There Will Be Peace

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/55169713.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Categories: F/F, F/M, Multi
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg |
Demon Possessing Meg Masters/Dean Winchester, Meg | Demon
Possessing Meg Masters/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Anna
Milton, Ellen Harvelle/Bobby Singer, Rowena MacLeod/Dean
Winchester
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Gabriel
(Supernatural), Benny Lafitte, Meg | Demon Possessing Meg Masters,
Anna Milton, Charlie Bradbury, John Winchester, Bobby Singer
(Supernatural), Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Ash
(Supernatural), Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural),
Rowena MacLeod, Lilith (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Gordon
Walker, Zachariah (Supernatural), Becky Rosen, Ava Wilson, Gadreel
(Supernatural), Alastair (Supernatural), Azazel (Supernatural), Balthazar
(Supernatural), Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, God | Chuck Shurley,
Lucifer (Supernatural), Cain (Supernatural)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Alternate Universe - Diners, Young
Dean Winchester, Young Sam Winchester, Teenage Castiel/Teenage
Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Gabriel
(Supernatural), Human Benny Lafitte, Abusive John Winchester, Drunk
John Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Protective Dean
Winchester, Female Dean Winchester, Hurt Dean Winchester, POV Dean
Winchester, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester in
Love, Ruler of Hell Crowley (Supernatural), Protective Crowley
(Supernatural), Protective Rowena MacLeod, Caring Rowena MacLeod,
Awesome Rowena MacLeod, Protective Meg (Supernatural), Castiel &
Meg Friendship (Supernatural), Protective Lucifer, Protective Bobby
Singer (Supernatural), Parental Bobby Singer (Supernatural), Married
Ellen Harvelle/Bobby Singer, Minor Character Death, Dead Dove: Do
Not Eat, Triggers
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of Wayward
Stats: Published: 2024-04-13 Completed: 2024-04-19 Words: 99,783 Chapters:
38/38
 There Will Be Peace
by anneryn7

Summary

AU. Dean has been taking care of her brother, for the majority of her sixteen years of life.
That's her job, her sole purpose. She has been taking care of her abusive, drunkard of a father
for almost as long. She dropped out of school, lied about her age, and got a job at a local
diner, to put food on the table, and to keep a roof over their heads.

Meeting a blue eyed boy that was the single most attractive human that she had ever laid eyes
on, wasn't something that she could afford to do, not with how drawn to him she seems to be.

In typical John Winchester fashion, her father destroys the fragile stability that Dean has
fought tooth and nail to keep and provide for herself and Sam. Her father sells her to Alastair,
to forgive his debts. If she doesn't comply, Sam will pay the price. That's something that she
can't afford to happen.

Can she survive this? Can she find a way to get Sam to safety? Will falling in love be her
downfall?

Notes

Author's Note:

Hey all! This is my first real venture into the Supernatural fandom. Please be kind and adhere
to the trigger warnings. If the tagged dark warnings are triggering for you, then this story may
not be for you. I won't be posting individual warnings per chapter. Please be mindful and take
care of your mental health.

This is very AU. There will be some OOC moments. Everything should be explained in story.
If you have any questions, you're always welcome to ask. I'll be posting new chapters very
regularly. I've already finished this story in its entirety. I hope you enjoy it.

XO,
Anneryn
 Carry On my Wayward Son
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Carry On My Wayward Son" - Kansas

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘Carry on,
My wayward son.
There'll be peace,
When you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest.
Don't you cry no more.’

Chapter One:

I jerked awake, with a groan, my muscles feeling too tense to be comfortable. I winced as I
felt the melted ice pack on my face. I knew that I had a few bruises littering my torso, but
was still too asleep to really assess the damage. I listened, quietly, trying to hear what time it
was. It's still dark outside and my alarm hasn't gone off. That doesn't mean much, though.

I packed a change of clothes for Sammy and I, both, last night. I had a gnawing feeling, in
my gut, that we might need to crash somewhere else, today, and it looks like I was right.

When I got the call to pick dad up from The Roadhouse, it was barely after nine. He was
pissed and throwing punches, by the time Bobby and I had wrestled him out of the bar, and
into my car. At least, he had the forethought not to drive there, which is a miracle in itself.

I glanced at my phone and sighed. I doubt I'll be getting anymore sleep this morning. It's not
even five AM yet, but I don't want to be here, when dad wakes up. I got up, gingerly, and put
the ice pack back in the freezer. I started the coffee maker, and went to wake up Sam.

“What time is it?” He murmured, sluggishly.

“Almost five. I need to shower, but I'll be quick. I'll be out in five minutes, so you can
shower, and we can go. We're gonna stay at the apartment tonight. I have a change of clothes
for you already packed in the trunk of the Impala. Get whatever else you need packed, and
ready to go. We'll stop at the diner and have breakfast. Okay, kiddo?” I relayed, hoarsely.

“Okay, Dean,” Sam agreed. I waited, until he was up and moving, until I went to shower. I
cleaned up quickly, going through the motions. I had a dark bruise on my jaw, courtesy of my
generous father. He was too far gone to reason with, last night. But, mercifully, he fell asleep
quickly. I used makeup to cover up what I could, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to cover
all of it. I can't afford the good stuff, so I have to make due with the drugstore makeup. Even
then, when Dad is in a mood, he'll trash it and accuse me of whoring myself out. Father of the
year, ladies and gentlemen.

Sam was drinking coffee, packed, and dressed, by the time I was dressed, and out of the
shower. He even had a steaming mug waiting for me. He looked over, and I nodded in thanks.
I took a few aspirin to help dull the ache of my jaw.

I set to work making sandwiches and bagging them into generic ziplocs. I put three in Sam's
lunch-bag and the rest in the fridge for dad. I grabbed an apple, an orange, some chips, and a
water, before giving it to Sam. The kid is growing like a freaking weed, and I don't want him
not getting enough food at school, and still having to be hungry. I know how much that kid
eats. I filled two thermoses with coffee, grabbed the things that Sam packed, turned off the
coffee maker, and left for the diner.

We didn't talk in the car. It was filled with a quiet, somber understanding. Sam knew where
the bruise came from, and why we were staying somewhere else tonight. There was no need
to rehash it. I know that once he's more awake, the chatter will start. I don't mind it.

As I opened the door to A Little Slice of Heaven, the warm murmur of voices, greeted my
ears. That's all it takes – that sound, and the smell of breakfast wafting in the air, for me to
feel safety. As soon as I started waiting tables here, I loved it. It was the day after my
sixteenth birthday, but my fake ID said it was eighteen. That was six months ago.

Things would be so much easier, if I was eighteen. Sammy knows not to correct people, and
dear old Dad doesn't care enough to. Sam is still only twelve. Legally, I can't take him from
our father. And this, this seems to be the best solution I can think of.

I don't put it past our father to not say I kidnapped Sammy, if we actually left, and didn't go
back to the shitty apartment we've been renting. I keep the rent paid, and groceries in the
fridge. Anytime Sammy needs clothes or money for school, it comes from me. I give a little
to Dad, but I don't know where he gets the rest of his spending money. Other than taking odd
jobs, and hunting, he doesn't work. His drinking just keeps getting considerably worse.

“Deano! You're here early! Morning, Sammy! You both take a seat and order anything you
want, on the house! Can't have my favorite employee, or favorite chess partner, starving on
me!” Gabe greeted us both, with a smile.

“As if death could top me from kicking your butt! Cas is a way better chess player.” Sam
teased, as he slid into an empty booth.
“Rude. And just think, I was getting ready to tell Garth to fire up some blueberry, chocolate
chip pancakes for you. But no…” Gabriel lamented, dramatically. Sam gasped. Those were
his favorite, and Gabe knew it.

“You're the best chess player to ever live!” Sammy laughed. Gabe stared at him for a second,
before caving. Sam's puppy dog eyes remained undefeated.

“You want your regular, Deano?” Gabe asked, instead. Sam started chattering about his
upcoming day, as I nodded.

I could feel exhaustion seeping into my bones. Gabe wordlessly handed me the keys to the
fully furnished apartment above the diner, that only a small, select few knew about.

I'm supposed to work today, but there was some convention going on a few cities over, and it
would probably be dead all day.

“Cas'll be here before school to eat. Why don't you let him take you to school, and your big
sis can rest?” Gabe suggested. “Maybe you can give her a few chess pointers, so she can
finally beat you in a game?”

“Yeah, Dean can I?” Sam asked, looking at me expectantly. I nodded, with a tired smile.

“Sure, Sammy, if it's okay with Cas, then it's okay with me.” I agreed.

“Deano, I'm sending you upstairs to rest. I'm giving you the day off. No arguments.” Gabe
announced in a rare, firm voice. “I haven't even given you your employee of the month bonus
yet.”

“Since when is there an employee of the month bonus?” I pressed, instead.

“Since now. And I can do that, because I own this fine establishment.” Gabriel quipped back,
with a wink.

I sighed. I knew better than to fight this losing battle. The smug smirk on Gabe's face told me
that he knew it, too. Gabe's kindness is still something that I'm not completely comfortable
with. I still don't feel like I deserve it. All of these years with John Winchester being my only
living parent, have only cemented the fact that kindness was a luxury, that I could seldom
afford, if ever.

Kindness wasn't for me, not really. Kindness was something that I treasured and cherished
and made sure that it always found its way to Sammy. He wasn't going to grow up feeling
any of the inadequacies that were beaten into me. He deserved better than that, and he was
going to get it. I refuse to let our dad taint him. Sam is pure and strong and everything that
our mom would want him to be. I know that it's only because of me, and because of his heart.
He got that from Mom. But that's a secret that I keep safe, close to my heart. It's not
something that I ever dare to say out loud.

Just like I'll never say that my heart swells with an uncomfortable amount of pride, when
someone compliments me on what a fine son I've raised. It always feels heavy and tight in
my throat, when I correct them and tell them that he's my brother. Sam's goofy grin with his
own pride, never deters them, nevermind the fact that I don't look old enough to be his
mother.

“I know better, than to look a gift-horse in the mouth. So, thank you, Gabe.” I said, instead of
everything else that I was making sure that I didn't say.

“Of course, kiddo. You already know that I would do anything for the two of you. Sammy,
are you getting excited about your fieldtrip next week to the science museum? Cassie
mentioned that you've been talking his ear off about it, in between chess matches.” Gabriel
changed the subject.

I took a swallow of coffee, trying to shove down the wave of gratitude and affection I felt for
Gabe. Mom must’ve been looking down on us, when I met him. He doesn't even know how
many ways that he's saved us already, and I know in my heart, that I'll never have the heart to
tell him.

I tuned out the chatter of their conversation, while I just enjoyed sitting there and reveling in
the moment. My heart felt full. My soul felt heavy. And all of that, helped ease the ache of
my injuries.

I keep praying that I can find some way to get Sammy out of dodge, when I actually turn
eighteen. There is no way in hell that I'll ever leave him with our father. I keep running
scenarios in my mind and I keep coming up empty. I know that I'll never be able to afford to
send him to school, but damn it, if he won't get a scholarship. He's so fucking smart.

I can't afford to be angry about our situation, or to dwell in it. What will that get me? It'll get
me bloody knuckles, and at the bottom of some bottle that I can't afford to fall into. One of us
has to be an adult and pick up the slack in our family, and it damn sure isn't going to be Dad.
He checked out a long, long time ago.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel greeted me, as he slid into the empty side of the booth. Sam was
animatedly chatting with Meg, as she ruffled his hair. She had taken a seat at the counter,
while Gabe poured her some coffee.

“Heya, Cas. Did Sammy already ask you, about taking him to school? I can always take him,
if you have other things you need to do, before you head to class.” I said, with a small smile.

“He did. It wouldn't be any trouble, Dean. Meg enjoys having him around, as much as I do.
And we are going to the same place, after all.” Cas reassured me. I shot him a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Cas, really. I feel like I'm gonna drop, honestly.” I admitted.

“What happened?” Cas asked gingerly, like he knew it was something that I wouldn't answer
honestly.

“My dad decided it would be a good idea to try and pick a fight with the bartender, after he
got cut off, and he lost his balance and hit me, instead.” I told him a half truth, and gritted my
teeth, in a humorless smile.
The fact that I'm so much smaller than Dad has been becoming more and more glaringly
obvious. Despite Dad wishing that I was his son, I can't change the fact that I'm his daughter.
I look too much like Mom. I'm small, like she was. I'm tough as hell, but I can't take a punch
quite as well as a man could. I have plenty of practice, but it's getting harder to take a beating,
without time to recover. Hell, even Sammy is taller than me.

“I am sorry, Dean.” Cas said softly. “You don't deserve that. He could really hurt you one of
these days. You're so petite.” His voice was heavy with something that made my throat feel
too big, and my eyes start to sting.

“No one does, but he's my dad, and Sam is underage. I'm just doing the best that I can. Ya
know?” I breathed. I tried to shrug off his concern.

“Is that why you didn't finish school?” Cas asked, instead.

“I can't work and go to school. It's more important that Sammy goes. I can get my GED later.
It's not a big deal.” I said with a shrug.

“Sam is very lucky to have you as an older sister, Dean. I hope you know that.”

“I'm just doing what anyone else would do.”

“No, you're really not. He is lucky. You're incredible, Dean.” Cas insisted. And that wasn't
something that I couldn't take to heart. I couldn't. I'm not incredible, not really. I do my best
and it's still not good enough. There isn't enough time in the day to list all of the ways that I
fall short. I know better than to try.

“He's right, Dean.” Sam added, with a smile. It was impossible not to smile back at him.

“Thanks, Sammy. You got everything you need for school?” I asked him. He nodded, and
gave me a quick hug, before bouncing back over to Meg. As long as Sam is okay, then maybe
I'm at least doing one thing right. And that made the ache in my chest loosen, just a little. “I
love you, kiddo. I'm gonna go crash, okay? Text or call, if you need anything. Okay?”

“Okay, Dean. I know what to do. I'm not three, ya know? Jeez.”

“Whatever. Make good choices. Don't run with scissors or take candy from strangers, even if
they're a certain pretty blonde.” I teased, as I got up from the table.

“Ugh, Dean! You're the worst!” He whined, dramatically. I smirked at him, as I ruffled his
hair, and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “I love you, too. Bye, Jerk.”

“Bye, Bitch. I'll see ya after school.”

 ’Masquerading as a man,
With a reason,
My charade is the event of the season –
And if I claim to be a wise man,
Well,
It surely means that I don't know…’

Chapter End Notes

😅 I'm super nervous about posting this (my baby). The last two and a half months of

anxious brain. 🖤💋
writing this have been a labor of love. Please kudos and comment to reassure my
 You're On Your Own, Kid.
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “You're On Your Own, Kid" – Taylor Swift

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this...

The jokes weren't funny. I took the money…

I looked around, in a blood-soaked gown, and I saw something they can't take away.’

Chapter Two:

I jerked awake, when I heard the front door open and close. It took a few seconds for my
heart to stop pounding in my chest. I trained my ears and let out a breath of relief, when I
heard the tell-tale sounds of Sammy. The side of my chest aches. Experience told me that my
ribs were only bruised, not broken, or fractured. Thank god.

I pushed myself up and climbed out of bed. I padded out to the living room to find Sam
pulling out his homework. He had a snack, from Benny, by the looks of it. He even had a to-
go container open with a slice of pie, untouched. My lips curved into an easy smile, when I
saw it.

“How was school, Sammy?” I asked him, as I helped him take his things to the kitchen table.

“It was good! Benny sent you some pie. He told me to tell you that he'd whip us up some
dinner, after I finished my homework, later.” Sam relayed, before telling me all about his day.
He has the biggest crush on Jessica, a pretty blonde girl in his class. I didn't tease him, as I
tucked into the slice of peach pie. I commented here and there, as he spoke about his day.
“Dad called.” He added, as an afterthought, after he finished reminiscing about his day.

“What did he want?” I sighed.

“Just to say that Ellen won't let him come back to The Roadhouse this week. So, I guess he's
taking some job somewhere. I wasn't really listening, after that. He said he'd be leaving
tomorrow, but something about his tone sounded… off. Dean, I don't think we should go
back, until we know he’s gone. Is that okay? I know that you're hurt worse, than you're letting
on. I'm scared that he'll hurt you more, than you can take, Dean.

“I know that you don't draw attention to that fact that you're a girl, Dean, but it matters. He…
The way he treats you… something really bad could happen. I'm not scared of him for me,
Dean. I'm scared of him for you. I know that you'd never let him hurt me.” Sammy admitted.
He sounded scared, but he also knows our father. He has good protective instincts. I trust
him, just as much as he trusts me.

“Of course it's okay, Sammy. We'll stay here. You already know that Gabe doesn't care. We
still have some clothes stashed here, and I can throw the clothes we have on in the wash
tonight. I trust you, Kiddo. You know that. If your gut’s telling you that we should stay, then
we'll stay. It's as simple as that.” I promised.

“And I'm doing the best I can, Sammy. I know that it's not always good enough… and I won't
lie to you. I’m scared of that, too. I just… I don't see an alternative here. I'm sorry.” My voice
broke and I set down the pie and stood up and faced away from Sam. Angry tears forced their
way down my face and I sobbed.

“Dean, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry. I just… I hate him, ya know? I hate what he
does and how he treats us. I hate him for being so awful to you, when you always do so
much. I don't know what I'd do without you, Dean. I'm terrified that he'll kill you, one day.”
He apologized. I cursed and mopped the tears off of my face with my shirt sleeve.

“Don't apologize, Sam. You're just being honest and I can't fault you for that. I promise that
I'll never leave you. Never. He wouldn't kill me, Sam. I… We’ll stay here, till he goes. We'll
figure something out. I love you, Sammy.” I pulled him into a hug and hoped that I wasn't
lying to him.

It's not unheard of that our father would call Sammy, and not me. Apologizing isn't
something that Dad really has in his vocabulary, at least not when it comes to us – when it
comes to me. I'm not surprised that Dad is probably working some angle that will come back
to bite us in the end, but it’s not something he would be forthcoming with or admit, even if I
did ask.

As always, we have to sit back and wait. I don't have a good feeling about this. I wouldn't say
that things are good now, but it's doable. Whatever wrench Daddy Dearest is about to throw
into our life, will probably wreak havoc in the worst way possible.

Sam and I ate in the diner and got to catch up with Benny and Charlie. My mind kept
drifting, picturing all the worst-case scenarios. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop it. It feels
like there is lead in my stomach and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it.

“You doin' okay, Sister?” Benny asked me, his voice dripping with sincerity and concern. I
offered him a feeble shrug. I didn't wanna lie to him. In the short time that I've known him,
he's become one of my best friends. I forget about our age difference all the time. He always
tells me that I have an old soul, but I think that my soul is just so fucking tired. “You can talk
to me, Chére. And if you don't wanna talk here, we can talk outside, for a bit. You know I
won't tell anyone your business.” He offered.

I sighed and my shoulders sagged. He doesn't know that I lie about my age or the
supernatural aspects of my life, but he knows most of the rest. And he's true to his word. He
hasn't breathed a word of it to anyone else. He wouldn't break my confidence like that.

“Yeah, okay, we can talk outside. Thanks, Man.” I agreed, softly. He touched my shoulder
and gave it a quick, reassuring squeeze, before leading me out of the diner.

“What really happened last night, Sug?” He asked me, as we both sat on the deserted curb
behind the restaurant.

“I got called to pick Dad up and he wasn't ready to go. He was making a scene and trashing
whatever he could get his hands on. When I finally was able to get him outside of the bar, he
wailed on me, and wouldn't stop, until he got it out of his system.

“Thankfully, it was only a few minutes. He's just so fucking strong. You've seen him. He's
built like a tank… or at least, more than I am. It wouldn't matter, if I tried to restrain him.
He's just so fucking angry, all the time.

“It doesn't matter that I'm eighteen, because Sammy isn't. It's like he forgets on purpose that
I'm not a man or his son. He just always says that I remind him so much of Mom, and I know
that he hates it. He'd never let me take Sam, because he wouldn't be able to control me
anymore.

“Why would he? I'm his fucking meal ticket. I dropped out of school, so I could make sure
Sam could go, and that I could pay the bills. Dad just drinks and pisses away all of our
money. If I didn't give the rent money to our landlord, we wouldn't even have that. He doesn't
care if we're hungry, or if we don't have clothes, or a way to pay for a place.

“I just… I don't know how much longer I can do this, Man. He just gets meaner and more
reckless. Even if I reported him, Sammy would get taken away from me. He can't hurt
Sammy, if I'm there. That's why he's always here with me. I'm fucking terrified out of my
mind, Benny.

“I barely know which way is up. I'm not equipped to deal with this, but I have to. There isn't
an alternative. I just… I feel it in my gut, ya know? He's ramping up to something, and I just
know that whatever it is… it'll be something that neither of us can handle. God, I hate him. I
shouldn't hate him, but I just can't stop.” I whimpered.

Benny put an arm around me and hugged me to his side. I didn't say anything else, as silent
tears cascaded down my face. I shook against him, and he just let me fall apart. He wrapped
his arms around me, and held me for a while. Talking to him, it's the only time that I ever let
myself lose it. I can't afford to any other time. I'd never get up. I would never be able to keep
myself going.

“The hand you've been dealt isn't fair to you, at all, Chére, but you're doing the best you can.
I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're doing a really fucking good job. That kid in there that
you're raising is so good, Dean. And it's because of you. It's not because of your pop, Mon
Cœur, that's for damn sure.

“You're doing what you can, and that's all that you can do. Ask for help, when you need it.
You have people who love you both, and we'll help however we can. You don't have to do
everything on your own. You know that, don't you, Sug?” He questioned, softly. I nodded,
not trusting my voice. I just feel so fucking exhausted, down to my bones, all the time.
“You're going to make it through this, and John Winchester will get his in the end. Just you
wait and see, chére.” Benny promised.

I tossed and turned in the bed in the apartment. I couldn't sleep to save my life. I refused to
seek refuse with the whiskey tucked away in the kitchen. I didn't want to be like him. And I
won't. Even if it kills me. God, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing. Sammy deserves the
freaking world, and all he's got is me. And knowing that just kills me.

I jumped as my phone vibrated. I sighed and opened the message, hoping it wasn't our dear
old dad. I let out a long breath of relief, when I saw Cas' name.

To Dean:
‘Hello, Dean. I can't sleep. Are you still awake, by chance?
-Castiel'

I grinned, as I read his text. Even through text, he still sounds exactly the same. It's just
another endearing quality that I love about him. It didn't take me long to type out a reply. I bit
my lip in anticipation.

I didn't allow myself to think about the fact that Cas was the single most attractive human
that I had ever laid eyes on. I didn't have time for romance, and I definitely didn't have the
luxury of entertaining, without signing my own death sentence. Dad has never been subtle
with that fact that he's wholeheartedly against me having any type of romantic relationship.

It doesn't matter that I'm pansexual. That isn't the issue. The issue is that he looks at me, and
sees a piss-poor version of my mother. He sees her, and is automatically convinced that
anytime a man looks at me, in any type of context, that I'm trying to whore myself out. He
would just see it as more ammunition to beat my ass and justify it.

To Castiel:
‘Hey, Cas. Yeah, I'm up. I haven't been able to sleep, either. What’s up? Everything okay?
-Dean'

I didn't have to wait long at all. I didn't even have time to overthink things or my giant crush
on my boss' younger brother.

To Dean:
‘Oh, I'm fine, Dean. I was just wondering how you were doing. Those bruises looked painful,
when I saw you, this morning. I know that you don't like to talk about your home situation,
but if you ever need an ear, I hope you know that I am here for you, and I am a good listener.
I would not break your confidence. I know that you don't always work over the weekend, but I
was wondering if you and Sam would like to accompany me to an apiary on Saturday? I had
told Sam about the one that I like to frequent, and he seemed excited about the possibility of
going. It's my happy place, when I need a break from everything else in the world. I thought
you might also like a small reprieve. I also enjoy spending time with you both.
-Castiel'

My throat went dry and my brain felt like it was short-circuiting. He wants to spend time with
us? With me? He and I haven't really done anything outside of the diner. I'm almost always
working and I never dared to think about the possibility. More than anything, I want to go.

To Castiel:
‘I would love that, Cas. How much is it to go? Sammy and I are on kind of a tight budget. He
has a fieldtrip next week, and I wanted to surprise him, by taking him to get some new clothes
and a better school bag, this weekend. Maybe we could do both?
-Dean'

I worried my bottom lip, as I waited to hear if us going would even be a feasible possibility. I
can't mention it to Sammy, unless I know that I can swing it. I hate disappointing him, more
than anything.

To Dean:
‘It won't cost anything to go, Dean. I am friends with the beekeeper who owns the apiary, and
he welcomes fellow bee enthusiasts. I have been friends with him, since I was a child. What
do you think? Would you like to make a day of it? Going to the apiary, and then shopping for
Sam? I think the three of us would have a lot of fun.
*bee emoji* *smiley face* *yellow heart* *black heart*
-Castiel'

I laughed, when I read his reply, and saw all of the emojis he sent. My heart panged, as a
flood of warmth filled my chest. God, he's so fucking cute. I have it bad.

To Castiel:
‘Yes, Cas, for sure. I'd love that, and I know Sammy would, too. Thank you, for thinking of us.
We don't get out a lot. It's hard, when I'm always working, and he's stuck with his boring
older sister at the diner. This will be a nice change of pace. I can't wait. It'll be nice to see ya
outside of the restaurant.
*smiley face with sunglasses* *winky face* *finger-guns emoji*
-Dean’
 To Dean:
‘Excellent. I look forward to it, very much. I'll let you go. I should probably try to get a little
bit of sleep. Morning will be here, before I know it. I'll see you and Sam in the morning.
Thank you, for agreeing to come with me. We will have a wonderful time. Goodnight, Dean.
*smiley face* *bee emoji* *sleepy face* *yellow heart* *smiley face with hearts around it*
-Castiel'

Hell, what did I just agree to? It's not a date, right? Surely, not, not with Sammy with us. I let
out a small laugh. And just like that, I had something to look forward to.

‘Take the moment and taste it.

You've got no reason to be afraid.
You're on your own, kid.
Yeah.
You can face this.
You're on your own, kid.
You always have been.’

Chapter End Notes

Kudos and comments warm my black heart. 🖤🥰💋

 Kiss Me Like the World is Ending
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “Kiss Me Like the World is Ending" – Avril Lavigne
featuring Mod Sun

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘I shoulda known the time was comin'.

Yeah, i t's just like me, to be kinda all or nothin’.
I can't stop.
Try to catch me, if you can.
I was born on the run, but I'll die holdin' your hands.
Yeah…’

Chapter Three:

I yawned, as I went through the motions of getting myself ready for the morning. I paid extra
attention to covering up the yellowing bruise along my jaw. I hate having to answer all the
questions that come with my visible injuries left by my oh-so-loving dad. It didn't hurt that
the better I looked, the better my tips would be.

I sighed and covered what I could, before setting to work adding white eyeliner to my
waterline and a little brown eyeliner to my top lash-line. It made my eyes look bigger, and
my lashes thicker. I added a smidge of dark green eyeshadow, making my eyes pop even
more than normal. I added a bit of brown mascara to my lashes and I was done. A little bit of
tinted lip balm and I looked as good as I could. This is the extent of my makeup knowledge.

I slipped on a clean pair of plain black boyshorts and my trusty pushup bra, before donning
an old, tight pair of black leggings that made my butt look good, and a thick, tight-fitting grey
henley. I left all but the bottom button undone, and slid on an oversized plaid overshirt with
blues, and greens that complimented my eyes. I pulled on a thick pair socks, but lacing up my
combat boots.
I heard books fall and poked my head out of the bathroom, in time to see Sammy gathering
his school supplies. I laughed and he looked up and made a face at me.

“You almost ready, Kiddo?” I asked, as I deposited my phone and my wallet to a pocket on
the thigh. He nodded and went to brush his teeth in the bathroom. I slipped a couple of hair-
ties onto my wrist and grabbed my brown leather jacket, and waited on my meandering
brother.

“Dean, do you mind if I go over to Jess' after school? We have an English project we have to
wok on. Kevin said that his mom could take me and bring me home later, if it was okay with
you. I told her that I didn't remember your schedule today. I promise Jess' mom will be home,
so we won't be alone or anything.” Sam asked, as we walked into the diner. I nodded.

“Are you sure she doesn't mind taking you? I can always pick you up, if you need, Sammy. It
won't be a problem.” I assured him. He nodded, quickly, as an excited grin curved across his
face. I ruffled his hair and he groaned. I just laughed. He's getting so tall, he's already a
couple of inches taller than me. “Then it's okay with me, just keep your phone on. Okay? I
trust you. You already know that, Kiddo.” I reassured him.

“Great! Thanks, Dean! You're the best sister ever!” He wrapped his arms around me and
pressed a loud kiss to my cheek. I just chuckled and squeezed him back.

“Don't mention it, Sammy. What do you want for breakfast? Sandwiches okay for lunch?” I
asked, as I wrapped my server's apron around my waist.

“Eggs in a basket? And fruit salad?” He pressed. I nodded and gave him a wink, before going
to tell Garth what Sammy wanted for breakfast.

“Mornin', Deano!” He and Gabriel greeted me in unison.

“Hey guys,” I said with a smile. “Sammy wants eggs in a basket and fruit salad.” I repeated.

“Comin' right up! You want the same?” Garth asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah, but we could get some bacon, too? And extra toast. Kid is growing like a freaking
weed, I swear. I barely remember what it was like, when I was taller than he was.” I
grumbled.

“That's not hard, Kiddo. You're more fun-sized, than I am.” Gabe teased me. I just stuck out
my tongue, like the dignified adult I am. He just laughed. “Go relax with Sammy. I'll bring
your breakfast out in a jiff. Cassie should be in soon, and I know he was excited to see you
this morning. All he's been able to talk about is you guys going to that apiary. He likes you
almost as much as his bees. And that's no easy feat.”
“Hello, Dean.” Cas greeted with a smile, as he sat across from me, in my booth with Sam. I
smiled at him and tried not to blush.

“Heya, Cas. It's good to see you. I thought you might wanna be the one to give Sammy the
good news.” I grinned. Sam looked up from his food and glanced from me to Cas.

“We're going to an apiary on Saturday. Dean has the day off. We thought we could make a
day of it.” Cas explained.

“We are?! That's awesome. I can't wait.” Sam exclaimed. I tuned out his excited chatter as his
words started to go a mile a minute. I drank my coffee and tried to memorize the feeling of
the warmth that was filling my chest.

“Clarence, there you are.” Meg said, before sitting down next to me.

“Hey Meg,” I breathed, mid-sip of my coffee. She smirked at me and looked like she was
studying me and taking note of my appearance.

“You know, Dean, you're very pretty. I mean, you're a complete knockout. It's a shame that
you don't know how to do your makeup properly.” She mused. I just laughed. Makeup has
never been a priority for me. It's always just been a necessary means to an end, if anything.

“Dean is beautiful with or without makeup. You know that, Meg.” Castiel tutted. I flushed
and my face grew warm. I knew that I was blushing something fierce.

“Yes, yes, Clarence. I know that. I wasn't questioning her beauty. She has a face that I would
be happy to sit on, any day of the week. My point is that if she had quality products and knew
how to apply them, then those pesky bruises wouldn't be a problem.” Meg explained,
completely undeterred by her more socially inept best friend.

I blinked and just stared at her. I know she means well, which, is a feat for Meg. But. I wasn't
sure how to take that information.

“Ooh, are we talking about a makeover?” Anna asked, joining our table.

“No,” I refused.

“Dean, it won't be that bad. I promise. I have so many giftcards to Sephora. It'll be my treat.
Maybe we can hit up the mall? Let us spoil you, a little bit. I really need a girls' day.” Anna
suggested. I just balked at them.

“I don't really have the extra money to spend at the mall. I was going to surprise Sammy with
getting new clothes on Saturday, with Cas.” I mumbled.

“Sunshine, did you hear what Anna said? It'll be our treat. We'll treat you. I know that I'm
prickly and I don't have a lot of practice being nice to people outside of the Milton-Novak
family, but I do like you, Dean, and I consider to be a friend. Let us pamper you a little,
before your date with Clarence. You always take care of everyone else. You deserve to be
taken care of, too.” Meg pressed. I sighed and tried not to focus on the myriad of things her
spiel was making me feel. I gave a stiff nod.

“Okay. Fine. We can go. I'm off this afternoon. I was going to pull a double, but, if you want,
we can go shopping instead.” I agreed. Anna cheered and leaned across the table to hug me. I
laughed and did my best to return it.

“And if you decide that Clarence isn't your type, after Saturday, then maybe I'll look like a
solid contender, after we've spent more time together.” Meg added with a shrug and smirk.

“Meg, stop trying to steal my date.” Cas interjected, lightheartedly. I let out a tiny squeak that
was far too embarrassing to acknowledge.

“Uh, Cas, it can't be a date, if I'm there. I know I'm only twelve, but even I know that.” Sam
snorted.

“Sounds like you're a hot commodity over here, Deano.” Gabe teased, as he came over to
refill my coffee.

“God, kill me now.”

“It really won't be that bad, Dean. I promise.” Anna said, as she looped her arm through
mine, and Meg grabbed my hand. There was no way that I'd be escaping this. Stacy London
and Clinton Kelly would be proud of Anna and Meg’s determination to see this makeover
through, even if it is at my behest.

“Dean… have you ever kissed a girl before?” Meg asked me, as a mischievous smirk etched
on her face. I blushed and looked down.

“I've never kissed anyone before.” I admitted, blushing profusely.

“Wait, ever?” Anna asked, pulling us to a stop.

“Um, is that bad?” I asked, feeling completely mortified. I was only sixteen, but still,
everyone I know has already kissed someone. I gnawed on my lip and refused to make eye
contact. They both think I'm eighteen. I'm sure I'll never hear the end of this.

“Of course not! There is nothing wrong for wanting to wait.” Anna promised.

“I mean… it's not like I've been saving myself for marriage or anything… It just hasn't
happened yet.” I breathed, as I ran a hand through my hair, nervously.

“You can kiss me, Cupcake. We can practice, when we leave here. I'll be gentle. Don't
worry.” Meg offered, looking more sincere than I was used to.
“Or me. Or both. Meg was my first kiss, but I think that I'm gay.” Anna added with a shrug. I
nodded, quietly, processing the information.

“I'm fluid.” Meg chimed in with a shrug of her own.

“I'm pan, I think. You would tell me if was super weird that I haven't kissed anyone yet,
right?” I asked, biting down on my lip, again.

“What's weird is that you're a bombshell and you haven't kissed anyone yet, but after
knowing you, no. I don't think it's weird. You've been taking care of your brother for forever,
and you're like both parents and his older sister rolled into one. That absolute deadbeat dad
of yours certainly isn't doing you any favors. And look, I'm the first one to give anyone shit
for anything, but it's not a big deal.

“You don't have to kiss us, or losing your kiss cherry, before you're ready to. I just thought
that you might be nervous about your date with Clarence, and practicing might put you at
ease, a little. I mean… not that you need to practice.

“The way he looks at you, is like you're the only planet in his orbit. It wouldn't matter if the
diner was filled with naked, fox-trotting bodies, because he wouldn't notice.” Meg told me,
seriously. I let myself mull over her words, feeling surprisingly touched.

“I think that practicing would make me feel better. I don't have a lot of friends, and I
definitely don't have a lot of female friends, but I am thankful for the two of you. I know I'm
not always good with words, or making myself a priority. It's just something I haven't really
been able to have the luxury of doing. Ya know?

“Ever since Sammy was born, it was always my job to take care of him. Mom died, right
after he was born, and it's no secret what our dad is like. As long as Sam's okay, I'm okay. I
know the pecking order.

“I know Cas already spilled the beans on me not finishing school. I'm still surprised Gabe
hired me, since I don't even have my GED, but I'm grateful, nonetheless.” I admitted.

I blinked, as both girls wrapped their arms around me in a tight hug. I did my best to hug
them back and I let myself just be especially thankful to have them both as my friends.

“Meg, this concealer is like $30. What's wrong with what I already have? Is there like
crushed gold in this?” I squeaked, as I eyed the IT Cosmetics concealer, skeptically. Anna
just laughed.

“Trust me, it's worth it. It'll cover hickeys or whatever else. We'll get some color-correcting
concealer, too. It's a must-have for bruises.” Anna replied, her voice soft, and judgement free.
I gave her a wry grin, sheepishly. I just nodded, and let them continue to add things to the
basket in my hands. Meg slipped two eyeshadow palettes in, as Anna added a couple of long-
lasting Maybelline liquid lipsticks. I was starting to lose track of everything. Why do women
need all of these things? There is just so much.

What have I gotten myself into?

After the girls helped me bring everything up to the apartment above the diner, we left, again.
We went to a lake, kind of in the middle of nowhere, where we wouldn't be overheard, or
spied on. Anna arranged for Cas to hang out with Sam tonight, until we got back. I was
nervous.

“Relax, Cupcake. It's just a kiss. I promise it won't be scary.” Meg told me. I nodded and
wiped my palms on my leggings, trying to get rid of my nerves. She cupped my face and
leaned in slowly, bringing her lips to mine. I gasped, against her lips. I kissed her back, and
marveled at the feel of it. I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this. It…
it feels good.

She kept moving her lips against mine and I did my best to follow her lead. Slowly, she slid
her tongue across my bottom lip, and coaxed my mouth open. She slipped her tongue into my
mouth, as I tentatively touched her tongue with mine. She moaned into the kiss and moved
closer to me. My hand went to her hair and I pressed my body closer to hers.

After a few minutes, we broke apart, panting. Her lips are red and swollen and she looked
wrecked. She touched her forehead to mine, as I touched my lips. Wow. So, that's what
kissing is all about? I get it now.

“Holy shit,” Anna breathed. A nervous laugh escaped my lips, before Meg joined in. “Yeah,
I'm definitely, definitely gay.” She announced. That inspired more snickers from all of us.

“I understand why everyone is obsessed now.” I mused, softly. Meg winked at me, with a
smirk.

“Not everyone is good at it, but it's definitely fun to practice.” Meg admitted, still sounding a
little out of breath. “How’re you feeling?” She asked. I bit my lip and smiled, shyly.

“Good. I, um, I enjoyed it. A lot.” I admitted, blushing something fierce. “Thank you, for
letting me practice with you.”

“Anytime.” She grinned.

“Are you ready for your makeover?” Anna asked. I just groaned.

“I forgot.” I whined. They both laughed.

I tried to remember all the tips and tricks that the girls taught me. They were right about the
better concealer. And a little bit of blush works wonders. Who knew? Not me. My biggest
surprise was how much I liked the liquid lipstick. It didn't come off at all, once it dried. They
insisted on crimson bringing out the green in my eyes, and they weren't wrong.

I had gotten new clothes, too, much to my dismay. Just newer versions of the things that I
already wore. Some new leggings, a couple of thick-knitted cardigans – because apparently, I
can't live in plaid, which, rude – a few tight-fitted v-necks, some new push-up bras, new
boyshorts, a sports bra, two pairs of dark-washed skinny jeans, and a pair of over-the-knee
black biker boots. The one thing that I did splurge on, with my own money, was a bottle of
cologne. It smelled so good and was an instant confidence booster.

I promised the girls that I would wear some of the new purchases to work today. I had my
face made up, and I donned a tight green v-neck, a thick grey knitted cardigan – pushed to
my elbows – and a new pair of black leggings. My trusty boots were on my feet, as I put my
hair in low pig-tails, to keep my hair out of my face. I bit my lip, suddenly nervous.

“Whoa.” Sam breathed, as he walked into the living room, ready for school. “You look
amazing, Dean, just like Mom, with the red lipstick, like prom picture.” He grinned. I
glanced down at my feet.

“You really think so, Sammy?” I asked, nervously. He nodded with a sheepish smile, before
hugging me. “Thanks, Kiddo.” I said, as I gave him a tight squeeze, and kissed his cheek.
“God, I still can't believe that you're taller than I am.” I grumbled.

“Dean, you're not even tall. I'm pretty sure most children are taller than you, already.” He
teased.

“Shh, let me stay delusional a little while longer.” I shook my head. He was taller than me,
but saying that most children are also taller than me, was just rude and not true. Sam just
laughed all the way down to the diner. “Bitch,” I teased.

“Jerk,” Sam replied with a shit-eating grin.

“Holy shit, Dean,” Garth exclaimed, as we walked in the door. I'm pretty sure my face is
bright freaking red.

“Wow,” Gabe added, with a low whistle.

“I hate you both.” I promised them, putting my apron on.

“You know, Deano, Cassie isn't the only one in the Milton-Novak bunch.” He teased,
wagging his eyebrows. I smirked and stared him down.
“Oh, I know. Anna is single, too. And I'm her type, so.” I added, with a wink. Gabe gaped at
me, as Sam snorted with laughter. Garth cackled, as Gabe tried to think of a witty comeback.
“Come to think of it, I'm Meg's type, too.” I shrugged. Sam tried to hide his laughter and
failed miserably.

“Trust me, Clarence, you'll be glad we got here early.” Meg's voice filled my ears. Speak of
the demon. “Morning, Cupcake.” She winked. I gave her a quick hug, and then looked at Cas.
His eyes looked me over with appreciation.

“You look wonderful, Dean.” He smiled, before hugging me. I let myself burrow into his
embrace, as I squeezed him back. God, he smells so fucking good. He pulled away, just
enough to glance down at me. I grinned up at him and stood on my tiptoes, so I could press a
soft kiss to his cheek. He beamed at me, before letting me go.

“Is everyone done accosting my sister?” Sam asked, waving a menu, hoping to order his
breakfast.

“Oh, I don't know, Sam… She hasn't even kissed me good morning, yet.” Meg teased, with a
mischievous winkle in her eye. I hid my face.

“Wait… Meg, you were serious about that?” Cas asked in a soft, confused voice. He looked
from me to Meg, looking more aroused, than anything.

“As a heart attack, Clarence. I taught your lady how to kiss. Maybe we'll show you sometime,
when we don't have an audience.” She said, pressing a kiss to my cheek, before sitting next to
Sammy.

“I think I would like that.” He decided. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my ear,
making me shiver. “Does this mean that we can practice kissing, too, if our not-date on
Saturday goes well?” He whispered. I think I forgot how to breathe. I looked up at his too
blue eyes and nodded.

“Y-yes,” I stammered. Well, fuck. Did that really just happen? This can't be my life. Someone
pinch me.

‘The stars shine, for the two of us…

So sweet and mysterious.

Got a question, baby, t ruth or dare?
Spin the bottle.
I’ll be waitin’ there.
Yeah.
 Ki ss me, just like the world is endin'.
Give me, one last perfect memory.
I don't want to say goodbye.
Let's meet up, a fter we die.
So, k iss me, just like the world is endin'.’

Chapter End Notes

💋
Don't forget to hit kudos or leave me a comment, if you're enjoying this, so far! 🖤🥰
 First Date
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “First Date” – blink-182

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘In the car, I just can't wait, to pick you up on our very first date.
Is it cool, if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong, i f I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess, that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous, so, I really can't eat.’

Chapter Four:

I was tossing and turning and couldn't seem to go back to sleep. It's finally the day to go to
the apiary with Cas and Sammy. I'm nervous and excited, and truthfully, I'm not surprised
that I'm too nervous to sleep.

I still hadn't really heard from Dad. He didn't call, like he usually does. Instead, he just sent a
brief text saying that he would likely be out of town for about a week, and to not get into any
trouble in his absence. If anything, it just aggravated me.

He was the one that always found the trouble, not us. Still, I can't deny that I was grateful for
the break from him. Sammy was right, it feels like trouble is looming on the horizon, and life
experience told me that it would probably catch us with our pants down.

I ran through my mental checklist. I had rent already paid for the next two months, and the
same for the utilities. I had paid both of our car insurance policies and gassed up Baby. I had
given Sammy the money for his fieldtrip to the planetarium next week, and I could still afford
to treat him to some new clothes and a new school bag.
It also helped, that I still had emergency money stashed a few places, just in case. It helps that
I'm almost always working. I've never been able to get this far ahead, before. It felt good, but
something gnawed at my gut, and I had a horrible feeling that all of my hard work would be
for not.

I screamed in my pillow and forced myself to close my eyes. I have to relax. I can't control
things any more than I already have. I've prepared as best I can, and I just hope that it's
enough to help me and Sammy weather the impending storm. I'm not the prayin' type, but I
have been prayin' for this.

“Dean! Open the door. It's Charlie! Meg is here, too!” Charlie called out, as she rapped on the
apartment door. I huffed, as Sam let them in. I was currently standing in front of all of my
clothes and I was only clad in my new – dark green lace – undergarments. They were all
dumped haphazardly on the bed I've been using.

“It's a good thing you're here! She's been staring at the clothes and going through them for
two hours.” Sammy dished. I sighed and rubbed at my temples. He's such a tattle-tale.

“Thanks, a lot, for outing me.” I grumbled.

“You're welcome, Jerk!” He chirped, merrily, before bounding away to call Jess on the
landline. I rolled my eyes, hard.

“We brought you something!” Charlie announced, as she walked into the bedroom that was
temporarily mine. I looked suspiciously at both of them.

“Well, more than one something, actually, but I doubt you'd be down to wear a dress for
Clarence.” Meg admitted. I shot her a dirty look and shook my head.

“Have you even met me? I don't do dresses, Megatron.” I glowered, as she wrinkled her nose
in response to the nickname I gave her.

“Okay, but I'm pretty sure if Clarence saw you in a dress, he'd forget how to breathe and
you'd break his brain.” She sang, pulling a muted green garment from her back.

“No,” I refused, simply. Charlie just laughed, like she had already known what my reaction
would be.

“My outfit is less extreme, but it will involve you showing off some serious leg.” Charlie
wiggled her eyebrows at the last word. I groaned and flopped down on the bed, landing with
my back on top of the clothing pile.

“Why do I even need to show leg? Everyone has them. What's the big deal?!” I whined,
trying to get my freakout under control. They're used to being girls. I'm not! I’m not
confident like them. I don't like showing off my body, like that.
“I don't know if you know this, Princess, but you have great gams. And believe me, when I
say that Clarence has noticed. You will still be kinda covered. You should trust us. Would we
really lead you astray?” She cooed, in a very un-Meg-like tone.

I stared her down, making my distrust as obvious as humanly possible. Charlie just snickered
and pulled out the articles of clothing in question. She had a black pair of tights; a pair of
very faded, high-waisted, short Daisy Dukes; a light green, long-sleeved, tight v-neck shirt;
and a worn-looking brown, leather belt. I blinked a few times, before deciding that her outfit
really wasn't so bad.

“Why does showing skin make you so uncomfortable? You show off your cleavage, all the
time, at work?” Charlie asked, quietly.

“I show off the girls, because it helps me get better tips.” I sighed, like the answer was
obvious.

“And if you show off your legs, Clarence is gonna wanna give you his tip.” Meg laughed. I
swore under my breath, before sitting up.

“I don't want that.” I huffed, as I got off of the bed, and started pulling on the clothes that
Charlie brought for me.

“No? I bet you think about it, sometimes, don't you?” She pressed.

“No, I don't! This isn't even a real date. God. I just got kissed for the first time, yesterday.
Can you calm the fuck down, please? Jesus-fucking-christ. I'll wear the stupid outfit. Okay?”
I growled, growing increasingly annoyed. It feels like I'm being pimped out, and they don't
even take my discomfort or insecurities into consideration.

“Yay.” Charlie mused with a small clap. “We're gonna help you get ready, and then you'll
knock his socks off. Let's go, Bitches, it's crunch time.”

Meg did my makeup, because I was so nervous, I couldn't get my lipstick even. Charlie
teased my hair and pulled some of it back in a small ponytail, on top of my head. She left the
rest of it down, in soft beach-waves. God, I looked so much like my mom now.

“Hey, Dean! Are you almost ready? It's almost time to go pick up Cas.” Sam asked, as he
walked into the bathroom, that we've been primping in.

“Yeah, Sammy. I just need my jacket, and we can go.” I told him, as I pulled on my combat
boots. He grinned at me.

“You look great.” He promised, as he pulled me into a hug. I smiled and gave him a squeeze.

“Thanks, Kiddo. So do you!” I mused.

“It's your job to make sure you guys get pictures and take pictures together. Okay? Get some
together of Dean and Cas, too.” Charlie gave him very specific orders. He nodded with an
easy smile.

“Definitely.” He agreed.

“Alright, Princess, you're ready for your date with my unicorn. You're gonna have fun. Don't
do anything I wouldn't do.” Meg said, with a wink. We all laughed at that.

“What wouldn't you do?” Charlie asked her, before I could. She just shrugged, unbothered by
the question.

“Good point.”

I was drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, singing under my breath, even though my
brain couldn't even register what was playing. When Sam fiddled with the radio stations, he
shot a tentative glance over at me, when I didn't immediately demand he use one of Baby's
coveted cassette tapes.

“Dean, I know I'm only a kid, and I probably don't qualify for giving you unsolicited
romantic advice, but it's going to go great. I know it will. It's Cas. He's seen you stuff half a
piece of pie in your mouth, at one time, and he still wants to date you. And, yeah, yeah, I
know that it's not a date, but still!

“I know you don't believe me, but get this – Cas looks at you, like Bobby looks at Ellen, and
like Han looks at Leia. He knows you're a beautiful person, and what you're like without all
the extra stuff. He accepts you and I know that you think that you don't deserve good things,
but you do, and you deserve this. You're the best sister anyone could ever have.

“People tell me all of the time that I was raised so well, and that I’m smart, and I'm sweet,
and that I have manners. And that stuff didn't come from Dad, Dean. And Mom died, before
she could ever teach me any of that. All Dad has ever done is teach me what not to ever do or
what not to become. He's all twisted up with anger and hate and he takes it out on us, on you.
And you've never done anything to deserve it.

“You're the one raising me, Dean. You take care of me. You love me. You make sure I'm
okay, and that I have clothes that fit, and that I have food, and that I have a safe place to
sleep. You make sure I can go to school, and that I can have extracurriculars. You make sure
you tell me that I am important and that I do matter. You make believe in myself and that I
am smart enough. You dropped out of school, just so you could take care of me. You tell
everyone you're already an adult, so that you can, when we both know that you shouldn't
have to.
“You've spent my entire life doing the absolute most, so that I could have some semblance of
a childhood. You don't expect anything from me, except for me to try and be a good person.
You give me love and the freedom to just enjoy being alive, Dean. And we both know that it's
a gift that you've never been able to have, yourself.

“I hate that you don't see how incredible you are. I do. So many people do. Cas does. We're
going to have so much fun with the bees today. Just… just try to breathe and let yourself
enjoy it. Dad is gone, for right now, and all that matters is us. This is your day.” Sam
lamented.

I hastily wiped at the tears spilling down my cheeks, suddenly grateful that Meg had picked
out waterproof makeup and had caked my face in setting spray. I sniffled and cried, while I
tried to get myself under control.

I try my best to shield Sammy from what I can. There are so many things that we don't talk
about, because talking doesn't always help, especially if there is nothing that either of us can
do to make it better. But he has this unnerving way of making me feel seen, especially when I
feel like the biggest fraud and failure around. The fact that he doesn’t see me, as I see myself,
is a miracle that I don't think I'll ever deserve, but will forever be grateful for.

“Thank you, Sammy.” I whispered, still crying.

I pulled over on the side of the road and let my head fall forward, so I could rest my head on
the steering wheel. I can't seem to stop crying or to pull myself together. I heard Sam
unbuckle his seatbelt, before I felt him wrap his arms around me. I shook against him, and he
just let me cry.

After a few minutes, my tears trickled to a stop and I felt exhausted. I gave him a squeeze,
before mopping at my face with some napkins from the glove compartment. I blew my nose
and checked my makeup. My eyes were pink, and so was my nose, but that was the only
evidence of my breakdown. I took a deep breath and got back on the road.

I giggled, as Cas and Sam sang along and danced to 'Shake It Off' in the car. I'm not sure the
Impala has ever seen or heard as much Taylor Swift, as she has today. It made me grin. Baby
appreciates good music, and doesn't discriminate on other genres, contrary to what I lead
Sammy to believe. The fact that I'm a closet Swifty isn't lost on him, either. That kid is too
smart for him own good.

“Are you excited to see the bees?” Cas asked me, with a blinding smile. I nodded, still
grinning. “I'm looking forward to sharing this with the both of you.” He added, fondly.

“Me too, Cas.” I promised. He reached over and slipped a hand into mine, as I pulled up to
the apiary. I felt giddy. His hands are so warm, and softer than I could have imagined.
“You look incredible.” He whispered, softly, so Sam wouldn't hear him. I blushed, as I parked
the car.

“So do you.” I told him. He pulled out a small package, and handed it me, after I took the
keys out of the ignition. I looked up at him in surprise. “What is that?” I breathed.

“It's for you. I know that you don't wear a lot of jewelry, but I thought that you might like it.”
He explained. I bit my lip, as I opened the little box. They were a simple pair of golden, stud
earrings, shaped like little bumblebees. “This way, you'll always remember our first date.” He
said, as I pried the earrings out of the case. I put them in my ears and tried to ignore the
burning sensation in my nose or the tears that welled up in my eyes.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and touched his face, before touching my lips to his. He gasped, as I
kissed him. He kissed me back and all rational thought skidded to an abrupt stop. My kiss
with Meg was nothing like this. He makes my entire body sing. I bit down softly on his
bottom lip, and slipped my tongue into his mouth. He quickly took control of the kiss and left
me breathless. I pulled away, when Sam started making puke noises from the backseat.

“Shut up, Sam.” I breathed with a glare. He just stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes. “I
love them. Um. I actually got you something, too, when I was shopping with Meg and
Anna.” I admitted, suddenly embarrassed.

“You didn't need to get me anything, Dean.” Cas said, warmly, still looking at me with those
soulful baby blues and freshly kissed lips.

“Yeah, well, pot meet kettle, Angel.” I griped. I grabbed a small package out of my bag and
handed it to him. “Great minds think alike, and all that.” I laughed, awkwardly. He opened it
slowly, like he was afraid that it would disappear, if he didn't move at a safe, glacial speed.
He plucked the top off of the tiny box and then pulled out the small necklace. It was silver,
with a simple chain, with a small moth pendant on it. “I know that bees are your favorite, so I
thought I would get you my favorite – moths.” I was blushing furiously.

“Oh, Dean, I love it. Put it on me?” He asked, as he handed me the chain. I nodded, and
fastened the necklace around his neck. God, he looked so handsome.

“Take a picture together, with the jewelry showing. Charlie’s orders.” Sam chirped from the
back. I laughed and dutifully pulled out my phone and snapped some selfies with Cas. I
kissed his cheek in one, and then he turned his face last minute, so the camera caught our lip-
lock. Something warm blossomed in my chest, and I knew that I had it bad. I couldn't afford
to fall for anyone, and here I am, tripping like it's my damn job.

A loud knock on the passenger window jolted us back to reality. I looked over and saw a
handsome blonde man smiling at us with a mischievous smirk that rivaled Gabe's. Cas
laughed, and we all got out of the car.

“Cassie, you never said that your friend was a gorgeous, little thing.” He flirted. I rolled my
eyes, good-heartedly.

“Sam, Dean, this is my oldest friend, Balthazar.” Cas introduced.

“Wait, I'm sorry, Cassie. Did you just say that the young lady that you're transfixed with, her
name is Dean?” Balthazar asked in disbelief, as he laughed, at my expense. I rolled my eyes,
and schooled my face with an easy smirk, full of my everyday confidence. This wasn't a new
reaction, but it was one that I was used to. “Are you going to tell me that ‘Sam,’ is short for
‘Samantha,’ next, Love?” He guffawed.

“Yuck it up, Chuckles. You think you're the first? ‘Dean,’ as in short for ‘Deanna,’ after my
grandmother. My dad wanted a son, and got me, instead. I've always gone by Dean. I think it
suits me. Don't you?” I quipped, watching his face, as he took in my reaction. “I know Sam is
a pretty, good-looking kid, but if you make fun of my little bother, again, I’m gonna have to
bruise that pretty face.” I purred, as I patted his cheek.

He looked taken aback, but recovered quickly. I felt Sammy stand taller next to me and saw
Cas start to open his mouth, out of my peripheral.

“I meant no offense, Darling. You're a little spitfire, aren't you? I see why Cassie likes you.
Careful now, bruising my face? I might mistake that for foreplay, Love. Your name does suit
you, now that you mention it.” He mused, grinning gleefully.

“I’m glad we understand each other. I mean, what kind of a name is ‘Balthazar,’ anyway? It's
okay. Cas warned me that you have plenty of shortcomings, and have a lot to overcompensate
for. Pot meet kettle, right? Whether you see it as foreplay or not, you're not my type, but I'd
be happy to give you some advice with the ladies.” I said, with a wink. Scrutinizing him,
warily. He seems genuine.

“Oh, Dean,” Balthazar cooed, “I like you. Let's introduce you lot to the bees, shall we?” He
beamed, offering me his arm. I looped my arm through his, and we lead us through his
property.

“Would it kill you to be nice, Balthy? This is why you never meet my friends.” Cas asked his
beekeeping friend, sharply.

“You have friends, Cassie?” Balthazar feigned surprise.

“Dude, you'd be cool, if you weren't such an absolute dick.” Sam spoke up, instead. I
snickered, and didn't even try to ignore the way my chest puffed up with pride.

“That's my boy,” I praised.

“Oh, is Sammy yours? You look a bit young to have a child of that age?” Balthazar asked, in
lieu of answering the question.

“He may as well be. He's Dean's younger brother, but she has been raising him, since she was
a young child, herself.” Cas bragged. I just blushed.

“Be nice to my sister, if you know what's good for you, Man.” Sammy sounded annoyed and
unimpressed. Balthazar just chuckled.
 “I'll try my best, Darling. Don't get your panties in a twist, Love.” Balthazar said with an air
of indifference.

