(To Himself)
Mike Slade…cracks the crime and gets the girl…and their picture on the front page.
(A dilemma)
Wait a minute. Who’s gonna crack the crimes and who’s gonna get the girl?
(Lightbulb)
I’ve got it. I’ll become the next Mike Slade investigative Reporter. Scandal, Mystery,
romance!
HAROLD closes newspaper and dreams as the others create newspaper office
around him.
'NEATH A STARRY SKY...
OH THAT IS NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT
AND YOU CAN GET IT -- IF YOU TRY
STROLLING WITH THE ONE GIRL

SIGHING SIGH AFTER SIGH
GENE, NINA and JANE enter with (cubes) typing desks, as LESLIE, a sassy
flapper, enters and struts by HAROLD, who is smitten.
GENE
(Taking HAROLD’s newspaper)
Get to work!
ALL
JUST IMAGINE SOMEONE
WAITING AT THE COTTAGE DOOR
WHERE TWO HEARTS BECOME ONE
HAROLD
(Reaching toward LESLIE as she exits)
WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE?
GENE
Time is money!
ALL
LOVING ONE WHO LOVES YOU
AND THEN TAKING THAT VOW
AND IF YOU GET IT
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HAROLD
WON’T YOU TELL ME HOW
♪ Segue to…
♪ “I Got Rhythm – Typing Montage

GENE
(Lines during typing montage…and lined up with “dance”)
All right, typesetters…start typing!
HAROLD sits with NINA and JANE in front of their “typewriters” and start typing
rhythmically as GENE, as Newspaper boss, barks orders to his typists. Sounds
and actions…Typing, Bells, carriages returning…papers flying.
HAROLD hands GENE the finished copy.
Number buttons.
♪ Underscoring in…“Nice Work”
GENE
(Looking at the copy)
Nice work, typesetters. You never let me down.
HAROLD
Then give me a shot at being an investigative reporter.
GENE
And lose my best typesetter?
HAROLD
I could be the next Mike Slade…scandal, mystery, romance…I was born for it. Understanding
the mind of the criminal…it’s in my blood. Why, even now, I have an uncle that’s doing 10 to
20.
GENE
What for?
HAROLD
Counterfeiting 10’s and 20’s.
GENE
No.
HAROLD
Aw come on, just get me a chance. One assignment. One case…I’ll break it wide open and
give you a front page story to put all the other papers at the curb. Think how many papers
you’ll sell. What do you say?
GENE
(Pointing to his “desk”)

I say, I can’t give up my best typesetter. You’ve got 15 minutes until lunch; now, get to work!
GENE exits.
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♪ Underscoring…“Nice Work”
GENE re-enters, leading LESLIE, a flapper/shop girl, toward HAROLD.
♪ Mechanical musical Underscoring in… “Concerto in F”
GENE
(Flirting and showing off)
Ahh…Looking for love in these modern times…well, you have come to the right place. This is
our classified section. And, may I say, it is truly refreshing to see you “young gals” taking
charge of your love life. Now, don’t worry.
(Escorting LESLIE to HAROLD, at his “desk”)
We’ll get your advertisement in our paper. I’ll just take you directly to one of my trusty
typesetters, and you’ll see your lovely little ad in tomorrow’s morning edition. Just read your
copy to my copy boy and he’ll take it all down.
(To HAROLD)
Word for word.
(To LESLIE)
I’ll give you great placement.
♪ Intro to “Boy Wanted” in…
LESLIE pulls out a crumpled piece of paper with the copy she’s written for her
classified personal ad. She starts off shyly, and becomes more and more sultry
as she sings. HAROLD pulls out his steno pad and pencil to write down what
she’s saying. He follows her around as she sings…remaining just upstage. She
doesn’t see his “antics.”
♪ Boy Wanted
LESLIE
(Referring to piece of paper she’s holding)
I'VE JUST FINISHED WRITING AN ADVERTISEMENT
CALLING FOR A BOY.
HAROLD raises his hand. LESLIE doesn’t see him.
NO HALF-HEARTED ROMEO OR FLIRT IS MEANT;
THAT'S THE KIND I'D NOT EMPLOY.
THOUGH ANYBODY INTERESTED CAN APPLY
HAROLD stands.
HE MUST KNOW A THING OR TWO TO QUALIFY.
FOR INSTANCE:
LESIE turns to HAROLD…he sits.
LESLIE reads/sings her copy from a piece of paper. HAROLD “acts out” all of
her “desires” regarding the boy she is looking for in her ad. He is just upstage of
her, as he imagines he might be a good fit good fit. She does not see him.
HE MUST BE ABLE TO DANCE.
HAROLD’S stands and dances a bit…sits back down.
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HE MUST MAKE LIFE A ROMANCE.

HAROLD swoons, getting up from chair and crosses towards LESLIE.
I SAID A BOY WANTED,
ONE WHO CAN SMILE;
HAROLD smiles on belltone.
BOY WANTED, LOVABLE STYLE.
HE MUST BE TENDER AND TRUE

LESLIE gestures just missing HAROLD’s head…he ducks, steps to other side.
AND HE MUST KNOW HOW TO WOO
LESLIE gestures with other arm…HAROLD ducks, crawls to other side.
I KNOW WE’LL GET AQUAINTED MIGHTY SOON
OUT IN A GARDEN ‘NEATH THE HARVEST MOON
Just as HAROLD stands, LESLIE twirls with both arms out…HAROLD ducks.
AND IF HE PROVES TO BE THE RIGHT LITTLE LADDIE
I’LL MAKE HIM GLAD HE ANSWERED MY AD
LESLIE helps HAROLD up.
(Dancing, as HAROLD imitates)
HE MUST LIKE MUSICAL SHOWS
AND HE MUST WEAR SNAPPY CLOTHES
Harold straightens his tie.
I SAID A BOY WANTED
ONE WHO LIKES BOOKS
LESLIE pokes HAROLD’s head.
BOY WANTED
NEEDN’T HAVE LOOKS
HAROLD…take front.
(Romantic and slower)
HE MUST KNOW HOW TO SAY "YES!"
HAROLD nods yes.
WHEN I LOOK AT A NEW DRESS.
(To HAROLD)
What can I say? I like pretty things.
HAROLD nods even more.
(Strut)
OH, I'LL BE READY WHEN THE RIGHT ONE CALLS,
AND I'LL START VAMPING HIM UNTIL HE FALLS;
YES, IF HE PROVES TO BE THE RIGHT LITTLE LADDIE,
(Tempo)
I'LL MAKE HIM GLAD HE ANSWERED
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HIM GLAD HE ANSWERED

HIM GLAD HE ANSWERED MY AD
Underscoring in as HAROLD types and LESLIE talks a mile a minute.
LESLIE
Got all that?
HAROLD nods his head yes.
Button…applause.
♪ Sweet underscoring in…“Boy Wanted”
Harold starts typing the ad. LESLIE talks and she is a bit of a motor-mouth.
Your boss said it was a penny a word…seems a bit high to me, but I’m feeling confident it will
all pay off. Thank goodness I’m working. I have a wonderful job. At a big department store.
In the bridal department. I sell wedding gowns. Of course, there is a problem selling wedding
gowns. The only people I meet are girls…girls in love. They’re all so happy…makes me sad.
But it’s nice work. It really is nice work for a girl. Don’t you think?
HAROLD nods his head yes.
(Counting words)
So, let’s see, one hundred and eighty eight words. That’s One dollar and eighty eight cents.
(Pulling two dollars from her purse)
Here’s two dollars.
HAROLD starts to take the money.
(Pulling the money back and crossing away)
I was going to spend this money to buy a ticket to see a movie…I love comedies…Charlie
Chaplin, Buster Keaton…
(Crossing back to HAROLD)
…and my favorite…Harold Lloyd. I think they’re really funny, don’t you?
HAROLD nods yes as he continues to type.
And the stories are always about love…and I think I’d feel sad watching a love story and
being all alone. So, here’s two dollars…
HAROLD finishes typing and pulls out the paper as underscoring finishes.
HAROLD
(Handing LESLIE the paper and taking the money)
You have to proof the copy first.
LESLIE crosses DC and reads as GENE enters.
GENE
This just in on the ticker. The chic thief has struck again. And right here in our
neighborhood…The Chic thief. This time the thief has stolen a line of high fashion women’s
dresses, matching accessories and a string of priceless Persian pearls. Here’s the
description of the thief.
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HAROLD, standing upstage, sizes up LESLIE, thinking she’s the thief. He

becomes physically more and more emphatic about his realization about her
matching the description.
Female, very pretty, 20-30, 5’ 5”, hair brown, eyes hazel, last seen wearing a (blue dress with
yellow polka dots and matching hat). Damn. Just when I let Mike Slade leaves the
Tribune…and all the other investigative reporters are on lunch. The Chic Thief, right here in
our neighborhood and I miss the scoop.
LESLIE
(Having finished proofreading the copy, and handing the paper to GENE)
Perfect…word for word.
(To GENE referring to HAROLD)
He’s very good.
LESLIE exits.
HAROLD
(On LESLIE’S trail)
I’ll be back after lunch.
GENE
Oh, and I’ve got an assignment for you.
HAROLD
An assignment. My big chance. What is it, boss?
GENE
Bring me back a ham on rye.
HAROLD
(Disappointed)
Ham on Rye?
GENE
Ham on Rye!
HAROLD
(With tremendous passion for his scheme)
You got it! I won’t let you down!
HAROLD exits.
♪ Exit flourish into…
GENE
(Throwing HAROLD’s hat to him…into the wings)
With mustard!
♪ Sweet and Low Down (Stalk/Chase)

♪ Silent-movie-style underscoring in, as “silent movie” montage begins. (Strobe
or lobster-scope effect)
HAROLD tries to keep up with LESLIE, as a series slapstick bits occur a la

Harold Lloyd.
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LESLIE enters. Like a sleuth, HAROLD follows her in a silent-movie-style…she

stops, he stops…she looks right, he looks right, etc…
HAROLD
(Writing on pad)
Female subject walks north and crosses Broadway.
♪ Belltone…Music tacit
J-walking. Ha!
(To himself)
Mike Slade, eat your heart out.
♪ Music in…
HAROLD stops.
(Point to paper LESLIE dropped)
What’s this?
♪ Belltone…Music tacit
Littering.
(To himself)
That’s a crime too.
♪ Music in…
HAROLD continues following LESLIE.

(Writing on pad)
Picks up newspaper from newsstand. Not ours. Takes it without paying.
(To himself)
♪ Belltone…Music tacit.
That’s stealing. She is the thief! The Chic Thief.
♪ Music in…
The OTHERS, dressed in trench coats and hats enter as if in Trolley

Car…LESLIE “gets in” followed by HAROLD…trolley car bit. HAROLD and
LESLIE are pushed together by others. HAROLD enjoys it…but tries not to be
seen. LESLIE “gets off trolley” and exits L. The OTHERS exit R a la trolley car,
with HAROLD is stuck on trolley…and jumps off just before he gets to the wings.
HAROLD, alone on stage, doesn’t know which way to go and exits R, as

