DIVINE DO OVER – JESUS RESTORES

I first followed Christ believing, no–

hoping– that I was destined for something
greater than what my life was now. We were
going to be revolutionaries. I was one of
Messiah’s “Inner Circle.” It was
exhilarating, the crowds, the miracles, and
oh, the teaching; His words pierced our
souls and set our hearts aflame. Life was
filled with hope, the possibilities were
limitless, we were going to change the
World!

Jesus was different than any other man I had ever known. He trusted me; He believed in me. One
time, Rabbi Jesus told everyone that He was going to build His church upon me. Somehow, He
could see things in me that I couldn’t even see in myself. My name was always Simon which means,
“bruised reed”. Truth be told, it hasn’t been easy for me. I remember finishing my schooling and
then asking a rabbi if I could become his disciple, only to be rejected. He said I wasn’t good enough
and could never become like him. I know I studied harder than many of the others, but somehow, I
wasn’t good enough. My family had great hopes for me, but somehow, I had failed. Once again, I
had let them down. The look in my father’s eyes said it all: “Simon fails, again.” So, I returned to
what generations before me had done– fishing. It was honest, hard work and I despised it. I
dreamed of more; of changing the World… and yet my academic failures meant I would mend nets,
gut fish, and brave storms.

Jesus was different than any other rabbi. In fact, one day He reminded us, “You didn’t choose Me,
but I chose you!” One sentence from His lips healed the wounds my soul had suffered years earlier,
when the rabbis had rejected me as a disciple. He really knew me, and yet, somehow, chose me. I
mentioned He changed my name, no longer “Bruised Reed”– Jesus called me Peter, which means
“Rock.” Every time someone called forth my name, Peter, I was reminded of my destiny. I was
going to be one of the main Leaders He would build His church upon. I was going to be somebody,
do great exploits and be one of His closest confidants.

He often said things I didn’t fully comprehend. I loved His approval; in fact, I craved it! So, when
He said things, I didn’t understand, most of the time I would ponder it silently. Once in a while
though, I’d tell Him what I knew was true, and yet so often I was putting my “foot in my mouth.” I
always seemed to say the wrong things at the wrong time. Suddenly, He would see my weakness and
I would wonder if once again I might be rejected. So, I would just try harder, work a little longer– I
was going to be all that He said of me, even if it cost me all! While the other boys were afraid of the
storm, I was the one who stepped out of the boat and walked on water. I was the first to know for
certain that He was the Messiah. I was going to be Peter-ROCK!

Failure. It stings the human heart in a way no other wound could. I remember when my failures
were front and center stage. It started in the Garden of Gethsemane when Soldiers and the servant
of the High Priest came to arrest my LORD. I pulled out my sword and swung at a man. I meant to
kill him, but I only cut off the right ear of Malchus. Whoops, I had failed again. Jesus rebuked me
and then in one moment fixed my mistake; He miraculously healed the ear. Even in my failure, He
was a loving Father who covered my short comings. I remember at the sound of His voice; every
soldier fell to the ground and yet Jesus allowed them to take Him captive. It was all so confusing,
the ensuing chaos found me paralyzed with fear, feeling dazed and confused.

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 DIVINE DO OVER – JESUS RESTORES
Later that night while trying to keep warm be the fire near the place where they took Him, I was so
filled with fear, that a young servant girl who exposed my weakness. Just as Jesus prophesied
earlier, I denied Christ, not once or twice, but three times. Anguish engulfed my soul. I was
drowning in confusion and unbelief. The one Man who had believed in me, spoken words of life that
resonated at my hearts deepest level– I had betrayed Him. I was no better than Judas! When it
mattered, when it truly mattered, when He needed me…I had let Him down. He had hung on that
cross because of me! I now knew it was true; I would always and forever be Simon: “Bruised
Reed!”

I did the same thing Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden…retreated. Feeling overwhelmed
and despondent, I returned to the one thing I had always known I could do, fishing. Like Adam and
Eve, I didn’t run to God, but ran from Him. While some men loved fishing, I despised it; but now in
my pain, it felt like a “just sentence.” I resigned myself to life as a fisherman, the just consequences
of my failures. After all, I had missed God’s best for my life, I had abandoned the Messiah, and let
my brothers– the other ten– down. My pride had become my failure. I dreamed dreams that were
meant for greater men than I. In my youthful zeal, I had ignored the warnings of Christ. Why
hadn’t I listened? Why was I so hard-headed?

If I could only have a “do over”, I’d have done things differently. I would have risked looking
foolish and asked Him all the questions that flooded my mind. I would have joined Him in prayer.
He even told me that Satan wanted to sift me like wheat! How foolish I had squandered such
precious time with the King of Kings! I had been so confident that Jesus was wrong. But He was
never wrong; not once.

One morning we had been out fishing laboring and toiling with no fish, when suddenly a man
shouted out to us, and said to adjust our nets. Immediately our nets were full. John said it was our
LORD. I had imagined a thousand times for the opportunity to ask His forgiveness; I rehearsed it
so many times in my mind. I grabbed my shirt and dove into the water swimming to the shore
hoping against hope, that He might grant me a “Do Over.” This was the third time he appeared to
us, and yet I could never seem to utter the words I had rehearsed so often. Three times He asked me
the same question, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” Three times I answered
“Yes, LORD You know I love You.” Each time He asked me I felt grief, but His final words shifted
everything. He said, “Feed my sheep.”

I now know what He was doing or, in fact, undoing. He wasn’t asking me because He was uncertain
of my love, after all, I even reminded Him that He knows all. He was asking because He wanted me
to declare to myself and all the court of heaven that though it might be weak and immature love, I, in
fact, loved Jesus. For each time I had denied and betrayed Him, I was now affirming all my
allegiance to the God-Man Jesus. When Jesus said, “Feed my sheep,” He was declaring to both me
and the “Accuser of the Brethren”, that my name Peter-ROCK- had been restored. That in spite of
weakness, sin, and short comings, He would fulfill all His plans and purposes in my life! All Jesus
needed was the “Yes” from my lips. I can’t describe to you the feelings of joy and hope that flooded
my soul. Jesus had given me a “Divine Do Over”! What I had believed and accounted as failure, the
Trinity redeemed as shaping my character and gifting so, I could live out my calling and accomplish
the good works He had planned for me.

Don’t draw back to fishing when the sting of failure bites you like it did me! Maybe what you see as
failure the Father sees as shaping and molding! Run towards Him, with total abandon! Trust His
leadership He knows you better than you know yourself. He who began a good work in you is
faithful to complete it!