Sharing the pleasures and pains of

family life
Graeme Russell

ABSTRACT

This article addresses a priority issue identified by the National Council for the International Year of the Family: 'the
need to promote gender issues and explore ways in which men and women can share more equally in the various
responsibilities and pleasures of family life'. There are still significant gaps between women and men in terms of their
involvement in family life, the tasks they perform and the responsibilities they take. Yet, both women and men
express a desire for greater equality in family life. It is evident that in terms of attitudes and beliefs, the problem
cannot simply be conceptualised in terms of women wanting men to share more equally and men being reluctant to
do so. The challenge now is to develop policies and practices based on a presumption of shared responsibility
between men and women, and a presumption that there are potential benefits for men as well as women, and for
families and the community if there is greater gender equality in the responsibilities and pleasures of family life.
These are the issues that are explored in this paper. (Introduction, edited)

The International Year of the Family provides the opportunity to focus on the development
of solutions to problems that have the potential to make significant improvements in family
wellbeing. This is especially the case for the key priority issue of concern in this paper: 'To
promote gender equality issues and explore ways in which men and women can share
more equally in the various responsibilities and pleasures of family life.' This is widely
recognised as a problem by researchers, policy makers, community workers and more
importantly, by family members themselves.
There are still significant gaps between women and men in terms of their involvement in
family life, the tasks they perform and the responsibilities they take. Yet, both women and
men express a desire for greater equality in family life. It is evident that in terms of attitudes
and beliefs, the problem cannot simply be conceptualised in terms of women wanting men
to share more equally and men being reluctant to do so. The challenge now is to develop
policies and practices based on a presumption of shared responsibility between men and
women, and a presumption that there are potential benefits for men and well as women,
and for families and the community if there is greater gender equality in the responsibilities
and pleasures of family life. These are the issues that are explored in this paper.

The Need for Change

Despite the significant increase in the number of women with dependent children who are in
the paid workforce, Australian research studies over the last 15 years are consistent in
showing that divisions of labour for family work are very rigid indeed (Bittman 1991; Demo
and Acock 1993; Mederer 1993; Russell 1983; Russell and Russell 1987; Wearing 1984;
Weeks 1991).
In terms of time, women perform approximately 90 per cent of child care tasks and 70 per
cent of all family work. Only 14 per cent of fathers are highly participant in terms of time
spent on family work (Russell 1983). Demo and Acock (1993) in a recent US study also
found that women continue to perform a constant and major proportion of household labour
(68 per cent to 95 per cent) across all family types (first marriage, divorced, stepfamily or
never married), regardless of whether they are employed or nonemployed in paid work.
Divisions of labour for family work are particularly problematic in dual worker families.
Employed mothers adjust their jobs and personal lives to accommodate family
commitments more than employed fathers do. Mothers are less likely to work overtime and
are more likely to take time off work to attend to children's needs (VandenHeuvel 1993).
Mothers spend less time on personal leisure activities than their partners, a factor that often
leads to resentment (Demo and Acock 1993; Glezer 1991b; Russell 1983). The parental
role is central to the stress and conflict reported by employed mothers, and a major
contributor to such stress is their taking greater overall responsibility for children (Gilbert
and Hansen 1983; Scott and Alwin 1989; Wolcott 1986). In one study of dual worker
families, 82 per cent reported that mothers had the overall responsibility for children,
whereas only 18 per cent reported that responsibilities were shared by mothers and fathers
(Russell 1983). The picture is different though when child care is considered. Edgar and
Glezer (1992) report that in the AIFS Family Formation Study, Glezer (1991a) found that
close to 90 per cent of both husbands and wives agreed that the man should share equally
in child care, and 55 per cent of husbands and wives claimed that the men actually did this.
Family therapists are increasingly defining family problems in terms of a lack of involvement
and support from fathers, and are concerned with difficulties involved in having fathers take
responsibility for the solution of family and child behaviour problems (Heubeck, Watson and
Russell 1986). Yet, a father accepting responsibility for behaviour problems is linked with
positive outcomes (Watson and Russell 1991).
The need for a change in divisions of responsibilities for family work has also been raised
by those concerned about the relationship between incest and domestic violence, and a
lack of responsibility taken by men for family work and nurturance. The need to focus on
shared responsibility rather than 'helping out' has been emphasised in this debate (Schecter
1983; Scutt 1983).

