The Empowered Writer An Essential

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The empowered writer : an essential guide to writing, reading & research
/ K.M. Moran, Eric Henderson. — Third edition.

Includes index.
Revision of: Henderson, Eric-. Empowered writer.
ISBN 978-0-19-902361-5 (softcover)

1. English language—Rhetoric. 2. Report writing. 3. Academic writing.

I. Moran, Kathleen M.-, author II. Title.

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 Brief Contents iii

Brief Contents
Readings      xv
From the Publisher      xvi
Preface and Acknowledgements      xxiii

PART ONE Writing and Reading 1

1 Basic Skills Development      2
2 The Writing Situation      31
3 Paragraph Essentials      63
4 Paragraph and Essay Development      79
5 Summarizing Other Writers’ Work      104

PART TWO Essays      123

6 The Expository Essay      124
7 Introductions, Thesis Statements, and Conclusions      146
8 Claims, Evidence, and the Analytical Model      169
9 The Argumentative Essay      184

PART THREE Research      221

10 Conducting Research      222
11 Using Your Research      243
12 APA and MLA Documentation Styles      263

PART FOUR Grammar      305

13 Sentence Essentials      306
14 Punctuation      335
15 Agreement, Pronoun, and Sentence Structure Errors      363
16 Achieving Clarity and Depth in Your Writing      413

APPENDICES       450
A Verb Tenses      450
B A Checklist for EAL Writers      455
C Peer Edit Forms      473
D Partial Exercise Answer Key: Chapters 13–15      479
E Essay Templates      498

Glossary      500
Index      507
iv Contents

Contents
Readings      xv
From the Publisher      xvi
Preface and Acknowledgements      xxiii

PART ONE Writing and Reading      1

1 Basic Skills Development      2
An Integrated Approach      3
Writing and Thinking      3
Exercise 1.1      3
Writing and Reading      3
Reading Strategies      5
Exercise 1.2      7
Critical Thinking      8
What Is Critical Thinking?      8
Applying Critical Thinking      8
Exercise 1.3      8
Reading and Critical Thinking      9
Exercise 1.4      10
Exercise 1.5      11
Responding Critically and Analytically through Questions      13
Exercise 1.6      15
Exercise 1.7      17
Sample Professional Essay: “Bear Cub: Rogue Wildlife Is Par for the
Course on Canada’s Northernmost Green” by Eva Holland      17
Exercise 1.8      19
Word Meanings      21
Exercise 1.9      23
Improving Vocabulary      23
Sample Professional Essay: “Almost Famous Canadian Olympians”
by Jonathon Gatehouse      24
Chapter Review Questions      30
 Contents v

2 The Writing Situation      31

Writing Purpose      32
Exercise 2.1      34
A Is for Audience      34
Reader-Based Writing      35
Exercise 2.2      35
Exercise 2.3      36
Audience Factors      36
Exercise 2.4      37
Sample Professional Essay: “If These Walls Could Talk:
The Physical Traces of Residential Schools” by Aubrey Jean Hanson
& D. Lyn Daniels      37
Writing for the Workplace      41
Exercise 2.5      42
Stages in Essay Writing      42
Pre-Writing      43
Exercise 2.6      44
Exercise 2.7      48
Research      49
Organization      49
Exercise 2.8      50
Composing: First Draft      51
Revising: Final Draft      52
The Critical Response      55
Sample Professional Essay: “Why Do We Still Put Young People in Solitary
Confinement?” by Cathy Gulli      56
Sample Student Essay: Response to “Why Do We Still Put Young People
in Solitary Confinement?” by Julianny Vahlis      61
Chapter Review Questions      62

3 Paragraph Essentials      63
Introducing the Paragraph      64
Topic Sentence      64
Paragraph Wrap as Conclusion      64
Connecting Paragraphs by Using Transitions      65
Exercise 3.1      66
Paragraph Unity      66
Exercise 3.2      67
Paragraph Coherence      67
vi Contents

Exercise 3.3      71
Exercise 3.4      71
Exercise 3.5      72
Sample Professional Essay: “Everything You Need To Know about
Impostor Syndrome” by Sydney Loney       74
Chapter Review Questions      78

4 Paragraph and Essay Development      79

Developing Your Essay      80
Exercise 4.1      81
Development Patterns      81
Definition: What Is It?      82
Chronology: When Did It Occur?      82
Description: What Does It Look Like?      83
Narration: How Can It Be Told?      84
Process: How Does It Work?      84
Personal: Why Should It Affect Me?/How Does It Affect Me?      85
Classification/Division: What Kinds Are There?      86
Cause–Effect: What Is the Cause? What Is the Result?      86
Question–Answer: What Is the Answer?      87
Example/Illustration: How Can It Be Shown?      87
Problem–Solution: How Can It Be (Re)Solved?      88
Cost–Benefit: What Are the Advantages and Disadvantages?      88
Analogy: How Is It Like Something Else?      89
Comparison and Contrast: How Is It Like and/or Unlike Something Else?      89
Exercise 4.2      90
Sample Professional Essay: “Picture This: A Photovoice Study of
International Students’ Food Experience in Canada”
by Stephanie Amos and Daphne Lordly      91
Chapter Review Questions      102

5 Summarizing Other Writers’ Work      104

What Is a Summary?      105
How to Write a Summary      106
Exercise 5.1      109
Exercise 5.2      109
The Extended Summary      109
Sample Professional Essay: “The $15 Minimum Wage Movement
Rises Up” by Janet Nicol      111
 Contents vii

Other Ways to Summarize      115

Paraphrase      115
Exercise 5.3      116
Abstract      116
Exercise 5.4      116
Annotated Bibliography      117
Exercise 5.5      117
Summarizing at the Workplace      117
Exercise 5.6      118
Sample Professional Essay: “Almost a Million Canadian Kids in Poverty
Is an Acute Emergency” by Elizabeth Lee Ford-Jones      119
Chapter Review Questions      121

PART TWO Essays      123

6 The Expository Essay      124
Expository versus Argumentative Essays      125
Types of Essays      125
How to Write Various Expository Essays      126
The Process Essay      126
Sample Student Essay: “How to Win a Student Government Election”
by Aimee Calma      127
The Definition Essay      130
Sample Student Essay: “What Is Leadership?” by Andrew Fodor      130
The Comparison and Contrast Essay      132
Sample Student Essay: “Tail of Opposites: Meow, Meow, or Woof, Woof?”
by Barclay Katt      134
The In-Class (or Examination) Essay      135
Sample Student Essay: In-Class Essay      137
Exercise 6.1      140
Sample Professional Essay: “Help Protect Our Bogs: Why It’s Important
to Save Our Wetlands” by Bev Yaworski      141
Chapter Review Questions      145

7 Introductions, Thesis Statements, and Conclusions      146

The Expository Essay Template      147
Exercise 7.1      149
viii Contents

The Essay’s Introduction      149

Functions of the Introduction: Reader’s Interest      149
Exercise 7.2      151
Other Functions      152
Features of the Introduction      153
Exercise 7.3      154
Exercise 7.4      157
Exercise 7.5      158
Exercise 7.6      159
Exercise 7.7      161
The Essay’s Conclusion      161
Functions of the Conclusion      161
Two Kinds of Conclusion      162
Exercise 7.8      163
Exercise 7.9      165
Sample Professional Essay: “Alouette Anniversary” by Hillary
Windsor      166
Chapter Review Questions      168

8 Claims, Evidence, and the Analytical Model      169

Kinds of Claims: Fact, Value, and Policy      170
Claim of Fact      170
Claim of Value      170
Claim of Policy      171
Exercise 8.1      171
Evidence      172
Organization of Evidence      172
Kinds of Evidence      172
Credibility      176
The Analytical Model      176
Exercise 8.2      177
Sample Professional Essay: “Punishing Cheaters Promotes the Evolution
of Cooperation” by Eric Michael Johnson      178
Chapter Review Questions      183

9 The Argumentative Essay      184

Emotional versus Logical Arguments      185
Exercise 9.1      185
 Contents ix

Exercise 9.2      186
Argument, Opinion, and Facts      187
Exercise 9.3      188
Exercise 9.4      189
Exercise 9.5      189
Faulty Reasoning      190
Exercise 9.6      192
Exercise 9.7      193
Creating Your Argument with Claims and Support      194
Arguable Claims      195
Specific, Interesting, and Manageable Claims      196
A Closer Look at Reason      198
Exercise 9.8      199
Rebutting the Opposing View      200
Topic-Based Rebuttal      200
Audience-Based Rebuttal      200
Purpose-Based Rebuttal      202
Sample Professional Essay: “Welcome to Canada? Immigration
Incentives May Not Be Enough for International Students to Stay”
by Sophia Lowe      202
Organizing an Outline for Argument      211
Exercise 9.9      212
Sample Student Essay: “Discrimination against Aboriginals in Canada:
Bill C-45” by Jane Freiburger      213
Oral Presentations      215
Creating a Presentation      216
Delivering a Presentation      218
Important Points to Consider When Making an Oral Presentation      219
Chapter Review Questions      219

PART THREE Research      221

10 Conducting Research      222
Developing Research Skills      223
Research: Finding and Exploring      224
Synthesis I: Integrating      225
Organization: Arranging      225
Synthesis II: Composing      226
Researching Your Topic      227
x Contents

Who Are These Experts—and Where Can You Find Them?      228

Exploring Your Topic      229
Note-Taking      230
Organizing Research Notes      231
Cross-Referencing      231
Some Useful Research Strategies      231
Using Contradictory Evidence      232
Sources of Research Material      233
Primary and Secondary Sources      233
Start with Secondary Sources      233
Internet Searches      235
Notes on Library Research      240
Alternative Sources      241
Chapter Review Questions      242

11 Using Your Research      243

Outlines for Research Essays      244
Outline for “The Cost of Buying Happiness: Why Less Is More”      244
Exercise 11.1      245
Plagiarism      245
Integrating Secondary Sources      248
Summary, Paraphrase, Direct Quotation, Mixed Quotation Format      248
Exercise 11.2      251
Signal Phrases, Ellipses, and Brackets      251
Documentation: In-Text Citations      254
Sample Student Essay: “The Cost of Buying Happiness: Why Less Is More”
by Sandy Crashley      254
Sample Student Essay: “Computer Ergonomics” by Mike Butler      258
Chapter Review Questions      262