LESLIE enters L with wedding two wedding gowns, that she hands out to
customers (NINA and JANE), who have entered R.
LESLIE
(Entering with four wedding gowns over her arms)
Welcome to the bridal department, ladies, where we make all your wedding dreams come
true.
LESLIE hands a wedding gown to each girl. They hold them up in front of
themselves to see which one they like best.
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♪ Soon
LESLIE, NINA & JANE
SOON, THE LONELY NIGHTS WILL BE ENDED
SOON, TWO HEARTS AS ONE WILL BE BLENDED
I’VE FOUND THE HAPPINESS I’VE WAITED FOR
THE ONLY GUY THAT I WAS FATED FOR
LESLIE brings rack of wedding dresses on from R. HAROLD is hiding in a
dress on rack. LESLIE hands new wedding dresses to NINA and JANE, who
put them on. LESLIE zips them up.
OH SOON, A LITTLE COTTAGE WILL FIND US SAFE
WITH ALL OUR CARES FAR BEHIND US
THE DAY YOU’RE MINE, THIS WOULD WILL BE IN TUNE
LET’S MAKE THIS DAY COME SOON
♪ Musical interlude as NINA and JANE spin the rack of gowns.
LESLIE
(Dreamily)
Oh, you girls are so luck to have found your everlasting love. Perhaps, someday, I too will
find mine.
LESLIE pulls the rack away. HAROLD is revealed in a wedding gown. A vale
covers his face.
WOMEN
OH SOON, OUR LITTLE SHIP WILL COME SAILING
HOME THROUGH EVERY STORM, NEVER FAILING,
THE DAY YOU'RE MINE THIS WORLD WILL BE IN TUNE,
LET'S MAKE THAT DAY COME
LESLIE
SOON
JANE
SOON
NINA
SOON
HAROLD
(Starting low…then sliding up the octave)
SOON
The “girls” pose. Button…applause.
LESLIE
Ah, girls…you all look stunning…just stunning. Now brides, you must learn to glide with
elegance down the aisle. One at a time please…let’s all to glide, shall we?
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♪ Stairway to Paradise
LESLIE
BEGIN TODAY. YOU'LL FIND IT NICE:
THE QUICKEST WAY TO PARADISE.
WHEN YOU PRACTICE,
HERE'S THE THING TO DO-
SIMPLY SAY AS YOU GO:
LESLIE WITH JANE
(LESLIE escorts JANE, as she “struts” in her gown)
I'LL BUILD A STAIRWAY TO PARADISE,
WITH A NEW STEP EV'RY DAY.
LESLIE
Good and next…
LESLIE WITH NINA
(LESLIE escorts NINA as she “struts” in her gown)
I'M GOING TO GET THERE AT ANY PRICE;
STAND ASIDE, I'M ON MY WAY!
LESLIE
And you…go.
LESLIE WITH HAROLD
(LESLIE escorts HAROLD as he “struts,” trying not to be found out…in his gown)
I GOT THE BLUES,
AND UP ABOVE IT'S SO FAIR;
(Trying to cover his black shoes)
SHOES,
GO ON AND CARRY ME THERE!
ALL
I'LL BUILD A STAIRWAY TO PARADISE
WITH A NEW STEP EV'RY DAY.
The “girls’ throw their bouquets.
LESLIE
(Getting caught up)
All our wedding gowns are designed with the modern bide in mind. You’ll dance the all
newest crazes with one simple adjustment.
They pull a ribbon that makes the wedding gowns shorter to Charleston.
LESLIE pulls HAROLD’s ribbon exposing his black shoes, socks and garters.
A five, six, seven, eight!
♪ Musical Intro in…a very hot jazzy 1920’s intro.
♪ Kickin’ The Clouds Away

ALL
COME ON ALONG!
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YOU CAN’T GO WRONG!

KICKIN’ THE CLOUDS AWAY
KEEP MAKIN’ HAY
BE WISE AND TAKE IT TO HEART
AND YOU WILL LAUGH FROM THE START
TO THE END OF A PERFECT DAY
GET IN THE SWING!

GIVE IT A FLING!
LIVE WHILE YOU CAN
SHOUTIN’ A BIG “HEY! HEY!”
IT’S NOT SO EASY TO DO
WHAT OF IT?
FOR WHEN YOU’RE THROUGH
(Shouted)
YOU’LL LOVE IT!
(Sung)
FOLLOW THE DANCIN’ CROWDS
AND KICK THE CLOUDS AWAY!
WOMEN
GET SWING!
GIVE FLING!
KICKIN’ THE COUDS AWAY
HAROLD
(Having hurt his back…holding his back)
OOH, OW! OOH, OW!
WOMEN
New Step!
(Turing HAROLD’s injury move into a dance step)
LIVE WHILE YOU MAY
SHOUTIN’ A BIG HEY, HEY!
OOH! OW! OOH! OW!
IT’S NOT SO EASY TO DO

WHAT OF IT?
FOR WHEN YOU’RE THROUGH
YOU’LL LOVE IT!

AND KICK THE CLOUDS
AND KICK THE CLOUDS
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AND KICK THE CLOUDS AWAY!
YEA!
On button of number, HAROLD falls on the floor. His vale comes off revealing
that he is a man...and his identity.
NINA AND JANE

(Ad libs and running off)
…a man…in the dressing room…ahhh……
LESLIE
(Shouting to NINA and JANE, who are offstage)
You can take your gowns to our tailoring department for pickup on Friday. I’ll be happy to
give you an additional ten percent off. Remember, no other store in New York have these
dresses. They’re one of a kind.
(To HAROLD)
You! What do you think you’re doing?
HAROLD
My job. And what do you think you’re doing?
LESLIE
My job. And thanks to you, I just lost two sales.
HAROLD AND LESLIE
(Shouting for backup)
Security!!!!
(To each other)
Don’t move.
They stare at each other.
COP - STORE SECURITY (JANE)

(Entering)
What is it? What’s going on?
LESLIE
Following me.
COP (JANE)
You know him?
LESLIE
Well no, I mean yes, I mean I just met him. He works at The Tribune as a copyboy.
HAROLD
Investigative reporter. And the jigs up. I’ve been on her for the last hour like flies on milk. I
got the scoop. You’ve heard of the Chic Thief?
6/1/11 Page 20
COP
Who hasn’t?
HAROLD
(Indicating LESLIE)
Well?
LESLIE
What?
HAROLD
(Taking security cops handcuffs and putting them on LESLIE)
Just get the Tribune over here. I got the scoop.
(Handcuffing himself to her)
I’m not letting this one get away.
COP (JANE)
Wow…an inside job. We’ve finally got her.
(Referring to HAROLD handcuffing)
Hey, that’s my job.
HAROLD
Just get the Tribune here fast and make sure they bring a photographer…we’ll all make the
front page.
COP (JANE)
(Starting off)
Front page…wow!
HAROLD
(To LESLIE)
…and I’ll make investigative reporter.
COP
(Running back)
And here’s the key…you may need this.
HAROLD takes key before LESLIE can grab it.
♪ Belltone…underscoring in…
COP (JANE) exits, leaving HAROLD and LESLIE alone and handcuffed
together. HAROLD has key…LESLIE tries to grab it.
♪ Nice Work – Reprise

HAROLD
(Inner monologue … Looking at handcuffs, ironic, and proud of himself)
‘NEATH THE STARRY SKY…
♪ Underscoring continues.
6/1/11 Page 21
HAROLD puts the key in his vest pocket and pulls out a pad and pencil and
starts to write.
LESLIE
You’ve got the wrong girl. This is what I get for wanting to find love by placing an ad in your
paper.
(Seeing HAROLD writing on pad)
What are you doing?
(Taking pad and reading)
“The Investigative Reporting of an Investigative Reporter.”
(Reading)
“Crosses Broadway – J-walks”
“Littering…that’s a crime”
“Reads Newspaper…Not ours.”
(To HAROLD)
Sorry about that.
HAROLD, again, points to pad.
(Reading)
“Takes the newspaper without paying. That’s stealing?”
(To HAROLD)
My uncle owns that newsstand. I stop by, and he gives me a paper everyday.
(Reading)
“This has been the most exhilarating day of my life. She is a truly fascinating investigative
subject. She has not one unlikable quality. She’s is absolutely everything anyone could
possibly hope for. She is looking for someone to love. If, for some reason, she avoids arrest,
or after she serves her time for her crime, I feel certain she will have no difficulty finding him”
(To HAROLD)
You’re putting this in your investigative report?
HAROLD nods yes.
About me?
HAROLD nods yes.
♪ I’ve Got a Crush on You

LESLIE
(Sweetly…trying to get the key)
HOW GLAD THE MANY MILLIONS OF TIMOTHYS AND WILLIAMS
WOULD BE TO CAPTURE ME
BUT YOU HAD SUCH PERSISTENCE,
YOU WORE DOWN MY RESISTANCE
I FELL, AND IT WAS SWELL
YOU'RE MY BIG AND BRAVE AND HANDSOME ROMEO
HOW I WON YOU, I SHALL NEVER, NEVER KNOW
6/1/11 Page 22
IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE

BUT, OH, MY HEART GREW ACTIVE
(Making him look at her)
WHEN YOU CAME INTO VIEW
(Trying to get out of handcuffs)
I'VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU, SWEETIE PIE
ALL THE DAY AND NIGHT-TIME,
HEAR ME SIGH
(Trying to get the key out his pocket)
I NEVER HAD THE LEAST NOTION
THAT I COULD FALL WITH SO MUCH EMOTION
LESLIE pulls out the key on bell-tone
COULD YOU COO?
COULD YOU CARE
HAROLD takes the key back.
FOR A CUNNING COTTAGE WE COULD SHARE?
THE WORLD WILL PARDON MY MUSH
'CAUSE I'VE GOT A CRUSH, MY BABY, ON
HAROLD
CRUSH, MY BABY, ON
BOTH
CRUSH, MY BABY, ON…
They start to kiss…A large string of pearls fall out from under her dress.
HAROLD picks them up…looks a pearls…looks at LESLIE.
HAROLD
Persian pearls.
LESLIE
What can I say? I like pretty things.
HAROLD looks at pearls…looks at LESLIE.
HAROLD
So do I.
HAROLD kisses her…the music swells, button…applause.
COP (JANE) re enters followed by GENE.
COP (JANE)
Ah, hah!
GENE
(Entering)
Investigative reporter? He’s my copyboy.
6/1/11 Page 23
COP
(Taking key)
Your copyboy is kissing the chic thief…Persian peals and partners in crime!
(To HAROLD)
You’re both under arrest.
(To Photographer)
Now let’s get that front page photo.
COP (JANE) and GENE jump on either side of HAROLD and LESLIE.
PHOTOGRAPHER takes picture.
HAROLD
(Working the photo)
JUST IMAGINE SOMEONE
WAITING AT THE COTTAGE DOOR
HAROLD AND LESLIE
WHERE TWO HEARTS BECOME ONE
Photographer takes picture…flash. All are continuing to smile for the camera.
GENE
Well, you blew your assignment.
HAROLD
Sorry boss.
COP (JANE)
Assignment? So, you’re behind all this. The mastermind!
GENE
Mastermind? I was talking about my ham on rye.
HAROLD
With mustard.
COP (JANE)
You’re all coming to headquarters with me right now.
COP (JANE) handcuffs them all together.
♪ “Nice Work” underscoring in…
LESLIE
(Dreamily)
See you in 10 to 20.
HAROLD
(Thrilled and to “Nice Work” tune)
WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE
Segue to…
6/1/11 Page 24
I Got Rhythm – Reprise

HAROLD (CONT’D)
I GOT RHYTHM, I GOT MUSIC
LESLIE
(Hugging HAROLD)
I GOT MY MAN
GENE pulls LESLIE away from HAROLD with handcuffs.
BOTH
HAROLD starts vaudeville sways…handcuffs get others going too.
HAROLD
I GOT DAISIES
LESLIE
IN GREEN PASTURES
GENE
(Referring to Cop)
I GOT MY GIRL
JANE
COP (JANE), who is handcuffed at the front of the line, leads the group down to
headquarters…it becomes a vaudeville production with everyone handcuffed
together on the way out.
ALL
OLD MAN TROUBLE
I DON'T MIND HIM
YOU WON'T FIND HIM 'ROUND MY DOOR
I GOT STARLIGHT
I GOT SWEET DREAMS
I GOT MY MAN/GIRL
JANE drags them off L.
HAROLD immediately drags them from SL to SR and into the wings.