The Benefits of Change

Research studies lend strong support to the argument that there are benefits for families
considering a change to a fairer or more equitable division of the pleasures and pains of
family life.Greater equality in the performance of family work is associated with lower levels
of family stress, and higher self-esteem, better health, and higher marital satisfaction for
mothers. There is also higher marital satisfaction for fathers, especially when they take
more responsibility for the needs of their children - fathers are happier when they are more
involved (Bernard 1972; Grbich 1987; Patterson 1982; Russell 1983; Russell and Russell
1984).
Family stress and children's behaviour problems (for example, stealing, physical
aggression) are related to poor marital relationships and rigid divisions of labour. Consider
the following conclusions from the comprehensive United States study by Patterson (1982)
comparing 'normal' families with those in which there was a child defined as being a social
aggressor or thief.
'It is probably the case that even the most committed father actually handles only a small
fraction of the daily round of child management problems. For example, the Fagot (1974)
study of normal, middle-class toddlers showed that roughly 70 per cent of child care was
carried out by mothers and only 30 per cent by fathers. It is my impression that in distressed
families the fathers are even less involved than this.' (p. 285)
'The feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, confusion, and isolation that characterise
caretakers in distressed families are not part of the self-perception of fathers. I think this is
partially related to the fact that they do not see family management as being a significant
feature of their responsibility.' (p. 289)
Children lower in competence (for example, reading, self- concept) but from families with
high resources, as defined by income, parental education and housing, had fathers over-
committed to their paid jobs and not very involved in family life (Ochiltree and Amato 1984).
And dissatisfaction with family life is greater - especially for fathers themselves - when
fathers have a very high commitment to their paid work or career (Russell, Savage and
Durkin, 1992).

Do parents express a desire to change?

A mother's wanting her partner to do more housework and child care is a better predictor of
poor family adjustment than is actual time spent by fathers in these tasks (Demo and Acock
1993; Pleck 1981; Russell 1989). The percentage of women (ranging from 60 per cent to 80
per cent in various studies) indicating they would like their partners to do more has
increased consistently over the last 20 years (Pleck 1981; Thompson and Walker 1989;
Wearing 1984).
Comparing responses from the 1981 and 1991 waves of the AIFS Family Formation Study,
Glezer (1991a) found an interesting increase in agreement between men and women in
value terms about equal parental responsibilities for such diverse areas as contributing to
household income, staying home with sick children, and sharing equally in child care.
In a study which asked parents to indicate who currently performed family tasks and
responsibilities, and how they would like it to be, Russell (1984) found that both women and
men expressed a desire for a greater sharing of family work, and that the greater the
difference between how things were at the time of interview and how people would like
them to be, the higher were anxiety and depression for both mothers and fathers.

Balancing Work and Family

In a significant recent shift in thinking, there is a growing concern with the problems both
women and men experience in balancing work and family, and with the impact these
problems have on employee commitment and satisfaction. The need for employers to take
more account of the family responsibilities of employees has been acknowledged as a key
issue in maintaining and increasing productivity at work by many employers (Adie and
Carmody 1991; Friedman 1991; Wolcott 1991; Wolcott 1992).
The following findings from a recent study of 599 employed parents with dependent children
help illustrate the magnitude of these problems (Russell, Savage and Durkin 1992).

Daily impact of work and family demands

 Twenty-five per cent of workers reported that family demands regularly affected their
productivity through absenteeism, lateness and their ability to perform the job.
 The impact of family responsibilities on work performance was greater for women than
for men, and greater among parents of pre-school children.
 Thirty-eight per cent reported frequent difficulties in arranging child care.
 Women in part-time work reported more difficulty in arranging child care than men or
women in full-time work.
It is therefore likely that workplace policies and practices which make it easier for parents to
combine their work and family responsibilities will result in higher productivity.

