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The Bear s Matchmaker Matchmaker 1

1st Edition Emilia Hartley


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Table of Contents

Title Page

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three
THE BEAR’S MATCHMAKER
Emilia Hartley
© Copyright 2018 by Blues Publishing. - All rights reserved.
The contents of this book may not be reproduced, duplicated
or transmitted without direct written permission from the author,
except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles
and reviews.

Legal Notice:
This book is copyright protected. This is only for personal use.
No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded or distributed via the
Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without the author’s
permission.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: This book is a work of fiction. The


names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s
imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be
construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual
events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental. The author
does not have any control over and does not assume any
responsibility for third-party websites or their content.
Chapter One

Ophelia Caldwell was not her real name, but the way he said it

made the words feel like an ugly stain on her skin. She might have

chosen the name for herself, but it became his upon his lips. The

man who’d once been a friend—a possible lover even—had become

an enemy. The Alpha bear stepped closer. The compassion in his

eyes felt fake, thin and flimsy. He reached for Lia, but she stepped

back from his touch.

The face Lia once thought roguishly handsome curled into an

ugly scowl. “All you have to do is make a choice. I’d like to think I’m

the easy choice. You wouldn’t have to worry about your safety.”

“But, I’d still have to worry about my freedom. What makes

you think I’d want to belong to any of you bears? I know what you

want me for.” Lia spat the words like spikes, hoping they would strike

him and force him back.

Unfortunately, she had no real power against the bear. His

human form echoed the grizzly that lived inside him, lending him a

massive form. His hands were like giant paws, and even if they

didn’t have claws, he could clench them and do just as much

damage.
“You would want for nothing with me,” he growled. Again, he

stepped into her space.

Lia backed up, her spine slamming into a tree trunk. A spike of

fear rocketed through her. It filled her with cold dread. This whole

situation was her fault. She never should have returned to the

ocean. She’d wanted to hear the crash of the waves against the

rocks, to breathe in the scent of salt in the air, but her longing made

it all too easy for the Alpha bears to track her. It was no mere

chance that Caz found her.

It was her own stupidity.

“What’s freedom when you could have anything you’ve ever

wanted?” His breath washed over her bare shoulder as he ducked

his head toward her. Once upon a time, this might have turned her

on. Now, it only made her shudder with revulsion. “One way or

another, I’ll have you as my bride.”

She laughed, the sound becoming barbed and bitter. “Not only

do you have two other Alpha bears to get through first, but you have

yet to find my sealskin.”

Again, his face twisted into a scowl. She saw the nearly

imperceptible flex of his shoulder right before he slammed his fist


into the tree behind her. Bark rained down over her head as she

tried her hardest not to flinch.

“I can’t find the damned thing because you hid it.”

“You don’t have to remind me.” Her skin crawled. Every

moment without her sealskin was torture.

It’d been too long since her last shift. Ever since the Alpha

bears began their hunt, she’d had to be more careful

Lia wished she’d never told Caz what she was. There’d been no

way for her to know her ancestors had made an agreement with the

alpha bears that gave control of the coast to whichever bear held a

selkie skin. But clearly Caz and the other alphas in the area had

known. As soon as they found out she was a selkie, they had started

this seemingly endless hunt.

Each Alpha bear had a different approach. They thought they

could coax the location of her hidden skin out of her while their

packs sought it. Caz thought he could buy her selkie skin from her.

His every step was volatile. Lia waited for the man to explode while

he tried to promise her the lap of luxury.

He leaned in. Afraid he might try to touch her, she ducked


under his arm. She spun around the tree. Putting it between them,

Lia sucked in a deep breath. The scent of the ocean lingered in the
air. It called to her, made her ache in ways Caz would never

understand.

“Ophelia,” he called out. “Things would be so much easier if

you would stop running. The bears aren’t going to stop until

someone owns you. If you would just choose one of us, this would

be over.”

She ran through the trees, her heart pounding as the ocean
opened ahead. Caz spoke as if there was only one outcome. Lia

refused to believe there was a future in which she wasn’t her own

person. There had to be another way. There had to be another

option.

She refused to be caught by these animals, only for them to

rule a strip of land. Their hearts would not be in it. Her body would

belong to them while her spirit broke.

No. Lia refused.

Caz caught up to her. He spun her around. His hands were

rough but didn’t hurt. Still, she reeled away from his touch. His lips

pressed together. He looked as though he wanted to say more. They

would never stop fighting. It wouldn’t end until she stopped it.

If this was a game they wanted to play, Lia could play it, too.
“Just stop this nonsense,” Caz pleaded. “Make a decision. Hand

over your skin.”

She backed away from him. Ahead of her was a future she did

not want. Behind her, the ocean lay beneath a rocky cliff. Salt filled

the air, clinging to their hair and skin. Caz looked at her with soft

eyes, his hand extended as if he truly expected his change of

behavior to win her over.

Her foot slipped. Rocks tumbled over the edge of the cliff. Caz’s

eyes widened. Below, waves crashed against the rocky shore. She

could feel the water’s movement like her own soul. It danced and

beckoned her.

She turned to Caz, letting a smile slip over her lips. This game

had only just begun, but she would win it one way or another.

Confusion passed over his face before she turned and leapt. Lia

trusted the ocean below. She could feel the water against rocks,

knew where to jump. As she broke the water, she arched her back.

Her fingertips brushed the soft, sandy bottom before she kicked

toward the surface.

As much as she missed her sealskin and the creature within it,

she also missed the ocean. The waters swirled around her, inviting

her to dance. Tendrils of seaweed tickled her legs. Fish darted from
her presence. She wished she could stay forever, an ache blooming

in her heart stronger than the fear she felt in Caz’s presence, but she

knew she would never be happy with one or the other. Either would

be living a half life.

