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Table of Contents
Illustration

Chapter 0: And then, nobody was there

Chapter 1: A Wild Sheep Chase

Chapter 2: Sickness Unto Death

Chapter 3: Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 4: The Happy Prince

Chapter 5: First Direct Encounter

Afterword

Credits

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Chapter 0: And then, nobody was there
From Azuki Azusa’s point of view, that kiss was something quite
unexpected. If you took their exchange into account, it could have
been obvious that something like this would happen sooner or later.
Of course, not this early in the morning, at a government office of all
places. The surprise was just this, and the impact wasn’t too big to
handle.

That day, she tagged along naturally, split up naturally, went home
naturally, went to bed naturally, got up naturally, and the following
day went to her friend’s house as if it were natural. While her friend
was preparing lunch, she herself traversed through the large
residence, only to find herself sitting down inside a moldy, dark
storehouse.

—Why am I here?
She tilted her head in confusion. That was how natural her actions
were. In front of her was the giant cat statue. The Stony Cat would
grant whatever wish you asked of it, but in a way you didn’t wish for.
Relying on the god of the house here would allow her to deal with
this situation in a more convenient way. That was why she shrugged
her shoulders.

—Please give me a new…

Before she realized it, she started praying like it was the most natural
thing to do. There was no memory of what she even wished for. It
might have been something that anybody would wish for. She herself
didn’t remember, maybe because she wasn’t even aware of it. To the
girl, everything in this world felt automatic. There was no shock to be
found. She is calm, she is ordinary, she is constant. She is, she is, she
is—-

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This manner of desperate thinking turned into devotion. Hence—

The Cat God disappeared from the storehouse so naturally that

nobody was aware of it.

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Chapter 1: A Wild Sheep Chase
During times when you communicate with a UFO, there are four
important steps to always keep in mind.

Step 1: Observe the other party from a safe distance.

Step 2: Leaving behind indications that you were there.

Step 3: Ensuring proper cultural exchange.

Step 4: Review unlawful abduction and confinement guidelines.

It would be an interesting setting for the start of a new story, don’t

you think? If a UFO came from the Andromeda Galaxy to look for a
groom, and especially if green tentacles and violet eyelashes were
her charming points, I’d blow past all the racial reformation laws and
warp out with her without a moment’s hesitation. As of right now,
though, I have no plans to partake in a second Apollo mission like
this. Instead, I want to argue that these four steps are actually very
much relatable to us humans.

This story all came about, as you can probably guess, at the point
where I met an extraterrestrial being for the first time.

It was in the middle of September, on the third Saturday of the

month. The scent of fragrant olives drifted through the air beneath
the bright blue sky with no cloud in sight. The time was currently
8am in the morning. I was riding on my bike on my way to school.

The day of the sports festival was slowly approaching, and our school
allowed us to come to school even on Saturdays. Various people
from various classes are all practicing their hardest to get ready.

“There’s also the pool contest, isn’t there?”

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But I would be an amateur if I let it end there. When you think of
sports festivals, you can’t forget the flag of all nations. If you’re part
of the winning class, you receive the used sports clothes from girls
who came from various countries all over the world! Ah, a dream like
that sure is nice, right? After that, you get pictures of girls doing the
peace sign, or SOS signs. From there you cross the seven seas, and
you’re suddenly the foreign player at someone else’s sports festival,
where you find a blond boing-boing girl you can get close to.

“—You seem as energetic as ever, Senpai.”

When someone tugged on my hair, I got off the saddle.

“W-What was that about? I was just thinking that I really wanted to
win this year.”

“Is that so? Still, even if you do, I think the chances of running into an
overseas beauty or an alien trying to learn from humans is practically
zero.”

“…You’re acting too much like an esper as of late! Do you actually

have telepathic powers like an alien would?!”

“No, but seeing how you are so much of a pervert that anybody
could read your lewd thoughts, I’m worried aliens might actually
come and communicate with you.” I heard a voice coming from the
luggage carrier of the ladies’ bike.

Her voice had no intonation, and there was no friendliness on her

face. Her voice was the perfect example of indifference, lacking any
sort of emotion. She has cat-tail hair on one side of her head, and
she looks like a small kitten—Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko. Today, we’re
riding to school as we normally do. Ever since the typhoon incident
last month, there are two things that have changed about
Tsutsukakushi.

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The first thing is this morning routine. Like a stray cat seeking a place
to sleep, she comes to my house every morning to wake me up. Even
though it’s in the opposite direction she should take to get to school.

“Are you really okay with this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I have to head to school early because of morning practice for

the sports festival. And you have to get up even earlier than me. I
was wondering if you were pushing yourself too much.”

“My race practice is early in the morning as well, so this is fine.”

“Ohh? And what race are you participating in, Tsutsukakushi?”

“………”

No response came. An uncomfortable sigh caused abrupt silence,

and that was the end of our conversation. It happened again. When I
grew quiet myself, I felt the girl’s warmth pressing against my back,
and she tugged on the hem of my shirt. Almost like a cat begging to
be fed.

This is the second thing about her that’s changed.

As of late, Tsutsukakushi would just act like she wasn’t listening to

me. Of course, when I said things like ‘The shadows of that tree
almost look like spats that would look great on you,’ then I
understood her reaction. But this could also happen normally during
a normal conversation, like right now.

The frequency of this happening varied greatly, but when it

happened, no matter what I tried, she would remain silent. In order
to get Tsutsukakushi to open her mouth again, there was only one
thing that worked. I cleared my throat.

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“U-Um, T-Tsu…”

“……”

“Tsukiko… What race are you participating in?”

“The rice cake eating race. I’m practicing so I can eat as much as I
can, so I’m participating in sports early in the morning so that my
stomach is fully empty.”

“Even if you don’t do that, you’re a demonic god who’s always had
an empty stomach ever since you were born.”

“That is very rude. I am just eating as much as I can so my growth

spurt happens as quickly as possible.”

“Hahaha, you’re like a mammal preparing for the next Ice Age… I’m
looking forward to seeing you like that, Tsu… Tsukiko.”

“Yes, you can look forward to seeing me all grown up.”

I laughed, and I felt the girl behind me let out a satisfied breath as
well. Like that, the frozen time and mood started moving again.
Basically, Tsukiko-chan of the Tsutsukakushi Household seems to be
really bothered if I don’t call her ‘Tsukiko’. For some reason, I feel
oddly nervous whenever I call her like that. I think ‘Moon Child’
sounds pretty interesting, though.

“What are you going to practice today, Senpai?”

“I think I might join practice for the variety competition relay. But
first I have to look for someone who could help me. The other relay
members aren’t exactly treating me like I’m a valid partner.”

“Why is that?”

“A lot happened last summer, right? There’s weird rumours going

around even within the first-years.”
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“Now that you mention it… You’re hated by every single
underclassman on this blue planet.”

“Ah, it’s that bad, huh?”

Tsutsukakushi filled me in to the point where I felt depressed. Has

she awoken to some kind of fetish for insulting me? Whose fault is
this? Who changed her? I shivered at the thought of it, but there was
no sign of her taking it any further. Instead, she seemed to be
fiddling around with her tail-hair.

“I’m the only junior close to you. Eventually I’ll start growing. Once I
become an adult, it will be mine. I see, I see.”

“…Um, Tsutsukakushi-san?”

“Calm and collected time of state and location with comforting

tranquility and master servant relationship. I see, I see, I see.”

Tsutsukakushi kept chanting like she was casting a weird magical

illusion, nodding the whole time. Her small head hit my back from
time to time. It feels like she’s knocking on the door of a beautiful
future. Why don’t you show me that future as well?

“…Now that I think about it, I’m actually not hungry this morning.”

“H-How did that happen?! The supply-and-demand chain for the

entire world will fall apart!”

“What do you mean by that? There are times when I feel full as well,
you know. I might not be able to practice for my rice cake eating
contest… My, I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands today.”

“Huh?”

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“…Since I have so much free time, I might just help someone I know
out with some training. I wonder if there is someone out there like
that.”

“A-Ahh! Ehm, then would you help me practice for my relay?”

“If you are desperate, I might give it some thought.”

“Please… Tsutsu… Tsukiko, help me.”

“It can’t be helped then, I will help you, Yo… Yoko… Yo… u… to…
kun…”

“Hm?”

“…I will give it some thought, Senpai.”

Tsutsukakushi fumbled over her words and suddenly cleared her

throat. She went a bit overboard, though, and started coughing for
real. It looked like it kind of hurt, to be honest. Anyway, as you can
tell (at least as far as I can tell), Tsutsukakushi has been in a good
mood lately. It’s the exact opposite of back when the typhoon was
going on. She seems to be in such a good mood that there’s one
thing she wouldn’t say again. Namely, ‘Let’s look for my feelings and
expressions.’ That’s the third, biggest change of it all.

If Tsutsukakushi herself is satisfied, then I have no right to bring it up.

But is it really fine to just stop like this? The heroine has given up on
the main plot line here. Why do I feel like things won’t be that easy?

“…Senpai.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“There’s a nice breeze, and it’s wonderful weather. It seems like

today will be a good day.”

“…Yeah, maybe. I hope so.”

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Well, if Tsutsukakushi is fine, then it should be okay, right? Pushed
along by the fall breeze, I started pedaling again. The small kitten got
back on the luggage carrier and softly held on to me. Tsutsukakushi is
happy, I’m happy, the world is happy—Only that girl isn’t happy.
When I thought of Azuki Azusa, my yawn swiftly changed into a sigh.

Azuki Azusa was a problem. Last week, she kept suddenly coming to
mind, even to a level where I would dream of her. Even someone like
me who doesn’t know any shame couldn’t forget about her. Things
got messy and complicated, and no matter where I went, Azuki
Azusa’s shadow would linger around my feet.

Well, I had set aside this problem for now, which I actually shouldn’t
have, because I know that it’s going to come back to bite me, and
ignoring it won’t help anything. The fall breeze was so comforting,
though, that I just totally neglected it. Maybe that might have been
the reason for a lot of things in the end.

‘To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most
difficult and the most intellectual.’
That’s what my personal God, Oscar Wilde, said a long time ago. If
you think about the flipside of that, for someone like me who’s
barely intellectual at all, the choice to not do anything is sheer
stupidity. Before I had realized it, it was already too late. Either way,
at this point in time, I, and possibly even Tsutsukakushi, had thought
that was the end of it.

—That is, until we ran into her.

When we went around the corner on our way to school, I had to step
on the brakes of this happy yellow bike we were riding on. Standing
in the dead center of the roadway in front of a park was a single
person raising both of their hands.
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“Careful!” I screamed those cliché words aloud like it would do
anything.

“Mugh.” Tsutsukakushi let out some kind of weird noise behind me.

When I turned around because of the dull impact hitting my back,

she was holding her nose with both hands, writhing in agony like a
fish on land. Her head probably ran right into my back because I
suddenly stepped on the brakes.

“S-Sorry! Are you okay?!”

If anything happened to Tsutsukakushi’s doll-like face, the world

would without a doubt end. While I was worried about
Tsutsukakushi, the girl standing in the middle of the street just stood
there, looking at me.

“………Hmph.”

She flapped her arms up and down and jumped up and down with
her body. At the same time, she looked up at me as if trying to
evaluate me. Yes, indeed, the person that I nearly ran over was
indeed a small girl. Tsutsukakushi would definitely be a strong
contender for the winner of the National Japan Miniature Girl Step-
sister contest (at least inside my head). That being said, if this girl in
front of us were to participate in the contest, things might actually
turn pretty dangerous for Tsutsukakushi’s position…

I mean, if you look at this girl, she’s a grade school student at best.
Yet the way she looked didn’t feel real at all. Her hair had a vivid
color as if it been ravished in the fierce sun of Mediterranian Sea. She
had her hair bound up in twintails with charming ribbons, like a gift
brought down to earth by God himself. Her big eyes looked like
rubies or topaz, giving off a feeling that she didn’t belong in this
country.

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She gave off a pleasant scent, making me wonder if she might
actually be using perfume. It was a sweet scent like if she had come
right out of a TV screen that was showing a foreign country. On top
of that, her shoulders and armpits were in plain view, which was the
result of a cute childish one-piece outfit, generating a lovable
atmosphere that really suited her age.

“…This is dangerous.” I spoke honestly.

This time, the words were different from before. Nowadays, our
country is highly dangerous. There’s perverts walking around early in
the morning like this who would fantasize about used sports wear
from countries all over the world, loitering around on their bikes.
Before this foreign girl gets taken off somewhere, I have to step in
and protect her with all my might. In times like these, Yokodera-kun
has to show his true value. The power to be misunderstood by other
people—’A person’s looks says 90%1’, activated!

“Say, what are you doing in a place like this? Are you alone? Where
are your parents? Or an older sister who just went through her
growth spurt that otherwise looks exactly like you?”

“Uuu?”

“…Do you have trouble speaking Japanese? Espagnol? Esperanto?

Espresso? Dou you habu a esu saizu sista?”

“Uuuu…”

“………”

I felt the limits of communication when it came to different cultures.

At the same time, I felt the limit of my own abilities even more. If I
had to guess, the girl probably couldn’t understand what I was
saying. She wore the face of an anxious wild animal. After that, she

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turned her outstretched arms upside down. She continued making
that motion with the palm of her hands facing downwards.

“Huh? Do you want me to get off my bike?”

“Uuu!” She moved her head up and down like a nod.

Her bound-together hair wiggled like a pair of snakes. When I

directed my gaze over to Tsutsukakushi, she gave a faint nod. I put
down my bike’s kickstand and slowly approached the girl. I met with
her gaze as I lowered my waist.

“Uuuu…”

As if to signal that I should crouch down more, she moved her arms
up and down, only stopping when my knees touched the ground.

“…Uuu.”

She then held out the palms of her hands, as if to tell me to stay just
like that, and took a few steps back. And just when she had put
approximately ten meters between us—

“—Fire!”

Like a bullet shot from a gun, she started charging, right towards me
at full speed.

“W-What are you doing?!”

Of course, being just your average high school student, I didn’t know
how to react to a bullet being shot in a normally peaceful town. I
couldn’t even move. With a half-broken posture, I could only watch
the bullet incoming.

“Uuuu—Fina—llyyyy?!”

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Right in front my eyes, at about a distance of one meter, the bullet
girl kicked the ground.

“…Uu?”

Only for her feet to slip.

“Unnnynaaaaaaaa?!”

Mid-air, her body turned two times and twisted once. If you played it
back in slow motion, it’d look as amazing as some of the things you
would see during the olympics. If I had to give it a name, I would call
it a beautiful moonsault. Everyone would give this a 10/10 score. It
was a perfect success. Every single move was executed flawlessly to
the utmost detail. There was nothing to complain about. If you take
out the fact that the place she landed was my face.

“Ouchhhh?!”

“Unnininya?!”

At a weight I estimated at around 30kg, a jump kick landed right on

my face. The only person who could keep standing after this kind of
impact would probably be a pro wrestler or a pro lolicon. Sadly, I am
neither of those, which is why my knees buckled and the back of my
head gave a passionate kiss to the asphalt. The only reason my neck
didn’t snap was probably because of my high morals and the
generous deeds I had performed in my life. It was a bit of a reward
(or a punishment?) from this dear lord above me. Still, the impact
was enough to make my view go black.

For a short moment, light flickered in front of my eyes. I had a

pleasant dream. A dream containing a rendezvous with a cute young
girl located near a beautiful somewhere in this world. But my body
was being shaken back and forth, forcing this dream to vanish into
nothingness. What greeted my ears first before anything else was—
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“…Onii-chan.”

It was the legendary name only granted to the chosen ones back in
the ancient times in the illusionary land of Zipangu2. When I slowly
opened my eyes to inspect the scenery in front of me, I saw the blue
fall sky, as well as radiating hair, and the fierce color of the
Mediterranian Sea. I was lying on my back, as a sweet scent came
drifting down from above. The moonsault-girl was on top of me,
clinging to my chest.

“…What did you just say?”

“Onii-chan!”

When I looked up at her face, the girl flashed me a grin. She put her
ear to my chest, only to laugh again after listening to my pulse.
Another grin. That was what you would call a 100% perfect smile.

A while ago, I had read a novel called ‘A Wild Sheep Chase8’ with a
girl who had ‘100% perfect hearing’ (A sheep and rat love story Azuki
Azusa would have liked. I’d recommend it to everyone!). The feelings
of the protagonist are coming back to me now.

Basically, the way she is smiling is 100% perfect. Her eyes looked like
wrinkled, narrowed gummy bears. I saw the lines on her
marshmallow cheeks. The shape of her lovable mouth resembled
sugar sweets melting away. Her laughing voice felt so comfortable
and natural that it nearly made my heart ache. Everything I could
have ever wanted from a laughing voice was right there in front of
me.

“O-One more time! One more time!”

“Onii-chan?”

“O-Ohhhh! One more time! One more time!”

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“Onii-chan! Onii-chan!”

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The tension between us vanished at once, like the snow melting
away during spring, and the girl rubbed her cheek against me as if
she had always wanted to do this. Ahh, this truly is a blessing from
God…!

“…Senpai.”

“Wha?”

I felt a presence to the right of me.

“Who is this girl?”

As if to freeze this comfortable fall weather, a 300-degree-below-

zero snow storm came blowing down at me. While the 100% girl still
rubbed her cheeks against me, I directed my gaze sideways to find
Tsutsukakushi staring down at me. Inside her blue eyes was the
Demon Lord. The Demon Lord of absolute zero. I even started having
auditory hallucinations of the sound of ice cracking. Or maybe it’s the
sound of a door starting to freeze, a door which would have normally
led to a fantastic future.

“W-What’s wrong?! Go back to your usual kind self, Tsutsukakushi!”

“……”

“Ah, not Tsutsukakushi. Tsuki—”

“You two seem to have known each other for a long time, seeing
how you’re this close, Yokodera-san.”

Before I could hope to cast Ali Baba’s spell, she stole the words from
me and even added a tone like she was talking to a distant stranger.
It was a calm voice, but for some reason it made my entire body
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shake in fear, and sweat started coming out of every pore of my
body, making me feel more drenched than girls from certain videos
out there.

“T-There seems to be a misunderstanding… I don’t actually know

her…”

“Is that so? So you’re close enough to mess each other up, and
you’re telling the unimportant, worthless me that I’m just a waste of
time. I see.”

“Don’t say that things like that! She’s listening!”

“I know that. I get it. You are in the middle of raising this child into a
glamorous Sister-san, right? Senpai truly is a pervert who lives for the
future.”

“You don’t get it at all! Also would you just stop it already…?!”

Grabbing the 100% girl’s shoulders, I forcefully pushed her away so

she’d stop rubbing her cheeks against me.

“Hehe, who is it?”

“What do you mean?! This isn’t some quiz!”

“…You don’t know at all?”

“No clue! You’re as unimportant, unrelated, and unknown as a shoe

that I wore back in kindergarten falling down from the bed! Police
Officer-san, there seems to be a misunderstanding here! I request an
attorney! A defense team! A giant defense group with years of
experience!”

“…Is that so…?” The girl let out a saddened sigh. Before I could say
anything else, though, she took out what looked to be a plush toy
strap you would put on your bag.

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“Unyanya… wish… so that…”

She tightly embraced it in her hands, and her eyes were glued to me.
It almost sounded like she was chanting something.

“…Huh?”
I felt like the world turned upside down. I felt no vertigo, no tremor
nor impact, just the sensation of my senses shaking. At the same
time, I heard a familiar, unsettling and ominous laugh. But this sense
of discomfort swiftly vanished into nothingness, because—

“Oh, I did it again! Sorry for being late!”

Like a magnet being pulled towards us, a man ran up, panting like he
was trying to control his breath during his jog. It was a familiar face,
and a childhood friend of mine.

“…Perfect timing, Ponta. Help me out here.”

At the park’s entrance, small totem-pole-like pillars were set up to

stop any cars from entering. The three of us sat on top of them to
talk things out, whereas the fourth person—

“Wahhh, let go of me!”

—was dangling in the air, her neck held by her older brother.

“Why don’t you leave it at that, Ponta?”

“That would be like making seafood paste out of cuttlefish. Emi, you
can’t bother other people like this. I keep telling you that, don’t I?”

“It’s been so long, so who cares?!”

“You octopus!”

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Ponta tried to force her to bow her head in apology, but she tried to
resist as much as possible, like some extraterrestrial twintails
monster. That’s right, I remember now. I finally remember. This little
chaos-maker is Emi. How could I forget?

This park is about halfway between the Yokodera’s house and

Ponta’s house. We often met up here and made our way to school
together. So of course it’s not weird at all for us to run into each
other here. There’s nothing strange about that in the slightest.

“I guess it’s Tsutsukakushi-san’s first time meeting her, huh? Even if

Yokodera forgives you, you still have to apologize to the Sun and
Tsutsukakushi-san, alright?”

“Gandhi, Gandhi! No violence!”

“This ain’t violence, this is discipline. Do you understand how

someone would feel if you jumped on them like that? Hm?”

“If I did, I wouldn’t do that sort of thing!”

“Why is this not getting into your tiny brain, you shrimp? It’s not
funny at all.”

While his younger sister was resisting fiercely midair, Ponta could
only scratch his cheek in bemusement. Tsutsukakushi shook her head
slightly in response without him realizing it. Even after trying to get
them together, it still is as awkward as ever. You have a friendly and
open-hearted boy with a tall stature and a small girl with no
expression on her face. Neither of them really seemed able to grasp
each other entirely. Making your friends become friends with each
other is unexpectedly difficult.

“With that out of the way, let me introduce you again. This here is
my little sister Emanuela Pollarola. I just keep it short and call her
Emi. Now greet them properly, Emi.”
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“I wonder about that~”

“Do it!”

“You hit me! Um, uhh, I’m Emi, his little sister, and it’s my dream to
make miso soup every morning for Youto-onii-chan!”

In response to Emi, who gave a short introduction with a smooth

rhythm—

“…I see. I understand. Nice to meet you. I am Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko.”

“Tsutsukakiku? Tsutsukinoko? Tsuts…Tsu tsu tsu…Alright, Tsuu-

chan!”

“It’s Tsutsukakushi. I am one year younger than your Onii-chan and

Yokodera-san, Emanuela Pollarola-san.”

With her usual indifferent tone, Tsutsukakushi responded to Emi by

calling her by her full name like an angry mother. She had a rival with
sparkling eyes in front of her, and she resembled a Yuki-onna3-chan
standing at the cliff of a glacier. Isn’t the expression she’s making a
bit too ominous?

“The reason her Japanese is a mess is because she lived a long time
over in Italy—But if anything, her personality is the worst part of her.
She might say rude things sometimes, so feel free to smack her if you
need to.”

“Yahoo! I’ll make them a mess!”

“I wasn’t saying that to you. I’ll seriously get angry at ya.”

“Sorry! I reflect! I love Onii-chan!”

“Do you think that’s all you have to say? You’d better take this
seriously.”

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In response to Emi and her dampened eyes, Ponta averted his face
and scratched the tip of his nose. The Pollarola Household’s sibling
quarrels always ends like this. After saying all of that, Ponta still
looked a bit satisfied by the whole thing.

…Huh? Something is off. Not just this entire exchange, but there’s
something else wrong. Ponta has a little sister with Italian blood, and
she had gotten familiar with me while saying something like ‘He’s
Onii-chan’s friend, so he’s also Onii-chan’, or something along those
lines. Ponta’s nickname had also changed from ‘Pollarolla > Ponchi >
Ponta’—Wait, did his nickname always have such a cool origin?

Ponta had a little sister. That is true. We’ve even played together
before. I know that’s true, as well. This little sister is Emi. It’s a
perfect syllogism. So there should be nothing weird about this.
Nothing at all… But is that really the case?

I glared down at the sandy, dark asphalt below me. Some unpleasant
memories are rattling around in my brain. It’s like a cold, hard bone
is stabbing my throat. But if you asked me why I felt this way, and
what I should do to fix it, I had no idea whatsoever.

“Now, here’s the thing, Yokonoji4.”

“Hm?”

I thought he was busy talking with his little sister, but Ponta suddenly
called out to me in a weird way. He usually did that in the past
whenever he had a big request to make of me.

“For a while now, Emi’s been really obstinate about checking out our
high school. If somebody doesn’t watch her closely, she’ll get thrown
out. But I’ve got no time whatsoever, see?”

“Yeah, you’re in the executive committee for the sports festival,

right? Are you busy?”
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“Indeed! I’m trying to stretch the budget as much as possible and
send what’s left over to the poor children in Africa! So these
activities are taking every single moment out of me. But if I leave her
alone, it’ll be hell for me as much as it is for those African children. If
I had two bodies, I could take care of both things. You feel me?”

So he wants me to become his second body, I see. He talks a lot, but

in the end he still wants to fulfill his little sister’s wish, huh? That is
very much like Ponta. That being said, I already have other plans.

“I’d love to help you out, but today I was already going to show
Tsutsukakushi—”

“Unya!”

With a shout, Emi escaped from Ponta’s grasp and looked up at me.

“It’s the request of a lifetime, Youto-onii-chan! I love you!” She

showed me a bright grin.

Yet again, I realized that this was truly a 100% perfect smile. At the
same time, I felt like it resembled someone else’s. I didn’t know who
this could be, and yet it shook my heart greatly, and I felt a throb
running through it. This only lasted for a brief moment, though.

“Uuu… is it no good? If so, then I’ll hold back…”

I felt like I was being driven by Emi’s saddened voice. The bone—the
sense of discomfort in my throat—started stabbing me even more
fiercely. She bit her lip and the gesture awakened a desire within me
to protect her, something like a small animal could induce. It’s a base
desire and natural concept of every living being on this planet to
want to comfort and spoil something this small and cute. My heart
started to warm up a bit. I’m sure that if I transmitted these feelings
throughout the world, it would bring world peace—

Page | 31
“—Hello, police officer? I would like to share some information about
a loli and a pedo team around in the neighbourhood.”

“Why are you calling the police?! And what kind of team even is
that?! Are we superheroes?”

“I see, so you think you’re being cool. Good for you, Pervert-san.”

I was doused with a cold, realistic voice, and any signs of world peace
vanished like mist.

“Wait wait, you’re wrong, okay?! It’s not like that!”

“I know. It’s that other ‘that’, right?”

“Whenever you pretend you know what I’m talking about, you don’t
get it at all!”

“It’s fine. I believe in you, Senpai. I’ll see you again once your lolicon
tendencies have been improved.”

“Rather than believing in me in the future, how about you trust me

now?!”

I mean, I understand that being entranced by a girl of this age would

make me an enemy of society. Those kinds of guys would always
blurt out inconsistent nonsense like ‘My feelings are pure!’, but that
logic doesn’t work. I can understand why Tsutsukakushi feels that
way.

“But my feelings are pure!”

“Please come here quickly, police officer. There is actually a loli-pedo

deluxe king here.”

“Huh?!”

Page | 32
Tsutsukakushi tapped on her imaginary phone, standing up from the
bike. Looking in the opposite direction from me, she raised her chin.

“…I’m joking. You should have told me that she’s your friend’s little
sister. Why don’t you grant her wish?”

“But the practice for the sports festival…”

“I’m suddenly really hungry. I think I’ll eat a lot today after all.”

“Tsutsukakushi…”

“I’ll be going ahead. Take your time.”

Who knew if that was all she wanted to say? Before I could say
anything, she started walking quickly down the road. From a
distance, it almost looked like her small body was staggering.

“…Is this really okay? If you had prior arrangements, you can just go
with her.” Ponta walked towards me as he shrugged his shoulders,
but all I could do was shrug in return.

Of course, this was in no way a good thing. I’ll definitely have to pay
this girl, who prioritizes others over herself, back later.

“Just showing her around a bit will do the trick, right?” I asked.

“I’m a cuckoo on the mountain of gratitude, my friend. I’ll definitely

repay this debt.” Ponta clapped his hands together and slightly
bowed. After hearing this, Emi jumped up and down in happiness.
But in the same moment, I felt like I heard an uncomfortable,
ridiculing voice from somewhere. “Heh, you idiot.”

“Hm?”

“Hmm? What’s wrong, Youto-onii-chan? Did you see someone so

beautiful you had to turn around and stare?”

Page | 33
“How about you stop blurting out ridiculous things like that, okay?!”

When I turned back to Emi, she just tilted her head in an innocent
way. For some reason, a lot of suspicious things keep happening this
morning. For a while now, it’s all been… Um, what? What was it
again? The sky above me looked so blue that I stopped caring. As
long as I had the 100% perfect smile of this girl, I didn’t need
anything else.

I feel like I’m repeating myself, but today is actually Saturday. Right
in front of the school gate, as well as the special bike parking lot near
to the West gate, were all full of bikes. That’s why I usually enter the
campus from the opening next to the security building. If I were just
going inside as your average high school student, that is.

“Hold on tight, okay… Here we go!”

“Ehehe! So high up! More, more! Jump! Let’s jump! Do a backflip!”

“The one who will be the victim of that will be you, okay?! Don’t just
blurt out random things you’ve heard before!”

Carrying Emi on my shoulders, I made my way through the locked

West gate. Considering my current complicated circumstances, I
can’t follow the current rules of society. After our talk at the
children’s park (and after teaching her other methods of greeting
people besides moon-saulting), Ponta said that he was going to
borrow equipment for the sports festival and went off to another
school.

Left behind were me, Yokodera-kun, who wishes to rid himself of the
nickname ‘pervert,’ and the grade school student who keeps blurting
out random words in situations where said words are uncalled for.
Once we got closer to our school, I warned her a bit just in case.
Page | 34
“Emi. Do you remember what to say if we run into a teacher?”

“Easy-peasy! Sure thing! No problem! I can say it! …What exactly?”

“That this person here is a friend of your Onii-chan, and that he’s not
anybody suspicious. That you just came here to take a look at the
school, okay?”

“Leave it to me! When I say it, I’ll start crying like I’m scared of
something!”

“And who would ask you to do something like that?”

“A police officer looking to earn some brownie points?”

“Who taught you about that sort of thing?!”

I’m worried. Terribly worried. I’m scared she might just cause my
arrest in the near future. I am already being treated like a blob of
disgusting selfishness by all the female students. If I may list the
crimes they accuse me of: Molester, pervert, kidnapper. If I show up
now with a girl from overseas on my shoulders, I’m basically asking
to be taken in by the police. And that was exactly why I chose to
come in at the West gate that doesn’t have any security.

After I got in safely, I heard voices of admiration to my right, from

the school building. From the sounds of it, these voices belonged to
sports clubs who were busy with their personal free training. I
avoided the main walkways ahead and instead slipped into the back
of the school building to my left.

“Wahh, we’re like ninja! Nin nin! You can’t see these shinobi clothes!
Stay back, stay back! I see! This is Onii-chan’s school, I take it?”

“…Do they actually show historical plays with ninjas in Italy?”

Page | 35
After we succeeded in sneaking inside, Emi got even more excited,
only to quickly calm down again as she sat top of my shoulders. She
grabbed my hair, pretending she was controlling me like a giant
robot. Her thighs rubbing against my head felt warm like the
sunlight.

From how natural Emi’s reactions were, I could guess that this was
how she always acts with Ponta. Maybe I should tease him about this
in the future.

“That reminds me, are there any places you would like to visit here,
Emi?”

“I wanna see the music room!”

“Music room? How interesting. Do you like music?”

“A bit, but I’m as bad as a pumpkin at playing instruments. If only

Onii-chan liked singing a bit more. But, what I want to see most of all
is…”

“Is what?”

“The pool! Is it still filled with water? I wanna see the big people
swimming in there!”

“Ohh, it seems like we’re a good match. I also want to see some big
girls swimming in there. According to my data sources, the swimming
club uses the pool from May to October, so it should still be open.
Not to mention that we’ll be having swimming races this week during
the sports festival, so you should be able to use it even if you’re not a
club member.”

“Cool! You sure know a lot, Youto-onii-chan!”

“Ha ha ha! Not that much, but quite a bit! Feel free to call me the
Swimsuit Expert!”
Page | 36
When making your way towards the outdoor pool, you’d have to
walk around the outer circumference of the courtyard or pass right
through one corner of it. People are gathered all over the place
because of the upcoming sports festival. A kind, popular young man
like me, possessing nothing but goodwill, is helping a girl in taking a
look at the pool, so maybe they might actually let me go?

But, right as our conversation got lively, as we walked along the

school building—

“Hey, Pervert. What are you doing? Who is that?”

“Huh?”

I felt something hit my back, and then again. I wondered what it was.
By the time I realized that small stones were being thrown at me,
another one hit me, so I called out to the person using me as a target
when I turned around. Honestly, though, I would have been better
off if I didn’t do that.

The landmark for the place for storing bikes, a large tree, was on one
side of us. On the other was the school building. We were in the
center of the courtyard behind the school building, and no light
found its way here thanks to the shade. The person using this space
as a jogging track was none other than this pseudo-ponytail-jersey of
the well-known track-and-field club.

“Urgh… What terrible timing…”

The person with the worst compatibility with me, and the person the
furthest from understanding me, was standing there. It was the
track-and-field club’s vice president, whose affection levels for me
are negative at best. We had run into her during her training. Talk
about bad luck.

“What do you mean by ‘Urgh’? How cruel. Rude. Just die already.”
Page | 37
“A-Ah, yeah… Sorry… Wait, aren’t being way more cruel than me?”

