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restoring your femininity

QUEENDOM

DEVOTIONAL GUIDE
TO

EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIPS
& FULFILLING LIFE
A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Healing the Feminine Soul 01

BECOMING AWARE OF OUR WHOLENESS INSTEAD OF TRYING

TO “FIX“ OURSELVES IS WHAT ALLOWS US TO EXPERIENCE
PEACE, JOY, AND FREEDOM.
My clients are usually women who have done a lot of inner work, but there is still
something missing… Something not yet falling into place.

Does it have to be this hard? Do we have to jump through all these hoops to finally
arrive?

And my answer to this is – you arrive when you realize that you´re not looking for
another way to fix yourself. You want to come home. You want to exhale and rest. You
want to feel your heart again.

A woman with feminine essence won´t find peace in the self-development tools, which
usually lead to mental bypassing of our emotional wounding.

What happens when a girl doesn´t have an access to the empowered masculine energy
of her father (or caretaker) is that she uses her own masculine energy to protect herself
– your masculine shield.

This happens also when your heart was broken, when you lost your trust in the
masculine or when who you were was not enough for the people around you.

There is a layer after layer of hurt, shame, and pain (usually felt as numbness,
frustration and irritation) protecting your heart from experiencing the aftermath of
the heartbreak.

The shield serves its purpose for a time, but it becomes a great obstacle standing in the
way of fulfilling relationships and life.

The main subconscious belief that´s developed is: “If I was not good enough for you,
then I will become perfect/enough and earn your love.” or for some women "You gave
up on me and I will now give up on myself so that the world can see and feel my pain."
However, the effects are far more devastating than the beliefs themselves.

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Healing the Feminine Soul 01

The main distortion that happens (the missing key) is that you disconnect yourself
from your feminine core – your connection to divine love.

A woman with feminine essence is nourished from within.

No “tool” can substitute the connection with your heart. This is why the self-
development tools feel artificial and forceful to feminine women.

The thing is, masculine energy IS a shield. And men inherently know this. Empowered
masculine men are instinctively called to protect, give, and provide.

Leading with your wounded masculine energy manifests as perfectionism – trying to

create a perfect persona so that we can be finally worthy of the love which our inner
child craves so deeply (while being internally disconnected and feeling painful
emptiness and longing/yearning), trying to implement the “right” strategies (in dating
or career/business), trying to explain yourself often, or trying self-development tools
to improve yourself. This “trying” energy is often codependency expressed as leaning
forward and proving our worth which in the long run depolarizes our natural feminine
magnetism and radiance.

When we dig a little deeper it is also avoidance and a fear of vulnerability and fear of
being seen for who we truly are. If we don´t know how to access our heart (the source
of feminine openness and receptivity) and speak our truth from there, the other option
left is manipulation and control (shadow feminine).

Mothering mature adult beings, pulling people along, harboring resentment, and then
punishing them with a silent treatment are all manifestations of trying to get our
needs met in ways that are familiar to us. Manipulation and control, however, throw
you off to the shadowlands of pain and suffering. They drain your emotions, energy,
and vital life force. You are overworking yourself for experiences like love and connection that
should be available to you naturally and organically just for being you.

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Masculine and Feminine Energy 02

Looking for ease, love, and fulfillment when you´ve never experienced them is like
trying to reach a destination you´ve never been to before without a map.
Difficult and frustrating. Our emotional state and the relationship we have going
on with our inner masculine is an attraction point for all the other things in our life.

Learning what´s healthy and what´s not when it comes to your emotions
and relationships will save you so much energy and help you to call in what you desire
faster because you´ll no longer dim your light by interacting with the world
in codependent ways. This ultimately increases your magnetism and emotional well-
being.

The wounded masculine energy (within you and also in others) is the voice that forces
you to push harder and strive more to achieve without actually believing that you
are capable of doing so. It rules by fear.

Many women are operating from this kind of energy and that´s why it feels as if they
have to do everything themselves (they are disconnected from their own healthy
masculine energy).

They´re struggling with inner emptiness and consequently try to fill the void
by looking for the masculine support outside of themselves (in men, money
and by following strict strategies and rules – e.g. diet plans that are more harmful
than beneficial).