12 APA and MLA Documentation Styles      263

Choosing Your Citation Style      264
APA      265
APA In-Text Citations      265
APA In-Text Citations by Format      267
APA References      270
Sample Student Essay: “Polar Bears: Bright Outlook or Grim Future”
by Adam Cook      278
 Contents xi

MLA      281
MLA In-Text Citations      281
MLA In-Text Citations by Format      283
MLA Works Cited      285
MLA Notes      294
Exercise 12.1      295
Sample Professional Essay: “What Lies Deep in the Unconscious:
A Psychoanalytical Scrutiny of Harry Potter in J.K. Rowling’s
Harry Potter Series” by Kaustav Chanda      297
Chapter Review Questions      304

PART FOUR Grammar      305

13 Sentence Essentials      306
Grammatical Groundwork      307
Parts of Speech      307
Nouns      307
Exercise 13.1      307
Exercise 13.2      309
Pronouns      309
Exercise 13.3      310
Exercise 13.4      311
Verbs      312
Exercise 13.5      313
Modifiers: Adjectives and Adverbs      313
Joiners: Prepositions and Conjunctions      314
Exercise 13.6      316
Exercise 13.7      316
Sentences      317
Exercise 13.8      318
Exercise 13.9      319
Exercise 13.10      319
Sentence Patterns      319
Exercise 13.11      322
Exercise 13.12      322
Exercise 13.13      322
Exercise 13.14      323
Sentence Errors      323
Sentence Fragments      323
Exercise 13.15      324
xii Contents

Exercise 13.16      326
Exercise 13.17      327
Exercise 13.18      328
Exercise 13.19      328
Sentence Errors      329
Run-On Sentence      329
Comma Splice      330
Exercise 13.20      332
Exercise 13.21      332
Exercise 13.22      333
Chapter Review Questions      334

14 Punctuation      335
Do Commas Matter?      336
Rule Category 1: Items in a Series      336
Rule Category 2: Independent Clauses      337
Rule Category 3: Parenthetical Information      339
Rule Category 4: Conventional and “Comma Sense” Uses      341
Exercise 14.1      343
Exercise 14.2      344
When Commas Are Not Required      346
Exercise 14.3      347
Other Forms of Punctuation      347
Semicolons      347
Exercise 14.4      351
Colons      352
Dashes and Parentheses      354
Exercise 14.5      355
Exercise 14.6      356
Apostrophes      357
Apostrophes for Possession in Nouns      357
Contractions      359
Exercise 14.7      359
Exercise 14.8      361
Chapter Review Questions      362

15 Agreement, Pronoun, and Sentence Structure Errors      363

Agreement      364
Subject–Verb Agreement      364
Rules for Subject–Verb Agreement      366
 Contents xiii

Pronouns at Work      369
Pronoun–Antecedent Agreement      369
Problematic Pronouns: Inclusive Language      371
Exercise 15.1      372
Exercise 15.2      372
Exercise 15.3      373
Other Problems with Pronouns      374
Pronoun Reference      374
Exercise 15.4      375
Exercise 15.5      378
Exercise 15.6      378
Exercise 15.7      379
Pronoun Case      380
Exercise 15.8      384
Pronoun Consistency      385
Exercise 15.9      386
Sentence Construction Errors      386
Misplaced Modifiers      387
Dangling Modifiers      389
Exercise 15.10      391
Exercise 15.11      392
The Parallelism Principle      393
Exercise 15.12      400
Exercise 15.13      401
Passive Constructions: The Lazy Subject      402
Exercise 15.14      403
Exercise 15.15      405
Exercise 15.16      406
Exercise 15.17      409
Exercise 15.18      410
Chapter Review Questions      411

16 Achieving Clarity and Depth in Your Writing      413

Effective Style: Clarity      414
Exercise 16.1      415
Exercise 16.2      415
Cutting for Conciseness      416
Doubling Up: The Noah’s Ark Syndrome      416
Exercise 16.3      417
Phony Phrases      418
xiv Contents

The Small but Not-So-Beautiful      419

Unintensives      419
Writing Directly      420
Numbing Nouns      421
Exercise 16.4      424
Exercise 16.5      424
Exercise 16.6      425
Working toward Precision: Wise Word Choices      426
Exercise 16.7      427
Exercise 16.8      429
Exercise 16.9      431
Exercise 16.10      431
Exercise 16.11      432
Common Words That Confuse      432
Exercise 16.12      440
Providing Depth: Variety and Emphasis      441
Sentence Variety      441
Exercise 16.13      441
Exercise 16.14      442
Creating Emphasis      443
Proofreading: Perfection Is Possible      445
Proofreading Methods      446
Guidelines for Proofreading      446
Common Errors      447
Essay Presentation      448
Chapter Review Questions      449

APPENDICES
A Verb Tenses      450
B A Checklist for EAL Writers      455
C Peer Edit Forms      473
D Partial Exercise Answer Key: Chapters 13–15      479
E Essay Templates      498

Glossary      500
Index      507
 Readings xv

Readings
Sample Professional Essays

Eva Holland, “Bear Cub: Rogue Wildlife Is Par for the Course on Canada’s
Northernmost Green” 17
Jonathon Gatehouse, “Almost Famous Canadian Olympians” 24
Aubrey Jean Hanson & D. Lyn Daniels, “If These Walls Could Talk:
The Physical Traces of Residential Schools” 37
Cathy Gulli, “Why Do We Still Put Young People in Solitary Confinement?” 56
Sydney Loney, “Everything You Need To Know about Impostor Syndrome” 74
Stephanie Amos and Daphne Lordly, “Picture This: A Photovoice Study of International Students’
Food Experience in Canada” 91
Janet Nicol, “The $15 Minimum Wage Movement Rises Up” 111
Elizabeth Lee Ford-Jones, “Almost a Million Canadian Kids in Poverty
Is an Acute Emergency” 119
Bev Yaworski, “Help Protect Our Bogs: Why It’s Important to Save Our Wetlands” 141
Hillary Windsor, “Alouette Anniversary” 166
Eric Michael Johnson, “Punishing Cheaters Promotes the Evolution of Cooperation” 178
Sophia Lowe, “Welcome to Canada? Immigration Incentives May Not Be Enough
for International Students to Stay” 202
Kaustav Chanda, “What Lies Deep in the Unconscious: A Psychoanalytical Scrutiny
of Harry Potter in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter Series” 297

Sample Student Essays

Julianny Vahlis, “Response to ‘Why Do We Still Put Young People in Solitary Confinement’?” 61
Aimee Calma, “How to Win a Student Government Election” 127
Andrew Fodor, “What Is Leadership?” 130
Barclay Katt, “Tail of Opposites: Meow, Meow, or Woof, Woof?” 134
Jane Freiburger, “Discrimination against Aboriginals in Canada: Bill C-45” 213
Outline for “The Cost of Buying Happiness: Why Less Is More” 244
Sandy Crashley, “The Cost of Buying Happiness: Why Less is More” 254
Mike Butler, “Computer Ergonomics” 258
Adam Cook, “Polar Bears: Bright Outlook or Grim Future” 278
From the Publisher
Oxford University Press is pleased to present the third edition of The Empowered Writer, a four-in-one
text covering rhetoric, research, and grammar with integrated readings. This approach gives students
a detailed yet widely applicable and accessible guide for developing skills in writing and research.
Tailored specifically to college and university students in undergraduate composition courses,
this text offers an effective method for developing skills in research, writing, and personal and busi-
ness communication. Key principles are illustrated through sample professional and student essays
and reinforced through classroom-tested exercises that encourage students to empower themselves
as writers in training, to participate actively in honing their skills, to make informed choices, and
to think critically about how and why they write.
This revised edition features new essays on topics relevant to students in Canada, including the
experiences of immigrant students, poverty, environmental protection, and the legacy of residential
schools. The summary writing chapter (Chapter 5) appears earlier in the book to reflect the order of
instruction at the college and university level. New margin notes direct students to related topics in
other chapters, and a new appendix provides essay templates for easy reference. The documentation
chapter (Chapter 12) includes the latest in apa and mla documentation styles.
We hope that, as you browse through the pages 4 | Paragraph
and

that follow, you will see why we believe The Empow-

Essay Developm
ent 81
Exe rcise 4.1

ered Writer remains the most exciting and innova- Choose a body
the author crea
paragraph from
tes unified, cohe
one of the essa
rent, and well-
ys in this textbook.
Identify how
transitions conn developed para

tive textbook for Canadian students of writing and

ecting one para graphs. Look for
Identify the main graph to the next
ideas of the para and to the essa
grap y as a whole.
follow the auth hs and their deve
or’s train of thou lopment. Can
prepared to expla ght? What areas, if you

composition. in your answer any, could be

to a classmate improved? Be
or your instructor.

Development
Pa tterns

Exceptional Features
A topic influences
an essay
“Which is more impo ’s or paragraph’s organization. For exam
rtant at college or ple, the topic
good grades?” indic university: acquiring
ates a comparison–c skills or getting
to the problem of ontrast organization

of The Empowered
homeless people” pattern. “Solutions
“Do you believe that could use the prob The topic of the
essay may
homeless people are lem–solution patte
PART TWO | Essays homelessness as muc a problem?” place rn. determine the
organization,
168 h more important s the but each parag
One way to generate than the solutions.next 50 prob years
lem have
of use a different
raph may
ct what the patte
it’s hardpatte predi
to rns of deve rn.

