EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 2.

A Complete Self-Discipline Guide to Identify Your EQ Skills, Increase

Empath, and Manage Your Relationships
 PUBLISHED BY: Travis Cooper
Copiright 2019 © All rights reserved
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By reading this document, the reader agrees that under no circumstances
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 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction
Chapter 1 : Self-Awareness
Chapter 2 : Self-Management
Chapter 3 : Social-Awareness
Chapter 4 : Relationship Management
Chapter 5 : Empathy (Concept, Enhancement, And Its Importance)
Chapter 6 : How To Manage And Reduce Toxic Relationship
Chapter 7 : Why Raising Your Eq Skills Is So Important?
Chapter 8 : Pinpointing The Emotional Intelligence Strategies That
Increase The Eq Most
Chapter 9 : How Emotional Intelligence Affect Our Relationship And
Work
Chapter 10 : How To Improve One’s Personal And Social Skills
Conclusion
 INTRODUCTION

he content of this book will guide you in increasing your emotional

T intelligence. Many people in life suffer because of their emotional
behavior. They are not able to connect with the social as well as
personal matters easily and feel difficulty in dealing with them. Often, they
cut off from society because of this issue. The negative thoughts prevailing
in their mind will decrease their focus from the main issues that matter and
leads to relationships issues, personal as well as professional.
Well, the content of this book aims to identify your EQ skills, guide you
in increasing your Empath and even helps in managing your relationships in
a better way. In this book, we have focused on the issues of the people to
improve their EQ skills and how you will be self-aware to deal with your
emotional aspects. The content of the book is based upon rising Emotional
Intelligence by using fundamental skills like self-awareness, social-
awareness, managing yourself and relationship management. In this book,
we have also covered various tips and tricks to manage your toxic
relationship and maintain a healthy life. Many people feel distressed and
depressed to deal with social life. This book will assure you to increase
your emotional intelligence and also confine you to the importance of
raising your EQ skills.
The book aims to develop self-confidence in you to deal with all the
issues that you face because of a lack of confidence. People may also suffer
and usually escape from the situation when they are not able to understand
the concept and not able to connect with the situation. This book will guide
you in developing your self-awareness and also guide you in how can create
this on your own to improve your EQ skills and emotions. Your behavior is
how you connect with the other person. When you have inner peace and
self-confidence, you will present yourself with full energy and power. This
book has covered all the recent scenario of Emotional intelligence to see
yourself growing.
Many people want to raise their emotional intelligence but do not know
to start this. They are not even able to understand how they become self-
aware first to improve their EQ skills. This book serves as an aid for you to
learn the basic aspects of emotional intelligence and teach you to develop
self-awareness. This will also help you in managing your social issues.
Also, make you familiar with the benefits received from Emotional
intelligence.
Handling this book in hand will guide you to identify your EQ skills and
how you will work on improving this. This book is a complete package of
self-discipline guide of increasing Empath and most important manage your
relationship. This book is loaded with the concept of four pillars of
emotional intelligence that will help you in enhancing your emotional
intelligence. So why to wait? Let’s start with this emotional intelligence
program to increase your EQ skills, starting with the first fundamental skills
out of four which is self-awareness.
 CHAPTER 1

SELF-AWARENESS

elf-awareness simply means awareness of yourself which makes a

S unique identity of yourself. The uniqueness of you includes your
thoughts, experiences, and most important abilities to understand in a
better way.
A theory proposed by Robert Wicklund’s and Shelly Duval says that
“When one focused their attention on themselves, then one will be
capable of evaluating and comparing our behavior to our internal aspects.
The objective of becoming self-conscious is to evaluate your strength ”.
Self-awareness is to make a clear perception about your personality
which also includes your key strength, determining your weaknesses, your
wonderful thoughts, your self-belief, motivation, and your emotions. Not
only this if you bring self-awareness in you, but then it will also allow you
to understand people in a better way.
 You might say you are self-aware, but it is just not a simple term as these
skills are not based upon the point of getting it or not. Self-awareness is
something when you realize things in a better way. Awareness is all based
upon your experience, reaction, perception, realization, and behavior. Most
important is controlling the emotion through self-awareness.
Self-awareness loads you with the opportunities to bring some change in
you, your behavior and belief. It is an important aspect of your Emotional
intelligence and one of the keys to your success.
But the question might be rising in your mind why you need to develop
self-awareness in you ?
Why Do You Need to Develop Self-Awareness?
There is a need to develop self-awareness in every individual because as
you develop self-awareness in you, it makes you able to change your
thoughts and interpretations that you make in your mind. It will also allow
you to bring change in your emotional behavior as well which will reflect in
your relation as well as social status positively.
Moreover, it is the initial step of creating yourself to achieve what you
want to be. It will bring a clear focus on your emotion, action, reaction, a
personality which determines you where you need to move and in which
direction. When you are not aware of yourself than you are not able to
create a focus on your determination and moves in any direction without
having specific goals and ends up frustration. Also, there is a need to
develop self-awareness to bring emotional intelligence to you.
Now the other question will come to your mind is;
Is This Self-Awareness Matters in Life?
Yes, self-awareness matters in life. Daniel Goleman says that self-
awareness is the golden key to your success. When we can focus on our
emotions and thoughts at each moment than it will bring a feeling of peace
in you and often provides you the strength to understand what is better for
you.
The people who are self-aware act more consciously than other people
and are good with psychological health. It is something that brings a
positive outlook on life. The self-aware people also have a better depth of
life experiences and easily able to compassionate.
Another study done by Sutton in 2016 on self-awareness explained the
components of self-awareness and their perceived benefits. The self-
reflection, insight, mindfulness aspects are important aspects of self-
awareness gives you the benefit of becoming a more accepting person.

The Types of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is categorized into two types according to a psychologist
which are ;
Public Self-Awareness
This type of awareness emerges in you when you are well known by the
fact that how you are appearing to others. It often comes into existence
when you are the focal point in society. Your way of talking, behaving with
others and how you are presenting yourself is all comes under public self-
awareness. When you are public self-aware you will automatically evaluate
yourself and behave accordingly that is accepted socially. It will also help
you in evaluating anxiety which makes people distressed and so as their
behavior.

Private Self-Awareness
Private self-awareness as the name is indicating aware of yourself. But
only personally. Getting confused about this. Let us assume an example of
this:
 Feeling about yourself is a kind of private self-awareness. When you
have forgotten something important when you are going for something you
automatically feel stomach lurch, your heart starts fluttering when you have
someone in front of you to whom you care. These are some kind of private
self-awareness.

A Quick Review of Self-Awareness Might Be

The basic self-awareness means aware of your thoughts
when it is in your mind.
Medium self-awareness means aware of thoughts and
emotions about your own at the moment.
High awareness means self-consciousness which makes
you able to put attention on emotions and brings a relaxed
state in you. High awareness might change your thought
process at the moment.

How to Develop Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness is not something quick to access process. It
needs practice, devotion, and time. It is developed through practice and
focusing your attention on the little details of your behavior and personality
.
You will never learn this until you are only reading this chapter but you
will learn when you focus on what you have learned and how you apply it.
Learning is basic to developing self-awareness. It is what you develop when
you pay attention to your expressions, thoughts, emotions, behavior, and
body moment. Self-awareness means mastery in yourself.
Here we are going to highlight some of the key points of how you
develop self-awareness. So, let's start with the first point;
The First Level is Differentiation
differentiation simply means give yourself some space. The space you
make for yourself brings an inner light that will come through the darker
side of you. It would be better to give some time when you are going to bed
or after waking up in the morning that you could spend with yourself. Read
yourself, meditate, connect with yourself to understand the point where you
are standing and how you are interacting with social as well as your
personal life. It will give you a deep breath about your perception of
awareness of yourself. Differentiation in simple terms means connecting
with yourself. Once you have done this you will be able to move to the next
level.

The Second Level is Practicing Mindfulness

the main key to self-awareness is mindfulness. When you are practicing
mindfulness, you are paying attention to the purpose, in particular, direction
and the present moment. You will be more focused on yourself so that you
will be there in the moment to observe deeply what is running inside you.
For that practice, you don't need to sit for hours in a sitting position and
close eyes. It's simply about paying attention to your inner state as they
come into existence. More interesting is you can do it in any way while
walking, listening or any other activity. All you need is to connect with your
mind and thoughts. Practicing mindfulness will make you understand the
situation of your mind and observing things in deep. Well now moving on
to the next step of self-awareness.
The Third Level is Identification
this will be your next step of self-awareness. Identifying your self-image
will give you an awareness call. You can simply keep a journal or write to
the paper about your thoughts, willing, and identifying what you need to put
focus upon. Identifying through writing will guide you in processing your
thoughts. It also helps you in identifying the connection of you with
yourself. So, let your thought to be flow out on the paper to execute them in
a better way. It can also help in determining your inner state. Identification
level gives you an idea about your inner strength, weakness, what you need
to change in you. Once you have enough identified yourself you will move
to the next step
The Fourth Level is Being a Good Listener
When you are developing self-awareness, the other important key is
listening. Self-awareness development is incomplete without this level.
Always be a good listener, but it does not mean only hearing. But listening
here means you pay attention to other people's emotions, language,
thoughts, body movement. It will help you in evaluating things nearby you
without judging. Also, listening to your voice as good as it will guide you in
moving in the right direction and putting your thoughts in the right way.
Practicing listening to your voice means being your own best friend.
The Fifth Level is Self-Consciousness
self-consciousness is the heightened state of self-awareness. This level is
something that you called overly self-aware. You might feel awkward when
you are in the spotlight. But this remains temporary as you move from the
spotlight it will go. But the person who reaches this level has a high level of
privacy awareness. This can be positive or negative to you. This is because
when you are self-conscious you will more aware of the feelings and
emotions which leads you to stick on your image. There may be a negative
impact on your health of self-consciousness.
So, these will be the basic level of achieving self-awareness but you
might leave the last one or accept that one because of some negative impact
on health. But that doesn't mean level is bad it simply means you are aware
of yourself and have overflooded emotions which sometimes creates stress
and anxiety. When you are developing self-awareness you need to follow
these steps so that you will move in the right direction of developing self-
awareness?
But it is incomplete without self-acceptance.
You may be feeling confused between self-awareness and self-
acceptance or you might be thinking of what is the linkage between self-
awareness and self-acceptance.
Let’s take a look!
Self-Awareness is Incomplete Without Self-Acceptance
The result of self-awareness is self-acceptance. The process of
development of self-awareness doesn't mean without accepting what you
are. When you are in the process of developing self-awareness, you get
familiar with yourself, your emotions, inner sight, personality, and behavior.
But when you don't accept the thing then you probably end up with nothing.
If you feel something negative or some wrong things in you and you are not
accepted and don't want to change then you might be not completing the
process of self-awareness. The main purpose of self-awareness is to accept
what you are. But it does not mean that you will see yourself as shit and
represent the same in front of others too.
Plato says that,
Evil is rooted in ignorance. If you considered the same evilest, the bad
people but they are not, this is not because they are bad because they have
flaws but they are not admitting their flaws and do not tend to change them.
Self-acceptance is also a process of developing self-awareness in which
you accept and change yourself accordingly. This is why self-awareness and
self-acceptance are linked to each other.
Self-Awareness in Relationships
As you know that self-awareness is a key to emotional intelligence. But
when it comes it self-awareness in relationships. It is the same as you have
awareness in personal life. When you change the mind interpretation you
will be able to change your emotions and trigger yourself on emotional
equality of your relationships. Changing the emotions will lead to change in
your relationships also. It will open up whole new possibilities in life.
When you have a clear perception of thoughts and emotions and your
behavior pattern then this will help you in understanding other people in
better ways. This brings an ability to facilitate an awesome relationship,
whether they are personal or professional.

Why It Seems Difficult to be Self-Aware?

When you know that self-aware personality will be able to represent
themselves in a better way. So why people are not more self-aware. The
reason maybe is that many people will not be at the point of understanding
themselves. Most people would not be able to self-aware because they are
not able to focus themselves on their inner sight.
In research done by psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel T.
Gilbert observe that when we are doing work, we are sometimes doing them
unconsciously and would not be familiar with the things that we do. What
we feel about that. Many often tend to believe in the existing self and non-
self. Therefore, when you are doing things without any conscious mind you
will not aware of yourself.
This is the reason why it seems difficult to self-aware until we have a
conscious mind you would not be able to self-aware.
Benefits of Self-Awareness
You will receive several benefits when you are self-aware, let's take a
look at what you have gained through self-awareness

Improved Understanding of Yourself

Self-awareness improves your self-understanding which will guide you
in making fair choices and decisions. When you are self-aware you will
understand your behavior and action in better ways and constantly go
deeper in your emotional perceptions

You live a Proactive Life Rather Than Just Reactive

When you are proactive in your life, you will be better at making
decisions and things like goals achieving. Proactive life gives you the
strength to react in better ways. When you are self-aware you will be
proactive rather than just reacting on the things.