AHH
JANE immediately drags them from SR to CS.
AHH
THEY dance.
6/1/11 Page 25
ALL
OLD MAN TROUBLE
I DON'T MIND HIM
I GOT STARLIGHT
I GOT SWEET DREAMS
I GOT MY MAN/GIRL
(Out…vaudeville-style)
See you in 10 to 20.
HAROLD
(Spoken…well, shouted)
WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE?!!!!
All exit…HAROLD is last to get yanked off…vaudeville-style.
Blackout button…applause.
The End…
…of the “Nice Work” section

6/1/11 Page 26
OF THEE I SING
Songs in “Of Thee I Sing” section:

The Man I Love
Flashback Montage:
My Cousin In Milwaukee
Of Thee I Sing
There’s a Boat Dat’s Leavin’ Soon for New York
Postcard Montage:
By Strauss
A Foggy Day
Just Another Rhumba
Summertime
It Ain’t Necessarily So
Of Thee I Sing – Repise
♪ Underscoring in… “Rhapsody in Blue” …
Location: 1957 New Orleans
Projection: New Orleans, 1957
♪ segue to “The Man I Love” intro…
A pool of light fades up on NINA, sitting on a stool, center stage. She sings.
A pool of light fades up on NINA, a cabaret singer, sitting on a stool, center

stage. She is singing in a jazz club in New Orleans. As the previous scene is
played with the innocence and earnestness of silent movie romantic comedy,
This scene is played in the style of a 1940’s and 1950’s movie, a la
Casablanca…or many of the movies of Barbara Stanwyck. A bit hardboiled.
♪ The Man I Love

NINA
SOMEDAY HE'LL COME ALONG, THE MAN I LOVE
AND HE'LL BE BIG AND STRONG, THE MAN I LOVE
AND WHEN HE COMES MY WAY
I'LL DO MY BEST TO MAKE HIM STAY
HE'LL LOOK AT ME AND SMILE,

I'LL UNDERSTAND
AND IN A LITTLE WHILE HE'LL TAKE MY HAND
AND THOUGH IT SEEMS ABSURD
I KNOW WE BOTH WON'T SAY A WORD
MAYBE I SHALL MEET HIM SUNDAY

MAYBE MONDAY, MAYBE NOT
6/1/11 Page 27
STILL I'M SURE TO MEET HIM ONE DAY

MAYBE TUESDAY WILL BE MY GOOD NEWS DAY
HE'LL BUILD A LITTLE HOME, JUST MEANT FOR TWO

FROM WHICH WE'LL NEVER ROAM; WHO WOULD, WOULD YOU?
♪ Musical interlude as underscoring…
(As patter in a club act, standing and crossing DSC)
But he did. He roamed…and took my best friend with him. Why is it always the best friend?
They can’t run off with some stranger you could care less about. They have to take your best
friend away from you too…leaving you no shoulder to cry on…but, at least they left me here in
New Orleans, where they like the blues…New Orleans…thanks for the shoulder. Oh, and
don’t ever leave me!
(Soaring)
HE'LL BUILD A LITTLE HOME, JUST MEANT FOR TWO
FROM WHICH WE'LL NEVER ROAM; WHO WOULD, WOULD YOU?
AND SO ALL ELSE ABOVE I'M WAITING FOR THE MAN I LOVE
Button…applause…
♪ Underscoring in…possibly intro to “The Man I Love” cocktail playoff
NINA crosses up and gets the ‘”stool” and crosses DR.

Oh, and this friend, she happen to be my partner. We had an act…a sister act…except we
weren’t really sisters…but might as well have been, we were inseparable in those days. And
before we landed here in New Orleans, we traveled the country…and loved it.
We didn’t have a home, but we had each other. And the act?…
♪ Underscoring shift…“My Cousin in Milwaukee” intro
(Sitting on “stool”)
It was fun, silly and fun. To set her up, I’d start out singing…
(Flashback…stylized production numbers materialize around her with others
backing her up.)
♪ My Cousin In Milwaukee
JANE enters with MEN from SL. JANE plays and dances NINA’s sassy
cousin…with HAROLD and GENE as backup boy/drooling men. Choreography
in the style of Jack Cole.
NINA
ONCE I VISITED MY COUSIN, IN MILWAUKEE, USA
JANE enters as a vamp…the cousin.
SHE GOT BOYFRIENDS BY THE DOZEN
HAROLD and GENE enter, bird-dogging JANE.
WHEN SHE SANG IN A LOWDOWN WAY
SHE WAS A POSITIVE SENSATION
THE SONGS THAT SHE SANG WOULD NEVER MISS
6/1/11 Page 28
MY COUSIN WAS MY INSPIRATION

THAT'S HOW I GOT LIKE THIS
NINA crosses into the act and it becomes a duet…with the backup boys.
I GOT A COUSIN IN MILWAUKEE
JANE
(In a high, kind of squeaky voice)
That’s me!
NINA
SHE'S GOT A VOICE SO SQUAWKY
JANE
Naturally.
NINA
AND THOUGH SHE'S TALL AND KIND OF GAWKY
Boys lift JANE…her hands up.
JANE
Whee!
NINA
OH, HOW SHE GETS THE MEN
JANE
Aw gee!
NINA
HER SINGING ISN'T OPERATIC
JANE
(Comedic Soprano)
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME
NINA
IT'S GOT A LOT OF STATIC
JANE
(Low)
DEE, DEE, DEE, DEE
NINA
WHAT MAKES YOUR HEART GET ACROBATIC
JANE…front walkover off the HAROLD and GENE’s shoulders.
JANE
Wanna see?
NINA
NINE TIMES OUT OF TEN
JANE
Makes three!
6/1/11 Page 29
NINA
WHEN SHE SINGS HOT, YOU CAN'T BE SOLEMN
IT SENDS THE SHIVERS UP AND DOWN YOUR SPINAL COLUMN
WHEN SHE SINGS BLUE, THE MEN SHOUT
MEN
"WHAT STUFF!"
THAT BABY IS HOT STUFF
JANE
SO IF YOU LIKE THE WAY I SING SONGS,
IF YOU THINK THAT I'M A WOW
NINA
YOU CAN THANK MY SQUAWKY COUSIN FROM MILWAUKEE
ALL
BECAUSE SHE TAUGHT ME HOW
JANE
That’s me!
Lighting button…Segue to…
♪ “Of Thee I Sing” Playoff as…
NINA, JANE, HAROLD change into patriotic costumes DSL, as if in the wings.
HAROLD
Nina…wow, you’re on fire tonight. Hot stuff, baby. Hot stuff.
NINA
You too. I mean, thanks.…. Hot stuff.
JANE
(Laughing, enjoying the camaraderie)
Excuse me, you two, while I make our entrances for us.
NINA
Oh, yeah…
Lights up and they are now wearing red, white and blue boaters, bow-ties and
vest. This is a sexy/patriotic in the style of 50’s MGM musicals. It is A la
Monroe and Russell, wooing HAROLD (Uncle Sam) in a sexy and comedic way.
♪ Of Thee I Sing
NINA AND JANE
(“Entering” the number from “the wings”)
OF THEE I SING, BABY
SUMMER, AUTUMN, WINTER, SPRING, BABY.
NINA
YOU'RE MY SILVER LINING,
6/1/11 Page 30
JANE
YOU'RE MY SKY OF BLUE
BOTH
THERE'S A LOVELIGHT SHINING
JUST BECAUSE OF YOU.

SHINING STAR AND INSPIRATION
WORTHY OF A MIGHTY NATION,
BOTH
OF THEE I
HAROLD escapes and exits into the wings.
(To each other)
OF THEE I SING
Button…applause.
GENE enters from R as theatre owner.
GENE
(Paying them in cash)
Great last show, ladies. If you can make it back next year, we’ll add a week to your run.
GENE exits L.
NINA
Did you hear that? Next year we’ll actually be in one place for more than a week. Two whole
weeks in the same city...it’ll be like having a home. I knew I liked New Orleans. We’ll rent a
place in the French Quarter with a kitchen, and I’ll cook us dinner every night.
HAROLD enters with suitcase, and joins JANE.
Oh Harold, you’ll love my cooking. Won’t he, Jane.
JANE
Nina, there’s something I’ve got to tell you.
NINA
(As aside to Audience)
Here it comes.
JANE
Harold has asked me to marry him.
♪ Underscoring in… “There’s a Boat Dat’s Leavin’ Soon for New York’” intro
NINA
Wow…that’s great.
(Aside to Audience, ironic)
“The Man I Love”
6/1/11 Page 31
JANE
He wants me to go to New York with him.
NINA
New York?
JANE
We’re taking the ship. The trip is going to be our honeymoon…3 days to New York.
NINA
What about the act?
♪ There’s a Boat Dat’s Leavin’ Soon for New York

HAROLD
(Back towards UL with suitcase)
THERE’S A BOAT DAT’S LEAVIN’ SOON FOR NEW YORK
JANE
You’ll come too. We bought a ticket for you too.
HAROLD
(GENE to JANE, and JANE to NINA)
COME
HAROLD AND JANE
(GENE to JANE, and JANE to NINA)
WITH ME
THAT’S WHERE WE BELONG, SISTER
JANE
We can try our luck with the act in New York.
HAROLD AND JANE
YOU AN' ME CAN LIVE THAT HIGH LIFE IN NEW YORK
COME WITH ME, THERE YOU CAN'T GO WRONG, SISTER.
HAROLD
I'LL BUY YOU THE SWELLEST MANSION
UP ON UPPER FIFTH AVENUE
AN' THROUGH HARLEM WE'LL GO STRUTTIN',
JANE
WE'LL GO ASTRUTTIN',
HAROLD
AND THERE'LL BE NUTHIN'
TOO GOOD FOR YOU.
I'LL DRESS YOU IN SILKS AND SATINS
IN DE LATEST PARIS STYLES.
AND DE BLUES YOU'LL BE FORGETTIN',
HAROLD AND JANE
YOU'LL BE FORGETTIN',
THERE'LL BE NO FRETTIN'
6/1/11 Page 32
JUST NOTHIN' BUT SMILES.
COME ALONG WITH ME, THAT'S THE PLACE,

DON'T BE A FOOL, COME ALONG, COME ALONG.
HAROLD, JANE AND NINA
THERE'S A BOAT THAT'S LEAVIN' SOON FOR NEW YORK
COME WITH ME, THAT'S WHERE WE BELONG, SISTER,
THAT'S WHERE WE BELONG!
Button…applause.
NINA
(Breaking away)
I can’t.
(Turing back to them)
I can’t do it.
JANE
What?
NINA
I can’t go with you. I’m staying here.
JANE
Why?
NINA
(To Audience)
“Why?” she says. You’ve got to be kidding.
♪ Underscoring in…“The Man I Love”
Three days stuck on a boat with the two people I love most in the world…and can’t tell them
what I think, what I really feel. I’d have to throw myself overboard.
(To JANE)
Why? Because I love it here. I’ve fallen in love with this place. New Orleans. And I’m tired
of living out of a suitcase. I need a home. And, anyway, I’ve been meaning to talk to you.
The duo thing…it’s getting stale. And here I can finally do the solo thing.
HAROLD
(Entering)
Hey…we got a boat to catch.
JANE
You sure?
NINA nods her head yes, they hug. JANE starts off and turns back.
New Orleans, maybe you’ll learn to sing the blues.
NINA
Yeah…so get out of here now, before I start.
JANE
(Exiting UR with GENE)
I’ll send postcards.
6/1/11 Page 33
NINA
(To audience)
She did.
NINA pulls out postcards.
♪ Underscoring out.
(Sitting on “stool” DL)
About one every week for a year or so. She had a great time out there…seeing the world.
Here’s one of the places I missed. She sent it to me from Vienna.
♪ Musical intro in…“By Strauss”
(Showing postcard)
Beautiful! And the culture….exquisite.
♪ By Strauss
NINA
AWAY WITH THE MUSIC OF BROADWAY
BE OFF WITH YOUR IRVING BERLIN
OH I GIVE NO QUARTER TO KERN OR COLE PORTER
AND GERSHWIN KEEPS POUNDING ON TIN
HOW CAN I BE CIVIL WHEN HEARING THIS DRIVEL

IT'S ONLY FOR NIGHTCLUBBIN' SOUSES
(Ironic)
That’s me…
(Dreamily)
OH GIVE ME THE FREE 'N' EASY WALTZ THAT IS VIENNEASY AND
GO TELL THE BAND IF THEY WANT A HAND
THE WALTZ MUST BE STRAUSS'S
JANE and MEN enter from L.
ADD JANE AND HAROLD

YA, YA YA, GIVE ME OOM-PA-PAH
Dance Production Number with JANE, HAROLD and GENE.
NINA, JANE AND HAROLD

WHEN I WANT A MELODY
LILTING THROUGH THE HOUSE
THEN I WANT A MELODY
BY STRAUSS
IT LAUGHS, IT SINGS, THE WORLD IS IN RHYME
SWINGING TO THREE-QUARTER TIME
LET THE DANUBE FLOW ALONG