Lia had spent too much time on land. Her heart belonged to

both civilization and the sea. While she hungered to crunch on tiny

fish fresh out of the water, she also knew she would forever crave

sweet lattes and late-night Netflix binges with her best friend. The

ocean was vast, and while she might not have much of a family on

land, it was still far more than what she might find in the ocean.

There was a chance she’d curse herself to a life of loneliness, unable

to find her pack, if she returned to the sea.

Her head broke the surface of the water, and she dragged in a

deep breath of salty air. Above her, Caz howled with anger. His roar

shook the rocks beneath her, but the water promised her safety.

These shores would belong to no one but her. She would see

to that.
Chapter Two

Miles carried a Styrofoam cup in one hand and a slick plastic

cup in the other. The iced coffee shed condensation in the summer

heat. It was nothing like what he was used to in San Diego County,

but the coffee couldn’t seem to handle it.

He regarded the closed door before him, entry to a basement

office, wondering how he would get it open with full hands, when it

flew open before him. His brows rose, and an instinctive smile

slipped over his lips. It was crooked and charming, the kind of smile

most people practiced in the mirror. It came naturally to Miles.

It was the kind of smile that could beguile a woman out of her

clothes, but it didn’t seem to have that effect on Ness. Usually all

smiles and bubbly cheer, Ness scowled at Miles’ presence. A growl of

frustration ripped through her before he could speak. She threw her

hands into the air, turned away from the door, and disappeared into

the house.

Miles entered and kicked the door closed behind him. Behind

him was a beautiful view of the ocean. Across from him, the walls of

the basement office were dotted with photos of smiling couples. No

two faces were the same, yet nearly every inch of the wall was
covered. He tore his gaze away from the besotted couples staring at

him and set the slippery plastic cup onto Ness’s desk.

She looked up, only acknowledging the iced coffee—not him.

“Oh, come on, Ness.” He poured charm into his voice. The

crooked smile returned, and he could feel the well of a dimple in his

cheek. He dropped into the sleek armchair across from her, but she

still ignored him.

He licked his lips and peered around, shifting uncomfortably.

Six months ago, he never would have believed it if someone told him

he’d be sitting in a matchmaker’s office begging for forgiveness. He

would have scoffed and called them out for bullshit. Yet, here he

was.

“I called your sister and told her the contract is over,” Ness said

without looking up. Her halo of bouncy curls masked her face.

He sighed. “For one thing, Thalia isn’t my sister. For another, I

said I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can do to appease you.”

Ness’ head shot up. Her green eyes burned behind her glasses.

Her lips tightened into a thin line. He thought she would launch

herself over the desk and wrap her tiny hands around his throat. She
was cute, he thought. She hid her breasts behind graphic tees and
cardigans but showcased her hips with A-line skirts. Her face was

the shape of a small heart, lips like a curved bow.

She felt his gaze sweep over her skin and snapped. “Miles Van

Tassel. You have destroyed my perfect matchmaking record. What

else do you want from me? I will not give you anything else to

destroy.”

He leaned forward in his seat. “Don’t look at it like that. I


haven’t destroyed anything, but… ah, given you a challenge instead!

Your job has been easy up until this point. Not everything can be

simple all the time. Why not shake it up? Make things a bit

interesting?”

Her lips flapped, searching for something to throw back at him.

Instead, her cheeks turned a dark shade of red and her lips snapped

shut. Miles wanted to save this arrangement. He hadn’t met this

many shifter women in his life. Each of them was different and

beautiful in their own right. He was enjoying it all too much.

It’d been clear that some of the women Ness had set him up

with were only looking for their fated mates, but others had been

more than willing to roll in the hay. Miles lost himself in those

women. Their bodies allowed him to forget, if only for a moment,

that he was an outcast drifting on his own.


He swallowed, shoving away his thoughts. He wouldn’t mourn

what happened. He refused to give it power over him. Miles was

better than that. Bears were solitary creatures, anyway. Right?

Ness grabbed the peace offering, AKA the iced coffee, and

sipped. The sugar must have sweetened her disposition because she

chewed her lip for a moment before finally nodding. “I’ll give you

one more chance, Miles. One. After that, don’t ever come to my

office again.”

He sucked his teeth. She didn’t mean it. He would tell her this

next woman didn’t work out and come right back for the next. He

would bring three iced coffees with him next time. Maybe some

flowers? He wasn’t sure. Honestly, his relationship with Ness was the

second longest relationship in his life.

The first was Thalia, the daughter of his old Alpha, and that

barely counted for anything.

Ness sighed. “Tell me again what kind of shifter you’re looking

for. Do you want another bear shifter? Maybe a lynx or I can see if

there are any dragons in the area.”

He caught the twinkle of mischief in her eye as she mentioned

dragon shifters. While she thought a male bear might not want to be

with a shifter whose creature was bigger than his, Miles wasn’t
above trying out a dragon shifter. It would be an interesting

experience.

“Whatever you can give me, baby.”

Ness rolled her eyes dramatically before reaching for another

sip of her coffee. With each drag of the straw, her demeanor

improved as if the caffeine gave her life. Ness was a shifter, too.

Miles wondered if Nessa gulped down copious amounts of coffee to


keep her nocturnal beast awake during the day. Matchmaking didn’t

pay the bills, and Nessa’s regular job kept the sleepy cat from dozing

through her day job.

“Don’t call me baby.” Her lips twisted with disgust.