Writer
[11] MacLean Tabl e 4.1.that
says Each ques lopment is to ask in the
tion leads to a parti satell queswill,
theites tions in
The author skillfully
switches paragraph. If,spac e industry butcular hope methsodthat
for developing an essay
in store for Canada’s for exam ple, for the country, orespe
-
from a focus on the
past to methods to deveelopcommyour unica
topictions
is “fastparity
food,” you could
for next five years , provid it. use any of these The chap ters in Part Two
the future possibilities discuss the types
TAB LE 4.1
. Question and
Canada.
cially in the North s and Method components of
essays.
ment s of Develop
esn’t
naysayers before—do
Question lin—who’s faced down
[12] For his part, Frank Metle can accomplish:
“People
Abundant exercises. Well over a have beenWhe
Wha is it? ns or limits on what peop hod of Development
like to set expetctatio
n didtacul
spec arly wrong about forec
it occur?
asting
Definition
the future before.”

hundred exercises designed to be [13] In other

What does it look
words,
How can
like?
the
it be told?
sky’s the limit.
Chronology (time

Description
)

50 years of
completed individually or in groups Windsor, H. (2012,
Cana da’s role
Why in
do it? orugust
How do you July/A
space
should/does it
). Alouette anniv ersary: Celebrating
Narration
How does it workGeographic. Retrieved from http://
. Canadian ? Process (“how
to”)
_year s_in_s pace.
www.
asp
gazine/ja12/canada_50
provide students with ample oppor-
affec
a/mat me?
canadiangeographic.c Personal
What kinds/ca
tegories are there
?
Whating
Post- Read Ques tions Classification/
division
causes/accou

tunity to practise and refine their could it be improved?

nts for it? What
result/effect? is the CauHow
statement effective? se–effect
1. Is the essay’s thesis ive introduction?
created a more effect
2. How could answer?or have
What is the Winds
nces? Explain.
topic sente
skills. Exercises include autho r use effect ive Que stion–answer d in Chapter 3?
3. DoesHow the
can it be show what you learne
raphs differ
n? from
4. How do the parag into a full paragraph?
Example/i
usion be expanded llustration
5. How could the concl
(Continued)

estions
• post-reading questions Chapter Review Qu
mor23615_ch04_
079-103.indd 81
important?
• chapter review questions 1. Why is a clear thesis
2. What is the difference
between a simple thesis statem
expanded
ent and an12/10/1
6 07:56 PM

thesis statement? overly broad or

• documentation exercises
an
should you never start an introduction with
3. Why
obvious statement?
a conclusion?
• grammar exercises 4. Why does an essay need
5. Why is a well-w ritten
conclusion as important
as a well-w ritten

introduction?
 From the Publisher xvii

High-interest professional essays. Exe rcis e 2.4

2 | The Writin
g Situation
37 38 PAR T ONE
| Writing and

Accessible selections cover topics

Reading
Many of the
articles foun
scribes to are d on the data
written for an bases your Shubenacadie
audience of college or unive . Edmonton.
Journal of Clinic experts. For rsity sub- La Tuque. St

of particular interest to stu-

al Practice
is written for example, the lowknife. St Michael’s. Mus
readers are people in the International Anne’s. Span cowequan.
familiar with medical field, Notice how ish. Elkhorn. Yel-
bases, find an the terminolo the authors tage la Prair Birtle. MacKay.
article writte gy used in its artic and its bring the reade ie. More than Camperville.
n for a spec les. Using these r into 140 existed, Por-
topic for a gene ialized audience data - the essay rathe from coast to
ral audience and one on r than coast to coa
pers). Compare (you might try the same [2] These were st.

dents—including experiences
focusing on
the writing style searching mag their own real buildings
same inform s. How are differ azines or news experiences. that stood in
ation? For exam ent words used pa- own early mom real places. Con
term would ple, in articles to convey the ents, which sider your
be used for about the use memories rise carr y smells,
turns? Which a general audi of language Here, Hanso to the surfa sounds, and
article would ence: disco , which n and
ce when you images. Visc
you cite more urse analysis Daniels do not many, resid return to a fami eral

of immigrant students, environ-

if you were writin or conversat rely on ential school
ion liar place. For
g to your class the reader’s
knowledge commanding sites call up
mates? an entire child
but provide
facts to institutional hood , bou
fectant. Betw architecture nd in
make sure the
een that smells
reader 1883 and 1996, 150,0 of chal k and disin -
Your primary audie understand
s the extent these schools, 00 children were

mental protection, and the legacy

such as your instr nce is the peop the issue. of
which were forced to atte
le you are comp typically struc nd
uctor. However, osing the document and separate tured with a
ers may read your other faculty mem for, areas for boys central chap
writing as well, bers or future What is the
purpose and girls. el
e-portfolios. Try especially as we employ- in including
to write with this are encouraged the word [3] Some build
called the secon larger audience to build

of residential schools. Marginal

angrily? ings have been
dary audience, of potential reade munity, acci destroyed—in
Of course, it’s in mind. rs, also dentally throu tentionally by
also important gh fire, ang the com -
by following his to acknowledge many cases, rily in some
or her directions your instructor people have act of vand
required to inclu for as a reader gathered to alism. In
de a title page with the assignment. For example,
cleanse. To mourn, to cele
leave these

­annotations highlight techniques

places behi brate, to heal
on it, omitting the instructor’s if you are nd. , to
this information name and cour
tions. Pay caref would be failin se number Are the writer [4] Other build
ul attention to g to meet his or s trying ings are succ
the presentation her to show how
font size and type. of your essay, using expecta- healing proce
slowly the Abandoned
and derelict,
umbing to the
gradual proc
the proper ess of deca

for students to follow or avoid.

The following An audience ss takes?
ing what hap their slow ruin y.
essay was writt can vary in
its pened and mirrors the slow
shorter than those en for a maga attitudes towar
recovering from work of expo
s-
in an academic zine, so the parag the writer, or
d the subject,
is essential. How it. Some argu
the basics, such essay. However, raphs are the thesis; these else can we e their presence
as keeping the the authors have attitudes can proof. They are prove what hap
sentences. purpose and audie followed range from
places we can pened? Thes
e sites are the
nce in mind and very positive
to very nega figur visit, plac
using topic tive. What purpo e out how we es to hear the
stories. Places
se do the will go forward
authors’ have
in mind
from here. to
by showing [5] Still othe
these three
distinct proce r buildings have
sses?
or education been transform
Sample Pro al programs ed. They host
band offices
fes ; they reclaim
Purpose an sional Essay:
fit of the com traumatic histo
munity. In the ries for the bene
d Audie nce in Winnipeg
, for example,
former Assin
iboia Indian
Residential Scho
-
If These Wa an agency ol
lls Could Talk of children.
The former Moh works to prote
ct the well- bein
: The Physica awk Institute g
of Res identia l Traces a cultural cent in Brantford, Onta
l School s re that co-p
resents the rio, houses
Aubrey Jean Indigenous world’s large
Han son and This article is arts festival. st multidisciplin
D. Lyn written for a In one rema ary
[1] Amid all Dan iels Canadian audie Shingwauk India rkable case
the testimony nce, who n Residentia , a girl who
would be famili l School in Saul attended
of the Truth and grappling ar with the the chancello t Ste Marie,
and Reconcilia with the past Truth and Recon r of Algoma Ontario, is now
, the conclusio ciliation Universit y—e
what physical tion Commiss n Commission stablished on
traces rema ion prompts . If it were that very site.
in of Indian us to consider written for an [6] At first glan
residential scho
internationa
l ce, a few brick
ols. St Paul’s.
audience, the
Either seems s might be
term would
out of place mistaken for
have to be expla
in a vast expa a set of boo
ined.
are all that is nse of windswep ks.
left of a supp t prairie. They
nants of som osed place
of learning.
ething large But they are
r. also rem-
mor23615_ch02_
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37

11/08/16 10:12
AM
mor23615_ch02_
031-062.indd
38

11/08/16 10:12
AM

ory Essay
127 Sample student essays. Numerous examples of student
6 | The Exposit

writing, many of which are new to this edition, illus-

activity
or benefits of the
Your conclusion
might focus on
mis
the importance
takes, reinforcing
the value of hav
ing the proper too
ls
trate important rhetorical techniques and demonstrate
com mon
or highlight
or taking safety
prec
Process essay top
auti ons .
ics include
to students that their best work can stand alongside
• choosing an
ideal apartment
page or your Fac
or roommate;
ebook home pag
e; the work of professionals.
• creating a web entation; lved
erPo int pres up you are invo
• giving a Pow edu cationa l event for a gro
social or
• organizing a
with; and
a job interview.
• preparing for
As you
and supp read the following 9 | The
y
oces s Es sa
orts her po essay, pa Argum
entativ
ent Es say: Pr
s background of ints. For y
Calma give her view each poin attention to ho e Essay