“You'll succeed, unless you want me to tell Gabriel that you've been unkind to Dean, and ask
him to help me plot the perfect revenge plan.” Cas spoke up. I giggled. It's nice having both
him and Sammy have my back. The banter with the blond british man is nice, too. I never shy
away from a good verbal sparring partner. Oh, yeah, this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

‘When you smile, I melt inside.

I'm not worthy for a minute of your time.
I really wish it was only me and you.
I'm jealous of everybody in the room.
Please don't look at me, with those eyes.
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies.
I dread the thought of our very first kiss, a target that I'm probably gonna miss.’

Chapter End Notes

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 Honey Bee
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “Honey Bee" – Blake Shelton

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘Girl, I been thinking ‘bout us, and you know I ain't good at this stuff.
These feelings piling up, won't give me no rest…

You'll be my soft and sweet.

I'll be your strong and steady.
You'll be my glass of wine.
I'll be your shot of whiskey.
You'll be my sunny day.
I'll be your shade tree.
You'll be my honeysuckle.
I'll be your honey bee…’

Chapter Five:

I went through the motions and did everything Balthazar and Cas directed me to do, with the
bees. As cool as the bees were, it was even better seeing how Cas' face lit up around them
and how much he really loved them. He caught me staring at him, many times, and I didn't
even care. God, this man… I love him, and that's something that I'll take with me to the
grave.

Sammy loved it. My face hurt from smiling and laughing so much. None of the fun facts they
were telling us resonated. Can you blame me? Those baby blues were filled with adoration
and I swear my brain just went blank, when I saw them. I really, really fucking love him.
Fuck my life.

By the time we left, Balthazar had warmed up considerably, and had not stopped flirting with
me. It was fun to poke fun at his expense, and to roast him, a little. Sammy was still acting
hella protective of me, which is kinda new, but I wasn't complaining. I do the same for him,
and he knows I'd have no problems laying out some grown ass dude harassing him – been
there, done that.

Cas and I held hands all day. We found some great sales for clothes for Sam. He just grows so
fast. It's important to me, that he has good, quality clothes that fit him. Don't get me wrong,
we get a ton of our clothes from thrift stores, and sometimes army surplus stores, but being
able to treat him made me feel good.

He never said it, but I know he loves it. His face lights up, whenever he gets something new,
even if it is on the cheaper side. I do my best to make the kid feel as special and as important
as I know he is. I just hate how limited I am. My best isn't always that great or glamorous, but
Sammy never complains. He's seriously the best kid anyone could ever ask for.

We ended up going back to the diner for an early dinner. Cas made sure he opened the door
for me, and let his hand settle on my lower back, as we walked inside. I couldn't help how
much I loved his touch. He gave me a soft kiss, before we sat down at our booth. I blushed
and toyed with the menu, while I tried to avoid all eye contact with anyone. I'm not used to
this, at all.

“So, Cas, are you Dean's boyfriend now? What are your intentions with my sister?” Sammy
asked Cas in a serious voice. I frowned at the change in tone, and glanced up at him,
completely mortified.

“I'm her boyfriend, if she wants me to be. My intentions are to treat her to the best of my
ability – to know her, to spend time with her, to grow with her, to take care of her, to be the
best friend and partner I can be.” Cas answered, just as serious. I looked over at him, as I let
his words and gravely tone wash over me. Is this even my life, right now?

“Um, I do.” I squeaked. They both looked over at me. I was blushing, so hard. I knew my
face was bright red. “I do want you to be my boyfriend. I would love that. I just… We can't
let my dad know. He'll flip a gasket, and that’s a colossal understatement.” I added, biting my
lip, and feeling like shit, that I even had to add that caveat.

“Of course, Dean, I understand.” Cas promised, as he took my hand into his and interlaced
our fingers over the table. I smiled at him. It's impossible not to. How did I get so fucking
lucky? Someone pinch me.

“Good. I'm glad. If you ever hurt her, I'll conspire with Meg, Charlie, and Anna to get my
revenge on you. And I promise that I'll deliver.” Sammy finished his shovel speech and Cas
seemed tickled and impressed.

“Can we eat now?” I asked, changing the subject. “I need some pie.” I announced. They both
laughed.
The day went beautifully. I felt like I was floating all night. I knew that the feeling couldn't
last forever, and that sooner than later, it'd come crashing down, but I was doing my best to
enjoy it.

My phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts. I sighed, when I saw Dad's name pop up on
my caller ID.

“Hey, Dad,” I answered, suddenly somber. I could hear the tell-tale sounds of a bar in the
background.

“Dean, I'm glad you picked up. Listen, I know that I took it a little too far last time, and I'm
sorry.” He breathed. He sounded sober. He didn't slur his words, at all.

“Thanks, Dad, for saying that.” I replied, softly, taken aback.

“Of course, Son,” he replied. I sighed. I don't think he's ever referred to me as his daughter, at
all, during my life. I learned long ago that correcting him, just ends with my ass getting beat
to hell.

“Are you doing okay, Dad?” I asked, shoving everything I actually wanted to say away.

“I came upon a new opportunity, Dean, and I'll need your help for it. We both know that
you're a hard worker, and rightfully so. You should be taking care of your family. That's your
job. You already know that.” Dad explained. My heart plummeted into my stomach. I have an
awful feeling.

“Daddy, I already have a job. I don't have any time for another one. You know that I work
doubles at the diner, like everyday, to pay for our bills, including yours. I'm the only one who
is actually working right now.” I growled, before I could stop myself, despite knowing better.

“Did I ask for backtalk? No, I didn't. Shut the hell up, Deanna, and listen to me. Am I clear?”
He said in a dangerously low voice. I gulped.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Good girl. I wasn't asking you. I was telling you. Stop pretending like you have a choice.
I've entertained your diner job long enough. Your wages ain't cutting it, Kid. You could be
making so much more. Alastair has a job for you, that you will not refuse.” He announced.

My heart plummeted, as I sank to my knees and didn't say anything. Alastair is the one
person in town that everyone avoids. He's dangerous. He pimps people out and doesn't care
much for their well-being. He's particularly violent, and I've caught him making eyes at me,
countless times, when I've had to pick up Dad.

“Alastair?” I wheezed, my head felt like it was spinning.

“Yes, Son, Alastair. He wants you and I can't think of a reason not to let him. He's going to
put us up in a much nicer house and cover all of our expenses. All of my bar tabs will be
covered and he'll forgive my gambling debts. He knows that I have no other way to pay them
off. I won't want for anything. In return, I give him you. Sam will stay with Bobby and Ellen.
I've already talked to them about it.

“You'll be quitting your job at that run-down diner. I canceled the lease at the apartment, and
got all of the money back. Even with the apartment money, it's not even close to what I owe.
You're a good-looking kid, Dean. You look so much like your mother. You whoring yourself
out is inevitable. It's what every woman does. I'm just helping you get a jump start. I don't
want to hear any complaining from you.

“We'll be in a duplex. You get one side and I'll get the other. I gave Bobby and Ellen the rent
money to help with Sam's expenses. You probably won't see him for a while. And if you even
think of running, I will hunt your ass down, and you'll never see your brother, again. Am I
clear?” He growled.

“Yeah,” I breathed, barely hearing myself.

My mind was working on overdrive. Alastair? I don't think I've even had one conversation
with him, but even I know his reputation, and what a scary guy he is. He's the biggest player
in town. Everything here goes through him. His partners run the businesses for him, but he's
still the head honcho. I need to talk to him myself. I need to come up with some sort of plan.

“Good. I'll see you in two days.” He added, before hanging up the phone. I let my head fall in
between my legs and tried to breathe through my panic attack. And just like that, all the
safety I had, everything I've worked so hard to build, all of it, is gone.

‘If you'll be my Louisiana, I'll be your Mississippi.

You'll be my little Loretta.
I'll be your Conway Twitty.
You'll be my sugar, baby.
I'll be your sweet iced tea.
You'll be my honeysuckle.
I'll be your honey bee.

Your kiss just said it all.

I'm glad we had this talk, nothing left to do, but fall in each other's arms…

I'll be your honey bee.’

Chapter End Notes

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 Somewhere I Belong
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “Somewhere I Belong” – Linkin Park

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘When this began, I had nothin' to say,

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me.
I was confused, and I let it all out to find,
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind, inside of me.
But all the vacancy the words revealed, is the only real thing that I've got left to feel.
Nothing to lose -- just stuck, hollow, and alone, and the fault is my own…’

Chapter Six:

I dialed Meg's number, before I could second guess myself. Sammy was already asleep, so I
didn't have to worry about him. I stepped outside of the apartment, and sank to the ground, as
I waited for her to pick up. Alastair is her uncle. Maybe if she goes with me to see him
tonight, I can make it out of there unscathed. Fuck. I'm gonna have to tell her everything.

“Hey Cupcake, everything okay?” Meg answered, sounding much more concerned than I'm
used to.

“Actually, no, it's really not. I promise that I will explain absolutely everything, but I really
need a favor first. You're the only one I can ask, and if it's too much, I won't take it
personally.” I explained, as my voice cracked, and tears threatened to fall. I tried to blink
them away with no avail.

“Anything you need, Sunshine. I'm here.” She replied.

“Thank you. You don't know how much of a relief that is. I… I need to see Alastair tonight. I
know that he owns multiple clubs. Is there any possible way that you can set up a meeting
with him tonight? And go with me? I will tell you absolutely everything you need to know, as
soon as the meeting is done. I swear.” I rambled off hurriedly. I heard her suck in a breath.
“Shit, Dean. Yeah. Okay. Give me a few minutes. I will call you back. And I want to know
everything, after this is done.” She agreed, before hanging up. Tears slipped out and I wiped
them away. It took one day for absolutely everything to go to shit. I just can't catch a fucking
break.

I don't want to move into a more isolated house with my dad. I don't want to leave here. This
little apartment above the diner feels more like home, than anywhere I've been, in such a long
time. Call me selfish, but I don't want to give that up.

“Hey,” I breathed into the phone, after I answered Meg's call, before my phone even finished
the first ring.

“Okay. Listen. He will meet with us. He knows we're coming. I'm swinging by the pick you
up. Sam will be okay sleeping in the apartment, while we're gone. We're going by Leviathan,
since that's where he is tonight. Usually, they have a dress code, but I know the bouncer, and
he's been instructed to let us in and not give us any trouble.

“Bring your ID. Whatever you tell me, and whatever happens there, stays between us, until
you tell me otherwise, okay? I don't know what kind of trouble you’re in, but try to keep your
nerves under wraps. He'll just thrive on your fear. I'm just about to your place now. Whatever
you're wearing is fine.” She said, before hanging up.

I clambered to my feet, and went inside to grab my bag, before locking up behind me. True to
her word, Meg pulled up, just as I was walking down the stairs outside of the apartment. I
took a deep breath and got into her car. My brain was still spinning. I don't even really know
what to say. I know he didn't expect me to be the one to make the first move, but maybe that's
a good thing. I can let him keep underestimating me. I'll use that to my advantage.

The ride was quiet, and went by far too quickly. We were parking and walking up to the club
doors, way before I was ready. The bouncer looked like he wanted to say something, but Meg
just rolled her eyes at him.

“Down, Fido. I know he told you that we were coming. I'd hate to have to tell my dear uncle
that you were giving his favorite niece a hard time.” Meg mused, leveling him with her
coldest stare.

“Do you always have to be such a pain in the ass? Get inside, Kid.” He rumbled. Meg just
smirked, at his exasperation.

“At least I'm consistent,” she quipped, before we breezed by him. Meg grabbed my hand in
hers and led me inside. I've never been here. Usually Dad frequents places that aren't this
nice. This is the kind of place that is expensive and drips with sin.

We went up some stairs, and the air got considerably colder. It didn't take us long, until we
were outside of his office. Meg knocked, and gave my hand a squeeze, before the door
opened.

Alastair looked down at me, and made no effort to hide the fact that he was taking inventory
of my body. I stood still, and forced myself not to fidget under his scrutiny. I didn't realize
that he was so tall.

“Meg, Dear, do come in. Dean, it was such a pleasant surprise to hear that you wanted to see
me. Come, let's all sit down.” He said, in a low command. He smiled, and it was more
predatory and teeth, than anything. I nodded once, before walking inside, after Meg. We sat
down in armchairs in front of a fireplace. I'm surprised that he didn't make us sit at his desk.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” He asked, after shutting the door behind us, and taking a
seat in the only other armchair.

“Mr. Alastair, I know that you and I haven't met before, but my father called me tonight, and
I thought it might be best for us to get acquainted.” I told him, in a steady voice. I watched
him, as he considered my words. He was intrigued. I knew he would be.

“And how can I help you, Miss Winchester?” He questioned, as he leaned closer. I fought the
urge to bite my lip and to dig my nails into the arm of the chair.

“I would like to know the terms and conditions. I need to know what's expected of me. And I
wanted to know if we could come to an agreement. I know that you brokered some type of
deal with my father. I think that you’ll come to realize, that I'm the only adult in the family.

“He's content drinking his life away, and I didn't even know that he had started gambling. He
certainly doesn't have the money to. I don't know where he even got, what he had. I've been
the only one bringing any money in and paying the bills.

“Now, he's taking Sammy away, because that's the only leverage he has, and he knows it. You
know it. I'm not trying to get out of anything or pull a fast one on you, but I do need you to
deal with me, moving forward, instead of my father, so that there isn't any
miscommunication.” I explained. Alastair's smirk grew into a grin. He looked positively
gleeful.

“I underestimated you, Pet.” He purred. “I find that agreeable. As for what's expected of you,
that will likely change, the longer that you're with me. But everything will always be
explained, so you needn't worry about that.

“You're somewhat of a hot commodity. Lilith and Azazel have had their eye on you. Lilith
and I have talked it over, and we think it best that we reserve you for only the high rollers,
who are willing to pay top dollar.

“That said, we're going to keep you out of reach for a while. I want you to bartend and help
out with the clubs, on a more personal basis. You will help smooth things over with patrons.
No one will give you trouble. I will make it clear that no one is to touch or bother you. Is it
fair to assume that you're still a virgin?” He pressed. I gave him a stiff nod and he just
grinned.

“I thought that might be the case. There is nothing quite like a virgin. They're always so
sweet. Now Dean, I know what your ID says, and I know what it says on the paperwork that
I've acquired from your father, but I need to know the truth from you. How old are you
really?” He questioned. For the first time, I squirmed in my chair.
“I'm sixteen. I turned sixteen, right after we moved here. I dropped out of school and didn't
re-enroll, so I could pay the bills and take care of Sammy.” I whispered, looking down. I
knew my face was flushed and I couldn't handle seeing Meg's reaction.

“Darling Girl, you just keep getting better. Don't you?” He mused. I looked up at him and
didn't say anything. What is there to even say with that? “Don't worry. I won't out you. It's
just better for me to know these things, so I'm prepared in any circumstance. What did your
father tell you, when he spoke to you?”

“He said that he arranged for Sammy to stay with Bobby and Ellen. He said that he ended our
lease early, and gave that money to them, to help with Sammy's expenses. I don't know how
true that is. We both know how he is with money, especially money that isn't his to spend.

“He said that you had a duplex for us, and that he would get one side, and I would get the
other. He said that his debts were going to be forgiven and he would want for nothing, and in
exchange he was giving me to you, to whore me out.” I replied, gruffly. Shock flashed on his
face, but was gone so quickly, that I wasn't sure if I had imagined it.

“He said that, did he?” He breathed, pursing his lips together in distaste. I nodded. “I do
intend for you to use your body some, yes, that's true, but not as much as I'm sure he made it
seem. Your innocence is something I like about you, and I intend for you to keep it, as long as
possible, within reason. Your intimate interaction will be seldom. You will be sought after.
People will pay more.

“I'm good at what I do, and at running my businesses. If you are good to me, I will be good to
you. I do have a duplex ready. That much is true. I thought you might like a break from your
father. He's made it abundantly clear to the entire town, that he cannot, and will not, keep his
hands to himself. I don't want him to continue, especially now that you are mine.

“I will be honest with you, Dean, as long as you are honest with me. I don't think that you or I
will have any issue there. From what I can surmise, you're loyal and a hard worker. You learn
quickly, and you can charm your patronage. You're street smart and quick on your feet. Those
are all things that I need in an employee.

“You will still be allowed to see your brother, so long as you do as I ask. You're not my
prisoner. I want you to be comfortable. You will begin your training in two days. That should
give you a bit of time to get your affairs in order.” He explained. I bit my lip, as I thought
over what he had told me.

“Are all of those things set in stone?” I asked, looking up at him. He looked like he was
considering my words.

“What would you like to amend, Little One?”

“If I have somewhere else to stay, somewhere that my father doesn't know about, can I stay
there instead? I can give you the address. Even if I did stay on the other side of a duplex, that
wouldn't be enough to keep him away from me. If I tried to lock him out and ignore him, I
would just piss him off more, and he wouldn't stop, until he got his way.” I clarified. His face
was thoughtful, before he locked eyes with mine.
“I find that agreeable. Is this place safe?” He asked. I gave him a little smile.

“It is. It's a little apartment above the diner. It's hidden, so unless you know it’s there, you
can't find it.” I detailed for him. He nodded. “I, um, well, I have a boyfriend that my father
doesn't know about. It's super new, but, is that something you need to know about?” I asked,
nervously. Alastair smirked at me.

“I ask that you don't get too physical with him, until after you've been taken to bed, with a
client. They will pay top dollar for you. You're so sweet and tempting. A young, little,
virginal teenager. They'll eat you up, Pet. But, if it won't affect your work, then I see no
reason that you can't see him. I will need to know who it is. And we will need to get you
some new clothes. Rowena will take you to get a new wardrobe this week.” He agreed. It felt
like a weight was lifted off of me.

“I… Sorry. It's Castiel Novak. I'm not good with words. I really appreciate you taking the
time to meet with me tonight, and for agreeing to work with me, in lieu of my father. Um.
Was he right in saying that I wouldn't need to give him money, anymore?” I asked the last
question that I had. He nodded.

“Yes, he will be given an expense account. He will learn what rules I have for him and what I
simply will not tolerate. If he can't abide by them, he will be punished, not you. The only one
he cares about is himself, and harming you or your brother wouldn't change that. You are
already here, to continue to clean up his mess.

“You will be paid for your time and your work. You will enjoy a life of luxury, as long as you
keep me happy, and I have a feeling that you will. You will, of course, be punished, at my
discretion, should you not comply with my rules. And if you try to leave me, or to turn me in,
I will kill your brother. And we wouldn't want that, would we?” He outlined his terms. I
gulped and felt white-hot fear shoot through my body.

“I understand, Sir.” I breathed. He clapped his hands together, and stood up.

“I will have a contract drawn up on Monday, ready for you to sign. Until then, we'll seal it
with a kiss.” He decided. I glanced at Meg, and her face was unreadable.

I nodded and stood up. He pulled me to him, before I could even take a step. His lips were on
mine, before I could move. He had a hand on the back of my head, and the other gripping my
ass. I kissed him, back, before trying to wiggle away. He let me go, and handed me a phone.

“This has all the numbers you'll need programmed in it. This is yours to use. You will get
keys to the clubs on Monday. I will see you then. If you will excuse me, I have business to
tend to.” He excused us, as a knock sounded on his door.

“Goodbye, Uncle.” Meg said, as we left his office. She grabbed my hand, again, and I
followed her out of the club.
“Okay, spill.” Meg demanded, as we parked outside the diner. I nodded and all of the words
began to tumble out of my mouth. I told her everything, even about the demons. She gaped at
me, and my throat hurt from spending so much time talking.

“That's everything.” I whispered, worrying my bottom lip.

“I already knew about the demons. Everyone in town does. They take part in running things.
It's one of those things that no one talks about. Most of us have anti-possession tattoos to
prevent being controlled. But, shit, Dean. You’ve been taking care of your brother, since your
mom died and you're only sixteen?!” She exclaimed.

“Yes,” I breathed. She was mulling over everything.

“You have to tell Clarence and Gabe, at least a doctored version and the age part.” She
stipulated. I nodded.

“I will. I promise.” I agreed.

“Anna and I will come and pick up Sam tomorrow, so you can talk to them, together. Charlie
was saying something about a Star Wars exhibit in the city. We'll make a day of it. I don't
think there is a way out of working for my uncle, but you're not alone in it.

“You have us and we all love you. I know that you've been dealt an awful hand and I hate it
for you, but you will get through this. At the very least, you'll be away from your shitty,
deadbeat dad. We'll swing by around 11, and we'll take him to lunch first. You'll have plenty
time, okay?” Meg decided. I nodded and wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her,
tightly.

“I am so grateful for you and your friendship. I'm so sorry that I lied to you.” I whimpered, as
I sobbed against her.

“I'm not mad at ya, Cupcake. You were doing what you had to do to survive. I'm grateful for
you, too. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm here.” She promised. I nodded and just held her
for a while. Things are going to get worse, but maybe, someday, they'll be okay.

‘I wanna heal.
I wanna feel,
what I thought was never real.
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long –
Erase all the pain, till it's gone.
I wanna heal.
 I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real.
I wanna find something I've wanted all along – somewhere I belong.’

Chapter End Notes

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 Falling Fast
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “Falling Fast” – Avril Lavigne

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘I woke up and saw the sun today.

You came by without a warning.
You put a smile on my face.
I want that for every morning.

What is it I'm feelin’, 'cause I can't let it go?

If seein' is believin’, then I already know.’

Chapter Seven:

Sleep didn't come easily. I tossed and turned and stared at the ceiling. How could I sleep,
when almost every single aspect of my life, was outside of my control? I didn't know how the
conversation would go today. I hoped that it would go something like my conversation with
Meg went, last night.

My nerves were shot and I would give anything to smoke a joint, right now. I had a weed
cartridge tucked away in my vape for safe keeping, hidden in the closet here. If I can get
through tomorrow unscathed, then that will be my reward. Maybe then I’d actually be able to
sleep.

Before I knew it, I was pulling on clothes, because the girls would be here to pick up Sam,
soon. I told him that the girls planned a day with him, and he was tickled by it. I decided to
wait to talk to him, until after I talked to Gabe and Cas. He knew there was something
weighing on my mind, but didn't push me about it, for once in his life. I just hoped that Dad
hadn't said anything to him, either.

I looked over my appearance in the mirror. I was in an old, ratty tank top, my softest flannel,
and my thickest leggings. I shoved my feet into my boots and grabbed my phone. A knock
sounded on the door, as I was grabbing my bag. Sam answered the door with a smile on his
face. God, I'm gonna miss him. It's gonna be so freaking quiet, by myself.

“What's up, Bitches?!” Charlie chirped, happily. I wasn't surprised that Meg had roped her
into their plans. And we all know that Charlie would never turn down anything sci-fi related.
Anna waved, with a laugh, and Meg grinned.

“Hey Guys, thanks for taking him.” I greeted them. Sam whipped around and looked at me,
his face dripping with suspicion.

“Are you sure you don't wanna come, Dean? I know how much you love Han.” He asked. I
shook my head.

“Next time, okay? I'm gonna meet up with Cas.” I told him. He accepted my answer and
stopped his inquisition.

“I get it. You want me out of your hair, so you can make out with your boyfriend. I'll take lots
of pictures.” He decided. I laughed, and followed everyone out the door. I locked up behind
us. I walked them down to Anna's car, and hugged them all, saving Sammy for last. I ruffled
his hair, because I know how much he hates it. “Bye Dean! Love you!” He gave me an extra
tight squeeze and picked me up off of my feet. I giggled, and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“Have fun, Kiddo. I love you. I expect lots of pictures.” I told him, as he climbed into the car.

“We will!” He promised. I waved, before going into the diner. I saw Cas and Gabe waiting
for me, at the counter. It's starting to get busy with the lunch rush.

“Hey, Deano!” Gabe sang, as I walked inside. I smiled at them both. Cas kissed me hello, as I
greeted them.

“Hey, could we chat in your office? I don't really want an audience or to be overheard?” I
asked. Gabe frowned and nodded. Cas gave me a look that I couldn't decipher.

“Sure, come on back, Kiddo.” Gabe agreed. We walked into his office and sat down. It wasn't
big or fancy, but it doesn’t need to be. He closed the door and looked at me. “What's this all
about, Dean? You're kinda scaring us here.” He joked.

“Are you alright, Dean?” Cas asked me. I shook my head.

“No, not really. I… I'm going to ask that you guys wait to say anything, until I'm done. Okay?
Then, I'll answer any questions you might have. And, please know that I'm so sorry that I had
to lie to you. It wasn't done with malicious intent.” I told them, quietly.

I shook out my hands, to try and still my trembling. I took a shaky breath, and Cas reached
over and took one of my hands in his. He gave me a gentle squeeze and I took a slow breath,
instantly feeling a little better.

“There are some things that you don't know about me and about Sammy. The biggest thing
you don't know is that I'm not eighteen. I just turned sixteen, right after moved to town. I
dropped out of school a year ago, so I could start working.
“Getting a good fake ID wasn't hard. Dad has always had sketchy friends. One of his friends
worked at a DMV and just changed the year I was born and got me the ID. Amending my
records by two years wasn't hard. If you really went digging, you could probably find my
actual birth certificate, but otherwise, I've been pretty safe.

“Um, Meg told me that everyone in town knows about demons, but doesn’t talk about them?”
My voice trailed off, as I looked at Cas for confirmation. Both he and Gabe nodded an
affirmative. “Okay, so, a demon killed my mom. Sammy had just been born. The house fire
happened, but that demon was the cause of it. Dad handed me Sammy that night, and I've
been taking care of him, ever since. I was four, when that happened.

“Dad moved us around a lot. We stayed in different motels, or the truck, as he tried to track it.
Somewhere along the way, I'm not sure where, hunting turned into an obsession. But, he's not
good at it anymore. He just drinks, so much. He's been violent, since Mom died. He doesn't
hit Sammy, though. It's only ever been me. I look just like Mary, so he says, and he hates me
for it. So, I'm the one who gets punished.

“I didn't know that the drinking had also included gambling, and I have no idea how he gets
the money to gamble with. Lord knows that he doesn't actually work for it. I never ask him
where he goes, when he leaves, and he doesn't tell me. I don't need to know. I just need to
know that I'm taking care of Sammy, which I always do.

“He called me last night with some bad news, bad for me, good for him. He got in really deep
with Alastair. I didn't know that. I didn't even know that they had ever crossed paths. I've
never picked him up at any of Alastair's establishments, or had to settle any of his bar tabs
there. But, I guess that doesn't really mean much.

“Somehow, he accrued an astronomical amount of debt with Alastair, and when given the
choice, he agreed to give him me, as the solution. I asked Meg to set up a meeting with her
uncle, last night, so I could get the actual details myself. I don't trust my father. I never have,
rightfully so.

“Dad arranged for Sammy to go live with Bobby and Ellen. Now that Jo is eighteen, they
have the time. Dad ended the lease on our place early, and got the security deposit, and two
months of rent back. He said that he had given it to Bobby and Ellen to help with Sam's
expenses. I don't know if that's true or not. I haven't spoken with them yet. Since it was my
dad's name on the lease, he could do that, even though all of the money came from me.

“Alastair said that I'll be bartending and I would be a face in front of the house. I’ll be
helping things run smoothly. He thinks that me being a fixture, will bring in more clientele.
I… He knows how old I am, and that I'm completely inexperienced with sex. He said that just
added to my appeal. He said that I wouldn't have to worry about intimate clients for a while.
He said that it would just up the ante. He alluded to getting top dollar from one of his high-
rollers, for my first time, but that those types of interactions would be few and far between.

“Alastair agreed to only deal with me, and not my father. He said that if my father couldn't or
wouldn't act right, then he would be punished. Alastair said that as long as I'm good to him,
that he would be good to me. If I don't abide by his rules, then I will be punished. And if I try
to run, or if I turn him in, then he'll kill Sammy. He… He said that he would take care of me,
and I don't really have a choice of not going along with it.

“He agreed that I could still live above the diner, if that's still okay. But, he won't let me work
here, not that I'd have the time to. He also knows about Cas. He's okay with us dating, if you
still want to… He just cautioned on the physical stuff. I start training to tend bar, tomorrow.
Everything is happening really fast, and I'm just trying to keep it together.

“I haven't told Sam, yet. The only reason I'm not fighting it, is because of Sam. Him living
with Ellen and Bobby will give him stability and extra protection. They're hunters. I'll feel
better with him there. If I'm living alone, I just have to worry about myself. Dad doesn't know
that there is an apartment here. He won't know where I'm living.

“I know it's not ideal, but it seems like this is as good as I can get things, right now.
Eventually, I'll find a way out of this. I just… right now, I have to play along and stay alive,
and keep Sammy safe. I'm so incredibly sorry that I lied to you both – to everyone. Whatever
you want to happen, I'll respect that. I don't expect you to be okay with this – with me. I
just… Please know that I would never, ever intentionally hurt you.” I finished, unsure how I
felt about everything being out in the open.

I felt my nose burning and I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep from crying. I sniffled and
wiped hastily at the tears falling. I hiccupped and start to sob, mortified. I pulled my hand
free from Cas' and let my face fall into my hands. Cas wrapped his arms around me, and
placed kisses on top of my head. I don't deserve it.

“I'm not upset, Dean. Nothing you said changes how I feel about you. Sex isn't something I
wanted to rush. I'm fine with waiting forever, or not indulging, if it never happens. I don't
care about that. I care about you. I hate this for you. I don't know how to help you, but I'm
here, always.” He promised. Cas' sweet words just made me cry harder.

“Deano, I'm not mad either. It explains a lot and I'm sorry that I can't do more to help you.
You can stay in the apartment, rent-free. It's been yours, since the first time you used it, as far
as I'm concerned. I might have an idea about something to help long-term, but I won't involve
you, not until I know it's concrete and is one hundred percent happening. It's better that no
one else knows about it. That will keep you safe.

“And if you do need something, I'm here, and I'll do whatever I possibly can to help. I won't
tell anyone that you're staying here. Your business is your own and it'll stay that way. We care
about you, kiddo.” Gabe echoed Cas' sentiment. My chest ached and my heart hurt with how
much gratitude and love I was feeling. “I'll whip up some food for you two, and then why
don't you two go upstairs and spend some time together.” Gabriel suggested. I nodded, as my
tears started to slow.

“I'll get you both my new number. I still have the prepaid, but it'll be for emergencies, and for
anything that Alastair can't know about. Just be mindful that whatever is said, he'll be able to
see.” I admitted.

“That's fine, Kiddo. I promise.”

 I was laying in bed with Cas. He rubbing my back and I was lying with my head on his chest.
I like listening to his heartbeat. It soothes me.

“Are you okay?” I whispered. He didn't stop his ministrations.

“With this?” He asked. I nodded. I relaxed, as I felt the vibrations from his voice. “I am,
Dean. I know that you'll have to do things that you don't want to do, but that doesn't change
how I feel about you. They're taking your choice away. I… It means more than you could
possibly know that I'm the one thing that you are able to choose. I care about you, very
much.” He replied. I smiled, against him. I rubbed his stomach with my thumb and felt
butterflies in mine.

“You are, Cas. I would choose you, everyday.” I promised. I leaned up, so I could press a kiss
on his mouth. Our mouths moved against each other, lazily. We were safe here, in this bubble,
in this moment. Despite everything else going to hell, this is pretty friggin' close to perfect.

‘I'm falling fast.

I hope this lasts.
I'm falling hard for you.
I say, let's take a chance, take it while we can.
I know you feel it, too…

Doesn’t matter what we do.

You make everything seem brighter.
I never knew I needed you, like a sad song needs a sea of lighters.’

Chapter End Notes

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 I Will Not Bow
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “I Will Not Bow” – Breaking Benjamin

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘Now the dark begins to rise.

Save your breath.
It's far from over.
Leave the lost and dead behind.
Now's your chance to run for cover.
I don't want to change the world, I just want to leave it colder.
Light the fuse and burn it up.
Take the path that leads to nowhere.

All is lost again, but I'm not giving in.

I will not bow.

I will not break.
I will shut the world away.
I will not fall.
I will not fade.
I will take your breath away.’

Chapter Eight:

Cas offered to stay with me, while I spoke to Sam, for moral support. I didn't know if I
wanted him in the room or not. He went down to the diner, when Charlie had texted to say
that they were parking to drop Sam off. My stomach was in knots and I had to focus on my
breathing, so I didn't throw up my lunch. I knew that wouldn't help anything.
“Hey Dean, everything okay?” Sam asked, pulling me from my thoughts, as he clambered
inside the apartment and shut the door behind him.

I sighed and beckoned for him to join me at the small dining table in the kitchen. He
immediately looked concerned and suspicious. He's a bright kid. I can't fault him for it. I
would be doing the exact same, in his shoes.

“We need to talk, Kiddo.” I told him. His eyes scoured our surroundings. His eyes landed on
the things that I had packed for him, and new phone I bought for him, right next to mine,
from Alastair.

“What's going on? What did Dad do?” He demanded, sitting down across from me. I took a
deep breath and fought to keep my tears at bay. I hate this. I fucking hate this.

“Just let me get this out, okay? You can say whatever you need to, once I'm done. I will hear
you out. I promise. I need you to know that I've exhausted every option and every possibility
and that this is happening, even though neither of us want it to. And I want you to know that
you will be safe. I will see you as often as I can.” I tried to explain, as my voice broke. I
hastily wiped at the tears that slipped down my cheeks. Fuck. “I'm going to do my best to
make sure that I'm safe, and that Dad won't be able to interfere with either of us, and that the
only person he’ll be able to hurt, going forward, is himself.”

My eyes searched Sam's face for a reaction. He looked devastated. He knows that whatever
news I have is bad. I know that nothing I tell him will make him feel any better. I waited for
some kind of acknowledgment. Sam gave me a curt nod and kept his lips pressed in a firm,
thin line. I looked up and curses under my breath, as I used my shirt sleeve to soak up the rest
my tears.

“You're going to live with Ellen and Bobby. Jo still lives there, so there will be someone
closer to your age around. Dad told me that he gave money to them to help with any expenses
for you. I really don't believe him or that. I haven't spoken to them, yet. But tonight, we will
all sit down and discuss it, when I take you over there.

“I have money for you to keep with you. It's yours, for you, for spending money. Get things
you like. Don't use it for something you need. You've never had that before. Okay? That's
what this money is. I have money I'm going to give to Bobby and Ellen myself. Dad isn't to
touch it.

“He doesn't need to know I gave you anything. We aren't going to tell him. I'm cutting him
out of any decisions. If he comes to you or calls you and he's on his bullshit, you will know
that none of it is true. If there is anything, you will hear it from me, or I will have someone I
trust tell you.

“This phone is for you. I got you the best case for durability that I could find. Keep your
prepaid for emergencies. This phone plan is in my name. Dad can't get access to it. Don't give
it to him. He has your prepaid number, and if it's an absolute emergency, he can get a hold of
Ellen or Bobby. I don't want him taking this from you. He has no right to it.
“I programmed my new number into it for you, along with the number to my prepaid. I have
a new number from work, that will be my primary, but if it's something you can't say on
there, text my prepaid. I have it and will check it. If there is something emergent, and it can't
be explained on my work number, since I think that will be monitored, text ‘Pennywise,’ and
I'll know. Okay?

“This is all happening, because Dad has been gambling. I didn't know about it. I didn't know
that he got in really deep with Alastair at his clubs, gambling, but he did. Alastair gave Dad
the option of giving me to him to work for him, and he took it.

“He didn't discuss it with me, first. I found out last night. I asked Meg to set up a meeting, so
I could sit down and talk to Alastair myself. I spoke with him. He agreed to keep his dealings
with me, only to me. If Dad causes anymore problems, he will be responsible, not us. He'll
have to suffer whatever consequences.

“Sammy, if I don't do this, or if I run, they will kill you. I'm not trying to scare you, because I
would never let that happen. Okay? You're safe. That's why all of this is happening now.

“I'll be tending to the bar at his clubs, and helping him run things. I'm guessing like a
manager position or something. That's really all that I know there. But, I'll be living here. I'm
not leaving. Dad ended the lease early and got the security deposit and two months worth of
rent money back. He said that he gave it to Bobby, but I doubt it. When has he ever been
forthcoming, right?

“I have a key for you, to this apartment. You'll be safer with Ellen and them. They've been
hunters. They know what to look for. Don't take off your anti-possession charm, ever. Don't
mention where I'm living. It's better, if everyone believes that you don't know. You can just
tell them that when you're meeting me, you're meeting me at the diner. We're always there, so
it's not too hard to believe. Alastair gave Dad a duplex. It was meant for one side to be his,
and one side mine, but he agreed that I would be safer from Dad elsewhere.

“Meg, Cas, and Gabe all know everything, like all of it. They know I'm sixteen, and they
know not to repeat it. I'm going to have to do things that neither of us likes, Sam. I can't avoid
that. I have to play the part, until I can figure out a way to get out. Other than that, it's better
that I don't give you any specific details.

“I'm so sorry that I couldn't figure a way out of us having to separate. It's the last thing I ever
want to do, ya know? You're my baby brother, but you're my kid. I feel like I'm abandoning
you, and I hate it. I love you, so fucking much. And I'm so damn proud of you, Sammy. God,
if nothing else in my life ever worked out, I've always been fine with that, because you're
safe, and I knew you were taken care of. I know that I don't do as good of a job as Mom
would have, but I try.

“If for some reason you can't get to me, go to Gabe or Meg or Cas. Okay? I trust them. They
care about both of us. We're gonna get through this. I don't know how, but we will. We're
fighters, and we're gonna survive, just like we've survived everything else life and Dad have
ever thrown at us.” I explained, as I openly cried, unable to hide it. Sam was crying, too.
I got up and wrapped my arms around him. We shook together, until we were both cried out. I
sniffled and wiped my face with my sleeves. He turned away and did the same.

“I'm mad, Dean, but not at you. I hate him. I hate Dad for everything. I hate this. Things were
finally good. I won't do anything rash. I'll let you handle it. I hate it, but I can't make things
worse for you. We'll get through this, right? I'm just as proud of you, as you are of me. I love
you, Dean, more than anything. I always will.” He promised. I did my best not to cry, again.

“Thank you, Sammy. Can you make sure you have everything you need? I'll take you over,
after we say goodbye to everyone downstairs.”

Things went as smoothly as they could go. As it turns out, there will a lot more tears.
Everyone working at the diner cried. I cried. Sammy cried. Cas cried. The girls cried.

When we sat down with Bobby, Ellen, and Jo, we learned that my suspicions were correct.
Dad hadn't given them any money. They promised not to give what I was giving them to Dad.
I gave them a more abridged version of events, and they looked as pissed as I feel. I
explained the phone situation to them and they took it in stride. They promised to keep Sam
safe.

By the time I was driving back to the diner, I was crying so hard, that I had to pull over,
before I could make it home. When I did finally pull up, Cas wasted no time in wrapping me
up in his arms. I dissolved into a new fit of tears. He picked me up and carried me upstairs
through the hidden entry to the apartment. We didn't say anything. He just took off my shoes
and tucked me into bed, before crawling in with me.

I've been focusing on listening to his heartbeat and the sensation of feeling him breathe, to
help center me.

Sam texted to let me know he was safe and okay. He sent pictures of his new bedroom, even
though I had seen it, when I dropped him off. Bobby gave me a key to the house and strict
instructions to use the guest bedroom at any time. That helped.

Rowena texted me, someone who works with Alastair, and she told me that she would be
handling my training tomorrow. She let me know to come to Inferno at noon and to plan on
being out for the day, whatever that means.

“You're thinking too hard.” Cas rumbled. I sighed and just nodded, against his chest. I knew
he was right. “You should try to sleep, Honey.” He added. The endearment made my
eyebrows rise, as I looked up at him.

“Because of the bees?” I guessed. The corners of his mouth quirked and curved into a soft
smile that he seems to save just for me. “Only you could make bee vomit sound so sweet,
Angel.” I breathed. He leaned down and kissed me. I felt all of the tension leave my body.
 “We should sleep.” He said against my lips. I nodded and stayed wrapped up in him. He
pressed his lips to my forehead, as I slipped a leg between his. Maybe with him here, I’ll
actually be able to rest.

‘Watch the end through dying eyes.

Now the dark is taking over.
Show me where forever dies.
Take the fall, and run to heaven.

All is lost again, but I'm not giving in…

And I'll survive, paranoid.

I have lost the will to change, and I am not proud, coldblooded fake.
I will shut the world away.

Open your eyes.’

Chapter End Notes

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 Man's World
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “Man's World” – MARINA

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘Cheeks are rosy, like a Boucher cherub.

I'm a strawberry soda.
Raise my lashes to heaven, stars in my hair, running like a waterfall.
Clouds in the whites of our eyes, we saw it all.
Burnt me at the stake, you thought I was a witch, centuries ago.
Now, you just call me a bitch...

Spring appears, when the time is right.

Women are violets coming to light.
Don't underestimate the making of life.
The planet has a funny way or stopping a fight.’

Chapter Nine:

I groaned, as I slowly woke up to Cas peppering my face and neck with kisses. My breath
hitched, when his mouth fused to my neck and he started to suck. I gasped and arched my
back just enough to press my chest firmly against his. The sensations from his mouth was
doing things to me that I had never felt before. God, I'm so inexperienced.

Cas’ hand inched its way up my torso and came to rest on my hip, over my panties. He
moved his mouth off of me, so he could search my face to make sure this was okay. He raised
an eyebrow and I nodded. He gripped my hip and fused his mouth to mine.

My response was immediate. I kissed him back and opened my mouth. He slipped his tongue
into my mouth and kept his touch PG. I pressed myself closer to him and moved his hand to
my backside, as the kiss turned filthy. It was toe-curling and needy, and I was putty against
him. I ground myself against him, as he hooked one of my legs over his waist, so I could
press closer. I moaned, when I felt him hard against me.
I moved my mouth away from his, sucking in greedy mouthfuls of air. He shifted, so he hit
just right with the friction. I whined and barely sounded human. His eyes were so dark, as
they bore into mine. I licked my lips and watched him, unfamiliar with the thick wave of
want filling my body. I've never even touched myself like this before. I've never had the drive
to.

“Is this okay, Dean?” He rasped. I nodded, still moving my hips.

“Yes,” I moaned. I bit down on my lip and his gaze flicked to my mouth.

“Do you want to stop?” He asked. I shook my head.

“Don't stop, Cas.” I breathed. He took that as permission to kiss me, again. I gasped against
him. My body felt like it was on fire. His touch feels so fucking good. He pulled me taut
against him, and matched his thrusts with mine. My mouth fell open, as I felt something
inside of me coil and snap. I wailed and clutched his shoulders. He jutted forward and cursed,
before dropping to the bed, letting his weight fall onto me. “What was that?” I asked, still
feeling aftershocks of whatever that was.

“Dry humping?” He supplied. I nodded, still trying to get my bearings.

“I've never felt that before.” I whispered, embarrassed.

“An orgasm?” He asked, propping himself up on an elbow, so he could look at me.

“I came?” I guessed, as it registered. “God, I'm so dumb. No, I've never… before. I've never
felt the need. I know I've heard a lot of people talk about sex and being horny, and I know
what it is, but I've never felt it. On a good day, my body hurts and is healing. I guess staying
alive and keeping Sammy safe just took precedence.” I muttered. Cas gave me a soft look of
adoration and it made me melt, all over again.

“You know that's okay, right? There is no right time or age. There isn't any expectation here.
You can tell me to stop anything and I'll never get upset with you. I hope you know that. I
wasn't… what we did wasn't planned. I was more than happy to just get to kiss you, and
make out, before we had to start our day.” He promised. I smiled at him, as my heart
threatened to beat out of my chest. He's perfect.

“I know. I do, Cas. And it's as far as I want to go… and I'm glad that it was with you. I've
never felt safe enough to… you know.” I whispered, as I blushed scarlet. He touched his
forehead to mine and moved us, so I was laying on him, and he wasn't crushing me. He
wrapped his arms around me and held me for a while. “You can shower first, if you want.” I
offered.

“In a minute, I want to enjoy holding you for a little while first.”
I gave myself one more once-over, before getting out of the Impala. I opted to wear my hair
up, in a high ponytail. I had on black leggings, combat boots, a dark Henley with most of the
buttons undone, a push-up bra, smoky eyes, and a bold crimson lip. I opened the door to the
club and saw a pretty redheaded woman waiting for me. She smiled, as she saw me. I gave an
awkward wave.

“Jesus, you're pretty.” I marveled, before I could stop myself. Her smile widened and her
eyes shone with fondness.

“Aren't you a sweet one, Dearie. I'm going to enjoy working with you, I can tell. Let me take
you under my wing. You'll have the masses groveling at your feet, and rightfully so. A
gorgeous, little thing like you will easy to train. I've heard that you're quite the spitfire. It
seems Alastair was right to pair us, birds of a flock and all that. We just need to have the men
think that they run things, when really, we're the ones with the power.” She said,
nonchalantly.

I liked her, instantly. I knew that I should have some reservations and I won't give my secrets
out, but maybe a friend wouldn't be so bad to have.

Her fingertips brushed over the small anti-possession tattoo I have, below the right side of my
hairline on the back of my neck. She tutted in approval. She stepped back and circled me
slowly, taking inventory of my person. She gingerly picked up my hands and traced over
them with her fingers.

“Do you ever wear gloves, Dear?” She asked, like she was trying to figure something out.

“I'm not opposed.” I said, slowly, not sure where she was going with her train of thought. She
beamed at me.

“Wonderful.” She exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “Well, let's go. We have people to
see, places to go, shopping to do, and charms to set. I'll have you shadow me tonight, but you
need to look the part, and I want you protected, before we're thrown to the wolves.” She
decided.

“You're a witch?” I asked, surprised. She nodded, merrily, taking no offense. “What charms?”
I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“I prefer fingerless, leather gloves, with cast iron knuckles inside them. A simple spell makes
them indestructible, comfortable, and a bit more effective. Should you need to throw a punch,
it will be to your benefit. And should you encounter a vengeful spirit, the iron will allow you
to defend yourself against them. I've found a journal that used to belong to Samuel Colt and I
found a way to have them lay damage to demons, too.” She explained. I nodded, mulling
over her words. That's so friggin' impressive.

“That's genius. Dad and I just used to load rock salt into shotguns for ghosts.” I mused. She
looked thoughtful at that.

“That's not a bad plan, either, but I always like to be more prepared. Us girls can never be too
safe. These boys have it easy. We're at a disadvantage. We let them underestimate us, and
then we desecrate them. And we have a backup plan for the backup plan. Stick with me,
Dean, and I'll have you well off.” She promised, before whisking me out of the club and into
her car.

“You weren't lying. These are comfortable.” I marveled, as I flexed my hands, still getting
used to my new gloves. Rowena had been a dream. Most people probably don't realize just
how dangerous she is. She's that sickly sweet on the surface, but barely a hair underneath, she
has a cutthroat villainess waiting to gut you and rip your teeth out. I fucking loved it. I
watched her interactions, studied them. Everything is important. This was going to be my life
now. I needed all the help I could get.

“Of course, Dearie. I would never lie to you about protection or fashion.” She assured me. I
smirked.

“You're lethal and amazing.” I told her, meeting her gaze, even though she was a bit taller
than me, especially with her heels.

“We're kindred spirits, you and I. Follow my lead and I can take you far, Love. Men think
with the appendages between their legs. Women think with everything else. I know you didn't
choose this life, but that's no reason that you can't rise to the top, exceed their expectations,
and turn the tables on them, before they realize just powerful you are, and what you're
capable of.” She advised.

I felt my nose burn and I blinked tears away, before it was obvious that I was far more
emotionally affected than I cared for anyone to know.

“I wish… I wish I could have known you, when I was younger. My mom died when I was
four, and I've been raising my brother ever since. I'm sure you've met John. I've never had a
female role model… or any role model, really.” I breathed, before I fixed my posture and
forced myself to stand taller.

“I have had the misfortune of meeting the man. I cannot say that I was impressed. My own
father was a lot like him. I know that Fergus has his faults, but much like you, I did my best.
You'll meet him, soon enough. Everyone else calls him Crowley. He's made quite the name
for himself. Our mother was never involved. From what I've heard, you've done far better that
I, in raising your kin.” She said, as she grabbed my hands and gave them a squeeze. “We're
diamonds, Darling. Pressure becomes us. This is but another bump in the road, and we are
not yet in our prime.”

“You're not what I was expecting.” I admitted. She had a bit of a laugh at that.

“I never conform to expectations, Love. That sounds so dreadfully boring.” She teased.
I grinned, as she ushered me over to the shoes that we picked out. She began chanting the
same spell that she used on the gloves. They'll be comfortable and won't break. A girl could
get used to this.

To say that I was out of my element was a massive understatement. I wasn't used to drawing
attention for myself. I just bought my first lipstick, last week. She added a few darker colors
to my lipstick collection – matte black, royal blue, midnight blue, and a dark plum that was
almost black. She gave me tips on how to apply them. I didn't make any arguments on her
suggestions. She found bolder eyeshadow colors, and more severe highlight. She didn't do
anything by halves.

I had thigh high black suede boots with high heels. I loved the look of them and what they
did for my legs. I was thankful that the spell allowed me to walk easily in them, and not trip
and break my neck. I preferred boots to just heels, but I had some of those, too. She found a
pair of black Mary Jane’s that were at least four inches. They made me feel sexy. She also
found a studded pair of black peep-toe pumps. Rowena insisted on heeled combat boots, in
lieu of the pair I usually wore. They were cute.

The theme for all of the clothes seemed to be a lot of black, a lot of leather, and a lot of things
that stretched. Everything was tight and tailored to my body. I had fishnets – so many pairs of
fishnets, short dresses, mini-skirts, crop tops, a couple of leather vests, and sheer clothing.
She got an obscene amount of black undergarments – push-up bras, lace boyshorts, thongs,
and I don't even know what else.

“We have one more stop, then we'll get you changed, and we'll go back to the club.” She told
me. I nodded, not sure I was ready for another stop or not. When we approached a salon, I
looked at her in surprise. “With us, Dear, appearance is everything. We'll be getting you the
works, hair, lash extensions, nails, and toes.” She decided.

I nodded. I've always cut my own hair. I've never had anyone else do it for me, before. We've
never had the money.

“I think we'll add in some color to yours, platinum, so we can add some pops of green, silver,
and blonde.” She decided. I nodded, slowly, trusting her to make decisions that I didn't really
care about. It's just hair. It could grow back. “The green won't be overwhelming, just subtle
little bits of color. It'll do wonders for your eyes, Love.”

I shifted uncomfortably, as Rowena fussed over my appearance. I was in a sinfully tight pair
of black, pleather leggings; thigh-high boots that went almost all the way to my kitty; a short
black, leather vest; and my hair up in a high ponytail. The vest stopped at my navel, and the
bottoms were high-waisted, but I wasn't used to showing so much skin. I looked down at my
black polished nails and had to admit that they did look good.
She left my lips painted the same deep crimson color, added some highlight and blush, before
giving me a dark green smoky eye, that matched the dark green streaks in my hair. I looked
good, but I didn't look like myself, but I guess that's the point, isn't it? She pressed my phone
into my hand and told to take a picture and send it to my beau. I did as I was told took a few,
before sending them to Cas.

I took a deep breath and tried to mentally build myself up for the night. I'd be shadowing her
as she helped take care of the front of the house. Bartending would be tomorrow's adventure.

“Remember, confidence is key. You deserve to be there. This is your domain. The writhing
masses are simply passing through. Don't afford them more attention or energy than you
ought to. They aren't the important ones here. We are.

“They are lucky just to be there with us. They know that. Our behavior will reinforce that.
One word or gesture from us, and they will be tossed out. Those are the rules and this is the
reality. If it helps to think of this as a persona, then do.

“You don't have to lie, but you don't need to give away more information that need be, either.
Let them assume. You're a rare, coveted delicacy, and they're hungry little dogs vying for
your attention. Are you ready?” She asked me. I gave her a stiff nod. She beamed before
pouring us both a shot of liquid courage. “Cheers, Dearie.” She clinked her glass to mine and
we tossed them back.

She took my hand into hers and we stepped out of the private quarters and into the club.
Much like the one I went to with Meg, it was dark, sleek, and suggestive. Rowena wore a
tight, dark purple dress that stopped above her knees, and a pair of sky-high black strappy
heels. Her presence demanded attention. It didn't matter what she was wearing. She was a
work of art and she knew it. I threw my hair back and did my best to mirror her confidence,
as I walked with her. People were definitely noticing us. She was right about that.

The music wasn't too loud by the bar. I ordered a club soda and lime, along with a dirty
martini for her. The nervous thrum of energy surrounding us was obvious. No one knew who
I was and their curiosity was peaked. Rowena let her fingertips skirt along the back of my
hand, softly, laying a claim to me. It seemed to have the desired effect. I was off-limits, and I
was important.

If I wasn't so in love with Cas, I'd probably be smitten. I'm ninety percent positive that
Rowena bats for my team, but other than my budding gaydar, I had no proof to back up my
hunch, not that it mattered. Men would trip over themselves for her, regardless. We both
knew that.

I peered up at her, through dark heavy lashes and she nuzzled her face against mine, fondly. I
smiled, softly and touched my forehead to hers. The touch was intimate and made the tension
around us thicken. She rubbed her thumb along my jawline. She pressed a chaste, little kiss to
my lips, before we took our drinks and she led me away from the bar. She was marking me as
off limits to the masses.

We were both smirking, as we left the patrons staring. Her eyes scanned the bodies around
the club, looking for someone. Her smirk turned into a smile, as led me over to a shorter man.
He's still taller than me, not that it's hard, but a bit stout, with dark hair, appraising eyes, and
a short beard.

“Fergus, I'm happy to see you.” She said, before kissing his cheek. He rolled his eyes, but the
twinkle of mirth gave him away.

“Must you call me that, Ro?” He sighed, in a velvety baritone, with an accent just as
delicious as Rowena's.

“I'd like you to meet Dean, Dearie. It's her first night. You can help show her the ropes.”
Rowena told him. Her tone was light, but there was a hint of steel that left no room for
argument.

“Of course. I'm Crowley. It's nice to meet you, Darling.” He introduced himself. He took my
hand and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

“It's nice to meet Ro's brother.” I said with a smile. He looked surprised that I knew that
much about him. Rowena looked amused, that we had taken him off guard. “I've been raising
my brother, too.” I added, before drinking my club soda. I finished it, as my eyes surveyed
our surroundings.

Someone with yellow eyes and smirk that oozed depravity, was eying me hard. I stiffened
and let my eyes flick up to Rowena. Something flashed over her eyes, but it was gone, as
quick as it came. What's his deal? Crowley noticed, too, and he looked murderous.

Yellow Eyes sauntered over to us and his smirk morphed into a predatory grin that was all
teeth and bite. I looked at him, schooling my face to stay neutral and unimpressed.

“You're new here.” He announced, as he reached us.

I snorted and Crowley was beside himself. He laughed at my reaction. Rowena did her
version of the same. The smile on her face was placating and obviously forced, much like
you'd use on a misbehaving child. Mr. Yellow Eyes narrowed his eyes, when he took in our
collective reactions.

“You always were a bit slow on the uptake, weren't you, Dear?” Rowena mused, before
sipping her martini. Crowley bounced on the balls of his feet with glee. He looked like he had
just been given a Christmas gift early.

“Weren't you thrown out of here, with the rest of the riffraff, Ferret?” Crowley asked him,
leveling him with his serious tone.

Rage danced in across Yellow Eyes' face. He didn't even try to hide it. What's his problem?

“Alastair agreed to give me a second chance. I'm awfully persuasive. What can I say?”
Yellow Eyes purred with a shrug. I rolled my eyes and did my best not to snicker.

“Dry, Love?” Crowley asked me. I nodded. “Vodka soda?” He guessed. I nodded, again. He
took my empty cup from me, and stared down the man before him. “He may have given you
one last chance, despite your latest tantrum, you insolent child, but I haven't. You would do
well to remember that. I have no qualms defending what is mine or killing misbehaving
pests, no matter how small, and insignificant they are.” Crowley's voice was low and
dangerous.

He didn't need to spell out his threat anymore than he already had. Interesting. Rowena
looked proud, but only slightly. She still kept the condescending look in place.

“I'll be right back, Darling.” Crowley promised, as he sauntered away to the bar.

“I'm Azazel.” Yellow Eyes introduced himself. He offered me his hand and I just looked at
him, visibly unimpressed.

“And?” I pressed. His eyes narrowed and he stepped closer to me. Rowena's mask dropped
and she raised an eyebrow.

“Someone's feeling awfully brave, aren't they?” She mused. Azazel looked at her, but didn't
move back. He looked like he was considering it.

“You'd do well to remember me. You remind me of someone, but I can't place who.” Azazel
told me, searching my face.

“That's nice. Are you done wasting my time now? There a lot of people I'm supposed to
meet, and you weren't important enough to be one of them.” I told him, keeping my voice
even and bored.

I smirked, as I made eye contact with him. They really are an eerie shade of yellow. They
reminded me of snake eyes.

“Oh, you're a delicious, little thing, aren't you? I wonder how you taste.” He appraised in
would-be seductive purr.

He moved his hand to stroke my cheek, but I slapped it away with the back of my hand. As
soon as I had done it, he looked hungry. He clenched his free hand together in a tight fist. He
licked his lips, as he bore his eyes into mine. I stared him down and didn't flinch.

“I'm bored now, and tasting me isn't something you'll ever have to worry your little head
about. Bye now.” I dismissed him, shooing him with my hand.

I wasn't going to let him out of eyesight. He grinned at me, and left, looking like a cat who
ate the canary. Crowley walked up to us and handed me a drink. I drank most of it, as I
watched Azazel's retreating form.