He laughed. Ness wasn’t for him, and he didn’t want to ruin

the friendship they were building. It wasn’t often that he came

across a shifter outside of the domain of a pack. Monterey had a few

and Miles wanted to get to know them all.

Even if bears were supposed to be solitary creatures, Miles had

grown up as part of a Pack. While he was no longer in that Pack, he

still craved the company it’d offered. He should have had Ness add

that to his profile. Women would have melted over it. They would

have called him sweet.


“You’re despicable,” Ness said, as if reading his mind. “I can’t

believe you’re still trying to trash my record. I’ve been doing this for

five years now and not once have I screwed up. Then, you breeze

into my life and now I’m zero for—what? Ten? This is disgraceful. My

ratings are going to fall.”

“It’s not like you’re a certified business. You don’t’ have a Yelp

page where people can write horrid reviews.”

“I’ll have you know that word of mouth is more than enough!”

He shrugged. “I don’t think any of the girls you hooked me up

with left unhappy.”

“Like I said, despicable.”

Miles leaned back in his seat and set his feet on Ness’s desk.

Through the haze of her curls, she turned a piercing glare on him.

Miles only smiled wider. The world could be his with enough charm.

It was something he learned early on.

His family had been low in the Pack, firmly placing Miles into a

submissive position the moment he was born. Over the years, and a

number of incidents at school, he learned to smile and laugh his way

out of situations. With no money to their name for a proper college


education, Miles turned his sights on the Pack.
With strength and charm, Miles climbed his way through the

Pack. Along the way, he forged contacts and amassed power. He’d

been good at it, so good that his Alpha thought Miles should marry

his daughter. Miles had worked hard for himself and never thought

his Alpha would be able to take that away, but with one word he’d

crushed Miles.

He’d wanted to do better than what he’d come from, to revel

in the power and popularity. Instead, he’d been rewarded with a

binding contract. The moment he saw a way out of it, when Thalia

mated a wolf shifter from the other side of the country, Miles

thought he’d finally won. Instead, his Alpha had not responded

kindly.

“You look like you might murder someone. Do me a favor and

don’t look at your matches like that.” Ness turned back to the filing

cabinet of folders, but not before casting a concerned look at Miles.

He shrugged, casting aside the anger that had consumed him

for a moment. That anger would do him no good. It muddled his

brain and held him in the past. That wasn’t where he wanted to live.

Miles would always look forward.

Returning to the moment, he caught Ness pausing over an

open dossier. She chewed the tip of her thumb, a habit he’d noticed
her doing more and more each time he visited. He leaned forward,

gingerly pulling her hand away from her mouth. Her wide and soft

eyes were almost enough to make him melt before they narrowed at

him. She smacked his hand, bringing a laugh to his lips.

“What do you have for me, Ness?”

She hesitated. Ness glanced between him and the folder, lips

parted. “I’m not sure if this is a good idea, but I’m at my wit’s end.”

Her words caught his attention. Leaning forward in his seat, he

peered at the document in her lap. The photo pinned to the folder

gripped his heart and squeezed. Breathing became harder the longer

he studied the woman looking back at him. Her hair was a dusky

brown and cascaded past her shoulders, but it was her nearly black

eyes that stopped him. They seemed to penetrate him through the

lens of the camera, digging into his heart and laying bare everything

he feared.

The word no hung on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t say

it. Fear was sharp, yet brief. Miles smiled past it and let Ness hand

him the dossier without a single complaint. What was there to fear?

It was just one woman. He would let Ness set up the date, meet her,

and probably never see her again.


Ness glared at him as if she could read his train of thought.

“She’s… well, she’s a friend of mine.”

“Don’t worry,” he said while saluting with the folder. “I don’t

plan on breaking any hearts.”

Ness let out an empty laugh. “I’m more worried about you,

playboy.”

He feigned being shot in the heart. “Your words wound me.”

“Liar.”

He left Ness to chug the rest of her coffee in peace. She had

her day job to prepare for, like everyone else. Outside, he lingered in

his car, scanning the folder she’d given him. Ness claimed the black-

eyed woman was a friend. This was the one, he realized, that would

destroy his friendship with Ness.

Miles had no plans of finding a mate, like Thalia wanted for

him. She was happy with her husband in Virginia, but he never

asked for that kind of life. His days were not metered by the needs

of another. He could wake and do as he pleased after spending a

night with a woman. He did not want someone to bind him the way

his Alpha had tried to do.

Perhaps he should have let Ness stop. He should have told her

no. The allure of shifter women meant not having to hide one’s
strength or one’s animal, but there were other ways to find attractive

women.

Miles told himself he would stand this date up. There was no

use in seeing her.


Chapter Three

Lia, curled into the window seat of a café, checked over the

folder her adopted sister, a matchmaker, had given her. The air

smelled of chocolate hazelnut spread and toasted crepes, making

her stomach grumble. She flipped through the thin dossier before

stopping to study the small photo clipped inside.

His grin was dangerous, the kind that said he knew how

gorgeous he was. The man truly looked like he’d been carved from

marble by angels. His jaw was clean and square, cheekbones high

and sharp as they held up soft blue-green eyes. There was a small

scar on his left cheek, a faint white line that marred his tan skin. He

looked like he’d come straight out of Hollywood. The more she

flipped through his dossier, she realized she was nearly correct. Miles

Van Tassel had moved to the Monterey area a few weeks ago.

Then she saw another line of information and groaned. Before

she could get up and leave, a bell rang over the door. Her head

snapped up and her body froze. The man carved from marble stood

in the doorway, even more attractive in person.