Satisfaction with life and work

 Only 56 per cent of women and 46 per cent of men were highly satisfied with the time
their jobs left for family life. Time left for family life was also a strong predictor of job
satisfaction for both men and women.
 For men, the best predictor of satisfaction with life generally was the satisfaction they
experienced in their relationships with their children, followed by their ratings of
satisfaction with their job.

Conflicts between work and family

 Forty per cent of working women and 20 per cent of working men with children felt they
had compromised their job/career for their family.
 Men with working partners were twice as likely as men whose wives did not work to say
that they had compromised their family life.
 Seventy-four per cent of workers with children would consider refusing a job, promotion
or transfer if it meant spending less time with the family. Ten per cent of men and 17 per
cent of women had already done this.

Attitudes
The study showed that ILO Convention 156, which aims to ensure that workers with family
responsibilities can work without discrimination and without conflict between their
employment and their family responsibilities, was supported by the values and beliefs of
working parents, especially mothers.
There was strong support for specific policies like special family leave for mothers and
fathers, and for unpaid maternity leave, as well as for equity issues such as men's right to
paternity leave and the rights of men and women each to have opportunities to work or care
for the family.
While there was considerable support for mothers remaining in the workforce, there was
less confidence that men would share more responsibility for household tasks if they had
paternity leave. The concept of women as breadwinners was not well supported by men.
The strongest support came from those women who were best able to function as
breadwinners - that is, female managers. Work for women tended to be seen as an 'optional
extra' rather than as an obligation. While there was a strong, across- the-board belief in
women's right to work, there was little recognition that institutional supports were required if
this demand was to be a reasonable one. Support for day care centres provided by
employers ranged from 14 per cent to 50 per cent.
Dimensions of Family Responsibilities
Who performs a task - who actually does the work or spends the time on it - is the usual
way that we think about family work. This is also the approach traditionally taken in research
studies. However, more recent research (Demo and Acock 1993; Glezer 1991b; Russell,
James and Watson 1988; Russell 1989) has considered a broader range of issues to be
addressed when considering equity in family life. The following are four of the most
important.

Responsibilities as well as tasks

There is more to family work than performing tasks - a whole range of responsibilities is
involved. There are decisions to be made and standards to be set (for example, setting
standards for child behaviour). Monitoring processes occur (for example, monitoring the
child's moods and needs for support, monitoring the child's standards in school work).
Parents have to initiate change and discuss family problems. They have to plan and
anticipate (for example, thinking ahead to avoid problems). Solutions to problems have to
be found.

'Helping out' versus taking responsibility

It is usual in families to think of some tasks as being someone else's domain or territory:
'That task is more their responsibility than my own, and therefore, when I do this task, I am
helping out.' In many families problems frequently arise because of a perceived lack of
shared responsibility for an aspect of family work. Russell (1989) has found, for example,
that parental anxiety and hostility are higher when there is a lack of equality in decision-
making about financial matters and a lack of shared responsibility for initiating discussions
about problems of child control and discipline. In contrast, wellbeing is not strongly related
to a lack of equality in the day-to-day management of family finances, nor to who actually
disciplines the child.

