Streetlight

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/50645122.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Stray Kids (Band)
Relationship: Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin
Characters: Hwang Hyunjin, Seo Changbin
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Swearing, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best
Friends, Hyunjin's A Model With A Reputation, Changbin's A Producer,
Changbin Has A One-Sided Hatred With Hyunjin, Changjin Starts
Working Together On A Song, Changbin Is A Salty And Sad Boy, Seo
Changbin-centric, Jealous Seo Changbin, Feelings Realization, Love
Confessions
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2023-10-07 Completed: 2023-12-09 Words: 26,818 Chapters:
12/12
 Streetlight
by TheDarkOne519

Summary

The undesired news of supermodel Hwang Hyunjin's most recent breakup triggers
emotionally-stunted producer Seo Changbin: it's yet another example of him not being able to
keep a man, why does everyone love him so much anyway? Changbin agrees to work on an
OST with a later revealed unexpected singer: the object of his irrational irritation. Changbin
soon realizes judging a book by it's cover and the initial annoyance toward Hyunjin that came
from it is overtaken with a feeling even stronger.

Notes

So yea, basically Hyunjin is the Taylor Swift of this universe, Changbin's a hater and they
start working together. Of course, endgame Changjin.
Thank you so much for reading!
 An Offer

"Supermodel Hwang Hyunjin and World-Renowned Dancer Lee Minho have split up after
only a few months of dating. It's reported there was infidelity involved but there are no close
sources available to comment."

"What a fucking shock. The pretty boy broke up with yet another dude but to add pizzazz it's
'cause he cheated. How is this even fucking news?"

"Damn he gets you going." Chan says as he daintily sips his tea on the recliner.

"'Cause he's fucking everywhere. He's only famous for being pretty."

"Well, yea, that's kinda what models are."

"Whatever. It's annoying as hell. I'm just trying to see what place our song's at but they're
taking forever."

"We could just look it up."

"Fine. It ruins the fun though."

"Well," Chan changes the channel, "you do that while I order food. What you want for
dinner? My treat."

"No, hyung," Changbin turns to face him from the loveseat, "I said I would pay this time."

"Too bad. I'm doing it. I'll put in my card before you can fight me. Bet."
Changbin playfully rolls his eyes and Chan giggles. "Okay, fine. Jjajangmyeon?"

"Sounds great." Chan pulls out his phone just as it starts to ring. "Oh, I need to take this. I'll
be right back Bin."

"Take your time."

Chan puts the phone up to his ear with a polite "Hello?" and goes into the guest bedroom.

Changbin gets up to grab the remote and begins flipping through the channels when his
phone also chimes. He looks down at the contact Woozi and quickly answers. "Hey man,
what's up?"

"Hey! Sorry to bother you in your off time."

"No problem, hyung. What's going on?"

"So a production studio has gotten a hold of me to work on an OST for an upcoming movie
but I'm fully booked with promotions. I gave them your and Chan's numbers so you don't be
shocked when he calls."

"He's actually on the phone now."

"Yea, that's probably it. Well hopefully you guys can do it! I know you all work magic in the
studio."

"Thanks, hyung. Yea, uh, well I know Chan's got a pretty busy schedule lately with the new
group but I'm quite free right now. If he can't I can."
"Great! I'm glad."

"So an OST? What's the movie?"

"It's a period drama. They've gotten some pretty big names on it so they want some well-
established producers to make the soundtrack."

"Cool cool. Any idea who it's with?"

"I'm not for sure. They were throwing around some ideas but I don't know if they've asked the
prospects yet. You should hear soon, they told me they would contact who they had in mind
within the next couple weeks. They seem pretty eager to make it happen soon."

"Why they in such a rush?"

"I think they want to use it as a promotion. They said they'll have a really well-known person
sing it so it brings eyes and hype."

"Well I'm excited to see who it is, hopefully they're cool."

"They insist they're great and fun to work with. Well, I'm getting another call, look out for
them Binnie. Let me know how it goes!"

"Of course. Thank you so much for the recommendation Jihoon hyung, I really appreciate it."

"No problem, you guys deserve it. I'll let you go. Bye bye."
"Bye."

Right as Changbin hangs up, Chan comes back in. "Hey, did you get that call too?"

"Wooz called about being contacted for an OST. I said I could do it even if you can't."

"Yea," Chan sits back down with a huff and leans back against the cushion. "There's just so
many deadlines and demos and -"

"Chan hyung, you really don't have to overwork yourself."

"I know. It's just hard."

"You live for work."

"I know."

"How about… hm…" Changbin licks his lips in thought. "How about we go out?"

"Go out?"

"Yea! There's a party this weekend at Mingyu's."

"Doesn't he work with Jihoon?"

"Yea, he's in a group under him. He's a really cool dude. What do you say? It'd be a fun way
to get your mind off things."
"Yea…" He sits a little more upright. "yea, let's do that. Sounds fun."

"Cool. I'll text the other Chan and get their address."

"Nice."

"Hey Bin! Other Chan!"

"Hey Dino," Changbin beams as he takes him in for a hug, "what's up?"

"Nothing much, guys. Come on in, make yourself at home."

Dino slides to the side and allows them to pass, the boys bowing as they walk in. They take a
quick look around and are swiftly greeted by the legend himself.

"Hey guys! What's up? Haven't seen you around the Universe Factory lately."

"Hey Gyu," Chan pulls him in for a side bro hug, "we've had so much shit to do we haven't
had much time to hang out with the homies."

"Well, I'm super stoked you guys decided to come."

"Chan needs to let loose a bit."

"Ya!"

Mingyu laughs. "Well that's alright by me. Let's go get you a drink man."

"Yea, for sure."

"You can come too, Bin."

"Yea, I'll uh," he quickly looks around the room when he scopes out a familiar face, "yea for
sure, but I'll catch up with you guys, yea?"

"Yea, see ya man."

"Bye!"

The guys go off with linked arms to the kitchen and he diverts his path to the side.

"Seungmin?"

He lowers his cup from his lips and shoots Changbin a wide smile. "Hey hyung! How are
you?"

"Good man. How are you? It's good to see you again."

"Good to see you too. Yea, I'm good. Been working a lot."
"Oh, I feel that."

"So I heard a fun rumor."

"A rumor?"

"That you're gonna be working on the OST. They offered me the part but I'll be overseas."

"No way! That would've been such a good time. Do you know who else they had in mind?"

"No, no idea. They had a few others, I'm not sure if they've gotten an okay yet."

"Huh."

"Seungminnie?"

Changbin's head jerks back to the somehow familiar voice.

"Hyunjinnie? Oh my god, hey!" Seungmin goes around Changbin to embrace him in a big
hug, bright smiles plastered over both of their faces. "Hey how are you? You look stunning."

"Thanks, you're quite nice yourself. I'm fine. You?"

"Great. So Jin have you met Changbin hyung?"

Changbin looks up to make eye contact for the first time and feels an immediate fire radiate
from his core.
"No, I haven't. Changbin?"

"That's me." He forces a smile as he holds out his hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Hwang Hyunjin but you probably know that."

Changbin resists an eye roll as Seungmin giggles.

"So what brings you here Minnie?"

"I'm friends with the guys that live here. You?"

"I'm friends with Mingyu. We did a shoot together way back in the day." Hyunjin says with a
bright smile.

"Did you now?"

"Yea. He did a great job considering it was his first time. Also, he's quite a good-looking
guy."

Changbin holds in a scoff as Seungmin speaks again. "So what's on your agenda lately?"

"Not much, I've got a bit of a break. I just agreed to something really fun but I can't say much
yet."

"Cool cool. Just enjoy the downtime."

"I am. Going to parties with a bunch of beautiful people is a good way to wind down, yea?"
God he's so shallow.

"Yea, for sure."

"So, um… Changjin?"

"Changbin."

"Changbin, what do you do?"

Changbin simply blinks with a blank expression. "I'm a music producer."

"Oh so you play on computers?"

His eyes widen and offense overwhelms his senses. "Well, it's a little more than that. What do
you do? Stand there, look pretty and get a check?"

Hyunjin's head tilts and Seungmin's eyes shift between the two of them. "Well… um… it was
good to see you Seungmin. Bye Changbin. It was nice to meet you." He awkwardly bows and
goes toward the other side of the room.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing. It just… uh…" he follows Hyunjin with his eyes until he turns a corner and is out
of sight, "it just slipped."

"You are aware models are talented too, right? They do more than stand there."
"Damn, sorry, Min. Didn't mean to personally offend you and your friend."

"Why'd you say it like that?"

"No reason."

"He's a really nice guy. I feel like you'd get along really well."

"Yea, sure we would."

 One Syllable

"Changbin, just who I wanted to see." The head of the company comes into his studio with a
warm, bright smile.

"How can I help you Mr. Park?" He says with forced enthusiasm.

"Lucky for us, we now know who you'll be working with for the soundtrack."

"Do we now?"

"Yes! Now he's not actually in the movie, it's more of a publicity stunt for him and the film,
but he's talented nonetheless."

"Okay, yea for sure. Who is it?"

"You've probably heard of him, Hwang Hyunjin."

Changbin's head drops forward yet maintains eye contact, solely in disbelief of the name that
just left his mouth. "The model?"

"Yea. I know what you're thinking, 'can't these guys just stick to what they do best and stop
trying to be singers' but he has a nice voice and has even dabbled in writing a bit. I think
you'll be a great fit."

"Yea, okay." He raises his eyebrows and mumbles the last word as he turns his chair around
to mess with his computer again.
"I told them you could start tomorrow."

Changbin jerks back around. "Tomorrow? Isn't that just a tad soon?"

"They want to get on it. They've kept us in the dark while they were finalizing the cast but are
excited to get moving. They want to use a snippet of the song for the trailer."

"The trailer that won't come out for several months or a year?"

"Yes, but we want it to be ready. Even then, it could be a teaser song, like with the official
announcement."

"What should the song even be about? It's a period drama, no? What am I writing about,
Daechwita?"

"No, there's a central love story. I can send you some more information so you have a basis to
go on to make it fit. But the sooner you guys start the sooner you'll create a masterpiece, no?
I'm so excited for this new step in the journey."

"Yea, I guess."

"Great! Bye bye Changbin. Happy writing!" He smiles and heads out the door, leaving a
visibly annoyed Changbin in his spinning chair.

"Tomorrow?!"
"Yes!" Changbin shoves his chopstick of noodles in his mouth and slurps. "No warning at
all."

"Damn they've kept busy these last couple weeks, haven't they? Or maybe not since they
seemed to come up with this last minute then tell you, the main character in your -"

"Yea, yea." He waves, swallowing his mouthful of food. "I just don't get why they couldn't
warn me. It's a Tuesday. Why do people start shit on Tuesdays? How big of a deal is this
movie anyway? They're getting a pretty boy with no experience to sing the main song so I'm
a little worried what dancers they throw up in front of a camera to act."

"Oh please, you're being too harsh on the guy. Lots of people in the industry are multi-
talented, you know that."

"Yea, but half the time they're mediocre at the side hustle at best and should stick to their
dayjob. It's one-in-a-million to be amazing at both things. It's a cash grab to sing too."

"Well, if that's what they want to do it's what they want to do. They've offered you a fuckton
of money to do this song."

"I know. It's more than my last two projects combined."

"Exactly."

"He's so stuck-up though. He said we just play on computers and fucked up my name a
minute after hearing it. Chang- bin. How fucking hard is that?" He hastily grabs his drink and
takes a sip.

"You met him?"

"At the party. I said hi to Seungmin and he came over. Apparently he knows Mingyu."
"Oh yea, that checks out. How have you not mentioned this?"

"I avoid thinking about it since god knows he's shoved into my face every couple of weeks
against my will anyway."

"I guess so. I've heard he's nice, though."

Changbin scoffs. "Yea, I'm sure."

"You sound like a jealous twelve year old, Bin. Why do you hate a guy you don't know so
much?"

"I just sense an overwhelming sensation of arrogant, selfish nepotism baby."

"Nah, I don't think either of his parents are famous -"

"But you don't know that."

"... Well… no… we can google it tho-"

"Nah, I don't care enough."

"Mhm." Chan sips as he looks expectantly at Changbin with raised eyebrows.

"What are you on about now?"

"Doesn't sound like you don't care."

"Shut up. I just don't like pretty people who are famous for no reason and use people."

"Just give him a chance. I'm sure you'll be just fine."

"Yea, okay. I'll be fine when it's over."

Changbin's sitting in his studio, getting a headstart on a beat idea when he gets a text.

Unknown

Hey

Is this Changbin?

It's Hyunjin, we're working together on the song?

I think I'm in the right building

Changbin rolls his eyes.

Me

Studio 8
Changbin puts his phone down and tries to regain his focus but can't get himself to. A few
minutes later, a knock on the door distracts him from his useless clicking and he stands up to
walk over. He opens it to none other than Hwang Hyunjin, decked out in a more casual-
looking white suit. "Hey, I'm -... wait… you're the Changbin I'm working with?"

His head tilts. "Yea. Problem?"

"No. Um… I'm not sure if you remem-"

"I remember. Come in." Changbin releases the door and Hyunjin awkwardly walks in behind
him.

"Wow, this is neat. So this is yours?"

"I share it with someone else but yea."

"Cool. So… how are you?"

"Do you care?"

"Huh?"

"Stop acting like you care."

"Do you have a problem with me? I asked a simple polite question. You sassed me at the
party and now -"

"You walk in here in the middle of a work day in a suit."

He passively looks down at his own clothes. "Well I'm sorry that I had a shoot before I came
here."

Changbin slightly shakes his head and looks forward as he sits while Hyunjin rolls his eyes
and follows.

"Okay, well we're obviously not going to be friends so let's just get started yea?"

"Let's." Changbin pulls up the emailed document from Mr. Park and skims the lines. "So it's
about an unrequited love situation. How basic."

"I think it's cute."

"Of course you do." He mumbles under his breath.

"Pardon?"

"Is it because you haven't experienced unrequited love? Everyone falls at your fucking feet."

"You're such an ignorant douche."

"Well I'm sorry that I don't get with every guy that breathes."

His mouth drops and eyes furrow. "I do not."

"Yea, okay, then why is it every couple of months you're on every news outlet with a new
man?"

"You don't know shit about me, Seo."

"Oh, you can remember my name now that it's one syllable, huh?"

"The hell are you talking about?"

"You called me Changjin. Is the brain inside that pretty little head of yours so small that two
syllables is too much to handle?"

"Oh, so now you're calling me stupid?"

"Am I wrong?"

"Just…" Hyunjin shuts his eyes and takes out a deep breath. "Let's just start, yea?"

"Fine. Do you have any ideas?"

"Let me read it." Hyunjin stands up to lean against the table by Changbin to look at the
screen. "So… one of them is in love and the other is mean to them?"

"I guess so. Fucking dumb."

"But it happens."

"Just leave."

Hyunjin turns in disbelief to meet his side profile. "Just leave?"

"Don't fall for someone who's a bitch to you."

"You've never been in a toxic relationship, have you?"

"And you have, Mr. Perfect?"

"How many times will I have to tell you I'm not perfect?"

"You're right, they leave you for some reason." He mumbles.

Hyunjin rolls his eyes and tilts his head to the side, choosing to ignore the obvious attack for
the sake of civility. "Well… uh… I don't have anything yet."

"Do you want my help or no?"

"… Isn't that what we're doing now?"

"No, I mean do you want to write it yourself or do you want my help?"

"Well… I think it'd be fun to try by myself."

"I'll read over it when you're done."

"So does that mean you'll do the instrumental?"

"Do you know what vibe you want?"

"No… uh… I'll think about it and let you know."

"Don't take too long, I don't want them on my ass for being late."

Hyunjin blankly stares at a cold Changbin, who's staring ahead at his monitor. "Okay, yea.
Sure."

Changbin walks into the apartment to Chan on the couch with his treasured laptop, obviously
editing something. "Hey hyung, what's up?"

"Nothing new. Sooo how was it?"

"He's horrible."

Chan silently chuckles and looks up at him. "Horrible? I doubt that."

"He's so annoying."

"What did he do?"

"Just…" Changbin shakes his head and purses his lips, "he just… ugh."

"Soooo he did nothing?"

"Back off, Chan."

He giggles and looks back to his work. "Ya know this whole process would go a lot smoother
if you got over yourself and gave him a chance."

"I'll get over myself when he does."

"Whatever, man."

"So… uh… what you working on?"

"Han wanted some help with beats for his new solo track."

"Cool cool. What's it called?"

"He's not sure yet. It's about knowing someone's not great for you but you're great together
anyway and want nothing more than to love and protect them."

"Uh huh."

"So what's your song about?"

"Unrequited love in a period drama."

"Interesting."
"Yea."

"You don't seem to agree."

"It's one where the guy's a bitch but the girl falls in love with him anyway."

"Aw."

"Aw?"

"Well as long as they do it right. We don't like toxic relationships around here."

"Hyunjin said something about that."

"Yea? And you think he's horrible?"

"What? He said one thing to sound woke and I'm supposed to fawn over him? Nah."

