University of Maryland, College Park

Pearl Diving Assignment 2

Mark Rybski
Communication for Project Management: ENCE424
Dr. Shana Webster-Trotman
March 28, 2024
A. Email to team
Team, we heard back from our developer and the senior engineer, and they are not satisfied with
our work on the ground floor of unit number 14. The foundation is not level which we all know
is a major issue. We will need to rip out the flooring and do major repairs on the subfloor. By my
calculations, the outside wall dips on the right side by 1/2 an inch. This mistake is going to set
the project back a few weeks and will be a substantial increase in cost. The engineering team
wants to meet with us next week to discuss what went wrong and get our thoughts on how best to
resolve it.
I know the workforce cuts have put a lot of stress on everyone. The timelines are aggressive, and
we are all working long hours. In addition, the plans from the engineers have changed several
times and the specifications are not the same for every unit. I realize all of this creates stressful
and challenging circumstances; however, we have been in situations like this before and it has
never impacted performance. Our reputation for high-quality work and meeting deadlines is why
we were all selected for this job. We need to keep our eye on the ball and remember the big
picture of who will be impacted if we sacrifice quality and do not meet the deadline.
The developer has made a commitment to the municipality to finish the apartment complex by
June. This timing is important to provide affordable housing for families before the school year
begins. This project is particularly significant to me from a personal perspective. I grew up living
in lower-income housing and I know how it feels to live in substandard conditions. I never
thought about who built the apartment complex I lived in, and if they cared about the quality of
work, but I do now. I wish we had a team like ours to build the apartments I lived in growing up.
I recall the floors be uneven and the plumbing always breaking down. When I decided to be a
general contractor, I promised myself to always deliver the highest quality for the tenants.
We cannot meet this deadline without 110% of your focus, energy, and enthusiasm. You are all
top in your field and have the expertise needed for this project. Prior to our meeting with the
engineering team, let’s sit down and discuss what went wrong. We need to ensure we do not have
any other mishaps that delay the timeline. I am very interested to hear your thoughts if there is
anything we can do to catch up and meet the June timeframe without sacrificing quality.
I have confidence in your ability and am proud to be your team leader. I know we can turn this
around and make a difference for these families.
Thank you for your support and I look forward to figuring this out together.
Best regards, Mark

B. One important concept/technique

Throughout the semester I have learned a lot of valuable concepts and techniques from the group
activities that I am excited to practice and use as my future unfolds. Between weeks five through
nine, there was one concept that we discussed that caught my attention and opened my mind to
the endless possibilities that can help me in the business world and even life in general. This
concept is the power of storytelling. We learned about storytelling in weeks six and seven
through our amazing guest speaker and the purposeful storytelling activity we did in class. I first
realized how important storytelling is when I heard our guest speaker tell us his “Hero” story.
When listening to his story it really opened my eyes to how much a story can impact others and
create a whirlwind of emotions that people can relate to and can encourage or persuade others to
be comfortable with certain aspects of life that can feel unnatural. I certainly felt extremely
empathetic and impressed with how our guest speaker was able to overcome such adversity. His
story even made me trust him and encouraged me to keep on moving forward no matter how
difficult things can get because if you are not, then you are moving backwards. This emotion was
all able to happen because of the way our guest speaker told his story.
Our guest speaker told his story using the “Three Act Storytelling Structure” which we learned
about in class. This technique uses a three-step dynamic where the storyteller starts with the first
act, the setup, and we learn about their world before the story truly begins. The second act is
where we hear their conflict and how their world gets turned upside-down. The third and final
act is the resolution where we hear how their problem was solved and how their lives have
changed for the better and the lessons they have learned from overcoming adversity. This
structure is important because it allows the storyteller to become vulnerable which really catches
everyone’s attention. The structure also draws everyone in by getting the listeners to really
understand how much their story means to them creating a sense of trust that helps the audience
know who you are and how much you have learned by overcoming adversity. It also can help
audience members relate to the story and gain the courage and power to help themselves in their
own lives which is a very important aspect.
Our lives revolve around storytelling as the majority of our conversations with people are done
through storytelling. It was in our purposeful storytelling group activity that being a great
storyteller can be a huge asset in job interviews. It was when we all shared our own stories of
overcoming adversity that I realized how much these stories tell us about one another and the
challenges one goes through and how they manage the situation is an important part of their
personality. Learning about how a person manages adversity is an important character trait and
one that interviewers would be interested in hearing. This really helped me feel more confident
for future interviews as later in the activity we were tasked to ask each other a set of interview
questions and answer in the form of a story. When doing this I was able to answer more
interview questions with confidence than I was able to in the past, as in the past I was always
focused on details and strengths I wanted to display but never realized how much easier it is to
display in the form of story than just stating the facts.

