Taking Charge Manual

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TAKING CHARGE: THE POWER OF

WOMEN AT WORK
LIVE ONLINE TRAINING
Learning Objectives

1. Relook into self-concept and self-acceptance.


2. Increase self-compassion and self-confidence.
3. Illuminate women’s strength roles.
4. Increase assertiveness and take charge of verbal
exchanges.
5. Enhance women’s positive contributions towards
workplace.

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Learning Modules
Module Module Module
1 2 3
Self- Play to My Strengths In
Compassion Strengths Action
& Acceptance

3
MODULE 1
SELF-COMPASSION & ACCEPTANCE

My Ideal Self



5

My Ideal Self



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My Ideal Self
Describe your ideal self:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

When you achieve your ideal self, what will be different?


_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________ 7
3 things I like about
myself: 3 things I dislike
About Me _______________________ about myself:
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________
3 things that are
important to me: 3 things I am not
3 things that I am confident in:
_______________________ interested in:
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________
_______________________ _______________________
_______________________
_______________________
_______________________
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Where Are You Now?

1 5 10
Feel very unhappy with Feel OK with myself Feel very happy with
myself and totally myself and confident
lacking confidence about things

_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
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What do you normally say to yourself?
2. Why am I always
1. I have done a great job!
doing something wrong?

3. I must be strong and


make myself better! 4. I accept my shortcomings.

5. Everyone makes
6. I am not good enough;
mistakes, I don’t need to
I need to improve.
blame myself.
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With self-compassion, we
give ourselves the same
kindness and care we’d
give to a good friend.

Dr. Kristin Neff


Associate Professor,
The University of Texas at Austin
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Self-Compassion
 Be kind and
understanding when
confronted with
personal failings.

 Respect and accept who


you are.

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Self-Compassion is not:
 Self-Pity

 Self-Indulgence

 Self-Esteem

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Self-Compassion, includes:

 See my pain & suffering

 Understand my pain &


suffering

 Empathize myself

 Accept myself

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Benefits of Self-Compassion:

 Reduce stress and anxiety


 Reduce depression
 Better manage negative motions
 Healthier
 Face challenges positively
 Connect with others easily
 Foster positive relationships
 Avoid throwing tantrum to others

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Self-Compassion Scale
HOW I TYPICALLY ACT TOWARDS MYSELF IN DIFFICULT TIMES
Please read each statement carefully before answering. Please indicate how often you behave in the stated manner,
using the following scale:
1 - Almost never 2 – Occasionally 3 - About half of the time 4 - Fairly Often 5 - Almost Always
No Statement Rate
1 I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies.
2 When I’m feeling down I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that’s wrong.
3 When things are going badly for me, I see the difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through.
4 When I think about my inadequacies, it tends to make me feel more separate and cut off from the rest of the world.
5 I try to be loving towards myself when I’m feeling emotional pain.
6 When I fail at something important to me, I become consumed by feelings of inadequacy.
7 When I'm down and out, I remind myself that there are lots of other people in the world feeling like I am.
8 When times are really difficult, I tend to be tough on myself.
9 When something upsets me, I try to keep my emotions in balance.
10 When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people.
11 I’m intolerant and impatient towards those aspects of my personality I don't like. 16
Self-Compassion Scale
No Statement Rate
12 When I’m going through a very hard time, I give myself the caring and tenderness I need.
13 When I’m feeling down, I tend to feel like most other people are probably happier than I am.
14 When something painful happens, I try to take a balanced view of the situation.
15 I try to see my failings as part of the human condition.
16 When I see aspects of myself that I don’t like, I get down on myself.
17 When I fail at something important to me, I try to keep things in perspective.
18 When I’m really struggling, I tend to feel like other people must be having an easier time of it.
19 I’m kind to myself when I’m experiencing suffering.
20 When something upsets me, I get carried away with my feelings.
21 I can be a bit cold-hearted towards myself when I'm experiencing suffering.
22 When I'm feeling down, I try to approach my feelings with curiosity and openness.
23 I’m tolerant of my own flaws and inadequacies.
24 When something painful happens, I tend to blow the incident out of proportion.
25 When I fail at something that's important to me, I tend to feel alone in my failure.
26 I try to be understanding and patient towards those aspects of my personality I don't like. 17
Self-Compassion Scale
Elements Questions Score
Self-Kindness 5, 12, 19, 23, 26

