Junior English STUDENT: Maddy

Memoir writing TEACHER:

Common Assessment Task # 9.1

WRITING TASK - MEMOIR

Craft a piece of memoir writing that could be part of a longer chapter about your life. Focus on one
small event that has been memorable or significant. The purpose of your memoir is to put the
reader in your shoes so that they can understand your experience. Use a first-person narrative.
Carefully consider the use of imagery and comparative language. Use your study of Tobias Wolff’s
memoir, This Boy’s Life, to help you craft your writing.

Word count 200-250 words.

EXEMPLAR

Legs wobbling and arms flailing about, it was inevitable I was going to fall. Heat from the
midday sun beat down on my back as the water lapped gently against the paddleboard.
The conditions were perfect, if only I could keep my balance. Cries of, “you’ve got this!”
came from the shore, willing me to remain upright. My feet clung to the surface of the
board and it felt like every muscle in my body was working.

Minutes earlier I had been gliding gracefully like a swan across the mirrored surface, the
sun reaching out its arms and embracing me in its warm rays. The reeds poked up out of
the water like soldiers standing to attention, and pied stilts peeked out between their
ranks. Maybe it was overconfidence. I left my turn too late. I was beyond the tipping point.
I could hear laughter from the shore. Splash! I needed to cool off anyway.

PLANNING

1) Think of a few different moments from your life that were special or interesting and list
them below:
crashing the motorbike
falling off my horse
a timed jumping round

2) From this list choose one moment that you will focus on for your memoir writing.
a timed jumping round

3) Answer the following questions about this moment:

● Where were you? Stonehurst equestrian farm
● Who were you with? my mum, sister, and horse
● When did it take place? How old were you? July 2020, 12
● Why was it memorable - what happened? there were eight jumps and I had to do all of
them as fast as I could without getting out of control or falling or having a refusal.

4) Sensory imagery - describe the moment through your different senses

 sight the blur of the brightly coloured show jumps.

sound the soft rhythmic hoofbeats and birds.

smell the clouds of sand and wildlife.

taste the dryness of my mouth.

touch the soft leather reins and the fabric of my gloves.

DRAFTING AND EDITING

5) Start drafting your memoir, keeping the purpose of your memoir in mind.
‘Go!’ i heard fainty as we sprung forward, it was as if she understood as much as I did. “Check
please,” I murmured and sat more deeply, waiting and waiting for the moment I would see the
line. I knew this was risky and we needed complete trust in each other to pull this off. I saw my
chance and went and immediately it became apparent that it was the right move. my hair
whipped out behind me as we turned sharply and as I regained my seat I pushed us on and looked
straight ahead, “One, two three…” My hands slid up and I came forward for a second before I
pushed back as we landed. One down seven to go. etc etc etc (show don’t tell)

6) What writing conventions or language features have you used in your writing to help the reader
put themselves in your shoes and experience what you experienced?

● dialogue
● adjectives
● concrete nouns
● sensory imagery
● metaphor, simile, personification
● verbs

Read back through your draft. What improvements can you make to help the reader get a clearer
picture?

PROOFREADING AND POLISHING

7) Proofreading time. Once you have finished your memoir, go back through it and proofread for
the following:

● spelling
● punctuation (focus carefully on punctuation if you have used dialogue)
● sentence structure (focus carefully on sentence fragments and run-on sentences)
● capital letters
● paragraphing

Correct any errors you find. It often helps to read your writing out loud to find errors. You may also
want to run a spelling and grammar check through Microsoft Word.

8) Upload your final copy to Google Classroom and print.

Your memoir writing will be assessed against this rubric.

FINAL COPY - START YOUR MEMOIR HERE

‘Go’ I heard faintly, we sprung forward, it was as if she understood as much as I did. “Check
please,” I murmured and sat more deeply, waiting and waiting for the moment I would see the
line. I knew this was risky and we needed complete trust in each other to pull this off. I saw my
chance and went and immediately it became apparent that it was the right move. My hair
whipped out behind me as we turned sharply and as I regained my seat I pushed us on and looked
straight ahead, “One, two three…” My hands slid up and I came forward for a second before I
pushed back as we landed, immediately my head turned to see the next jump. Two down seven to
go.

I sat deeper and pulled back a little before this jump because it was what we call the chicken
fence, the fence that’s on a weird angle, the fence that’s a weird color, stuff like that.
Unfortunately, this chicken fence had another fence obstructing it so that meant you had to come
in on a very difficult angle meaning you had to get the perfect stride or there would be trouble… A
sharp nudge with my heels seemed to do the trick as we popped neatly over. the world blurred
past as we sprung over each jump. Finally, we approached the double and I realized we needed to
get more impulsion, as I clucked my need for speed was answered as we got the strides perfect,
one, two, over. The last jump, a meaty spread seemed a lot bigger as we came up to it but, of
course, she already knew what she was doing as we sailed over it. I love my pony.

Teacher’s Comments:

The good features of your work are:

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The areas for improvement are:

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NZC Level _________