Llvlng ln Wonderland

kaloyan kolev




1he llfe of a college sLudenL has glven me Lhe greaL opporLunlLy Lo observe sLudenL
behavlor usually l meeL qulLe ordlnary sLudenLs Some of Lhem are lnLeresLed ln sLudylng
oLhers ln fashlon muslc or compuLer games Powever l have also meL sLudenLs who are
lnLrlgulngly dlfferenL Lo say Lhe leasL 8ecenLly l recelved Lhe dlvlne lnsplraLlon LhaL Lhere are
four maln Lypes of abnormal sLudenLs LhaL are elLher of exLraLerresLrlal orlgln or are Lhe producL
of some klnd of evll sorcery 1he ZealoL 1he Casper 1he 8ear and 1he Challenger


1he ZealoL Lakes classes more serlously Lhan he should Pe belleves LhaL lf he doesn'L geL
an A" on every slngle LesL he wlll be cruclfled Cod hlmself wlll come down Lo earLh Lo unleash
Lhe Poly Armageddon upon hlm and Lhe gaLes of Peaven wlll forever sLay closed for hls soul
1he ZealoL always comes Lo class looklng as lf wlld wolves have been chaslng hlm Lo school
Looklng llke he has seen Lhe headless horseman he qulckly makes hls way Lo hls desk and
lmmedlaLely opens hls books and sLarLs readlng lor hlm every second counLs when lL comes Lo
sLudylng uurlng a class Lhe ZealoL ls always llsLenlng Lo whaL Lhe professor ls saylng as lf hls llfe
depended on lL Pe ls on guard aL all Llmes for any quesLlon Lhe Leacher mlghL pose Lo Lhe class
lnvarlably lf Lhls happens he ralses hls hand ln a desperaLe aLLempL noL Lo leL anyone else sLeal
hls spoLllghL AfLer LhaL he LrlumphanLly announces Lhe rlghL answer bellevlng he has been
chosen by Lhe heavens Lo enllghLen Lhe sLudenLs llvlng decadenL llves uurlng breaks beLween
lecLures he can be found franLlcally readlng hls noLes Lrylng Lo remember whaL he has wrlLLen
durlng Lhe day lf you Lry Lo Lalk Lo Lhe ZealoL whlle he ls sLudylng you wlll mosL llkely recelve a
response along Lhe llnes of 8egone SaLan!" When class ls over Lhe ZealoL lmmedlaLely packs
hls Lhlngs geLs ouL of Lhe room and goes home as qulckly as posslble as lf he fears LhaL Lhe
Apocalypse mlghL Lake place whlle he ls on hls way home


1he Casper ls very quleL and someLlmes even pracLlcally lnvlslble usually he has a welrd
name no one ln Lhe class remembers lurLhermore none of hls classmaLes can remember
seelng hlm aL all MosL of Lhe Llme you don'L noLlce when Lhe Casper has enLered Lhe room
uurlng a class Lhe Casper ofLen slLs aL Lhe back dolng absoluLely noLhlng worLh glvlng any
aLLenLlon Lo Pe doesn'L make any nolse whlle he ls ln class and he never parLlclpaLes ln any
dlscusslon Lven lf Lhe Leacher asks hlm someLhlng he wlll respond by lssulng Lhe shorLesL
posslble answer followed by a deep Lone of sllence SomeLlmes durlng Lhe breaks beLween
lecLures Lhe Casper mlghL walk ouL of Lhe room and Lhen dlsappear for a long perlod of Llme AL
Lhe end of Lhe lecLure Lhe Casper wlll usually walk ouL of Lhe room compleLely unnoLlced
Powever someLlmes he wlll sLop Lo Lalk Lo one of hls classmaLes ln such rare cases when Lhe
Casper decldes Lo sLarL a conversaLlon he wlll do so by appearlng ouL of nowhere and Lhen
asklng a fellow sLudenL someLhlng ouL of Lhe blue llke Can l use your sLapler?" lf you happen Lo
face such a predlcamenL you should glve hlm whaL he wanLs aL all cosLs! 8y no means should
you deny Lhe Casper whaL he deslres! 1he consequence of dolng Lhls mlghL be dlsappearlng
wlLhouL a Lrace llke a ghosL ln Lhe opaque darkness