“Tell me about him, later.” I said to both of them, making it clear that it wasn't a request.
They both nodded, before steering me away.
I lost count of how many people I had met, but it had gone infinitely better than I thought it
would. Surprisingly, I even had fun. The music was good, and I enjoyed Rowena's and
Crowley's company. I laughed more than I thought capable, and I slowly felt like I was
getting comfortable in my skin there.

Alastair made an appearance, before I left for the night. He praised me on the impression I
was leaving and told me that he knew I would be a great fit. Inferno is Crowley's club, and he
and Rowena run it. Alastair told me that I would be staying there, instead of splitting my time
between different clubs. Both Crowley and Rowena had asked for me to stay there, and
Alastair had no reason not to agree.

Crowley had tried to bring up Azazel to Alastair, but he just said they would discuss it after I
went home. One look from Rowena told me that she was livid, but knew better, than to say
something.

“Come, Darling, I'll see you home.” Rowena told me, as she slipped her arm through mine.

I just nodded. My car was here, but I could get it tomorrow. We climbed into her car and she
had the driver take us back to my apartment.

“I don't want you alone with Azazel, ever. If you are, use whatever force you deem necessary.
Brush up on exorcisms. Memorize these. The notes tell you what they do and what they
mean.” She instructed me, as she slipped a small notebook into my bag.

“I will.” I promised. She gave me a curt nod.

“Fergus and I will pick you up at noon and take you to lunch. We will go some place private
and explain what we can then. Until then, I've checked the wards on this property and added
a few of my own. You'll be safe there. Line the door with the steel bar I left for you, like you
would with salt. That's what it's filled with, but won't be as easily broken. Try to get some
sleep, Dearie.”

I laid in bed and didn't know what to make of everything. There was so much swimming in
my head and it made me a little dizzy. It seemed so daunting. Above all, I just felt exhausted.
I had already texted Cas, Meg, and Sam. I set my alarm, and let my eyelids fall.

‘Mother Nature's dying.

Nobody's keeping score.
 I don't wanna live in a man's world anymore.
I don't wanna live in a man's world anymore.

If you have a mother, daughter, or friend, maybe it's time,

Time you comprehend the world that you live in, ain't the same one as them.
So don't punish me, ‘cause I'm not a man.'

Chapter End Notes

Kudos and comment? Please and thank you. 🥰🖤💋

 you should see me in a crown.
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: “you should see me in a crown” – Billie Eilish

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘Bite my tongue, bide my time.

Wearing a warning sign.
Wait till the world is mine.
Visions, I vandalize.
Cold in my kingdom size.
Fell for those ocean eyes.

You should see me in a crown.

I'm gonna run this nothing town.
Watch me make ‘em bow, one by one by one…’

Chapter Ten:

My hand flew to my throat, as I jolted awake. My heart was racing and I'm covered in sweat.
Damn nightmares. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. It's not even two in the
morning. I've only been asleep for less than an hour. I cursed, and pulled out a picture that
Cas had sent me, before he fell asleep. He looked tired, but delicious, lying in bed, with a
finger tracing the moth necklace I had given him. His pajama pants were low on his hips and
he had forgone a shirt. God, he's handsome.

I set the picture as my phone background, before deciding not to text Cas, so I wouldn't wake
him, I sent a message to Benny instead, to see if he was still working. His reply was
immediate.

I climbed out of bed and stripped out of the clothes I fell asleep in. I pulled on clean
undergarments, an old pair of Dad's sweatpants that I commandeered after they were too ratty
for him, a cropped tank top from Anna, and a flannel that was on top of my dresser. I slipped
on an old pair of low-tops, grabbed my keys and my phones, and went downstairs to the
diner.

Benny was already at the counter waiting for me, with a steaming cup of coffee. My face split
into a grin, when I saw him. He stood up and held his arms out for me. I ran up and threw my
arms around him. He squeezed me and lifted me off of my feet.

“Mon cœur, you're a sight for sore eyes. I've missed seeing your beautiful face around here.
Don't tell Gabe, but he's not near as pretty as you.” Benny teased. I laughed, and then
hiccupped, and then sobbed. “Chére, what's wrong?” He asked, still holding me.

“Everything is just starting to hit, ya know? I'm in over my head, and I'm doing my best, but
I'm still scared shitless. If I can't do this, then Sammy pays for it. I'd die, before I let anyone
hurt him. It's so weird, staying alone. It's too quiet. I hate it.” I cried. Benny dropped a kiss on
top of my head, before pulling away from me.

I sniffled and mopped my face off with my sleeve. Benny cupped my face in his hands used
his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still falling. He tilted my face up, so I had to look
him in the eyes. He looked so concerned and it just made my heart ache more.

“I don't have the answers for you, Mon Cœur, but I will always listen to you, and help when I
can. We will get you through this. I know that this isn't what you want to hear, Chére, but
you're tough as nails, and stronger than any teenager has any right being. You've been dealt
the shittiest hand, and you're thriving more, than anyone else would be. Be easy on yourself,
Dean. Everyone else is kicking your ass, you don't need to add to it, Darlin'.

“Let's get you some food and some pie, and we can chat about it. Ya hear?” Benny decided. I
nodded, and took a seat. He produced a still steaming plate of comfort food for me. I grinned
at my burger appreciatively.

“Thanks, Benny. You know I love you, right? You're my best friend.” I told him, sniffling.

“You're mine, too, Doll. Tell me what's been weighin' on your mind.”

I explained the situation to Benny, and he waited until I was finished, before saying much.
Mostly, he held my hand, and just let me talk it out. He didn't have advice that any different
than Gabe or anyone else, but it was nice to have my best friend in the know.

“How are things with Cas, Mon Cœur?” Benny asked me, after we caught up on everything
else.

I couldn't stop the blush deepening on my face. I ducked my face down and took a sip of
coffee, before answering him. I unlocked my phone and pulled up the pictures of us with
Sammy, from the apiary. I handed him the phone and he smiled, that soft way that he does,
whenever I trust him with something that's close to my heart.

“I've never seen the three of you look happier, than I have, since you started seeing each
other. Sammy adores him, too.” He mused, as he looked through the pictures.

“I love him.” I whispered, with a sad smile. “Does it sound awful that I'm grateful that he
cares about me, but that I also feel bad for him, at the same time?” I asked. Everything my
dad has ever said to me, just replays on loop in my head, whether I like it or not.

“You know that you're worth loving, don't cha? He can't do any better than you. There isn't
better than you. I don't give a hot damn what your good for nothin' pa told you. You deserve
good things and to be happy, Chére. It might not be today, but one day, you're gonna believe
it. Mark my words, Mon Cœur. I promise you that. You deserve love and you have it, all
around you.” Benny promised. I nodded, and wiped away my sudden tears.

“I haven't told him that I love him, yet. It's way too soon. If you could just keep that to
yourself, I'd appreciate it.” I breathed.

“Of course, Chére. You have my word, always.”

Benny and I stayed up just talking and shooting the shit. He’s covering for Garth, for a few
hours this morning, and I figured I would just stay up to see a few more of my favorite
people.

“Deano! Do my eyes deceive me, or are you here?!” Gabe boomed, as strolled into the
restaurant. I grinned and shot out of my seat, to hug him.

“I've missed you! I'm sorry I haven’t been around as much, as I would like. I don't know what
my schedule is like for the rest of the week, but maybe the three of us could test out some
new dessert recipes? I'd love to stress bake with you. I miss it.” I offered, still hugging him.
He squeezed me back.

“You know that you're welcome here at anytime, Kiddo. I would love that, and I'm sure your
bestie would, too. He's always more grumpy, when you're not around.” Gabe teased, wiggling
his eyebrows. I laughed, as Benny scoffed.

“I'm a delight.” Benny countered.

“Yes, you are, Toots .” Gabe said with a grin. I giggled and just enjoyed being with both of
them, for the moment.

“Gabriel, was this the blend of coffee beans that you wanted me to grab? Or did you want the
rest from the car, as well?” Castiel asked, as he walked into the diner.

I squealed in excitement. I didn't realize it was late enough for him to be here already. I
wrapped him in a hug, before he could say anything else. He dropped the coffee beans and
hugged me back.

“Hey! Watch the merchandise, Cassie!” Gabe cried, scooping up the sealed bags of coffee
beans off of the ground.

“I’m holding onto something much more precious.” Cas replied, softly. I looked up at him
and his gorgeous blue eyes shone at me, while he beamed.

I reached up and touched his cheek, before stretching to my tiptoes to press a kiss to his
mouth. He tightened his grip around me moved his lips against mine and turned our sweet
kiss into something deeper. I gasped into his mouth, as his hand moved to the small of my
back, and slowly moved lower. I slid my tongue against his, and marveled in the feel of him.
God, I want to climb this man like a tree.

He ended the kiss before I was ready, but I knew we had an audience. He peppered my face
with kisses, before touching his forehead to mine. I closed my eyes and let my breathing sync
with his. I felt all of the tension that I didn't realize I was holding onto, leave my body. His
hand cupped my face and the smell of him invaded my senses.

I love when he does this. It feels so intimate. I feel special and safe and for a moment,
nothing else in the world matters.

I pulled back, so I could look up at him. I gave him a small smile and reached up and
fingered the necklace that he was still wearing.

“I never take it off.” He told me, softly. I grinned and motioned to my ears.

“I haven't taken the earrings out, either.” I admitted.

“They look beautiful on you, Dean.” He mused. I love how he says my name. He says it, like
it's a promise, and I'm still figuring out what that promise is. “You look good, Honey, tired,
but good. I like the hair.” He ran his fingers over my messy bun. I giggled and shook my
head.

“I look a mess.” I corrected him. He rolled his eyes, but leaned back down to kiss the tip of
my nose. “But thank you, Sweetheart. You're always so sweet to me.”

“You deserve it, Dean, always.” He vowed. I grinned shyly at him, and tried not to blush.

“It was nice to see you, before I have to nap. Let's get you fed, Angel. I'll keep you company,
while you eat.” I offered.
All too soon, I was pulling on the same thigh-high boots from last night. Today, I opted for
one of the long-sleeved mini-dresses that Rowena had helped me pick out. It was dark purple
and clung to me, like a second skin. It had a modest neckline, but it was my entire back was
bare. It had two slits on either side, so I could walk without issue. I put on a tiny pair of yoga
shorts, over the fishnets, so I wouldn't be flashing anyone, while I walked. They're small
enough to pass for a modest pair of boyshorts, so I'm not too worried about them.

I had my gloves in place and thick black eyeliner on. I painted my lips carefully with liquid
lipstick, black on the top lip, and the dark plum color on the bottom. I added a little line of
the dark purple color on near the end of my winged eyeliner, making it pop a bit more.

I'm still so out of my element with all the girl things, but I'm trying. I threw on some blush
and highlight, before tackling my hair. I pulled it back on the sides and twisted them into
braids. I pinned them back and fastened them in a little knot, securing them. I left the bottom
half of my hair down. I hoped it looked okay enough for whatever they have planned for me
today.

I grabbed the black leather jacket that Rowena got me on, and grabbed my bag, before
locking the door, and leaving my apartment. They pulled up, just as I made it to the landing.
Crowley got out of the backseat and opened the door for me.

“Thank you, Crowley.” I expressed my gratitude quietly, before climbing into the limo.
Rowena beamed at me, when she saw me.

“You look wonderful, Dearie. That shade of purple looks great on you, Dean.” She told me,
appreciatively. I smiled shyly at her.

“Thank you.” I breathed, taking a seat.

“I don't think that we will end up having you bartend, Little One. We have more than enough
capable people. We would rather you focus solely on working the front of the house with us
and networking. How does that sound, Darling?” Crowley asked me.

“Great, I was a little nervous about that prospect, if I'm being honest. It just seems like it
would be a lot to remember.” I admitted, blushing, a little embarrassed by my admission.

“That's fine, Dear, if anything ever makes you uncomfortable, you can tell us. We can't
always get you out of things, but if it's something we can help with, there is no need for you
to suffer needlessly, when it can be avoided.” Ro told me, gently. I nodded, mutely. “Let's sit
down with some food, and we'll explain what we can.”
True to her word, Rowena did exactly what she said she would. They're giving me the power
to boot anyone unsavory from the club. If there is anyone who is looking for trouble or makes
me uncomfortable, I'm to call security over and call one of them.

Crowley gave me a ring, a plain gold band, that I just had to rub twice, and it would make
theirs heat up, so they would know if I needed help. Security was always supposed to be
within eyesight, so I would just need to signal them. Everything else was pretty
straightforward and seemed to be common sense.

If I ever drank to excess, I wasn't supposed to drive myself home. They would have someone
take me. I still had the Impala at the club, from last night, and I didn't plan on drinking
anytime in the future. I needed to be especially mindful, when Alastair was around, but that
was common sense.

Mr. Yellow Eyes And Douche-y was every bit as entitled and pretentious as he seemed to be.
He was known for roughing up the girls and never taking no for an answer. He's a demon and
Rowena hated him. Crowley did, too, but his seemed deeper seeded, more personal. He
alluded that he had tried to hurt his sister in the past, but she was too quick on her feet, for
him to do actual lasting harm. Apparently he was good at sniveling and sucking up, so
Alastair tended to forgive him, despite the fact that everyone else seemed to want him gutted.

There was something about him that sent a chill through my spine and put all of my danger
alarms go off. If I had a spidey sense, it would be blaring and break-dancing. He had his
sights on me, and no one had to tell me what a bad thing that was, or that no good would
likely come of it.

Rowena told me to say that I was her companion for all intents and purposes. I would be
untouchable, for now, and they would make as much known. Alastair gave the okay. He
wanted them to want me, and not to touch me, anyway. He would be helping to enforce that,
even if it was just for now.

I told Cas what Rowena had done the night before, when I saw him over breakfast, and
surprisingly, he was okay with it. He wanted me safe, and apparently Rowena had helped
Anna out of a bind, years ago, and it was something that he had never forgotten.

Soon enough, we were strolling into the club, hand in hand. Crowley walked in behind us.
Rowena looked at me and smiled, and it was impossible not to return. Something deep in my
gut trusts her and Crowley. I'm going to try and be cautious, but right now, they're my best
bet at staying alive through this thing. She leaned closer to me, so we could bump shoulders.
I grinned and tried and failed not to blush. It's a good thing that I'm supposed to be an
awkward, innocent, virginal teenager, because I don't think I could pretend not to be.
Quickly, we were flanked by a sassy blonde woman, who was appraising me with her eyes. I
looked at her coolly and did the same. There's something prickly about her, but Crowley
seemed indifferent to her. Rowena was a bit friendlier, but only marginally.

“Same drink as yesterday, Darling?” Crowley asked me. I nodded.

“Just for the first one, then I'll switch.” I told him, letting him know that I only wanted club
soda for the rest of the evening.

“Surprise me, Fergus.” Ro told him, with a little smile.

“Maybe I can get them to throw a bit of confetti in, Ro.” He teased, before walking over to
the bar. I laughed and rubbed my thumb over the hand that Rowena had tucked into mine,
affectionately.

“Jimmy might do it. He's so literal.” The blonde joked. Rowena let out a little huff of
laughter.

“You know, Dear, it's only polite that you introduce yourself. Surely your father taught you
that much.” Rowena told the mystery woman. The blonde rolled her eyes and quirked an
eyebrow.

“I'm Ruby. I hear you had the misfortune of meeting my father last night.” She introduced
herself. I nodded, slowly.

“I’ve had the misfortune of meeting a lot of men in my lifetime. You'll have to be more
specific. I'm Dean.” I replied, evenly. Delight stretched across her face.

“Azazel is my sperm donor. He tends to only remember I exist, when it's convenient for him.
But you know what that's like, don't you?” Ruby mused. I just nodded. It's not like she's
wrong.

She’s okay, for now. But there was something about her that puts me on edge, so I'm gonna
trust my gut. I looked over at Ro and appreciated the emerald top she wore. It had a plunging
neckline and she had paired it with black leather pants, and more sky-high heels.

“You look so beautiful tonight.” I told her, leaning closer to her, so I could steal a kiss. Her
face softened, and she kissed me back, before pulling back to gaze at me, affectionately.

“I have to, when I have a vision like you on my arm, Dear.” She replied, as Crowley walked
up with our drinks in tow.

“No confetti, but I did get some edible glitter.” He said, as he passed a dark purple martini to
Rowena. He handed me my drink, and held a tumbler of scotch for himself.

“As fun as this was, I'm gonna go, before Zachariah makes his way over here. I can't stand
the man. Watch out, Dean. He likes to grab anything he can get his hands on, and I do mean
your ass. Later.” Ruby excused herself.
I made a face and drank most of my vodka soda, before he sauntered up. God, there are way
too many entitled men in existence. I'm not saying we should off everyone, but maybe we
could weed out the crusty ones? It's probably just wishful thinking. They seem to have more
money than sense, but that isn't saying much. No one ever accused them of being smart, and
for good reason.

“And who is this delightful creature?” A balding, grey-haired man asked, as he reached us.

I grimaced. He looks like a dentist who gets overly friendly, any chance he gets. Clearly, he
doesn't know that he was in his prime like thirty years ago. He has a prominent belly and
gives off an air that is a little too date-rape-y for me.

“I'm Zachariah. You'll want to remember that, after all, I am an important man. Give us a
hug, Love.” The man suggested.

I leveled him with a speculative grimace. I knew my posture wasn't warm or inviting. I made
no effort to move or change it, since I was watching to see what else he would do.

“Come on now, it's only polite.” He tried, again. I scoffed and shook my head.

“I don't care if it's polite or who you are. I'm not touching you and I'm definitely not
interested. I think a desperate housewife, in her forties, would be more your speed. You look
like a creepy dentist that only knows how to bad-touch girls who tell you no.” I refused.

His jaw dropped and he gaped at me. Crowley looked like Christmas came early and Rowena
smirked, before looking him in the eye and kissing me.

“Sorry, Little One, Dean is mine.” Rowena laughed at Zachariah. He moved his mouth open
and closed, like a fish out of water.

“I don't care who's she is. I want her, and she will treat me appropriately.” Zachariah
demanded, all but stomping his foot down.

“I am treating you appropriately.” I reminded him, watching his anger grow.

I turned my back to him, flipping my hair over my shoulder, making it clear that he was
getting on more of my attention. I looked up at Ro, and glanced at her lips. I didn't have to
move or ask her. She kissed me, again, and I melted into it. I kept my drink in hand, but
slipped my arms around her neck, pressing myself closer to her.

Crowley was watching him to see what else he might do. He didn't say anything, but that
didn't mean that he hadn’t given him an non-verbal warning. The hair on the back of my neck
started to stand up, and I knew something was about to happen. Ro parted my lips, as she
slipped her tongue into my mouth. I followed her lead, and let her deepen the kiss. As soon as
I let a little moan slip, I felt something push into me from behind.

Zachariah grabbed my ass with both hands and I accidentally bit down on Ro's lip a little too
hard. I jerked away, and leveled Zachariah with a knee to the groin, as Crowley had grabbed
 him. The back of my hand smacked him across his face and he cried out. Crowley looked
impressed, and Rowena looked pissed.

“Haven't you already been warned about touching things that aren't yours?” She seethed. The
color drained from his unimpressive face. “You don't want to listen to me? Your disrespect
will not go unpunished. I think that a little quality with the hellhounds is in order. Don't you?
Don't worry, Dear. They won't kill you. You will be apologizing. Fergus, get him out of my
sight, before I decide to take his eyes, as my garnish.”

Crowley and security dragged a pleading Zachariah away. As soon as they reached the other
side of the club, I could hear howling in the distance. I shivered, not envying the man that
decided to play grab-ass. I didn't even know that hellhounds existed. I'm learning so much.

“It looks like I got here just in time. I always hate missing all the fun. Lord knows I can't
stand that man.” Another tall blonde said. She looks my age, but gives off a dangerous vibe. I
didn't have to ask to know that I needed to be on my toes, when she was around.

“Lilith, how nice of you to join us. Zachariah is about to spend some quality time with the
dogs, but if you'd like to play with him first, I certainly wouldn't object, Dearie.” Rowena
told her, smiling. Lilith didn't take long to think it over.

“Now that sounds like sounds like fun.” She agreed, before skipping away. I glanced at
Rowena, but didn't say anything.

“Stay close tonight. She can be unpredictable. Chances are that she'll leave, once she's
finished. She hates being bored. She's one of the oldest demons.” Rowena explained. I
nodded. Well, tonight just got a whole lot more interesting.

‘Count my cards, watch them fall.

Blood on a marble wall, I like the way they all scream.
Tell me which one is worse, living or dying first?
Sleeping inside a hearse, I don't dream.

You say, ‘Come over, Baby.

I think you're pretty.’
I'm okay, I'm not your baby.
If you think I'm pretty…

You should see me in a crown.’

Chapter End Notes

Comments and kudos make my heart happy. 🥰🖤💋
 Girl Like Me
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Girl Like Me" -- Dove Cameron

‘Heathen,
I could give you something to believe in.
Got this self-fulfilling reputation.
Talking like you're God's favorite creation.

Nothing makes you smaller, than being a big man.

You be my revolver, I got you in my hands.
Almost looking taller, when I'm leading in the dance.
Uh-oh.
Have you never let a woman do that…?’

Chapter Eleven:

I was still reeling from the fact that Lilith was a demon and one that powerful. Crowley was
quick to explain that usually demons didn't frequent the clubs, but Lilith was old and usually
did what she wanted. That said, she did have an understanding with Crowley and Alastair.
The clubs fed into more sinister behavior and the demons thrived off of it. So, really, for
them, it was a win-win.

Lilith skipped happily out of the room that Zachariah had been dragged into. She had blood
on her hands and a very pleased grin on her face. She licked her hands clean, as she
approached us, again. She smiled appreciatively at Rowena.

“Ro, thank you for letting me play. It's been such a boring night, but that was great fun.
You're always so sweet me.” Lilith cooed. Rowena just smiled at her, and brushed a stray curl
out of her face, and tucked it behind her ear.

“Of course, My Dear.” She replied, before sipping her drink.

“Dean, I would like us to be friends. Ro likes you, so you must be alright. Being around all
boys gets so boring and there is nothing worse than that. So far, we hate all the same people,
and I love that about you. Alley-Cat said you're off limits, but I think I'd have more fun on
your side, anyway. As long as you don't betray me, I’d never hurt you.” She sang, before
using a still damp finger to boop my nose. I laughed, but nodded. “And you seem to be
honest, and I like that.”

“I'll do my best never to lie to ya, Lilith.” I promised, knowing it would be suicide. She
perked up, pleased with my response.

“Azazel is too big for his britches. He's not even that powerful. I have dresses older than him.
He's so gross and he thinks he deserves all the prettiest toys. How could someone that ugly
deserve something so pretty?” She whined. I know she's old, but she acts more like a spoiled
child, if anything.

“Men are the worst, aren't they? Most of them act like that.” I sighed, placating her. She
rolled her eyes, as she nodded.

“This has been fun, Ro! Tell Crowley I said hi. I'm going to ask Jimmy for a milkshake,
before I go and bug Alley-Cat!” Lilith excused herself. I waited, until she was out of earshot,
before giving Rowena a questioning look.

“She means Alastair. That's what she calls him. He couldn't stop her, even if he tried. She’s
older and more powerful than he is, but he owns more territory. She's always taken a liking to
me and Fergus. Jimmy is your beau's older brother. I'm not sure if he told you.” Rowena
explained. I nodded, taking in the information.

I looked over at the bar, and sure enough, Lilith was sitting on a stool, clapping her hands
together appreciatively, as Jimmy pulled out all the stops for her milkshake.

“Jimmy is good with kids, so he's good with her. He keeps special sprinkles and such
stocked, just for her. The others don't bother. He’s human, but she likes him, because he dotes
on her.” Ro added.

“He sounds like a smart man.” I agreed.

He definitely looked older than Cas, but I could see the similarities. He was a bit bulkier, but
they were about the same height. Jimmy wore eyeliner smudged along his bottom lashes, and
oozed easy confidence. I'll have to ask Cas about him. Lilith looked over at us and waved,
when we made eye contact. We smiled and waved back.

None of this has been anything like I ever expected it to be. It's so surreal. I don't know if
anyone could expect any of this, honestly.
Just as Lilith was skipping away, with her milkshake, I felt the air around change. It felt tense
and charged and I felt Alastair, before I saw him. Lilith stopped and placed a kiss on his
cheek, before bounding out of Inferno.

Alastair had a dangerous, amused look on his face, as we walked over to us, with a dark-
skinned man at his side. My eyes flicked over at him and immediately felt uneasy. There's
something off about him, but I'm not sure what.

“There’s my newest leading lady,” Alastair boomed, as he wrapped his arms around me. I let
go of Rowena's hand, to return his hug, unsure of what else to do. He kissed my forehead,
before our embrace ended. After he let go, I settled back into Rowena's side.

“I hear that you've been causing quite the stir, Kitten. That's what I love to hear. Lilith is
infatuated with you. Azazel had complaints, but at best, he's a thorn in my side. I don't really
care if he's happy. He's not in the same caliber as we are. I heard that Zachariah was
misbehaving. That's a pity.” Alastair said with a sigh.

“The pups are having a bit of fun playing with him. I'm sure Azazel will get some quality
time with them, too, if he keeps up. You know how I feel about disrespect, Dearie.” Rowena
mused. Alastair just nodded, seemingly unbothered about some of his acquaintances
becoming chew toys.

“I think I know what all of the fuss is about.” The leering man at my boss' side declared. I
raised an eyebrow, and said nothing. Crowley chose then to saunter up and look at the man,
but he just looked disinterested.

“Gordon, I'm shocked to see you here.” Crowley's voice still sounded like velvet, but there
was some distain that creeped in.

“Ah, it makes sense now. I've not heard good things about you. You're that rogue hunter,
right? The one hunts monsters and extorts them for money, even when they don't actually
pose a threat? That's just distasteful. If even John Winchester has issues with your moral
compass, that's saying something. You suck, man.” I told him, finishing my drink.

Crowley and Alistair guffawed at the situation. Rowena choked on her drink and Gordon just
narrowed his eyes at me.

“So, you've heard of me, then.” Gordon huffed, creeping closer. I turned and helped Rowena
dab her chin dry with a napkin, before slipping my hand into hers, before staring him down.

“That’s what I said, Captain Jack Shit-stain. Yeah, Dude, I've heard about you, and none of it
was impressive. It's okay, though. Lilith is the only impressive person I've met here, so far.” I
corrected.

I saw Jimmy walking up, out of the corner of my eye. He had a fresh drink for me. I smiled at
him in thanks, as I accepted the glass. He took my empty one away with him.

“Now, now, Gordon, don't get bent out of shape, just because she's telling you the truth.”
Alastair told him, with obvious warning in his tone. Gordon was nonplussed. I smirked at
him.

“Do you think that I care what some teenager thinks? Especially with one with that sorry
excuse of a father?” Gordon tried to goad me. I just shrugged.

“I dunno, Man. You seem to. I agree about my dad, though. But hey, not everyone was
blessed with my winning personality.” I countered with a grin. His eyes bulged, as he stared
at me. “So, how do you know Alastair?” I changed the topic.

“He likes to come see my girls.” Alastair supplied. I nodded.

“No luck getting a date the normal way? Ouch. That sucks, Man. That's okay, though. I'm a
pretty decent wing-woman. What's your type? Do you prefer that they're visually impaired or
hard of hearing? Both would work in your favor, ya know.” I cooed. He growled a warning,
but Alastair looked delighted.

“No? That's okay. Would you wanna try taking a guy home? I don't discriminate, Dude. I got
ya.” I added, easily. Alastair chuckled at our exchange.

“Do you know where you are, Little Girl?” Gordon growled.

“Chuck E. Cheese?” I quipped, grinning. His nostrils flared. I was egging him on and I didn't
care. This was fun.

“You talk a big game now, but you're nothing but padding and bravado. Nothing about you is
real.” He spat. I shrugged, again.

“My boobs seem pretty real to me.” I jibed. He made a sound of exasperation. “If you can't
handle the personality, go bother someone else. No one is making you stay here or talk to me.
I definitely didn't ask you to.” I dismissed him. He growled and clenched his fists.

“Are you going to let that little bitch stand there and talk to me that way?” Gordon growled.
Alastair looked over at him with an eerie calm.

“Were you under some misguided notion that you're somehow deserving of more? Do you
think that a hunter has clout here? Dean is mine. As long as she follows the rules that I have
given her, she may do as I please. She has not broken any of my rules, or the ones that
Crowley had set for her. Do I allow you to talk to what is mine with disrespect?” Alastair
asked him in a low, dangerous voice.

“No, not unless I've paid for it, and the terms have been expressly agreed upon. And you and
Rowena both have made it clear that she is off-limits, for the time being.” Gordon huffed.

“Then why are you here, acting like you have no gotdamned sense?” Crowley spoke up,
letting his eyes bleed black. Interesting. I had a feeling that he was a demon, but it doesn't
change things.

“I – I'm sorry. Please forgive me.” Gordon uttered hastily.

“Kiss her feet and apologize.” Rowena told him in a soft voice. Before I could say anything,
a flick of her hand had him on the ground, bowing at my feet.

“I'm sorry.” He grit out.

“Kiss her feet.” She repeated. He kissed the tip of my boots, I scoffed in disgust.

“Next time, I'm taking a finger.” Crowley growled.

“Get out.” Alastair told him. Gordon clambered to his feet and ran out without a word. I'm
sure that won't be the last time I see him, even if I have no desire to see him, again.

“Dean, I'm very pleased with you. Would you like to take tomorrow off, and go see your
brother in the evening, instead of coming in?” Alastair offered. I perked up, immediately.

“Really?” I asked him, smiling. He nodded.

“Of course, you’ve earned it. Keep making me proud, hmm? I need to go, and check on
Leviathan. Lilith said she would entertain herself, until I got there, but that could mean
anything. And usually with her, that means chaos.” Alastair excused himself. I wrapped my
arms around him, as thanks, before he turned to leave. He patted my back, before turning on
his heel.

“I've never heard him be that impressed with someone, so quickly, before.” Rowena
admitted.

“That's good, right?” I asked. She nodded.

“That it is, My Dear. Come, Darling, let's go see Jimmy. I'm sure you're dying to pick his
brain a bit.” Rowena led me to the bar.

Jimmy didn't have much time to talk, but he was friendly enough, and I made a mental note
to ask Cas about him, later on. I needed to text Sam in the morning, and see if I could come
see him and have dinner with Bobby and everyone. Maybe Cas and I could go to The
Roadhouse, afterwards, to see Jo and Ash. She's been waiting tables most nights, she doesn't
have homework, and Ash has been bartending.

Rowena promised me that it was okay to take the night off. Crowley pulled me aside and
apologized if he alarmed me, by not telling me that he was a demon. I assured him that it was
fine. He followed me home, to make sure that I got there okay, since I needed my car the next
day. Instead of going straight upstairs, I stopped into the diner.

“Twice in one day, Chére? I feel privileged.” Benny said, standing up a little straighter. I
waved at him and Meg. “Who are you, and what have you done with Dean?” He teased. I
blushed and looked at my feet.
“You look good enough to eat, Cupcake. What? No kiss hello?” Meg asked. I rolled my eyes
and gave her a hug first. She tossed Benny her phone and gave him strict orders to take a
picture, so she could send it to Cas. I laughed, before she kissed me. She kept it short and
sweet. Benny handed her back the phone, looking a little pained.

“You're up late.” I said to Meg. She just shrugged.

“I couldn't sleep and we have school off tomorrow. Something about a science lab catching
fire.” She mused, before I hugged Benny.

“Did you already eat something, Mon Cœur?” Benny asked me. I shook my head. “Take a
seat. I'll whip something up.” He ordered. I sat down in a booth with Meg.

“So, it's going okay? Working with my uncle?” She asked. I nodded.

“Yeah, Gordon Walker came in tonight. What an entitled prick. He's so pompous. He insulted
me in front of Alastair and Rowena, so she and Crowley made him apologize, and kiss my
boots.” I replied with grin. She laughed loud and hard at that.

“I didn't know Jimmy bartended there, at Inferno.” I told her. She made a noncommittal
sound.

“I hadn't heard, but it doesn't surprise me. I'm not surprised about Gordon, either. Jo hates
him. He's grabbed her ass more than a few times. She put him in the hospital, last time. She
kneed him so hard, he thought his balls ruptured, then she flipped him over her shoulder. He's
a creep.” She admitted.

“Yeah, I'll say.” I murmured with a shiver.

“How much are you hating the wardrobe change?” She asked, changing the subject. I
groaned with a grimace.

“So much, but Rowena spelled the shoes, so none of them hurt to walk in. I feel like I'm on
display.” I groaned.

“Clarence would drag you straight to bed, if he saw it. Did you show him?” She pressed, as
mischief bled into her face. I shook my head. “Stand up, Cupcake. Let's show him how hot
you look.” She said, shooing me out of the booth. I did as she asked, so she could snap some
pictures. “Now without the jacket.” She demanded. I tossed her my coat, before posing again.
She laughed and sent them off. My phone chimed, as I slid back into the booth. She gave me
my jacket back and I pulled out my phone. “Is that Clarence?” She asked, snatching the
phone off of the table. I nodded.

“He's so fine.” I sighed. She laughed, but nodded.

“You two are a good lookin' couple, Cupcake. It's pretty fitting, you know? A cupcake and a
unicorn.” Meg teased. I rolled my eyes fondly.

“Who knew you were such a big softy?” I joked, instead.

She just smirked with a shrug. Benny slid into the booth next to me and handed me a plate
with two grilled cheese sandwiches on it and a pile of fries.

“You're literally the best ever, Benny. What would I do without you?” I thanked him, before
taking a bite of one of the sandwiches. I moaned, as melted cheese filled my mouth. “With
bacon and pickles? You spoil me.” I sighed, happily. I stifled a yawn, mid-chew. Benny eyed
me warily.

“You workin' too hard, Chére?” He inquired. I just shrugged.

“I just haven't really been sleeping well. It's weird not having Sam there. It's so quiet. Maybe
I'll leave the TV in the living room on, or something… but then I worry, because I can't hear
if someone has broken in. I don't know. It's hard not to be on edge, these days.” I admitted.
Meg looked thoughtful, for a moment.

“Do you want me to stay over? It's not like I have school in the morning.” Meg offered.

I frowned. I do want her to stay over, but I feel bad asking her to. I should be able to handle
this on my own. I hate that I've need so much help, already.

“Quit overthinking it. I'm staying. You didn't ask, even though you could've. I offered and it's
settled. I promise to be the perfect gentleman.” She decided.

“Yeah, okay, thank you. I'm gonna text Cas and Sam, before we head up. I'm gonna try to go
see Sammy and have dinner with them tomorrow. I thought maybe Cas and I could go to The
Roadhouse, afterwards, to see Ash and Jo. I really miss that kid. It's been the longest I've
been away from him, without being on a hunting job, with Dad.” I huffed, pulling out my
phone.

To Sam:
‘Hey Sammy, I was given tomorrow off, for good behavior. *smiley face with sunglasses
emoji* I was thinkin' that I could come have dinner with you guys, and catch up. And maybe I
can sweet talk Cas into going to The Roadhouse with me, so I can see Ash and Jo. Ask Bobby
and Ellen, and get back to me. Maybe I can bring Cas to dinner, too? He's been asking about
you, too. It'd be great to see ya, Kiddo. I've been missin' ya, something awful. I love ya,
Sammy.
-Dean’

To Cas:
‘Hey handsome man of mine, what do you have going on tomorrow? I have tomorrow off, as
a reward for good behavior. I was going to see Sammy for dinner and catch up. I wanted to
ask, if you wanted to come with me, and then go to The Roadhouse afterwards? It'd be great
to see Ash and Jo, too. Let me know if that works. I popped by the diner for a bite to eat,
before free falling onto my bed. I think Meg is staying over. Did she send you the pictures?
I'm assuming so, but just in case, I'll send ‘em with this, too. She thought you'd get a little hot
and bothered, seeing us kiss. Was she wrong? It totally does not need to happen, again. I
don't want to cross any boundaries or make you uncomfy. I miss you and your face.
Xo, Angel.
-Dean’
Meg smirked at me, like she knew exactly what I was writing. I stuck my tongue out at her,
earning a laugh from both her and Benny. We chatted about things that weren't all that
important. I cleaned my plate, and Benny refused to let me pay for the meal. Meg grabbed
her back and followed me upstairs.

I stripped out of my clothes and pulled on a clean pair of panties and a long, oversized shirt. I
took off my makeup and washed my face. I brushed my teeth and let my hair down. Meg
followed suit and I gave her another oversized shirt to sleep in.

We slipped into bed and got under the covers. She laid down facing me. She put her arms
around me, and settled onto her back. I leaned into her side and laid my head near her
shoulder. We intertwined our legs and I concentrated on listening to her breathing. I
immediately felt more at ease. The tension dissipated from my body and I didn't fight it,
when my eyes slipped closed.

Maybe, I'll actually get some sleep tonight. I feel safer with her here. I snuggled closer and
she rubbed my back. I felt myself start to drift off to sleep.

‘Handsome,
There ain't nothing sexy about a tantrum.
When I'm not even here, I'm just a phantom.
I know I'm putting you on the spot,
But do you think you're ready or not?
…Probably not…

You've never met a girl, like me before.

Never met a girl like,
Never met a girl like…
I'd give you just a taste, but you'd want more…

Never met a girl, like me.’

 Nightmare
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Nightmare" -- Halsey

See the end of the chapter for more notes

‘I've tasted blood and it is sweet.

I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet.
I've trusted lies and I've trusted men,
Broke down and put myself back together again.
Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters ,
Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger.
I've pinched my skin, in between two fingers,
And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors.

‘Come on, little lady, give us a smile.’

No, I ain't got nothin' to smile about.
I got no one to smile for.
I waited a while for a moment, to say,
I don't owe you a gotdamn thing.’

Chapter Twelve:

I grumbled and twitched my nose, trying and failing to lazily open my eyes. I swatted at
whatever was tickling my nose and heard a familiar chuckle. I opened my eyes, and looked
up at a smirking Meg.

“Morning, Cupcake,” she whispered. I grumbled and snuggled closer to her.

“Wha’ time ‘s zit?” I breathed, as laughter shook her chest.

“It's still early. It's only eight. You can go back to sleep.” She promised. I nodded and
wiggled, trying to get comfortable.
“Will you stay?” I asked, more pronounced, than before.

“Of course, Cupcake. Clarence just got here. He's gonna come up, and join the cuddle pile.”
She said, as I felt the bed dip behind me. I hummed in response.

“Good morning, Dean. I texted Sam and let him know that we would both be joining him for
dinner. I'd be happy to spend the day with you. We can go to The Roadhouse and visit your
friends, after dinner. I'm exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well, either.” Cas greeted me.

He nuzzled my neck and snuggled up behind me, slipping under the covers. I was so warm
and comfortable and felt so safe.

“‘Kay. Wake me up after lunch. Goodnight. Love you.” I mumbled, before drifting off to
sleep.

I shivered and moaned, as I felt hot kisses against my neck. I wiggled trying to get closer, as I
felt hands on my hips from in front of me and behind me. My eyes fluttered open, and I saw
Meg. I smiled at her, lazily.

She cupped my face and let her thumb drag over my jaw. I sighed, content. Cas let his teeth
drag over my neck, and I let out a low whine. Meg's eyes darkened, as she peered at me.

“Cas,” I groaned, as I involuntarily bucked my hips against Meg. “We're not alone here.” I
grumbled. He chuckled and stopped his ministrations.

“Does that bother you? I thought you enjoyed kissing Meg.” He asked in a light tone. I
blinked, trying to process his words, but my sleepy brain was taking too long to catch up.

“We're fine with it, if you're fine with it.” Meg supplied, taking pity on my confusion.

“It doesn't bother you? Either of you?” I asked, instead of answering his question. He let out
a light chuckle.

“No, Honey, it doesn't bother me. I trust you, and I trust Meg. If you want to kiss her
sometimes and cuddle, that's fine with me, so long as it’s consensual. I know you won't stray,
and I know where your heart lies, Dean. You told me you loved me this morning, and you're
not alone, in that sentiment. I'm very secure with what you and I have.” He told me. I nodded,
slowly, before my eyes flickered up to meet Meg's.

“And I'm not trying to date you. You're my best friend's girl, and I'm happy for Clarence. If I
get to mack on you sometimes, then that's just a bonus, but only if you're comfortable with
that. I care about you, too.” Meg agreed. I nodded, as I mulled over what they were telling
me.
“Yes, yes, I'm definitely okay with that.” I breathed, before peeking behind me. Cas gave me
an easy grin, with eyes full of love. “So… I wasn't planning on telling you that so early. But,
uh, I don't take it back. I do, ya know? I do love you.” I told him, forcing myself to be brave.
He beamed at me and pulled me into a kiss.

“I love you, Dean. It's always been you.” He promised, before pulling me back into a slow,
sweet kiss.

Meg nuzzled my neck and I turned to kiss her. Cas groaned, as he watched us, make out. Meg
settled her hands on my hips and her thumbs traced lazy circles onto my hipbones. Cas
snaked a hand under my shirt and I mewed against Meg.

I ground my bottom backwards, moving against his hard arousal. He slipped his hand into my
panties and he stroked me. I cried out and felt impossibly hot. He sucked on my neck and I
bucked against his fingertips.

Cas’ other fingers brushed my nipple, as his other hand rubbed my clit in just the right way.
My fingers dug into Meg's shoulders, as I clung to her. She nipped at my bottom lip and
thrust her tongue against mine.

Her hand moved to my other breast and I cried against her. Between her and Cas, I was
already close to climaxing. Meg pinched my nipple, as Cas rubbed me harder. I moaned, as
my back arched, and my toes curled. I screamed, as I came.

When I came back to myself, I felt Cas rutting behind me, and saw Meg rubbing herself
under her panties. I gasped, still feeling like my skin was too hot. Cas grunted and I surged
forward to latch my lips onto Meg's neck. She cursed and finished, as Cas and I laid panting
on each other. I felt pliant and sleepy.

“We should shower.” Cas suggested. I nodded, moving out of the bed.

“I'll be quick.” I told them, excusing myself.

I stripped out of my clothes and hopped into the shower, before it was done heating up. I
washed my body and my hair quickly. I shaved, and then hopped out to dry off. I brushed my
teeth and towel-dried my hair. I moisturized and carried my makeup bag into the bedroom.

Meg showered next. I ran a brush through my hair, and put on some black undergarments. I
pulled on a tight, ripped pair of black jeans. They ended just below my navel. I cuffed them at
my ankles and leafed through my closet. I opted for a soft looking emerald green crop top. It
had long sleeves and felt nice against my skin. I pulled on a well-worn flannel, feeling
immediately better in the layers. I pulled on thick socks, and the studded pair of heeled
combat boots that Rowena made me buy. They made my legs look so much longer.

I glanced over at Cas and the look he gave me, told me that he appreciated just how they
made my legs and butt look. I winked at him, before sitting down at the vanity next to my
bed. I pulled on my gloves and I unzipped my makeup bag.
Meg came out and I gestured to my drawer of undergarments for her. She nodded in thanks,
and I sped through a quick makeup. Cas claimed the bathroom next. Meg pulled on her jeans
from the night before and snagged a clean shirt from my closet. I smiled, when I saw it was
one of my old ones, grey, and soft from wear. She took the makeup out of my hands and
started to apply it herself. I rolled my eyes, but let her do what she wanted.

She played up my eyes with greens and blues, before adding a heavy black wing on top. She
added a little blush and a subtle sweep of highlight, before painting my mouth crimson. She
stepped back and surveyed her handiwork.

“Thank you,” I said, standing up to give her a hug.

“Anytime, Sunshine.” She mused, before sitting done and putting a bit on her face.

I took my brush and took my time brushing out the tangles in her hair. I pulled the top into
two little top knots, and left the rest down. I did the same to mine, as she finished her
makeup. I put on deodorant, before handing it out to her. Cas stepped out of the bathroom
with his pants already on. I took a moment to shamelessly check him out. God, he looks
good.

“I feel left out, without pigtails.” He teased, as he pulled his shirt on. I looked over at Meg
and she smirked, as she stood up.

“Have a seat Clarence. I'll fix that for ya.” She said with a wink.

Cas huffed out a laugh, and did as he was told. Meg put tiny pigtails in his hair and we all
looked at each other and laughed. He stood up and Meg grabbed her phone. We all cheesed
for the picture. We took some altogether, and some in pairs of two. I giggled, as Cas pried the
ponytail holders from his hair and dragged a hand through his hair to fix it.

“Are you ready to go see Sam?” He asked me, sweetly. I nodded, grinning, hard.

“I'm always ready, Angel.”

“Dean!” Sammy shouted, as Cas and I stepped inside of Bobby's house. I grinned and caught
him in my arms, when he ran over to me. I squeezed him, as he lifted me off of my feet.

“God, I friggin' missed ya, Sammy. I missed you, so freakin' much.” I cried, as tears slid
down my face.

“I missed you, Dean. It was so weird without you here.” Sam replied, holding me tightly. I
laughed, and squeezed him hard, as he set me back down on my feet. I hurriedly wiped at my
cheeks.
“Let me see ya. You look like you got even taller, already!” I exclaimed. I stood back and
surveyed his face. He looks good, and taller, if that's even possible. We both grinned at each
other, as Cas cleared his throat.

“Cas!” He said, as he wrapped Cas into a hug of his own.

“We’ve missed you, very much, Sam.” Cas told him, as their hug ended. Sam walked back
over to me and gingerly touched my hair.

“You look like such a girl, Dean.” Sammy teased me. I laughed.

“I am a girl, Bitch.” I snorted. Sammy just rolled his eyes.

“Jerk,” he retorted. “Come on, Cas. Wait till you see the backyard! They have bees!” Sam led
us through the house, excited to show us the new friends that he found.

Dinner was great. It was so good seeing Sammy. He's so happy with Bobby and Ellen. They
adore him and dote on him. You can tell he relishes in it. Who wouldn't? It makes my heart so
damn happy to see it. He finally gets to just be a kid. It's what I've always wanted for him.
Even if I couldn't be the one to give him this, I'm so friggin' glad that he has it. I'm so
grateful.

My face hurt from laughing and smiling so much. What a good problem to have. Cas and I
held hand through dinner and I just enjoyed being with some of my favorite people and the
amount of love around me. Sam and I kept catching each other looking at the other and
grinning. This is what I wish we could have had from the beginning.

The music was loud, as we walked into The Roadhouse. Jo spotted us, from the bar. Both she
and Ash were bartending tonight. I grinned and waved. Cas and I both sat on two of the few
empty barstools. Cas leaned over to me and pressed a kiss on my cheek. I flushed and turned
my face, so I could give him a quick kiss.

“Finally! Sam said you finally got your head out of your ass and started dating. I'm glad to
see it.” Jo exclaimed, happily. I laughed and bumped shoulders with Cas.

“I am very lucky to have her.” Cas told her.

“Oh, the two of you are cute. What are you drinking tonight, Brother?” Ash asked me. I
smirked at the endearment, knowing he lived to tease me.
“Club Soda with lime, on the rocks.” I replied, “Ooh, and a burger with fries.” I added,
wiggling my eyebrows. Jo laughed.

“And what about you, Handsome?” She asked Cas.

“A coke would be perfect,” he replied with a little smile of his own.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Jo pressed. He glanced over at me and I just shrugged.

“I'll get the same as Dean, if that's alright.” He ordered. Ash laughed and handed us our
drinks.

“Of course, Man, I can't have the two of you starvin' on me.” Ash replied, easily. I grinned
and leaned against Cas.

“How've you been?” I asked him.

“Stellar, my baby is almost back to its optimal length, before that bastard cut it. No one
touches the mullet, okay? No one.” He told us, with a small shiver, before disappearing into
the kitchen.

“Sam has been really great to have around the house.” Jo said, getting my attention. “He does
chores, without being asked. I think Mom has threatened him with bodily harm, if he doesn't
act like a kid, some of the time.” Jo relayed, with a laugh. I grinned, knowing full well that
Sammy probably wouldn't be stopping with the chores, anytime soon, but I didn't tell her
that.

“You know that you're welcome there whenever, too, right?” She told me, seriously. I
nodded.

“I appreciate that. I'm sure I'll take you up on it, sometime. I keep kinda weird hours now that
I'm working at Inferno, but I will definitely plan on staying over sometimes. It'd be nice to
catch some sleep with Sam there. It's been so weird, at the apartment. I'm not used to it being
so quiet. It's a little unnerving, sometimes.” I admitted, with a wry grin. She nodded,
sympathetically.

“Well, well, what have we here? You don't look so tough without your guard dogs. Someone
needs to put you in your place. Someone needs to teach you what happens to little entitled
bitches like you.” An angry voice hissed from behind me. Jo fingered something below the
bar, out of eyesight, and I knew it was probably a shotgun. I clenched my jaw and placed a
hand on Cas'.

“I got this.” I told him, quietly. He looked angry and unhinged, but nodded minutely, all the
same.

I got off my barstool and stood tall, turning around. Gordon Walker stared at me, looking
murderous. I smirked at him and crossed my arms.

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings, Sweetheart?” I cooed. I saw Jo smirking, out my peripheral. “I
forget how fragile some boys can be. You'd think a big, bad hunter like you, would have
thicker skin. I guess not, though. It's okay. I'm sure you're used to disappointing women on a
regular basis, aren't you, Darlin'?” I pressed. I knew that I was adding to the fire and salting
the wound, but until he lashes out, he's too unpredictable.

“Why don't you come to the back with me, and I'll show you how disappointing I'm not?” He
growled. I laughed loud and openly. Jo took the gun off of the floor and gripped it in her
hands, as a silent warning.

“To be honest, I'd rather go get a pap smear with a cactus. So, I don't think I'll be doing that.
Thanks, though. I’m positive that Alastair will be thrilled, when he finds out that you
disobeyed him, again. Crowley is gonna love cutting off your fingers, though.” I replied,
sweetly.

I winked at him and stared him down. His anger is growing and it's getting harder for him to
control himself. He's clenching both of his fists.

“This isn't over, Winchester. You're just a whore, and I'm going to put you in your place, on
your back, with your legs spread.” Gordon threatened me.

Cas was on his feet, before I could blink. Jo had the shotgun cocked and aimed at Gordon. I
stepped closer to Gordon, and made sure that we never lost eye contact.

“You can try, and if you do, then it will be the last thing you ever do. I'll cut off your dick and
feed it to you, before I gut you, like the spineless worm you are.” I promised him in a low
voice. “Do I look like I'm scared of you? You have to intimidate little girls to feel like a man.
What kind of pathetic excuse of a man, do that make you, huh?”

“Just say when you wanna dance, you little cocktease.” He breathed. I smirked at him.

“You should go, now. I can't promise that Jo won't get a little trigger happy, if you stay.” I
purred. Before Gordon could say anything more, Cas cut in.

“Leave, before I make you leave.” Cas growled, his voice colder than I've ever heard it, hard
and full of steel. Gordon nodded with a smirk.

“Double dipping, huh? I bet Rowena loves that.” Gordon ground out. I shrugged.

“She's fine with it. She knows. Bye now.” I dismissed him with a little wave. He clenched his
jaw and finally stalked off. When he was gone, Cas turned to face me.

“Dean, what the hell was that?” He demanded. I shrugged.

“He gave me problems last night at the club, so Rowena and Crowley made him kneel in
front of me and kiss my boots, while he apologized. I guess he's still sore about it. Alastair
made it clear, that he wasn't pleased with Gordon's behavior. I guess he didn't the hint.” I
huffed, before sitting back down on the bar stool. I pulled out my phone and sent a group
text, while things were still fresh.

To: Alastair, Crowley, Rowena

‘Gordon Walker was at The Roadhouse tonight. He confronted me and promised to put me in
my place – on my back, with my legs spread, like ‘the little cocktease I am.’ He's not going to
let this drop. He was ready to fight. Jo Harvelle had a shotgun pulled on him, otherwise, I'm
sure it would have been a much different outcome. He's reckless. This isn't somewhere that
tolerates that kind of behavior, not that any of you allow that behavior, either. He's too much
of wild card, for comfort. I just wanted to let you know and keep you informed.
-Dean'

I didn't wait for a response, before pocketing my phone. They’re all busy people and this isn't
emergent, otherwise I would have called.

“I don't like it, Dean.” Cas sighed. Jo put the gun back out of eyesight, and looked like she
wanted to say something, too, but decided against it.

“I don't either, but the alternative is me leaving, and them killing Sam.” I reminded him. He
bristled and he glowered at the pop in front of him, like the beverage was the reason for my
situation. “It won't go unpunished. They do protect me. You know that I'm not defenseless,
right?”

“I know that you can handle yourself, Honey, that doesn't mean that I want people harming
you or wishing injury upon you.” He said, looking up at me, letting his baby blues bore into
my eyes. I nodded.

“I know that. I know this isn't easy for you, either. I'm sorry.” I apologized, as the fight left
my body. I feel tired and boneless. He pulled me into his side and just held me for a little
while.

We ate and the mood gradually got back to its earlier cheerfulness. I was grinning and teasing
with everyone. Cas kept a hand on mine and made sure to keep touching me in some way,
like the physical reminder was helping tether him to reality. Either way, it made both of us
feel a little better, and breathe easier. I snickered and finished my club soda, before getting to
my feet.

“I'm gonna hit the head. My bladder is tiny. Be right back. Pray that there isn't a line.” I
announced, before pressing a kiss to his mouth and one tiny one on the tip of his nose. He
smiled at me and nodded.

“I'll say a little prayer to the angel of Thursday.” He promised with a wide grin.

“Thanks, Angel,” I sang, as I walked away.

I stretched, as I walked to the ladies' room. I pulled the door open and stepped inside. As
soon as the door closed, I knew that something was off. The hairs on the back of my neck
were standing up.
My hand flew to the door handle, but just as I tried to yank it open, someone slammed it
closed. I looked up and saw a big, dark hand holding it closed. I cursed under my breath. Of
course, it's him. God-fucking-damnit.

I only have one shot, and I have to make this count. He'll overpower me, easily. I rubbed the
ring on right hand, with my thumb, and then sprang into action.

I slammed my left foot back, just as I threw my head back to head-butt him. I brought my
right elbow into his gut, as hard as I could, before pivoting to bring my elbow down on his
extended arm. I managed to knock him off balance. He flailed, and I punched into his armpit,
before twisting his arm behind his back.

“You little bitch,” he spat.

I didn’t have the room or the leverage to open the door and get out. He started to fall forward,
just to turn on the ball of his foot and force all of his weight backwards. His body slammed
me into the floor.

I landed with a grunt. He cursed, when his weight landed on his arm, too. I blinked, dazed.
The wind was knocked out of me, and he's still has all of his weight on top of me. I kicked
and twisted my body, letting go of his arm, so I could push him off of me.

He moved, but not the way I wanted him to. He grunted and maneuvered himself onto his
stomach, still on top of me. He pinned one arm down, so I thrust the palm of my hand into his
nose with my free hand.

He hissed and backhanded me, before pinning that arm with the other one. I brought my knee
up as hard as I could, hitting him in the groin. He cursed and backhanded me, again. I froze,
when I felt something cold and sharp against my neck. I didn't have to look down to see that
he had a knife against my throat.

“You're such a fucking coward, you little pissant.” I seethed. He just gave me a cruel smile,
blood falling from his nose, into his mouth and onto my face. I grimaced and kept trying to
wiggle free.

“Keep going, and see how deeply I cut you.” He threatened.

I rolled my eyes and didn't give him the satisfaction of visibly scaring me. He pawed at my
pants, until he got them open and I knew exactly what he planned on doing to me.

“Ready to feel a real man?” He asked me, as he tried to work on his own pants.

“If you see one, let me know.” I gritted out, doing my best to sound sarcastic.

He moved the hand with the knife lower. He pressed against my side, as he pulled at our
clothes. I lunged forward, while he was distracted and head-butt him, hard. He fell off of me
and I tried to scramble to my feet. I got to my knees, before he grabbed my ankle and
slammed me back down against the ground. I shrieked and tried to kick him off of me.
He sliced through the back of my flannel and nicked my back in places. I could feel the
stinging. He snaked an arm underneath of me, and brought me closer to him. He was rutting
against me and dug his hand into the front of my jeans. I hissed and kept moving, making it
as difficult as possible for him. He gripped my hair and yanked, bringing the top of my body
off of the floor. I twisted enough for him to claw at his arms and catch him in the face with an
elbow.

“Get off of me!” I shouted, angrily.

He pushed my pants down and I heard fumbling behind me. The tip of the knife slid into my
side and I growled. He let go of my hair and I clawed at the hand holding the knife. He
grunted, like he wasn't expecting me to go for it.

He increased the pressure, before I managed to knock it away. I pushed all of my weight
against him and slid onto my back, and punched him in the face.

“Bitch!” He yelled, hitting me in the face.

I screamed, as I scrambled for the knife, blindly with one hand. I grabbed the cold metal,
ignoring the way it sliced into my fingers. I grabbed a better grip on the handle and brought it
into his abdomen. He kept fighting me, trying to wrestle it away from me. I head-butt him,
again, and sliced his cheek, as I hit him with the hand that had the knife in it.

I heard the door slam open. I glanced over and I took a blow to the jaw. I cried out and
dropped the knife, so I could press my fingers into his eyes. He screamed, as he was dragged
off of me. I kicked in between his legs, before he was out of range.

I pushed myself off of the floor, and snarled at him. I yanked my pants up and fixed them,
before assessing the damage done. Jo had her knee pressing into his throat and Cas had a hold
of him.

“If you would be so kind, as to escort this filth to the edge of the property, we'll dispose of
him, properly.” Rowena said, stepping into the bathroom. Cas and Jo nodded.

“Are you okay, Dean?” Cas asked me. I nodded.

“All superficial wounds. He hits like the little bitch he is.” I taunted, as they dragged him to
his feet.

