Hoofstuk 39: Die besoek 1

The visit 1

Betekenis van die hoofstuktitel:

Die besoek 1 verwys na Lien se besoek aan haar ma in die kliniek. Refers to Lien visiting her
mom in the clinic.

Tannie Bets hou voor die hekke van die Aunt Bets stops in front of the gates of the
kliniek stil. clinic.

“Wil tannie nie maar saamkom nie?” vra "Don't you want to come along?" she asked
sy benoud. Maar sy weet, dis ‘n alleenswem anxiously. But she knows, this is a solo swim.
dié. (=Dis iets wat sy self moet doen.) (=It's something she has to do herself.)

“Nee, ek dink jy en jou ma moet ‘n bietjie "No, I think you and your mother should
alleen gesels. talk a little alone.

Lien klim stadig uit en lui die klokkie by die Lien got out slowly and rang the bell at the
klein hekkie. Sy stap met die paadjie tot by small gate. She walked up the path to the
die groot glasdeure aan die voorkant van die large glass doors at the front of the building.
gebou.
On the cool stoep, which looks as if it could
Op die koel stoep, wat lyk asof dit rondom go around the entire building, she sees a few
die hele gebou kan loop, sien sy ‘n paar people sitting on benches and talking. Two
mense op bankies sit en gesels. Twee mans men are playing table tennis. No one is
speel tafeltennis. Niemand kyk in haar rigting looking in her direction. They all look
nie. Hulle lyk almal doodgewoon, sien Lien ordinary, Lien saw in surprise. Nothing weird
verbaas. Niks weirds (=snaaks / ongewoon / (=not funny / unusual / strange). She doesn't
vreemd nie.) nie. Sy weet nie eintlik wat om really know what to expect. In the entrance
te verwag nie. In die ingangsportaal sit ‘n hall, a woman sits typing on a computer
vrou en tik op ‘n rekenaar agter die behind the reception desk. She peered over
ontvangstoonbank. Sy loer oor haar bril na her glasses at Lien.
Lien.
"I'm looking for my mother. Jooste," Lien
“Ek soek na my ma. Jooste,” sê Lien said uncomfortably.
ongemaklik.
Is jy familie van mevou Jooste?”
“Haar dogter.”
Die vrou leun oor en druk die knoppie van
‘n interkom.
“Mevrou Jooste, jy het ‘n besoeker,” sê sy
oor die interkom.
Sy draai na Lien. “Sy is nie in haar kamer
nie.
“Meneer Malherbe, het jy nie vir Christien
Jooste gesien nie? Sy het ‘n besoeker.”
“Sy sit in die tuin. Kom ek gaan wys jou, ”
sê die man vriendelik
Haar ma en ‘n jong meisie met lang, blonde
hare sit op ‘n bankie in die koelte van ‘n
groot boom. Haar ma lyk maerder as wat sy
onthou. Haar donker hare hang los oor haar
skouers.
“Ma?” sê Lien huiwerig toe sy binne
hoorafstand is. Haar ma kyk op. Sy lyk
verbaas. Dit lyk asof sy nie weet wat om
volgende te doen nie.
“Ma,” sê Lien weer. Haar ma staan stadig
op en loop tot waar Lien langs die visdam bly slowly got up and walked to where Lien was
staan het. Sonder ‘n woord vou sy haar arms standing next to the fishpond. Without a
om Lien.
“My kind,” sê sy net. Lien gee haar ma
ongemaklik ‘n drukkie terug en woel haar los. gives her mother a hug back and loosens
Hulle gaan op die bankie sit.
“Wie is die meisie? Werk sy hier?”
Are you related to Madame Jooste?”
"Her daughter."
The woman leans over and presses the
button of an intercom.
"Mrs. Jooste, you have a visitor," she says
over the intercom.
She turned to Lien. "She's not in her room.
"Mr. Malherbe, haven't you seen Christien
Jooste? She has a visitor."
"She is sitting in the garden. Let me go and
show you," said the man kindly.
Her mother and a young girl with long,
blonde hair are sitting on a bench in the
shade of a large tree. Her mother looks
thinner than she remembers. Her dark hair
hangs loosely over her shoulders.
"Mom?" Lien said hesitantly when she was
within earshot. Her mother looked up. She
looks surprised. She doesn't seem to know
what to do next.
"Mother," said Lien again. Her mother
word she wrapped her arms around Lien.
"My child," she just said. Lien awkwardly
herself from the hug.
They are going to sit on the bench.
“Who is the girl? Does she work here?”
 “Nee,”lag haar ma. “Sy is hier vir "No," laughs her mother. "She's here for
behandeling, soos ek.” treatment, like me."