Self-Judgment 1, 8, 11, 16, 21

Common Humanity 3, 7, 10, 15

Isolation 4, 13, 18, 25

Mindfulness 9, 14, 17, 22

Over Identification 2, 6, 20, 24


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Self-Kindness
Being warm and understanding toward
ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel
inadequate.

VS

Self-Judgments
Ignoring our pain or flagellating
ourselves with self-criticism.

19
Common Humanity
Suffering and personal inadequacy is
part of the shared human experience.

VS

Isolation
“I” were the only person suffering or
making mistakes.

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Mindfulness
A non-judgmental, receptive mind state
in which one observes thoughts and
feelings as they are, without trying to
suppress or deny them.

VS

Over Identification
“Over-identified” with thoughts and
feelings, so that we are caught up and
swept away by negative reactivity.

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Self-Compassion Exercises

1. Self- 2. 3. Write a
Compassion Supportive Letter to
Break Touch Yourself

4. Changing 5. Self-
Critical Self- Compassion
talk Journal

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Letter to Myself
Dear ___________,

I remember____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
I feel_________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
I discover______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
From: __________ 23
Changing Critical Self-Talk

Critical Self-Talk Positive Self-Talk


_____________________________ _____________________________
_____________________________ _____________________________
_____________________________ _____________________________
_____________________________ _____________________________
_____________________________ _____________________________
_____________________________ _____________________________
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Samples of Positive Self-Talk

 I have done a great job!


 I don't need to be perfect.
 In every failed experience, there is positive learning.
 Everyone makes mistakes, I don’t need to blame myself!
 I see my own beauty.
 I have unlimited creativity.
 I choose to be happy.
 I am grateful for anything that happened to me.
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New Discovery About Myself
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
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MODULE 2
PLAY TO MY STRENGTHS
Who Are You?
1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10

11 12 13 14 15

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Who Are You?

1) Nature Object that represents you:


_______________________________________
2) Characteristics:
_______________________________________
3) Uniqueness:
_______________________________________

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My Best Self Reflections ®

Moment of Brilliant Personal Mission


How did you manage to achieved these moments of What will you like to achieve for your career?
brilliance?
How will you know that you created impact?
What stand out in these moments compared to other
experiences? My Personal mission in life is to...

What/who else contributed to these moments? How clear are you about your purpose in your career?

Best Self Stories Career Identity


Suppose you are at your best, what will you be doing What do you want others to know you for/as?
differently?
How will you tell others about your career?
How will you know that you are leveraging on your
strengths at work? What will you hope to see on your name card?

How will you know when you are at your best? What values do you want to create?

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My Best Self Reflections ®

Moment of Brilliant Personal Mission

Best Self Stories Career Identity

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SIGNs of Strong Life

S I G N
Successful Instinctive Growing & Needs
Anticipation Learning Fulfilled
• Feels effective and • Feels hope, • Feeling of growth, • Purpose,
capable. excitement and joy. focus and relationship and
• Affirmation of • Looks forward to concentrate. recognition needs
strengths. tomorrow. • Getting better at are fulfilled.
something.

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Focusing on strengths is the
surest way to greater job
satisfaction, team performance
and organizational excellence.

Marcus Buckingham
New York Times Best Selling Author
Founder of the Strengths Revolution
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PEOPLE WHO FOCUS
ON USING THEIR STRENGTHS…

ARE 3 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO


REPORT HAVING AN
EXCELLENT QUALITY OF LIFE

AND 6 TIMES AS
LIKELY TO BE
MORE SUCCESSFUL
IN THEIR JOBS.