“Lilith decided she wanted to play with you, before Alastair decided what he wants to do
with you.” Rowena told him.

They dragged him out of the bathroom, as he started pleading with him. She looked at me
and tutted. She slipped an arm around my waist and helped support me. I whimpered, as the
adrenaline started to leave my body.

“You're coming with me to the club. Alastair needs to see the damage. He'll punish him,
accordingly. I'll be placing a protection spell on you tonight. I'm so sorry, My Dear.” She
cooed.
 “I'm okay.” I told her.

“You're not, but you will be.” She promised.

‘No, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth.

And I'ma let you speak, if you just let me breathe.
I've been polite, but won't be caught dead,
Lettin' a man tell me what I should do with my bed.
Keep my exes in check, in my basement.
‘Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent.
I could play nice or I could be a bully.
I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be...

Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware.

But I'd rather be a real nightmare, than die unaware…
But I'm glad to be a real nightmare, so save me your prayers…

I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night…’

Chapter End Notes

Comments warm my heart. 🖤

 Home
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Home" -- MGK featuring X Ambassadors & BeBe
Rexha

‘Look, I didn't power through the struggle,

Just to let a little trouble knock me out of my position,
And interrupt the vision.
After everything I witnessed,
After all of these decision,
All these miles, feet, inches,
They can't add up to the distance that I have been through…
Just to get to a place where even if there's no closure,
I'm still safe.
I still ache from tryin' to keep pace.
Somebody give me a sign.
I'm startin' to lose faith.’

Chapter Thirteen:

I pressed firmly against my side, trying to keep pressure on where Gordon had stabbed me.
Rowena exuded controlled rage and calmness, twisting contradictions and emotions, as she
led me out of The Roadhouse.

She kept an arm firmly around my waist, and helped keep me steady on my feet. I was
grateful for her, because I ached and felt an exhaustion that seared into my body, past my
bones, and straight to my soul.

Cas ran over to us, once he helped dump the predatory hunter into one of the two awaiting
cars. He ran his hands over my shoulders and down my arms, like he was checking to make
sure that I was real. His eyes scanned my body, checking for injury.
“I'm fine, Cas.” I whispered.

He looked down into my face and I could see the worry and anger etch across his face. He
leaned down and touched his forehead to mine, but pulling me against him and wrapping me
– and Rowena – into a warm, crushing hug, despite the awkward angles. I sighed into him
and let the way he smelled fill my senses. Between them, I feel safe.

“I love you.” I breathed. The way his arms tightened around me, let me know that he heard
me.

“I love you, so much, Dean. I want to kill him. He shouldn't have even touched you.” He
murmured.

I knew that he was beside himself. He didn't know what to do with all of his anger. I didn't
blame him. I couldn't. I'd feel the same way, in his place, if our roles were reversed.

“Please trust that it will be taken care of, My Dear. I'm sure if we had waited a minute longer,
Dean would have killed him, herself. She had the upper hand, when you found them, did she
not?” Rowena spoke up. Cas nodded.

“I'm so proud of you.” He told me. I gave him a wry smile. “We'll pick you up from the club,
when you're ready to go home. You're staying at Bobby and Ellen's tonight. Ellen will patch
you up, once you're done with Alastair.” Cas explained. I just nodded, numbly.

“Do you need my keys?” I asked him, instead. He just shook his head. He pressed a heated
kiss to my mouth, one that I was grateful for.

“I'll try not to keep her long, Dear. Alastair wants to see the extent of the damage to both of
them, himself. I’ll patch her up, in the meantime, and give her something for the pain. It was
a pleasure to meet you, Sweet Boy, even if the circumstances are less than favorable. I will
see to it that she is better protected. She will explain more, after we are finished.” Rowena
promised Cas. She slipped a card, seemingly out of thin air, out and handed it to Cas. “If you
ever need anything, call or text this number. It has my information, as well as Fergus'.”

“I'll see you soon, Angel.” I told Cas. He nodded, stiffly and let me go.

Once I got out of the car, I followed Rowena inside. I knew that Gordon had already been
dragged inside and I didn't want to look even weaker, by not walking inside without
assistance. I shrugged off my ripped flannel and held it loosely in my grip, as I sauntered into
the club. I took care to keep my stride regular and purposeful.

“Holy shit,” I heard someone whisper. “He really did a number on her. Did you see the
beating he got. She did all that alone? I call bullshit.” The same voice rose in disbelief.
As I was walking past the bar, a hand gripped my arm, and pulled me to a stop. I twisted my
face into a grimace and let my eyes flick down to the fingers digging into my wrist.

“Let me go, if you want to keep those.” I hissed. His friends paled, but he just looked cocky
and every part of my being itched to punch that look off of his offendingly average face.

“Didn't you learn your lesson about threatening men? You're playing with the big boys, Baby
Doll. We don't take kindly to you putting your hands on a hunter.” He spewed.

Rowena had stopped and was watching us with interest. We locked eyes and I gave her a
minute shake of the head. I got this.

“That's what has you this upset? He's a hunter, so you care? That's what has your panties in a
bunch? Sweetheart, I'm a hunter. He couldn't handle me, and neither could you. He'd already
be gutted, if they hadn't pulled him off of me.” I growled.

Only then, did he have the decency to look shifty and uncomfortable. Still, he didn't release
me. I swung my weight to the opposite side and used the momentum to turn, whip around,
and land a heavy blow with my fist. His grip loosened, but still held firm.

I brought my knee up into his gut, before kicking him between the legs. He fell to his knees,
and I used my elbow to deliver a satisfying hit to the side of his head. He fell to the ground
and eyed his friends.

One charged me from behind. I let him get a hand on my shoulder, before brought an elbow
into his gut and flipped him forward, onto the ground. I yanked his hair back, and brought my
knee to his throat, applying enough pressure to pin him.

“Are you done? Or do I need to slit your throat?” I seethed, I held out an empty hand and
Rowena walked over to me and handed me a knife. I pressed the point against his neck and
waited.

“We're done.” He whined. I pressed harder and let break skin.

“Next time, you'll be dead.” I told him. I stood up and went to Rowena. I followed her to the
back, knowing that someone else would take care of the bumbling bunch of idiots by the bar.
I was pissed and I knew that rage radiated off of my body, as we stepped into the room that
Alastair was waiting in.

His head whipped up, when he felt us walk inside. It must be a demon thing. He sniffed and
the look on his face was murderous. I knew I had blood on my person by three other people
and that he knew as much.

I walked up to him and let him surveil me. He stood up and circled me, taking his time. He
lifted my arms and lifted my shirt off of me. I'm sure it's cut to hell, anyway. I stood in the
room, clad only in my pants, boots, and bra. I felt uncomfortable and exposed, but I was still
more angry, than anything else.

“You did all of that to him, yourself?” He asked me, softly. I gave him a curt nod.
“Yeah, him and the two morons by the bar.” I replied, looking up and making eye contact
with him. He smirked and looked proud. “I had him, when they found me. I would have
finished the job.” I added, flexing the fingers that held the knife. He grinned.

“Oh, that I very much believe. Even so, I'm displeased with the liberties taken against you.
We'll be making an example out of him. He'll be left on display, until it has sunk in that you
are mine and they will not challenge that.” Alastair purred. I smiled, at that.

“Good, maybe Lilith can get creative with his man-parts, since he tried to rape me?” I
suggested, looking at the blonde giving him a demented, predatory leer. She nodded, and
bounced on her feet, excitedly. She glanced over at me and cooed.

“Dean! I love your hair.” She exclaimed, skipping over. She twirled a loose lock, as she
looked at the little top knots on top of my head. I smiled at her.

“I can do yours, before you play with him, if you want.” I told her, smiling. She nodded, and
Rowena handed me hair-ties, wordlessly. She sat down in a nearby chair, and I set to work,
putting her hair into two high pigtails. “I'm putting all of your hair in them, that way you're
less likely to get blood in your hair.” I explained.

“That's so smart.” She said, brightly. She clapped her hands together and leered at Gordon,
who was strung up against the wall, bleeding profusely. It didn't take me long to fix her hair.
She gave me a hug, before bounding back over to her captive. I'm getting whiplash from
everything tonight.

Rowena tutted and made me sit in the vacated chair. She started cleaning my injuries and I
hissed at the sting. I didn't complain, as she bandaged me up, and sutured my side, giving me
neat little stitches. She wrapped a thin gold bracelet around my wrist, when she was finished.
It shrank and glowed with her power. I knew it was something to protect me.

“You should take a few days off.” Crowley said, speaking up for the first time. I looked up at
him, surprised.

“It's not that I don't want to… but I don't want them thinking that he scared me off.” I sighed,
not knowing which option was better. It felt like a no-win situation.

“Come for a short while, then go home. Make face and let them see how strong you are.”
Alastair decided. I nodded, agreeing with him, because, what else was I gonna do? “I need to
do something, Dean, and I don't want you to think that it's a punishment, because it's only
necessary, for your protection.” He told me.

I watched him, warily. Crowley walked over with a small torch and a brand. Dread fell heavy
in my stomach. My eyes flicked over to Alastair, but I didn't say anything. He's branding me?

Alastair took the supplies from Crowley and turned the torch on. He held the branding tool
over the flame for a minute, letting it heat up. I glowered, but didn't complain. He pressed the
hot metal against the front of my shoulder. I hissed, as he took the metal off of me. He used
my knife to cut his thumb, and then brushed it over the open wound.
“Now you're marked. They won't be able to touch you, without my knowing. If you need me,
I'll be there. All you have to do is think it, with intent. And I'll be able to find you.” He
explained. I nodded, sleepily. “I'm proud at how you handled yourself. Go get some rest,
Little One. Rowena will fetch you tomorrow.” He dismissed me. I nodded. Rowena produced
my phone and I dialed Cas' number.

“Hey Angel, I'm done here. Whenever you're ready, would you mind heading over?” I asked
him.

“We're on our way, Dean. I will see you shortly.” He promised, sweetly, before hanging up. I
felt grateful. My body sagged with exhaustion. God, I just want to sleep. I was boneless
against the chair.

“Wait till you see him tomorrow, Dean. I'll mark him up so prettily for you.” Lilith promised.
I nodded, with my eyes closed.

“Thanks, Lil.” I murmured.

Someone picked me up and carried me out of the room, bridal style. The carried me through
the club and kept holding me, once we were outside. I started to doze off, as everything
finally caught up with me. I heard a car pull up and talking, but I was too tired and too out of
it to accurately make out what they were saying and who was talking. Someone tucked me
into the backseat, and I let sleep take me.

I groaned, as I was moved. Someone picked me up and started walking with me. The smell
told me that it was Cas and that we were at Bobby's. There was more talking that I was too
tired to listen to. We went up some stairs and then I was laid on a soft bed.

“Clothes off,” I grumbled. I tried and failed to open my eyes. I huffed and blindly tried to
yank off my shoes, but my limbs weren't cooperating.

“I'll get them, Dean.” Cas promised. I hummed in acknowledgement. Sure enough, he gently
slipped off my shoes and socks. I lifted my hips, so he could take off the jeans that I had all
but painted on. He left my underwear in place and I was thankful for it.

“Bra,” I complained. He pulled me, so I was sitting up and wrapped his arms around me, so
he could remove the offending article of clothing. “Thank you.” I sighed, gratefully. “Can
you stay, Angel? Please?” I asked him, forcing my eyes open.

He nodded and kissed me. He touched his forehead to mine, before laying me back down and
covering me with some blankets. I heard him taking off his clothes, before I felt him slide
into bed next to me.

“Love you.” I breathed, before losing consciousness.

I hissed, as I moved, and felt like I was pulling scabs open, all over my body. I cried out, as I
sat up. Cas sat up next to me, and rubbed the top of my back, taking care to avoid the gauze
wrapped around the haphazard cuts. I leaned into him and sagged against him. He kissed my
forehead and held me.

“You scared me.” He told me, quietly.

“I'm sorry. I didn't… I wasn't trying to. Thank you for finding me.” I whimpered, crying into
him. He peppered the top of my head with kisses and he let me cry it out. I'm hurting inside
and out, today. Everything just feels so heavy and raw.

I was slow moving. Cas brought some of my clothes from the apartment, but I still wore one
of Bobby's shirts, enjoying the fact that the loose material scarcely touched my back. I
wrestled on a sports bra, knowing I had to put on other clothes, to go save face at the club,
soon. I was in an old pair of soft leggings and nothing else. I had slippers on and my hair was
pulled into a sloppy bun. I had no desire to paint makeup, so I decided against it. They know
I'm hurt, already. I refuse to cover it up.

Jo volunteered to help me get ready. Cas already went home. I had to basically kick him out,
telling him that he needed to get some sleep, actual sleep. He couldn't miss school, again, for
me tomorrow. I put my foot down. It helped that Gabe backed me up on the schooling.

All too soon, I was changing. I opted for a tight, strapless, bandeau top. I didn't need to wear
a bra with it and that was a godsend, in itself. I paired it with high-waisted black shorts. They
were short enough to be indecent and showed a multitude of bruises left by Gordon's fingers
and all of the fighting. I put on the studded black pair of Mary Jane's and my gloves. The
jewelry was still on, since I never took it off. Jo helped me fasten my hair in a less frenzied
looking bun, piling my hair back on top of my head. I left my face bare and grabbed my
leather jacket.

True to her word, Rowena picked me up and nodded in approval to my outfit of choice. We
didn't say much, during the drive to the club. It was a comfortable silence. She held my hand
the entire way. It was nice. It made me feel more at ease.
I left my jacket in the car. I strode into the club on Rowena's arm and the quiet murmuring
immediately went silent. All eyes were on us. The tension in the building was supercharged.
My eyes flicked over to the usually empty stage. Alastair had Gordon strung up with
restraints. His body sagged. He was bloody, bruised, and whining.

Crowley handed me a drink, as he kissed the top of my head. I gave him a small smile, in
thanks. I sipped the drink, grateful that it wasn't just club soda, this time.

“Let it be known that anytime you hurt what is mine, you are disrespecting me. Should you
harm Dean, I will take it as you raising a hand to me. This happened with three men last
night. I suggest that it does not happen again, unless you want to be fed your extremities,
before being flayed…

“Unless Dean takes matters into her own hands, and disposes of you, herself. She has my full
permission to do so. Is that clear? Spilling her blood is an invitation to spill all of yours.”
Alastair's voice boomed throughout the club. No one dared argue.

Lilith clapped her hands together, when she saw me. Her hair was still in the pigtails from the
night before. I smiled, at the strange demoness. How can someone so scary, be so adorable?

“Do you like your present, Dean?” She asked, as she skipped up to me. I nodded with a
smile.

“I love it. Thank you, for thinking of me.” I told her, as I let go of Rowena, so I could hug the
girl. “I need another drink. Want me to get you a milkshake, too?” I asked her. She beamed at
me and took my hand, before leading me to the bar.

“Two of my favorite girls in one visit? You know how to make a guy feel special.” Jimmy
mused with a wink. Lilith giggled and gave him a small smile. He produced a pink glass that
glittered, as he made the milkshake. Lilith clapped excitedly. “I got some new glasses for my
best girl. I hope you like them.” He said, as he handed her the frozen treat.

“I do! You're the best ever.” Lilith sighed, slurping happily on the milkshake. He held up a
bottle of vodka and looked at me questioningly. I nodded, and he made my drink quickly.

“Thank you.” I told him, before we left to go take our place with the others.

Surprisingly, time passed by quickly enough. I didn't stay long. I had one more drink, before
Rowena took me back to Bobby's. Sam was devastated, when he saw me. He begged to stay
in the guestroom and I readily agreed. I was back in one of Bobby's loose shirts, and tucked
into bed, before I knew it.

Sam held my hand, as we laid in bed. There isn't much I can say that will make him feel any
better about the situation. I hadn't told him that Dad had called my prepaid phone, or that I
was ignoring him, until tomorrow. I knew avoidance wasn't an actual solution, but I don't
think it'd hurt to put off that conversation for one more day.

It didn't take long, until I felt myself begin to nod off. Sam laid next to me, snoring softly. For
the first time in a while, I felt safe and exhausted enough to slip into an easy, deep sleep.

‘Look, I've been through so much pain, and it's hard to maintain any smile on my face,
‘Cause there's madness on my brain.
So I gotta make it back, but my home ain't on the map.
Gotta follow what I'm feelin' to discover where it's at.
I need the memory, in case this fate is forever,
Just to be sure these last days are better.
And if I have any enemies,
To give me the strength to look the devil in the face, and make it home safe.

Now tell me –
How did all my dreams turn to nightmares?
How did I lose it, when I was right there?
Now I'm so far, that it feels like it's all gone to pieces.
Tell me why the world never fights fair.’
 It's My Life
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "It's My Life" -- Bony Jovi

‘This ain’t a song for the brokenhearted,

No silent prayer for the faith-departed.
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd.
You're gonna hear my voice, when I shout it out loud.

It's my life.
It's now or never.
I ain't gonna live forever.
I just want to live, while I'm alive.
My heart is like an open highway.
Like Frankie said, ‘I did it my way.’
I just want to live, while I'm alive.
It's my life.’

Chapter Fourteen:

Loud ringing filled my ears and I whined as I blindly smacked my arm out, trying to silence
the offending noise, without actually having to open my eyes. I heard something clatter onto
the floor and I grimaced, as the noise seemed to only get louder. I kept moving my arm, until
I lost leverage and fell onto the floor.

“Dean?” Sam called out, sitting up, sleepily.

I gave him a weak wave from the floor. He snickered and his rude ass didn't even try to help
me up. Typical little brother move. I groaned, as I pushed myself off of the ground. I winced,
when I felt some of my scabs rip open. Lovely. I picked up the prepaid cell phone and
answered it, as I laid back down in the bed, and snuggled back under the blankets, as I felt
blood seep into my sleep shirt.
“‘Lo,” I breathed into the phone, still too tired for this.

“Dean, you worthless, little shit. I've been calling you for days.” Dad growled. I rolled my
eyes and glanced over at Sam, since he was still sitting up.

“Dad?” He mouthed. I nodded, again. He groaned and fell back onto his pillow.

“Yeah, what do you want?” I grit out. I really haven't missed the man. He's always such a
miserable, angry sonofabitch. I heard him growl into his receiver. I just sighed, still wishing
that I was still asleep.

“Is that any way to speak to your father?!” Dad demanded.

“Since you have zero responsibility and I'm now Alastair's property, because of you? Yeah,
I’m pretty sure it is.” I ground out. His breath hitched and I could just picture the vein in his
forehead twitching with anger. It's not a sight I ever wanted to see again.

“I don't know what I did to deserve such an ungrateful little bitch, like you.” He hissed.

“You must just be lucky, I guess.” I replied, evenly. Sam looked at me and he was biting
down on his lip to keep from laughing. I glanced at him and wiggled my eyebrows. He
slapped his hand over his mouth, so no noise spilled out.

“What's this I hear about you picking fights with hunters? Gordon Walker is a respected man
in the hunter community and I will not tolerate your insolence. Why do you continually go
out of your way to embarrass me?” Dad griped, trying to make my situation about him, to no
one's surprise.

“Are you serious?” I asked him, letting out a bark of humorless laughter in disbelief. “Not
everything is about you, John. Let’s just do a quick inventory, shall we, Dad? I’ve been
raising your kid, I've been paying all of your bills, I've been supplying you with the only
legitimate form of money that you have access to, I've been cleaning and fixing and buying
everything for you.

“How exactly are you suffering? You beat the shit out of me on a regular basis. I make sure
you don't drink yourself to death, die in a bar fight, or choke on your own vomit. I’ve been
making sure that you have a roof over your head. What exactly are you hurting for? Lord
knows your fucking ego is big enough. And what do you do? You dangle Sammy over my
head, because you know that I would do anything for that kid or to guarantee his safety. And
do you care? No. Are you thankful? Hell no. You never have been.

“Gordon is such a fucking joke. He's probably the one hunter who is a bigger joke than you
are. He sought me out. Alastair made it crystal fucking clear to him that I was off limits. Did
he listen, after he was made to apologize? No. No, he fucking didn't. What did he do? He
sought me out, again. He was warned, again. Did he walk away, when given the chance? No,
Dad, he fucking didn't.

“He thought it would be a good idea to attack me and try to force himself on me. He stabbed
me and tried to rape me. But I'm just a little bitch and I should just roll over and take it,
because that’s what you've made me do with you, right? You just beat me into submission and
think I should let anyone walk all over me. Newsflash, Asshole, I only let you, because I had
to.

“Like it or not, you raised a hunter. I don't have to lay down and take anything. If Jo hadn't
pulled Gordon off of me, he wouldn't have just gotten beaten and stabbed, Dad. I would have
finished what I started, and I would have left him gutted on that bathroom floor, like the sorry
piece of trash that he is. No one would miss him, not a fucking soul, save for you, apparently.

“He knew what kind of trouble he was bringing on himself, when he attacked me. He's a big
boy and he can deal with the consequences. It's his own fault that Alastair decided to make an
example out of him. It's his own fault that Lilith got to carve him up, so nicely.” I growled. I
clenched my fist so hard that I felt my nails break skin. I shook my head, trying to get my
anger under control.

“You're such a fucking disappointment, Deanna. You're going to regret this. You have a lot of
groveling to do.” Dad warned me.

“Oh, do I? That's so funny. I know that Alastair spoke to you and was crystal clear with your
rules. Any further trouble or debt you accrue is on you and on you alone. Not me. Not Sam.
Just you. I bet you didn't like that, did you? You were given a clean slate and a house and an
expense stipend and that still wasn't enough for you. You still found a way to fuck it up.

“If you come after me or Sam, you don't just have to worry about Alastair flaying you alive,
Dad. You need to worry about me. I won't take it laying down this time. I will put you down,
if you try to touch either one of us. Why don't you do what you do best and drink yourself
into another stupor and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of? It sucks, if you have
anything else to say, because I'm fucking done.” I hissed, ending the call and blocking his
number.

“Holy shit,” Sam bit out, as soon as the phone was out of my hands. “Did that really just
happen?” He breathed. I raked a hand over my face.

“Yep. Can you go update Bobby, really quick? Just that John is gunning for us and will
probably lash out? Come back, when you're done, if you want. I'm going back to sleep.”

I padded downstairs slowly, wincing. I need to clean my injuries and I'm not looking forward
to it. I'm sure I look like hell, since that's exactly what I feel like. I need supplies, so I can
clean them, after I shower. Jo waved me over and grabbed the medical supplies she had
waiting for me.

“Come on, Deano, I'll help you, after you shower.” She told me, as she led me back upstairs
to the bathroom.
“Thanks, Jo.” I breathed, once we were both in the bathroom and the door closed behind us. I
flipped on the shower and yanked the hair tie out of my hair. I stripped out of the baggy shirt
and underwear I was wearing. I winced and hazarded a glance at the mirror.

So much of my body is bruised to hell and all marked up. It's bad enough that I was already
scarred to hell. I huffed felt my anger rise, again. God, I'm so fucking ugly. I don't know what
Cas even sees in me. I'm just a worthless, waste of space.

“Did you really tell John off?” Jo asked me, as she sat on the closed toilet. I nodded and
stepped into the shower. I grit my teeth and adjusted the water, so it wouldn’t boil me alive. I
slowly cleaned my body, trying to make my wounds worse.

“I'm glad you did. Whatever you said, he deserved to hear it. He's an awful human being and
he doesn't deserve to breathe. If I thought I could get away with it, he's already be shot and
buried somewhere deserted.” She admitted.

I hiccupped and cried, under the hot spray of water. My eyes burned and I sagged against the
shower wall. I'm so fucking tired of all of this. I can't even stop, because I can't fathom the
alternative. I wiped at my face and took a deep breath to get my emotions under control. I
breezed through washing my hair, washing my face, and shaving my underarms and legs. I
rinsed off and stepped out of the shower and saw an abnormally quiet Jo. But, what even is
there to say?

“Thank you.” I told her, softly. She gave me a surprised look, with confusion all over her
face. “I – I, uh, I just… Thank you, for everything. Thank you, for helping with Sam. I know
he's more comfortable staying here with you, for a pseudo older sister. Thank you, for having
my back, and for caring.

“I do think that I could have killed Gordon, if you and Cas hadn't found me, but… It's a really
big friggin' relief that I didn't have to. I… You were raised a hunter, like I was. There are
some things that you understand, that I don't think anyone else really would. Ya know? I
just… I'm really grateful to have you… So, thank you.” I breathed, trying to keep my voice
from breaking. I wrapped a towel around my body and she wrapped me in a hug.

“God, Dean, you don't have to thank me for that. We're practically family. You're stuck with
me. It's like Bobby always says, ‘Family don't end with blood,’ and that totally applies here.
And for the record, I would help you get rid of and bury the body. Okay? I know that you'd
do the same for me.

“Remember when we were thirteen and that guy kept creeping on me, at The Roadhouse, so
you decked him, because he wouldn't leave me alone? He got so mad. He was trashed and he
tried to grab me, right after you hit him, to prove a point.

“You walked right up to him, stomped on foot, kneed him in the dick, and hit him again and
broke his nose. I don't think Mom has ever been so impressed. She and Bobby dragged his
out and he never bothered me, again. You didn't care if hitting him would put you in danger.
You just saw me in trouble and helped.
“It's the same for me, okay? I'm here and anyone who fucks with you will get hell unleased
on them. That's a promise. I love you, Deano.” Jo promised.

“I love you, too, Jo-lly Bean.”

“You know what would be fun, that we've never really done?” Jo asked, as we walked into
the diner.

“What?” I replied, letting my eyes scan the restaurant for Cas.

“Going out and dancing and having a few drinks.” Jo sighed, looking wistful.

“Ooh, like a club?” Anna asked, sitting down with us in a booth. I saw Cas and waited to sit
down. He wrapped me in a hug and I felt all the tension I was holding in my body dissipate.
He always smells so freaking good and his hugs are perfect. I could just spend forever
wrapped up in him and melt happily into a puddle.

“Yes!” Jo exclaimed. Anna laughed, and mulled over her words.

“Well, we could go to Inferno. They have under twenty-one nights once a month or every
other week, or something. And it's not like Meg and Dean don't have an in. It could be fun.
There's tons of security on those nights, so no one gets super crazy. I think they have one
coming up in a couple days. It would be fun! We should go! I bet Charlie and Meg would be
down. You could ask Balthazar, Cassie. Gabe might even go, if we ask. Or Benny, even. It
would be so fun in a group!” Anna planned, excitedly.

“Let me talk to Rowena and Alastair. If they're okay with it, then we definitely can, okay? I'm
still feeling things out, there. I haven't been working for him for very long.” I tentatively
agreed.

“That's what I'm talkin' about!” Jo cheered. I laughed. Their energy was contagious.

“Will you come, Cas?” I looked up at Cas, as I asked him. He gave me a lazy smile and
nodded.

“I'd be delighted to accompany you, Dean. I always like spending time with you, Honey.” He
promised.

I stretched up on my tiptoes and pressed and kiss to his mouth. He tightened his grip around
my waist and deepened the kiss. I sighed happily, and licked into his mouth. Fuck, if he didn't
always taste delicious. He tastes like that fancy lavender honey iced coffee that Gabe just
started selling at the diner.

He bit down on my bottom lip and I moaned, against him. I pressed myself as close to him, as
I could. He stroked the side of my face, and I let myself get lost in the kiss. The chaste
embrace was quickly turning filthy. I broke the kiss, and sucked greedy mouthfuls of oxygen
down. He leaned down and touched his forehead to mine.

“I love you,” I whispered. I glanced up and he gave a soft smile.

“And I love you, Dean.” He promised. I hummed in contentment. We sat down with our
friends and the girls started making hypothetical plans. I pulled out my phone to text Ro to
see if it was even a possibility, before they got their hopes up.

‘To Rowena:
Hi Sweetheart – quick (and possibly dumb) question for ya – Inferno has a ‘Under Twenty-
One’ night coming up, right? Do you think it might be possible for my friends to come and
dance? I know I'm gonna be there most nights, anyways, but I wasn't sure if that was frowned
upon, or not.
*smiley face with sweat dripping down emoji* I thought it would be best to just ask you and
to not assume. Just let me know.
XO,
Dean’

“I sent Rowena a text. We'll see what she says, okay?” I told them.

“Bangin'. It's gonna be so fun.” Jo decided happily.

I woke up to buzzing and sleepily grabbed my phone. I didn't have to go to Inferno tonight,
but I decided that I was going to, anyway. I wanted to speak to Rowena in person, and I
wanted to stay in the habit of showing my face. Plus, I had let Jo talk me into agreeing to
come to The Roadhouse tomorrow for karaoke night. She knows I'm a sucker for a good jam
sesh, especially if I can sweet talk other people into singing with me.

As soon as I had my phone in hand, someone rapped on the front door to the apartment. I
clambered to my feet and sleepily made my way to the source of all the noise. I huffed and
peeked through the peephole and saw Rowena. I smiled and tried to wipe the sleep away
from my eyes.

“Hello, Dearie,” Rowena sang, as I let her come inside. “I hope you don't mind my intrusion.
I wanted to check on your stitches and thought I might help you get ready, since you're set on
coming in tonight.” She explained.

“Thank you,” I murmured, before wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into a hug.
She took a second, and then hugged me back. I hummed in appreciation, before pulling away.

“Are you sure that you wouldn't rather rest tonight, Dear One?” She asked me, cradling my
face and pressing the back of her hand to my forehead. “You're a wee bit warm.” She tutted.
“I'm not surprised. You've been pushing yourself too hard. You'll be taking the night off, and
that's that. You can stay here, or you can use my guestroom. I'll see to you, myself.” She
decided. I nodded, too lethargic to argue.”

“I think I have some tylenol. I can take some to bring down the fever and rest.” I mused,
longing for my bed.

“Alright. Can you sit down for me, while I take a look at your incisions?” She asked,
gesturing to the kitchen table. I nodded and padded over. I pulled off my shirt, so she could
see how I was healing. I shivered at the cold, and folded my arms across my chest to stay
decent.

I zoned out, as much as I could, as Rowena cleaned and redressed my wounds. She put on
antiseptic and gave me an elixir to take. I eyed it, and took it in one swallow, grimacing at the
taste.

“That will help with any infection and help you sleep a bit tonight. I'll have you come in early
on Friday, and you can help kickoff the Under Twenty-One Night. I think it would be a good
idea for you to partake with your friends.

“As long as you fever is gone tomorrow, you're fine to take the night off and send some time
with your friends and sing your karaoke. Don't tell Fergus, but he secretly has a soft spot for
it. He can't sing to save his life, the poor dear, but damn if he doesn't try.” Rowena told me. I
giggled and pictured it, immediately.

“Do you ever host karaoke nights?” I asked her. She shook her head, but looked thoughtful.

“No… But I think Fergus could be persuaded. Maybe you and your lot could mention it,
when you come to the club on Friday?” She suggested with a devious smile. I nodded and
huffed another little laugh.

“I'm picturing Bon Jovi with cowboy hat. I bet Crowley secretly loves some Bon Jovi. Who
wouldn't wanna rock out to 'Dead or Alive,' with their newest, favorite employee? I'll
conveniently get Meg or Jo to record some of the performances and we can show him. It'll be
great. Maybe we could offer up prizes as incentive? Like, for people to participate and
actually try, so it's still classy and not a giant shit-show?” I plotted, thinking aloud.

“Ooh, yes, Darling. I do like the sound of that. Great minds think alike, Dearest.” She smiled,
as helped me back to bed. She plugged in my phone and had me take some tylenol. She
tucked me back into bed and placed two bottles of water on my bedside table. “I'll pop by in
the morning to check on you. Tell your friends not to worry about you, and then please try to
sleep.” She ordered, before kissing my forehead and taking her leave.

I nodded, and did as she asked. I sent everyone the same text message saying that I was
exhausted and going to sleep off a fever, and that I would touch base in the morning. I let my
eyes slip closed, as I heard Rowena close and lock the door behind her.
 ‘This is for the ones who stood their ground,
For Tommy and Gina, who never backed down.
Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake.
Luck ain't even lucky, got to make your own breaks…

Better stand tall, when they're calling you out.

Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down…

It's my life.’
 Into You
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestions: "Into You" -- Ariana Grande, "Pour Some Sugar On
Me" -- Def Leppard, "I Kissed a Girl" -- Katy Perry

‘I’m so into you, I can barely breathe.

And all I wanna do, is to fall in deep,
But close ain't close enough, till we cross the line…
So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice.
Hey.

Oh, Baby, look what you started.

The temperature's rising in here.
Is this gonna happen?
Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move,
Before I make a move…’

Chapter Fifteen:

I lounged on my bed, as the girls leafed through my closet. I knew when to pick my battles,
and this wasn't one of them that I could win, so I was respectfully bowing out. I was going to
wear some old, trusty favorites, but that was quickly vetoed, when the ladies voted me off of
the outfit-planning island.

“It's not just gonna be me dressing up tonight, right? Well, I guess, tonight and tomorrow?” I
asked, frowning, when I realized I might be the only one decked out. Jo snorted and Meg
shook her head.

“No way, Cupcake. You think I want you being the only hot one tonight? No way. We're
gonna have the boys weak at the knees.” Meg assured me. I hummed in agreement, as I
wiggled on my bed to the beat of some song that Charlie had turned on.
“Thank God,” I sighed. Jo tossed clothes at me and hit me in the face, before I could duck.
“Abusive,” I grumbled, sitting up. “This it?” I questioned. She nodded the affirmative and I
got off the bed and stripped out of my clothes.

“Shit, Dude! You're still covered in bruises.” Charlie exclaimed, touching the scabbed over
slashes on my back. I just shrugged. What can ya do? Damage is already done. “You still
have a bangin' bod, though. Cas is a lucky man.” She mused, as I bent over to pull on pair of
black lace underthings.

“Thanks, My Liege,” I laughed.

I looked for a bra, but didn't see one in the pile of clothes that Jo assaulted me with. I shook
out the bundle in my hands and a dress took shape. It was a deep, dark green. The neckline
was high, but it was completely backless. It was skintight and I couldn't wear a bra with it. A
few thin straps kept it in place in the back. It had tight sleeves that ended at my elbows. It
was short, very short. Sensing my hesitation Anna tossed me a short pair of black yoga shorts
to pull on under it.

I slipped on the dress and wiggled into the yoga shorts. I already had my gloves on and left
the jewelry I always wore – the pendant necklace from Sammy, the bee earrings from Cas,
and the bracelet and ring from Rowena. I pulled on a pair of black flat-soled thigh-high boots
that Rowena surprised me with, in the morning, making an executive shoe decision. If my
legs are gonna be on display, then I was going to cover what I could.

Meg pushed me back onto the bed, next to the makeup she picked for me to wear. She
straddled my lap, as she started working on my eyeshadow. I chuckled.

“You could just tell me that you want to sit in my lap. I would have let you.” I teased her. She
snickered and ground herself down against my lap once, making a point.

“Of course you would have, you'd be silly not to, Cupcake.” She agreed. I laughed, louder, at
that. “Clarence is gonna pass out, when he sees you. Well, that, or maybe just sink to his
knees, and worship you, like you deserve.” She breathed.

My breath hitched and I opened my eyes to look at her. The look she was giving me
smoldered, mischief evident on her face.

“I wouldn't be opposed.” I whispered.

Her smirk grew. She rubbed her nose against mine, a gesture more intimate than I would ever
expect from Meg. I touched my forehead to hers and inhaled, collecting myself for a moment.
She gave me a quick peck on the lips, before going back to her craft.

I kept my eyes closed, while I listened to the other girls get ready. Warm and affection
bubbled in my chest. It warmed my entire body. God, I love this, having actual girl friends.
How'd I even get so lucky?

The rest of our festivities were a flurry of giggles and music. Meg let me give her teal smoky
eye. I've been getting better, with practice, since I've had to wear makeup so often, with work
now. I gave Jo little braids throughout her hair, leaving the rest down. I even talked Charlie
into wearing the dark purple lipstick that had quickly become a favorite of mine. Cas and
Benny would be here soon to meet us. Gabe had another cook working, so he was joining us,
too.

Everyone, even Charlie, was donned in some sort of tight short dress or skirt. We looked hot.
I pulled on a light jean jacket, as someone knocked on my door.

“Who let the riffraff in here?” Anna teased, as she opened the door and Cas, Gabe, and Benny
piled into my small apartment. I glanced over at Benny, first, and ran over to give him a hug.
He gave me a tight squeeze, lifting me off of my feet. I gave Gabe a quick hug, before kissing
Cas hello.

Cas pulled back, almost immediately, so he could have a look at me. His eyes twinkled in
appreciation. His eyes zeroed in on my mouth and the dark purple I had painted on my lips.
My tongue flicked over my bottom lip, nervously.

“You look so beautiful, Dean.” He praised.

I blushed and pressed another kiss to his mouth. He made no move to stop me. I stood up on
my tiptoes and threaded my hands into the front of his shirt. He wore a snug blue henley that
made his arms and eyes stand out, even more.

“Thanks, Angel. You look very handsome.” I told him, as I ended the kiss, before it got too
inappropriate, since we had an audience. I eyed the bag in his hand and grinned. “Are you
gonna stay?” I asked him. He nodded.

“Clarence and I thought we'd both stay over, if that was okay with you.” Meg admitted,
coyly. My grin widened and just nodded.

“I see how it is, Deano. You get your paws on my baby bro, and all of a sudden the rest of us
are just chopped liver.” Gabe groaned, dramatically. I just laughed.

“You look dapper, Gabe. I hardly recognized ya, Sweetheart.” I told him, prettily. He preened
at that, before his face twisted in suspicion.

“Wait, does that mean that I don't normally look dapper? I'll have you know that I'm a good
looking man.” He argued, puffing out his chest, a bit. I snickered, but tried to school face to
be serious.

“You're always handsome, Gabe, you just took it to a whole ‘nother level tonight.” I corrected
myself. He nodded, seemingly accepting my compliments. I sent Cas a knowing glance and
he made a face at me, as he tried not to laugh. “And you look damn good, Benny.” I spoke
up, before he could say anything.

“Oh, Mon Cœur, you flatter me.” Benny said with a wink.

“Well, let's go, party people! Time's a-wastin'! I expect each of you to help me talk to all the
pretty ladies tonight! Let's go, Bitches!” Charlie led us out of my humble abode.
“Wait, what about Anna? Have you already talked to her, because she's so pretty and also
likes girls…” l suggested. Charlie stopped walking and gaped at me and then Anna, and then
back to me.

“I… Why did I never put that together?!” Charlie bemoaned.

I giggled and peeked a glance at Anna to see her reaction. She was blushing more than I had
ever seen her. Charlie looked so flummoxed, she almost didn't know what to do with the
information. Almost.

“I mean, is that something that you ever might be into, Anna? Because, it's like, totally okay,
if it isn't.” She said, hurriedly, as she walked over to our more reserved friend. Anna nodded.

“I've only been crushing on you, for forever.” Anna admitted, still bright red.

“Be my date tonight?” Charlie asked her and Anna took her hand with a smile.

“Pour some sugar on me!” Gabriel crooned into the microphone on stage.

I giggled, happily, as I got some of it on video. I danced along, enjoying myself. Cas' hands
were warm on my hips. I had already shed my jacket and was enjoying dancing on my man.
Jo might have swiped some contraband booze to ply us with, not that she really needed to.
Ash was making me drinks, since I wasn't the designated driver tonight.

“C'mon, fire me up!” Gabe wailed, theatrically.

Meg snagged the phone out of my hand and took it in hers. She turned off the screen, and
settled her hands over Cas' on my waist. I gulped, as she plastered herself to the front of me.
Her face was so close to mine.

I reached out and brushed bit of hair out of her face. I tucked it behind her ear, before tracing
her jaw with my nose. Cas' fingers dug into my hips, lightly. I glanced up at him and held his
gaze, as he nodded, before my attention flickered back to Meg. I cupped the side of her face
and slotted my lips against hers.

I knew that we were toeing a thin line. I didn't want to give anyone a show, but I also found it
impossible to pull myself away from her. She bit down on my lip and licked her way inside.
Our kiss was quickly becoming filthy, and my body felt flush with warmth and want.

Cas made a broken sounding moan behind me and jarred me enough, end the kiss and
distance myself, to catch my breath. Meg's eyes were dark and heated. Everything about her
body language screamed arousal.

“Next we have Meg and Dean singing a Katy Perry jam that I'm pretty sure everyone
appreciates – ‘I Kissed a Girl!’” Gabe announced, after his song ended. I looked at Meg in
surprise, but she just shook her head, like she didn't know about it, either. I sighed. It's not
like we've been subtle, but I didn't expect him to call us out on it, like that, either.

“I'll record it.” Cas promised, with a smirk. Meg handed him my phone, before I poked his
chest.

“You did this!” I cried. He just nodded, while he laughed at our expressions. “Oh, just wait.
We will get you back.” I promised.

“I look forward to it.” He smirked, before bending to kiss me good luck. I rolled my eyes and
let Meg lead me to the stage. She took the microphones from Gabriel and handed me one.
Gabe looked positively gleeful. The music started and I huffed, glad I had a bit of liquid
courage to help loosen me up.

“This was never the way I planned, not my intention. I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my
discretion. It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on. I'm curious for you, caught my
attention.” I sang first, surprised with how sultry my voice sounded.

I danced along, as I sang. I raised my hand above my head and twisted my hips down, getting
lower to the ground, before twisting back up.

“I kissed a girl, and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. I kissed a girl, just to try it,
hope my boyfriend don't mind it. It felt so wrong. It felt so right, don't mean I'm in love
tonight. I kissed a girl, and I liked it. I liked it.” Meg sang the chorus with me, and we
gravitated closer together.

We teased a kiss, letting our faces get closer together, but then backed away. The audience
was cheering, loudly.

“No, I don't even know your name. It doesn't matter. You're my experimental game, just
human nature. It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave. My head gets so
confused, hard to obey.” Meg sang.

I watched her, unable to take my eyes off of her. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be
to get into this. We kept dancing on and singing with each other. We were having fun.

“Us girls, we are so magical – soft skin, red lips, so kissable. Hard to resist, so touchable –
too good to deny it. Ain't no big deal, it's innocent.” I sang, before we belted out the chorus
one last time together.

Once the microphones were away from our mouths, Meg laid one on me, and what a kiss it
was. I heard some whistles, as we walked off the stage. I turned to face her, grinning.

“This won't be poking fun, but what about that Blake Shelton song, ‘Honey Bee,’ for Cas?” I
asked her. Her face lit up.

“I'll go tell Ellen.” She announced, skipping away to put her request in.
To say that we had a good time, was a colossal understatement. Cas had the cutest reaction,
when he found out the song we had chosen for him. His eyes got so soft, that it made my
heart ache. The entire performance was adorable and I shamelessly recorded and saved all of
it.

Gabe made Benny sing ‘I'm Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred with him. He even stripped out of
his shirt and used it as a makeshift lasso, while he sang. Benny, God love him, was such a
trooper. I don't really think that there is anything Benny can do, that doesn't seem effortlessly
cool.

Charlie surprised all of us, when she dragged Anna on stage and gave us a seductive
rendition of ‘Boyfriend’ by Dove Cameron. The innuendos weren't lost on us. She and Anna
looked awfully hot and cozy up on stage, singing and dancing together. I don't think they left
each other's sides, at all, tonight.

But the song that took the cake was easily Ash – and Gabe – with ‘Baby Got Back’ by Sir
Mix-A-Lot. Did you know that Gabe could twerk? I mean, he can't, not really, but he did try.
Repeatedly. He also felt up Ash on stage, and got up close and personal with his mullet. It's
not something that I can ever unsee.

Jo's performance was just straight-up impressive. She dragged her mom on stage with her.
She and Ellen since and danced to ‘Love is a Battlefield’ by Pat Benatar. It was a crowd
pleaser, everyone loves that song, and if they say otherwise, they're lying.

But the biggest song might be the one that Bobby did onstage – also with Ash – ‘Save a
Horse (Ride a Cowboy)’ by Big & Rich. I'm not sure I've ever heard so many catcalls in my
life. Gabe ran on stage and started booty-dancing behind them, like a rhythm impaired
backup dancer that no one ever asked for. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

“I had so much fun tonight. I'm glad you both dragged me out. Can you imagine what
karaoke would be like at Inferno? Ro told me to mention it to Crowley, so he didn't think the
idea came from her. God, what a fucking blast.” I giggled, as I fell onto my bed.

Cas dropped to his knees and unzipped my boots for me, and slid them off of my legs. He
tugged off my socks and looked up at me, with a hungry expression. My mouth fell open and
Meg helped me sit up, so she could peel my dress off of me and yank it over my head. It fell
somewhere on the floor. She pressed herself against my back and brought her hands to my
chest.

I mewed at her touch. Cas made sure that I was watching him, before he moved. His fingers
ghosted up my thighs, so he could spread my legs further. He crept up and gave me a lazy
lick, against the lace of my underwear. I moaned and felt heat rush to my stomach. I couldn't
look away from him. He repeated it again and again and again.

He pinned my hips to the bed, so I couldn't wiggle away. His fingers crept under the lace and
he waited, until I nodded, to pull the panties off of me and onto the floor. He kissed my clit
and lapped at it. I cried out, as Meg started sucking and biting down on my neck. I shivered
and couldn't focus on anything, other than what they were making me feel.

I was getting close and I knew I wouldn't last, not when both of them felt this good. My body
felt like it was on fire. Cas' lips latched onto my nub and he sucked. My hand flew to his hair,
as I ground myself against him. I came with a wail, as my back arched.

He didn't let up or stop to let me ride it out. Instead, he pushed me back, further into Meg. He
moved his thumb to my bundle of nerves and he made slow circles, as he slid his tongue
inside of me. He licked into me and moaned. I've never felt this before. It's so fucking good.
It wasn't long, until I came on his tongue, again.

He moved his tongue back to my nub and pushed two fingers inside of me. He curled them
and hit a spot that made my toes curl. I'm already so close. He redoubled his efforts and
sucked on my clit, hard. I screamed, as I finished.

I lost track of time, after that. I felt hazy and warm and outside of myself. I helped him pull
off Meg's clothes and I kissed down her body. I wanted to try what he did. I looked up at her,
as I lapped in between her legs. Cas got behind her and pinched her nipples and nipped at her
neck, knowing what she liked. She fisted my hair and climaxed on my tongue. I slowed down
and sucked on her through it.

Once she caught her breath, we made eye contact and she gestured to Cas and I nodded. We
tugged off his clothes and worked him over together. We felt and kissed all over his body,
before we touched his cock and licked him together.

I've never heard him curse like that before. It was exhilarating. He wasn't shy about being
vocal about what he liked. He sang us praises and kept his eyes on mine, the whole time. He
jerked and exploded on us, harder than I knew he could.

The three of us clambered into the shower for a quick wash, before collapsing in bed. We
pulled the blankets over us and snuggled together, totally sated.

‘So, Baby, come light me up,

And Baby, I'll let you on it.
A little bit dangerous, but, Baby, that's how I want it.
A little less conversation and a little more touch my body,
‘Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you.
Got everyone watchin' us.
 So, Baby, let's keep it secret,
A little bit scandalous, but, Baby, don't let them see it.
A little less conversation and a little more touch my body,
‘Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you...

Tell me what you came here for,

‘Cause I can't, I can't wait no more.
I'm on the edge with no control,
And I need, I need you to know…’
 Here's To Us
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestions: "Here's to Us" -- Halestorm, "Players" -- Coi Leray,
"American Horror Show" -- SNOW WIFE

‘We could just go home, right now,

Or maybe we could stick around, for just one more drink.
Oh yeah…
Get another bottle out.
Let's shoot the shit.
Sit back down, for just one more drink.
Oh yeah…

Here's to us.
Here's to love.
All the times that we fucked up,
Here's to you.
Fill the glass,
‘Cause the last few days have kicked my ass.
So, let's give ‘em hell.
Wish everybody well.
Here's to us.
Here's to us.’

Chapter Sixteen:

I woke up far later, than I intended, and it's left me feeling rushed all day. I forgot to set an
alarm, before I passed out with Meg and Cas. The sleep was definitely needed, but I hated
feeling like I've been running behind. Cas got up early, before Meg and I did. He was a good
egg and didn't want to skip school. The same can't be said for Meg.
I did let Meg dress me, but let's be honest, when have I ever denied her? She never steers me
wrong, so why would I stop her, when it gives me one less thing to worry about?

I was in a goth school girl get up today. I had on a short, black and blue pleated skirt, paired
with a long sleeved oxford shirt. I only had a few buttons closed. You can clearly see the dark
blue lace of my pushup bra peeking through. Meg tied the bottom, exposing my midriff. I had
on white thigh-high stocks, held up by a garter belt, complete with my black Mary Jane's. My
hair was pulled back in loose braided pleats, leading to low pigtails. Meg produced blue
bows, from god knows where, to finish the look off.

Instead of the crimson shade that Meg seems to prefer on me, she painted my lips with my
midnight blue lip-stain. I had on dark, heavy winged eyeliner, with white eyeliner on my
bottom waterline. After mascara, it made my eyes look so much bigger. I had on bright pink
blush and striking highlight. I let her roll ample body glitter on me, before I pulled on my
gloves.

Meg decided to tag along with me to the club, instead of going to school. She donned a little
black dress with dark smoky eyes. I had trouble keeping my eyes off of her. She looks so
good, and she knows it, too. She looks wicked in the best possible way.

“Meg, Dearie, how are you? I’ll never say no to two pretty girls, for the price of one.”
Rowena greeted us, as we waltzed into Inferno. Meg smirked, but gave Ro a hug, all the
same.

“Don't tell my uncle, but you're my favorite.” Meg told her, softly. I giggled, and hugged
Rowena, once her arms were free.

“Now, Darling, of course I am. It's that unspoken truth that many share the sentiment on.”
Rowena teased her, as she gave me a squeeze and kissed me hello. I beamed at her and
touched my forehead to hers.

“I missed you, Ro.” I breathed, looking up at her.

“And I, you, Sweet Girl,” Rowena promised, giving me another chaste kiss.

“And what of me, Darling?” Crowley asked, walking over to us. I let go of Rowena and
wrapped my arms around him, giving him an extra tight squeeze.

“Of course, I missed you, too, Crowley.” I told him, honestly. He gave me a fond smile, with
a softness that rarely comes out.

“Fishing for compliments, Fergus?” Rowena tutted, teasing him. “I raised you better than
that.”

“Sister, you really didn't.” He said dryly, with a chuckle. Rowena just shrugged.
“So, how is tonight gonna go?” Meg asked, curiosity getting the best of her. I looked at both
of the siblings, curious, too.

“I will have the pair of you help us kick things off. You'll be announcing the rules and the
expectations. We will go over both with you. You and your friends will be off-limits. If
anyone, and I mean anyone, gives you any problems, they will be dealt with accordingly. You
are free to break fingers or whatever you feel is the appropriate penalty. Our patrons should
know better, but the stupidity of men never ceases to amaze me.” Rowena explained, with a
wry grin. Meg and I chuckled, at that. “You are free to show affection with your beau, so long
as he is comfortable with you also showing affection to me tonight.” Ro added.

“Um, Meg and I… well, we sometimes, show affection.” I admitted, grimacing at my choice
of words. Meg just laughed. Rowena quirked an eyebrow at that, looking intrigued.

“That sounds delicious, Dear Girl.” Rowena purred. I blushed and Meg just smirked. “How
did last night go? Did you have fun?” She changed the subject.

“Oh! It was a blast. I got some videos, if you wanna see. I couldn't get anyone to sing Bon
Jovi with me. They don't appreciate him, as much as I do.” I sighed, whipping out my phone
to show them the videos.

“I would have sang it with you, Darling.” Crowley promised, a little smirk playing on his
lips. I gasped, pretending to be surprised.

“You would be the perfect karaoke partner. It sucks that we never do karaoke nights here. It
would be so fun! We could even offer prizes, so we could get people to actually try to sound
halfway decent.” I sighed, really trying to play it up. I glanced at Crowley, and he looked
thoughtful.

“We should try it out. We can see how the patrons like it.” Crowley said, thoughtfully.

“Really? That would be so great!” I exclaimed, bouncing over to wrap him in a hug. He
laughed, but hugged me back, all the same. Meg and I showed him last night's performances
and we all got plenty of laughs out of it.

Meg and I were on stage with Crowley and Rowena. Alastair wasn't coming in today, but I
was pretty sure that Lilith would be making an appearance, at some point. She's not one to
turn down an opportunity to have a good time.

“Good evening, my young patrons. If you haven't attended one of our Under Twenty-One
nights here, at Inferno, before, then allow me to explain the rules to you. If you have an
Under Twenty-One stamp on your hands, I better not see you trying to sneak drinks. That will
result in a permanent ban for you.
“You will treat staff and all others with respect. Failure to do so will result in broken fingers.
The four of us on stage, our word is law. Failure to comply will result in severe
consequences. My lovely employee will explain the rest to you.” Crowley announced, before
handing me the microphone. I sauntered up closer to the edge of the stage, so I could be seen
more easily.

“If someone says no, they mean no. We respect body autonomy here. If I catch you grabbing
someone without his, her, or their consent, I will be breaking more than just a finger.” I told
them all, letting a little growl come out at the end.

“We keep things classy here. If there is something you're unsure about or if you have
questions, then please ask. Stupid questions are allowed, too, but they will probably be met
with stupid answers. Don't crowd the DJ. Tips are welcomed and you can request songs, but
if you get obnoxious and he asks you to get lost, then I suggest you listen. Everyone here is to
be at least eighteen years of age. There is no sex, of any kind, permitted on club grounds.” I
explained the rest of the rules, and handed the microphone to Meg.

“I don't know about you, but I'm ready to dance and have fun. You've seen how hot my date
looks tonight. If I have to spend tonight parenting you, instead of dancing with her, I'm
busting heads. And that's not a threat, Baby, that's a promise.” Meg drawled. She blew a kiss
to the audience, before setting the microphone down and taking my hand, so we could join
everyone else.

It wasn't hard to spot our friends. I beamed, when I saw them. I kissed Cas, before I did
anything else. He bit down on my lip and licked his way into my mouth, deepening the kiss,
immediately. I let him, content. He pulled away, after a minute. I hugged him, before hugging
everyone else.

“Tonight is gonna be bangin'.” Jo exclaimed, excitedly. I grinned and agreed. We made our
way closer to the DJ booth and enjoyed the sudden thrum of music.

‘What you know about livin' on the top?

Penthouse suites, lookin' down on the opps.
Took him for a test drive, left him on the lot.’

My front was plastered against Cas, as I danced against him. One of his hands settled on my
waist, and the other slid down my backside and dipped under the bottom of my skirt, moving
back up, to grab my ass. Our friends surrounded us, keeping us in our own little bubble,
dancing together.

‘Hold on, lil' titties showin' through the white tee.

You can see the thong bustin' out my tight jeans.
Rocks on my fingers like a n**** wifed me.
Got another shorty? She ain't nothin' like me.’

Jo grabbed my hand and stole me from Cas' embrace. I laced my fingers with hers and we
danced together. Her face lit up, as she smiled. God, it feels nice to just be a teenager with our
friends.
‘Uh, came a long way from rag to riches.
Five-star bitch, yeah, I taste so delicious.
Let him lick the plate, yeah, I make him do the dishes.’

Anna and Cas were dancing together, laughing, and having a great time. I spun and ended up
dancing with Charlie. Meg and Jo both flocked beside us and we all danced together.

It was so easy to get lost in the music and lost in each other. For tonight, nothing else really
mattered. All we had to do was feel. The vibrations from the music was heavy and the songs
were blissfully deafening. The lights were low and almost non-existent. The thrum of moving
bodies helped us all feel less alone.

We'd all been drinking. Crowley and Rowena had given us the okay. Cas was excited to see
Jimmy was bartending. He had given us a few rounds of lemon drops, so we weren't just
taking straight shots of vodka.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some guy grab Anna. I gritted my teeth and made my way
over to her. She shoved him away, but he was persistent. I stepped in front of her, just to have
the mystery man paw my chest.

I grabbed him by the ear and yanked him through the dancefloor. I saw Crowley watching us,
as we got through the last of the moving bodies. I nodded, letting him know that I could
handle it. Mr. Abercrombie, or whatever the fuck this frat boy's name was, just sneered at me,
yanking his face free from my grip.

“Calm the fuck down, Man. What are you on your period or something? You need to get laid,
Jesus. And if you need a volunteer, I'd gladly help you out.” He offered, trying to schmooze
me. I rolled my eyes.

“Are you stupid? Like actually stupid? Were you concussed, before you got here tonight?
What part of the rules were unclear to you?! Keep your nasty ass hands to your ugly fucking
self!” I snapped. “You don't grab women, when they don't want you to. God! You're such a
freaking caveman.” I grimaced in disgust.

“I'll show you nasty.” He muttered, slinking up closer to me. I grabbed his hand and yanked
one of his fingers backwards, hard. I felt it break and I broke another one. He pushed me
away and bemoaned his hand.

“Leave, or I’ll keep breaking more.” I ordered. He clenched his jaw, and stalked over to me.

“I'd like to see you try.” He growled.

I shrugged and kneed him in the crotch, catching him off guard. He fell to his knees and
cradled his junk as I broke two more fingers. I signaled security over and they dragged him
out. Crowley looked especially pleased. He sauntered over to me and gave me an appraising
smirk.

“You went easy on him, how magnanimous of you.” Crowley mused with a chuckle.

I shrugged and offered him a sheepish smile. He gestured to the bar and I followed him over.
I saw Lilith chatting animatedly with Jimmy. I grinned, when she bounced up and hugged
me. I gave her a good squeeze.

“I love watching you hurt men, Dean. You know idea.” She purred. I giggled, before I could
stop myself. She didn't seem fazed. My friends were walking over to us and Jimmy got a
round of shots and drinks ready for us.