She glanced down at the dossier in her lap. The words bear

shifter were emblazoned beneath his name. She did not want to deal
with another alpha bear. Vanessa made a mistake. Lia dropped her

head and hoped the man would pass her over, even if her heart

pounded at the sight of him. It was fear, she told herself. Bears were

nothing but trouble.

In the morning, she would return to Ness and make it clear.

She couldn’t deal with bears. They were greedy and controlling.

Nature had given them strength and it seemed to have gone to their

heads. So far, she hadn’t met a bear shifter that didn’t think the very

ground he walked upon belonged to him. Maybe she could find a

nice wolf shifter. Even a leopard shifter was better than this.

Before she could disappear unnoticed, the bear shifter found

her. Seeing him in person revealed the tattoos that wrapped his

arms. Black and gray ink depicted old portraits around his bicep,

family perhaps. His forearm was emblazoned with bright shades of

blue and white, a flailing shark in the center of a crashing wave. The

water tattoo made her smile, and she wanted to touch it. Would she

hear the siren call of the ocean when she set her fingers against it?

His face split with that charming smile and her body refused to

move. It rooted her to the spot. Her heart flipped inside her chest. It

was such a strange feeling, one that made her feel as though she
were floating out of her chair. She gripped the seat if only to make

sure she didn’t hit the ceiling.

“You must be Ophelia,” the man said. He stuck out his hand,

but when she reached to shake it, he dipped his head and laid a

small kiss on her knuckles. It was feather-light, nothing more than a

graze of his lips. Still it made her head light and fuzzy.

She didn’t stand. She wasn’t sure she could tame her legs long
enough. Instead, Lia fidgeted with the dossier in her lap, slipping it

into the bag at her feet before he could see it. She wasn’t sure why

she was embarrassed. Maybe because she’d always told Ness she’d

never sign on to her frilly matchmaking program.

Lia never had any interest in love. She’d been in love with the

world, with the sound of the ocean off the pier and the videogames

she could play on her phone. Lia had been content to live a quiet life

filled with small pleasures.

Instead, she’d been found by a bear shifter, and then the world

had blown up in her face. More Alphas found her address and

hounded her day and night for the small stretch of land she

represented. It was no wonder most selkies never dared step foot on

land.
For a moment, she wondered what would have happened if it’d

been a male selkie who walked ashore. Would the Alpha bears be

bothering him as much as they bothered her?

“Ophelia?” Miles tried again. He half turned away from her, as

if unsure if he’d found the right place. “You are Ophelia, right?”

She shook herself out of her thought and offered a small smile.

“Yeah. Sorry. Miles, isn’t it?”

He slapped a hand over his heart and let out a sigh, his lips

still curled into a smile. He dropped into the chair across from her.

His body assumed a position that offered her the best view of his

body. Arm slung over the back of his chair, it opened his shoulders

and showcased the wide muscles of his chest.

Lia couldn’t help but look. He drew her eyes like a piece of fine

art, and the smile on his lips said he knew it. This was the kind of

man who attracted everyone around him, man or woman. He oozed

charm and used it to his advantage. Lia wasn’t sure how she felt

about it, but she wasn’t above looking while he was there.

“I was looking it over, but your, uh, file,” Miles began. He

glanced at the man prepping crepes a few feet away to make sure

he was out of earshot before speaking in a hushed tone, “It states

your shifter animal as unknown.”


She picked at the strawberries inside her crepe. Her appetite

had disappeared the moment his question entered the air. She’d

begged her friend not to add it to the file. If more Alpha shifters

could see it, there would always be more trouble.

She glanced up through her lashes and wondered what made

her friend think this guy would be right for her. Sure, he was a

steaming package of sexiness, but a bear? Ness must have been out

of her damned mind.

Then realization struck Lia. Ness knew the game she was

playing. If anything, Ness played it well. Her matchmaking streak

was unbroken until a recent customer. If Ness had a plan, Lia had to

try trusting her. At least, for a little while. She would stick around

and see if this bear could protect her from the others.

“I didn’t think it was important. What’s one shifter from

another?” She played it off, shrugging and trying to keep a smile on

her lips even though her heart was racing.

His brows folded together. He leaned forward, as if thinking.

“That’s not exactly true. Each shifter has a bit of their animal inside

them. It makes them a bit different from one another if you think

about it.”
She sucked her teeth. No, she didn’t think about it. There was

no animal voice in her head anymore. Not since she’d hidden her

skin. But, she couldn’t exactly tell him that. She barely knew him.

“Wolf shifters tend to like bigger families. It isn’t just about

their mate, but their connection to a pack for them. Then, there are

some like myself. Bears don’t do well in big groups.”

She snorted. “Tell that to the Alphas around here.”

He cocked his head and leaned back, arm slung over the back

of his chair again. His body seemed to fall into poses, the perfect

position to showcase all that he had to offer. Did he do that on

purpose, or was it instinctual? She couldn’t tell.

“There are three alphas along the coast. All three of them are

bear shifters. Caz Frost controls the Monterey area. Nikolai Wilder

controls inland and Oscar Torres runs Santa Cruz.”

Even though she’d explained herself, his brow deepened. “Ness

said you didn’t run with a pack. You’d chosen not to. If you don’t run

with them, how do you know all three?”

There was innuendo in his voice. The confusion he held in his

brows slackened before he wiggled them suggestively.

She shoved her chair back. It screeched along the tile floor.

This was a bad idea. She would have to find another way to protect
herself. If it came to it, she would have to give up the human life she

was trying to cling to. It was foolish and selfish to think that she

could use another shifter as a shield anyway.

“Wait,” Miles shot out of his seat. He held his hands up. “I’m

sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It was a mistake. Alright?”