Sample Stud
so that the or if you t, ask your w the au 213
information disagree. th
Election
vernment reader can
identify with
her self whet
her she co
or presen
ts
a Student Go nvinces yo
How to Win
topic. u
Aim ee Ca lma ends with her
ent councils,
The author
steps required S ample
S
Argum tudent E s say
thesis and the
names: stud
go by many ies. to be successfu
l.
ernments can d student bod enta tiv
[1] Stu den t gov
, or even ass oci ate :
ups, stud ent uni ons inte gra l pie ce of write r does not D is c ri mina ti e E ssa
y
e the
ernment is an
Whil
student gro ent gov para graph with o n a gain st
y be, a stud is coveted. The beg in her
Whatever the title ma ern me nt such as “first,” A b ori
B ill C -4 ginals in Ca
t gov a transitio n
a seat on tha ugh an
and holding
easily
chosen thro the reader can 5 nada:
collegiate life are generally that this is the
government To win a stud
ent understand
t make up a be arduous. [1the Ja ne Fr
members tha pro ces s can lved in first step bec
ause of ] Abor
s ig in al
ei bu rg
er
s, and that
step people
pro ces har d and be invo clarity of the
thesis
M
and
an ha
electio n wo rk y
opening Aborigin ve
ents need to zation’s pas
t, and required in the als feel
been di
election, stud on the organi
for well that land scrimin
government themselves paragraph. over tw claims,
ated ag
ainst fo
es, educate This is tru o centur which r centur
school activiti y to win votes. that Calma
uses e in man ies, are
a good have be
en a m
ies. Freiburge
r uses a
ent bod Note y natio illustrat concret
the stud inaltosbeg in ajor iss example
engage with ns
fe io to show e
win struc ture el that ob , an n of ue
es in order to d Canad
para llel this disc for her support
ool act iviti n be
the reader ligations a is rim ination.
opening
mselves in sch eac h actio ing rm toet by under a perfe which statem
invo lve the suc h as new w in orde th th e ct ex ample. could be ent,
need to for activities, should follo e Canad treaties based
[2] Students Ab opinion
unt eer ing ess ia n an d or ig , no on
ction. Vol , in turn, the Indi
the proc federa - t fac
complete t.
ernment ele campus and [2Para
] Ollelis m is l govern an Act
a student gov the issues on ents successfully. n 18 O ment. are no
help to see with new stud in Chapter 11.
ctober t
ntation, will ing involved discussed Th is af fect 2012, th
student orie them. Becom s the In e Harp
gn aro und tha t will help stu - En m di an
er gove
rnmen
pai and vir llelis
form a cam at the school theon Act, th
para
Again, note menta t introdu
a presence student events
and l Assess e Navig ced Bill
p to develop Assisting with used. Aborigin ment Ac ation Pr C -45.
can also hel
The wr
al peop otectio iter introd
the election. ral campaigns
, le as th t. Thes
e chan n Act, uces a
votes during
controv
ents’ electo ther erod ey belie and th
dents attain ges ha ersial iss
hen stud e tre ve ve ange e ue to pro
rking light-
grounds
also hel p to strengt , and wo (C BC
at y and
In di
that mor
e la re d for her vide
activities can w compas sion News, genous ws and m any claims.
nts can sho ng ope n 9 qu rig ht le gi sla
draiser eve . Attendi feel thused for the estions ab s and th tion will
working on fun for the school Parallelism is at this bi out Idle e rights fur-
can sho w enthusiasm nt run s is another m aking po well. ll discrim No Mor of all C
an adians
nts ent governme e, 2013
as inates
hearted eve how the stud their
next step
wers aw agains ). Man
gs to learn government what wa ay from t them y Abor
board meetin the current them, by takin iginals
ent. Showing s best fo
r them, showin g the
ent involvem which g that decisio
method of stud is discrim non-Ab
original
n-
[3] Bill C ination. s know
-45 alte
agemen rs the In
t on re dian Ac
serves, t, wh ich incl
cont01/17/rol17re 04:18 PM making udes ch
serve la it easie anges
Waters nd (Got r for th to land
Protectio z, 2012 e fede man - The au
n Act. Th ). Bill C ral gove thor us
.indd 127 la ke s and no is -4 5 also al rnmen support es a fac
mor23615_ch06_1 23-145
Act wa ters the t to her arg t to
w only s used ument.
and oc covers to protec Navigab
eans vu 97 lake t 2. 5 million le
lnerable s and 62
and th to expl riv ers. This river s and
e contro oitation leaves
ward (F versial and it rivers, la
otherin Enbridge leads th kes,
gham, Norther e way
tion, as 2013). Ag n Gatew to minin
the pe ai n, ays pipe g
their liv ople wh this alte line to m
es are o live on th ra tio n is felt ov e for-
disrupt ese land to be di
ed. s will no scrimin
t be co a-
nsulted
before

mor23615_
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01/17/17
04:16 PM
xviii From the Publisher

and Reading
8 PART ONE | Writing

Critical Thinking
king?
What Is Cri tical Thin
evidence and come to a
you weigh and evaluate
When you think critically, defined as “a series of logica
l mental pro-
Critic al think ing can be
conclusion. include
Critical thinking is
a series of
usion.” These processes may
logical mental proces
ses that cesses that lead to a concl
lead to a conclusion.
ents;
analyzing the author’s statem
• other authors say;
you already know or what
comparing these to what
•
ty of statem ents;
evaluating the validi
• e of inform ation;
or the sourc
questioning the credibility
•
on the topic; and
rethinking your position
• what you already
er) the information with
synthesizing (putting togeth
•
know.
involves many related activi
ties, such as examin- Critical-thinking focus. The authors encourage
Because critical thinking es, it can take some
information from other sourc
ing an issue and getting more
time. The best way to succe
ed is to slow down and to
be more careful in your students to think critically about their plans and
comp lete each stage.

See pages **–** for

tips on
thinking so that you can
Many of your assignment
s will require you to form
r your critical thinking
conclusions about what
skills whenever you read
a purposes for writing in order to structure their work
you have read. You trigge ssion, or to use it for
and to conduct research effectively.
l reader discu
becoming a carefu oom
who asks important, to comm ent on it, such as during a classr
work
ns.
relevant questio
support in your essay.
king
Applying Cri tical Thin a
ng the best choice from
l thinking involves maki
The highest level of critica or evaluate a real-life
you read an essay or book
range of possibilities. When what to think . A writer or situation
not directly told
situation, you are usually meaning. When you infer,
and leave you to infer the
might present the evidence read or see. The best in-
usion based on what you
you arrive at a probable concl nce is weighed.
ble one after all the evide
ference is the most proba

Exercise 1.3
situation:
Consider the following
does not show up. The
for a coffee, but she
You invite a new friend ask her what happened
.
her unexpectedly and
next day, you meet says matter-of-factly, “I was
seconds and then
She pauses for a few me.”
and they just released
abducted by aliens,

10/25/16 03:52 PM

d 8
mor23615_ch01_001-032.ind

3 | Paragraph Essen
tials 65
If speed limits were abolis
hed on highways, the neces
forcement officers to patrol sity for law en-
the highway for speeders
tailed. As a result, police would be cur-
chiefs might have more office
special community projec rs to assign to
ts, such as MADD or drug
in elementary schools. These awareness projects
officers could spend their
of social and community time on a variet y
projects that would benefi
of youths precisely at the t a large number
time when they need this
tion, more officers could guidance. In addi-
be allotted to other impor
typically understaffed today tant areas that are
, such as surveillance and
prevent drug smuggling. patrol duty to
Surely the presence of police
nity or their dedication to in the commu-
large-scale projects such
would be more beneficial as drug smuggling
to public safety than havin
highways. g them patrol the

Helpful marginal notes. Writing tips, content sum- Connecting Paragr

aphs by Using Transit
ion
s
maries, and a running glossary reinforce important Your reader must be able to
Most readers expect a new
follow your thoughts from
paragraph to introduce a
one paragraph to the next.
new topic. As the relation-
ship between topics may
ideas. Boldfaced key terms are defined in the mar- be a word, phrase, or clause
not always be clear, it is impor
so that the reader can conne
ct the ideas in different parag
tant to use transitions
raphs. A transition can
A transition conne
cts ideas from
one sentence or parag
. It can occur at the end of raph to

gins, and the definitions are compiled in a glossary. at the beginning of the next
that you must conclude each
a paragraph as a wrap or
paragraph as part of the topic
paragraph so that the reader
sentence. Remember
the next.

are finished discussing that understands that you

New margin notes provide cross-references to related nect sentences within parag
particular topic.
When connecting paragraphs
, avoid the kinds of transi
tions used to con-
See “Transitions betwe
Sentences” on page
en
**.
raphs, such as for example,
material in other chapters. They are not usually strong
the next one.
enough to connect one parag
consequently, moreover.
raph’s main idea to
When making conne
between paragraphs,
ctions

brief one-word transiti

avoid
The following sentence begin ons.
s with a dependent clause They usually are too
weak
introducing the paragraph’s (underlined) before to link main points,
topic (italicized). The depen though
transition, showing that dent clause acts as a they can be useful within
the previous paragraph focus paragraphs to link subpo
independence through home ed on the fostering of ints.
schooling. The independen
new topic. t clause introduces the
Chapter 13 focuses
on
sentence construction
.
Although the qualities of
independence and self-m
portant in a home-schooled otivation are im-
education, its flexibility enable
to learn at his or her own s the child
pace, matching progress to
learning processes. the child’s natural

Student writer Marissa Miles

This sentence combines
an indirect reference to the
with the topic sentence of preceding paragraph
the current one:

mor23615_ch03_063-078.indd
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11/08/16 08:56 AM
 From the Publisher xix

12 | APA and MLA Docu

mentation Styles
281
of the polar bear popu
lation could beco me
2012). The way the extinct by 2050 ( WWF
huma n race conti ,
nues to use and abus
planet, undoubted e the
ly the clima te chan
ge supp orting scien
be corre ct abou t the tists will
polar bear s’ extinction
unless imme diate and
Updated and thorough coverage of
corre ctive actio ns
are enga ged by peop
race pull it toget her, le unite d. Can the
huma n
or are the polar bear
Only time will tell. s’ days truly numb ered?

documentation. The authors outline both

Amstrup, A. C. (1993,
References
April). Human disturb
APA and MLA documentation styles,
ances of denning polar

making the book a valuable resource for

Alaska. Arctic Institu bears in
te of North America, APA requires that the
http://arctic.journalho 46(3), 246–250. Retrie
sting.ucalgary.ca/arcti ved from references begin on
c/ind ex.php/arctic/ar a new
view/1349/1374 ticle/ page at the end of
the essay.
Castro de la Guardia,
L., Derocher, A. E., Myers
D., Lunn, N. J. (2013,
Bay and consequenc
September). Future sea
, P. G., Terwisscha van
Scheltinga, A.
ice conditions in Weste
students in a wide variety of disciplines.
rn Hudson

The instructions have been updated

es for polar bears in
Biology, 19(9), 2675–2 the 21st century. Globa
687. doi:10.111/gcb.1227 l Change
Walsh, J. J., Dieterle, 2
D. A., Chen, F. R., Lenes
. . Christensen, J. (2011) , J. M., Maslowski, W.,

according to the most recent style

. Trophic cascades and Cassa no, J. J. .
within ice-free Arctic future harmf ul algal blooms
Seas north of Bering
gress in Oceanogra Strait: A simulation analy
phy, 91(3), 312–344. sis. Pro-

manuals.
World Wildlife Fund
(2012). Effects of clima
from http://assets.world te change on polar
bears. Retrieved
wildlife.org/publications/
of_Climate_Change_on 398/files/original/Effect
_Polar_Bears_fact_shee s_
World Wildlife Fund. t.pdf
(n.d.). Marine proble
wwf.panda.org/about_ ms: Pollution. Retrie
ved from http://
our_earth/blue_planet/
problems/pollution/

ML A
Like APA, MLA style is paren
thetical, meaning that it includ
However, the reference list es in-text citations.
is replaced with a works cited MLA in-text citation
s include the
tion is presented differently. list, and the informa- author’s surname and
page or
paragraph number(s).