Source: Gallup Strengths Center


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Discover Strengths

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Myths on Strengths

• As you grow, your personality


Myth 1 changes.

• As you grow, you become more and


more of who you already are. Truth

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Myths on Strengths

• You will grow the most in your


Myth 2 areas of greatest Weakness.

• You will grow the most in your


areas of greatest Strength. Truth

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Speed Reading Program

Student Slow Readers Speed Readers


Pre-test
85 WPM 300 WPM

Post-test
134 WPM 1800 WPM

% Change
50% 600%

Source:Gallup Organisation
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Myths on Strengths

• A good team member does


Myth 3 whatever it takes to help the
team.

• A good team member deliberately


volunteers his strengths to the team Truth
most of the time.

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TALENT + SKILL + KNOWLEDGE

= STRENGTH

Source: Gallup Strengths Center


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Discover the Role You Were Born to Play
Advisor Caretaker Creator
 You ask lots of questions.  You want others to like you and you work to  You feel uncomfortable if a day goes by
 You are impatient for things to get done. make them like you. You are good at it, and it without producing some tangible sign of
 You take pleasure in fine distinctions. gives you strength. insight or understanding.
 You are always explaining things.  You pay attention to each person’s  You push yourself hard, rarely stopping to
 You trust your guts. idiosyncrasies. celebrate your accomplishments.
 You check in with people frequently.  You read a lot of nonfiction.
 You build a large circle of friends.  You are inspired by the achievements of others
 You create passionate loyalty in others. – not their growth and development, but what
they have achieved. You are more interested
in destinations than journeys.

Strongest Moments: Strongest Moments: Strongest Moments:


 You discover the few critical improvements that  People confide in you.  You figure something out.
make the difference.  You friends come to you over others.  You spend time by yourself reading, writing,
 Someone calls you up out of the blue and  You anticipate what someone else will love preparing your mind.
relies on your opinion. and get it right.  A fresh insight dawns on you.
 You clarify a complex issue for someone, she  You relieve others’ stress.  You have an in-depth conversation with
acts on what you told her, and you see her  you find a productive way to include someone someone.
succeed. who has been left out.  You get a chance to show your expertise.
 You land on a distinction that reveals an
elemental truth about the world.
 You are asked to be an expert witness.

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Discover the Role You Were Born to Play
Equalizer Influencer Motivator
 You do best when deadlines and time frame  You enjoy closing the sale.  You have more social requests than you know
are clear.  You sometimes challenge people more than what to do with.
 You spend a lot of time defining the rules of you should.  You have an infectious laugh.
the game.  You are someone others rely on to say it like it  You love throwing parties for other people,
 You become an ardent and active supporter is. though not necessarily for yourself.
of the causes you commit to.  You enjoy a little resistance to your ideas  You are sought out, and worn out, by
 You stand up for what is right even when it is because it gives you a chance to show just how emotional vampires.
not popular to do so. persuasive you can be.  You collect inspirational stories and quotes.

Strongest Moments: Strongest Moments: Strongest Moments:


 You make things right when someone has been  You find the right lever to move someone to  You laugh- and also when you cry.
wronged. action.  You make others laugh.
 You defend a person or principle in the face  You make someone think that your idea is  You are told, “You’re an inspiration to me.”
of resistance. theirs.  You are able to take charge of a group and
 You get things organized.  You bargain with someone and wind up with a raise their spirits.
 You clarify the rules we should all be playing great deal.  You plan a celebration for someone and see
by.  You are called on to make the final decision. her reaction.
 Others ask you to render a judgment and then  You are on the front lines, moving things
do what you say. forward.

