Christian Quirarte

Dr. Alison Burke

CCJ 361

Jan 15, 2022

My name is Lorenzo Diaz, some people call me ZO or Big Zo. I am 16 years old and

from the west side of Merced, California. Growing up in Merced can be difficult on the West

side compared to the other side of town. On the West side, I live in low income housing with my

grandparents who have raised me since I was young. Both of my grandparents are now a little

too old to be working. Before I was born my mother got with my father at a very young age.

They only had me so I am the only child of my parents. Both of my parents would also get into a

lot of trouble. My father had been a part of a gang in Merced while my mother wasn't much into

the gang but was always still around. When I was born, my mother started to fall into drugs

pretty hard. During that time I was around the age of 7 and my father had already been locked up

for attempted murder. My grandparents took it upon themselves to take over and raise me.

During the times this was all happening, I started living with my grandparents and I

began to rebel against everything. By the time I got into high school, I had been into a lot of

trouble and was well known by the police around town. I was constantly fighting, stealing, and

hanging out with the wrong people. A lot of my friends are just like me and get into a lot of

trouble as well. I am always getting suspended from school because of my fighting issues and as

well as my attendance rate. I never want to go to class so I skip whenever I don't feel like going

to school. When I don’t go to school, we just go back to our houses in the neighborhood and chill
with the olders guys who drink and smoke on the block. All of the guys have known me since I

was young and have shown me the ways of the streets growing up.

During the free time, we hangout until the girls get out of school and try to hang out

whenever they get home. During the weekends, we usually go to parties and get into trouble

whether we are stealing from corner stores or getting into fights with some dudes from different

areas. There have been times where I have been in some bad trouble after getting caught for

armed robbery and grand theft auto. I know there are many things that I shouldn't be doing but

it's a part of what I do now. I enjoy just being out with my friends and doing whatever I want and

keeping my mind off of other things.

I just feel like school isn't really my thing and I feel there is no use for it. I want to drop

out and hangout with my friends and do what we do on the streets. My grandparents always tell

me I need to straighten out and try to get ready to work at a job to help out and make some

money to benefit myself. They also always tell me to stay out of trouble and stay away from the

bad kids in the neighborhood but they are all my good friends. I feel I get a lot of love from my

friends and get to earn respect from the guys in the neighborhood. I am able to learn a lot from

the older dudes in the gangs and have these guys to look up to. Having that feeling of a family

and brotherhood is good and makes me feel cool. Seeing these older guys on the block, selling

drugs, stealing, getting into fights and picking up girls makes me want to be like them too and

join a gang.

Getting into trouble, being a rebel, and fighting really makes me have some fun and

makes me feel good because I get to release all of my anger. I feel like this is where I belong and

can make something of myself. I hope one day I will be able to join the gang and become a top

dog and have the respect of the whole town.