Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood

Temperament
§ an individual’s behavioral style and characteristic emotional responses
§ show fewer emotional mood swings than they did in adolescence
§ become more responsible and engage in less risk-taking behavior
§ researchers also find links between some dimensions of childhood temperament and adult
personality (EX: in one longitudinal study, children who were highly active at age 4 were likely to
be very outgoing at age 23)
§ EASY AND DIFFICULT TEMPERAMENTS - Children who had an easy temperament at 3 to 5 years
of age were likely to be well-adjusted as young adults. In contrast, children who had a difficult
temperament at 3 to 5 years of age were not well adjusted as young adults
§ INHIBITION - Individuals who had an inhibited temperament in childhood are less likely than
other adults to be assertive or experience social support, and more likely to delay entering a
stable job track.
§ Ability to control one’s emotions - children WHO showed good control of their emotions and
were resilient in the face of stress were likely to continue to handle emotions effectively as
adults
§ Studies reveal some continuity between certain aspects of temperament in childhood and
adjustment in early adulthood

Attachment
§ Studies revealed that young adults who were securely attached in their romantic relationships
were more likely to describe their early relationship with their parents as securely attached.

Attraction
§ FIRST IMPRESSION - first impression can have lasting effects
§ Numerous studies have found that immediate impressions can be accurate. However, in some
cases first impressions can be misleading.
§ FAMILIARITY - familiarity is an important condition for a close relationship to develop.
§ SIMILARITY - our friends and lovers are much more like us than unlike us, IN TERMS OF attitudes,
values, lifestyles, physical ATTRACTIVENESS, ETC. For some characteristics, though, opposites
may attract.
§ Why are people attracted to others who have similar attitudes, values, and lifestyles?
§ Consensual validation - Our own attitudes and values are supported when someone else’s
attitudes and values are similar to ours, THUS, their attitudes and values validate ours.
 § Another reason similarity matters is that people tend to shy away from the unknown.
§ psychologists have determined that men and women differ on the importance of good looks
when they seek an intimate partner
§ Women tend to rate as most important such traits as considerateness, honesty, dependability,
kindness, understanding, and earning prospect
§ men prefer good looks, cooking skills, and frugality
§ matching hypothesis - although we may prefer a more attractive person in the abstract, in the
real world we end up choosing someone who is close to our own level of attractiveness.

The Faces of Love

§ Love refers to a vast and complex territory of human behavior, spanning a range of relationships
that includes friendship, romantic love, affectionate love, and consummate love. In most of
these types of love, one recurring theme is intimacy.
§ INTIMACY - Self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts. identity development in
adolescence is a precursor to intimacy in romantic relationships during adulthood
§ FRIENDSHIP - Adulthood brings opportunities for new friendships as individuals move to new
locations and may establish new friendships in their neighborhood or at work
§ ROMANTIC LOVE - Some friendships evolve into romantic love, which is also called passionate
love or eros. THIS HAS strong components of sexuality and infatuation, and it often
predominates in the early part of a love relationship
§ AFFECTIONATE Love - also called companionate love, is the type of love that occurs when
someone desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the person
Love is more than just passion
§ CONSUMMATE LOVE – THE FULLEST FORM OF LOVE
§ ROBERT J. STERNBERG proposed a triarchic theory of love in which love can be thought of as a
triangle with three main dimensions:
§ Passion - is physical and sexual attraction to another
§ Intimacy - the emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship
§ Commitment - the cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the
relationship even in the face of problems.
§ If passion is the only ingredient in a relationship, we are merely infatuated. An affair or a fling in
which there is little intimacy and evenless commitment is an example.
§ A relationship marked by intimacy and commitment but low or lacking in passion is called
affectionate love, a pattern often found among couples who have been married for many years.
§ If passion and commitment are present but intimacy is not, the relationship fatuous love, as
when one person worships another from a distance.
§ But if couples share all three dimensions—passion, intimacy, and commitment—they experience
consummate love.
Falling Out of Love
§ happiness and personal development may benefit from ending a close relationship
§ WHEN TO END A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP?
ü if you are obsessed with someone who repeatedly BETRAYS YOUR TRUST
ü if you are involved with someone who is draining you emotionally or financially
or both
ü if you are desperately in love with someone who does not return your feelings
§ Being in love when love is not returned can lead to depression, obsessive thoughts, sexual
dysfunction, health problems, inability to work effectively, difficulty in making new friends, AND
SELF-CONDEMNATION

Adult Lifestyles
§ SINGLE ADULTS – UNMARRIED ADULTS, Even when single adults enjoy their lifestyles and are
highly competent individuals, they often are stereotyped
§ COHABITING ADULTS – ALSO KNOWN AS COHABITATION, WHICH refers to living together in a
sexual relationship without being married
§ MARRIED ADULTS - personal fulfillment both inside and outside marriage has emerged as a goal
that competes with marital stability
§ In a recent book, The Marriage Paradox (Willoughby & James, 2017), the authors concluded that
the importance of marriage to emerging and young adults may motivate them to first build a
better career and financial foundation to increase the likelihood that their marriage will be
successful later.
§ DIVORCED ADULTS – SEPARATED, What causes people to get divorced?
§ “grew apart” (men 39 percent, women 36 percent)
§ “arguments” (27 percent, 30 percent)
§ “unfaithfulness/adultery” (18 percent, 24 percent)
§ “lack of respect, appreciation” (17 percent, 25 percent)
§ “domestic violence” (4 percent, 16 percent)
§ REMARRIED ADULTS - Men remarry after a divorce sooner than women do, and men with higher
incomes are more likely to remarry than their counterparts with lower incomes

Marriage and Family

§ MAKING MARRIAGE WORK– John Gottman argues that it is important to realize that love is not
something magical and that through knowledge and effort couples can improve their
relationship. HE identified seven main practices that help marriages succeed:
ü Establish love maps
ü Nurture fondness and admiration
ü Turn toward each other instead of away
ü Let your partner influence you
ü Solve solvable conflicts
ü Overcome gridlock
ü Create shared meaning
§ BECOMING A PARENT -Parenting requires a number of interpersonal skills and imposes
emotional demands, yet there is little in the way of formal education for this task.
§ Most parents learn parenting practices from their own parents, accepting some and discarding
others.
§ Unfortunately, when methods of parents are passed on from one generation to the next, both
desirable and undesirable practices are perpetuated.
Gender and Communication Styles
§ Communication problems between men and women may come in part from differences in their
preferred ways of communicating.
§ Deborah Tannen distinguishes rapport talk from report talk.
§ Rapport talk is the language of conversation; it is a way of establishing connections and
negotiating relationships.
§ Report talk is talk that is designed to give information; this category of communication includes
public speaking.
§ According to Tannen, women enjoy rapport talk more than report talk, and men’s lack of
interest in rapport talk bothers many women. In contrast, men prefer to engage in report talk.

Gender Classification
§ MASCULINITY – EX: powerful, assertive
§ FEMININITY – EX: sensitive to others, caring
§ ANDROGYNY – the presence of positive masculine and feminine characteristics in the same
person
§ TRANSGENDER – a broad term that refers to individuals who adopt a gender identity that differs
from the one assigned to them at birth