"Bin," he puts his laptop on the coffee table and faces him, "you're exhausting. You're in your
mid-twenties. Saying a toxic relationship is bad isn't woke, it's basic common sense. You
sincerely do not have to despise everything that comes out of the poor guy's mouth because
you have preconceived notions that he's a narcissistic player. I've heard from people who
actually know him that he's super sweet and I really think you just need to give him a
chance."

"Whatever."

"When are you working on it again?"

"Not for another week. He wants to try to write the song himself."

"Well good for him." He cheerfully says with a nod and a smile as he takes back his
computer.

"I'm excited to see how much I'll get to fix."

"Changbin-ah." Chan shuts his eyes with a groan as a door shuts. He opens them to look
around the room, realizing it's now empty. "Good god, he needs to get out more."
 On Edge

"Yo yoooo what's up guys?" Jisung calls as he walks into Chan and Changbin's place.

"Hey Hannie."

"Hey Ji. Bring the food?"

"Yea!" He comes up behind the guys on the couch and places it on the table in front of them.
"Let's gooooo."

"So when you gonna bring your new man to meet us?"

"Eh, maybe sometime soon. I don't want to rush anything. He's so beyond amazing. Also he's
super fucking hot."

"Well I'm happy for you, Ji." Changbin says as he grabs a slice of pizza from the box.

"Thanks. I'm gonna wait until he's ready. He's had a hard time lately."

"Just be there for him when he needs you." Chan says. "Nothing is more comforting than
someone you love just sitting beside you."

"You got a girl yet Chan hyung?"

"Nah, I'm just working, Hannie. You know that."

"You need to loosen up." Changbin says as he shoves the food into his mouth.

"You're one to talk."

Changbin rolls his eyes and resumes eating as Jisung sits down next to him. "So hyung,"
Jisung rests his arm on Changbin's arm, "you got anyone?"

"Nope."

"You've got both sexes available and you're not getting any?"

"Bisexual doesn't mean I want to bang everyone, especially without getting to know them."

"Mhm." Jisung hums as he grabs a slice and takes a bite.

"What's that tone for?"

"Nothing, hyung. Let's pick a movie, yea?"

Changbin shakes his head slightly and grabs the remote. "Oh, since you seem keen on
crossing lines today you should grab us some drinks."

"Huh? It's not my house!"

"Han," Chan says, "please. For both of our sakes, please."

Jisung scoffs and places his slice on the top of the box as he stands. "Fine."
"Ya!" Changbin points as Jisung walks to the kitchen. "You'll do it for him?!"

"I'll be back in 10 seconds, damn. What's gotten into you?"

"I'm… just… ugh can I not just enjoy a Friday night without being sassed?!"

"Calm down, calm down. I'll grab some beers too, god knows you fucking need one."

Jisung's passed out on the couch, Chan is now half-asleep on the recliner and Changbin is
scrolling on his phone.

"Hey Bin."

"Huh?"

"Are you doing okay?"

"Yea, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're just really on edge lately."

"I'm fine, hyung."

"As said in a tone that's obviously not fine. Talk to me, what's going on? What's on your
mind?"

Changbin takes a deep breath, shuts off his phone and puts it on the table. "I've just… I don't
know… been thinking a lot."

"About what?"

"Felix."

"Changbin, it's been a couple years now."

"I know, I just did him so wrong."

"You didn't technically do anything, but -"

"I emotionally cheated, Chan. That's just as bad."

"If you'd let me finish I was going to say but I know what you mean. You let your mind stray
and it hurt him. But, Bin, you can't hold on to the past. He's happy and moved on, you need to
do the same."

"Yea, I guess so."

"What made you start thinking about this?"

"You're gonna think it's dumb."

"No dumb questions."

"Not a question."

"You know what I mean."

"Hyunjin."

"Huh?"

"He's like the embodiment of what I did wrong."

Chan's whole face scrunches. "Huh?"

"You've seen how many guys he's had, there's no way he's not cheated on someone. Looking
at him reminds me of what I did."

"Changbin, dude, you have a way too strong of an obsession with this guy. He's probably
wanting to be happy and getting stuck in the wrong place... but why does he have literally
anything to do with you and Felix?"

"I don't know, he just…" Chan watches as he pauses and takes a sip of his sixth beer, "he
reminds me of him."

"Does he?"

"Yea. Something about him gives me Felix energy. I can't figure out what it is."
"And that's why you don't like him? He reminds you of an ex you still love and miss?"

"No, he's a slut that uses people for fame. Felix could never go that low. I guess they just give
off a similar vibe. Maybe it's the blonde."

"They look nothing alike, Changbin. Why don't you just try writing? Get out some of your
emotions. You've let your guilt and pent-up anger override your brain and I get the sense
you've actually lost it. You're taking your rage out on other people who don't deserve it.
Jisung wasn't that bad earlier and Hyunjin has done literally nothing to you. Write it out,
work through your shit. You bottled it up crying 'I don't do emotions' and now you're hurting
the people around you."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"You don't know shit, Chan."

"Okay." Chan slowly stands up, still huddled in a blanket. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight, bro.
See ya in the morning."

"Goodnight."

Once Chan closes his bedroom door, he reaches for a notebook on the table with a pen
between two pages. He takes the pen and lightly taps it against a blank page, biting his top lip
as he thinks.

Even if I act like everything is fine, I can't lie about this longing making me regret it all.
Hyunjin approaches the door of Studio 8 and knocks. He puts his ear up to the door and, upon
hearing nothing, he pulls out his phone.

"Hey."

Hyunjin jumps back at the unexpected, smiling figure that opened the way in front of him.
"Oh my god, you scared me."

His face immediately drops. "I'm so sorry. Here, come on in. Hyunjin, right?"

"Yea, and who are you?"

"Bang Chan. I share this studio with Bin."

"Ah okay. He did say he shares it with someone."

"I'm someone." Chan holds out his hand and Hyunjin takes it as Chan's eyes suddenly squint
and venture all around his face. "You're even gorgeous in person, ya know? Your skin is
literally flawless."

Hyunjin drops his face and blushes. "Thanks. I try."

"So what you here for? Changbin's hanging at the house today and I'm working on
something."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I was upstairs talking to Mr. Park and figured I'd come
down. I'll just -" He turns to exit just to be stopped by a strong hand.
"No, no, I'm sorry. You can stay if you want. Pull up a chair! I've been wanting to meet you
for a while."

Hyunjin's head tilts and his eyebrows furrow. "You have?"

"Yea, I've heard some great things about you."

"From who?"

"I have friends in both spaces. So, uh, you're working on a song with Changbin, right?"

"Yea." An obviously forced smile spreads across his lips.

"I promise you, he's not that bad."

"I'm sure he's not but my mere presence offends him so I'm not the best person to confirm."

"We live together, actually. He's going through a pretty rough time right now. Don't take
anything he says too seriously."

"Is he?"

"Yea. He's working through some old emotions."

"Uh huh."
"But it's not really my story to tell, I guess. What brings you here?"

"I was actually just stopping by to try to talk to him."

"Anything in particular?"

"I guess to clear some air. I have no clue what I've done but I just wanted to apologize and
start over. I can't live with myself knowing someone's so mad at me that they're -"

"Hyunjin-ah, no. None of this is your fault."

"He's definitely not acting like that."

"He's more on the unstable side right now and, honestly, you don't have the shiniest
reputation. He just assumes you're… well…"

"A stupid pretty whore."

Chan gives him an uncomfortable smile.

"It's fine, I've been called every name in the book by now."

Chan sadly smiles and motions Hyunjin inside, shutting the door behind them. "How are you
doing?"

"How am I doing?"

"Yea, you did just go through a very public breakup right? You're probably going through
some shit too and my dumbass best friend is just shading you for no reason."
Hyunjin smiles and looks down. "Yea, uh, I'm fine. It just really sucks, ya know? I thought
maybe this could be it this time."

"You really liked Minho, huh?"

"He's so sweet, but also so cold. The duality of that man was amazing but I couldn't get
enough of him. He was so gentle with me, so sweet, so chivalrous…" Hyunjin re-initiates eye
contact with Chan. "I'm sorry, I'm going too far."

"It's fine, you can vent as much as you want."

"You and Changbin seem like polar opposite people."

Chan's shoulders bounce with a silent laugh. "Nah, he's a super nice, passionate dude once
you get past his harsh exterior. Well… honestly, usually he's not so harsh. He's just an actual
bitch lately. But, anyway, how's the song going? He said you were wanting to write it
yourself?"

"Yea. Um… that's actually another part of the reason I'm here. I was going to try to ask him
for some advice."

"I know I'm not technically your partner in this but I can help. I write lots of songs for all
kinds of occasions. What you need help with?" Chan plants himself in his chair and Hyunjin
is visibly surprised.

"Um… well…"

"Here," Chan gestures to Changbin's chair, "take a seat."

"Okay, thanks." Hyunjin sits and meets Chan's bright smile. "Well, um… I just don't know
where to begin."
"Bin said the song was about unrequited love, right?"

"Yea, the guy's rude and the girl's in love with him despite that."

"My first rule is, especially with a prompt, try to channel something in your personal
experience that you can write about. For instance, you mentioned Minho's duality, right?"

"Yes…?"

"He was cold but sweet to you, no? Maybe you can reflect back on your relationship and
write it from the perspective of the girl."

"I… yea, I could."

"I know you just recently split so you probably don't want to have to relive all that but -"

"No, that's actually a really good idea."

"Yea, if there's a detail you think fits the theme you can tweak it a bit to make it more vague
or fit the story and go from there."

"You're kind of a genius, Chan."

"Why thank you," he dramatically bows in his chair, "I do my best."

"Well, I actually have some ideas now. Thank you so much, I'll go ahead and leave so you
can get back to your work."
"No problem, anytime Hyunjinnie. Feel free to come by and chat. Usually one of us is here."

"Uh huh." Hyunjin smiles and stands up, tucking his long black coat around his thin waist.
"Thanks again, it means a lot."

Chan simply nods in response. Just as Hyunjin gets to the door and turns the knob, he hears a
"hey" that makes him turn back. "Don't be too put off by Changbin. I promise he's a great
guy. I'd never associate myself with a person like he is right now. Give him some time, he'll
come around."

Hyunjin purses his lips and politely nods. "Thanks."

"Oh, actually, before you go." Chan grabs a sticky note from the stack on the desk and
quickly jots down something. "If you ever need my help or just want to chat, hit me up."

Hyunjin flashes his gaze between the digits and Chan's calming smile. "Thanks, yea. I
appreciate it."

"Have a good rest of your day, yea?"

"I will," Hyunjin shyly grins, "you too."

 Show Me

Knock knock.

"Come in."

Hyunjin peeks his head into the studio door, catching Changbin's attention just enough to
look away from his screen but not keep it away.

"Hey Changbin, how are you?"

"Fine. Go ahead and sit down."

Hyunjin forces a smile and sits in Chan's chair, which intrigues Changbin enough to watch
him.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting."

Changbin huffs through his nose and looks back to the monitor. "Bring anything?"

"Yea." He opens up a folded sheet of paper and places it on Changbin's desk, who almost
immediately holds it up and skims his ideas.

"I see ice as a cream? After the breathtaking taste everything is just bitter? I delude myself
into thinking that someone who's cold to everyone is only warm to me?"

Hyunjin simply glances between Changbin and the sheet.

"So… what does this mean?"

"It's… uh… it's about being in love with someone who is cold to you but you love them. Like
ice cream."

"Ice cream?"

"Yea, once you get past the cold exterior it's really sweet."

"What's the bitter part then?"

Hyunjin naturally tenses his body at the unexpected deep dive. "Well, ya know, sometimes
the person can surprise you and go back to how they were before, acting like they were never
pleasant to begin with."

"Hm." Changbin stays focused on the lines, eyes darting across the page.

"So? Thoughts?"

Give him a chance.

"These are actually, uh, pretty good."

Hyunjin's attention peaks. "Really?"

"Yea. It's an interesting concept. It makes sense too. Fits the theme. How'd you come up with
it?"

"Honestly I had some help getting off the ground. And thank you, I appreciate your kind
words."
Changbin looks over to Hyunjin's shy disposition with a meek smile tugging at the corner of
his small lips. "You're welcome. So, uh, what other thoughts do you have?"

"How do you feel about an acoustic vibe? Like I can't imagine a hard beat or EDM for a
period drama, maybe just some classic guitars and whistling or something."

"I think I can work with that. Did you write this to a particular rhythm?"

"I did, actually."

"Show me."

"Show me?"

"Sing for me."

"Sing… for… you?"

"That's why we're here, no? You're the only voice on this track and we're recording in this
room."

"Yea, uh…" He straightens his posture and looks down at the paper. He takes a couple of
breaths with slow blinks before he shyly starts speak-singing the lines he has written down.
Changbin tunes in almost immediately to his nervousness and places a hand on his exposed
forearm, making him stop.

"Hey, are you actually shy?"

"Well, ya know, I enjoy singing but I've never thought I had the best voice."
"You need to be more confident than that for a title track. Just forget I'm here, yea? Close
your eyes, imagine you're alone in the comfort of your bedroom, and channel the emotions
you felt when you wrote it and put them into your voice."

Hyunjin just blinks, makes eye contact with a serious Changbin, and nods. He closes his
eyes, tunes out the outside world, takes a deep breath and simply starts over. Once he does,
Changbin's paying attention to the slight rasp and the calming nature of his voice. He squints
as he focuses on his soft tone, paying extra mind to his full lips as they fluidly move with
each word. He's quickly entranced in them, baffled that he never noticed how perfect they
were before.

His voice is so relaxing. I could listen to him all day.

He shakes his head just enough to divert his attention back to the monitor, already having an
idea in mind for the backing track. He cuts Hyunjin off with the sound of a guitar strum and
he stops completely.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just had an idea."

"No, uh, that was nice."

"Do you play guitar?"

"No, I'd love to learn but I don't. My hands are huge, I don't know if that'd hurt or help me."

"Are they?"

Hyunjin extends his fingers out.

"Damn."

"I know, I'm a scrawny monster."

Changbin giggles and Hyunjin smiles at the strange sight.

"Well, yea, uh… my roommate Chan does. Maybe we can ask him to do it? It'd sound less
perfect than a computer but I think it'd be nice, more natural. I'll come up with something for
the guide in the meantime and ask when I get home."

"Yea, that'd be nice."

"But yea, keep on… yea, doing what you're doing. It's good."

"Thanks." Hyunjin shyly grins and looks back down at the paper to avoid contact.

"Also, um… sorry I've been such a bitch to you. I'm just," he shakes his head slightly and
shuts his eyes, "dealing wi-"

"No need, it's okay." Hyunjin looks back up at him. "We all have our days."

"Yea, more like our weeks."

"You doing alright?"

"I'm okay. I'm just… well… working through some stuff."

"That's fine."

Changbin nods before looking back over at Hyunjin, who simply gives him a soft smile in
return. A grin pulls at Changbin's lips as his phone rings. "Oh, uh, I have to take this." He
puts it up to his ear and walks toward the exit. "Hey Hannie, what's up?"

Hyunjin begins to look around the room and at the software pulled up, curious about what
everything means. He's pleasantly surprised by Changbin's apology and change in
composure, which has already made him more excited to work on the song.
"Hey, sorry about that, he really comes out at the wrong place and the wrong time. So, want
to keep working?"

"Yea, that would be nice."

They get a solid start to the instrumental and decide to call it a day after another hour or so.

"Good session. See you in a few days, yea?" Changbin says as he shuts down his computer
and grabs his bag from beside his feet.

"Yea."

"Keep the ideas going. They're quite good." He gives Hyunjin a small smile, who gives him a
soft one in return.

"Thanks. I'll see ya later." He gets up and heads to the door.

"Wait."

Hyunjin turns back to face him.

"You… uh… have a really nice voice. You don't need to be self-conscious."

A genuine big smile spreads across his face. "Thanks. That means a lot."

"See ya."

"See ya."
Changbin's getting out of the shower and pulls his pajama pants on. He grabs the towel to dry
his hair as he walks into the living room. The door opens to a tired-looking Chan, who drops
his stuff off on the recliner and heads to his room. "I'm disgusting, I'm gonna get a shower too
real quick."

"Take your time. I'll start food."

"Thanks Bin." He shuts the door behind him and Changbin detours to toss the towel in the
hamper. Suddenly, a familiar jingle begins and his attention is brought to Chan's pile of stuff.
He double checks it's not his phone and goes over to investigate. It stops before he can get
there, making him scrunch his face and grab it from the side pocket of the laptop bag. A
single chime sounds as he takes it in his hand.

Hyunjinnie

Hey, sorry figured I'd call first

I wanted to get your opinion on something

Changbin scrunches his face in confusion. "Hyunjinnie?" He whispers to himself.

He has a nickname? Why is he texting Chan? When did they meet for the first time? Opinion
on what?

"Hey Changb- what ya doing?"

Changbin looks up to meet a shirtless Chan. "Um, nothing, sorry, it was ringing and I went to
see if I could answer for you."
"Oh okay. Who was it?" He walks over and Changbin hands the phone over. Changbin
watches as a soft smile forms on his lips. "Thanks Bin." He then goes to the linen closet, pulls
out a towel and goes back into the bathroom.

Are they… friends now?

They finish eating and are mindlessly watching their show.