“Don’t talk, Pervert. I don’t want to hear your voice. And who is that
girl? Don’t talk, pervert.”

“Um… I can’t answer you if I’m not allowed to talk, though?”

“Shut up and keep quiet. Did you choose a defenseless girl now that
you’re done with the club president? The judgement for this child-
creating plan involving this young outsider girl is the police office
plus the embassy. That’s what I would expect from a pervert like you.
Your sexual assault and rape cross the boundaries of countries. Hurry
up and die. Die and come back after three days, only to die again.”

“I feel like you’re asking more and more complicated and impossible
things of me!”

“Don’t grumble about something so trivial and just die the day
before yesterday.”

Emi, who had stayed quiet this entire time, spoke up with wide eyes.

“Ohhh…? Sexual assault? What exactly is that?”

“This pervert takes his rock hard drill and forcefully updates your
body. I’ve heard that it hurts. Very much so.”

“Hey! Heyyy?! Stop that right now!”

“It hurts? Very much so? You’ve heard? So you don’t actually know?”

“I do know. I know most of it. I can imagine. This pervert is too pushy
when he does it. He forces your legs open and starts using his
dynamite drill.”

“Waaaaah! She’s a grade school student! Can you please not use
vocabulary like that?!” I fiercely protested against any continuation
of this machine-gun-like onslaught of dirty words.
Page | 38
Put simply, I ran away as fast as I could. Any more than this would be
bad for her education! At the same time, the parent-teacher
association might come for me and ruin my own education! Also,
why is the vice president describing my techniques to such an
extent?

“Ah—”

I felt like the vice club president wanted to say something, but I just
took that as a ‘Tch’ instead of anything else. It was probably just your
average click of the tongue.

When you’ve just survived a battle, the first place that comes to
mind for you to run to is the place you’re the most used to. I found
myself running there, still carrying Emi.

Past the location for parked bikes was the clubroom building. Then
again, it’s just a prefabricated building that has sports clubrooms and
the like on the first floor and culture-related clubrooms on the
second floor. The rooms aren’t necessarily big, but just having a
room in itself was a sort of status symbol, and the clubs waged a
constant war for the clubrooms. Though it’s always an easy victory
for the track-and-field club thanks to our renowned Steel King.

And now I decided to use the track-and-field club room as a safe

haven. Nobody else was there. Only two bags were lying in front of
the lockers, one of which belonged to the club president. Naturally,
the other one belonged to the vice club president, who had been
wearing a track-and-field jersey. This feels like I’ve entered the lion’s
den, to be honest. Have I always been this much of an idiot? I should
have probably run away immediately so that I don’t bump into the
vice president again.

Page | 39
That being said, all this running around tired me out, making my legs
feel as heavy as lead. Emi shook her body like she was dejected
about something while sitting on the concrete floor.

“This is my club’s room. Going to the pool now would probably result
in a lot of resistance from a lot of fronts, so let’s do that another
time, okay?”

When I sat down next to her, Emi kept her gaze facing downward
still.

“…Youto-onii-chan, they call you a pervert at school? Are you a

pervert? Have you been one this entire time?”

“Ah, well…”

“Or is that person special? Is she bullying you all day every day like
this with a barrage of words?”

Judging from her words, I had two choices. Should I tell her about my
weaknesses and bad traits, just when I had finally gotten closer to my
friend’s little sister? Or should I just ignore the badmouthing from
the girl who’s part of the same club and from the same school as
me? Since I had lost all shame, I couldn’t tell which choice would
ultimately be more embarrassing for me.

“W-Well, that girl has some good parts to her… It’s just that we don’t
get along too well, and it’s like she harbors some one-sided hatred.
Of course, I can’t say there’s no reason for it… And it’ll eventually
clear up with time! I have confidence that we’ll be able to make up in
heaven in a few hundred years!”

A response mixed with facade and honest feelings came out, blaming
nobody in the end. Both of these are important. That’s just what it
means to be human. But from the looks of it, Emi didn’t appreciate

Page | 40
this response. She shook her head several times. Every time, her two
tufts of hair shook.

“Onii-chan, aren’t you popular with everyone and everything?”

“O-Of course I’m popular in a certain sense. Everybody in my year

knows about me!”

“In a bad way? Or in a cruel way?”

“I choose to remain silent.”

“High school… seems more boring than I thought.” The selfish young
girl complained with a mutter. “This is totally different from the
dream a long time ago…”

A long time ago? How far back are we talking about? Also, how old is
Emi? I couldn’t guess her age at all. As someone who could guess age
just by looking at pictures, and as someone who’s made a name for
myself doing that, this was a rare thing. I had heard the age
difference between Ponta and his little sister before. He said ‘When I
entered kindergarten my mother brought her’. So if we just subtract
that, we get… Huh? Eh? How old? Was subtracting always this
difficult?

Yet again, I felt like something was stuck in my throat. It was detailed
enough to irritate me, yet big enough for me to notice it. Something
was definitely off. I was so busy trying to figure out the identity of
this sense of discomfort that I didn’t realize that the girl next to me
had stood up.

“This is not funny at all!” Emi screamed as she raised both her hands.

She was like Atlas5 standing in a corner of the world, shouting in utter
desperation about the fact that nobody knew that she supported the
heavens.

Page | 41
“Boring! Boring! I hate boring things!”

“Emi…?”

“I think it should be fine to make things a bit more interesting.” Emi

grinned.

She held a plush toy of some kind tightly in her hand. It looked oddly
familiar. It was an unpleasant, ominous animal. A cat’s tail was barely
visible through the slim openings between her fingers.

“I wish that Youto-onii-chan would become more cool. Also, I want

things to feel like we’re at the pool around here. Then everybody
could enjoy school even more!”

WIth her 100% perfect smile, she cast a curse with no ill-intent
whatsoever. She spoke it out loud with the voice of an angel, but
ironically enough invoked the Evil Stony God. With unfathomable
rashness, she stacked wish upon wish.

“Emi! What are you doing?!”

“I’m not doing anything. I don’t know anything! Nothing at all!”

“Like you don’t know anything! Hey, look at me!”

“Nihihi! Brassiere!”

“Not brassiere! …Huh? Brassiere?”

Emi opened a locker, and what she pulled out of it was definitely a
brassiere. The length of the bra was unexpectedly long, which is a
wise saying from the great Kantoku6. My eyes opened wide at the
sight of it. It was time to appreciate this sight with all my body and
soul!

The cups were unexpectedly large, and it had quite a flashy design.
Bravo brassiere, indeed! I want to cuddle in bed with the girl this bra
Page | 42
belongs to! I want to do stuff that would get regulated by zoning! I
wondered who this bra belonged to. I looked over and saw the vice
president’s bag in front of the locker, and her name on the locker
itself.

“Waaaaaawawawa! S-Stop, please!”

“Onii-chan, pass!”

“Catch! Wait, noooo?!”

“Nice brassiere! Return!”

“Don’t throw it back at meeeeeeee! Put it baaaaaaack!”

The brassiere game of catch was getting more and more heated. It
almost felt like a game of hot potato as the bra flew through the air
between the two of us, the straps fluttering in the wind. Every time I
held it in my hands, I felt a comfortable soft sensation. The scent of
the bra filled the air. Is this Shangri-la? Is this paradise? Maeterlinck’s
Blue Bird7 is right here. Every time the bra soared through the sky,
Emi and I started laughing. Ahahaha! Nihihi! This is the best, right?
This is the best!

Emi brandished it with all her might and threw it into the air as if she
were aiming for the universe. I jumped after it, but stalled in my
flight as I headed towards Andromeda, ending up in a free fall when I
was reminded of the laws of physics.

“Eh…”

The bra landed gently on the person standing in the doorway, like a
bird’s feather fluttering down. How long had she been watching this
brassiere game? The bra hung down from the vice president’s head,
and she stared at us with a nihilistic expression.

“……”
Page | 43
“……”

Page | 44
Page | 45
Endless silence ensued. I really thought time had stopped. In the end,
I used this silence to get down on my knees, prostrating myself
preemptively. It was a full-blown Japanese-style prostration like
you’d see in training videos. I was praying for forgiveness. I felt like a
radish as my forehead scraped the ground, but then I felt a soft
sensation above my head. It was a hat. A baseball hat with a wide
visor landed on my head, suddenly, abruptly, coincidentally. When I
put a hand on it, I could tell that it had a smart design. I felt like some
subspecies of a prince. When did this happen?

I don’t care, and it’s not important. This hat isn’t some symbol of
anything. What’s more serious about this is the evidence of a
rewritten world in front of me. Something was wished for.
Something was sought after. Something was cursed? I felt someone
tap me on the shoulder.

“Hey, Prince. It’s cool of you to keep the heart of a young man like
that.”

“……Eh?”

“The Prince likes basketball, right? I get it. There’s times when I feel
like playing catch. I get that as well. You just happened to use the
underwear that was in front of you. I totally get that as well.”

It was the same way the vice president always spoke. It was the
same usual atmosphere the vice president always had. It should have
been the same vice president as always. Yet—

“I’ll allow it this time, Prince.”

—Had she always called me that? When I looked past the visor, I saw
the vice president, awkwardly twitching her cheeks as she tried to…
smile, I think? Even though we’ve been fellow members of the same
club for a year and a half, this is the first time I’ve seen her like this.
She lifted up the hem of her shirt and ran her hand along the inside.
Page | 46
“W-Wait, what are you…?”

“Give me your hand.”

She held in her hand a lump of golden yellow. Upon a closer

inspection, I could tell that it was a sports bra.

“Use this next time. It’s easier to throw.”

“Eh?”

“Give it back once you’re done. And keep it a secret from everyone
else.”

“Eh?”

She raised an index finger in front of her mouth in a gesture of

secrecy. She didn’t seem like the eternal enemy of Yokodera-kun, but
instead just an average girl… Wait, an average girl wouldn’t do
something like this, right? Eh? What is this? While I was baffled, my
gaze glued to the sports bra, she said an indifferent “I’m changing
into my swimsuit now” and pushed us out of the room. I could feel
the dazzling sunlight shining down on us. Even with the cap, I felt
sweat building up around my temples.

Something is definitely off here. There are so many things that seem
incorrect that my head couldn’t keep up. And if that weren’t
enough…

“Nyahaha, the heck was that?”

Emi, standing next to me, stretched her back as she looked up at the
sky, letting out an optimistic sigh. This was supposed to be the path
that goes along the outer circumference of the back of the school
building. Standing in front of us should be a second building with
normal classrooms. But this second building… Was it always this
luxurious-looking, like a church with white walls?
Page | 47
“Youto-onii-chan. School is more fun now, right?”

Emi looked at me and let out a completely carefree laugh. Her small
hands pointed up at the fall sky towards the top of the building. On
top of the round dome’s roof was a stylish cross and the tri-colored
flag of Italy.

1 Written as Private Face Sealing Skill

2 The name for Japan back in Europe during the middle ages

3 Snow woman in Japanese folklore

4 ‘Yoko no Ji’ in the original, which means ‘Character for

horizontal/beside’.

5 Most likely a reference to Atlas from Greek mythology, who had to

hold up the celestial heavens for eternity.

6 Yes, he is indeed referring to the illustrator of this novel. Here is

the pixiv post where Kantoku said this as a title, released in 2010.
Beware though, NSFW.

7 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Bird_(play)

8 This a reference to A Wild Sheep Chase, where one of the

characters is ralled ‘Rat’

Page | 48
Chapter 2: Sickness Unto Death
Let me confess. I’ve feigned being sick several times in order to skip
classes. For example, during my first summer when the wind rustled,
I lent my shoulder to a young woman who was dozing off inside the
train. There was another time when the late winter wind blew
strong, and I was crawling along beneath the stairs of the pedestrian
bridge, looking up at women going up the stairs. I was forced to skip
classes because of these harsh times.

I don’t feel any shame for having picked these choices. I don’t
understand the concept of shame anymore, anyway. But today I
can’t help but find my past actions strange. Why would I ever skip
school? There’s no greater paradise than school itself.

“—Swimsuits are the best! Girls adjusting their swimsuits is the most
beautiful sight ever!”

From the balcony of the second floor inside the second building, I
leaned against the railing and shouted into the air. And what a
satisfying shout it was. Countless girls down in the courtyard looked
up at me, snickering or even waving back.

“Prince-kun! You’re as energetic as always!”

“Hey Prince!”

“You look like you’re having fun!”

“I suppose so! Watching you girls gives me a lot of energy in a lot of

places!”

“Aww, are you saying that again, Prince-kun?”

“Lewd Prince!”

“If you don’t fix that, we won’t play with you anymore!”
Page | 49
“You were all so charming that I couldn’t help myself! Sorry…!”

“I guess it can’t be helped, then~”

“The Prince is super cute!”

“I’ll text you soon!”

The girls were laughing at each other as they looked at me. Beautiful
girls were all over the place. And all of them were wearing school
swimsuits. I forgot to mention it earlier, but our school uniform is
actually a swimsuit. Once you arrive at school, you have to change
into a swimsuit. After I snuck through the back gate, I had to stay in
my normal uniform. If they weren’t referring to Yokodera-kun as
‘Ouji’, I would have probably been labeled as a weirdo. It’s a pretty
reasonable name if you read my family name differently1, but
apparently the girls took a liking to it. Thanks to that, my school life is
pure happiness. No matter what I shout from school balconies, they
didn’t call me a pervert like back then.

…Hm? Weird. When exactly is ‘back then’? There’s no way they

would call me a pervert. If I had ever been given such a nickname, I
doubt I could have handled it. I am a Prince. Yokodera Ouji. Beloved
by both girls and the public at large.

“…Youto-onii-chan, is school fun?”

Emi laid sprawled out by my legs, and she pointed at the stained
glass on the door of the balcony. It was a motif of the annunciation
of the Holy Mother Maria; a very religious art piece. I just can’t help
but feel that school today is different from usual, though. There’s the
girls wearing swimsuits everywhere, for one, as well as crosses on
basically everything nearby. On top of that, the school buildings are
all made out of red bricks, which really makes it feel like we’re in
Italy. There’s only one thing that all this could mean.

Page | 50
“It’s super fun! I can’t wait for the sports festival!”

“That’s right, Youto-onii-chan! I’m glad. I’m really looking forward to

that sports festival!” Emi smiled, satisfied at my response.

She rolled around on the balcony, flailing her arms and legs
everywhere. She’s really cute. Outstandingly cute. More than
anybody else. It’s on an entirely different level than the cuteness I
feel from girl videos. It feels like my heart is jumping for joy.

Naturally, I’m not a lolicon or anything. This is a completely different

thing. Lolicons wish for cute girls to never grow up, whereas I hope
that they grow up while staying cute like this. I guess you could call
this emotion ‘investment for the future.’

“Thanks for showing me around! I’m super duper satisfied!”

Emi eventually stopped rolling around like a cat in the sun and stood
up.

“Ah, are you done already? There’s a lot of other places I can still
show you.”

“Uuu… Actually, there’s a few more things. I wanted to know about

your club activities so much that I was awake all night, unable to
sleep, as I played with myself.”

“Okay, let’s not use words you’ve heard before without knowing
what they mean! Things will end up troublesome eventually, mostly
for me! If you want to know something, then just ask.”

“You have some business of your own right, Onii-chan? Emi is fine
now, so there’s no need to mind her…”

“…Good girl, good girl.”

Page | 51
She looked up at me with an expectant, slightly interested gaze, and I
couldn’t help but pat her on the head. That was dangerous. If I was a
low-ball hitter, my bat would have come out by now.

“Well, it’s true that I have somewhere else to be… But, as a gift from
me to you, why don’t I guide you to the music room?”

“I wanna see the music room with Onii-chan! More importantly, the
pool! I wanna know how to become a Swimsuit Expert to prepare for
the festival of sports!”

“I think you’re better off not doing that! That’s something I arrived at
after peeking through the concrete wall next to the pool around 400
times during a single year, so it’s not that easy.”

“Nooo! I wanna know! I wanna be one!”

Emi jumped up and down several times like she was trying to stomp
both feet. After that, she clung to my arm, turned around, and
started tugging me.

“If you’re that adamant about it, then we can go to the sports
grounds. Around this time of day, there should be an Onee-san with
a long ponytail called ‘Steel-san’ who likes to show people around
her club. Just tell her ‘I want the same course as Yokodera!’.”

“What will happen then?”

“Steel-san will be really happy. And then you can become a Swimsuit
Expert as well! Maybe.”

“Yay! I’ll try my best!”

“What’s important is the intervals during which you take point. You
should run at full speed at first. Once I finish my business, I’ll join up
with you.”

Page | 52
…Still, why was I this attracted to the pool anyway? There’s girls
walking around in swimsuits everywhere. I can look at them
wherever I want. Absent-mindedly twirling my baseball cap around
on a finger, I heard the heavy sound of a bell. It was the large bell to
signal the arrival of noon. After the large one, smaller bells in the
nearby towers started ringing as well.

Ding, dong, ding, dong…

It was an impressive sound. Closing my eyes, I felt something like the
sea breeze from the Adriatic Sea back during the middle ages. Yes,
focusing on my ears next—

Tch. What a useless pumpkin moron. I even made a wish for you, so
prioritize me.
A clicking of a tongue lingered behind in my eardrums. Hm? When I
looked around, all I could see was Emi, grinning up at me with
narrowed eyes. Come on, wind, don’t play tricks on me. There’s no
way she could speak with such a rough tone of voice. After all, she’s
my 100%-perfect-smile girl.

The cafeteria, located inside the 8th building, provides a terrace with
table seats, which always causes a harsh battle between students for
this special place, especially on sunny days like these. Even though
Saturday is technically a school-free day, finding open seats was still
quite a struggle.

—Unless you make a small exception, that is.

I carried a tray with tomato, cheese, ham pizza, and a bottle of cola
as I made my way towards a seat in the corner of the courtyard.

“Can I sit here?”

Page | 53
“……Go ahead.” A blunt response.

The person who got here before me started to eat away at a plate
that had two people’s worth of food on it, munching away at it.
Today’s victim was a bacon and spinach carbonara. They wrapped it
around a fork and a spoon, and it disappeared at the speed of light. I
totally understood why this seat was open on the otherwise-packed
terrace. With how much this small girl was eating, I’d be afraid to
find out if she’d stop with just those two plates, or if she’d continue
by eating me next.

This is the first rule of what you should do when you want to get in
contact with Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko: Wait for lunch time. She always
appears when the scent of food lingers in the air.

“You didn’t bring a boxed lunch with you today, huh? I looked for
you in the courtyard and on the rooftop, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I finished the lunch I brought with me a minute ago.”

“Hm? Then what is that?”

“Lunch.”

“…And what about your boxed lunch?”

“That was for my sports festival practice. I finished that before actual
lunchtime.”

“I see. You must have it rough.”

According to the Tsukiko-chan countryside dialect, snacking and

lunch are strictly separated. For example, no matter how much she
consumed merely a minute earlier, once the clock goes past 12, she
can eat it all over again. There will be a test on this, so for those of
you who want to talk with girls from the countryside, make sure to
remember this.
Page | 54
“…Do you want to eat this as well?”

I split the pizza in half and pushed a small plate towards her. In
response, Tsutsukakushi finally raised her head.

“Did you already finish showing Emanuella-san around?”

“I left her with Steel-san. Tsutsu… Tsukiko, I wanted to eat lunch with
you.”

“…Is that so? Would you like a taste of this pasta?”

“Thanks!”

This is the second rule if you want to get in contact with

Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko. Once she has food, get to the main topic
quickly. For her, giving away some of her own food is a great gesture
of affection. The aforementioned exchange is only attainable once
you reach the third rank of being a Tsukiko-chan connoisseur.

I gratefully accepted the plate with the carbonara and spoke up at

the same time.

“Also, thanks for before.”

“Thanks for what?”

“When you went ahead to school. You were being considerate,

right?”

“No, I did that for my own sake,” Tsutsukakushi shook her head,
moving her small mouth as she started munching away at the pizza.

I’ve gotten good at guessing what this small kitten was feeling, even
without the use of her expressions. But right now I’m having trouble
doing so. Though I don’t think she’s actually angry at me. She doesn’t
seem to be sulking, either. The trick to reading the reserved feelings
hidden behind her blue eyes—is to ask her straightforwardly.
Page | 55
“Your ‘own sake’… That you didn’t want to stay around Emi any
longer? Just kidding.”

“…”

“Do you not like Emi by any chance?”

“………” Tsutsukakushi’s shoulders twitched.

“Hmmm… I know that she can be a bit selfish, but I think she’s a
pretty good girl overall.”

Once I bit into a piece of pizza, an abundant taste of cheese filled my

mouth. Yup, this is really delicious. It’s like we’re eating famous food
at an expensive and stylish cafe. The girls from the wind ensemble
were practicing the sports festival’s entrance song. The music danced
with perfect tempo in this direct sunlight. Surrounding the great
water fountain were the personifications of the world’s great four
rivers rising into the air. There were pigeons walking around
everywhere, making noises like they were voicing their opinions.

“…Was our school food always this delicious?” Tsutsukakushi looked

at the piece of pizza in her hand.

“Hm? Where did that come from?”

“No, I just thought… Right, we were talking about Emanuela-san.”

She raised her index finger. “Let me give you an example. Imagine
that you are playing tennis, Senpai.”

“Ohoho, what’s my playstyle? Doubles? Man-woman mixed doubles?

Am I positioned at the line, able to watch the tennis skirt of the girl in
front of me flapping up and down?!”

“I see you’re detail-oriented. Let’s say it’s mixed doubles.”

“…Eh, r-really?”

Page | 56
“One day, your partner says ‘I can’t say as a pair with you. I like a
distant, yet close relationship more. Even if we play the same sport,
rather than clinging to each other the entire time, meeting each
other once in a while is more exciting’.”

“O-Okay…?”

“So you decide to disband the team. You stop being satisfied with
this compromise, and instead work your hardest so that you can one
day stand on the same court with your partner. How would you feel
if that partner suddenly ran off to someone else, playing doubles
with them instead? This person keeps calling your partner ‘Onii-
chan.’ They smile at them, cling to them… How would you feel?”

“…Um, who are we talking about?”

“This is just an example. So how would you feel?”

“…That I got deceived, probably… I would wonder if my partner

actually preferred the other person the entire time.”

“Yes. This is exactly how I feel about Emanuela-san.” Tsutsukakushi

summed it up as indifferently as always.

For some reason, I saw the flames of hell burning behind her back.
Even though it’s fall, it’s still pretty hot. I could feel sweat running
down my back.

“Um… well, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? This is in no way, shape, or form related

to you in any way, seeing that you don’t play tennis, Senpai.”

“R-Right!” I took a long sip from my coke. “B-But, in that case, the
one at fault is the bastard who formed a new pair, and not the new
partner, right? Can you really blame her?”

Page | 57
“No, I wasn’t talking about guilt or blame or the like. The one
removed from the pair is the one at fault. All they can do is hone
their talent and practice as if their life depends on it.” Tsutsukakushi
pounded her fists together on the table.

Ohhh, she’s motivated, I see. I guess I’ll play tennis with her
whenever we get the chance.

“But—”

The music filling the courtyard came to a stop. In this sudden silence
around us, she just stared at the empty plate in front of her, thinking
of what to say. In the end, she still didn’t look at me.

“—she gives off the scent of an unfair, wicked woman who breaks
the rules whenever she wants. I get a really bad feeling from her.”

Tsutsukakushi’s voice was quiet but determined.

“The scent of a wicked woman?”

This is the first time I’ve heard Tsutsukakushi speak ill of someone
else. Not to mention that her argument was based on smell. I can’t
help but worry if she’s actually a real human. I started laughing, but
Tsutsukakushi didn’t seem to like that much, and she started hitting
the table. She kept sulking until I offered her the other half of my
pizza.

“You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to. It is not my place
to decide who you spend your time with. If anything, you can use all
of your money for a woman at a hostess bar and live in a cardboard
box underneath a bridge for the rest of your life for all I care.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I won’t laugh again. I don’t really get it, but you
seem serious. However, there’s no need to worry! She’s not in my
strike zone either.”

Page | 58
“That is right. Falling in love with a small girl like that would definitely
be no good.”

“Yup, yup. There’s no way would I ever be attracted to a tiny girl like
that.”

“…Um, I am actually talking about her age.”

“Yeah, but that’s mostly the same thing! It has to be a girl who’s
large in all sorts of places! I’m glad we agree on that!”

I’ve stressed this countless times thus far, but I like girls who are the
Onee-san type. Her breasts should shake across the room if I slap her
like a sumo wrestler would. Dosukoi, dosukoi! That reminds me,
Tsutsukakushi likes sumo wrestlers as well. When I remembered this,
I started grinning.

“Ouch!”

“……”

“Um, Tsutsukakushi-san? This part you keep persistently grinding at

with your toes is actually a vital part of my body.”

“I know that.”

“I see. So you knew.”

When I tried reenacting the gesture Tsutsukakushi had shown me a

while ago, all hell broke loose beneath the table. Using a technique
that not even a sumo referee would be able to see, huh? Just what
you’d expect from a future champion.

“I was wrong for even worrying about you in the slightest. As

expected of the Per—” Tsutsukakushi blinked in confusion. “As
expected of the Prince-san… Prince… san. Yes, Senpai is a prince…”

Page | 59
After saying her usual catchphrase, Tsutsukakushi tilted her head,
almost as if she was confused.

Almost like a kitten with her favorite sleeping space right in front of
her, but who happened to find an unfamiliar blanket. Eventually,
though, she gave in and accepted the new blanket.

“Um, Senpai. Watching you smile has made me realize something.

Whenever you laugh with all your might, you can’t put any strength
into your body.”

“Meaning?”

“If you take this as a general rule, no matter how charming of a smile
a person can make, if you can form a fist with your hand while you
do so, you’re only laughing with a facade.”

“Back to the honest feelings and facade, huh? Interesting. But as a

general rule, whenever I see a cute girl smile, I can only look at her
face, you know.”

“…Is that so?” Tsutsukakushi muttered, slapping her cheeks with the
palm of her hands.

At the same time, the bell in the clock tower rang two times. I had
just started to feel full, so this was perfect timing.

“Say, Tsutsukakushi, you must be full now, right? I think it’s about
time to go pick up Emi from Steel-san, so why don’t you come with
me? You don’t know her too well yet, right?”

“That is correct. Modern wars always start with intelligence

gathering.”

“…Um, are we still talking about tennis?”

Page | 60
Tsutsukakushi ignored my question and just stood up while avoiding
eye contact. She slowly opened up the buttons of her shirt as if she
was preparing for war, although I think it was just because of the
heat. Carrying it under her arm, she said ‘Let’s go’. For no particular
reason, I wanted to hit my head on the table. Because she, just like
every other student besides me, was wearing a school swimsuit.

30 times. That is the number of times I hit my head on the wall of the
school building as I walked along the outer circumference.

“Senpai, you’re lacking some vital attentiveness. You have to look in

front of you when you walk.”

“Well, ahahaha, the world just seemed so dazzling…”

Especially Tsutsukakushi showing that much naked skin. It’s too

dazzling, making me too happy to care about anything else. A girl
walking around outside while wearing a swimsuit. How do I put it? I
can’t put into words how much I appreciate it. For example, it can be
compared to a female childhood friend getting married to a nudist
and sending me a video letter. Do you understand? Well, I myself
don’t really get it, so I doubt you do.

“…Senpai is a bit weird today.”

Tsutsukakushi fixed the swimsuit around her buttocks with her

fingers, and she looked up at me. “Why are you looking at me like a
per… prince? Is there something on my face?”

“No, nothing at all. It’s all perfectly fine! Perfectly normal.”

Everything’s normal, and yet I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She
might look like a perfectly-level plain, but she actually has a small yet
well-defined hiking course.

Page | 61
“…What a weird Prince.” She whispered as she fidgeted
uncomfortably.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about! This is our normal school

uniform, after all! Or so goes the famous scientific theory. It really
can’t be helped if it’s our school uniform.

When we turned the corner at the fifth building and arrived at the
sports grounds, another paradise opened up before my eyes.

“Oh lord…”

To keep it short, Steel-san was doing stretches in a swimsuit.

Page | 62
Page | 63
On our school’s sports grounds were ruins of an ancient sacred
palace and dome, as well as triumphal arches. If you ask me why,
then I can only say ‘because.’ Steel-san was lying sprawled inside the
ruins of a theatre, stretching her legs. How do I put it… it looked
amazing. If her little sister had a small hiking trail, her older sister
was equipped with giant mountains. The steep mountain district was
constantly moving like a volcano. If she moved just a small bit, the
two navy blue Mt. Everests wouldn’t allow anyone to challenge
them.

“These are crazier than I thought they would be…”

“…Prince-san. Hey, Prince-san.”

The beginner hiking course girl was pinching me ever so slightly… No,
actually quite a bit… Nay, very intensely on my sides, but just like
George Mallory said: ‘Because (the mountain) is there, I climb it.’
And the same holds true for me. I look at the mountain because it is
there. There is nothing I should feel ashamed about by doing this.

“Oooh, Yokodera. I just finished my practice. The young aspiring club

member you sent us is over there, though I don’t know if she can
follow in your footsteps.”

When Steel-san noticed that I was there, she stopped stretching. Her
transparent, sky-blue eyes were smiling at me. Her ponytail shook
majestically like a lion’s mane as she ran to the ball net separating
the sports grounds and the main street. She really was the proud
ruler of the track-and-field club.

…A lot of things are going on with her, and a lot of things happened
to her, but at school she’s the ideal club president, and her
confident, commanding attitude shows it. And she’s a beauty on top

Page | 64
of it all. She’s soft as well. Though, I would like to exercise my right to
remain silent when it comes to any more personal comments.

“She asked for the same menu as Yokodera. She’s quite the
ambitious little girl. She was willing to shove her head into the
bottomless pit, so I didn’t hold back, either.”

She must have been in a cooldown period, and I could see pearls of
sweat all over her body. She probably worked out by taking her usual
long-distance run and dash.

“Thank you very much. It was Emi’s own desire to… Hm? Where is
Emi now?”

“Youto… onii-chan…”

I heard a faint voice, and after looking around for a moment, on the
brown, dirty ground at my feet, I saw twintails that looked like
ragged dishrags.

“Woah?! Are you okay?!”

She was lying there with no signs of being alive anymore. Her hair
was a ruffled mess, her clothes were dirty, and her stomach was
convulsing like she had been assaulted. All light had vanished from
her eyes, and groans were all that left her mouth. She tightly held
onto my arms as I held her up a bit, as if she had just returned from a
brief visit to hell.

“W-Wake up! What about swimsuits? Did you get closer to the secret
of swimsuits?”

“No, I only reached a small fraction of the secret teachings…” Emi

laughed.

As usual, she made a 100% smile. According to Tsutsukakushi, in

order to find out her honest feelings, I just had to look at her hands,
Page | 65
but of course, Emi’s hands—were stiff. She then quickly got up on my
shoulders… Wait, what?

“I’m sharing this knowledge now!”

From my left and right, hammer punches came running down on my

head.

—I can’t believe you actually deceived me like that! Tell me

beforehand if that pumpkin head is going to push me through hell
and back!
Another half-crying auditory hallucination arrived at my ears. Since
this voice was using words the 100% perfect smile girl would never
say in a million years, I could only beg that this hallucination would
stop bothering me.

“I’m glad you were enjoying yourself. Let’s practice together another
time.”

“Yay! I’m looking forward to it!”

—Who would do that! You… You… ultra garbage pumpkin!

Lifting her up while still being hit, both her and Ilaughed together.
Don’t we look like siblings now? The moment I said that, the hammer
punches turned into corkscrew punches instead. Maybe she’s happy.

“Tsukiko. When I see this, I can’t help but remember the past. Why
don’t we do that as well, for old time’s sake?”

“I would rather not.”

“There, there, Tsuiko. How admirable! See how high up you are!”

“If you don’t put me down right away, dinner tonight will be cold
canned beans. I won’t say it again. Put me down right now.”

Page | 66
A bit further away, the Tsutsukakushi sisters were also fooling
around. What a happy little circle this is.

I forgot to say something. At times like these, the true problem

always reveals itself. Emi continued to struggle on my shoulder, but
her gaze suddenly turned sharp, glued to something.

“…What is that?”

Emi wasn’t looking at the Tsutsukakushi sisters. Nor was she looking
at the club members around on the sports grounds. Instead, she was
focused over on one corner of the tree promenade located by the
main street. The person herself probably thought she was hidden in
the shadows of the platanus tree, but in reality, her butt and hair
were sticking out in plain view.

“Ahh, that’s a friend. Her name’s Azuki Azusa…”

It was the girl who continued to give me a headache.

I guess it’s time to actually explain the problem going on with Azuki
Azusa. That being said, it’s actually not as big of a deal as it may
seem. Putting it in simple terms, I can’t seem to get in contact with
her at all as of late. I know the reason for it, too. It’s because of what
happened at the government office. Ever since she saw the result of
Steel-san and I reaching a tragic mutual misunderstanding, the scene
suddenly changed into a comedy, and Azuki Azusa had not gotten
into contact with me once.