In fact, this kind of lifestyle seems like the only possibility when your inner dialogue
goes along the lines “No matter what you do, it´s never good enough
(voice of the wounded masculine)”

The wounded feminine is ruled by fear and plays not to lose instead of playing to win.
She´ll self-sacrifice to get external validation and abandon her truth to get love,
which will always stay elusive to her, because she doesn´t believe that she´s worthy
of receiving it. PAGE 3
A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

When we´re living out of wounded feminine energy, we´ll always settle for good
enough instead of great, because the main belief of the wounded feminine is “This is
as good as it gets” and “Why would I be worthy of more?”

Both of these patterns make you leak your energy on people, places, and activities
that are not ultimately in your best interest.

To heal and integrate these wounded energies we have to cultivate the empowered
feminine and empowered masculine and renew the trust between these two energies.

Healthy feminine always goes first, sets the standard, and doesn´t compromise her
well-being by seeking external validation. She knows her worth, owns her worth,
and lives her worth. The health and quality of her relationships are her priority.

Healthy masculine supports the feminine and respects her need for space and time.
When you´ve had embodied healthy masculine energy you won´t force yourself
to come up with a decision when you intuitively know that it´s not time yet. You´re
able to set boundaries and protect your energy no matter what. You´re feeling safe
and secure consistently and you´re cultivating these feelings daily.

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Father Wound 03

BEING OPEN TO SUPPORT AND CHERISHED

The father wound shows up in women as a lack of discernment >>> self-protection >>>
emotional strength >>> sustenance of their feminine essence.

The most common examples I see coming up in my practice are a lack of discernment
when it comes to relationships and healthy masculine and addiction to chasing love
and the “masculine” (men and money are the areas where women have the most
distorted perception and polarity).

The unhealed inner child fantasy keeps a woman wanting to be saved or to save
their partner as an act of love.

This relational distortion creates codependency, emotional instability, and financial

instability.

When you feel like you are taking on more responsibility than is truly yours:
a) you are not with an empowered masculine partner (manifests as a sense of anxiety
and ungroundedness in your womb when you are with him)
b) you are afraid of opening yourself up to receiving and it is suffocating the polarity
of your relationship and leadership skills of your partner

Feminine devotion (heart) and innocence without masculine protection and

discernment fosters naivety. She becomes blind to all the red flags coming her way and
because of her blind loyalty to unhealthy patterns she is often out of touch with the
reality of the relationship she is living in.

The father principle in a family and in our inner world represents discernment,
protection, strength, and sustenance.

When a woman heals her father wound and unhealthy entanglement with the distorted
masculine energies (charmer, bully, … ) her body and intuition (Spirit) can
immediately see, discern, and invite the healthy masculine into her life.

Our own masculine energy harnessed and focused on strengthening our connection to
our body and wisdom of the Spirit (manifested as intuition) creates safety and space
where we can heal all the distortions and beliefs and our relationship with the
masculine protection, provision, and support.
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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Father Wound 03

Imagine a little girl being lost in a mall and trying to find her way back home and
suddenly her dad appears, he swoops her onto his shoulders and takes her safely home.
The feelings of relief, safety, and security are what organically happens when we start
shifting the focus of our own masculine energy (conscious presence and support) from
external achievements to inner support and healing.

The last thing you want to do is to meet the little girl in you with broken heart
(manifesting as the inner voice) asking you “Is there something wrong with me?” and
“How do I need to change to be loveable?” with anger, frustration, and a list of
suggestions.

It´s as if a little child asked her father “How do I need to change so you can love me?”
and he´ll start listing all the changes she needs to do. Or as if you´re asking a man
“What do I need to do, so you will love me more?”

Can you see how disempowered and unhealthy these dynamics are?

Your inner child (often disguised as inner resistance, fear, hopelessness, and sadness)
needs you to meet her with empowered energy:
“I love you exactly as you are.”
"You matter to me."
“I don´t need you to change.”
“I´ll stay with you as long as you´ll need me.”
“You can relax, we´re safe.”
“I don´t need you to be constantly doing something, I value you no matter what.”
“It´s OK to take your time/do it your way.”
“Your happiness is important to me.”

Can you feel the relief? Can you feel the resistance melting away? Ahhh…

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Feminine Receptivity 04

When you are energetically “leaning forward” in your relationships, you are using
your masculine energy to pull people along, fix things, do more to be worthy of more,
and so on.

We have been all there and we have had the best intentions… And they usually take us
to a place of burn out, frustration, and resentment:
But I´m trying so hard and they don´t appreciate it…
But I´m doing everything for him and he is pulling away…
But I´ve done so much inner work and the universe isn´t delivering…

I get it. I feel you. I was there and I want you to know that there is a way out of this
vicious circle of trying hard and falling short every single time.
It lies in understanding your feminine essence and restoring the health of your
relationships.