Taking Your Negative Points as Tools for Your Growth

Self-awareness is also helpful in knowing the negative points about
yourself. But it doesn't mean you are bad. It just that by developing self-
awareness you will able to learn about your bad points and convert them
into good points to achieve growth and make yourself perfect.
You Better Able to Understand What You Are Doing
When you are self-aware you will also know yourself in a better way.
The activities you are doing and why you are doing them. You will be able
to understand it clearly. Moreover, it will also help you in checking how
you are behaving with others.
Improves Your Relationships
When you are self-aware you will be able to understand emotions
clearly. Self-awareness brings emotional intelligence which will guide you
in interpreting your mind and emotions in a controlled way. Thus, improves
your personal as well as professional relationship.
Focus on Your Goals in Better Ways by Realizing Past
Mistakes
When you are self-aware you will able to know what you have done in
the past and also it will help you in knowing the mistakes that you have
done in the past. Self-aware people tend to learn from the past mistakes and
focus on the goals in better ways by letting past in the past and not
repeating the mistakes. It will also guide you in achieving goals.
These are some of the benefits that you will receive from the self-
awareness. The self-awareness is a crucial process to understand your
weakness, your inner strength. Awareness about yourself will allow you to
evaluate the things in a better way. It will help you in improvising your
relation. By reading this chapter you are familiar with the fact of self-
awareness and why we need to be self-aware. Applying this in life makes a
person more comfortable in understanding and evaluating things.
 CHAPTER 2

SELF-MANAGEMENT

elf-management is the next fundamental skill of increasing Emotional

S intelligence. It is generally referred to as self-control or self-regulation
which simply means the ability to regulate and control your own
emotions, thoughts, and behavior to act effectively in different situations.
The situation can be dealing with your personal goals, to manage your
stress level, motivating yourself, and work. When someone has the skills of
self-managing the thing whether they are students or professional persons,
they are better able to pay attention with focused goals and particular
direction and have the self-confidence to speak straight. The ability of self-
management will improve your focus as well as behavior and work
independently.
 Sometimes self-management refers to as the boss of yourself or simply
your mind controller. Self-management skills are really helpful for each
person whether a child, a teenager, an adult. It gives you a fair opportunity
to deal with your personal and professional goals with equal dedication. But
as a reader, there will be a question striking in your mind, which is why you
need to develop these self-management skills?
What role does this skill is playing in increasing out emotional
intelligence?
Well, there are many questions like this arising in your mind. So, let’s
make you familiar with the fact of the importance of self-management skill
s

Importance of Self-Management
Self-management is important is their own. The capability of self-
management brings a huge change in your life, personal as well as
professional. This is important because when you can manage things by
yourself, you will be able to have great initiative power to initiate new
things. you will have plenty of time to focus on your goals. Consider this
example;
Take the example of an office, the employers want to hire a self-
motivated person. The person who can deal and manage all the things with
more focus will achieve more goals. In-office you have to deal with many
aspects, sometimes you have to work with broken or fewer resources and
have to fix them. When the employee is having a self-management skill,
he/she will be able to work and fix things in a better innovative way and
organize things perfectly.
Self-management is all about making your own decisions and choices. It
will make you able to do things more than you need them. There are three
important keys of self-management skills which are as follows ;

The Three Important Keys of Self-Management Skills

Initiative
an initiative approach is key to self-management. It directly reflects the
ability to use your mind to work even without command or in the initiative
environment. An initiative is an approach that needs self-belief. This is
necessary because when you believe in yourself, you will be able to think
about the initiative and take action when to ask. Self-belief is a must to
motivate yourself to move out of the way to solve issues.

Organization
another important key to self-management skill is organization. A person
who is capable of organizing work and life together will tend to have more
emotional intelligence than others. Organizing yourself is very important
because it makes you able to be prepared for the things in a better way and
also helps you keep things ready when you need them. Organizing yourself
also save your time for other activities and makes you able to avoid last-
minute hurdle.
Accountability
accountability is similar to take responsibility. It is the other skill of self-
management. When you see yourself as accountable, it simply means you
are taking ownership of the work that was given to you. If its work it will be
credited to you but if it goes wrong it will be your responsibility. It’s all
about accountability to do the task successfully. Accountability gives you a
positive attitude to work efficiently.
These are basic keys of self-management which aid for success and help
you in building a self-management ability. Now moving on to another
aspect of self-management which is how you could develop the self-
management skills in work.

How to Boost the Initiative Skills

If you want to boost your initiative skills then a person must startup by
taking a project. When you own a project, then you will put effort into it by
exploring innovative ideas that will enhance your self-management skills as
well .
Another best way of increasing your initiative skills is having a course
that you can do in your spare time. it will help you in having innovative
ideas about that course to do more effort. Also, it will motivate you.
 One must opt for professional training to boost their initiate skills.
Training is a part of growth and development. When you have some
professional training in any course you will be able to have more initiative
approach to do the task.
Last but not the least be a volunteer in any of your work whether
business, party, or any of organizing activity where you can explore your
mind to develop your self-management skills.

How You Will Boost Your Organization Skills

When you want to enhance your organization skills, then you must focus
on three basic aspects which is a time deadline. Project routine and ready
for the action plan. You first have a plan to execute with a time deadline
limit. The next thing you will make a list of your routine activity so that you
can focus on how much time you have to complete the task. Managing the
time, task and routine is all set to boost your organization skills. This
technique will help you in boosting your organization skills.
Way to Boost Your Accountability
You can improve your accountability skills by owning a task that you
have given. This is an important aspect of improving accountability because
when a task is given to you or you have taken it your own. The way you
deal with the task adds up in improving your self-management skills. But
remember don't think it a given task do it like this is my task and I have to
do it by owning my responsibilities. I am the person who is answerable to
do's and don'ts. When you take accountability, you will be able to put extra
efforts to work and manage the project with utmost priorities.
Developing Self-Management Skills in Work or Professional
Life
Employers always look forward to an employee who has a caliber for
self-management. So here we are going to focus on six basic keys of self-
management which will help you in developing self-management skills and
triggers your intelligence. One can lead to individual development also by
using these six keys which are;
Be Composure Under Pressure
Staying composed seems that a person's mind is in control and focuses
on the goals. Most of the job competencies are of composure nowadays.
When your composed, you will be able to stay calm in pressure, which in
turn sets the tone and earn respect. You will be able to work in a good
manner without feeling any pressure when you have already composed the
things to deals under pressure. So always try to be composure under
pressure. Being your composure is also a way of developing self-
management skills. The basics ways of remaining composed are:

You should remain visible to your teammates and handle

the situation.
Always remain a decision-maker and holder. Stick to your
decision and encourage others as well.
Always have accountability, so that your teammates work
efficiently.
The most important stay calm and positive under pressure.

Always Self-Aware
When an employee is self-aware then they might be performing good in
their work with a focused mind and positive behavior. A self-aware
individual is a good listener and a good listener has good behavior with
their teammates. It also motivates others to work with pure focus. A self-
aware individual always thinks before they speak and they focused on what
they are performing. Self-awareness can be developed by focusing on an
inner strength as we have explained in the previous chapter. You will be
able to more self-aware by following these simple tips:

Instead of arguing on any issues ask for feedback which

will help you to know about issues.
Always look for yourself and your inner sight to
understand your proficiency.
And think before executing.

Adapt Yourself to Change

When you are an employee in a company or any kind of work profession
especially in the technology department, you keep yourself familiar with the
fact of changing the environment, changing company processes.
Advancement is the need for running a successful business. So rather than
having to stick to old perception adapt yourself according to the changes.
Always open yourself to adapt changes and plan your strategy accordingly
will help you in developing self-management skills. You can perform these
things to make yourself open for changes like:

Always ask for feedback or questions form the company as

well as consumers so that you have a basic idea of where is
need of change.
Stay yourself updated with the current affairs.
Always be a volunteer to participate actively in tasks.

Develop Professionalism in You

Professionalism here does not mean you need to be a master planner.
Here it simply means execute your responsibilities with priorities. The
person who is having all levels of the organization and openly able to
express his/ her attitude of professionalism in work will have more
developed self-management skills. You can adopt professionalism in your
work by simply focusing on the little things like:

Be a time finisher, finish your work on time.

 Always keep a positive attitude and neglect negative
aspects
Always help your team members.
Avoid using inappropriate language and leave all your
problems away from your work area.

Always Try to Take Accountability/Ownership of Work

It doesn't matter whether you are an employee, or an owner, if you have
self-management skills you will able to take accountability or ownership of
tasks on your own. An employee with self-management skills who have
taken accountability will deliver promises to the time. the employee will be
able to accept both success and failure with a positive attitude and the good
thing is never to pass the failure to other employees. When you are taking
ownership than you must know how to own work like this

Take accountability which means you are taking control of

the do's and don’ts to overcome the situation.
Control your inner fear. Fear will never lead to success it
only drop-down your confidence level only.
You should be focused on your goals and complete your
task with a positive and calm mind.

Step Ahead to Learning

Learning is a never-ending process. You will learn at each step of life. It
will also help you in having an open-minded approach to adapt things
according to the condition. Learning is an important part of developing self-
management skills. It will help you in achieving expertise in handling work
with confidence. You will have the confidence to work efficiently when you
have already learned about the work.
These important keys to developing self-management skills will properly
guide you. It will help you in having a positive approach and often serve
you as a professional candidate with a positive attitude who can do work
more efficiently. Self-belief, communication, self-management, teamwork,
and problem solver is all an employer wants to see in an employee.
How Self-Management Skills Help You in Professional Life
When you are following the above-mentioned keys in developing self-
management skills you are already setting an example for yourself. You are
presenting yourself with a more positive outlook, you will be able to
concentrate on your work more efficiently. When you have focused on the
above things you are setting yourself as a problem solver. You bring the
ability to work in a challenging environment. You are setting yourself as a
time finisher and ready to accept both acceptance and rejection. Which in
turn gives you growth in your career as well as enhances your quality too.
self-management skills help you taking decisions more proficiently without
fear of failure. It will build a positive attitude in you.
Self-management is not something that is needed by a professional
person. But it is also needed for every individual and even student too. but
you must be thinking about how students can develop self-management
skills in them. So, let's take a look at it as well.

Self-Management Skills for School Childre n

There are several ways of developing self-management skills in school
children for education which are as follows;

Student always shows their initiative approach by

participating in any activity and project work. The activity
can be any having a responsibility, organizing any school
event, etc.
The student must be an active volunteer who came with
different ideas to make success. A positive attitude will
develop self-management skills which help in developing
their personality as well.
Be an organizer, the student must be an organizer to
manage work and life balance to make a study. Here
organizer does not mean to handle all the school
responsibility, it just simply means organize your time for
study and play. It will automatically develop self-
management skills in them. You will keep a time-table also
to manage your things in the right manner
 Be homework finisher on time. when you have prepared a
time-table for your homework you will be able to finish
them on time and leaves you to stress-free and have plenty
of time to work on other activities too.
Build a habit of making notes and build daily work and
learn a habit. It will help in dealing with the last-minute
hurdle of doing all the things on last minute
Keep revising what you have learned, practiced different
questions will develop a learning habit. Also, when you
are self-managing the things you will be able to learn in an
easy bit process rather than learning the whole in one go. It
makes your mind burden-free as well.
These are some of the simple steps which will be followed by a student
to develop a self-management skill in them. It is important for a student
than an employee as the student stage is the initial stage of development and
if you have developed this habit from the student stage than you will not
feel any difficulty in managing things when you shift to the employment
stage. Also, you don't need to deal again with the whole process of
developing self-management skills.

How This Will Help Students

Developing self-management skills will help them in many
ways like
It will prepare them to face exam pressure easily.
Self-management will remove fear from the minds of
students of the exam as well as stage fear when they
actively participate as a volunteer in many activities.
Help in exploring their innovative approach with initiative
ideas to build success.

Some Important Rules for Self-Management

Self-management is not something about managing yourself only. But it
is about management that works with leadership. When you are processing
yourself towards self-management you must be known these simple rules of
self-management which are as follows;

Build your values, values are something that people can't

predict about how you going to behave letting them in
confusion
Always speak up, remember no one loves to hear when
you are thinking without any willing to speak and stand
up. It is something that people can’t do
Always make promises for your good work and honor
them. People love to see promise seekers because only
words cannot allow you to achieve attention
Always be accountable, take responsibility for work
without any fear with a positive attitude towards failure
and success. If you win you will credit with success but if
you fail you will learn something not to repeat that.
Be organized and composure, people love to hear and
work with the person who is well organized under
pressure.
Be an adapter and change acceptors. If you stick to the old
ethics of work you probably end up with your work so
always accept the changes and adapt accordingly.
Always be self-disciplined, a person working with
discipline will always positively achieve goals. When they
have discipline in life.
Be a good listener, a good listener is a good responder who
will listen to the words carefully and execute strategy
accordingly.
Be humble and stay positive, speaking politely and
behaving with humbleness as your key to success.
Last but not least stay healthy and positive keep negative
thoughts out of your mind to achieve self-management
skills.
 So, these are some of the simple rules that you can follow to develop
self-management skills to improve your emotional intelligence.
Some Tips of Self-Management for Job Interviewers

Reach on time on the location of the job interview.

Always dress informal ways to have a positive impact of
dressing sense.
Research on the company and about the job because when
you already know about company aspects what they are
dealing then it will leave a good impact.
Act positively with the calm mindset an example, don't
look like a juggler.
Be organized and show your initiative approach when
needed or asked.
Always remember you are not born with any habits, you become what
you learn. So self-management is not something you're born with, it will
build when you focus on the key points of success. As you have read this
chapter now, you will be able to learn things and develop self-management
skills in you. Self-management is the fundamental key to increasing your
emotional intelligence to deal with your life with positive aspects. one must
develop self-management skills in them. Learning, cultivating, and building
is the important aspects of self-management the person who is moving
ahead in developing self-management will also keep these points in mind.
 CHAPTER 3

SOCIAL-AWARENESS

Introduction to Social-Awareness

W hen you attend any social gathering event and feel surrounded by
friends or people. You will feel awkward silence when you are not
able to connect with them. People usually speak up the wrong thing at
the wrong time and then they simply keep quiet when they don't know what
to answer next. You will end up laughing nervously. It's all because you are
not socially aware enough to deal with social issues.
Social Awareness is the ability to comprehend and to take the
perspective of and appropriately act and react on social and personal issues.
In other terms, it means being socially aware of what is present around you,
how you have to react on that, and also how you accurately connect and
interpret the emotions of people. Social awareness is an important
component when you are raising your emotional intelligence. Without
socially active you are not able to interact properly with people in society. It
is the most important skill among all when you are raising the intelligence
level. Your EQ is what you deal with others and how you deal with them
and in that social awareness plays a vital role.
The person who gives you some useful advice on how to handle your
issue.
The supportive team leader who motivates the team for better result and
relate with the problem of others easily.
 The person who can convince the audience with their lecture.
All have one thing common in them which is social awareness.
They are well known by the facts of how they have to act, behave and
most importantly how to understand the emotions of others.
Daniel Goleman says that the skills that are associated with social
awareness are:

Empathy
Organization awareness
Services
When you can understand the emotion and shows correct concern to
them that's empathy.
Your ability to know about the social ethics and politics in an
organization and how it is affecting other's work that’s organization
awareness.
Your skills to know the need of the client and serve them right is
services.
Awareness of social situations means understanding the things that
people want and then plan accordingly to communicate with them.
Understanding is equal to the trust when you take feelings of seriously
and responds to their emotions quickly and you will be able to gain the trust
of the people. This thing you only achieve when you are socially aware.
Empathy is the ability to understand the point of view of others but that
doesn't mean you have to say yes when it wrong. Empathy is all about
acknowledging the emotions of others and thoughtfully take some decisions
and take consideration of the feelings of others.
You might be thinking of why I am mentioning the understanding,
empathy here in the chapter. Well, it is an important point of social
awareness as you have seen it is directly considered with the emotions and
perceptions and decision choice for others which is an important aspect of
connecting socially. When you can understand, you can empathize and to
able to socialize well.
Communication is a great tool for building social awareness.
Communication is the only way by which one can develop social
awareness.
The powerful leaders can empathize with the people and build a
powerful strategy to execute with a plan more firmly that deals with their
social issues .
How it is Helpful and Where
There is no odd practice by showing empathy to your employees.
Sometimes people think that other people took advantage of them when
they are humble to them.
But it's not that now if you can empathize with your employees to
become socially aware and let them work effortlessly without the burden of
emotions and failure. It will help you in connecting with your work filed in
a better way.
But the point will be the same when you know the importance of social-
awareness then how you could develop this social awareness skill in you. It
is an important key to emotional intelligence that should bring this quality
to them.
How to Develop Social Awareness in You
Social awareness is not something that you live with but actually, it's a
practice of listening and observing and executing. Many people would not
be able to understand how they would develop this habit in them. So,
focusing on this issue here we have explained some basic tactics which will
help you in developing social awareness in you;

Develop Listening Ability in You

Same as others you might think that you are a good listener then,
unfortunately, I have to say you may be wrong in that. The fact is that we
always think of our next response to hear what others say. A good listener is
someone who observes the situation first, understand the fact of the
situation and analyze emotions to respond to the person before hearing out
someone. When you build an ability to learn and listen slowly, you will self,
see the change and learn about your work and social organization more
carefully.
Repeat What You Listen
The best way to see what you have heard is to repeat the thing. Because
you might have listened to what others have said but you will not be able to
prove and explain what the person is saying to you. The reason might be
you don't have focused on others or you might be listening without
concentration. Simply when you listen and ask for a repeat to the person it
means you are paying attention to them and understanding them carefully.
For example, a student is explaining the actual reason for not doing work
on time and in response, being a good listener, you can say ‘I understand'
why you are late for work. It's fine but avoid this in the future. It simply
brings a change in attitude and also without showing aggression other
people also understand this politely.
Concentrate on listening is created and understanding between two
persons in the work field as well as the social field.
Never Forget to Pay Attention to the Tone of Voice
Well, when you are paying attention to the tone of voice of people you
will be able to understand many aspects like energy, expression, aggression,
love, behavior, etc. the voice tone says so many things in their own it will
directly affect your behavior.
 For example, you have given a task to two employees with a deadline
and the one employee response like No problem at all sir! I will try to
complete this on time. and the other employee says like how it is possible to
do sir this on this deadline with a heavy tone!
Both of the tones show two different aspects one is showing energy and
politeness and the other is showing aggression and rejection. Your tone of
voice is what you are feeling inside. So, always pay attention to the tone of
people carefully to act and respond.

Observe the Facial Expression and Body Language of People

Social awareness is not something to build in you by observing your
expression and body language. But one must notice the facial expression
and body language of the people also. It will help you in answering them in
a better way.
For instance; you are going to ask for a favor to your friend when he/she
was working but they say yes to you for your but the lines on their forehead
indicating that they might be uncomfortable in that. In that case, you will be
able to understand their behavior and emotions in the right way. Observing
the facial expression and their body language will give you a clue that they
are happy to communicate with you or not.

Observe How People React to What You Say to Them

People's responses will help you in being aware of their behavior. It
might be watching the nonverbal clues which are something not said but
you have to observe and listen carefully to what they say. Observing them
will make you aware of their intention also.
For example, you are talking to a person and you are just getting replies
like hmmm, ok that's great will stepping their foot's backs shows that the
person is not having interest in your conversation. So, you may leave it and
say politely to end the conversation.
On the other hand, if you observe that the person is talking to you and
smiling at you with eye contact and getting into your conversation is
genuinely interested.
 Observing the reaction will make you're aware of their intentions,
behavior, ignorance, and alertness. These are all vital aspects of being
socially aware .

Try to Avoid Drive-By

When you are going to develop social awareness in you another main
aspect is to avoid drive-by. It is something to be noticed and pays attention
to. Drive-by here simply means avoid interfering in the communication
between two people. Look at clues as you have done previously to
understand the feelings and reactions of others. And notice before
interfering that is this the right time to talk to the person or not. Try to avoid
drive-by and focus more on interaction. If you have work with the person or
you want to say something but you have observed that the person already
engages with others in the conversation and you are just a bone in that. It
will leave a bad impact on the other person. But instead of interference
politely ask them are they free to talk or not or if you have already seen this
is not the right time to talk then avoid that simply.
Use Gentle Words Always When Communicating with Others
Your words are what your personality reflects. Words are the most
powerful weapon of changing the situation or handling the same. Never use
hard words or abusive words when you are engaged in any conversation.
When you are speaking politely you will be able to gain the trust of the
individual. But if you are using hard language then you may lose trust.
Words have the power of building the trust and on the same point, it can
break the trust as well. When it comes to the talk of relation humbleness
reflect love and harshness hate.
For instance; your way of asking someone for a drink like would you
like to take some tea!
Or speaking like this you drink tea or not reflect two different intentions
and two different behaviors. Humble words enhance your social values so
always try to be polite with your words.
Talk to the Person Straight Forward or Answer Them
Correctly
 When you are answering to someone always make sure that you talk to
them straight and accurately answer them rather than confusing them or
leaving them in another question .
For example: when an employer asked you in an interview about your
future goals and you are answering like I am confused or I have no goals or
I am not something etc. it will leave a bad impression or you might losses
the opportunity of the job. Rather than this you first pay attention to what
the employer asked you and answer carefully like this ‘my future goals are
to become a successful entrepreneur and this job allows me to explore my
innovative skills to sustain better'

Last but Not the Least Engage in Social Activities

Participating in social activities will help you in engaging with the
people in a better way. You will be able to understand emotions, feelings,
interactions, and communication with people easily. It will also make you
socially aware of society to improve your emotional intelligence as well.
But here social participation doesn't mean you need to join politics or some
other social networks but here it simply means participate in any function of
your workplace, or any other organization where you can easily
communicate with people and understand their feelings and emotions and
behavior which in turn help you in getting aware about people's
perceptions.
These are the key points of how you will develop social awareness in
yourself. When you follow these activities, you will be able to become
aware of yourself by the social issues and how you can deal with them. But
always remember if you want to enhance your emotional intelligence you
will have to be patient while you are in the developing process. It is not like
you to think of eating your favorite food which you just grab it and eat. It is
a slowly progressing process in which you have to focus, learn, listen to the
people to be aware.
What Are the Benefits That You Will Receive When You Are
Socially Aware?
There are several benefits that you will receive when you are having
social awareness in which some of them are;
 You will be able to understand the social issues in a better
way
You will feel more connected to the people.
When you are socially aware you will feel your emotional
connection with the people.
You are more answerable to the people in a direct way and
straightforward way.
You will not hang yourself in confusions anymore
You will be a good observer and a socially active person
You will be able to connect and interact with the audience
instantly.
Most important it will help you in improving your relationship as well.
When you can understand the feelings and emotions of others and you can
connect with the situation rather than blaming it will improve your
relationship values.
Step Ahead with Improved Relationships
When you aren't socially aware then whether you are in personal
relationships or professional relation people thinks of you that you don't
care about their feelings and emotions and you have the goals you don't care
about others perceptions and opinions. By understanding and practicing
good listening and observation skills you will be able to socially aware and
deals with the other person with more focus. The other person will also
think that they are equally important to you as your own goals. When you
are socially aware you will step ahead with the improved relationship which
works for building trust.
The Thing That Must be Avoided While Social Awareness
When you are making yourself socially aware then empathy showing is
good. It will help you in understanding people's emotions but don't load
yourself with too much empathy. The reason is if you are involving in
someone's issues too much or deeply you will feel yourself emotionally
exhausted. Never forget to look towards your own emotions when you are
looking to others. When you self emotionally exhausted then how you think
you will be able to solve the issue of others.
Too much sugar makes you diabetic in a similar way too much empathy
ended up with exhausted feeling. Never take yourself for granted.
The other thing you need to focus on is to neglect the negative
perceptions that people throw on you. It will make you discomfort as well
as leave you with a low confidence level. But what you can do is take these
negative comments to improve yourself and convert it into your strength.
Remember that even god has haters too. so why don't you just listen it smile
it and improve it. These are the sign of socially aware people.
The Things to Learn More for Becoming Socially Aware
Being socially aware simply means you can understand and react to the
situation in a better way. But here are some aspects that you must learn
when you are in the ongoing process of social awareness like;

Identify the situations types that make you frustrated and

change your behavior accordingly.
Be an acceptor whether it is something negative about you
or positive always accept it and try to change this.
After having a conversation always asks for feedback. No
matter this feedback is bad for you or good, just ask. If it's
bad then try to change it but if it's good to keep
progressing and take it as a compliment.
Despite others also be aware of your body language as
well. if you are observing others then another person might
also be observing you as well. so, try to focus on your
body language.
Listen to people with an interest.
Use polite words to speak and keep your tone soft while
speaking.
Minimize your errors and maximize your learning
capability.
 Accept the truth about you.
Also, accept the thing that social awareness developing is a
slow and observing process you will be aware of what you
observe don't panic and frustrated when you are dealing
with this.

Example of Social Awareness

Eugenia (CEO of a company). On her way to business meetings with her
employees observe that something is wrong which she has observed while
dictating the business agenda by noticing the body language of her
employees. She is observing that the staff is not looking comfortable. But
instead of shouting or arguing she stops at the moment and asks for
feedback from her employees and also assure them if they have an idea
better than this simply put your views she will listen carefully and if needs
and look better will take that into existence too. next, she observes the
happy faces of her employees. Also, employees agree on her ideas. This is
the power of social awareness.
By reading this chapter you will be able to understand the deep meaning
of social awareness and why it is necessary to develop social awareness.
Strong social awareness will help you in improving your emotional
intelligence this chapter has cleared all the basic concept of social
awareness and also help you in developing them. We not only focused on
just developing also put some effort to tell you what not to do when you are
in a developing process. One must increase their emotional intelligence by
using these fundamental skills.
 CHAPTER 4

RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

hen you are on your way to increase your emotional intelligence with
W the fundamental keys then, the fourth most important key to increase
emotional intelligence is Relationship management. As a reader, you
might be thinking of this as managing your relationship in better ways.
Well, it may be or may not be the same term. Let’s take you to the point of
what exactly a relationship management is.

Relationship Management
Relationship management in simple terms is a way of maintaining an
ongoing level of relationship with people of an organization. The relation
could be between a client or a business person and between two business
persons. Creation relationship management aims to create a healthy
partnership and interaction between two individuals agree on the same
point. It involves a strategy to build customer or client support for business
and also for gaining loyalty.
 The key points of relationship management are;

It includes identification and analysis, the key tactics to

manage the relationships with people of the team as well
as outside the team.
Relationship management is the key to your EQ skills
which gives you a pathway of success and also help them
in inspiring others to achieve success.
Team management, collaboration, communication and
influencing team is all associated competencies of
relationship management.
Relationship management is the fourth most important pillar of
emotional intelligence. Your way of interaction with others and how you
hold the relations will show how much you have your emotional
intelligence.

Something That You Need to Understand About the

Component Relationship Management
The person with relationship management ability will
understand easily when people are in an angry mood,
hanging in depression, have negative thoughts in their
minds, then their team members will suffer from their
work. But the person who has this ability will know how to
deal with their negative emotions and build positivity in
them to take better output at work.
Daniel Goleman, who is the researcher of emotional
intelligence says that:
Relationship management is something about your communication
skills. It's a mindful game or you can say the ability to have the best output
from others. The relationship management skills load you with the ability to
inspire and influence the team. The ability to communicate and interact to
build a strong bond, change their mindset and ability to resolve conflict.
The story does not end here about relationship management. The conflict
management will help you in realizing when a situation is heading towards
any issue, it will make you able to understand the situation and give a quick
view of it. The teamwork and collaborations will define a pathway of
success for your business when you can maintain relationships and
contribute to the work easily. Building bond will make you able to create a
huge network of acquaintances and business person that will share mutual
benefits. Relationship management will help in developing other also.
When you know their abilities and strength you will motivate them to work
with more ambitions and increase their strength. This is the beauty of
relationship management.

Relationship management skills are one of the critical

skills to know and masters in that. To develop this skill,
you need to keep on practicing daily about this.

Types of Relationship Management

The two important types of relationship management are;
Customer Relationship Management
This type of relationship is managed between the business person and
the customer. The customer relationship management tool will help you in
building healthy customer support. This may require a huge amount of data
and their sales analysis to understand the market techniques and trending
views and customer tastes. This management program is based upon written
format or any digital marketing tool like newsletters, video tutorials,
advertisements, communication, etc. which provides tools and tactics to
build a bond between the customer and business person.
Business Relationship Management
This type of relationship is present between the business persons like
vendors, suppliers, distributors, and other business persons which can also
benefit from relationship management. The business relationship
management promotes a positive approach between two parties for
productivity enhancement and build trust and establish boundaries. It will
also help in sorting out conflicts between two.
 Communication is the best skill in solving many issues, especially when
it is done with emotional intelligence and good relationship management
skills. But the question may prevail in your mind that how you can build
relationship management skills in you?

Some Basic Tricks of Building Relationship Management Skills

Whether you are running a small business or big company smart
relationship management skills will help you in building trust, bond, and
helps you in having great out of your team members. Here we are going to
describe some of the tricks which will help you in building relationship
management skills. So, let’s start with the first one :
Be Aware of Your Customer Needs
Until or unless you are not able to make yourself familiar with the thing
that what your customer exactly wants. You will struggle to build a
relationship with them, also not able to grab their attention. Knowing
customer needs will help you in building a relationship with them and one
of the best ways of building this relation by survey in the market with the
existing customers and knows about their opinion and their taste will guide
you in building this relationship. You will then be able to convince them to
do business with you or make a purchase from you.