“Hoe gaan dit met Braam?” vra haar ma ""How is Braam?" asked her mother.
oplaas.
Hy weet hoe om te oorleef. Hy sien moontlik net die
positiewe sy van dinge. He knows how to survive. He
may only see the positive side of things.

“Aag, Ma weet mos. Dit gaan altyd goed
met Braam. Hy is 'n survivor. Hy het nogal
78% vir sy laaste Wiskunde-toets gekry,”
probeer Lien lighartig geselskap maak. “En
dit gaan goed by die huis. Gerhard ... uhm ...
die predikant en die kerk help en tannie Bets
dra potte vol kos aan. Ons ly nie honger nie.”
"Oh, Mom knows. Braam is always fine. He
is a survivor. He got quite a 78% for his last
Maths test," Lien tries to lightheartedly make
company. "And things are going well at
home. Gerhard ... uhm ... the minister and
the church help and aunt Bets brings pots full
of food. We are not starving."

“En met jou?” vra haar ma na ‘n rukkie.
Lien ignoreer die vraag. Haar ma klink
anders. Hoe anders, weet sy nog nie. Sy is
net iewers ver waar Lien nie kan bykom nie.
"And with you?" asked her mother after a
while. Lien ignores the question. Her mother
sounds different. How else, she doesn't know
yet. She's just somewhere far away that Lien
can't reach.

“Is dit erg hier?” "Is it bad here?"

“Die heel ergste was die eerste dag,” sê
haar ma ingedagte. “Hulle het in al my goed
gekrap, tot in my onderklere, om ‘n ou skelm
doppie te soek. En hier is geen genade nie.
Niemand het vir niemand 'n geheim nie en
niemand kan 'n pose (=voorgee) vir niemand
hou nie. Almal is gelyk.”
"The very worst was the first day," says her
mother thoughtfully. "They rummaged
through all my things, down to my
underwear, to look for an old rogue cap. And
there is no mercy here. No one has a secret
from anyone and no one can hold a pose for
anyone. Everyone is equal."

“Wat doen julle heeldag?” vra sy na ‘n "What do you do all day?" she asked after a
rukkie. while.

Rehabilitasie: pasiënte praat ook hulle seerkry (hurt) in groepe en met ‘n sielkundige.
Praat oor hoe drank jou lewe en verhoudings (relationships) vernietig (destroy). Moet
leer om jouself te vergewe (forgive).

“Ons het groepsessies en elke dag het ons "We have group sessions and every day we
‘n afspraak met ‘n sielkundige.”Haar ma have an appointment with a psychologist."
versit op die bankie. Her mother shift on the bench.
 “Waaroor praat julle?
Hulle probeer ons gate toestop en ons
wonde toewerk. Hulle probeer maar om ons
te oortuig dat ons dronkgatpaadjie ‘n
doodloopstraat is en dat ons lewe sonder
drank meer betekenisvol gaan wees,”sê
haar ma met 'n laggie. Hulle sit weer ‘n
rukkie in stilte.
“Glo Ma dit?”
“Ou Harry doen sy bes,”sug haar ma.
“Wie is Harry?”
“Harry die heler. Hy is my terapeut. Hy
spesialiseer in verslawings en hy is nogal
simpatiek, hoewel hy nie doekies omdraai
nie (=vertel alles reguit). Hy sê sy sê en vertel
my wat is wat,”lag haar ma.
Lien kyk oor haar skouer na die stoep waar
‘n paar mense lag. Sy draai na haar ma.
“En sê Ma Ma se sê?”
“Daar is nie veel te sê nie.”Sy sug weer.
“Ek was ‘n vreeslike ma vir my kinders
omdat ek nie die pyne kon vat nie. Ek het
gevlug en julle iewers gelos om self op te
snork (=om dit alleen te trotseer). Die
wyndoos was my reddingsbaadjie. En ek het
gevlieg, vrek ver tot daar waar ek geen pyn
meer kon voel nie en niks meer saak
gemaak het nie. Waar berge soos klein
molshopies gelyk het,”sê sy ingedagte. Sy
kyk nog steeds na iewers agter in die tuin. Dit
klink asof sy met haarself praat.
"What are you talking about?
They try to plug our holes and heal our
wounds. They are just trying to convince us
that our drunken path is a dead end and that
our life without alcohol will be more
meaningful," says her mother with a laugh.
They sit in silence again for a while.
"Does Mom believe that?"
"Old Harry is doing his best," sighed her
mother.
"Who is Harry?"
“Harry the healer. He is my therapist. He
specializes in addictions and he's quite
sympathetic, although he doesn't mince
words/doesn’t beat around the bush. He
says she says and tells me what is what,"
laughs her mother.
Lien looked over her shoulder at the stoep
where a few people were laughing. She
turned to her mother.
"And does Ma say Ma's say?"
"There is not much to say." She sighed
again. "I was a terrible mother to my children
because I couldn't take the pain. I fled and
left you to face it all alone. The wine box was
my life jacket. And I flew, damn far to where
I couldn't feel any more pain and nothing
mattered anymore. Where mountains looked
like small molehills," she says thoughtfully.
She is still looking somewhere in the back of
the garden. It sounds like she is talking to
herself.
 “Hy sê ek sal moet leer om myself te "He says I will have to learn to forgive
vergewe voordat ek kan verwag julle moet myself before I can expect you to forgive
my vergewe sê sy steeds ingedagte, asof sy me," she says still thoughtfully, as if she had
vergeet het Lien sit langs haar. forgotten Lien sits next to her.