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Discover the Role You Were Born to Play
Pioneer Teacher Weaver
 You are quickly bored.  You never give up on anybody. You are  You have a large circle of acquaintances.
 You are always thinking about new business convinced that each person is capable of  You are never at a loss for whom to call.
ideas. learning and growing.  You are always planning whom you are going
 You are excitable and curious.  You collect vivid stories of how someone to introduce to whom.
 You don’t read instructions. overcame an obstacle or made the leap to a  You often cold-call people you’ve heard or
 You are an early adopter of new technology. new level of understanding. read about in order to connect them with
 You gather facts, experiences, and objects that someone you know.
you think might, at some point, prove useful to  You ask the people you meet a lot of questions
a particular person’s growth. about their interests and experiences.
 You become a magnet for highly talented
people looking for a mentor.
Strongest Moments: Strongest Moments: Strongest Moments:
 You’re starting something new.  You find a story, a fact, or an object that you  You find common ground between two people
 Your plans change suddenly, and you have to can use to help someone learn. who, on the surface, have little in common.
improvise.  You design a way to help a person keep track  You sense you are in the middle of the
 You push yourself beyond your limits. of her progress. information flow.
 You’re talking about what’s next.  You see someone finally “get it”.  You link a person in your network with a new
 You’re not quite sure what’s about to happen.  You take time to learn something for yourself. piece of information that winds up benefiting
 You see a student use a skill that you taught her.
her.  Others turn to you to find the right person to
help them.

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Application of Strength Roles
Strength Roles How do you apply this strength role at work? Results

1)

2)

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Case Studies
Case 1 How can you respond more appropriately
to this situation?
You're frustrated because your colleague ___________________________________
in France keeps messaging you at 5am
___________________________________
(your time).
They send you seemingly urgent requests ___________________________________
when you're sleeping or just waking up,
___________________________________
and you're sick of being bombarded with
more than 10 requests before you've even ___________________________________
sat down at your desk.
___________________________________
You get the vibe they don't like you very
much and you don't know how to ___________________________________
approach them.
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Case Studies
Case 2 How can you respond more appropriately
to this situation?
You got a promotion that your friend at ___________________________________
work was also gunning for. ___________________________________
Now things are awkward between you
___________________________________
two. You definitely want to keep the
friendship going, but they aren't even ___________________________________
speaking to you outside of team ___________________________________
meetings. ___________________________________
___________________________________

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Case Studies
How can you respond more appropriately
to this situation?
Case 3
___________________________________
During a project post-mortem ___________________________________
meeting, you have some new ideas to ___________________________________
share with the team.
___________________________________
However, the meeting is dominated
by a few of your colleagues. You do ___________________________________
not get a chance to speak. ___________________________________
___________________________________

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Case Studies
Case 4 How can you respond more appropriately
to this situation?
Your manager has given you a new ___________________________________
project, which you have no ___________________________________
experience and little knowledge on it.
___________________________________
Your manager requested that you do
a presentation to the top ___________________________________
management on your project plan. ___________________________________
After reviewing all the information ___________________________________
available to you, you got stuck, and
___________________________________
not sure how to begin.
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Case Studies
Case 5
How can you respond more appropriately
You have 2 colleagues, Ashlee and to this situation?
James. ___________________________________
James, while being a proficient worker,
tends to wait until the last minute to get ___________________________________
his work done. ___________________________________
Ashlee works more steadily and keeps
on top of her work daily. ___________________________________
Ashlee complains to you that she feels ___________________________________
she has to worry now about his work
and her own. She is uncomfortable with ___________________________________
waiting until an hour or so before a ___________________________________
deadline when they are forced to
collaborate. 50
If I had one thing to say
to myself, what would it
be?

_____________________
_____________________

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Reflection
3 major learnings from this program:
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

Immediate Next Step:


_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________ 52
If you look at what
you have in life, you’ll
always have more.
If you look at what
you don’t have in lie,
you’ll never have
enough.
~Oprah Winfrey

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