“God, you're such a badass, Cupcake.” Meg praised, as she sauntered over to us.

She pressed a small kiss to my mouth, before dropping down onto the barstool next to Lilith.
I smirked at her, my face pink from the praise. I glanced over and saw Cas bee-lining for me.
He looks so good tonight.

“I agree, Dean.” He whispered, before claiming my lips in a kiss. It was soft and slow and
carefree. I relished in it – relished in him.

“As much as I love you, I'm cool not seeing my baby brother locking lips in front of me.”
Jimmy teased. Cas pulled away to flip him off playfully.

“Then close your eyes,” Cas rasped. I snickered and sipped my drink.

“Don't spoil Dean's fun, Jimmy.” Lilith chastised, giggling.

“You're a godsend.” Anna told me, as she hugged me. I just shrugged.

“I'm happy to do it.” I promised her.

“Time for shots, Bitches!” Charlie announced.

“What should we cheers to?” I asked her, biting my lip.

“Duh, putting assholes in their place! And being hot with our friends, obviously.” Jo said,
nonplussed. I chuckled, but raised my shot glass, all the same. We – including Lilith and
Crowley – all clinked our glasses together and threw them back.

“Oh, dear me, am I too late to join the fun?” Rowena asked, as she put an arm around me.

“Never, Sweetheart. You know that.” I promised her. She let her gaze travel over my body
appreciatively.

“You look good enough to eat tonight, Dear Girl.” Ro mused. I blushed and bit my lip.

Her eyes zeroed in on the movement and she let her hand trail down my arm. She leaned in
and tugged me into a slow, salacious kiss. She licked her way into my mouth and the sounds I
made into her mouth were obscene. She bit down on my lip and I shuddered against her. She
pulled away, looking wrecked. She licked my bottom lip and kissed me once more, before
moving away from me.

“Gotdamn,” Cas breathed, sounding pained, next to us. I gave a nervous giggle.

“Holy fuck,” Meg said with a shiver. “I get you first tonight. Clarence can wait his damn
turn.” She told me. I just nodded. Cas' eyes were dark and hungry, but he didn't object. Then
again, he never does, when it's Meg.

“Dear Girl, I believe you owe me a dance. Why don't you and Meg indulge me, while your
beau gets his arousal under control?” Rowena suggested, mischievously.

Meg and I both took one of her hands, as she led us to the dancefloor. The rest of the girls
trailed behind us, including Lilith. The boys stayed at the bar, chatting with Jimmy.

Rowena was against my front and Meg against my back. Rowena wasted no time in pressing
our lips together. Her hands gripping me tightly on my waist. Meg's resting higher, than hers.
I didn't have to look to see the other girls dancing next to us.

‘What I gotta do to find a sub who down to choke me?

Tie me up and hold me down and get a little dirty.
Haven't tasted bougie spit, since homie hit on Thursday.’

Our tongues pressed against each other, as Meg sucked on my neck. My hands were
wandering, feeling Rowena up. She made no move to stop me. I knew that people could see
us, but I couldn't bring myself to care much. It's not much different, than any other night at
the club.

‘Got you in a chokehold, till you're turning blue.

Down to blow a bag and my back out, too.
Like an older man, ‘cause he know just what to do.’

Rowena stepped back and Meg tugged me and turned me around. Rowena's hand disappeared
under my skirt, and the other slid up my torso, cupping my chest. Meg's lips affixed to mine
and I moaned against her. Her hands moved, and so did Ro's. I couldn't keep track of who
was doing what.

‘I kiss freaks, that treat me like an animal.

Fuck on me, and eat me, like a cannibal.
I’m Miss Fish, that Rocky Horror Picture hoe.
They call me an American Horror Show.’

We all stayed pressed against each other, until I pulled away from both of them. If it
continues, I really am going to self-combust. I pulled Jo to me, and we began a much tamer
dance. Both Ro and Meg smirked, but opted for a dance with Charlie and Anna. I saw Cas
moving back over to us, out of the corner of my eye. He looked just as turned on, as he had
before.
“Dean!” I heard my dad yell, as he approached us, at the bar.

Lilith was on her feet, before I could blink. His face was red and contorted with anger. I felt
the air around us charge with tension. I sensed Alastair somewhere in the club.

“You stupid, little slut. You think that you can talk to me that way and there won't be
consequences?!” Dad demanded. His words were clear and he didn't smell like booze. Well,
that's a first. I shivered, but schooled my body language, otherwise.

I stood up and grossed my arms in front my chest. I stared him down and he looked like he
was momentarily rethinking his decision to come here, but that was fleeting. He stepped
closer and got in my face. Lilith tensed, and twirled her hair around her finger, fixing him
with a glare. Either he knows who she is and doesn't care, or he's never met her before. Big
mistake on his part, I'm sure.

Rowena was watching from a distance. Crowley was, too. I didn't have to say anything to
know that Lilith would step in, if she needed to.

“Yeah, actually, I do. I'm the only adult in the family. Why wouldn't I act like it?” I asked
him, keeping my voice steady and even.

Dad hissed, and he grabbed some poor sap's drink off of the bar and slammed it back. He
didn't even blink, before stealing one more.

“You will respect me. I'm your father.” He tried to order me. I just laughed.

“You've never given me any reason to respect you, John.” I told him. He raised his hand and I
raised mine to gesture for Lilith to wait to do anything.

Dad backhanded me and I spit out blood from my split lip. I laughed, and grabbed his hand to
pull him closer to me. He didn't react. I slammed my head forward and head-butted him. He
staggered on his feet and I thrust my palm up and broke his nose.

“Stupid, fucking cunt,” he grit out, as blood flowed into his mouth. I nodded and gave Lilith
the okay to react however she wanted to.

“What is it with men and playing with things that aren't theirs? I know for a fact that Alastair
made it clear that you were to stay away from Dean and you were not to harm her. He might
be feeling generous, but I'm not.

"For a supposed hunter, you really are fucking stupid, John Winchester. Alastair is powerful,
sure, I don't think we've had the pleasure of being introduced yet. I'm Lilith, the first demon. I
think you and I should get to know each other better. Come, John, we're going to play.” Lilith
sang, leading him away.
Alastair flanked behind her, and they both disappeared into the room that used to house
Rowena's hellhounds.

I giggled, as we all climbed in the car to be dropped off at our respective homes. We had a
blast. We only had a few others get rowdy, after my Dad showed his face. I have a busted lip,
sure, but it was worth it to break his nose. I can't wait to hear about Lilith's idea of showing
him a good time. Sometimes, life is just that good. And if I've learned anything, it's that you
have to stop and celebrate the small victories.

‘Stuck it out this far together.

Put our dreams through the shredder.
Let's toast, ‘cause things got better,
And everything could change like that.
And all these years go by so fast,
But nothing lasts forever.

Here's to us.
Here's to love,
All the times that we messed up.
Here's to you.
Fill the glass, ‘cause the last few nights have kicked my ass.
If they give you hell, tell ‘em to go fuck themselves.
Here's to us.
Here's to us.

Here's to all that we kissed, and all that we missed –

To the biggest mistakes that we just wouldn't trade,
To us breaking up, without us breaking down,
To whatever's coming our way.’
 Brand New Numb
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Brand New Numb" -- Motionless in White

‘I've got a shotgun tongue, and tick like a time bomb, all black everything.
I've got a switchblade wit, that cuts like a bitch, and I think you two should meet.

I wanna break free from my humanity.

I wanna release the animal in me.
Break free your curiosity.
You're gonna give me what I need…

I got a brand new, brand new numb.’

Chapter Seventeen:

Loud banging filled my ears and I winced, as I opened my eyes. Cas stirred, next to me, but
Meg was still sound asleep. I fell out of bed and grabbed the gun I had hidden in my bedside
table. I walked over to the front door and signaled for Cas to stay put. I peeked through the
peephole and saw a disheveled Jimmy outside the door. I glanced down and cursed, because I
wasn't wearing anything. I snagged a throw blanket off of the couch and covered myself with
it. I kept the gun in hand and the safety off. I opened the door and kept the gun out of sight.

“Dean, I'm sorry to wake you. Rowena wanted to come, but Alastair wouldn’t let her. Uh,
you’re handy, right? This isn't what this is about, but the air conditioning quit working at the
club, and Ro mentioned that you might be able to fix it, since their regular repair guy is out of
town this week.” Jimmy greeted me. I studied him for a second, before I replied.

“Yeah, I can take a look at it. I can't make any promises, but I can try. What is this about,
then?” I pressed. He looked immediately uncomfortable.

“Things with Crowley and Alastair are coming to a head. Alastair likes to think that he's the
most powerful demon in town, when he's not, not really. He doesn't like being reminded of
that fact. He's using you to prove a point.

“I don't really know the specifics, other than Alastair as regular client he wants you to start
seeing, and Crowley was against it. Crowley tried settling your family's debt and Alastair
wouldn't have it. Crowley isn't taking it well. Rowena hasn't been in yet, but I'm sure she'll be
livid.

“It doesn't help that you have powerful friends. You'll get more details soon. Alastair wants to
talk to you, with Crowley present. I'll take you to Leviathan, then we can go to Inferno. I
know this isn't a lot of notice, but they didn't give me a head's up, either. Just get your handy
stuff and put on something you don't mind getting dirty.” Jimmy explained. I nodded, feeling
sick to my stomach.

“Give me like five minutes and I'll be out. Okay?” I told him.

He nodded and didn't fight me on not inviting him inside. I closed and locked the front door. I
sighed and walked back to the bedroom. I met Cas' stare and I knew he had heard everything.

“I know that we didn't think this would be happening so soon, but I can't tell him no, Cas.” I
sighed. He nodded, looking pained.

“I don't blame you, Dean. I know what's at stake. I don't like it, but I won't make it harder on
you. I love you. This won't change that. You aren't choosing this. You're being forced into it.”
Cas said, as he walked over to me and pulled me into a hug.

I sagged against him, before squeezing him tight. I kissed him, hard, before I had to get
ready. I used the restroom and brushed my teeth in record timing.

I yanked a brush through my hair and put it in a messy bun at the base of my neck. I shoved
on a backwards baseball cap and mismatched undergarments. I pulled on socks and my oldest
pair of jeans. They were loose on legs and had holes in the knees, but stayed up on my waist,
without a belt. I pulled on an old white tank top, and an old flannel shirt. I pulled on my
regular combat boots and grabbed my bag and my toolbox. I put on my tool belt and gloves,
before I pocketed my phone. I gave Cas a kiss on my way out and left.

Jimmy and I got into his car and drove in silence. I fidgeted and felt incredibly uneasy. First,
the showdown with Dad last night, and now this. I can never catch a break, so it really
shouldn't come as a surprise. I’m used to not being able to find my footing.

The ride took entirely too long, and not long enough, all at the same time. I tapped my leg
and hummed Metallica under my breath, nervously. To his credit, Jimmy didn't say anything
or give me a hard time. I doubt I'd be able to hold a conversation, anyway.
I felt terrified, as Jimmy left Alastair's office. My father was seated in front of the fireplace,
on the floor, bruised to hell, and looking madder than I've ever seen him. I saw Rowena and
Crowley standing by the wall and Alastair looking entirely too pleased. Fuck.

“Dean, so glad you could make it. You look positively rugged this morning. Completely bare,
and still quite the beauty, despite the bruises your idiot of a father put on you.” Alastair
tutted. I didn't say anything, not knowing where he was going with this.

“Touch what is mine again, and I'll arrange with Crowley to string you up on the rack and I’ll
break out my torturing ways, again. Crowley may be the reigning King of Hell, but I'm still
the best torturer the Pit has ever seen.” Alastair hissed. I glanced over at Crowley. He's the
King of Hell?!

“Understood.” Dad grumbled. Alastair clapped his hands and two men came to drag Dad
away and out of the office. The door slammed closed, behind them, and my heart fell to my
stomach.

“Dean, I wanted to talk to you in person, and tell you about a new, regular client of yours. He
knows the parameters of what you are and are not allowed to do, and what he is and isn't
allowed to do. He'll join us, momentarily.” Alastair told me.

I nodded, forcing myself to look at him, and not the siblings I've been working for. A knock
sounded, and the door opened. An attractive brunet man walked inside, with Lilith and
Jimmy. He’s tall with broad shoulders and a strong jaw line. There's something unnerving
about him.

“Gadreel, this is Dean, the one you've been inquiring about. I thought you might like to see
me start to break her in, before your date tonight.”

“You're what?” I gasped, before I could stop myself. My hand flew to my mouth and I
clamped my lips shut.

“I'll give you double what she owes.” Crowley told him in a clear, low voice. Alastair just
laughed.

“Are you sure you want to be making enemies of us?” Rowena asked him, sounding more
dangerous than I had ever heard her. Lilith seemed to know better than to say anything.

“You're a vision, Dean.” Gadreel told me. My eyes flitted over to him, before going back to
Alastair.

“You all seem to forget your place. You're not in change here, Crowley.” Alastair growled.
He looked pissed, for the first time, I've seen him.

“Maybe not, but I am more powerful than you are. I allow your little partnership and your
façade, because I can't be bothered to control all of the ins and outs of this city. Don't mistake
that for weakness. I can end you.” Crowley threatened.
“I don't want your money. I want her. I want the control. I've already made more than what
her father owed and I stand to make significantly more. Auctioning off her virginity will
bring in far more than I could have imagined. She will do as she's told and you will listen, or
she will done at Inferno. Let this serve as a lesson to all of you.” Alastair sneered.

He stalked over to me and I gulped. I knew that fighting would just make it worse on me. He
crowded me against the wall and brought his hand to my throat, before lifting me off of my
feet. I clawed at his hands and I struggled.

I tried to relax and couldn't. It took all of my willpower not to kick out at him. His sneer
grew, as he saw me unable to breathe. Things started to go dark. The black splotches dotting
my vision were growing.

My nails broke skin on his arm and blood dripped onto the floor. He grimaced and
backhanded me. The force rocked my body. I slumped, as my head hit the wall. Lilith yanked
him back and threw him into his desk. I went with him.

He finally let me go. I tried to crawl away, but he yanked me by my hair. He grabbed me and
forced my mouth to his. He shoved his tongue into my mouth and I recoiled.

I was seeing doubles. My vision wasn't clear and I felt so dizzy. They were speaking, but it
felt like I was under water. Alastair pulled away enough to grip my neck again, to drag me to
my feet.

He spun me around and forced me over his broken desk. I cried out, as he made quick work
of undoing my jeans and forcing them down. I cried and slammed my eyes closed.

I thought about the day I went to the apiary with Sammy and Cas. My heart felt so fucking
full that day. I wish I was still there. Everything felt right, for the first time in years, that day.

Alastair tore my panties and I felt something wet and cold against my backside. I bit down on
my lip, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of breaking me. I hissed, when he shoved a
finger into my ass.

I was shaking and I even if I wanted to, I knew there was no way that I would be able to get
my trembling under control. He yanked my hair again, just for something cool to slip around
my neck. It tightened and I realized it was his belt.

My fingers flew to the belt, trying to loosen it. I was already woozy. He pushed me back
down, by the small of my back. I choked and tried to get air, as he shoved himself inside of
me. I cried, silently, the belt too tight for me to make any noise. My vision was already
swimming. Things were a blur.

As things started to go dark, again, I waited for the pain to lessen up, but it never did. The
desk was digging into my hips and the belt was cutting my neck. He was hissing degrading
things that my brain couldn't make sense of. I tried to claw at the leather, but kept scraping
my neck instead, unable to get a grip.
My throat burned and I coughed so hard, I threw up. My vision still wasn't back to normal. I
tried to stand up, and realized that I was still bent over his desk. I fell, my legs not wanting to
support my weight.

“I trust that this is a lesson that I won't need to repeat.” Alastair drawled in his droll voice.

Nothing sounded right. I felt so out of it. I tried to push myself to my feet, just to get hit by
another wave of nausea and dizziness. I gripped one of the chairs and pulled myself to my
knees, just to throw up, again, violently. I feel so dizzy. I felt my body sway and my grip so
slack.

I jerked awake, as someone was lifting me off of my feet. I glanced up at Lilith. She was
pouting and was covered in blood. I heard shouting and noticed Alastair's severed right arm.
She carried me out of the room, and I felt myself losing consciousness, again.

Beeping invaded my senses as I pried my eyes open. I grimaced at the bright light
surrounding me. I knew right away that I was in a hospital. I sat up and pulled the nasal
cannula off of my face. I tried to swallow, but my throat felt raw.

“Hello, Dear Girl, you're in the hospital.” Rowena told me. I sat up and yanked the IV out of
my arm, despite the fluids and meds running. “I'm so sorry. I can't tell you what we're
working on, but this won't be forever. Alastair will meet his grizzly end. I promise you that.
We can't be overheard. I need to tell you about Gadreel, before there are ears listening in.”

“He's not a demon.” I rasped. She nodded, confirming what I already knew.

“He's an angel.” She replied.

“Like Lucifer?” I asked. She snorted and nodded.

“He's not fallen, but he's a manipulative, slippery bastard. One of the hellhounds will be at
your beck and call, when you are on a date or at the club. I'll tell you what to say. No one will
be able to see or hear him. It will help protect you. Lilith and Fergus are both stronger than
Alastair, but he's like a cockroach, always finding a way to survive.”
Ro gave me a few days off from work. Instead of going home or going to Bobby's, I went to
Benny's. He has an extra room, and it seemed less overwhelming than my other options. I
couldn't face Cas, yet. How do I look at him and explain why I can't even stand to hugged,
right now?

I was on heavy duty meds and I had been smoking a stupid amount of pot. I tried to sleep
through the pain, but the night terrors were bad. My bruises were awful. My entire body is so
fucking sore.

Benny is opening the diner in the morning, because Garth needed to swap shifts. Cas is
coming for breakfast. Meg and Anna were going to give us our privacy. Benny and Gabe
would be there for moral support. I still had no idea what to say to him. I explained over text,
what had happened. It's still hard to talk a lot, because of the bruises.

Rowena had spoken to him, when she brought me to the hospital. I had a shift tomorrow, and
then a date with Gadreel the following day. I was dreading both. I know I have to face the
music soon, but damn, if I didn't want to.

‘Give me liberty or death.

Charge me more and pay me less.
I said, give me liberty or death.
Ah, fuck it, just give me death.
Let's go!
Yeah, this one's for the underdogs.

I’ve got blood on my hands, no guilt on my conscience.

The war in your path, your mind is the target.
All of my flaws, I wear ‘em with honor,
A purple heartbreak for all we've suffered.’
 Vigilante Shit
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Vigilante Shit" -- Taylor Swift

'Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man.

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them.
Sometimes, I wonder which one'll be your last lie.
They say looks can kill, and I might try.
I don't dress for women.
I don't dress for me.
Lately, I've been dressin' for revenge.

I don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends.

Don't get sad, get even.
So, on the weekends, I don't dress for friends.
Lately, I've been dressin' for revenge.’

Chapter Eighteen:

I was cuddled up on Benny's couch, hugging my knees to my chest, and vaping some strong
indica. I could hear Benny puttering around in the kitchen.

He's been making sure that I get some food into my body, and I'm thankful to him for it. Most
of the food didn't stay down, when I was actually able to get it down. I was trying and doing
my best, but I'm not sure that's saying much.

I found a free sexual assault crisis helpline that I had texted a few times. I couldn't go into
detail, without spending ten minutes dry-heaving into the toilet, not that it was safe to really
go into detail, anyway. I couldn't risk outing my situation. I couldn't risk Sam. I can take it.
I'll die, before someone touches him. I can survive this for his sake.

“Mon Cœur, I made you a smoothie and some toast. Try to get some of it into ya. You've only
been here a couple nights, and you already look thinner.” Benny announced, as he sat down
the dishes in front of me, on the coffee table.

I nodded in thanks and kept vaping, in lieu of talking or trying to eat yet. At least the weed
helped me get some food down.

“You're welcome to stay here as long as you need. Do ya want to try to talk to me about what
happened, as a practice run, for talkin' to Cas, Chére?” Benny offered. I glanced over at him.

He was sitting in a plush armchair next to me. He's been going out of his way to make sure he
doesn't touch me. He told me, when I got here, that if I needed a hug or anything, to just ask.
But he clued in on my not wanting to be touched, without my having to say anything.

“Not really, but I probably should.” I breathed. I let go of my legs and sat up straighter, and
flicked on the lamp next to me. Benny let out a sharp exhale and I didn't have to question
why.

I knew what I looked like. I've been actively avoiding looking at myself or in the mirror. I
can't stand the sight of my reflection, right now. The giant spot on my neck from the belt was
dark purple and black. I had scabbed over scratched from my fingernails trying to pry off the
belt. My jaw was bruised. My cheek was even worse. He broke skin by my eye and on my
lip. I had bruises on my wrists and on my hipbones. I looked like hell.

“I'll just start. Okay? I don't want to get into anymore specifics than the details that I'm telling
you right now, so, please, don't ask.

“Crowley and Rowena were having it out with Alastair. Alastair has a guy – an angel – that
he wants to be a regular client on mine. My only client, really. Crowley was against it. He
offered to pay off my debt, but Alastair refused. He was on a giant power trip. Which, I doubt
is surprising.

“He let it slip that my debt has already been paid off. He's been charging for introductions
with me. And Gadreel paid more than what I owed to become my only client. Crowley
offered double. Alastair declined, again. It turned into a dick measuring contest.

“Alastair told Crowley to stay in his lane, but it turns out that Crowley is actually the King of
Hell, so he has way more juice, than Alastair. Lilith is more powerful than he is, too, since
she's the first demon. Alastair wanted to prove a point. I was his property and he would do as
he pleased and he wanted us to respect him.

“Before he… forced himself on me, he had me pinned on the wall. He held me up, by my
throat. He wouldn't stop. I thought that I was going to die there. I couldn't see anything.
Everything had already gone black. So, Lilith ripped his arm off. He finally let go.

“But… It got worse, because of course it did. When doesn't it? He pinned me to his desk and
used his belt to choke me. He, um, sodomized me. Then I woke up in the hospital, with
Rowena.

“She's working on a plan. I have more protection now. Gadreel isn't supposed to be able to
make me have sex or that with him. Ass-face wants to auction off my virginity. Things are in
motion and I have no idea what that will mean. So. All I can do now, is what I'm told, for
Sammy's sake.” I recapped what had happened to me, and I wiped away my tears.

“Mon Cœur, can I hug you?” Benny asked me in a broken voice.

I nodded and braced myself for the physical contact. He wrapped me in a tight, warm hug,
and I sniffled, again.

“You can cry, Chére. I'm here. You're not alone. We're gonna get ya through this. I promise. I
love you, just the same, Dean.”

He peppered the top of my head with little kisses. I closed my eyes and felt like I could
actually breathe, for the first time in days.

“Deano! Come here, Kiddo. Lemme see you.” Gabe demanded, softly, as I followed Benny
into A Little Slice of Heaven.

I looked up and offered him a ghost of a smile. I walked up to him and pressed myself into
his open arms. He squeezed me and went quiet.

It was so uncharacteristic for him. He just held me. The longer I was in his arms, the harder it
was to ignore my burning nose, or the tears that were threatening to drown me.

After a few minutes, I pulled away and mopped my face with the sleeve of a sweater that I
stole from Benny. Gabe reached out and pressed gentle fingertips along my throat. I flinched,
just barely, but it was enough for him to notice. He dropped his hand and offered me a silent
apology.

“Sit down, Dean Baby. I'll whip you up something delicious. We have some new herbal tea
blends that do wonders for uneasy stomachs. I'll get you some hot peppermint tea. Give me a
few minutes. Cassie will be here soon, Kiddo.” Gabe told me.

I nodded, and sat in the closest booth. Benny didn't say anything, but followed Gabe into the
kitchen.

I heard bells chime, as the diner door opened. I worried my lip, as I heard Cas walk over to
me. I refused to send him any pictures of what happened. I just couldn't. I pulled my knees to
my chest, and leaned my head down on them.

“Dean,” Cas whispered. I looked up at him and my resolve broke. He looked like he was
going to cry. “Honey, can I hold you?” He asked.

I nodded, quickly. I scrambled out of the booth and stood in front of him. He traced the
visible damage with light touches, and I stayed quiet.
“Oh, Dean,” his voice broke. He cradled my face in his hands and forced me to look up at
him. “I love you.” He promised, with eyes swimming with tears that he refused to let fall.

“I love you, so fucking much, Cas.” I whimpered. I slipped my arms around his waist, and he
wrapped his arms around me.

He hummed quietly, and I felt my body starting to relax. We migrated to a big booth in the
corner, so we could cuddle together and stay intertwined. He kissed the top of my head, and
when I did pull back, it was just enough for me to speak, without my words getting muffled.

To his credit, he stayed quiet. I reiterated what I had told Benny. His body language changed.
He grew tense, and I could feel the anger radiating off of him. I knew him well enough to
know that the anger wasn't directed toward me.

“I could kill him.” Cas offered, quietly. I shook my head.

“He's going to die for this. I don't know how, but there are powerful players that hate him and
want him gone. That's gonna work to my benefit. I do have some powerful friends. Ro wasn't
wrong about that.

“I don't think it would take much convincing for Lilith to end him. I know there are politics
that I don't know about, at play, too.

“I think they're wanting to stage a coup and make it unanimous, that way there isn't a war,
after he's gone. I just… I have to do what he tells me, for now. I promise that I hate it, just as
much as you do.” I explained to him. He sighed.

“I don't like it, but that's what we'll do. Whatever you need, I have your back, always. I mean
that.” Cas told me, sincerely. I nodded and snuggled closer into his embrace. I pulled out my
vape and took a shaky breath. “You go back to the club tonight?” He asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah, Ro has someone she wants me to meet. And I have to see Gadreel tomorrow. I don't
know what's in the cards for today, but I'm not doing shit to my appearance. I don't care, if I
roll in looking like a mess, and I don't think Rowena will care much, either.” I admitted. Cas
let out a little laugh, at that.

“Alright, Love Birds! I have tea, water, hot peach cobbler, hot cherry pie, cinnamon
blueberry pancakes, hashbrowns, bacon, and coffee. I'm gonna join ya, because we outdid
ourselves. I already turned on the ‘Closed' sign. Come on, Benny!” Gabe announced, as he
sat down an obscene amount of food. Benny walked up, laughing, with his arms ladened with
food.

Breakfast was nice. It was good for my soul. I'd missed them, something terrible. Cas stayed
wrapped around me, the entire time, and I didn't complain. I felt so safe with him. It was all
light touches and soft, sweet kisses. I needed it far more than I thought that I did.

I pulled on a black lace pair of underthings. My pushup bra was a necessity, even if I didn't
want to wear it. I wiggled into a thick, soft pair of black high-waisted leggings. I put on a
black sheer oxford shirt and layered a tight black leather vest over it. I kept the shirt
unbuttoned, putting my injuries on display. I put on socks and my regular combat boots.

I opted for minimal makeup. I didn't use any concealer or foundation. I gave myself a navy
smoky eye and mascara, a tiny bit of blush, and tinted lip gloss. My hair was pulled up in two
top knots. I slipped on my gloves, grabbed my bag, and then drove over to Inferno.

I got into the club with no issues. The staff all know me by now, including the bouncers. One
of the younger guys escorted me in. He kept looking at my neck. I knew he wanted to say
something and ask, but he knew better. When I found Rowena at the bar, he left us to our own
devices.

“Dean,” Rowena breathed.

Her face fell, when she saw me. She touched my face and pulled me into a hug. I squeezed
her back, and tucked my face into the crook of her neck.

“Let me see you, Love.” She said, pulling away. Her eyes appraised me and surveyed the
damage. Her lips pressed together in a thin line.

“Rowena, you look gorgeous, as always. And who, pray tell, is this ravishing creature?” A
voice sounded from behind me.

I didn't react, other than stepping closer to Rowena. She pressed her lips to mine and rested
her forehead against my own. When we did turn to address the mystery man, we saw a guy
with sandy blond hair that oozed mischief.

“Oh, Luci, it’s good to see you, a delight, as always.” She told him, playfully. I raised my
eyebrows. Luci laughed at my reaction.

“How rude of me. I'm so sorry. I had a deadbeat, absentee father that never taught me or my
siblings manners. I'm Lucifer, and you're Dean Winchester. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
Lucifer purred. I gaped, as I shook the hand that he offered me.

“Like thee Lucifer?” I asked. He chuckled, with a nod.

“I don't really like to mettle in things, unless it benefits me, somehow. You know? Too many
cooks in the kitchen, and all that.

“See, Dean, the thing is, that I hate when people get too big for their britches, and forget their
place. Take dear old Alastair, for example. He's just a swarmy fuck that got lucky.
“He acts like he's the biggest bad around, and frankly, he doesn't even register. It's really
fucking annoying, when there are others that have put in the work and understand the order of
things.

“I've asked about you and I've heard a lot, from a lot of people. You also have a shitty excuse
of a dad. You get it. I'm the OG fallen angel. I invented rebellion.

“Crowley worked and clawed his way into becoming the King of Hell. He understands my
place and respects that and respects me. Lilith is the first demon. She has long since proven
herself. I've Abaddon, my right hand, a knight of Hell, keeping an eye on Alastair, and I've
not been impressed, at all.

“He's cut her out of all business dealings, despite the fact that she can mop the floor with him.
That's going to stop. And I ask that you help me take him down. I just need a little bit longer,
and I'll be ready. Just a month or two, and I'll be ready. I have someone I'll be introducing
you. She's been fascinated, since she laid eyes on you. With her, it will be cake.

“For lack of better words, we want to keep the order of things. We like the order of things,
but we won't stand disrespect. Though, if you need an edge, with Alastair growing
increasingly unstable, there is someone who can help you. His name is Cain.

“Lilith and Rowena can help you find him. You will meet Abaddon soon enough. When she
is stable enough, you will meet Amara. She embodies The Darkness. Your role is crucial
here.

“I don't need you to become anything you’re not. I don't expect you to become one of us. But
right now, we have a common goal. I offer a friendly coexistence. Your brother will stay
unharmed.” Lucifer gave me his spiel.

“The other hunters here will also stay unharmed.” I added. He smirked at me, but nodded, all
the same.

“Deal. I'll be in touch. Just play his game for now. Big things are coming, Kid. Get ready.”

‘Ladies always rise above.

Ladies know what people want.
Someone sweet and kind and fun.
The lady simply had enough.

While he was doin' lines, and crossin' all of mine,

Someone told his white-collar crimes to the FBI.
And I don't dress for villains, or for innocents,
I'm on my vigilante shit, again…
Lately, I've been dressin' for revenge.’
 Dirty Pretty
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Dirty Pretty" -- In This Moment

‘Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of the all?

Tell me I'm the perfect queen.
Mirror, mirror in my hand, who’s the fairest in the land?
Are they lining up for me?

Turn it on.
Tune it in.
Let it go.

Maybe I am not all that I've learned.

Close your eyes.
You twist and you turn.
I know I am more than they say.
I'm everything, everything is me.
I won't be what you want me to be.
Your picture-perfect vanity, I don't want to be your dirty pretty…’

Chapter Nineteen:

I paced the diner, unable to calm my nerves. I feel so cooped up and fucking restless. I didn't
want to stay at the club. I couldn't handle that attention.

After Lucifer bowed out, I dipped, at the soonest opportunity. I ditched the uncomfy clothes
and threw on an old pair of short sweatpants cut-offs. I replaced the pushup bra with a soft
bralette and a loose crop top. I shuffled downstairs in slippers and my hair still piled on top of
my head. I knew I looked like shit, but I didn't care. What else is new?

“Damn, Shorty, someone really did a number on ya, huh? Mouth off to your man and earn
yourself a firm backhand? You look like the fiery type that needs a firm hand to remind you
that submission is all you’re good for.” Some loudmouth, balding biker, was trying to talk to
me.

He was well past his prime and firmly in his forties. He was covered in shitty, tribal ink, and
a massive earring – like that would somehow make him cooler and make it easier to forget
his mid-life crisis. Yeah, I think emphatically the fuck not.

He's tall and built like a tank, though. Okay, I'll give him that. The guys sitting with him
looked similar. Some younger, some older, but they all wore the same leather cut. I doubt that
Lawrence really needs some wannabe Sons of Anarchy guys that were probably ordered from
Wish, on clearance.

“Awe, that's so cute. I bet you kissed your momma with that mouth, didn't ya? Was she
constantly disappointed that she didn't swallow you, and was left with the sad, sad travesty of
a man you are?” I asked him, refusing to back down and refusing to intimidated by a man
that I didn't have to let control me.

“Gotdamn, brother, she really tore into you.” One of his friends guffawed and clapped him on
his back, laughing at his expense.

He stood up, standing much taller than anyone I knew. He was an attractive black man, with
striking dark features. He wore his hair cropped closely to his head and kept his posture
straight. He smiled at me and wiped his hands on his jeans.

“You'll have to let me apologize for that idiot there. I don't think he's ever successfully
spoken to a woman, he wasn't related to. We've been tryin' to teach him that he can't be
spoutin' all that nonsense. It's been slow comin,’ if you can't tell. I'm Robin. That neanderthal
is Rudy.” He introduced himself, offering his hand.

I sized him up and glanced down at my gloved hands. I mulled it over for a quick second,
worrying my lip. Even if he is the worlds biggest moron, I don't want trouble tonight, or to
end up in another fight.

“Nice to meet ya. I'm Dean. We don't serve rude people here. If ole boy can use his manners,
then y'all can stay. If he can't, then you best be to steppin'.” I replied. He nodded and looked
pointedly at Rudy. Rudy gave a curt nod and a mumbled apology that too quiet for me to
hear.

“I'm Tyler. We heard this place had the best pie in town, and we had never been. So, we
thought we'd fix that.” A pretty blond man told me. I nodded with a stiff smirk.

“You're right about the pie, but, honestly, anything that Benny makes is divine. I have it on
good authority that the cobbler and pies are sinful. When I have time, I help out makin' the
pies. Rudy, I swear ta god, if you make some crack about me belonging in the kitchen, I will
make you go back there and wash all of the dishes.” I quipped. The bikers just laughed.

Almost on cue, Benny came out from the kitchen. He took off his apron and came out from
behind the counter. He opened his arms and I all but jumped into them. He hugged me tight
and lifted me off of my feet. I sighed and nuzzled closer to him, feel safe, for the first time,
since I got home from the club.

“Chére, you didn't tell me that you were comin' by tonight. I don't even have to ask. I know
that you haven't eaten yet. I tried a dark chocolate cherry pie that I think you're gonna love. It
was gonna be a surprise, if I liked the recipe. I'll get ya some, but you’re gonna eat some
actual food first. I can't have ya wastin' away on me. You look like you need something
stronger to drink, than coffee. I'll make ya a vodka soda, Mon Cœur.” Benny promised,
before setting me back down on my feet. I beamed up at him and wiped tears away, that I
didn't realize had started to fall.

“Thank you, Sweetheart. You know that I really, really fucking love you, right? You're
literally the best human and the best friend I could ever have. You make me feel safe.” I
whispered, still fighting with the tears cascading down my face. He pulled me back in a hug
and kissed my temple. He gave me a squeeze and then let go.

The blond biker boy gestured for me to join them. They had migrated to the biggest corner
booth. I nodded and figured it wouldn't be the worst place to sit. I ended up in the corner, so I
could lean against the back of the booth, and curl up a little.

“If it wasn't your boyfriend, who hurt you?” Another biker with face tattoos asked me. I
shrugged.

“Someone I can't say no to. I work for him, because my father is a useless waste of space, so
I can keep my little brother safe. And I'd really like to not talk about it, if it's all the same to
y'all.” I sighed.

“Of course, what about shots?” Tyler, the blond, offered. I laughed and nodded.

“If it's vodka, yeah, okay.” I agreed.

Despite my hella nervous energy, I ended up enjoying myself. The bikers were a trip. I
laughed hard and often and found myself making new friends. Benny joined us, since the
diner was dead. We all took shots and even Rudy McRude opened up. He had layers under
his nasty, sexist exterior. Who knew? I sure as hell didn’t.

It was almost time for Garth's shift, when I finally crawled into bed. I was grateful for the
distraction and that I was finally tired enough to actually sleep.
I woke up with a splitting headache. I knew it was because I'm hungover, but it feels worth it.
I took some painkillers and quickly drank two glasses of water. I brushed my teeth and
breezed through my shower. I sighed at I checked my phone. I know that I have to see
Gadreel today, but I have no idea what we're doing, where we're going, or what time it's
happening. God, I fucking hate this. I have two texts.

‘To Dean --
(From Unknown Number):
Good morning, Dean. I realize that you didn't have my number, so, I apologize for the
intrusion. I will be coming to collect you from Inferno at three, this afternoon. I'm having
your attire delivered. You must wear all of it, if you don't wish to be punished. If you wear
anything other than what I've given you, you will be punished. I've spoken to Rowena, and
your gloves and jewelry are acceptable to wear. Please do try to cover the bruises on your
face. Leave the one on your neck. It stirs something inside of me with great pleasure. I will
see you soon, Sweet One.
-Gadreel'

Jesus, he's already overbearing and domineering. How does so much testosterone fit in one
city? Seriously? I just don't get it. I tried not to agonize of possible potential outfits from the
skeevy angel.

‘To Dean:
Hello Dearie. It's early, I know, so I'm sending this, as I'm heading over to you. I'll help get
you ready and I've already spelled the shoes for you. I'll see you soon.
Kisses, Dear Girl.
-Rowena'

As soon as I finished reading her text, a sharp knock sounded on my front door. I sighed and
didn't bother to cover up, beyond the towel that was wrapped around my body. Her
expression looked as tired as mine felt. I ushered her inside and she followed me to the
bedroom.

“This won't be forever, Darling. We just have to get you through tonight.” She tried to
reassure me. I nodded and took an uneasy seat on the bed.

She opened the boxes that she had brought with her. She pulled out a short, tight white dress;
tall, white peep toe pumps; two white hair bows; what looks like a pink sex toy; and white
velvet choker.

“That's it?” I choked out. She looked again, and pulled out a sheer white lace jacket that
looked maybe an inch longer than the dress. “Let's get this over with.”

I stood up and let the towel drop to the ground. I took the dress and wiggled into it. It was
tight, but not sinfully so. The dress stopped an inch under my ass. To say that I was
uncomfortable, was the understatement of the century. I didn't even want to touch the curved-
over toy. I didn't know what to do with it or how to put it in.

“Do you have any lube, Dearie? Sit on the edge of your bed, legs open. I'll help you, this
time.” Rowena offered.
I nodded and gestured to my bedside table. Meg had brought some, one of the times that she
had come over. Rowena put some on her hands and picked up the pink toy. She showed me
which way to insert it and I nodded, so she could do it for me. I held my breath, as she put it
in and got it situated. She pressed a soft kiss on my mouth, before leaving to wash her hands.

We didn't talk after that. She filled the quiet with mindless chatter. I was grateful for it, but I
also didn't add to it. It didn't take long for her to dry my hair or put it in two low pigtails,
fastened by the bows that Gadreel had given me. My makeup was more of the same. It was
similar to what I usually wore. She opted for a bright red lip, winged bedroom eyes, a bit of
blush and a drawn on beauty mark. She fastened the choker for me and gave me the shoes
and jacket to put on. She snapped a few pictures of me on her phone and I took in my
appearance.

I had a sweetheart neckline that showed off ample cleavage. My legs looked like they went
on for miles. My biggest difficulty tonight would be not flashing anyone. I've never gone
without panties before and I already hate it. I feel so naked.

Gadreel eyed me appreciatively. I tried to emulate indifference, but I was sure my façade
would slip soon. He kissed me hello and cradled my hand in his. I trembled, a little, when I
realized how much he towered over me, even with my heels adding to my height. I wouldn't
have a buffer or another person around. It was just going to be the two of us and I was flying
blind. I had no idea what to expect.

“You look even better than I envisioned.” He murmured, against my lips.

I stiffened, and broke the kiss. I wanted to watch his expressions. I needed to learn him. The
quicker I was able to read him, the easier it would be for me to brace myself.

“Are you not happy with my choices?” He asked me. I snorted, not even trying to filter
myself or my reactions.

“I'm not big on pigtails, or having to go commando.” I replied, curtly. He smirked and let his
free hand trail down my back and then over my backside and under my dress. He gripped my
ass and I gave him a withering, haughty glare.

“I think it's perfect, but maybe, if you're good, you can earn some panties.” He breathed,
letting his fingers roam. He touched the toy tucked inside of me and pressed it against my
most sensitive place. “Tonight will be fun. Let's go, Babygirl.”

Gadreel removed his hand and guided me to his car. It was sleek and modern with non-tinted
windows. He opened the door for me and helped me sit down. He buckled my seatbelt for me
and pried my legs open, before closing my door, and getting himself situated in the driver's
seat.
He turned on the car and fiddled with his phone, once his seatbelt was in place. I jumped,
when I felt the toy vibrate to life. My mouth fell open and I cried out, before covering my
mouth with my hand. I shot him a pleading glance, but he just gave me a self-assured smirk.

“There is no one here that you need to hide your pretty sounds from, Baby. I want you to be
my good girl. Can you try and do that for me, tonight?” Gadreel asked me. I nodded and took
a deep breath, before removing my hand from my mouth.

“Good girl,” he purred. He started to drive away from the club. I had no idea where we were
going and I doubt he's going to tell me.

“The happier you keep me, the better things will be for you. You're a smart girl. I'm sure I'm
not telling you anything that you don't already know. There are things that we do together
that will make you uncomfortable. There are things that you will not have done before. I will
keep all of that in mind, when I ask you to do them.

“You can refuse, of course, but it might end in a punishment for you, and I doubt you will
like those any better. I won't lie to you. I have no need to. I will go easy on you this week,
because we still have to get used to each other. However, you will not take advantage of my
leniency. Do you understand, Dean?” Gadreel explained his rules to me. I nodded.

“I understand… Um… What, uh, what would you like me to call you?” I asked, gnawing on
my lip, trying to ignore the vibrations in between my legs. Thankfully, he set it on a very low
thrum.

“Very perceptive, Baby.” He cooed. I tried to ignore the blush on my face or that fact that I
liked getting the praise from him.

“If we are alone, you may call me ‘Gadreel,’ or ‘Daddy.’ If we aren't alone, you may refer to
me as ‘Daddy,’ or ‘G.’ I'd rather not reveal myself to others, unnecessarily. Just because I am
more powerful than most, doesn't mean that I'm invincible.

“Following that thought, unless I've expressly told you, specifically, that someone is allowed
to touch you, when you’re in my presence, others are not to touch you. A hug from a friend
or family member is fine, but anything else, I won't permit, save for Rowena. I know that you
were hers first.

“If someone is harassing you or hurting you, you will tell me, immediately. I will not tolerate
that treatment of you. If we get separated and you need me, picture me in your mind's eye and
say my name. I will hear you and come to your aid.” He divulged. I nodded, dutifully.

“Okay. That all sounds acceptable. I can do that.” I promised. He smiled and reached over to
squeeze my hand, before settling his hand on my thigh.

“Would you like something to drink? I need a coffee.” He asked me, as he pulled into a
Starbuck's drive thru. I nodded.

“Could I just get an iced tea, please? No sugar or flavors or anything. Thanks, uh, Daddy.” I
murmured.
He gave me a pleased look, as his lips curved into an easy smirk. He messed with his phone
for a minute, and the vibrations from the toy increased, and became irregular. I cried out and
panted, digging my fingers into the arm rests. I bit down on my lip, when Gadreel rolled his
window down to order.

“Could I get a trenta brown sugar cold brew, and a trenta iced black tea, please?” He ordered.

I couldn't concentrate on whatever the speaker box said back to him. I was so close to tipping
over the edge, and I didn't want to be overheard. He drove away from the speaker and closer
to the drive thru window. There was only one car ahead of us.

He pried my legs further apart and leered at me. I made myself look at him and lock eyes. He
moved his fingers in between my legs and pressed down on the front of the toy. I felt my coil
tighten and snap as I freefell into my release.

My jaw dropped and I moaned. I barely registered the fact that the noises in my ears were
coming from me. Wave after wave of intense pleasure ripped through me and rippled through
my body. He moved his hand away from me, and placed our drinks next to me, in the car's
drink holders. He did something to increase the vibrations and I wailed.

I could hear voices and my eyes slammed closed. They were squeezed shut, but my body still
felt like it was on fire. I moved a hand to my mouth and I bit down on my fingers. I couldn't
get myself under control. It was so intense.

Finally, the feelings dissipated. I struggled to catch my breath. I became vaguely aware that
we were in front of the open drive thru window and Gadreel had his window down. I
clamped my legs together and turned my body, so I was staring at my window, instead. My
face was burning with embarrassment. I tried to swallow my tears down, but they slipped out,
much to my dismay.

“Fuck, Man, you already paid, otherwise they'd be on the house. Next time you come in, I
gotchu.” I heard someone say.

God, I just want to fucking disappear. Gadreel said something quietly that earned him some
snickers from the employees. Thankfully, he started to drive away. I can't believe he just
made me do that.

“You were perfect, Baby.” He told me. I didn't do anything to acknowledge him or what he
said to me. I wiped away my tears and leaned my head against the cool glass of the window.

“Are you going to be mad at me, all night?” Gadreel asked me. I shrugged, instead of using
my words. I didn't know if I could keep my voice from cracking. I didn't want to give him
that satisfaction.
“That will happen again. I won't always do it in front of others, when I have you wear that,
but it will happen. I will eat you out in a barely secluded spot, before I paint that pretty pussy
of yours with my cum, before the night is over, too.” He warned me. Startled, I looked up at
him.

“You can't have sex with me.” I told him. He nodded and hummed in agreement.

“No sex,” he agreed. “But I can cum on it and that's what I intend to do and you're going to
be a good girl and let me. Aren't you?” He pressed. I gnawed on my bottom lip and became
immediately grateful for my IUD, so I didn't have to worry about pregnancy, especially since
I'm a virgin, still.

“Yes, Gadreel,” I whispered. His face warmed and he seemed pleased with my response.

When Gadreel pulled into a high-end restaurant, that was also a gentlemen's club, I shivered.
I've only been here once, and it was to pick up my drunkard of a father. No surprise there. I
felt out of place then, and I knew that I would feel even more out of place now.

Gadreel whipped the car passed the club, further to the outskirts of the empty lots next to it,
that bordered a wooded area. It's probably as secluded as it can get, over here. He parked and
then came over to my side. I took off my seatbelt and waited.

He opened my car door and pulled me to the edge of my seat and maneuvered me, so my legs
were hanging out of the car. He kept moving me, until my ass was barely on the passenger's
seat. He looked up at me and grinned. He kissed up my legs, before hooking both of my legs
over his shoulders. He pulled the toy out of me and tossed it in the backseat.

He gave me a slow lick and I whimpered, not prepared to feel him doing this. He swirled his
tongue around and it became clear that he knew what he was doing. I was already sensitive
and on edge, from the toy that he had me wearing. It didn't take long, until I felt my climax. I
cried out, as my legs tightened around him.

Just like at the coffeehouse, he didn't stop or let me ride out my release. He thrust two fingers
inside of me and wrapped his lips around my clit and sucked. I wailed, as I slammed into
another orgasm. My body jerked and I felt a rush of liquid gush from me. He kept moving his
fingers and the sounds that our bodies made were obscene, but they only seemed to spur him
on.

I tried to push his head away, and surprisingly, he let me. He shrugged off his jacket and used
it to wipe his face and my legs with. I panted and tried to not look so affected. His lips curved
in a smug smirk, as he got to his feet. He pulled me out of the car and to my feet. I wobbled,
still not trusting my legs. He kissed me hard and licked into my mouth, quickly making it
filthy. I tried my best to keep up.
Just as quickly as it started, the kiss ended. He spun me around and yanked my dress up, over
my hips. He pushed me, so I was bent over, clutching the open car door.

I heard the rustle of his clothing and guessed that he was pleasuring himself. He grunted and
his fingers found my leaking core. He moved them away and I felt his dick nudge my pussy. I
gasped and forced myself not to move. He shot hot cum onto my pussy and I felt it drip
inside. He groaned and rocked his hips, so the tip pressed further, letting his cum paint my
insides.

Finally, he moved away and yanked my dress back down. I stood up and grabbed his jacket to
try and clean myself up. He took it out of my hands and shook his head.

“Leave it. You can wipe it off, when we leave the club. If you still want to take out the
pigtails, you can.” He told me, firmly.

I looked down and dropped my gaze to my toes. I hastily pulled out the hair ties and shook
out my hair. I ran a shaky hand through my hair and brushed it over to the side.

“Baby,” Gadreel breathed, as he stepped closer to me. I looked up at him and he kissed me. I
didn't kiss him back, but he didn't seem bothered by it. “You're doing so well for me. I'm so
proud of you, Babygirl.” He cooed. I blushed hard.

“Thanks, Daddy,” I whispered.

He took my hand in his and closed the car door, leaving his jacket behind. He locked up, and
lead me to the club. It was a short walk, but I could already feel it dripping down my thighs.
I'm praying that it's dark enough that no one will be able to tell.

Gadreel opened the door for me, and ushered me inside. He bypassed the host, and took a
reserved table towards the back, away from the stages. Before I could slip into the empty
booth, I saw Azazel approaching us out my peripheral. He was leering at me, and Gadreel
puffed up with pride. I didn't even bother to hide my disgust. That guy is a serious rodent.

“I never expected to see you here, Dean.” Ole Yellow Eyes purred. I grimaced and rolled my
eyes. “Your keeper has been keeping me appraised of when he's going to finally auction off
that tight little snatch of yours.” His voice was nauseatingly gleeful.

“I wouldn't worry about that, if I were you. Her pussy is mine and you'll never need to worry
about touching it.” Gadreel told him in a calm voice, like they discussing the weather or a
football game. Azazel narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to my angel.

“Show him, Baby. Bend over and touch the table, so my intellect-impaired acquaintance can
embrace how much of a lost cause his hope is.” Gadreel instructed.

I huffed, but did as he asked. I didn't bother with hiking up my dress. I figured Gadreel would
do it for me. He seems to like being the one to handle me. When my dress moved and his
hand stayed on my hip, I knew that I made the right call. I glanced over my shoulder and saw
Gadreel pull out his phone and turn on his flashlight. God, this is mortifying.
“That doesn't prove anything.” Azazel hissed. Gadreel just chuckled.

“Doesn't it? She tastes even sweeter, than she looks. You would not believe just how tight she
is. Should I take a picture and send it to you? After all, this is as close as you're ever going to
get.” Gadreel taunted him. I stiffened.

“You can't… You can't take a picture. I'm only sixteen. Doing that counts as producing child
porn.” I spoke up loud and clear.

“You're so smart, Baby.” Gadreel praised me and helped me stand back up. He pulled down
my dress and adjusted it for me. “Sit down, Babygirl. We're going to have dinner.”

After the awful start, dinner was mostly anticlimactic. He had some hotshot come talk with
him for a few minutes and had me sit on his lap the entire time. He stroked me under the
table, but otherwise didn't draw attention to it.

True to his word, he let me clean up in the car, as we left the club. He produced baby wipes
and a pair of modest white underwear. I gratefully slipped them on and tried to forget how
tired I felt. I hoped our night would be over soon, because I just want to scrub my body and
fall into bed. I'm not at all ready to unpack anything that I'm feeling.

I noticed that we were pulling into Inferno and I let out a small, shaky breath of relief. I've
never been so glad to see this place. Rowena was waiting for us outside.

“I'll see you in two days. You've earned a day off. Get some sleep, Baby. I'll be seeing you,
Dean.” Gadreel told me, as I got out of the car. I nodded and walked over to Rowena. She
wrapped her arms around me and led me to a car that was waiting. We both clambered inside
and I felt my exhaustion take over.

‘Mirror, mirror unleash your tongue.

Am I too old, am I too young?
I am worthy of thy love?
Mirror, mirror you're so vain.
Would you sell yourself for fame?
Are you the vulture or are you the dove?...

I won't close my eyes, like you want me to.

I'm wild and free, I am untamable.
I'm more than you'll ever see, more than just your dirty pretty…
I won't be what you want me to be, your picture-perfect vanity.
I don't want to be your dirty pretty…’
 more than life
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "more than life" -- MGK featuring glaive

‘I fill my lungs, ‘cause my heart's made of concrete.

I looked to God, even he doesn't want me.
I grind my teeth, in my sleep, ‘cause of bad dreams.
Try to live my life, but this ecstasy's inside me.
Damn, I can't wake up happy.
I just took a knife to the strings, that attach me.
Every day's passing, everyone's laughing.
JFK, they might find my brains in the backseat.

I'm trying my best not to open up my heart.

It's been torn apart, too many times,
But without you, I'd die, and I don't wanna die.
Not today, not tomorrow, not tonight, I don't wanna die.
I need you, I need you more than life.
More than life…’

Chapter Twenty:

Despite my exhaustion, and the long soak in the tub, I was too wound up to sleep. I left my
drying hair down, not even bothering to throw it up in a messy bun. I pulled on a loose pair of
sweats, a sports bra, and a zip-up hoodie that I left opened. I shoved socks on my feet and my
feet into slippers, before traipsing down to the diner. It was still pretty early. It was barely
nine-thirty.

I had texted Cas, when I got home and told him I was mentally tapped. He suggested a cuddle
puddle with Meg, after comfort food, and I agreed, so fast. I gave myself a thorough scrub
and brushed my teeth and used mouthwash, twice.
“Mon Cœur, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.” Benny boomed, when he saw me. I gave him a
meek wave, before barreling over to wrap him in a hug. He lifted me off of my feet and
swung me around. I giggled and held on tighter. He pressed a kiss to my temple, before
setting me down.

“I'll whip you up something delish. You want your usual?” He asked me. I nodded.

“Cas and Meg are on the way, too.” I told him. He nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

I noticed the bikers and gave a wave. They smiled, when they saw me. I heard the door to
diner open and saw Cas step inside. I ran over to him and hugged him. He wrapped his arms
around me, before leaning down to kiss me. I relaxed into his embrace and just let myself be
held.

“I missed you.” I whispered. His hold on me tightened and I made no effort to move away.

“I see how it is. Clarence is first through the door, so he gets all of the love and I'm just
chopped liver. Way to make a girl feel loved, Cupcake.” Meg teased, as she walked over to
us.

“Come hug us, or go sit down.” I breathed. Cas' chest vibrated with laughter, as did as I
asked.

She wrapped her arms around us and snuggled up against us. I hummed, happily. I knew
Benny would have our asses, if we didn't eat, before falling into bed for a giant cuddle
puddle. Resolutely, we detangled ourselves and moseyed over to an empty booth. We didn't
talk, but enjoyed a comfortable silence.

It didn't take long for Benny to bring us steaming plates of food, dessert and a round of hot
tea. I smiled at him, gratefully, as I dug into my food. I sighed into my burger, and felt a way
of fundamental appreciation and gratitude for the amazing people in my life.

Sure, almost everything sucks balls, right now, but the people I love – who also love me –
help me keep it together and I sure was glad to know ‘em and to have ‘em in my life.

True to his word, after we ate our fill, we retired to my apartment and all snuggled together
on my bed. We laid with our limbs intertwined, under the comforter, and we didn't speak. It
was so nice. I felt sheltered and safe.

I don't know how Cas has a knack for knowing what I need, when I don't even know, but I'm
glad that he has it. It's something that I've never really had the privilege of experiencing
before. It was just so fucking nice.

Meg was playing Led Zeppelin quietly in the background from her phone and it was perfect.
My day had been awful. I didn't even know how to begin to unpack everything that had
happened. I didn't know if I was going to be able to unpack everything that I was feeling,
until after everything was said and done.

If I stop compartmentalizing everything, I don't know that I'll be able to see this through. I
doubt that I'd have the strength to… and failure isn't an option. It can't be – not when
Sammy's life depends on it. It feels like the world is always on my shoulders, and ya girl is
beyond ready to be free of the weight.

“We should go on a trip, after all of this is over.” Meg suggested, softly. I hummed in
response and nodded, even though my head was still on Cas' chest, and Meg was spooning
me from behind.

“I would like that. What do you think, Dean?” Cas agreed. I nuzzled my face against his
chest.

“I'd like that, too, Angel. Where should we go, Xena?” I asked them. Meg chuckled at her
new nickname. I think it's fitting.

“We could go to the coast, see the ocean. It doesn't matter which one.” Meg decided, after a
minute or two of quiet pondering.

“Roadtrip?” I suggested. “I've always wanted to take the time to drive across the country and
stop at all the cheesiest tourist attractions. Dad never really let us. Sammy would never admit
it, but he's always wanted it, too. We could get a selfie stick and be completely cliché. It
would be great. Search for the place with the best pie. Visit different apiaries. See all the
serial killer museums.” I added, with a smile. God, that sounds nice.

“That sounds amazing, Cupcake. Don't ya think, Clarence? The four of us could go. It'd be
the best time. Just taking time to be happy and not rush.” Meg agreed. I sighed, happily. I
could get used to this.

“I think that we should. I'm sure that Sam would enjoy it, too. We'll make it happen. We'll get
you through this, and when we do, we'll take the vacation. I'm sure Gabriel will have some
tourist attraction suggestions.” Cas' voice was soft and I could hear the smile in his voice.

Maybe, just maybe, we really get through this unscathed enough to be able to enjoy the little
things, like we plan to. Before A Little Slice of Heaven, and meeting Gabe – and
consequently everyone else, I never would have dared to hope that this could even be a
possibility. They've helped change me in ways that I'm still uncovering.

Without them, I probably wouldn't be dead, but I'd be wishing that I was. And that, in itself,
is a miracle. Sammy has always been my reason for living and staying alive, but life has been
so hard, for so long. In death, at least I wouldn't be struggling, anymore. It's a thought that
scares me, but is also something so engrained in my core, that holding onto it, is like hugging
an old friend.

