FENG0134 Formulating Arguments (Cause and Effect)

Your writing partner wrote an initial draft for a cause and effect essay, and received some feedback
from the lecturer. You now have to improve it for final submission. Use the notes to refine this draft.

Note: Citations can be direct quotations or paraphrases. You do not need to correct any sentences,
spelling or grammar errors or add/delete any other content.

In the 2022 general elections, 18 to 40 year olds became part of the biggest electoral bloc in

the history of Malaysia. Yet despite such a growth in numbers, experts generally predicted that not

many of these young voters would even turn up to the ballots. For instance, a survey by the Merdeka

Centre found “only 40% of Malay Muslim youths are keen to cast their ballots” (“Only 40% of Malay

youths”, 2022). Such low turnout, at state and national levels, can be linked to the concept of political

apathy, a lack of interest in political processes including voting. This issue affects young people not

just in Malaysia but across the world. Commented [DC1]: 1. Thesis statement is missing. Write
an appropriate thesis statement for the essay. [2m]
Among the main causes of youths’ political apathy is a lack of faith in the process of politics.

Why care when politicians, decision makers and other people in power do not seem to reciprocate?

In Malaysia itself for example, politicians “are unlikely to deal with matters that youths are most

engaged in, such as job prospects and the education system”

(https://www.todayonline.com/world/malaysia-ge2022-political-apathy-ignorance-common-among-

young-voters-amid-concerns-over-economy-2040766) Similar apathy occurs across Eastern Europe Commented [DC2]: 2. Inaccurate citation. Rewrite the
citation to fit APA 7th edition guidelines. [1m]
(https://doi.org/10.1038/nature.2017.22106) to Africa (“Political apathy”, 2023). Clearly, young Commented [DC3]: 3. Inaccurate citation. Rewrite the
citation to fit APA 7th edition guidelines. [1m]
people across the globe do not find it imperative to involve themselves in the political process as they

do not believe anything substantial would occur because of their participation. In a manner of

speaking, it feels like a waste of time and more importantly, a waste of mental and emotional labour.

Besides lack of faith, lack of political knowledge also contributes to political apathy among

young people. Whether it is self-perceived or objectively measured, unawareness of political issues

and current affairs often undermines young people’s confidence in participating in democratic

processes and further drives their apathy. In other words, you cannot truly care about something you

have little to no idea about. This specific kind of ignorance can be further attributed to the notion that
FENG0134 Formulating Arguments (Cause and Effect)

young people are not consuming political news regularly regardless of the proliferation of social media

platforms and online resources. “Through developing habits of consuming political news, therefore,

citizens develop greater political interest, knowledge, sophistication and efficacy, and also

conceptions of citizenship which emphasise political participation”

(https://eprints.nottingham.ac.uk/30532/) Without consistent consumption, it naturally follows that Commented [DC4]: 4. Inaccurate citation. Rewrite the
citation to fit APA 7th edition guidelines. [1m]
interest, knowledge and participation decline.

In a self-fulfilling prophecy, citizens who do not care about who is placed in power, or who do Commented [DC5]: 5. Topic sentence for this paragraph
is missing. Write a suitable topic sentence. [2m]
not even display any acts of civil resistance or interest in the democratic processes, will suffer under

the misdirection of leaders who do not care about their people. At its most extreme, this lack of

political interest can result in a dictator who terminates the democracy of a nation (Union of

International Associations, 2020, Nature section). Commented [DC6]: 6. How do we get from misdirection
to complete dictatorship? Explain the process. [2m]
Political apathy, caused by disillusionment and lack of knowledge, is a subtly dangerous

condition. When people believe it is not worth caring about their country’s politics, dangerous leaders

can arise to wrest power from them, and potentially abolish the democratic processes that keep a

nation afloat. How we prevent this, as clichéd as it may sound, is to be brave enough to be optimistic. Commented [DC7]: 7. Explain how optimism can help
prevent political apathy. [3m]
As Guillermo del Toro (2019) wrote: “optimism is our instinct to inhale while suffocating. Our need to

declare what “needs to be” in the face of what is. Optimism is not uncool; it is rebellious and daring

and vital. […] Inhale or die”.

FENG0134 Formulating Arguments (Cause and Effect)

References Commented [DC8]: 8. Fix the order of the reference list.

[1m]

Only 40% of Malay youths ready to vote in GE15, according to survey. (date).

https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2022/07/30/only-40-of-malay-

youths-ready-to-vote-in-ge15-according-to-survey/ Commented [DC9]: 9. Rewrite the reference entry to

follow APA 7th edition guidelines. [1m]
Ong, J., Elangovan, N., & Zalizan, T. (2022, November 28). Malaysia GE2022: Political apathy, ignorance

common among young voters amid concerns over economy. Today Online.

https://www.todayonline.com/world/malaysia-ge2022-political-apathy-ignorance-common-

among-young-voters-amid-concerns-over-economy-2040766

Oxenham, S. (2017, June 6). The rise of political apathy in two charts. Nature.

https://doi.org/10.1038/nature.2017.22106

Political apathy and how to reignite political engagement. (2023). African Development Choices.

https://africandevelopmentchoices.org/political-apathy/

Fox, S. (2015). Apathy, alienation and young people: The political engagement of British Millennials

[Doctoral thesis, University of Nottingham]. Nottingham eTheses.

https://eprints.nottingham.ac.uk/30532/

Union of International Associations. (2020). Political apathy. In The encyclopedia of world problems &

human potential. http://encyclopedia.uia.org/en/problem/133168

Guillermo del Toro. (2019, February 7). https://time.com/5520554/guillermo-del-toro-radical-

optimism/ Commented [DC10]: 10. Rewrite the reference entry to

follow APA 7th edition guidelines. [1m]