Attitudes, beliefs and commitment to parenting

People's attitudes to and beliefs about parenting, and appropriate divisions of
responsibilities in this regard, are associated with patterns of family interaction. Here, issues
central to difficulties experienced by couples include beliefs about who should have the
responsibility for various tasks, who has the right to intervene when something goes wrong,
who should take the blame if something goes wrong and be rewarded when things go right,
and who should have control over particular areas, such as decisions about discipline or
sporting activities (Russell 1989).
Feelings of commitment to parenting have also been found to predict equality in divisions of
labour. Indicators of commitment include strong feelings towards children and their welfare,
the relative time and psychological investment in paid work versus family life, and the extent
to which a person adjusts his/her life and routines to take account offamily needs (for
example, taking time off work when a child is sick). For a more detailed examination of the
conflict between going to work and having to care for sick children, see VandenHeuvel
(1993).
Work involved in running a family
There is a range of tasks and responsibilities involved in running a family. Financial support
and management means paying the bills and organising the day-to-day family financial
matters. Household work includes fixing things around the house, car maintenance and
mowing the lawn, shopping and preparing meals, cleaning, washing, ironing, and organising
the household and planning family outings.
Child care and supervision involves time at home caring for and being available to children
at various times on weekdays and weekends. Child management and socialisation includes
looking after child needs (for example, bathing, dressing), child health (for example, taking
child to doctor), emotional needs (for example, comforting child when upset), praise and
discipline, school needs (for example, supervising homework, attending school functions),
general cognitive development (for example, answering a child's 'why?' questions), and
looking after sport and other activities (for example, taking child to lessons).
In all of this, there is the importance of maintaining relationships between the caregivers
themselves. This involves good communication, cooperation and teamwork, and resolving
conflicts in a constructive way.

What Factors Promote Change?

Given the diverse definitions of equality and of possible antecedents, it is difficult to provide
a clear account of the processes of change towards a more equal sharing of family life. And
in the current context of social, economic, relationship and individual change, there are
many paths to equality. However, research into the antecedents of the involvement of
fathers in caregiving provides some insights.

Pregnancy and pre-birth factors

Longitudinal studies conducted in the United States (Berman and Pedersen 1987) report
that the following factors, assessed during pregnancy, predict father involvement (usually
assessed within the first two years): participation in household tasks; satisfaction with
couple's decision making; child-centred attitudes about parenting; father being employed for
fewer hours; child-oriented marital communication; and high levels of commitment to baby.
Findings are less consistent for links with personal characteristics of fathers (for example,
masculinity) and quality of marital relationships.
In a longitudinal study conducted in Australia (Aitchison 1985), psychological commitment to
the baby prior to birth was strongly related to involvement in baby care and sensitivity to the
baby. A weaker pattern was found with a pre-birth measure of expectations of involvement.
Links were not found with pre-birth measures of perceptions of the father role and marital
quality.
An obvious place to look for antecedents of paternal participation is at a father's own family
experiences. Two hypotheses have been put forward and both have received support from
studies: fathers become highly participant as a reaction to their own father's lack of
involvement: and, conversely, fathers who are highly involved had fathers who were also
highly involved (Bronstein and Cowan 1988; Cowan and Cowan 1987).
Potential for and type of employment
Several studies show that equality in the home is associated with mothers having high
status and potentially rewarding jobs (Kimball 1984; Radin 1982; Russell 1983).
Associations with fathers' employment characteristics have not been consistently reported,
except that there is a trend towards these fathers being less career orientated. Equality has
also been linked with flexibility in or reduced hours of employment and a lower commitment
to paid work by fathers. Demo and Acock (1993) found that the mother's sense of equity in
the home was lower, the more hours per week she worked for pay, the more hours she
spent on household chores and above all the fewer the number of hours the husband spent
on household chores.

Skills and knowledge

Although the research evidence is convincing in showing that fathers can be just as
competent as mothers at child care, preparation for parenthood is still directed primarily at
mothers, with fathers being given only limited opportunities to learn basic child care skills. It
is therefore possible that it is only fathers who have the necessary skills who become
involved. In support of this, high father involvement has been associated with attendance at
childbirth classes and the actual birth, reading books on child rearing, information about
child development being provided to fathers in hospital, and fathers' perceived skill at child
care tasks prior to their child's birth (Grbich 1987; McHale and Huston 1984; Russell 1983).
These factors, of course, may not be causally linked with father participation, as it might
only be the committed and competent fathers who seek out information to begin with.
Nevertheless, a consistent pattern is emerging in the research literature.