She used to call me three times a day, but that number has gone
down to zero. I would get up to ten emails a day, and that number
has also fallen to zero as well. Whenever I try to contact her, she
doesn’t respond at all. It’s the same at school. No matter where I go,
no matter where I wait, she runs away at lighting speed. She’s
Page | 67
denying any communication with me, to such an extent that she
could beat a track-and-field member. At first, I thought I had made
her angry.

‘I didn’t think you were the type of person to do this in front of

others!’ I heard the manifestation of everyone saying to me. Now
this is indeed a problem. But this is where things get even more
complicated. Azuki Azusa wouldn’t simply run away whenever I came
near. Whenever Steel-san and I were together for whatever reason,
she would appear out of somewhere. She would hide in the
shadows, watching us from a distance like a cowardly but well-
behaved stray dog.

This wasn’t simply a metaphor, either. It really felt like she was
barking at me from a distance. So much so that I hallucinated her
having a wagging tail, desperately shaking it left and right. Really,
what does Azuki Azusa want? ‘What are you doing? I like you, so
please pay attention to me you thick bastard, but actually hit your
head on tofu and die.’ It felt like an odd mixture of emotions. But the
same as usual, in a certain sense.

Things are different now, though. What if, however small the odds,
she has feelings for Yokodera-kun or Steel-san? She would have been
hurt after seeing that decisive scene. If you set aside who was more
her type, and myself being worried about who was more her type…
Well, let’s just leave this as a hypothetical story. I don’t want to hurt
one of the few friends that I have. That’s why I wanted to explain the
truth to Azuki Azusa. I wanted to spell out all the circumstances and
gave her only the truth. That this wasn’t my real intention. That it
was all just Steel-san’s misunderstanding. That I still want to be as
close of friends as we were before.

I figured that my feelings wouldn’t go through in an actual email, so I

wrote her a letter. I wrote with handwriting as neat and clean as I

Page | 68
could, and I rewrote it countless times until it turned dark outside. I
put a shiba inu stamp on it and put it in her shoe locker.

I’m pretty sure that Azuki Azusa must have read it. She isn’t the type
of person to throw a letter away without giving it a read first. But
there was no change in her behavior afterwards.

Whenever I would approach her, she would immediately run away.

When I decide to give up on her, she approaches me. Even though
she should know the truth, she keeps a neutral position, watching
from afar. What reason does she have to keep doing that? Think
about this like a gal game. Just when you have the girl in your sights,
she doesn’t make any contact with the protagonist at all? That kind
of scenario writing would get thrown into the trash bin, and she
would lose her place to a new, mysterious girl. Naturally, we’re just
talking about typical video games here.

However, these current circumstances are reality, so a change in

scenario won’t happen. I have to talk things out with Azuki Azusa. I
actually want to talk to her as well. But I can’t. It tears me apart.

And this is the Azuki Azusa Problem.

Let’s get back on topic.

While I watched Azuki Azusa, who was desperately trying to hide her
head and butt but actually not hiding anything at all, I was at a loss
about what to do. She was being her usual distanced self today, but
there was something off about it.

“…Why is she here?”

Emi was normally naive and innocent, but she was making a strained
expression. Her lips were trembling, her eyes were wide open, and
all color had drained from her face, like she was trying to act out the
word “terrified” in a game of charades.
Page | 69
“What’s wrong? Is something going on?”

“No… it’s nothing. Nothing at all.” She grinned like she had
remembered something. “Emi is going home. See you again, Youto-
onii-chan.”

Leaving only these words behind, without giving me any chance to

stop her, Emi separated from me. She started running towards the
dome, tripped, and made another somersault. Like a whirlwind, she
passed the gate and vanished from the school grounds. The one-
piece she was wearing soon left my view.

“What was that about?”

Maybe she had to go to the bathroom? I guess she was probably

holding it in this entire time. If this were one of those special videos,
then that’d be the case, anyway. As a side note, Emi had definitely
made her way home that day. Because the day after, when I called
and asked her about it…

‘Exactly! That’s Onii-chan for you! A super hyper pumpkin!’ She said
in a happy voice, conforming my assumption that my eyes were still
as sharp as ever.

Anyway, when you looked at her flashy escape, anybody would have
been able to tell that it was all just random gibberish. The
Tsutsukakushi sisters were both staring after her in confusion,
whereas Azuki Azusa was still Azuki Azusa, now poking her head from
beneath the shadows of the tree. Her eyes were blinking in a daze,
just staring in the direction Emi had run off to. Now this is a good
chance if I’ve ever seen one.

I tried to be as sneaky as possible. I slipped past the ball net and took
the longer route to get to where she was. Jogging my down the main
walkway, I slipped past the platanus trees at the promenade and
approached her from behind.
Page | 70
“Yo, Azuki Azusa! Let’s play a game of Red Light Green Light!”

“—?!”

I grabbed her shoulders with as much force as I could. Her wavy hair
stood out in all directions, and her imaginary tail froze stiff. Azuki
Azusa jolted up into the air, aggressively flailing her arms and legs
around mid-air, and tried to run away the second she landed. But I
wouldn’t allow that to happen!

“Wait a second, Azuki Azusa! Please hear me out!”

“No! Stop! Let me go! I’ll get angry if you’re rough with me!”

I held both of Azuki Azusa’s hands, forcing both of her legs to the
ground, but by the time I restrained her limbs and gave it some
proper thought, neither of us had any legs left to support our weight,
so we fell down to the ground. Our arms and legs became tangled in
an awkward fashion, and I didn’t even know where I was grabbing
her anymore. There was only one thing I knew for certain.

I still want to be friends with her! I want to talk things out until the
very end! Oh right, there were actually two things.

“My chance has finally arrived. I won’t let you escape today!”

“W-What are you on about?! W-W-W-W-What are you going to do?”

“I want to go to the very end with you, Azuki Azusa! I can’t hold back
anymore! Accept all of my passion!”

“Noooooooo! Pervert! Beast! Wolf in a full moon! Mama,

Mamaaaaaa!”

As a result of my sincere confession, Azuki Azusa started protesting

even more fiercely, this time stooping to insulting me. This forced me
to pin her down even further, finally allowing me a breather.

Page | 71
“Alright… listen carefully, Azuki Azusa.”

When I looked down at her again, I saw the results of our wrestling
match. Dear Azuki Azusa-san’s collar was crooked, a button from her
blouse was gone, and the hem of her skirt almost revealed what was
beneath it. My, my. What might have happened to our fair lady?

“Uuuuu…! Who would listen to you like this…?!”

I know I’m repeating myself, but Azuki Azusa was quite the beauty.
Setting my own personal preferences aside, she was without a doubt
one of the prettiest girls in her year. If Tsutsukakushi possessed the
ability to draw you in with her eyes, then Azuki Azusa had sparkling
gemstones—Wait, I think I’ve said that before. Anyway, this very girl
was now lying in the shadows of a great tree, with an appearance
you wouldn’t ever expect her to have, sniffing and crying. On top of
that, she was being held down by a guy from the same year. Now
what would any onlookers think if they saw this?

“Wahaha! You’re as energetic as always, Prince. I’m jealous.”

“Prince-kun is such a troublemaker. Make sure to take her home

once school closes down, okay?”

The math teacher, also known as the moustache Daruma, and the
teacher responsible for the student year, Glasses-sensei, gave
laughing responses as they passed by us on the main street.
Essentially, they ignored us. And that makes sense. I’m a prince.
Yokodera Ouji. Beloved by all teachers.

“…Prince-san. Pri… nce… san… Prince-san.”

“Hm?”

Someone was poking my back.

Page | 72
“What happened between you and Azuki-san, Prince-san? Doing
something like this out of the blue isn’t good. I have to voice my
discomfort.” An expressionless girl was right next to me.

And then, although she seemed like she was still trying to say
something but hesitating, she pushed my body with both her arms,
freeing Azuki Azusa from our adhesive situation. You could also say
that she was tearing me off of something entirely different.

At the foot of the 7th building’s clock tower, close to the main
thoroughfare, stood an old wooden bench. Using this bench, we
formed a square. In simpler terms—

“Uuuu… Uuuuu…!”

We made Azuki Azusa sit down on the bench, and she growled in
discomfort.

“I see. She’s saying that just being dragged off somewhere by you
when she can’t even properly mentally prepare herself isn’t good. No
more of that from now on.”

Tsutsukakushi was trying to soothe her as she translated for me.

“I understand. Yokodera is a sincere guy, after all. If he’s too close to

you, his sincerity might be too heavy for you to carry. If there’s
something to blame for it, it’s your nature, favored by the gods
themselves…”

Steel-san nodded to herself, interpreting things in her own way.

“I just wanted to talk to you, sorry. I’m glad you’re still at school. Are
you practicing for the sports festival?”

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I replied, and Tsutukakushi relayed the words back to Azuki Azusa… It
might sound weird coming from me, but this game of telephone has
too many personal feelings involved. Telephones are supposed to
just be about transmission of data. But the instant I would try to
approach the bench and have a direct conversation with Azuki Azusa,
she would show signs of running away. Before I realized it, we ended
up repelling each other like the same poles of a magnet. Who should
I ask to help fix this problem?

“…Wait, that reminds me. Why aren’t you wearing the school’s
uniform, Azuki Azusa?”

I tried to find a way to get some sort of conversation going, which

was why I asked this. Ever since the unfortunate incident a few
moments ago, Azuki Azusa had been cowering, protecting her body.
Just like me, she was wearing the clothes that we use for when we’re
coming or making our way home from school. Did she forget her
swimsuit today? What a shame. That’s the only feeling I felt about
that, honestly.

But instead, Azuki Azusa hugged her shoulders.

“…I’m not wearing a swimsuit,” She said with a forceful tone of voice.

“Why not?”

“Because weird things will be done to me.”

“By who?”

“A pervert.”

“What pervert?”

“You.”

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Just when we finally started having a somewhat decent conversation,
she suddenly pointed at me and said such things. A pervert? Who?
Me?

“Haha, that joke hurt a bit. There’s no way I would do something like
that. Just ask everyone else.”

“Lies.” Azuki Azusa responded with a firm voice.

The light shining from her emerald eyes pierced me like a curtain
pierced by sunlight.

“You’re the type of pervert who’d come up with your own swimsuit
design. You’re the type of pervert who’s fine as long as someone is
wearing a swimsuit. Whenever you see swimsuits, you go crazy, you
pervert. And you still didn’t even come to Okinawa, you pervert!
Calling you as a pervert is just as easy as calling black and white spots
on a panda’s fur!”

“W-What are you talking about…?”

All of these accusations hit me hard enough to make me stagger. Just

what made her feel this way?!

“Pervert… Prince… Pervert-san… Prince-san… Pervert-san… A true

pervert, yes.”

The one who I had assumed to be my ally, Tsutsukakushi, suddenly

started agreeing with her. Like a kitten who had finally found a
hidden blanket, she clung to this special word and turned around
towards me. Finally, Tsutsukakushi and Azuki Azusa spoke up at the
same time.

“Pervert! Yokodera is a pervert! A pervert through and through!”

“He truly was a pervert. Of course he is. He is a pervert indeed.”

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“That’s right! He’s a pervert! Perverted baboon, perverted
orangutan, perverted wolf!”

It was a festival filled with only shouts of the word ‘pervert’. The
heck is this? What did I do to deserve this? I’m a prince. Yokodera
Ouji—

“Senpai is a pervert, after all.” Tsutsukakushi muttered, almost as if

she was trying to time it to completely throw me off balance.

With a calm, flat voice, overflowing with cuteness, she gave me the
last piece to the puzzle with a familiar voice and tone. I felt shivers of
satisfaction running all over my body. Even I had been wondering
what was wrong with me, thinking ‘Ah, even our dear Yokodera-kun
can fall from grace’. Senpai is a pervert after all. Senpai is a pervert
after all. Senpai is a pervert after all. These magic words sunk deep
into my body, clearing up this fog inside of me. I felt like an idiot to
still be wearing a baseball cap, so I quickly took it off without
anybody noticing.

I am Yokodera, the Perverted Prince. No girl would ever treat me

nicely. Tons of memories that involved me being a pervert came
rushing back into my mind like the plague. Yo man, it’s been a while.
Have you had a good dream? Well that’s over now. Take this punch
to the gut instead.

“…Hey, are you okay? You look like followers of a new cult that’s
worshiping some weird idiom.” Steel-san, who had kept quiet until
now, was whispering into my ear with a super serious expression.

Her worried expression gave me a feeling of relief. She was the only
one who had never treated Yokodera-kun like a pervert. My heart
skipped a beat. If I didn’t know that she already had a person she
loved, I might just have just fallen for her on the spot. Anyway, as for
the founder of the religious church of Pervert, Azuki Azusa was still

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busy with her enlightenment activities. What a passionate girl. She
sat on the bench, poking at Tsutsukakushi’s side. Sighing, the
swimsuit-wearing expressionless girl looked up at her.

“…Hey, why are you wearing a swimsuit? We’re at school, you

know.” Azuki Azusa asked.

“I mean, I’m wearing it because we’re at school.”

“That’s not what I meant. This is a school. That is a swimsuit. This is a

uniform. Do you get it?”

After Azuki Azusa told her that, Tsutsukakushi took a closer look at
the girl, and at the skirt and blouse the girl was wearing. She then
gazed down at the swimsuit she was wearing. With an indifferent
expression, she pulled at the thin fabric around her chest, and
returned it back to normal. She pulled on it again, only for some
reason to look at me immediately after. Now that Azuki Azusa had
brought it up, the binding spell from the wish had vanished. I decided
to at least try to cheer her up in some way or another.

“I-I think it looks good on you. Swimsuits really make the girl. You
looked especially adorable when you walked down the street like
that.”

“………”

“That reminds me, this was the first time I could actually feast my
eyes upon your glorious body while you were wearing a swimsuit,
Tsutsukakushi. I didn’t think it would look this good. Ha ha ha.”

“………”

Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko could make no expression whatsoever, no

matter the situation. She had a flawless blank expression. However,

Page | 77
for this one moment, I felt like I saw her grow pale. Slowly, very
slowly, almost in slow motion, she collapsed to the ground.

“My perfect swimsuit plan… not here…”

Tsutsukakushi was lying on her side and quivering. She looked like a
boxer who had been on his way to fight for the title of being the best
in the world, only to be beaten up by some delinquent on the street.
Her body turned snow white as all blood left her face. But why,
though? Also, and this isn’t related at all, but secret plans? These two
sisters sure are alike.

Right when I decided that I should probably help her get up, Azuki
Azusa cut between us. Threatening me with a harsh glare, she took
Tsutsukakushi and helped her inside the school building. Is there
such a thing as a magnet shop that can help fix the distance between
two magnets of the same polarity? The problem between Azuki
Azusa and I is still there.

Tsutsukakushi finished changing twenty minutes later. In that time,

Steel-san and her two navy-blue Mt. Everests held a conversation
with me.

“I personally think that a swimsuit feels more cool and refreshing

whenever you want to work out. Why don’t we make this the
running fashion of the 21st century? What do you think, Yokodera?”

“It’s the best idea! I’ll follow you forever!”

“Right? From now on, I’ll start wearing this most of the time.”

Or so she said, but when she went back home, her little sister
persuaded her otherwise. Also, Azuki Azusa never came back.

“I don’t want to talk to a pervert. Don’t bother me,” was the

message Tsutsukakushi relayed to me in her stead.

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“Or so she says, but when I ‘don’t bother her,’ she’s just going to
watch me from afar again…”

In frustration, I kicked an empty bench, but it was more solid than I

thought. I really don’t understand girls. Why do they wear super
short skirts, but then cover them up with their bookbag when they
walk up the stairs?

“Are you two fighting? Fighting is no good. No good at all.”

Tsutsukakushi looked at me in a troubled fashion, even though she
didn’t know what was going on. “I want Senpai and Azuki-san to be
as close as before… But being too close is a bit—” Tsutsukakushi was
stopped mid-sentence by the ringing bells of the clock tower, and
she didn’t finish her sentence.

We were right below the 7th building’s clock tower, so the sound
was almost deafening. While Tsutsukakushi was covering her ears,
we quickly made our way back to the main street. Almost like we
were a dog and a cat running away from an enemy with our tails
between our legs. Then again, that part can’t be helped.

“…It’s butting in even now?”

Right when we got onto the main street, I glared up at the top of the
clock tower. It was a stylish building, seven stories tall. There was a
small roof above the mechanical clock for the belltower, and above
that sat an ominous-looking cat statue. It was the statue of a
beckoning cat that I had seen so many times I was sick of it. The
Stony Cat was lording over the school as it stood in the center of it
all. Yeah. We get it. You’re trying to do us a favor, are you? Just go
home already, you darned cat god. Azuki Azusa not only helped us
realize that I was a pervert; she also made us notice the swimsuits
and the cat god ruling over the school. Not to mention she helped us
realize the entire school had transformed. Our school is an average
school you can find anywhere. But now we have bells ringing, a
Page | 79
church, Confucian temple, and even ruins. It bore no relation to a cat
statue. Until today, that is.

After Azuki Azusa told Tsutsukakushi this, and Tsutsukakushi in turn

told me, I could only laugh. I should have had some sense of
discomfort because of surroundings like these, but I hadn’t even
noticed it. If she hadn’t told us, I would have continued thinking this
was normal for all eternity. Even if I had turned into a girl from one
day to the next, I might have just lived my life without realizing it.
That’s actually pretty amazing. It gets my blood boiling. Can we go
with that for the next scenario, please?

—Anyway. This compass in my head, which had been going crazy this
far, was now pointing in the right direction.

“It seems like someone else made another wish to it.” As if she was
reading my thoughts, Tsutsukakushi reached the same conclusion as
I did.

First: Have a baseball hat come to Yokodera-kun, and make him be

treated like a prince2.

Second: Have school swimsuits appear, and make them the standard
uniform for all students.

Third: Fill the school with an Italian atmosphere, and change its
entire appearance.

This sensation plaguing me was all too familiar. It definitely

resembled what had happened a while back at the Tsutsukakushi
Household. It’s the same as back when Azuki Azusa got summoned
to the storehouse and had been tied up with the handcuffs. That
soft, spongy sensation from back then is still lingering in my brain
cells, and I didn’t wash my fingertips for a while after that so I could
still feel it, but until Azuki Azusa cancelled her wish, my head had
been foggy.
Page | 80
It felt like I had to do it no matter what. That’s probably what causes
everyone to treat me like a prince, and why they all suddenly started
thinking that swimsuits were a perfectly normal school uniform. But
the wish this time hasn’t been cancelled just yet. The school isn’t
back to normal, and the girls over there are still wearing swimsuits.
Even the baseball cap is still in my hand. That would mean—

“But Azuki Azusa actually caught on to it…”

Only she had managed to break free from the mental reign of the cat
statue. Unlike us, who needed to be told everything over and over, it
only took her one attempt. But how could such a difference come to
be? Does she just hate swimsuits more than Tsutsukakushi? Or does
she have a stronger passion against perverts? I can’t tell.

“Still, this has turned quite troublesome.”

“What exactly?”

“Someone wished for the world to change like this. But everyone
who knows about the Tsutsukakushi Family’s Cat God should know
about the risks. And yet things still ended up like this…”

“…Are you seriously saying that?” Tsutsukakushi, who had been

walking around close by, suddenly stopped.

She walked towards me at a remarkably fast pace, peeking up at my

face with her usual deadpan gaze. Whoah, I’m feeling a lot of
pressure here.

“What do you mean?”

“I believe this incident is fairly easy to decipher. Though things are a

bit more convoluted this time around, I can see three parts to this.
The uniforms turned into swimsuits. Senpai is being treated like a

Page | 81
prince. School turned more fun. If you sum it up, that’s what it boils
down to.”

“Yup, I agree.”

“The only person who benefits from this is you, Prince-san.”

“I see… Hm?”

Before I realized what was going on, the trial against me had been
started and completed at the same time. The prosecutor was
Tsutsukakushi, and the accused was Yokodera, and I realized I had
already been brought out to the gallows.

“Wha, eh?! I-It’s not me, though! Why do you think it’s me?!”

“There is only one person who would go this far to make the entire
student body wear swimsuits. And who was so happy to be called
‘Prince’ again?”

“You’ve got it wrong! I mean, it’s true that I wanted to go back to my

normal student life without being labeled as a pervert! And I also
burned the sight of you in a swimsuit deep into my brain cells as
well! And whenever I close my eyes, I can see it all over again… Hee
hee hee!”

“Is that so? Then I will never wear a swimsuit in front of you ever
again. Relying on the power of the cat god to fulfill your desires is
something only a despicable pervert would do.”

“I succumbed to temptation, and will reflect on my sins… Wait, that’s

not it! I didn’t pray to that thing!”

“I’m joking.”

“Eh?”

Page | 82
“I can’t exactly talk like a saint. I understand what it feels like to be
desperate enough to rely on the Cat God.” Tsutsukakushi took my
hand and put her small one on top of mine.

Her blue obsidian eyes were gazing straight at me.

“I might have been a bit too cruel just now. I’m sorry. No matter
what kind of person you may become, I will always be your ally,
Senpai, so remember that.”

“S-Stop… don’t be so kind to me…”

“I’ll close my eyes two or three times, so go enjoy this world to the
fullest. Once you’re satisfied, let’s face reality. I’ll always be right
with you. I don’t mind calling you ‘Prince’ once in a while.” They
were warm, comfortable words.

She’s like an angel helping to reform a good-for-nothing man who

stole a 100yen girl video from a store.

“So you’ll eventually have to cancel this wish, Prince-san. People may
live off bread, but they cannot live off dreams, right?”

I was astonished. Tsutsukakushi continued with the kindness of

Christ, muttering things like ‘You can never be satisfied with me, is
it?’ or ‘Only this once, okay?’, clearly acting like an Onee-san. She
really was well-suited to be a member of the children’s welfare club,
wasn’t she? But, in the end, I was left still being considered a pervert,
with my only ally doubting me.

‘Despair is a sickness unto death,’ is what the Danish philosopher

Kierkegaard has stated. Since he was the type of pervert who would
feel carnal desires towards loli maids3, I don’t think I’d be able to get
along with him very well, but right now I totally understand what he

Page | 83
was trying to say. I don’t care about being ignored by those girls over
there, or being accused of being a pervert, in the slightest. As long as
I can pretend that all of them are hardcore tsunderes, I can live in
happiness for another 100 years. But not having Tsutsukakushi
believe me… that was when I felt true despair.

“Swimsuits are the best… Girls adjusting their swimsuits is the most
beautiful sight ever…”

I stood on the balcony of the 7th building’s clock tower, right

beneath the belltower, and I muttered to myself in solitude. In the
middle of the round colosseum, on the steeple of the church, this 7th
building stood tallest in the sky, allowing you to look over the school
as a whole. From the school grounds with scattered rounds all
around, I could see all the way to what looked like a curtain of girls
wearing swimsuits. Even looking at it now, it really seems perfect.

“This really is a world created for me, isn’t it?”

How do I put it? I feel like everything will have a happy end if I just
accept the fact that this situation has come to pass because of me. At
the very least, Tsutsukakushi would be satisfied by this, I could leave
this world in the back of my head as a weird irregularity, and finally
focus on the main problem: Azuki Azusa.

I accept it, Cat God. This is my loss. So please help me—

“Wait, Yokodera! Don’t rush things!”

“Guha?!”

Both my legs were suddenly tackled from underneath me, and I was
slammed against the iron fence. My hit was hit again and again, the
emergency ladder greeted my head and face several times, and I was
thrown to the floor. I felt a dull impact on my stomach, which caused
me to be knocked out for at least ten seconds.
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“I heard everything! Leave it to me! Just don’t think about jumping!”

“Ugh…”

“Y-Yokodera?! What are these wounds?! Who would make you

suffer like this?!”

You! …Though I couldn’t say that. I knew that she was probably just
trying to be kind, but considering that she was forming a fist while
sitting on top of me, I would rather not test my luck.

According to the King:

After Tsutsukakushi forced her to change into her uniform, she had
told her about the circumstances and irregularities surrounding the
school. Including the accusation that the criminal who had prayed to
the Cat God was Yokodera Youto. But even so—

“I don’t doubt you in the slightest. No matter what logical conclusion

my perfect, impeccable, cute Tsukiko might arrive at, just like God
has made us two siblings, everyone has their own faults.” Steel-san
announced with a proud voice.

Her two eyes were gleaming like the setting sun, reflecting the world
in them. Her beautiful voice was carried across the wind, passing
through the world.

“Club President…”

When I heard my own voice, it sounded like I was close to breaking

out in tears. Of course, there are a few things I felt like I should
probably correct her on, but I was also just moved. That reminds me,
something like that as written in the ‘A Wild Sheep Chase’ series:
Unbeatable despair does not exist. Just like an unbeatable swimsuit
doesn’t exist, either. Still laying sideways on the balcony, I looked up
at the imposing King. She looked more reliable than anybody else in

Page | 85
the world. The emergency ladder was still shaking from the impact,
Steel-san was completely ignoring it, and she was still sitting on top
of me, but none of that mattered anymore. Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi
believed in me. No matter the time, unrelated to anything.

“…And that’s what I said.”

“Yes?”

“So… could you maybe tell your younger brother about that?” Steel-
san fidgeted nervously, tapping her fingers together as she glanced
down at me. “Ah, well, just, you know, let him know that Club
President Tsutsukakushi is actually kind, reliable, and a worthy future
wife and all that, but saying too much would make it sound
unnatural! That being said, don’t hold back, either! Knowing how
clever you are, I know that you will have solid judgement when it
comes to it!”

In other words, she wants my imaginary younger brother to have a

better image of her. Her cheeks were reddened, not only by the light
of the setting sun, as she continued to steal glances at me here and
there. Um, where did my Queen Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi go? On
some travels around the world? Can I have her back instead of this
maiden?

“Club President, um… can I please organize my thoughts…?”

“What’s wrong? Did I not manage to get it across? Now that might
be a bit troublesome.” Her fidgeting fingers slowly started to form a
fist, like she was getting ready for a full-blown Steel Punch.

The world started to shake like crazy above my head. Ahh, I see! I’m
still being restrained beneath Steel-san. I’m just being threatened!

“There is another problem before that! And I’ve already brought it

up countless times before!”
Page | 86
That being said, I prepared myself for the worst and raised my voice.
No matter how much you threaten me, I won’t back down! Today, I’ll
accept all the debt I have gathered.

“I actually don’t—”

“Family-intern teasing pulverizing destruction punch!”

—Have a younger brother, is what I wanted to say, but before I could

even let out another sound, a barrage of slaps came raining down.
They felt so real that I couldn’t fight back.

“Fool! Are you still saying that?!” Steel-san’s sky blue eyes were
shining bright like transparent crystal balls.

Tears ran down her cheeks, and she shook my shoulders.

“If you refuse to accept it, then I’ll keep hitting you until you do!
Hurting you physically hurts me just as much mentally, but I’ll hit you
for his sake!”

In order to protect me from myself, she’s making me suffer as she

continues to hit me. I know I might sound rude when I say this, but
Steel-san’s love is really annoying!

“Stop it already! I get it, I get it! So who is more important to you?
Me or my younger brother?!”

“Don’t change the subject! Your faces look identical, your voices are
identical, your gestures are identical, almost like one is an invisible
existence. If I’m not careful, I might start seeing you as the same
person, so of course I think that both of you are just as important as
each other!”

“Ding ding ding! Let’s try digging a bit deeper into that argument you
just made!”

Page | 87
“Hm… I wonder what the younger Yokodera brother is doing right
now… I’m curious…”

“I didn’t mean digging in that way! Don’t blush like that! Stop
fidgeting like that! Look at me! Listen to me instead!”

“If you don’t promise to tell your younger brother, then I won’t.”

“Don’t make yourself sound cute now! None of that! Wait, so the
reason you actually believed me is because you were trying to win
points with my younger brother?!”

“Now, no accusations like that. Just just just where where where do
you have any proof proof proof about that…?”

“Gaaaaah, I won’t believe anybody anymore! Here I come,

Kierkegaard!”

“—Hold on a second, Yokodera. There is another reason that stops

me from doubting you.”

Steel-san opened her arms wide, as if to indicate the familiar scenery

beneath her. The round colosseum, the green hill filled with ruins, a
grotto in the pool, a water fountain with engravings in the courtyard,
the slanting belfry, the arches surrounding the outer walls, the long
concave corridors, several minarets and crosses, an entrance to a
giant cylindrical building, etc etc.

“…That former gym hall over there. You might already know, but I
assume that this is the Colosseo4 in Rome. The courtyard with the
ruins is most likely the hill at the Foro Romano5. The swimming
grounds have to be the Blue Grotto. The courtyard is the Piazza
Navona, and the first building, the office building, is the leaning
Tower of Pisa. The other buildings you can see are Palazzo Ducale,
the Uffizi Gallery, St. Peter’s Basilica—”

Page | 88
And so on. Honestly, most of these places and locations were new to
me, not to mention that her pronunciation seemed weird.

“These are all famous tourist attractions in Italy. All of them are the
best of the best.”

“…How do you know all that?”

Everything I’ve seen before is thanks to pictures, like the Colosseum,

or the leaning Tower of Pisa. I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard this
from the well-informed younger Tsutsukakushi sister. But this is
Steel-san we’re talking about. She doesn’t even know half of the
alphabet.

“It’s simple. I learned about Italy because it is worth learning about.

What is there about Italy worth mentioning?”

“Pasta? Their cars? Their fashion brands? The Catholic church?”

“Not quite. The most important thing is their techniques for picking
up girls.”

“Huh?”

“Apparently, Italian men are skilled at winning over whatever is in

front of them. So I thought that I should go there myself and learn
these techniques for when the time comes… seeing that I… you
know… have two important people to me now…” Steel-san went into
her fidgeting mode for a second time.

Basically, she wanted to study abroad in Italy, and then study at the
University of Massachusetts, and finally move to Arabia! What an
impressive plan! So many ridiculous dreams to chase! Seriously,
study up on these things properly. I feel bad for the teacher who is
responsible for your future consultation.

“—Anyway, leaving that joke aside…”

Page | 89
“You were definitely serious about that!”

“…I planned to move to Italy, but that desire was something I had
more than ten years ago.” Steel-san said bluntly.

I tried to laugh it off, only for my throat to squeeze up. Her sky blue
eyes were filled with transparent—Let’s say it was similar to when
she gazed at the family photo in her room—feelings of solitude.

“Apparently, our father had connections to people who live in Italy.

There’s an old album in the bookshelves of the storehouse.
Whenever we couldn’t sleep when we were young, Tsukiko and I
would take these albums and go through them at night. When our
eyes closed, we thought of the far-away country. Though this is a
story from the past, now that I’m surrounded by this exact scenery, I
can’t help but feel nostalgic.”

Even after I waited for a while, she said nothing else. The girl who
had lived all alone with her little sister in that old house just looked
through the fence into the distance without taking a glance in my
direction. As the evening scenery of the country she once admired
slowly started to change, we heard the large bells ringing the tune of
dusk, and she finally opened her mouth again.

“That’s why this world might actually be my wish.”

“Club President…”

“That’s the reason why I couldn’t doubt you. I mean, why Italy of all
places? Though is this entire situation my fault, your fault, our
someone else’s fault entirely?”

The profile of Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi looked oddly reliable, yet

young at the same time. At the top of the pole in the center of a cafe
terrace located in the middle of the courtyard, the Italian flag waved

Page | 90
in the wind, showing its three colors. After watching this sight in
silence for a bit, I found myself unable to bear it, and I spoke up.

“…I might have an idea who’s behind this.”

“What did you say?”

“I believe we might have to ask her out. Could you help me?”

“Of course. I want to know the truth as well.”

The previously alone girl finally bit her lip ever so softly, and
separated her gaze from the scenery around us. She stood up and
lent me a hand, allowing me to stand up in one go. Her palm was
warm, soft, and filled with strength and determination.

Page | 91
Page | 92
1 This one’s a doozy so stick with me. In general, Japanese Kanji have
a ‘kunyomi’ (Japanese reading) and ‘onyomi’ (Chinese reading). Using
the Japanese reading, you get Yokodera, but with the Chinese
reading, you get ‘Ouji’, which in this context means Prince.

2 Now that I think about it, this whole thing might be a reference to
Max Patkin, who was called the Clown Prince of Baseball

3 This might be a distant reference to a novel called ‘Lolita’, which

apparently has connections to this philosopher, but lord knows.

4 She uses the Italian name here

5 Roman Forum

Page | 93
Chapter 3: Alice in Wonderland
If you’re going to eat toast, using the Tsutsukakushi brand apple jam
is the way to go.

“Get some more jam, and also get a wife for yourself, a girl who’s an
absolute waste on you.”

I ignored my Mom pestering me like that, and I finished my lunch. I

looked at the time, strolled through the living room, looked at the
time, sat on the sofa, looked at the time, and turned on the TV. The
weather forecast Onee-san, who’s popular with a good number of
people, had just handed it over to the newscaster.

‘Hello everyone. It’s time for the news at noon. All over Italy, we can
see a heavy fog looming which hasn’t been seen for the past ten
years or so, and the Italian government has issued an emergency
warning. This irregular phenomenon especially occurs around
popular tourist locations, with a few buildings assumed to have even
vanished entirely in this fog, but the fog is making local governments
unable to confirm the situation inside. Luckily, no injuries have yet
been reported. I heard that the local governments were trying to
catch the fog, but they mist! Haha… Ha?1 Um…’

The studio was dead silent.