AND THE FLEDERMAUSS
KEEP THE WINE AND GIVE ME SONG
BY STRAUSS
6/1/11 Page 34
BY JOVE, BY JING, BY STRAUSS IS THE THING

SO I SAY TO HA-CHA-CHA, HERAUS!
JUST GIVE ME YOUR OOM-PA-PAH
OOM-PA-PAH
OOM-PA-PAH
BY STRAUSS!
Segue to…
NINA
(Holding up postcard)
Here’s one she sent me from London. Talk about your royal salt in the wound. I always
wanted to go there…ever since I saw the movie Royal Wedding, so romantic.
♪ A Foggy Day
(Reading post card at first)
I WAS A STRANGER IN THE CITY
OUT OF TOWN WERE THE PEOPLE I KNEW
I HAD THAT FEELING OF SELF-PITY
WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO
THE OUTLOOK WAS DECIDEDLY BLUE
(Crossing R)
BUT AS I WALKED THROUGH THE FOGGY STREETS ALONE
IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE LUCKIEST DAY I'VE KNOWN
JANE enters UL and crosses R in trench coat…and ultimately meets HAROLD,
also dressing in trench coat.
NINA AND JANE

A FOGGY DAY, IN LONDON TOWN
HAD ME LOW, HAD ME DOWN
I VIEWED THE MORNING, WITH ALARM
THE BRITISH MUSEUM, HAD LOST ITS CHARM
HOW LONG I WONDERED,

COULD THIS THING LAST
BUT THE AGE OF MIRACLES, HADN'T PAST
GENE enters.
FOR SUDDENLY, I SAW YOU THERE
AND THROUGH FOGGY LONDON TOWN,
THE SUN WAS SHINING EVERYWHERE
JANE and GENE meet, and walk off R hand in hand.
Segue to…intro to “Just Another Rhumba”
NINA
(Holding up postcard)
And according to this, she was the life of the party…in…Havana.
6/1/11 Page 35
(Putting on beach hat…handed to her by Leslie from wings)

Tropical breezes
(Putting on sun glasses)
Sand and sun…life isn’t fair. Could drive a girl to drink.
(Getting coconut drink with umbrella)
This works.
(Toasting to audience)
To Cuba!
JANE dances on, dressed in tropical island attire, having the time of her life. A
tropical production number party materializes around her with GENE and
LESLIE.
♪ Just Another Rumba

JANE
IT'S JUST ANOTHER RHUMBA
BUT IT CERTAINLY HAS MY NUMB-BAH
SO MUCH SO, THAT I CAN'T EAT OR SLUM-BAH
CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING DUMB-BAH?
NINA
She always has it so easy. I’d say the luckiest girl in the world needs a little friendly
competition, don’t’ you?
NINA drags LESLIE into the rhumba.
NINA
JUST ANOTHER RHUMBA
LESLIE
JUST ANOTHER RHUMBA
NINA
WHICH I HEARD ONLY LAST SEPTUM-BAH
LESLIE
JANE
I'M A WRECK
NINA
SHE’S A WRECK
LESLIE
WHY DID I HAVE TO SUCCUMB-BAH
JANE
WHY DID I HAVE TO PLAN A
VACATION IN HAVANA?
WHY DID I TAKE THAT TRIP
THAT MADE ME LOSE MY GRIP?
6/1/11 Page 36
MEN
OH! THAT PIECE OF MUSIC LAID ME LOW
THERE IT GOES AGAIN:
The competition between JANE and LESLIE.
LESLE
JUST ANOTHER RHUMBA
JANE
JUST ANOTHER RHUMBA
LESLIE
JANE
I'M A WRECK
MEN
SHE’S A WRECK
BOTH
NINA
Okay, so I’m sure that never happened.
LESLIE exits.
But it sure was fun to think about.
JANE AND MEN
TO THAT RHUMBA?
JANE and MEN exit L.
Button…applause.
NINA
(Crossing center with stool)
That was the last postcard I received from Jane…they simply stopped arriving in my mail box.
I miss them. But I still manage to live vicariously through all the wonderful and exotic
adventures I’m sure she’s having around the globe.
♪ Musical intro in…“Summertime”
(Sitting on stool center stage)
In the meantime, I’ll close my evening here in New Orleans the way I always do, with a song
that reminds me of my new home with all of you…my adopted family. A family I’ve adopted.
♪ Summertime
SUMMERTIME AND THE LIVIN' IS EASY
FISH ARE JUMPIN' AND THE COTTON IS HIGH
6/1/11 Page 37
OH YOUR DADDY'S RICH AND YOUR MA IS GOOD LOOKIN'

SO HUSH LITTLE BABY, DON'T YOU CRY
ONE OF THESE MORNINGS
YOU'RE GOIN' TO RISE UP SINGING
THEN YOU'LL SPREAD YOUR WINGS
AND YOU'LL TAKE THE SKY
BUT TILL THAT MORNING
THERE'S A NOTHIN' CAN HARM YOU
WITH DADDY AND MAMMY STANDIN' BY
OOO, OOO, OOOOOOOO………
DON’T YOU CRY
Button…applause. Lights change. GENE enters from R as club owner.
GENE (AS CLUB OWNER)

Thanks. Great set tonight.
(Handing her cash)
Here’s your take from the door. Not too bad.
NINA
Be even better if you got the piano tuned.
GENE
(Exiting L with stool)
Love you too.
JANE has entered from L and has been watching from upstage.
JANE
(To NINA)
What’s not to love?
NINA
Jane.
JANE
So you’re using me in your act.
NINA
Theatrical license…telling my story.
JANE
Well, let me tell you the sequel. That girl who sent the postcards who ran away with that guy
to New York. Two weeks after they arrive, he runs off with a coat check girl.
NINA
I’m sorry.
(Holding up postcards)
But, you got to see the world.
JANE
The world can be a pretty lonely place with no one to share it with.
NINA
Guess you can’t believe everything you read in postcards.
6/1/11 Page 38
They laugh.
♪ It Ain’t Necessarily So
NINA
IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO
JANE
THE THINGS THAT YOU’RE LIABLE TO READ IN THE BIBLE
NINA
LI'L DAVID WAS SMALL BUT OH MY
HE FOUGHT BIG GOLIATH WHO LAY DOWN AND DIETH
BOTH
OH JONAH HE LIVED IN THE WHALE
FOR HE MADE HIS HOME IN THAT FISH'S ABDOMEN
Scat…Wah Doo, etc…
NINA
IT AIN’T NECESSARILY SO
JANE
IT AIN’T NECESSARILY SO
BOTH
THEY TELL ALL YOU CHILDREN
THE DEVIL’S VILLIAN
BUT T’AINT NECESSARILY SO
BOTH
I’M PREACHING THIS SERMON TO SHOW
NINA JANE
IT AIN'T NECESSA AIN'T NECESSA
AIN'T NECESSA AIN'T NECESSA
BOTH
AIN'T NECESSARILY SO
Button…applause.
6/1/11 Page 39
♪ Of Thee I Sing – Reprise

NINA and JANE sing verse to each other.
NINA
FROM THE ISLAND OF MANHATTAN TO THE COAST OF GOLD
FROM NORTH TO SOUTH, FROM EAST TO WEST
YOU ARE THE LOVE, I LOVE THE BEST
JANE
YOU'RE THE DREAMBOAT IN THE SWEETEST STORY EVER TOLD
A DREAM I SOUGHT, BOTH NIGHT AND DAY
FOR YEARS THROUGH ALL, THE U.S.A.
BOTH
THE STAR I HITCHED MY WAGON TO
IS VERY OBVIOUSLY YOU
JANE
Here’s to New Orleans.
NINA
Home sweet home.
Lighting Change. Facing the audience, they are doing their new duo act.
NINA AND JANE

OF THEE I SING, BABY
SUMMER, AUTUMN, WINTER, SPRING, BABY.
YOU'RE MY SILVER LINING,
YOU'RE MY SKY OF BLUE
THERE'S A LOVELIGHT SHINING
JUST BECAUSE OF YOU.

SHINING STAR AND INSPIRATION
WORTHY OF A MIGHTY NATION,
OF THEE I SING
OF THEE I...
SING-----------!
Button…blackout…applause.
The End…
…of “Of Thee I Sing” section.

6/1/11 Page 40
AN AMERICAN IN PARIS
An homage to beloved “An American in Paris”…inspired by the LESLIE
(CARON) story, and told from her point of view. This scene is played in the
style of the MGM Technicolor movies of the 1950…a la “An American in Paris.”
Songs in “An American in Paris” section:

Somebody from Somewhere
Somebody Loves Me
Fascinating Rhythm
Strike Up The Band
Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off
Strike Up The Band – Reprise
Love is Here To Stay
An American in Paris (Ballet)
Love is Here To Stay – Reprise
Location: Paris Time: 1939 Pre-World War II
♪ Rhapsody in Blue underscoring in…
Projection: Paris 1939
LESLIE is revealed center stage in a pool of light putting on a waitress apron.

She is working as a waitress in a Parisian café. There are café tables L and R.
HAROLD and NINA are sitting at one of the café table SR. They are paying
their bill to JANE.
JANE
Leslie, you’re late again. Finish wiping down those tables.
HAROLD and NINA exit L, leaving a newspaper on the table.
LESLIE
(Crossing R to “tables”)
Tout de suite oui pardonne moi. (Right away, yes, I’m sorry)
JANE
And that table, it’s supposed to have a flower on it…a rose.
(Yelling to customers who just left)
Sir, Madame…your paper, you left your newspaper…
(Realizing)
…and no tip. Merci beaucoup.
(Looking at paper)
All this talk of a war that probably won’t even happen…and people stop tipping.
(Exiting L)
I’ll bring the rose. Pour Vous. (For you.)
6/1/11 Page 41
♪ Somebody from Somewhere

LESLIE
(Doing her work…wiping the tables)
WHEN A BODY KNOWS NOBODY, WHAT'S A BODY TO DO?
SHALL SHE WEEP AND SIGH?
NO, NO, AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY
SOMEDAY, THERE MUST COME SOMEBODY

BRINGING HEAVEN IN VIEW
AND SO HER COURAGE, SHE MUST KEEP
AS SHE SINGS HERSELF TO SLEEP
JANE hands LESLIE a single rose in a vase. LESLIE sits at one of the “tables”
SR…and dreams
LESLIE
(Looking at the rose, and dreaming)
SOMEBODY FROM SOMEWHERE
WILL APPEAR SOMEDAY
I DON'T KNOW JUST FROM WHERE
BUT HE'S ON HIS WAY
I'LL JUST KEEP ON WAITING

WAITING `TILL I SEE
FOR NOBODY BUT ME
I'LL JUST KEEP ON WAITING

WAITING `TILL I SEE
FOR NOBODY BUT…
♪ Direct segue to…
GENE, an American sailor, with a guidebook of PARIS, enters from L.
♪ Somebody Loves Me
GENE
SOMEBODY LOVES ME
I WONDER WHO
I WONDER WHO SHE CAN BE;
GENE
(Reading book and mispronouncing Champs Elysées)
“Start your day in an outdoor café on the Champs Elysées.”
JANE
(Correcting his pronunciation)
Champs Elysées.
6/1/11 Page 42
GENE
(To JANE)
Champs Elysees.
(Flirting)
Hey, Hey, Hey…you open?
JANE
Yes, just open, sir.
(Indicating the “table” SL)
Please, you can sit anywhere.
(Starting off)
I’ll be back your water.
(Calling for LESLIE)
GENE
SOMEBODY LOVES ME
I WISH I KNEW
WHO CAN SHE BE WORRIES ME
(To JANE)
It says in this book that Paris is one of the most romantic cities in the world.
JANE
That’s a mistake.
GENE
Oh?
JANE
It’s the most romantic city in the world.
GENE
(Flirting)
Then prove it.
JANE
Your waitress will be right with you.
GENE
FOR EV'RY GIRL WHO PASSES ME
I SHOUT, HEY! MAYBE,
JANE
(Treating him like a dog)
Sit.
He sits at the table.
GENE
YOU WERE MEANT TO BE MY LOVING BABY
JANE
Stay!
JANE exits L.
6/1/11 Page 43
GENE
SOMEBODY LOVES ME
I WONDER WHO
MAYBE IT'S…
GENE and LESLIE spot each other…musical and lighting change.
GENE LESLIE
SOMEBODY LOVES ME
I WONDER WHO
MAYBE IT'S YOU SOMEBODY FROM SOMEWHERE
Button…applause.
♪ Fascinating Rhythm
GENE AND LESLIE
(To themselves, referring to their hearts)
GOT A LITTLE RHYTHM, A RHYTHM, A RHYTHM
THAT PIT-A-PATS THROUGH MY BRAIN
LESLIE
SO DARN PERSISTENT
THE DAY ISN'T DISTANT
WHEN IT'LL DRIVE ME INSANE
GENE
COMES IN THE MORNING
WITHOUT ANY WARNING
AND HANGS AROUND ME DAY
LESLIE
I'LL HAVE TO SNEAK UP TO IT
GENE
SOMEDAY, AND SPEAK UP TO IT
BOTH
I HOPE IT LISTENS WHEN I SAY
JANE
(Referring to GENE)
Leslie, your customer.
LESLIE crosses to GENE at the table SR.
BOTH
(To each other)
FASCINATING RHYTHM
YOU'VE GOT ME ON THE GO!
FASCINATING RHYTHM
I'M ALL A-QUIVER
She places vase with rose on table. It tips, spilling water on him.
6/1/11 Page 44
GENE
Ahh…
LESLIE
Oops.
GENE
(Up-righting vase…making a joke)
WHAT A MESS YOU'RE MAKING!
(Referring to the other patrons)
THE NEIGHBORS WANT TO KNOW
LESLIE
WHY I'M ALWAYS SHAKING
JUST LIKE A FLIVVER
EACH MORNING I GET UP WITH THE SUN

START A-HOPPING
NEVER STOPPING
GENE
TO FIND AT NIGHT NO WORK HAS BEEN DONE
LESLIE
I KNOW THAT
ONCE IT DIDN'T MATTER
BUT NOW YOU'RE DOING WRONG

WHEN YOU START TO PATTER
GENE
I'M SO UNHAPPY
WON'T YOU TAKE A DAY OFF?