C. My boss called me an idiot

My boss called me an idiot in front of the entire team. This is a difficult situation given the
personal nature of the comment. It is easy to be hurt, embarrassed and defensive but that would
not help resolve the issue. I would handle the situation in the following manner.
I would ask my boss “can I check in with you on this issue? Calling me an idiot is not part of our
culture and it would help to talk and get things out in the open”. I would explain what I saw
happening that led up to the name-calling. I would ask the team for their input on what we can all
do differently to ensure we have a safe and respectful team environment. I would state my
intention is not to make anyone, especially my boss, feel uncomfortable, but unless we have an
open dialogue about the issues, we will not have a cohesive team. “We don’t want to feel that we
cannot openly express our feelings in a direct manner, however, we do want people to feel
respected in the process. We all work hard, and no one is perfect, but if we support each other
and have open candid discussions built on trust and respect, we can get a lot further to reach our
goals”. After the dialogue, I would ask the team how we can hold ourselves accountable to
ensure we keep to our principles of having open candid dialogues in a respectful manner.
Based on what I learned from Crucial Conversations, I would start with the heart. I would ask
myself what I really want for myself, for others and what do I want in this relationship with my
boss. I would also ask how would I behave if this is what I really wanted? (Patterson, 42) I came
to the conclusion that what I want is respect from my boss, respect from my team and an overall,
a cohesive team environment. If I simply let my boss’s comment go or discuss this privately with
my boss, I do not think I could accomplish “all” of what is in my heart. I would also use “the one
thing” (Patterson, 20) approach and make it safe for people to share their input. Inviting people
to contribute their opinions and feelings will fill the “pool of shared meaning” and this
combination of input will propel teams into action (Patterson, 21). This would allow everyone
feel part of the solution and get buy in from the team and our manager.
I think by addressing this as a team issue and not specifically about how my feelings were hurt
creates a safe environment for my boss and the team to speak up. The first condition of safety is
mutual purpose (Patterson, 68). By establishing a shared goal, it helps create a safe environment
for a healthy dialogue. Building a cohesive team that respects and trust one another seems like a
logical place to start.
I also think it is important to contrast to fix any misunderstanding (Patterson,77). To state what
we don’t want which is not to feel safe to speak directly and give feedback, and then state what
we do want is to speak up in a manner that is respectful. Using this contrasting technique will
hopefully confirm my purpose. Using the CRIB model (Patterson, 87) will help to ensure we
have a good path forward to mutual purpose. Brainstorming together for solutions and specific
actions is vital to the success of the team. If we agree on how we are going to behave as a team,
and hold ourselves accountable, we will be in a better position to have success.
My overall approach does appeal to ethos, logos, and pathos concepts. In the book Five Stars,
MaGaug states “emotions help us to remember things, but a little stress can sear the memory into
our brains” (Gallo, 2559). Although McGaug used this in context of a story, I think this candid
and direct dialogue is one that will be memorable particularly given it will be a bit stressful to
address out in the open. Having an open dialogue about the importance of being a team that
respects and trusts each other is the “emotional connection” (Gallo, 2614) and the emotional
appeal/pathos (Gallo, 2679) By providing the context that led up to my boss calling me an idiot
is the “evidence or logos” (Gallo, 2679), to support the dialogue. The team can weigh in to
provide their input and it may be that I said something inappropriate that caused my boss to react
in such a hostile and negative way. To address the issue on the spot and in front of the team
shows courage on my part and my willingness to accept feedback. Displaying courage,
vulnerability and sincerity is where ethos (Gallo, 2679) comes into the mix. How I manage this
situation is all about my character. To address this uncomfortable situation out in the open in a
respectful way that focuses on team cohesion demonstrates integrity.
In conclusion, I would first start with the heart, to know what I really want to accomplish as an
outcome. Secondly, I would make it safe for people to share their input to accomplish a pool
shared meaning and mutual purpose. In addition, I would appeal to their emotions (pathos)
provide facts/evidence (logos) and display integrity in my approach (ethos). It was hard for me to
not want to ask for an apology from my boss and maybe my approach will lead to this outcome
at some point; but if I led with this it would not have met my overall goal of team cohesion.
Therefore, I opted for an open a dialogue, using various techniques, where I will learn more
about the circumstances, and will feel better about the overall approach and hopefully reach my
overall goal of team cohesion and respect.