MLA In-Text Cita tion

s
MLA in-text citations
include the author’s surna
parentheses. Separate the me(s) and page number(s)
items with a single space; do not use a in
comma unless

mor23615_ch12_263-304.indd
281

01/16/17 04:50 PM

12 | APA and MLA Docu

mentation Styles
265
that it is the most curren
t edition. The examples in
cording to the following this chapter are styled ac-
manuals:

American Psychologic al
Association. (2010). Publi
the American Psychologica cation manual of
l Association (6th ed.). Wash
Author. ington, DC:
Modern Language Assoc
iation of America. (2016
ed.). New York, NY: Autho ). MLA Handbook (8th
r.
The MLA also publishes the
MLA Style Manual and
The following sections provid Guide to Scholarly Publishing.
e the basic standards for docum APA and MLA are
both
in APA and MLA, with examp enting sources parenthetical styles,
les to illustrate each forma
and updates, check the associ t. For more samples meaning that parent
ations’ respective websites heses
https://style.mla.org/). If (www.apast yle.org/ and are used to enclose
brief
you use the websites for help, bibliographical informa
information with at least always double-check the tion
one other site and take note about the source within
last updated, if possible. of when the website was main text.
the
If you have run out of resour
any more time to spend on ces or simply don’t have
finding citation rules, use
the rule closest to your partic common sense and adapt
ular case. You can also ask
your instructor for hard-t a reference librarian or
o-find formats.

APA
APA style is parenthetic
al—whenever you direct
author in your essay or use ly quote or paraphrase an
an author’s idea, you includ
theses in the sentence. You e a citation in paren-
also provide a more comp
sources in a reference list, lete description of all the
which appears on the final
page(s) of your essay.
APA In-Text Cita tion
s
Generally, APA in-text citatio
ns include the author’s surna APA in-text citations include
of publication, and (for me, the work’s year
direct quotations or parap the author’s surnam
e, year
number at the end of the hrases) the relevant page of publication, and
sentence. Separate the items page
the abbreviation p. or pp. with commas and use number(s).
for page or pages (do not italici
most cases, the end punct ze the abbreviations). In
uation comes after the closin
g parentheses.
(Ashton, 2008, p. 12).

If the sentence gives the autho

r’s name (i.e., uses a signal
clude a direct quotation, do
not repeat the name in the
clude the publication year and parenthetical citation. In-
page number(s) immediately
Ashton (2008, p. 12) found
that . . .
phrase) and does not in-
Sandy Crashley’s essay
“The Cost of Buying
after the author’s name. Happiness: Why Less
Is
More” (see Chapter
11, pp.
254–7) uses the APA
format.

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xx From the Publisher

A p p en d ix
A Checklist for EAL Wr
iters
B
and the parts of
ines on some English idioms
This appendix provides guidel for EAL writers.
s, which can be confusing
speech. It also discusses article

Adjectives
Checklist for eal writers. Students of Eng-
modif y, except predi-
One-word adjectives usuall
cate adjectives that follow
y precede the word(s) they
linking verbs (see pages 312–1
the noun they modif
3). However, relative
y and present specia l challe
n- lish as an additional language will benefit
(adjectival) clauses follow
ges for writers. from this appendix, which clarifies common
Adjectives as Partic

When a participle ending

iples

in –ed or –en precedes a

noun and acts as an adjec- idiomatic words and phrases and matters
es as a past participle:
of usage that native English speakers often
tive, keep the ending it requir
ce] life, he had the
a fast-paced [not fast-pa
Although Patrick lived reading a news-
hion] habit of stopping and
old-fashioned [not old-fas
paper every day at work. take for granted.
iples
nt versus Past Partic
Adjectives and Prese
particle (ends in –ing)
to feeling or emotion, use the present
For verbs related ple (ends in –ed or –en)
feeling and the past partici
when the subject causes the .
the feeling
when the subject experiences
g; the few fans
footba ll game was excitin
The surprise ending of the
m were excited.
left in the stadiu
it to today, you can use
a time in the past and relate
When you want to refer to c point in the past, you can
noun. To refer to a specifi
the adjective ago after the s and dates” on page 464.)
by on. (See “Time
give the date preceded

01/17/17 03:57 PM

455
mor23615_appB_455-472.indd

E A p p en d ix
Essay Templates
The templates for exposi
tory and argumentative
easy reference. See Chapt essays are reprinted here
er 5 for more about differe for
and Chapter 9 for more on nt types of expository essays
the argumentative essay.
EXPO SITOR Y ESSAY
TEMP LATE

Introductory paragraph

Essay templates. Templates for expository

with
thesis statement
Supporting idea
1.
2.

and argumentative essays appear in Body paragraph 1

Topic sentence
3.

Point 1

Chapter 7 and 9 and again in Appendix E Explanation/Illustration

Point 2
(quotation, personal
observation, etc.)

for quick and easy reference.

Explanation/Illustration
Point 3
Explanation/Illustration
Conclusion
Body paragraph 2
Topic sentence
Point 1
Explanation/Illustration
Point 2
Explanation/Illustration
Point 3
Explanation/Illustration
Conclusion
Body paragraph 3
Topic sentence
Point 1
Explanation/Illustration
Point 2
Explanation/Illustration
Point 3
Explanation/Illustration
Conclusion
Concluding paragraph
Main ideas to summ
arize
Clincher
Idea to leave reade
r with

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 From the Publisher xxi

A p p e n d ix
Peer Edit Forms
C Peer editing forms. These forms
help students to evaluate the work
Formal Outline of their classmates.
The essay outline provides
the structure for the essay.
should pay special attention Therefore, as an editor, you
to the relationship among
body paragraphs, conclusion), the parts (introduction,
to the order of arguments
strongest to weakest? some (weakest to strongest?
other logical order?), and to
ness of each main point (Is the strength and effective-
each adequately developed?
Is the claim supported?)

Inst ructions
Use the checkboxes to indica
te that you have considered
criteria. Add suggestions and evaluated the
, comments, questions, and
provided. advice in the space

Introduction
❏ What kind of formal
outline is used: topic, senten
graphic)? ce, or other (such as
❏ Does the introduction
attract your interest?
❏ Does it announce the
topic?
❏ Does it contain a two-p
art direct thesis statement
and commenting on the announcing the topic
topic?
❏ Is the claim one of fact,
value, or policy?
❏ Is the thesis statement
interesting, specific, mana
expressed? geable, and clearly
❏ Does each paragraph
contain at least one main
identified as such? If not, idea that can be easily
which paragraph(s) doesn
❏ Does each paragraph ’t do this?
contain at least two subpo
the main point? If not, which ints that help develop
paragraph(s) doesn’t?
❏ Has the writer provid
ed support for his/her argum
ways that he/she could ent? If not, suggest
use kinds of evidence (e.g.,
statistics, personal experience, examples, facts/
outside sources, etc.) to do
so.

mor23615_appC.indd
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A p p e n d ix
Partial Exercise Answ
Chapters 13–15
er Key: D
Exercise 13.2

1. The children built a large

snow fort.
Partial answer key. Answers to common/concrete/count
2. The doors were slamm
common/concrete/count
common/concrete/count
ed closed by the wind.

most of the grammar exercises 3. The women present were

common/concrete/count
common/abstract/count
all wearing hats.
common/concrete/count
allow students to check their
4. I would like five glasse
s of water, please.
common/concrete/count
common/concrete/non-count
5. I bought a hard drive
that has five terabytes of
progress. Unanswered exer- common/concrete/count
non-count
common/abstract/count
memory.
common/abstract/

cises can be assigned as graded

6. I went to Niagara Falls
yesterday.
proper/concrete/count
7. I graduated from Red
River College last summer.
coursework. proper/concrete/count
8. My job as assistant mana
ger is very challenging.
common/concrete/count
common/concrete/count
9. King Arthur’s Knigh
ts of the Round Table were
proper/concrete/count prope loyal and chivalrous.
r/concrete/count
10. Learning a new langu
age is difficult.
common/abstract/non-count
common/abstract/count
Learning to speak Chine
se is especially so for Engli
common/abstract/non-count sh speakers.
proper/abstract/non-count
common/concrete/count
common/concrete/count

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xxii From the Publisher

Online Resources
For Instructors
• An instructor’s manual features learning objectives, key terms, group work and take-home
assignments, in-class writing assignments, and additional resources for each chapter.
• A comprehensive test generator provides hundreds of questions in multiple-choice, fill-in-
the-blank, short-answer, and essay formats.

For Students
• A student study guide includes self-grading practice quizzes, consisting of multiple-choice
and short-answer questions; a practice mid-term exam; and a practice final exam.

www.oupcanada.com/Empowered3e
 Preface xxiii

Preface
M any books help students learn how to write at the college or university
level. The third edition of The Empowered Writer differs by addressing
the same material in a more academic manner. For example, the student sam-
ples are genuine, coming from students who have taken courses with us or
our colleagues. The professional essays—which have doubled in number in this
edition—also follow the rules set out in this text. While a few samples use a
journalistic style, students are rarely asked to analyze an essay that does not
follow the stylistic rules they have been learning.
Because critical thinking is an essential skill for any successful writer at
this level, the term is introduced and explained in detail from the outset and
its application is stressed throughout the book. Students are also introduced to
the differences between expository writing and argumentative writing; clear
examples, often with annotations, are provided so that the students can see the
differences. In addition, an extensive section about research and how to prop-
erly integrate and present sources in an essay outlines the most current practices
used in apa and mla documentation.
Writers at this level are typically required to use a more elaborate writing
style than they are accustomed to. Unfortunately, many students think that
this style requires using more words rather than choosing the most accurate
words or phrases. The later chapters help students build on grammar rules they
already know, allowing their grammatical structures to reflect a higher level of
writing. A section on style helps students learn to write clearly and concisely,
developing a valuable skill for the workplace.
We have included a chapter to deal exclusively with summary writing,
both as a stand-alone task and as a means to incorporate research material in
an essay. Again, the student summaries that we have included were written
by former students. Several of these summaries relate to the full-length essays
found in The Empowered Writer, which means that students can try their hand
at summary writing and compare their work with what others have produced.
Finally, the book includes chapter objectives, extensive exercises, and chap-
ter review questions. We also include post-reading questions at the end of most
sample essays, designed to help students connect content with technique. By
involving the student and encouraging the completion of these exercises, we
hope that students will consider writing a satisfying task.
xxiv Preface