DECIDE TO RUN ALONG
SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY OFF

AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!
BOTH
OH, HOW I LONG TO BE THE MAN/GIRL I USED TO BE!
FASCINATING RHYTHM
ON WON'T YOU STOP PICKING ON ME?
GENE
(In rhythm)
You know, this is my very first time in Paris.
LESLIE
No, really?
GENE
I sure would love a one of those authentic tours of Paris, with a real Parisian tour guide.
6/1/11 Page 45
LESLIE
Well, I’m sure there are some very good ones out there.
GENE
Like you?
LESLIE
Really?
GENE
When do you get off work?
LESLIE
I’m scheduled to work all day.
GENE
Too bad.
LESLIE
I KNOW THAT
ONCE IT DIDN'T MATTER
BUT NOW YOU'RE DOING WRONG
WHEN YOU START TO PATTER
I'M SO UNHAPPY
GENE takes the rose from the vase and offers it to her.
GENE
WON'T YOU TAKE A DAY OFF?
DECIDE TO RUN ALONG
SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY OFF
AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!
LESLIE
(To JANE and taking off her apron…and putting it on table)
I’m suddenly not feeling very well…You can have my tables. I’ll be in first thing tomorrow
morning. I promise.
BOTH
(Taking the rose from GENE)
OH, HOW I LONG TO BE THE MAN/GIRL I USED TO BE!
FASCINATING RHYTHM
JANE
Leslie!
BOTH
FASCINATING RHYTHM
JANE
(Exiting L)
Get back here!
LESLIE and GENE run upstage and then to center.
6/1/11 Page 46
BOTH
STOP PICKIN’ ON…
FASCINATING RHYTHM
FASCINATING RHYTHM
GOT ME ON THE GO
FASCINATIN’ RHYTHM
CRAZY RHYTHM
I GOT RHYTHM
STOP PICKING ON ME?
Button…applause.
They see Paris during “Strike Up The Band”…with dialogue between stanzas.
♪ Musical intro... “Strike Up The Band”
Projections change to the Eifel Tower, as the ensemble, as tourists, enter from
upstage and gather around LESLIE and GENE center stage.
♪ Strike Up The Band – Transition

JANE, HAROLD AND NINA
LET THE DRUMS ROLL OUT
LET THE TRUMPET CALL
WHILE THE PEOPLE SHOUT
"STRIKE UP THE BAND"
♪ Underscoring vamp continues under dialogue…
GENE
(Pointing and Reading from guidebook)
The Eifel Tower was built as the entrance to the 1889 Worlds Fair.
LESLIE
(Looking at Gene)
It’s the tallest building in Paris.
GENE
(Reading and looking at her)
It stands 81 stories tall and is built with 18,038 pieces of iron.
LESLIE
(Still looking at GENE)
It’s very tall…and very strong.
GENE takes LESLIE’s hand and they run (dance) stage right, followed by the
others, as the projections change to…Notre Dame along the Seine River.

HEAR THE CYMBALS RING
CALLIN' ONE AND ALL
TO THE MARTIAL SWING
STRIKE UP THE BAND
6/1/11 Page 47
They are at Notre-Dame and along the Seine River.
GENE
This is interesting. Notre Dame de Paris…Paris’…was among the first buildings in the world
to use the flying buttress. Whatever that is?
LESLIE
Those are the giant arches that hold up the building. Aren’t they beautiful?
GENE
(Looking at LESLIE)
Beautiful…
THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE, TO BE DONE
LET'S HAVE FUN, FUN, FUN
COME YOU SON OF A GUN OF A GUN
TAKE YOUR STAND
They run “dance” to stage left as projections change to The Louver Museum.
They are at the Louver Museum and are starring straight front, transfixed by a
painting.
GENE
The museum, which is now home to over six thousand of the worlds most important works of
art, began as a fortress built in the late 12th century under Philip II (Phillip “Eye, Eye”).
LESLIE
(Correcting his pronunciation)
Philip’ the second…
GENE
(In a heavy Spanish accent))
Philip’ numero dos.
She laughs. He looks at her…she smiles.
If only the Mona Lisa had a smile like that.
FORM A LINE, OH, OH
COME ON, LET'S GO
HEY, LEADER, STRIKE UP THE BAND!
They are holding hands. LESLIE heads off L and GENE heads off R.
GENE LESLIE
The arch de triumph. The Seine
Their grip stops them. They change directions.
6/1/11 Page 48
GENE LESLIE
The Seine The arch de triumph.
Once again, their grip stops them. They look at each other…and laugh. They
have fallen in love. They are having a ball seeing the city together. They
playfully disagree about where to go next in Paris.
♪ Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off

GENE
(Jokingly and letting go of her hand)
THINGS HAVE COME TO A PRETTY PASS
OUR ROMANCE IS GROWING FLAT
FOR YOU LIKE THIS AND THE OTHER
WHILE I GO FOR THIS AND THAT
LESLIE
(Playing along)
GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT THE END WILL BE
OH I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M AT
IT LOOKS AS IF WE TWO WILL NEVER BE ONE
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE
GENE
YOU SAY EITHER AND I SAY EITHER
YOU SAY NEITHER AND I SAY NEITHER
EITHER, EITHER NEITHER, NEITHER
LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF
LESLIE
YOU LIKE POTATO AND I LIKE POTAHTO
YOU LIKE TOMATO AND I LIKE TOMAHTO
POTATO, POTAHTO, TOMATO, TOMAHTO.
GENE
BUT OH, IF WE CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF
THEN WE MUST PART
LESLIE
AND OH, IF WE EVER PART, THEN THAT MIGHT BREAK MY HEART
SO IF YOU LIKE PYJAMAS AND I LIKE PYJAHMAS,

GENE
I'LL WEAR PYJAMAS AND GIVE UP PYAJAHMAS
BOTH
FOR WE KNOW WE NEED EACH OTHER SO WE
BETTER CALL THE CALLING OFF OFF
6/1/11 Page 49
They Dance very playfully…each trying to go different directions and playing

“who has the map or Paris”…what starts off as a simple game becomes an
American dance lesson, as GENE teaches LESLIE how to jitterbug.
LESLIE
What are you doing?
GENE
The jitterbug. It’s American.
GENE teaches LESLIE the jitterbug…they dance the jitterbug.
BOTH
BUT OH IF WE CALL THE WHOLE THING OF THEN WE MUST PART
AND OH, IF WE EVER PART, THEN THAT MIGHT BREAK MY HEART
LESLIE
(The topper)
SO IF YOU GO FOR SCALLOPS AND I GO FOR LOBSTER
GENE
SO ALL RIGHT NO CONTEST WE'LL ORDER THE LOBSETER
Music change…they look at each other.
BOTH
(Slowly)
FOR WE KNOW WE NEED EACH OTHER SO WE
BETTER CALL THE CALLING OFF OFF
LESLIE
OFF
GENE
OFF
BOTH
OFF
They kiss.
(Too close for comfort…backing off)
LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING…
Music continues and builds as they give in…and kiss.
Button…applause.
♪ Strike Up The Band – Reprise/Transition

THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE, TO BE DONE
THERE’S A WAR TO BE WON, TO BE WON
COME YOU SON OF A SON OF A GUN
TAKE YOUR STAND
6/1/11 Page 50
LELSLIE is handed a newspaper from a member ensemble passing by…
LESLIE
Germany invades Poland. Oh, Gene. It’s happened.
FALL IN LINE, YEA BO
COME ON, LET'S GO
HEY, LEADER, STRIKE UP THE BAND!
Ensemble exits. HAROLD exits left. NINA and JANE exits R.
The news of war and GENE will have to go back to America help the cause, as
LESLIE will have to stay in Paris.
♪ Love is Here to Stay

GENE
(Looking at the paper, at first)
THE MORE I READ THE PAPERS, THE LESS I COMPREHEND
THE WORLD AND ALL IT'S CAPERS AND HOW IT ALL WILL END
NOTHING SEEMS TO BE LASTING, BUT THAT ISN'T OUR AFFAIR
WE'VE GOT SOMETHING PERMANENT
I MEAN IN THE WAY WE CARE
IT'S VERY CLEAR OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY

NOT FOR A YEAR, BUT EVER AND A DAY
THE RADIO AND THE TELEPHONE
AND THE MOVIES THAT WE KNOW
MAY JUST BE PASSING FANCIES AND IN TIME MAY GO
BUT, OH MY DEAR, OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY
TOGETHER WERE GOING A LONG, LONG WAY
THEY'RE ONLY MADE OF CLAY
BUT OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY
They dance…
HAROLD enters from L as GENE’s superior officer. He waits. GENE embraces

LESLIE one more time and exits with the officer, leaving LESLIE alone onstage
with the rose.
LESLIE
THEY'RE ONLY MADE OF CLAY
BUT OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY…
6/1/11 Page 51
Segue to…
♪ An American in Paris
♪ Strike Up The Band – Reprise/Transition underscoring

Lights up on LESLIE, now running the café. NINA rushes in putting on apron.
LESLIE
(To JANE…a new waitress at the café)
You’re late. Depeche (Hurry) Finish wiping down the tables. We have customers arriving
already.
NINA
(Perhaps in French)
Tout de suite oui pardonne moi. Tout de suite. (Right away…yes. I’m sorry….right away.)
LESLIE
And that table needs a flower…a rose.
6/1/11 Page 52
(Handing her the rose)

Good, like it should be.
GENE enters from L, dressed in civilian clothes. He takes rose from NINA as
she starts to put it in vase.
GENE
YOU SAY EITHER AND I SAY EITHER
LESLIE
YOU SAY NEITHER AND I SAY NEITHER…
Segue to…
♪ Love is Here to Stay – Reprise

GENE
IT'S VERY CLEAR OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY
NOT FOR A YEAR, BUT EVER AND A DAY
THE RADIO AND THE TELEPHONE
AND THE MOVIES THAT WE KNOW
MAY JUST BE PASSDING FANCIES AND IN TIME MAY GO
Music swells as they run to each other and embrace.
LESLIE
GENE hands her the rose.
ALL
(As waitress, customers, etc. gathering around – The big MGM close-up/ending)
GIBRALTAR MAY TUMBLE, THEY'RE ONLY MADE OF CLAY
BUT OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY
They kiss…lights fade.
The End…
…of the “An American in Paris” Section
End of Act I
6/1/11 Page 53
FUNNY FACE
Songs in “Funny Face” section:

Funny Face
Heaven on Earth
Do It Again
Do, Do, Do
Nobody But You
They All Laughed
Boy, What Love Has Done To Me
Isn’t It A Pity?
Funny Face – Reprise
A Hollywood studio soundstage 1948.
“A Hollywood makeup artist discovers her own beauty and learns to love
herself.” The scene is filled with big Hollywood prototypical personalities…and
once JANE goes “Through the Looking Glass”…these personalities drive the
scene to near absurdity a la a Carol Burnett sketch.
♪ Rhapsody in Blue underscoring in…
Projection: Hollywood 1948
JANE, a Hollywood studio makeup artist, is revealed center stage, in a pool of

light, sitting and looking at herself in a hand mirror, imagining herself as beautiful
as the stars she makes up. She sings…
♪ Funny Face
JANE
NEEDN'T TELL ME THAT I'M NOT SO PRETTY, DEAR,
WHEN MY LOOKING GLASS AND I AGREE,
IN THE CONTEST AT ATLANTIC CITY, DEAR,
MISS AMERICA I'D NEVER BE,
TRUTH TO TELL, THOUGH, YOU'RE NOT SUCH A LOT YOURSELF
AS A GARBO, YOU ARE NOT SO HOT YOURSELF
Harold, a studio assistant, enters with a clipboard…interrupts….JANE’s bubble
is shattered.
HAROLD
Okay, they’re moving to the next setup.
JANE
Ahh…you startled me.
She drops her powder puff.
6/1/11 Page 54
HAROLD
Break is over, butterfingers. I’ve got three coming in for makeup right now. They want to
shoot one more scene before we wrap for the day, so we’ve got to hurry them through. It’s
the kissing scene.
JANE
The kissing scene. You mean?
HAROLD
You got it. Close-ups…nothing below the waist. And get this, the director wants to shoot it
multiple times with different female contract players. Could be some girl’s big break…a kind
of impromptu screen test.
(To NINA)
Sit right here.
(To JANE)
JANE
(To NINA)
Are you doing the kissing scene?
NINA
I guess so.
JANE
Wow, you’re lucky.
NINA
I’m supposed learn this scene. I say “And what a gay evening this is” in a British accent.
Then he says something. Then we kiss.
JANE
Ohhhh. That’s lovely, really lovely.
HAROLD
Jane, hurry up with their makeup…I need them on the set…pronto!
HAROLD shows NINA to her seat, and sits facing upstage as JANE does her
makeup.
JANE
(Quickly)
I LOVE YOUR FUNNY FACE,
NINA
Ow.
JANE
YOUR SUNNY, FUNNY FACE;
NINA
Watch it!
JANE
FOR YOU'RE A CUTIE
YOU'VE GOT A LOT
6/1/11 Page 55
OF PERSONALITY N.T.
HAROLD show LESLIE to the seat, who also sits facing upstage as JANE does
her makeup.
HAROLD
Next. Right here.
LESLIE
(Practicing her line on the way in)
“And what a gay evening this is”…“And what a gay evening…”
JANE
(To LESLIE)
Kissing scene?
LESLIE
Yep.
JANE
So you get to kiss…?
LESLIE
Yep.
JANE
Ohhh.
LESLIE
Could be my big break.
HAROLD
Keep ‘em moving.
JANE
(Quickly)
THOSE EYES! THOSE NOSE! THOSE CHEEK!
LESLIE
Eeesh
WON'T MAKE A MOVIE SHEIK,
LESLIE
(Sneezing)
Aachoo
JANE
THOUGH YOU'RE NO GLORIA SWANSON
FOR WORLDS I'D NOT REPLACE
YOUR SUNNY, FUNNY FACE.
HAROLD escorts LESLIE out to make room for GENE.
HAROLD
And here comes our star…
6/1/11 Page 56
GENE
(Reading his page and practicing his line on the way in)
“Yes Esmeralda, and all due to you” “Yes Esmeralda, and all due to…”
(Holding up the page)
Who wrote this?
HAROLD
(To LESLIE, making room for GENE)
Alright, let’s move it…we’ve got a movie to shoot.
GENE
Has anyone seen my coffee mug? I need my coffee mug. It’s got my name on it.
HAROLD
I’ll find your mug.
(Sitting him down, to JANE)
And you get his mug ready for his close-up.
JANE
(Her inner-monologue as she makes up GENE)
FRANKLY, DEAR, YOUR MODESTY REVEALS TO ME
SELF APPRAISAL OFTEN MAKES US SAD
GENE
Can you do that thing where you make my nose look smaller?
JANE
IF I ADD, YOUR FUNNY FACE APPEALS TO ME
PLEASE DON’T THINK I'VE SUDDENLY GONE MAD
GENE
And the bags under the eyes.
JANE
YOU HAVE ALL THE QUALITIES OF PETER PAN
I'D GO FAR BEFORE I'D FIND A SWEETER PAN
GENE
(To JANE)
I look ten years younger. I love your work.
(Slowly and with feeling, to himself in mirror)
JANE
Me too.
GENE
JANE
That face.
6/1/11 Page 57
GENE
YOU CAN'T REPAIR IT,
SO I DECLARE IT
IS QUITE ALL RIGHT -
LIKE RONALD COLMAN?
SO'S YOUR OL' MAN!
BOTH
YET IT'S VERY CLEAR,
I'M GLAD WHEN YOU ARE NEAR.
THOUGH YOU'RE NO HANDSOME HARRY
FOR WORLDS I'D NOT REPLACE
Button…JANE applauds, as HAROLD enters.
HAROLD
Your coffee mug, sire.
GENE
Ah, thank you, my good man.
(Showing JANE)
See, it has my name on it.
JANE
Star.
GENE
How do I look?
JANE
Great.
GENE
(To HAROLD)
And?
HAROLD
Good.
GENE
Is my costume creased? Harold, bring over the full length.
HAROLD rolls on a full length mirror.
This is that kissing scene with one of the new contract players.
(Looking in full length mirror)
Yeah…that’ll do. Hair okay?
HAROLD
Great.
6/1/11 Page 58
JANE
(Really meaning it)
You look great. Just great.
GENE
(Slapping her on the behind)
Thanks, toots.
JANE
(A yelp)
Ahh.
GENE exits.
HAROLD
Toots? You know, you don’t have to put up with that. He’s on the payroll, same as you and
me.
JANE
But he’s not the same as you and me. He’s beautiful. You know, royalty…Hollywood royalty.
JANE pulls out a costume from the movie and puts it over her shoulders.
What I would give to be that lucky contract player in the kissing scene.
HAROLD
Get in line.
GENE
(Popping back on stage for a moment)
One more look.
JANE
(Startled)
Ahh…
JANE drops the costume.
GENE
They’re doing the close-up.
HAROLD
Actors.
JANE
You’re beautiful!
HAROLD turns and moves the mirror toward GENE.
GENE
I know.
HAROLD
(Pushing GENE offstage)
Come on.
JANE is alone onstage…looking at the mirror and pretending to be Hollywood
royalty. She puts on the costumes from the movie and poses.
6/1/11 Page 59
GENE
(Re-entering for a moment)
Is my nose shiny?
JANE
(Startled)
Ahh.
As HAROLD pulls GENE offstage, JANE falls through the mirror. Like “Alice
Through the Looking Glass”, she is now a cast member of the movie.
♪ Heaven on Earth
ALL
(Entering and preparing for the scene)
REACH UP HIGH
PULL DOWN THE SKY
MAKE THIS A HEAVEN ON EARTH
HAROLD
We’re back everyone, we’re back.
ALL
CAN’T GO WRONG
SINGING A SONG
HAROLD
Everybody, on your marks, please.
LADIES
THIS IS THE ADVICE I’M GIVING
MEN
START LOVING AND LIVING
FOR ALL THAT YOU’RE WORTH
HAROLD
Quiet on the set!
ALL
(Whisper)
OH, REACH UP HIGH
PULL DOWN THE SKY
♪ Underscoring continues under dialogue…
Repeat whisper chorus of “Heaven on Earth.” Scene continues over vocal.
GENE
Makeup!
JANE rushes to GENE to touch up his makeup.
6/1/11 Page 60
JANE
I got it.
GENE
What are you doing?
JANE
Your nose.
GENE
Why?
JANE
(Powdering his nose)
It’s shiny.
GENE
Harold. Is she on her mark?
HAROLD
Get back on your mark.
JANE
My mark?
HAROLD
(Moving her US and on her mark)
Right here. All you contract players need to be in this light right back here.
JANE
Contract player? But I’m not a contract player. I’m…
HAROLD
(To all)
This is the kissing scene
JANE
(Realizing)
Contract player…I’m a contract player…in the kissing scene.
HAROLD
This is the scene where our hero…
(Pointing to GENE)
…tries to make fiancé jealous by flirting with another girl at the party.
(Looking out toward the camera)
Our director will be using this scene to screen test some of our female contract players. So, it
looks like we’re going to be here a while. This could be your big break, gals. If you look good
on film, our director says you just might be playing…
(Indicating GENE)
Our illustrious star’s romantic lead his next picture.
HAROLD
(Bringing Leslie down center with GENE)
You’re up first. It’s a close-up. Look right, look left…simple kiss. That’s it. And action.
♪ Repeat whisper chorus of “Heaven on Earth.”
6/1/11 Page 61
GENE plays scene, flirting with LESLIE.
ALL
REACH UP HIGH
PULL DOWN THE SKY
♪ Music Tactics.
LESLIE
And what a gay evening this is.
GENE
Yes, Esmeralda, and all due to you.
GENE kisses LESLIE.
HAROLD
Cut!
(Bringing NINA down center with GENE)
Next. And action.
♪ Music in...
GENE plays scene, flirting with NINA.
ALL
CAN’T GO WRONG
SINGING A SONG
♪ Music Tacets.
NINA
And what a gay evening this is.
GENE
GENE kisses NINA.
HAROLD
Cut!
(Bringing JANE down center with GENE)
And…action.
♪ Music in…
GENE plays scene, flirting with JANE. JANE is paralyzed, starring at GENE.
ALL
THIS IS THE ADVICE I’M GIVING
START LOVING AND LIVING
FOR ALL THAT YOU’RE WORTH
6/1/11 Page 62
♪ Music Tacets.
JANE laughs in a goofy way, starring at GENE…still paralyzed.
HAROLD
You missed your cue…let’s try it again. We’re still rolling.
♪ Music in…
GENE tries again. JANE is still paralyzed.

OH, REACH UP HIGH
PULL DOWN THE SKY
♪ Music Tacets.
GENE
(Plowing ahead)
GENE grabs and kisses JANE. She is completely overwhelmed and sings her
inner monologue…
Lighting change…all are “theatrically frozen” as JANE sings her inner

monologue.
♪ Do It Again
JANE
(Out “toward” audience)
OH, DO IT AGAIN
I MAY SAY, "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,"
BUT DO IT AGAIN
MY LIPS JUST ACHE

TO HAVE YOU TAKE
THE KISS THAT'S WAITING FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW IF YOU DO
YOU WON'T REGRET IT
COME AND GET IT
OH, NO ONE IS NEAR.

I MAY CRY, "OH, OH, OH, OH, OH,"
BUT NO ONE WILL HEAR
MY MOM WILL SCOLD ME

'CAUSE SHE TOLD ME
THAT IT'S NAUGHTY, BUT THEN...
OH, DO IT AGAIN!
PLEASE DO IT AGAIN!
6/1/11 Page 63
JANE finishes number where she started, kissing GENE, as Lights up and
segue, as the WOMEN “attack” GENE…he loves the attention.
HAROLD
(Heading out)
Cut.
GENE
(To HAROLD)
More coffee.
HAROLD
(Exiting with mug)
Got it.
♪ Do, Do, Do
ALL WOMEN
(Smothering GENE, who loves it)
OH, DO, DO, DO
WHAT YOU'VE DONE
DONE, DONE BEFORE, BABY
DO, DO, DO
WHAT I DO
DO, DO ADORE, BABY
LET'S TRY AGAIN

SIGH AGAIN
FLY AGAIN TO HEAVEN
BABY, SEE
IT'S A, B, C
I LOVE YOU
AND YOU LOVE ME
I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW

WHAT A BEAU, BEAU, BEAU
SHOULD DO, BABY
SO DON'T, DON'T, DON'T

SAY IT WON'T, WON'T, WON'T
COME TRUE, BABY
MY HEART BEGINS TO HUM

DUM, DE, DUM
DE, DUM, DUM, DUM
SO DO, DO, DO
WHAT YOU'VE DONE
DONE, DONE BEFORE
Dance break.
6/1/11 Page 64
LET'S TRY AGAIN

SIGH AGAIN
FLY AGAIN TO HEAVEN
BABY, SEE
IT'S A, B, C
I LOVE YOU
AND YOU LOVE ME
I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW

WHAT A BEAU, BEAU, BEAU
SHOULD DO, BABY
SO DON'T, DON'T, DON'T

SAY IT WON'T, WON'T, WON'T
COME TRUE, BABY
MY HEART BEGINS TO HUM

DUM, DE, DUM
DE, DUM, DUM, DUM
SO DO, DO, DO
WHAT YOU'VE DONE
DONE, DONE
DO, DO, DO
WHAT YOU'VE DONE
DONE, DONE BE—
Segue, as GENE toys with the women…who will he choose?
♪ Nobody But You

GENE
(Breaking away and singing to all three women)
MANY QUEENS I HAVE SEEN
ON THE STAGE AND THE SCREEN
HAROLD crosses in and hands GENE his mug continues off. GENE continues
singing, never missing a beat or acknowledging getting the mug.
WHO WOULD NEVER DO
NINA BURKE, ALICE JOYCE
NONE OF THEM WERE MY CHOICE
BUT, WHEN I MET YOU
MY THUMPING HEART
THE VERY START
KNEW RIGHT AWAY, DEAR
WHY I SAY, DEAR
NOBODY BUT YOU

6/1/11 Page 65
WOMEN
OOH
GENE
NOBODY WILL DO
WOMEN
WILL YOU?
GENE
I HAVE SEEN THEM ALL
BUT DIDN’T FALL UNTIL I SAW YOU
YOU KNOW IT’S NO BUT YOU, BUT YOU
WHO’S LOCKED IN MY HEART?