"Hey hyung."

"Yo."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why is Hyunjin texting you?"

"We had a nice chat the other day and I offered to help him with his lyrics."

"But… why didn't he ask me? I'm the other half of it."

"Do you really have to ask? I talk to him like a person."

Changbin's face drops.

"He came by the studio for you but I was there and we chatted for a bit. And they were right,
he is really nice. Really talented guy too from what he's shown me of the song."

Changbin slowly nods. "Yea."

"Why you ask?"

"No reason. I was just… uh… curious. He came by for me?"

"Yea, he was already at the building and for some reason felt inclined to apologize to you for
whatever he did to make you so cold to him. Ya know, that big absolutely nothing. But also it
was for the song help."

Changbin simply sits in silence, twiddling his thumbs and tracing lines of the table with his
gaze.

"Well I'm gonna go work on stuff in my room. Call for me if you need me." He casually
grabs his bag and goes into his room, shutting the door behind him.

Have I been that horrible to him where he's going to Chan for our song?
 Why?

Monday morning has arrived and the roommates head off to work. Chan has several meetings
scheduled so he's off to the offices and Changbin goes straight to their studio to work on his
projects.

Changbin quickly makes himself at home with some coffee and slowly sips as he decides
what to work on first.

Ice as a cream.

His thoughts are immediately flooded with the sound of Hyunjin's soothing singing voice and
gravitates toward that file. He refreshes himself on what they have so far and messes around
with chords.

… maybe just some classic guitars and whistling or something.

He starts humming in a similar melody they have and changes it to a whistle. He plays the
beginning of the instrumental along with his newest addition and quickly loves it.

Okay, fine, he may have been onto something.

After finishing the guitar effect for the chorus, there's a knock on the door.

"Yea." He calls and it opens.

"Hey, Changbin."

He looks back to a grinning Hyunjin. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I had a while before my shoot so I figured I'd come by. Have you worked on anything?"

"Yea, um, I actually just finished through the chorus."

"Cool!"
"Yea," Changbin grins at his sweet enthusiasm, "want to hear?"

"Absolutely!" He sits down in Chan's chair and Changbin immediately hits play.

"Also, I took your advice and think I came up with a good intro."

"A good intro?"

As the music plays. Changbin watches the screen and whistles along to the tune he made
earlier. When the resolution starts for the chorus, he looks back to a smiling Hyunjin. "That's
really nice."

"Thanks. Obviously you'll be the one doing it but -"

"Of course, it's great though. You sound good."

"Well… um… thanks."

Hyunjin nods and diverts his attention to the monitor. "You should show me what this stuff
does sometime."

"What stuff?" He points to the screen. "This?"

"Yea, like what all the buttons mean, ya know? It'd be fun to learn about what you do."

"Playing on a computer."
"So you admit it?"

Changbin shoots him a glare, triggering Hyunjin to laugh and a smirk creeps up on
Changbin's face.

"I'm kidding. I, uh, actually brought some lyrics too."

"Did you now?"

"Yea." He pulls out yet another sheet of folded up paper and hands it to Changbin, who opens
and skims.

"I think I know you but I don't, you have a sweet aftertaste. Harsh words mean nothing to me.
With a few childish words, your expression as cold as ice disappears and you become soft
and pure… I delude myself into thinking that someone who's cold to everyone is only warm
to me…" He looks back up to Hyunjin who's picking at his fingers. "This is really good."

"Thanks."

"What gave you this idea?"

"Well, um… Chan told me I should channel something personal and tweak it to fit the theme.
I have a lot of inspiration for sweet but acts cold."

"Huh." Changbin drops back down. "Yea, you're coming up with something really nice here.
We almost have enough to do a guide track and you can record."

"That's wild."

"Yea. Good job." Changbin smiles back at him before going back to his computer. His phone
suddenly rings and he excuses himself, leaving Hyunjin alone in the studio again.
He gazes around the room just to land on a book sitting on a table next to the couch. He
walks over, sits down, and quickly debates if he opens it. He turns it to a random page and
realizes they're song lyrics. He's skimming when Changbin walks back in.

"Sorry, it was the boss with a question." He sits back in his chair, not even looking to him.

"It was actually my fault for letting my eyes be drawn by someone else even while still
seeing you."

"Huh?" He turns back to Hyunjin on the couch.

"Is that a song you wrote?"

He looks down to Hyunjin glancing down at his open notebook on the side table. "The fuck
are you looking though my book for?" He gets up, grabs from his hands and forces it shut,
making Hyunjin jump in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I just -"

"You're what? Huh? Snooping through my personal shit?"

"Did you cheat on someone?"

"Why is that any of your business?"

"I'm… just…"

"Why?"
"I've been cheated on before."

Changbin's harsh exterior falters slightly. "Huh?"

"I just… ya know… wanted to ask if it's true. Why you did it?"

Changbin simply blinks, his breathing slows and he looks into his eyes. "Why I did it?"

"What made you look away? What made you go to someone else?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I never got answers. I'm curious what makes you want to hurt someone you claim to love."

Changbin sits back down, noticing how serious Hyunjin looks, how there's no sass or
manipulative intent laced in his soothing voice. "Well… uh… I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I just… um…" he directs his gaze to a random section of the floor, "I guess I was insecure. I
liked the fact that I had someone else's attention. I thought he was too good for me and he
would leave me on his own at some point."

"Yea?"

"Yea. I do regret it a lot, ya know. He didn't deserve any of it. He's a literal angel. He's happy
now though, he didn't need me and never will. He's married to an amazing guy that gives him
the world."
"So you were with a guy?"

"Yea. Felix. We were high school sweethearts." Changbin drops his head as a shy smile pulls
at his lips. "He was, is, so pretty. He helped me through a lot of shit and he was way too good
for me."

"Don't say that."

He looks back up to meet Hyunjin's stern stare. "Why not?"

"No one deserves to feel like that. No one. You're perfect for someone and someone's perfect
for you, you just have to find them. You can't let the past hold you down, you need to move
on and forward and strive for better things."

Surprise washes over Changbin's face as he takes in the mini pep talk. "I never would've
expected that from you."

"Expected what?"

"Such a… I don't know, a meaningful, profound statement."

"It's not profound, it's just experience."

"You were… uh… cheated on?"

"Yea," he huffs for a laugh, "in every relationship I've been in. At least it feels like it.
Definitely more than once."
"Really? I doubt that."

"My last boyfriend I know for a fact did… my first, the one I was with for 6 months -"

"For real?"

"Yea."

"You're lying."

"No."

"Look at you. Everyone wants you."

"Well obviously not everyone."

Changbin immediately feels a tinge of guilt override his senses.

"They just think I'm attractive, they don't want my heart."

"I'm sure that's not true."

"It is, though. No one stays because I'm not good enough past a pretty face."

"Hyunjin, no."

"As you said, everyone wants me, but no one needs me."
Changbin's heart drops. He slowly sits down next to Hyunjin, who looks over in confusion at
the approaching presence. "I'm sure that's not true."

"No, it is."

"You've been in lots of relationships, surely one of them was sincere." He slowly sits down
next to him.

"To me, all of them were. I want to find love like the rest of the world, I'm just on a pedestal.
Why can fifteen year old girls get a new boyfriend every couple months and no one bats an
eye but when I have one or two a year I'm called a slut by every news outlet?"

I've called him a slut.

"Not to mention that I'm gay which adds another level of intrigue to the public. Just more
reason for blatant homophobia in the industry."

"Why didn't you tell me this before when I was saying those rude things to you?"

"I don't like confrontation. Plus, there's no point in trying to correct you if you immediately
discounted me based on stereotypes and baseless assumptions that everyone else has made
about me that are taken as fact."

Changbin face fully drops. "I'm… I'm so sorry."

"It doesn't matter. Let's just star-"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I claimed to know your life when I didn't know you. I… uh…
wouldn't want that done to me either."

They look into each other's eyes and Changbin is searching far and wide, seeing absolutely
no sign of any of these words being insincere.

"You're not just pretty, ya know."

"Yea, okay. You literally said I just stand there and get paid when we first met."

"I know you have grueling hours, long shoot days, you have to be perfect, and if you're not
you're shamed. If you gain even two pounds you're called fat and undesirable. Your job must
be mentally draining."

"I guess you're not wrong on that."

"Then why do you stay in it?"

"I do enjoy it, but… hm… I don't know, it's just what I do now. Deep down, I do want to find
my purpose, ya know? I just don't know if posing in front of a camera fulfills that for me."

"Is that why you're doing the song?"

"Yea, I do enjoy singing and songwriting. If I'm good at it is questionable but -"

"So far, from what I've seen, you've been really good. Your lyricism, your voice, it's so
relaxing and you have a really nice way with words."

"Please." He huffs and looks away just to be brought back by Changbin's hand.

"Hey, listen, you're talented, okay? You're not just a pretty face… a gorgeous face, even…"
Changbin absentmindedly drops his attention to Hyunjin's lips, who does the same to him.
"You're just… so…"

"Just so… what?"

"So…"

"Hey Changbin hyung."

They break out of their trance to look over at the door to a wild Han Jisung.

"Hey what ya -" Jisung stops as he makes eye contact with Hyunjin. "Hey… uh… Hyunjin
hyung. How… uh… how are you…?" Jisung says through a forced smile.

Changbin glances at Hyunjin, whose face is now a light shade of pink and his eyes are
quickly growing glossy and filling full of rage. "You guys know each other?"

"I'm not your hyung." Hyunjin deadpans.

Changbin immediately catches onto the tone shift and goes back to Jisung, whose eyes are
wide as he's slowly starting to back up.

"I'll just…" he awkwardly smiles and points his thumb behind him, "I'm just gonna -"

"No." Hyunjin stands up and Jisung jerks back. "You're not going anywhere."

"Hyunjin, Jisung… what is going o-"

"How's my ex-boyfriend, huh? Even better now that he's yours?"

Changbin's eyes scrunch as they turn to Jisung, whose eyes are somehow even wider than
before.

"Hyunjin, I -"
"No. You know what you did. You had a good time right? I'm sure you did. Such a good
fucking time. Obviously he did too."

"Hyun-"

"Stop… no, actually, I'm out of here." Hyunjin hastily makes his way toward the door,
triggering Changbin to stand up in an attempt to follow him.

"Hyunjin-ah -"

"Leave me alone, Seo." He says with a broken tone as he fast walks down the hallway to the
main doors.

"Jisung… the fuck was that?"

"Um… well…"

"What did he mean by how is his ex?"

"You… uh… did you happen to see that headline from a few weeks ago with him and
Minho?"

"Yea…" Changbin gulps as he mentally prepares himself to hear the answer he expects.

"I was the guy he cheated with."

"Minho?"
"Yea. Hyunjin walked in on us."

"Han, what the hell?!"

"What? He's hot and wanted me and -"

"He had a boyfriend, Jisung. That's so fucking wrong."

"You weren't saying that a couple years ago, huh? Remember why you and Felix broke up?"

"Get out."

"Wait, Changbin hyung, I'm sor-"

"Get out."

Jisung's face falls as he turns and goes down the hall in the opposite way Hyunjin was just
storming down. Changbin's chest clinches at the sight.

I hope he's okay.

 Afraid
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

Me

Hey

Are you alright?

I couldn't find you

Read 12:16pm

Changbin anxiously awaits with the read receipt staring him in the face, somehow beyond
nervous that he won't answer.

Why would he answer? We're not friends…

"Hey Bin." Chan says as he walks into the studio. "Got anything good today?"

"Jisung."

"Jisung's good?"

"Jisung is the guy Minho cheated on Hyunjin with."

Chan's mouth drops and his eyes are huge. "Pardon?"

"Yea."
"To me, you're already a sin."

"Huh?"

"That's a lyric in Han's new song. Makes sense, he hasn't let us meet him 'cause we know he
was plastered all over the news with Hyunjin a few weeks ago."

Changbin huffs and rolls his eyes. "Un-fucking-believable."

"How did you find out?"

"Jisung came by to visit while Hyunjin was here. Apparently he walked in on them and that's
how he found out about the affair."

"Walked in on them doing what?"

"I didn't want to ask."

"Oh shit… I hope he's okay. Where did he go?"

"Hyunjin?"

"Yea."

"I don't know. He stormed off and he's not answering my calls or texts."
"Hm… let me try." Chan immediately pulls out his phone and Changbin's distracted, unable
to focus on any work. He instead sits there, lost in the taps of his own foot against the floor.

He was so mad, so hurt.

"Hey."

Changbin's head jolts up to Chan nodding while on the phone.

"Hey, Bin told me what happened. Are you okay?"

He wouldn't answer me but answered him…?

"Where are you? Want me to meet you somewhere?... Yea, for sure. I'll see ya there." Chan
hangs up and Changbin can't hide the hurt plaguing his face. "I'm gonna go take him out. I'll
be back soon, yea?"

"Um… yea…"

Chan smiles and immediately exits, leaving Changbin alone. He grabs the notebook and
slowly turns to the page that Hyunjin was on earlier.

I left you with just the words I'm sorry, writing out our sad ending with trembling hands. After
I sent you away I was left in pain. It was all my fault, so why am I hurting? I didn't even
thank you in the end, just left behind sharp words in a trembling voice. Even if I act like
everything is fine, I can't lie about this longing making me regret it all.

We said everything we wanted to say and wrote it off as not being right for each other. It was
actually my fault for letting my eyes be drawn by someone else even while still seeing you.
When you asked me if something was wrong, I just shook my head side to side. I told you to
just not worry about it but now I'm worrying more about how I said that, why is that?

Changbin stares at the lyrics on the page and traces his fingertips along each stroke of the
pen, tilting his head in thought.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I insist on making myself miserable? Not only have I hurt
Felix, it took nothing for Hyunjin to pick Chan over me. I can't blame him, I wouldn't want to
talk to me in a time of need either. Why wouldn't he want Chan? He's perfect.

He turns back a couple of pages to one he started writing just a few weeks ago.

A bandaid over a wound will always fall. I put this on in a rush but it really fell off quickly.
The rain water pools on top of this worn roof, and it knows me all too well slipping in
through all the cracks. I need someone before I collapse, ask me again if I’m okay, please,
anybody...

He picks up the pen on his desk, sits for a moment in thought before placing it on the paper.

I don’t want anyone to see how incredibly weak I am. To the people who relied on me that’s a
contradiction. Acting strong, acting like I’m not hurting, acting like nothing is wrong. I just
wanted to be someone else's strength, I can’t be the reason that they lose strength. I don’t
have the courage to make “you can rely on me” the other way around.

Even though people’s eyes aren’t on me their gazes sting, thinking they might keep watching
and see the expression I’ve kept hidden slip out. I’m afraid, yeah, I’m afraid...

Changbin wakes up to the sound of the front door shutting. He rubs his eyes and snuggles
into the blanket for an extra moment before sitting up to look behind the back of the couch to
see Chan putting his stuff down.

"Hey hyung."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No, no, you're fine. It's, um…" he checks the time on his phone, "7. You're home late."

"Yea, I took Hyunjin out for coffee and ice cream."

Changbin silently chuckles to himself.

Ice as a cream.

It quickly fades.

"How is he?"
"He's fine. He said he's quite the emotional guy and it got the best of him in that moment. We
had a good, long conversation and he insists he's better. I made sure he made it back to work
okay too."

Changbin's gaze falters and his heart drops. "Well, um… that's good."

"Yea." He nods and takes off his jacket, putting it on the hook.

"Did he… uh… get my messages?"

"Um… yea, I think so." He says in a bouncy tone, like he was trying to ease the blow.

He raises his eyebrows. "Did he say why he ignored them?"

"He said he uh… ya know… wanted a judgment-free zone."

I knew it.

Changbin slowly nods and purses his lips. "Well I'm glad he's better."

"Yea, he is. Well I'm gonna get a shower. Want to just figure it out for food tonight?"

"Yea, I'll probably do ramen."

"Cool cool." Chan goes to his room and grabs clothes before locking himself in the
bathroom.
Various thoughts flash through Changbin's brain, the most prevalent being what Hyunjin had
told him earlier.

"As you said, everyone wants me, but no one needs me."

His heart is heavy as he replays that statement with the exact same defeated yet peppy tone he
used.

He tried not to seem too serious. He tried to act like it didn't bother him as much as it did.

He suddenly pulls out his phone.

Me

Hey

Just let me know you're okay, yea?

Chan just got home and said you're better

Hyunjin

Typing....

I'm fine

Thanks

Changbin lets out a deep breath as he puts his phone on the side table and cuddles into his
pillow. He's replaying the entire conversation he had with him at the studio, how he tried to
seem unbothered and nonchalant but was obviously hurting, broken. His face turns hot and a
single tear pools at the corner of his eye.

Maybe we can be broken together.

A few days have passed and Changbin invited Hyunjin to the studio for an extra session of
work but he said he was busy. Instead, he puts all of his energy into finishing the instrumental
and fine tuning the details. Chan came by the other day and recorded an actual guitar line.
Changbin's reading through all of the lyrics he's been given.

Because I like the way you are, I started my love account book. I checked how much I spent
today. As I made a loss, it ends in disappointment but whenever you, who's cold, smile, like
a… ice to cream, I see ice as a cream.

