Module: APY1502

Semester: 1
Assignment: 10
Unique Assignment Number: 807474
Name: Ms. Zuraydah Dyson
Student Number: 47670975
 Contents

Essay Plan

Final Essay

Bibliography

Declaration
 Essay Plan

Intro
This will highlight points to be discussed:
- Sex, Gender and Sexuality defined
- Romantic love, Love and sex
- Monogamy and Polyamory
- Feminism pornography, sex work and sex positivity

Body
- Sex, Gender and Sexuality defined
- Romantic love, Love and sex
- Monogamy and Polyamory
- Feminism pornography, sex work and sex positivity

Conclusion
Summarising points discussed in the Essay.
 Final Essay – Love, Sex and Society in the 21st century
“The purpose of Anthropology is to make the world safe for human differences.” 1 It could
be said that we live in a time where these changes has never been more evident. Love and
sex in the 21st century has become broader topics of discussion and focus. In the essay that
follows my independent views on these terms will be addressed. These categories also have
many underlying points of emphasis, including sexuality, sex, gender, romantic love, love,
feminism and various understandings on sexual related activities. I will touch on these
concepts to engage with these factors and how it is viewed in the 21 st century.
Understanding Sex, Gender and Sexuality
My understanding of sex, gender and sexuality stems from my personal and cultural
influences. Sex is made up of biological traits that categorises male and female.2 In delving
into various definitions the lines that separate male and female becomes blurred. In the 21 st
century much has been questioned and unpacked in further understanding what sex and
gender means within various cultures and societies.
Sexuality speaks to one’s sexual preferences being heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual,
queer or other. It could be argued that this concept speaks to an individual’s sexual identity.
3 In my view sexuality is complex, depending on factors such as the society in which one is

reared, your personal belief system and innate preference for a particular sex. In the
21century it is more acceptable to be homosexual than it was years ago in the West,
although there are still many communities that look down upon this concept. It could be
said that heterosexuality is still viewed as the ‘norm’. In many societies and certain religions
being gay is still frowned upon. An individual or group should not get to determine an
individual‘s sexual orientation, as with Queen Victoria in the 1800’s who coined what was
deemed ‘natural’ during her time, being heterosexuality. 4It should be mentioned that
although there still remains struggles for acceptance there are also a possible shift in
thinking in favour of LGBT people.
Monogamy
According to an article by Gould, ‘Love without monogamy’, we still live in a monogamous
age. The practice of a single relationship is still dominant in comparison to Polyamory. She
also mentions that there is a relationship between marriage and the state, with the latter
previously and still in today’s age placing monogamous marriages in high regard. 5 Her views
are interesting in that she makes certain keys points, such as establishing that love precedes
marriage and state intervention, and that heterosexual or homosexual love should be
accepted regardless of the state. Her views on linking monogamy and patriarchy are also
quite sense-able, however I am not against monogamous relationships personally.

1
. Google search, azquotes.com, Ruth Benedict.
2
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 12.
3
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 32.
4
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 33.
5
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 44.
In my own faith of Islam, a man can marry up to four women. However I, along with many
others in this religious group do frown upon this practice. The idea of having and loving
more than one person does not seem possible in my humble opinion. I view these types of
polyamorous relationships as based on an incorrect interpretation of an old practice. The
interpretation is adjusted to the benefit of the male and often leaves females disrespected,
heartbroken and displaced.
An article by Shuley Cantor addresses key requirements in having and maintaining a
relationship. Her focus was on Monogamy and Polyamory but she also emphasises
important aspects required for any relationship. The need for trust, emotional investment
and communication are universal aspects, which I agree with, in growing a loving
relationship.6 A healthy relationship needs these building blocks to strive particularly in a
modern age where the option of ‘opting out’ of a relationship if problems arises seems
easier than ever.
Romantic Love & Love
In his article ‘Romantic Love and Anthropology Charles Lindholm unpacks Romantic Love in
the West and its influences of various communities. He also examines romantic love and the
ideas that comes with it across various cultures. The article highlights interesting points,
namely that the westernised form of love is regarded as ‘sacred’ and comes with an array of
emotions, this includes ecstasy and hopefulness but also pain and challenges. It is seen as
an ideal as this idea is perpetuated by various mainstream media and society. 7 In my view it
is seen as an on-going cycle, when one falls in love there is a state of euphoria and
excitement, it could move on to a form of love that is long lasting, leading to marriage and a
committed form of love or it could fizzle out, often leaving individuals in pain and
disappointed. I have seen this happen first hand and also fully understand the range of
emotions that comes with love.
Lindholm also goes on to discuss the clichés attached to romantic love. The idea that life is
not ‘worth living, marriage should be for love alone, and that anything less is a sham’ is a
bold idea conveyed by Western media.8 It could argued that the expressive views of the
media in various mediums including TV, social media platforms and romance novels creates
an unrealistic view of love and what it should look like. The idea of not being able to live
without it is thwarted by people whom actually does. The 21st century has seen many
changes including that woman has more economic opportunities and that people are
making other areas of their own lives a priority. I use a journalist from Libya as an example,
someone I have worked with closely. A women reaching fifty that has made the conscious
decision to pursue making the plight of Syrian refugees her mission through relief work as
opposed to seeking or wanting romantic love. I find a decision like this, not only for woman
but people completely valid in today’s modern age.