Learn the Basics of Direct Marketing Skills

Many people or business people spend lots of money on customer
acquisition, but they forgot the crucial thing which is time. remember the
value of time. the time that you spend with your business person or
customer will help in building or calculating relationship management.
Time is money and invests in learning the direct marketing skills which
simply means engaging in conversation with the customer to form
relationships and know their demand carefully. It will also help you in
maintaining a strong bond and link between your existing customers and
new ones as well.

Build the Ability to Connect with the Unknown Business

Person or Strange Customer
 Meeting new people and especially convincing them to turn into your
customer or business partner is not an easy task to do. But the person who
has a master's in the relationship management will do it easily. It is the most
important skill when you are developing your relationship management
skills. Getting engaged in a conversation with confidence, and persuasion
makes it even a bit faster. You don't need to put a bundle of knowledge
which they usually ignore. You can build this skill simply by starting
putting questions about their keen interest and then go on explaining the
key aspects of your business. This simple trick will help you in building the
ability to connect with strangers to convert them into your customers.
Always Be Ambitious and Motivator
What is the point of relationship management when you are not able to
motivate others and let them down by your negative thoughts?
Being ambitious and having a motivated approach is the key elements of
building a relationship for business success. Always be ambitious to know
from your existing customers what they are interested to buy and take a
survey to know about their needs. Being ambitious is not wrong. It is
important without ambitious mind you will not able to learn anything
special when you want to enhance business relationships. Also motivating
others for work and purchase is something to build a strong connection with
your prevailing customers. Online customer support will help you in
motivating others. With an ambitious mind and motivated approach, one
can never struggle with their target audience.

Keep the Knowledge of Sales Funnel

It's not an easy task to have your first customer. The reason will be the
same lack of relationship management skills. They are not able to know
their target customer and didn't concentrate on the sales funnel. This is the
utmost important relationship management skills, the ability to have new
customers with the existing ones. One of the simplest ways to do this by
using automated or systemized sales funnel. When you can keep knowledge
of sales funnel you will able to connect and interact with other customers
too.
Build Strategic Thinking Skills
When you want to manage long term relationships with your existing
customers or business person, then you must learn the ability to build
strategies accordingly. No wonders how good customer skills you have it is
impossible to build or manage relationships without any strategic plan.
Strategic thinking skills is something to use your mind and thinking
capability to build a plan by focusing on the do's and don'ts of your
business. Plan according to the customers thinking the approach will help
you in building a long-term relationship with your existing customers.
Relationship management is the mindful game of understanding,
communicating, interacting, and building trust which only you can achieve
through strategic thinking skills.

Keep the Knowledge of Customer Relationship Management

Software
Manually managing your whole customers and business person is still a
very difficult task to do. One who wants to build relationship management
skills will keep themselves familiar with customer relationship management
software. It will help you in maintaining a record of interaction with your
customers across organizations. You can know how to use this CRM facility
by Zoho CRM. It will give you a fair advantage in maintaining a
relationship with business organizations as well as the customer. Not only
this it will also help you in maintaining your customer record and build new
customers as well.

Big Score Thinking Skills

When you are building relationship management skills, you are not only
focused on just maintaining the existing customer relations to keep doing
business with you. It’s something more than that. Building relationship
which allows you to business to evolve alongside its customers too. and for
this, it is important to have a big score thinking capability in your mind.
The way how your business fits into the niche of others and how to do that.
When you have already a big picture in your mind you will be able to make
others understand what if the benefit of doing business with you instead of
others. Building high thinking skills with a set plan to convince others to do
business with you.

Build a Friendly Personal Attitude

Your friendly attitude will set an image in front of others. When you are
having a business or doing business and you are not able to maintain a
positive attitude in your profession then you will not able to manage your
relationship skills. The professional approach and positive attitude are the
keys to the success of managing relationships. So, one must try to maintain
a balance between professionalism and a friendly attitude to attract a
healthy relationship with customers. Your less formal attitude gives you
benefit in managing relationship skills. Often it will help you in having a
healthy conversation with your customers and business persons .
Last but not least.

Have Research Skills

When you have fantastic research skills from finding email addresses to
connect with the customers in a personal manner to locating your customers
through blogs and social networks will help you in getting an audience.
Most important contact them and review their queries from business
relationships is very important. One of the important ways of researching
people is through social networking or by having virtual assistant
programming. Having research skills will help you in building relationship
management skills. It will also help you in research on the do's and don'ts
list of your business.
The ability to have old relations by developing newer ones is what
makes you separate from others who can't develop relationship management
skills. By reading these simple relationship management skills one could
have a great relationship with their customers as well as business persons as
well.
But there will be a question in your mind about the importance of
relationship management. Why do you need to have this relationship
management? And why is it important?
To answer your questions let's pay some attention to the importance of
relationship management.

Importance of Relationship Management

It will help you in creating a bond between the existing
customer and ensure you that you don't need to work on
getting this audience again and again when once you have
built a relationship with them
It will help you in increasing your sales as well as
business. People love to business and make purchases with
the local business vendors and loyalty can only be gained
through relationship management skills
 It will help you in getting your image as a successful
entrepreneur when you maintain a healthy relationship
with your existing customers, they will able to make easily
multiple purchases
When you have prolonged good customer relationship
management it will also help you in attracting new
business person as well as new customers
A healthy relationship conversation will help you in setting
your separate identity from the rest.
It will help you in gaining a positive approach, high
thinking skills and make you able to understand and
connect with your customer's issues easily. This
relationship management skills will also help you in
resolving their issues in better ways.
Though the reason and importance explained here will not be enough to
explore the benefits of having relationship management because healthy
relationship management skills will load you with several benefits to
improve your business. This is the reason why almost every successful
business entrepreneur loves to focus on relationship management skills to
have long term connections with their customers as well as a business
person. They even spend a lot of money to build this .

Relationship Management as Emotional Intelligence

Relationship management involves a healthy communication strategy
and effectively handling the issues of the customers. It will help you in
enhancing your emotional intelligence when you can interact with the
persons around you understand their needs. When you are rising your
relationship management skills you will be able to see benefits when you
observe growth in your business. A solid relationship is something to be put
on weight upon. The weaker you are in connecting with people, the weaker
will be your emotional intelligence. It’s all about the quality you serve, and
how you behave towards them and how you can solve their issues. The one
who wants to improve their relationship management skills should also
practice these strategies.
The Three Basic Strategies to Improve Relationship
Management
Increase and Improve Your Natural Communication Way
One of the important strategies to improve your relationship
management is to improve the communication way. You might have heard
that communication is the solution to every problem. Your natural
communication skills will shape your relationships. Just look towards what
is your natural communication skills is whether it is direct or indirect,
comfortable, or serious, entertaining, or curious cool or intrusive. When you
know perfectly about your natural communication skills you will be able to
engage yourself easily with others too. for improving your communication
skills just write it down your downside as well like you create confusion
while talking, give weird reactions and stops while saying something. Try
to improve these confusions creating a point as it will lead to a bad impact
on the customer and also let down your relationship as well. now apply this
strategy to improve your skills of communication to achieve a relationship
with your customers for long term connections.
Ask for Feedback
Feedbacks are similar to the gifts received by the persons. When you
want to improve your relationship management skills one of the important
things in that is asking for feedback from the persons or customers. It will
help us in improving in many ways. Feedbacks are similar to opening a gift
pack. But whenever you receive any feedback from the customers you first
ask yourself some questions like what if I got negative comments in that,
how will I react to this and what if I receive a compliment? At this point
remind your first fundamental skill which is social-awareness and thinks
before you put your thoughts in the feedback. After that when you think
next you will apply your relationship management skills in this. Hold on
your emotion, take out a breath, think first before letting any comment in
the feedback. If it is the negative comment you don't need to show your
anger or any kind of frustration instead of that try to assure them you will
change this and sort out easily. Your way of representing also improves
your relationship .
Never Avoid or Neglect the Inevitable
Some people sometimes just push you to trigger your anger with the way
they communicate and express their feelings. Sometimes it often got worse
and you have no choice and deal with them with a pressed button. Then
what you do in that situation. Well, don't avoid the person because you will
either lose an opportunity to learn self-awareness and self-management
skills. Watch your emotions and also manage them according to the
situation will also help you in improving our relationship management. All
you can do is just try to put yourself into the shoes of them and try to
observe their body language. Look out them how they are responding to
you. Sometimes you may frustrate the other person just as they are doing to
you. These inevitable are not the thing to be avoided these helps you in
learning some good aspects of your social-awareness so that you can
respond to them in better ways.
These are the three simple strategies that will help you in improving your
relationship management skills. Communication, feedback and don't avoid
this inevitable. It will improve your responding power and also help you in
understanding your relationship management skills.
Now as you have read this chapter you will be able to understand the
importance of relationship management and why it is considered to be the
fourth pillar of emotional intelligence skills. When you raising your
emotional intelligence skills the things are incomplete without relationships.
It’s all about how you are acting and reacting with other people. But as you
have read this chapter now you will be able to understand their importance.
In this chapter, we have also included the importance of relationship
management as well as the tricks to develop your relationship management
skills which in turn help you in improving your emotional intelligence.
 CHAPTER 5

EMPATHY (CONCEPT, ENHANCEMENT, AND

ITS IMPORTANCE)

verything starts with ‘E’, especially when you are raising your
E emotional intelligence. Empathy is the most important aspect of rising
emotional intelligence. You might be thinking of what is this empathy?
And how it will enhance your emotional intelligence.
Let us make you clear about the term empathy.
Empathy is defined as the ability to understand the emotions of other
people. The term empathy has also been used to describe the range of
experience. Meanwhile, empathy is like keeping yourself in the situation of
others and understand others' emotions about what they are thinking of.
This term was introduced by psychologist Edward B. Titchener in 1909.
Many people watching other people in pain and response to them in a
sympathetic way and give a clear vision to show that empathy is not a
universal response to the suffering of another person.
 You may think that it is the only type of empathy but you may be wrong
the empathy may be of three types let us have a look at this.

The Types of Empathy

Affective Empathy
Affective empathy involves the ability to understand the emotions of
another person and respond to them correctly. This kind of emotional
understanding will show concern for another person's well-being .
Somatic Empathy
Somatic empathy involves a sort of having a physical reaction in
response to what someone else is suffering or experiencing. Sometimes
people may experience it physically what another person is feeling. It is like
when you see someone else feeling embarrassed then you might start a
blushing or upset stomach.
Cognitive Empathy
It involves the ability to understand the mental state of another person
and what they might be thinking in response to that condition. This is
something that a psychologist refers to the theory of mind or thinking to
understand what other people are thinking.
These are three types of empathy that a person must have to enhance
their emotional intelligence. Without understanding the emotions of others,
you are not able to understand the feeling and connection with other people.
It is also necessary to enhance this empathy as this is the second most
important concept of emotional intelligence.
Explanation About Empath y
Human beings often load with several kinds of emotions and they are
often capable of selfish, even cruel, behavior. But there have been certain
theories proposed to explain empathy. According to neuroscientific theory,
research has shown that the specific areas of the brain plays a vital role in
experiencing and responding to empathy. But mostly these are focused on
cognitive empathy. Whereas according to emotional explanation, the
philosopher Adam Smith prescribed that sympathy makes us able to
understand things in better ways which can involve a feeling of empathy for
both real as well as an imaginary character. But according to prosocial
explanation, the empathy served as an adaptive function and rules for the
survival of species. It leads to the helping nature of people which will
directly help in benefiting social relationships. This is because we are
natural creatures that experience emotions. Though different theories with
different opinions but the context is the same as behaving and
understanding the emotions. When people experience empathy, they will
easily able to engage in social behavior and understand emotions in a better
way.

What Benefits You Will Receive from Empathy

You can receive several benefits that you experience from empathy in
which some of them are;

Empathy allows you to build up a social connection with

other people. You can understand it by thinking and feeling
the situation of people. People will respond more easily in
social situations.
Empathizing with others will help you to control your
emotions. The regulation and controlling of emotions are
very important because it will allow you to control and
manage what you are feeling and how you will express it
in front of others.
Empathy enhances the helping nature of an individual
towards others. You are more likely to help others and
yourself when you experience empathy.
 The people who lack empathy will not be able to raise their emotional
intelligence and often feel distressed and distracted and they are not able to
feel social connectivity. But have you ever wondered why people lack
empathy?
There may be some reason why people lack empathy like;

They fall to the victim as cognitive. The way people

assume the world around them is influenced by cognitive
biases. For instance; people attribute to the failure of other
people while blaming their external factors. These
sometimes makes you unable to understand and perceive
the emotions of others
The people also lack empathy who fall victim to trap them
in their thinking by showing that they are different from
other people and also do behave the same as they do.
The people who lack empathy also blame others to fall off and their
circumstances. Though there are many reasons for lacking empathy. But
there will be some reason for enhancing your empathy. You might also be
thinking of how it will enhance your empathy? Can I do it on my own or I
need some help? Therefore, to deal with all the aspects here are some of the
easy steps that make you able to enhance your empathy.