If love is everything, there's nothing that's left for me. Lopsided affection, so familiar that
there's no need to even review it. I'll just watch, I'll like you just a little bit. If a little doesn't
work, I'll do it without letting you know.

"If love is everything, there's nothing that's left for me."

"Huh?"

Changbin jerks his head back to the unexpected visitor. "Oh, uh, hey Chan. What's up?"

"Nothing much, just coming by to hang for a bit before my next meeting."

"Ah okay." He tries to casually go back to what he's doing but is suddenly overly anxious
about what's written on the paper. He feels possessive despite the fact that Chan has likely
seen most, if not all, of these lines.

"What you working on?"

"Our song."

"Oh cool! It's coming along really well, isn't it?"

"Yea, it really is."

"Then you'll get what you want and never have to see him again. Well… on purpose, at
least."

He forces a smile as Chan sits on the couch behind him. "Channie."

"Yea?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You know it."

"Does he hate me?"

Chan looks up from his phone to meet the gaze of an obviously distraught Changbin. "What
makes you think he hates you?"

"How could he not? You know what I've said about him. He ignored my attempt at help and
immediately accepted yours. Am I that horrible of a person?... You're right, I've done nothing
but tear down the people around me and now I feel so alone."

"Binnie," Chan swiftly changes seats to his chair and wheels over to sit in front of him and
take a hand in both of his, "you're not a horrible person. You're just letting your negative
emotions control you. You just need to get it out somehow."

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?"
"Failure. Of ending up alone. Of no one ever loving me."

"Changbin -"

"I'm afraid I'll push everyone away and I'll even lose you one day."

"You will never lose me."

"You say that. You saw how well I blocked Hyunjin out and he's done nothing but try with
me."

"You said before he reminds you of Felix… you're still harboring a lot of emotions for him,
maybe it's getting the best of you now. It's like a constant reminder."

"I don't think that's it now."

"No?"

"No."

"Then what are you thinking?"

"I'm jealous."

"You're… jealous?"
"He's so nice, the world falls at his feet for a chance with him, and he's fucking stunning. But
also I'm not jealous of him, he's broken like me. I've fucked over others and myself and he's
continuously fucked over by people he cares about. We're the same side of a different coin.
How could I treat him so coldly when I understand his pain and how much it hurts to be
judged? I regret so much shit and couldn't imagine every little thing I've done being thrown at
me, especially people who made up details for views."

"What are you saying, Bin? What do you want?"

"I want to stop fucking up my own chances at happiness. I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to
stop being such a sad bitch."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"... I gotta go." He abruptly stands up, grabs his phone and heads out the door, leaving behind
a confused Chan.

He pulls up the contact name and puts his phone up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"Uh… why?"

"Please, just tell me where you are."

Changbin pulls into the complex and goes up to the room. He heavily knocks on the door just
for a beautiful platinum blonde to open it a few moments later.

"Changbin, what are you doing here, again?"

"I'm so sorry, Hyunjin. I'm so fucking sorry."

"But… what are you -"

"I'm sorry I've been so rude to you. You deserve literally none of the bullshit I've given you.
I'm finally ready to move on with my life and I'm starting with you."

"What do you mean I'm st-"

"I'll just watch, I'll like you just a little bit. If a little doesn't work, I'll do it without letting you
know."

"Huh?"

"I think I know you but I don't, you have a sweet aftertaste. Harsh words mean nothing to me.
With a few childish words, your expression as cold as ice disappears and you become soft
and pure."

"Changbin, what are you -"

"Am I delusional too?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're delusional thinking that someone who's cold to everyone is only warm to you but am
I delusional thinking I inspired some of this?"

Hyunjin stands there with an agape mouth and wide eyes. "Changbin, I -"

"I know that's kind of the point of the song but I've looked at the lyrics much these last few
days and… I don't know… I just…"

"What? You just what?"

Changbin's eyes flash down to his lips and licks his own, triggering Hyunjin to go down to
his as well.

"Changb-"

Changbin rushes forward and presses their lips together, his hands snaking around to his
lower back to pull him closer. Hyunjin almost immediately reciprocates, draping his arms
around his neck and keeping him in place. One of Changbin's hands goes up to Hyunjin's
cheek and he pulls away just enough to speak. "Hyunjin-ah, you're so much more than a
pretty face. You're so talented and I'm sorry for being part of the problem."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you."

"You don't know me enough to say that."

"No, but I do know you're a hopeless romantic that wants nothing more than to fall into
someone's arms and I want nothing more than to be the one to catch you."
"Where is this coming from?"

"I'll help you through your shit if you help me through mine."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"I want to know more. I know you've been fucked over and I'm the one who does the fucking
over but I want to be better."

"But Bin -"

"I know you said no one wants you past your pretty face but that's not true. You've been hurt
and want to find happiness. I want to give you that happiness."

"I don't know about this."

"Why not?"

"It just seems impulsive."

"I know. I just… please."

"Please?"

"Let me love you, even just for this moment."

"Changbin…"
"Yes?"

He shuts his eyes with a deep breath before slowly reopening them to meet Changbin's gaze.
"... Kiss me."

Changbin lunges forward and Hyunjin immediately uses one hand to tangle in his hair and
the other to push the door shut behind them. He pushes Hyunjin against the nearest wall,
lining kisses along his jawline and down his neck which instinctually stretches and his
mouth falls open at the sensation.

"Changbin…"

"Yes?" He breathes with a slight nibble against his sensitive skin. His hand swiftly trails
down Hyunjin's torso, caressing the fabric until he reaches the waistline and tugs at his belt.

"Changbin… stop…"

Changbin's hand trails up under his thin white shirt and glides his fingers along his smooth
skin. "But, baby -"

"Changbin stop."

He immediately retracts and Hyunjin closes himself off by crossing his arms at his torso.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was going too far."

"It's… uh… not your fault."

"Yes it is. It's entirely my fault."

"No, um… it's just that I… uh…"

Changbin tilts his head.

"I don't have sex."

"You don't?"

"Not really, no."

"Is… uh… there a reason?"

Hyunjin's eyes scan the floor in front of him, his fingers rubbing his elbows to self-soothe.

"You don't need to answer that."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's okay."

"I… uh… once we get to know each other better, maybe. I don't want to rush into things."

"That's totally fine, I understand. I respect that."

"You do?"

"Yea. If you want to wait, that's fine."

Hyunjin's face is now scrunched, his eyes squinted and inspecting every inch of Changbin's
face. "Seriously?"
 "Yea. We can only go as far as you want to go. If that's nothing or just kissing that's okay too.
I want you to be comfortable."

Hyunjin's eyes slowly form a sheen, glossing over as his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Hyunjin-ah…"

He sniffles, faintly shakes his head and rapidly blinks.

"Jinnie…" Changbin walks back up to be close to him and Hyunjin breaks down in tears.

"Hyunjinnie," he wraps an arm around his thin waist and the other behind his neck to push
into his shoulder for a tight hug, "it's okay. You're safe."

"Thank you."

Changbin pulls back slightly to make eye contact with a puffy-eyed Hyunjin. "For what?"

"Just… thank you."

Chapter End Notes

In case they're not familiar, I didn't write any of these lyrics I've been quoting. They're
the English translations (the Genius versions I believe) for Hyunjin's solo song "Ice
Cream" (aka the collab song in this fic), "Ex" by Stray Kids (the cheating/relationship
references), and Changbin's solo "Streetlight" (personal distress), aka the story title. The
one Han lyric is from his solo song "Volcano." Highly recommend all of them if you
haven't heard them.
 Always There

Changbin walks into the front door of the dark apartment and quietly, slowly shuts the door
behind him to avoid drawing attention.

"Changbin?"

Shit.

He looks back to meet a Chan in his bedroom doorway, lit up by the table lamp behind him.

"Hey man, where were you?"

"I was just… uh… out."

"With who?"

"No one. I'm tired, hyung. I'll see you -"

"You said you wanted to fix something. Was it with Hyunjin?"

"What makes you think that?"

"You talked about him quite a bit before you rushed out."

"So what if I was with him? Are you jealous?"

Chan tilts his head to the side. "No. You know I'm straight, Bin. He's great but I don't want to
jump in bed with him."
"Mhm." He starts trying to head to his room when Chan walks up beside him and places a
hand on his shoulder to pull him back.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Good night." Changbin breaks away and shuts the door behind him before plopping
down on the bed.

"So what are we?"

"What are we?"

"Yea." Changbin scootches closer to Hyunjin on the couch and takes his hand. "What do you
want from me?"

"I… uh… I don't know."

"Do you want me?"

Hyunjin peers up at him, his face immediately flushing. "I… uh…"

"Just tell me, Hyunjin. Do you want me?"

"I don't know."

Changbin retreats slightly. "You don't know?"

"Changbin, I… I don't know. You hated me just the other day. How am I supposed to suddenly
start believing you?"

"You kissed me back."

"I did, I wanted to."

"Then what's the -"

"I don't know if I can trust you."

"Okay… what's keeping you from trusting me?"

"You have to understand where I'm coming from. You're not stupid."

"So I'm delusional?"

"Hm?"

"You didn't answer the question."

"You're… well…"

Changbin simply sits there, watching Hyunjin's eyes as they falter across the fabric of the
cushion.

"I think we shouldn't be together. At least not yet."

"Why not?"

"Do I need to say it again? You hated me until you showed up to my house and started
groping me."

"I didn't exactly -"

"Okay, fine, sensually touching and making out with me. It was impulsive, Changbin."

"Am I delusional?"

Hyunjin huffs, properly turning his head to look at the screensaver flashing across the TV
screen.

"No."

"No?"

"No, but…" he takes a deep breath, "I need a second. I just broke up with someone and have
been having a really hard time. I don't think I'm ready to throw myself into another
relationship, especially when I hardly know you."

"You knew Minho?"

"Enough. Changbin, let's just wait. You're insanely hot and have your moments of kindness
but… well…"

"But what?"
"I don't think I want to be with someone who can't make up their mind."

"I can't make up my mind?"

"You loved me and hated me in the same breath."

"I've realized lately that my anger is misplaced and you've done absolutely nothing wrong.
I'm lashing out at those around me from some shit I'm still coming to terms with -"

"Then you need to take a break and learn from that. Distracting yourself has already hurt me,
who you claim to like. You need to be happy before you drag me down with you. You also said
you're thinking about your ex, that's not the healthiest thing to bring into a new relationship."

"But…" He struggles to find the words.

"Changbin, please. Find yourself first. In the meantime, I'll figure out how I feel. 'Fall for the
guy who's mean to you' is a fun trope but I don't know if the real life version of that can
manage to not be toxic. Find yourself and I'll find me."

"Do you… uh… want to stay away from me then?"

"No," he shakes his head intently, "I still want to get to know you. I want to be your friend
first, lover second… if the lover part ever happens."

Changbin drops his head and removes his hand just for Hyunjin to take it back.

"This isn't no, this is a maybe later. We both need to be in a better place. Please, understand
where I'm coming from."

"I do. I really do."

Hyunjin takes Changbin's hand up to his mouth and kisses the back. "Also, you're a really
good kisser."

A smirk pulls at Changbin's lips. "Am I?"

"Yea. I'll be thinking about it while I make my decision."

"Don't want lust to override your brain?"

"If I had, we'd be in bed right now."

Changbin giggles and Hyunjin drops it with a faint smile.

"I'll see you at the studio, yea?"

"Yea."

He lets out a big sigh and falls onto his back, his eyes mindlessly wandering around the lines
in the ceiling.

I did this to myself.

Knock knock.

He jolts up and straightens his clothes, passively combing his hair with his hands. "Come in."

"Hey Bin." Chan says with a warm smile as he peaks through the now cracked door. "Can we
talk?"

"About what?"
His smile drops slightly and he casually walks over to the bed. "Just about things."

"Hyung."

"Binnie," he sits down next to him and faces the side, looking over his shoulder to gaze at
him, "please talk to me."

"I don't know what you're on about."

"Yes you do. Why are you asking me about Hyunjin?"

"I don't know, you guys just seem to have gotten close."

"Is that a problem? I can't make friends?"

"It's not that."

"Then why is it?"

Changbin stares blankly ahead. Chan licks his lips and turns around to sit properly next to
him.

"Changbinnie, I want to help you but can't if you don't let me in."

"Nothing's wrong."

"That's such a lie."

"No it's not."

"You're so difficult."

"Then leave me alone."

"Tell me what's on your mind."

"Just drop it, hyung."

"No."

"Drop it."

"No."

"Chan." Changbin half-yells, his eyes quickly welling up. "Stop."

"Bin." He pulls Changbin into a hug, triggering him to burst into tears. "What's wrong?"

"I like him."

"Huh?"

"Hyunjin. I like him."

Chan gently caresses his back with his fingertips, his shirt already soaking where Changbin's
face is pressed against his chest. "Why is that upsetting you?"

"I kissed him."

Chan's eyes widen. "You did?"

"That's where I was."

"Did it not go well?"

"He told me the truth."

"What do you mean? Does he not like you back?"

"He told me I loved and hated him in the same breath and he can't trust someone who can't
make up his mind."

Chan silently continues rubbing, glancing down and around the crinkled bedsheet.

"He said neither of us are ready to be in a relationship. He looked through my song book and
saw what I wrote about Felix. He asked why I cheated on him and I told him it was the
insecurities and attention. He probably thinks I'd do that to him."

"It makes sense, Bin."

"I know. He deserves so much better than me but I want him. I want him so bad."

"When did you realize you like him?"

"He's been so much nicer than I thought he'd be, so talented, so pretty. When I saw how
broken he was when he saw Han, it broke my heart seeing him like that. Him choosing you
over me because I'd been horrible to him hurt a lot. I deserve to be alone."

"No, you don't. He said you're not ready, right?"

"Yea."

"So did he explicitly turn you down?"

"Well…" Changbin lifts up from Chan's grip, passively rubbing his puffy eyes and red
cheeks. "...no. He said we need to find ourselves. To be friends first."

"Great. It's settled."

"Huh?"

"Be his friend. Build a solid foundation. Show him how much you love and care for him, how
you want to be next to him."

"But what if it never goes past that?"

"Do you want him in your life? Can you be friends if he doesn't choose you?"

"I don't know. It'd suck."

"I'd say if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out and that's okay. You know the phrase, 'it's
better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?'"
"Yes."

"Try it. If it's meant to be it'll be."

"How could I look at him if he turns me down?"

"You'll never have to see him again after the song."

"He's all over TV."

"Change the channel." Chan pushes a strand of one of Changbin's longer hairs behind his ear.
"If he doesn't reciprocate, you'll find someone else."

"I'm scared he'll change his mind once he gets to know me."

"Changbin, you're amazing. Anyone with eyes can see that."

"Are you sure you're not gay?"

"Yes, I just want girls, Bin. I'm comforting my distressed best friend."

Changbin cracks a smile.

"Let Hyunjin get to know the real you, not the you with the massive walls you've built up. If
he loves you he'll stay, if he decides he doesn't you can try again with someone else. Just,
please, don't put words in his mouth. Don't tell yourself things that you have no reason to
think are true. Believe what he says. Don't doubt yourself, please."

"It's hard."
"I know. He'd be so lucky to have you and you need to show him that. Be his friend, if you're
meant to be you'll become more."

"Thanks, Chan. Thank you for always being there for me."

"I'll always be your shoulder to cry on. Always."

Hyunjin's in a nearby coffee shop, gently sipping his iced americano and staring out the
window. He sees a familiar person walk by and instantly tenses. He stands up to leave as the
cafe door opens, but looks up and meets his eyes.

"Hyunjin."

"I'm leaving." He swiftly pushes past him but is stopped by a small hand.

"Please, let's talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"But I have a lot to say to you."

"Too bad."
"Hyunjin, please."

"Shut it Jisung, I'm gone." He continues on but, just as he grabs the doorknob, he hears
Jisung's voice.

"I was the one who came onto him."

Hyunjin pauses and huffs, dropping his head and his hand. "I don't care."

"It was my fault. I knew he was in a relationship and was selfish."

"No, it wasn't your fault."

"But I made the first move -"

"He still let you." Hyunjin looks up and over to him. "He still laid in bed with you, the same
bed we woke up in together that morning."

Jisung's face goes pink, he glances frantically across the floor. "Please, let's talk."

"No."

"I'm begging you."

"Why? So you can tell me how much happier he is with you?"

"I just want to say I'm sorry."

"Apology not accepted."

"Hear me out -"

"No. I'm not ready to hear anything you have to say. He betrayed me by sleeping with you
then coming by my place to cuddle me for god knows how many days, weeks… months? Not
like I want to know anyway. I don't trust either of you."

They both take a moment of silence, simply staring into each other.

"If you really want to talk, give me time. I can't look at you right now."

Hyunjin exits and hastily walks across the street to the park. He takes a seat with his half-
empty cup and huffs. He looks around at the little kids playing in front of their smiling
parents, the dogs, the crowd at the basketball game down the way.

Ding.

Changbin

Hey

Wanna work on the song?

Me

Not really

Changbin

I'm sorry about earlier

I don't regret it though

Me

I'm sorry but I'm really not in the mood

Changbin

Please

I'll buy you dinner

Not as a date, I promise

Friends

We're friends

Hyunjin huffs and rolls his eyes.