Chapter Four

Miles couldn’t bear the idea of her running out on him. Gone

was the fear he’d felt grip him the day before. Ness had truly

outdone herself this time. The woman she’d set him up with was on

another level. Her beauty was otherworldly. She pinned him with

inky, black eyes that were incredibly hard to read. He could see

nothing in them, neither anger nor humor, and it intrigued him.

She cut an alluring figure, as well. She rocked a subtle

hourglass figure with breasts perfectly-sized for his palms. He could

easily bury himself in the plush width of her hips. Behind her, dark

hair hung to the curve of her ass. Miles wanted to know what it felt

like between his fingers. Would it feel like silk, like water? He

lowered his hands and jammed them into his pockets to keep from

touching her.

He jerked his head toward the door. “How about we go for a

walk? That sound okay?”

She looked to the door, as if debating his suggestion. It was

hard to tell what she was thinking. He waited for her to storm out on

him. He’d been an ass to suggest that she’d slept with all three of

the Alphas in the area. That was low, even for him.
Another random document with
no related content on Scribd:
alguno y nos pusiesse en el
mundo donde residia entonçes el
Consejo real. Lo qual hizo con
gran diligençia, que al presente
residia en Valladolid. Y vn dia de
mañana procuramos presentar la
petiçion en el Consejo de la
Inquisiçion de su magestad y vista
por los del Consejo nos
respondieron que se veria y
proueeria lo neçesario y que
conueniesse; y andando por
algunos de aquellos señores por
hablarlos en sus casas nos
dezian que era escusado esperar
prouision, porque hallauan que si
quitassen estas superfluidades de
las sçiençias no se podria el
mundo conseruar, porque los
sabios y maestros no ternian que
enseñar, y por el consiguiente no
podrian ganar de comer.
Miçilo.—Espantado estoy de ver
quanto mejor obedeçen los
diablos que los hombres.
Gallo.—Y ansi[841] como vimos
que yua la cosa tan a la larga lo
dexamos de seguir, y el mi angel
como me hubo guiado en toda
esta xornada me dixo: mira,
Menipo, yo he hecho este camino
por tu contenplacion, por quitarte
de pena; que bien sabía yo en lo
que auia de parar. Agora te quiero
dezir la suma de mi intinçion.
Sabe que el mejor y más seguro
estado de los hombres en el
mundo es de los ydiotas, simples
populares que passan la vida con
prudençia. Por lo qual dexate de
oy más de gastar tienpo en la
vana consideracion de las cosas
altas y que suben de tu
entendimiento, y dexa de inquirir
con especulaçion los fines y
prinçipios y causas de las cosas.
Menospreçia y aborreçe estos
vanos y cautelosos sylogismos
que no son otra cosa sino vurla y
vanidad sin prouecho alguno,
como lo has visto por esperiençia
en esta xornada y peregrinaje; y
de aqui adelante solamente sigue
aquel genero de vida que te tenga
en las cosas que de presente
posees lo mejor ordenado que a
las leyes de virtud puedas; y
como sin demasiada curiosidad ni
soliçitud en alegria y plazer
puedas vibir más sosegado y
contento; y ansi el mi angel me
dexó y yo desperte como de vn
graue y profundo sueño[842]
espantado de lo mucho que auia
visto como te lo he narrado por el
orden que has oydo y yo mejor he
podido.
Miçilo.—¡O gallo! Dios te lo
agradezca el plazer y honrra que
me has hecho en[843] tu
feliçissima narraçion. De oy más
no quiero otro maestro, otro
philosopho, ni[844] otro sabio
consejero que a tí para passar el
discurso de la vida que me queda,
y ruegote que no me dexes, que
juntos passaremos aqui nuestra
vida; que segun me dizes es la
más segura, segun tengo
entendido por tu esperiençia[845].
Gallo.—Ya te he contado, Miçilo,
hasta agora mi dichosa y
admirable peregrinaçion, en la
qual por su espanto y terribilidad
te he tenido suspenso y algo
desasosegado, segun he
hechado de ver[846]; por lo qual
de oy más te quiero contar cosas
graçiosas y suaues, con que en
donayre y plazer passes mejor el
trabajo del dia. Ofreçesseme;
quiero te contar agora vn suaue y
graçioso conbite; vna opulenta y
admirable copiosidad de vna
missa nueua, en que siendo
clerigo en vn tiempo me hallé.
Dezirte he tanto regocijo de
aquellos clerigos, tanto canto,
tanto vayle, tanta alegría que no
se puede encareçer más; y
despues dezirte he vna fragosa y
arriscada tragedia que calentando
el vino las orejas de los abbades
suçedio. Confio que con esto
soldarás el espanto en que te he
puesto hasta aqui. Agora abre la
tienda, que en el canto que se
sigue lo prosiguire.
Fin del deçimo sexto canto del
gallo.
NOTAS:
[816] G., podeis.
[817] G., tanto.
[818] G., oyeren.
[819] G., mi desuentura.
[820] G., graçiosa.
[821] G., antes.
[822] G., atormentaua.
[823] G., salí.
[824] G., verle tan amargamente llorar su.
[825] G., estaua en su real.
[826] G., forçada.
[827] G., y.
[828] G., hauian.
[829] G., Françisco françes.
[830] G., que no.
[831] G., le.
[832] G., respondi.
[833] G., mejorado.
[834] G., condenados.
[835] G., ahumana.
[836] G., frequentauan mucho los.
[837] G., chançelleria.
[838] G., adelantarse a otros enobleçiendose.
[839] G., ouo.
[840] G., numidas.
[841] G., Pues.
[842] sueño muy profundo.
[843] G., con.
[844] G., más.
ARGUMENTO
DEL DEÇIMO
SEPTIMO CANTO
DEL GALLO

En el deçimo septimo canto que


se sigue el auctor imitando a
Luçiano en el dialogo llamado
Conuiuiun philosophorum,
sueña auerse hallado en vna
misa nueua, en la qual
descriue grandes
aconteçimientos que entre
clerigos en ella passaron[847].