‘Ahem! On to the next block of news. Concerning the incident of

Prince Borscht—also known as Saito’s—baseball cap suddenly
vanishing during a fan meetup, Player Saito has stated that he does
not doubt the fans, and is not planning on involving the police in this
matter. Naturally, upon hearing this, the fans all exclaimed their trust
into Saito, saying Banzai-to2! …Eh? Ah, I understand. We’ll be right
back after commercials…’

Page | 94
I guess his position is going to be open once the commercials are
over. You can do it, our beloved weather Onee-san. I looked at the
clock again.

“What are you waiting for this entire time, huh? Is it not time yet,
hm?”

My Mom gave a faint laugh, but I once again ignored it. That was
when the doorbell finally rang. I jolted up from the sofa like the
Atlanta Olympics men’s 100m dash winner Donovan Bailey, stepping
out onto the hallway while trying my hardest not to look like I was in
a hurry, and headed to the front entrance. After checking through
the intercom, I opened the door. ‘Milk’ was what was written on the
t-shirt the girl standing outside on our porch was wearing. Upon
seeing her fashion sense, I couldn’t help but feel worried for her.
After a short, awkward silence…

“Hello, Club President.”

“Yes, what a wonderful and lucky day it is.”

The two of us forced out half a smile to hide our serious expressions,
bowing awkwardly to each other. Inviting a girl over to your house.
No matter how many times you do it, you simply can’t get used to it.

Back when the Tsutsukakushi sisters and Azuki Azusa came to my

house, it was more chaotic than ever before. A lot happened
between Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko and Azuki Azusa, but the most
troublesome one was definitely Steel-san. She was absolutely
desperately trying to convince my Mom to admit that her imaginary
second son was really part of the family.

At that time, because of the various circumstances, I couldn’t really

look her in the eyes, but just putting tape over her mouth wasn’t an
option, so I had to let her reign free. After that, Mom told me that
making up different characters to fool around with women were
Page | 95
great qualities to have as a pimp, and that she was looking forward
to my future. In other words, she got the completely wrong idea, and
that made things a pain to be honest.

However, this time around, there wasn’t any need to worry about it,
because Steel-san didn’t come here to play. The world has changed,
and that was probably Emi’s doing. We have to find a way to revolt
against her in order to clear up the doubts people have about me.
Thus, we held our honorable First Anti-Emi Operation Meeting. The
honor of Yokodera-kun is resting upon this, so I have to use whatever
method I have at my disposal.

My room was barely 10m2. It’s equipped with shelves, a desk, a bed,
and a PC on the wall, making this a perfect place for a strategy
meeting. I was certain that Steel-san was aware of the urgency of the
situation, so I figured she’d only look around a bit, but…

“…What are you doing? Imitating a crocodile?”

“Yes. Gaaaah.”

“Was that supposed to be a crocodile sound?! Animal professor

Azuki would blow a fuse! …No, seriously, what are you doing?”

“Well, I was just checking something…”

Even now, she was crouched down on the floor, going about her
business like this was her own room. She took out a flashlight and
ruler like an archeologist at an excavation site. And said excavation
side was actually located beneath my bed.

Here I would like to stop and pose a question to everyone. Have you
ever had your treasured goods found by your parents? Well I
haven’t. This is more than talking about security. If you keep your
room sparkling clean all day, your parents don’t feel the need to
clean it up, and if you take care of your own laundry, there’s no
Page | 96
reason for them to even enter the room. So I guess you could say I
was rather lax about hiding it, and I guess you could say that all of it
was actually hidden beneath my bed—

“Gyaaaaa! Don’t look there!”

“Don’t worry, this is nothing but a bet. Don’t mind me, okay?”

“Huh?! What do you mean by a ‘bet?!’ Of course I’d care what you’re
doing in my room! And don’t try to make yourself sound cute now!
Who are you trying to fool by doing that?!”

I jumped at the professor in archeology Steel, but she stopped me

with one hand. That range her arm has is crazy. With her free hand,
she salvaged a cardboard box that originally held mandarin oranges.

“It’s fine. It’s a bet on relief, safety, and sound sleep. A bet to see if
Yokodera Youto possesses outrageous pornography. This way I can
sleep soundly at night.”

“You definitely can’t! And what kind of competition or bet or

whatever was this anyway?!”

“…It’s all Tsukiko’s fault.” Steel-san pouted. “We happened to end up

talking about you, and Tsukiko kept saying how perverted you were.
Knowing you, I stressed that this was absolutely not possible.
However, she told me that ‘He keeps 37 books of lewd content, 54
videos with very indecent scenes, 16 disgusting practical use wares,
and one Barbara-san beneath his bed.’ Stuff like that.”

“N-No way…”

“That’s right. After hearing such a lie, I just had to make sure.
Considering that your honor is on the line, I have to steel my resolve
and see it for myself. That is how this bet came into place, and there
are ten steamed buns on the line.”

Page | 97
“Don’t bring my pride into a competition like that! Talk about my
honor when I’m around! Also, how does your little sister know the
exact number of goods in my room?!”

“We visited you not too long ago, right? She used the time while you
were away to search through the room, apparently. Then she started
spouting nonsense like that. Ah, youth.”

She’s actually pretty aggressive despite her looks, I see! So that’s

what the notebook she brought with her was for! She never acted
like that when I was around!

“I don’t know about other men, but we’re talking about the flag-
bearer of a new world of enlightenment, Yokodera, so I was so sure
of my win that I bet on it. Once I find the truth, I’ll have her make
some steamed buns for…Mm?” She opened one of the cardboard
boxes and abruptly stopped talking.

What she had picked up was a new purchase I made not too long ago
at a bookstore, something that had quite an impact.

“What is this…? ‘Great war of the sports club president’s rocket

bazookas’…Hm?”

“……”

“This is…”

“W-Well, I was just thinking about how to improve the track-and-

field club even more. When you think about a vision built upon a
global standard, consider the political power game of high school, a
more military-like management opportunity could potentially be a
good measure of planning3.”

“O-Okay… and what about this rocket… and bazookas…?”

Page | 98
“Rocket bazookas. It’s English. The formal name of that is ‘The rocket
bazookas to occupy other clubs4’ — Basically, it means that we will
occupy the other clubs by using military rocket bazookas.”

“But why are all the girls on the cover naked then?”

“Most likely victims of this guerilla warfare. I imagine the mission to

search for the club’s secret had failed.”

“What about this tied-up girl?”

“Most likely a soviet spy, or an agent of the KGB.”

“She looks a bit like me.”

“……”

“Only she looks somewhat unkempt.”

“……”

“…Her clothes… are so stiff…”

“………”

“……Stains…”

“………”

I’m done for. I slowly got up, stepped out into the hallway, and
closed the door behind me. I went down a floor and took off my
short-sleeved shirt. I turned it inside out and put it on again. I then
took three deep breaths and stomped my way up the stairs.

“What are you doing in my room?!” I screamed in rage.

“Hyan?!”

Page | 99
Steel-san had been closely observing a magazine with her nose
between the pages. She suddenly jolted upright, throwing the
magazine up into the air. Catching it mid-air, she quickly flung this
dangerous object right outside the window.

Page | 100
Page | 101
“How did you just get into my room, huh?!”

“Eh, ah, eh, Yokodera did… Yokodera was… You are…”

“That stupid older brother of mine! He’s letting people into my room
again. He keeps lying about my room being his room, even though
this is my room, and nothing in here is related to my older brother at
all, and he normally never even goes into my room…! Anyway, get
out already!” I spoke with a fake, angry voice as I clicked my tongue.

…Please! I really couldn’t help it this time! Please just let this slide! If
not, I’ll walk into the sun!

“…Hey. How many times do you have to deceive me until you’re

satisfied?”

“Urk…”

“Behaving like that won’t change reality.” She faced the wall still,
speaking in a displeased tone. “Of course I would be here. You
should have heard from your older brother, right? We were going to
hold a secret meeting concerning Yokodera’s problem in his younger
brother’s room.”

“…Eh?”

“Oh, so you haven’t heard? Weird. There seems to be an

inconsistency in your communication. How troublesome. But since
I’m a girl who doesn’t bulge no matter what, I can’t leave your room
at any cost. A-A-A-At this rate, I’ll be forced to hold the secret
meeting with you you you you you, slowly, thoroughly, steamingly,
maybe?!” She fidgeted nervously, casting furtive glances at me.

She’s trying to deceive me after I just deceived her. What even is

this?

“……”
Page | 102
“………”

“Y-You didn’t hear about it… from your older brother?”

“…Ah, no, that’s right. It just completely slipped my mind.”

“W-What?! O-Oh yeah, I see! What a troublesome fellow you are!”

First she clapped her hands in joy, only to scold me. “A-And what
exactly did he say?”

“…Um, that you saved him, and that I should help you. He said that
Club President Tsutsukakushi is actually kind, reliable, and a worthy
future wife… Thanks, Steel-san. You really are a good person.”

“Mmmm! A-All according to keikaku!” A giant grin formed on her

bright face. “…Ah. Well, I was fine without you knowing, and I don’t
like being praised in secret too much… but it can’t be helped now
that he told you… For crying out loud! I’ll have to give him an earful
later, that Yokodera!” She said, and tried to act troubled while
grinning from ear to ear.

I made a faint giggle at the sight of that, and started the meeting for
real. If not, my younger brother might have just done a Lupin dive5
and spent his time practicing his moves. Well, it’s not like we could
actually have a proper meeting like that in a situation like this. I was
wondering how we could make Emi confess to praying to the Cat
God, but Steel-san was busy fiddling with the tip of her ponytail.

“That reminds me. I’ve heard that giving a ring to a woman on her
birthday is becoming more popular as of late. By the way, my
birthday is next month.”

Or…

“Marrying a man younger than you apparently is a great way to

assure a harmonious marriage.”

Page | 103
Or…

“Is your favorite hairstyle a pony—No, nevermind.”

And so on. She just kept muttering things like that as she fidgeted
like someone from the Planet Fidget Fidget. I know I make it sound
like this is someone else’s problem, but everytime I hear this, there’s
the younger Yokodera brother inside of me who wants to start
wrestling already. The fact that her t-shirt is shaking all over the
place doesn’t help things, either.

“I know! I figured something out, younger Yokodera brother.”

“…What is it this time?”

“Do you have any pictures of you as a young boy? I am terribly

interested in such things! …Wait, no, I was just wondering if that
could maybe help us find something against this Emi person. M-My
womanly senses are tingling…”

Tingling, my ass. This is totally unrelated, right? As if that would be

enough to convince me.

“Thank you!”

I took out an album from the lowest part of the shelf and handed it
to Steel-san. Is it totally unrelated? Yeah, I know it is. But, the rocket
bazookas are still lingering in the back of my mind, so my doctrine of
passive resistance is faulty right now.

“There’s more, too. A lot more. Several books’ worth. What year do
you want to start with?”

“Let’s see… Ohh?!”

“Um?”

“…I-I kind of want to see everything… i-is that bad?”

Page | 104
Steel-san made this sound like a rehearsal, with an oddly cute way of
phrasing it. This resulted in Yokodera-kun’s doctrine of passive
resistance entirely betraying the advocates of war and the great
alliance to join the Steel Army. A great number of albums were
spread out on the bed, and we looked at them, sitting shoulder to
shoulder.

“Ohhh, how adorable! Is this you back as a kindergartner, chasing a

cat?”

“Yup, that’s right.”

“That must mean that this grade schooler with their hair in tategami
fashion is your older brother!”

“……Yeah.”

“I see. Then this over here must be you as well, posing like your older
brother.”

“……Probably.”

What is she using to distinguish us? The color of our clothes?

“You strike a close resemblance to a friend of mine who has lived in

our neighbourhood when I was really young. Those two eyes, that
nose and mouth… all of them are so distinct…”

“You can’t even distinguish our faces!”

“That is not true. You just look exactly the same. Not to mention that
you’re both able to speak Japanese, and you both are Asian.”

“I see, I see, so basically we look like 80% of this country’s

population.”

“Wait, so 80% when you put it together… it’s maybe… 100 people?
No! 80?!”
Page | 105
Around one hundred million, actually. The world is a village of 100
people, or so she must think. How adorable.

“More importantly, younger Yokodera brother! I myself can boast an

uncountable number of memorable pictures of Tsukiko, but I can’t
hope to rival this number. What is this about?”

“Did I never tell you? My older sister loves taking pictures, so she
never goes anywhere without taking some.”

“Ahh… she’s a peculiar person.”

“Not as much as you, Steel-san.”

“If you have this many pictures… then maybe you have one of you
going to the toilet as well, and I could slip it in my pocket when
you’re not looking… and cover it up by looking at another album…
Yes, perfect!”

“Next time you think of a plan, how about trying to keep it inside
your head? I feel like running away! You can take a few, I won’t miss
them.”

We went through the various albums as we shared idle talk.

Sometimes our hands would touch, our shoulders would lean against
the other, and I felt the vibrations during her laughter, or her
warmth at my side. Really, being together with a girl along the Z-axis
is a great thing. It’s so warm and soft.

If we had stayed in this position for another hour, my younger

brother might have actually turned into a pro wrestler.

“Oh, who is this man next to the older Yokodera brother?”

“Ponta. He is the childhood friend of mine… and of my older brother.

He’s Emi’s older brother.”

Page | 106
“Hmmm. That’s quite a fierce facial expression… Ah! Not as fierce as
you, of course! To me, you’re the eternal number one!”

“I really don’t need any label like that.”

“Speaking of her older brother, do you have pictures of that girl

here? I nearly forgot to check.”

“Don’t just forget about that! I’m showing you these in hopes of
finding clues! Emi is in the pictures with her older brother, of
course.”

“Clues? Think about it rationally. There’s no way you’d have

something like that in your old pictures.”

“I would love to learn how you manage to make yourself more

important like this…”

“So where is this Emi girl?”

“Right there, and over there. Even there. She’s always been close
with Ponta.”

“—Again, I’m asking you where she is.” Steel-san narrowed her stern
eyes.

I tapped on one of the pictures inside the album. She was inside
Ponta’s arms, laughing gleefully.

“This man is holding a rabbit.”

“…Eh?”

“Stop joking around, younger Yokodera brother. That’s a rabbit. Your

childhood friend always has a rabbit in all these pictures.”

She slammed her finger on one photo in the album. In this very
picture, I could see her laughing gleefully in Ponta’s arms as her

Page | 107
twintails shook—Or so I thought, but for some reason, there was
now only a rabbit with long ears there, sitting calmly.

“There is no ‘Emi’ here.”

“Ah… Ahhhhhh!”

An impact struck me, making me feel like I had been hit by a steel
punch. The needle of the compass inside my head suddenly pointed
in one direction: The truth.

—Ponta’s little sister is just a rabbit!

*

Naturally, my childhood friend is purely Japanese in every way, and

an only child. That was why he would treat his beloved house rabbit
as a little sister before he even had a reason, doting on it forever and
ever. I’ve played with that rabbit countless times before. Even
though it was supposed to be a female rabbit, he called it ‘Yaji-san’.
Ponta’s nickname never had anything to do with ‘Pollarola,’ either.

When I thought about it more, it had all just been a fake set-up
created by the work of the Cat God. Now I remembered what Emi
said as she prayed right in front of me.

‘—I wish that things will work out some way or another.’
That cat plush toy… It must have the same power as the Cat God. She
had muttered these words while tightly grasping it. Her wish pulled
Ponta towards us, established a solid and believable relationship,
and things worked out ‘Some way or another’. But, for Steel-san,
who hadn’t been present at that time, this wish didn’t work. When
she looked at the pictures, she told me what was wrong right away,
and because of that, I realized it myself.

Page | 108
It was actually awfully simple—yet scary at the same time. Because
of this, I had no way of guessing what else she could have wished for,
or what else she might wish for in the future. Maybe she doesn’t
know the risks of wishing to the Cat God, or maybe she doesn’t care.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. Like lightheartedly buying a porn
magazine at a festival two times a year, she continued to stack wish
upon wish upon wish.

She turned herself into a little sister, dotted the school with Italian
buildings, turned me into a prince, turned the school uniform into
swimsuits… I see four things here. However, there might be more
things she wished for going on in the background. Can we buy her
off? If not, someone has to take the risk. A porn magazine isn’t that
cheap. It’s actually pretty expensive. On top of that, the contents
might be unexpectedly disappointing. Wait, what were we talking
about again? Oh yeah, I wonder what Emi is thinking? No, before
that.

“Just who is Emi?”

“…Don’t play dumb.”

“Eh?”

“Even if she isn’t your friend’s little sister, she still knows you.”

Before I realized it, the meat-eating aggressive girl of a proud lion

had looked through several albums.

“I’ve found Emi as a human as well. In recent pictures. I found her as

a normal person.”

“…She’s actually on there?! Also, how did you check them so

quickly?! That’s gotta be a mountain!”

Page | 109
“With ease. I’m quite a fast reader when it comes to books. I’m
especially good at finding a man wearing red and white striped
clothes.”

I don’t think you can call ‘Where’s Waldo’ an actual book. But Mrs.
Assertive over here looked at me in expectation, so I gave up. I
moved a bit closer to her, and she showed me the picture in the
album like a cat showing off its prey. It was a picture from around
middle school. Around that time, the pictures grew fewer in number,
and I was just doing random things in all of them. In that collection,
right next to Ponta striking a cool pose was—

—The space monster Twintails, with big round eyes.

Emi wore a snow white cap and a gown, holding something like a toy
Bible in one hand. Behind her was stained glass and a crucifix, most
likely all part of an Italian school building. In her other hand she held
a huge rabbit. She and Ponta stood a bit away from each other,
almost like classmates who would soon grow closer.

“…Yeah, now I remember. I’ve met her before.”

The memories I had lost came back thanks to the picture, forming a
line in my mind.

“The girl who’s Italian by blood… I feel like she was a girl from a
choir.”

“A choir? That’s quite rare.”

“I feel like Yaji-san was the one who led to our meeting…”

It was back during our middle school days. After chasing after the
adventurous rabbit, who would constantly leave the house, Ponta in
Wonderland (and myself following him) were running through the
streets in search of that lousy animal. And one day, the rabbit just

Page | 110
happened to end up at a church. On your average Sunday, during
your average mass. I somewhat remember the choir singing a song I
might or might not remember, that’s buried somewhere in the back
of my mind. My memories from last night’s dinner are already hazy.
An imaginary scent of lilac filled my nose, but vanished quickly.

“Somewhere, somehow, something, huh? That’s pretty vague.”

“I was never too close with her, because I was busy chasing other
girls. She was always playing with Ponta, too. This is a story from
several years ago, so I don’t remember everything very well.”

“Why is this girl, who was never too attached to you, suddenly so
focused on you now?”

“Who knows…?” I had no idea myself.

Since I wouldn’t have remembered Emi either way if we hadn’t

looked at the photo albums, I can’t exactly explain why she would
suddenly appear out of nowhere. I don’t think the reason lies with
me, either. If this is about Emi ten years in the future, then I might
just take responsibility, though.

“Well, Emi basically became Ponta’s little sister, so maybe she

wanted to spend some time with me now. There might be a lot of
confusing parts to this. We’ll just have to ask her about them all
later.”

“Hm?”

“Then we just have to get the girl from the choir to take back her
wish, and the grand finale ends.”

“Hm…”

Page | 111
We know the identity of the perpetrator. Though a lot of things are
still clad in darkness, if this was a mystery novel, we would be near
the end. Even if this was a galgame, all I would have to do is be close
with Emi and build flags to get on her route. Now I’ll just use King
Crimson6 to skip ahead ten years to the epilogue and the newlywed
lifestyle, and let the credits roll!

“Hmmm…”

…And yet, all I could hear was a lion’s growl. Steel-san knelt down on
the carpet, crossing her arms.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well. I have to admit that I’m a clever person, you see.”

“Eh?”

“Hm?”

“N-No, please continue.”

“It’s about Emi. There’s something that doesn’t quite sit right with
me. I have the best logic and reasoning, and I also am the most
beloved in this world—”

“Eh?”

“Hm?”

“No, nothing…”

“Why do you keep interrupting me?!”

I was scolded by her with a straight face. I guess I need to play along
with her make-believe. The clever and most logical Steel-san cleared
her throat.

Page | 112
“As far as things stood yesterday, I thought that Emi was in some
way related to the Tsutsukakushi Household. If not, how would she
have found out about the family’s Cat God? However, if she is a
friend of yours instead…”

“A friend of Ponta’s.”

“If she is Ponta’s friend, then someone completely unrelated to me

has prayed to the Cat God, and drawn parts of Italy towards me. Is
that really just a coincidence? That logic doesn’t sit right with me…”
The sigh that followed these words was followed by a long silence.

No matter how you think about it, Ponta’s friend, the cat god, and
Italy all have nothing in common. There were pieces missing from
this puzzle. It’s probably something happening in the shadows,
unbeknownst to us. As long as they don’t show themselves, we have
no chances of solving this unfair game.

Evening arrived, and Steel-san reluctantly said that she’d have to

make her way home with a troubled expression on her face.

“I wanted to have a proper talk with the older Yokodera brother, but
he just vanished off somewhere. I hope nothing happened…”

“…Ah.”

I totally forgot! That’s what had been bothering me! In a panic, I took
out my smartphone.

“D-Ding ding ding!”

“What was that?”

“Ahh, I just got an email from my older brother, and he said that his
relatives in Andromeda had some urgent business and that he won’t
be coming home today. He told me to give you his thanks!”

Page | 113
“Was there any reason to make the sound of an incoming email with
your mouth?” Steel-san gave it a bit of thought. “…Today’s
technological progress is something to look out for, I guess. Also,
Yokodera does not need to thank me. I would gladly help my
brother-in-law at any time.” Her smile was like a blooming flower.

Seriously? I could probably deceive her enough to dance samba at

midnight, wearing panties on her head. This time I’ll just ignore it,
though. I would have loved to correct her on this whole ‘Older
brother’ part, but I won’t, for my own sake. I went down the stairs,
put on my sandals, and saw Steel-san off from the porch.

“Here is fine… Ahh, thank you once again for the donation. I’ve found
another family treasure to devote my faith towards.”

“Stop it!”

In the end, she took three pictures with her. Maybe she likes
gathering pictures of people who are young. Who knows?

“But I have to repay this kindness in some way or I won’t be able to

sleep well. I know, would you like some of my treasured photographs
of Tsukiko, by any chance?”

“W-What kind of pictures are we talking about? Pictures of her

sleeping? Or even sneezing? D-Drooling?!”

“Very well. I see that you are climbing up the ranks. I have a
spectacular photograph where a dragonfly has landed on her nose.”

“You have my most humble gratitude!”

Correction: Gathering pictures of people when they’re young is super

fun. This marks the tenth trade of the Tsukiko-chan Syndicate. I
thought we were done for when I accidentally leaked the location of
that mezzanine floor.

Page | 114
“I want to thank you, as well. Thanks to you, I have a plan of attack.”

“Ah, are you talking about this Emi girl?”

Beneath the setting sun in the sky, Steel-san spoke quite

indifferently.

“Tell this to your older brother. Rather than trying to face her head
on and hear her intentions, striking her weak point to force her to
surrender might be more effective.”

“What do you mean?”

“That you might burn your hands if you make a frontal attack.”

“Okay?”

“Although she might look young, I feel like she has quite a grotesque
personality hidden beneath that facade.”

For just a moment, it felt like this was a meeting for the track-and-
field club, and she returned to a serious and stern expression.
Though she ended it with ‘That’s what my womanly senses are telling
me,’ a statement with barely any credibility, so there’s that.

…Now even Steel-san is saying things like that? Emi’s smile still looks
100% perfect to me, though.

That night, I had a dream.

A young boy and girl were leaning against the other, having a
conversation. The girl was from a foreign country, and her hair was
bound up to her sides. She was with an energetically-laughing middle
school student. I knew both of them. These two had been close ever
since they met. The places they visited… seemed to be a church on
your average Sunday, as well as a shrine during a festival, as well as a
Page | 115
public pool overflowing with swimsuits. There might have even been
the crowd at an airport. The dream had no logical connection
between these places.

“Um, um, Onii-chan. A promise.” The girl, even younger than she was
now, whispered.

She carried a big rabbit in her slender arms. Sorrowful in the face of
this parting, she handed away the pet she loved so much.

“Once I come back, we’ll look at your high school and go to a festival
together. Emi won’t forget, no matter what. So you can’t forget
about Emi either, okay?”

Their fingers intertwined in a pinky promise, they put their words

together, and the memory of the dream ended. The two of them
were really close. But—what about me? Where am I in this scene?
Even though I saw these conversations happen. The church, the
shrine, the pool, the airport… Yet I was nowhere to be found. I
wonder why? When I strained my eyes to look, a voice reverberated
inside this world. It was an ominous, sinister laugh. My field of view
was drowned out by this sound, sending me flying.

Even though fall was fully underway, I woke up drenched in sweat.

This is a story from the following Monday. Tsutsukakushi didn’t come

to pick me up, which caused me to oversleep a bit. I quickly made my
way towards school on my bike, where I ran into Ponta. Of course,
considering the fact that our paths to school overlapped, that wasn’t
what bothered me. Instead, the confusing part of it all was Ponta’s
appearance. He wasn’t even wearing his uniform, but rather his
sleeping attire. His hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere like grass
on a prairie.

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“What are you doing? We have classic literature first thing in the
morning. You’ll get an earful from Fuku-chan if you’re late.”

“I was waiting for you. I was wondering if you could help me out.”

I stopped my bike beside a pylon at the children’s park, blinking at

Ponta. He looked like he hadn’t gotten much sleep, and bags were
beneath his eyes.

“There’s things more important than heading to school in this

world!”

“Yeah yeah yeah. I think that going to Africa on a bike will only break
your bones, though.”

“No! I plan on going there eventually, but I first have to earn some
money, okay? But with all the preparations for the sports festival, I
have no time whatsoever, and at the end of last week, I brought
home the grass from the Mafia Club.”

“Ahhh, that barely legal club with no applicants…”

“And ever since then, I’ve lost sight of Yaji-san. You know, Yaji-san,
my rabbit7.”

When this word suddenly appeared, my face froze up. But Ponta was
too busy looking around our surroundings, so he didn’t seem to
notice.

“She might have run away because of the smell of the grass I brought
home. This is the second night she’s been gone now. I know that she
loves running away, but she’s getting older now. I can’t even sleep
properly like this. That’s why I’ve been looking for her this entire
time.”

“…I see. And?”

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“I’m planning on going around looking in places she might be hiding,
so could you tell the teacher that I’m sick today? And if possible,
search around the school in case she’s somewhere around there.”

“Got it. I’ll be going on ahead, then.” I nodded, trying to act as

natural as possible. “By the way, speaking of Yaji-san, wasn’t there a
girl from a choir a long time ago that we met through Yaji-san?”

“I ain’t got no memories nor emotional attachment to that. I mean, I

remember meeting someone because of Yaji-san, but as for how
they looked… I don’t remember at all. My head’s full of Yaji-san right
now. Anyway, I’m counting on you, Yokonoji!” Ponta waved his hand
at me as he left.

During the classes of classical literature (Fuku-chan) and

mathematics 2b (Moustache Daruma), I thought about the
connection between Emi and Ponta, as well as Yaji-san. From my
window seat, the fall sunlight caused the pattern on the curtains to
make an odd shadow. Inside the notebook on the top of my desk,
oddly enough, were neither the Tales of Genji nor completed
numbers nor new spats swimsuit designs, but rather drawings of the
space monster, mini Ponta, and the rabbit.

Emi had been Ponta’s friend. Even in my unreliable memories I feel

like he spoiled her quite a bit. At the same time, Emi was focused on
Yaji-san. Even in my unreliable memories they were acting like
friends. And now that she’s appeared in the present, she has once
again taken the position of Ponta’s spoiled little sister. Not to
mention that Yaji-san ran away again. When Emi appeared, the
rabbit vanished.

These two might be related in some way—or is it safe to assume that

Emi somehow caused Yaji-san to vanish? After all, she’s the type of
person who’d wish for anything she sees fit. And even if Yaji-san’s
disappearance isn’t related to her, I’m still worried. It’s comparable
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to the worry I felt when I put a sticker that read ‘NHK Morning News’
on a recording from a late-night show and left it on my older sister’s
desk in her room.

Either way, where did Yaji-san run off to—and how do you even look
for a runaway rabbit?

“…Ah!”

When I thought this, I froze in place, my pen no longer writing. Isn’t

there someone who’s perfectly suited to help me look for a rabbit?
It’s like I’m the Protagonist in Troubleland.

Azuki Azusa:

Her love for animals could even rival Yokodera-kun’s admiration of

swimsuits. Even if she hated me, if I bring up the story of a lost
rabbit, she just might help me out. On top of that, this is a request
from Ponta, as well. Indeed, this is flawless logic right here. Feeling
excited, I started fiddling around with the pen in my fingers.

…If anything, I might have just been looking for a chance to talk to
Azuki Azusa again.

Third period was the class of the head of the student year, who was
always strict against absence.

“But when I feel like skipping, that’s what I’ll do, so let the teacher
know.”

“Understood. Invite me next time. I’ll follow you to the ends of the
world.”

I was seen off by the incredibly friendly vice club president as I

headed to the sixth building. The floor above the cafeteria had been

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converted into a cafe with a technology room and a calligraphy
room, and that was exactly where I was heading. Pictures of foreign,
important-looking people lined the walls in every direction, and the
sinks had carvings in them. I slipped into the Italy-fied home
economics room.

“Prince-kun, what are you doing?”

“A diver?”

“Did you come here to play?”

“Yup! It’s a secret, though!”

“My, it can’t be helped then!”

“Wahoo!”

“How exciting!”

The swimsuit-wearing girls—Azuki Azusa’s classmates—caught sight

of me. Sheltered by the snickering girls, I snuck through the shadows
beneath the sinks. Thanks to the information network of girls that I
have, I now know that the best time period to sneak into Azuki
Azusa’s class to investigate is right before breakfast. I could even
make it a daily event. My future dream is to become a detective at a
detective agency who specializes in investigating girls.

“…So is my class going to be doing this lesson next week as well…?”

On the blackboard, it read ‘Win the heart of your boyfriend or

girlfriend at the sports festival with one simple trick! Let’s make
some lovey-dovey lunch boxes! (Heart)’. I knew that the home
economics teacher was very considerate of their students, but this
sounds more like something my grandma would say. Even if I don’t
count the teacher, all the girls are wearing aprons on top of their
swimsuits. This is a scene you’d normally have to pay lots of money
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to see. At this rate, our school might actually be closed down to
prevent this sort of thing from going on any longer.

When I started looking here and there in this wonderful sight, I

happened to spot a certain girl washing dishes at a nearby sink. Like
she wanted to rebel against the school rules, she was still wearing
the normal school uniform. Indeed, Azuki Azusa was the same as
usual. Maybe because she transferred in during our second year, and
the fact that she had acted like a rich lady with her ‘reward time,’ but
she didn’t quite fit in. Or that might just have been the influence of a
certain perverted puppy who followed her around before summer
break.

Either way, the root of the problem was her looks. She has an
impressive quantity of presence. She’s elegant and dazzling. She’s an
unattainable flower nobody dared to approach. Even now, just by
wearing an apron, she gave off a distinguished aura. Though she
starts crying immediately when you prod her. She only had to play
along and everything would be fine.

Then again, starting this term, she stopped being driven to school in
the black car (which was driven by her mother Mrs. Azuki), so she’s
slowly starting to fit into her surroundings. Azuki Azusa isn’t alone
anymore. At the very least, she has no reason to choose being alone.
There’s people like her in the same class. There’s a girl with three
braids next to her washing dishes. Even though they have nothing to
talk about, it feels like I’m watching a grade school love story unfold.

“Alright…”

I could tell that Azuki Azusa was tense about this. You can do it,
puppy! Muster up the courage you need. I’ll always support you
whenever or wherever, even from the shadows of the curtains,
beneath your bed, or from the bathroom ceiling.

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“U-Um, Azuki-san, I was wondering who you’re making this lunch box
for…”

The girl with the three braids was the first to muster up the courage
to speak. Welp, whatever.

“W-Well, I haven’t decided yet.”

I could tell that Azuki Azusa was nervous just from the increased
volume of her voice.

“There are hyenas out there who would pay good money for this, so I
don’t see a reason to choose? Ah, no, not that… There isn’t… really
anyone who would take this lunch box of mine… so I guess I’ll just
throw it away.”

She started to get on a high horse for a second, but quickly calmed
down again. This is bad. She can’t shake off the image of her being a
rich and noble lady now! She doesn’t know how to talk to her
classmates! This is so awkward!

“I see…”

The girl with braids made a troubled smile in return, but continued
after a short pause.

“Why not give it to your pet Yokodera Prince-kun? You might look
like an owner and a dog at school, but I was wondering if you’re
girlfriend and boyfriend at home, or even the reverse dog and
owner! Just kidding!”

I almost burst out coughing when I heard those words. That girl is
taking quite the initiative!

“…No, that’s just a misunderstanding. It’s really not like that.”

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“I thought you were a good match. That’s a shame. I was wondering
when you would start dating.”

“Again, you’re wrong. They say a true mandarin duck is a cheater,

right? You shouldn’t listen to other people.”