Personal characteristics
Given that there is an absence of role models for caregiving fathers, it may be that only
those men who are high on self- esteem and independence will either contemplate, adopt,
or feel comfortable about going against the tide in this way. Little research has been
conducted to investigate this hypothesis.
It might also be expected that involved fathers will be more likely to be androgynous - that
is, they will endorse the traditional masculine characteristics of, for example, independence,
self- confidence and assertiveness, as well as the traditional feminine characteristics of, for
example, interpersonal sensitivity and expressiveness. Findings do not give consistent
support to this hypothesis: some provided positive support (Kimball 1984; Russell 1983)
whereas others reported contrary evidence (McHale and Huston 1984). Grbich (1987) found
that a large majority of the primary caregiver fathers in her study came from homes where
the mother did not work in paid employment; and a majority referred to a distant relationship
with their fathers and a close relationship with their mothers as they were growing up.
Arguments about relationships between personality variables and sex-role orientation and
family lifestyles also present problems with regard to conclusions about cause and effect.
We cannot be certain about what is causing what - whether the lifestyle is a consequence of
personality factors, or whether the personality factors are a consequence of the lifestyle.
Further, it may yet be that while personality factors are not critical for a change to a lifestyle
of equality, they may be more critical for the process of adjustment, especially if men
perceive themselves to have been forced to change.

Beliefs about parenting

A common objection to proposals that fathers could share more in the responsibility for child
care and family work is that men are not competent. In a survey of families in which fathers
were in paid employment and mothers were the primary caregivers (here termed traditional
caregiving) (Russell 1983), 78 per cent of fathers and 66 per cent of mothers agreed that
there was a maternal instinct which enabled mothers to be more competent caregivers, and
51 per cent of fathers and 35 per cent of mothers thought that fathers did not have the
ability to care for children. In contrast, while nearly 50 per cent of parents in families in
which mothers and fathers shared the day-to-day caregiving (here termed non-traditional
caregiving) agreed that mothers had a head start because of biology, 88 per cent thought
that fathers could be competent caregivers.
Beliefs about the breadwinner's role and commitments to work and career have also been
found to be important contributors to a move to equality in the household. There is a cultural
expectation that fathers should be the primary breadwinners, and research studies show
that fathers commonly define their family responsibilities in terms of the breadwinner's role.
Fathers in non-traditional caregiving families are less career and work orientated, and
therefore are less likely to be constrained by cultural views about breadwinning
responsibilities (Grbich 1987; Russell 1983).

Couple support
A final antecedent of high paternal participation is the degree of support given by parents to
each other. Mothers have been found to be more influential in the decision to shift divisions
of labour in the home (Glezer, 1991a). In studies of both dual-earner and single-earner
families, the mother's attitude to the male role has been found to be critical, and fathers are
more involved when mothers have more egalitarian attitudes towards parenting.
Additionally, father involvement is correlated with their spouse's ratings of his competence
in child care (Cowan and Cowan 1987; McHale and Huston 1987).

Working Towards Equality in the Home

There are difficulties involved in working towards equality in the home. A common
stereotype of current problems experienced in male/female relationships is this: all women
want to change to greater equality in the home, all men do not want to change and resist
and feel threatened. Research studies, however, provide a more complex picture. It is
common for both women and men to have difficulty in adjusting to change, even if they both
agree in principle that they want to change. Findings from these studies (Kimball 1984;
Radin 1982; Russell 1983) are summarised below.
Couples often experience difficulties in adjusting to equal parenting and this is reflected in
poorer marital relationships during the early period of change from traditional family
lifestyles.
Marital tension has also been found to be generated by parents being dissatisfied with the
degree of responsibility accepted by their spouse. In some families fathers were dissatisfied
because mothers were unwilling to allow them to take over more responsibilities for child
care and housework (for example, to make decisions and change routines). In others it was
mothers who felt their husbands were reluctant to take on more responsibilities. In yet
others, parents reported problems in dividing up responsibilities when they were both at
home.
Fathers especially reported difficulty in adjusting to the demands of child care and domestic
life, and can experience initial strain in their relationships with their children.
Mothers reported feeling guilty about leaving their children, and had trouble in adjusting to
the reduced contact and reduced influence over their children (with some worrying that the
children would not love them any more). They also complained of the general high level of
tension in their lives associated with carrying dual roles. Increased satisfaction from having
a paid job (mothers), or decreased status from either a reduction in commitment to a job or
not having one at all (fathers) were also found to be critical factors in parents' adjustment.
Another interesting finding is that despite the fact that mothers and fathers are both
employed, there was little indication of a fundamental shift in notions about responsibilities
for breadwinning having occurred - this was still seen as being the primary responsibility of
fathers.
Long-term follow-ups of these families revealed that for many, such tensions had become
more problematic and they had reverted to a traditional caregiving pattern with the mother
as the primary caregiver.Of those who continued in a con-traditional caregiving pattern,
satisfaction with this lifestyle was associated with reports of more equitable sharing of child
care and housework responsibilities (as opposed to performance of tasks). This last finding
was also supported by Grbich (1987).
Many of the issues noted above also surface when parenting is shared with caregivers from
outside the immediate family (Finch 1984). Problems include conflicts of values and
approaches to child rearing, and parents feeling guilty or threatened by the caregivers and
concerned that their children would develop stronger relationships with the caregiver. From
the caregiver's perspective, there were concerns about the lack of communication from
parents and a reluctance to acknowledge the responsibility that the caregivers had.