The Elements of Empathy

Daniel Goleman discovered the five elements of empathy which are as
follows,
Understanding others: this is the most important concept of empathy
which is understanding. the ability to sense others' feelings and perspectives
and taking active participation to deal with that. The person can do this by
looking to the non-verbal cues, emotional speech and listen to them
carefully by paying full attention. then show some sensitivity and realize
the situation of others.
Developing others: Developing others mean put some action on their
needs and concerns and help them to develop their internal power and
potential by motivating them. people who have masters in the skills of
empathy will reward and praise people to build strength in them, support
them in their downfall and accomplished them to develop and realize their
full potential. You can also give some feedback on their work and other
activities to motivate them and improve them. The person with these skills
can also provide them coaching to help them.
Have service orientation: The main aim of service orientation is to put
the needs of the customer first and find out the ways to give a satisfactory
solution to bring and loyalty. The people with the skills of empathy can go
the extra mile to have a full proof connection with their customers to load
them with their needs. They can understand their situation and can also go
out of their way to help them out with their situations. Having service
orientation is the third general key of empathy to build it and enhance it.
Moreover, people with developed empathy skills can prove themselves as
trusted advisors to their customers. and help in developing a long-term
relationship.
The leveraging diversity: leveraging diversity means the ability to
create and develop the opportunity through people of a different kind by
recognizing the ability and opportunity to celebrate it on the same point
table. But it also does not mean that you will equal treatment to the people
in the same way that they give it to you. Rather it simply means respecting
and relating to every individual regardless of their background. allowing
understanding the diversity of thinking and planning in teamwork. It will
contribute to the success of the individual as well as the company. The
people who have masters in these skills and good at leveraging diversity
can also challenge the intolerance for creating a relatable atmosphere for
growth.
Political awareness: one of the most important elements of empathy is
political awareness. You may also thoughts that political skills are
manipulative. But you might be wrong in that it simply a skill of
understanding and sensing the emotions of a group of people and
effectively respond to them. it will help you in powering the relationship
with the people. The people with the skills of empathy are blessed with the
ability to navigate the organizational relationships effectively and help them
in sorting out the trouble. It will also help in getting success in that area
where others failed.
 These are the basic elements of empathy that will show how you will get
a master's in empathy. understanding, developing, and executing the plan in
a better way. if you have known these elements now you may look forward
to the step of increasing empathy. A stepwise guide of enhancing sympathy
will help you to gain empathy easily let's take a look at it.

Steps to Increase Empathy

Always Be Quite from Both Inside and Outside
The more you will be quite with your brain, the more you will hear your
emotions. For this, you can meditate. Keep your mind empty as long as you
can. It will help you in boosting empathy.
Always Ask Yourself What Are You Feeling About Yourself
Empathy is not only understanding the emotions of others but also
emotional awareness of yourself. When you can understand the emotions of
yourself you will be able to understand the emotions of others more clearly.
For this, you require to teach your brain to access and label your emotions
reactions. Try to ask yourself what and how you are feeling. By simply
focusing on your behavior and feelings. Have some emotions in you, it will
help you in getting your emotions and feelings in a better way. Thereby
enhance your empathy as well.

Test Your Instincts

When you are having a conversation with someone else, always tell
other people or person what kind of emotions you are experiencing. Or you
can simply ask the other persons they are also feeling the same emotions.
Keep in mind to be calm and patient when you are responding to them. It
will help them in recognizing their state of emotions as well. even if you get
wrong about yourself, it will help you in identifying your emotions.
Allow People to Speak First
Always allow another person to speak first, it will help you in
experiencing the emotion of another person as well. give a platform to the
people around you in your work area and another area where they need to
speak first, try to get their point of view and then you will experience more
emotional connection and build a bond. You will also get experience to
view things from a different point. This is an important step when you want
to enhance your empathy.

Check Your Behavior

We all have behavior in life which will reflect our personal as well as
business life. For instance; when you are stressed and annoyed then you
might feel your distance from other people and also you are not able to
correlate with the situation. By realizing and putting some effort to know
your behavior one can overcome this problem and you will be able to
behave in a good manner with enhancing empathy level.
Try to Know People Personally
Although many people never get down to a personal level. Try to build a
connection with your family, friends, and colleagues by having deep and
personal conversations with them. Connecting with people on a personal
level will help you in letting know them deeper and not only it will help you
in increasing your empathy level. You will be able to connect easily to any
situation of people.

Always Try to Experience New Things in Life

When there is the talk of enhancing empathy, it is not necessary to only
connect and deal with the emotions only. The things may arise differently
even outside the workplace as well. try to experience new things in life by
meeting with new people and new persons. Do something interesting that
you will love to do and learn something from that. It will help you in
dealing with the perspective on life changes.

Load Yourself with Knowledge

To understand your work and how to handle your work and emotions
together cultivate knowledge and be wise in your choice. Bring some time
in your life to learn new things you can study a book on empathy or watch
some interesting documentary about life. It will help you in enhancing your
knowledge. It will also help you in implementing different strategies to
become a wiser person.
Ask for Some Feedback from Other s
Whenever you are interacting with another person, try to ask them for
feedback on your relationship with them. It will help you in checking how
you are responding to other persons as well as how to behave with them. It
will directly help you in enhancing the empathy inside you.
Try to Explore Your Heart as Well
Emotions are not only what you are interacting with the other person by
using your brain but also reflect in the way how to explore your heart as
well. so, when you are on the way to enhance your empathy try to explore
your heart as well. it will benefit your relationship and behavior as well.
Build Curiosity Inside You
When you have a curious mind, you will automatically explore so many
different things. you will relate yourself with the position and situation of
others. You will be curious to know about themselves, and you will be able
to better communicate with them so always have some curiosity in your
head to do land to learn things in better ways. it will help you in improving
your empathy.

Challenge Yourself at Each Step of Life

When you are accepting the challenges, you will be able to accept the
things and respond to them in better ways. push yourself outside the
comfort zone and try to learn new skills. you will be able to develop new
professional competency. doing things like this will make build humble
content in you and it is the key to empathy.
Build the Listening Ability
A good listening habit is a key to enhancing your emotional intelligence
and the same is for empathy as well. when you are a good listener, you will
be able to learn the feelings, emotions, and behavior of another person. this
will help you in connecting with them more firmly than any other way.
listening means you are paying attention to their emotions and also paying
attention to their feelings and have a better understanding of what they are
feeling in that situation.
 empathy is the art of dying. whether you are a man or woman every
individual needs to raise empathy to some extent to know deeply the
emotions of others and their situations as well. life is so distracting and
loud, which makes it difficult to learn the emotions of others as all are busy
in their vital aspects. the less we are aware of empathy, the less you will
tune into other life and feeling their emotions. these are simple steps of
enhancing your empathy level to deeply understand the other situation as
well. it will also help you in enhancing your emotional intelligence
putting a step ahead about empathy many of you may have a question in
your head why there is a need to enhance the empathy in yourself. what is
the importance of empathy in our lives and how it helps us in increasing our
emotional intelligence?
so, moving ahead to know the importance of empathy in life.
The Importance of Empathy
Empathy is a skill of emotional intelligence when we practice it, we
grow stronger and it makes us able to understand emotions of a person,
strengthen our ability to learn things and communicate in a better way.
here's take a look at why empathy is important to us;

Empathy Builds Leadership Quality in You

The people who are skilled at understanding the situation and feelings of
other people and respond accordingly are more likely to have leadership
qualities. the leaders with empathy skills motivate team members to do their
best. they listen to their team members and understand the needs and
contributions of others as well. they have a shared vision in them which will
directly show in their work. this is one of the reasons which shows the
importance of having empathy skills in you.
Empathy Makes to Able to Think Differently
Empathizing with the other person and putting yourself in their shoes
will help you in understanding them and finding better solutions for them. It
develops our thinking ability to explore more ideas to sort out the things in
beautiful ways. Empathy provides us the first five idea designing thinking
framework which will help in knowing others' circumstances in a better
way.

Empathy Helps in Boosting Productivit y

Empathy makes you able to build a connection with work. It helps in
motivating and increasing product output. When we can understand our
employees and help them in the down situation and motivate them to work
hard and more than it will directly help in boosting productivity. This is not
only limited to only the work field but also when you have empathy skills
you will ab able to motivate you, child, to read more learn more to have
better performance in their work field. Empathy brings a positive smile on
you when people see these happy faces then they automatically feel
motivated to enhance productivity.
Empathy Gives You a Competitive Advantage
Empathy loads us with a competitive advantage as well. The increasing
technology changes the way you do business and interact with each other.
when you have built the empathy, it will open the channels of success and
compete in better ways. but the person who is not able to put an innovative
approach in their work field is not able to relate themselves with other
needs which ultimately reflect in their business. this is the reason why
empathy is important, it will help us in applying innovative ideas, helps in
exploring the needs of other people and fairly allow us to have the
advantage of this to build success rate.

Empathy Boosts Up the Effective Collaboration

The people who are mastered reading the emotions of others only on
they are non- verbal cues will tend to have effective collaboration with
people. sometimes if a team member is feeling uneasy with their decision
and lacking the confidence to do that work easily and if you can notice that
on their faces and interact with them to sort out their emotions and motivate
them to do more labor support them in their work will boost collaboration
in them. Empathy skills build collaboration through deep conversations
with others. However, starting a conversation is still not easy to understand
emotion. But if you have builds up the Empathy skills in you than you will
able to have effective collaboration with others.
Empathy Skills Elevate Satisfaction Level in You
Research shows that the way of human interaction is the prime source of
judging people and build equality. It will serve emotions and feelings. when
you can satisfy the feelings and needs of other people you will also get the
feeling of satisfaction inside you which gives you eternal peace as well.
empathy skills elevate the satisfaction level of emotions in you. it will also
help in building trust and loyalty in the business as well as the public sector.
you will feel more connected and more satisfied with yourself. your focus
kind attention and understanding ability is the key to achieving satisfaction
level in you, it will boost it up with empathy skills. this is another reason
why empathy skills are important when we are building emotional
intelligence in ourselves.

Empathy is The Center of Every Mission

Without empathy, one can lack many services that can prevent violence,
disease, and poverty. Therefore, the ability to understand others' experience
is also important to understand and focus on their emotions and you will be
able to deliver high-quality facilities to another person whether you are in
business or to satisfy your customers it plays a vital role in that. The person
with enhanced empathy skills will be able to centralize in every situation.
you might feel disconnected if you are not having empathy skills in you.
Empathy Raise Investment in Business
You may have been thinking of how it will enhance the investment in the
business. we’ll let us give you some examples of that; when you have a
conversation within investors to impress them and motivate them when you
have empathy skills you will easily connect what they are expecting and
how you will understand their needs and answer them perfectly to meet
their demand and motivate them for investment.
so, these are some of the reasons why empathy skills are important in
life. One with empathy skills able to enjoy success at each step of life.
emotional intelligence rising gives you loads of benefits and makes you
able to understand the concept of other emotions more easily. you will feel
more connected with another person and the most important thing is that
you will be able to answer in a better way. By reading this chapter, you will
be able to understand the concept of empathy also have a pathway by
following which you will be able to enhance your empathy skills. it will
also help you in knowing about the importance of empathy skills and how it
will lead to rising your emotional intelligence to live a better life.
 CHAPTER 6

HOW TO MANAGE AND REDUCE TOXIC

RELATIONSHIP

elationship sometimes faces challenges which bring stress and anxiety

R in you. This stress and anxiety create toxicity in your relationship which
may end up with breakup and finally separation. But it’s good to be out
of toxicity rather than dealing it which may affect your health too. but you
may have thought of what this toxic relationship is and why you need to
come out of this. Let us put some highlight on this toxic relationship

What is a Toxic Relationship?

The relationship is termed as toxic when your well-being is threatened.
This can be either emotional well-being or physical or physiological. When
you observed physical abuse in your relationship that is considered toxic.
Often concerning when one is giving more than they deserve and getting
nothing in return is a toxic relationship. Especially when you feel you are
not been valued as you deserved are some of the things in relationships that
are considered toxic. The person may feel depleted and even affect their
physical health as well.
 Suppose you are in a relationship and you feel you are constantly feeling
that you are not respected, you feel depressed and low, misunderstood,
unsupported is thought to be a toxic relationship. In most simple terms the
toxic relationship left you in the worst condition is a toxic relationship.
You can experience toxic relationships in your family, friends, group, in
your workplace and as well as business. This toxicity in a relationship is so
stressful is if it is not managed on time .
But it does not mean you need to quit or give up, yes it can be managed
with some healthy tricks, care, and most important awareness. Before we
could proceed for tips and tricks to manage toxic relationship first you
should know the signs of a toxic relationship which indicate you that your
relationship is getting toxic.
Are you in a toxic relationship?
How you will check out your relationship is toxic or not?
Look at These Signs Which Tell You That Your Relationship Is
Toxic.
You Are Not Able to Trust Yourself Anymore
When you own choices looking wrong to you and you start getting doubt
on your own voice and you start feeling anxiety and difficulty in making a
decision then you might be in toxic relationships.
You Are Constantly Being Corrected by The Other Person
If your partner constantly thinks to correct you again and again on little
things. you might start thinking that you are wrong and they are right. They
feel that you are not having mind then you might be in a toxic relationship.

You Start to Speak Lie About Your Feelings

When you have any kind of argument with your partner or another
person you probably do not want to encounter in the second one then you
start hiding your feelings what you are feeling which creates an emotional
burden on yourself and that feels toxicity.
You Constantly Apologize Even Though It’s Not Your Mistake
When your partner constantly makes you feel that you are the faulty one
then you start apologizing even on the things that you have not done. It
creates a sign of toxicity.
They Also Turn Other Persons Against You
When you argued with each other, and if your partner often invokes
another person against you to whom you love or respect like friends, family,
etc. they start saying that the person whom you love not like you even my
family don't like you at all. Not only this they will start speaking negative
things against you to others so that other people will start going against you
as well. this is a sign that you are in a toxic relationship.

They Start Denying You When You Call Them to Meet

When the other person starts ignoring you on little things even when you
call them to meet, they simply say they are busy or make some excuse for
not meeting. When they feel they are losing an argument because you have
proof to prove them wrong then they might start ignoring you. The person
often denied you to have contact.
You Start Excusing Them
The time when you will do everything in terms of power to make an
excuse for them, that time you will even blame yourself for their behavior.
This is the time when people start noticing your toxic relationship and
reckless behavior. You even start giving excuses for their behavior to others
by explaining reasons when people noticing who is the wrong one.
They Make You Feel That You Are Too Sensitive to Handle the
Things
Whenever you are with them and had an argument or something you
both are not agreed with but you not able to handle those things then they
may point you by saying that you are too sensitive to handle the things.
when often they abuse you instead of pointing them wrong you start
thinking of yourself that you might be too sensitive to handle the relation.
This creates toxicity.
They Even Prescribed You as Insane
Saying you insane is the master card of toxic relation. This is because it
is the way of denoting you as a doubtful person. You even start doubting
yourself when they called you insane.