Me

When?

Changbin

Now?

Me

Fine
Hyunjin opens the studio door to a box on the table and Changbin glued to the monitor.
"Hey."

He swivels around with a weak smile. "Hey. I got you some fancy ramen."

"Fancy ramen?"

"I got it from a restaurant, it's not instant. There's also a soda in the mini fridge if you want
it."

Hyunjin slowly nods and walks over to take it out then sits on the couch.

"So, how have lyrics been going? I've basically gotten the instrumental done."

"Honestly, uh," Hyunjin takes the box and the nearby disposable chopsticks, "I've not been in
the mood to work on it."

Changbin's face scrunches. "No?"

"No."

"Well… that's fine, we can just go through the track and change anything you think could use
it. Also we can do some -"

"Changbin."

"Huh?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Genuine shock washes over him. "What do you mean why am I doing this… what am I
doing?"

Hyunjin blankly stares at a confused Changbin. "You really want to see me?"

"Yea, why would I not?"

Hyunjin's eyes drop and Changbin's face flattens.

"You said we should be friends and I want to be your friend. Also, we kinda have to work
together. We can't exactly ignore each other with a deadline."

"I know that, I just… I don't know."

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly…" Hyjnjin flickers back up to him just to drop back down, "not exactly."

"What's up? Want to talk about it?"

"Well… uh…"

"Maybe I can help. Try me."

"You don't have to help me."

"I want to. I care about you and if I can help you in some way I will."
Hyunjin's eyebrows fall as he looks intently into Changbin's eyes, loosens up and glances
back down at the table. "I maybe saw Jisung."

"You did?"

"Yea, I was at a cafe and he came in."

"Did you talk?"

"No. Well… yes. I told him I didn't want to see him and left."

"Did he want to talk?"

"Yea, I just can't look at him."

Changbin's body is now fully facing him and Hyunjin has his undivided attention. "It really
hurt you, huh?"

"Yea. I've been nothing but second best my whole life."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"Hyunjin-ah, I don't think we need to have our last conversation again, but you know what
I'm going to say. You're so worthy and need to believe in yourself more."
"It's really hard to when you're constantly lied to and cheated on."

Changbin huffs as tension fills his chest. "I'm so sorry."

"Have you ever been cheated on?"

"Me?"

"Yea."

"Um… no. I don't think so."

"But you've done the cheating?"

He closes his eyes for an extra long moment and quietly huffs. "Yes, I have."

"You said you regret it?"

"Yea."

"Do you miss him?"

"Who?"

"Felix was his name, right?"

Changbin takes a deep breath and takes a moment to collect his thoughts. "Why do you ask?"

"We're friends, no?"

"Well, I… uh… I do miss him, yea. Granted it's been a long time and he's moved on -"

"But you've not?"

"Wasn't done." Changbin glances up with a slight smile to assure there's no tension, which
Hyunjin reciprocates. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I definitely regret it and know I did him
so dirty. I've come to realize that if it'll be it'll be, and if me breaking him is what he needed
to find the love of his life then it was for the best."

"He's married now, right?"

"Yea. He posted something about adoption a couple months ago so I guess you could add
'with kids' to that."

Hyunjin lightly nods and directs his attention down to the dish to grab some more food while
Changbin notices the quiet and looks over at him.

"Ya know, you've been a big help to me."

"Hm?" He goes back up with a mouth full of noodles to meet Changbin's gaze.

"You made me realize how horrible I was to everyone around me. You've tolerated me when
you shouldn't have and have made an effort to get to know me despite how cold I was to you.
I know you don't trust me, I wouldn't trust me either, but I just want to thank you for waking
me up."

"I'm… uh… still confused."

"I didn't think I'd like anyone ever again. You're pretty and sassy and such a warm presence."

Hyunjin's eyes widen and he glances back down with a gulp. "Changbin, we're not doing
this."

"I know. I just… well… also want you to know that I care about you and appreciate you, and
if you never end up liking me past platonic that's on me and I deserve it."

"Well, there's two things wrong with that statement."

"Hm?"

"One, not liking someone doesn't mean they did anything wrong, it could just be preference.
Two, I never said I didn't like you past platonic."

"No?"

"No, I said neither of us were stable enough to be in a relationship right now and should start
as friends, not that we should only ever be friends. I like you, Changbin, I'm just not ready to
risk being hurt again."

Changbin's blankly staring into Hyunjin's side profile as he shyly eats his noodles. A slight
smile pulls onto Hyunjin's lips.

"You're so stubborn and a horrible listener."

Changbin shyly glances down and smiles as Hyunjin lifts back up to him. "I know, I get that
complaint a lot."

"So… um…" Hyunjin puts down the utensil and dabs his mouth with a napkin. "Ready to
work? You're done eating, right?"
Changbin follows and piles Hyunjin's trash on his. "Yea, let's get to work."
 Ready
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Hello?"

"Hey. I have the day off and was wondering if you'd want to go do something?"

Changbin looks around the studio, piles of papers in the corner and his eyes blurry from
staring at the screen. "Sure. What you want to do?"

"Not sure. You at the studio? I'll think of something on my way."

"Coming to pick me up?"

"Problem?"

"No, I just know you're a passenger princess. Ya know, with your sunglasses and coffee cup
with your feet on the dashboard?"

"I'm walking there, thank you. I was already out and am only like five minutes away. We're
taking your car. You better stay in your lane, Seo."

"Or what? You gonna hit me?"

"I hate you."

"Love you too." Changbin giggles as the phone cuts off from the other end. He goes back to
the computer just to log out of his programs and grins when he sees the file name "Ice
Cream". He shuts his lyric book and takes a moment to haphazardly organize the desk to pass
the time. Once he finishes, only a couple minutes have passed and he pulls his notebook back
out.

I was so mad when he looked into this. My deepest darkest secrets are in here disguised with
rhymes.

He flips to a specific page he's visited a lot over the last year, the song that manages to haunt
him the most of the hundreds he's written.

I didn't know my place and I let you go. I hate myself for regretting it this much. I can't
control it, I miss you. You've grown so distant from me. I can't reach you but now live in the
pain of not being able to forget you.

He traces the hand-written lyrics with his fingertip, letting his eyes wander along the page.

It's finally done.

Changbin pulls out his phone, book still open, and pulls up his ex-partner's social media
account. He looks up the name for the first time in weeks and passively scrolls for just a
second, one of his most recent posts is impossible to miss.

Felix Yang (Lee)

It's official… we're going to be fathers! I'm so glad I get to explore this next chapter of my life
with the best thing that's ever happened to me. Thank you for being so amazing during this
whole process. I wouldn't trade you for the world. I love you so much Innie. Just one month
to go until our little family gets just a little bigger but full of so much more love.

Changbin smiles at the sweet selfie between the two men, forming a heart with one of each of
their hands, and exits the app.

I feel… nothing.

"Ya!"
Changbin looks up and instantly grows hostile. "Ya! Don't ya me! I'm older!"

"Then listen since you're so smart. Oh wait, you said you're older. Can you hear me old
man?" He exaggerates, Changbin jumping up and throwing his arms around a now giggling
Hyunjin.

"You brat!"

"Oh please, you know you love me."

They finally stop laughing, the playful tension dies down, Hyunjin straightens out his flowy
shirt and Changbin blushes.

"So did you think of anywhere?"

"No, you didn't give me time. Also you said you would think of something."

"Hm… I was thinking somewhere I don't have to hide."

"One of your usual places?"

"I don't think so… how about we take a little trip?"

"What kind of little trip?"

"Beach trip."

"Beach trip?... Hyunjinnie, that's kind of a long drive. Don't you have work here in the
morning?"
"But I want to watch and listen to the waves now. "

"You're so spoiled."

"Whose fault is that? You've done everything I want the last couple weeks."

Changbin scowls but Hyunjin is simply amused.

"If you're too tired to drive back I can do it so you can sleep."

"You realize who you're talking to right?"

Hyunjin raises his eyebrows.

"I'm a music producer. I live with Bang Christopher Chan. We don't sleep. Sleep is for the
weak."

"Says the one who falls asleep on the couch everytime we watch TV."

"Aish," he obnoxiously shakes his head, "no I don't."

"I'm not here to argue with you, we're wasting time. Come on." Hyunjin takes Changbin's
hand and drags him toward the door. "What about my work? You're not the only one with a
job, you know!"

"You don't sleep, remember? Work when we get back."

Changbin grins and swiftly matches his pace.

"'Bout time you caught up, must be your short legs."

"Ya!"
"Isn't this nice?" Hyunjin says with his bare feet in the sand, leaning backward onto his hands
and head gently draped back. "You know you're glad you came."

"I have so much to do."

"You could've stopped me. You literally drove the entire way here."

"... Not the point."

Hyunjin smirks and sits upright. "We haven't been here together, have we?"

"Nope, we've talked about coming… ya know, I never took you to be an impulsive type."

"I have my moments." He takes a deep, relaxed breath. "I used to come here with my mom
for mini vacations."

"Did you now?"

"Yea. We'd come every couple of months when she had a weekend off. She loved watching
the sunset by the sea."

Changbin's chest grows tense. "I'm so sorry."

"Huh?" Hyunjin looks over in confusion.

"You said she used to… how are you doing? Has it been a long time?"

"Oh, my bad," he turns his attention back to the ocean view, "she's alive and well. Hanging
out back home."

"You had me for a second there."

"No no, I assure you she's completely fine. We talk almost every day. How have I never
mentioned that?"

"We haven't exactly gotten serious in a while, have we?"

"No, I guess not. It's not even that serious though. Also we don't end up talking when either
of us are busy, I usually call her before bed."

"Yea, I wouldn't know 'cause you never let me stay for a sleepover."

"You're a grown man… and wildly clingy."

Changbin widely grins. "So… uh… your dad not come with you two?"

"Nope. He left when I was young. Don't even know who he is, I was so young. I never cared
to ask."

"So she was a single mom?"

"Yea. She worked in a hospital so her shifts were long and inconsistent. We weren't
struggling though, she managed to take care of me just fine. Even helped me with my
homework and made dinner some nights when she could."

"Wow. Usually kids don't see their single parents much."

"I got lucky with her. She's the best mom I could've ever asked for."

"Well good. You said you were an only child, right?"

"Yea, she said quality over quantity. She wanted to raise me well and give me lots of
opportunities, especially when she started raising me alone. She always worked so hard and
did her best so I wouldn't miss out on anything."

"Did she date anyone?"

"If she did she didn't tell me. She'd have her siblings and friends come over to hang out
sometimes. She'd even invite me to some of their movie nights."

"So you had a good childhood?"

"Amazing. I have lots of good memories. A big reason I wanted to get famous was to make
enough money to do my part and help her out. Thankfully I've been making good progress on
that front. Now, how about you, Mr. Rich Kid?"

"I fought with my sister a lot. My parents worked 9-5 jobs and we were forced to sit at the
table to have dinner every night as a family. I'd always finish fast and go hide in my room to
play on the computer."

"Video games?"
"Music."

"So you do just play on the computer."

"You're still insufferable. I didn't have my own recording studio at 10 years old, thank you
very much."

Hyunjin brightly laughs and Changbin's natural smile grows wider.

"I loved listening to it, I watched some tutorials when I got a little older, met Chan through
music theory class in school. The rest is history."

"Seems like you had a good childhood too."

"Yea, it was alright. Adulthood's so much better though."

"Agreed. We have money and can take random trips to the beach."

"Yea, because your friend decided he needed to go now ."

"I just like hanging out with you in pretty places, now I'm sorry."

Changbin playfully shakes his head.

"For real though, thanks for coming with me."

"Would I have had a choice?"

"You would have, you just give in to me so easily."

"That pretty little ego of yours can stay in its lane. Anyway, what time you wanna head
back?"

"After sunset?"

"Sure."

They both intently watch as the sun ever so slowly approaches the near horizon.

"I haven't watched a sunset in a long time."

"And now you have."

"Thanks for dragging me here."

"Again, you drove."

"Okay, fine."

The sky gradually grows darker as the sun starts to drop behind the water.

"I have a question."

"Mhm?"

"Would you like to read a song I've been working on?"

"You have the lyrics with you?" Hyunjin asks.

"I have some on my phone. It's not quite finished yet."

"What's it called?"

"Here." Changbin pulls out his phone from his pocket and does a bit of tapping before
handing it over.

He takes it and immediately focuses, his face slightly illuminated by the light from the
screen. "Streetlight."

"Mhm."

There's a few moments of silence as he reads, the odd scroll down breaking up the lack of
movement. "This is deep, hyung. it's so good but so… I don't know… sad."

"Let's just say I've been putting all of my pent up emotions and insecurities into my
songwriting. I figured I would do this one for myself, maybe even release it. Maybe I'll feel
some kind of closure to let out what I've been holding back for so long."

"So you feel better?"

"I do. I finished the last line and felt a sense of relief. I'm ready, ya know?"

"I know." He softly smiles and rests a hand on Changbin's upper thigh. "You're happy now?"

"Very." He looks forward to the gentle waves, Hyunjin taking his hand off after several
moments to go back to his backward-leaning position.

"Let me know when you finish it. I guess I'll have to come visit while you're working on it."
"Oh, poor thing." Changbin teases.

"Really though, you're extremely talented. I'm sure you've been told that a lot, though."

"I have, but it hits different when someone you care about tells you."

Hyunjin slowly turns his head and makes unnecessarily intense eye contact with the man next
to him. "I guess I'll finally have to hear you sing, right?"

"Damn it." Changbin licks then purses his lips, turning his head back toward the water.
Hyunjin giggles and dramatically claps his hands, making Changbin immediately lose his
fake anger and giggle alongside him.

Changbin turns off the car, looks over at Hyunjin and watches as his chest barely rises and
falls with each sleeping breath. Several moments pass before he decides to put his hand on
his thigh and gently shake it. "Jinnie," he whispers, "we're back."

"Mmmmmm." He groans, dropping and leaning his head against Changbin's arm, "I don't
wanna get up."

He huffs in light laughter. "So lazy. And you said I would fall asleep."

"Mm."

"Come on, I'll carry you up before I go."

"Why do you have to go?"

Changbin scrunches his forehead. "Why? You never want me to stay over."

"I want to snuggle."

"Do you really?"

"Mhm." Hyunjin grasps Changbin's arm and lightly caresses it with his index finger. "Stay
with me."

"You're acting like you drank way more than you did. You had two glasses of wine at
dinner."

"Fine," he scoffs, "I'll go myself." He sits up to take off his seatbelt and exits the car.

Changbin smirks at his irritation and gets out as well. He almost immediately catches up to a
wobbly Hyunjin and puts a hand on his shoulder. "You're not walking straight, you're still
half asleep. I'll help you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm fi-" He suddenly stumbles over his own feet,
Changbin swiftly catching him and pulling him into a hug.

"You sure about that? Let me carry you."

"I'm okay, I'm independent." His voice is groggy as he resumes stumbling forward.

Changbin sighs with amusement, puts one arm under Hyunjin's knees and effortlessly pulls
him up into a bridal-style carry. "And you say I'm stubborn."
"I get it, I get it, we're both hypocrits."

Changbin grins and carries him up to Hyunjin's apartment, taking the dangling key from his
hand and unlocking the door.

"You're breaking iiiiiiin."

"You're literally with me."

"So?"

"Shh, you're tired."

Hyunjin's eyes are fluttering with long blinks as Changbin carries him into his bedroom and
lays him down on the bed.

"Relax for a minute, I'll be right back." Changbin leaves for the kitchen and returns with a
glass of water. "Drink some. You need to stay hydrated."

"What are you, my mom? You said yourself that I barely drank anything. I'm fine."

"Doesn't matter. Here." Changbin tugs on his arm to encourage him to sit up, which he
reluctantly does. He slowly brings the water up to Hyunjin's lips just for him to take it away.

"I can drink it myself." He whines, triggering Changbin to smirk. He sips away and Changbin
notices a slight tint in his cheeks. He places the back of his hand onto his forehead.

"You're a little warm."

"Well I'm a little drunk."

"So you admit it?"

"Whatever." He places the empty glass on the sidetable and slides back down into a laying
position. "Goodnight."

"I thought you wanted me to come up for snuggles?"

Hyunjin looks over his shoulder back to him, shifts his eyes, and quickly licks his lips. "Oh
yea."

"Want me to leave?"

"No." Hyunjin turns around enough to take Changbin's arm and pull it over his shoulder,
effectively forcing him down and behind him. "Snuggles."

Changbin grins, snuggles and rubs his face into Hyunjin's shoulder blade. "Goodnight." With
a lack of response, he lifts up enough to see Hyunjin's eyes are closed and he's sound asleep.
"Goodnight, Hyunjinnie. See you in the morning."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Changbin sleepily turns off the alarm, unwraps himself from Hyunjin's somehow maintained
grasp and takes a moment to think. He gets out of bed and makes his way into the kitchen,
rummaging through the cabinets.
"What are you doing?" Hyunjin rubs his eyes and exits the room. "Do I smell…?"

"Hotteok."

"You're making hotteok for breakfast?"

"Want some?"

"Absolutely."

"What to drink?"