However, I can´t tell you to stop leaning forward without addressing one of the deepest
feminine wounds and the reasons why we lean forward in the first place – the feeling
of unworthiness.

Unworthiness is felt deeply and it´s passed down from generation to generation.
We feel unworthy of love that we desire to receive and give.

We feel unworthy of peace of mind and self-expression.

…unworthy of rest, of speaking our truth, and following the innate wisdom of our
bodies.

Until we decide to do the work to crack the layers of shame, pain, and guilt that
prevent us from receiving the fullness of life.

Empowered masculine energy (in all of its forms) wants to feel received and
appreciated for what it has to give.

Women don´t understand how attractive it is for masculine energy when they leave
space open where it can feel received and appreciated.

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Feminine Receptivity 04

Leaning forward using your masculine energy will keep you unconsciously choosing
wounded relationships (romantic, friendships, business …) with disempowered people,
which leads to codependency.

The greatest gift that a woman with feminine essence can give is to be connected
to herself, receive and accept all of who she is (which starts healing the feelings
of unworthiness) and create a space for the masculine where “it” can
energetically step up, commit, give, and be received fully.

This dynamics restores the original design and heals the wounds in our collective
psyche.

The first step to expanding your capacity to receive is receiving all of who you are.
There is an intelligent reason behind every bit of resistance, resentment, anger,
sadness, and depression. You can´t deny them your compassion and still remain
connected to your heart.

The parts of your Self that you deny and that you want to keep hidden from the world
and from your awareness are exactly what keeps you feeling separate and, therefore,
closed to receiving goodness in any way, shape, or form.

So my question is… where are you not receiving yourself?

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Your Personal Bodyguard 05

It´s beliefs like 'I need to work hard for what I want/I need to work hard on myself',
'Life is hard' and 'I need to give before I can receive' that prevent an empowered
woman from recognizing and feeling attracted to an empowered man even if he was
standing right in front of her.

The thing is, as women, the majority of us are more open and susceptible to outside
influence because our feminine essence and subconscious are naturally more sensitive
to emotions, relationship dynamics, and the needs of others (you are born this way and
there is nothing you can do about it other than being aware of it and setting your life
in a way that supports the way you function).

This tendency to be more introspective (in combination with being extremely

intelligent which all of my clients are) leads to two outcomes:

a) The first one is that we allow others (it starts unconsciously during our upbringing)
to “train” our instincts. I call it good girl conditioning. Because you are so smart,
sensitive, and capable, it is easy for you to assess what others need and to become
flexible and accommodate their needs to either get the outcome you want (more
connection – however conditional, less criticism, more praise, or more of anything else
you perceive as a reward).

b) The second is that once you grow up into an empowered woman and you suddenly
can't create/get what you want – for my clients it is usually a healthy relationship –
your instinct is already well trained and prepared to do more introspection. And all
the self-help industry is already waiting for you with the seemingly innocent advice –
Let's find out what is wrong with you so you can fix yourself.

The biggest trap for this type of woman (other than self-help) is the disempowered
man. He can fall under many categories such as conscious man, peter pan man,
feminine man, but the point is that he gives you just enough hope so that you can keep
chasing him (remember the belief “I need to work hard for what I want”) but never
enough to make you feel safe and supported.

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Your Personal Bodyguard 05

So how do you break this spell?

If you are a highly conscious sensitive woman your first instinct when something is
not unfolding according to your plan or/and when your nervous system receives a
shock from your environment (break-up, non-committal men, assault,…) is to turn in
on yourself and start questioning yourself.

Notice how this feeling throws you into a dark cave where you feel like something is
wrong with you and at the same time all the responsibility of figuring out what it is
(the missing key, the hidden block, etc.) rests on your shoulders. This feeling of
hopelessness is exactly what prevents you from stepping into your empowered
emotional and mental state.

Instead of turning in on yourself, we need to engage your best inner husband (your
own empowered masculine energy) and let him support you and create internal and
external environments that feel safe, nourishing, and that release the tension caused
by external disempowered factors (usually other people or events) where your nervous
system can come back to neutral without dipping down into hopelessness or fixing
mode.

Your empowered inner masculine is your personal bodyguard who is at all times
responsible for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. His role is to make
sure that you are feeling safe, supported, and secure.

As you know by now feeling held, supported, and cherished (all the feelings that you
naturally feel when you are with an empowered man) might feel elusive to you.