Acknowledgements
I would like to thank all my students who have helped make this book possible. You have made
this journey so much fun!
K.M. Moran
October 2016

The authors and publisher would like to acknowledge the following reviewers, along with those
who wish to remain anonymous; your thoughtful comments and suggestions have helped to shape
The Empowered Writer:

Veronica Abbass, Seneca College Viktoria Jovanovic-Krstic, University of

Trevor Arkell, Humber College
Emily Ballantyne, Dalhousie University
Jennifer Chambers, Sheridan College
Marie-Josée Chapleau, College of the North
Atlantic
Paula Crooks, Conestoga College
Mark Feltham, Fanshawe College
Lynn Gresham, Conestoga College
Tom Gwin, Red Deer College
Gaye Hickman-Barr, Kwantlen Polytechnic
University
Chandra Hodgson, Humber College
Amanda Johnstone, Conestoga College
Toronto and Humber College
Navneet Kumar, Medicine Hat College
Annette Lapointe, Grande Prairie Regional
College
Louise Lloyd, Conestoga College
Roneen Marcoux, University of the Fraser
Valley
Lindsey McRae-Graine, Humber College
Wendy Morgan, Fleming College
Julie Morris, Sheridan College
Graham Pearce, College of New Caledonia
Carolyn Speakman, Lethbridge College
Fred Wood, Fleming College
 |  1

PART ONE
Writing and Reading
 1 Basic Skills
Development

In this chapter, ● the roles of writing, thinking, and reading in creating and under-
standing texts;
you will learn
● reading strategies and their processes;

● the value of critical thinking; and

● methods for reading unfamiliar words and improving

your vocabulary.

The writing process involves more than just writing

words. This chapter will explain the importance
of writing, thinking, and reading. You will explore
the importance of critical thinking in reading
and writing. You will also examine how to infer
word meaning and expand your vocabulary.
 1 | Basic Skills Development 3

An Integrated Approach
Writing is hard work, but there are practical strategies that make the experi- Chapter 2 discusses writing
for the workplace.
ence more rewarding. The writing skills you develop now will serve you well
in the future because good writing involves organizing your thoughts logic- Good writing involves
ally, choosing your words carefully, and creating documents that make sense to organizing your thoughts
your readers. logically, choosing your
words carefully, and crafting
documents that make sense

Writing and Thinking

to your readers.

Writing is inseparable from thinking. Like many writers, when you have an idea,
you may discuss it with friends, create a mind map, or draw pictures and label
them. By doing these activities, you translate concepts into words that make
sense to you. Once you have written the words, you have to ask yourself whether
they reflect exactly what you meant to say. Words are more concrete than ideas,
but getting words onto the page is simply one important step in the process.
Exercise 1.1 asks you to write about something you enjoy. Writing about a
familiar topic is often easier than writing about an unfamiliar one. This book
will help you go from this exercise to writing research papers and will show you
how the process is similar for all types of writing.

Exercise 1.1

Write about a skill or hobby that you enjoy—do not stop to edit yourself. When
you’ve finished, answer the following questions in one or two paragraphs:
1. What is your goal in pursuing this skill or hobby? Has the goal ever changed?
2. How would you attain your goal? What other approaches could you take?
3. Which do you enjoy more: working toward a goal or achieving it? Why?

Writing and Reading

Reading and the writing process are closely connected. When we read, we in-
terpret the writer’s thoughts according to what we already know (see Figure 1.1).
This includes our knowledge of words, our understanding of the world, and our
emotions. Reading expands our knowledge. By studying the works of other writ-
ers, we improve our own writing. Therefore, good readers are often good writers.
A good reader not only reads the words but also examines the text’s ideas
and how they are presented. Read this paragraph and then consider the follow-
ing questions:
4 Part one | Writing and Reading

Music was far more creative in the 1980s than it is today. The punk
and prog rock movements had expanded into new wave, which mixed
influences of both genres. Sounds and instruments were driven by
evolving technology. Musicians experimented with sounds more
than at any other time, and music videos brought a whole new ele-
ment to music. Fans could not only hear the music, but they could
also see the musicians. These stars became trendsetters, the likes
of which have not been seen since. Pop music of the 1980s was, of
course, the usual drivel that has been produced by every generation
and is analogous to today’s cult of rap and hip-hop, which all sounds
unimpressively alike.

1. Why did the writer use specific words? What words would be more or
less objective?
2. What did the writer mention that you already knew? What didn’t you
already know about the subject?
3. Did the writer state anything that you disagree with? If so, why do you
disagree?
4. Are the writer’s statements logical?

See pages 8–10 for a By examining writing in this way, you are beginning to develop critical reading
discussion on critical
and thinking skills.
thinking skills.

Writing Reading

Thinking

FIGURE 1.1 The critical writing cycle

You should be able to identify the main ideas in a piece of writing, espe-
cially if you are summarizing it. Try to identify the writer’s purpose in writing,
the intended audience, the writer’s style, or specific strategies used to communi-
cate meaning or tone. By analyzing any of these elements, you can enlarge
your own understanding and appreciation of the writing process and thereby
become a more effective writer.
Chapter 5 discusses You should also note when the author is being subjective rather than ob-
summary writing. jective. Authors often include their opinions, such as in the first sentence in the
paragraph about 1980s music. There is no factual basis for the statement; it is
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
 THE BOBO RAPIDS.

To-morrow we should pass Dunga where Amadu himself lived,

and I determined that our boats should look their best, so I had
everything put ship-shape on board. Our masts, which had been
lowered, as they gave too much purchase to the wind, were raised
again, and from them floated the tricolour flag of France. We were off
again now in fine style.
Our friend Hugo, however, was no friend to demonstrations of any
kind, and said to us, “What are you going to do on the left bank?
Can’t you follow me on the right where there is nothing to fear? It
won’t help your voyage much to be received with musket-shots, will
it? Besides, if you don’t follow me carefully, who will guide you
amongst the rocks?”
He had told us the evening before that there were no rocks
between Dunga and Say, so we let him go down his right bank all
alone, whilst we filed past Dunga, about a hundred yards from the
land.
 A group of some twenty horsemen had been following us ever
since the morning, and they halted at the landing-place of the village,
unsaddled their steeds and let them drink. On a height on which the
village is perched a square battalion of something like a thousand
warriors was drawn up.
All remained perfectly still, and not a cry or threat broke the
silence. We passed very slowly, our barges swept on by the current,
whilst we on deck looked about us proudly. Our enemies on their
side acquitted themselves bravely, and with considerable dignity,
though it must be confessed they reminded us rather of china dogs
glaring at each other.
When all is said and done, however, I think I may claim the credit
of having fairly challenged the Toucouleurs, leaving them to take up
my glove or to leave it alone as they chose. This may have seemed
like bravado, and perhaps there was a little of that in my attitude, but
as an old warrior of the Sudan myself, and a fellow-worker though a
humble one of the Gallieni and the Archinards, I would rather have
run any risk than have had our historic enemies the Toucouleurs
think I was afraid of them. The tone I took up too gave us an
ascendency later which we sorely needed.
After going about twenty-two miles further down the river, we
anchored near enough to Say to make out the trees surrounding it,
and the next day we reached the town itself, which had for so long
been the object of our desires.
Say is a comparatively big place, but not nearly as important as it
is often made out to be. It is made up of straw huts with pointed
roofs, and is surrounded by palisades also of straw. Only one house
is built of mud, and that forms the entrance sacred to the chief.
The river flows on the east of the town, and on the west is a low-
lying tract of what are meadows in the dry season, but mere swamps
in the winter.
We anchored at once, but the stench from the rubbish on the
banks of the river was so great that we soon moved to the southern
extremity of the village, where the shore was cleaner.
 Our passengers meanwhile had gone to announce our arrival,
and old Abdu, who is in command of the prisoners of the chief of
Say, soon came to see us. Baud and Vermesch had had some
dealings with him, and had spoken well of him to us, while Monteil
also alludes to him. He seemed a very worthy sort of fellow.
After the customary exchange of compliments, I asked to be
permitted to pay a visit to his master, Amadu Saturu, generally
known under the name of Modibo, or the savant, and Abdu went off
to make my request known at once, but we waited and waited a very
long time before any answer was vouchsafed.
We were simply consumed with impatience, and I augured ill from
the delay. I remembered of course that Modibo had signed treaty
after treaty with Baud, Decœur, and Toutée, only I could not help
also remembering how little a diplomatic document such as a so-
called treaty really ever binds a negro, and that made me hesitate to
trust him.
Most Mussulmans, at least most of the Mahommedan chiefs and
marabouts, are liars and deceivers. They have a hundred ways, not
to speak of mental reservation, of swearing by the Koran, without
feeling themselves bound by their oath. If they respected a promise
given as they ought to do, would their prophet have taught that four
days’ fasting expiated the violation of an oath?
If they cheat like this when they know what they are about, how
are they likely to behave when everything is strange to them? and
they attach no moral value to the terms of an agreement, especially
of an agreement of many clauses such as is the fashion for the
French to make with native chiefs.
To pass the time whilst waiting for the return of our messenger we
chatted with a Kurteye marabout, who came to give us a greeting.
He read Madidu’s letter with some difficulty, but great interest. I
asked him whether Modibo generally kept his visitors waiting like
this, and he replied, “Yes, it makes him seem more important, but
you will see him when it gets cooler.”
 So we waited with what patience we could, and at about five
o’clock Amadu Saturu sent for me. Oh, what a series of preliminaries
we still had to go through!
According to my usual custom I went to see the chief unarmed,
accompanied only by Suleyman and Tierno Abdulaye.
First we had to wait in the ante-chamber—I mean the mud hut
referred to above—the walls of which were pierced with niches
making it look like a pigeon-cote.
At last his majesty condescended to admit us to his presence.
The king of Say could not be called handsome, sympathetic, or
clean. He was a big, blear-eyed man, with a furtive expression, a
regular typical fat negro. He was crouching rather than sitting on a
bed of palm-leaves, wearing a native costume, the original colour of
which it was impossible to tell, so coated was it with filth. He was
surrounded by some thirty armed men. On his left stood the chief of
the captives, Abdu, with an old dried-up looking man, who I was told
was the cadi of the village, and, to my great and disagreeable
surprise, quite a large number of Toucouleurs. Suleyman and
Abdulaye, who recognized what this meant, exchanged anxious
glances with me. I now realized that my apprehensions had been
well founded. Still I took my seat quietly, without betraying any
emotion, on a wooden mortar, and begun my speech.
 VIEW OF SAY.