“A-Ah, I’m sorry. I said something weird.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I don’t have anybody I like, either…”

Azuki Azusa lifted her head from the sink.

Her gaze wandered around the place, then it happened to meet

mine.

“—Eh?”

She froze in place, and the cup in her hand dropped to the floor.
Dang it, this has to be the worst possible timing!

“—Eyy Mother! The heavens scream, the earth screams! People

scream! And it doesn’t matter who was screaming! Azuki Azusa, your
mandarian duck pet came with a request!”

“Kyaaaaaaaa?! H-How long?! How long have you been here?!”

I tried to look cool when I stood up, but instead I got hit with a frying
pan. What kind of aggressive reaction is that?!

“You over there! What are you doing?!”

A raging voice came from near the blackboard, probably the

grandma. But, as of right now, Prince-kun is invincible. Blah blah
yadda yadda, I came here to talk to my owner and all that, but…

“Tell me about such a romance earlier! Watching a school romance

unfold is a great way to stay young!”

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Even Grandma supported me, though I didn’t understand what she
was saying. However, Azuki Azusa didn’t miss the opportunity this
short time frame allowed. She threw away the apron, slipped
through the opened door, and ran down the empty hallway. This
damned puppy sure is fast! I gave my regards to the girls and the
teacher and chased after her.

The only parts of our school that had been conformed to the Italian
style were the exterior of the buildings. It was as if a young girl had
merely imagined how Italy looked from pictures. It all only looked
good superficially. This school’s main attraction was merely the
surface of it, and the interior looked exactly like your average school.
Though, as if the interior of pamphlets of buildings had turned into
reference material for them, there were some things changed even
inside the buildings.

For example, there were portraits decorating the classrooms in the

sixth building, and there was a clock tower on top of the seventh
building. There was even the third building that had turned into a
cathedral.

“W-What is this?!”

While chasing Azuki Azusa, I passed the courtyard with the water
fountain and dodged between the pillars beneath the clocktower.
When we entered the third building, which contained the cooking
room and the PE preparation room, her feet came to a halt. The
hallway had turned into a giant entrance with rows of columns for
the cathedral. Here and there I could see giant-sized iron doors, most
likely either doors to different classrooms or doors that led to
hallways. I had no idea upon seeing them for the first time. I imagine
the other students must have a lot of trouble finding their way
around.

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That being said, the girl glanced back towards me and then
continued using the laws of magnet polarity to start dashing away
from me once more, barging into the nearest possible door. By the
way, in case you are wondering how lucky Azuki Azusa is, she’s really
the type of person who pulls ‘Terrible Luck’ during her first shrine
visit of the year. When we were playing the game of life at the
Tsutsukakushi Household, she was always the one who’d roll terribly
right off the starting line and end up in debt. If you ever want to see
her cry, I recommend that strategy. So when you consider this low
luck stat, the door she chose would have to be a wrong one.

“Uuuuu… Why…?!”

When I followed her through the door, I found myself in a chapel

with a tall ceiling. In other words, the dead end of the PE preparation
room. During this time, it was stacked full of giant balls, sticks, and
scoreboards all in preparation for the sports festival.

“Ohh…?”

I could hear her groaning, and when I glanced around, I saw that
Azuki Azusa had been caught and tied up by a net and had fallen
over.

“No! Get away! Leave me alone!”

“Um…”

“This… What is this…?! Don’t bother me! Leave me alone already!”

Today’s main event, ladies and gentlemen: The barking puppy vs. the
obstacle race net. The more she panicked and resisted, the tighter
the net caught her limbs, until she was completely wrapped up in it
like a sushi roll. I guess Azuki Azusa can even lose against an
inorganic enemy like that…

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I started slowly trying to approach her.

“P-Prepare yourself! You won’t get away if you do anything cruel to

me!” The net roll bared her fangs.

She did everything she could to strengthen her body, making it

bigger than it seemed and trying to create a sense of intimidation,
but now she just looks like a puffer fish. Even when I came closer and
tried to free her, she used her teeth to try and bite me, so I grabbed
her shoulders.

“Kyaaaaa?!”

She still panicked like a fish on a cutting board and fell over.

“…Let me help you, Azuki Azusa. I won’t do anything cruel to you. I’m
trying to free you.” I scratched my cheek and crouched down next to
her.

I’ve read in many magazines what sorts of things you can do to a

restrained girl like this. In reality, the kind approach of holding hands
and doing it together would be ideal. The corners of the net had
ended up quite tangled, and I could tell it would take some time to
free her. I could hear a whistle as well as cheering from the sports
grounds outside, and from a different direction came the loud
sounds of the bells ringing.

Though it was surrounded by sounds on every side, it felt like this

chapel was isolated from the rest of the world, filled with pure
silence.

“Why…?” A faint voice came from Azuki Azusa. “Why… Why are you
always doing weird things like this…?”

“I really think you can’t blame me for what happened this time! It’s
because you’ve been acting weird!”

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“I didn’t do anything! I was living my student life naturally like a
natural chicken, and then you just suddenly started chasing me.”

“You weren’t even aware of it?! The instant you see me, you start
running away, but you’re always hanging around nearby. Just now I
had to chase you across the whole school to even get close to you!
How is this natural?”

“Uuuuu… Y-You’re wrong! I was just looking for the toilet! I just
happened to have some circumstances, and you just happened to be
in my line of sight!”

“Let’s stop with this farce, okay? I just want us to be like we were
before.”

When I think about it, it’s been quite some time since I’ve managed
to calmly talk with Azuki Azusa like this. I mean, setting aside the fact
that I’m using her current situation to do so, or that I’ve been chasing
her around. But, being frank, I was trying to be optimistic. As long as
you talk to people, you’ll get through to them. No matter what kind
of misunderstanding there may be, no matter how complicated it
may be, it’ll always work out. If I put my feelings into words and talk
with her, the Azuki Azusa Problem will soon be a problem no longer.
I was optimistic the whole time, and I realized something else a bit
too late.

“I wasn’t running away.”

“You were.”

“I wasn’t glaring at you.”

“You were.”

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“Shut up, shut up, shut up! I wasn’t running away, I wasn’t glaring at
you! I was just… the same as always!” She put odd pauses between
her words in her sentences.

I thought something was off, so when I took a closer look at her, I

was baffled.

“Just… I just… don’t want to be too close to you, okay!”

Drops of her tears fell to the ground, and Azuki Azusa broke out in
tears.

We quickly ran out of tissues. When I took the baseball cap out of my
pocket and carelessly handed it over, Azuki Azusa folded it and
buried her face inside, blowing her nose.

Ah, so she thinks this is actually another tissue… Well, I guess the
baseball cap can be happy now that it’s being turned into a mess by a
girl like Azuki Azusa. I wouldn’t mind trading places with it, to be
honest.

“Have you finally calmed down?”

I gave up on freeing her from the oddly effective net, and instead
joined her inside it. I sat down next to Azuki Azusa and looked
around at the PE preparation room from the same angle as her. We
were surrounded by majestic religious paintings, and we stayed
silent, our breathing slowly starting to match rhythm. It felt like our
bodies were starting to become one. It made me feel like we were
left behind in some empty space station. Probably because this room
was so disconnected from the rest of the world.

Azuki Azusa’s tears apparently had stopped, but from time to time
she would let out a sniff, and her body twitched. Her shoulders were
next to mine.

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“…Thank… you…”

“It’s fine.”

“Um… you know…”

“Yeah.”

“It’s true that I was trying to act normal. It’s not my problem what
kind of relationship you have with Tsutsukakushi-senpai.”

After a long silence, the words finally started flowing out of her
mouth.

“But when I thought that I couldn’t allow myself to get too close, I
always kept a certain level of distance.”

“Why?”

“Because that would hurt… T-Tsutsukakushi-senpai, like I’m a

porcupine.”

“If anything, Steel-san is the type of person who’d nibble on a

porcupine, wash it down with a tall cool glass of nails, and then take
a good nap.”

“…If you tell her that to her face, she’d probably eat you.” Azuki
Azusa let out a faint giggle, which made me feel a bit relieved.

“But I felt like I couldn’t be too far away from you, I was afraid that I
would lose you, and I searched for you, but I thought I would cause
trouble for you if I was too close, even though I just had to know
where you were, so I searched for you, but I thought that being too
close to you would hurt you, so I was swimming in circles like a
manta ray…”

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“That sure sounds troublesome,” I giggled. “There’s no need to do all
that, though. She doesn’t want to be close with Yokodera Youto. She
just mistook me for someone else and dropped that bomb on me.”

“…Really? But then…”

“I thought everything would end well if I cleared up the

misunderstanding. I tried doing so countless times, but… Also, I
thought I told you about that in the letter I wrote.”

“A letter?” Azuki Azusa sounded like she didn’t know what I was
talking about.

“The letter I put into your locker, like some old-fashioned drama,
with the shiba inu stamp on it.”

“I don’t know about that. I’ve never seen it. Maybe you put it in the
wrong locker?”

“Th-That’s impossible!”

The words from my heart that were overflowing with my passionate

feelings might have been read by someone else, she says…? Urgh,
I’m getting a bad feeling from this. If anything, I’d love it if an
expressionless Kouhai of mine with glasses and black stockings would
read it. Huh? I feel like my tastes and fetishes are getting slightly
twisted? I wonder whose fault this is…

“—Wait, that’s not important! There’s really no need to be

considerate of anyone else, Azuki Azusa!”

“Yeah… If I had read the letter, I might have thought this over, but…”
Azuki Azusa shook her head.

Her long, wavy hair shook with this motion, tickling my ears as it hit
me.

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“I still think that getting too close to you isn’t good.”

“…Why?”

“Tsutsukakushi-senpai’s misunderstanding might stop being one

eventually… No, not just Senpai, anybody else as well—” Her hair
shook again.

I kept my lips shut and waited for what she would say next, but
instead I only received a cough in response.

“Hey, was ‘Mermaid Princess Gamera’ interesting?”

“Huh?”

I let out a dumbfounded voice when she suddenly changed the

subject. Azuki Azusa, Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko, and I would often lend
books to each other. I would mostly lend out books from Oscar
Wilde, of course, Azuki Azusa contributed some of her favorite
manga, whereas Tsutsukakushi lent us novels based on movies. Just
recently, Azuki Azusa had lent me ‘Mermaid Princess Gamera’ up to
the final volume. It’s the sequel to ‘Princess Gamera’, and it’s a story
where the evil sorcerer attacks her with a sea pig beam only for her
to rise up as a princess. It’s an exhilarating and peerless romcom
action series!

“The prince is my favorite character in that series. I love how he

always chooses the princess.” Azuki Azusa narrowed her eyes while
she recalled the story. “But that only happens in manga. If there’s a
prince in this world, he’s everyone’s prince. He’s kind to everyone,
friendly with everyone, and more and more people end up around
him. Two, three, four, five—Even if we get close enough for me to
treat you like a pet, I always understood that I could never become a
princess. I know it sounds ridiculous, but…”

“That’s why I can’t approach you anymore than that,” she said.
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She wrapped up her monologue just like that and directed her gaze
towards the far end of the PE preparation room. A painting there
showed a priest carrying the cross on his back while all the citizens
around him showered him with affection.

“Hold on, I don’t really get what’s going on here…”

“You don’t have to. If anything, I’d be troublesome if you did. This is
just my own problem, for my own convenience.”

“That’s not good enough. Please tell me. I have to understand. What
do you… um… What kind of princess do you want to be? In what
country?”

Azuki Azusa stared at the priest in the picture and opened her mouth
only to close it again. She let out a sigh as she tightly embraced the
baseball cap, treating it like it was some treasure.

“I forgot.” She shook her head several times, but that was the only
answer she gave.

“You forgot?”

Those words aren’t enough. They lack everything. We can’t

communicate with monologues in our world. If we don’t use our
voices to transfer our words, nothing will end. Didn’t I tell you all
about that, Azuki Azusa?

“…I always wanted to make up with you. I’m sad if I can’t be close to
you. Let’s just stop with that nonsense about being too close and
that forcing you to stay away and all that. Let’s go back to how we
were before.”

Since she had stopped talking, I decided to speak up as many times

as it would take. I want my feelings to reach Azuki Azusa. So I looked
at her. I looked at the profile that I wanted to look at me in return.

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But she wouldn’t do so. She kept staring at the drawing in the
distance.

“…If you show me proof of your sincerity, I don’t mind.”

“Sincerity? How?”

“For example… I know. In the shoujo manga I read a while ago, the
evil prince is reformed, and he kindly—”

This is like a rehash of the words I had heard over the phone right
before summer break ended. Only one thing was different. The
resident of this real world who loves manga dearly abruptly stopped
there and gave a vague smile.

“Kindly—shook hands with a village girl during one scene.”

By the time we finally got out from under the net, the giant bells
outside were ringing again.

“Lunch break is going to be over soon…” My stomach complained

with a grumble, and Azuki Azusa let out a giggle.

“You’re like Tsutsukakushi-san.”

“She makes sounds like that?!”

“From time to time, when it’s just the two of us. Whenever she feels
comfortable, I guess. That makes her look really cute… Ah, what’s
with that face?! Keep this a secret, okay?!”

“I won’t. Not unless I get a full stomach! Urgh… I’m craving a

homemade boxed lunch now…”

“…Even a starving wolf wouldn’t threaten me like that. If a certain

someone hadn’t burst into the home economics class, I might have

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finished one… Ah, hey.” Azuki Azusa looked a bit confused as she
looked at me. “Did you go through all that effort just so that you
could make up with me?”

“—Ah. No! Right! Ponta!” I slapped my forehead.

I had completely forgotten to talk with her about what had started it
all: Emi. On our way to the school cafeteria, I explained what
happened. About Emi’s appearance, about how she’s been leading us
around, and about how Yaji-san had disappeared.

“Huh.” She muttered. “Idiotic. I’m sure that girl doesn’t know.
Wishes like that don’t change anything—they didn’t change
anything.”

“Eh… Did you wish for something?”

“Something. I wished for a new me.”

“A-And what happened?”

“As you can see, nothing happened at all. I think it didn’t reach God
at all,” Azuki Azusa smiled cheerfully.

But that can’t be possible. Knowing that Cat God, it would always
fulfill a wish like that. With the gaze of a researcher, I stared at Azuki
Azusa carefully. Immediately, I caught onto something so small that
any normal person wouldn’t notice. The caldera on her body had
started to change into a tiny valley…?!

“How could this happen?!”

“Kyaa?! W-What happened?!”

“This is the surrendering of your identity! A loss of independence!

Are you really fine with that?! I mean, don’t mind me, I think it’s
great, but are you fine with that, Azuki Azusa?!”

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“…I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I still feel insulted.”

Next to the astonished human researcher (me), Azuki Azusa took out
her smartphone, and started taking a memo.

“I understand what you want me to do. Do you have a picture of Yaji-

san, by any chance? If so, please send it to me. A stray rabbit is a rare
thing, so if I ask the stray dogs around, they should be able to find
her in two to three days. You can rest assured.” And then she flashed
a great smile like a girl raised in the mountains.

But wait just a second. This young lady actually said something
exactly like a girl who had been raised in the mountains.

“Um… you’re going to ask the dogs?”

“Yup, in dog language. If I say ‘Woof, woof!’ they’ll all respond to me.
I’ve been training for it every day!”

“I see. Yeah. That sounds fun… You must be having fun…”

Azuki Caldera was too much of a shock for me. It seems I’m hearing
things now. I mean, dog language? Basically, this young lady with no
friends whatsoever, has evolved into an alien who has achieved the
skills necessary to be bilingual. I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear any of
that.

“I feel like you’re thinking something rude about me again. Do you

understand that you’re the one who came to ask me for help?”

“Sorry, sorry. Goddess, Buddha, Azuki-sama! As a token of my

gratitude, I will create Azuki Shrines all over the country! I’ll create
an object of worship for you! If you touch it in special places, it will
be filled (with hope), raise (children) and it (feelings) will grow! What
a marvelous idea! Let’s all touch the Azuki Shrine!”

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“…Pervert. Super pervert. Yatagarasu8 pervert!” She spoke with blank
eyes, but she immediately started laughing.

Up until now, she would change suddenly, but naturally. If you threw
her a fast ball, she wouldn’t get flustered, and she wouldn’t try to
swing back for fear of missing. Now, though, she just smiled
normally, as if she had both honest feelings and a facade. To me, that
was something surprising, and I’m glad we had managed to make up
with a handshake. But something with unpleasant taste, like a lump
of coal, was left in my mouth.

Before I could voice this discomfort, Azuki Azusa shook her head and
poked at my flank—almost like you would a newly-found friend.

“I’ll help you out as much as I can. But I still think you can just ask
this Emi girl directly. ‘What do you want to do, anyway? What are
you thinking about?’ Questions like that.”

“I thought about that, but I’m worried if I’ll get an actual answer or
not.”

“She’s the girl who was at the sports grounds on Saturday, right? She
looked like an honest, innocent girl to me.”

“Eh? Really?”

“It didn’t seem that way to you? I’d feel bad if you treated her like a
skank.”

“Hmm. It’d be great if that were true. You’re the only one who’s had
that opinion so far, Azuki Azusa.”

“Everyone is just thinking too deeply into it. Even if she is a girl who
does bad things, she’s not a bad girl by any means.” Azuki Azusa
spoke with a bright voice, but she came to a stop as she remembered
something. “I’m sorry, I had plans for this lunch break already.”

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“Understood. Then let’s look for Yaji-san together after school
today? I’ll help you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. You go do whatever you can,
and I’ll do the same. See you later, Yokodera-kun.” She flashed a
good-natured smile like a village girl and waved her hand as she left.

Her silhouette was fully swallowed up by the darkness of the

clocktower, right beneath the pillars. Like an otherworldly person
walking off into the night world, she kept waving her hand without
looking back at me.

…I really wanted to eat lunch with her, though.

I was thinking about all sorts of things, and classes came to an end in
a flash. I went looking for Azuki Azusa, but apparently she had
already gone on the wild huge rabbit chase. Wondering what to do
instead, even though I had already arrived at the conclusion, I
lingered around the bike racks. That’s when it happened.

“Youto-onii-chan!”

“Wha?!”

Before I could react, a diving body press from a certain space

monster came crashing down on me. If I had to guess, it was
probably born from an elaborate simulation as well as sloppy
inspiration. It was quite the exquisite collaboration. The sense of
balance to run halfway up the chain fence, the timing to aim for the
target, the angle to send her body flying, the height, the direction,
and the courage to not back down. No matter how you looked at it,
this was a technique that no one could replicate. A fully perfected

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attack. The only thing she hadn’t considered was what would happen
after she brought me down to the ground.

“Gaaaah?!”

“Unununu?!”

I was pummeled by a jump kick with about 26.6kg behind it. The only
people who’d be able to withstand this would probably be a trained
pro wrestler or a trained pro lolicon. Coincidentally, I had been
trained in both worlds before, and I was an aspiring newcomer, so I
managed to hold Emi on top of my head as I stomped my feet on the
ground.

“Ohhhh!” Emi let out a voice like she was riding an attraction at an
amusement park. “This time is a success, then! Heehee!”

“You can’t just trust someone else for something ridiculous like this!”

“…It’s Emi’s power to believe, and Onii-chan’s power to withstand

this belief! It’s a perfect harmony!”

“I’m the only one who worked hard for it!”

“Good boy, good boy!” Emi finally calmed down as she sat on the
shoulders of her designated steed.

A sweet scent arrived at my nose, giving me a sense of relief for

some reason. When she took a peek down at my face, she grinned,
saying “I’m happy to meet you here!” with her usual 100% perfect
smile. She thinks she’s going to be forgiven just because of this smile.
Well, she’s completely right.

“Perfect timing. I wanted to talk to you about something. Did you

come here to stroll around the school again?”

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“Heehee, yep! I knew that the scary one isn’t here. What was it
called…? De…Declaring war while the demon is out!”

“…And who are you fighting?”

“Hey, more importantly, Onii-chan. Over here. You can see

something interesting here!” Emi grabbed the hair on my head,
steering me towards the sports grounds.

Stretching far from the flank of the west gate, there’s a grassy place
right between the ball net and a block wall right at the foot of the
high fence surrounding the sports grounds. This place was something
most people wouldn’t pay any attention to, and it was covered in
plastic sheets. Sitting on top of that, with a sketchbook in hand, was
a girl in a normal uniform, drawing.

“Tsu—”

“Shhh!”

Right when I went to call out to the girl, Emi stopped me. Still being
controlled by her, I entered the back of the fence and net, slowly
approaching.

“Hmm, hmm~ The swallow~ Can’t refuse~ the Prince~”

I heard calm but sloppy humming. She must be concentrating on

drawing. The hummingbird didn’t turn around. Since she couldn’t see
anybody around, she hummed as loud as she felt like.

“That is why~ La la la~ The Swallow~ Will stay with the Prince~ Until
winter~ Tralala~”

With my third degree as a Tsutsukakushi Connaisseur, I can cast my

own judgement on this. This song is naturally self-made, from the
lyrics to the rhythm to the interlude. A few days ago, I lent her a fairy

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tale ‘The Happy Prince’, written by Oscar Wilde, which tells the story
of a swallow and a noble prince, and it seems like she’s taken a great
liking to it. She even said she wanted to read it to the children at the
welfare institution.

“And then~ The two~ Went to meet God~ Tra la la, la la la la~”

But I really didn’t expect her to like it enough to create her own song.
She even tapped her hands on the sketchbook like she was playing
the drums, shaking her head left and right as she started humming
even more energetically. This is like how I saw her act before in her
kitchen. Is she like this every day at home, I wonder? Either way, I
decided to download this sight onto the memory card inside my
brain. Once I get home, I’ll have to put this into my Tsutsukakushi
record notebook.

When she gets married in the future, I’ll be able to show it to

everyone as a present. But just when I was thinking about this great
plan, I started to wonder where exactly I would stand during that
ceremony. For some reason, it felt that this was a more important
thought than just a side tangent, but I figured retreating now would
be more important, when—

“…Hm?” I strained my ears.

I heard a faint melody mixing in. But from where? From above my
head. From Emi’s mouth.

“~~~♪” A pure high-pitched tone, at a transparent, comfortable

volume.

The voice, able to lure in Tsutsukakushi, grew louder and louder. This
pure reverberation slowly changed Tsutsukakushi’s music into an
angelic melody.

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“……” Tsutsukakushi’s shoulders twitched, and she turned around,
but she didn’t say anything.

She couldn’t say anything. Most likely, just like me, she just felt like
listening to this heavenly concert. It was like your heart was being
cleansed, or even unpolluted. It held amazing power.

“~~~♪”

Emi slipped down from my shoulders and stood on the ground. She
put both her hands in front of her chest, raising her voice as if she
wanted it to reach to the sky. Her hair, glistering in the colour of the
Mediterranian sea, was complemented by her crystal-ball-like eyes.
It was unbalanced in a sense, yet also balanced with her small
stature. Her appearance and voice existed for each other’s sake,
expressing each other, decorating each other. It was like a beautiful
drawing of a fairy, created by God on the final day.

“—Tada!” She jumped up, and her song ended.

Until that signal, neither Tsutsukakushi nor me could move a muscle.

We didn’t even realize that we had been captivated by this concert.
All we could do was immerse ourselves in the lingering sound in our
ears.

“…A-Amazing! What was that just now?! You’re so good at singing!”

“Hehe! There’s a lot of people out there who are even better!”

I was so moved that I forgot to applaud. And, with her 100% angelic
smile, she pointed at Tsutsukakushi.

“But Tsuu-chan is totally the most tone-deaf person on the planet!”

“…Ah!”

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The space monster destroyed the mood instantly, with no remorse
whatsoever.

“There’s no Do no Re no Mi no Fa no So there! Gross! You have such

a beautiful voice, too! It’s such a shame!”

“……”

“In terms of the music world’s Picasso, you’re Dogra Magra9. It’s like
you’re the only flower in the world, but you’re a stinking corpse lily!”

“……” Tsutsukakushi didn’t utter a word.

Instead, she let Emi pull on her cheeks, observing her like a test
subject. Emi poked at her more and more.

“Woah! They’re stretching like crazy!”

She pulled them left and right and up and down, not knowing the
dangerous land she was treading towards. She just kept violating the
Yuki Onna-chan’s privacy.

“You’re tone-deaf even though your cheeks can move like this? How
weird! Just make sounds with your cheeks, then!”

“……”

“This is so much fun! I want half of these!”

—Stretch stretch, pull pull.

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Page | 143
Tsutsukakushi was played around with, not uttering a single word,
maintaining her deadpan face. With calm movement, she slowly
removed the girl’s fingers from her cheeks, gazing directly into Emi’s
eyes.

“I’ve told you before, Emanuella-san.”

“Hmm? Told me what?”

“My name is Tsutsukakushi.”

“Yup! That’s why you’re Tsuu-chan! Or would you rather be Kinoko-

chan? Ah, just call me ‘Emi’!”

“……..”

I feel like Tsutsukakushi’s emotions were telepathically transmitted

into my brain like an alien. She’s pissed as hell, that I can tell you for
sure.

“Emanuella-san. Let us assume that I am tone-deaf, for the sake of

argument…”

“There is nothing to assume there!”

“I can draw, I’m a good cook, I give good massages, especially around
the waist and legs. I’m often praised as being a utility player.”

“Emi can draw as well, and make rolled eggs! Wasshoi!”

“…I am really good at it. Much better than you are.”

“Hmmm?”

“That’s why, even if I were tone-deaf, no matter how small the

chance may be, that would still be fine. I have many other points
where I win hands-down.”
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“Really~? I wonder~?” Emi tilted her head as she thought, and
Tsutsukakushi stomped the ground in reply.

Or rather, she was grinding her foot into the ground. So had that I
could hear the grass making agonized screams below her. This was
the first time I’d ever seen this cool and collected girl get so angry (or
at least that’s what it feels like). I don’t know. It feels so childish to
me. After giggling to myself, I shook my head. She is a child after all. I
tend to forget since she can act like a grown-up Onee-san at times,
but Tsukiko-chan is an average girl below my age.

“I am older than you, a bit taller than you, and I have a better body
style. Even if, in a parallel universe, my skill as a singer might be
inferior, I’m still fine. I more than make up for it in other areas.”
Tsutsukakushi said, and she looked over at me for some reason.

I agree that she might be the victor in this battle, but she’s a high
school student comparing herself to a grade school student. You
know?

“But Tsuu-chan.”

“Tsutsukakushi.”

“I’m better at sports than you.” Emi said with an indifferent tone,
and grinned over at me for some reason.

That really is a mysterious variable to put in this equation. I don’t

understand why they would involve me in this battle.

“……” Tsutsukakushi stayed quiet for a brief moment, only to slowly

turn her gaze toward her enemy. “That is not true. If anything, I most
likely am better at sports than you.”

“I’m even better. I might beat you to a pulp if you’re not careful.”

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“I am even better than you are. We should be able to find out if we
have a proper competition.”

“Hehe, agreed! A battle it is, then!” Emi flashed a bright grin.

“I’ve been lured into a trap. She really is an evil girl.”

Since the door to the shower room remained shut for so long, I gave
it a quick knock, only to find Tsutsukakushi crouched down like a
pillbug. Quite a crowd had gathered around the poolside because of
how many people were practicing for the sports festival. As a side
note, this place had been transformed to look like Couple Island or
Coupling Island10 or whatever it’s called, and half of the outdoor pool
was covered by a low-hanging cave.

In one corner of the side that was illuminated by the sun, you would
find the popular tourist spot Tsutsukakushi Dumpling, who had
sworn never to wear a swimsuit in front of me not too long ago. She
rolled around on the ground, trying to hide in the shadows.

“I mean, you just got too much into it, right…?”

“That was all part of that evil girl’s plan. That laugh she made when
she brought up a swimming contest… Thinking back to it, she had the
face of an antlion looking at its prey.”

“I see.”

“You don’t understand how much you’re being deceived by that evil
girl.” She looked over at Emi, who was doing some stretches in
preparation. Other girls were playing with her, almost like she was
their pet.

Everyone is kind to a small girl like her. I think that’s why she’s so
happy right now. When she brought up the swimming contest, she
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looked like your average, innocent young girl. So much that I could
see her true personality, which was normally hidden behind her
100% smile.

“I don’t think she’s as much of a bad girl as you make her out to be.”

“…Because you only carry her on your shoulders.”

“You think so?”

“That’s right. I did say I would allow you to enjoy this world, but I told
you to not be clingy with any other girl, and especially not her. Do
you understand what I’m saying? You do, right?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“That girl is no good. Absolutely not. Do you understand? You do?

Perfect.”

“I’m sorry…”

Since my aspiration is to become the dog of Pavlov’s house and lick

butter, what Tsutsukakushi was saying did not make any sense to
me.

“Ah, right. I actually know who’s to blame for this world.”

“…I’m sorry. I heard it from Nee-san. I might have to apologize to

Senpai for what I said before.”

Like a perfect mimic of me, she lowered her head. And then, as if she
had made up her mind, she got up.

“But, for now, I have to defeat this girl. I will be the one who wins.”

She stretched her back, grabbed her navy blue protection

(kickboard), and headed to the pool like a warrior into battle. I

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thought she looked pretty cool, so I quickly took a picture to keep
this moment for the future.

The competition was to be a 50m freestyle race, with the one who
reached the end the fastest crowned as the winner. Tsutsukakushi
wore the school swimsuit that was still regarded as the school
uniform. Emi was wearing a normal one-piece swimsuit. Since I was
the judge, I was wearing an average uniform. The two warriors, clad
in swimsuits, readied themselves at the beginning of the course,
exchanging quick glances only to look ahead.

“——”

“……”

These two didn’t need to say anything else. The silence changed the
world around us, and the place had turned into a war zone. The
sweat dripping down from my body fell to the ground, announcing
the impending struggle to the death.

“I see that you’re both good to go. Ready, set—Goooo!” I gave the
signal.

The two warriors jumped into the water. Water splashed

everywhere, the atmosphere shook, and a commotion started.

—It was a great competition. The End.

I mean, normally I would try to use my deep understanding of

language to give a detailed depiction of this heated and bloody
battle, right? I bet you all were waiting for that as well. Even I
couldn’t help but gulp out of anticipation. For the first ten seconds,
that is.

As for the school swimsuit warrior—

“…Puwahh…Glub—”
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I heard her gasping for air, and along with sounds of drowning, she
sank right to the bottom of the pool. She somehow managed to work
herself up again to gasp for air, only to head down to the bottom
again. It was like she got the angle to move forward at 90° off and
the principles for floating completely wrong.

As for the one-piece swimsuit warrior—

“S-So cold! Ehehehe, jump jump!”

Like an antique nomadic tribe girl that had never seen a pool before,
she jumped up and down inside the water, spraying it up into the air,
playing with the people around her. She seemed to have just
forgotten about the competition entirely.

…Yes, it really was a wonderful competition. It didn’t matter who

would stand victorious in the end, as the entire competition was just
for the fun and giggles. But what bothers me a bit is the fact that
these two stated they were athletic geniuses just a few minutes prior
to this. For the first five minutes, I honestly supported them both,
and after another five minutes of me watching over them in
disinterest, I sat down next to the goal, gazing up at the sky from
beneath the low ceiling of the grotto. It’s great weather today.

To pass time, I decided to hold an intercebral council on the merits of

school swimsuits and one-piece swimsuits, compiling all the data
that I had to support my thesis in order to hold a fierce war of
science. The heavens created nothing above the swimsuit, nor was
there anything below the swimsuit. The proclamation of swimsuit
rights done by swimsuits for the swimsuits of swimsuits created
oppression and dictatorship, which led to the birth of the Holy Third
Swimsuit Empire, but eventually I grew tired of this fantasy, and the
two girls finally arrived at the goal.

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The drowning submarine and the excited nomad girl arrived at
roughly at the same time.

“Um… good work…?”

I helped the living corpse previously known as Tsutsukakushi up out

of the water, and she collapsed to her knees.

“……”

She was trying hard to get her rough breathing under control, and
she was unable to speak. Her eyes asked the question, though.

‘Who is the winner?’

“U-Um…”

When I looked over at Emi, she was just continuing to swim around
in the pool with a gleeful shout. “The pool is so much fun!” Water
droplets were flung from her twintails like bullets. To be completely
honest, I felt like Emi had been just a tiny bit faster. But I’ll give extra
credit for effort. I promised to be your ally through thick and thin.

“—It’s Tsutsukakushi’s win!”

“Ohhh!”

To my surprise, the first person to react was Emi.

“Tsuu-chan, you’re so strong! As a military soldier of the Empire, I

have to be sportsmanlike and accept defeat.”

“…No, it was a close battle.”

“It was really fun! If possible, let’s play again sometime!”

“That’s right… Let’s practice so that you can win next time, Emanu—
Emi-san.”

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The two girls exchanged praise and shared a handshake. Growth is
something wonderful, I thought as I watched this miracle unfold. It
felt like I was their guardian. I wonder if it’s okay if I hug them? The
two girls lined up next to each other, performing some finishing
stretches, when Emi looked at me.

“—Hey, Youto-onii-chan. Did you have fun as well?”

“Um? Well, sure I did.”

“I see. I’m satisfied as well.” She grinned.

With her 100% perfect smile, she looked at me and then looked at
Tsutsukakushi. And while she continued her stretches, her beautiful
mouth twisted into the smile of a devil.