6
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 109.
7
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 53.
8
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 53.
In the west love and sex also goes hand in hand. In these societies it is normal for non-
married couples to have sexual intercourse, with a prerequisite being love or arguably
attraction. This practice is fairly modern according to Lindholm, with romance outside of
marriage being a result of capitalism. 9 I agree with the author that this practice has become
normal in today’s modern age. I do believe there are advantages as well as some
disadvantages that comes with this. If I view society and the challenges that are faced
around pre-marital sex it seems like a lengthy list, from STI’s to unwanted pregnancies and
heartbroken individuals. The advantages is sexual freedom, being able to express one’s self
and gaining experience in learning about sex and love prior to settling down in the confines
of marriage.
The westernised view of love and romance has also influenced other non-western cultures
and countries. In countries with known cultural practices of arranged marriages such as
India, Pakistan and Malawi young adults has expressed their need to rather marry someone
they select themselves and love. 10 These independent views are reflective of westernised
societies. My thinking is that although one should have independent thoughts and decisions
on life-long commitments like marriage age old practices has also seen success and should
not be completely ignored. The elders of many communities are knowledgeable in their
understanding of relationships, sex and long-lasting love and therefore should not be
completely ignored but rather consulted.
There are different views of love and sex in non-western societies. Although there are non-
Western countries that are influenced by western practices there remains cultures who are
true to their own traditions. Such a society are the Marri Baluch of Iran, a hostile group
whom displays characteristics that are individualistic and do not believe that marriage is for
love but rather somewhat of a political game.11 Although I personally do not agree on their
thinking and practices I respect their right to practice their own views on these matters. I
think understanding various cultures from a holistic perspective is vital in being objective.
Feminism pornography, sex work and sex positivity
It could be argued that Feminism porn was created to counter a patriarchal society that
caters solely to the male identity and that it provides a platform for the others forgotten by
society. 12 Pornography in my opnion is not something that I generally find appealing. I hold
a conservative view on the topic, as I think woman should be respected and that sex should
be behind closed doors, however I must admit before reading up on this topic of feminism
porn, my understanding was rather vague. My take-outs from the industry is that it hopes to
promote beauty in various forms by latching on to the body positivity movement, a drive
which I support fully. Loving one’s body and identifying with a broad spectrum of beauty,
rather than sexualising a specific ideal can only benefit a society by becoming more open-

9
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 58.
10
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 53-55.
11
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 62.
12
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 145.
minded. This form of sexuality also gives the ‘other’ a voice, which is something I believe to
be respected.
The various forms of sex work across the world has always been heavily questioned. In
certain countries, such as Holland it is widely accepted and legal. In other nations, such as
South Africa it has been an on-going moral conversation, particularly in the courts. I
question if being a sex-worker means having respect for yourself and your partner/s, there
are different views on the matter as mentioned. In the short essay by Ignacio G. Rivera he
discusses his life candidly about being queer and a sex worker. He discusses how he found
strength an empowerment into shifting into the porn industry. 13I respect his choice to live
his life openly, however do consider sex a private affair and not necessarily for mass
entertainment.
Although there are those who wants sex work to be completely legalised I must admit I
cannot agree to this. Living in a country where the HIV/AIDS pandemic is rife and there are
many that are ‘enslaved’ to this form of life for economic reasons is not something I deem
positive. If we had to scale up the reasons for selecting sex work, I do not think the majority
would choose this lifestyle choice as a profession.
The relationship between love and sex in the 21st century remains a revolving door, which
remains complex. The westernised idea of love and sex has changed, people has generally
become more open to being sexually free on issues of sexual orientation and relationship
practices, what remains true is that one needs to keep an open mind whilst reviewing these
concepts holistically, this is not to say that traditions and beliefs should be forgotten but
rather incorporated.

13
. Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020, page 144-150.
 Bibliography
Department of Anthropology and Archeology, APY1502, Tutorial Letter 501/3/2020,
University of South Africa, 2020.
 Declaration
I Ms. Zuraydah Dyson declare that this essay is my own work, where sources has been used,
they have been acknowledged.
Signed: Z.Dyson
Date: 02 May 2020