CHAPTER ONE.

Summer was fun for everyone else but me and it would have been fun for me too had I had fun. We had
our cousins over, a full house. A week before their arrival my parents had begged us to be of good
behaviour, my mum had promised to let us have takeouts and my dad had promised to buy anything we
wanted. It was in the kitchen that night, of our gigantic duplex that my dad named Metuhs' Palace,
somewhat cliché but he loved it. He had always told us stories of how hard he had had to work to get all
we had without anyone else's help, not even his parents' and how we should also work hard and carry
on the legacy because many eyes were watching our every step hoping we would fall. I secretly thought
he was referring to his family members seeing as we never met them, we only knew Mum's family, and
all our cousins are from my mum's side.

'You know the drill girls. You must be nice and polite, do not fight and if you do have disagreements,
settle it like adults and do not let it fester till the next summer', mum had said looking particularly at me
amidst slicing onions.

'What, I had replied, He didn't apologize. I can't forgive without an apology'.

'It's since last summer Tunrayo learn to let go', my older sister Tiwa had said. 'Anyway Dad can I have
my sleepover with Tracy now?'

'No Tiwa, not again, you can have anything but that. What would you like Baby T?' Dad had said.

'I do not want anything! And stop calling me that I'm 16!' I had screamed and run to my room through
the stairs.

We are what people call Ajebutter, me and my sister. We had zero worries and never thought things
could turn sideways, that life could happen, but it did, quite harshly. That summer was the last we saw
of our parents. We did have our cousins over the following week and while everyone played games,
danced and simply had fun, I kept to myself, angry, knowing that my parents would come beg me later
and give in to my wishes which were to get an iPad and to not go to that godforsaken school. A few
weeks into the summer my parents had gone out on a date and instead of their return, my mum's
brother and his wife, Uncle Femi and Mummy Ade had come and taken our cousins into their car and
then Uncle Femi explained to us very briefly like it shouldn't mean anything,

'Your parents had an accident on their way and things are about to change for you two'.
CHAPTER TWO.

I am ice-cold. Not only because of the terribly freezing weather here in the north but basically because
I'm devoid of feelings. I just watch every day get past, with nothing to live for but anger, this
'godforsaken school' is the best hiding place. A place to wear your camouflage, literally, and hide from
yourself and the rest of the world. I don't remember the last time I genuinely laughed and why would I?
Nothing is worth anything, there's no joy as we say it. It's been 2 and a half years since they passed and I
remember and relive that night in my head like it was yesterday. A lot has happened since. Uncle Femi
took us in for a while but he couldn't possibly foster us and four of his own kids so when I got the
admission into the police academy, the 'godforsaken school', it was a relief. It's a government-funded
school, accommodations, feeding and every other thing taken care of, but Dad didn't want me to come
because of that, he just had this strong passion for the force and wanted to live it through me. My sister,
Tiwa stayed with Uncle Femi but moved out after a year to stay on her own. Suffice it to say that we
have nothing now, no house, no cars, no money, just two estranged orphans. My father's family
members, whom we'd never known laid claims to it all, they claimed my mum had used juju on my dad
and made him forget them and that we were bastards. It was useless fighting anyway.

So I hide away from my sister and from the world in this regimented school with rigorous training and
activities because I hate myself and the world just as much. I haven't grieved nor cried since the incident
and I haven't spoken to my sister for over six months. I never miss activities, they keep me going but I
might just get dismissed over bad grades, then I wouldn't be able to go on and then I'd fail him... To
grieve would mean to break down and that'd be too expensive, I'll have to let go, of life. If only Tiwa
could see that I'm taking her advice.

I know how cowardly my plan is but it's the only way to end it. My anger is making me so violent I can
hardly recognize myself. The other day I slapped a junior girl but I was lucky she was too scared to report
me. I tried to move on in this place, I even changed my name to Bridget and I'm ashamed of it. I don't
belong here and the outside world is unfamiliar. I don't belong anywhere. So I'm going to go on with my
plan, tonight.

My phone rings, an unknown number. It could be my boyfriend, at least he deserves to know he

wouldn't see me ever again so I pick it up.

'Hello'.

'Motunrayo, you're still alive?' I recognize that pitchy voice that always reminded me of Mum. It's Tiwa.

'What do you mean by that?' I replied

'How long has it been? Six months? I called, texted, and you know how impossible it is to come see you
in your school. You've left me so worried'.

'It's not my fault', I said glumly.

'I understand that you maybe wanted some time to yourself to grieve in your own way but did it occur
to you that I needed to grieve too? That I needed you? That maybe we could be there for each other?
The second you gained your admission you packed up and left. For two years Tunrayo we haven't
properly talked. What's going on with you?'

'I'm... I'm sorry.. I sobbed, for the first time in two years. 'I have been so selfish..so..angry...I thought I'd
please him by coming here...that I could pretend I didn't blatantly refuse him.. I was so foolishly angry
that I didn't talk to them the whole summer... I don't even... remember..the last thing they said to
me...all I remember was constantly nagging at them...maybe that's why he wanted to send me
here...maybe it was my punishment..and I deserve all of it..'

'Do you remember, said Tiwa, that night when Dad asked what we wanted and I said I wanted to
sleepover at Tracy's? I was actually going to go hangout with Dare and Dad said no. I had planned to
sneak out the night they died but Mum caught me. She told me, 'don't waste your life Tiwa, you're my
eldest. Learn to make the right choices', and I.. I hissed at her and walked out. That was the last thing
Mum said to me. I always wish I could take it back or I don't remember at all. So no Tunrayo, it wasn't a
punishment, it was a blessing. Dad had secured your future. It was your gift, the last one.

Then it dawned on me, the last good thing I could give him in return is to live this dream of his and it's
not too late!