I wouldn't say that I'm suicidal, but my will to live isn't always there. I live and keep living
out spite and out of determination to protect my brother at all costs. I doubt he knows or will
ever know that he has saved me, so many times, by just being alive. He makes me a better
person, and makes me want to keep getting better. If this is what he's like as a kid, I can only
imagine how awesome he'll be, once he's grown into the man he'll become.

It's another one of those somethings that I don't talk about. I can't. People wouldn't
understand it, because I barely do. It's something that I keep tucked away and locked up tight
and close to my heart.

I can't always afford to have self worth. Dad's done his best to beat it out of me. And
sometimes, I really don’t feel like it's something that exists for me. I'm a possession, an
object. It's something that keeps getting reinforced and cemented into my brain.

I’m not in control of myself. I don't get to decide what I do or even who I do. Someone owns
me. Multiple someone's own me. I don't even have all of myself to offer or to give away. I
just have fragments. I don't know that when everyone else realizes that, that anyone would
even want me, anyway. They all deserve so much better than me.

‘I need you, I need you more than life…

What's the point of livin'?

I heard death was easier.
I fell in love, but I'm scared I won't keep her.
What's the point of livin'?
I heard death was easier.
I looked over my shoulder and I see the Reaper…

But without you, I'd die, and I don't wanna die…’

 King
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "King" -- Saint PHNX

‘I don't want to lose my head.

I don't want to sell my soul.
Feel it taking over.
Feel the pressure creep in.
I don't want to waste my time.
I don't want to lose control.
One thing you remember, in the end, you'll know my name.

I just want to scream, that nothing's what it seems.

I'll just keep believing, one day, I'll be king.
Say it loud enough.
I ain't going nowhere.
You can't break me down.
One day, I'll be king.’

Chapter Twenty-One:

The days were starting to pass by in a blur. More often than not, I was disassociating.
Logically, I knew that it was my brain's way of coping, but it didn't help me feel any less
frustrated. I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not. Since I've been able to actually sleep, I
guess it can't be all bad.

Despite not doing anything truly outlandish, Alastair seems to be revving up to worse and
worse behavior. He's made a point to showboat me around. Yellow Eyes keeps circling and it
makes Gadreel hella jealous. Even Zachariah has been making appearances. Alastair just
keeps yucking it up. He's basking in all the attention. He's beside himself with twisted glee,
because it's obvious that they're fighting over me.
The more I'm coveted, the more he can charge. I shudder to think what that will mean for me.
It's not something I want to think about. Dealing with any of them is a headache, at the very
least. I gave Rowena the okay to start searching for Cain. I have a terrible feeling that things
are going to start coming to a head much sooner, than I'll be ready for them.

“Dean, I have some things I'd like you to wear tonight.” Gadreel told me. My eyebrows rose,
betraying my surprise. I got to my feet and stood in front of him. He smiled and hummed in
appreciation. He likes me to be prompt and he likes to be obeyed the first time. I've learned
that much, in our short time together.

He handed me a bare brown box. I opened it and flicked my eyes over to his. He was excited
and his breathing increased. I don't have a good feeling about this.

I gazed inside and pulled out four things. The first was a white leather collar, probably to
replace the choker that he always has me wear. The next was a white leather leash. The last
two things were a white headband with white cat ears attached, and a white cat tail.

“Are you fucking kidding me, G?” I hissed, not bothering to cover up my disdain. His lips
curved into an easy smirk and he relished in my reaction.

“You don't like it, Baby?” He purred, as he took off the choker I was already wearing.

I fumed as he attached the collar and leash. He slipped the headband on my head, and took
the tail out of my hands. He fastened it onto my dress. I don't know what his fascination is
with always having me wear white, but he's never had me wear any other color.

“No,” I replied, haughtily. He laughed and gripped the leash in his hands. His nostrils flared
with obvious arousal.

“That's a shame, because I do. Why don't you be a good girl, and come sit on Daddy's lap? I'll
have Lilith fetch us some drinks.” Gadreel ordered. I nodded, not bothering to tell him that
Lilith hated his guts. It really doesn't matter that she hates him, because she loves me, but he
knows that already.

My insufferable angel took a seat in one of the lavish armchairs in the VIP section of Inferno.
We don't come here super often, but I think he's proving a point, more than anything. I knew
that Alastair wanted to speak to him, but I also knew that Gadreel wouldn't be going out of
his way to seek him out. Alastair had wanted us to go by Leviathan, but Gadreel didn't take
kindly to orders. I'd be the one to suffer the consequences. I always am.

“You look beautiful, Babygirl, but I knew that you would. You're so perfect for me,
submitting, every time I ask. I know you can feel how hard you make me.” He told me in a
low voice. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what I could even say to that.
“Grind against me, Baby.” He ordered. I placed my hands on his shoulders and did as he
asked, once I was situated on his lap. His hands settled on my ass and he held me firmly
against him.

“Gadreel, Alastair is looking for you.” Crowley drawled from behind me.

I froze, momentarily, before remembering my orders. Gadreel looked unimpressed. He

moved a hand to the back of my head and pulled me forward enough to catch my lips with
his. He shoved his tongue into my mouth and set demanding pace.

“He's on his way here. I suggest you fix your attitude, before he arrives.” Crowley added.

“And if I don't? I'm busy, clearly.” Gadreel growled, using his grip on my hair to yank my
head back. I hissed at the pain.

“And if you don't, do you really think that Dean will stay yours to play with?” Crowley
countered. Gadreel fumed and visibly thought over his warning.

“We have a deal.” Gadreel said, instead. Crowley snickered at that.

“Yes, because a demon would never go back on a deal. We're such trustworthy creatures,
after all.” Crowley's condescending tone left no room to misunderstand him.

“Noted. Dean, get on your knees.” Gadreel sighed.

His chair was facing the wall, but anyone close would be able to see what he’s having me do.
I nodded, and slipped off of the chair and knelt in front of him. He unbuttoned and unzipped
his pants. He pulled himself free and looked at me, expectantly. He gripped the leash tightly
and pulled me closer, until I complied. I looked down and opened my mouth to get to work.

I took him into my mouth and tried to focus on anything else. God, this is so demeaning. He
held me down in place, so I couldn't move or breathe, until he wanted me to. I was
completely at his mercy, just like he prefers it.

I gagged around him, as I heard footsteps. They're getting louder and they feel like Alastair.
He has a vile aura that no one else has. Sensing an audience, Gadreel let me up to breathe,
before quickly pushing my head back down, again. I gagged, and didn't my best to swallow
around him. My throat and nose burned. My eyes were watering and I’m sure I wasn't a
pretty sight.

“This is what you're doing, that you're so busy with that you can't come when I call you?”
Alastair asked, as he stopped, right next to me. I glanced up, unable to do anything else, since
I had my mouth and throat full. Alastair placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled cruelly at
Gadreel.

“Come, and then we can speak.” Alastair ordered.

As soon as the order left his lips, Gadreel shot down my throat and I coughed. He rocked his
hips up and made no hurry to ride out his orgasm. He kept fucking my face for a good
minute, before releasing me. I fell forward and struggled to breathe. Alastair helped me to my
feet, and wiped my face clean with a cloth.

“Thank you,” I wheezed. He smiled, and touched his lips to my forehead, and placed a kiss
there. It was tender, but I held no delusions, as far as Alastair was concerned. This was to
show ownership. That much was obvious. And he does own me. Gadreel doesn't. He rents me
out. After all, I'm just property.

“Has something happened for you to forget who you answer to, Angel? Dean is mine. I don't
have to allow you access to one of my most prized possessions. Or have you forgotten that?”
Alastair spoke to Gadreel like he was a small child misbehaving. And in a way, it's not like
he's wrong.

“I think that you have forgotten that I don't answer to you, Alastair. I am an angel. We are not
equals. You are below me, even if you like to pretend like you aren't.” Gadreel reminded the
demon.

I felt the air around us crackle and sizzle with charged energy. Alastair tapped my shoulder
and I knew he wanted me out of striking distance. Lilith reached me, first. She, Crowley, and
Rowena, were watching things unfold. This could be bad and incredibly messy. No matter the
outcome, this didn't bode well.

Gadreel doesn't speak for heaven. I don't know how much grace he has or how any of that
works. If he spites Alastair with this many witnesses, did that mean that war would break
out? Would everyone here be forced to act in his defense? There were too many unknowns.
The timing is all wrong. We aren't ready to make a move yet.

I spotted Azazel with Ruby in tow. He looked beside himself with excitement. He wants the
bigger players to take each other out, so he can make a move. No big surprise there.

“Children, you should know better than to let your minions see your spats.” A deep voice
chastised them. I looked to pinpoint the voice and saw Lucifer. I schooled my face to keep
surprise off of it. No one can know that I know who he is.

“Gadreel, it's tasteless to pick on those lesser than you. You should know that, by now. You
always were my least favorite brother. At least Michael has the balls to stand up for what he
believes. You're just a sniveling snake, and that's coming from me.” Lucifer scolded him,
with a smirk on his face.

Alastair was pissed. The fury was radiating off of him. Probably both from being upstaged,
and from being ignored. He wasn't the biggest bully in the sandbox, and he hated that fact. He
could talk a big game, but that wouldn't give him any more power.

“I don't recall giving you an invitation, Lucifer.” Alastair grunted. Lucifer beamed at his
outburst.

“Oh, well, why would you? I'm an angel, remember? You're talking to the big boys, Kiddo. I
know that can be confusing for you. I don't answer to you. And this club isn't your domain.
It's Crowley's. He's the King of Hell.
“You don't need to know who my friends are, but when I heard that you had a righteous
human of the Winchester line under your thumb, I had to see it for myself. I can admit that I
was intrigued. It's not everyday that happens. Granted, I expected it to be John Winchester,
and not one of the children.

“But hey, scruples, am I right? I mean, John is a pathetic old bastard, but praying on
children… not even I would do that, and I'm the Devil.” Luci lamented. Gadreel looked
vaguely intrigued, and Alastair was getting madder by the second.

“If you're gonna talk shit, then speak up and say it with your chest, Azazel. You've always
been a spineless inbred.” Lilith hissed, gripping his arm. He cried out in pain and Ruby
watched with a detached interest. “Keep talking and I'm going to rip your tongue from your
head.”

“Why do you care, if I have the Winchester girl?” Alastair asked Lucifer.

“She has potential and she deserves better than the two of you.” The Devil replied, with a
shrug.

“I'm not sharing her with you.” Gadreel told him, calmly. Lucifer shushed him.

“Hush, now, the adults are talking.” Lucifer dismissed him.

“She is mine.” Alastair grit out. Luci laughed.

“Is she? And who would she belong to, if I killed you?” Lucifer sang. The club got
uncomfortably quiet after that. It was a challenge and it was one that he could back up. I don't
understand what all the fuss is about. I'm just a dumb, human, teenage girl.

“Gadreel, you haven't been honest with your friends, have you? You're not just slinking
around Earth, you were cast out of Heaven. You're less powerful, than me. Remember your
place. Alastair, you're too busy playing dress up, as someone with legitimate power, to see
reality.

“Stay in your lanes, Children. This isn't your club. Crowley is done playing nice and he's
severing business ties with you, and I have to say, that I'm a fan of the way he runs Hell. I'll
be around, but this, fighting over Dean, it's gonna get you killed. I can promise you that.”
Lucifer vowed with a wink and his signature smirk.

I was too spooked to leave the club, right away. I knew that the confrontation was a blessing
and a curse. Momentarily, I'm safe. Long-term? Not so much. I needed whatever protection
Lucifer thought Cain could give me. Leaving is something that he can't know about. Lilith
promised she would leave immediately and go find him. Even once we have a plan, we have
to bide our time. There are too many factors. There is so much that can go wrong.
“Penny for your thoughts, Little One?” Luci asked me. I sighed and grimaced.

“I'm wishing that I was out of these tight clothes, had underwear on, and sweatpants and a tee
shirt.” I sighed. He laughed at my honesty. He waved his hand and I was in the clothes I had
been picturing. The cat accessories were thankfully gone and my feet were clad in my
slippers. I grinned and leaned against him, to give him a hug. He let out a breath of surprise,
but returned it.

We were in the back of the club, where no one else could see or overhear us. They had sent
everyone else home, after the dick measuring contest. Jimmy was serving us drinks. Rowena
and Crowley joined us. Despite struggling to relax, I was actually having a good time.

“You need shots.” Jimmy advised. I snorted, but didn't decline.

“If you take them with us, Jimmy.” I agreed. He looked to Crowley and he just nodded, good-
naturedly.

“When we make it out of this and things have settled down, we're gonna have a karaoke
night. And I expect all of you to duet with me. No exceptions.” I told them all.

“I would love to, Dean. I’m killer with the microphone.” Lucifer agreed easily. I beamed at
him and threw back two lemon drop shots.

“Bon Jovi, Crowley, you'll love it.” I promised. Crowley gave me a fond smile, but agreed,
just the same.

“I'll sing with you, Darling.” Crowley agreed.

“How can I say no to you, Dearie?” Rowena mused, wrapping an arm around me. I relaxed
against her and gave up trying to guess how everything was going to play out.

“Jimmy?” I asked, staring at him, expectantly. “Don't make me ask your brother for tips on
how to annoy you into saying yes.” I threatened. Rowena and Lucifer snickered at that.

“Yeah, okay. Bring Cas and Gabe, and we can do a karaoke night.” He laughed.

“Perfect.”

‘Never been a perfect time, never in the state of mind.

Waiting for the moment, keep the fire burning.
I don't want to lose my way, took me so long to find.
One thing, you remember, in the end, you'll know my name…

I control my destiny.
I'm not the man I used to be.
Tonight, it's here, for everyone to see.
I will be king.’
 in these walls (my house)
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "in these walls (my house)" -- MGK featuring PVRIS

‘I feel you in these walls.

You're a cold air creeping in.
Chill me to my bones and skin.
I heard you down the hall, but it's vacant, when I'm looking in.
Oh, who let you in?
You walk around, like you own the place, but you never say anything.
I caught you walking straight through my walls.
Guess it was all my fault, I think I let you in.’

Chapter Twenty-Two:

I woke up hissing in pain. The spot on my shoulder that Alastair had marked me, was burning
something fierce. I grappled with my phone and fell out of bed, when my limbs weren't
working well enough yet to work properly. I had three missed calls from Alastair and a text.
Fuck.

To Dean:
‘Dean, call me, when you wake up. I don't take kindly to being ignored. I suggest you do your
best to grovel.
-Alastair'

I huffed, when I read his message. This has to be about last night. It's barely afternoon. What
could he possibly want this early? Doesn't that asshole ever sleep? God.

I listened to the ringing trill in my ears. For someone in dire need of getting ahold of me, he
sure is taking his sweet time answering my call. Figures, typical demon.

“Dean, how kind of you to call back.” Alastair drawled. I rolled my eyes, thankful that he
couldn't actually see me.
“What is it?” I huffed, still annoyed that I was conscious, while my head was pounding.

“I'm summoning you, obviously.” He replied, clearly trying and failing to be funny.

“Yeah, why?” I quipped, clearly not amused by his antics.

“You are my property, are you not?” He pressed, ignoring my question.

“And I'm asking what you need me for, so I can dress appropriately, obviously.” I sighed. He
hummed, as he considered my words.

“Your usual attire is fine. Meet me at Leviathan. I think you could do with a reminder of who
is in charge in this relationship. Don't worry your pretty little head about the rest. Rowena
and Jimmy will meet us there. I expect to see you in an hour.” He explained, before ending
the call. I scrambled to my feet and ran to the bathroom. I scrubbed my teeth and waited for
the shower to warm up.

Going through the motions to get ready, didn't take me very long. Rowena had gotten to my
place, after I was out of the shower. She chose my clothes and set to work on my makeup. I
was in tight, black leather pants; a black, lace pushup bra; a sheer, black, lace crop top that
was sleeveless; black lace panties; and black heeled combat boots. A quick dark smoky eye,
and a black lippie had me set.

Rowena gave me a spelled dagger that no one could wield, but me. She spelled it with my
blood, and told me that it could kill demons, if plunged entirely in one. No one would be able
to see it or touch it, but me. She fastened a thigh scabbard for me.

I was grateful for it. It made me feel at least a little protected. She must have the same
thought process I did. If Alastair is going out of his way to display me, he's probably up to no
good. It wouldn't help against Gadreel, but I would take what I could get.

As soon as I stepped out of the car, the hair on the back of my neck bristled and stood to
attention. The club is packed full today. It's heavy in demon presence. I knew that Rowena
could feel it, too. I almost didn't want her here. I know that she's powerful, but she's so
outnumbered. I hoped that Lilith would be in attendance.

Ro and I held hands, as we stepped inside of the club. It didn't have the same seductive thrum
that Crowley's had, especially without the usual humans in attendance. I gave Rowena's hand
a squeeze, before anyone else could see us. I couldn't afford to look weak now. I knew at least
that much.
Rowena and I walked over to the stage. She stepped off to the side, and I sauntered up to the
front of the stage. Alastair was seated on stage in a tall armchair, that he sat in like a throne.
Homeboy has seen too many 'True Blood' episodes, if you ask me. He's certainly no Eric
Northman.

“Come up here and see me, Dean.” Alastair voiced. I nodded and climbed onto the stage,
easily.

He stood up and held something I couldn't see in his hand. He fastened something around my
neck and it felt eerily like a collar. He attached something to it and my stomach fell. I knew
that my initial guess was right. He held the leash, proudly.

“Come sit with me, Pet.” He ordered, as he took his seat. I perched on his lap and watched
him, warily. He looked far too proud, for comfort.

“Why are we here, Alastair?” I breathed, careful to keep my voice low and unable to be
overheard. He stoked the side of my face and looked at me fondly. Everything about his body
language screams deception.

I cried out, as he whipped my head back. I didn't have time to brace for the blow. He
backhanded me so fast. He did it, again, and again. I didn't react. I knew that’s what he
wanted – what he was waiting for. I purposely didn't look over to Rowena. This was nothing.
I was used to John Winchester. Living with my father had prepared me for this abuse. I could
take it. I wasn't fragile. Alastair couldn't break me.

“We're here, Dean, because you needed to be reminded of who owns you. You have powerful
friends, but that doesn't change your reality. Your precious brother benefits from you
remembering your place. I could kill him, just as easily, just because I feel like it. I could kill
him, and then you'd be left with nothing. Wouldn't you?” He sneered.

I growled, at that. He looked amused. I straightened my back and moved, so I straddled his
lap. I knew my face was bleeding, and I made no move to stop it. I didn't care. I waited to
talk, until I saw that I had his full attention. I could care less about the grip he had on the
leash.

“Don't interrupt me, Alastair. I suggest you shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say.”
I hissed at him. His eyes narrowed and his entire demeanor became dangerous. Good.

“You have one saving grace, right now, and that's Sam. The only control you have over me, is
him. You're awfully bold to threaten his life for kicks and giggles.

“I didn't do anything to question your authority. You're butt-hurt, because you've been
careless, and you've pissed off people who are more powerful, than you are. That's not my
problem. I promise you, that if you kill my brother, it will be the last thing you ever do. I may
not know how to kill a demon, but you can bet your sweet ass, that it's something I will figure
out. And that's a Winchester promise.

“It's something you'll never come back from. You kill him, and what then? You think you can
control me now? Wait until I don't have a reason to live anymore. I die and I go to heaven,
Alastair. You die and you cease to exist. You think you've got it bad now? Just wait, until I
make it so much worse. I've been playing nice. I haven't fought you. I haven't undermined
your authority. Are you trying to give me a reason to start?

“You wanted my obedience, and I've given it to you. You wanted me to do what you said. I
have. You wanted me to do who I said. And I have. You know I ain't a quitter. I never give
up. But it makes you feel so big and bad, threatening a kid and her kid brother, doesn't it?
Look me in the eyes, Alastair. Am I lying?” I kept my voice even and steady, as I threatened
him. He looked lethal.

“And what of the damage I could do in the meantime? What's to stop me from raping that
sweet little cunt of yours, right here? You'll tripping over yourself, gagging to apologize, by
the time I'm through with you.” He sneered. I laughed, humorless, but full of bite.

“You think so? Then do it. You've done nothing to protect him. Careless on your part, really.
Don't worry, that will change. Gadreel has already threatened to end him. If he does that, I'm
holding you personally responsible. You promised your protection to me and to Sam. So, do
better.” I hissed. Alastair watched me with calculating eyes and he rolled his hips underneath
me. He was hard. Of course, he was.

“I'll take that under consideration.”

“Have I done something to displease you?” I pressed, not reacting to his current ailment. He
looked at me thoughtfully, before shaking his head.

“No, Pet, you haven't. And while I don't appreciate being spoken to in that way, I can't deny
that you have a point. Perhaps, I was too quick to bestow judgement, when really, it was my
pride hurting. You've done well, since our last talk, about your behavior. Gadreel has told me
nothing, but good things.” He admitted. I nodded.

“You should know, that he's waiting to double-cross you. He's been serious about his threats
to take my virginity and doesn't seem fazed, when I remind him that it's not his to take, but
yours. I'm not saying this to stir the pot or cause issue. But he's a swarmy angel, and I thought
that you should know. He hasn't been quiet about his opinions of you. It's just disrespectful.”
I told him, before I could reconsider. Alastair's lips flattened in a thin line.

“Thank you, for telling me, Dean. Be a good girl and give me a blowjob. Then, I'll think
about how best to handle that winged annoyance. I can't think properly, with you on top of
me.”

Rowena and I were cuddled together on the barstools at the bar. Jimmy was being a peach
and keeping our glasses filled. I'd already cleaned my teeth and had been throwing the drinks
back, trying to forget about the beginning on the evening.
Sammy was a sore subject. I've been avoiding him. I was acutely aware that Alastair hadn't
been trying to actually ensure his safety. I didn't want to make it easy on anyone, and make it
easy to follow me to Sam. He's still just a kid. He's so young. He's finally able to do kid
things. I don't want to take that away from him.

“Do you have a minute, Dean?” Zachariah asked me. I looked at him skeptically, but nodded,
just the same.

“What do you want?” I asked, clearly annoyed at having to talk to him. I haven't seen him
since his last ass-kicking. He's such a sniveling, little bitch.

“I was just wondering what would happen, if someone were to attack you outside of this
place.” He replied with a shrug.

“If that person were a human, I would kill them. That's an easy one.” I told him, with a sweet
smile. He bristled at that.

“What if they had your brother?” He tried, again.

“They would die. If you touch my brother, I will either put a bullet or a blade in between your
eyes. Do you really think it wise to threaten either of us?” I quipped. He paled, but something
about the look in his eye gave me pause.

“Actually,” I said, stroking his arm with my finger, “come here, Big Boy. You want a taste,
don't you? I guess it wouldn't kill me to be nicer to ya.” I purred.

He was too conceited to even question it. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. What a big,
fuckin' idiot.

I gripped his shirt and pulled me close to me. I was still sitting on a barstool. Doesn't matter.
I'm still close enough to reach what I need to. I licked my bottom lip and opened my legs
wide, so he could fit in between them.

I caught Rowena's eye, from across the club. I pulled Zachariah closer, while I used my free
hand to pull my knife free. He wouldn't even see it coming. I'm fucking tired of men
threatening me.

I moved a hand behind his neck. He moved his face toward mine, going in for a kiss. I turned
my face, so he didn't meet my mouth. He growled, just as punctured his neck with my blade.
I pulled it free and jabbed it back into his body, twice more. I got hit with a warm spray of
blood, as his hands flew to his neck. He made an audible thump, as he fell to the ground,
twitching.

“Does anyone else want to threaten me or my brother?” I yelled. No one said anything.
Crowley sauntered over and looked proud. Rowena kissed my cheek helped me to my feet.
“Fergus will take care of this, Dearie. Let's get you home and in a bath.”

“You should go see Sam tomorrow. I'm giving you the day off.” Rowena advised me. I
nodded, as she worked shampoo through my hair. I didn't feel bad about killing that sleaze,
but I was in shock.

“Castiel is on his way over, Love.” She told me. I looked at her, gratefully. I'm beginning to
wonder if I'll have any more normal days.

“I didn't think twice about killing him.” I breathed.

“Thinking twice gets you killed. Don't think twice. Right now, you can't afford that.” Ro
replied. I nodded, knowing that she was right. And honestly, this is probably just the
beginning of a lot of bloodshed.

“Hey Honey, Rowena said you were having a rough couple of days.” Cas said, as he walked
into my bathroom. I gave him a small smile.

“Hi Angel, I've missed you.” I told him. Rowena stood up and kissed Cas on his cheek,
before taking her leave.

“I'll leave you in his capable hands. Lots of cuddling would probably help. I'll check on you
tomorrow, Dear Girl.”

“Thanks, Ro. Get home safe.” I called out, as I got out of the tub, still covered in suds. I
drained the water and turned the shower on. “Wanna get clean, with me?” I asked Cas,
sleepily. He nodded.

I stepped into the shower and started rinsing out my shampoo. Cas got in behind me, and
took over hair duty. I sighed, contently, as he got the rest of the shampoo out of my tresses.
He made quick work of lathering in conditioner. I leaned back, into him, and felt a wave of
exhaustion hit me.

It didn't take long for us to get clean, working together to clean ourselves. We were drying
off, a few minutes later. I didn't bother with pajamas, neither did Cas. We slipped into bed
together and snuggled under a couple of extra blankets, to make up for our lack of clothing. I
laid in his arms and marveled with how safe he made me feel – how loved. At least he's one
good thing that has come out of the monstrosity that is my life.

“Love you,” I whispered, as I drifted off to sleep.

“I love you, too, Dean.”

 ‘Don't think for a minute, I'ma let you convince me, that what we started is finished.
Or for a second, that I wouldn't take a bullet to the head for you
Paint the bottom of my floor red for you.
Kissed by an angel.
Touched by the devil.
Blood from a nose, red as a rose petal…

Hide all the fresh wounds, like a band-aid, with the stripes on the black suits, for the
campaign.
Oh, what a damn shame.
King of the underworld, what a damn name, ‘cause he killed all the other girls in the damn
frame,
For a queen that he never realized had fangs.
Damn, do you feel what I'm sayin’?
Take a knife in the back, wanna feel my pain.
Make a slice to the wrist, to reveal those veins.’
 Nothing Left to Lose
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit: "Nothing Left to Lose" -- The Pretty Reckless

‘I try real hard, but I can't forget.

Now in a heartbeat, I would do it all again…

Lost between Elvis and suicide, ever since the day we died.
Well, I got nothin' left to lose.
After Jesus and rock ‘n roll, couldn't save my immoral soul.
Well, I got nothin' left.
I got nothin' left to lose.’

Chapter Twenty-Three:

I packed a bag with essentials that I needed for a few days. Rowena's suggestion stuck in my
head. I shot Sammy and Bobby a text early, and they both jumped at the chance for me to
come stay with them for a few days. Not seeing Sammy was starting to take its toll on me. I
missed him so fucking much.

I also needed to talk to Bobby and Ellen about a backup plan to keep him safe. Rowena
offered to come by and help us add wards to their property, even to help ward off angels. She
agreed to come by in the afternoon and it gave me some peace of mind. I was grateful for it –
for them.

Spending the night with Cas and enjoying time with him, until he had to leave in the morning
was so nice. He's the reverie that keeps my head from staying in such a dark place. He just
gives me so much unconditional love and I'm so grateful to him for it. I know I'm young, but
I really think that he's it for me. I can't imagine ever finding a more pure love, than his.

I grabbed the gun that I kept in my bedside table and debated whether or not I wanted to carry
it. I usually don't but something in my gut told me that I should bring it. I slipped my holster
on, and put my gun in it. I threw on a flannel over it, hiding it from view.
The world feels like it has chaotic energy today. It made me feel restless and uneasy. I was
ready to meet whatever comes with fists up and a kick in the ass. I don't know what's coming,
but the world can fuckin’ bring it. I ain't scared.

Sammy chattered animatedly, as I pulled up to his school. We were early. He wanted to get a
jump start on some project, and I offered to take him. I was drumming on my leg, with the
fingers on my right hand, tapping right above the scabbard that held the knife that Ro gave
me. I parked, smoothly, and Sam shot me a bright grin. It was impossible not to smile back.
God, I love that kid.

“Thanks, Dean! I can't wait to show you the finished product. Our science project is gonna be
awesome. Mrs. Tran gave us a bunch of tips. She's surprisingly cool. You'd like her.” Sam
exclaimed, beaming.

“I'm sure I would, Sammy. I'd be happy to meet her, Kiddo.” I told him, as we got out of the
Impala.

We were walking to the library building, when he waved at a woman that looked so familiar
to me. She was a brunette and smiled, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. I was immediately
suspicious.

“Hi Ava!” Sam greeted her. As soon as her name left his mouth, I realized where I knew her
from. She comes to the club a lot. She's always with Ruby. I don't think she's a demon, but
that doesn't mean that she isn't working for one. I don't trust her.

“Hey Sam,” she said in a sugary sweet voice. She reached out and ruffled his hair and
wrapped her arms around him for a hug. I moved closer to them and wrapped my fingers
around the handle of the dagger.

“Sammy, I forgot something in the Impala that I wanted to give to you. Why don't you come
with me, so I can give it to you? It'll help you with your project.” I told him, in a light, firm
tone.

He pivoted, so he could see me. He must have noticed the hard look on my face. He
immediately nodded in agreement. He stepped away from Ava, but she gripped his arm and
yanked him back to her.

“That's a big mistake. I'd reconsider, if I were you. You think that Ruby can protect you?” I
growled. Ava just laughed. Sam didn't do or say anything. He was assessing the situation.

“I know she will. And you won't do anything here. You can't hurt a human in public. You
don't have the balls. I'll tell you how things are going to happen here. I'm going to take Sam
and you're going to do exactly what we say, if you want your little brother to stay alive.
“You don't get to make demands, right now. This wouldn't even be happening, if you just
knew your place. You can't just disrespect Azazel and expect to go scot free. This is a lesson
and I suggest you learn it, before we have to hurt your precious brother.” Ava sneered.

Sam was watching me, clearly waiting for direction. I knew that Azazel was stupid, but I
didn't know that he was this stupid. I just killed someone for threatening Sam. And he thinks
that I'm just going to accept this and take it lying down? What a fuckin' idiot. Rage and
hatred filled my body. If he wants me to fight dirty, then I fucking will. Who am I to deny a
lesson to entitled men?

“Poughkeepsie,” I said clearly. Ava looked confused, but I knew that Sam knew what I
needed him to do. We had planned it enough.

“What?” Ava asked, as Sam dropped all of his body weight to the ground, efficiently yanking
his arm out of her hold.

Once he was free, and I had a clear shot, I threw the dagger and it landed in her skull, right
between her eyes. She fell to the ground with a shocked looking face. I walked over and
retrieved it. I saw her lifeless eyes and grimaced.

I didn't want things to escalate this quickly, but it's looking like I don't have a choice. I'll have
to stash Sammy now, and ask Lucifer for help. I needed to get in touch with Lilith and find
out where she was with tracking down Cain. Fuck.

I rubbed the ring that Rowena gave me. I waited a second, and immediately felt the hair on
my neck stand up. I reached out and grabbed Sam. We're still in danger. He's still a target. We
walked quickly away from the desolate building.

I was suddenly grateful that he wanted to get to school so early, and that the school was too
pour to invest in security cameras. The last thing we need is witnesses. I have no idea how I
would even begin to explain that. I slipped the dagger back in it's holster, as we walked.

Someone else was approaching us. A petite brunette that had wild, crazy eyes. Her eyes
narrowed, like she already knew that something had happened to her partner in crime.

“Oh, you're Sam, right? Did you happen to see Ava? She was looking for you.” The mystery
woman asked, in a forced sugary sweet voice.

“Who the fuck are you?” I asked her, ignoring her question. She dropped her smile and
sneered at me.

“I'm Becky. I think you know why I'm here. We tried to do this the easy way, but it looks like
we’ll have to do this the hard way.” She announced. She pulled a knife out from behind her.
Jesus fucking christ. Can we at least catching a friggin' break? Fuck.

“You and what army? You're here, because Ruby and Azazel are too big of pussies to do it
themselves. They sent you two? What are you supposed to do? Make me shake in my boots?
You think I'm just going to stand idly by and let you kidnap my brother? Are you that fucking
stupid?” I pressed. She stepped closer and I reached to my side and grabbed the handle of my
gun.

“If you knew what was good for you, you would.” She replied, flippantly.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I don't know how good she is with that knife, but
something tells me that she's not as good at throwing it, as I am, and she's not within striking
distance. She's not prepared enough. Sucks for her, but it's gravy for me.

I pulled out my gun, turned off the safety, and shot once. I got her between the eyes and she
fell to the ground. I let go of Sam, so I could kick the blade away from her. I put my gun
away and turned, scanning the perimeter. I couldn't see anyone else in eyesight, but that didn't
mean that there wasn't anyone there.

I knew that Rowena and Crowley would come, when they could, but I didn't know if I could
wait that long. I bit my lip and an idea popped in my head. I had no idea if it would work, but
it couldn't hurt to try it. I don't have anything to lose.

“Lucifer, I need you.” I said loudly, and clearly. He's an angel, even if he has fallen. That
means he can hear me when I call, and hear prayers, right? God, I hope so.

“Dean,” a deep voice said from behind me. Sam jumped and I put an arm around him.

“Hey, I'm sorry for calling you like this. This was Azazel's doing. He was behind
orchestrating the attack. Is there any way that you can get rid of these bodies for me? I know
that it's a big ask. I don't know what else to do. I have to get Sammy out of here. He's a
target.” I explained as quickly as I could. Lucifer peered at us both and nodded.

“Of course, I can. I've been chasing down a lead for something that will smite Gadreel. It's
been harder than I would have liked to get my hands on an angel blade. Lilith is getting close.
I'm sure that she will send for you soon. Everything is coming together, Kiddo. It'll be over
soon. Things are coming to a head, much faster than I anticipated.

“Go take Sam somewhere safe. I'll take care of things here. Call Crowley. We'll talk soon.
You know how to reach me.” Lucifer agreed. I let out a shaky breath of relief. I sagged as the
worry and tension left my body.

“Thanks, Luci. You're the best.” I murmured, as I crushed him with a quick hug. He dropped
a kiss on the top of my head, before I ushered Sam into the car. I hopped into the driver's seat
and then we were off.

“What the hell was that?” Sam demanded.

“There's a power play, right now. Unfortunately, they've put me in the middle. You're the only
leverage they have over me. I don't understand why they've made me so important, but they
have. Rowena, my witch friend, is coming over today to add more wards to the house.

“They won't be able to touch you there. Unfortunately, that means that you're gonna be stuck
there for a little while. I'd rather you be stir crazy, than dead. I'm sorry Sammy. I promise you
that I'm fixing this.” I gave him as much information as I could.

“It's okay, Dean. I love you. You're doing all that you can. I know that. You don't have to be
sorry.” He reassured me.

“You're the best, Kiddo. I love you, too.” I promised him. He gave me a tentative smile. I
knew that the effects of the morning hadn't hit either one of us yet.

“Call your friend.” He reminded me. I nodded and pulled out my phone. Well, there's never a
dull day here.

It didn't take long for us to add wards to the house. Ellen called Sam's school and let them
know that he wouldn't be in for at least a week. I didn't even ask what excuse she gave them.
It's just nice to have the help, and to not have to do every single thing myself, honestly.

Ellen made a big brunch and forced us both to eat. I would be joining Lilith later that night,
but first, I needed to sleep. I was still so exhausted and everything was starting to hit me.
Sammy and I snuggled up in the guest bedroom. I felt better knowing he was safe and within
eyesight. I felt content, even if it was just for the moment. Tonight would bring more
unknowns, but at least things are okay, right this second. I closed my eyes and let myself drift
off to sleep.

‘Callin’ out sins just to pass the time.

My life goes by in the blink of an eye.
I know you want me.
I was only looking for a friend, and everything I was,
And everything that I've become, just falls into the end and…

Now I'm lost somewhere.’

 Hell on Heels
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Hell on Heels" -- Pistol Annies

‘I'm hell on heels, say what you will.

I done made the devil a deal.
He made me pretty, he made me smart, and I'm gonna break a million hearts.
I'm hell on heels.
Baby, I'm comin' for you.’

Chapter Twenty-Four:

Rowena had called me and asked me to meet her at Inferno, but got called away. Azazel had
been busy. He's had his lackeys causing trouble all over Lawrence. I didn't know his end goal.
He wouldn't be getting Sammy.

I walked into the club with Jimmy. He had picked me up. We were given strict orders to not
go anywhere alone. I would be meeting Lilith, as soon as I was done here. Ro had some kind
of talisman for protection that she wanted to give me first. I definitely wouldn't be
complaining about added protection.

I felt uneasy, as we walked further into the empty club. It was warded, but not as much as my
place or The Roadhouse or Bobby's. It couldn't, since demons frequented the establishment.
Something clattered towards the back of the club and I pulled out my knife, as I walked
towards the noise. Jimmy flanked me, as we walked slowly, taking care of our surroundings.

“Dean,” I heard a sing-song voice call out my name. Chills shot down my back. I knew that
this wasn't good.

We didn't know who we were facing, or if we were going to be outnumbered. We're humans.
That automatically puts us at a disadvantage. I hope that Rowena and Crowley don't take long
to get here. I have a bad, bad feeling about this.
As I stepped into the backroom, I saw Ruby waiting for me. I heard groaning from behind me
and I saw Jimmy disappear out of eyesight. Shit. Ruby had an evil, ugly glint in her eyes. I
didn't like it. I never really had a bone to pick with her, but clearly she was ready and willing
to do her father's bidding. Typical.

“It wasn't very nice of you to kill my friends, Dean. Didn't they ever teach you that killing is
wrong? Kids have no manners these days.” Ruby taunted me. I huffed and rolled my eyes at
the annoying blonde.

“You were going to kill my brother, you demon bitch. Pot meet fucking kettle. Spare me the
lecture. It's hypocritical and predictable. Do you have anything other than a boring bone in
your body?” I quipped. Her face became murderous. She really didn't like that. Shocker.

I smelled smoke and I turned to see it start billowing across the club. Fuck.

“Is this predictable?” She asked me, creeping closer. She wasn't scared.

She doesn't know what kind of blade it is. Good. At least I have something going for me. I
didn't wait for her to make another move. I threw the blade and I knew that I’d hit my target.
Her face froze in a look of shock, as the knife flew in between her eyes. I hit her in the skull,
full-on. The knife lit up twice and I saw her life fade away. I'll be damned, it actually worked.

“Dean!” Jimmy yelled from somewhere in the smoky club. I turned to try and pinpoint where
he was, just to be hit with something. I fell backwards and couldn't catch my breath. It's so
heavy. I grunted, as everything went black.

I woke up coughing. I opened my eyes and felt light-headed. I was laying next to Jimmy.
Crowley was shouting into his phone. Rowena was fussing over us.

“I got Ruby.” I huffed. She gave me a small smile. “Was Azazel there?” I asked.

“I don't think so, Dearie. That way he has plausible deniability. I'm positive that he was
behind all of the attacks. Your blade is unrecoverable, I'm afraid. We got the two of you out,
but there was serious damage to the club. I have the talisman for you. When you find Cain,
he has something called The First Blade. It'll kill any demon. Get it. You'll need it against
Alastair.

“Lucifer is going to take you to Lilith. He can't take you to Cain, but he'll get you to her. Cain
has wards keeping everything else out. Lilith will take you as far as she can, but you'll have
to finish the journey alone. You're strong, Dean. I know that you can do it. I have faith in you.
We both do.” Rowena gave me the run down.
Everyone seemed to pick up on the fact that I wasn't up for any type of conversation. I was so
beyond drained. My body and my soul were tired. I was tired in a way that I wasn't sure that I
had ever been before. Life keeps kicking me harder and harder, when I'm already down. I
can't catch a break. I just hope that I'm strong enough to do what I have to do. There is so
much riding on this – riding on me – to keep Sammy safe. I couldn't lose him.

I trudged along an old dirt road. Lilith parked the car and was waiting dutifully for my return.
I walked purposefully, but slowly. It wasn't really hot or cold here. I was warm enough in my
leggings and a flannel, but I suspect that I'm too disassociated to really feel the weather right
now, anyway.

The road seemed to go on for miles. I spotted some sort of cabin among a throng of trees.
That has to be where he is. I worried my bottom lip, as I tried not to think about worst-case
scenarios. I had no idea what to expect. This was thee Cain. But after meeting Lucifer, I knew
that reputation only meant so much.

I couldn't really do anything else, so I walked. I walked and walked and walked. My feet hurt
and my body hurt. I was ready to collapse and sleep for days. I knew that my fight wasn't
over yet, and I still had a ways to go. I just hoped that this journey, and all of this work was
prove to be worth it. If it wasn't… we didn't have any other options.

I knocked on the cabin door and felt stupid for not knowing what to say, when I did meet this
man. Cain had gone out of his way to not be found and to enjoy his isolation. Whether I had a
good reason or not, I was interrupting his peace, and that had me feeling guilty. I just hoped
that he wouldn't be too angry with me for it.

The door opened and I came face to face with a tired looking man. He was striking, with a
sharp jaw, a greying beard, and blue eyes. He didn't look surprised to see me, but I got the
feeling that he was used to concealing his emotions.

“Um, hey Mr. Cain. I, uh, I'm Deanna Winchester, Dean, actually. I know that you don't want
to be bothered, and I'm sorry about that. I know that you don't know me and you don't have a
reason to help me, but I need your help. I need The First Blade.

“I promise to bring it back to you, once Azazel and Alastair are gone. I know that it won't
work on angels. I'm unfortunately in the middle of a mess with some demons having a dick
measuring contest and my brother's life is at stake. I'd do anything for that kid.” I rambled.
Cain blinked and stepped aside.

“Dean, why don't you come in?” Cain offered. I nodded, and stepped into the cabin. It was
homey.
“I can give you the blade, but I don't think you understand what you're asking of me.” He told
me. I bit my lip and mulled over his words.

“What do you mean?” I asked. He unbuttoned his flannel shirt and took it off, leaving his
sleeveless undershirt. He had a mark that looked like a strange looking F, on his shoulder.

“To wield the blade, you must bear the mark of Cain. You'll be stronger, but it will eat at your
humanity. Eventually, you will turn into a demon. It's imperative that whatever your goal, that
you accomplish it quickly. The longer you have possession of the blade, the more toll it will
take on your soul.” He explained. I nodded, with a sigh.

“I'll do whatever I have to do.” I promised him. I sighed, as exhaustion filled my body. He
looked at me, sympathetically.

“Would you like to sit and have some coffee, before you go?” He offered. I looked up at him,
in surprise. I nodded.

“That would be great, thank you. It's been such a long freaking day. When all of this is over,
I'm taking a vacation. So far, being sixteen sucks.” I tried to joke. I slumped into a chair at his
kitchen table. He bustled around the kitchen starting to brew coffee.

“You're so young. Who's looking out for you, Dean?” Cain asked me. I shrugged.

“I have some people on my side. It just seems like all the heavy lifting is falling on me. I had
a knife that could also gank demons, but I got knocked out and it burned with the demon's
body. I'm getting really tired of people trying to kill me and my brother.” I admitted.

“I can imagine.” He mused, as he brought two steaming mugs to the table. He took the seat
opposite of me.

“If you ever need somewhere that you can find peace, my doors are open to you. Your
brother is lucky to have you. I don't know how much good my advice would do, but if you
ever need it, you have it.” He offered.

“That's really kind of you, Cain. Thank you, seriously, I mean it. Um, is there anything that
you don't have, that I can bring you, when I bring the blade back to you?” I asked him. He
gave me a gentle smile, like he wasn't expecting me to prioritize him.

“Not that I can think of, but I appreciate it. Thank you, Sweet One.” He politely declined.

“Well, I do make a mean pie. I’ll bring you one, when I come back. That sound okay?” I
asked him. His smile returned, this time a big wider, than before.

“That sounds wonderful.”

When I reached Lilith, it felt like my trip to her went by much quicker than the walk to the
cabin. She smiled when I reached her. I got in the car and she drove for a while, before we
stowed the car away and she used her powers to transport us back to the club.

I was too tired to say much or offer much explanation. I gave them a recap of what happened
and how Cain was. I showed Crowley the blade and he looked impressed. Rowena performed
the same spell that she had placed on the other blade. It made it invisible to everyone but me.
I knew better than to be skeptical of the knife made of bone.

There was a lot of fire damage done to the club, but they were already tearing away the
damage and working on rebuilding it. I don't know exactly how much differently time passed
where Cain was, but I know that I was gone for a few days.

Once I touched base with Cas and Benny, I went back to Bobby’s. I gave Sam a long hug,
before showering and excusing myself to hibernate for a few days.

Things were starting to come together. It would be sooner than later, that I would face
Alastair and Azazel. I hoped that Lucifer was closing in on an angel blade. Gadreel was an
unknown variable that I couldn't afford to not meet head on. The time to confront them was
coming and I was ready to meet ‘em.

I groaned, as I sank into the bed in the guest room. I sighed in relief. I'm so comfortable. I
cursed, as my phone started to go off. I refused to open my eyes, as I blindly answered the
call.

“What?” I snapped into the receiver.

“Dean? I need to see you.” My father told me.

“Fuck. Why?”

‘This diamond ring on my hand's the only good thing that came from that man.
Got a GTO from one named Joe, and a big piece of land down in Mexico.
I'm hell on heels.
Baby, I'm comin' for you…

I'm hell on heels, say what you will.

I don’t made the devil a deal.
He made me pretty, he made me smart, and I'm gonna break me a million hearts.
I'm hell on heels.
Baby, I'm comin' for you.’
 One for the Money
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit: "One for the Money" -- Arankai

‘Am I good enough?

Am I what you want?
Three cheers for disenchantment, a pauper's grave for dead romantic.
You wouldn't notice, but look closer, you'll see.
I wear a crooked smile, through gritted teeth.

No, I'm not the one to blame.

Villains aren't born, they're made.
Missing pieces of ourselves, that we lost, but had to sell.
Just good monsters, but it's one for the money, and two for the martyr…’

Chapter Twenty-Five:

“Dean, will you quit being a little shit for two fucking seconds, and be serious?!” Dad
snapped at me. I sighed into the receiver of my cell phone.

“What do you want?!” I seethed. He didn't sound drunk or hungover. That's a first.

“You killed Ruby. Everyone is talking about it.” Dad said, instead of answering my question.

“Yeah, and?” I pressed, as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Word really must get around fast.

“Ole Yellow Eyes isn't happy.” Dad mused. I huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, well, he can get in line. No one is ever happy with me. She made the first move. She
sent two of her lackeys after Sam, while he was at school. We got lucky that I was with him
and took them out. Otherwise, he'd probably be dead. When they couldn't get him, Ruby
attacked me at the club. So you called to tell me that Azazel would be after me? Yeah, thanks.
I figured that out for myself, actually.” I replied.
“He was tied to your mother’s death, Dean. I haven't been in a place that I could do anything
about it, but his obsession with our family is older than you, Kid.” Dad told me, fondly.

“I swear to god, if you're dicking me around, I will shoot you, myself.” I warned him.

“No lies this time, Kiddo.” Dad promised me. I cursed under my breath.

“Why are you telling me this now? I can't afford to pick a fight with anyone else, right now.
Right now, I'm already up against so much.” I groaned. He sighed.

“Yeah, I know that. And I know that physically, I wouldn't be a help. But Bobby and I have
friends coming to help. It's as much of a cavalry as we can get. Don't tell me anything. It’s
not safe to. I just wanted to warn you and tell you that I'm proud of you, Boy. I'll be in
touch.”

“Dude, what the fuck? Hell's bells.”

I sought Bobby out, when I was able to finally drag myself out of bed. He had confirmed
what Dad had told me. What he could, anyway. There still was no telling if Dad was telling
the truth or not. I had to take everything that he told me with more than a grain of salt. He's
not known for his honesty or openness.

Bobby had been able to tell me that Crowley had asked him to look for an angel blade and
that his friend and her partner were able to locate one, and that they were bringing it in. That
made me feel better.

I wanted to gank Gadreel first. He's the biggest threat, as far as I'm concerned. From the
sounds of it, Crowley and Lucifer agreed with me. He's the least predictable and he's
basically super powered. I couldn't take any chances… But until Jody and Donna get here, I
have to play along and bide my time.

And boy, did I have a bad feeling about how things would go in the meantime.

Speaking of the devil – or in this case, angel – Gadreel texted me to let me know that he
demanded my presence that evening. I didn't want to go, but I couldn't afford not to. Going
would help me avoid suspicion and give them less reason to suspect that I'm up to something
and for Sammy's sake, that's what I'll do.

I was in another skimpy white number, since that seems to be the only color that Gadreel ever
wants to see me in. I don't know if it's because he wants to mock how pure he thinks I am, or
how debauched he makes me, or what.

Either way, I was in a short white dress; white, lace wedges; a sheer pair of white panties; a
white lace pushup bra; the white leather kitten accessories that he seems to favor me in; my
gloves; and a dagger and the First Blade in a leather knife holster spelled to be invisible on
my thigh. Rowena already spelled the Mark of Cain to stay hidden on my arm.

I threw on Cas' old trench coat, before I left Bobby and Ellen’s place. I didn't want to see
their reactions to what I had to wear. My hair was in a high ponytail and my face was made
up. I just hoped that tonight wouldn't be too brutal and that I'd be able to disassociate through
it, comfortably.

As soon as I stepped foot into the club, I saw Cas and Meg looking around, like they were
trying to find me. My brow furrowed, and as soon as I noticed them, they seemed to notice
me. I shook my head, frantically, trying to get them to abort mission. I didn't want them here.
I didn't want them to see me like this or to see whatever I'd have to do.

They didn't seem to get the message. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, and felt very
naked, despite being relatively covered. I had left Cas' coat in the Impala. I knew that I
wouldn't be permitted to wear it with Gadreel, anyway. I'm just thankful that he permitted me
to wear panties tonight. He's not usually so kind.

“Why are you here?” I hissed, once they were close enough to be in earshot. Meg and Cas
both looked taken aback by my tone.

“Are you feeling okay, Cupcake? You texted me and Clarence, asking us to come.” Meg
replied, before Cas could. I just shook my head, again.

“No, I really didn't. I'm meeting Gadreel here. It's one of his nights with me. You can't be
here. You have to leave. Now. I don't know who messaged you, but it definitely wasn't me,
okay? You gotta go!” I explained as quickly as I could, trying to get them to leave, with a
serious sense of urgency. Still, they didn't move. I hissed, again.

“Are you deaf?! You have to leave!” I snapped. Cas nodded once and grabbed Meg's arm.
They didn't get far. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I cursed under my breath.
It's already too late.

“Now, now, Kitten. Is that any way to treat your friends? I invited them here tonight, after all.
It's not very kind of you to dismiss them, before we're able to have any fun.” Gadreel
drawled.

My eyes went wide and I knew exactly how terrified I looked, but I couldn't seem to mask it.
Cas' and Meg's faces both hardened, both unsure of what to say, or how to approach the
situation.
“Why are they here, G?” I asked, instead. His lips curled and curved into a cruel smile and I
shuddered. I wasn't going to enjoy this. That much was clear.

“For my enjoyment, Little Girl. The same reason that you're here. Is that any way to greet
your Daddy, Dean? Come give me a kiss, and then I want you on your knees, Kitten. I
already have your leash ready.” He explained, finding humor in our discomfort.

I nodded, and pecked him hello, quickly on his lips. He seemed to have a different idea of the
kiss. He gripped the back of my head and my backside and kept me plastered to him. He
pushed his tongue into my mouth and made a show of ownership.

When I was able to pull away, he gripped my collar and fastened the leash onto it. He didn't
wait for me to move, just shoved my shoulders, until I crashed to my knees. I cried out, but
knew better, than to complain. I kept my eyes trained on the floor.

“Good girl, Kitten.” He purred. He reached down and offered me his fingers. I nuzzled them
and looked up at him, warily, trying to figure out his game. He just smirked. He pressed two
fingers to my lips and kept pushing. I opened my mouth.

“Suck,” he ordered. I did as he asked. He grinned and moved his hand away from me.

“Do you want to crawl, or do you want me to carry you?” He asked, leaving the choice up to
me.

“Please carry me,” I whispered. I tried to ignore my face burning with embarrassment, still
very aware of our audience.

“What was that?” He asked, not hearing what he wanted to hear. I worried my bottom lip,
before swallowing what little was left of my pride.

“Please carry me, Daddy,” I said, a little louder. He nodded and offered me his hand. He
helped me to my feet, and picked me up.

He had me in a bridal carry, as he sauntered over to the VIP section, that he seems to favor.
As soon as we were there, Jimmy seemed to materialize with drinks for us both. I whispered
a thank you, and drained my glass. Jimmy took my empty glass and kindly placed it with
another vodka soda that he had had ready.

Gadreel got comfortable in one of the chairs and he motioned for me to kneel at his feet. I did
just that. I didn't know who he wanted to meet tonight or what business they had to discuss,
but I had a feeling that it would be a long night. I purposely trained my eyes on the floor and
avoided trying to seek out my friends.

Gadreel held my glass and motioned for me to drink it. I slipped the straw into my mouth and
sucked down the offered liquid. He murmured praises and pet the top of my head. Once the
glass was empty, he took it back, and let me nuzzle his hand.

“Is that who I think it is, Gadreel?” A deep voice mused from behind me. I flinched, in
surprise. Gadreel tutted and continued to pet me.
“Jake Talley, there you are. This is Dean, if that's what you were asking.” Gadreel told him.

I tried to think of any Jakes that I knew and came up empty. Who is he? Once he sat down, I
let my eyes rake over his appearance. I'd never seen him before. I was confident of that much.
I have no idea who he is.

“Azazel hasn't seemed impressed with any of the Winchesters.” Jake replied,
conversationally. I forced myself to not react. Any of us? Does that include Sam? Was Dad
actually right about something?

“Azazel is an idiot who thinks he's far more important than he actually is.” Gadreel shrugged.
“Stand up, Babygirl. Let him see you.” He instructed me. I nodded and did as he asked. He
still gripped the leash, not giving me enough slack to do anything more than to stand and
turn, slowly.

“Gotdamn, you're a pretty little thing. Aren't you? You're a lucky man, Gadreel.” Jake
breathed. I made eye contact with him and stared, feigning boredom.

“Show him how lucky I am, Baby. Turn around, so I can unzip your dress.” Gadreel
commanded. I knew that my face was pink with embarrassment, but I also knew better than
to argue. All I could do, was to hope that Cas and Meg were able to leave, and they weren't
watching what I had to do.

I moved closer to Gadreel and let him slip the dress off of me. He offered me his hand, as he
helped me step out of it. I felt naked, being on display like this, but I'm sure that's what
Gadreel wanted. He loved humiliating me.

“Why don't you sit on his lap, and get more acquainted, Kitten?” Gadreel asked me. I looked
over at him once, before resigning myself to obey.

I straddled Jake's lap, so I was facing him. He wasted no time, in running his hands over my
body. I didn't react. I kept perfectly still. He gripped my hips and thrust his hips upward,
grinding his erection against my center. I looked at the wall behind him.

“Still not impressed with any of the Winchesters, Mr. Talley?” Gadreel asked him, in a soft,
firm voice. He groaned, as he cupped my chest and pawed at my boobs.

“I think I'm starting to see what all the fuss is about. What's it worth to you?” Jake asked him.

“I want to know what Azazel is planning. Her virginity is to stay intact, but she's quite skilled
with her mouth.” Gadreel told him, smirking. I clenched my jaw and fought the urge to cry. I
don't know why I'm surprised.

“Just her mouth? She has quite the ass on her.” Jake pressed. I shivered and immediately
wished that it was just me and Gadreel, again. I didn't like where this was headed.

“Her ass is mine. Her mouth is what I'm offering. You can take it or leave it, after you've told
me what I want to know, and she's done her due diligence, getting me hard and ready to go.”
Gadreel refused to budge and it's something that I never thought that I would be grateful for. I
was shaking and I couldn't stop it.

“I'm not privy to all of his plans. He keeps even me in the dark. He's furious that Dean killed
Ruby. He wants to hit her, where it'll hurt the most.” Jake revealed. This wasn't news. He's
just telling me what I already knew.

“What does he want you to do? What's his end goal?” Gadreel pressed. Jake just shrugged.

“I don't know if he actually has one now. He wants more power, but I’m not sure that he
knows where to get it. His rage has blinded him. It doesn't help that Lucifer wants nothing to
do with him. He expected to be rewarded for his devotion, but instead, he's been ridiculed. I
think he's annoyed Lucifer, more than anything else. It doesn't help that neither Lilith or
Abaddon can't stand Azazel.” Jake admitted. I snorted at that, because that's exactly how
Lucifer feels, and I can't blame him. Yellow Eyes is fucking annoying.

I turned to face Gadreel and one look at his face told me that we both felt the same way about
Azazel. He smirked at me and then turned his attention back on Jake. Jake was still
shamelessly grinding against me. I let myself get distracted and I wasn't sure that I could get
myself into the headspace I needed to be in. I didn't want to do any of this, but that didn't
matter. The thought of having witnesses to having to blow a stranger and having Gadreel rape
me fucking terrified me.

“I suppose that's answer enough. I'll think on how to handle Azazel. I can't have him targeting
my favorite pet, now can I?” Gadreel teased me. I flushed, and filled with uncertainty. I didn't
know what to do or how to react.

“Come here, Baby. Come give Daddy a kiss.” Gadreel ordered me. I gave him a stiff nod and
tried to get off of Jake's lap, but his fingers were digging into my skin so hard, that his nails
had broken skin.

“Let her go, or you'll get nothing, and be happy with that.” Gadreel growled. Jake let go of
me, ruefully.