“The Sultan of the French greets you, the chief of the Sudan
greets you, etc. We come from Timbuktu. We passed peacefully
everywhere. We are now tired, the river is low, and in conformity with
the conventions you have made with the French we have come to
demand your hospitality that we may rest and repair the damage
done to our boats by the rocks. We also want a courier to go and tell
our relations at Bandiagara that we have arrived here safely. All we
need to support us during our stay will be paid for at prices agreed
on beforehand between us. Lastly, I wish to go and see Ibrahim
Galadjo, your friend and ours.”
“Impossible,” replied Modibo. “Galadjo is not now at his capital, he
is collecting a column; besides, you will not have time for the journey
to him.”
“Why not, pray?”
“Because you, like those who have preceded you, must not stop
here more than four or five days longer. That is the custom of the
country.”
 If I still cherished any illusions this speech finally dispersed them.
The groups about the chief moreover left me in no doubt as to his
sentiments, or as to whom we had to thank for those sentiments.
The Toucouleurs grinned, and waved their muskets above their
heads in a hostile manner. Abdu alone tried to speak on our behalf,
but Modibo ordered him to be silent, and the cadi joined in the
chorus against us. A griot then began a song, the few words of which
I caught were certainly not in our praise. Everything seemed to be
going wrong.
What was I to do? As I had said, we were all tired out, the river
was half dried up, the boats were terribly knocked about. Still it was
not altogether impossible to go, for after leading the life of the
Wandering Jew for so long, a little more or less travelling could not
matter much. We might perhaps have managed to do another fifty
miles or so, and try to find rest in a more hospitable district, where
we could pass the rainy season not so very far from Bussa, which
was to be our final goal.
One thing decided me to act as I did, and I can at least claim that I
made up my mind quickly. I was determined to fulfil to the letter, with
true military obedience, the last instructions I had received before
starting. These were my instructions—
“Bamako de Saint-Louis, Number 5074. Received on November
23, at half-past four in the afternoon—Will arrange for you to receive
supplementary instructions at Say. In case unforeseen
circumstances prevent those instructions being there before your
arrival, wait for them.”
This, as will be observed, is clear and precise enough. Of course
such orders would not have been sent but for the ignorance in
France of the state of things at Say. They would otherwise have
been simply ridiculous. However, an order cannot be considered
binding unless he who gives that order understands exactly what will
be the position when he receives it, of the person to whom it is sent,
and who is expected to execute it.
Still those instructions might arrive; rarely had such a thing
happened in French colonial policy, but it was just possible that our
presence at Say was part of a plan of operations at the mouth of the
Niger or in Dahomey. I need hardly add that it turned out not to be
so, but I was quite justified in my idea that it might have been, and in
any case I had no right to conclude to the contrary.
So I decided in spite of everything and everybody to remain.
Oh, if we had but started a little earlier; if M. Grodet had not
stopped us and kept us in the Sudan as he did! If we could but have
joined the Decœur-Baud, or even the Toutée expedition at Say, how
different everything would have been!
If only the promised instructions had really been sent us, as they
could have been, had any one wanted to send them! If only a small
column either from Dahomey or from Bandiagara had, as it might so
easily have been, commissioned to bring us those instructions, I am
convinced that Amadu Saturu would at this moment be a fugitive like
Amadu Cheiku, and that the Niger districts near Say would be
purged from the presence of slave-dealers. For all these robbers of
men, who are as cowardly as they are cruel and dishonest, would
have fled at the first rumour of an advance of the French upon their
haunts.
It ought to have been otherwise, that is all. It is not the time for
recrimination, but I shall count myself fortunate if what happened to
me serves as an example to others, and prevents the sending out of
expeditions only to abandon them to their fate, without instructions,
in the heart of Africa. For, as a rule, these expeditions seem to be
completely forgotten until the news arrives that they have managed
to get back to civilized districts after a struggle more glorious than
fruitful of results, or that, as sometimes happens, all the white men
have perished somewhere amongst the blacks.
To decide to remain at Say was, however, one thing, to be able to
do so was another.
There were just twenty-nine of us, five white men and twenty-four
black, with three children, the servants of Bluzet, Father Hacquart
and Taburet, and the Toucouleur Suleyman, on whom, by the way,
we did not feel we could altogether rely, a small party truly against
the 500 warriors of Amadu and his Toucouleurs or Foutankés, as
they are often called, not to speak of the people of Say and all who
were more or less dependent on Modibo.
I sometimes play, as no doubt my readers do too, at the game
called poker.
We all know that skill consists in making your adversary believe
when you have a bad hand that you have a very good one. This is
what is known as bluff. To make up for my purse having sometimes
suffered in this American game, it put me up to a dodge or two in
politics, notably on the present occasion.

CANOES AT SAY.

So I played poker as energetically as I could.

If ever a man went to his dinner after listening to a lot of
nonsense, it was Modibo on this 7th of April when I had my interview
with him.
I said amongst other things—“I have lived amongst the negroes
now for seven years; I know the river which flows past your village
from the spot where it comes from the ground. I have been in many
countries. I have known Amadu Cheiku, who is a great liar” (here the
Toucouleurs all nodded their heads in acquiescence), “and his son
Madani, who is no better than he is.
“I must, however, confess that never, in the course of my
experience, have I seen anything to equal what I see here to-day.
“Relations of ours have been here, some alone, others with
soldiers, all of whom have loaded you with presents. You promised,
nay more, you made alliance with us French, but now you break your
word. Very well! My Sultan, who is a true Sultan and not a bad chief
like you, who lolls about in a dirty hut on a moth-eaten coverlid, has
done you too much honour. You are viler than the unclean animals
whose flesh your prophet forbids you to eat. Now listen to me. My
chief has ordered me to stop here, and here I shall stop, a day if I
choose, a year if I choose, ten years if I choose. We are only thirty,
and you are as numerous as the grains of sand of the desert; but try
and drive us away if you can. I do not mean to begin making war,
because my chief has forbidden me to do so; you will have to begin,
and you will see what will happen. We have God on our side, who
punishes perjurers. He is enough for me; I am not afraid of you.
Adieu! We are going to seek a place for our camp where there are
none but the beasts of the field, for in this country they are better
than the men. Collect your column and come and drive us away!—
that is to say, if you can!”
Suleyman was a first-rate interpreter when he had this sort of
harangue to translate. The good fellow, who was of anything but a
conciliatory disposition, would drop out all flattering expressions or
cut them very short, but when he had such a task as I had set him
just now, he went at it with hearty goodwill. He was more likely to
add to than to omit anything I had said.
After this vehement address Modibo and his attendants seemed
quite dumfounded. What grisgris, what fetiches must these infidels,
these accursed white men have, if they could dare to speak in such
a bold fashion as this when they were alone in a strange country with
not more than thirty muskets at the most.
 It was very important not to give our unfriendly host time to
recover from his stupor. We filed out therefore in truly British style,
and I think we did well not to loiter. It was not without a certain
satisfaction that after traversing the two or three hundred yards
between us and the river I saw our flags floating above our boats.
Imagine, however, the feelings of my people when I burst in upon
their preparations for a meal in the tents already pitched, with the
order, “Pick all that up, and be on your guard, ready to be off at any
moment.”
Farewell to our good cheer, farewell to what we thought was to be
a safe and comfortable camp. We had to place sentinels and be
constantly on the alert. Our coolies, too, who had already made
advances to some of the belles of Say, were bitterly disappointed,
but we had no choice, and they had to fall in with our wishes or
rather commands, that all intercourse with the natives should be
broken off.
The next night we had to be all eyes and ears, and I at least did
not sleep a wink, so absorbed was I in thinking what had better be
done. I was determined to remain at Say at whatever cost, and it
struck me that the best plan would be to lead a kind of aquatic life,
enlarging the decks of our boats, so to speak, which really were
rather too small for us and our goods. An island would be the thing
for us. So we resolved that we would go and look for a suitable one
the next day.
On the morning of the 8th, Abdu tried to bring about a
reconciliation, but the poor devil only wasted his time and his breath.
He was the only man at Say who in his heart of hearts had the least
real sympathy for us, and he gave ample proof of this, for he never
took any part in the intrigues against us, which were the worry of our
lives for five months and a half. We never saw him again; he never
came to beg for a present like the false and covetous marabouts
who form the sham court of his chief. In a word, the slave was
superior to his master.
At noon on the 8th, mentally calling down on Say all the
maledictions she deserved for disappointing all our hopes, I gave the
word of command to weigh anchor, and once more we were being
carried along by the waters of the Niger.

OUR GUIDES’ CANOE.