WHO’S MY LITTLE YUM YUM?
HOW’D HE TELL ME WHO?
YOU KNOW, IT’S NOBODY BUT
(Pointing LESLIE)
NOBODY BUT
(Pointing to NINA)
NOBODY BUT
GENE chooses JANE.
YOU
LESLIE AND NINA
(Horrified)
What!!!!
♪ They All Laughed

JANE
THE ODDS WERE A HUNDRED TO ONE AGAINST ME
THE WORLD THOUGHT THE HEIGHTS WERE TOO HIGH TO CLIMB
BUT PEOPLE FROM MISSOURI NEVER INCENSED ME
OH, I WASN'T A BIT CONCERNED
FOR FROM HIST'RY I HAD LEARNED
HOW MANY, MANY TIMES THE WORM HAD TURNED
THEY ALL LAUGHED AT CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS

WHEN HE SAID THE WORLD WAS ROUND
THEY ALL LAUGHED WHEN EDISON RECORDED SOUND
THEY ALL LAUGHED AT WILBUR AND HIS BROTHER
WHEN THEY SAID THAT MAN COULD FLY
THEY TOLD MARCONI

WIRELESS WAS A PHONY
IT'S THE SAME OLD CRY
THEY LAUGHED AT ME WANTING YOU
SAID I WAS REACHING FOR THE MOON
6/1/11 Page 66
BUT OH, YOU CAME THROUGH

NOW THEY'LL HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR TUNE
THEY ALL SAID WE NEVER COULD BE HAPPY

THEY LAUGHED AT US AND HOW!
BUT HO, HO, HO!
WHO'S GOT THE LAST LAUGH NOW?
Lights shift, as JANE takes GENE’s coffee mug from him and uses it as her
Academy Award.
(Fantasizing)
Ahh, Ahh, I won, I won, I can’t believe I won. This is the greatest moment in my life.
(Feigning modesty, at first, and referring to the other WOMEN))
And to be included with all of these beautiful and talented women…is truly an honor.
(To the other WOMEN)
Their performances kissing the star were very good. Very good, indeed.
(To “audience”)
But not good enough. Because when I kiss, I mean it…I really, really mean it. And I promise
my fans to keep kissing him for many years to come.
(Throwing kisses)
I love you. I love you.
(To the award)
I love you.
She kisses the award.
Lights up.
THEY LAUGHED AT ME WANTING YOU
SAID IT WOULD BE, "HELLO, GOODBYE."
BUT OH, YOU CAME THROUGH
NOW THEY'RE EATING HUMBLE PIE
THEY ALL SAID WE'D NEVER GET TOGETHER

DARLING, LET'S TAKE A BOW
FOR HO, HO, HO!
WHO'S GOT THE LAST LAUGH?
HEE, HEE, HEE!
LET'S AT THE PAST LAUGH
HA, HA, HA!
WHO'S GOT THE LAST LAUGH NOW?"
Button…applause.
HAROLD
All right, that’s a rap. We’ve got it in the can. Thanks everyone, for a great day’s work.
GENE
(Grabbing his coffee mug)
Bye girls…love to stay and play, but I’ve got a dinner date with my next leading lady.
GENE exits.
6/1/11 Page 67
JANE
Then go. Have a wonderful time. With your beautiful date with your beautiful leading lady. I
didn’t even want to go to dinner. I’m not even hungry.
WOMEN look at each other.
Well, I’m not.
(Taking a beat)
I’ll get a cat.
LESLIE AND NINA
A cat?
LESLIE
When I broke up with my boyfriend, he left me his cat.
NINA
He left you his cat?
LESLIE
Yeah…and now every time that cat coughs up a furball, I think of him. Men…can’t live with
‘em.
NINA
Can’t live with ‘em.
♪ Boy, What Love Has Done To Me

LESLIE
I FETCH HIS SLIPPERS, FILL UP THE PIPE HE SMOKES
I COOK THE KIPPERS, LAUGH AT HIS OLDEST JOKES
YET HERE I ANCHOR, I MIGHT HAVE HAD A BANKER
BOY! WHAT LOVE HAS DONE TO ME
NINA
HIS NATURE'S FUNNY, QUARRELSOME HALF THE TIME
AND AS FOR MONEY, HE HASN'T GOT A DIME
AND HERE'S THE JOKER, I MIGHT HAVE HAD A BROKER
LESLIE AND NINA
WHEN A GUY LOOKS MY WAY
DOES HE GET EMPHATIC, SAY HE GETS DRAMATIC?
I JUST WANNA FLY 'WAY
BUT IF I LEFT HIM I'D BE ALL AT SEA
I'M JUST A SLAVEY, LIFE IS A FUNNY THING

HE'S GOT THE GRAVY, I GOT NO WEDDING RING
AND STILL I LOVE HIM, THERE'S NOBODY ABOVE HIM
JANE
And me.
HIS BRAINS ARE MINUS,
6/1/11 Page 68
NEVER A THOUGHT IN SIGHT

AND YET HIS HIGHNESS
LECTURES ME DAY AND NIGHT;
OH WHERE WAS MY SENSE
TO WANT A WEDDING LICENCE?
BOY! WHAT LOVE HAS DONE TO ME!
LESLIE
MY LIFE HE'S WRECKING, BET YOU COULD FIND HIM NOW
NINA
OUT SOMEWHERE NECKING SOMEBODY ELSE'S FRAU
JANE
YOU GET TO KNOW LIFE WHEN STICKIN’ TO A LOW LIFE
ALL 3
I CAN'T HOLD MY HEAD UP

THE BUTCHER, THE BAKER, OH NO HE'S A FAKER
BROTHER I AM FED UP
JANE
BUT IF I LEFT HIM HE'D BE UP A TREE
NINA AND LESLIE
UP A TREE
ALL 3
WHERE WILL IT WIND UP, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M AT
I MAKE MY MIND UP, I OUGHTA LEAVE HIM FLAT
BUT I HAVE GROWN SO, I LOVE THAT DIRTY SO-AND-SO
BOY! WHAT LOVE HAS DONE TO ME-------------!
The WOMEN exit vaudeville-style.
Button…applause.
WOMEN re-enter…vaudeville-style.
WHERE WILL IT WIND UP, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M AT
I MAKE MY MIND UP, I OUGHTA LEAVE HIM FLAT
BUT I HAVE GROWN SO, I LOVE THAT DIRTY SO-AND-SO
LESLIE
NINA
JANE
6/1/11 Page 69
LESLIE and NINA exit vaudeville-style. JANE is left center stage.
HAROLD brings mirror back on and drops it center stage.
HAROLD
Hey, all contract players are supposed to be on the bus. And your costume should be back
on the rack. You better hurry, they’re all about to leave.
HAROLD starts to leave. Turns back.
Oh, and by the way, the director said the camera really likes you.
HAROLD exits.
♪ Isn’t It a Pity (verse)

JANE
(Looking in the mirror and singing to herself)
WHY DID I WANDER
HERE AND THERE AND YONDER
WASTING PRECIOUS TIME
FOR NO REASON OR RHYME
ISN'T IT A PITY
ISN'T IT A CRIME
MY JOURNEYS ENDED
EVERYTHING IS SPLENDID
MEETING YOU TODAY

HAS GIVEN ME A WONDERFUL IDEA
JANE goes back through the mirror.
HERE I STAY
♪ Underscoring in…“Funny Face”
HAROLD enters with clipboard.
HAROLD
Well, they finally got the scene…it’s a rap. You’ll have a lot of extras to make up tomorrow.
We are starting the fencing scene fist thing in the morning. So, bring the fake blood…more is
more. You turning out the lights?
JANE
Yeah. I got ‘em. You know, maybe we’re better off, you and me. I don’t know if royalty’s
everything it’s cracked up to be.
HAROLD
(Exiting with full length mirror)
Goodnight…beautiful.
6/1/11 Page 70
♪ Funny Face – Reprise

JANE
(Looking at herself in the hand mirror)
YOUR SUNNY, FUNNY FACE;
FOR YOU’RE A CUTEY
WITH A LOT OF PERSONALITY FOR ME
YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF SMILES
FOR MILES, AND MILES, AND MILES
THOUGH YOU’RE NO MONA LISA
FOR WORLDS I’D NOT REPLACE
Lights fade.
The End…
…of Funny Face section

6/1/11 Page 71
HE LOVES AND SHE LOVES
Songs in “He Loves and She Loves” section:

Lady Be Good and Medley of Songs
Swanee
Someone To Watch Over Me
They Can’t Take That Away From Me
Shall We Dance?
I’ve Got Beginners Luck
Embraceable You
Rhapsody in Blue – Dénouement
The scene is played in a more modern romantic comedy style that becomes
romantic fantasy…When Harry met Sally, Annie Hall meets It’s a Wonderful Life.
♪ Underscoring in “Rhapsody in Blue”
Projection: Somewhere in the World…Today.
♪ Underscoring change…intro to “He Loves and She Loves”
GENE is revealed in a pool of light center stage. He is in a rather intense

conversation on his cell phone/handheld (PDA) device. At some point, he
crosses to DSR and a pool of light comes up on the opposite side of the stage
on NINA…also on her cell phone/handheld (PDA) device. She is listening.
LESLIE, dressed as she was in “An American in Paris” and holding a rose, is
standing on the platform USC with HAROLD and JANE in front of piano.
♪ Oh, Lady Be Good and Medley of Songs

NINA (WITH BACKUP)
OH, SWEET AND LOVELY LADY, BE GOOD
OH, LADY, BE GOOD TO ME
I AM SO AWF'LY MISUNDERSTOOD
SO LADY, BE GOOD TO ME
OH, PLEASE HAVE SOME PITY

I'M ALL ALONE IN THIS BIG CITY
I TELL YOU I'M JUST A LONESOME BABE IN THE WOOD,

SO LADY BE GOOD TO ME.
ALL
OH LADY BE GOOD TO ME.
JANE
I AM JUST A LITTLE GIRL
WHO’S LOOKING FOR A LITTLE BOY WHO’S
6/1/11 Page 72
ALL
I AM SO AWF’LY MISUNDERSTOOD
OH, LADY BE GOOD TO ME
HAROLD
YOU GOT WHAT GETS ME
WHAT GETS ME YOU GOT
LESLIE
HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON
ALL
OH, PLEASE HAVE SOME PITY
NINA
I GOT PLENTY OF NOTHIN’
ALL
I’M ALL ALONE IN THIS BIG CITY
GENE
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, MOON
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, CROON
ALL
I’M JUST A LONESOME BABE IN THE WOOD
SO, LADY BE GOOD TO
LADY BE GOOD TO
LADY BE GOOD TO ME
HAROLD
♪ Swanee
HAROLD (WITH BACKUP)
I'VE BEEN AWAY FROM YOU A LONGTIME
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MISS 'YA SO
SOMEHOW I FEEL, YOUR LOVE IS REAL
NEAR YOU I LONG TO BE
THE BIRDS ARE SINGING IT IS SONGTIME