I stood up on shaky legs and Jimmy reappeared, with another drink for me. It looked like he
had shots for us, too. He probably knows that the only way that I'll get through this, is if I'm
plastered. He's not wrong. He gave a shot to Gadreel and one to Jake. That left two for me
and my drink. I made quick work on throwing back both shots and sucking my drink down. I
hadn't eaten, but I wasn't going to not accept what little vices I could, to get through this
shitty night.

I sauntered over to Gadreel and sank gratefully onto his lap. I gripped his shoulders tightly
and touched my forehead to his, trying to ground myself a bit. His hand gripped my jaw and
he forced my mouth to his. I didn't fight him on the kiss. I knew that it would soon be so
much worse.

I sat on his lap, completely compliant, as he plundered my mouth with his. He moved his
hand to my stomach, before slipping it into my panties. I gasped, as his fingertips grazed my
clit. He made slow circles, successfully making me wet. It didn't matter if I wanted this or
not. He knew how to play my body against me. He slid two fingers inside of my heat and
dragged his mouth to my ear.

“One day soon, I'm going to take you here, and you're going to love it, Dean. Sadly, I'll have
to settle for your mouth and your ass, today. Don't think that I can't feel how wet you are. Get
on your knees for me, and get my cock hard and ready to take you.” He ordered.

I stiffened and shook my head, before I could stop myself. My head was swimming and I was
panicking. He ripped his hand from my panties and whipped his hand across my face,
slapping me, hard. I cried out and he slapped me again, before shoving me backwards. My
back hit the hard club floor. I looked up at him, unable to focus my vision, feeling incredibly
dizzy.

“This isn't a choice, Dean. You're mine. Get up on your fucking knees, or this is going to be a
lot worse for you.” Gadreel seethed. Tears burned their way down my face. I slowly got to
my knees, but didn't move any closer to him.

“Please, can we just go to the back? I'll do whatever you want. You know that.” I begged, as I
cried, openly. This is what I've been reduced to. A sniveling, pathetic whore.

“You'll do anything that I tell you to. You're my property. Did you think that you had a choice
in the matter?” Gadreel asked cruelly. He lunged forward and yanked my hair.

He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and freed his manhood. I squeezed my eyes shut and
tried to shut everything out. He forced my face down and started to ruthlessly fuck my face. I
gripped his thighs, and tried to just take it.

I disassociated, until he was done, and he finally let me breath. My vision was spotty and I
had spit all over my face. He tucked himself back into his pants and stood up. He gripped my
upper arm and strode for the backroom and dragged me along with him. When I wasn't
moving fast enough, he turned and hit me hard enough to make my knees buckle. I spit out a
mouthful of blood, as he picked me up and carried me the rest of the way.

Jake was right behind us. He closed the door behind us, loudly. Gadreel pushed me into the
couch in the empty lounge area. He pushed me over the arm of the couch, keeping me on my
feet, before ripping my underwear away. I was shaking. I heard the pop of something open
and then felt slick fingers on my ass.

Jake was quick to drop his pants and to hurry onto the couch in front of me. He fisted himself
and then shoved himself towards my face. When I didn't react quick enough, Gadreel yanked
my hair, forcing me to open my mouth. I tried to think about anything else. Gadreel forced
himself inside of me, as Jake began to fuck my mouth. I cried and shook and took it, because
I couldn't do anything else. I knew that as soon as I was able, that Jake would die, just like
Yellow Eyes.

It felt like forever, before they both pulled away from me. I collapsed against the couch, all
out of strength. Everything ached. I just wanted to die, but I knew that that was not an option.

“I can't wait to take your mouth, again.” Jake moaned, as he straightened his clothes.
“I'm Gadreel's. I'm not yours.” I spat. Before Jake could react, Gadreel laughed, low and
loud.

“She's right. What just happened is something that will never happen again. Don't get used to
it.” Gadreel sneered.

He yanked on the leash and dragged me to my feet. I cried out, and shivered. My legs still
wouldn't support me, without wobbling dangerously. Even my bra had been ripped apart,
during their escapades. I was completely naked, bleeding, and covered in semen. I managed
to grab an old wool blanket off of the couch and wrap it around myself, to keep some
semblance of modesty.

“Take off your shoes.” Gadreel ordered me, before he pulled me back to the main floor of the
club.

The music was loud and I felt nauseous. He found Cas and Meg quickly. They saw us, saw
me, and were horrified. I didn't blame them. This is something that I never wanted them to
have to see. It's just one more thing that I failed at.

“Good work tonight, Kitten. You can go home with your little friends.” He dismissed me.

I tightened the blanket around me and numbly walked towards the door to the club. I knew
that Cas and Meg would be trailing behind me. I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go to
Bobby and Ellen's like this. Meg unlocked the Impala and grabbed my bag, before ushering
me into Cas’ car. I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't know if I could face them, after they
saw me like this.

I cried, quietly, as they drove me home. No one said anything. Cas played Led Zeppelin
softly, as we drove. When we parked, I stumbled out of the car.

“Go get cleaned up, then we'll get something to eat. I'll give Benny a head's up.” Meg told
me. I nodded and stumbled up the stairs. I was in a daze, as I ripped all of my accessories off
and got into the shower. I hissed under the cold water, not even waiting for the water to
adjust.

I sobbed, as I sank to my knees, as the water got hot. I went through the motions, getting
clean, as I sat in the shower. Once I was clean, I laid in the fetal position. I cried and cried,
and made no effort to move. I couldn't.

Eventually, the water was turned of. I was vaguely aware of Cas talking to me and drying me
off. He helped me to my feet and I walked to the bathroom vanity and immediately gurgled as
much mouthwash as I could fit in my mouth. I rinsed four times, before I ever brushed my
teeth. I didn't want that taste to linger in my mouth.

He helped me pull on underwear, a thick pair of sweatpants, a tank top, and a thick
sweatshirt, forgoing my usual flannel. He put on a thick pair of socks on my feet, and helped
me step into my slippers. He wrapped his arms around me, and held me for a long few
minutes. I hugged him back, but my voice caught in my throat. I didn't seem capable of
saying anything, even that I was so grateful for him.
We made our way downstairs and Benny hugged me. I didn't say anything, just sank into the
booth that Meg had commandeered. I pulled my knees to my chest and leaned my face
against my kneecaps. Benny sat some hot coffee in front of me and I just looked at it. Soon, I
had a plate full of food, and I didn't know how I was going to be able to stomach eating
anything.

Eventually, with some coaxing, I got a few bites down, and drained my mug of coffee. Benny
sent us upstairs with some leftovers. Meg and Cas climbed into bed with me. I burrowed in
between them, and laid there quietly, listening to the sounds of our breathing.

Try as I might, I didn't know how I'd be able to survive this.

‘They'll get a taste for blood, soon enough.

It's second nature.
No place for innocence here.
It's the same game, different players, liars and betrayers.
Wolves can't change their skin.
What's eating you, is feeding them…

So, if I'm the villain of the story,

Be sure that you tell them what chapter you made me…

It's one for the money, and two for the martyr…’
 Take What You Want
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Take What You Want" -- Post Malone featuring Ozzy
Osbourne & Travis Scott

‘I feel you crumble in my arms, down to your heart of stone.

You bled me dry, just like the tears you never show.
Why don't you take what you want from me?
Take what you want and go.
Why don't you take what you want from me?
Take what you want and go.

I never needed anything from you, and all I ever asked, was for the truth…
You showed your tongue and it was forked in two.
Your venom was lethal; I almost believed you…
Yeah, you preyed on my every mistake.
Waited on me to break, held me under, hopin' I would drown.
Like a plague, I was wasting away, tryna find my way out.
Find my way out…’

Chapter Twenty-Six:

I jolted awake and tried to pinpoint what scared me. I rapidly tried to make sense of my
dreams and why I knew in my bones, that something was seriously wrong. I dreamt that
Sammy had come here, to my apartment. He knocked on the front door and called out my
name, but when I opened the door, all that was there, was smoke. Something deep inside of
me told me that Gadreel was responsible. I clambered out of bed and over Meg and Cas.

I was calling Sam, praying that I was wrong, but somehow I knew that I wasn't. I knew that
he wouldn't answer. I cursed and shimmied out of my clothes and into something I could
move easier in. I dialed Bobby instead and was greeted by his gruff voice.
Meg and Cas both sat up, as I fumbled around the small apartment.

“Dean, it's Sam.” Bobby said.

“Fuck. It's Gadreel. How did he get him? I had a dream that he came here and when I opened
the door, he was gone. Somehow, I just knew that Gadreel was behind it. I thought Sammy
was under lock and key. Gadreel shouldn't have been able to break through the wards.” I
hissed, as I threw my hair up in a bun, so it was out of my face.

I pulled on leggings and a sports bra. I pulled on a snug Henley, and my gun holster. I
buckled it around my ribcage, so it couldn't be pulled off. I slid my gun inside, along with my
backup piece. It wouldn't do shit against the supernatural, but if any humans were helping,
they'd be toast. I buckled my knife holster to my thigh and tucked my dagger inside, along
with the First Blade. I pulled on a thick pair of socks and yanked on my combat boots. I put
on my gloves and tucked a flask full of holy water into my bag.

“He snuck out to see you. You didn't come home and he was worried. I didn't know the idgit
left, until it was too late. Jody is twenty minutes out Dean. We'll get him back.” He told me. I
sighed and tried to come up with a game plan.

“There isn't a ‘we,’ Bobby. I can't risk you guys. If I don't make it, y'all are it. You have to
stay safe. It has to be me. No one else will get close enough. If I can take out Gadreel, then
Alastair and Azazel will be next. It has to be me or Lucifer for the angel.” I grunted. Bobby
sighed and cursed. He wasn't happy about it, but he knew that I was right.

“I'm coming. Okay? Sit tight. I'll be there as soon as I can.” I told him, as I pulled on my
leather jacket.

“Let us help.” Meg begged. I shook my head.

“I can't.” I refused.

“Cupcake, I can help with Alastair.” She wasn't budging, so I nodded. I was grateful that
someone had brought my car back, at some point.

“I'm coming, too, Honey.” Cas told me. I didn't even try to argue.

“Okay, but I can't wait.” I replied. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him as deep a
kiss as I could muster. I pecked Meg, and then I was out the door.

I knew that they would follow me. I was speeding along and at Bobby's, before long. I knew I
looked like hell, but that didn't matter. The door was unlocked, so I didn't bother knocking,
before going inside. I saw two women I didn't know and I knew they must be the two hunters
that he had told me about. The kitchen was littered with weapons. They were preparing for a
throw-down.

“I'm so sorry, Kid.” Ellen apologized, before Bobby could. She wrapped me in a hug, and I
gave her a squeeze, before pulling back.
“It's not your fault. He's a kid. I don't blame him. His timing just sucks.” I sighed. I was
limping a little, courtesy of Gadreel last night. “Thank you, for coming, and for bringing that.
Demons, I can gank, but angels are a whole different story.” I told Jody and Donna.

“I get it. I hope this works. We can help, once he's out of the way.” Jody said, handing me the
long silver blade.

“I don't know how many are loyal to them. I'll text, or send word, as soon as I can, once he's
gone. Meg and Cas are coming. I couldn't talk them out of it. I need to call Lucifer. We need
to take out the big players first, if we can. Alastair has more juice than Azazel, but Azazel is a
slimy fuck. He has this human, who likes to drink demon blood. I'm assuming it gives him
demon-like abilities.

“Only attack any others, if they attack you. Crowley and Rowena are on our side, so are
Lilith and Lucifer. Abaddon hasn't threatened us, and I don't know that she'll even get
involved. Dad is a wildcard. I don't trust him to help or to not turn against us. I wouldn't tell
him anything, if you can avoid it. I told him that if he betrayed us in this, that I would kill
him, and I meant it.” I rattled off, as Meg and Cas made their way inside.

“I killed three people last week. I have no qualms adding to it. I need to call Lucifer and have
him on standby. I'll see you soon.” I added, before rushing out.

“Dean,” Lucifer said, picking up after the first ring.

“Are you ready? It's going down right now. Gadreel took Sam and I have an angel blade. Can
you be waiting out of sight?” I asked him, as I got into the Impala. My phone buzzed with an
incoming text message.

To Dean:
‘Dean, meet me at Inferno now. Your brother and I are waiting impatiently to see you. You
shouldn't keep me waiting.
-Gadreel'

I cursed and sent him a quick reply.

To Gadreel:
‘On my way.
-Dean'

“I'll be there. Stay safe. Fight smart. I'll see you soon.” Lucifer promised.

“They're at Inferno.” I told him, before he ended the call.

It didn't take long to get there. I called Rowena and explained the situation. She and Crowley
were waiting for me outside. I was so fucking nervous, but filled with enough rage to steady
myself. I got out of the Impala and held tightly onto the blade.

“Hello, Darling. We're here to help, however we can.” Crowley promised. I nodded and tried
to swallow the lump in my throat.

“Please, don't put yourselves at risk, more than you have to.” I pleaded with them. Rowena
pulled me into a tight embrace.

“Don't worry about us, Dearie. We can hold our own. You're not alone in this. I promise you
that.” Rowena vowed. I nodded.

“Thank you. Here goes nothing.” I breathed. Crowley used his power to open the front doors
to the club. Even in a battle of dire proportions, we're nothing if not theatric. He does love to
make an entrance. Who am I do deny him. I just wanna gank this Asshole.

“Dean, I see you brought friends. Pity, I don't remember giving you permission to bring
company.” Gadreel chided me. I sneered at him and kept a tight hold on the angel blade.

“I don't remember asking. You took my brother. You don't get niceties.” I growled. Sam was
standing next to Gadreel's chair.

“Ah, why bring weapons, Kitten? Aren't we on friendly terms?” He asked, with mock
amusement.

“Do you rape everyone that you’re friendly with? Funny way to show it.” I sneered. I kept a
steady pace, as I approached them. “Are you okay, Sam?” I asked him, before he could
answer, Gadreel butt in.

“Of course he's fine.” Gadreel interrupted.

“I didn't fucking ask you.” I grunted. Gadreel's eyes flashed with a warning.

The lights in the club surged and I saw a shadow of gaunt wings, behind him. I narrowed my
eyes and quickly came up with a plan. Planned or not, his wings are exposed. They'll be
where I attack. If I can severe a wing, maybe he'll be distracted enough for me to plunge this
thing into his body. I don't think I have a lot of options. It's not like I had time to sit and plan
the specifics.

“What is it with your generation and being rude?” Gadreel asked, conversationally.

I looked at Sam and moved my gaze to the stage away from the demented angel. He barely
moved his head, but I knew that he understood. I stalked closer, as I heard the door to the
club bang open. I didn't have to turn around to know that Alastair was here.

“Well, now, things just got interesting.” Crowley drawled.

“I'll say.” Lucifer agreed, walking out. Abaddon and Lilith were trailing behind him. Flocks
of demons started filling the club. They were diehards that would die for Alastair and his
cause. We were quickly outnumbered.
“Are you here to do Dean's job for her?” Gadreel snarled, showing his anger, for the first
time.

“She doesn't need me for that. I'm here to make sure that you can't slink away. If anyone
deserves to end your sorry existence, it's her, and I see no reason to prevent that.” Lucifer
said, with a laugh.

“Poughkeepsie,” I said loud enough for Sam to hear me. I needed him out of sight, but I had
no idea how to keep him safe. I shoved my hand in my pocket and sent the text I had drafted
to Bobby, so he knows we need all hands on deck.

“Sam here,” Rowena was suddenly next to him, after he wrenched his body away from the
angels, and she thrust a blade into his hands, so he could defend himself.

Lucifer and I flanked Gadreel. Gadreel snarled and threw his body and me. I hit the ground
hard and fell half on the angel blade. I could worry about my injuries later. Now, I didn't have
the time. I turned enough to get the hand with the blade free. Gadreel moved his body away,
but I could still reach his back. I yanked the blade over his shoulder blades and down over his
back. He cried out and bloody, severed wings appeared around him.

He head-butted me and I felt my nose break. I punched him, momentarily losing my grip on
the weapon. Lucifer was trying to get to us, but Alastair had taken it upon himself to attack
him. I gripped the angel blade and brought it down into his chest. Gadreel let out an inhuman
screech and all the lights blew out. The windows all shattered and he exploded.

The force of the explosion threw my body away from Alastair. He was getting closer to
Lucifer. Lucifer kept his face schooled with nonchalance, but I knew that he still wasn't at full
strength. I need to get the angel blade to him.

I grit my teeth and pushed myself to my feet. Low level demons surrounded me. I started
slicing and kicking what I could. As soon as I would take them out, they just seemed to
multiply. We need to cut the head off of the snake. I just hoped that would be enough.

“Luc!” I shouted. I got his attention and even through the dimly lit club, I knew that he could
see me. I gestured to the blade in my hand. I knew that he needed it and I didn't.

Azazel appeared out of nowhere and started helping Alastair and his mutts close in on
Lucifer. I took as much of a running start as I could, when I saw something shine behind him,
and threw myself toward them. It was enough to get me close enough to him. I knocked
Alastair over, and punched him with my other hand and thrust the blade into Lucifer's grip.
He nodded in thanks, and took down some high-level demon I didn't know.

Alastair growled and climbed on top of me, before grabbing my throat, and holding me well
above the ground. I grit my teeth and fished the First Blade out of my sheath. He didn't have
time to see it coming. I didn't waver. I brought it up, under his chin and into his head. He
flashed with light and I knew he was dead. I fell to the ground.

Lucifer and Azazel had gotten separated and the masses were still pouring in. I didn't see
Sam anywhere. I heard the cavalry come. I didn't have time to stop. We were still so
outnumbered. We fighting for our lives and what a fight it was.

It didn't seem to matter that Gadreel and Alastair were gone. The demons were trying to
avenge at least one of them. I don't know how many bodies I tore into. There didn't seem to
be an end in sight. I tried to keep my ears trained, waiting to hear anything from Sam, but it
was too quiet, other than the sounds of war.

I felt someone grab me from behind, and I knew enough that it wasn't a friendly embrace. I
grabbed the hand and hurled the body in front of me. I saw Jake growling on the ground. He
grabbed my ankle and yanked me down with him. I braced myself and let myself roll, before
I brought the First Blade into his gut. He cried out and started to bleed out. His eyes turned
black, so I brought the blade to his throat, and cut it. He gurgled twice, before the breath left
his body.

“Dean!” I heard Sam scream. I clawed my way to my feet. I moved as fast as I possibly
could, but it didn't seem to be fast enough.

Even though I had heard my brother, he still wasn't in eye sight. I saw someone that looked
suspiciously l our father, from behind. Chills went down my spine. I held the blade tightly in
my left hand and my gun in my right. I can't shoot to kill demons, but humans would be easy.
If Dad's behind this, he won't live to breathe to see another second. I will end him.

“Dean!” I heard my dad call out. I froze and whipped around. Something hit me and I fell.
The floor opened up and I saw Sam struggling with Dad. I grunted and gripped the gun.

“Poughkeepsie!” I shouted. Sam dropped and I shot our father twice. He staggered, and then
fell. Sam scrambled away from him and I let out a small breath of relief. As soon as the
breath left my lips, Dad was back on his feet. What the hell? He laughed and jumped down
into the trap door enclosure with me. His eyes flashed yellow and I forgot how to breath.

I looked around for the First Blade and came up empty. I dropped it, when I fell. Azazel
seemed to knew what I was missing. He crept closer and I felt panic flood my body. I don't
know how I'm going to get out of this. Fuck.

‘And it finally came the day, I start giving my heart away.

For Heaven's sake, my bones will break,
But you'll never own my soul, no…’
 In Between
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "In Between" -- Beartooth

‘Life just sucks, when all you know is the bottom.

It's not your choice, there's no escaping it.
Get up and run as far as you can.
Head to higher ground, while there's a chance to live.

Don't run away, run away, run away…

Run!

Up on the mountains, I see down below.

It's easy to lose yourself, I know.
Can’t hear what you're shouting, I'm deaf to your show.
It's easy to lose your self control.
Everybody gets high, everybody gets low.
Life can be such overdose.
Up on the mountains, I can see down below.
It's easy to lose yourself, I know, in the in-between.’

Chapter Twenty-Seven:

Time seemed to stand still, when I noticed Sam freeze. I could see someone materializing
behind him, but I couldn't see enough to know who it was, or if it was friend or foe.

“Poughkeepsie!” I shouted, hoping that it would give Sam enough warning. I wasn't watching
the demon approaching me. I couldn't. If Sammy wasn't safe, then whatever happened to me,
or whatever threats approached me didn't matter. I wasn't the priority here. I can heal or try to
fight, but I wouldn't ever recover from losing Sam.

To my relief, Sam dropped to the ground and rolled to the side. He lunged upward and drove
the weapon that Rowena had given him into the threat above him. I heard a loud snarl and
Sam ducked out of the way, just in time, to avoid being tackled by whoever's lifeless body.

“Find someone on our side. I'll be fine here, Sam. You need to go. You're too exposed here.
Don't worry about me. I will find you.” I ordered him with a voice full of steel. He clambered
to his feet and I knew he wasn't happy about it.

“Oh, Dean, I wouldn't make promises that you can't keep. Didn't your mother ever teach you
that lying is a sin?” Azazel drawled. His voice shifted my attention to the demon that was
now in front of me. He was far too close for comfort. He smiled at me and it filled my body
with dread.

“Oh, wait… I killed your mother… and to expel me, you'll have to kill your father, because I
broke his neck, after possessing him.” Yellow Eyes said with a cruel laugh.

Sam kicked the First Blade into the pit with us. Yellow Eyes didn't seem to notice it. He was
focused on me. I forced myself to look up at my brother.

“Go, Sam.” I raised my voice and it seemed to have the desired effect.

He retreated and I let out a shaky breath of relief. I tried to brace myself, knowing that an
attack was coming. This is the endgame that Azazel had wanted. I took out his prized soldier
and the other competition. I may as well be gift-wrapped for him.

“You have no idea how delicious your fear smells.” He groaned, as he backed me flush
against the wall.

I had nowhere to go. He knew that I didn't have the blade on my person. I'd have to fight
dirty and do whatever I possibly could to survive this. After all, that seems to be the Dean
Winchester special – winging it and praying that I come out of it alive. Why would this be
any different?

“Yeah, because that's original. What is it with you rape-y types? It's like you all read the same
obvious manuscript and you morons all spout the same bullshit.” I huffed, as I rolled my
eyes.

I was deflecting to try and hold onto some of my bravado. He knows I'm terrified. I'm not
gonna give him any more satisfaction than I have to. I would take whatever I had to take, so
long as I could survive. Once he thinks that he has me beat, I'll make my move. I just have to
bide my time.

I can do this. I have to. There's no one here to save me. I have to save myself and I will. He's
not going to walk away from this. I will. I have to. I can't leave Sam. I can't. I just have to
focus on Sam. He needs me.

“You know, I want your brother, because of his potential. That's not a secret. I can mold him
in a way that he will be my greatest warrior. There is so much he can do. What he's capable
of, is magnificent. I knew that I would never be able to get to him, if I didn't get to you first.
Everyone knows that. Your loyalty is staggering. You'd never know that this sack of shit is
your father. He wouldn't understand loyalty, unless it slapped him in the face, and even then,
he'd probably still opt for his usual self-serving behavior.

“He’s known for months that I had a hand in your mother's death, but he chose not to say
anything. Look what selling you out got him. He had everything and he still got greedy.
When he wanted more and Alastair refused, he sought me out. He was convinced that he
deserved something for keeping his mouth shut and not ratting me out to you. When I
refused, he decided that it would be in his best interest to come clean with you.

“It was bad enough that he was convinced that I should let him have my daughter. Does that
surprise you? He wanted Ruby, for you. He offered me you, for her. I refused. And yet, your
dear old dad still didn't care that you or Sam were truly in danger. What a waste, isn't it?

“Even now, when he can see what dastardly things I want to do to you – in his body, no less –
he's trying to bargain with me. There is outrage, of course, but it's so little, so late. I will have
you and take your virginity, and there isn't a damned thing that either of you can do to stop
me. I want to see if you’re as sweet as your mother was. Mary really was ripe for the taking.
She fought beautifully, and I know that you will, too. After all, like mother, like daughter.”
Azazel sneered.

His cold, yellow eyes bore down at me and I shivered. I knew that I would be slowing the
inevitable, at best, but I couldn't not fight. It's not in my nature. I couldn't unpack what he
admitted to me about my parents. There wasn't time. I had to focus on surviving this.

He grabbed me and pulled me forward. I tried to catch my footing, but he just used all of his
strength to slam me backwards. My head made a sickening crack that had me so dizzy. I
gripped his forearms and dug my nails in. He hissed as I slammed my head forward to head-
butt him. I brought my knee up into his groin and he hit me. The blow landed in my gut and
the wind was knocked out of me.

He growled and gripped my jaw in his hand. He used his body to pin me to the wall. I
couldn't move. He held my face still, in a punishing grip, as he pressed his lips to mine. I
thrashed as much as I was able, but it wasn't enough to dislodge him.

My discomfort seemed to spur him on. He knew how I would feel about him, especially in
my father's body. He shoved his tongue into my mouth and I kept trying to move away, to no
avail. His free hand clawed at my stomach, until he got enough of a grip on my leggings to
yank them down. He fumbled with his pants and I felt white hot panic fill my body.

I tried to keep my tears at bay. I knew that I couldn't get out of this. I knew that this is what
all of them have been threatening me with, since it started, but it didn't make it any less
terrifying.

I felt his arousal against me, and tears slipped down my face. He let go of my face and spun
me around. He got closer to me and I slammed my head back. He cried out and I knew that I
did some damage. He yanked my hair and then shoved my face against the wall. He used his
foot to drag my bottoms to my ankles. He ripped my underwear and yanked at my bottom
half, until I was bent over and struggling against him and the dirty wall.
I was pleading with him, despite myself. I couldn't help it. I wasn't even coherent enough to
know what I was babbling or what I was saying to him to try and reason with him. I just
knew that I was begging and that it was falling on deaf ears. He just laughed at me.

He shoved his length into me and I just felt stabbing pain. I screamed. That seemed to be
what he wanted. He kept me in a punishing grip and set a brutal pace.

I tried to get my backup piece from my holster, but he noticed my attempts. His laughter got
louder and more unhinged. I finally gripped the handle of the gun well enough to pull it out
of the partially out of the holster. He shoved me against the wall further and it was trapped in
between my body and the wall. I couldn't move it enough to get it free to take a shot.

He groaned and filled my ears with filthy obscenities. I was shaking and I did my best to tune
it out. He kept telling me how close he was to finishing and how perfect I was. When he
yelled that he was finally at his climax, I was able to move my arm and hand enough to
maneuver the gun, so the nozzle was pressed into my abdomen, hard. I got my finger on the
trigger and prayed that he was close enough to me, that it would do enough damage.

I pressed the trigger and the consequence was immediate. He stilled and slumped forward,
knocking the gun out of my grip. It dangled in the holster. I knew that I was bleeding, but I
couldn't afford to stop. I wouldn't get another chance.

I spun and shoved him aside. He was finally off of my body and I dove for the knife. Once
the First Blade was in my hand, I lunged at him. He looked surprised, when I drove it into his
chest. His yellow eyes flickered and faded to my dad's familiar brown.

I fell to my knees and fixed my clothing as best I could. I put the blade into the sheath that
was now back on my thigh. Blood was filling my shirt and I didn't have anything press
against it. I didn't know how to get out of here.

I pushed myself to my feet and scoured the entrapment for a door. Thankfully, there was one,
hidden in the shadows. It was old and took some effort, but I finally was able to push it open.
The air was dank and humid. I tripped up the dark staircase that laid beyond the secret door. I
prayed that it would get me to where I needed to go.

It lead me to a locked door. I used the blade to jimmy it open. When the old wood gave way, I
was immersed in the sound of fighting. So many bodies littered the floor. I hoped that they
were all demons, and none that were on my side.

I kept the First Blade in hand and staggered forward. I was unsteady, at best, on my feet, but I
knew that I couldn't stop. I saw only a few demons still fighting against the hunters and
Crowley. Rowena was leaning against a back wall with Sam. Jo was tending to Meg's face.
Cas was on his knees weeping. I knew that we must have lost someone.

I staggered over to them and saw a demon slink up behind Jody. I slammed the blade into its
back and it fell to the ground. Cas noticed that I was there, when he heard the movement. His
eyes were wide, and he scrambled to his feet, and reached out his arms to steady me.
I saw Ash and Jimmy lying on the ground, dead. Before I could mourn the loss, my vision
started to go black. I felt Cas' hands and then I was falling.

‘Life's so dark, when everyday is a struggle.

Why go out and see the world on fire?
Don't let your mindset become what controls you.
Speak right now, and make the choice to grow…

I won't let pain get in my way.

I can't have silence claiming me.
We have strength in numbers, strength in numbers, to get us through the day.
No compromises to be made.
This is a war we're gonna win.
We have strength in numbers, strength in numbers, to get us through the day…’
 pretty toxic revolver
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "pretty toxic revolver" -- MGK

‘Danger, one of us just lost out savior.

Gotta maintain, when you're going insane, so, I say this prayer.
Dear God, why do I need this medicine to control my anger?
And do you even exist?
They're trying to say that it's a myth.

Lotta things left unsaid, lotta things left unanswered.

My aunt just passed away from cancer.
Dad just got out of rehab, and Mom's never gonna show up, gotta grow up.
Ride with me, through the memories inside of me…’

Chapter Twenty-Eight:

An incessant beeping dragged me to consciousness. I shivered, feeling cold and in pain. I

forced my eyes open and tried to surveil my surroundings. It was so bright. The beeping just
seemed to grow louder. I must be in a hospital. How did I get here?

I tried to remember and drew a giant blank. I sat up, wincing. I coughed, as the beeping
increased. I climbed out of bed and felt disoriented. I pulled of the nasal cannula on my face
and all the stickers and wires I was hooked up to. I felt a tugging on my arm and looked
down and saw an IV. I was hooked up to a machine and there was a button, laid forgotten, on
the bed. Was it for pain? What happened?

I yanked the IV out and heard someone coming into the room. I staggered to the bathroom,
overcome with nausea. I fell into the toilet and started vomiting. My body shook with each
heave of my stomach.

I jumped, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Someone was speaking, but I was too out of it
to discern who was talking or what they were saying. I couldn't even hear the beeping
anymore. Loud white noise filled my ears. The lights went out and all the glass around
shattered. I jumped, but could do little else, when vomit was still being expelled from my
body.

Someone towered over me.

“Deanna,” a loud voice boomed. I jumped, when a hand pushed into me and dragged me to
my feet. My knees buckled immediately.

I thrust my hands out to catch myself. Soon, familiar arms encased around me and my nausea
stopped. I knew immediately that it was Lucifer. I looked up at him and he leaned down to
kiss my temple. As soon as he kissed me, all of my pain stopped.

“Michael, you're not welcome here, Brother.” Lucifer told him. I shivered, still freezing. Luci
kept me tucked in his embrace. Slowly, I started to warm up.

“This child has much to answer for.” The loud, douche-y angel hissed. I glanced up at
Lucifer, with skepticism.

“How do you have so many brothers that bigger douchebags than you? I mean, you're thee
Devil.” I asked, not bothering to even try to stop myself. He snorted at my curiosity.

“I often wonder the same thing.” Luc replied with a small shrug.

“Hasn't she done enough to clean up your inaction? What more could you possibly want from
her?” Lucifer asked his irritating kin. Michael just growled.

“A human slaying an angel is blasphemous. I will not abide it. There must be consequences.”
Michael’s voice boomed.

It hurt my head. It seemed to be the only volume that he was capable of. I didn't appreciate it.
I should probably be scared, but I'm not. He's just a big, powerful bully. I've met more than a
few of those. They're all just jerks that need to be knocked down a peg. I'm not buying that
he's actually miffed that I took out Gadreel.

Where was he, when he was raising hell? I did him a favor. Is he just here saving face, or is it
something else? Life would be so much simpler, if I could just gank Lucifer's respective
family. He wasn't kidding about the Almighty being a dead-beat dad. He's still hasn't shown
up or said boo.

“Oh… So, you draw the line at killing an angel, but you're cool with an angel raping and
killing innocent humans? Wow. Got it. Pretty hypocritical.” I huffed.

Lucifer belly-laughed at that. He didn't have to say it, for me to know that I was his favorite. I
have this weird feeling, that we're going to be besties, for as long as I'm alive.

“What's dear ole Dad say about that? He hasn't said anything, has he?” Luci taunted.

“I don't appreciate your antics, Lucifer.” Michael glowered. I just snickered.

“A human would never be permitted to keep an angel blade. Return it to me now.” Michael
demanded. I felt the power behind his order.

“I don't have it. I gave it to cooler brother.” I replied, evenly. Lucifer grinned, enjoying the
banter.

“Return it to me now.” Michael pressed. I snorted and felt the vibrations of Lucifer's laughter.

“I'm not gonna do that. Was that all, Mike-y?” Lucifer asked. Michael actually growled at
that.

“For now,” Michael huffed, before disappearing.

“Wow. I bet your family reunions suck ass. I've only known him for five minutes, and I
already wanna gank the dude.” I mused. Lucifer steered me out of the bathroom.

“Do you want to stay here?” He asked me, instead of responding to my witty commentary on
his familial unit. I shook my head no.

I blinked and I was at Bobby's. Lucifer was gone, but I knew that I would be seeing him soon
enough.

No one looked surprised, when I materialized at Bobby's. The air was charged with an
unyielding sense of melancholy and grief. It made my chest ache and my heart hurt. Ellen
and Jo noticed me first. They wasted no time in wrapping me up in a hug. I sagged into them,
all the energy seemingly leaving my body.

“I'm so damn glad that you're okay, Dean.” Ellen murmured. I hummed in thanks. I did my
best to reciprocate their embrace.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if there was anything to say. There were casualties
and I felt responsible for them. I still haven't wrapped my mind around the fact that Dad,
Jimmy, and Ash would never be here with us, again.

I knew that it would hit at some point, but right now, it hadn't yet. I didn't know if I should
feel unnerved or grateful or both. I haven't unpacked anything mentally, since all of this
started to go down. If I'm being honest with myself, I haven't unpacked anything in years.

I knew that my journey to mental wellness, if I could even ever get there, would take a long,
long time. I wasn't about to try and shove years worth of trauma into one night and expect
instant results, as tempting as that alternative seemed.
I don't know how long we stayed like that, huddled together. Eventually, they let me go, and I
hugged my Bobby and damn near tackled by Sammy. As Bobby let go, and I was able to get
my arms around Sam, tears started to fall. I hiccupped and knew that I was probably
deteriorating fast.

I pulled away and sniffed and swiped at my face. I needed to focus, before I could let myself
breakdown. I felt disgusting and knew that a shower was needed. I wanted to get out of this
damn hospital gown. I cleared my throat and tried to get the words out.

“I need to take a shower, Kiddo. I wanna get into comfortable clothes, and I need to call Cas.
Then maybe we can have a cuddle puddle?” I offered, looking at my baby brother. He
nodded, quickly. He didn't say anything, but his eyes were red-rimmed, and I knew that he
was feeling the loss just as hard as I was, if not harder. “I love you, Sammy. We're gonna be
okay. I promise.”

With that, I excused myself, and made my way upstairs. I found my bag and my phone, along
with some of my clothes all waiting for me in the guest bedroom. I grabbed my phone and
what I needed for the bathroom, and made my way there. By some miracle, whoever took my
things, had the forethought to charge my phone for me.

I didn't bother to check any messages, before dialing Cas' number. I prayed that he would
answer. I hated that I didn't have the mental bandwidth to go and see him in person. I knew
that he had to be hurting. I can't believe that Jimmy was actually gone. None of this feels real.

“Dean?” Cas answered, as his voice cracked.

“Angel, I'm so, so sorry.” I apologized, as I sank to the ground in the bathroom. I didn't know
what else to say. Apologizing doesn't feel like enough. How could it be? “Do you need me? I
can come by… How can I… Is there anything, anything, I can do to help support you?” I
offered. I heard to soft sounds of him crying and it broke my heart.

“I don't want you to leave Sam.” He said with a sniff. I gnawed at my lip, but waited to reply,
until I was sure that he was finished speaking. “Tomorrow… if you don't mind being here… I
would… Can you? I can… Can Meg and I come there today? Maybe we can just be together?
With you and Sam? I just…” Cas' voice trailed off and I tried to swallow the lump in my
throat.

“Yeah, Sweetheart. Anything. Okay? Literally anything. I… The room I'm staying in is big
enough. We can bring Sammy's bed in there too and push them together. Even if we just put
the two mattresses on the floor. Bring some pillows and blankets and lazy clothes. Ask Meg
if she can grab some snacks and bottled water. I know you probably don’t want to drink
anything, but you need to, Baby. Okay? Let me take care of you. We can take care of each
other.

“I need to shower and change, but that shouldn't take long. Lucifer stopped by the hospital
and healed me. It's a long story and I’ll tell you later. I'll see you soon. I'll let Ellen know that
you're coming. You're welcome whenever.” I told him.
“Thank you, Honey. I'll see you soon. I love you.” Cas breathed, before ending the call. I let
out a shaky sigh and focused on my task at hand.

I sent some texts to everyone letting them know the game plan. Everyone responded quickly
and agreed that it would be no trouble to host and that we'd be ordering in comfort food at
some point.

With that out of the way, I stripped out of the gown and hospital grippy socks. It didn't take
long for the water to heat up. I noticed that while Luci did heal me, I still had scars to
remember the ordeal by. I found myself a little glad that I had something tangible and
concrete. It made me feel like I wasn't crazy. They were proof that I survived that. Maybe it's
morbid to want the physical reminders, but it gave me some peace of mind.

When I emerged from the bathroom, clad in a thick pair of sweatpants, warm socks, and a
heavy sweater, I wasn't surprised to see Jo and Sam already in the guestroom. They had
already moved the two mattresses together on the floor and had plenty of bedding. I gave
them a grateful smile, before hugging them both, tightly.

“Got room for one more in the cuddle puddle?” Jo asked me, quietly. She tried to play it off
as a joke, but I nodded, all the same.

“Of course we do. I love you, just as much as I love them.” I promised. Her face fell and she
lost her composure. I knew that Ash's death was hitting her hard.

Sam and I had her wrapped in a hug, when the bedroom door opened. I glanced back and saw
Cas and Meg. I beckoned them over and they joined the group hug. After a minute, we broke
apart and set to work adding the small mountain of pillows and blankets to the bed. Meg
passed out bottles of water, and we all got situated.

I was in the middle, flanked on either side by Sammy and Cas. Jo laid behind Sam, and Meg
behind Cas. We didn't say much. We didn't really need to. We knew that we were all
collectively hurting. We had tissues on deck and a couple of waste baskets to catch any that
we needed to dispose of.

I snuggled closer to my guys and let my eyes drift closed. My exhaustion was creeping up on
me. I felt safe and secure for the first time in ages. Even amongst all of this heartache, there
was some peace in that, and I was grateful for it.
‘This is just my pretty toxic, heavy conscience, weight on my soul.
Six shots in my revolver, when I'm on my own...

Play this song, on the first day I am gone.

I do not want you to cry.
Legends never die.
I hope our story's told…
I hope they pave it in gold.
Take me home, somewhere I belong…

To my dearest, I ain't gone.’

 Without You
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Without You" -- Breaking Benjamin

‘Search for the answers I knew all along.

I lost myself.
We all fall down.
Never the wiser of what I've become, alone, I stand, a broken man.

All I have is one last chance.

I won't turn my back on you.
Take my hand.
Drag me down.
If you fall, then I will, too, and I can't save what's left of you.

Sing something new.

I have nothing left.
I can't face the dark without you.
There's nothing left to lose.
The fight never ends.
I can't face the dark without you.’

Chapter Twenty-Nine:

The next few days passed by in a hazed blur. I was aware of time and the people surrounding
me, but none of it felt real. I was going through the motions and doing what I knew I needed
to, but I just felt so far removed from it all.

The day that Cas and Meg came over to cuddle pile with us was the last day that I was able to
feel something in the general vicinity of real. I had had flashes of intense emotion start to fill
me and it was colossally overwhelming. I didn't know how to sort it all.
Even with the numb haze, I was able to be present enough. I could still hold Sammy and Cas.
I could help plan the funerals and help take care of the nitty-gritty details that no one else
wanted to handle. Everyone else's emotions were running high and their patience was waning
thin.

I didn't mind picking up the slack. It was a familiar role that I was all too used to. It's what I
was good at. I could do this and be of use. I needed it. Even if it was just a small distraction, I
was grateful for it.

I didn't know how to look at the world with the three of them gone. No one had been able to
step foot into The Roadhouse, without bursting into tears. The heavy silence and impossible
ache that filled Ash's void was too much to take. He kept things alive.

I didn't know Jimmy well. I only knew him from our interactions at Inferno, and what kind of
man that his siblings knew him to be. He stood up for me and went out of his way to help me,
when he could. And that spoke volumes. I can't fathom the loss of a brother. After all, that's
how this all started, isn't it? I couldn't bear that thought of losing Sam. The hurt that Cas and
Gabe must feel… it's something that I cannot even begin to imagine.

I don't know how to help that. I don't think that I can. How do you make that better? The
world is never better, after a loss like that. The most I can do is to just be there and to do what
I can to be with him through it, and to remind him that he's not alone.

Out of all of the losses, the most confusing was my father. Him being gone was something
that I had pictured and something that I thought I was ready for. But despite all of that, I
knew that I wasn't ready for a world without John Winchester.

If anything, I was just as bitter, and just as heartbroken as I had been before. He was gone,
while he was alive, and now, he was gone, while he was dead. Maybe this way, he'll be able
to see Mom, again. Maybe she can slap some sense into him.

I knew that Sammy and I weren't alone, but knowing and feeling are two different things. I've
already been his sister, his mother, his father, his friend, his protector. I was whatever he
needed me to be. We've never really had anyone else to help pick up the slack.

Bobby and Ellen are here and they help so much. Even Jo. She's the older sister that he's
never really had. She's the uncomplicated sister that doesn't have to fill all of the other roles.
Bobby and Ellen do their best to be pseudo-parents, when they need to, but back off, when
they think that I can handle things. They have this weird way of knowing what we both need
and respecting us and our space, while simultaneously letting us know that they're here,
should we need them, and they're still there, when we think that we don't.

In my weaker moments, I let my mind drift, and I think of how different our lives would have
been, if Bobby and Ellen had been the ones to raise us. I knew that they would have done a
hell of a lot better with Sam, then I ever could. Sammy wouldn't have had to see most of the
shit that he's seen. He wouldn't have been subjected to our dad.

It's such a slippery slope and it's one that I try not to fall down. I can't afford to fall apart, not
while so many people need me. I bury it and push through. It's the tried and true Dean
Winchester way.

“I don't want to speak at his funeral. I have nothing to say.” I said, as I shook my head. My
arms were folded tightly across my chest, as I struggled to keep my anger in check, and a
panic attack at bay.

“Listen, Kid, I know it ain't easy. I know that you and Sam have had a rough go of things. I'm
not askin' you to lie or sugarcoat things. You know the type of man your dad was. Just speak
from the heart. I don't like pulling the adult card here, but you're gonna speak at his service,
and that's final.” Bobby told me. I fumed and gritted my teeth. “Go get changed. We need to
leave for his service soon.”

Sammy stuck to me like glue. We were both dressed in black clothes that only seemed to add
to our somber mood. I had no idea what to say. I had no idea who would even be there. I'm
just so angry. When I gave Cain back the First Blade, it got better, but the mark didn't fade
completely.

I just wanted to get this over with. Today is the service, and tomorrow, we're having a joint
Celebration of Life, at The Roadhouse. No one was ready to do both today. I hoped that
tomorrow would be a little less heavy for all of us.

“There was a time, when I considered you to be one of my best friends, John. Somehow,
during these years, I'm ashamed to say that I stopped recognizing you. You did a damn good
job keeping everyone at a distance and questions at bay. I should've known that ya were tryin'
to pull the wool over my eyes…

“You helped me through some of the toughest times of my life, and I'll always be grateful to
ya for that. But, I can't forgive ya for all the shit you put these kids through. Just the short
amount of time that I've been privy to knowin' them, this past year, I can tell that they're
damn amazing, and Mary'd be damn proud of ‘em.

“I can't take the credit. And you damn sure can't either. I do my part and I'll do my best to be
a father to them kids, because it's what they deserve. They've never been able to just be kids,
because they were too busy takin' care of you. I will love them and care for them, like they're
my own. I promise you that.

“Wherever you are, know that you have a lot of explaining to do. You didn't raise her, but
Dean is a damn fine woman and Sam is well on his way to be a damn fine man. They're
gonna continue to grow and heal and get better. They deserve a safe space and a family that
loves ‘em. They have it here. It's because of Mary and Dean, that they grew up the way they
did. They grew up great. They grew up heroes.” Bobby finished his speech and the tears that
welled in my eyes cascaded down my face. I hiccupped and wiped away the tears. I gave
Bobby a tight hug and stepped up to the podium.

“I didn't wanna talk today. I'm not good with words. I never finished school. I'm only
sixteen…” I began. I sobbed and took a second to try and pull myself together. It seemed like
an impossible task, so I tried to calm myself enough to talk through it.

“I'm only sixteen, and since we moved here, I've been lying about my age, claiming I'm
eighteen, so I could work and pay the bills, because you made it clear that you weren't going
to.

“After you left us at the last place, I learned that I'd have to pay our way, one way or the
other. It was easier, if I just got a job, and tried to anticipate any problems. I wanted Sam to
have what I never could. I didn't want him to grow up like me. I wanted him to have better. I
wanted him to have better. I wanted him to know that someone loved him and someone was
proud of him. I wanted him to have what Mom would've given him, so I did my best to make
that happen.

“I knew that he didn't have Mom. I knew that I was a poor substitute, but I'm all he had. You
weren't gonna put in the work. For a while, you got it together enough to try and track down
the demon that killed her. But somewhere along the line, even that stopped being a good
reason for you to stay sober. You just drank and drank and there was nothing I could do to
stop you. God knows I tried.

“It became easier and safer to just stay out of your way. You needed someone to blame and
someone to take your anger out on, and that person became me. I was also the person to clean
up all of your messes. I stitched you up, when you needed it. I paid our bills. I did what I
could to give you some spending money… Not that it mattered.

“You even found a way to fuck that up. You stole months worth of rent from me. You took
the roof that I put over our heads and you threw it away. You gambled so much money.
Money we never had. Money you never had. You didn't care that they would go after us, if
they didn't get what was owed them. You didn't care that Sam would have to pay that price.
Why would you? You never had to face any of your consequences for your shitty actions.
You had me for that.

“I've had to be the parent and the adult for so long. You treated me like I had endless amounts
to give, and I spent every single day, since Mom died, just wishing that I had died with her.
You had a way of knowing when I was at my absolute lowest, and making me feel worse. I
wanted to die and you made sure that I always knew how worthless I was, and how much
better you and the world would be, if I wasn't in it.
“It must really eat at you, that I was able to do all the things that you were never able to do. I
raised Sam. I raised myself. I ganked the demon that killed Mom. Not you. Me. I might've let
you break me, but I'm still here, Dad. So is Sam. And he's gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay.
No thanks to you.

“You're gone, and nothing has really changed. You weren't here, while you were alive. You're
not here, now that you're dead, either. You're still gone. I hate that I can't hate you. I'm not
like you. I can't stop loving you, just because you're a shitty deadbeat. I guess that's
something you and God have in common.

“I'm sure you can discuss that over a beer. I'm relieved that you're gone, because it means that
you're not a danger to us, anymore. I'm guilty that I'm relieved. I miss you and I hate myself
for it. I love you, and I wish that I didn't. Give ‘em hell, Mom. Bye, Dad. I won't be here,
again.” My voice cracked, as I finished what I wanted to say.

Bobby didn't hesitate to wrap his arm around me. I felt safe. I finally felt fucking safe. He
rubbed my back, as Sam took his place at the podium. It was his turn to talk and I had no idea
how it was going to go. I pulled away from Bobby, so I could root him on.

“Give ‘em hell, Sammy.” I said, loudly. It earned a surprised chuckle from the others in
attendance.

It was enough to alleviate some of the tension in Sammy's shoulders. He shot me a grateful
smile, before his face twisted into a grimace. I knew that this was hard for him and I hated
that he had to go through it. He didn't deserve this. He's just a kid. We're both just kids.

“I, uh, I never really thought about what would happen, if you died, Dad. In a lot of ways,
you've always seemed so much larger than life. You had this commanding presence… You
knew it, too. You used it to instill fear, whenever you could. When we were younger, you'd
charm people, when you could. You stopped being able to do that, when you stopped being
able to not drink.

“There were a lot of things that I saw, that you thought I didn't. I'm not just some dumb kid.
I'm a Winchester. You raised me and Dean both to notice things. Behavior, little details,
anything to help gain an advantage, any of that could help keep us alive. I started trying to
learn you, just like Dean would.

“She took the brunt of everything. She would have done anything you asked her to. You
didn't have to raise your voice or get violent, and you knew that, but you did, anyway. You
wanted to prove a point. Some part of you got off on being casually cruel.

“You tried to beat everything soft out of us. It didn't work. Dean is warm and loving and
would do anything to help someone. She taught me to be the same way. You taught me how
hard life could be, even when it didn't have to be. Dean taught me how to survive it, and how
to find safe people to ask for help from.

“I was too young to remember Mom. I don't have any memories of her. I just know what you
and Dean have told me, and the few pictures that Dean was able to salvage of her. I like to
imagine that she was a lot like Dean. She must've been wonderful, for Dean to turn out as
great, as she did. She's the best, strongest, most loving person I know. I couldn't ever ask for a
better sister.

“Even when you were gone for weeks at a time, and we didn't have any food, I wasn't scared.
Dean made it fun. She found a way to get us what we needed. I always had something to
open on Christmas or on a birthday. She didn't. She never let me feel like I was missing
something. It's like failing wasn't ever an option for her.

“I hate that you took that from her. I hate that you hurt her the way that you did. I hate that
you made me feel the way you did. I hate so many of the things you did. I hate who you
became. I spent a lot of time hating you. I know that it's not healthy and I've spent a long time
working through it and letting that anger go.

“Dean's right, Dad. We're gonna be okay, no thanks to you. You're not here to make things
worse for us, anymore. Dean doesn't have to act like she's not hungry, so that I can eat. She
doesn't have to steal us food or clothes for me. She doesn't have to do things that a kid should
never have to do, to keep a roof over our heads. We're gonna get better, because you can't
hurt us anymore.”

I was beyond drained from Dad's service. We said so much, but there was still so much that
was left unsaid. I didn't know how to begin to untangle it all. I made a mental note to look for
therapy options, once the dust settled.

I've been crying, since we got back to Bobby's. We all changed into comfortable clothes and
Ellen did her best to try and get everyone to eat something. I couldn't stomach anything. I
knew that if I tried, that it would just come right back up.

Cas and Meg came back over and we all got situated in the big makeshift bed in the guest
room at Bobby's. Jo clambered in with us and we all just cried together. I hoped that we'd be
able to sleep at some point.

I wished that our grief wouldn't always be so crushing or feel so gotdamn sad.

‘Swallow me under and pull me apart.

I understand, there's nothing left.
Pain so familiar and close to heart – no more, no less.
I won't forget.
Come back down, save yourself.
I can't find my way to you, and I can't bear to face the truth…
 I wanted to forgive.
I’m trying to forget.
Don't leave me here, again.
I am with you, forever, the end…

Holding the hand that holds me down,

I forgive you, forget you, the end.’
 Golden G String
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestions: "Golden G String" -- Miley Cyrus, "Country Grammar
(Hot Shit)" -- Nelly, "Shake It Off" -- Taylor Swift, "Poker Face" -- Lady Gaga, "Eye of
the Tiger" -- Survivor

‘I woke up in Montecito.
I was thinkin' about my life, and the questions made more questions, starin' out into the night.
Yes, I've worn the golden G-string, put my hand into hellfire.
I did it all to make you love me, and to feel alive.

Oh, that's just the world that we're livin' in.

The old boys hold all the cards, and they ain't playin' gin.
You dare to call me crazy, have you looked around this place?
I should walk away.
Oh, I should walk away, but I think I'll stay.’

Chapter Thirty:

There was a weird energy that surrounded the day. It was something that I couldn't quite put
my finger on. I couldn't pinpoint what it felt like, exactly. The air was charged with
something that was too contradictory and complex for me to be able to unweave.

I knew that today would be different than yesterday. I just didn't know how much different it
would be. Yesterday, we said our collective pieces on Dad. It was hard and heavy and
draining and left me so beyond fried. Yesterday was specifically to come to terms with our
loss and to mourn. Today was supposed to a celebration of their lives.

I knew that it wouldn't be as cut and dry as that, but I knew that we were expected to try and
rally and make this a bittersweet event, at the very least. It was hard for me to picture the
nicer memories of Dad with us. There were so many bad ones that surrounded him. It was
like a dark tint on the memory of the man that he let himself become. He stopped trying and
actually being a father so long ago. It was easy to lose myself in the churning sea of
bitterness. I had to be so careful. That would just make things worse and so much harder.

I tried to take the few good memories and wrap them up tight in my heart and keep them safe.
But it was like the harder that I tried to grip them, the harder it was to keep them. It was like
trying to keep your dream, after waking up from a deep sleep. It would slip away, no matter
how strong of a hold you had on it. But I tried. Oh, I tried.

I remember Dad teaching me to drive, when I was ten. He claimed that I needed to know, in
case of an emergency. We could need a quick get away, or god forbid, if something happened
to him. I had to think of the family. I had to think of Sammy. I had to be ready. I had to be
prepared. It was my job. The only one that really mattered. It seemed to always come down
to that. Keeping Sammy safe.

Now, though, I can see the manipulation for what it was. He knew exactly what to say and
how to play me, so I would make sure that I succeeded. It was more than being obedient or a
need to please. Keeping everyone safe, keeping Sammy safe, was life or death. There wasn't
an option to fail. I never had that option. He never allowed it. And I never even considered it.
I couldn't fail. I couldn't. So, I didn't.

He made a big show of it, letting me know just how proud he was of me, when I was able to
master the basics of driving in a day. Obviously, I had to be careful not to let anyone see me.
A kid couldn't drive, not according to everyone else, or the law. But Dad didn't care about
that, not really. As long as I was able to do what he asked, when he asked, he was happy
enough.

He took us to a diner that night and let us get the biggest burgers we could stomach. He let us
get ice cream and pie. We took our time and enjoyed an easy night of just being together, that
seemed like such a rarity. He peppered me with praise and I thought my heart would explode
from being so happy. My face hurt from smiling. The entire day and night, I felt untouchable.
It was one of the best days of my life.

A month later, I got a call to come pick him up from a bar. He was too drunk to drive himself.
I was so nervous. I stammered on the phone and he shouted at me to do what I was told.

I had to leave Sammy alone in out motel room. It took me an hour to walk to the bar he was
at. It was dark and I barely knew where I was going. I was so scared. My heart hammered
against my chest the entire time.

When I got there, I stepped inside the bar and he was laughing and drinking, like he hadn't
just berated the shit out of me, an hour earlier. When he saw me, his face fell and his
expression darkened. His anger was evident and I knew that I was going to pay for being
hesitant, when he gave me a clear order. He didn't tolerate that. I knew that. He knew that I
knew it. It didn't matter.

I was terrified. He strode over to me and grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the building.
He thrust his keys into my hand and shoved me against his car. He gripped my shirt and
yanked me off of the ground. I didn't dare say anything. I knew that if I did, I would just
make things worse. I can't imagine a time that I had ever seen him this angry before. I didn't
know what he was going to do.

He spewed insults and told me exactly how worthless I was. He told me that I should have
died in the fire, instead of Mom. He hated that he was saddled with the responsibility of
raising such ungrateful shits, when Mom was the one who wanted kids in the first place, not
him. He said that he hated how much I looked like her, and how he would never be able to
love such a painful reminder of the woman he had lost. He told me that if I couldn't be
obedient, that he didn't have to keep me. He didn't want me and he wouldn't have any
problem finding someone else who might.

My heart broke and I couldn't help sobbing. He was supposed to be my dad. I didn't think that
I deserved that, but he seemed to believe that I did. He sneered, when I cried. The insults
didn't stop. I had hoped they would. But if anything, my tears just seemed to egg him on.

He gripped my throat, instead of my shirt. I struggled to breathe and he just laughed. He hit
me across the face and kneed me in the stomach, before dropping me onto the ground. He
demanded that I drive him home. He seemed to be over his anger. I scrambled into the
driver's seat and did what he told me to do.

I had to help me out of the car and into our motel room. I got into bed with Sammy and tried
not to think of all the things that happened. I hated that I looked like Mom. And I hated that I
was his daughter, when he clearly wanted a son. I never forgot the terror that filled my body,
when he threatened to give me away. That was one of the worst days of my life.

For every decent memory with him, there were so many more that were awful.

I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm –
I'm glad and I hate myself for it.

I bustled around, helping everyone set up for the celebration of life. There wasn't much
conversation these days. No one knew what to say, and even if they did, everyone was a little
talked out. It helped having this distraction. We were gonna make fools of ourselves and sing
karaoke with our friends and our family. There would be good food and drinks and we
needed this. We really needed this.

“Listen up, you hunters and heathens.” Ellen's voice filled The Roadhouse, easily
commanding everyone's attention. Everyone directed their eyes to the stage.
“Tonight, there will be no fighting. We have a few demons and an angel in attendance. If
anyone has issue with that, they are welcome to get the hell on out of here. They are friends,
not foes. They fought with us, to get rid of Gadreel, Azazel, Ruby, and Alastair. Our town is a
better, safer place because of it. They are welcome here. If not for their help, we would have
lost more than Ash, Jimmy, and John. It would be an insult to their memories, to not have
them here.

