Chapter | 4╇ Positive Psychological Interventions 115

It is important to recall the information related to cultural aspects of opti-

mism and pessimism and about the benefits of defensive pessimism as noted
in Chapter 3 before working with clients on the optimism exercises previously
described. Indeed, such optimism exercises could be ineffective or even prob-
lematic if used inappropriately.
A noble person attracts noble people, and knows how to hold onto them.

Goethe

Love and attachment are the foci of Session 10 of Positive Psychotherapy.

Clients are assisted in understanding how engagement and meaning in life
might be experienced through relationships and connections with others. In
particular, clients are asked to consider how they respond to the positive events
in the lives of those that they care about (Rashid, 2008).
According to Gable and colleagues (2004), there are four possible ways
in which one can respond to the good events in the lives of those with whom
one interacts. Table 4.2 provides examples of these four response styles. Of the
four styles, only the active–constructive style benefits both the individual one
is interacting with, as well as the relationship between the two parties. Indeed,
research supports that those who interact with others in active–constructive
ways report higher levels of daily happiness, more satisfaction, more trust and

Table 4.2â•… Four styles of interpersonal responding to the good events in

others’ lives (Gable et al., 2004).

Situation: a husband responds to his wife’s good news that she is being
considered for a promotion.

Constructive
Active “That is wonderful! I am so happy for
you. You would be excellent in that
new position.”
(responding enthusiastically;
maintaining eye contact, smiling,
displaying positive emotions)
Destructive
“If you get the promotion, you are
going to have to be at work all week
and on Saturday mornings too.”
(pointing out the downside;
displaying negative nonverbal cues)

Passive “That’s nice that you are being
considered for the promotion.”
(happy, but lacking enthusiasm/
downplaying; little to no active
emotional expression)
“A promotion, huh? Well, hurry
up and get changed so we can get
some dinner. I’m starving.”
(lacking interest; displaying little
to no eye contact, turning away,
leaving the room)

Only the active-constructive style of responding benefits both the individual with the good news
and the relationship (Gable et al., 2004).
116 Therapist’s Guide to Positive Psychological Interventions

intimacy within their relationships, and less conflicts (Gable et al., 2004). In
contrast, the other three response styles are negatively related to well-being for
both the person with the good news and one’s relationship with that individual.
In order to get better at active–constructive responding, clients can consciously
work on becoming aware of their usual style of responding by keeping a daily log
of interpersonal interactions. If a person is not often engaging in the active–con-
structive style, he or she can write down what could have been said to make the
response active and constructive and then consciously think about responding in
this way in the future. In addition, if one has access to the person who they failed
to respond to in an active–constructive manner, the individual can intentionally
seek out the person whose good news had been shared and apologize for not being
more enthusiastic the first time. Finally, clients can practice this response style by
purposefully trying to elicit information about the positive events in the lives of
those with whom they interact on a daily basis. Worksheet 4.14 can be provided to
help clients learn to become better at active–constructive responding.
Chapter | 4╇ Positive Psychological Interventions 117

Worksheet 4.14 Active–constructive responding (Gable et al., 2004)

homework instructions
When other people you care about tell you good news, how do you typi-
cally respond? There are four possible ways in which you can respond to
the good events in the lives of those with whom you interact. See the chart
below for examples of these response styles.
Situation: A husband responds to his wife’s good news that she is being
considered for a promotion.

Constructive
Active “That is wonderful! I am so
happy for you. You would be
excellent in that new position.” be at work all week and on
(responding enthusiastically;
maintaining eye contact,
smiling, displaying positive
emotions)
Passive “That’s nice that you are
being considered for the
promotion.”
(happy, but lacking
enthusiasm/downplaying;
little to no active emotional
expression)
Destructive
“If you get the promotion,
you are going to have to
Saturday mornings too.”
(pointing out the downside;
displaying negative
nonverbal cues)
“A promotion, huh? Well,
hurry up and get changed so
we can get some dinner. I’m
starving.”
(lacking interest;
displaying little to no eye
contact, turning away,
leaving the room)

Of the four styles, only the active–constructive style benefits both the indi-
vidual you are interacting with, as well as your relationship with that person.
In contrast, the other three response styles are negatively related to well-
being for both the person with the good news and your relationship with
that individual (Gable et al., 2004).
In order to get better at active–constructive responding, you can consciously
work on becoming aware of your usual style of responding by keeping a
daily log of your interpersonal interactions. If you are not often engaging
in the active–constructive style, you can write down what could have been
said to make the response active and constructive and then consciously think
about responding in this way in the future. In addition, if you have access
to the person/people who you failed to respond to in an active–constructive
manner, you can intentionally seek out the person/people whose good news
118 Therapist’s Guide to Positive Psychological Interventions

had been shared and apologize for not being more enthusiastic the first time.
Finally, you can practice this response style by purposefully trying to elicit
information about the positive events in the lives of those with whom you
interact on a daily basis.
The chart on the next page has been designed in order to help you get started
on becoming better at active–constructive responding. Over the course of the
next week, please listen carefully for others to report positive events to you
and go out of your way to respond enthusiastically to their good news. As
noted above, if in retrospect you realize that you failed to respond actively
and constructively to someone’s good news, please consider seeking out the
person and apologizing for not responding more enthusiastically and be sure
to respond in this manner the next time they share their good news.
Finally, you are encouraged to take note of how those in your personal life
respond when you share good news with them. If you identify that your
friends, family, or significant others fail to respond in the active–constructive
style, you might want to teach them about the value of active–constructive
responding and how to implement it. Indeed, many people are willing and
able to use the active–constructive response style once they understand the
importance of this response style in terms of relationship enhancement.
 Active–constructive responding log

Chapter | 4╇ Positive Psychological Interventions

Positive event Reported by My response Type of response Others’ reaction What I could have
reported (verbatim) (active/passive; to my response said/did that would
constructive/ have been better
destructive)

119
120 Therapist’s Guide to Positive Psychological Interventions

In addition to helping clients to become better at active–constructing respond-

ing, therapists can also encourage clients to think about how those in their
personal lives respond to their good events. When clients identify that their sig-
nificant others fail to respond in the active–constructive style, they can be encour-
aged to ask for what they need. Indeed, clients can teach those in their lives about
the value of active–constructive responding and how easy it is to implement
once one is aware of the utility of this response style in terms of relationship
enhancement.
Therapists are also highly encouraged to practice active–constructive
responding in their work with clients. Indeed, responding in this manner to
the positive events reported by clients serves not only to model this important
relationship-enhancing behavior, but to strengthen the therapeutic bond as well.
In addition to the active–constructive responding homework, clients are pro-
vided with a strengths-date exercise in session 9 (Rashid, 2008). In this home-
work assignment, clients are asked to set up a date with a significant other that
will capitalize upon the strengths of both the client and his or her partner. In
order to complete this exercise, it is useful if both the client and the client’s
partner have completed the VIA Inventory of Character Strengths (Peterson and
Seligman, 2004) and know each other’s top five strengths. Worksheet 4.15 can
be used in the strengths-date planning process. The worksheet includes several
example strengths dates as well to help clients in their own date planning.