"Water's fine."

"I'm literally about to plate them. Go ahead and sit down, I'll bring everything to you."

He goes to the couch and Changbin soon follows, handing him the plate.

"Here ya go."

"Thanks."

"So, how you feeling?"

"I'm good."

"You had two glasses -"

"I'm aware. I imagine you won't let that go anytime soon."

"Absolutely I won't."

Hyunjin smirks and takes a bite.

"You were quite warm last night, you sure you feel okay?"

"Yea, I feel completely fine. I promise."

Changbin takes it upon himself to place his hand against his forehead again, though is
satisfied with the neutral temperature. "Good, you were just wasted on wine."

"Shush."

They eat for a bit in silence.

"I don't wanna go to work."

"You have to make that money."

"I know. What plans you have for the day?"

"Just working on songs, the usual."

"Mind if I come by when I'm done with the shoot?"

"Not at all. We can work on ours."

"For sure."
They finish the last few bites of their food and place the plate down.

"So, uh, thanks for staying over last night."

"No problem, I couldn't leave you alone in that state. You were pitiful."

"I hate you."

"Even more? Wow."

Hyunjin playfully smacks his arm.

"Really though, anytime you need me, I'm here."

"I appreciate it. It's nice to have someone in my corner."

"Want me to drop you off the office? I'm going there anyway."

"Sure."

"Well when you get ready we'll go. We don't have much time to get you there."

"Don't you need to change?"

"I have a box of clothes at the studio for when I decide not to go home."

"Of course you do." He grins and stands up. "I'll just throw something on, I'll change there
anyway. Be right back." He walks into the bedroom and Changbin smiles watching after him.
 "Bye bye Hyunjinnie, talk to ya later." Changbin steps off the elevator but halts and turns
around after hearing a tiny "hey" from behind him. "What's up?"

"Wanna grab dinner tonight?"

"I'd love to. Meet me at the studio when you're done."

"You'll still be here?"

"It'd be weird if I wasn't."

"Cool. I'll see ya later."

"See ya Jinnie."

As the door closes, Hyunjin peeks out and follows the shutting sliver with his head to say
"Bye Binnie hyung!"

Changbin fights a smirk as he walks to the studio door, unlocks it and lets himself in. He
shuts it just to place his back against it and stays still staring into the room, the flurrying
thoughts of Hyunjin putting his heart into a frenzy.

Chapter End Notes

... Not me giving Hyunjin the alcohol tolerance of San from Ateez.
 Beautiful
Chapter Notes

For warning, there is some light discussion of SA, specifically in the scope of the
entertainment industry. No actual descriptions.

Hyunjin

I'm here

Me

I'll meet you at the front

"Okay Chan, I'll be back."

"He here?"

"Yea."

"Want me to leave you guys alone?"

"Why would I want you to do that?"

"Do I really need to ask?"

Changbin looks over with a side eye to Chan, who is shooting him a mischievous smile. "Up
to you."

"I'll take a hint later if necessary, don't cause too much suspicion."

"It's not a date."

"Watching a movie when we only have a chair and a loveseat? And I'm in the chair? Yea,
okay." He smirks and makes an air heart with his fingers.

"Hyung."

"Okay, okay, go bring Jinnie up."

"Hey Chan, how are you? It's been a while." Hyunjin smiles as he walks in before Changbin.

"Hey! I know, you've spent so much time with Changbin lately that I've hardly gotten to see
you."

Changbin glares, Hyunjin blushes and Chan is obviously unbothered.

"The food just got here, help yourself."

"Thanks."

Hyunjin turns around and Changbin places a finger up to his own neck to slide it across the
front. Chan playfully holds his hands up in fake surrender before faintly giggling.

"What's so funny, Chan hyung?"

Their eyes both widen, Hyunjin's attention still on his own hand as he casually pours himself
some water.

"Nothing, Jinnie, just excited for our date." Chan says brightly.

"Of course you are."

Changbin rolls his eyes and grabs a plate for some food.

Changbin eyes slowly flutter open, his hand naturally raises to rub against them and he
haphazardly looks around. He quickly realizes Hyunjin's head is resting gracefully on his
thigh, just as asleep as he himself was moments ago. "Hyunjinnie," he whispers, "are you
awake?" He ever so gently shakes Hyunjin's upper leg, then his shoulder, then rests his palm
on his head and strokes his hair.

"What you doing up there?"

Changbin shakes off his sudden nervousness and Hyunjin's tiny laughter fills the space.

"Hitting on me when I'm unconscious?"

"It's… uh…" Changbin tries to hide his panic to little success.

"I'm kidding," Hyunjin sits up enough to rest his hand on Changbin's thigh to hold himself
up, "no need to stress."

Changbin's eyes flash down to Hyunjin's lips and absentmindedly licks his. Hyunjin glances
down with a smirk and fully raises to sit normally.

"I can't believe I fell asleep."

"You've been working hard lately."

"Yea, but the least I could've done is stay awake for our date."

"Our… date?" Changbin fights a smirk.

"Yea. Friend date, right? Us and Chan." Hyunjin looks over to the recliner that Chan's passed
out in. "Well, fine. Just us, I guess."

"Ya know," Changbin swiftly attempts to change the subject, "I've made some changes to the
track, you should come by and hear it."

"For sure, how about tomorrow?"

"I can do that."

"Great."

"So, uh, what else you got planned for the night?"

"Nothing, just to hang out with you."

"Me?"

"Well… you guys."

"Uh huh."

Hyunjin subtly blushes and looks forward to the scrolling credits. "You know, I've written
some more lyrics. We do only have 2 weeks left. We still have to record the final too."

"Well I can't wait to read them. Or… rather… you want to read them to me?"

"You sure?"

"Absolutely." Changbin sits up, undivided attention on Hyunjin and crosses his legs on the
couch to face him. Hyunjin follows his lead, facing him the exact same way and pulls out his
phone.

"I'm already wrong. There's a set answer, an objective reply to a subjective question. Imagine
falling into your dizzying charms. As someone who's fallen in love, it's a bit hard to explain
while being blinded by love. So baby what you what you want, if it's what you want, we can
take a trip to somewhere near the galaxy. This may be an exaggeration, but there's nothing I
can't do."

Changbin is simply lost in the movement of Hyunjin's lips, his soft voice is music to his ears
even just by speaking. Over the last few weeks of casual hang-outs, Changbin's grown more
and more fond of it everytime Hyunjin's opened his mouth.

"-bin… Changbin."

"Hm?" He snaps out of his light distraction and initiates eye contact.

"You good?"

"I'm great… these are really nice, a bit more positive than the other lines."

"I think I know where I want them to go in the verses too, I just need to finalize that."
"It's hard to believe we're almost done with it."

"I know, I'm gonna miss working on a song with you."

"We don't have to stop after this one."

"Hm?"

"I'd… ya know… like to have you on another track."

"Which one?"

"Haven't decided yet. Whichever one feels right."

They stare blankly into each other's eyes, locked into every speck and rare blink, taking in
how beautiful the other's are.

"I'd… uh… I'd love that."

"Aaaaaand the chorus is done." Changbin leans back dramatically in his chair with a smile.
"You've done an amazing job in this process, Jin."
"Says the guy who said I'm only good at being pretty." He sasses as he comes out of the
recording booth and sits down.

"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?"

Hyunjin smiles and looks up at him from Chan's chair. "Never."

"Really though, I deserve it…" his grin falls, "I'm still really sorry for how I treated you in
the beginning. I needed to get my shit together and couldn't then you did your best to get me
in the moment but I wouldn't listen and -"

Hyunjin places a gentle hand on Changbin's knee, effectively and immediately shutting him
up and earning his undivided attention.

"I get it, you're a sad and salty little man."

"I'm not little." Changbin huffs.

"Stand up."

"Shush."

Hyunjin lightly chuckles. "But really, how are you doing? That time I stole a peak into your
book it was quite depressing. Then there's the most recent song…"

"When I finished the one you read about Felix, I feel a weird sense of peace. I think between
letting everything out and finding solace in my daily life has helped me move on. I'm still
working through some things but I haven't been this happy in a long time."

"What's helped you?"

"You really need to ask that?"

"I don't like to assume."

"You, Hyunjin… you changed everything. Thank you for showing me happiness."

"I didn't do much."

"No, but that doesn't mean what you did wasn't impactful."

"You're giving me a lot of credit, I feel like Chan deserves most of that. He's your best friend
and you love him."

"Without you I wouldn't have gotten over Felix, you initiated Chan's more recent pep talks.
Also, I love him in a different way."

Several moments of loud silence are interrupted by Hyunjin's phone ringing. He hastily grabs
it to answer. "Hello?... Mhm… uh…" He looks down at his watch, "Yea, sure…. Yea, I'm
already in the building, I'll be right up… okay, bye." He hangs up with a sigh and slides his
phone in his coat pocket. "They want me to come upstairs and do a quick ad shot. The guy
they originally had is out sick and they need to send it in by tomorrow. I… uh… guess I have
to leave now." He stands up though Changbin follows.

"Could I… maybe… come with you?"

"Hm?"

"You've been in my world, I'd like to know about yours."

"I'm just gonna stand there and look pretty."

"You say that like it isn't still fun to watch."

Hyunjin simply stares at him, baffled, then lightly shakes himself out of it. "I mean, I guess.
It's up to you."

Changbin nods with a smile and grabs his coat, trailing behind Hyunjin out the door and up to
the studio.

How can someone be so pretty?

Hyunjin's in a long, flowy black gown and holding a perfume bottle, seductively staring into
the camera with a sensual head tilt, and Changbin's brain is in a flurry.

There's no way he's real.

"Great job, Hyunjin. We should've picked you first, huh? You fit the concept so well."

Changbin snaps back to reality and looks over to the photographer and director, who are both
now over to Hyunjin in his chair, patting him on the shoulder and praising him.

"Yea, Mr. Hwang. You did great. We can't wait to hear your OST, too."

He shyly bows his upper half. "We've been working very hard on it." He glances up at
Changbin, who's yet again in a daze, and softly smiles.
Changbin can't decipher the next part of what the two men say, he's too lost in Hyunjin's
intense smokey eye and is bracing himself for when he's back over next to -

"Hey Bin."

Changbin comes to yet again to Hyunjin standing in front of him, a sweet grin and twinkling
eyes that are only accentuated by the makeup.

"You're beautiful."

Hyunjin tilts his head in confusion, his blank expression not changing once he realizes what
his friend said. "Wanna go back to my place?"

"Your place?"

"Yea."

"You not have anything to do?"

"It's to apologize for cutting our time short earlier."

"Yea… uh… sure, we can do that."

"Cool, let me go get changed."

Changbin watches him leave, the train of the gown waving behind him and his perfect
silhouette walking away from him.
"So, what you wanna watch now?"

Hyunjin looks up and over from his end of the couch, gently placing one hand over his own
lower leg that's curled up next to him. "I don't know, if you have something in mind I'm
down."

"Mhm." He hums, holds the remote, and blankly stares into the TV.

"Changbin hyung."

"Hm?" He looks over to the still made-up Hyunjin, the only difference being he's in pajamas
but hasn't washed his face yet to Changbin's dismay.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine."

"You've just been… ya know… acting a little weird lately."

"I don't mean to," he panics and sits up from his relaxed state to a normal sit position, "I'm
okay."

"I feel like you're lying to me."

Changbin notices Hyunjin's face fall, his eyes grow sad and his eyes drop to the hand on his
leg. "Of course not, I would never lie to you. You know that."
"You don't seem fine and you tell me you are. That's a lie."

Changbin leans over to place his hand over Hyunjin's, who looks back up and into his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I've had a lot on my mind lately."

"Does Chan know?"

"Not really."

"Then will you tell me?"

"I… well, I don't know if I can."

"And why not?"

Changbin sits in silence, Hyunjin's eager eyes awaiting an answer.

"Bin?"

"I can't do this." He spits out and Hyunjin's face drops.

"Can't do what?"

"I…"

"What?"
"... I… I can't…"

"Do what, Changbin?"

"Just be your friend." He almost yells, shutting his eyes once he realizes what he's blurted
out.

Hyunjin is a statue, digesting the words he's heard. "... And why not?"

"Something about you tonight has made me realize I want no one else but you. I can't just be
your friend, I need to be more."

Hyunjin's still in shock, only blinking and gulping. "What did you just say?" He borderline
whispers.

"I like you, Hyunjin. I know I've told you that and it's still too soon but I like you… I'm sorry.
I thought I could get over myself. I'll… uh… see at the final recording session tomorrow. You
won't have to see me again." Changbin stands up in defeat to be swiftly brought into a hug.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hyunjin says with his chin pressed into Changbin's
shoulder.

"You said we need to be friends first, find ourselves. I can't keep this up and I'm sorry. I fell
too hard too fast."

"Changbin," Hyunjin pulls away and wraps his arms around his neck, "you can't be my
friend?"

"No. I know you're heartbroken, I know you're still struggling, I just can't -" He's cut off by
Hyunjin pressing his lips against his, Changbin immediately melting into him and his hands
instinctively wrap around Hyunjin's waist.
They go for a few moments before Hyunjin pulls away. "I like you too."

"But you said -"

"I know what I said. You've smiled so much lately, you weren't doing that before. You were
going through everyday with no cares about anyone but yourself, and barely even that.
You've worked hard to be better and I see your effort."

"But… it's not been that long."

"Love doesn't have a time limit, ya know?"

"Love?"

"Well, I don't know if I love you yet, exactly… but I'm willing to try."

"What if we break up?"

"If that time comes, we'll talk about it then, yea?"

"I don't want to mess this up. I don't want you to leave me."

"Then don't give me a reason to."

Changbin flickers between his eyes and lips, deciding he can't resist them anymore. He pulls
Hyunjin into him and they waste no time, Changbin gently pushing him back until they hit
the nearest wall. His hands wander all along his thin waist, Hyunjin's raising his to run
through his hair. He gently pulls and Changbin moans, leaving Hyunjin with a smirk as he
continues to kiss him. Once Changbin's hand snakes around to his back and down, Hyunjin
suddenly tenses and pulls away.

"I'm sorry." Changbin breathes as he comes back to earth.

"It's okay."

"Can we… well… can we talk for a minute?"

"What do you wanna talk about?"

"Well… uh… would you mind to tell me why you don't have sex?"

"Why I… don't…?"

"I know it's sudden and I don't mean to use this against you but you're insanely hot and I want
nothing more than to have you on your knees when you kiss me like that."

A pink hue tints Hyunjin's cheeks and he looks down to the floor with a grin. "I get it. I
haven't told you why."

"If it's a touchy subject or even if you just don't want to I'm okay with that, I just -"

"No, no, it's okay. Wanna sit?"

Changbin nods and they make their way over to the couch.

"So… uh… you know my job."

"Yea."

"You know how hard it is to get into the industry?"

"Yea, I've heard it's really competitive."

"A lot of the time, just being good isn't enough."

Changbin's chest tightens. "What do you mean?"

"I had so many auditions for various things, sent so many portfolios, and never got any calls.
That is, until one of the directors for a shoot called me back and into his office. He said he'd
give it to me if I did him… well… a favor."

"What kind of favor? That kind…?"

"A lot of models are forced to do sexual acts, especially women and gay men. If they refuse
they get blacklisted from the industry, their pay gets docked, they -"

"That all sounds highly illegal."

"But it happens. A lot."

"Isn't that sexual assault?"

"Absolutely, but they want the job so they put aside their dignity and morals to get where
they want to go."
"That's horrible."

"I know."

"Did you… well… do it?"

"It was my first call in two years and I wanted an in."

"Seriously?"

"Mhm. That's not to mention the people who are really into power dynamics."

"You mean…?"

"Sometimes I'd be kept after shoots."

"Are you saying…?"

"Let's just say I didn't want to stay over."

"Hyunjinnie."

"I know it's not right but it's what happens. We need a paycheck."

"Could you not pick a different job?"

"I really wanted to be a model. It doesn't happen near as often now that I've had a lot of work
and am quite well known. It happens a lot to newcomers specifically, but that doesn't mean it
doesn't still happen to the biggest names out there."

"Unbelievable."

"It's true. It happens in every aspect of the entertainment industry, too."

"And you don't have sex because of the trauma?"

"I just… I don't know… didn't ever do it for love. My first time was to get a job and I was too
busy trying to get work in the beginning for a real boyfriend. The bosses get more demanding
and expectant once you give in the first time, too. I associated foreplay with my partner with
those moments at work so it'd turn me off and I'd stop it. Even before then I was way too self-
conscious in general, I thought an ex would use it against me later in the tabloids or
something if I got famous enough."

"I'm so sorry. So you never did it with any of your boyfriends? Minho?"

"Nosy much?"

"I'm sorry, I just -"

"It's okay, but no I never did anything with Minho. We'd make out and grind a bit but I
wouldn't do anything else. I think that had a big part to do with why he cheated on me, I
wouldn't give him the reason he was with me."

"I doubt that was the only reason he was with you."

"He was a nice guy when he wanted to be. At least I found out so I could move on."
"You can move onto me." Changbin brightly smiles and Hyunjin scoffs with a grin. "Sorry, I
know this is a serious conversation."

"You don't have to apologize so much, I promise it's okay."

