A Letter to Myself

My dearest self,

I know you’re having a hard time right now. Thinking of all the things in
your life that has gone wrong. You always tend to blame yourself for everything, where
in fact, they are out of your control. Don’t call yourself a failure. I know you’re doing
everything to be the best version of yourself. I believe in you. I believe that you can
surpass everything. You are strong and you can face fear and you can hold space for
your emotions, no matter how hard it is.

I always hope that you won’t give up and stop putting yourself down.
Be honest that you are fighting through a lot of shame, guilt, fear, and anger about your
past. Don’t try to pretend that you’re okay. It's totally okay to admit that you have
struggles. Don’t lie and don’t be harsh to yourself. Everything will be okay soon. You
just need to take some time to think, distance yourself from everything that makes you
sick, and trust that the waves will pass.

I know you’re blaming yourself from all the opportunities you’ve missed
because of shyness and low self-esteem. You grow up having no confidence to face
people and you’ve always been insecure. You’ve been hating the person you see when
you face in the mirror. You have trouble accepting who you are. I know it’s tough and it
takes a lot of work and intentionality, but you will get there and thrive. You must work on
your negative emotions, unhealthy thought patterns or toxic behaviors.

You don’t have to force people to do things you expect them to do. You
don’t must force relationships and people to stay. You don’t have to tolerate
relationships that drain you. You don’t have to show up for people who have no interest
in showing up for you. You must let go and let things flow to you. Don’t be afraid if they
don’t work. I know you always feel unworthy, and you separate yourself from others,
you isolate and feel all alone. You must see your worth because you deserve better.
You don’t need to be always there for everyone. You need to prioritize yourself first
before anything.

You are beautiful. You have something to offer too. You have
potentials. You too deserve all the compliment and positive adjectives you used to tell
others. Even if the world isn’t giving you hack the favor, just always be gentle on
yourself. You must be okay on your own. Padayon.