ATTACHMENT

STYLES
 Self Healing Avoidant Attachment
Learn to Self-Soothe
Adrenaline Isn't Love
• When fears of abandonment arise, remain calm.
• Love is a steady, caring connection.
• Express fears instead of blame or control.
• Differentiate between excitement and
Stop Abandoning Yourself
love.
• Prioritize self-care and meet your needs.
Choose Wisely
• It's not selfish; it's self-care.
• Opt for emotionally available partners.
Shift Your Perspective
• Build a healthy relationship with the right
• Understand that others' actions may reflect their
person.
struggles.
Honesty from the Start
• Rejection isn't a personal attack.
• Be upfront about your feelings and needs.
Take Them Off the Pedestal
• Filter out incompatible matches naturally.
• Partners are human and have flaws.
• Remember this to ease pressure.
20
 Tips for Handling an Anxiously Attached Partner
Create a Safe Space
Recognize Triggers
• Offer a judgment-free zone for their feelings.
• Be patient and compassionate, considering past
Be Responsive
experiences.
• Understand their need for reassurance and
Reassurance
respond with compassion.
• Remind them of your commitment and love.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Encourage Self-Care
• Balance support with self-care for your well-
• Promote activities nurturing emotional well-being.
being.
Seek Professional Support
Clear Communication
• If needed, consider therapy or counseling
• Encourage open conversations about feelings
Navigating such a relationship requires:
and intentions.
• Empathy, Patience, Clear Communication
Active Listening
• Show empathy, especially during emotional
20
turbulence.
 Self Healing Avoidant Attachment
Self-Discovery
• Reflect on your attachment style and its origins.
• Understand it's not a permanent label but a
response to past experiences.
Embrace Vulnerability
• Hoist the flag of vulnerability proudly.
• Depend on others and express your needs.
Navigating Uncharted Waters
• Challenge self-reliance beliefs.
• Replace negative thoughts with positive
affirmations.
Seek Therapy
• Explore attachment history, patterns, and
healthier strategies.
Setting Sail into Unfamiliar Waters
• Step out of your comfort zone in social and emotional
situations.
Build Secure Relationships
• Seek relationships with secure individuals.
• Learn to trust and depend on others to reshape your
attachment style.
Self-Compassion
• Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.
• Healing is an adventure; stormy seas may appear.
Patience and Persistence
• Celebrate progress on your journey to a healthier
attachment style.
20
 Tips for Handling an Avoidant Attachment Partner
Respect Their Independence
• Honor their need for personal space and autonomy.
• Avoid pressuring them to open up prematurely.
Clear Communication
• Use direct communication, focusing on practical
matters.
• They prefer intellectual discussions over emotional
ones.
Practice Patience
• Give them time to process emotions and thoughts.
• Avoid pressuring them for immediate responses.
Acknowledge Their Strengths
• Reassure them that their independence is valued.
• Celebrate their unique strengths.
Validate Their Emotions
• Validate their feelings without dismissing them.
• Create a safe space for emotional sharing.
Stay Calm During Conflicts
• Remain composed during conflicts and avoid
escalations.
• Give them space when needed.
Respect Their Alone Time
• Understand their need for solitude to recharge.
• Know it doesn't reflect their feelings toward you.
Support Self-Reflection
• Encourage self-reflection and personal growth.
• Explore their attachment style and past
experiences.
Pay Attention to Actions
• They may struggle with verbal expressions of
emotions.
• Pay attention to actions that convey care and
support.
Set Realistic Expectations
• Understand they may not express emotions openly.
• Set expectations based on their attachment style.
Consider Professional Support
• Professional guidance can benefit the relationship.
20
 Self Healing Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
Self-Awareness
• Acknowledge your attachment style
• Reflect on past experiences shaping your beliefs about
intimacy and love.
Seek Professional Help
• Process past traumas and build emotional resilience.
Embrace Vulnerability
• Begin with sharing thoughts and feelings.
• Gradually practice vulnerability in safe environments.
Challenge Negative Beliefs
• Identify and challenge negative self-beliefs.
• Replace self-doubt and criticism with self-compassion.
Develop Emotional Regulation
• Use mindfulness and meditation for grounding.
• Practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques.
Establish Healthy Boundaries
• Learn to set and communicate boundaries.
• Prioritize well-being and emotional needs.
Communicate
• Work on assertive and honest communication.
• Foster understanding and connection.
Build Self-Esteem
• Celebrate strengths and achievements.
• Surround yourself with positive influences.
Self-Care
• Prioritize physical and emotional well-being.
• Engage in activities that bring joy and balance.
Challenge Relationship Patterns
• Recognize and avoid repeating unhealthy patterns.
• Assess behaviors for current well-being and goals. 20
 Tips for Handling Fearful- Avoidant Attachment Partner
Be Patient
• Recognize past traumas may make emotions and intimacy •
challenging. Allow them to process at their own pace.
Offer Emotional Support
• Show empathy and create a non-judgmental environment.
• Encourage them to express emotions without fear.
Respect Boundaries
• Understand their need for independence.
• Avoid pressuring them to be vulnerable prematurely.
Encourage Communication
• Foster open and honest dialogue.
• Let them know you're available to listen.
Validate Their Feelings
• Confirm that their emotions are valid.
• Assure them they're not alone in their struggles.
Educate Yourself
Respond with empathy and understanding.
Set Healthy Boundaries
• Prioritize your well-being and emotional needs.
• Establish boundaries while offering support.
Encourage Professional Help
• In cases of significant trauma impact, suggest therapy.
• Support them on their healing journey.
Build Trust
• Develop trust over time. Be consistent and reliable in your
actions.
Celebrate Progress
• Celebrating their efforts can be motivating.
Mind Triggers
• Be aware of potential triggers. 20
• Create a safe and supportive environment.
THANK YOU!
Liz Uimbia – 0722842490
Email – liz@lifeconnect.or.ke
www.lifeconnect.or.ke
10