Cold Email Rewrite

by Alan Ruchtein and Yurii Veremchuk

This is a typical cold email in 2024...
Subject Line: Integrate and Consolidate data 10X faster

Hi Matt,

I’m reaching out to see if I can help Woodpecker with its data integration and warehousing needs.

Our powerful ETL/ELT functionalities and automation capabilities can help you build dynamic data
pipelines from source to your preferred destination, without writing a single line of code.

Here’s how we helped a similar SaaS bring down data migration time from 6 months to 1 week, and
accelerated the process by 10x!

Extract, integrate, transform, clean, and consolidate data in a modern warehouse, with just a few
clicks!

If this is something that interests you, don’t hesitate to reply. Or you can click on the button
below to download a free trial:
it looks just like any other email
that doesn’t bring any results
 that’s why Alan & Yurii rewrote it
(so you don't have to make these mistakes)
But first, let's see what's
wrong with this one
Word count: 113 | Reading Grade Level: 7
Hi [Fname],

I'm reaching out to see if I can help [organization name] with its data integration and
warehousing needs.
Our powerful ETL/ELT functionalities and automation capabilities can help you build
dynamic data pipelines from source to your preferred destination, without writing a single line
of code.

Here's how Woodpecker helped <company> bring down data migration time from 6 months
to 1 week, and accelerated the process by 10x!

Extract, integrate, transform, clean and consolidate data in a modern warehouse, with just a
few clicks!

If this is something that interests you, don't hesitate to reply.

Or you can click on the button below to download a free trial:

Hard To Read Sentence Very Hard To Read Sentence

Subject Line: Integrate and Consolidate data 10X faster

Long & Salesy subject line

=
Hit’s Prospects Mental SPAM Filters
I’m reaching out to see if I can help Woodpecker
with its data integration and warehousing needs

Have a good reason why you’re reaching out.

You’ve got to be 100% confident that you can help

=
Poor Email Opener
Our powerful ETL/ELT functionalities and automation capabilities
can help you build dynamic data pipelines from source to your
preferred destination, without writing a single line of code.

Complex language loaded with feature dump

instead of benefits for the prospect
=
No “What’s In It For Me”
Here’s how we helped <company> bring down data migration time
from 6 months to 1 week, and accelerated the process by 10x!

The first part is not that bad, but dropping a 10x

the statement is a dangerous trick in 2024
=
Prospect Smells the BS Here
Extract, integrate, transform, clean and consolidate
data in a modern warehouse, with just a few clicks!

Marketing copywriting doesn’t move

the needle forward in cold emails
=
“Another Marketing Email”
If this is something that interests you, don’t hesitate to reply.
Or you can click on the button below to download a free trial

Don’t add links to cold emails

=
Poor Call-To-Action
 Alan’s Rewrite
Word count: 37 | Reading Grade Level: 4
subject line: data headache

Hi Matt,

Tired of data migration eating up months? Our ETL/ELT solution eliminates

that pain, reducing time by 80%.

Imagine the relief of transforming your data with ease, no coding required.

Worth a peak?
 Alan’s Rewrite
subject line: data headache

1-3 word boring subject lines perform best

=
internal camouflage
 Alan’s Rewrite

Tired of data migration eating up months?

Uncover Emotional connection to the problem.

Then show the prospect how she can solve it

=
internal camouflage
 Alan’s Rewrite
Our ETL/ELT solution eliminates
that pain, reducing time by 80%.
Add some numbers to prove what KPI’s will
change after you’ll solve the problem
=
internal camouflage
 Alan’s Rewrite
Imagine the relief of transforming your
data with ease, no coding required.
Visualize the effects of the change
=
Visualisation Helps Massively
 Alan’s Rewrite
Worth a peak?

No pressure CTA
=
Higher Chances of Getting a Response
Original Alan’s Rewrite
Word count: 113 | Reading Grade Level: 7 Word count: 37 | Reading Grade Level: 4
Hi [Fname], subject line: data headache

I'm reaching out to see if I can help [organization name] with Hi Matt,
its data integration and warehousing needs.
Tired of data migration eating up months? Our ETL/ELT
Our powerful ETL/ELT functionalities and automation
capabilities can help you build dynamic data pipelines from solution eliminates that pain, reducing time by 80%.
source to your preferred destination, without writing a single
line of code. Imagine the relief of transforming your data with ease,
no coding required.
Here's how Woodpecker helped <company> bring down data
migration time from 6 months to 1 week, and accelerated the Worth a peak?
process by 10x!

Extract, integrate, transform, clean and consolidate data in a

modern warehouse, with just a few clicks!

If this is something that interests you, don't hesitate to reply.

Or you can click on the button below to download a free trial:

 Yurii’s Rewrite
Word count: 52 | Reading Grade Level: 4
Aren't you pissed when Woodpecker's data migration takes months?

Imagine all the features your IT team could have worked on, if only it
was quicker.

LiveChat brought down migration time from 6 months to 3 weeks. We

took care of warehousing for them.

Would love to help save some time as well. Let's chat.

 Yurii’s Rewrite
subject line: data consolidation

2 word subject lines are the sweet spot

=
internal camouflage
 Yurii’s Rewrite

Aren't you pissed when Woodpecker's

data migration takes months?

Get straight to the point.

That’s how you uncover urgency. Add into
the mix some emotional connection
=
Patter Interruption
 Yurii’s Rewrite
If only it was quicker, imagine all the features
your IT team could have worked on.
Visualise Cost Of Inaction (COI)
=
Status QUO cannot be ignored
 Yurii’s Rewrite
LiveChat brought down data migration from 6 months
to 3 weeks. We took care of warehousing for them.

Add a social proof of a similar company

=
Build Trust Faster
 Yurii’s Rewrite
Would love to help save some time as well. Let's chat.

Don’t ask for too much. Show that there’s

Somethin In It For Prospect
=
Start More Conversations
Original
Word count: 113 | Reading Grade Level: 7
Hi [Fname],
I'm reaching out to see if I can help [organization name] with
its data integration and warehousing needs.
Our powerful ETL/ELT functionalities and automation
capabilities can help you build dynamic data pipelines from
source to your preferred destination, without writing a single
line of code.
Yurii’s Rewrite
Word count: 54 | Reading Grade Level: 4
Matt - aren't you pissed when Woodpecker's data
migration takes months?
Imagine all the features your IT team could have worked
on, if only it was quicker.
LiveChat brought down migration time from 6 months to
3 weeks. We took care of warehousing for them.

Here's how Woodpecker helped <company> bring down data Would love to help save some time as well. Let's chat.
migration time from 6 months to 1 week, and accelerated the
process by 10x!

Extract, integrate, transform, clean and consolidate data in a

modern warehouse, with just a few clicks!

If this is something that interests you, don't hesitate to reply.

Or you can click on the button below to download a free trial:

What would
you add?