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Limitations of Evolutionary Theory in Explaining Marital Satisfaction and Stability of Couple Relationships
Limitations of Evolutionary Theory in Explaining Marital Satisfaction and Stability of Couple Relationships
RESUMEN
El interés en explicar la satisfacción marital y la estabilidad en la trayectoria de
parejas ha sido punto central en diferentes estudios (Karney, Bradbury. & Johnson,
1999; Sabatelli & Ripoll, 2004; Schoebi, Karney & Bradbury, 2012). Sin embargo,
todavía hay varias preguntas y aspectos desconocidos sobre el tema. En este
contexto, el presente artículo de reflexión pretende analizar si los principios de la Palabras clave:
teoría de la evolución son suficientes para explicar tres trayectorias maritales en Teoría de la evolución,
términos de satisfacción y la estabilidad marital. Con este objetivo, se han incluido satisfacción marital,
otras explicaciones propuestas desde la teoría psicosocial y que no son abordadas estabilidad marital,
en la teoría de la evolución para entender las trayectorias maritales. Además, fueron relación de pareja.
analizados otros factores que podrían dinamizar las relaciones de pareja y pueden
contribuir a la satisfacción y estabilidad de las mismas. Para futuras investigaciones
se sugirió analizar otras trayectorias maritales que pueden terminar o no en la
separación o el divorcio que no se incluyeron en este artículo.
*
Corresponding author: Victoria Cabrera García, Instituto de La Familia, Universidad de La Sabana, Chía-Colombia.
Campus Universitario puente del Común km.7 autopista norte de Bogotá, Chía-Colombia. Tel: +57 1 861 55 55. Email address:
victoria.cabrera@unisabana.edu.co
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marriage across time. Transformative change would In a similar manner, the frequency of sexual
be a discontinuous positive or negative change within relations decreases constantly as the relationship
an iterative process that might lead the couple to progresses; after a year of marriage, it has reduced to
function differently from the way it had behaved half of what it was during the first month. This occurs
previously. If the transformation is negative, the gradually. Men, after knowing their partners for just a
relationship might end in separation or divorce. On the week, still admit to the possibility of having sexual
other hand, if the transformation is positive, what may relations with a different partner. Women state that
emerge is a more secure and confident way of relating this is highly improbable (Buss, 2007). Considering
to each other. As a consequence, the changes in the alternative partners entails the possible occurrence of
way the couple functions also transforms the extramarital relations. This may end the relationship
relationship. and affect its stability.
Based on the questions posed above, this Fisher (2004), from his point of view, explains
paper will study the following aspects: first, how the that the initial attraction becomes stronger and more
postulates of the Evolutionary Theory explain two intense as men and women become couples and raise
trajectories of relationships set forth in this document. their children as a team. The child then, becomes a
Second, individual factors and factors related to the barrier to leaving the relationship. However, as the
interaction in couple relationships that account for a child grows, many couples will start to look for new
satisfying and lasting trajectory from the psychosocial love interests and the child will no longer be a
approach are presented in the third trajectory. Third, significant barrier. Many partners seek new romances
this work explains the way some transformative because they are following an unconscious impulse to
processes in couple relationships explain a stable have more varied offspring.
trajectory. Additionally, other theories that have also It is highly probable that the trajectory of this
studied marital relations will be presented. Finally, we relationship will end once different barriers, such as
suggested and discussed an integrative and holistic child rearing, are overcome, or when a new partner,
comprehension of the marital stability and longevity. one who provides the corresponding resources and
satisfies the needs in the relationship, is found.
The trajectory of this couples relationship
tends to be short because for its members, the
2.1. First trajectory evolutionary explanations weigh more than other
The initial satisfaction of a relationship possible factors that might be more important in other
diminishes in time, as the resources that each trajectories.
member should provide become depleted. The
relationship might end when it is perceived that others 2.2. Second trajectory
might provide those resources (alternatives) and that Even if men and women don’t provide more
there are no significant barriers to leaving the current resources than the ones they offered at the beginning
relationship. of the relationship, and the satisfaction has
Some evolutionary explanations might be diminished, the couple remains together due to the
considered in order to clarify this trajectory. Buss existence of barriers such as the presence of children,
(2007) posits that unless each member of a couple financial dependence, or the absence of other
makes his or her respective contributions in order for possible partners.