No Trust in Between You

When you have trust issues, even if they say to you that they are outing
with their friends, but you don't trust they are saying or not. You might
think that they are having other relations. Having no trust leaves so many
unanswered questions in your mind that you feel pissed off. It leads to
toxicity in relation. When you don't have trust, you might have a toxic
relationship.
Constantly Phone Checking
Constantly checking the phone of your partner and keep on asking to
whom they are talking or messaging is a way of saying you don't trust them.
It might be a sign of a toxic relationship. Often continue the checking of
phones of your partners will lead to creates trust issues as well .
So, these are some of the basic signs which told you that you are in a
toxic relationship. These signs will not only sign of a toxic relationship but
often engaging in these activities will create toxicity in a healthy
relationship.

How Toxicity in Relation Affect You

The toxicity of relationship will affect you in many ways like;

It affects your emotional intelligence.

You will always feel the burden of emotions in your head.
You do not live physically fit.
Stress and anxiety push you towards depression.
It will affect your mental health.
You will develop trust issues and not able to trust easily on
another person.
 You feel accused and abused always.
You also have developed a fear of having someone in your
life.

How to Manage and Deal with The Toxic Relationship

Now as you have clear about the toxic relationship and what are their
signs and how they affect you. Now the next step you will learn about the
types of toxic relationship and tips to manage them and reduce them let us
start with the first one;

Dynamic Toxicity
The toxicity is not always because of one person or the other person. It is
often how you both interact with each other which will bring the worst in
both of you. It will result in toxic dynamics. If you don't understand still let
us took the example of that
You both are competitors of each other and push always to do best to
enjoy your dynamic which is fine enough but like you, both want to be
motivated by each other for your hard work and want some emotional
support. But instead of supporting each other you both are letting down to
each other which creates dynamic toxicity in your relations as well.
similarly, they might start negative gossip about you. It develops a
competitive peak in you. And leads to dynamic toxicity in you.

What You Should Do to Reduce This

Well, if you find yourself in a toxic dynamic where you both pushing
each other to bring out the worst in you both. But you may want to work
that toxic relation to reduce that and change the dynamic toxicity. Then you
both be assertive about what you need and what you feel and take
responsibility for that by your own not letting in doubt to each other.
Attempt to talk to each other and creates healthy boundaries. It often gives
you benefit when you actually talk about the issue and decide together if
you want to change or not. It will help you in sorting out the toxicity.

The Irritating Toxicity

 Not all relationships have a mutual understanding. Some may agree on
one thing while others will not. One may keep on complaining about little
things while others will constantly suck your energy. This kind of irritation
causes irritating toxicity in relations. In some cases, one person is always
kept on arguing with another person which may lead to irritation in others'
minds. They may develop the problem of reckless communication with
each other. And often forgot the way of healthy communication. It is more
likely that they don't have social cues to know what makes them frustrated.
they even are not ready to hear properly to each other.

What You Should Do to Reduce This Toxicity

You simply need to cut off the timing that spends with each of the people
who bring frustration in you. All you need is to talk about the things and
problems that you both are suffering and how you deal with it and see what
change you observe after that. The people who lack self-awareness and
social awareness skills can practice them to reduce this toxicity. If you have
irritating toxicity concerning your family member or any co-worker then
you try to limit the interaction and try to stand by yourself to deal with this.
Heavy Toxic People Relation
Many people like narcissists try to gather people's attention every time.
they need to get admired by other people. They may intentionally
sometimes let other downs and insult other people as well. well, you never
say it clearly that they are doing it intentionally or without knowing what
they are doing. They consistently make you feel bad by yourself. It will lead
to unhappiness in you. If you are in the company of such heavy toxic people
then it will lead to having a heavy toxic relationship.
The Solution to Reducing This
The only best solution for treating this is to keep or maintain a distance
from heavy toxic people in your life. You cannot change them as they are
letting you down often, they may not be able to understand your point of
view. So, the only way to reduce this type of toxicity in your life is to keep
a distance. Confronting them will not be able to bring wrath on them. This
is because the narcissists are bad in admitting their fault. They don't even
want to realize their mistakes but the only thing you do is just distance
yourself from them to live a happy and toxic-free life.
When you are going to deal with the toxic relationship the important
thing that you do first is your care, health, and well-being. If you ever feel
stuck in a toxic relationship that creates threaten in you and your emotional
and or physical well-being you need to seek help from others and often deal
by yourself by using these simple tricks that we are going to explain further
Some Other Tricks to Reduce Toxic Relationship
Accept That Your Relationship Is Toxic
When you are experiencing a toxic relationship, then you need to get out
of your confusion and accept that toxicity to deal with this. At some
moment you often start making excuses and justify your partner's behavior
especially when you in long term relations. But it is time to face reality and
accept that toxicity of relation. Probably the other will do the same for you.
By not accepting you only sowing the bad things, like lies, cheats,
humanities.
Stop Believing This Relationship Is Bes t
When you accept that the relationship is toxic as we have explained
above, then on the same point you need to stop believing that your toxic
partner is the one who loves you with all your flaws. Often stop believing
that your toxic relationship partner will understand you and love you. It will
let you in a panic situation. You will only find yourself alone. This
desperation will stop you from your boundaries. Before letting yourself
down you can let yourself engage in activities that you love to do start
doing your hobbies, join the gym, meet with friends. When you will be able
to give yourself the time you automatically stop believing in that toxic
relationship.

Detox Yourself
Detoxing is something releasing toxins from your body out. Similarly,
when you waste your precious time on something that is not working you
probably die with the toxic. Keep yourself away from the contact of the
people which enables you to put yourself forward. The only way to detox
yourself is to stop getting in contact with the toxic person and engage
yourself with some new healthy individuals that might give you healthy
communication and work on yourself better than the previous one. It’s time
to fill yourself with some positivity in you.
Moves Towards Self-Growth
Instead of investing your whole time in fixing the things to work well,
spending time to understand your toxic relation it better to quit on the point
when others are not putting efforts for the same. Rather than wasting your
time use your whole energy to self-growth. Do meditation, engage yourself
in new activities where you can sue your caliber to do best, read books.
Sometimes, a strong attraction towards someone creates trouble while you
are growing yourself. Hold back to the things and wait for sometimes. This
simple trick will help you to avoid another relationship disappointment.
So, these are simple tricks that you need to learn to reduce toxic
relationships. It will benefit you and leave your burden of emotions. Some
other tips that will help you in managing the toxic relationship and help you
reduce that toxic .
Let’s Take A Look at Other Tips to Manage the Toxic
Relationship
Relationships at a certain level face challenges when you are in long-
term relations especially. These kinds of challenges leave you in anxiety as
well as stress. Here we are going to explain some other useful tips that will
help you de-stress your toxic relationship let’s have a look;

Always be respectful even then you are not feeling that

you are getting respected. Disrespecting each other will
cause long term damage to relations. Always remember
there is no excuse in any bad behavior just accept and
avoid and stop disrespecting each other.
No matter how many difficulties arise in you and your
partner always try to commit to managing a healthy
relationship. Eliminate what comes as an obstacle in your
path and heal the wounds. Remember quitting is not an
option it often leaves you thought inside mind of yourself
that you are not good. If you feel a problem just try to fix
it.
The most important thing is to take care of yourself first.
When you are not having something to give and respect
then how can you save your relationship and reduce
toxicity from them. Develop some power support inside
you make yourself passionate to make your relationship
work. Most important don't think that the other person will
care for you, you have to do it by yourself only.
Make some regular emotion floods to encourage, stroke,
appreciate your partner. Sometimes it loads your partner
with positivity and removes negativity from your relations
thus help you in reducing toxicity from your relation.
When you do it for your partner then you will self feels the
positivity from the other side too.
Make eye contact with your loved ones daily at least once.
It will show you are giving attention to them, loads them
with affection. Not only this will help you in building an
opportunity for building a deeper connection that will help
you in running your relations long term.
Build a habit of acceptance. Accepting the weakness, flaws
of your partner will help you in eliminating toxins from
your relations in a better way you can shift from your
dislikes to the points that you like the qualities in them. It
also appreciates them for what they are. Remember that
loving is a choice but accepting them is your wish. If you
load the acceptance you will get the return of the same as
well from your partner. it will also help you in managing
the relation toxicity as well. it also shows that you care
about them.
Always try to maintain healthy boundaries to protect your
relation and family from the common invaders that will
build conflict and often creates toxic in your relationship.
You can also plan for an intimate section. You probably
don’t wait for this let it just happen. Deep relations require
time, effort, and planning. Always take the responsibility
of maintaining the environment, emotions as well as a
mental state which will help you in improving your
relationship connections.
Try to conserve your energy for your relation also. You are
doing a lot of stuff in your daily activities which consume
your energy. But always try to save energy to put some
effort into your relations. If you have limited energy you
will try to spend it out in a positive manner rather than
conflicting on little things. but remember when you don't
create boundaries in your work to limit the energy you
probably not able to give priority to your loved ones.
Priorities for loved ones always matter they also long for
some quality time with you which you never forget to
spend to maintain a healthy relation.
Last but not least, always live in truth and accept the truth.
Always have a mission in your life. If the thing is not
working accept the truth and ask yourself first if the
 relationship is not working? Or there is a need to change
something or just leave it. If you need some help you don't
shy to ask help from others as well.
Some of the tips that will help you in maintaining your toxic relations.
These simple tricks will often reduce the toxicity that you are feeling in
your relationship as well. it will help you also in dealing with the stress that
you are suffering from. Using these simple tips and tricks often loads you
with plenty of benefits like improves your relation, save you from physical
abuse, improves your physiological health. The most important thing is that
it maintains a healthy relationship that you could enjoy. Always remember
that toxicity builds with your mind struggle, your behavior, and your way of
communication and not able to trust. Try to increase your emotional
intelligence by increasing the fundamental skills like social-awareness as
well as self-awareness which will help you in understanding the emotions
of others in a better way which in turn helps in reducing toxicity from the
relation. Reading this chapter will guide you in details about toxicity and
how you could manage the toxicity to living a healthy life.
 CHAPTER 7:

WHY RAISING YOUR EQ SKILLS IS SO

IMPORTANT?

n the previous chapters, you have read about the four important pillars of
I emotional intelligence. How these four pillars will help you in enhancing
your emotional intelligence. Though you have read about the various
steps or rising your four skills and also know the benefits of them. But have
you ever tried to know about why you need to raise these emotional
intelligence skills?
where it is helpful to us and how ?
Coming to our next topic of emotional intelligence which is,
 Why raising your EQ skills is so important? But before that one could
be familiar with the fact of EQ skills. So, let us start with the topic

What Are the EQ Skills?

The term ‘emotional intelligence’ refers to the capacity of an individual
to understand, process, regulate emotional information clearly and
effectively. The emotional intelligence or EQ skills deal with the emotions
perceiving of both yourself and others. The emotional intelligence can put
us on the pathway of living a satisfied and happy life by providing us a
frame to apply intelligence to respond to the emotions and understand that
these responses may be consistent or inconsistent with a particular belief.
The term was made popular by the psychologist Daniel Goleman with
his own written book
‘Emotional intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ ’
Before the term has been introducing, we tend to think of our emotions
and intelligence as a separate case that deals separately. But putting them
together in the form of emotional intelligence provides us a different
approach because it enhances the capacity to be aware of things and
emotions, control and how we express them and also leads to handle the
personal relationship empathetically.
In 1995, The Goleman has also been introduced the five main keys of
emotional intelligence and also says that these skills can be learned where it
is absent and improved from where it is present, unlike one's intelligence
quotient. The five important skills of emotional intelligence that we have
already explained in the previous chapters are;
Self-Awareness: A self-aware person knows their strengths and
weaknesses better. The person will be better aware of responding and
reacting to the situation of people as well.
Self-Regulation: As the person is self-aware, emotionally intelligent
people will be able to regulate their emotions in better ways by keeping an
eye on the importance .
Self-Motivation: The people who have high emotional intelligence tend
to be highly motivated, which helps them in making more optimistic.
 Empathy: The people with empathy developed will be able to connect
themselves with the emotions of others easily.
Social Skills: Those who can build social skills in them would be able to
show their genuine concern for and respect others. Often, they get easily
interact with them.
Emotional intelligence has shown an important role in the success of an
individual. It will help in improving mental and physical health too. It was
suggested that people with high emotional intelligence can perform better
than those people who have lower emotional intelligence skills. Though the
importance of raising EQ skills should not be appreciated, the ability to
understand the emotions and realizing them will raise your potential.
So, whether it is the ability to connect with other people and improving
your communication, you want to achieve success in your business or social
relationship. you are going to deal with your stress and improving
motivation or if you want to increase your decision-making skills,
emotional intelligence played a very important role in that. let us start with
the importance of raising emotional intelligence skills;
The Importance of Raising Emotional Intelligence Skills
A beautiful thought was given by Daniel Goleman
The people may forget what you said to them, they may forget what you
did to them, but they will never forget how you made feel to them
Here, we are going to discuss the reason why raising EQ skills is
important so let’s start with the first one
The Raising of EQ Is Important for Resilience
There is no doubt that EQ is an important tool to use in the face of
adversity; it has the potential of enhancing personal resilience. When one is
focusing on their resilience, which means the capability of an individual to
cope up with their stress condition. The recent research shows that a person
with a higher level of emotional intelligence skills is less likely to succumb
to the negative impact of stressors. The one could increase their
responsibility to coincide with the elevated potential stressors. further, that
shows a link between emotional intelligence, resilience as well as their
correlation between resilience. Those who have developed emotional
intelligence skills will also display greater resilience and are less likely to
burnout through depression.

The Raising of Emotional Intelligence Skills and Motivations

Emotional intelligence is helpful in motivation and turns motivations are
the key to success. The individual with emotional intelligence can
understand the deeper meaning of their aspirants and for that self-
motivation skills are necessary to achieve them. whether you are concerning
your work, personal goals and health motivation is necessary to bring
success. In 1995, Goleman identified the four elements of emotional
intelligence that makeup motivations which in turn help in our life drive to
improve it, our commitment to the goals we have for us.
In 2016, Magnano et al assert that motivation is the basic process that
will stimulate us to achieve the desired success. It will help in arising
energy, performance in our work. and pushes us to achieve full potential.
The individual with emotional intelligence not only has skills for self-
motivation but also required skills to motivate others too. where self-
motivation is the skills to achieve your own goals, the person with
emotional intelligence tends to motivate others to achieve their goals.
Emotional Intelligence and Job Performance
The increase in emotional intelligence will help in the workplace.
Utilizing and developing emotional intelligence skills will help in
improving the personal and social capability of the person in the workplace.
The increased awareness of emotional intelligence will tend to focus on the
literature and leadership training which shows the linkage between
emotional intelligence and job performance. EQ skills are about managing
emotions to improve your job performance. The team manager with
developed emotional intelligence skills has the key to manage the stress of
the team, motivate them to perform better and have a positive impact on
their job commitment. The EQ skills will help in getting positivity, remove
negativity from the mind, helps in managing conflicts thereby increasing
job performance.