Miçilo.—Despierta, gallo, que


pareçe ser hora para que con tu
promesa me restituyas en mi
pristina alegria, porque el
peregrino y nueuo proçeso y
manera de dezir de tu prodigiosa
narraçion infernal me tiene tan
espantado que por ninguna
contraria manera de dezir pienso
poder boluer en mí para oyr y
hablar con mi primera libertad; y
es ansi qve aunque por su
admiraçion el cuento mueue a
atençion contina hazesse más
estimar quando se considera el
credito que se deue a tu ser por
auer sido çelestial. Porque no
pareçe ni se puede dezir que solo
me le has contado por darme
deletaçion, como hazen los
fabulosos inuentores de mentiras
en las prestigiosas y
monstruosas [848] narraçiones que
escriuen solo por agradar y dar a
los lectores oçiosos con que el
tiempo se pueda entretener[849]
aunque sea con vana ocupaçion.
Porque me dizen que han sido
muchos philosophos auctores de
semejantes obras; como Cthesias
y Jamblico[850]; de los quales el
vno ha escripto cosas admirables
de las Indias; y el otro del mar
oçeano[851] sin que ninguno
dellos huuiesse visto, ni en algun
auctor leydo cosa de las que cada
qual dellos escriuió. Pero fue tan
grande su eloquençia y admirable
manera de dezir que quanto
quiera que manifiestamente
escriuian[852] fiçion, por escreuir
en aquel estilo hizieron graçiosa y
estimada su obra. Otros dizen
que ha hauido que con ingenio
espantoso han contado de si
grandes viajes y peregrinaciones,
fiereza de vestias y diuersidad de
tierras y costunbres de hombres,
sin auer ninguna cosa de las que
descriuen en el mundo, que[853]
por la dulçura de hablar[854] los
han tenido en veneraçion. Como
aquel ingenioso inuentor[855]
Homero escriuió de su Ulixes
auer visto animales, y gigantes
monstruosos Poliphemos con solo
vn ojo en la frente que se
tragauan los hombres enteros y
vibos; y esto sin los auer
engendrado hasta oy naturaleza.
Desto estoy bien seguro yo que tú
no imitas a estos en tu passada
historia, porque no es de presumir
que infames los çelicolas como tú
con[856] mentirosa narraçion. Por
tanto despierta y prosigue que yo
te oyré. Cuentame aquella
sangrienta batalla, aquel suçeso
canpal que ayer me
propusiste[857] dezir, pues de tu
promesa no te puedes excusar.
Gallo.—Por çierto Miçilo, mucho
estoy arrepentido en auerte
propuesto esa sacrilega tragedia,
pues en ella hago ser publicos los
desatinos tan excesiuos que el
vinático furor causó en aquellos
religiosos juizios y habito
saçerdotal, lo qual más conuenia
ser callado y sepultado en el
profundo del oluido por auer
aconteçido en personas que
auian de ser exemplo de
templança, prudençia y
honestidad: antes que ser yo
agora relactor de las deshonestas
y desuariadas furias que
passaron entre su beber. Mal
pareçe dar yo ocasion con mi
lengua a que auiendo tú plazer te
rias y mofes de aquella
consagrada caterua que está en
la tierra en lugar de la diuina
magestad[858]. De manera que si
yo me huuiere flaca y friamente
en el persuadir y demostrar este
aconteçimiento corro peligro en
mi persona de tiuio orador; y
quando por el contrario en el
encareçer y esaxerar me
mostrare eloquente será para
más augmentar tu risa y mofa,
haziendo en mayor infamia de
aquella religiosa gente. Por tanto
mira, Miçilo, si es más
conueniente a hombre bien
acostumbrado como tú dexar de
inportunarme que te cuente
semejantes aconteçimientos;
porque a mí me pareçe ser
obligado a los callar.
Miçilo.—¡O gallo! quiero que
sepas que quanto más niegas mi
petiçion tanto más augmentas en
mí el deseo de te lo oyr. Por lo
qual proçediendo en la costumbre
de nuestra buena conuersaçion y
tu graçioso dezir podras
començando luego ganar el
tienpo que se podria con la
dilaçion perder.
Gallo.—Agora, pues ansi quieres
y tanto me importunas yo te
quiero obedeçer: pero con vna
condiçion, que con juramento te
tengo de ligar á ella; y es que no
se ha de[859] publicar fuera de
aqui.
Miçilo.—Agora comiença, que yo
lo prometo, que no sea[860] más
publico por mí, ni seré causa que
otro lo sepa. Dime por orden
todas las cosas: qué fue la
causa[861] de la cena[862]: y qué
personas fueron alli en el combite,
y que passó en el suçeso.
Gallo.—Pues començando por el
prinçipio sabras que la causa fue
vna misa nueua: porque
Aristeneto cambiador, hombre
rico, tiene[863] vn hijo que se
llama[864] Zenon: hombre
estudioso y sabio, como sabes, el
qual[865] por tener ya edad
conueniente para elegir estado
vino a cantar misa y para esto el
padre de su parte combidó todos
sus parientes, vezinos y amigos,
juntamente con sus mugeres, y
Zenon[866] misa cantano de la
suya[867] llamó a todos sus
preceptores que auian sido de las
sçiençias, gramatica, logica,
philosophia y theologia, y
despues con estos combidó a
todos los curas y benefiçiados
casi desta çiudad que eran en