“So I think it’s fine to cancel this wish now!”

“Eh?”

“I wish that everyone would lose their pool mood!” She declared
loudly.

Just as I told you before, Emi had prepared her own swimsuit. She
told us to give her around ten minutes, and she appeared as she is
now. As for Tsutsukakushi’s swimsuit, it was the school swimsuit
regulated by the school. That is something she wears every day
instead of her uniform. Tsutsukakushi and Azuki Azusa had
awakened from their hypnosis, no longer forced to wear the
swimsuit anymore, but the other students were still wearing
swimsuits as a result of Emi’s wish. Because of this swimming
competition, Tsutsukakushi had also been forced to wear said school
swimsuit.

Now what would happen now since Emi had retracted her wish?
First, everyone would lose their pool mood. Second, all the objects

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teleported here would vanish. Basically, what this means is that the
swimsuit which Tsutsukakushi was currently wearing would vanish.
After a short silence, a tearing sound rang out as the swimsuit—

“T-Tsukiko-chan…”

I figured the other girls must have been panicking just as much, but
my eyes were glued on the girl in front of me. She was naked. 100%
naked.

“Eh…”

As I said, the girl had been busy doing some stretches after the fierce
competition. She blinked as she directed her gaze at me. Seconds
passed. Another ten seconds passed, as if only the two of us existed
in this world. In the paradise cultivated by humanity’s sin, Adam met
the newly-born Eve, and they no doubt would have started laughing.
I understand because I am the same. After being shown his baby
without being covered by a thread, a boy would always smile. These
are his instincts.

“What is this, what is this?!”

“What happened?!”

“Why?!”

I heard the girls around us screaming and running inside the building
next to the pool. The poolside had turned quiet in an instant, and
Tsutsukakushi was one beat too late. She directly touched her snow
white and soft hiking course as well as the pink apples of original sin
with the palm of her hand. And then she looked up at me with
dampened eyes.

“……”

“W-Well I must say. They keep growing every time I see them, huh?”
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“……”

“A-At this rate, you might even pass your Onee-san soon. Just
kidding, ha… haha…”

“………”

“I’m sorry I was lying I was trying to be considerate please don’t hit
me with that kickboard!”

Eve would have been much happier if she had just run to the shower
room instead of attacking Adam, but before she realized this, a
sacrifice was deemed to be necessary.

Page | 153
Page | 154
*

“You really were evil all along…”

“Hmm? Youto-onii-chan, what are you talking about?”

This school-wide incident of half students ending up naked one day

was remembered as one of the seven wonders of this school. Emi
and I stayed behind in that otherwise empty poolside, sitting down
as we enjoyed the breeze. In short, we were waiting patiently for
Tsutsukakushi. Will she return with normal clothes after taking a
quick breather, or will she come storming out like the God of Wrath
himself? It’s Schroedinger’s waiting time, folks.

Emi was resting beside the water, kicking her legs up and down in
the pool. The one-piece swimsuit was held together by a single
innocent ribbon. It gave off a charming scent. If I were a loli pedo
deluxe, I would have maybe come to find certain silver objects
around both of my wrists here. Our password is ‘Yes Hentai, No
Touch.’

“…I guess Tsutsukakushi is angry, after all. Only her face looks
calm…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine~ Though Tsuu-chan won’t show it on her face, I’m
sure that she must have been excited! A quivering flame was burning
inside her when she realized that she had been seen by Onii-chan. Or
so it said in a book I read once!”

“I’ll confiscate that book right away! And don’t put such labels on my
step-sister!”

“Hehehe, is she really that pure? Once night comes around, she’ll
definitely put on some E—ureka symphony. Onii-chan, your eyes are
scary.”
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Emi quickly diverted herself before she could finish her previous
sentence. If things went any further, there would be corpses. I just
knew it. Basically, Yokodera-kun would die of blood loss. As if she
were trying to calm the situation, she splashed both of her small legs
right into the water.

“But I was being honest when I said I was satisfied. I wanted to get
into the sports festival mood as quickly as possible, and now I’m
happy. I’ve made so many memories that I’ll probably never forget
them all.”

“…You’re making a big deal out of this.”

“It’s the truth. Even kids understand the value of memories. Even if
adults forget them. Or even if Onii-chan forgets them.”

“I’m the type of person who understands the importance of the

backlog in gal games. I treasure memories.”

“Lies here, lies there, lies everywhere, lies 800. If you’re run over by
a car you’re flat, and a rice cracker is flat. What’s bad is a rice
cracker, and what’s bad is the taste of your flesh, da da da~”

“What a grotesque song!”

Every time her legs plunged into the water, a splash of water rose
into the air. She put one hand on her chest and started singing
resonantly, leaving me unable to guess how much of her banter was
serious. Covered by this ceiling of a grotto at this Italian poolside, I
couldn’t read her feelings behind that smile. And even without these
circumstances, I doubt I would be able to find out what she was
thinking.

“…Then once the other wishes turn into good memories, could you
cancel them as well?”

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“I wonder about that~ …Wait, ‘other wishes’?” Her feet came to a
halt. “Youto-onii-chan, you found out that I was wishing for things?”

“Yup.” I gave a short nod.

Trying to figure things out by myself in secret was too difficult to

handle. That’s why, just as Azuki Azusa had recommended, I asked
her directly. This girl isn’t evil or anything.

“Yup yup yup! Good job on seeing through me, Akechi11-kun! It

should have been a safe secret, but this is different from what I’ve
heard, indeed.” With no ill-intent whatsoever, Emi stuck out her
tongue. “And what are you going to do now, Onii-chan?”

“What do you mean?”

“What are you going to do with the criminal you’ve caught? Are you
going to deceive Emi with some modern period doctrine so that she
cancels her wishes? Or will you go with the principles of ancient
times to overwhelm and catch me with violence, and bully me until I
beg you to let me take back the wish? Kyaaa, so scary!”

“Again, where did you learn stuff like that?”

And why do you look so excited about the prospect?

“I’m not going to do anything,” I answered. She seemed offended by

this, but I think the key to get on the correct route lies with
tolerance.

“Just if you’re in some way related to the disappearance of Yaji-san,

that huge rabbit, I’d be happy if you reversed that wish. Ponta is
really worried about her.”

“Yaji-san is gone? That’s really bad!” She reacted with surprise. “I

really don’t know about any of that! But why did you think it was my
doing?”
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“I mean, you’re the kid from the choir, right? Weren’t you close to
Ponta?”

“Wha…?” Emi blinked in shock.

Her already large eyes opened wide, only for her expression to
lighten up.

“Onii-chan! You finally remembered?! Yay! Um! Um!”

“But I still don’t understand what your intentions are. Why don’t you
go play with someone else? I don’t remember us being that close,
anyway.”

In my dream it’s always the same. A young girl and a young boy,
talking with each other. A girl from overseas, her hair bound up in
twintails, and a middle school boy laughing gleefully. They’ve always
been close.

“…So mean…” A faint sigh escaped from her lips.

Emi had a strained expression on her face as she looked down. She
looked like she was being hit by disappointment and despair, a sharp
pain assaulting her.

“I-I’m not being mean! It’s the truth, right?!”

“…It might be. But you don’t have to say that…”

“I’m sorry…”

“This is totally boring… And I hate boring things…”

I’ve heard that phrase before. Isn’t this exactly what instigated this
whole situation? I readied myself, only for my field of view to topple
sideways. Something pulled on my right hand, which threw off my
balance, and both Emi and I fell into the pool.

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“Aguh?!”

“Ehehe, what a weird voice!”

Still holding onto my hand as I struggled to keep my head above the

water, the 100% girl showed unexpected fluent swimming skill as she
guided me to the middle of the cave. Because of the faint sunlight
shining inside the entrance, the surrounding area gave off a holy blue
shine. Gathering water in the palm of her hands, she showered me
with a splash.

“Bugh!”

“Another weird voice! When I attack Onii-chan, you let out a cute,
girly reaction, as if I’d pack you up in a sack and take you with me!”

“Are you praising me or making fun of me?!”

“I’m just showing my affection towards you.”

“So you’re making fun of me!”

“Um, um, Youto-Onii-chan.”

After playing around in the water, the space monster looked up at

me. Her young eyes shining like acorns were complimented by her
imbalanced 100% perfect smile. In the end, I still don’t know how old
she was.

“You said ‘I don’t know what you want to do’, but it’s simple. I just
want to play with both of my Onii-chans. I had an Onii-chan I was
close with a long time ago.”

“…Yeah.”

“Even after I had to go back to Italy because of Papa’s work, we

made a pinky promise at the airport that once I come back to Japan,

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Onii-chan would show me around at school and we’d play around
lots. It was a promise. That’s why I kept these words in my heart like
a love letter stored in a bin, waiting far away for it to happen.”

“But…” Emi muttered, shaking her head.

‘I ain’t got no memories nor emotional attachment to her.’ That’s

what Ponta said.
He made the lolita alliance of the entire world his enemy by saying
that. But still, what does being forgotten about feel like?

“Anyway, I’m done for now.”

“Eh, really?”

“I’m tired. There should be even funner things to do around.” Emi

laughed, shrugging her shoulders like she wasn’t bothered all too
much.

Well, I guess the Lolita Alliance should remain calm now.

“Right, right, it’s this week, isn’t it?” She asked.

“What is? The rainbow-colored swimsuit festival?”

“…Not quite. The sports festival! The day where everyone sings and
dances!” She sounded excited.

“Ah, yeah, that’s right. I’m surprised you knew about it.”

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah~” She put one hand on her small chest and
closed her eyes for a brief moment.

As if she was communicating with the survivors of her race, far in the
depths of the universe, she spoke with a pained voice.

“—Please, Youto-onii-chan. This is my final wish. On the day of the

sports festival, let’s play together. Then I’ll give up.”
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Give up on what exactly? I couldn’t hear any more than that, because
the door of the shower room opened, and my Kouhai started
approaching us. That meant that the time allotted to her had
reached its limit. Instead—

“Um, um, Onii-chan!”

“Yeah?”

“You got snot coming out of your nose.”

“…Achoo! You’re right, I’m still wearing my uniform!”

“Wow! Why didn’t you think about that before taking a dip?”

“Why are you the one saying that?? Who was it who pulled me into
the water?”

“Hehe, I don’t know! Pumpkin barrier!” Emi giggled as she sought

refuge up out of the water.

“…It seems like you’ve been enjoying yourselves quite a bit while I
wasn’t here, getting all drenched like that. I see. It’s very interesting,
indeed.”

Half calm, half the incarnation of range, Tsutsukakushi averted her

gaze as she nodded to herself. I don’t know what exactly you’re
satisfied with, but could you tell me? I feel like these are false
accusations.

There.

—You really are a pumpkin.

I heard a voice behind me, speaking cold and sharp words, only to
disappear into the wind. I was someone who believed the girl to not

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be as bad as everyone else thought, and I couldn’t understand these
words.

1 This joke does not work at all in English, so take this cheesy fog
joke.

2 Awful to portray in English as well

3 Here, words like ‘vision’ and ‘global standard’ are in English

4 In the original, he says ‘The rocket to occupy the other clubs’. With
the joke being that oppai (tits) sounds like occupy, but in order to
keep the joke to a certain level, I had to alter it with ‘bazookas’
instead.

5 From Lupin the Third, the act of taking off your clothes except the
underwear and jumping at a woman in bed.

6 A reference to the 5th installment of the Jojo Series (Vento Aureo).

A stand that can erase a certain frame of time lasting up to 10
seconds, here represented as 10 years.

7 Written as little sister

8 Mythical raven

9 A novel by Yumeno Kyusaku, which basically had no acclaim

whatsoever until thirty years later.

10 Capri Island

11 Akechi Mitsuhide, a samurai and general who lived during the

Sengoku period of Feudal Japan.

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Chapter 4: The Happy Prince
‘Found Yaji-san. Had her delivered. Here’s an extra ->’

I received this short and blunt email from Azuki Azusa the night
before the sports festival. I was happy that Yaji-san was safe and
sound, but I also found it weird. Normally, emails from Azuki Azusa
were so long that my finger would fall asleep during all the scrolling,
and they were always riddled with a wide variety of emoticons or
smiley faces that were honestly hard to read at times. When I sent a
response, nothing else came. Nothing of this sort had ever happened
before, besides her actually falling asleep before responding.

I looked at the email once again. At the end, she had put an internet
address for a website. However, when I clicked on it, I only got a ‘This
website does not work on your phone’ back. Man, I wanna buy a
smartphone as quickly as possible. I don’t care about the capabilities,
but high quality videos are waiting for me.

“Also, the heck is this anyway?”

She sent me a website with no explanation whatsoever. This smells

too fishy for my liking. Is Azuki Azusa low on money, so she has to
upload stuff on one of those kinds of websites? Is this going to be a
video of her wearing dog ears, a fake tail, and a collar and barking at
the camera? I can picture it now… No, I can’t allow that. I have to
figure out the victim’s situation right away!

Since I was about to take a bath, I had already taken off my pants,
prepared tissues to wipe away my tears of sadness, and was
operating the computer keyboard with my left hand. ‘The right hand
is just there for support1,’ is what someone has said about these
kinds of things before. Right when I had copied the address into my
browser, my phone started ringing.

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“Gaah! Shut up! I’m busy!”

Once this passion and fury has started to burn inside of me, the fire
wouldn’t vanish soon. It continued to ring for a while, almost making
me want to throw the phone across the room, but the name shown
on the display stopped me from doing so.

“You god dang moron, Ponta! I’m busy right now!”

‘What a way to respond to your treasured friend’s call. I can tell that
you’re busy, considering these caustic words you’re throwing my
way.’
“If you know, then don’t bother me! I’ll hang up!”

‘Wait wait wait there professor, I just wanted to thank you. You were
the one who asked Azuki-san to help with the rabbit hunt, right?’
When I heard this, I finally realized that Ponta’s voice was ecstatic.
He told me about the girl who had just delivered Yaji-san to her
home. The girl said that a person called Azuki found Yaji-san, and she
told Ponta that the order of command went: That girl < Azuki Azusa <
Me.

‘The girls from the choir and Azuki-san managed to catch him inside
the church courtyard.’
“I’m glad to hear that. A mochi store for mochi, and Azuki Azusa for
animals… Wait, the choir?”

‘Yeah, the choir. When I saw her in person, I remembered what you
told me. It’s the young girl who had to move to Italy because of her
family. She was the one who brought Yaji-san over.’
“…Emi.”

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‘Right right, that’s her name. Even though it’s been a hot minute, she
hasn’t changed at all. She said she came back this month. Apparently
she’s looking forward to the sports festival quite a bit.’
“Um, listen. I know I’m changing the subject here, but didn’t you
have another little sister besides Yaji-san? Didn’t something big
happen recently?”

‘You’re asking me something strange again, huh?’ Ponta laughed on

the other end of the call.
‘It’s always been only Yaji-san and good old me.’
That’s what he said.

‘If there’s one weird thing I could mention, it’s that I was walking
around near the park, only to end up at home after a small blink of
time. Yaji-san was delivered to me there. This is clearly the fancy of
the Lord above. Same to you. I’m deeply, eternally, utterly drenched
in thankfulness. Speaking of drenched, the night I first met this girl, it
was raining cats and dogs. The instant I spotted her, completely
drenched from the rain, a bond of siblings was born through tears
between the two of us, allowing us to battle across the rough the
raging waves of this world, as the outside of the windows turned into
the Six Jewel Rivers2, just as they exist in the Man’yōshū3. I worried if
this beloved creature was handmade in the Tama River in Tokyo—’
Now that Ponta had started rambling on and on, things would never
end at this rate, so I swiftly gave my regards and ended the call.

“I see. So her wish about being his little sister was cancelled as
well…”

I guess she wasn’t lying when she said she was done now. Ponta
doesn’t have a human little sister. The world had returned back to
how it formerly was. But… is this really fine?

‘Please, Youto-Onii-chan. This is my final wish.’

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The faint words from the space monster wouldn’t leave my mind.
Subconsciously I found myself balling my hands into fists. I still had
the web address Azuki Azusa had sent me up in the browser address
bar. I accidentally pressed the enter key, and my PC screen switched
against my will. I was greeted by pictures of cute girls right on the
top of the page.

“O-Ohh! …Ohh? Oh…”

I leaned forwards, bewildered at the low target age range of the

material shown, and gazed over it again. This is—the choir. Our town
only has one such choir. It was part of the Catholic or Protestant or
whatever church nearby. She had sent me the official homepage of
said choir. There was a modest description of their activities, the
practice scenery, and membership details, and they also had a group
picture of the members. In the midst of those boys and girls stood a
girl I was very much familiar with. It was the space monster twintails,
making an innocent peace sign with her fingers. When I clicked on a
nearby link, I was directed to a certain video.

On the morning of the sports festival, the sky was surprisingly clear.
Scattered clouds could be seen here and there, and a pleasant
breeze was blowing around, making this the perfect weather for a
festival like this. I’m sure the flag up high on the pole must be waving
comfortably like the girls would wave their sports bras on the
balcony. Well, that was just a metaphor. I don’t actually have any
experience with things like that.

After putting on the baseball cap that had gone through the laundry,
I sat on my bike and rode my way to school. Because of recent
events, I was fairly well-prepared for any emergency situation. Right
when I passed in front of the children’s park—

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“Youto-Onii-chan!”

I caught a girl in the middle of a rolling sobat kick and safely put her
back down on the ground.

“Ohhh! You’ve practiced! You’re like a pro now!”

“Well, I’ve been going through the same ordeal every day.”

“Now that it’s come to this, you have to train for even more
advanced tactics! Next up is the triple axle moonsault diving sobat!”

“Let’s stop with the kicking, okay?”

“It’s finally time for the long-awaited sports festival! I’m looking
forward to the pro-wrestling techniques of the students!”

“There won’t be any events like that.”

“…What’s wrong, Youto-Onii-chan? You look like withered celery

with no energy left inside of you. Smile, smile!” Emi looked up at me,
grinning.

I guess that she must be excited because of the sports festival

happening today. The corners of her mouth were raised gently, and
her eyes were brimming full of color like an angel descending on
earth. The one-piece she was wearing today made her resemble a
mermaid princess, and it shone a radiant blue color. Her cuteness,
sweetness, and lovable appearance made me space out a bit, making
me carelessly voice my thoughts aloud.

“I watched the video on the homepage.”

Emi’s facial expression tightened up. I stopped the bike at a corner of

the street. My feet stopped, and I faced Emi.

The video I saw wasn’t one of a girl wearing dog ears going ‘Woof
woof’ (as you might expect), but rather the self-introduction of a
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certain girl who had re-entered the choir. The date said that it was
uploaded around a month earlier. A rather serious looking Emi spoke
towards the camera.

“When I left Japan two years ago, I thought that I wouldn’t be

coming home for a long time, but it seems that I was lucky. I’m
looking forward to singing and learning even more now.”

After a few warm comments from the people of the church, she
lowered her voice a bit and continued.

“This is to Onii-chan. I came back. Do you remember? Your promise

that you would take me to the school, and play with me at a festival.
It’s soon, right? The festival at school. You better be ready for my
full-force fully-trained pro-wrestling jump, Onii-chan.” She grinned,
and the video ended.

It’s not that I was feeling down. I was just thinking. Thinking about
Emi’s actual feelings.

“You said you gave up on the sports festival, but is that really true?
You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll help you get closer with that
‘Onii-chan’ again. Even if the sports festival isn’t good enough,
there’s other events around.” I put my hand on her shoulder.

Her body was small, like someone else I knew. I wanted to help her
no matter what.

“…Are you seriously saying that?”

“Of course!”

For a moment, Emi didn’t move. Her acorn eyeballs were staring at
me until all the light vanished from them. What came to the
surface—was a devilish smile.

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“I thought you were an idiot, but I didn’t know you were that much
of a shithead.”

“…Eh?”

“Why do you see it that way? Why do you say things like that? Even
though you don’t understand anything, you act like you’re a saint. A
pumpkin stays a pumpkin no matter what happens. I said I’d hold
back for the sports festival, but I’m done.” She spoke with a clear
voice, as if bells were ringing.

“W-What are you…?”

“Do you really want to know? If you do, then let me tell you.” She
turned towards me with a stagger, and she formed a fist like she was
declaring war. “I’m done with it all! Cancel everything!” She
announced the end of this situation.

“Cat God! Reset all of it! Make it so that all the wishes never
happened!” She tightly held the plush toy shaped like the Stony Cat,
screaming at it again and again, only to throw it away.

It flew across the street, crossed the park fence, and disappeared
into the bushes. And thus it was forced to retreat from the main
stage.

“Ah…”

A faint wind blew past us, making me realize that the baseball cap on
my head had vanished. The symbol of a prince had been taken away
from me. I’m sure it must have returned to the actual prince by now.
And on top of that, there was one other thing.

Emi pushed away my hands, clicking her tongue. Her long hair had
opened up behind her small back. The ribbons that made her look

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like a beautiful young girl had vanished as well. Her eyes directed at
me resembled an Italian mafia gangster.

“…Heh. I’m saying that you can’t do anything, you useless pumpkin
bastard.” The girl glared up at me with a disgusted face.

The children’s park is a morning paradise for tree swallows. The one
chasing them away was a previously kind and innocent angel of a girl.
She loudly sat down on the swing. She took out perfume from her
pocket, put some on her neck, put a hairtie in her mouth, and
brushed her hair with a compact mirror.

“Disgusting. Just rot already. Don’t stare at me like that.” She spoke
as if she were spitting at me.

Her hair glittered like the fiercely burning sun above the
Mediterranian Sea. The ribbon gifted to her by the God above had
vanished, and her former twintails were now opened up behind her
back. Her large, round eyes still had a poisonous light residing inside
of them. I realized that the sweet scent she had been giving off had
actually been made by humans all along. She wouldn’t laugh
innocently anymore. She only scoffed at me.

“W-What happened? You’re acting weird all of a sudden…”

“Huh? Moron. That was all just acting. The one who changed was
you.”

“I’ve changed?”

“You just mistook me for someone else. Even if I acted along a bit, I
decided to wish that I could actually change. Being innocently cute is
the ideal kind of girl for a disgusting pervert, right? It’s a good match
for a pumpkinhead like you, to be honest.”

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Page | 171
Every time she called me ‘You’ instead of ‘Onii-chan’, her lips twisted
into a sneer. I could only listen to her tirade of insults she directed
towards me, right from that beautiful mouth of hers.

—She gives off the scent of an unfair, wicked woman who breaks the
rules whenever she wants.
Tsutsukakushi’s words replayed themselves in my mind. I see. That
makes sense. This girl really is wicked. I was deceived in every regard.
Of course, it was a big shock for me—Actually, not really. It feels just
like always. Huh? Why?

“…When I think about it, I knew about that tone of yours quite some
time ago.”

“Eh?”

The hair tie fell out of the girl’s mouth.

“You let it out from time to time. I never really gave it much thought,
but hearing you now causes it all to make sense. Weren’t you about
to cry back at the sports grounds?”

“H-Huh?! You’ve got the wrong idea about that. The Cat God was
completely under my control, so that was just acting! Moron,
moron!”

“That innocently pure setting didn’t work towards the beginning,

either. You managed to save yourself with the whole ‘Eureka
Symphony’ thing, but your real character was about to come out
back then…”

“D-Don’t suddenly change the subject! I’m talking completely

different compared to a second ago! Die, you moron idiot! See? Like
that! Isn’t that the greatest kind of reward for a pervert like you?!”
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“Tsutsukakushi apparently got the wrong idea, but I’m not interested
at all in ankle-biters like you, so I really don’t care.”

“……”

“Also, even if your tone might have changed, your outer appearance
is still the exact same. I’m not too familiar about the subject, but
tomboy girls are actually pretty popular. If there was a low-batter
around here, I’m pretty sure he’d just take you as-is.”

“……”

“You wished to the Stony Cat, right? There’s no way that thing would
grant your wish honestly, and even if you did have complete control
over it, that might have only been part of another wish, don’t you
think?”

The girl stayed quiet for a moment.

“…H-Heh! There’s no use stressing the small details! Just you wait!
Idiot idiot!”

She started laughing with a loud voice, and I joined in. In the end,
both of us were laughing like we had before, and honestly not much
had changed.

“Hm? Wait a second. Since you wished for that kind of smile, did you
want to become the 100% perfect smile girl for me?”

“D-Don’t be so conceited! The Cat God just ignored my perfect

control over my own will and decided to do that on its own!”

“Isn’t that the exact opposite of what you just said?”

But that wasn’t what I was referring to. There was still something
that had changed. The 100% perfect smile I had seen wasn’t like that
anymore. The smile that the Cat God supplied isn’t my ideal smile. I

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mean, she’s definitely cute, simply because of her age and looks. If
she were to take part in a party for aliens, she would immediately
become the star of the galaxy. But my tentacles won’t move
anymore. No, I mean my index fingers. Because something incredibly
crucial is gone. That’s the really sad part of it all.

“…Anyway, I lost the reason to act like a good person. The end.”

The girl met my gaze, snorting as if to try to gain the higher ground in
the conversation. She kicked her legs up and down as she sat on the
swing. The red ribbon she used to bind her hair in a sidetail looked
like a withered flower.

“B-But, even if you lost that 100% perfect smile I loved, my feelings
to help and support you still haven’t changed!”

“Hah, so you’re forcing yourself again.”

“I’m not forcing myself! Just because your way of talking changed
doesn’t mean that your wish did, right?! That is just the—”

“…Ahh, that. Yeah, I don’t care anymore.”

“Eh?”

“I don’t have infinite time, you know. I eventually have to start

attending school, and I’ll need to start doing other things on my plan,
so I just wished to have some fun. It was just to kill time. I’m done
now.”

She sang the reason behind her wish like a poem. I felt an odd sense
of vertigo.

“But you wished and prayed to the Cat God so many times…”

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“Who cares? I hate boring stuff? I told you that already, right? It
must have been much more interesting for you than it was for me.”
She laughed in a ridiculing way.

There’s nothing there at all. She didn’t feel any sadness that her
wishes were cancelled. She wasn’t being bullied by anybody, she
wasn’t trying to protect her little sister, she’s not sad that her family
is gone. There’s nothing at all. This girl is just empty of anything.

“Didn’t you enjoy that version of the world? You were treated like a
prince, and there were all the swimsuits around. That’s the kind of
stuff you’d wish for yourself, right?”

“Just wish for random things to liven up my life a little bit?”

“Exactly. I don’t know what this Stony Cat even is, but it’s pretty
convenient for a god. Don’t be so serious about it. If it weren’t me
doing it, someone else would wish and pray to it. You, Ponta, or that
girl over there.”

“…Normally, if you wish for something, you should have a reason.”

“What kind of reason?”

“Being so lonely that you can’t take it…”

“Heh. Moron! Everybody gets lonely from time to time!” She

guffawed as she finished tying her hair with the hair tie. “How’s this
look?” She grinned, shaking her head back and forth to emphasize
the reappearance of the twintails.

They looked like the ears of a calm rabbit. I subconsciously

envisioned a faraway universe. In this pitch-black darkness, neither
UFOs nor Andromeda exist. There is but a single moon in this wide
space. A space monster, a rabbit, pounding mochi with a carefree
attitude. The rabbit doesn’t worry about anything. It doesn’t even

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know what there could be to worry about. It would only spend its
lonely days on the moon, day in and day out.

“—I thought that you and that girl were rivals. But I guess you aren’t
similar at all.” I said.

“Huh?”

“Acting with shallow feelings only shows just how shallow your
emotions are. You’re not fooling anyone at all. The wishes you
prayed for were immediately seen through by the girls around me.”

The tips of my shoes digging into the ground felt heavy. I didn’t want
them to be dragged into the Stony Cat mess this easily. That Cat God,
who gave these girls sleepless nights, should not be an issue up for
discussion. I’m pretty sure I was disappointed. Towards Emi, as well
as towards myself for not having been able to figure out what was
going on.

“Even if you pray to the Cat God, the problems behind it all won’t
change. Even so, there’s a girl who knew she couldn’t wish for
something, and still subconsciously did. She’s an entirely different
kind of girl than you. Do you understand her feelings? You don’t, do
you?”

“What are you…?”

“The most important things in life won’t change no matter what.

Until you realize that, you won’t be able to catch up with her.”

For a while, only the sound of the breeze around us could be heard.
Emi looked at me with round eyes, without any sound coming from
her opened mouth. Like a young girl ignored by her loved one,
hatred and anger filled her expression. Her gaze pierced through me.

“What are you talking about…?” She muttered.

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Her eyes were filled with apathy. All kindness and innocence had
vanished from them. And then, a transparent drop appeared. Why is
she so desperate to keep her lips and her eyelashes from shaking? In
the end, she couldn’t take it, and droplets of water appeared.

“Why do I have to hear all of this from you of all people?! You say
that nothing will change no matter what, so why?! How did you…
About me! About the past!” A voice finally appeared from the
opening of her lips.

“The promise! You completely forgot about it!”

Her scream filled the atmosphere around us.

“W-What do you—?”

“I even cancelled wishes before they were granted! If you don’t

remember, then get your ass together, you broken pumpkin, you
rotten cabbage! Your mother’s a Jack o’ Lantern! I’ll definitely…
definitely pay you back for this!”

She kicked the stones at her feet, kicked up the sand with her toes,
and as if that weren’t enough, she pushed me down, kicked me,
trampled on me, and dashed out of the park after she finished her
atrocities. Sandy, dirty, and unable to resist her at all, I just sat on the
ground in a daze. After all, she was crying. But why? How? For what
reason? Aren’t you a selfish, carefree, and greedy person, just taking
it out on the world? Weren’t you supposed to be a bad girl, Emi?

The sports festival came to an end. Some classes ended up winning,

but nothing of great importance had happened this year, either. I
don’t even remember the details about what happened. A forbidden
love was born during the horseback battle, a lovey-dovey lunch box,
the heated battle of spats vs bloomers, all these kinds of things. To
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those people who were looking forward to reading such events and
developments in great detail, please read the Yokodera-kun
collection of daydreaming chronicles. I don’t know if they’re that
interesting, though.

Before I realized it, I was at school, the closing ceremony had started
and ended, I had made my way home, and the next morning had
arrived. The following day was clean-up day, there were some
holidays after that, and there were days after those that I skipped
school. The earth lost color like a husk, yet it was spinning as fast as
ever.

During that entire time, I kept having the same dream. A young boy
and girl who were always together. A girl from overseas with her hair
bound up in twintails, and a gleefully laughing middle-school
student. They were always close, just like they were right now.

“Um um, Onii-chan. A promise.” The girl whispered. “Once I make it

back, I want to visit your high school, and you’ll take me to a festival.
A sports festival! The world is boring as hell, but at a sports festival, I
can just run around as much as I want, right? Nobody will get angry
at me. I’m looking forward to it. So… promise me.”

We shared a pinky promise. I know both of their faces. One of them

was Emi, of course, with her typical sinister and unpleasant smile.
With her was another person. Reflected in the girl’s eyes was the
boy’s face—Yokodera-kun.

“Why…?”

At that point, I would always wake up in my bed. Inside the dark

room, I would gaze at the mirror. The me in the mirror gazed back
with a cold gaze. It’s the Yokodera-kun I know best of all in this entire
world. The recorded late night show I watched a month ago, the
video I borrowed a year ago, and the grade school floor I polished

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five years ago. I remember it all. Even though I should know myself
best of all in the entire world. Am I being deceived by the Stony Cat
again? How much of this is true? How much is this a lie? I had no
idea anymore.

Early the next morning, the doorbell rang. When I ran to open the
door, I was greeted by shaking tail-hair…

“…Good morning, Senpai. How are you feeling?”

A certain Kouhai of mine stared up at me.

I made Tsutsukakushi wait five minutes to allow myself time to

quickly change clothes and brush my teeth. SInce she came to pick
me up after all this, I couldn’t just skip another day or my evaluation
as a Senpai would plummet. I prepared myself to hop on the bike
with her. Tsutsukakushi softly shook her head.

“You must still be a bit tired. We’ll make it in time even if we don’t
hurry.”

I kept telling her I was just fine, but her thick head wouldn’t listen to
me at all, so I pushed the bike alongside me as we walked down the
path. Even when we passed the children’s park, no monster came to
attack me. Oddly enough, I wasn’t too bothered by it. It felt like my
shoulders were light. Honestly, I was feeling just fine physically. It
just felt like some alien which sucks at surgery implanted something
in my head, making me feel all mixed up.

“A while ago, Onee-san told me ‘It’s my win’, and forced me to make

ten steamed buns for her.”

“Yup.”

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“According to her, she received photos during her stay at your
home.”

“Yup.”

“She seemed to have been in your care, so thank you very much.”

“Yup.”

Tsutsukakushi wouldn’t ask me about Emi. Ever since the swimming

contest at the pool, I’ve seen them play together a few times.
Tsutsukakushi should have known about Emi’s announcement to visit
the sports festival. That’s why she must have known something
happened to Emi, and yet she didn’t ask. Tsutsukakushi is always
kind. The scent of fragrant olives drifted over, reminding me of
someone.

“But, Senpai. Are pictures all that you gave Nee-san?”

“Yup.”

“I see, that’s totally fine. I don’t mind at all.”

“Yup.”

“I am an adult, after all. I couldn’t care less. Because I am an adult.”