Practices and Policies

Even though there are doubts about the degree to which families are moving towards
greater gender equality, and hence greater involvement by men in family life, the demand
for information and skills to support this change has increased substantially in the past ten
years. This new emphasis has been most pronounced in parent support programs (for
example, for families in which there is a child with a disability, fathers in gaol, fathers with
disabilities), and parent (or childbirth) preparation classes (even though it is still not easy to
argue for an emphasis on fathers as equal partners).
There is a need to develop a set of working principles concerning shared responsibility for
parenting, principles that are not always easily substantiated in theories or empirical
findings. The basic premise is that the wellbeing of fathers, mothers, children, employers,
and society would be enhanced if there was a better balance between paid work and family
life for women and for men, and if more emphasis was placed on the quality of the 'people
environment'. Placing greater emphasis on fathers and improving their opportunities to be
involved in parenting is an important part of this process.
There are still quite substantial barriers to gender equality and to fathers becoming more
involved and in having the realistic option to be highly participant or share equally in the
responsibilities for family life. At one level there are the barriers presented by organisational
cultures and management attitudes, making it difficult for fathers to take the necessary
leave to become involved at critical times. At another level, there are the doubts that many
people still express about fathers having the necessary sensitivity and skills to care for
children. At this level are included the barriers presented by mothers themselves, many of
whom struggle with the ambivalence of overtly seeking paternal involvement but covertly
experiencing an 'encroachment' on their domain of perceived power and expertise
(Entwistle and Doering 1983). There are also the deep-seated fears that some have
(although they are not always expressed) that if fathers become more involved then this will
result in an increase in the physical and sexual abuse of children. Fathers who are the full-
time caregivers frequently report such reactions from the community. Yet the meagre
research in this area suggests the reverse to be the case (Parker and Parker 1986).
Barriers to the equal sharing of responsibilities are also presented by the failure of
practitioners and policy makers to emphasise genuine shared responsibility for children.
Although recent parent education material and policies place more emphasis on fathers, it is
invariably based on the assumption that the mother is the parent who has the primary
responsibility for children. Fathers are frequently assumed to be less interested and less
competent.
It is further assumed that a good father is one who is a 'good helper' or a 'sensitive support
person' to the mother, especially during critical times. Regarding this assumption, Dickie
(1987) writes that 'a problem with this perspective is that the father's need for his wife's
support is ignored' (p.119). Additionally it can be argued that this approach helps to reduce
the possibility of fathers sharing the responsibilities for parenting. It also ignores the fact that
there is a small group of fathers who are currently highly involved and sharing in all aspects
of child care, and the possibility that some fathers might want to become more involved, and
many more would if they had the realistic option to do so.
If parenting and employment options are to increase then a major shift will be needed
towards presuming that mothers and fathers have equal responsibility, from conception
onwards (and earlier too, for example, in responsibility for sexuality, reproduction and
relationships). The following outlines the main implications of such a shift for practices and
policies.