This is also a reason why many of my clients don't feel attracted to healthy empowered
men at first – the feeling of stability and consistency seems “boring” while the high
they receive from “chasing” feels exhilarating. This is our nervous system being
activated my long-term stress responses that are clouding our judgemement.

Or you might feel like hiding and retrieving back to your own world and “hiding your
light” when you are in the presence of an empowered man, because his attention and
support feel intimidating (the inner child is coming up and not feeling enough).

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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Your Personal Bodyguard 05

What you actually want to be doing is bringing in more self-trust which leads to self-
confidence and feeling enough just as you are.

If you feel yourself dipping down into helplessness or the idea pops up in your mind
that you need to change or fix yourself, you immediately imagine your inner masculine
bodyguard saying to you that you are enough right now and the only thing missing is
that you don't see how lovable and worthy of protection and support you are right
now.

The role of your empowered masculine bodyguard is to make your life as easy as
possible (when you are with an empowered partner this is exactly how he feels about
his role in your life – he knows his role is to make it as easy, safe, and enjoyable as
possible). And I want you to start getting used to this feeling right now!

This world is set up in a genius way. And there are active universal laws that are valid
at all times.

One of them is that you can't have/receive fulfilling love by leaving yourself out of it.

That is what we try to do when we are entrenched in codependency.

Codependency will make you ask others and God to prove to you that you are worthy
of the love/life that you so deeply desire.

The problem with codependency is that it keeps us stuck in an archetype of the eternal
child who refuses to take responsibility for the power that was given to her. All the
things that you want are on the other side of personal responsibility. Responsibility,
esp. emotional one, is a terrifying concept when we are carrying a father wound.
Father wound twists our perception of discipline and self-responsibility. Instead of
seeing them as a gift and a part of our personal power, we see them as something too
heavy to carry and as a burden. The main reason for this twisted perception is the fact
that the masculine support we needed was missing in our lives and the responsibilities
we took on from a young age felt like a burden. Our inner child collapsed under the
heaviness of the world and its expectations.
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REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Your Personal Bodyguard 05

However, the kink in the hose that is keeping us stuck is that the divine masculine
(God/life) never sees you as disempowered.

You are 'his' beloved.

You are always loved and always held by the divine masculine. Divine Masculine
energy is the all-encompassing presence and an aspect of God/Source/Holy Father that
wants to take care of you, that paves the path for you, and that wants to make your life
easier.

Your feminine essence is at all times in a never-ending dance with the divine
masculine. Our conditioning makes us feel separate from others, from our heart, and
ultimately from the Source of all life and its divine masculine aspect that offers you
protection and provision <<< this is the deepest father wound that affects all areas
that were meant to support you.

But the divine masculine is not going to argue with you or persuade you about how
precious you are to him.

You have already received the greatest gift of all...

... A free will to decide how your life goes.

You can always come back home to the original design for your life where you are
whole, already worthy, and indescribably precious by honoring your own boundaries,
connecting with your heart, reparenting the inner child with love and ultimately
taking responsibility for your emotions and actions.

But no one is saving you because no one sees you as disempowered.

This way, you can find the second gift - a treasure - that has been given to you.

Your own power and its creative consequences that matter at all
times.

Your decision to step into who you were created to be matters. Always.
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A Devotional Guide

REDISCOVERING WHOLENESS, EASE & JOY

A M I R A C L E W O R K B O O K . C O M

Your Personal Bodyguard 05

But no one is going to take this power away from you by saving you. Empowered
masculine energy is incapable of interacting with you in a codependent way. Life will
not play into our codependent human games.

When it comes to relationships, as long as self-responsibility seems scary, we won't

feel safe around empowered masculine energy men - we won´t let them into our life or
won´t feel attracted to them because something about them will feel "unsafe",
"unfamiliar" or even "dangerous/frightening". It is because you can´t manipulate them
as easily as wounded feminine men and they can see right through your wounded little
girl and her insecurities and being in their presence will call her out energetically,
which feels to her like she needs to hide and retrieve. On a macro level this happens
when we are afraid to trust life (trust divine masculine).

You always receive on the level of power and inner security that you have embodied.
And with power comes responsibility. We can't separate the two. In the end, it is your
own inner masculine that is waiting for his resurrection. When a woman activates her
inner masculine energy, power and responsibility for her own life cease to feel like
a burden, and life starts to feel exciting and full of possibilities again.

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