THE ‘AUBE’ AT FORT ARCHINARD.
 CHAPTER VII

STAY AT SAY

We soon came in sight, as we rounded a bend of the stream, of a

thicket of trees on an island which seemed made on purpose for us.
We landed and pitched our tents.
The most important characteristic of an island is that it should be
completely surrounded with water. Well, our island fulfilled this
condition, for the time being at least. On the left, looking down
stream we could see the principal arm of the Niger, the deepest part
of the river, in which, however, the rocks of the bed were already
beginning to emerge, whilst on the right was a narrower channel
barred at the end by a rapid, beyond which the water disappeared
entirely underground. Yet further away in the same direction we
could see a little branch of the broken-up river with a very strong
current hastening on its way to join the main stream, where I could
not tell.
Our island was about 218 yards long by 328 broad. At one end,
that looking up-stream, was a rocky bank, whilst the other, looking
down-stream, consisted of low-lying alluvial soil, often of course
submerged, dotted here, there, and everywhere with the mounds of
the termites, and at this time of year completely deserted. A few fine
and lofty tamarinds and other trees with large trunks but little foliage
formed a regular wood, and afforded us a grateful shade; but the
island as a whole, with its ant-hills, its twisted, tortuous, and leafless
trunks, and its ground strewn with sharp and broken flints, presented
a very wild and desolate appearance when we first landed.
Its situation, however, was really far from unpleasing, for on the
deserted left bank the inundations are never very deep, and near to
it rise wooded hills, with here and there perpendicular cliffs rising
straight up from the river. Nearly opposite to us was one of these
cliffs, white with guano or with lime, which looked to me very well
suited for a permanent post. Being quite bare of vegetation, this cliff
stands out against the verdure of the woods, and from the evening to
the morning, from twilight to sunrise, great troops of big black
monkeys assemble in it, and hold a regular palaver just as the
negroes do. Often at night their cries quite alarm us, and keep the
sentries constantly on the qui vive.
The whole of the riverside districts on the left bank, from Kibtachi
to the Toucouleur villages up-stream, are completely deserted and of
bad fame. Now and then we saw men armed with bows and arrows
prowling about on a slave hunt, or deer came down to drink. The
right bank is far less dreary. Opposite to us is Talibia, a little
agricultural village, tributary to Say. We can make out the gables of
the pointed huts surrounded by palisades and sanies or fences
made of mats. When the millet is full grown these pointed huts are
quite hidden by it, and the scene is one of great beauty, giving an
impression of considerable prosperity. Women come down to the
beach to fetch water, and bathe in the arm of the stream. On market
day at Say—that is to say, on Friday—there is great excitement at
Talibia, men, women, and children trooping to market with their
wares as they do in France, carrying their butter, their mats—in a
word, all the produce of the week’s work on their heads.
Above Talibia and the confluence of the third arm of the river the
wood becomes dense and impenetrable. A little path follows the
river-bank through the tall grass, and during our long stay in the
island it was the daily morning occupation to watch from the top of
the island who should come along this path, for by it alone could
king’s ambassadors, marabouts, market-women or any one else
approach us.
 VIEW OF OUR ISLAND AND OF THE SMALL ARM OF THE
RIVER.

Our island was quite deserted by the natives, for though the
people of Talibia grew millet on it before our arrival, they would never
live on it, or even sleep on it for one night, for it had a very bad
reputation, and was supposed to be haunted by devils, horrible
devils, who took the form of big fantastic-looking monkeys, and after
sunset climbed upon the ant-hills and held a fiendish sabbat.
Without calling in the aid of the supernatural to account for it,
there is no doubt that people belated on the left bank were never
seen again. Perhaps they are taken captive by the robber
Djermankobes, or fall victims to lions or hyænas.
However that may be, the Talibia devils, as were those of Wuro
and Geba later, were propitious to us. All these spirits, whether of
Kolikoro, of Debo, or of Pontoise, are really cousins-german. Ours
were the spirits of the Niger, and the negroes explained our immunity
from their attacks by saying, “They can do nothing against an
expedition, the leader of which is the friend of Somanguru, the great
demon of Kolikoro, and who knows the river at its source, where it
comes out of the earth, where no one else has ever seen it.”
I imagine that since our departure the natives of Talibia have still
avoided the island. Our residence on it was not enough to
rehabilitate it, and probably now many rumours are current about the
spirit which haunts the ruins of our camp.
It was really a great thing to be on an island. We were safe there
from hyænas at least, and all we had to do was to put our camp in a
state of defence against the Toucouleurs and their friends.
The first fortification we put up was a moral one, for we baptized
our camp Fort Archinard, in token of our gratitude to the Colonel of
that name, and it was worth many an abattis. The name of Archinard
was in fact a kind of double fetich, for it gave confidence to our own
men, and it inspired the Toucouleurs with superstitious terror. In the
French Sudan there is not a marabout, a soldier, or a sofa of
Samory, not a talibé of Amadu, not a friend nor an enemy of the
French who does not retain deeply graven upon his memory the
name of Colonel Archinard, for the present General will always be
the Colonel in Africa, the great Colonel whom, according to tradition,
no village ever resisted for a whole day.
So we managed that the news of the baptism of our Camp should
be spread far and near, and passed on from mouth to mouth till it
reached the ear of Amadu himself. No doubt he had some bad
dreams in consequence.
This moral defence, however, required to be supplemented by a
material one. Two hundred and twenty by forty-three yards is not a
very wide area for thirty-five people to live in, but it is far too big a
space to have to defend efficiently.
We felt it would be prudent to restrict the camp, properly so called,
to the northern point of the island, and taking six termitaries as points
of support, we placed abattis between them. Everything was ready to
our hands, branches, logs, brushwood, thorns, etc. We cut down the
trees at the lower end of the island, which cleared our firing range,
though it also rather spoiled the look of the landscape. We levelled
the site of our camp, razed many of the ant-hills to the ground, and
mounted our two guns, one pointing up-stream, on a huge trunk
which seemed to have been placed where it was on purpose, which
commanded the bank almost as far as Say itself, whilst the other
was placed on a big trunk which we drove firmly into the ground, and
would keep the people on the banks down-stream in awe. At each
gun sentries were always on guard. Then the unfortunate Aube was
unloaded, patched up somehow, provided with sixteen oars, and
armed with the machine-gun belonging to the Davoust, all ready to
advance to the attack or the defence whether to Say or to Dunga.
In a word, the urgent preliminary work was rapidly accomplished
in a very few days, and then in comparative security we began
building what the natives call the tata, that is to say, an earthwork
such as surrounds sedentary villages, or a fortified redoubt serving
as the residence of a chief.
Even if you had not been brought up a mason, you would very
soon become one in the Sudan; at least you will learn to build as the
negroes do. There are neither stones, lime, nor sand, nothing but
water and more or less argillaceous soil. With that you must make
bricks, mortar, and the mixture for graining, if graining you mean to
have. The clay is kneaded with the feet, and when it is ready, what
are called tufas are made of it, that is to say, flat or cylindrical bricks,
which the mason or baré places horizontally between two layers of
mortar. The baré sits astride on the wall he is building and chants the
same tune over and over again, whilst his assistants silently pass up
the tufas to him. I have noticed that all over the world masons and
tile-makers are as light-hearted as birds.
Our best mason in this case was a big Sarracolais named Samba
Demba, who generally acted as groom to our bicycle Suzanne.
When he was at work on the wall it grew apace, and we too grew
gay as we saw it rise, for with it increased our sense of security.
When the building went on well, we felt that everything else would
go well too.
Our tata was a triangular wall, each of the three sides being from
about eleven to sixteen yards long. It was thick enough to protect us
from treacherous shots from old-fashioned rifles, and indeed also
from the quick-firing weapons which the English had sold some time
ago to our enemy Samory. At a height of about six feet and a half
some forty loopholes were made, distributed about equally over the
three sides of the triangle formed by our wall. Inside, the walls were
supported by buttresses about three feet thick, which served alike as
seats and places in which to store our ammunition. The building
seemed likely to last well unless it should be disintegrated and
washed away in a tornado some day; breaches will of course be
made in it, parts of it will fall, but I expect, for a long time hence, its
ruins will bear witness to the stay here of the French expedition, and
to our effective occupation of the site.

FORT ARCHINARD.

I forget what king of Sego it was who rendered his tata

impregnable by making human corpses its foundation. In default of
such a precaution as this, which we refrained from taking, a few
determined men might at any moment have carried Fort Archinard
by assault, but they would have paid dearly for their success.
 On the summit of an ant-hill, at the top of the longest bamboo
stem we could find, we hoisted the French flag.
And in this remote island of Archinard, more than two hundred
leagues from any other European, we with our coolies lived for five
months, and made the French name, beneath the protection of the
French flag, respected in spite of old Amadu, in spite of the chief of
Say, and of all their intrigues against us; yes, in spite of all hostile
coalitions, in spite of the dreary rainy season, and of the home
sickness which consumed us,—in a word, in spite of everything.
The tata once constructed, we were now free to consider our
comfort a little, as we had really nothing better to do. Bluzet, who
had already acted as architect of the fort, undertook the building of
our huts. We each had our own palace, but what a simple palace! A
circular hollow rick of straw some 12 feet in diameter, upheld by a
central stake, interlaced stalks forming the framework of the roof,
whilst ropes were woven in and out of the straw, forming with it a
kind of net-work pattern. One little window was contrived in each hut,
a mere porthole just big enough to let in air and light but not rain,
whilst a low doorway was made on the opposite side to that from
which we might expect tornadoes.
Lastly, to protect us from stray bullets, a little earthen wall, some
19 inches high, was erected inside our huts, so that it just covered us
when we were lying full length at night. We each did our best to
make our own particular niche cosy and ship-shape; but in justice it
must be said that Baudry and I were the most successful, for we
achieved quite a brilliant result. Baudry’s straw walls were a perfect
museum of watches, instruments, medicines, patterns, objects for
exchange, and strangest of all—toads!
Father Hacquart’s hut was very soberly decorated. Sacred images
were nailed to the central stake, and in the little wall—I very nearly
said in a corner—was a cornet-à-piston, which was later the joy of
the chief of Bussa, but of which I own with the deepest regret we
never heard a single note.
 FORT ARCHINARD.

With Bluzet the keynote of the decorations was art. He had

draperies of velvet, a little faded and frayed perhaps, at nine-pence
or so a yard, with others of native manufacture. Dr. Taburet’s
speciality was medicine-bottles, with a horrible smell of iodoform, or,
to be more accurate, of all the disinfectants known to science, and
carefully protected in a tin case set on a what-not, a souvenir he
never parted with, and often gazed upon, the portrait of the lady he
was to marry on his return home.
Fili Kanté, a boy in the service of Bluzet, who was not only cook
but blacksmith and clown to the expedition, concocted a cocked hat
for each of our pointed huts, which after a few tornadoes had passed
over them were worn, so to speak, over one ear!
The huts of the men were all very much alike, but two on the side
of the longest wall were of course rather larger than the others, and
of a rectangular shape. Lastly, we had a big watertight store made, in
which we stowed away all our valuables. The canvas sail of the
foremast of the Aube fastened to the ground served as a kind of