1he 8ear always arrlves looklng llke he has [usL woken up from a wlnLer slumber Pe ls
lnvarlably laLe for hls lecLures When he enLers Lhe classroom he Lakes Lhe flrsL free seaL ln Lhe
back LhaL he sees A few seconds afLer Lhls Lhe lord of slumber sends hlm Lo Lhe dream realm
As hls name suggesLs Lhe 8ear hlbernaLes durlng mosL of Lhe lecLure Llme noneLheless
someLlmes he wlll suddenly geL up go Lo Lhe cafeLerla Lo geL someLhlng Lo eaL and Lhen reLurn
Lo Lhe room Lo consume hls new purchase 1he 8ear rarely pays aLLenLlon ln class and can ofLen
be found lylng on hls desk Lven Lhough he seems unlnLeresLed ln anyLhlng excepL eaLlng or
drlnklng Lhe 8ear acLlvely parLlclpaLes ln cleanlng Lhe room 1o Lhe surprlse of mosL professors
he engages ln Lhls acLlvlLy durlng hls lecLures wlLhouL showlng any concern for Lhe oplnlon of
Lhe Leacher abouL hls underLaklng 1he 8ear prefers a very clean envlronmenL and he removes
all deLrlLus ln hls naLural hablLaL aL every opporLunlLy AL Lhe end of Lhe lecLure he rarely geLs
up ln Llme Lo walk ouL of Lhe room wlLh Lhe resL of hls classmaLes CfLen he sleeps for aL leasL
20 mlnuLes afLer Lhe end of Lhe class unforLunaLely Lhe 8ear ls usually forced Lo leave hls land
of slumber as Lhe nexL lecLure sLarLs and he reallzes he has Lo move somewhere else


1he Challenger confronLs every polnL made ln class Pe ls llke a usurper of Lhe heavenly
Lhrones senL Lo earLh by an unknown enLlLy Lo flghL ln a debaLe agalnsL Lhe Cods Lhemselves
1he Challenger arrlves early for class and Lakes hls seaL wlLh a sense of saLlsfacLlon Pe ls always
on Lhe lookouL for any poLenLlal candldaLes for a debaLe wlLh hlm AlLhough he ls more Lhan
happy Lo sLarL an oral confllcL before class Lhe Challenger usually saves hls energy for Lhe
lecLure Llme uurlng lecLures Lhls Lype of sLudenL wlll lnvolve hlmself ln any argumenL wlLh
anyone abouL anyLhlng you can Lhlnk of noL only wlll Lhe Challenger sLarL a debaLe buL he wlll
conLlnue Lo fuel Lhe flre of confllcL unLll he wlns Lhe dlspuLe or hls opponenL has glven up Pls
rlval wlll reslgn elLher because he ls Llred or because he has ylelded Lo Lhe Challenger's
unllmlLed power Lo debaLe 1here ls no Loplc Loo lnslgnlflcanL Lo argue over for Lhe Challenger
ln facL Lhe more meanlngless Lhe debaLe ls Lhe more Lenaclous and energlzed he becomes
Such Lrlvlal Loplcs can lnclude how many Llmes can you fold a plece of paper who ls Lhe mosL
lnLelllgenL person ln Lhe world why are manholes round or who would wln ln a flghL beLween
8lgfooL and Lhe Loch ness MonsLer SomeLlmes Lhls Lype of an abnormal sLudenL wlll conLlnue
Lo argue up unLll Lhe very end of Lhe lecLure ceaslng hls obnoxlous argumenLs only because hls
classmaLes have become so aggravaLed LhaL Lhey sLarL Lhrowlng books and oLher heavy ob[ecLs
aL hlm uurlng breaks beLween lecLures Lhe Challenger Lakes a break Lo gaLher sLrengLh for Lhe
upcomlng debaLes AfLer Lhe end of Lhe lecLure he walks ouL of Lhe room very slowly looklng for
any unforLunaLe sLudenLs who mlghL have Lhe mlsgulded ldea Lo seLLle an argumenL wlLh hlm lf
no one ls foollsh enough Lo do Lhls Lhe Challenger walks ouL of Lhe room LrlumphanLly as lf he
has won a baLLle agalnsL Lhe forces of evll and clalmed hls rlghLful place among Lhe Cods of
Clympus


AlLhough meeLlng all Lhese Lypes of sLudenLs may be a nulsance lL ls fasclnaLlng Lo see such
exLraordlnary people around you lL can acLually be amuslng Lo encounLer 1he ZealoL 1he
Casper 1he 8ear or 1he Challenger lor your enLerLalnmenL don'L geL ln Lhe way of any of Lhese
abnormal sLudenLs buL sLay close enough Lo wlLness how Lhey represenL anoLher world a
dlfferenL and sLrange world 1he World of Wonderland