the relationship to continue, he or she runs the risk of According to Fisher (2004), human beings
being abandoned. Additionally, the partner provides a establish relationships only for as long as necessary in
model for comparison; in other words, the decision to order to raise a child in infancy, that is, for about four
conserve a partner or free oneself of him or her years. Along that same line of thought, Lavner,
depends on the result of a comparison to others. If the Bradbury and Karney (2012) explain that couples
man no longer provides social status, maturity, and display a high degree of satisfaction that can be seen
financial resources (resource acquisition in potential, in the first four years of the relationship. During that
according to Buss, 1989), the woman may time, raising the child and the impossibility of
contemplate the option of other men (alternatives) and supporting this process financially without a partner
the same can happen if the woman loses her youthful contribute to preserving the relationship. Parents
appearance and is no longer physically attractive. should feed and hold the child in order to guarantee its
survival and this is much easier with a full time partner
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to help. Some people don’t separate because they feel problems such as the selection of a partner, family
unable to raise a child without the aid of a partner. relationships, or cooperation. These psychological
In the same manner, women and men mechanisms condition, mainly, the social and cultural
become less attractive physically as they age. Women features that are revealed and transmitted in human
also suffer physical deterioration as a result of societies (Cosmides & Tooby, 1989, 1992; Buss,
pregnancy. Therefore, the possibilities of finding a 1994; Tooby & Cosmides, 2005, 2007). Satisfying
partner in terms of physical conditions are lost, mutual desires is the key to harmony between a man
considering that the findings of Meltzer, McNulty, and a woman. Those who do so experience greater
Jackson & Karney (2013) showed that a partner’s satisfaction in their relationship.
physical attractiveness played a larger role in To summarize, multiplicity of desires may,
predicting husbands’ satisfaction than predicting perhaps, be the most powerful instrument to promote
wives’ satisfaction. satisfaction in a relationship. This is possible thanks to
Buss (2007) explains that a biological the notable resources that each person provides, the
preference inherited from the animal kingdom is the benefits obtained by those who cooperate, and
tendency to choose partners with balanced bodily complex strategies for establishing beneficial alliances
proportions, this includes symmetry. It is not surprising with others.
that symmetrical men and women have more suitors Thus, some marital trajectories could be
to choose from. Another factor that produces attraction explained by the Theory of Evolution. However, how
is the waist to hip proportion. Women whose waist can one explain trajectories that are longer, more
circumference is 70% of their hip circumference tend enduring and satisfying, and yet don’t comply with the
to be more attractive and to have a greater standards of couple relationships posited by
reproductive capacity (Buss, 1989). Those who Evolutionary Theory? There must be other satisfying
deviate from those proportions have more difficulties factors that maintain these relationships. Other
finding partners, getting pregnant, and tend to have disciplinary perspectives, such as psychosocial
more abortions. approaches could be used in order to explain factors
Women are attracted to well-educated, that predict stable relationships that have not been
ambitious, rich men, with high status and position that already explained by Evolutionary Theory.
seem secure and able to solve their problems. After a
first relationship and with one or more children, a 2.3. Third Trajectory
man’s financial possibilities have decreased and this is Some couples have ups and downs in the
an obstacle to acquiring a partner. satisfaction with their relationship because of critical
Scientists sum it up in the following manner: events throughout it. However, they continue together
men look for sexual objects; women look for despite having overcome the barrier of child raising
successful objects (Buss, 2007, 1994; Fisher, Aron & and having achieved independence from the nucleus
Brown, 2006). When those conditions are reduced, the of the family. The same thing happens with women
possibilities for pairing may be affected anew, thus it who do not have an appearance with a symmetrical
may be preferable to continue in the present hip to waist ratio and who, due to the passing of time,
relationship even if there is not a high degree of do not have an attractive and youthful appearance to
satisfaction. provide to the relationship. Besides, men after
This marital trajectory could be maintained retirement may gradually have lost the social and work
longer than the first one; however, the individuals will status they had at the beginning of the relationship.
feel unsatisfied because of the barriers that exist to These couples remain together because they continue
leaving the relationship and the few possibilities there being satisfied with the relationship and they do not
are for pairing. Nonetheless, it can end when the consider alternative pairing; that is, they are stable
barriers are overcome or when possibilities emerge for couples.
finding a new partner. From a psychosocial perspective, the
Upon analysis of these two trajectories, literature indicates that the experiences of a couple
evolutionary psychology explains that the human mind can produce different marital trajectories (Bradbury,
possesses a functional and structural design, a set of Fincham & Beach, 2000; Gottman & Levenson, 1992;
psychological mechanisms that have developed Stanley, Blumberg & Markman, 1999; Yoon &
throughout the process of hominization as an Lawrence, 2013).
instrument that provides us with adaptive answers to
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These trajectories differ in their duration in independent and autonomous, they are less prone to
time; some are longer than others. Events like the react emotionally when confronted with difficulties, do
birth of the first child, moving to a different city or not allow themselves to be carried away by negative
work-related difficulties may affect the course and emotions, and are not under anxiety; there are higher
length of each of these trajectories. Thus, according to levels of satisfaction with the relationship and greater
Karney, Bradbury and Johnson (1999), marital stability.
trajectories fluctuate in time according to the degree of Another individual factor to consider that might
satisfaction that the couple experiences throughout contribute to the satisfaction and stability in
these events. That is, the satisfaction with the relationships is the personality of the spouses.
relationship is associated to its stability in time.