Sy vat Lien se hand sonder om na haar te She took Lien's hand without looking at
kyk. Hulle sit weer in stilte. her. They sit in silence again.

“Sal Ma weer drink ... ?”. "Will Mom drink again

“Die Here weet, ek weet nie. Harry sê dit "The Lord knows, I don't know. Harry says
bly by jou vir die res van jou lewe.”Sy draai it stays with you for the rest of your life." She
na Lien . “Maar ek gaan vrek hard probeer, turned to Lien. “But I'm going to try damn
regtig, regtig. hard, really, really.

“Sal ons ooit vir Pa kan vergewe?”vra sy
huiwerig. Sy weet nie waar dit vandaan kom
nie. Haar ma sê niks nie. Sy kyk na die geel
en oranje vissies wat om en om in die
visdam swem. ‘n Tortelduif begin droewig in
die boom bokant hulle koer.
"Will we ever be able to forgive Dad?" she
asked hesitantly. She doesn't know where it
came from. Her mother doesn't say anything.
She looked at the yellow and orange fish
swimming round and round in the fishpond.
A turtledove began cooing sadly in the tree
above them.

“Kom ek gaan wys jou die kapelletjie!”sê "Let me go and show you the little chapel!"
haar ma skielik opgewonde. “Dis klein, maar said her mother suddenly excited. "It's small,
nogal cute (=oulik). En hulle speel Bach! Dis but quite cute. And they play Bach! It's
nou wel backtracks (=musiek wat vooraf backtracks, but it's better than nothing."
opgeneem is), maar dis beter as niks.”

Daar is skielik iets in haar ma se oë wat Lien
van lank gelede onthou. Dis soos ‘n ou
droom wat jy lankal vergeet het en waaraan
iets jou skielik herinner. ‘n Lekker droom.
There is suddenly something in her mother's
eyes that Lien remembers from long ago. It's
like an old dream that you've forgotten for a
long time and something suddenly reminds
you of it. A nice dream.

Aan die agterkant van die kliniek is daar 'n
klein, ronde, wit geboutjie. Hulle gaan sit in
die middel op een van die harde
houtbankies. Orrelmusiek speel op die
agtergrond.
“Dis nou oorlede Bach on a backtrack,”lag
haar ma. “Air on a G string. Dit bly amazing
(=wonderlik).” Haar oë blink.
At the back of the clinic there is a small,
round, white building. They sat down in the
middle on one of the hard wooden benches.
Organ music plays in the background.
"It's now deceased Bach on a backtrack,"
laughs her mother. “Air on a G string. It
remains amazing." Her eyes are shining.
 "Why doesn't Mom want to play the piano
“Hoekom wil Ma nie meer klavier speel anymore?" Lien asked hesitantly.
nie?” vra Lien huiwerig.

“Aag, ek weet nie eintlik nie. Dis asof dit
behoort tot ‘n lewe wat lankal verby is, toe
dinge nog mooi en goed en reg was. Dit voel
so half stupid (=dom/onvanpas) om te speel,
so asof niks gebeur het nie. En met ‘n paar
wyne agter die blad kan ek nie speel nie.” Sy
lag.
"Oh, I don't really know. It's as if it belongs
to a life that is long gone, when things were
still beautiful and good and right. It feels so
half stupid to play, as if nothing happened.
And with a few glasses of wines in your body
I can't play." She laughs.

Lien verkyk haar aan die groot wit blomme. Lien stared at the large white flowers.

“Ma moet huis toe kom.” Sy besef verbaas "Mom has to come home. ” She realized
dat sy dit regtig bedoel. Sy haal die with surprise that she really meant it. She
toegedraaide CD uit haar sak en stop dit in took the wrapped CD out of her pocket and
haar ma se hande. Chopin se klavierkonserte. put it in her mother's hands. Chopin's piano
concertos.
Dit is 'n groot stap na vergifnis en aanvaarding van haar situasie. Moontlik het Tibbey
en Roos se invloed haar gehelp. This is a big step towards forgiveness and acceptance of
her situation. Possibly Tibbey and Roos' influence helped her.