BILGE
THE SWILLITE GAZETTE
NO 317.
A QUESTION OF PFISH
E’rring took a long drag from the half
dozen cigarettes he’d lodged into the
rotting carp head he called a mask and
vomited bloodied bits of trachea onto
the cobbles.
“T’urnips.” He spat. His bloodied
mouth unable to wrap itself around the
unpronounceable foreign word.
I T IS EEL DAY, AND
PFISHMONGER WORKHOUSES
SWARM THE DOCKLANDS IN
THEIR THOUSANDS. Guilds from
across Swill have come to pay fealty
to a titanic Scab-Steam prison hulk,
housing their Factory Cult’s overlord,
the parapsychic and obscenely cruel
dreadnaught ‘Devourer’.*
Workhouses
You find yourself in charge of a
Pfishmonger workhouse on Eel day.
In Swill, each Workhouse is made up
of 5 long-suffering characters. These
characters are broken down into Scum
and Dregs.
SWILL TOURIST BUREAU: EEL DAY
Scum
• First, every Workhouse must have
its leader, known as the Berk. This
charismatic murderer in a top hat leads
the Workhouse.
A Workhouse may only ever have
one Berk.
• Secondly, every Berk needs someone
to rely on, and this is the Rotter, The
Berk’s spectacularly violent mate.
There are hundreds of Rotters in
Swill: Pfishmongers, ironmongers,
filthmongers and cheesemongers to
name but a few. All masters of their craft,
and not much else.
A Workhouse starts with 1 Rotter.
• Lastly, and unfortunately is the Twerp,
a snivelling brat sent down from the
Factory Cult. Fantastically overconfident,
unqualified and a danger to anyone
around them.
There’s always a Twerp.
A Workhouse MUST have 1 Twerp.
Dregs
• There is always an endless supply of
miserable mutants willing to swear fealty
to your Workhouse. These are the Dregs
of Swill. Pathetic figures, incapable of
anything except barbaric cruelty and
a little manual labour. There are many
Dregs available to a Workhouse, but at
the moment, your Workhouse can only
afford to hire 2 Dregs.
A Workhouse starts with 2 Dregs.
Consulting the Charts
Swill in a narrative focused game, and,
with that, comes the need for character
backgrounds. The following charts
will help you create your Workhouse’s
origins, as well as its character’s faults and
failings. The charts aim to provide you
with flavourful starting prompts for each
character before you start modelling,
whether you decide to roll, or pick
your favourites.
Eventually many of these flavoursome
descriptions will be turned into
mechanics in game, so rest safe in
the knowledge that your decisions
are meaningful, even if no one quite
knows why.
1
[PRICE, ONE HALFPFENNIG]
What’s in a Name
The language of Swill is guttural and
repellent fish speak, similar to a heavy
smoker choking to death on a fishbone.
Swill names are commonly based on fish,
broken up by apostrophes to make room
for the Swillites hacking coughs.
Guilds
Every Pfishmonger Workhouse belongs
to one of the 6 guilds, each with their
own speciality and livery.
Roll a D6 to see which guild your
Workhouse belongs to.
1. Guild of the Forsaken Scrap.
Colour-scheme: Putrid Brown and
Insipid Yellow.
The most pathetic of the guilds, only
able to survive on the rotting remains
that other guilds leave behind. They
drape themselves in the reeking scraps of
Swill’s fishlike creatures, often resorting
to sharpened bones as weapons and
tools.
Notable Features: This guild is followed
by large flocks of predatory carrion
gulls. Some enterprising Berks have even
experimented with keeping these viscous
feathered fish creatures as pets.
2. Guild of the Riveted Death.
Colour-scheme: Scarlet Red and
Soot Black.
Terrifying masters of the Scab Steam
shipyards the Riveted Death are a guild
obsessed with the unstoppable power
of mechanised swill. They have a nasty
habit of drinking crude swill oil, which
slowly eats them from the inside out.
Notable Features: This guild has access
to more firepower than the other
Pfishmongers, and their members
have at least one revolver, rivet gun
or other more improvised firearm on
them somewhere.
3.
Icey Grey and Blood
Spattered Pink.
fie bitter barter wars between Swill’s
Factory Cults and their Scabs, results in
vast quantities of bloated meat washing
up on the foreshore. fie Flensers are a
guild in charge of butchering, preserving
and processing the beached offal.
oN table Features: Covered in icy
slush and dressed in Theshy scab robes,
this guild predominantly uses large
and brutal hacking weapons. It’s not
uncommon to ftnd a member porting