Recognise diversity among women and men

The development of strategies that respond to both actual change and demands for
change, requires a conceptual framework that takes account of the diversity of experiences
and contexts. Despite the shift in emphasis to evaluate critically stereotypes about women,
and accept that there is a range of women's needs and attitudes, these arguments are
usually not extended to men. It is not helpful to continue to base theories and policies on the
assumption that all men sexually assault children, are violent and suppress women, that no
men are interested in change, and that no men currently share in the responsibilities for
relationships or make positive contributions to the wellbeing of others. This approach serves
to increase hostility rather than harmony in interpersonal relationships, reinforce current
patterns, and encourage an emphasis on a band- aid approach to social problems.

Give more attention to fathers' feelings

There is a general need for a greater recognition that men sometimes need support and
opportunities to share their feelings and concerns. Programs and services could be
developed to expand men's options to participate more in family life and help them cope
with the difficulties of balancing work and family commitments. Parenting groups often
become women's groups. Groups conducted specifically for men have an entirely different
nature and present different problems. They provide the opportunity for men to develop
strategies and skills to facilitate the negotiation of change both in relationships within their
family and in a better balancing of work and family commitments. Our experience in
conducting fathers' groups is that when men are provided with the opportunity to share their
feelings about fatherhood with other men, they do this with considerable enthusiasm - even
though some take a little time to warm up (see also Pruett 1987).

Evaluate arguments about the nature of time spent with children

The argument that quality is more important than quantity was critical to help change ideas
about the amount of time mothers need to spend with their children. However when applied
to some fathers, this argument has the potential to support the current over- emphasis by
some men on their commitment to paid work. A common barrier to men's involvement in the
family is a compulsive concentration upon achievement in paid work and the relegating of
family activities and responsibilities and time with children to secondary concern.

Develop family enhancing employment policies

It is important that family enhancing employment policies be developed that enable both
male and female workers to achieve a satisfactory balance between work and family -
policies that include flexible work hours, job sharing, paid extended and short- term family
leave (to cover family sicknesses and other emergencies as well as attending school
functions), and work-based child care. Many private companies are developing policies and
practices to facilitate a better balance between paid work and family for women and men.
There are a number of studies that show that family enhancing policies can have a positive
impact on productivity, staff morale and commitment, recruitment and retention for both
women and men. 'Affirmative Action' policies may be required, however, to encourage men
to avail themselves of these opportunities for alternative work/family patterns. However,
female attitudes also need to be addressed. One primary caretaking father commented on
the level of 'suspicion' he encountered from mothers when he took his daughter to
playgroup: 'It took a year for them to have coffee at my house.'

Develop parent education programs

Parenting courses for both mothers and fathers could be implemented, especially at places
of employment, to give parents, particularly fathers, more opportunities to learn parenting
skills. In Sweden, for example, workers are allowed ten hours off before the birth and ten
hours after the birth to attend voluntary parent education courses. Companies in the United
States now offering such courses and support programs at the workplace as extra benefits
are finding that they are being well attended by both men and women.

Give more attention to couple relationships

Attention should be given to the difficulties couples experience in adjusting to changing
patterns of commitment, responsibilities, nurturance and involvement in day-to-day
caregiving. It is not always easy for women to adjust to a highly nurturant and sensitive
partner who has a high quality relationship with children. This has been well illustrated by
research into couples who have adopted a shared caregiving family pattern (Russell 1983;
1989). Both men and women can have difficulty in giving up their identities with traditional
patterns. Many of the men at home are keen for interviewers to know that they are not just
staying at home, that they are 'landscaping the garden' or 'renovating the house'. Women,
including the highly educated with high status jobs, often experience difficulties in sharing
power and status within the domestic domain, and are not always accepting and supportive
of fathers as caregivers. Some mothers resented the increased status given to fathers both
by the children (going to him for comfort) and by other women ('Oh, isn't he marvellous!').
Some also had difficulty in adjusting their ideas about masculinity and in accepting their
partners being more sensitive and nurturant.