The EQ And Decision-Making Skills

 Emotional intelligence will not only be related to personal and
professional development, but it is also related to our decision making. The
person with the capability of understanding emotions that we feel and why
we feel them will have a huge impact on decision making capability. The
emotional intelligence is an important element of decision making which is
based upon emotional biases. The person who has low EQ skills will feel
anxious and stressed and leads to poor decision-making power. But it is not
about removing emotions from the decision-making process, rather than it's
about recognizing the emotions that are unrelated to the problem and
stopping them to influence the final result.
The negative emotions had an impact on problem- solving and decision
making both in your workplace and personal situations. The ability of a
person to recognize emotions that help form a rational decision. The EQ
skills can disregard the negative emotions, negotiate the impact on the final
process and benefits for decision making. you need to focus on the four
elements of emotional intelligence skills to aware of your emotions,
understanding the causes and consequences allow you to manage both your
feelings and make an objective decision.

The Emotional Intelligence Has A Direct Relation with Success

If you want to know the relation between success and emotional
intelligence you will have to ask questions to yourself and others too.
Emotional intelligence plays a vital role in achieving success. But it is not
that the people with a high level of IQ will have success, this is because the
people with only high IQ will not have enough EQ skills to understand and
relate themselves with the other. If you don't have high emotional
intelligence skills you will load yourself with so many negative thoughts
while on your path to success. The Goleman says that you might be
powerful sometimes but with low EQ and high IQ, you probably not
achieve success. Yes, it is your emotional intelligence that will lead to
success. and help you in achieving goals.
Developing your emotional intelligence skills will help you in achieving
your goals by contributing to increase morale, motivations and leads to
greater cooperation which in turn leads to success. In the workplace, the
teammate who has developed emotional intelligence skills will help others
also in removing stress, motivates them to success. Though evidence is
more that range the ability that shows emotional intelligence play a crucial
role in determining success. It will help us in managing emotions, controls
anxiety-provoking situations and leads to success whether in your personal
goals, business relations, and any other professional relations.

Emotional Intelligence Is Important for Communications

Communication is the solution to every problem. The emotional
intelligence provides us the ability to be aware of and understand our
emotions which will enhance our ability to be aware and understand the
feelings of others. This sensitivity will impact our communication
capability. The ability to understand the emotions, manage them helps us
communicate in better ways. The individual with high emotional
intelligence skills are better equipped to manage the conflict between the
relations and help in building a meaningful relationship through
communication. This will help you in having better communication both in
your personal as well as professional workplace.
Consider communication in the workplace, the individual with higher
emotional intelligence skills will be able to have an approach of conflict
resolutions collaboratively. when you are in the workplace, working
together with the different employees than emotional intelligence plays a
vital role in communicating with employees to remove conflict and
motivate each other to work with ease and mutual acceptance.
without any doubt, in recent years the emotional intelligence played a
crucial role in driving effective communication within the team members
that includes the growing area of virtual teams too. A process of successful
communication in terms of conflicts and successful negotiation is closely
linked to high emotional intelligence skills.

The Emotional Intelligence Deals with The Stress

The individual who has high emotional intelligence skills has the self-
awareness to recognize feelings and respond accordingly. The skills
associated with the EQ can effectively help individuals to deal with the
negative emotions and remove stress and promote positive emotions in
them. The person with low intelligence skills would misunderstand the
emotions and not able to understand the types of emotions they are having
and ultimately leads to develop mental health issues, like stress, anxiety,
and depression.
In 1991, Ganster and Schaubroeck said that our working and
professional environment as the primary source of stress and also suggest
that our ability to effectively monitor the emotions in dealing with
emotional information in the workplace is an important tool in preventing
negative stress. The emotional intelligence skills allow is to cope with eth
stress and also emotionally intelligent people can initially evaluate situate
that are less stressful for us.
Though the reason is not enough to explain why emotional intelligence
is important to necessary to be raised, but by reading this chapter you will
have clear thought now on why there is the importance of rising emotional
intelligence is important.
The benefits and importance of emotional intelligence are very vast in
terms of personal as well as professional success. it is the center of every
emotion, feeling, and reaction to them both in personal as well as
professional life. The person with high emotional intelligence skills will
have high academic performance, perform better than those who have low
EQ skills, improves their relationship conflicts easily and most important
boost their communication skills. But the list does not end here on why you
need to raise EQ skills, rising EQ skills will load you with many more
benefits.
 CHAPTER 8:

PINPOINTING THE EMOTIONAL

INTELLIGENCE STRATEGIES THAT
INCREASE THE EQ MOST

ur success in life depends on how we use our strength and emotion to a

O full extent. One can achieve success by enhancing the emotional
intelligence strategy. Another important factor in which our success
depends is our intelligent quotient. But the truth is also the same without
emotional intelligence skills you will not be able to enhance your EQ the
utilize your full potential.
You might be thinking what are these emotional intelligence strategies
which will boost your emotional intelligence the most. The skills that make
up emotional intelligence can be learned and improve anytime. But always
remember there is always a difference between learning the EQ skills and
apply that in your life to realize your full potential.
Where emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, manage and
communicate the emotions and respond to the emotions of other people.
Various tactics of emotional intelligence that we have explained in the
previous chapters tell the importance of these emotional intelligence skills
and how once can build it their own. In this chapter, we are going to
pinpoint the emotional intelligence strategy and how it will help you in
increasing your EQ’s the most.

Improving Your EQ Skills with Four Pillars of Emotional

Intelligence
Four important skills will help you in building and improving your
emotional intelligence skills. Let us start with the first one;

Self-Management
To increase your emotional intelligence skills, you must be able to utilize
your emotions and make a decision about your behavior to behave properly.
You will lose your ability to act thoughtfully and correctly when you are
stressed and have no control over your emotions.
Think about a situation when you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed with
stress, and flooded with different emotions. The point where negativity
strokes you from all sides. At this time is easy for you to understand and
make a constructive decision. Might be wrong. Emotions are important
which tells you about your potential as well as of others. But the stressed
conditions pull you out from the comfort zone.
Therefore, with the ability of self-management and you will be able to
manage the stress which makes you able to present emotionally. The self-
management ability helps you in learning to receive the information without
putting burdens of negative thoughts and self-control. You will be able to
make a better choice when you have the ability of self-management. It will
allow you to put some control on your Impulsive feelings and behaviors.
when you have self-management skills, you will manage your emotions in
positive ways, aims to take initiatives on your own and follow through on
your commitments and easily adapt yourself to the changing circumstances.
The one must ask from you to how you will develop the self-management
skills, this strategy we have already explained in the previous chapter.

Self-Awareness
The first step of building your emotional intelligence is managing stress.
The emotional attachment indicates the reflection of your early life
experience. The ability to manage your core feelings which includes fear,
anger, sadness, and joy, these often depend upon the quality and consistency
of your early life emotional experiences.
If you take care of these emotions and understanding them in a better
way, then it will help you to become valuable assets in your adult life. But if
your emotional experiences at the initial stage in threatening and confusing
then, you distance yourself from your feelings and emotions.
Self-awareness is the key to connect to your emotions, help you in
realizing your own potential. It is a key to understanding your thoughts and
actions and how your emotions influence these. One could ask these
questions from yourself before proceeding for self-awareness.
Have you ever experienced the feeling that flow in you, experiencing the
emotions one after one that changes from time to time?
Did your emotions surrounded by physical sensation which you can
experience in your stomach, throat, and chest?
have you ever paid attention to your feelings and emotions that prevailed
in you like anger, sadness, fear, and joy which can be evident by your non-
verbal expression?
Did your own emotions affect decision making ?
Well, if any of these experiences is not familiar to you, then you may
have turned down your emotions. To build your EQ and achieve healthy
emotions you must build self-awareness in you which will help you in
reconnecting with your emotions, accept the negativity and convert them
into positivity and become comfortable
You can achieve social-awareness in you with mindfulness
 Mindfulness is the practice of focusing your attention on your inner core
emotions and involve at the moment. It will help in shifting your physical
and emotional sensations, loads with calmness and focuses on you making
more self-aware. The self-awareness with its full potential helps in
increasing your emotional intelligence.

Social-Awareness
Another important strategy of rising emotional intelligence is social
awareness. It enables you to recognize and understand your emotions
through nonverbal cues. These cues will help you know how others are
feeling and in what kind of emotional state is another person. You must be
socially aware, comfortable, and empathetic when you can understand the
nonverbal cues of people in a group.
When you are building social-awareness, you will need to analyze the
importance of mindfulness in the social awareness process. It requires your
presence at the moment because you cannot pick the nonverbal cues when
you are thinking about other things and striking in your head. when you
have social awareness in you will be able to increase emotional intelligence.
You will focus on these things in better ways;

You will achieve more social goals and focus on the

interaction itself.
Following the emotional responses of other people is like
to give and take process. You take what you give to them.
It also requires you to pay some attention to the changes
that you experience in your own emotions as well.
Invest some time and effort to pay attention to the feelings
and emotions of others. You will truly gain insight into
your emotional state and also helps you in valuing your
thoughts and beliefs. for instance: you will learn
something about yourself and your behavior and emotions
when you feel discomfort in hearing the emotions of
others.
It's important to learn about social-awareness which in turn helps you in
managing your stress and discomfort and makes you able to connect with
the emotions of others and respond accurately. It is an important skill when
you are improving your emotional intelligence.

Relationship Management
Connecting with the emotions of others is an ongoing process that starts
with emotional awareness. The ability to recognize and experiencing an
emotion of others will effectively develop emotional skills which will help
you in making your relationship more effective and fulfilling. One can
improve emotional intelligence by paying attention to these relationship
management skills.
Be Aware of Nonverbal Communication Cues to Effectively Use
Them
Nonverbal communication is the way of giving a message to others
about how you are feeling and thinking. It will help you in conveying your
own emotions as well as understand others. Always remember that the
emotional part of your brain is active even though you ignore them but
others don't. Pay some attention to nonverbal cues and sending to others
play an important role in improving the relationship and emotional
intelligence.

Use Your Sense of Humor and Relieve Stress

The humor, laughter acts as a natural medicine to remove stress from the
mind to live a healthy relationship. Laughter dose will help in bringing the
nervous system to relax, help in reducing stress and calm you down. It will
help in sharpening your mind and helps you in becoming more empathic.

Learn to Observe Conflict and Take It as An Opportunity to

Grow Closer
You can't ignore the conflict and disagreement in a relationship. This is
because the two individuals cannot have the same thinking, opinions to
agree upon. But that is not a bad thing when you have conflict resolve it in
healthy and constructive ways. Relationship management will help in
improving emotional intelligence. When conflict is not perceived as a
punishment then it will bring safety in the relationship.
 One can improve this skill and build it with the steps that we have
explained in the previous chapter.

Empathy the Skill to Improve Emotional Intelligence

You can also raise your EQ by putting yourself into the shoes of other
people. Making yourself able to realize the situation of others will lead to
bringing better emotional responses. Empathy rising makes you able to
improvise your emotional intelligence skills by liberating you an
opportunity of relating and understanding of other situations.
Jenson in 2018 ask a question that
Relationship between the fact sociopaths and the fact that studies have
shown that the empathy of young people has been decreased or not ?
With an argument, Jensen said that the manifestation of cultural desire is
through creative production. The one could be successful if they are good at
responding to nonverbal cues and unconscious need by which a small
fraction of society identifies. But if the sociopath has come as the hero of
these times then empathy level has been decreasing. It may also suggest one
who lacks empathy will not be able to raise their emotional intelligence to
the full extent.
The success came to you will be defined by the social, economic, and
mindful terms. The person who has developed Empathy skills will face
success and respond to other people appropriately.
Daniel Goleman in his research about emotional intelligence found that
67% of our ability to professional success is directly related to EQ skills.

The Emotional Intelligence and Social Skills

The social skills development provides you the opportunity to interact
with other people with good communication skills and teamwork. This
social skill permits them to remain in the present situation of the other and
partner. Therefore, the individual who has this social skill will improve their
EQ skills as well.

The Feedback
 One of the most important ways of enhancing your EQ skills is feedback
from others. whether in your business and personal life this feedback helps
you in understanding what others have an opinion about you. the more you
have to more you build yourself and more will be your emotional
intelligence
The four basic principles and key strategies will play a key role in the
improvement of emotional intelligence. Understanding and developing your
emotional intelligence will open up so many channels of success and
leading a happy and joyful life. It will provide you also leadership qualities
as well. Therefore, it is important to note that if one wants to develop their
emotional intelligence skills and improve them one must follow these
important key skills.
The question will come to your mind that why you should care about
emotional intelligence ?
To answer this question, take a look at this,
The person who will understand and use their EQ skills will:

Have the potential to make decisions and choices in a

better manner
The person who has EQ skills will have improved
relationship
They are more successful to work
They build leadership qualities to motivate others in
business and the workplace. Those who have EQ skills
able to organize things, improve productivity, enhance
sales and able to gain customers easily.
 CHAPTER 9

HOW EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AFFECT

OUR RELATIONSHIP AND WORK

E motional intelligence proves to be the pathway to success. The qualities

and key strategies of emotional intelligence help in improving our
understanding and emotions quality which we can apply in various
fields to achieve a joyful life and success. In this chapter, you will be going
to study the impact on emotional intelligence in work and relations. lots of
you like me will be thinking of what is the connection between emotional
intelligence and relations, also how does it affect our work. To answer each
question let us start with the effect of emotional intelligence on the
relationship
How Emotional Intelligence Affects Our Relationship
 Whenever we talk about relationships, we always think of the basic
concept to be focused on like trust, honesty, and communications. But
lifting a bit above from this emotional intelligence is the key to a healthy
relationship. This is so important in a relationship, as it will help you in
expressing, recognizing, and resolving the conflicts in between you both.
The way you both communicate with each other, understand emotions and
ability to navigate difficult moment with deep conversation is all comes up
with emotional intelligence. This is why experts say emotional intelligence
does matter in the relationship. let's take a look at how it affects the
relationship:
 Emotional Intelligence Makes You Able to Empathize
With One Another
Empathy is a sign of emotional intelligence. Empathy makes you able to
recognize and prioritize the needs of your partner which leads to a great
impact on the health or your relationship. It requires to take a pose on your
agendas and step into what someone if feeling and understand them to a
greater extent. The empathy which is an important key to emotional
intelligence skills involves the ability to understand others and one's
emotions and manage them in the right way to run a healthy relationship
and also it helps in deepening the bond of your relationship.