gran copia[868] y con estos auia
dos religiosos de cada orden.
Miçilo.—Yo nunca vi conpañia de
tanto santidad.
Gallo.—Pues viniendo al
proçeso del aconteçimiento[869]
sabras que el dia señalado que
fue vn domingo primero de mayo,
que es el mes más apacible y
graçioso a todos,[870] conuenimos
luego por la mañana todos los
combidados a casa de Aristeneto
para acompañar a Zenon hasta el
templo; fuemos con gran
çelebridad[871] de cançion de
clerigos, y gran musica de
instrumentos, laud, de arco, rabel,
vihuela, psalterio, y otras
agraciadas sonajas que tañian
hombres que para semejantes
autos se suelen alquilar. Quando
fue acabada aquella diuina
celebraçion de la missa, con el
orador que con ingenio discantó
el merito y grandeça de la
dignidad, y ofreçimos todos al
misa cantano, nos boluimos[872]
juntos con la mesma musica a
casa de Aristeneto. Donde
despedidos aquellos que solo
fueron conbidados para el
acompañamiento, se llegó
Aristineto a mi y a la oreja me
dixo que me quedasse a comer
allá[873] con él. Dios sabe quanto
me holgué, porque çierto que
sobraua en mi casa la raçion;
prinçipalmente porque despues
que en el templo ofreçi no fue
mucho lo que en la bolsa me
quedó. Fuemos lançados todos a
vn gran palaçio muy adornado y
dispuesto para el conbite. En el
qual auia dos messas a la larga
de la sala, la vna que yua a la vna
pared, y otra por otra. En la
frontera de la sala yua vna[874]
messa como cabeçera de las
otras dos, en la qual se sento en
el medio Zenon[875] tomando a su
mano derecha a su padre
Aristeneto; y a la izquierda[876]
estaua su padrino que era aquel
Cleodemo, antiguo y honrado
varon que fue cura del abogado
de las estrenas[877] San Julian.
Miçilo.—¡O qué monarcha y
prinçipe de saçerdotes me has
contado!
Gallo.—A los lados ocupauan
esta mesa de la cabeçera, a la
vna mano el guardian y
compañero de San Françisco y á
la otra el Prior de Sancto
Domingo con vn[878] conpañero
de grande[879] auctoridad. En la
mesa de la mano derecha se
sentaron[880] por orden los
maestros de Zenon y clereçia que
fuemos[881] muchos en numero; y
a la otra mano se sentaron los
casados, cada qual con su muger;
y quando fuemos todos sentados
començaronse las mesas a seruir
con grande abundançia de frutas
del tiempo.
Miçilo.—¿Pues entre los dos
perlados de San Françisco y
Sancto Domingo no uvo
differençia sobre la mano a que
cada qual se auia de sentar.
Gallo.—Mucho antes se consultó
con ellos y diffinió. Entre los dos
curas de Sanctesidro y San
Miguel uvo un poco de contienda;
porque preferiendo Aristeneto en
el asiento el de Sanctesidro al de
San Miguel por su mayor
antiguedad[882] se leuantó en pie
el de San Miguel porque era
preçeptor de Gramática y
presumia de philosopho y dixo: sy
a ti, Aristeneto, te pareçe que el
cura de Sanctesidro se ha de
preferir a mí, engañaste; y por no
lo consentir me voy y os dexo
libre el combite. Porque avnque él
sea viejo por dos razones se me
deue a mí la uentaja, pues dize
Salomon que canas muy antiguas
son[883] en el hombre el saber
quanto quiera que sea moço, y
ansi tomó por la mano su
mochacho y començó a fingir
querer caminar y luego el cura de
Sanctesidro dixo: nunca plega a
Dios que por mí dexes de te
holgar; y apartandose afuera le
hizo lugar en la delantera y él se
sentó[884] atrás.
Miçilo.—Conuenieron presto
esos dos por gozar.
Gallo.—Fue a todos ocasion de
gran risa, y no se podiendo[885]
sufrir Zenothemo maestro de
Philosophia[886] dixo en alta voz
ser aquello exemplo de la figura
Antiptosis isteron proteron[887] de
lo qual todos aduertiendo se
rieron mas[888].
Miçilo.—Pues entre los casados
¿no se ofrecio cosa que
pudiesses notar?
Gallo.—Los casados solamente
tenian ojo y atençion en aquellos
hombres sabios y religiosos, su
ambiçion, su puesto, hablar,
beber y comer y conuersaçion; en
fin, todos aquellos seglares se
fingian tener cuenta con el plato,
pero más la tenian con lo que
entre los clerigos passaua[889].
Porque como todos al prinçipio
començamos a comer de aquellos
sabrosos y bien aparejados
manjares, todos mirauamos al
cura de San Miguel que todo
quanto delante le seruian lo daua
al mochacho que tenía junto[890] a
si, pensando que ninguno lo via, y
el mochacho lo echaua en vna
talega. El comia con insaçiable
agonia y lançaua en los pechos y
fatriguera medias limas y
naranjas, y algunas guindas que
andauan rodando[891] por la
messa.
Daua a mochacho piernas de
perdiz y de pato; pedaços de vaca
y de carnero, y algunos suelos de
pasteles[892] y pedaços de pan y
torta. Diole pañizuelo, la copa en
que bebia; hasta el cuchillo y el
salero le dio. Desto reyan todos
los casados y sus mugeres, que
les era muy gran pasatiempo.
Estando pues todos ocupados en
esto con gran solaz y deleyte,
porque ya auia llegado de mano