an ice block about on their backs to keep
their prey fresh afler it’s been skinned.
4.
Smoking aJ cket
aM roon and Rusty Tweeds.
fiis guild is made from only the peak
of Swill’s high society and its members
are fascinated with breeding new and
tasty creatures to sell at the grand ftsh
markets. A Gourmand guild member
will oflen be accompanied by a shoal
of energetic sprats and dutifully
hulking abominations.
fie Guild of the
Gourmand smokes the choicest swill
cigars and dines only on the ftnest
marinated sprat bladders. fiis means
they invariably suffer from extreme and
painful cranial Thesh gout. A member of
this guild will never be seen without a
top hat.
5.
Bilious Green
and Black.
fie Pilfered Ducat are a restless guild
of adventurers, traders and vandals
who risk the perilous months-long
journey to the surface world to ply
their wares. fiis task has proved more
dicult than expected, as the inhabitants
of Cist haven’t quite got the hang of
currency yet.
fiis guild is oflen
seen working alongside fie Turnip
Expeditionary Forces, recruiting the
terrifted surface dwellers into their
Workhouse ranks.
6. In addition to their Injuries, roll a
Deep Sea Blue and
to ftnd out what Emotional Baggage the
Luminescent Yellow. Berk carries.
fiis guild controls the vast swill trawling 1. fie taste
companies, sending its Workshouses of fresh blood makes the morning
down into the swill itself. uH nting for bowl of swill taste like vomit. fie Berk
the deepest prey or attacking rival Scabs now rushes into melee combat with a
Steamers below the waves. fie Sightless wickedly sharp blade to shed as much
eyes ftght brutal boarding actions inside blood as possible.
the cavernous meaty organs of rival
2. fie Berk
Factory Cult Scabs Steamers.
has seen what happens when an
fie Sightless Eyes abomination decides to tear a fellow
are usually covered in all manner of Pftsmonger limb from limb. fiey
hooks and drag chains that they use to now insist on attacking from afar,
trawl the swill for its many sightless and carrying a selection of long range
alabaster creatures. revolver weaponry.
3. Shunned from Swill’s
Tallow Ballrooms, the Berk, crest fallen
Every Berk is a frothing concoction of and covered in melted candles, feels they
horrible injuries, emotional baggage and need to make a name for themselves.
a hunger for tinned ftsh.
4. fie Berk has
become a little too fascinated with scab
Roll a to ftnd out the most recent
steamers, and has attempted to rivet
workplace injury your Berk has suffered. metal plates and chimneys to their body.
fie effect is strangely pleasing.
1. fie Berk has fallen
under the scalpel of the Factory Cult’s 5. : fie Berk has
Resurrectionists. A vicious rusted had their greasy palm read, and is
hooked prosthetic has been grafled in certain they are doomed. fiey cover
place of one of their hands in exchange themselves in a forest of lucky charms
for a few organs. and trinkets in an attempt to ward off
their ultimate fate.
2. Dealing with the
Driflwood uM dlarks is unwise, 6. Wearing a
especially when you have open wounds. decaying ftsh head all day can be trying
A cluster of screaming limpets has for those mutants with some speck of
latched themselves to the Berk. fie conventional attractiveness. To make
itching is unbearable. up for this, the Berk has glued dashing
facial hair to the front of their ftsh head.
3. fiey haven’t
been the same since, raving about
dreams of whispering oil and creatures
out of sight and sound. fie Berk now
scours the city, collecting staggering
amounts of tin cans and with which they
decorate their person.
4. uM tagenic fumes
from a newly built pack-rat kiln have
seeped into the Berks lungs while they
were taking a smoke break. fie Berk
sports a constant ftshy growth they must
gut and bone at regular intervals.
5. Years of ftsh based
nonsense has injured the Berks soul.
fiey rely on a warm mug of swill (with
dipping cigs) to ease the pain.
6. fie Berk carries two
revolver pit-guns u
j st in case.
2
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Gigantic Growth: Poster Boy:

Scab Steam Smuggler:

aH zardous Industrialist: School Bullied:

Deceptive Professional:

oM nkey Business:
Parasitised Prisoner:
u
M lti Limbed oM nstrosity:

Grave Robert: Armless:

Gillious Form:

Scab Ship Cook: Sent Packing:

Dorsal Problems: D3

Lantern Lure: Greasy:

Pcheesemonger:
Spine Splitting Sail:

Sharkoid Fin:

Carotid Illusionist: