LAST MEMORY

In a corner of a small town, three friends, Mia, Lulu, and Eva, gather in a cafe that
serves special coffee drinks. The warm and simple atmosphere of the cafe further strengthens
the nostalgic impression. They sat at the same table as before, where they often spent time
together. Today, this meeting was their last meeting before parting ways.

In a conversation full of jokes and laughter, unexpected news emerged, Eva received
a job offer abroad that she couldn't refuse. However, Eva's feelings of happiness conflict with
Mia and Lulu's feelings, causing tension between them. The silence that followed this
revelation was a sign that this meeting carried a heavy emotional burden. Mia tried to hide
her anxiety, "Eva, amazing! You can definitely conquer the world." Lulu added, "But, it's
hard to imagine us not being together like now." Eva, who tried to overcome the tension,
conveyed the good intentions behind her decision. "You two will always be in my heart, and
this was an opportunity that was hard to pass up." However, despite Eva's meaningful words,
feelings of sadness and separation began to dissipate between them. They realize that life will
bring big changes and this meeting is the last moment before they part ways.

Eva then gave Mia and Lulu small gifts, each in the form of a diary. The symbolism
of this gift creates the feeling that even though physical distance separates them, the
memories, stories and hopes will live on in the pages of the diary. When they opened the
diary, the three friends found a blank page waiting to be filled with their respective new life
stories. Their smiles create moments that are also full of emotion. This is the climax of the
story, where they feel the strength of their strong bond, even in the midst of separation. "We
will always be together in our memories and on the pages of our respective diaries," said Mia
softly with teary eyes.

Standing to leave, the three friends hugged each other tightly. Even though they feel
lost, they know this is the step they have to take. With heavy steps they left the cafe carrying
memories and promises written in their respective diaries. “Distance will never change our
friendship. See you guys," said Lulu while looking at the night sky. As they walk away, the
dusk casts warm colors that symbolize their sadness. But behind her departure, there is a
belief that their friendship will remain eternal, beyond distance and time.
FEEDBACK
Reviewer by : Keisya Marezka Asyuranissa J.P – 11210140000039

1. What do you like about my writing?

= Your writing is full of emotion and captures the essence of friendship and
goodbyes with grace. The way you depict the scenes, emotions, and depth of their
bond through the cafe setting, dialogue, and symbolic gifts is truly captivating.

2. What works well? What are some specific examples of things that you thought
were done well?
= I think the story beautifully captures the essence of friendship, nostalgia, and the
bittersweet nature of goodbyes. The setting descriptions create a lively
atmosphere, and the characters' emotions are conveyed effectively through their
dialogue and actions. The moment of hugging and confessing their emotions when
leaving is a strong example that is very memorable. The depiction of conflicting
emotions between friends adds depth to the story, making it interesting and
emotionally engaging.

3. What are some things that you did not understand in my writing? Are they
questions that you have about why I wrote the way that I did?
= Your writing is very emotional and touching. However, there seem to be several
things that I don't understand, such as What made Eva choose to accept a job offer
abroad? Is there a special reason or hope that she wants to pursue with this step?

4. What are some parts of my writing that you felt were left unfinished or not fully
explored?
= Your writing has created deep emotional moments between the three characters
as they face a difficult breakup. However, there may be room to explore more
deeply how the three will handle the breakup individually after leaving the cafe.
Maybe also explore their feelings after some time has passed, have they managed
to maintain their relationship or have there been deeper changes?

5. What could I do specifically to make this a better piece? What parts would you
change and how?
= I think it's more in depth to introduce these characters - Mia, Lulu, and Eva. You
can dig deeper into who they are, their backgrounds, and their dreams. This can
make readers more sensitive to their feelings. And the ending adds clarity about
how they hope to stay connected in the future, perhaps by adding scenes or
phrases that reinforce their beliefs.

6. Comment on the narration. Was the narrative voice effective? First/Second/Third

person?
 = The narration is interesting and full of emotion. The voice feels like a third-
person narrative that depicts feelings and experiences from a perspective that
involves all three characters well.

7. Comment on the characters. Were the characters explored in detail? Can you
make any suggestions on how to improve the development of characters?
= The story displays the warm and close relationship between Mia, Lulu, and Eva,
showing the depth of their friendship bond. However, Eva's character could
perhaps have been explored in more detail to provide deeper insight into her
feelings and internal conflict regarding this difficult decision. For example,
showing her emotional struggles more specifically or how her decisions affect the
dynamics of the relationship between them. To improve character development,
more scenes or dialogue showing Eva's internal conflict could be added. For
example, flashbacks or moments of introspection by Eva regarding the
considerations she experienced before accepting the job offer. Providing deeper
insight into his feelings will make the reader more connected to the character's
emotional journey

8. Comment on the themes. What theme do you think is explored? Is it clear?

= The theme is quite clearly depicted through emotional moments between the
main characters who face separation and convey hope that their friendship will
remain eternal even though they are far apart.

9. Comment on the literary devices used. Are characterization, setting, similes,

metaphors and descriptive language etc, used? Can you suggest any words/
devices that should be changed / used to enhance the writing?
= Regarding similes and metaphors, the use of diaries as a symbol of the eternity
of friendship is very powerful. Perhaps adding more metaphors or similes to
describe their feelings at separation would be an interesting addition, for example
using comparisons to other objects that reflect their relationship. To flesh out the
writing, there might be room to include more emotional details from the
characters' points of view. This can add depth to their interactions and strengthen
the emotional bonds that occur. Additionally, adding layers to the backstory of
Eva accepting the job offer could be an interesting addition to clarify her decision.

10. Are there any spelling, punctuation or grammatical errors that need to be
addressed?
= I think sentence "They realize that life will bring big changes and this meeting is
the last moment before they part ways." To clarify, it could be "They realize that
life will bring significant changes, and this meeting signifies their impending
separation." And there is subject confusion in the sentence "Their smiles create
moments that are also full of emotion." Maybe it could be adjusted to "Their
smiles create an emotional moment," or something similar to clarify the subject.
 And last, the sentence "See you guys," here you can add quotation marks ("") to
indicate that it is Lulu's words.

LAST MEMORY

In a corner of a small town, three friends, Mia, Lulu, and Eva, gather in a cafe that
serves special coffee drinks. The warm and simple atmosphere of the cafe further strengthens
the nostalgic impression. They sat at the same table as before, where they often spent time
together. This meeting was their last meeting before separating.

In a conversation full of jokes and laughter, unexpected news emerged. Eva received
a job offer abroad that she couldn't refuse because it had been Eva's dream since childhood to
be able to work abroad. However, Eva's feelings of happiness conflict with the feelings of
Mia and Lulu who are aware of the departure of one of their friends, causing tension between
them. The silence that followed this news was a sign that this meeting carried a heavy
emotional burden. Mia tried to hide her anxiety and said "Eva, amazing! You can definitely
conquer the world." Lulu added "But, it's hard to imagine us not being together like now."
Eva, who tried to overcome the tension, conveyed the good intentions behind her decision.
"You two will always be in my heart, and this was an opportunity that was hard to pass up."
However, despite Eva's meaningful words, feelings of sadness and separation began to
dissipate between them. They realize that life will bring big changes, and this meeting is the
last moment before they part ways.

Eva then gave Mia and Lulu small gifts, each in the form of a diary. The symbolism
of this gift creates the feeling that even though physical distance separates them, the
memories, stories, and hopes will live on in the pages of the diary. When they opened the
diary, the three friends found a blank page waiting to be filled with their own new life stories.
Their smiles create moments that are also full of emotion. They feel the strength of their
strong bond even in the midst of separation. "We will always be together in our memories
and on the pages of our respective diaries," said Mia softly with teary eyes.

Standing to leave, the three friends hugged each other tightly. Even though they feel
lost, they know this is the step they have to take. With heavy steps, they left the cafe carrying
memories and promises written in their respective diaries. “Distance will never change our
friendship. See you," Lulu said while looking at the night sky. As they walk away, the dusk
provides warm colors that symbolize their sadness. But behind his departure, there is a belief
that their friendship will remain eternal, beyond distance and time.