From the psychosocial perspective, there are 2.5. Spouses’ Personalities.
individual factors and others related the interaction There are 5 big personality traits (McCrae &
between spouses that explain the satisfaction in this Costa, 2007). According to Rodrigues, Hall and
marital trajectory in a way that is not contemplated by Fincham (2006) 1) Agreeableness is the tendency to
Evolutionary Theory. Variables such as life history, be altruistic, trusting, spirited, warm, and generous. 2)
personality, past experiences, and how emotions are Extraversion is the tendency to be optimistic,
managed (Karney & Bradbury, 1995), are factors that energetic, assertive, active, talkative, and friendly. 3)
individuals bring to the marriage and affect its Conscientiousness is the tendency to be efficient,
functioning in a positive or negative manner. Among rigorous, resourceful, organized, ambitious, dutiful,
them are the differentiation of self and the personality and enterprising. 4) Openness to experience includes
of each of the spouses. characteristics like an active imagination or creativity,
the acceptance of intimate feelings, and a preference
2.4. The differentiation of self. for variety. 5) Neuroticism is defined as the tendency
According to Bowen (1978), it is defined with to express negative feelings and experience emotional
regard to the degree in which a person can balance a) instability. (Donnellan, Conger & Bryant, 2004 and
emotional and intellectual functioning b) the need for Karney & Bradbury, 1995). This final factor is related
intimacy (closeness), and autonomy in interpersonal negatively and significantly to satisfaction in couple
relationships. In the case of the first aspect, the relationships. Persons with this kind of personality
balance between intellectual and emotional tend to have unstable relationships
functioning, the differentiation of self refers to the Persons with high levels of conscientiousness
ability to distinguish between thoughts and feelings show enough self-control to constructively manage the
and choose to be guided by reason, not by emotions conflicts that inevitably emerge in a relationship. The
(Bowen, 1978; Skowron & Friedlander, 1998). The presence of traits such as agreeableness,
second aspect of differentiation defines individuals conscientiousness and extraversion are positively
according to the degree of fusion and distance in their correlated to marital satisfaction and stability
interpersonal relationships. People with a high level of (Donnellan, Conger & Bryant, 2004).
differentiation maintain a level of autonomy in their On the other hand, the characteristics of the
intimate relationships and with ease establish intimacy interactions between spouses are also important when
willingly with others. On an interpersonal level, the explaining satisfaction in relationships. Both spouses
differentiation of self refers to being able to experience participate in the expression of positive and negative
intimacy while remaining independent of others interventions (Lavner & Bradbury, 2012).
(Bowen, 1978; Kerr & Bowen, 1988; Skowron & Within daily marital interactions, behaviors that
Friedlander, 1998; Vargas & Ibáñez, 2008). People occur when conflicts arise and during activities shared
who are more differentiated, more easily adopt a by the spouses create opportunities for interaction that
personal position in their interpersonal relationships may strengthen or harm the relationship and generate
and maintain their own convictions when pressured by opportunities for encounters amidst the stressful
others. This characteristic of a high degree of activities that each one needs to face in his or her
differentiation has been directly associated with a high daily activities.
level of satisfaction in a relationship. Bowen (1978,
2004) posits that the presence of similar levels of 2.6. Conflict resolution styles.
differentiation between spouses contributes positively A couple’s skills and individual styles that
to marital satisfaction. That is, when both spouses are contribute to the constructive communication of
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conflict in a relationship are good predictors of marital they provide pleasure in married life. Couples that feel
satisfaction (Clements, Stanley, & Markman, 2004). happy in their marriages tend to do things together,
Kurdek (1994) has identified the following styles: not just the things they like, but also, things they
dislike. More than the fact that the activity provides
2.6.1. Positive Conflict Resolution Style: pleasure to the couple or not, the core aspect includes
People focus on the problem and solve it sharing time together, resolving problems and being
constructively, trying to find acceptable alternatives for with the partner to do things she or he likes.
both spouses; they negotiate and mutually commit to Just as individual factors and those related to
making changes. interactions between spouses are important in the
study of couple relationships, there are also different
2.6.2. Looking for Conflict: A person explodes transformative processes in a marriage that can
and loses control, attacking the partner with insults explain marital stability and longevity. These are not
and insinuations, loses his or her temper, says things considered in Evolutionary Theory.
he or she does not mean.
