From the Desk of SofJ Listening to Liquid Mind 3 Laguna Indigo Pt. 2 I have killed a 30 year old bonsai.

What a tragedy. No more than two weeks in, and it dies on me, or maybe I killed it. 30 years it took to grow, and now its dead! Sitting on my balcony, tattered leaves and barren, lifeless. The soul has completely gone from it. I have failed at attempting to give it life, and all I have done was take it with my fecklessness. Im sure my detractors are out there gloating over my misfortune. You know who you are. At least I tried to give it soul. Perhaps. I have given up on trying to revive it. There it remains, on my balcony, an effete of its former self, and ghostly hollow.

Other then that, things have been quiet with me lately, been quiet on the right wing stuff too, and for no real reason either, other then the fact that I have almost given up on contemporary Japanese men entirely, like my bonsai. Overrated; self-important; politically tone deaf; white fear, white worship, and downright ignorant of the realities of the whole world. Its not like they know how to do it any other way though; I mean, this is all they know: obsequious, easy-quitters, delusional, misguided, rough cut, painfully cute.

Two weeks ago when a client was complaining to me about a shooting incident that took place some years ago in America that involved a college student from Japan, I gloated a bit myself over the incident. According to his story the young man was out trick-or-treating in a suburban area somewhere in California. He unlawfully entered the house of a stranger and started rummaging for candy and shouting trick-or-treat. The owner of the house witnessing this shouted the word freeze! The young man didn't obey the owners direct order and was shot and killed on the spot. After my client nished telling me this story I, without hesitation and without carefully choosing my words, said "good and sort of snickered. The client was immediately offended and befuddled at the same time. Sure, his excuse was " the victim didn't understand what the word ' freeze' had meant" and so it's the shooters fault for not being empathetic to the ignorant grown Japanese man's inability to sense danger when being told something when having a gun pointed at his face! Me personally, I still think the shooter was the victim and not the grown ass Japanese man who was carrying on like a fool overseas. I justied my remarks by saying that little kids trick-or-treat, not grown adult age men and that he rightfully got shot for illegally entering someone's property and acting like a damn fool.

Japanese men know how to sacrice themselves for the masses and foolishness and utter slapstick comedy nonsense they air on television though, which seems to be the only redeeming quality of the Japanese man nowadays. At least they know how to have a good time, and entertain us at the same time. Their cute stupidity is what endears them to me, and is a good reason why I love them so.

I was taken out to a hostess bar twice by two different clients. The rst time was a Brazilian joint where the women are obviously beautiful and fully gured, the second place was a Russian bar. It was a relief to see full gured women as apposed to anorexic and childish looking bodies that ood the streets here in Yokohama. Most often times Japanese manga (comic) will show illustrations of overly proportioned Japanese women, yet the reality is that mostwomen do here in Japan is starve themselves into utter misery by promoting these absurd diet fads that tout long life and beauty. There is nothing beautiful about living passed 60 and skinny and at chested. There's nothing charming about living to be a centenarian either. The only beauty, other than Japan itself, is the big boned, heavy chested Japanese Jukujo. Accept no substitutes. There is nothing beautiful about living passed sixty, skinny, and at bodied. Nothing!

Other then that, I've been indulging myself, or should I say, engorging myself with amazingly delicious food - BBQ to be exact. Been on an eating binge, and although I don't blame Anthony Bourdain's hit series " no reservations" the show has really broadened my horizons on a culinary level. I love food. I love the variety and accessibility of it right here in Japan. Sometimes us long term expats forget what we have right here. We forget how convenient it is to live in such convenience. Japan is the most convenient country in the world, like when I need a beer, all I have to do is look for a vending machine. Or when I need some really good comfort food at strange hours of the night I can go up the street and grab a hot bowl of ramen, or even sushi. I am and have always been the self proclaimed soul of Japan for a long time; its because there isn't any left now in the modern day Japanese man. Why? A foreigner Shinto priest has just been ordained to practice the sacred religious rites of this country's indigenous religion. I won't mention him by name or the location of where he deles this sacred institution, but its ofcial. There is now a caucasian Shinto Priest in Japan. The Obama effect...? Freedom of Religion is the cause of this, along with feeble minds and hearts, and Japanese Christians. Democracy is the reason why you have so many lame duck politicians too, who are ineffective at policy making. Everything is symptomatic of the

other, and there aren't enough right wing voices being heard to counter this destruction that's rotting away at Japan's core.

The national character needs to be looked at, too. I love how when Japanese salary men get drunk with their female colleagues or subs. They come to bars and try to speak English to foreigners. The mans too scared, so you he prostitutes his own women by making them do the difcult task of breaking the ice with the foreigner. I loathe this act of passing the buck, so to speak. Be a man! You speak. Crime rate is on the rise as more and more murders are becoming common themes on the news nowadays. And then if thats not enough you have Fuji TV airing Korean programs and soaps and further ruining Japanese minds with these ridiculous Korean actors who come over here and steal our Japanese mothers(Jukujo). And you wouldve thought that the media would be the last bastion of hope here, that they wouldnt give way to foreign media outlets because of demand. Its good to see some people standing up against the rape of Japanese television by Korea, though.

Japan is as much my country as it is the Japanese born Japanese. Why? Because I said so! And because I give a damn and I pay my taxes and am not afraid to say whatever I want to say. I am not afraid of confrontation. Why should I care what a nonsake drinking, testosterone depleted, non-patriotic, non-Jukujo loving, non-onsen, nonYasukuni visiting, non-nationalistic, non-EngRish - a- speaking, non - marshall spirited, non-Yukio Mishima loving, escapist Japanese thinks???? Is it because its his country and hes unemployed that I have to kiss his ass? Again, I am the soul of Japan. Soul in the sense of the vibe, not, in the sense of me being the express representation of the nation, but a mirror of its potential. Though hallowed souls may know who and what they once were through the sacrice of others. So that they may know.

On another note, I had a discussion with my students over TPP. We talked a bit over some of the terminology associated with it; words like trade barriers and better facilitation between institutions to allow for more transparency in banking, trade, ecommerce, and tariffs. I had explained that there were pros and cons, but more cons than pros, because thats how I see it. All free trade is bad for Japan. All globalization is bad for Japan. Its an emotional appeal. Anything that puts a strain on Japanese farmers because of a greater demand on exports while lowering trade tariffs spells doom for agriculture in any country that has a smaller GDP than larger Western/ Anglo nations. Thereby creating food dependence. The farmer is the soul of Japan.

Other sad news, one of my milk mothers has just retired from the business. I was shocked. Yuki I will miss you. You were my rst bonyu mom, and Ill never forget you. I hope our paths meet again. The reason is, is because Japanese babies wean off of mothers milk too soon I feel sometimes. What a waste, and then some mothers will typically go into depression for months, sometimes even years over this sudden change in a babies taste and development, and the mothers development as well. Once the baby is no longer interested in being breastfed, it either stops on its own or the mother give up. Its a chemical thing. Anyway, she retired. She had no reason to continue providing good nutritious milk to us. Quiet exit. No farewell parties. Me and some other youji guys were totally messed up over her sudden departure. Well, now I am nurturing a new mom, although younger, is bigger and has L-Cups that squirt volumes of milk, but she doesnt speak a lick of English. Well see what happens.

On a nal note, the end of the year is upon us. Its already mid-November and autumn is almost a distant memory. The temps have cooled down signicantly. I sleep with my knit hat on. I even close the windows now. Used to leave them open. I have also conned myself to gaming; playing Cod 4, and loving it. Trying to think and re - think my next move.