You Both Can Have A Deeper Conversation Without Any

Escalating
The people who are having emotional intelligence seems to be capable
of receiving criticism also. But that’s ok, sometimes criticism is also
important because if it is not escalated into a fight then it will sometimes
end the important communication. Make yourself open to critical
communications means you are capable of growth and learning. Brown says
that instead of taking it as a blamed, take it as an opportunity to keep a
check on your emotion through the deep conversation when received
criticism.

Emotional Intelligence Makes You Vulnerable With

Each Other
Being vulnerable is not that easy for people. But vulnerability provides
connectivity with your partner and for that, you have to drop your guard.
Understanding and reacting at the right time is an important part of
emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence helps you in recognizing of
holding back. If your partner with emotional intelligence able to identify a
pattern through which they feel an emotion which makes them vulnerable
and expresses to you, in the same way, will generate a pulse on the
relationship. Thus, emotional intelligence leads to more vulnerability is a
relationship with each other.
 You, Will, Be Able to Express Your Feelings Easily and
Straight Forward
The partner who is having more emotional intelligence skills is more
verbally able to express and says how they are feeling with equal respect.
This is the reason why emotional intelligence is important and how it is
affecting the relationship. Speaking and communication is the way to meet
with your feelings and needs properly. the unexpressed feelings and
unexpressed words will conflict your relationship and even break it up.
Expressing and asking your feelings straight forward creates incredible
power in your relationship, said by Brown

You Will Easily Able to Apologize To Each Other And

Makeup Easily
Although it is very hard for a person to admit their mistakes when you
argue with your partner, the people with emotional intelligence can
understand the value of relationships and how you will keep away from
building toxins in the relationship. The partner with emotional intelligence
will be able to quickly apologize and fix that bug quickly. The person with
emotional intelligence maintains connection and are more intuitive about
creating distance. They take ownership and recognize the fault and resolve
them easily.
Thus, in this way, the emotional intelligence matter and had a great
impact on maintaining a healthy relationship. It will break down all the
barriers between both the partners and makes a clean way to understand one
another. Moreover, it also means for output from an argument that brings
you closer to each other. it makes critical communication which opens the
emotions deeply and expresses emotions to their full extent. This is an
important aspect of any relationship which provides attention and nurturing.
Overall emotional intelligence affects the relationship positively.
moving on to another aspect, do emotional intelligence has the same
effect in our work on not. let us take a look into it as well.
How Emotional Intelligence Affects Our Work
Every day we make plans and execute them some failed and some
succeeded. sometimes we have to make choices which are based on our
feelings and emotional gut feeling. But when we can sense these emotions,
understand their origin in the workplace then it will bring success.
Emotional intelligence proves to be more significant in the work field,
especially team management and controller and solve problems in better
ways. So, let's take a look at how it will affect the work field.
Leads to Better Teamwork
The employee works better as a team under the person who has higher
emotional intelligence skills. A person with a High level of emotional
intelligence communicates in a better way with their team members rather
than those who are having less emotional intelligence skills. The person
with high emotional intelligence skills will not only have better-
communicating skills and but also share ideas and accept the ideas of team
members as well. They are likely to work as team members rather than the
sole controller’s pf the team who put their thoughts on them. Thus,
emotional intelligence will help in having better results from the team.
Moreover, the employees trust more on co-workers and value their ideas,
respect them and most important work together in a group.
People with High Emotional Intelligence Skills Will Lead to
Better Motivation for Their Work as Well as Themselves
The leaders and business managers with high emotional intelligence
skills will help their team in work and motivate them to collaborate more
effectively. The Goleman says that the person who has high EQ skills has a
great ability to regulate emotions and motivations which in turn leads to
improve self-confidence in their own and also in a team member. Thus,
emotional intelligence enables them to achieve the goals of the long-term.
Emotional intelligence is a significant factor in determining the overall
performance of the person and employees in the workplace. The team can
establish trust and separate identity and give their 100% in work with
emotional intelligence skills .

EQ Skills Will Lead to Better Time Management in Work

 The leader with a high level of emotional intelligence always expects
that their employee fixes the work in a given deadline. This is one of the
greatest benefits that we receive from the emotionally intelligent person that
they never need to manage their employees who have the skills of
emotional intelligence, they will assure that the project will complete on a
given deadline by working as a team to manage work and time perfectly. It's
quite simple that people with emotional intelligence skills know how to
prioritize their tasks and do them on time. Thus, emotional intelligence also
plays a significant role in time management is the work also.

Adjustment Becomes Easier in The Workplace

Every business needs improvement and a new concept in a timely
manner. Although the employee self knows that change in the company
happens timely which shifts to a new concept according to the need and
success of the business. But remember these changes might not be accepted
by each employee with open arms because this is human nature, they take
time to accept the change. Here, emotional intelligence plays a vital role,
the employee with high emotional intelligence skills easily adjust to the
changes and quickly start working with the new fields rather than those who
have low EQ skills. This quality is good for all employees and business
owners too.
Emotional Intelligence Build Leadership Capabilities in Work
There is no doubt that the companies and workplaces keep on searching
for the leadership qualities of an employee who can lead the team for better
productivity and profitability. Thus, the business owner always searches for
the individual with a higher level of emotional intelligence skills. This kind
of employ with high EQ Has empathy for others and feels and analyses the
situation accurately. They will be able to understand human nature,
motivate their team members and label positive effect on subordinates .
The leader with the ability of emotional intelligence inspires the
employee to give better output, motivate them time to do their best as they
know well, this, in turn, benefits the company in making profits. A leader
with these qualities has a great impact on employee and company.
Emotional Intelligence Skills Will Be Able to Form A Better
Professional Relationship
The well-known benefit of emotional intelligence is understanding other
and people with high EQ skills know better what others like and don't like.
They will help in building a professional relationship between business
persons and in between the business persona and customers too. The person
with high emotional intelligence skills will easily put themselves in the
shoes of others and able to understand the nonverbal cues that will help
them in building a relationship easily by providing them what they need
exactly. Thus, here also emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in
building a professional relationship as well. Being able to read the people
will help you in interacting with them and communicate with them easily
and develop a relationship with clients, co-workers, etc.

You Are Always A Step Ahead in Your Work Than Others

Many individuals haven't realized the importance of building emotional
intelligence skills in them. This is not something that is in trend and ends up
with the trend gone. the company that hires many employees with
emotional intelligence tends to have better teamwork and team time finisher
than others. Hiring new emotional intelligent candidates will help the
company to always remain a step ahead from other company. The employee
who has better insight, teamwork, motivate each other, value work and time
will contribute positively in the work and leads to increase productivity
thereby keep company and work always ahead than any other company. So,
here you can also say that emotional intelligence plays a key role in
enhancing work as well.
Thus, in this way emotional intelligence skills affect work also. Here the
effect doesn't mean that it is affecting in negative ways. But here affect
means positive growth. The people who will be able to develop the
emotional intelligence skills in them will have the benefit of having a
healthy relationship and positive growth in their work. But this does not just
end here, there are so many benefits of rising emotional intelligence which
you will learn by assuming it in your own life. By reading this chapter you
will learn how this emotional intelligence will affect your work as well as
relationships.
 CHAPTER 10

: HOW TO IMPROVE ONE’S PERSONAL AND

SOCIAL SKILLS

ne's skills and social skills play equally important in enhancing your
O emotional intelligence as that of others. Personal skills will help you in
performing your role with full potential in your social as well as
personal life whereas social skills will help you in improving your
communication and emotional understanding with others.
Do you know how to remove emotional stress from your words when
you are annoyed by colleagues? or How to show one the pathway of
success and motivate them to work with full potential?
 Well, if you answered these questions with a ‘Yes' then you are a person
who has personal and social skills. But if answered these questions is ‘No',
then like others you follow these simple steps to build and improve your
personal and social skills in you.

Some Tips to Improve Your Personal and Social Skills

Here are some useful tips which will help you in improving your
personal and social skills, let's take a look at it;

Build A Positive Outlook in You and Behave Like A

Social Person
The people love to respond positively from that of those who have
negativity. The positive outlook brings lots of happiness in your life and
also help you in responding to the things in positive ways. So, one could
teach themselves to be positive by reminding yourself with positivity and
good things about your work and personal life. If you feel upset from any
feelings try to fix it out looking towards the positivity in that situation.
Don't hold stress, negativity, and anxiety to hold you back and down.
Make a positive decision to talk with people and enter into the deep
conversation. This simple step will help you in improving your personal
and social skills.

Control Your Emotions and Start Small If Needed

There is no need to get over emotional when you are engaged in your
work, it does not matter if you are stressed, depressed, happy. Just take a
deep breath and control your emotions and express yourself calmly and
socially. But if you outside your work in a public place and enters in the
crowd and already you are being flooded with the emotions then don't need
to vomit all your emotions on the crowd, the same you can do here as well
just hold on breath and ask them politely if you need a favor or want some
space. This will help you in improving your skills.

Encourage Others to Work and Motivate Them

You might be thinking of it is related to social skills how one can
improve personal skills with this. Right, encouraging others' work is the
way of building trust and long-term relationships with them. It will not only
help them to work well but also build inner peace and positivity in you.
You can also encourage other people to talk about themselves and listen to
them carefully. Show them that you are interested in hearing them and value
their time and work. It will help you in building trust which in turn
improves your personal and social skills.

Practice Listening
When you are on the way of improving your personal and social skills
than one of the best ways of improving them is through practicing listening.
Listening here does not mean just sit and listen to what another person is
saying and throw it down. Here, it simply means just listen to their point of
view about you and others and try to convert it positively to live a good
social and personal life. Listening helps you to improve your good quality.
With good listening ability, the speaker also feels to be respected when
another person is paying attention to them.

Establish Goals for Yourself

When you are improving your skills than you can establish some goals
for yourself. It does not matter whether the goal is to be good in one of the
skills of emotional intelligence or some goals to improve your business
strategies. These little goals will help you in improving your social as well
as personal skills by finding the right emotions and applying in your life to
achieve success It will improve your communication with your colleagues
as well.

Practice Some Empathy

Empathy, as you have already studied in the previous chapter, will help
you in understanding and responding to others' situations appropriately. So,
here also when one wants to improve their personal and social skills
empathy plays its role. when you Practice empathy, you will go a long way
to find a better solution for better results. It will help you in building trust
and loyalty with others.

Ask for Feedbacks and Open-Minded Questions

 If you want to improve your relationship with other people and want to
grab the attention of the customers in your workplace then asking for
feedback and questions will play a key role in that. Ask your co-workers,
your customer and colleague feedback and questions more than just answer
is yes or no. Asking them for feedback will elaborate on the reasons that
will help you sort out the conflict between you and your workers. But also
help you in finding what others are expecting to form you and what are
their needs. It will help you in improving your skills to a better extent.

Always Be Assertive
It's important to be assertive sometimes. When the person is improving
their communication skills to improve their relationship and work
relationship Then you don't need to hesitate about showing your opinion,
expressing your needs. It will not only remain in your head but also let your
skills down. So, try to be assertive and express yourself, your opinions and
needs to improve your relationship and also to improve your personal and
social skills.
last but not the least

Be Real and Offer Genuine Compliments to Other

Don't need to paste a fake smile on your face and let them in having the
wrong perceptions. This will not only discourage you to open and improve
your skills but also let others down to know their emotions perfectly. So
always be real whether you receiving negative comments or positive. There
are no bad things in accepting the bad point of views, genuinely this will
help you in improving your mindset about your skills and social skills. It
will help you in building the right amount of emotions and acknowledge to
others with genuine compliments will also help in improving themselves
also.
So, if you feel like numb and feel like you are facing an awkward
situation in any social event and also in your personal life. But you are
really bad at interpreting the emotions of others and yourself and respond to
them these few little tips will help you in improving your personal and
social skills to be an active participant in your social as well as personal
life. By reading this chapter you will be able to know what to do in that
situation and how you will control the flood of emotion in social and
personal life to live a happy life.
 CONCLUSION

ow as you have read the chapter of this book, you can understand the
N concept of emotional intelligence and why the person must raise their
emotional intelligence skills. There is no doubt in your mind that the
person with low emotional intelligence will suffer in their life. lives in
stressful condition and not able to communicate with another person
effectively which in turn affect their mental, physical as well as emotional
health.
This book must have explained all the essential elements of emotional
intelligence and how they play a vital role in our personal as well as
professional life. We have also focused on the key strategies of developing
these skills in you in this book. If you are well known about emotional
intelligence and its importance but you are not familiar with the keys to
how you will rise inside you and what steps should be taken to improve
your emotional intelligence. Reading this book will also help you in
improving your emotional intelligence with a stepwise guide of rising
different emotional intelligence skills.
This book aims to make you aware of the concept of self-awareness,
social awareness, and relationship management skills so that you can also
lead a happy life. By keeping the key queries in mind about the readers and
their mind we try to keep it simple so that users will not feel struggle to rad
and make them clear about the following criteria of emotional intelligence.
There is no doubt when you read this book you will feel the change in
you. you will fill yourself with positive emotions. You will be able to feel
the change in your mindset after reading this book. The empathy concept
that is included in this book will help you in understanding the concept of
emotions and how you will connect with others.
Reading this book is important because it will help you in living a stress-
free life. The aim of this book is to improve your emotions, your connecting
ability with others, your resolving power of conflict as well as improves
communication.
Enjoy your life .