Kids and standing on their own two feet

by Nguyễn Mỹ Hà

Give your children the chance to value work and make their own money, so they appreciate what you
have given them.

School has been underway for a few weeks already and among the hassle of getting the kids ready for
the new school year, netizens were aghast to hear that, according to leaks from a prominent private college
recruiting for the first time, some rich kids were given a new car or perhaps an apartment to welcome in another
year of study.Some parents asked the school whether giving their children a hundred million đồng (US$4,300)
a month was enough! Peer pressure kicks in quite early for Việt Nam’s young, who are exposed to ostentatious
displays of wealth, power, and privilege from an early age.
I remember my daughter coming home from primary school and talking about how some of her
classmates had Gucci shoes or Chanel bags. I spent a lot of time explaining to her that they might be fake shoes
or bags, then asking whether such things were that good anyway. In the end, I just told her that her friends’
families are different from hers and life is not a competition. Kids being kids, they observe and judge in their
own way. One of her other classmates told her his family owned a golf course, while another had a swimming
pool and yet another had a chauffeur drop him off at school every morning and pick him up every afternoon. I
could easily confirm there was indeed a kid being dropped off and picked up by a chauffeur, but I never did
find out if the golf course or pool were real. Maybe they were just products of fertile young imaginations.
I did what I could to convince my daughter that she wasn’t at any disadvantage, and pointed out that,
really, being dropped off at school by someone who loves you is a much better start to the day.
“There are three different ‘tea groups’ in my class,” she told me when she reached junior high.
“The rich-kid group goes to Starbucks, the next group, the sort-of-rich-kids group, goes to Highlands
Coffee, and the third one, mine, share a tall glass of iced lemon tea that costs VNĐ7,000!”
“It’s a good thing to have close friends to share things with!” I told her. But I also know it’s a good
thing to have friends to share things in style in a trendy café.
There’s a Vietnamese saying on the subject that parents tell children who fancy things the family
simply can’t afford: “Con nhà lính, tính nhà quan!”, roughly translating as “a soldier’s child, with the tastes of
a mandarin’s!” Of course, every parent wants their kids to have more than they did. But some people take it to
the extreme, giving their kids everything that opens and shuts. It often backfires, ironically, as kids given things
too easily grow up to be adults who don’t appreciate the hard work, the resilience, and, frequently, the sacrifice
their parents made for them. No one’s a winner in that scenario. “Nước mắt chảy xuôi”, or tears only fall
downwards, is another saying. Parents “fall” for the sake of their children, it goes, and the opposite needn’t
happen. Those who believe so may need to think again, though. Give your children the chance to value work
and make their own money, so they appreciate what you have given them.
“My mum is like a queen,” one of my daughter’s friends complained when she was over one day. “She
sits there, polishing her nails, and tells me to go clean my room, or asks if I’ve washed the dishes, or tells me to
turn the automatic floor cleaner on. I feel like a servant!” She’s exaggerating, of course. It’s a good idea to
insist your kids do a share of the housework and be responsible for the state of their own room. Her parents
have actually done a great job teaching her how to be independent and to also know about chores. “My parents
are rich, but I’m not!”, she once said in self-awareness and confidence. Her family still travel deluxe together,
because she’s an only child. But if she ever had a sibling, she would have to go back to economy with her
younger brother or sister. These are tough life lessons. But I believe she will grow up to be a well-adjusted
adult with humility and respect for others. VNS

Summary
The passage discusses the pressure from friends and society on children in Vietnam, as well as the role of
parents in educating their children about values, independence, and responsibility. Many parents tend to give
their children what they want, leading to many children taking things for granted and not appreciating
everything. As they grow up, they become dependent on their parents, lacking independence and risking
failure by living this way. This is not ideal, and parents should help their children understand that life is not a
competition, and teaching them to value work and independence is crucial.
To enable their children to live independently and provide them with what they truly need, parents should
establish guidelines for their children to follow in order to grow up well and become valuable individuals for
themselves, their families, and society. Encouraging children to share and participate in household chores is
also a way to educate them to become independent and responsible.
Vocarbulary

1. Underway - Đang diễn ra

2. Hassle - Rắ c rố i
3. Netizens - Cư dân mạ ng
4. Aghast - Sử ng số t
5. Leaks - Rò rỉ
6. Prominent - Nổ i bậ t
7. Recruiting - Tuyển dụ ng
8. Rich - Giàu có
9. Ostentatious - Phô trương
10. Displays - Trưng bày
11. Wealth - Sự giàu có
12. Power - Quyền lự c
13. Privilege - Đặ c quyền
14. Primary - Chính
15. Gucci - Thương hiệu Gucci
16. Chanel - Thương hiệu Chanel
17. Fake - Giả mạ o
18. Competition - Cạ nh tranh
19. Classmates - Bạ n họ c
20. Golf course - Sân golf
21. Swimming pool - Bể bơi
22. Chauffeur - Tài xế
23. Disadvantage - Bấ t lợ i
24. Advantage - Ưu điểm
25. Fertile - Màu mỡ
26. Imaginations - Sự tưở ng tượ ng
27. Convince - Thuyết phụ c
28. Junior high - Trung họ c cơ sở
29. Confirm: xác nhậ n, chứ ng thự c
30. Daughter: con gái
31. Iced lemon tea - Trà chanh đá
32. Tea groups - Nhóm trà
33. Trendy - Phong cách
34. Vietnamese - Ngườ i Việt Nam
35. Saying - Câu nói
36. Mandarin - Tiếng Quan Thoạ i
37. Extreme - Cự c đoan
38. Resilience - Sứ c bền
39. Sacrifice - Hy sinh
40. Appreciate - Đánh giá
41. Hard work - Lao độ ng chăm chỉ
42. No one - Không ai
43. Tears - Nướ c mắ t
44. Scenario - Tình huố ng
45. Parents - Phụ huynh
46. Children - Trẻ em
47. Exaggerating - Phóng đạ i
48. Housework - Việc nhà
49. Responsibility - Trách nhiệm
50. Independent - Độ c lậ p
51. Self-awareness - Tự nhậ n thứ c
52. Confidence - Tự tin
53. Deluxe - Sang trọ ng
54. Economy - Kinh tế
55. Sibling - Anh chị em ruộ t
56. Tough - Khó khăn
57. Well-adjusted - Điều chỉnh tố t
58. Humility - Khiêm nhườ ng
59. Respect - Tôn trọ ng
60. Observe: quan sát