THE BANJOS STRUMMING SOFT AND LOW
I KNOW THAT YOU YEARN FOR ME TO
SWANEE YOU'RE CALLING ME
SWANEE, HOW I LOVE YA, HOW I LOVE YA

MY DEAR OLD SWANEE
I'D GIVE THE WORLD TO BE AMONG THE FOLKS IN D-I-X-I-E-VEN
NOW MY MAMMY'S WAITING FOR ME,
PRAYING FOR ME DOWN BY THE SWANEE
THE FOLKS UP NORTH WILL SEE ME NO MORE
6/1/11 Page 73
WHEN I GET TO THAT SWANEE SHORE

ALL
SWANEE, SWANEE
I COMIN’ BACK TO SWANEE
MAMMY, MAMMY
I LOVE THE OLD FOLKS AT HOME
ALL
I LOVE YOU SWANEE
HAROLD
HOW I LOVE YA, HOW I LOVE YA
MY DEAR OLD SWANEE.
ALL
I'D GIVE THE WORLD IF I COULD ONLY BE
SITTIN’ ON MY MAMMY’S KNEE
I LOVE THE OLD FOLKS
I LOVE THE YOUNG FOLKS
OH, MY HONEY LAMB

YOU’LL LOVE ‘EM ALL IN ALABAMEE
MAMMY, MAMMY
YOUR WANDERIN’ CHILD WILL
WANDER NO MORE
WHEN I GET TO THAT
SWANEE SHORE
♪ Someone to Watch Over Me

LESLIE
THERE'S A SOMEBODY I'M LONGING TO SEE
I HOPE THAT HE, TURNS OUT TO BE
SOMEONE WHO'LL WATCH OVER ME
I'M A LITTLE LAMB WHO'S LOST IN THE WOOD

I KNOW I COULD, ALWAYS BE GOOD
TO ONE WHO'LL WATCH OVER ME
♪ Underscoring ‘S Wonderful vintage recording…
LESLIE
(Holding rose and speaking her email)
I wanted to give you something of mine…all my old record albums with all my favorite songs.
But then I realized you don’t have a record player. How would you play them? But, rest
assured, that in this modern age, I found a way to get them to you. You should have them
now. So, if you want, you can share them with your friend. They’re all songs of love…songs
of love that inspire stories of love.
Segue to…
6/1/11 Page 74
♪ They Can’t Take That Away From Me

GENE
THE WAY YOU WEAR YOUR HAT
THE WAY YOU SIP YOUR TEA
THE MEMORY OF ALL THAT
NO THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME
NINA
THE WAY YOUR SMILE JUST BEAMS
THE WAY YOU SING OFF KEY
THE WAY YOU HAUNT MY DREAMS
NO THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME
GENE AND NINA
WE MAY NEVER NEVER MEET AGAIN, ON THAT BUMPY ROAD TO LOVE
BUT I'LL ALWAYS, ALWAYS KEEP THE MEMORY OF
LESLIE, HAROLD AND JANE
OOO…ETC…
NINA
THE WAY YOU HOLD YOUR KNIFE
GENE
THE WAY WE DANCED TILL THREE
ALL
THE WAY YOU CHANGED MY LIFE
GENE AND NINA
NO, NO THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME
LESLIE
SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME
ALL
NO, THEY CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME
Button…applause.
LESLIE
Most of the songs I sent you are songs we would dance when we were your age. Some fast
and fun…some slow and romantic…we loved to dance. I’ll never forget the day I met your
grandfather, we were waking the streets of Paris and out of nowhere he just grabbed me…
♪ Chord hit…
…and started jitterbugging.
♪ Underscoring…swing groove
I didn’t know how to jitterbug…it was a brand new dance from America. He led. And I
followed. The way he held me, and looked in my eyes, I would have followed him anywhere.
6/1/11 Page 75
♪ Shall We Dance?
HAROLD and JANE dance the jitterbug as GENE and NINA sing as the listen to
their devices with their earbuds.
GENE, NINA AND LESLIE

SHALL WE DANCE
OR KEEP ON MOPING?
SHALL WE DANCE
AND WALK ON AIR?
SHALL WE GIVE IN TO DESPAIR?
OR SHALL WE DANCE WITH NEVER A CARE?
LIFE IS SHORT
WE'RE GROWING OLDER
DON'T YOU BE AN ALSO-RAN
YOU'D BETTER DANCE, LITTLE LADY
DANCE, LITTLE MAN
DANCE WHENEVER YOU CAN
JANE
DROP THAT LONG FACE
COME ON HAVE YOUR FLING
WHY KEEP NURSING THE BLUES?
HAROLD
IF YOU WANT THIS OLD WORLD ON A STRING
PUT ON YOUR DANCING SHOES
STOP WASTING TIME
Dance
GENE and NINA look each other in the eyes and touch each other, as the music
moves them to connect and dance!
♪ I’ve Got Beginner’s Luck

ALL
I'VE GOT BEGINNER'S LUCK
THE FIRST TIME THAT I'M IN LOVE
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU
GOSH, I'M LUCKY

THERE NEVER WAS SUCH A SMILE
OR SUCH EYES SO TRUE
GOSH, I'M FORTUNATE
ALL
THIS THING WE'VE BEGUN
IS MUCH MORE THAN A PASTIME
6/1/11 Page 76
FOR THIS TIME IS THE ONE

WHERE THE FIRST TIME IS THE LAST TIME
LUCKY, THROUGH AND THROUGH
CAUSE THE FIRST TIME THAT I'M IN LOVE

HAROLD, JANE AND LESLIE
LIFE IS SHORT
WE’RE GROWING OLDER
YOU’D BETTER DANCE LITTLE LADY
DANCE LITTLE MAN
DANCE WHENEVER YOU CAN
GENE AND NINA
HAROLD JANE AND LESLIE
SHALL WE DANCE
GENE AND NINA
SHALL WE DANCE
GENE AND NINA
DANCE WHENEVER WE CAN
GENE AND NINA
Button…applause.
LESLIE puts a tuxedo jacket on GENE. GENE looks at NINA who crosses to
himdance romantically, as LESLIE sings.
♪ Embraceable You
GENE
EMBRACE ME, MY SWEET EMBRACEABLE YOU
EMBRACE ME, YOU IRREPLACEABLE YOU
ALL
JUST ONE LOOK AT YOU
MY HEART GREW TIPSY IN ME
YOU AND YOU ALONE
BRING OUT THE GYPSY IN ME
I LOVE ALL THE MANY CHARMS ABOUT YOU

ABOVE ALL, I WANT MY ARMS ABOUT YOU
6/1/11 Page 77
DON'T BE A NAUGHTY BABY

GENE
COME TO PAPA
COME TO PAPA DO
ALL
MY SWEET EMBRACEABLE YOU
♪ Underscoring continues…“Embraceable You” Romantic and Rhapsodic.
Segue to…
♪ Rhapsody in Blue – Dénouement

GENE and NINA embrace…and kiss.
GENE looks at LESLIE, who is center stage holding the rose. GENE escorts
NINA to center stage. LESLIE give the rose to GENE, who takes it and offers it
to NINA. NINA takes the rose. They dance together with the rose. All begin to
walk off stage. Nina stops and crosses back to the piano. All watch as NINA
places the rose on the piano. All exit together (JANE and HAROLD SR, LESLIE
UR, and GENE and NINA SR).
The light pulls to the piano, as the pianist finishes the final chords of “Rhapsody
in Blue” … and button…blackout…applause.
6/1/11 Page 78
BOWS/FINALE
Lights up.
♪ I Got Rhythm – Reprise/Bows

Company enters and bows.
♪ Slap That Bass – Reprise/Finale

ALL sings to audience.
ALL
ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM…
THE WORLD IS IN A MESS
WITH POLITICS AND TAXES
AND PEOPLE GRINDING AXES
THERE’S NO HAPPINESS
ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM
RHYTHM LEAD YOUR ACE
THE FUTURE DOESN’T FRET ME
IF I CAN ONLY GET ME
SOMEONE TO SLAP THAT BASS
SLAP THAT BASS

SLAP IT TIL IT’S DIZZY
SLAP THAT BASS
KEEP THE RHYTHM BUSY
ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM
MISERY YOU’VE GOT TO GO
SLAP THAT BASS

USE IT LIKE A TONIC
SLAP THAT BASS
KEEP YOUR PHILHARMONIC
ZOOM, ZOOM, ZOOM
AND THE MILK AND HONEY WILL FLOW
DICTATORS WOULD BE BETTER OFF

IF THEY ZOOM, ZOOM NOW AND THEN
TODAY, YOU CAN SEE THAT THE HAPPIEST MEN
ALL GOT RHYTHM…
♪ Musical interlude…
Cast has a “party” on and around the piano.

ALL GOT…
6/1/11 Page 79
(Shouted)
I GOT RHYTHM
I GOT RHYTHM
Segue to…
♪ I Got Rhythm – Reprise/Finale

ALL
OLD MAN TROUBLE
I DON'T MIND HIM
I GOT STARLIGHT
I GOT SWEET DREAMS
I GOT MY MAN/GIRL
All exit.
Blackout button…applause.
House lights fade up.
Exit Music – Medley of Songs – Instrumental

The End

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6/1/11 Page 1

The Extraordinary Worlds

George and Ira Gershwin

GEORGE and IRA GERSHWIN

Conceived and Written by Musical Arrangements by

RAY RODERICK RICK HIP-FLORES

3rd Draft 6.1.11

(Working Names – MGM Prototypes for Writing Purposes Only)

HAROLD (LLOYD) – Male, Singer/Dancer and physical comedian a la silent

He Loves and She Loves

Overture – Vocal Prologue Entr’acte

♪ Rhapsody in Blue – Overture/Intro

LESLIE crosses to DSC into a pool of light.

♪ A brief Rhapsody in Blue interlude

Songs in “Nice Work” section:

Projection: New York City, 1928

♪ Underscoring in…Intro to “Nice Work”

A Pool of light fades up center stage on HAROLD, a young newspaper

♪ Nice Work If You Can Get It

STROLLING WITH THE ONE GIRL

♪ “I Got Rhythm – Typing Montage

HAROLD hands GENE the finished copy.

♪ Underscoring in…“Nice Work”

(Pointing to his “desk”)

GENE re-enters, leading LESLIE, a flapper/shop girl, toward HAROLD.

♪ Mechanical musical Underscoring in… “Concerto in F”

HE MUST MAKE LIFE A ROMANCE.

HE MUST BE TENDER AND TRUE

HIM GLAD HE ANSWERED

♪ Sweet underscoring in…“Boy Wanted”

HAROLD, standing upstage, sizes up LESLIE, thinking she’s the thief. He

♪ Exit flourish into…

♪ Sweet and Low Down (Stalk/Chase)

HAROLD tries to keep up with LESLIE, as a series slapstick bits occur a la

LESLIE enters. Like a sleuth, HAROLD follows her in a silent-movie-style…she

HAROLD continues following LESLIE.

The OTHERS, dressed in trench coats and hats enter as if in Trolley

HAROLD, alone on stage, doesn’t know which way to go and exits R, as

♪ Kickin’ The Clouds Away

YOU CAN’T GO WRONG!

GET IN THE SWING!

IT’S NOT SO EASY TO DO

FOLLOW THE DANCIN’ CROWDS

FOLLOW THE DANCIN’ CROWDS

NINA AND JANE

COP - STORE SECURITY (JANE)

♪ Nice Work – Reprise

♪ I’ve Got a Crush on You

IT'S NOT THAT YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE

COP (JANE) re enters followed by GENE.

♪ “Nice Work” underscoring in…

I Got Rhythm – Reprise

HAROLD immediately drags them from SL to SR and into the wings.

…of the “Nice Work” section

Songs in “Of Thee I Sing” section:

Location: 1957 New Orleans

Projection: New Orleans, 1957

♪ segue to “The Man I Love” intro…

A pool of light fades up on NINA, a cabaret singer, sitting on a stool, center

♪ The Man I Love

HE'LL LOOK AT ME AND SMILE,

MAYBE I SHALL MEET HIM SUNDAY

STILL I'M SURE TO MEET HIM ONE DAY

HE'LL BUILD A LITTLE HOME, JUST MEANT FOR TWO

'Swonderful! LIBRETTO (A)

'Swonderful! LIBRETTO (A)