"I just want to say," he takes Hyunjin's hand in both of his, "I'll wait as long as you want me
to. I feel good around you, I love spending time with you, and I may love your body but it's
not everything."

"You're really okay?"

"Yes, of course. I'll do anything for you, Jin."

"Funny how you hated me not too long ago."

"I honestly couldn't keep it up for long. You quickly made me realize I was taking it too far
and I couldn't stop thinking about you…your lips are literally perfect."

"So that explains you showing up to my house and throwing yourself on me."

"I'm sorry for that too. I shouldn't have forced you into it."

Hyunjin leans in to give him a quick but passionate peck. "It's okay. I know you had no ill
intentions… if you hadn't done it I would've had no idea you were actually into me."

"I'm just scared you're going to leave when you find out I'm not that great."
"Changbin, you're willing to change. You've been good to me since that night. I personally
think you've grown enough to give you a chance. I wasn't expecting you to be perfect before I
agreed to a date. But, also, I'm going to tell you what you told me, that you're so much better
and worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. Your self-esteem isn't always
accurate. Personally, I've seen that you're passionate, love your job, treasure your friends, and
once you put your mind to something you are certain to do it. Those are good qualities to
have."

"Thank you."

"Now, enough with this serious talk for one night." Hyunjin grins and stands up, pulling
Changbin with him. "Wanna go lay in bed?"

"It's late, I didn't bring my toothbrush… or clothes… or -"

"Shush…" Hyunjin puts the index finger of his free hand over Changbin's lips, "remember
you sneaked an extra set of clothes into my drawer?"

Changbin shifts his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Last week when I came in from my shower I asked what you were doing and you said
'nothing' then when you left I looked through it and -" He's cut off by lips, triggering a giggle
from both of them. "Fine, and you can use my toothbrush."

"Huh? You hate that. You think it's gross."

"I do, but you've already shoved your tongue in my mouth once today."

A mischievous grin spreads across Changbin's face. "Awwwww Jinnie-aaaaaaah."

"I'm going to bed." He abruptly walks off, Changbin scurrying behind him.
"No, Jinnie come baaaaaack. I want a huuuuug!"
 Moving On

Hyunjin and Changbin decide to walk back to Changbin's place to get some fresh air and
mostly spend the time talking.

"Hey, look at that. We're here." Changbin lets go of Hyunjin's hand to type in the code.

"What you want for dinner?"

"Whatever you want darlin'."

"No."

"Sorry."

Hyunjin smirks as they walk in and make their way to the elevator. "Chan home?"

"I think so, but really I never know. I swear he's at the studio more than here. I think he only
comes by so I know he's alive."

"Where is he when we're using it? He doesn't seem to come by then."

"Want the truth?"

"Truth?"

"He just likes to leave us alone."

Hyunjin giggles. "Leave us alone?"

"Yea. He's been lowkey hoping we get together."

"Ah okay. Now I know why he told me to give you a chance."

The elevator door opens and they nonchalantly walk in.

"When was this?"

"Back when we first started working together. He told me he wouldn't be your friend if you
were how you were then when you met."

"In his defense, I still thought you were the worst then."

"Well not anymore, you don't."

When the door opens, they're met with Jisung staring at the floor, rolling back and forth on
the balls of his feet. Once it finally dings he looks up to meet their shocked eyes. "Oh, uh,
hey hyung."

Changbin looks over to Hyunjin in concern, who is staring at the visitor in mere silence. "Hey
Hannie," he directs to Jisung, "we're just gonna slide past you."

"Cool cool. Chan's home, I just came to visit. I'll see you later Binnie."
Changbin takes Hyunjin's hand to lead him out of the elevator just to be halted by his lack of
movement. "Jin?"

"Do you have time to talk?" Hyunjin deadpans.

Jisung's eyes are wide, Changbin's a close second in size, and Hyunjin resumes to blankly
stare.

"Um… yea. For sure. Where?" Jisung says with a surprised tone.

"Hey Bin, do you mind if I meet you here a little later?"

"Not at all, take your time." He says with polite enthusiasm, though inside he's incredibly
nervous.

"Wanna go to the park across the street?" Jisung offers.

"Why? So I can't kill you in broad daylight?"

Jisung's eyes grow even larger, triggering a smirk from Hyunjin.

"Kidding. The park is fine. I'll be back soon, Bin."

"You remember the code?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Want me to wait on dinner?"

"Hm…" he looks up to Jisung. "Nah. It won't be long."

Jiusng dramatically gulps as Hyunjin motions him into the elevator to stand next to him.

"The weather is really nice today, isn't it hyung? Oh, sorry, Hyunjin-ssi. Or, no, maybe
Hyunjinni-"

"Just call me Hyunjin."

Jisung looks next to him on the bench to Hyunjin taking a sip of his steaming cup of newly
bought coffee. "So… why did you want to talk to me alone?"

"Didn't you want to talk to me before?"

"Well… yea…"

"I'm willing to listen now."

"You are? Really?"

"Mhm." He lowers his hands and stares out to the view before them. "Are you guys still
together?"

"Yea, we are."
"I hope he treats you well."

"Well, ya know, he's really sweet, kind, caring… he's a little dense and intense sometimes but
overall -"

"He makes you feel like the only girl in the world?"

"Yea."

Hyunjin nods and takes another sip.

"Do you think he's gonna cheat on me?"

"Huh?"

"He cheated on you with me. Do you think he'll find someone better and cheat on me too?
Leave me? Like I'm not as great as he thought I was when we first met?"

"Don't know. Even if he does, think of it like you know better now and have more experience
in red flags."

"Honestly, though, I don't feel like there are any red flags. He's always so clingy, coming
over, making me dinner, he invites me over to spend the night all the time, he's given me lots
of gifts, takes me out to my favorite -"

"I wouldn't worry about him."

"Hm? Why is that?"

"Enjoy your relationship. Don't worry about the ifs. Once a cheater not always a cheater."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, but the way you're talking about him makes me think he's taking you more seriously
than he did with me."

"Yea?"

"Yea. If he gives you a reason to worry, worry. If not, just enjoy it and try to fix any problems
you have when they happen. Really though, if he does decide to cheat on you it doesn't mean
you did anything wrong."

"Did you guys have any problems?"

"None you need to know about."

"Sorry…"

"Jisung, I'm not mad at you."

"You sure? You were mad a few -"

"I know. Don't get me wrong, I can forgive but not forget."

"Well I appreciate that and I understand completely."

"Good. Now I don't exactly want to be your friend, at least yet, but I also don't want to hold
grudges. It's too much energy and I've never been this happy. I don't want these negative
emotions holding me down."

"Would it happen to be because of Binnie hyung?"

Hyunjin struggles to fight the grin. "He's great, and Minho screwing me over led me to him.
It worked out for the best. If it doesn't work out for you two, you'll find someone better for
you and lifts you up."

"Were you and Minho happy?"

"I thought we were, but also I thought he meant it when he said he loved me."

"He told me he did love you, he just -"

"Let me guess, loved you more."

Silence.

"Again, it's fine. Forgiven but not forgotten. I don't want to stay hung up on the past that I
can't change. If he loved me enough to be with me forever he wouldn't have needed a side
piece."

"Mhm."

"So why did you let him make a move on you when you knew he was with me?"

"I told you I made the first move -"

"Doesn't matter. He reciprocated, if he hadn't you wouldn't have been in his bed behind my
back."

"Honestly, he made me feel special. He smiles so bright when he's with me. He makes me
feel so warm inside, so loved. He's perfect… well, I guess as perfect as he can be for
someone who cheated on his boyfriend."

"If he's perfect for you then keep him close. Not in the sense of so he can't cheat, but treasure
him. If he loves you that much he won't need anyone else. We weren't meant to be, but maybe
you two are."

"Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?"

"... Again, I'm moving onto bigger and better things."

"Seo Changbin?"

"We're bettering each other and I like spending time with him. I like being around him. I want
to be next to him as long as I can."

"I hope that works out for you, I really do…" Jisung looks down with heavy eyes at his
intertwined hands.

"Hey now," Hyunjin places a hand on his shoulder, "don't start crying. Your tears aren't gonna
change my mind and make me want to be besties."

Jisung chuckles softly. "Maybe one day we can be?"

Hyunjin huffs. "Maybe, but not yet. I still need some time. I just wanted to let this part of my
past go."
"You haven't talked to Minho have you?"

"No, but it may make a good ending to all of this."

"I'll help you with anything you need. Anything you want me to do to make up for what I did
to you I will."

"One, I like my personal space. Two, keep Minho in line."

"Can do hyung."

"Excuse you?"

"Sorry, Hyunjin."

"Ya know… not besties… but I guess you can call me hyung if you really want to. Just don't
make it annoying."

"Ay-yi Hyunjinnie hyung!"

"Alright, that's enough. I take it back."

"I'm scared."
"Bin, he'll be fine."

"What if he -"

"I told you, he'll be fine. Jisung won't be a dead man. You've seen Hyunjin, right? They'd
both cry before either of them could even lift a hand to throw."

"Ya!"

The boys look over to Hyunjin standing in the front doorway.

"Love you too."

"Hey Jinnie." Chan awkwardly grins, stands up and walks to his room in silence.

"So," Changbin says as he pats the cushion next to him, "how did it go?"

"Good." He drops his bag on the counter and meets him there. "Just had a chat."

"Did anyone cry?"

"Nope."

"Is that 'cause you cried and you don't want to tell me?"

"Fuck you. No."

Changbin naturally leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek. They're both surprised by the
action, Changbin pausing right after and Hyunjin slowly turning his head to be a mere couple
of inches away.

"Sorry." Changbin mutters.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I keep doing things without consent."

"That was cute though."

"Was it? Your expression isn't telling me it was cute."

"I'm just a little caught off guard. You're not a very affectionate person."

"When I love someone I can get very affectionate."

"So you don't love me yet?"

Changbin's eyebrows raise. "It's only been a couple months since I've stopped hating you."

"Well, ya see, your reason for hating me was that everyone loved me, right? You stopped just
to jump in line."

Changbin scrunches his face and gently smacks Hyunjin's arm, making him playfully giggle
and swiftly reposition to lay on his lap to look up at him.

"I'm kidding."
"I know." Changbin begins to slowly stroke his hair. "I'm quite the lucky guy."

"I think I'm quite the lucky guy."

"I'm not that great."

"You're amazing, we've been over this."

"I've just fucked up so much."

"Fucking up in the past doesn't mean you'll do it in the future. Just be more cautious of how
you respond to difficult situations."

"You sound more and more like a self-help book each day."

"Problem?"

"No, I love that about you."

"Do you now?"

Changbin's joking eyes shift to adoring as he gently puts his hand behind Hyunjin's neck to
lift him up and meet him halfway into a soft kiss. "I also love your voice, your way with
words. There's so much to love."

"And yet you're not in love with me." Hyunjin teases.

"I don't want to jump into that too soon. I'm honestly glad you stopped me from a hook-up. I
want to build up a good relationship with you and I feel like I wouldn't have been able to
properly do that if we jumped into bed that soon."

"You've made a good effort… you do know sex can lead to love though, right?"

"It could, but I want to continue to get to know you first. I want to be better."

"You are better."

"I don't want to rush things and fuck it up. I want you in my life for a long time."

"Like I said, don't give me a reason to leave."

"Want to spend the night?"

"I have to go to work early and don't have clothes for bed."

"Can you wear whatever to the shoot then change there?"

"Yea, I usually wear pajamas or something basic. I do everything there."

"Then wear my clothes."

"Your clothes? They'd swallow me whole."

"Oh please, you're tall. I'm sure that evens out a bit."
"Okay, then what about a toothbrush? Deodorant?"

"Do you not want to smell like me? And I maybe possibly perhaps got you a toothbrush."

"Huh?" Hyunjin sits up slightly.

"Yea, I bought you a toothbrush for if you decided to come over."

"You're serious?"

"Yea. Really though, I don't care how long I'll get to have you tonight, I just want you here."

"Then I guess I have no choice, do I?" Hyunjin smiles as he stands up and holds out his hand.
"Let's go to bed and cuddle."

Changbin takes it and looks up at him with a beaming smile. "I love cuddles."
 End Of An Era
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yea. I feel like this is the last thing I need to do."

"Then we can be friends?"

Hyunjin and Changbin look over to a smiling Jisung though it drops after he notices the lack
of enthusiasm.

"Sorry."

Hyunjin grins and Changbin pats Jisung's shoulder. "I'm taking Han for coffee, text me when
you're ready to go and we'll come back." Changbin gives Hyunjin a gentle kiss on the
forehead. "You'll do great."

"Aw, you guys are cute."

They look over yet again, Jisung awkwardly grinning.

"Let's go hyung."

Changbin takes Hyunjin's hand to kiss it. "See ya soon."

"Bye bye."

Changbin takes Jisung by the arm and leads him away, Hyunjin watches them until they're
out of sight.

"Here goes nothing." He mumbles to himself before knocking. Footsteps approach and
slowly become louder until the doorknob clicks.
"Hey Hyunjin."

"Hey Minho."

"Want to come in?"

"Sure."

Minho opens the door wide to allow him in, Hyunjin passively looking around to the familiar
apartment.

"Han made it seem like this was a formal meeting or something, insisting to let you come in
alone. Dramatic."

"I've noticed he seems to be a little bit."

"Not just a little."

Hyunjin politely smiles as he takes a seat. "So… um… how are you?"

"I'm doing well. How have you been?"

"Fine."

They sit in silence for a moment, taking in the awkward atmosphere.

"I'm sorry."
Hyunjin directs his attention back. "For what?"

"You know exactly what. I got with Jisung somehow."

Hyunjin nods and sighs. "You did."

"I shouldn't have done it. I should've broken it off with you first."

"So you'd been wanting to break up with me?"

"Well, let me rephrase. I've never taken myself to be a cheater. I hate cheaters."

"Yet you became one."

"I know and I'm so sorry."

"What makes him better than me?"

"You're fantastic."

"Not fantastic enough for you, apparently."

He sighs. "Jisung is electric. Something about him pulls me in. I couldn't stay away."

"And you didn't have that with me?"

"Not that strongly. No one compares to him."

Hyunjin's chest tenses and he restricts a groan. "How long were you cheating on me for?"

"It wasn't long, I promise."

"What qualifies as wasn't long to you?"

"A couple weeks."

"A couple weeks is too long. You know, emotional cheating counts too."

"Honestly, the first day we met and hooked up I knew I wanted him."

"Then you should've left me then."

Minho sits in the chair in silence, simply staring into Hyunjin.

"I hope you stay happy together. Don't hurt him like you did me."

"I won't."

"You sound sure."

"I know it sounds insane but I feel such a strong connection to him, like we're soulmates. I
don't know what it is."
"Then don't hurt him or take him for granted. If you change your mind, tell him as soon as it
happens."

"Of course. Hyunjin… I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry I've done this to you."

"If you knew you were going to be sorry you wouldn't have done it, especially for as long as
you did… And did you seriously think I wasn't going to find out at some point?" A fire
ignites in his train of thought and the rage swiftly builds in Hyunjin's voice. "You left the
front door unlocked, you obviously weren't trying to hide it that well. It hurt the most that
you thought so little of me that you couldn't bother to tell me you were wasting my time by
staying with you."

"I wanted it to work with you, Jin -"

"No, you didn't. That's a lie. If you did, you wouldn't have slept with someone else, definitely
not for weeks. You'd come up with some bullshit excuse about how you were drunk or had a
moment of weakness or something, you did none of that. Did you even feel bad?"

He huffs. "Of course I did, I felt guilty. And you're right, I shouldn't have betrayed you like
that."

"Do you realize what this shit does to people's self-esteem? You tore me down, I still have to
tell myself that I'm good enough to be with someone, that they won't think I'm second best. It
fucking sucks. You knew how much the other times hurt me and you still joined the list of
people who had the audacity to lie to my face."

"I know, I fucked up. I know you don't believe me, but you're a great guy and I really did love
you. I never planned to hurt you like this."

"When I talked to Jisung he said you were boyfriend of the year, better than you ever were to
me. He obviously likes you. Do better and don't fuck this up too. Show some respect and
decency to the partner you chose to have."
Minho half nods and drops his head for a few moments of silence. "Of course, I'm going to
say again that I'm sorry… if you don't believe me I understand… honestly, I was surprised
when Hannie said he and his friend were going out so we could chat."

Hyunjin takes a moment as well to cool himself down after Minho's change in demeanor. "I
don't want to be friends with you again, at least anytime soon, I just don't want to hate you
anymore. I wanted some answers… I was so blind-sided."

"My love for him hit me like a train."

"When were you going to break up with me then?"

"When I realized I couldn't be without him I was thinking about how to. I fell too hard too
fast."

Hyunjin subconsciously grins at the callback to his and Changbin's conversation that lead to
their boyfriend status.

"What you smiling about?"

He subtly shakes his head to snap out of his brief daze. "Huh?"

"You just smiled… this isn't a very smile-worthy topic."

"It reminded me of something."

"What kind of something… are you seeing anyone?"

"I am."

"Did it remind you of them?"

"A little bit, yes."

"Do you mind me asking who it is? Do I know him?"

"Changbin."