D. Personal Story
Growing up, school was very hard for me, especially in the early years. I never liked being the
center of attention, so when I was called on to answer a question, it was never a good experience.
Now, imagine one day at the age of eight years old, you suddenly start getting intrusive thoughts
of extremely horrifying events in your head, such as your whole family dying. These thoughts
were not just the average intrusive thoughts one could push aside and say, “Well, that was
weird,” and just go on with your day. No, these thoughts were the most vivid and realistic
thoughts that would not go away and throw you into a panic state. The only way to help the
intrusive thoughts disappear was to do rituals such as tapping, counting, or other compulsive
activities. In my mind, if I did these rituals, it would prevent these events from happening and
calm me down. I know this sounds odd, as there is no possible way to control the future, but no
matter how silly and unrealistic these thoughts were, they felt so real.

These thoughts would pop into my head multiple times a day. I would have to perform these
rituals to prevent whatever the scenario was in my head from happening. I often had to restart the
same ritual until I felt I did them just right. However, even after I completed the rituals, I still felt
like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and I had an immense amount of anxiety. It
was tough for me to deal with, primarily because I would hide the fact that this was happening
from everyone and would do these rituals secretly. I felt alone and scared.

One evening, I was lying in bed going through another episode, keeping all this fear and
excruciating anxiety bottled up inside and felt the urge to give up. It was then that I knew I had to
get help, and I finally told my parents. This was extremely hard for me, but I was just so sick and
tired of dealing with this alone and needed to find out why this was happening.
Not too long after, my parents got me help, and I learned that I had a pretty extreme case of
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I went to a psychologist who prescribed medicine to
help control the thoughts but needed therapy to learn how to deal with the anxiety. I did not like
the idea of therapy. I was scared to talk about what was going on in my head, especially to a total
stranger.

There were certain places or situations that would trigger my OCD and create an intense amount
of fear and unfortunately school was that place. School was one of the most challenging because
I was constantly around people and had to hold everything in while secretly performing rituals. I
remember going to the nurse’s office on a regular basis to lie down so that I could be alone.
Soon, my grades started to suffer, which made school even more painful. My mom insisted a
tutor come to the house to help with my schoolwork which triggered more intrusive thoughts in
my head. It came to a point that I did not even want to go to school. I would do everything I
could to avoid going, usually pretending I was sick. Doing homework at home was another
trigger. My stress grew more and more as I knew if I could not manage my OCD, my grades
would suffer and it could affect my future. I wanted to excel in school to get accepted into a good
college.

By now, I have been to a dozen different therapists, and it seemed like I was never going to get
better. After this painful and stressful search, we found an excellent therapist named Jeff Carlson.
Jeff was a younger guy in his late thirties who was down to earth. I remember he started by just
getting to know me, not asking about the OCD, but getting to know the things I liked to do. I
recall he even brought me outside to have a baseball catch while we got to know each other. I felt
like he was there because he cared, but it was not until he told me his story of struggling with
OCD that I felt I could really trust him.

Jeff knew school was a trigger for me; it was a place where my OCD was at its worse. He took
the time on a Saturday to come to my school and walk the halls with me. We sat in a classroom
for a while and waited until my stress level came down. Jeff explained this technique is called
exposure therapy, which is to confront the feared situation, not perform a ritual, and see that no
harm follows. OCD is a chronic disease that does not go away but with exposure therapy I
learned that the risk is remote and learned to ignore it.