“Yup.”

Tsutsukakushi’s natural scent was entirely different from the

artificially created scent of that girl. Emi and Tsutsukakushi look
different. They have a different personality. Their roots are entirely
different. Now that the curse of the Cat God has been lifted, they
can’t even be compared. Also, the other person is an actual ankle-
biter. If I were to be corrupted through her seduction, I’ll have to
take a forced vacation inside high walls with people wearing white
robes taking care of me.
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“…Senpai.”

“Yup.”

She is always selfish, saying half-minded things, spitting nonsense all

of the time. I don’t remember. I made a promise with her? Don’t
even joke about things like that. As if I would ever forget about what
happened with that space monster in the past. I feel like an idiot for
trusting everything she said.

“Senpa—”

—Yet, at the same time. I can’t stand seeing a girl cry. No matter the
reason. No matter who it is. If I were to lose those feelings, I would
stop being myself.

“……”

“Yup?”

Before I realized it, the Kouhai next to me had grown quiet. And her
face had turned weird. The always cool and collected Tsutsukakushi
was pulling on her cheeks with her own fingers as hard as she could,
so much so that it must have hurt.

“What’s wrong?! Why are you turning into a bulldog now?!”

Without giving me an answer, Tsutsukakushi continued for a brief

moment.

“…Do you really prefer a girl who can smile and laugh after all?”

“Huh? Where did that come from?”

“I don’t care.” Tsutsukakushi averted her face with a snort.

With expressionless, cold eyes, she looked up at me.

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“You might only be thinking about the girl who has vanished, Senpai.
However—”

“O-Of course not! I think?”

“…You’re obviously thinking about her. However, it’s still not over.”

“It’s not? What isn’t?”

“Nothing is over. The school still isn’t back to normal, so things are
still weird.” Tsutsukakushi muttered indifferently as she walked
ahead.

Between the rooftops ahead of us, I could faintly see the minaret
with the giant bell inside of it. Even though the wish should have
been cancelled. Reflected in the morning sun stood the giant clock
tower at our school.

“What classroom do we have geography in today?”

“I think in the fifth building.”

“Ehh? The corridor is so long, and searching for it is a pain.”

“What should we do for lunch?”

“Let’s eat at the cafeteria. Carpaccio is totally in right now!”

“I heard that today’s PE will be futsal.”

“How about another punishment if we damage the ruins around us?”

We’ve left my house rather early today, but by the time we made it
to school, we were actually cutting it fairly close. I split up with
Tsutsukakushi and walked around the outer circumference of the
school building. I heard conversations everywhere around me. I
guess my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. The leaning tower, the
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red brick roofs, the medieval-style church, the marble fountain, the
gothic-style arches… Everything was still there.

Ding dong, ding dong. The school bell rang. It was a broadcast from
the student council.

‘Today, we will announce the transfer students. Let’s all give our best
wishes to the first student leaving for Italy!’
Italy. Italy. Italy. No matter where I looked, no matter what I heard,
just as Tsutsukakushi had said, the world still hasn’t returned back to
normal. And nobody had caught on to it yet.

“Impossible…”

Emi had cancelled all her wishes right in front of me. She had thrown
away the Cat God statue. Something is off here.

“—Ah, are you feeling better now?”

When I stored my bike at the usual place next to the west gate,
someone kicked at my shin. When I turned around, I was greeted by
the vice president of the track-and-field club, who seemed to be in
the middle of some light jogging.

“I thought you had finally died. Just hurry up and keel over already.
Don’t come to the track-and-field club for a while. You’ll give us
pervert sickness. Don’t come to school. Never come again. Don’t be
born in the first place.”

It had been a while since I’d heard this familiar stream of verbal
abuse. Considering that this was the exact opposite of how I had
been treated just a while ago, it actually felt comfortable. Natural,
normal conversation like this is the best.

“Ah, right, I need to give something back to you.”

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“I don’t want anything back from a pervert like you. Just catch your
cold again and die.”

“But you gave me this as a present. Don’t you remember?”

The vice president’s usual deadpan expression twitched. After

checking that no one else was around us, I took the object I was
referring to out of my bag. It’s Maeterlinck’s Blue Bird: The bravo
brasserie.

“I thought it wouldn’t be fair to hold onto it forever. I did try to wash

it as best as I could, but sorry if there’s any wrinkles in there.”

“………”

The vice president practically glared at the sports bra in the palm of
my hand. The more she stared, the more the corners of her lips
started twitching. They twitched more and more until her entire lips
were shaking, her face turning pale. The next moment, she started to
blush furiously, turning as red as an apple.

“No. That’s a lie. A mistake. Impossible. So suddenly. Weird. It just.

Why. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.”

“Umm… So you don’t want it? Can I keep it then?”

“I want I want I want I want give it back give it back give it back
pervert pervert pervert!”

Letting out loud shrieks I’d never heard coming out of her mouth
before, she ran right into me. She turned a somersault, flipped
upside down so that her shrieks were directed at the ground, stole
the sports bra from me, and swiftly vanished into the distance.

“Thanks a bunch! I’ll give you some of my underwear another time!”

I saw her off with a bow. “And, just as I figured, I’m not being treated
like a prince anymore.”
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That was all I wanted to check. Never would I ever want to tease the
vice president. A gentleman like me would never dare do such a cruel
thing. Either way, the way I’m being treated now is just like how it
was before Emi’s wish. The swimsuits, me being a prince, the 100%
perfect smile. All of these wishes had been cancelled, and I had
woken up from the dream. So why is the school not back to normal?

“—Hm?”

Right when I started a deep dive into analyzing the situation, I felt
bloodlust coming from the direction the vice president had dashed
off to.

“I found you, Yokodera…”

It was the Steel King. With a stern gaze like she had spotted her prey,
she pointed at me and walked into my direction. The pressure she’s
well-known for has returned. But why? Did I do something? I only
treated the vice president like a gentleman would, right? Don’t tell
me… The vice president summoned the last boss to pay me back?!

“It’s been a hundred years since we met here. I have something to

talk about.”

I couldn’t even move to escape. Her eyes that could kill a demon
captured me, activating my Yokodera-kun instinct safeguard.

“Y-You’re wrong, Club President! I’m super close with the Vice
President! We’re lovey-dovey! We always strive for new means of
communication!”

“What did you say?” Steel-san looked bewildered, and her

expression softened. “That is quite the livid confession this early in
the morning. I never would have thought that the two of you were
having a rendezvous in such a place…”

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“…Huh? Didn’t she send you after me?”

“What are you talking about? I ran past her and she seemed to be in
a fairly good mood, but now I see. That’s what it was. So you were
talking with her about the rocket bazookas… Interesting.”

“No, um, forget about that. I was lying. I was joking. Forget
everything I just said.”

“I am aware of it. Tied down and being tied down. It’s a military
secret, after all.”

“None of that! We’re at school! I was lying about that!”

“Very well, leave it to me. The path of a Soviet spy is a harsh one.”
Steel-san gave me a wink and smiled awkwardly.

I feel like she’s having some kind of horrible misunderstanding. Just

who messed up this badly with her education? I want them to take
responsibility.

“As for that, I will have your younger Yokodera brother tell me the
details later.”

“I think you should be looking at other people as well, not just him.”

“Hm? I was actually searching for you. I heard from Tsukiko that you
would be here today.”

“Do you have some business with me?”

“Indeed. Did you hear that broadcast just now?” Steel-san hesitated
a bit. “—I decided to go to Italy.” She spoke with a hint of irritation.

“…Y-You did?”

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“It will be a short three-month stay starting next month. They’re
going to announce it officially during the student body assembly this
afternoon.”

“Um, I’m sorry… I’m not sure I follow.”

“Let me think, I tried to learn two-timing techniques, as you are well

aware. On my future plans sheet, I wrote ‘Massachusetts (But Italy or
Arabia is fine as well)’. That sort of thing.”

“I really think you reconsider that whole plan, Club President!”

“Hm? What do you mean? The educator responsible for me was so

moved that he kept sobbing to himself for about an hour.”

“…Well, I see. And?”

I’ll give up on trying to dissuade her for now. She managed to make a
middle-aged man cry. I’m at a loss myself, honestly.

“This brings up the main problem. Apparently, our school has a

partner highschool in Italy. The people there are really interested in
what is happening with our school, which makes sense. From there
on, things started progressing smoothly, and I was chosen as the first
transfer exchange student, since I had shown interest in Italy from
the start.”

“But this is way too sudden!”

“Indeed it is. I agree that it is too rushed. It’s so rushed that I’m
uncertain if I even have the right to decline now. There’s this sudden
decision from the higher-ups, and the school still has lots of weird
things going on. This can only be the work of the Cat God. Of course,
I honestly want to visit Italy, as well, but I cannot tolerate this fool’s
play.” Steel-san looked up at the sky.

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From this position, you could not see the top of the clock tower.
From here, the fiendish gaze of the Stony Cat, filled with evil intent,
didn’t reach us.

“I tried to take my wish back time and time again, but the world
didn’t change, and these various Italian buildings still decorated our
school. That shows that this isn’t my wish at all. That leaves only one
other possibility.”

“…Emi, huh?”

“Maybe that girl made a wish to the Cat God that I would leave for
Italy?”

I see. Emi could still be the key to solving all these problems. She set
up the past, relied on the Cat God, and made lots of wishes to her
Cat God plush toy. All these things that I don’t know, she does.

“…Sorry, Club President. I’m not sure it’ll work.” I bit my lip.

A flashback ran through my mind as I saw the girl’s saddened face,

her eyes riddled with pain.

“I actually got into a fight with Emi. I might not be able to see her
again.”

Gong, gong. The bells rung as if trying to erase my mutter. It

announced the start of the first period. But I heard various confused
and panicked voices from a nearby balcony.

“Do you see that? Seriously? That’s so dangerous. I wonder what

she’s doing. How do you actually get up there? She’s not a student
anyway, is she? Is she some outsider? She’s about to fall off. Don’t be
stupid. I’m sure this is just some Hollywood shoot.”

I couldn’t hear what they said after that. If you get on a wrong route
in a gal game, a BAD END is what awaits you. In that case, you can
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just turn off the power or reload a previous save. But what lies at the
end of a BAD END in real life? I got a horrible premonition, and I
immediately started running.

By the time I made it to the seventh building, a lot of people had

already gathered there, and everything was a mayhem. Apparently,
this really wasn’t the time for normal classes to start. And I could see
the reason for it immediately. It was on the clock tower’s seventh
floor. Up on top of the clock, there’s a small room with the giant bell.
I spotted someone up at the iron railing: The twintails of a space
monster that looked like rabbit ears.

The view must be amazing up there. She sat on the iron railing,
kicking her legs up and down nonchalantly, while it looked like she
was about to be blown off any sec—Stop with the useless
explanation!

This is the highest part of the school, seven stories up into the sky,
you know?! Would I be able to catch her with my love and spread
brassiere all over the ground? Or would she meet the concrete floor?

“W-What should we do?! Hey, what should we do?!”

In the mass of people gathered right beneath the clocktower, there

was a single girl panicking quite a bit. Her long, wavy hair shook as
she turned her head around and around. It looked like foam was
coming out of her mouth in this traumatic situation.

“I don’t think anything will be resolved if you just panic like that.”

“Kya!”

When I tapped Azuki Azusa on the shoulder, she let out a scream as
if she were the one who was about to fall down. She immediately
grabbed my hand.

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“B-Because! Isn’t this the girl you know?! At this rate, things will—I
know, a hamster!”

“Eh?”

“A hamster! Maybe if we put a Djungarian hamster beneath her?!”

“…Calm down. There’s no way that would be able to save her. We’ll
need something better than that.”

“W-What do you have in mind?!”

For now, take off your bra.

If I had said that, Azuki Azusa might have just done it, so I restrained
myself. Even I could see the importance of quick action here. Not to
mention that, you know, Azuki Azusa’s bra… You get what I’m trying
to say, right?

“How can you look at me with such a kind gaze in this mess?! What is
it?! What ish it?! I feel so irrational just seeing this!”

“Your intuition has gotten better and better, I see… Very well.” I
pulled on my cheek.

Seeing Azuki Azusa panicking is paradoxically a perfect peace of mind

medicine that allows me to see things more clearly. Watching her
makes me feel calm, forces me to stay calm. I made up my mind.

‘I’ll definitely… definitely get you back for this!’

That’s what Emi had said to me. And since this is the problem that I
created, I have to bring an end to it myself. I’ll accept her paying me
back, but I’ll choose the method myself. I looked up at the clock
tower. Of course, I couldn’t see the expression of the girl high up
above. Only her shaking twintails were burned into my eyes.

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“I want to see her face. I want to talk to her. I’ll be going.”

“B-But!”

Azuki Azusa pointed at the entrance of the seventh building.

Teachers and instructors were blocking the entrance, stopping the
students from getting inside.

“I see… I guess I’ll just have to force myself through… I know!”

“Yeah, what?!”

“If a girl suddenly started taking off her panties right here, everybody
would focus on that. I’ll use that opening!”

“As if you…! The chances of a dolphin coming to rescue you during a

shipwreck is higher than that! How did you even come up with that,
pervert! Who would do that?!”

“By the way, Azuki Azusa, I have a favor to ask of you…”

“No?! Never ever! A-And even if you got inside the building, the
spiral stairs apparently don’t lead up there anyway. There’s a bar on
the door that not even an orangutan could open!”

“That part should be fine. I have a plan.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing!”

Either way, as long as I get into the seventh building, I should be able
to take care of the rest myself. The only problem is the entrance.
Should I up, take off my hat in this situation, and concede defeat? I
guess it’d be someone else taking off their underwear, not me taking
off a hat. Should I strip you of your underwear or strip me of my
hope? It’s not like I only want to see your panties or anything. I really
don’t. There’s no deeper meaning to it. Of course, I am interested. I
am a boy after all, if I’m completely honest with you.

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As a result of me begging her like this…

“Alright, I get it.” Azuki Azusa gave a faint nod. “Basically, you just
have to get into the building, right?”

“Exactly! Thank you! Something like this has happened before, hasn’t
it. You always save me in the end. Sorry about that.”

“…If you were to wish for it, I would do anything for you, Yokodera-
kun.”

Because we’re friends, after all.

So said the girl who couldn’t become the princess, as she softly
laughed.

Azuki Azusa was of great help. But, sadly enough, she didn’t take off
any clothes. We believe the outside appearance of the seventh
building was the clocktower built on the Piazza San4 or whatever.
Azuki Azusa showed me a secret entrance to this very building, which
was located in a small space between two nearby buildings.

“She’s oddly informed, huh…?”

Maybe Azuki Azusa is interested in Italy? Then again, I figure only the
people who actually tend the clock tower know about this entrance.
Either way, the seventh building contains the office room, the
reception room, and the staff room. When I went up the normal
school building stairs up to the sixth floor, they suddenly ended.
After that, I was greeted by spiral stairs that made their way up from
the corner of the floor. At the base of the stairs was a wooden door,
surrounded by several teachers.

“Open it! Open it up! You’re a good girl, right?!”

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Emi must have locked the door. They seemed to be unsuccessful in
their attempts to persuade her, and they were trying to force it
open. When I saw them from behind the corner, I retreated back in
the opposite direction. I wasn’t aiming for the spiral stairs, but the
balcony.

A while ago, or sometime a few days back, I remembered looking

down from there and being consumed by despair. Back when Steel-
san got on top of me and threatened me. I knew that the emergency
ladder was broken, and that it hadn’t been repaired. It ended up
being unable to get up to the small room with the giant bell, so Steel-
san used a bit of adhesive tape to somewhat ‘fix’ it.

Although the tape was holding it in place, it still shook against the
corner of the balcony. It was a cheap, aluminium ladder. Though it
didn’t seem too reliable when I shook it, I could use this as the
spider’s thread to climb up to heaven. If possible, I’d like a religious
harem of 72 beauties waiting for me beyond the clouds. When I
made my way up there one step at a time, I was greeted by an
emergency hatch.

A metallic sound rang out, and I put my hands on the floor of the
small room and pulled myself up. It was a small room with about a
ten meter radius and a giant bell hanging in the middle of it. Right
below the giant bell, I spotted stone stairs—spiral stairs leading
down like a chimney. There was a small fence around the sides, and
an additional passage that allowed you to look all around. Even
further away than that was an iron fence, which was the final barrier.
Past that were only the blue sky and the wide clouds. It was almost
like an actual world inside the heavens.

On top of the iron fence, I spotted hair shining in the sunlight of the
Mediterranian Sea. An angel with wings on their back—was, of
course, nowhere to be found. Her twintail hair shook in the wind like

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a rabbit’s ears, and the space monster had her back towards me.
Next to her she had a small jewel box. Emi opened up the box, took
out what looked like paper, and dropped her gaze to look at these.

“—Off you go!”

She threw them into the air, letting them drift downwards like flower
petals. She must have heard the hatch opening before, yet she
showed no signs of turning around. She only stared at the contents
of the box. Making sure that I didn’t make too much noise with my
footsteps, I made my way forward.

Page | 194
Page | 195
“Um, Emi…”

“……”

I put my elbows on the iron fence. Gazing at the girl’s profile, I found
myself having trouble speaking up. I tried to sneak a peek at the
contents of the box.

“Um, Emi-san?” I tilted my head.

The very first picture that entered my view was a shot from a photo
booth, showing the spectacular scene of a boy making an idiotic face,
along with Emi rubbing her cheeks against his. The date on it read
two years ago, and there was a caption that read ‘My Fair ☆ Little
Sister’.

Hey, what kind of crime is this? The girl, who clearly isn’t from Japan,
is making a face like she doesn’t like it, and yet the guy is forcing her
into a step-sister-like relationship inside this secluded photobooth
room. This is just the worst. Even I, who had watched lots of videos
of many genres, am a bit disappointed by it. Who the heck is that
man? He looks just like me. I can’t forgive him. Someone do
something about me. Wait, me?

“T-The heck is that?!”

“……”

Emi wordlessly picked up this picture, inspected it for a moment, and

let it fall out of her hands yet again. It fluttered down to the ground
where students and teachers were standing in shock. The next
pictures after that were also thrown to the ground, most of them
showing us as some kind of pseudo siblings. One of them was a
handwritten postcard.

Page | 196
‘Dear Emi,

Are you remembering to brush your teeth? Do you keep yourself

warm at night? Onii-chan is really worried—’

Naturally, these were all obvious examples of a dark past you would
never want anybody to find out. Seriously, who wrote this? Of
course, it was me. Somebody stop this. Stop. Please stop. Someone
stop Emi.

“Gaaaaaah, please stop!!”

The twintails space monster pulled on my arm, almost sending me on

a merry ‘I believe I can fly’ trip. I barely managed to hold onto the
fence, and I fell backwards.

“Moron~!”

Emi landed on top of me, as if she was riding a hose, and closed off
my mouth. She raised her lips and grinned like the devil.

“You’d better be prepared for what’s to come. All the places you’ve
been to, all the places you’ll visit in the future, whether it be the
university entrance exam, a workplace interview, or a marriage
interview. They’ll always remember these things I scattered. I’ll tell
them all that ‘I was forced (to become a little sister) by this man!’.
Now you’ll be branded as a pervert no matter where you go, and
your life will be over!”

“Gyaaaa?!”

She really isn’t an angel. This devilish bunny is performing terrorism

that could ruin the life of a single human being! There’s only one
thing I can do for her now! For you, I would die in the eyes of
society5! …Wait, I remember a light novel title like that.

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Well, to be completely honest, I don’t really care what the world
thinks about me. As long as I have my barrier of fantasies to protect
me, I can live for a thousand years. Just… Tsutsukakushi-san and this
cool mountain goddess would be bad. I imagined her receiving this
surprise present from Emi, stomping on the ground with no
expression whatsoever, and transforming into the Neo Asura Girl. I
felt sweat coming out of my body, my chest tightening up. Is this…
Love? The sickness? Maybe some disease that stops me from
breathing?

“Forgive me! Please! Any more than this and I’ll really be done for!”

“…Do you finally realize it, Onii-chan?” Emi put the box into my hand.
“Then I’ll make things easier for you!”

She forced me upwards and towards the fence. I was about to see
the box off with an ‘I believe I can fly’. If I fell down along with this
box, all the problems would be taken care of, I guess. It would be a
straight line down to the ground. Which would fall faster? It’ll be the
Galileo Galilei experiment of the 21st century! Let’s go!

“Gyaaaa! No, no more! You have to treasure life more!”

“Moron, moron, stupid moron! Fall down from this tower and get
flat! Who’s the flattie now? You’re the flattie! What color is your
blood, flattie? Splat!”

“Again, that song is way too scary!”

Emi sang with an angelic voice and rhythm. At the same time, she
smiled like the devil, brandishing a fist ready to push me off.

“Wait! We can talk things out! I’m ready to accept your conditions!”

“I won’t wait! Shut up, you pumpkin! Don’t try and talk your way out
of this!”

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Even though Emi and I had a considerable difference in body stature,
I kept losing against the pressure. I desperately tried to push her
hands back, returning a grip with another grip. The box opened
during our struggle. Several presents were scattered into the air.
Photo booth pictures, drawings, self-made CDs, song lyric cards,
picture collections… This person called Yokodera-kun who acted like
Yokodera-kun had offered his everything to the girl from overseas,
and each of these objects could be solid proof in court of law to
convict me of the death penalty. Is this considered a crime even if I
don’t have any memory of it? Save me, veteran lawyer squad!

“Also, they’re falling! All of them! All of the pictures are!” I cried.

“They can fall for all I care! You deserve this!”

They were blown away by this heavenly breeze and dancing down
towards the ground. While I was desperately trying to gather them
up, Emi was trying to use her feet to kick them off the balcony.

“W-What are you doing?! Aren’t these important memories that are
proof of our wonderful love as siblings?!”

“That way of phrasing it was disgusting. Super disgusting. Why would

you use your feelings as memories like that? How arrogant can you
be?”

Emi truly was an evil girl. She laughed in a gleeful way, dirtying my
pictures, my words, my existence. Yet, her fists were still clenched.
As if she wanted to stop these photos from being pushed off.

Let’s take this into general consideration. No matter what kind of

smile a girl can make, if her fist is clenched, then she’s just smiling
with a facade. Every single person possesses honest feelings and
facade. Everybody uses them and distinguishes between them. That
means that I have to find her honest feelings hidden behind her
facade. As someone who’s lost my own facade, I should be able to do
Page | 199
so. As for Emi’s honest feelings—I didn’t even have to wrack my
brain to think of them.

“And no matter how many memories I might have, you don’t

remember any of them, Onii-chan!”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why are you apologizing? Nothing will be cleared up even if you

do.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Again, why are you apologizing?! Listen to me!”

“I’m saying that I’m sorry! I want to apologize, so please… don’t cry!”

“What are you talking about?” Emi grinned, opening her mouth so
big that it looked like it couldn’t get any wider. “Of course I’m crying!
Anybody would! Can you blame me for crying?!” Big, round drops of
water fell down to the ground.

The way Emi cries is awfully characteristic of her. Surrounded by all

these memories, almost as if she didn’t know how to cry properly,
she continued to shower the ground with tears. Her big, round eyes,
like a rabbit that had fallen into a trap, were beet red from the tears.

“Don’t come here, you pumpkin! You’re a pumpkin like always, and
your actions were all too suspicious around the people of the same
age or older in the choir! You were only good at looking at people
younger than you, and it was disgusting! You played with me the
most! Even after I moved to Italy, and then the letters stopped
coming! I finally was able to come back to Japan by pure
coincidence! I was always thinking about what to say when we finally
met again!”

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Inside this box she had prepared were all the things she had
gathered two years ago. No matter how much she despaired, before
she could throw it away, before she could step on it, even if she grew
tired of it, she kept those memories close to her.

“But in the end, I’m just a child! No matter how much I remember!
No matter how many memories I make! You didn’t do any of that!
These memories of mine have absolutely no value to you at all!” She
cried as she laughed, cried as she screamed, faced downwards as she
screamed.

She crouched down to the ground, hitting it with her hands. Every
time she did so, the contents of the box shook. Boldly, with no
dignity, she just cried as tears kept flowing. These tears couldn’t be
any further from the evil girl she seemed to be. She may not be an
angel with wings, but she definitely isn’t a devil with a tail, either. In
the end, she’s just a rabbit girl, a space monster.

Every time she raised her voice, her hair waved from the motion. As
if there was an imbalance between the person herself and her will,
strands of her hair around Emi’s head.

“Please, don’t cry…” I reached out for her with my hand.

I was rejected, obviously, but I tried again. I wanted to stop this girl
from crying right now, so I tried again. I really hate seeing girls cry. It
makes me feel like I’ve done something that I’ve regretted in the
past. A faint breeze blew past us, and the sand of the desert inside
my heart started to dance through the air, mixing together with the
remains of my empty memories. I saw a small and old church,
plastered with stone, along with a small backyard full of blooming
lilacs. The twintails space monster was there, crouching down and
crying just like she is now. There was a confused boy there, too,
trying to reach out, but getting rejected. A pleasant breeze blew
past, reminding me that it was an afternoon during early summer.
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“…That’s right. When I first went to the church, at the lilac garden, I
wanted to cheer up a girl who had been scolded by a nun, but that
girl played a trick on me and set me up… She found my weakness and
forced me to become her pro-wrestling partner…”

But there was one part about when she had lost her innocence. She
decided that every little thing is boring, blurting out whatever came
to her mind. Back then, what I said to her was—

“‘Come to our school’s sports festival. That festival is perfect for

rascals like you.’”

Emi raised her head. “…Then what is this?” While she was still wiping
away her tears, she threw a postcard at me.

It’s my writing. My style of writing. My letter. I can say all that for
certain. And that was all I could say. Even when I turned the vase of
my memories upside down, what had happened didn’t come up at
all. It was like someone had stolen it. It was all empty. My head is
empty. As empty as the darkness in the vast universe. So black that it
gave me chills. There were no UFOs or Andromeda around. In this
endless space lived a single, lonely rabbit. Waiting for someone else
to make mochi with, she looked up into the darkness. But nobody
would ever arrive there. On this forgotten star, this forgotten rabbit
would vanish into nothingness. Emi had said as much.

‘Everyone gets lonely from time to time!’

That is true. Everybody gets lonely. And once you’re lonely and sad,
you pray. There’s no reason to compare feelings you have to when
you wish. If you were criticized for that, it would be the same as
being criticized for your feelings as a whole.

“You—” Emi looked at me, muttering. “You actually didn’t care about
me at all. You acted like my Onii-chan, played along with a stupid girl

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like me, and forgot about the promise in the end.” Her voice nearly
vanished.

Injured by reality, like a guinea pig of a rabbit met with defeat and
despair, she clad herself in pain unbefitting of a girl like her. I can’t
even remember her age, so Emi might just be right about all of this. I
might just be the worst kind of man. I forgot something I should have
never forgotten, and I made a girl cry in the process. But even if I was
a bad guy, that doesn’t mean that I have to remain one.

“You’re wrong, Emi.”

“I’m not wrong at all. About anything.”

“You’re wrong. I actually like girls with big breasts. The bigger, the
better. All this time I’ve liked melon-sized tits!”

An awkward silence followed.

“…Huh? What are you talking about? Disgusting…” Emi looked at me

like I was a piece of human waste.

It wasn’t some tsundere reaction like she can’t handle her

embarrassment. This reaction was one of actual disgust. In times like
these, she really is straightforward. Hee hee hee. I feel like crying. I’m
a boy after all.

“But, as of late, I started thinking that a completely flat and even

body isn’t too bad either! I don’t know why, though! I’ve probably
been subliminally brainwashed!” I started shouting.

For Emi’s sake, and for my own. I have to speak before I regret
remaining silent.

“That’s why you’re wrong! I’m not the same as I was before! Even if
I’ve forgotten about you in the past, I will never do so again! I’ll

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never let you be alone anymore! Because you’ve entered my strike
zone for real! I actually love children!”

“…Um, that’s pretty gross.” Emanuella-san truly looked like she was
disgusted at me.

Congratulations! Yokodera-kun has class-changed from a genre-

specific pervert to an all-accepting pervert! Even with the small twin
tailed girl’s ‘Die trash, you smell like pig waste’ harsh gaze, if I think
of this as preparation work before the lickey-lickey, then it’s merely a
reward. I can’t wait to get my reasoning back and rekindle my desire
to kill myself after realizing how much of a pervert I’ve become.
Please don’t try this at home. Okay, everyone?

“Haaaaa… You really are… Well, your head is definitely messed up.”
Emi took two, three deep breaths, taking some serious distance from
me.

Her big, round eyes looked at me like I was dirt on the side of the
street, but the tears had stopped flowing, thank God. I’d rather be
scorned than see a girl cry. Eventually, I might start getting excited by
this kind of treatment, anyway.

“I’m starting to think that it might have been better if you just forgot
about it all. I really don’t wanna get any closer to you… I mean, that
is what you wanted to say? That’s just gross…”

“That’s not true, either!”

With one step, and another step, I slowly approached her. I want to
get my true feelings across to her as much as I can.

“I’m different now from how I was in the past. That’s why… I want to
remember you again from scratch. I want you to play with me again
now. Our future will be even better.”

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“Um, no, that ain’t happening.” Emi immediately retreated farther.

Seeing a small girl like her give me a terrified look was pretty
refreshing. Onii-chan will follow you to the ends of the world. No, I’m
joking. I’m joking, okay? You all must know I am, right? Like the
various stars in the Milky Way, the memories from the treasure box
were scattered on the floor. I felt bad stepping on them to get to
Emi, so I quickly picked them up and put them back into the box. So
that these memories can go back to being true memories. Even if I
have lost them, someone else will surely treasure them.

“…I’m sorry.”

Those words came out of my mouth subconsciously. I didn’t know

who I directed them towards, or for what.

“You honestly are…”

I heard a faint whispering voice and a sigh. I heard the sound of Emi’s
sandals as she walked the path around the giant bell. When she
finished one circle—

“—Um, um, Youto-Onii-chan.” She grinned, speaking in an innocent,

pure, and nostalgic voice. “I feel like my chest has warmed up.”

“Emi…?”

“Your words were like a band-aid for my broken heart. I was really
happy. So happy that I can’t put it into words. Can you say those
words one more time?”

She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her body against
my back. Her sweet, seductive voice reached deeply into my ears.
Hey, what the heck is this development? Did the devoted confession
of Prince Yokodera remove the curse on Emi, and that allowed her to

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turn back into an innocent little girl? I can see the movie adaptation!
It’ll be a full-body dehydration, guaranteed!

With tears leaking from the upper and lower half of my body, I
started shivering in emotion, and I gave a perfect score of 200% to
the fanservice scene going on, leaving me unable to respond to all of
this stimulation. But when I turned around, the person who had said
me that was fiddling with her phone.

“…What are you doing?”

She grinned as she laughed and showed me the phone screen. On

the screen, I could see the words ‘Recording Complete’, and her
finger was on the Play button. The words that this recording played
back had a soft tone, but were utterly grotesque. Is this Yokodera-
kun? No, that’s undoubtedly a lolicon. What am I saying? I guess I’ll
turn myself in.

“Moron! So disgusting! What is wrong with your head?! Now you’re

totally cornered! Who should I show this to? A teacher? A police
officer? Or maybe—Tsuu-chan?”

“Hey hey hey hey hey?! How evil! Abusing other people’s good-will
like that…!”

I can hear the downfall and collapse of the veteran lawyer team. This
kind of proof is impossible to beat. Some Yuki Onna-chan in the
distance is boiling with rage. This is a lost court case. But just when I
accepted this cruel reality…

“That’s right, I am evil. Now you’ve remembered one thing about

me, Onii-chan.”

Emi put the open palm of her hand over her mouth to laugh, and I
couldn’t help but feel relieved. Lord knows why.

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“Now what else should I teach you from now on?”

“I think that self-study is the best way to go here, Sensei!”

“Well. Since you’re a pervert, I feel like you’ll destroy your own body
enough as long as I stick with you. No matter what happens, you’re
an idiot, so your life will be over soon enough.”

“No, wait. Hold on a second.” I tried distancing myself from Emi.

But Emi kept clinging to my back, giving me no chance. On the

contrary, she clung to me even tighter.

“Onii-chan. Don’t you want to play with Emi…?”

I could see her dampened eyes taking a peek at my face. Her hair
was sparkling, her eyes dazzling, as the scent of perfume arrived at
my nose. Being a lolicon isn’t so bad all the time, is it?

“Wait, you can’t deceive me like this! I bet you’re taking pictures at
this very moment!”

“Hee hee hee. I love you, Youto-Onii-chan!”

Emi hung down from my neck, laughing like a devilish angel. Of

course, to me, that wasn’t a 100% perfect smile. But it was lovable,
and that was just like her.

“…Now then, let’s start the ‘What kind of excuse can we make to the
teachers’ corner!”

After cleaning up the path around the small room with the bells in it,
there was only one problem left. We were desperately trying to
come up with anything that would let us defuse this chaotic
situation. The challenger is Yokodera-kun, who has an awful
reputation with the teachers, and the outsider Emanuella-san is
acting as the advisor. Let’s see what they can come up with!

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“Trying to smooth things over would just be more weird. Using
certain methods, you can get your feelings across without having to
explain everything.”

“Ohh? Do tell.”