en mano hasta la mesa de
Aristeneto y missa cantano que
mucho se reyan dello, suçedio
que entró por la puerta de la sala
Alçidamas cura de San Nicolas,
sin ser llamado, y puesto en
medio de todos[893] el rostro a
Zenon y a Aristeneto su padre
dixo: señores, perdonadme que
no vengo más temprano a vuestro
plazer porque agora disiendo la
misa mayor a mis perrochanos,
saliendo[894] a ofreçer en mi
iglesia me dixo vn feligres mio
que haciades esta fiesta; y ansi
luego me apresuré, que no tardé
en lo que restaua de la misa vn
momento; que casi no me
vagaua[895] desnudarme la
casulia por venir a honrraros por
ser tan vuestro amigo; que los
tales no emos de aguardar á ser
combidados, pero sin ser
llamados vengamos[896] de los
primeros.
Miçilo.—Por çierto cosa digna de
risa me cuentas.
Gallo.—Cada qual le començó a
dezir su donayre dando a
entender su desuerguença; pero
él lo disimuló por gozar del
combite; porque luego acudió
Aristeneto encareçiendo su buena
amistad y acusando su descuydo
y el de su hijo pues de combidarle
se auian oluidado, y ansi le
mandó dar vna silla y que se
sentasse en aquellas mesas
junto[897] aquellos hombres
reuerendos y honrrados[898].
Alçidamas era vn mançebo
grande, membrudo, robusto y de
grandes fuerças; y ansi como le
pussieron delante la silla
arroxandola [899] lexos de sí que
casi la quebrara[900] y diera con
ella al cura de Santispiritus y dixo
que las dueñas y hombres
regalados se auian de sentar a
comer en silla, que[901] vn hombre
moço y robusto como él, que por
alli queria comer passeandose; y
que si acaso se cansasse, que él
se sentaria en aquella tierra sobre
su capa. Respondiole Aristeneto:
anssi sea pues te plaze. Todo
esto hazia Alçidamas mostrando
querer regoçijar la fiesta y dar
plazer a los combidados
pensando él de si mesmo ser
graçioso fingiendose loco y
beodo; y ansi Alçidamas
rodeó[902] en pie[903] todas las
mesas mirando por los mejores
manjares, como lo hazen los
musicos chocarreros en los
combites de fiesta. Ansi comia
Alçidamas donde más le plazia si
via cosa que bien le pareçiesse a
su apetito, mezclandose con
aquellos que seruian las copas y
manjares, y como a las vezes se
aprouechasse de las copas que
estauan llenas en la messa, y
otras[904] vezes de las que
passauan en el seruicio,
hallauase beber doblado; y ansi
con el vino demasiado començó a
más salir de sí. Dezia maliçias y
atreuimientos en todos los que en
el combite estauan. A Hermon,
cura de Sancto Thome dixo que a
cabo de su vejez echasse la
mançeba de casa que tenía diez
años auia so color de moça; y a
Eucrito, cura de San Dionisio,
dixo que si pensaua lleuar al otro
mundo los çien ducados que tenía
dados a Aristeneto a cambio.
Mofaua de aquellas copas de
plata, mesas, sillas, tapiçes y
grande aparato llamando a
Aristeneto el gran[905] vsurero;
engrandeçiale con maliçia su
grande injenio y industria pues
por su buena soliçitud tenía por el
cambio[906] tan grande hazienda y
riquezas auiendo sido poco antes
muy pobre. Y Aristeneto ya
mohino y afrontado que
lastimauan los donayres mandó a
dos criados suyos que le
tomassen y echassen fuera de
casa y çerrassen las puertas
porque no los afrontasse más.
Pero como Alçidamas lo sintio
apartóse a vn lado y con vn vanco
que estaua vaçio juró que le
quebraria en la cabeça del que
llegasse; y ansi de consejo de
todos fue que agora le dexassen,
esperando tiempo más oportuno
para hazer la pressa neçesaria.
Pero de cada momento se fue
empeorando, diziendo injurias a
los frayles, y despues passando a
los casados los afrontaua
vituperandolos[907] en sus
mugeres; dijo delante del rico
Menedemo a su muger que quién
le auia dado más faldrillas,
Demócrito, cambiador, su amigo,
ó Menedemo su marido. De lo
qual la dama se afrontó mucho, y
Menedemo reçibio grande injuria;
y ansi Aristeneto, pensandolo
remediar y que le haria su amigo
mandole dar muy bien a beber,
por que pensó que ansi no le
afrontaria más y por esta causa
mandó a vn criado suyo[908] que
tomasse vna gran copa de vino
añejo y muy puro y se la diesse,
no pensando que fuera ocasion
de mayor mal, como fue. Pero
tomando Alçidamas el vaso con
ambas manos porque era grande
se boluio con él a la mesa de los
casados y en alta voz dijo, que
todos con silençio le quisieron
oyr: señora Magençia, muger de
nuestro huesped Aristeneto, y
madre de Zenon nuestro misa
cantano: yo bebo a ty, y mirad,
señora, que aueis de beber otro
tanto del vaso que yo bebiere so
pena que no lo cunpliendo no
ayas más hijo; y si lo cumplieres,
por la bendiçion de mi San
Nicholas, auras un hijo fuerte
gentil hombre sabio como yo; y
alçando la copa bebió della casi
vn azumbre y luego estendiendo
el braço la daua a Magençia
diziendo que si no bebia que

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