Jeff taught me how to face my fears and never back down. He also taught me how to be truly
determined and to have the strength and willpower to fight this disorder and be comfortable with
the uncomfortable. I started to realize how great life can be and how never to be afraid to share
my feelings with people and to ask for help. When I started high school, I was in a much better
place to manage my anxiety. My grades improved, and I reached my goals. Over the years, I
have been able to control intrusive thoughts, resist the urge to do rituals and live fear-free from
OCD.
E. Big five personality

Overall, I agree with the results. I scored 60% for openness which seems about right. I am open
to new ideas and adventures but do not take big risks. I remember when I was about 15 years old,
I went with my family and some friends to Lake George in New York. There was a big cliff on
the lake that all the kids were jumping off. I wanted to jump but decided to jump off a smaller
cliff instead. My fear kicks in and will stop me from taking big risks which is why I am not
surprised by my score.
My score for Neuroticism (58%) is one I would obviously like to decrease and goes hand in hand
with my desire to increase conscientiousness (46%). Conscientious is on the lower side of the
spectrum which is unfortunate as I do think it is important to be goal-oriented and I believe my
anxiety is the driver behind the lower score. In the definition it states if you are conscientious,
you are able to forgo immediate gratification for the sake of long-term achievement. I am hoping
as I continue to mature, I will be able to manage my anxiety better, improve my focus to enable
me to reach my goals in a more consistent and timely manner.
Agreeableness came out high on the spectrum which is not a surprise and a trait I am proud. I am
empathetic and care a lot about helping others. I always will be there for my friends and family
which is at the core of who I am and it makes me happy.
There was one surprising insight which is my 50% score for extraversion. Since one of the traits
on my Jung profile is introvert, I thought my extroversion score would have been lower. I think
Five Big is closer to my personality in this respect. For example, in new situations I am reserved
and stay in the background but when I feel comfortable with people I start to open up and am
more outgoing. This may be why I scored in the middle for extroversion.
With regards to similarities or differences of the Big Five Personality traits compared to the Jung
and DISC personality assessments, I do see both similarities and differences. In the Jung
personality profile, I am an INFJ. The feeler trait in JUNG personality profile is similar to the
agreeable trait in the Five Big assessment. Both traits are about empathy for others, taking care
of people, prioritizing other’s needs over your own.
In the DISC profile my highest score is Steadiness (37%). Steadiness stresses patience for others
and thoughtfulness which is also similar to the feeler trait in Jung profile and similar to the
agreeable trait the Big five assessment.
My second highest score in DISC is Influence (25%) Influence is how one deals with people in
an open and trusting manner. This trait has similarities to the Big Five trait of agreeable and
Jung’s trait of feeler.
Where I see differences is in Jung’s trait of judger compared to the Big Five trait in
consciousness. Jung describes judging as one that likes a life that is planned and orderly. This
does resonate with me as I do better emotionally when things are in order. However, on the flip
side I scored 46% on conscientiousness which is one who is organized and goal-oriented. These
two can be in conflict given my preference is for order and having a plan in place, however I can
easily get sidetracked and look for immediate gratification over my long-term goals. In the end
my lack of order only increases my anxiety and need to work harder to get back on track. Given I
have OCD, I am not surprised that I scored above 50% for Neuroticism, but I am pleased it was
not any higher.
The benefits of taking all these personality tests are helpful to determine if there is a pattern.
When you see a lot of similarities between the tests you have more confidence that the
personality profiles are accurate. Knowing my traits will help me to reflect and think about how
these traits can impact my life and in particular my future career. To give more thought about
what traits, I want to put more effort in to achieve my goals. For example, as an introvert, I am
more prone to fear speaking in public. This is an area I will need to work on to overcome my
fear. I also know that I can be too aggregable at times and not challenge others thinking for fear
of causing conflict. It was interesting to also see the similarity here with my conflict management
style which is accommodating. Understanding your personality profile and being self-aware is
important for self-growth and will lead to a more positive lifestyle and career.

Proof of Assessment
 Work Cited
- Gallo, C. (2019). Five stars: The communication secrets to get from good to great. Pan
Books.
- O’Hair, D., Rubenstein, H., & Stewart, R. A. (2023). A pocket guide to public speaking.
Bedford/St. Martin’s.
- Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial conversations:
Tools for talking when stakes are high. McGraw-Hill.
- https://www.truity.com/test/big-five-personality-test