“Something like ‘Emi… Emi really didn’t want that… But, sniff, Youto-
Onii-chan… just… Uuuu…’ should be fine. Don’t you think?”

“I know that one person would be able to get away with that, but
there’s also one person who’d be tied up with no more room to
make excuses!”

“Isn’t that fine? Things will work out eventually.”

The advisor looked at the scenery around her in boredom,

abandoning any pretense of helping me out further. This girl thinks
that she can get through with anything just because she’s in a better
position than me! She’s totally right, too! Being small like her sure is
a benefit. If only I could turn back into a child. Back then, things were
great. I could cling to the daycare workers as much as I wanted. It
truly was the golden times of my life. All that’s left is an ashen road…

After a brief silence, Emi spoke. “…Hey, was I the only thing you
forgot about?” She still had her gaze glued to the foreign world
beneath her as she muttered these words.

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Just a problem of pride and all.”

“Huh?”

“I was just wondering if you forgot about other important things

besides me.”

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Being told this, I gave it some thought. Well… of course I had no idea.
Asking people who are bad at remembering things if they don’t
remember certain events or people is kind of a paradox. I was just
puzzled, and Emi directed a suspicious gaze my way.

“…For example, this 100% perfect smile girl or whatever. Have you
never met anyone else like that?”

I grew even more confused. I don’t get what she’s on about.

“A 100% girl? Didn’t you make a wish to the Cat God for that?”

“No. I just heard that I could borrow the 100% perfect smile from the
girl you liked before.”

The girl I liked! What a wonderful sound! Experiencing your first love
in high school for a classmate, and then meeting them again years
later at a class reunion. The romance starts to be rekindled right
away! It’s a cake-filled situation unfolding over the entire area! Let’s
make that a concept for the next video we’re making, okay?

“It pains me to say it, but I’ve never been in love with a girl before.
Even that 100% perfect smile I only came up with because I saw
you—Eh? Huh?”

Huuuuh? Hold on. My memories are going crazy. I’m experiencing a

flashback. A children’s playground. A tunnel through a hedge. A cat
mask. A secret chance meeting. A comfortable—100% laughing
voice.

“What… was that just now…?”

A happy dream that shouldn’t be related at all to my own life came

flashing up in the back of my mind, only to disappear again. Even
when I tried to bring it back, I couldn’t remember. The laughing voice
is being overwritten by something. It’s just my imagination, right? I

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mean, I definitely don’t have any memories like that. My head
started to hurt, and I leaned against the fence.

“Onii-chan…?” Emi muttered in concern.

Don’t look at me like that. I’m sure you must be getting the wrong
idea about something.

“Also, where did you even hear about this? About the girl I liked or
borrowing her smile. Who did you hear that from?”

“Why would you even have to ask?” Emi blinked in confusion and
answered with a tone like I had asked where the sun rises from.
“From the Cat God, of course.”

“Th-The Cat God?! That thing can speak?!” My soul nearly jumped
out of my chest from shock.

Emi can communicate with the Cat God? How? Shouldn’t that be
something reserved for the Tsutsukakushi Family?

“…Onii-chan, are you really okay? What are you talking about? How
would I know about the Cat God’s rules if it couldn’t speak?”

“I see… No, wait, that isn’t really the problem here…”

“Right when I came back to this town, the Cat God got into contact
with me and forced that plush toy onto me. ‘I’ll grant you whatever
wish you might have, and I’ll start with his 100% perfect smile’—and
all that.”

“Eh, really?”

“It told me that I could just wish for whatever I wanted if I wasn’t
happy. I didn’t think I’d need it, but when I met you, I just…”

“So that thing did this…”

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This Cat God seems to have quite a lot of character customization at
its disposal. Is it really that bored?

“Didn’t you talk to the Cat God yourself, Onii-chan?”

“Eh?”

“Weren’t you the one looking for Yaji-san? The Cat God told me, so I
obeyed its orders and delivered the rabbit to Ponta’s house.”

…Wait. Wait a second. What are you talking about? It’s true that I
was looking for Yaji-san, and Emi delivered her to Ponta. But, the one
I asked to find Yaji-san was—

Thud. I heard a dull sound beneath us. The wooden, thick as an

orangutan’s arm, bolt had been taken off, and the door opened.
After that, I heard soft footsteps approaching us coming up the stone
spiral stairs. Step step. Step step. Step step. They created a
comfortable rhythm as they approached us. The wind that had
previously ruled this world above the skies suddenly died down.
Aside from the calm sound of footsteps, everything else was
wrapped in silence. One bird was chirping near us, but nothing else
was to be heard. When did the voices beneath us disappear? Where
did the teachers go?

Emi’s face tightened up. “It’s the Cat God,” she muttered. She hid
behind me, tightly holding onto my sleeve. Finally, the person came
in sight. The first thing I saw was chestnut-colored, wavy hair. After
that, her well-formed eyelashes, her gemstone-like eyes, and her
pink cheeks—

“Did you manage to successfully bring things to an end again,

Yokodera-kun? Thanks to me. Again?”

Only Azuki Azusa’s mouth smiled as she came up the stairs.

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*

“I read ‘The Happy Prince’,” is what Azuki Azusa had told me.

It’s a children’s tale written by my respected Oscar Wilde. I lent the

book to both Azuki Azusa and Tsutsukakushi. It’s a precious yet
painful story. So much so that even Tsutsukakushi got engrossed in it
and created her own song about it. Two individuals appear in this
story: The statue of the prince and a small swallow. The beautiful
statue, adorned with jewels and gemstones, wants to give these
ornaments to the poor. The swallow helps him in doing so. Without
any restraint on time or day, the swallow would help. The season
changed to winter, and the swallow couldn’t migrate to the south, so
it died. At the same time, the prince’s statue, since it was now
gemstone-less, was taken down and burned. The heart of the statue
and the remains of the swallow were taken up to heaven by God.

“What a happy story, right? I’m sure the prince must have been
satisfied.” Azuki Azusa gave a faint smile.

In this world, this heaven, she watched the birds flying through the
blue sky before turning around towards me.

“But what about the swallow? It was devoted to the noble, ideal, yet
foolish prince. The swallow who didn’t have her wish granted—was
she truly happy?”

“…What are you trying to say by that?”

“You don’t know? Well, I figured as much. You would never

understand. And that is why I am here.” Azuki Azusa gave a faint
smile.

Her gemstone-like eyes were narrowed, and they trapped me. They
trapped us.

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“It’s always like this. Always. Always. Always always always always.
The swallow always draws the joker. The saved Prince is happy. The
people who were saved are happy as well. But what about the
swallow? Why would nobody come save the swallow? Even though
she saved the Prince the most, why won’t anyone care about her?
Hey, tell me!” Azuki Azusa gave a faint smile.

Her lips took the form of something inhuman, her cheeks softened
up in an inhuman way, and her face contorted into some kind of
imitation of what could be called a smile.

“Who… are you?”

“How cruel. You can’t even tell with the person right in front of you?
It’s Azuki Azusa. Your—Friend, right?”

“The Azuki Azusa I know would never make a face like that. She
doesn’t talk that way, either. Who are you?!”

“…Seen through already, huh?” With these words, Azuki Azusa

covered her face with the palms of her hands.

Treating her face like a potter would his artwork, she moved her
hands around her face, pulling on it, pressing down on it, and finally
removed her hands.

“Fufufu. I was just joking.” Azuki Azusa wasn’t smiling anymore.

It was as if she had been wearing a mask this entire time. Neither her
lips nor her cheeks were moving. No part of her face was moving at
all.

“I just felt like exchanging a bit of banter. Ever since I entered this
girl, the color of the world has changed drastically for me, giving me
the urge to jest. I hope you forgive my impoliteness. This is our first
meeting, isn’t it? Or do you count what happened last month? What

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happened at the storehouse must have been a catastrophe for you,
as well.”

With Azuki Azusa’s face, Azuki Azusa’s voice, and Azuki Azusa’s body,
the Cat God inside her gave a brief greeting. It was very talkative. As
if It felt relieved that It could speak the truth, It kept talking on and
on with an unchanging expression, like water gushing out of Its
mouth. It reached out Its hand like It was going to make a toast at a
party for the upper caste, only to clap Its hands together at the sight
of me staying reluctant.

“I know your tastes. I’m the Cat God. Meow, treat me well, Master,
nya… Would that have been better? Sadly, I6 am a being that has
existed since old times, so you could say that I’m a bit behind with
these trends. Eventually, I’ll face this challenge as well, so rest
assured.” It spoke nonchalantly.

“You… Why are you…?”

If I didn’t intervene, I felt like It might have continued talking forever.

“Why are you in there?!”

“You ask the weirdest things, I see. Because the girl asked for this, of
course. She wished for a new self. That’s why I entered her. To fill the
void of her new self.” It answered like the answer to the question
was obvious.

That’s right, this thing always fulfills any wish brought to It. And
always in a way the person didn’t wish for.

“There’s no need to worry. I’m still the Cat God from the
Tsutsukakushi Lineage. The greater half. I could just warmly watch
over this girl all I wanted. It’s just like she wished for. If there’s
something that she can’t bear herself, I just jump in as her new self.
The one who contacted you during the incident with the rabbit was
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me, and the one who made you catch on to the feeling of discomfort
related to the swimsuits was also me. Indeed, I even read the letter
for her.” Azuki Cat slowly narrowed Its eyes, holding Its palm up into
the air.

Immediately, the envelope appeared right in Its hand. The one with
the shiba inu seal, with the writing paper inside. It’s the letter I put
into Azuki Azusa’s shoe locker. The object that was supposed to clear
up the misunderstandings she had about Steel-san and I.

“‘At the end of it all, I still want to stay the same as we were before.
Yours truly.’—Fufu, this really does sound like you. Your untainted
honest feelings come right across, and every time I read it, it pains
my heart… to see you act like a fool.” Azuki Cat ripped the letter into
shreds.

First into two pieces. Then four, then eight.

“Let’s stay the same as always. If there is no change, then there is no

future. That is just how you feel. I see, and then? The girl must have
known that for a long time. What kind of salvation is supposed to be
for her in that message?”

Eventually, the letter had turned into paper waste, and vanished
from Azuki Cat’s hands. There was no ill will, no goodwill, no malice,
no affection. There was only the calm will of the Cat God, devoid of
any emotion.

“Listen up. The girl didn’t want to hear your honest feelings. She
wanted your feelings to change. You surely aren’t conceited enough
to think that everything would be fine as long as you voiced your
honest feelings, right? I’m shocked to see you still haven’t
understood the proper use of facade and honest feelings.”

“You don’t have any right to say that…”

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“In all fairness, you can’t say that no blame lies with the girl, either.
After all, she’s never been able to speak up about what lies at the
center of it. She hints at the importance of things when talking with
other people, then throws up her hands and gives up. She has quite
the tendency to fall into self-contradiction.”

“…So that’s what you used to control Azuki Azusa?”

“Now now. I’m here to help her, you know? It’s true that I ended up
possessing her in the process of solving this little problem, but you all
were the ones who made the wishes to me. And so did she. She
came into my storehouse, never considering the consequences. If
she were to wish for me to cancel her prayer, that would indeed
revert everything back to normal. You should be thankful to me.
Don’t be ridiculous and criticize me for it.”

“……” I opened my mouth, but closed it again right away.

As long as I can’t find the right words, I’ll just be acting absurd, like I
have a thick head. Seeing the girl I knew using an unfamiliar manner
of speaking, unfamiliar gestures, and unfamiliar expressions all were
scary enough to make me want to shake in fear. The Cat God which
always had us wrapped around its finger was now right in front of
me. And yet I felt like the distance between us was unbearably far. I
felt the urge to step back even further, but I realized that I couldn’t.

Because behind me was a small girl. She had the face of an angel,
with apathetic eyes, and her twintails shook like a rabbit’s ears.

“…That’s a lie.” Emi said boldly.

Hiding behind my back, but without taking a step back herself, she
clung to my waist, trying to withstand this situation.

Page | 216
“Oh? And what exactly are you trying to say? I tried my best to keep
things as frank and as straightforward as possible, but if there’s been
any error, then feel free to point it out right away.”

“You—The Cat God being fair is an absolute lie! There’s an

exception! This scenery is the very proof of that! I cancelled all my
wishes, and yet the school isn’t back to normal!”

“I see, I see…”

“Also, and I’ve told you this before, but the way I was talking before
was super annoying! Moron! Idiot! Good-for-nothing! Your Dad has
pumpkin underwear!”

That being said, I’m not so sure about letting her rub her cheek
against my back as she keeps that verbal abuse train going. It makes
me feel like I’m the bad guy saying all this to Azuki Azusa, so I’d kind
of appreciate it if she just stopped. Emi most likely only knows the
Cat God, but not Azuki Azusa. That’s why when she sees her like this,
she still only can respond with awe and disgust. Unlike me, she
doesn’t step on the brakes when it comes to this disgust. She says
everything she wants.

“Fufufu. Not mincing one’s words is the special right of youngsters.

Naturally, I won’t blame you for lack of thought.” Azuki Neko laughed
with a stony face. “As I’ve told you, there is no exception. Everything
that has been decided is not an exception. The ones who bring
exceptions to the table are you. This wish concerning Italy has a two-
step structure to it. It is your wish, and at the same time it isn’t.
Basically, in order to grant the wish of the person at the root of it all,
I brought you here, and then used you to bring Italy here.”

“I-I just came here of my own free will—”

“You just think that you actually prayed to me. You were but a mere
tool, a part of the relay in the path towards the goal. Even if the pen
Page | 217
is moved by malice, that doesn’t mean that the words written down
change in any way, does it? The successor of the Tsutsukakushi
Family leaving Japan is something that is wished for still, unrelated to
your own will. Even if you try to cancel the wish, the root of it is not
influenced in the slightest.” Azuki Cat put one hand into the air and
summoned a pen, just like It used in the metaphor.

It held it in her hand, only to shake it for the pen to vanish. As if

explaining the workings of the world to a student, Azuki Cat spoke
with utmost courtesy.

“Idiot, I say. I… There’s no way…!”

I grabbed Emi’s hand. The hand that clung to my waist, shaking. It

felt soft and gave off the warmth of a human being, so I tightly
grasped it and grit my teeth. I faced the Cat God.

“No, you are a liar after all. You said that it’s ‘being wished for still’,
right?”

“Fufu, I did say that indeed. And what about it?”

“Steel-san—Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi has tried to cancel her wish

countless times! She doesn’t want to go to Italy! Doesn’t this mean
you’re just playing around with her wish?!”

“…Now that I can’t let slide. If that were true, then that means the
person who wished for it wasn’t the successor after all. And if so,
what is the other possibility here?” Azuki Cat put Its hand to Its
forehead, shaking Its head in disbelief, only for It to raise that very
hand and hold it out.

“Yokodera-kun—You, exactly you, have prayed towards me.”

She pointed right at my face.

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“Ah, that’s right. You don’t remember. Nor do you remember the
reason why you can’t remember. However, many years ago, you
definitely wished for this. You said the words ‘I wish that
Tsutsukakushi Tsukushi could go to Italy once she’s all grown up.’
Next month, this very successor will become 18 years old. I had my
little relay-point come here in order to have this wish of yours
granted.”

“That’s… Why would I…?”

“Do you doubt me? Then there’s one thing you can do to make
certain of it. Just say ‘I cancel my wish.’ Then the truth will reveal
itself in front of your eyes. However—” Azuki Cat lowered Its finger
and pointed at Emi, who was still clinging to my waist. “The tool that
had been drawn here as a means to fulfill your wish will be removed
from the scene.” It spoke as if It were speaking of documents in an
office.

“H-Huh? What are you talking about! There’s no way I’d just…!”

“You should be aware of it as well. There was barely any chance of

you ever returning to Japan. Did you never think that it was weird
that you were suddenly allowed to return? It was like you were
brought back here by a miracle, by strength that humans cannot
hope to understand… Did you never once feel that way?”

“…Never! Not once did I ever…!”

“You don’t have to accept it. As soon as Yokodera-kun takes back his
wish, you’ll lose any chance to protest, and this chance will remain
wasted forever.”

“S-Someone like you…!” Emi’s hand trembled inside my palm.

She was clearly shaking, desperately clinging to my back. And, with a

shaky voice, the rabbit spoke.
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“Someone like you… Can just go over there, then!”

In that moment I felt the worst possible premonition run through my

body.

“—You wished for it, didn’t you? Right in front of me.”

The Cat God covered Azuki Azusa’s face with the palm of her hand,
massaging it, and changed her expression. It pulled her lips upwards
and made her smile as if It had been waiting for those words all this
time.

“Your wish has reached my ears. Naturally, now that you’ve wished
for it, I have to grant it. Just as you wished, I will go ‘over there’.”

One step. Azuki Cat moved away from us.

“However, since I live together with this girl inside her body—I will
have to go over there in her body, see?”

Another step. Azuki Azusa moved backwards. She moved away from
here, over there. Away from the path where we stood towards the
fence. Past this fence, over ‘there,’ was nothing. Only a bottomless
abyss opening beneath our eyes. If you were to fall down from this
heaven, all that would wait for you would be life’s BAD END.

“But Yokodera-kun? Are you really fine with this?”

Another step. There was no more space left. Azuki Cat’s legs were
floating as It leaned against the small iron fence.

“The tool that has been teleported here has doomed your friend. Do
you not feel anything at all? If you were to remove this bothersome
tool, then the wish that she uttered, which is currently threatening
the life of your friend, would vanish as well, right?”

“Remove…”

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“It’s simple. You just have to cancel your wish, and let me say ‘I’ve
heard your prayer’. With that, the wish of going to Italy—as well as
the deletion of the tool—will be swiftly undone.”

The final step.

It sat on the iron fence, leaning backwards. Azuki Azusa’s wavy hair,
which had such a smooth feel, was waving in the air, fluttering. The
only thing that kept her balance on the iron fence was the backs of
her knees. The greater half of her body was already in the open air,
and one hand had let go of the fence.

“Will you watch over this girl leaving for over there, or will you
cancel your own wish and lose the tool? The choice is obvious, right?
Since this is all your fault, you have to reflect on your actions, and
show your sincerity to the swallow. Sincerity, sincerity, sincerity,
sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity,
sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity, sincerity,
sincerity!”

With Azuki Azusa’s face, with Azuki Azusa’s voice, with Azuki Azusa’s
body, with her long eyelashes, with her radiating pink cheeks, with
her gemstone-like eyes, with the grace she was blessed with, with
her flat bodyline, with the entire shape of Azuki Azusa, the Cat God
continued to laugh.

“…Onii-chan!” The rabbit clung to my back. “You can’t…!”

With only these words, as if she was desperately trying to not let me
go, she embraced my body. There’s the girl whose body has been
invaded by the Cat God, her life in danger, and also the girl who has
been used by the Cat God, her true will being denied. When asked
who to choose, I—

“…”

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I saw small tears in the corners of Azuki Cat’s eyes. It might have just
been the light playing tricks on me. Or maybe a bit of dust might
have gotten in there. Who really cares? What’s important is that
Azuki Azusa is crying. I honestly knew that the day would come when
I would have to face the Cat God. But I assumed that it would just be
‘one day’. If I don’t make this ‘one day’ right now, I’ll never be able to
move on as a human being.

But how? I don’t have any power. I don’t have any means of rebelling
against the Cat God. I’m just a puny human. I can’t summon fire out
of my hand like a manga protagonist, nor can I save & load a file like
a game protagonist. I’m clearly in the wrong medium here. What I
can do is heavily limited. Can I really jump at the Cat God? Even
though it’s Azuki Azusa? Should I just cave to Azuki Azusa’s will? Even
though it’s the Cat God inside? The Cat God and Azuki Azusa are in
the same body. I can’t tell who is who here.

But that’s right. In both cases, Azuki Azusa is at the root of it all. She
acts like a rich lady with far too much pride for her own good, she’s
often hard to deal with, she’s terribly flat, she’s a total crybaby, she’s
crazy flat, she has a bad sleeping posture, she’s horribly unlucky,
she’s flat as you can be, yet she’s kind and considerate to her friends,
she’s flat as a cutting board, and she’s flat as well, not to mention
that she’s really flat. Still, at the end of it all, she’s my precious Azuki
Azusa.

Am I scared enough to shake in my boots? Is she so far away that I’m

unable to move? As if I care about any of that.

“—Cancel it.” I muttered.

“Very well. That is how things are supposed to be.” Azuki Cat
smirked.

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Its movement, which could have brought two from one heaven to
another, stopped abruptly. The palm of Its hand, which had
previously been trying to grasp the blue sky, slowly descended to our
level. The round arena, the hill with the ruins, the cathedral,
everything started to vanish like an illusion. Even the clocktower at
our feet changed its appearance. The world is changing.

“Onii… chan…” A faint voice rang out.

Like a trapped and hurt rabbit, the girl next to me resigned herself
and let go of my hand.

“—I told you, right? That I wouldn’t let go of you again.” I gripped her
hand one last time with determination and started running.

Inside this world, which was slowly but steadily returning to

normality, ordinaryness, and everyday routine, I ran towards the
Stony Cat that was grinning at me. I ran down the path surrounding
the giant bell.

Sincerity. Just as the Cat God said, that’s what’s important right now.

‘…If you show me proof of your sincerity, I don’t mind.’

‘Sincerity? How?’

‘For example… I know. In the shoujo manga I read a while ago, the
evil prince is reformed, and he kindly—’

Those were the words Azuki Azusa had told me before. In the chapel-
shaped PE storage shed, or even on the phone last summer. I am
Yokodera. Prince Yokodera. Even though I act like a pervert, I can
also act like a prince.

“Fufu. You’re not misguided even until the very end. That is very
much like you. I can’t wait to see what you show me next. It makes
my heart race.”
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I pulled Azuki Cat’s arm closer to me, and right before Emi would
vanish…

“Then I will cancel your wish regarding Italy. I have heard your pra—”

…I kissed her.

“—Mmgh?!”

It wasn’t a kind kiss for a princess. It was a space docking to rob her
of any means of speaking freely. Though this wasn’t the scenario I
had been hoping for, the situation didn’t allow me any other option.

“M-Moron! What are you… doing to me… Mmmgh?!”

The Cat God’s words disappeared mid-way, and I tried my best to

keep Its mouth shut. Its boasting about there being no exception and
all that was ruined by this very moment. My legs shook violently, the
surroundings turned pale white, and the restoration of the school
froze in place, leaving me unable to even figure out what was going
on.

But even if Earth were to explode on this very day, I would not
remove my lips from this mouth.

“Sto… No… Don’t… Mmmmm!!”

I’m pretty sure Azuki Cat was crying. Almost like It was a normal
bokkuko7. Then again, this might just be acting on Its part. And I can’t
forgive that. Maybe I should put my tongue in there to make sure? I
have no idea, honestly. Complaining in the middle of a kiss is mad
manners, anyway. Also, kisses tasting like strawberries is definitely a
lie. Lips taste like lips. It tastes like Azuki Azusa. I think it does.
Maybe? I really have no idea.

And thinking about it anymore than this will be impossible. Depicting

it is already crossing my level of mental fortitude right about now.
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Between the girls in videos and 3D girls, there’s a trench deeper than
the Mariana Trench. For a first-time driver, everything is too erotic
for me.

“Uuu… Uuuuu…!”

I don’t even know much time passed. Before I had realized it, all
resistance had vanished.

“Eh, eh, eh, why, where, here, eh, Yoko, eh, kiss.”

A more comfortable expression returned to Azuki Azusa’s face, and

her eyes looked like they were spinning. I was pretty sure that the
threat of the Cat God must have vanished by then. But for some
reason, I didn’t feel like separating my lips just yet.

“—Ehehehe.”

Azuki Azusa closed her eyes, wiped her tears away, and smiled
happily. In this snow white world, the blessing of heavenly bells rang
in the distance.

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1 A quote from the protagonist of the manga Slam Dunk, but the
right and left hand were changed here.

2
https://www.viewingjapaneseprints.net/texts/topics_faq/mutamaga
wa.html

3 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27y%C5%8Dsh%C5%AB

4 St Mark’s clocktower located on the north side of the Piazza San

Marco in Venice

5 Shakaiteki ni wa Shindemo Kimi wo! > a rough translation of the

title

6 Cat God uses ‘Boku’, which is a pronoun that is used mostly by

boys, but we don’t know gender so we’ll keep using ‘It’ for it (this
gets highly confusing so please don’t attack with torches and
pitchforks if we miss one).

7 A young woman that uses the male ‘Boku’ as a pronoun.

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Chapter 5: First Direct Encounter
Let’s talk about what happened after that. When I came to my
senses, I was sitting in the grass in the school’s courtyard. The marble
water fountain was gone, and the cafe veranda had vanished. Only
the old, familiar basketball court stood there.

‘Classes are about to start!’ I heard a voice saying, followed by

another going ‘I’m coming right now!’ I heard footsteps walking
down the cliché and average connecting hallways. I heard the sound
of a normal door opening. I heard normal cheering voices.

A pleasant fall breeze blew past me, making the curtains of the
windows flutter above me. I wonder where the two of them are—I
looked around and blinked in confusion.

“Huh…?”

In this world, which had finally turned back to normal, the

clocktower was still there. Maybe it wasn’t allowed to turn back. The
top part of the seventh building still had the small belfry. However,
the statue of the Stony Cat had vanished from on top of it. That day I
visited the Tsutsukakushi Household, and the cat statue had also
vanished from the storehouse.

I wonder where the Cat God wandered off to. When you consider
the law of conservation of mass, anything that has vanished has to
appear somewhere else. That’s right. When you consider this law,
there’s yet another problem that hasn’t been taken care of yet. Of
course I’m talking about the Azuki Caldera’s mysterious appearance
of cleavage. If that isn’t the work of the Cat God, then maybe she’s
used some manmade items? Azuki Azusa has to stay a flatty, or so is
the opinion of the Yokodera 100 People Committee’s main faction.
‘But this is just too painful!’ is what a small part of a radical faction is

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emphasizing. Yokodera-kun using world geography science to
express his personal feelings is quite a rare phenomenon.

…What were we talking about again? Ah, right, the Cat God.

Is that Cat God still inside Azuki Azusa, or did it wander off to a
nearby shrine? I observed Azuki Azusa for a while after that, but I
couldn’t come up with a proper conclusion. As for why—

“A while ago, you know, well, like an Cambrian explosion, anyway it

was pretty crazy, but, no, wait, that was a dream… A dream!
Definitely a dream! Don’t come near me!”

That was short-lived, though. The barking puppy soon approached

me on her own again.

“I-I’ll be the one who approaches you! So just wait! Wait right there!
I’m coming over right now! You’d better wait right here!”

But in the end, she kept a balance of three steps forward, three steps
back. I really wonder where she’s heading from here on out. Just
thinking about it honestly makes my head hurt, so I ended up asking
Tsutsukakushi for advice. She said that she needed to talk about a
few things. She brought truth serum with her, for a reason I didn’t
understand. But Tsutsukakushi was her same self as always.

“I decided to go on an adventure to find my honest feelings and

expressions.”

“Eh? That’s a bit sudden.”

“…There’s no deeper meaning to it. I just felt the urge to get them
back.”

She apparently had awakened to her duty of correcting this twisted

story, and made herself awful busy. Even when I promised I’d help
her out, she didn’t seem convinced.
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“You can just play with Emi-san and her perfect smile you love love
love so much.”

Far from her previous control-freak orientation, she started showing

signs of a change towards the laissez-faire. Don’t be like that. I’ll be
lonely. Also, if you were wondering about the aforementioned space
twintails monster…

“…Pumpkin. Don’t show me stuff that’s bad for my education!”

I was told as such, and then Emi took time off from my lecture
courses. Did she really get embarrassed from that? She really is still a
baby. When I told her this, saying that I had climbed the stairs to
adulthood while I smoked an imaginary cigarette, she mailed a few
of my dark past postcards to my parents, so I was forced to
participate in a questionable family gathering. Her personality really
is truly awful.

Since there’s still a lot of things I still don’t know about her, I’m trying
to catch up. For example, I visited her at the church’s choir nearby.
Slow and steady wins the race, or so I’d like to believe.

If possible, I would have loved to bring Azuki Azusa with me. Though
Emi might be against it. Ah, now that I think about it, aren’t these
three in a deadlock right now? Like being negatively aware of each
other, or being in a love-hate relationship. A golden triangle sounds
pretty cool. Or if you put it in worse terms, you could call it the
Bermuda Triangle. I wonder who’s going to end up missing? Me, I
guess. Oh nooooo!

…Steel-san? She’s been calling me on my phone pretty often as of

late. She asks for advice concerning the future of the track-and-field
club, or advice for the culture festival. Then again, she’s never
spoken to me about her entrance exam studies. I guess it’s a
forbidden topic for her.

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“Still, calling from a landline phone is bad for my shoulders. I caught
a glimpse in a pamphlet about this before. Apparently you can set up
an address book on a mobile phone. You already knew that? I see. So
I have to record every person I know there. Even with those who I
can’t really get to share their number with me, so… you know,
right?”

In short: ‘I’m buying a phone, so give me the younger Yokodera

brother’s phone number.’ I guess I’ll have to get a separate phone
just to use for Steel-san-related calls. Someone please send help.

Time passed like this, and we arrived on a Sunday afternoon in the

beginning of October.

“It sure is peaceful…”

I was relaxing on the sofa in my home’s living room, watching some

TV. I actually had some free time at my disposal. I had no plans, there
was nobody contacting me, there was nothing to worry about it. You
know what they usually call this?

That’s right: The calm before the storm.

There’s so many things that I keep thinking about. The Cat God, Italy,
or even—the Yokodera-kun that I should know about. This story
starts when I found an alien living inside my body.

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Afterword
In Indonesian, the word ‘I’m studying’ is ‘Belajar!’. But what exactly
do we gain from this? Discussing but one word on purpose like this is
too simplistic and hasty, giving us no proper sense of judgement. But
on the topic of the Indonesian language, there are a lot of words that
just repeat the same sounds over and over. As an example, we have
‘You’re welcome’, which is ‘sama sama’; ‘walk’, which is ‘jalan-jalan’;
‘dolphin’, which is ‘lumba-lumba’.

That reminds me, the current president of the Republic of Indonesia,

in the year 2012 and month of May, is named Susilo ‘Bambang1’
Yudhoyono. If we take the word that has the same meaning as ‘Right
away’, and repeat it, it sounds like ‘ChupaChupa’. Chupa chupa2.
Somehow, the sound of this makes my heart race. Languages are
truly wonderful.

Now let us assume that two cute Indonesian sisters are attending
your school. They’re passionate about their studies, but they have
something they don’t understand during classes one day, and have
the habit of ‘I’m studying’ ‘right away’. And now, you, as their friend,
want to invite them out for something.

‘…Sorry, we’re busy today.’

‘Do you have some business?’

‘Onii-chan and I will belajar chupa chupa—wait what are you doing?!
At least let me finish my sentence! Hentikan! Hentikan Hentai!’ (And
this will be the greeting this time).

Hello everyone, this is Sagara Sou.

I hereby bring you the third installment of the youth graffiti ‘The
Invigorating Prince and the Stony Cat’. I am terribly sorry that we had
to postpone the release. It is thanks to everyone who helped me that
Page | 233
we managed to release this volume safely. And I have something else
that I have to be thankful for. As some of you might already be aware
of, Okomeken-sama will be responsible for the manga for this series
in the Monthly Comic Alive magazine! Amazing! It’s so amazing that I
can’t believe it!

If you take the excellent and cute illustrations, add a comical touch,
things don’t even end there. We’ll get the sense of atmosphere of a
damp and moist manga composition. It truly is a hybrid made in
heaven. Even a coworker of mine gave me a call and said ‘This one’s
amazing, I tell you. It’s definitely going to be even funnier and more
interesting than the source material, it’ll be so great—’ so I hung up
on him. All jokes aside, I really recommend it, so please check out the
details in the magazine.

Then again, this just means that I have to work even harder on the
source material as well. The center and details of the fourth
volume—are still written in the stars! In the afterword of the second
volume, I wrote basically what the subplot of the next volume would
be, which earned me a great scolding from my editor in the sense of
‘You can’t just decide on the contents when nothing has been
written in stone yet. Are you a Messiah? Are you Jesus? Are you
going to save the world?’, so I hung up that call as well and blocked
all incoming calls. Either way, I’ve decided to bring you the next
volume by the end of summer.

That being said, now I have to stop saying that Chapter 0 is unrelated
to the main story. I’m thinking of how to compile this properly, but
there also exists a chance that my editor will give me a call the
second he reads this very sentence.

If anything, Kantoku-sama’s illustrations are the true support in this

business. I don’t think it is an overstatement to say that Emi’s
personality has come alive in the illustrations provided by him. I

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made my phone background an illustration of her, and I’m not afraid
to answer phone calls anymore.

Finally, to all the people who have helped me this time around as
well, to the people that I have bothered this time as well, and to all
my readers out there, thank you very much and I am terribly sorry.
Please treat me well in the future.

I hope sincerely that we can see each other again in the near future.

Hentikan Hentai! (Greeting)

Sagara Sou

1 In the original, it’s ‘Banban’, hence the repetition of sounds.

2 Basically the onomatopoeia of ‘sucking on something’, especially in

erotic media

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Credits
Translation Group: Cclaw Translation

PDF is done by JLN

Page | 236
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