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the motivation for staying away from the partner, c) 3.3. Sacrifice
and increase the motivation for conciliation and good Sacrifice is not an act in which people are
will towards the offender, despite his or her hurtful very willing to make in a relationship nowadays. It is
actions. actually associated to unhappiness and discontent.
The study of forgiveness shows that it Despite this, some studies show that people who are
constitutes the primary way of maintaining a more willing to sacrifice themselves report a greater
relationship (Braithwaite, Selby & Fincham, 2011; degree of satisfaction and persistence in relationships
Merolla & Zhang, 2011). Forgiveness in a couple’s and, therefore, more stable unions (Brewer & Mead,
relationship contributes to keeping it stable through 2008; Van Lange, Rusbult, Drigotas, Arriaga, Witcher
time. Being committed to the other person and the & Cox, 1997; Whitton, Stanley & Markman, 2007).
relationship is also a factor that may promote its They also explain that sacrifice in close relationships
stability. is a determining factor for the healthy functioning of a
couple.
3.2. Commitment According to Van Lange, Rusbult, Drigotas,
According to Buss (2007), the Evolutionary Arriaga, Witcher & Cox (1997), sacrifice is defined as
Theory explains that women are skeptic of men being the inclination to give up an immediate personal
truly able to commit. They underestimate a man’s interest in order to contribute to the spouse’s well-
capacity for commitment to a monogamous being or to the relationship. Sacrifice implies avoiding
relationship due to the fact that men pretend to be behaviors that the spouse considers undesirable
dedicated only as a strategy to have occasional sexual (passive sacrifice) or promoting those that are
relations with other women. Men that pursue these desirable to him or her in some way (active sacrifice).
occasional relationships often try to deceive women There are people who tend to make both kinds of
about their degree of commitment and social status. sacrifices.
This interpretation of commitment does not result in As sacrifice may involve negative
lasting marital relationships. On the contrary, when a consequences such as opportunity costs or involve
man considers other women as partners, this reflects efforts that have negative consequences, it is
his low level of commitment and may affect the important to distinguish between the concepts of
permanence of the relationship. Other researchers on sacrifice and cost. Van Lange, Rusbult, Drigotas,
the topic explain that commitment may contribute to a Arriaga, Witcher and Cox (1997) explain this
more lasting relationship. difference. Sacrifice refers to behavior that forgoes
According to Anderson and Sabatelli (2007), personal interest in order to promote the well-being of
commitment is reflected in the degree to which a the relationship; while cost refers to the feeling that an
person demonstrates the will to work for the event is unpleasant and harmful. Different events can
relationship to continue. This good will is characterized be considered costly; however, many of them are not
by an increasing intimacy and an exclusive viewed as sacrifices because they do not benefit the
relationship that does not change over the years. As relationship. Some costs are contempt, infidelity,
trust in the relationship grows, so does commitment to insults. Contrary to this, sacrifice refers to a person’s
it. This suggests that people who experience a high denial of an individual interest in favor of the
level of commitment in a relationship feel a great deal relationship without incurring in any personal harm.
of solidarity towards their partners and are determined This denial has no associated resentment and is
to continue in that relationship. The commitment of experienced as a generous sacrifice; for example,
both members of the couple is an important indicator helping a partner who is ill. Acts of sacrifice are
that can contribute to maintaining the relationship known as generous preferences. In seeking the
(Adams & Jones, 1997; Karney, Bradbury & Johnson, transformation of the relationship, personal
1999; Schoebi, Karney & Bradbury, 2012). When a preferences are denied in order to opt for broader
person demonstrates the constant desire and will to preferences that benefit the spouses.
maintain the relationship and overcome the adversities These and other desirable habits and
that occur throughout his or her lifetime, the possibility processes may be the basis for lasting romantic
of remaining in the relationship increases as does its relationships. Probably, none of them will maintain the
stability. initial romantic passion, but they result in more
Sacrifice is another transformative process mature, satisfactory and stable relationships. It is
that energizes a relationship.
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important, therefore, to analyze what constitutes a successful recuperation after the event are determined
satisfactory and stable relationship. by the way the family views stressful events.
Psychosocial research has consolidated In the end, these theoretical perspectives of
certain theories that also explain some other social- marital relations have significantly influenced the
cultural traits of couple relations. consolidation of robust postulates about the evolution
and changes in marriage.
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women are attracted to men who demonstrate trajectories in which people experience a low level of
maturity and an elevated financial and social status. satisfaction and continue stable, and others that
Nonetheless, people are not determined by the roles despite the high level of satisfaction that is perceived,
and behaviors dictated by evolution. When these run end in divorce.
out in relationships, due to the passage of time, other
conditions may support the relationship and influence
whether it disintegrates or not.
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