Evaluate approaches to services

Specific services could be developed for men, for example, in the areas of domestic
violence and child sexual assault. There is some evidence (Parker and Parker 1986) that
fathers who are more involved in providing care for their children in the first three years of
life are less likely than those who are not, to commit sexual offences against them. This
observation is entirely congruent with an attachment perspective. From a public health and
welfare perspective, an urgent need exists to replicate and extend this research. More
generally, there is a need to establish men's and fathers' resources and information centres
and counselling services for men (for example, for men with work/family problems, for
divorced men). In terms of professional practice, fathers could be involved routinely when
family services are provided, and practices adopted to ensure that fathers are encouraged
to participate (for example, by giving more recognition to the positive contributions they
currently make). Initiatives could be taken to change institutional assumptions about men.

Undertake more research

Research is especially needed on the subject of men - their health, feelings, experiences,
hopes and expectations, in a range of social, life and relationship contexts. High priority
could be given to the study of men who become primary caregivers and relationships based
on equality so that we can understand better the antecedents, consequences and
processes of change.

Conclusions
At the heart of this analysis are two arguments.
 Under most circumstances the wellbeing of individuals, families and the community
would be enhanced if there was a greater sharing of household work and if parents were
able to achieve a satisfactory balance between their family and paid work commitments.
 Policies and practices need to be developed to ensure that men and women have equal
opportunities to participate in both paid work and family life. Implicit in this argument is
an assumption that women and men have equal rights and responsibilities in work and
family life.
An important feature of this approach is the emphasis on shared responsibility for the roles
of breadwinner and household work and child care, and on developing policies and
practices that presume shared responsibility for family life. Presumed in the same way that
equal employment opportunities are. The argument with employment is that policies and
practices should be adopted which facilitate equality of opportunities and choices. Here, the
emphasis is on equality of opportunity in family life, and on strategies that can be adopted to
facilitate the development of an equal opportunity household.
Debates and policy innovations and approaches to policies and services still appear to be
based primarily on the assumption that only mothers currently have and will continue to
have the major responsibility for children, and that such a pattern is necessary to ensure the
welfare of children. Indeed, there has been little community discussion at all of the notion of
shared responsibility for family work, nor has there been much discussion of the need for
policies aimed at increasing the choices for both parents. The real problems, ideological,
psychological and practical, involved in sharing the care and responsibilities for children
have largely been ignored. Yet, as is indicated by this review, there is an abundance of
research findings that could be used to help develop appropriate strategies and to provide a
basis for addressing these issues.
Traditionally, these problems have been seen as more of a concern for women than men.
This is especially so for the increasing numbers of women with young children who are in
the paid workforce. Research has consistently shown that these women experience a heavy
workload because of their dual roles. Conflicts in family relationships often result, too, when
stress is experienced from this double-shift in paid and unpaid work. It is common for
families to have continuing disagreements about who should do what around the house,
exactly how jobs should be done (who sets the standards), and about whether things are
fair.
What is obvious from the research is that both women and men express a concern for
greater equality and balance in their lives, and that there are many factors which have been
isolated as being associated with a shift towards equality in the home. It is not possible to
list these at this time, and indeed, this is unlikely to be possible in the future either. No
simple explanation has emerged as yet, and perhaps a simple explanation is not possible
given the diversity of families. It may be that in some families financial factors override all
others; for others financial considerations might represent necessary preconditions for
change, but the change might be mediated by sex-role self-concepts and beliefs; and for
still other families, beliefs about parental roles or sex- role ideology might provide the
necessary and sufficient conditions for change (even to the extent of being critical in the
decision to have only one or two children).
In the words of Kimball (1984), a highly regarded researcher in this field: 'My sense is that
the most crucial factor in sustaining role sharing outside of the father's loss of a job or
inability to earn as much as his wife, is his belief in fairness and that men can nurture as
well as women and that women can earn money as well as men.'