“Now that that's out of the way, I hope you've got your singin’ pants on. I don't care if you’re
good, bad, or tone deaf. This is a celebration and we're gonna sing and dance and eat and
drink and have a good time. Now, most of you have been to a karaoke night or two here. If
you haven't, then you're in for a treat. Tonight, we have ample props and we encourage
shenanigans and silliness.

“To kick off our night, by leading by example, please welcome Bobby Singer to the stage for
his heartfelt rendition of ‘Country Grammar (Hot Shit)’ by Nelly. I believe he might even
have a backup dancer or two.” Ellen announced, before leaving the stage.

“No fucking way,” I exclaimed. Sammy was already recording, ready to cement this to
memory. Cas, Jo, and I made our way closer to the stage. We wanted to see this.

Bobby stepped out on the stage with a sideways ball cap on, a bunch of fake costume jewelry,
and a little bandage on his cheek, just like Nelly. Gabe, Balthazar, and Lilith flanked onto the
stage behind him. I couldn't contain my glee. I really hoped that someone had a video camera
and was recording these performances. Everyone else got quiet, as Bobby started.

“Mmm, I'm goin' down, down, Baby –

Your street in a Range Rover.
Street sweeper, Baby, cocked, ready to let it go.”

Bobby moved and gave an exaggerated shimmy, as he sang the song. He had obviously pre-
gamed and had some liquid courage to drink, and it showed. My face already hurt from how
hard I was smiling and giggling. We were all cheering him on, as the three people behind him
dropped it low and gave their best attempts of twerking on the stage.

“Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa what?

Listen to it pound.
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now.”

I whooped and bounced on the balls of my feet, the more into it Bobby got. God, it was so
freaking good to see him having fun and letting go of everything heavy for once. He looks so
much younger, when he lets himself live a little.

Sam dragged me to the stage and informed me that we were next, after a few more people
sang, after Bobby. Despite my initial doubts, and my inner turmoil, I was having a great time.
I can't remember the last time I had this much fun or felt this light. This was a rarity for me,
for all of us, if I'm being honest with myself.

Sam didn't tell me what song we were performing, but told me to put on a pair of the super
oversized sunglasses. I had taken a couple of shots with Meg, Jo, Cas, and Balthazar, when
we got to The Roadhouse, and I was grateful for it now. I was definitely feeling those lemon
drops. I put some of the light up, blinking necklaces around my neck and Sammy's.

We both got microphones and I grinned at him. Ellen popped up on stage and snapped a few
pictures of us. Sam was laughing, obviously anticipating the song that he had chosen. As
soon as Ellen was off of the stage, the music started and beamed. Fuck yeah, only Sammy
knows I'm a closet Swiftie. I brought the microphone to my mouth and we started.

“I stay out too late, got nothin' in my brain.

That's what people say, mm-mm.”

We were already getting into it and bouncing around and dancing, as we sang. This was
usually a song that cheered both of us up. It's honestly the perfect choice. We both shimmied
and shook our butts along to the beat.

“But I keep cruisin', can't stop, won't stop movin'.

It's like I got this music in my mind, sayin’,
‘It's gonna be alright.’”

People in the audience cheered and started to throw costume necklaces onto the stage. I can't
remember the last time Sam and I did something this silly together. We're definitely gonna
need to make a habit of it.

The giggles and laughter didn't show any signs of slowing or stopping, as I steered Sam to
our table, so I could force him to hydrate and eat something. We'd been dancing for the better
part of an hour. I knew that I should probably be the responsible one and try to make sure that
we paced ourselves.

Just as we started tucking into our burgers – and in Sammy's case, a side salad, too – Cas and
Gabe took the stage. I made Jo promise to record everything on my phone for me, while we
took our food break from the dancefloor.

I didn't know what song that they were doing, only that it was one that Jimmy would play to
cheer up Cas, dancing and all. He wanted to keep it a surprise. I'm not surprised that Gabe got
roped into performing, too. Not that he ever needs the encouragement.

Anna got on stage with them, too, followed by Garth. Gabe was wearing a bedazzled cowboy
hat, Anna had on a handful of feathered boas. Garth had on giant sunglasses. Cas was
sporting a coconut bra over his shirt and a hula skirt over his jeans. Somehow Gabe even
talked him into wearing a hot pink cowboy hat with his ensemble.

Sam and I looked at each other as the music started. My jaw dropped and I forgot all about
my burger. I snickered, as my eyes were glued to the stage.

“I wanna hold ‘em, like they do in Texas, please.

Fold ‘em, let ‘em hit me, raise it, Baby, stay with me.
LoveGame intuition, play the cards with spades to start.
And after he's been hooked, I'll play the one that's on his heart.”

Cas' and Gabe's voices were woefully off-key, but that didn't stop them from giving it their
all, or putting on a performance to remember. They spun and danced around the stage. Anna
and Garth danced with them and didn't even try to hide their glee or laughter.

“I'll get him hot, show him what I got.

Can't read my, can't read my –
No, he can't read my poker face.”

Bless ‘em, they even did the hand movements from Lady Gaga's music video. I was laughing
so hard, that I was crying. Sam and Meg weren't any better off. Balthazar fell off of his stool,
because he was doubled over laughing. I hope none of us ever live this down.

I kept hoping that I would see Lucifer make an appearance, since Ellen mentioned having
angels in attendance, but other than glimpses, he seemed set on keeping his distance from
everyone. I had a feeling that in the right setting, he'd slay the karaoke game. Something tells
me that he would be an avid performer and down for all of the theatrics.

I was back on the stage, and somehow, I managed to talk Benny and Cas into joining me.
They wouldn't be singing with me, but man, would they dance. I kissed Cas and pressed a
kiss to Benny's cheek, before nabbing the microphone. This was gonna be good.

“Risin' up, back on the street.

Did my time, took my chances.
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet,
Just a man and his will to survive.
So many times, it happens too fast.
You trade your passion for glory.”

I used my leg as an air guitar and got super dramatic with the song. Cas and Benny took turns
taking my hand and spinning me around the stage. I flung off the huge sunglasses and
accidentally hit Cas in the face with them. I laughed and dropped the microphone. I
apologized and tried to kiss it better. Benny grabbed the microphone and handed it back to
me with an affectionate eye roll.
“It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight.
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival,
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night,
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger.”

I belted out the rest of the song and even sank to my knees, as I sang the last lyrics. Jo
whooped loudly and Sammy was throwing glow sticks at me, onto the stage. Benny and Cas
pulled my to my feet and I followed them off of the stage, laughing, as I went.

I lost count of how many people sang or how many songs were performed. I definitely had
my favorites, though. I convinced Crowley and Rowena to sing ‘Wanted Dead or Alive' by
Bon Jovi with me. We even donned bedazzled cowboy hats together. I never thought I’d see
the day that Crowley willingly got down with rhinestones and Bon Jovi, but I'm so glad that I
did.

Bobby, Ellen, and Jo sang ‘Friends in Low Places' by Garth Brooks. The entire bar sang
along with them. How could we not? That's like the law or something… at least it should be.
It's a feel good song and that's what tonight was all about – feeling good.

Sam and Charlie sang ‘I'll Make a Man Out of You' by Danny Osmond, from ‘Mulan.’ It was
another crowd pleaser. I’d only seen the movie once or twice with Sam, and even I knew the
song. It was instant giggles, but they took their performance seriously and invoked all the
best feelings. Sammy looked so happy and I friggin' loved it.

We ended the night on a high. I don't think any of us were prepared for what Meg and Anna
had planned. They were on stage with the bedazzled cowboy hats that they must've stolen
from Crowley and Gabe. They did ‘Honkytonk Badonkadonk' by Trace Adkins. I choked on
my water and laughed so hard that I almost peed myself.

In between performances, they had some people share some good memories of the guys.
They put some slide shows together and we all reminisced on the good times with them.
There were tears, but more smiles and laughs, than anything.

In the end, Bobby and Ellen had been right, but I think I knew all along that they would be. It
was good for us all – for me. I needed so many reminders that there were still good memories
that existed with them, especially my father. As much as I hate to admit it, I really do miss
him. I couldn't help it. Despite everything, he's still my dad.

I don't know how to go on for here, but I know that even if it's just for Sammy's sake, that I
have to try.
 ‘There are layers to this body, primal sex and primal shame.
They told me I should cover it, so I went the other way.
I was tryin' to own my power, still I'm tryin' to work it out.
And at least it gives the paper somethin’ they can write about…

So, the mad man's in the big chair, and his heart's an iron vault.
He says, ‘If you can't make ends meet, Honey, it must be your fault.’
We all focus on the winners and get blinded by their shine.
Maybe caring for each other's just too 1969…

And I think I'll stay, yeah.

I have too much to lose.
So, I think I'll stay.
I can't walk away.’
 Castle
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Castle" -- Halsey

‘Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise.

Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised.
Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it.
Already choking on my pride, so, there's no use crying about it…

I'm headed straight for the castle.

They wanna make me their queen,
And there's an old man sitting on the throne there,
Saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean.
I'm headed straight for the castle.
They've got the kingdom locked up,
And there's an old man sitting on the throne there,
Saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut.’

Chapter Thirty-One:

I was tired. I was really tired. Lately, I sleep and sleep, and I don't feel any less exhausted.
Ellen casually mentioned that she knows of a few supernaturally inclined therapists that she
could get me in contact with. I knew that she meant well and that she was right. It was
something that I needed, desperately. I just wasn't ready yet.

I know I'm depressed. I can't help feeling and being worried that despite the big showdown,
that shit was still about to hit the fan. I was still trying to brace myself for the fallout.

I hadn't really gone back to work yet. I didn't really need to, but I did want to. I had to decide
what my future was going to look like. I wasn't used to having options. I wasn't used to not
living only out of necessity.
I knew that I had time to figure everything out, but it didn't help the unease that I felt. I knew
that Sam wouldn't approve, but I didn't want to go back to school. Maybe one day that will
change, but right now, just trying to picture going through the motions to pretend that I'm an
average teenager, makes me want to vomit.

I can get my GED. I need to find out what I need to do to make that happen. I don't want to
be another Winchester failure. I don't want to be a waste of space forever.

Gabe and Benny were showing me the ins and outs of baking. It was something that I could
throw myself into and I seemed to have a knack for it. It's one of the only things that I
actually enjoy, lately. Creating something with my own two hands gives me a sense of
satisfaction down in my bones. It doesn't hurt that Gabe is more than happy to sell my
creations at the diner.

He's been toying with the idea of building and opening a coffeehouse and bakery next door.
He hasn't made his interest in hiring me and building the business with me a secret. And god,
I loved him for it. It's never really something that I pictured for myself, but the more than I
thought about it, the more interested I became. Until plans were finalized, he was happy to
have me help him trial recipes and become more experienced.

Cas had tried to help, but Gabe shot that down so fast. Cas bristled, and insisted that he could
be of use, but when Gabe told me that he set the kitchen on fire trying to make instant
macaroni and cheese, that idea was quickly scrapped. He is decent with coffee, though, so
he's been helping trial bean blends.

Gabe has become even more protective of us all, if that's even possible. I knew that losing
Jimmy hit the Novak family hard. They were banding together and spending more time
together. I was just grateful that Sam and I were included in it.

I kept the apartment, but split my time between it and Bobby's. The guest room had become
mine. I saw Sam almost every day. It was nice. We were still figuring out how to behave
without the constant threat of our father over our heads.

“Hey Kiddo,” a voice said from behind me. I jumped, and dropped the apples that I had
gotten out to make into a pie. Through the haze of losing Dad and everyone, I had forgotten
to bring Cain the baked goods that I promised. Sam made me promise to let him help and
come with me and Lilith to bring them to him.

I whipped around and saw a smirking Lucifer. I swatted his arm with a glare. He laughed and
held his hands up in surrender. The mischievous twinkle in his eyes gave him away, and I
knew him well enough to know that the bastard wasn't sorry.

“Sorry, Deano. I didn't mean to scare ya.” He apologized, smirking. I rolled my eyes, good
naturedly.
“No, you're not. Don't lie, Luci. It doesn't suit you.” I quipped, teasing him. He just laughed.

“Hasn't anyone told you that I'm the devil?” He pressed. I just shrugged.

“And? Is that supposed to scare me? We both know what a marshmallow you can be. What's
up?” I replied, as I wiped my hands on my apron.

“I wanted to check in and see how you were doing. That, and I have someone who wants an
audience with you. He's kind of a dick. So, sorry about that in advance.” Lucifer sighed.

My eyebrows rose and I nodded. I washed my hands and took off my apron, before following
him out of the kitchen. As soon as I stepped out into the diner, everything froze, and the
world went silent.

“What the fuck, Luce?” I asked, turning to look up at him.

“It's not his fault, Dean. It's mine. Why don't you join me and I can explain?” A curly haired
brunet man with tired looking blue eyes and a short beard suggested.

I didn't move, until Lucifer nodded, and led the way. He gently took my hand in his, and let
me slide into the booth first. I looked expectantly at the man, as Luci sat down. The mystery
man looked amused at my apprehension and Lucifer's protectiveness.

“Who are you?” I asked him. He offered me a wry smile and took a sip of his coffee.

“You can call me Chuck.” He introduced, as he sat his mug down, and offered me his hand to
shake. I eyed him warily, and nodded, once. I didn't take his hand or make any friendly
movements. I don't know him. I don't trust him, and I don't feel bad about it.

“He's my father.” Luce added. I looked over at him, as he let go of my hand and slung his
arm over my shoulders, instead.

“You're God?” I asked, skeptically.

“The one and only.” Chuck replied with a smirk. My eyes narrowed and made an
unimpressed hum. “You don't believe me?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I do, I'm just not impressed. What? You roll up here and expect me to throw a party in your
honor? You're a deadbeat dad, Dude. I'm not really a fan of those and you know why. You
wrote the book on it. What's up with your kids, Man? Gadreel was the fucking worst. And
Michael is a grade A douchebag. Luce is great, even though you threw him out of heaven for
having a backbone.” I pressed, staring at him, waiting for an answer. Lucifer threw his head
back and belly laughed.

“You really don't hold back, do you?” Chuck asked me, avoiding my questions.

“Yeah. I'm kinda the opposite of you, in that sense. Why are you here now? Did you decide
that you actually give a shit about your kids and humanity? Or are you just slummin' it for
funsies?” I quipped, dryly.
“I will admit that I'm not a perfect father.” Chuck started, and I interrupted him with a loud
snort.

“That's like saying that Hitler was only a little flawed.” I breathed.

“You didn't deserve what Gadreel did to you. I'm disappointed in his behavior. I am sorry for
that. I wanted to see if things would resolve themselves, before I stepped in.” Chuck
explained. I scoffed and tried to keep my itch to throw his coffee in his face, in check.

“I resolved them for you. What do you want? If you're here to offer me a shitty apology, then
you've done that. I don't accept.” I huffed, rage boiling hot in my body.

“Yes, Chuck, why are you here?” Lucifer asked him. Chuck sighed and looked like he was
praying for patience. What a dick.

“Father, I told you that she was insolent. She doesn't deserve to be graced with your
presence.” Michael announced, materializing next to the table. I grabbed Chuck's cup of
coffee and threw the contents in Michael's face, from where I was sitting. Lucifer guffawed
and Michael growled dangerously. Chuck just blinked.

“Get bent, Fuckface. Can’t you go brown-nose someone else for an hour?” I sneered at
Michael. Michael took a step closer to the table and Chuck finally turned to address him.

“I don't need your input, Michael. You can go.” Chuck dismissed him, but Michael didn't
move.

“Can I borrow your angel blade, Luci?” I asked, not taking my eyes off of the angry coffee
covered angel.

“Anything for you, Sunshine.” Lucifer agreed, happily. Before Michael could retort, Chuck
held up a hand.

“You will not interfere with Dean or anyone she cares about. That is final.” Chuck told him,
before snapping his fingers. Michael disappeared and I leveled Chuck with a glare. “I came,
because I wanted to offer you and your friends a chance to tell your loved ones goodbye.”
Chuck finally admitted. I gave him a stiff nod. “Talk it over and let me know. I'll be able to
hear you, if you say my name.” He told me.

“Are you gonna let Luce go back to heaven, if he wants?” I said, instead. Lucifer made a
surprised noise next to me.

“I suppose there is no reason to keep you banished, Son. You're welcome to come and go,
should you so choose. I know you've become rather fond with some of the humans and
demons on earth and in hell.” Chuck agreed.

“That's the lamest apology I've ever heard. And that counts the apology you just gave me. No
wonder he likes it down here, when you treat him like that. It's okay, Luce. I promise we'll
stay besties, no matter what happens. Sam and I care about you. I know that Lilith, Rowena,
and Crowley do, too.” I replied. Lucifer didn't say anything as he looked at his father.
“I am sorry. Perhaps I acted too rashly. It's been good to see you, Son. I'll be in touch.” Chuck
announced, before disappearing.

“Dang, that's your dad? I'm so sorry, Luci.” I murmured, as Lucifer pulled me into a hug.

“Thank you, Dean. I've never had anyone stand up for me to my father, before.” Lucifer
breathed, as the diner came back to life. I squeezed him, tightly.

“Of course, Luce. I'll always have your back.” I promised, as I tried to keep my thoughts
from disappointing fathers.

‘Oh, all these minutes passing, sick of feeling used.

If you wanna break these walls down, you're gonna get bruised.
Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it.
Already choking on my pride, so, there's no use crying about it...

I'm headed straight for the castle.

They wanna make me their queen,
And there's an old man sitting on the throne there,
Saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean.
I'm headed straight for the castle.’
 The Dark of You
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "The Dark of You" -- Breaking Benjamin

‘It must have been inside my head.

I lost the hope that I have left, and now, at last, it comes to pass.
We sleep, we dream, we have no less.
Along the path, we lost our way.
It's all a game, that I must play, and now the weak that fall return to ash, defeated after all.

Fade away to the wicked world, we left, and become the dark of you.
Say a prayer for the wounded heart within, as I become the dark of you.’

Chapter Thirty-Two:

The news from Chuck had mixed reactions. Most everyone did want a chance to say
goodbye, but most of us had resolved that we had already said our peace. I didn't think that
there was anything that I could say that would give me anymore closure than I already have.
It would be too painful to see them again.

I was surprised that no one wanted to say goodbye in person. I hadn't expected that. I didn't
want to see them, but I did want to see someone. I wanted to see Mom and I wanted to give
Sam a chance to meet her. I just wanted to let her know that I've tried so fucking hard to raise
Sammy how she would.

Sam fidgeted next to me nervously. The two of us were sitting on the porch at Bobby's. I was
waiting till he was ready, before I called for Chuck. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he
nodded.

“I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Dean.” Sammy told me, nervously.

“Yeah, me too, Sammy. Hopefully, he'll agree. She's gonna love you. She already did. You're
literally the best kid ever. How could she not?” I promised him. He gave me an easy grin and
I smiled back. “I love you, Sammy.” I told him.

“I love you, too, Dean. Let's call him. We're ready.” Sam decided. I nodded and took a deep
breath to try and settle my nerves.

“Chuck,” I said, loudly. As soon as I said his name, he appeared. Sam jumped, next to me.

“What the fuck?” He exclaimed, unable to stop himself. I snorted next to him. “That's God?!”
He whisper-yelled. I nodded. “Weird. I thought he'd be taller or something.”

“You called?” Chuck replied.

“So, we don't want to see them. I spoke to everyone and we think that it would be too painful
to say goodbye, again. But, uh, would it be possible to see our mom? Sammy never got to
really meet her and I just want to let Mom know that I'm really trying to raise him the way
that she would want.” I said, before I could lose my nerve. Chuck's face softened and he
nodded.

“Of course, Dean. I'll give you some privacy.” Chuck agreed. My breath caught in my throat
and I gave Sam a nervous glance.

Mom materialized and she looks just like I remember. She's in her white nightgown and she
still looks so beautiful. God, I've missed her. I sobbed and she walked over to us. We both
stood up, as she pulled us into a tight hug.

“Mom?” I croaked.

“I'm here, Baby. I'm so proud of you both. You haven't been able to see me, but I've been
watching over you. You've been so strong. I couldn't have done a better job, if I tried. You're
so beautiful and Sam is so handsome. I wish that life had been kinder to us and you had had a
normal life. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I had to leave you so early.

“You've surpassed any of my wishes. You're such good people, and so smart. You go out of
your way to help others who need it. You love each other and take care of each other. You've
found a family for yourselves, who love and accept you. What more could a mother want?

“I've had a long talk with your father and I'm horrified by his actions. I swear to you both that
I would never stand for the shit that he pulled. He was not that man, when I knew him. I can't
fathom a life that he would be so callous and cruel and selfish. Don't become like him. You're
better than that. Stay kind and soft, and hard, when you need to, but don't let anger and hate
fuel you, like he did. Okay? Can you promise me that?” Mom asked us.

“I promise, Mom.” Sammy spoke up first.

“Thank you, Baby.” Mom murmured.

“I promise, too.” I breathed, still crying.

“I'll be watching over you both. I love you. Keep taking care of each other. I have to go, but I
promise that you're never alone.”
Sam and I took up residence in my room at Bobby's. I cried more than I thought was possible.
I just couldn't stop. My head felt fuzzy and heavy and exhausted. Sam and I cuddled and tried
to process our visit with our late mother. I felt shell shocked. I still can't believe that Chuck
allowed it, but I was so grateful.

I was running on fumes and knew that I would cry myself to sleep soon. I had no appetite and
made no move to get out of bed.

We had explained our request to Ellen and she must have spoken to Bobby, because they left
us to our grief. As good as it was to see Mom, I just wanted her back, the second that she was
gone. I knew that we had made the right choice in not seeing the others that we lost. I knew
that I wouldn't be able to handle it, even on my best day, and I certainly was not at my best.

Sam and I made our way to the diner kitchen and I saw Gabe and Benny chatting about
recipes and new features. Benny wrapped his arms around me, when he saw me. I knew that I
looked a mess, but I just didn't have the energy to care. It doesn't matter if I look like shit,
when I'm baking. I relaxed into his embrace and burrowed into it.

My eyes were red and swollen. My nose was chafed and my throat ached. I still felt like I
could cry at the drop of a hat, but I was actively trying to rein it in.

Finishing the pies for Cain would be a nice distraction. Sam wanted to help with the last two
pies and I was happy to let him. His readiness and excitement to help counters my
melancholy nicely. I was so fucking thankful for him.

“Oh, Chére, I'm so sorry, Mon Cœur, but I'm so proud of you for going after what you
needed.” Benny told me, as he kept his arms wrapped around me. Tears spilled from my eyes
and soaked his shirt. I let out a broken whine and couldn't stop myself from falling apart,
again. My body shook and he just held me.

“Deano, Sam and I will care of the pies. Why don't you and Benny go take a break?” Gabe
suggested.

I nodded, and let Benny lead me outside. I don't know how I'm still not cried out. Everything
aches and I feel so colossally drained.
“How are you feeling, Darlin'?” Benny asked me, as I leaned my head on his shoulder. I took
my time thinking about his question, before trying to answer it.

“I don't know. I'm just… I'm doing my best. Ellen knows a therapist. I'm gonna go, when I'm
ready. Cas and Meg wanna plan a road trip with me and Sam. I think that after that, maybe. I
still need to go see Cain and thank him. I need to see Cas and try to catch my breath with
him. Everything feels jumbled right now. It's stifling being here, in town.” I admitted, hoping
that I was making some semblance of sense.

“It sounds like you have a game plan in mind, Chére. I think it sounds like a good one. There
is time to figure everything out. We'll all help you. You'll figure out the rest.”

‘Let go, when all has come to life.

We live, we breathe, we die.
They call me to the light, forever lost in time, with every time we find.
We feed, we burn, we lie.
The fall of humankind, the everlasting light…

Fade away to the wicked world, we left, and I become the dark of you.
Say a prayer for the wounded heart within, as I become the dark of you…

Save this selfish world.’

 Everybody Goes to Hell
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestions: "Everybody Goes to Hell" -- Candi Carpenter,
"Werewolf" -- Motionless in White

‘I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm a pagan, sold my soul to Carl Sagan.
And I know that's your worst nightmare coming true.
Remember, when you said you love god, more than you love me.
No wonder I have these abandonment issues.

I might be a witch, because I like burning candles.

And I have a crystal collection,
But you believe you're possessed by a man, who offers you cosmic protection.

Don't pray for me, I don't need to be forgiven.

Everybody goes to hell, in somebody else's religion.
We all want to have the answers, and we all want to go to heaven.
But everybody goes to hell, in somebody else's religion.’

Chapter Thirty-Three:

Sam and I couldn't decide on a singular pie type to bring for Cain, so we ended up bringing
quite a few with us. Gabe had two dollies with crates built into it that we took. One was
packed securely full of miscellaneous desserts. The other was packed full of different types of
food, packaged so they could be frozen and reheated. I doubted that Cain really got out ever,
so we were bringing some treats that he would hopefully enjoy.

I was so grateful and I didn't want him to think that I wasn't. But more than that, it gave
Sammy and I something to do, and I was wholeheartedly embracing decent distractions these
days. We both were.
This time, it was Lucifer that took us to the outskirts of Cain's property. He had made it a
point to be around more. I knew that he had briefly flitted to heaven, but didn't remain there.
He seemed to like having the option, but preferred to stay on earth or below it. I'm sure he
had oodles more freedom, that way.

Sam and I were walking towards Cain's cabin, singing along to some newer music that Jo had
recommended. She thought I might appreciate some newer metal, and she wasn't wrong. To
my surprise, Sammy seemed to like it just as much. He didn't gripe about it being old-timer
music, like it did with the classics. I was pleasantly tickled by it.

“I can feel you.

I can hear you, howling in my bones.
There's an evil lurkin' in the dark.
Ever shifting, skin is ripping, as you take control.
I can't tell where you end, and where I start.”

I giggled, as Sam whipped out some stellar dance moves. I found myself wishing that I wasn't
playing music on my phone, so I could take pictures and record this sweet memory. Sammy
looked so damn happy and it's something that I knew that I'd never get tired of witnessing.

“I could be up all night, but I'm paralyzed, when the creature comes alive…
‘Cause it's fight or flight, in the full moonlight.
You can run, but you can't hide.
I could be honest.
I could be human.
I could become the silver bullet, in your head, but no one can break my heart, like I can.”

Sam's giddy energy was contagious. I let go of my dolly and twirled in a circle, as my hair
moved through the wind with me. I shook my hips and gave a small shimmy, before grabbing
Sam's hands and dancing with him. Cain wasn't going anywhere. We had time to finish
jamming to one of our new favorite songs.

“Bleed the neon from the bite marks, ever bittersweet.

Smile for the camera, but don't flash your teeth.
Let the bodies hit the dancefloor, to this heartbreak beat.
I feel like somebody's watchin' me.”

Sam lifted me off of my feet and spun me around, before dipping me down low. I laughed,
and then spun him around, again. We kept dancing, until the song came to an end.

Once we grabbed our dollies, I noticed that Cain was on his porch, watching us with an
amused grin. I smiled and waved. Sam noticed, too, and gave an excited wave. It didn't take
us long to reach the cabin.

“Dean, what do I owe for this visit?” Cain asked, with a small smile still on his face. Before I
could say anything, Sam chimed in.

“Seriously, Dude, you need a cell phone or something. I don't even think that we could send
carrier pigeons here. Dean forgot the pies, last time, and I wanted to help make ‘em and meet
you. So, we brought pie!” Sam explained. I laughed at his energy. You can see the excitement
radiating off of him.

“All of that is pie?” Cain asked, the surprise on his face was evident. I shook my head, as
Sam and I snickered.

“No, we brought other desserts, and some food that would freeze well, so it could be reheated
later. I didn't really know what you liked, so we brought a variety of the classics. I work in a
diner and the food is amazing.” I replied. Sam nodded.

“She's modest, but she's a great cook. Her baking is awesome.” Sam added. I blushed, as
Cain laughed.

“Why don't you come in and we can chat? Maybe you can help me eat some of this.” Cain
suggested.

He led us inside and we wheeled the food inside. We followed him into the kitchen and
started to unpack the haul. Cain seemed surprised and touched, that we had brought so much
with us. The look of gratitude that he gave me spoke volumes.

“I do appreciate all of this, but you didn't have to go through all of this trouble, for just me.”
Cain thanked us. Sam rolled his eyes and stared at Cain sardonically, as I mirrored his
actions.

“What do you mean, ‘Just you?’ Without you, I wouldn't have been able to take Alastair or
Azazel out. Hush. You deserve good things, too, ya know? You didn't have to trust me with
the First Blade, but you did. Do you know a lot of people who would just loan a sixteen year
old something that important?” I quipped, heatedly. I wasn't just gonna sit here and let Cain
put himself down, like that.

“I'm not used to people caring about me, like that. Thank you, Dean, truly. Thank you both.”
Cain told us, softly.

I wrapped my arms around him, and I knew that I caught him by surprise. It took him a
second to relax into it. It didn't take long, for Sam to join in, too.

“It's what friends are for. And we're friends, aren't we?” I mused, before pulling away. Cain
nodded, with unshed tears in his eyes.

“Friends, I would very much like that.” Cain agreed.

“Good! Because we're hard to get rid of.” Sam told him.

“Like a fungus,” I deadpanned.

“Cain, for real, though, do you ever leave here? Like, why not get a cell phone? Do you have
Wi-Fi? Do you know what the internet is? Have you ever heard of Netflix?” Sam bombarded
him with nonstop questions, as we busied ourselves with putting away the food.
By the time we left and were walking back to the outskirts of Cain's property, hours later,
Cain had begrudgingly agreed that investing in a phone made sense. He hadn't told Sam that
he had a landline, or that I now had his number, and he had ours. He had heard of the internet,
but didn't have Wi-Fi, to Sam's dismay. He did promise that he would look into it, so we
could have potential movie nights, using my Netflix account, since the man didn't have one.

Cain wasn't in the habit of leaving his little oasis, unless he absolutely need to, but admitted
that it would be nice to see some of the world, since his rage was now in control. He couldn't
die, and was the only one who could wield the First Blade, again. As long as he didn't use it,
he wouldn't have the urge to kill. He kept it locked safely away in an impressive panic room
and safe.

Sam and Cain got along splendidly, but I never had any doubt that they wouldn't get on. I
think that Cain was tickled by Sam's youthful energy. It was much more intense than mine
was. Cain had even hinted that he would like to see the diner in person, and the coffeehouse,
once it was actually built.

Thinking about future plans was beginning to fill my chest with warmth, instead of dread. I'm
not sure what changed, but it actually feels like I might have a future now. A future for
Sammy is what I've been fighting for. I think that for the first time, it feels like I might
actually have a future, too, and I'm so fucking grateful for it.

I have so many things I still wanna do. I still have so many things that I wanna see. I wanna
keep building my relationships and my friendships. I wanna keep growing as a person. I
wanna see if Cas really is the soulmate that he feels like.

For the first time, in a long time, it feels like I'll have time to figure it all out. Who would've
thought?

‘I'm sorry, Dad.

I'm a heathen, I'm happy, with my demons.
I discovered they're a part of who I am.
And I know you'll be embarrassed,
When you see the truth about my life, and sexuality on instagram.

But your version of god, sounds like my abusive ex,

The one I was too scared to leave.
Do I really deserve to be tortured forever, because I no longer believe?...

So, ring the bells, light the effigy.

Burn the witch, if that's what you think of me.
I didn't lose my faith, I threw it away…

Don't pray for me.

I don't need to be forgiven.’
 Everything's Magic
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Everything's Magic" -- Angels & Airwaves

‘And do you ever feel like you're alone?

And do you ever wish you'd be unknown?
I can say that I have.
I can say that I have.
And do you ever feel things here aren't right?
And do you ever feel the time slip by?
And I can say that I have.
And I can say that I have.

So, hear this please.

And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly.
And look for the stars, as the sun goes down.
Each breath that you take, has a thunderous sound.
Everything, everything's magic.
Just sit back, and hold on, but hold on tight.
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride.
And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine.
Everything, everything's magic.’

Chapter Thirty-Four:

“Dean, did you ever think that we'd be back here visiting, Honey?” Cas asked, as we strolled
around the apiary. I glanced up at him and smiled, unable to help myself. He just makes me
so damn happy.

“I really hoped that we would be able to… When everything started to go down, I didn't
honestly think that it was in the cards for us, Angel. Did you?” I breathed. He stopped
walking and pulled me closer to him. He peered down at me and cupped the side of my face.
I let out a happy sigh, content to be in his embrace. He locked eyes with me and gave me the
softest, big blue eyed look of absolute adoration.

“I had hoped so, too, but I was unsure. The first time that we were here, was so special to me.
I didn't know everything that I know now… Neither of us did. I didn't think that what I felt
for you could grow, but it has. I think that I've learned to stopped underestimating us. I've
never felt like this with anyone else, before. I never thought that we'd already have survived
so much together.

“The things that you make me feel… You make me feel brave, and safe, and seen, and
understood, in a way that no one else ever has. You're happy to accompany me to see the bees
and you don't mock me for it. You let yourself be seen and vulnerable with me and I know
how difficult that is for you to do. You trust me in a way that breaks my heart, because I
know you've never let yourself before, and builds it up, because you've chosen me.

“We're still so young, and we have so many years ahead of us… I can honestly say that I
don't believe that this is just young love. I am uninterested in anyone else in this way. I don't
think that it's possible for anyone else to make me feel how you do. I am not sure if I believe
in soulmates, like my brother did, but if I did, you would be it for me. The way we are
together, doesn't feel anything less than fated.” Cas confessed to me.

A few teardrops fell down my cheeks. I hurried to brush them away. I didn't want Castiel to
think that they were anything, but happy tears. God, this beautiful man always tugs at my
heartstrings and makes me feel so fucking safe.

“God, Cas, I fucking love you. You know that, right? I wanna marry you, someday. I dunno if
that's something you believe in or not. I wasn't sure that it was something that I ever really
believed in, after I saw what happened to my parents… But seeing Bobby and Ellen gave me
hope.

“I want everything with you. I wanna keep growing, separately and together. It finally feels
like we have time to. It feels like we have a fighting chance. Even if it didn't, I'd be fighting
for us, anyway. I don't think that there will ever be a day that I won't want to fight for you.

“Even before you realized it, you were such a bright spot for me. I couldn't afford to get to
know people, before. There was too much that could go wrong. But it was impossible to not
want to get to know you. You never made me feel dumb or like I wasn't good enough. I never
felt beautiful, before you.

“I know it's a stereotypical self-esteem thing. My dad never made it secret how much I
looked like my mom. He didn't call me beautiful, like he did her. He would tear me down. I
know that's not much of a surprise. I only wore makeup to cover up bruises, or to help
increase my tips. I had to make money to pay for the bills, ya know? He would just accuse
me of whoring myself out or wanting attention.

“I never let myself think otherwise. I still have my body dysmorphia, but it's not always as
bad as it used to be. I would go so long without looking at myself or my reflection. I'd
actively avoid it. You don't make me feel like he did.
“I know that I have a lot of things to work through. I know that I have a long way to go.
There are a lot of things that we haven't talked about. I know that I need to go to therapy. I
promised Ellen that I would go, after our roadtrip. I'm gonna keep my word. I know that I
need it. Sammy and I both do… I wanna give myself the best chance to succeed. I don't
wanna be this fragile, broken girl forever.

“I'm happy that I'm here with you. I think that things are finally starting to look up, for us,
don't you?” I poured my heart out to him.

He nodded, before capturing my lips with his own. I melted into his embrace. He wrapped his
arms around me and I stood on my tiptoes, so I could lick into his mouth. Our tongues
slipped and slid against each other. I moaned against his mouth, as he dominated the kiss. I
knew that I needed air soon, but I wasn't ready for it to end.

“I want this forever, too, Dean. I want everything with you, Honey. Everything.”

‘And do you ever lay awake, at night?

And do you ever tell yourself, don't try?
Don't try and let yourself down.
Don't try and let yourself down.
And do you ever see yourself in love?
And do you ever take a chance, my love?
Because you know that I will.
Because you know that I will.

So, hear this please.

And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly.
And look for the stars, as the sun goes down.
Each breath that you take, has a thunderous sound.
Everything, everything's magic.
Just sit back, and hold on, but hold on tight.
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride.
And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine.
Everything, everything's magic.’
 Tonight (Best You Ever Had)
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit: "Tonight (Best You Ever Had)" -- John Legend featuring Ludacris

‘Ain't this what you came for?

Don't you wish you came more?
Girl, what you playin' for?
Aye, come on.
Come on, let me kiss that.
Ooh, I know you miss that.
What's wrong?
Let me fix that.
Twist that.

Baby, tonight's the night, I let you know.

Baby, tonight's the night, we lose control.
Baby, tonight you need that.
Tonight, believe that…
Tonight, I'll be the best you ever had.’

Chapter Thirty-Five:

I don't know, if it's because of our love confessions, but I felt so bare and open with Cas. It
left me wanting more. I was honest. I do want everything with him. It scared me, but not
enough to drive me away.

“You're thinking so loud, Honey.” Cas teased me. I blushed and worried my lip, before I
made myself meet his gaze. I glanced at his lips, and then back at his eyes.

“I just… I want to have sex. With you.” I told him, softly. His expression told me that he
didn't think that he heard me right. “I just… I know what it's not supposed to be like. I don't
want to remember them, when I think about sharing myself in that way. You're the only one I
want to give myself to. I want to remember you. I want this with you. No one makes me feel
like you do, Cas. I want you, please.”

“Dean,” he whispered, softly. His eyes darkened and he took a deep breath, like he was trying
to control himself. I stepped closer to him and stood on my tiptoes, so I could press my lips
against his.

I nipped at his bottom lip, until he parted his lips for me. I licked into his mouth and gripped
the front of his shirt, so I could pull him closer to me. I moaned into his mouth and his
control snapped. He quickly dominated the kiss and backed me up, against a nearby barn. He
moved his mouth away from mine, only to suck and bite his way down my neck.

I couldn’t control the sounds that fell from my lips. He was making me feel so fucking good.
I was on my tiptoes and straining myself as much as I could. He was so much taller than me.
He seemed to notice that I was struggling, because he gripped my thighs and picked me up.

I shamelessly ground myself down, against him, cried out at the delicious friction. I was
suddenly glad that I had chosen a sundress to wear today. I grabbed his chin and turned his
face toward mine, so I could claim his lips. Our tongues moved against each other in such a
sinful way.

I felt like I was going to melt, against him. His hands moved to my backside and squeezed. I
mewed against him, and jerked my hips.

I jerked away from him, when I heard Balthazar whistling. I didn't want him seeing this much
of me. Cas set me down on my feet and seemed to realize that we were still very much in
public. He tried to fix his pants, as I smoothed my dress.

“Take me home.” I told him, as Balthazar came into eyesight.

“Are you sure, Dean?” Cas asked me. I nodded and pressed my thighs together, trying to will
away the wetness that pooled in my panties.

“Yes. I'd rather spread out in bed, but if we don't go soon, I'm going to stay all over you, and
then I'll end up fucking your brains out in the car.” I replied. He smirked at my candor and I
couldn't find it in myself to be embarrassed about it.

“Let's go.”

I actively tried to keep my distance from Cas, as we drove home. I didn't trust that I could
keep it PG, if I didn't keep my hands to myself. I didn't even home his hand, and we're
usually always touching in some regard.
I grabbed Cas' hand, as soon as we parked, and led him up the stairs to my apartment. As
soon as the door was closed and locked, my hands were on him. We didn't waste any time,
before fusing our lips together. He picked me up and carried to my bedroom, like I weighed
nothing.

He tossed me onto the bed, and I felt myself drip between my legs at the rough treatment. He
pulled off his shirt and toed off his shoes, so he could pull off his pants, and rid himself of his
boxer briefs. My mouth went dry and I felt ten degrees hotter.

I pushed myself off of the bed and started to wiggle out of the dress, before he put a hand on
mine to stop me.

“Let me, Honey.” He breathed. I looked up at him and nodded, easily. He unzipped me and
slowly, slid the straps off of my shoulders, and dress off of my body. He sank to his knees and
pulled off my boots, and tongued me through my underwear.

I cried out and tried to still my hips. Cas looked up at me, like I was the hottest thing that he
had ever seen. I reached my hand out and cupped his cheek. He gave me a small smile, before
lapping at me, through the lace. My fingers flew to his hair.

He finally took pity on me, and pulled off my soaked undergarment. We stayed looking at
each other. I could feel his hot breath against me. He used the tip of his tongue to barely
touch my clit.

“Get on the bed. No touching yourself.” He ordered. I nodded, hurriedly, before doing what
he asked. I clambered onto the bed, gracelessly. He laughed, before settling his body between
my legs. He put each leg over a shoulder, before bringing his tongue back to my core.

“Fuck,” I whimpered. I dug my fingers into the comforter, as he began to eat me out. I was
already so worked up. I knew it wouldn't take me long. He slipped two fingers inside of me,
as he flicked his tongue. I cried out, my orgasm taking me by surprise.

He didn't stop or let me ride it out. I tried to push his head away, but he wouldn't budge. He
kept lapping at me, until I came again, screaming. I was vaguely away of the liquid gushing
from me.

He kissed his way up my body and wrapped his wet fingers around his cock. I licked my lips
and nodded. I wanted it. I was beyond ready.

“Are you sure?” He asked me, again.

“I'm sure. I'm on birth control. I have an implant. I wanna feel you, Angel. Fuck me, please.”
I cried. I was so turned on, it was unreal. Tears welled in my eyes, threatening to fall. It was
overwhelming in the best way possible.

“I’ll take care of you, Baby. I promise.” He breathed, before wiping away a few stray tears
from my face. He rubbed himself against me, before slowly pushing in.
I gasped, trying to get used to his size. I felt so full. It wasn't a bad feeling. He slid in easily, I
was too wet for him not to. I gripped his shoulders, and hooked a leg over his middle, pulling
him closer to me. I surged closer to him and captured his lips with my own.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and turned the kiss filthy. We moved against each other
a bit awkwardly, at first, before finding a comfortable rhythm. I could feel him everywhere.

It was so easy to get lost in his endless blue eyes. I got sucked in, every time. He didn't look
at me in a way that anyone else ever did. This was the same, but new, at the same time. I felt
like the only thing in his world. He felt like the only thing in mine.

I tried to keep my eyes open, as much as I could. It felt so fucking good. I never wanted to
forget a moment of this. Our hands were everywhere. It was hard to tell where he ended and
where I began. I never wanted it to stop.

All too soon, I felt myself hurdling towards my release. He kissed me and I felt myself
shatter. He jerked his hips and followed me. When we finally came down from our highs, we
were collapsed together, on the bed. I felt sweaty and boneless, and I never wanted to move.

“Dean, we should shower.” Cas' voice filled my ears and I grimaced. I slowly entered
consciousness and became all too aware that we were still wrapped up in each other and
sticky.

“Don't wanna move,” I whispered. Cas chuckled and pulled me to my feet.

After we showered and changed the bedding, we went back to bed. I was exhausted and Cas
didn't have any complaints about taking another nap. We didn't have any plans for the rest of
the day, and I couldn't think of a better way to spend it.

‘I hit you, with the best stroke, freestyle, and then the breaststroke.
Till you're blowin’ cigarette smoke, and now the bed's broke.
So, what he gon' do now?
Fuck it, round two now.
Work it out, then we cool down, cool down.’
 Lovin' On Me
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Lovin' On Me" -- Jack Harlow

‘I don't like no whips and chains, and you can't tie me down.
But you can whip your lovin' on me, Baby.
Whip your lovin' on me, Baby.

I'm vanilla, Baby.

I'll choke you, but I ain't no killer, Baby.’

Chapter Thirty-Six:

We made it to the Farmer's Market, downtown Lawrence, when Meg met up with us. She
took one look at our intertwined hands and looked at our faces, suspiciously.

“Something's different.” She declared, like she already knew what it was, but wanted to hear
us say it. I blushed and looked away from her. Cas just kissed my head and shrugged,
nonchalantly. She gasped, and hit Cas' chest with her hand. “Oh, my Hades. You had sex!”
She exclaimed.

I blushed harder and tried to ignore the judgmental glares we were now receiving. Cas pulled
me to his side and wrapped an arm around me, like he was trying to physically shield me
from public scrutiny.

“I don't think people three states over heard you.” I deadpanned. Cas huffed a laugh and Meg
didn't even try to look apologetic.

“Why are we even here, when I could be getting the dirty, dirty details?” She demanded. I
shrugged, not knowing how to answer that.

“Wasn't it your idea to come today?” Cas asked her. She just scoffed.

“Yeah, because I know you both enjoy it. And no offense, Clarence, but I'd rather be
cumming with Cupcake, than coming here.” She replied. I snickered and Cas didn't have any
arguments there. “We both know that it's been too long, since I've been able to kiss all on
your girlfriend.”

“You act like I ever say no to you.” I told her. She mulled over my words for a whopping
thirty seconds, before pulling me from Cas, and flushed next to her.

She affixed her lips to mine, and I gasped, as she licked into my mouth. I parted my lips for
her, easily, as I got lost in the sensation. She slid one hand to the side of my face, and the
other to my backside, keeping me pressed against her. I slipped an arm around her waist, and
slid tongue against hers.

“Wanna get out of here, Cupcake?” Meg asked me, already sounding wrecked. I nodded, as
Cas led us back to his car. He pinned us to the vehicle, before kissing Meg, and then me. He
quickly made me forget anything, but the feel of them. “Clarence, you're driving. I want her
in the back with me.” Meg decided, as we broke apart.

I got into the backseat and Cas got into the driver's seat. It didn't take long for us all to get
situated. Meg yanked off her shirt, and got me out of mine, before pulling off my leggings.
Before I could say anything, her mouth was on me, and my underwear were in tatters on the
backseat.

I cursed and Cas adjusted the rearview mirror, so he could watch us, while he drove. I was
hoping that no one tried to look into the car, because I knew full well what they would see.
Cas and I locked eyes, through his reflection in the mirror.

Meg didn't waste any time pulling out all the tricks, making me writhe, and climax on her
face, three times, before we reached my apartment. Meg shoved her shirt on and helped me
dress, before we hurried upstairs.

We left a trail of shoes and clothing leading from the front door to my bed. I vaguely
remember Cas shutting and locking the door, before we all fell onto the bed together.

“I wanna watch.” Meg told us, as she started rubbing herself. I nodded, and looked up at Cas,
not sure how he wanted to position us.

“Meg, go sit with your back to the headboard.” Cas told her. She nodded, and moved
gracefully. “Get on all fours, Baby. Let's show Meg how sexy you look, Dean.” He purred.

I felt my eyes glaze over with wanting. I moved to my stomach and then crawled up to Meg.
She opened legs and kissed me. I moaned against her, as I felt Cas thrust into my heat. After a
few thrusts, my arms wouldn't support my weight, anymore.

He gently pushed down on in between my shoulder and I fell face-first onto Meg. His grip
kept my ass up. I kissed her abdomen, before bringing my mouth to her dripping core. I
glanced up at her and her eyes were hooded. I moaned, as Cas fucked me, while I went down
on her.

It felt like all of my senses were magnified. I could feel everything. Our bodies were moving
together in perfect sync. Meg got louder, as it got harder and harder for me to concentrate on
my ministrations. Cas was hitting it just right. He moved his fingers to my clit and I moaned,
loudly, against Meg's clit.

“Dean, Dean, Dean, fuck!” Meg cried out, as she jerked against me. My hips gyrated against
Cas' fingers, as I came. Cas roared behind me, as I wailed. My back arched, as he slammed
into me. I couldn't come down. My body didn't seem to want to stop jerking.

Slowly, everything seemed to slip away, and left me in a content haze. I couldn't focus on
anything, and it felt like I had floated out of my body.

“There you are, Cupcake,” Meg murmured. I hummed in response and gave a lazy stretch.
“You feeling okay?” She asked me. I nodded.

“So good. I felt like I was floating.” I breathed, still unwilling to open my eyes.

“You might've been in subspace.” Cas replied, quietly. I just hummed, again.

“It's when sex is so intense, and you feel so safe, that you go into that state of mind. It's not a
bad thing.” Meg explained. I nodded, and just snuggled closer to both of them. “I think
Cupcake is still tired, Clarence.”

“We're all still tired. Why don't we sleep, and then we can get something to eat, when we
wake up?”

‘I don't like no whips and chains, and you can't tie me down.
But you can whip your lovin' on me, Baby.
Whip your lovin' on me, Baby.’
 Where Did I Go Right?/Epilogue
Chapter Notes

I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ITS CHARACTERS.

Music Credit/Song Suggestion: "Where Did I Go Right?" -- Hilary Duff

Author's Note:
Wow. I can't believe it's finished! Be sure to subscribe to the Wayward series. More
installments are coming. The next/last chapter will be a soundtrack list/guide. I have at
least two installments planned out, but not written just yet. I opted to finish writing this
in its entirety, before posting any chapters. I've been hyper-fixated on it, since I started
writing it in February, this year. I hope that you all enjoyed it, as much as I enjoyed
delving into the Supernatural fandom, and bringing this to life. Please review, if you feel
so inclined. All negative comments will be deleted.

‘Where did I go right?

How did I get you?
How come all this blue sky, is around me, and you found me?
Where did I go right?
How did I get you?
I don't know how I did, but somehow, now I do.’

It's hard to believe that it's been six months, since everything went down. I still feel like I
need to pinch myself, sometimes. It doesn't feel real, that it's all over, and the next chapter of
my life has started, and is finally here.

We had to wait two months, after everything was said and done, before taking our celebratory
roadtrip. No one wanted Cas, Meg, or Sammy to miss anymore school, than they already had.
I didn't wanna be the reason that anyone had to repeat a grade. Gabe, Meg's dad, Bobby, and
Ellen, all agreed with me. It was the next school break.

The roadtrip had been a freaking blast. Jo had ended up going with us. We had all grown
close, after I kinda moved into Bobby's. I was there sometimes. Sometimes, I stayed at my
own apartment. When I wanted adult time, I stayed at the apartment. Jo, bless her, even got a
separate motel room, with Sammy a couple of nights, during the trip.

The three of us never did really define our relationship as a triad. Meg wasn't really dating
anyone else or looking for anything, apart from seeing us. I don't think that she wants to be
tied down, so to speak. She still lives the single life, but spends time with us, when she wants
to. She and I are nowhere near as close as Cas and I are, and that's okay. It works for us.

Sam started therapy before I did. I got my GED, last month. And I've been helping Gabe plan
and open Treats and Brews. He paid out the ass to get it open and built in four months.
Benny, Charlie, and I all officially left the diner, and were solely employed at the
coffeehouse. Charlie was a wiz with anything coffee, as it turns out.

Gabe hired this wonderful, flirty lady, Pamela Barnes, as the manager of Treats and Brews.
She had a quick wit and a wicked sense of humor. She could tame even the crankiest of
patrons. I was learning a lot from her, well, a lot from everyone, really.

I was known for more than just my time at the club, or for being John Winchester's daughter.
It was a good feeling. A lot of people knew from the coffeehouse, or because I'm one of
Sammy's guardians.

For the first time, in a long time, it felt like I was actually worth something. It's not
something that I ever really thought was possible.

I found myself praying to Mom, a few times a day. Little things would happen that let me
know that she heard me. Her favorite songs would come on the radio, or I'd see her favorite
birds in the sky. I never did pray to Chuck. I didn't have anything to say to the guy.

I kept in regular contact with Cain, Crowley, Lilith, Lucifer, and Rowena. I still went to the
club, sometimes, to see some of them. I had a groupchat going with all of them that was
super entertaining.

Sammy and his friends would often come into the coffee shop, after school, and work on
their homework, with some snacks. It was a good feeling, being able to be present, with
them.

Cas and I were even closer, than we were before. I know that we're not out of the woods, and
that we'll have more trials and tribulations. But, I was still grateful for our growth and
progress. I know that once I start unpacking things in therapy, that we might need some
sessions together, just because of my trauma. Cas has already promised me that he would
gladly go with me, anytime. His support meant the world to me.

Balthazar was even warming up to me. We had been back to the apiary a few times, since the
roadtrip. I was starting to understand Cas' fascination with the bees. It was peaceful, watching
them. We got all of our honey for the shop from Balthazar's farm. We kept pamphlets by the
register, advertising for his apiary, and we had people interested and asking questions all the
time.
I really loved my place in the world, these days. That's not something that I ever thought I'd
ever believe. It's crazy how drastically things can change in such a short time. I marveled
often at the fact that – somehow – I hadn't given up, and I was still alive. I was so close to just
ending it all and taking my own life, so many times. Mom must've been looking out for me.

“Dean, did you hear me?” Lisa Braeden, my new therapist, asked. I jumped, a little, and
forced myself to focus on her, and not the past however many months of my life.

“I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?” I asked, quietly. She offered me a sympathetic smile and
nodded.

“Can you tell me what brought you here today, Sweetheart?” She repeated her earlier inquiry.
I worried my bottom lip, before replying.

“Yeah, um, well, it's a long story, honestly. I dunno how much time you have, but I guess it
all started the day my mom died. She was killed by a demon, and burnt alive in a house fire.
My dad tried to save her, but couldn't. He had me grab my baby brother and get him out.
Things were never really the same after that. I, uh, I stopped being a kid that day, ya know? I
guess, things just kept getting worse, after that. Things finally came to a head, six months
ago.” I replied, before taking a greedy drink of my iced coffee.

“I have as much time, as you need today. Ellen mentioned that there was a lot of backstory,
and I didn't know how comfortable you would be speaking with me. You're welcome to share
anything that you're comfortable sharing. How does that sound?” Lisa offered. I nodded,
lamely.

“Yeah, okay. That, uh, that sounds good. Do I just start now? What do ya wanna know?” I
murmured, forcing myself to look at her and make eye contact.

“Why don't you tell me about how things changed, after you saved your brother, and then we
can work our way to the rest.” She suggested. I wiped my hands on my jean-clad thighs.

“Okay, yeah, I can do that.” I agreed.

“So, you saved Sam from the fire. What happened, after that?” She prodded. I took a shaky,
deep breath, before continuing.

“My dad made it clear that the only reason I was alive, when my mother wasn't, was to keep
Sammy safe. That's why I was here. It was my job to keep him safe, and really, it became my
job to keep Dad safe, too.” I began. I took another deep breath, trying to settle my nerves. I
looked down at the coffee table and I fiddled with my napkin.

Well, here's goes nothin’.

 ‘I'm always driving, forget where I'm going.
Should've turned left, but I was singing some song, and I…
I am arriving, as everyone's leaving, but there you are, waiting.
Something is wrong…

Makes no sense to me.

No, it isn't clear, but somehow, you're standing here.
Something gets to me, it's that nothing is wrong.

Where did I go right?

How did I get you?
How come all this blue sky is around me, and you found me?
Where did I go right?
How did I get you?
I don't know how I did…

But somehow, now I do.’

 Soundtrack Guide

There Will Be Peace Soundtrack:

1.) “Carry On My Wayward Son" – Kansas

2.) “You're On Your Own, Kid" – Taylor Swift
3.) “Kiss Me Like the World Is Ending" – Avril Lavigne featuring Mod Sun
4.) “First Date" – blink-182
5.) “Honey Bee" – Blake Shelton
6.) “Somewhere I Belong" – Linkin Park
7.) “Falling Fast” – Avril Lavigne
8.) “I Will Not Bow" – Breaking Benjamin
9.) “Man's World" – MARINA
10.) “you should see me in a crown" – Billie Eilish
11.) “Girl Like Me" – Dove Cameron
12.) “Nightmare" – Halsey
13.) “Home" – MGK featuring X Ambassadors & BeBe Rexha
14.) “It's My Life" – Bon Jovi
15.) “Into You" – Ariana Grande
16.) “Here's To Us" – Halestorm
17.) “Brand New Numb" – Motionless in White
18.) “Vigilante Shit" – Taylor Swift
19.) “Dirty Pretty" – In This Moment
20.) “more than life" – MGK featuring glaive
21.) “King" – Saint PHNX
22.) “in these walls (my house)" – MGK featuring PVRIS
23.) “Nothing Left to Lose" – The Pretty Reckless
24.) “Hell On Heels" – Pistol Annies
25.) “One for the Money" – Arankai
26.) “Take What You Want" – Post Malone featuring Ozzy Osbourne & Travis Scott
27.) “In Between" – Beartooth
28.) “pretty toxic revolver" – MGK
29.) “Without You" – Breaking Benjamin
30.) “Golden G String" – Miley Cyrus
31.) “Castle" – Halsey
32.) “The Dark of You" – Breaking Benjamin
33.) “Everybody Goes to Hell" – Candi Carpenter
34.) “Everything's Magic" – Angels & Airwaves
35.) “Tonight (Best You Ever Had)” – John Legend featuring Ludacris
36.) “Lovin' On Me" – Jack Harlow
37.) “Where Did I Go Right?” – Hilary Duff
Honorable Mentions:

 “Pour Some Sugar On Me" – Def Leppard

 “I Kissed a Girl" – Katy Perry
 “Players" – Coi Leray
 “American Horror Show" – SNOW WIFE
 “Country Grammar (Hot Shit) – Nelly
 “Shake It Off" – Taylor Swift
 “Poker Face" – Lady Gaga
 “Eye of the Tiger" – Survivor
 “Werewolf" – Motionless in White

Bonus Songs:

o “I'm Too Sexy" – Right Said Fred

o “Boyfriend" – Dove Cameron
o “Baby Got Back" – Sir Mix-A-Lot
o “Love is a Battlefield" – Pat Benatar
o “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)” – Big & Rich
o “Wanted Dead or Alive" – Bon Jovi
o “Friends in Low Places" – Garth Brooks
o “I'll Make a Man Out of You" – Danny Osmond (Mulan)
o “Honkytonk Badonkadonk" – Trace Adkins
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