His eyes fly open. "Changbin? The guy who picked up Han?"

"Yea."

"I know he's his friend, but how did you guys meet?"

"We're working on a song together."

"Oh cool. I know how much you wanted to branch out. I'm glad you got this chance, and I'm
even more glad you found someone special."

"Stop being so sappy, I may be here to forgive you but that doesn't mean I'm not still salty."

"Forgive me? Really? You were going to?"

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Jisung, I'm forgiving but not forgetting. I want to
clear out my head and negative emotions to allow myself to move on."

"Well I'm really glad, Jin. Thanks for coming to talk."

"I'm surprised you agreed. You had to know I'd get upset with you."

"We may not have been great for each other romantically but I still really care about you as a
person. I want you to be happy and succeed."

"Well… thanks for that, I guess."

"So… um… you said you're working on a soundtrack, what's the song about?"

Hyunjin smirks and looks down at his intertwined hands. "Well, ya see…"

"I'm glad it went well."

They're in their default position, Hyunjin lying on Changbin's lap while he gently strokes his
hair.

"Gonna have a date night with Minsung soon?" Changbin teases.

"No." Hyunjin says blandly, Changbin's eyebrows raise.

"Sorry baby."

Hyunjin quickly loses his blank expression and looks up at him with pleasant eyes. "I just
want to enjoy right now with you. One day at a time."

"We can do that."

"So the holidays are coming up…"

"They are indeed."

"I have a proposition for you. Would you be at all interested in meeting my mom?"

"Really?"

"Yea. She really wants to meet you and I think she would like you."

"Am I worthy?"

"Worthy?"

"From what you've said she's a strong, sassy, independent woman. She raised you, a god
among men, she has to be amazing. Not to mention she's beautiful in all of the pictures
you've shown me."

"That's dramatic."

"You know what I mean. Really though, meeting the parents is a big deal."

"Do you not want me to meet yours?"

"I would only not want you to meet mine because they're exactly how you think a rich
middle-aged couple would be. They're not the most hospitable and kinda judgey."
"Are they important to you?"

"Well… yea."

"Then they're important to me."

"Well, in that case, take this as a formal invitation to the next family dinner."

Hyunjin holds his open hand up. "Deal."

Changbin lifts his to interlace their fingers. "Deal."

"And sent. We're officially done." Changbin lifts his palm to be met with a high-five from
Hyunjin, who's sitting next to him in Chan's chair. "Great job."

"You too. It sounds great."

"It really does. We make a great team."

"I'll miss working on a song with you. You have such strong visions and passions for your
work."

"Speaking of… I have an idea."

"What kind of idea?"

"You remember that song I showed you on the beach?"

"Yea?"

"Chan's going to be the main feature, but I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing a
cameo as well?"

"What kind of cameo?"

"Some backing vocals. Someone else may not notice it at first, but I would feel some kind of
comfort hearing your sweet voice in my song."

"No offense, but that song is insanely depressing. Why do you want me on it?"

"Please don't break up with me."

Hyunjin's eyebrows scrunch. "For what?"

"You can't judge me. I'm gonna get sappy."

"Okay," he loosens up a bit, "hit me."

"You're my streetlight."
"… Elaborate?"

"Well, ya see…" he turns to face the monitor and huffs, "between you and Chan, I frankly
owe my life to you guys. Chan has been by my side for the last several years and is the single
best support system I've ever had. We've built our success together and I owe him so much.
You, on the other hand, may not have been around as long, but you've shown me happiness
and peace. Lately I've been feeling like myself again and I feel like I have you to thank for
that."

"And yet I'm just a backing vocal?"

Changbin looks back over in mild distress to an unamused Hyunjin with raised eyebrows.
"Baby, you know you mean so -"

"I'm kidding." He drops the façade swiftly and Changbin rolls his eyes.

"You need to stop doing that, it stresses me out."

"Sorry Binnie." He places a gentle hand on Changbin's thigh. "I think it's nice. What part
would you like me on?"

He nervously pulls up the demo, jumps to about three-quarters to the end, and plays the
repetitive ending chorus. "I'm thinking you could come in here. Chan starts, then I do my
part, then you can come in the background at the next one with me. It's… ya know… kind of
representing how when I wrote this I felt alone, like how Chan was there trying to talk sense
into me but I was stuck in my own world… then you appeared into my life to show me that
that wasn't the case. You made me realize I didn't need to be miserable or ignore the efforts of
those who care about me. Your voice would echo through my head, all those self-help lines in
our conversations, and I finally started to feel like I could finally get out of my thoughts and
sort my life out. Chan comes in after this again as well, all three of us singing together at the
end to symbolize how you two, together, came in to save me from myself."

"I'm surprised how deep you're making this if I'm being honest."
"This song is the end of an era, my sad bitch era," he takes a sentimental Hyunjin's hand,
"and I figured a good way to show that would be to have the two people who got me through
the hard days come out at the end and show me they're always there to stand under the
streetlight with me… or, I guess in your case, be the streetlight."

"You're right, that was really sappy."

"Because I love you and want to show you how much you being next to me has meant to
me."

"What was that?"

Changbin realizes what he casually let slip out, purses his lips for a moment and shifts his
eyes. "Well… uh… ya see…"

"That time was different… Changbin hyung…" he solemnly speaks, slowly removes his hand
from under Changbin's, and sighs.

Changbin's heart drops.

"I uh… well…"

He feels his heart beating fast, his face is getting hot.

I messed it up again.

"I think… I may just…" Hyunjin looks over at Changbin with remorseful eyes, "... love you
too."

"Ah!" Changbin groans, throws his head back and Hyunjin brightly giggles. "I just told you
to stop doing that!"

"I'm sorry, I promise I'm done now." Hyunjin takes Changbin's hand in both of his and looks
deeply into his eyes. "I'm sorry."
 Changbin's overly pouty face is complete with eyes to the side and Hyunjin tilts his own head
with a small smile. Changbin gives in, looks toward him, and loudly huffs. "It's a good thing
you're cute."

Hyunjin gives him a passionate kiss before sliding the chair even closer to him to lean his
head on his shoulder. "I love you too, Binnie."

Chapter End Notes

For those who don't know, Changbin mentioned in a 3RACHA live how Hyunjin is
actually a backing vocal in "Streetlight"! I couldn't find his name on the credits
anywhere so I don't think I would've noticed otherwise. His parts start around 2:25, and
since I've learned that piece of information I can't unhear it and it makes me so happy.
They sound fantastic together. I love the three of them so much.
 The View
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

"I'm so nervous."

"Don't be, it's fantastic."

"But what if people don't like it?"

"Didn't you say it was a song you wrote for you and the catharsis was the goal?"

"... Yea… but still, external validation is nice, too." Changbin's voice is meek as Hyunjin pats
his shoulder and takes a moment to kiss it before focusing back on the screen.

"Okay… aaaand…"

He hovers his index finger over the mouse, closes eyes, sighs heavily, and -

Click.

"Ah! What was that for?!" Changbin panics, looks at his fingertip that now has the key
pressed down thanks to Hyunjin's hand. "Ya!"

"You were taking too long, but mainly I didn't want you to talk yourself out of it."

"Gah." He huffs and brings his hand back to his lap, though it's briefly brought up by
Hyunjin's to be kissed. "Stop being cute, I'm mad at you."

Hyunjin grins. "Are you?"

Changbin looks over and, upon seeing his sweet expression, leans in to give him a quick
peck. "No."

"Do you want to wait and see the response or come back later?"

"Come back later. I'd be too worried and stressed staring at the screen waiting."

"Also, they sent us the draft of the movie trailer the other day, didn't they?"

"Yea, we can watch it real quick."

"Pull it up."

Changbin quickly finds the link and they watch the short clip.

"It feels surreal to hear my voice in a movie trailer."

"What's weirder, hearing your voice in the trailer or watching the music video back?"

"... Okay maybe that one."

"People loved it, ya know? You shouldn't have been so nervous. There are so many sweet
comments on it."

"I know, it still feels surreal. I have a whole music video."

"You do, you sounded and looked great."

"Thanks."
They exchange soft smiles when Chan knocks and opens the door. "Hey Bin! I saw you just
uploaded the song."

"I did."

"It's already gotten a lot of views."

"Huh?"

"Yea, from where we've both been talking about it people were apparently waiting for the
premiere."

"You're lying."

"No, it already has a few thousand views."

"Huh?!" Changbin hurriedly pulls up the video again and takes a look at the stats. "How do I
already have a hundred comments in, like, 2 minutes?!"

"I guess when people's favorite producer makes their own track it naturally gets their
attention."

"Not to mention you're in it too, Chan." Hyunjin interjects.

"Yea, I guess that is true. You're in it too though, Jin."

"But I'm an easter egg, a little secret." Hyunjin puts his index finger up to his lips and looks
at Changbin, who has a natural grin spread across his face.

"You guys are cute and all, but weren't you looking at the response?"

"Ah!" He immediately jumps back onto the computer, still-smiling Hyunjin's arm wrapped
around him and leaning into the crook of his neck. Chan walks up behind them to creep over
them and Changbin starts scrolling through the comments.

"There's a lot of people saying that they relate to it, you put their emotions into words, that
it's beautifully made…" Hyunjin sits up and looks over to Changbin, who has stopped
scrolling and is blankly staring into the screen with a pink hue to his cheeks. "Binnie?"

Changbin's chest starts more dramatically rising and falling, his lips are now pressed together
and his eyes are glossing over.

"Changbin?" Hyunjin rotates Changbin's chair toward him just to be met with a giant,
desperate hug from his abruptly sobbing boyfriend. "It's okay."

"Changbinnie, it's okay." Chan leans down in the middle of the two boys and wraps them into
a hug. "You did amazing. People are relating to your lyrics. You're gonna help people with
this."

Changbin is still crying, grasping into and soaking Hyunjin's shirt. "I'm so proud of you, Bin
hyung, I really am. I couldn't be more proud."

Changbin takes a moment to collect himself before sitting upright to look between the two.
"Thank you guys for everything, for believing in me, for never giving up on me. I love you
both so much."

"We love you too." Chan tearfully smiles and pulls the boys back into the group hug.
"A week away from life is gonna be sweet, isn't it?"

"Absolutely. I'm so ready."

Hyunjin and Changbin walk over to the back glass doors and stare out to the ocean view from
the rental house's living room.

"I'm so glad I get to do this with you." Changbin wraps his arms around Hyunjin's waist and
stands on his tiptoes to place his head on his shoulder.

"I am too. I'd say we deserve it after all the work we've done these last few months."

"We do. Ya know what'd be nice? What I've always wanted to do? A walk along the beach at
sunset."

"I'd love that."

"I do need to text your mom that we made it safe."

"Why didn't she just tell me to text her?"

"She loves me more."

Hyunjin playfully smacks his shoulder, Changbin clutching it. "Ow!"

"Whatever. Look at you, you could end me whenever you want."

"Wait… I have an idea."

"What kind of idea?"

"Let's go outside for a second."

"For what?"

"I don't want a glare."

"Glare?"

Changbin grins, takes Hyunjin's hand and leads him out onto the patio. He turns them around
so the ocean is behind them and Hyunjin is still confused, at least until Changbin pulls out his
phone. "Smile." Changbin cheeses to the selfie-mode screen, Hyunjin quickly catching on
and smiling in various poses after each capture. "Now…" Changbin places a long kiss on
Hyunjin's cheek, Hyunjin blushing and beaming into the camera as it clicks. "Great." He pulls
up the gallery and checks the pictures. "You're literal perfection."

"Uhhh no, you need to look at yourself."

"Oh, please… oh, I like this one." He finds the photo of him kissing Hyunjin's cheek.

"I do too."

"Is it your favorite?"

"Hmm… yea, I think so."

"Would you maybe, possibly… perhaps be okay with me posting it?"

Shock washes over Hyunjin's face and he stares into Changbin's calm eyes. "Huh?"

"I think I'm ready to tell the world about us, Jin. I want to show you off, show everyone
you're mine. I mean, of course, only if you're ready."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I love you and want to tell people about us. We've been together for a bit now."

"Yea… I guess it has been a good minute…"

"If you don't want to, that's totally fine, I can -"

"Post it."

"Hm?"

"I'll let you post it as long as you tag me."

"So millions of people can flock to mine? That's terrifying."

"You say that like we didn't just promote a whole song together."

"... Okay, yea." He pulls up his account and tries to think of a caption. "Hmmm…"

"Any ideas Mr. Deep and Spiritual?"

"Mr. Rich Kid and now this?"

"Mhm."

"Hmmm… oh, I know." Changbin types.

"English?... 'I like the view right now'?"

"It's true. Annnd… posted."

"Now that you've gone all boyfriend mode, want to grab something to eat and relax?"

"Are we not relaxing the whole time we're here?"

"Well… uh.." Hyunjin turns to face Changbin, tilts his head to the side, and gently places his
fingers on his chest, trailing them down the line of buttons on his shirt. "I was thinking that…
ya know… since we're in a beautiful place, we're on vacation, you look really good in these
shorts…"

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Mhm. I think I'm ready."

"We don't have to rush, if you want to wait longer I completely underst-"

"Do you not want it?"

"Believe me when I say I do."

"Then make me yours."

Changbin's face is hot, his chest is already intensely pulsating and he places his hand on
Hyunjin's waist. "You're sure?"

"Hundred percent. I love you, I want to make more amazing memories with you to override
the bad ones."

"Well… if you insist…" Changbin smirks and leans forward to kiss Hyunjin on the neck just
to be stopped by a push to the forehead.

"Uh-uh, I'm washing up first then we're eating."

"Ah?!"

Hyunjin mischievously half smiles, walks inside and into the bathroom then shuts the door,
leaving Changbin frustrated.

"Rude!"

"Love you too."

He sighs in disbelief then goes to a nearby patio chair to sit, pulling out his phone to
mindlessly scroll while he waits.

After several minutes, he gets a notification that surprises him.

Felix Yang (Lee) commented on your photo: "You guys are so cute together! <3 Hope you're
doing well!"

Changbin's baffled by his ex-boyfriend's sudden kind comment but nonetheless takes a
moment to think of a response.

"Why's your face like that?"

Changbin looks back in surprise at a glowing Hyunjin, straight out of the shower with a towel
around his waist and his wet hair stuck along his forehead. "How'd I get so lucky?"

"Hm?"

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

"Not getting out of it."

"You'll never guess who commented on our picture."

"Who?" He walks over and leans over Changbin's shoulder to read. "Felix? Isn't that your
ex's name?"

"Yea." He hands Hyunjin his phone, who scrolls up to the beginning of the comments and
reads them all out of curiosity. "Hm." Once he's done, he shuts off the screen and slides it into
Changbin's Hawaiian shirt's front pocket, one finger lingering right at the lower seam before
he pulls it out. "You're mine, ya know?"
"Absolutely, no one compares to you. You're the best I'll ever have."

"Good… now…" Hyunjin drapes his arm around Changbin's shoulder and leans into his ear
to whisper, "are you ready to eat?"

Changbin's tense, his eyes naturally shut at the sensation and he licks his lips. "You or food?"
He mutters.

Hyunjin softly tugs on his earlobe with his lips before kissing it, Changbin groaning on
contact. Hyunjin breathes onto the barely wet skin and Changbin's already on the verge of a
crisis.

"Food." Hyunjin whispers before standing upright and taking Changbin's hand to pull him
up. "I'm hungry," he says dryly, "let's go."

Changbin's mouth is agape as Hyunjin lets go, heads into the nearby bedroom, quickly throws
on some clothes and slides his sandals on. "But… but Hyunjinnie baby -"

"Nope, food first. You love food."

"But I love you more."

Hyunjin side eyes him. "Yea, okay. Come on, love."

Changbin takes Hyunjin's hand again to pull him back and into his chest, effectively leaving
him speechless. In Hyunjin's moment of shock, Changbin passionately kisses him. "Sorry,
you're just so beautiful. Also, I need to remind you that I can put you in your place anytime I
want to."

"Huh, Seo? What you trying to say?"

 "I love you, now let's go feed you."

"'Bout time." Hyunjin tugs him toward the door, Changbin no longer resisting. As he opens it,
he suddenly halts and pulls Changbin by the collar to kiss him back. "Also… I love you too.
We'll need to be full for that romantic sunset walk on the beach."

"And… something else…?"

"Come on."

"Of course, baby." He gives Hyunjin one more peck on the cheek before taking the lead out
the door. "Let's go eat."

Chapter End Notes

I wanted to end this ride on a soft, epilogue-y chapter. I'm so glad that, 8 months after I
wrote the first couple chapters, it's finally done and is a story I'm quite proud of. Thank
you SO much for reading and I hope you enjoyed.
For those who are interested, I *think* I know what fic I'll start posting next. It's another
WIP I started just before this one that also has several chapters completed atm (10 to be
exact) but I'm not sure when I'll be confident enough to start posting it. For all I know
I'll gain the courage and start next week. If not, I'll aim for soon. However, I have
thought of some (what I think are) fun ideas that I'm quite excited to start working on, I
just wanted to finish this fic first… guess we'll see which wins when I'm back.
Again, thank you so much for sticking around and I hope to see you back on my corner
of AO3!
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!